Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Body Count with Jasmin "Watch Jazzy" Brown

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

Season 1 Episode 3 | Let's talk about SEX, baby -- cause some of us want a freak in the morning and a freak in the evening 👀 Ladies, is it just me, or are you also tired of how society shames you for your body count, or how men oftentimes use it against you? I mean let's be real, most of our thoughts and mindset around sex are just plain-old antiquated, in my opinion. Sit on my couch for a conversation with my girl, the hilarious -- and also my whole arch nemesis on Sistas and ZATIMA, Jasmin "Watch Jazzy" Brown, for a conversation about all things S-E-X. I mean we're talking losing our virginities, hoe phases and hoe-tations, slut shaming, and more! Follow Jasmin: https://www.instagram.com/watchjazzy/ Follow KIPS: https://www.instagram.com/keepitpositivesweetie/ KIPS is produced and executive produced by Dinorah Peña, co-produced by Chanel Gross. Audio and visual by Kvle.

Hey guys, welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive Sweetie. Today we are talking about, and this is a sensitive subject to some people body counts. That's right. And when I think about body count, I think of the song that was by Dana Howard. It goes, I want to freaking them on and I freaking the eagerness. Just like me. I need a rough nut, brother that can satisfy me.

Just for me, if you are that kind of man, then I'm that kind of girl. I got a freaky secret. Everybody's saying, because we know't have a damn about a thing. It was that we had that about a thing. You don't have to harm yourself. So good. And today I have with me one of my favorite people. Somebody that I get the pleasure to work with. I have always admired

your work ethic, your skills. And I'm just so happy to see where your career is taking you. The incredible jazz and brown, AKA Watts Jazzy, which is millions of you know her is. Toya Turnup, and who I recently have known her as, Dacia, my art's never seen something. Oh my God. My cheeks hurt. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

That's not real when I'm working with you, because I'm like, she keeps me laughing y'all. No, we really, no. Literally. I can't get through a scene and Tyler gets so mad he's like crystal focused. Because you know we only doing it in one day. One taking with it. With me and you, it's not five.

It's like, days are like five. I'm back. I can't even get you that. Before I start walking up to you. I'm like do not laugh because you're so funny. Thank you. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I'm so proud of you. You're my idol. You always, I know I posted a reel and there was like a clip of me talking to someone and I'm like she's my idol. You can like read my lips. I'm like she's my idol. Yeah, you really are. I be looking like how Chris are gonna stand on my life today and I'm just eating it up. I'm like, yes

Because you just you're doing it yourself. Yeah, well, I mean now I have a lot of amazing people behind me I do oh, I'm sure however When I say you're doing it by yourself, you're not attached to like a person. Oh, I got you guys You know what I mean like some people like they get their claim to fame by this person and whatever but it's like It's just you. Yeah, it's just you. Yes, you got it. God, dude.

God, dude. Yeah. Yes. So today we are talking about Body Camp, which is a very controversial topic that comes up and dating. Have you ever had a guy ask you, like, so how many people have you had sex with?

Yeah. I get it all the time. And I feel like after a certain age is like, thank you. Don't ask me. Don't ask me. Because you still go ahead it. You act like it's going to change your mind.

I feel like for men, the ones that ask, they ask to see what category they're going to put you in. So if you only slept with under five, which I don't know nobody, I don't know none of y'all who got under five body. Me neither. You know what I mean? Then they're like, oh yeah, she white,

he looks serious. Yeah. And then if you tell them 26, they're gonna be like, oh no, I gotta write that off. Or you know, I'm just gonna hit it or they might think you're easy or whatever. But it's like grow up. Please grow up.

Cause every new year's eve, the miles reset. That's how I feel. When they say, my heart is deleting. My heart is deleting. It is, the least of the least. Yeah, 2023 baby, that's the only man. No, no, that's right. That's right. Let's say reset.

Reese. That's good. That's right. Listen, okay, the resolutions are not the only thing resetting on January 1. Hello. Hopefully, me. I love it.

Do you feel like sometimes men are, when they ask the body count is that our insecurity, are they picky? Because I know some men, even there are some men that have been insecure about the men I've dated. You know, and I like to be honest about it because some of those relationships are with public figures and I don't want to, it's a come up and he like, well, you never tell me about this. But I have relationships that didn't work because they couldn't stand like watching TV

and seeing my ex on TV. That's a problem. That's a problem. I mean like I think a lot of men are insecure and who I dealt with before you is before you. Before you. And if I'm telling you, hey listen, this is the person that this is who I used to deal with them just so you know if I ever see this person out, you, this is the person that, this is how I used to deal with them just so you know if I ever see this person out, you have the heads up.

You have the one-up. Instead of being like, oh, yeah, by the way, in the moment, then that's messed up. Yes, but it's embarrassed. I'm not, this is the thing. I'm not with them anymore. Exactly. For you.

They like, but you know, in some situations, it could be a baby daddy though. Now that's where it's like they gonna be around. Listen to that, it's different. But you and I don't have any kids, so we ain't that on the floor. Yeah, that's not me, man. But a lot of, I mean, especially I can imagine like, the type of man that you attract is enough to make anybody insecure.

You better have your boot strapped on tight, and you better have your confident person, because you are a catch. And you know what I'm saying? No, it's real though, because I've definitely had me and they either insecure about that, they asked me. And I, you know, you know how I like someone to be like, uh, three, it was like a number.

And like, if she say she only had six or four people, you know she's lying. There was like a meme that I saw that said that. But like you said, they still gonna hit it. Like they still wanna, it probably falls in love. I saw, I saw who was it? Who wrote a book? I don't wanna give them press.

But I remember someone wrote a book, and they were talking about the 11 guys that they had sex with. They had sex with it. And I was talking to my best friend, and she was like, I ain't even taking advice from a chick that only had sex with 11. She said 11 talking to my best friend, and she was like, I ain't even taking advice from a chick that only had sex with 11. She said 11, she said grow up.

Grow up. She said, I'm not even saying that. I'm not even that book. No, nothing in there for me. When she's like, call me when I'm not for a trip. I was crying. But I was just like, girl, you body counters just, like, what are we doing?

Yeah, and I feel like for women, we don't care. Like, we want somebody that's been experienced. Because you would hope that a man would want that too. So they could be like, hey, please, you know what I'm saying, you learn some things. I think it's the opposite. Like, man, if a girl has a low number, they're like, oh, yeah, then I can teach her some things.

I can do this and that. But if I'm running to a dude with a low number, oh, baby, it's been a block. Yeah. It's been a block in combat. It's something when you learn some things. Yeah, because I'm not a good teacher. Yeah, oh, I'm not.

Or not. It is hard to tell you what to do with all the other things. Because I'm had somebody like, we're gonna get personal. Like go down and like, it felt like they were fighting me. Ooh, girl. I had somebody not me now. They ate it with no tongue. I said, you know what, get out.

Get out! Like, it is hard to like test like, no, it is how you need to do it. Yeah. I need you to go and all some other people like to figure it out. No. No.

No. No. Like seriously, so I do, I feel like there is like a prior thing that you go thing for me and where they feel like you are more of a prize when you haven't had sex with as many men. And for me, I feel like that doesn't define the prize. It does not define it. Like there's so many work components that come into making me the woman that I am that's a gift to you and a blessing to you.

Talk about it. Then you know what I've done in my bed. You know? Yes. That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Is that the end of the day when you're with someone and you have a life partner? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Y'all might be having sex for a long time. But at some point, it's gonna, yo, stop. It's gonna stop. It's just gonna be you guys. Yes, what do you have after that?

There's been people that I've had slept with that I do not enjoy their company. You know what I'm saying? So it's like you around here thinking that I'm not a catch. I don't want you anyway. Period. You know what I'm saying? So it's like the person that I'm with now, like we have all the things.

You do, like I love. Thank you. Like I love you be able to six in the morning, bake a crock, make a cupcake, and bake a cake. No, it's not. It should be up. Around and it's up where around there.

Thank you. Yeah, it's like I love the balance that you have. You still getting it, you a go getter, you still have your career, but you are up, like making breakfast, making everything, what, juicing, giving everything. Fresh, fresh, clean.

And still twerking at their refrigerator. Oh yeah, but the thing is, it's like, the other people, they didn't get that side of me. So even though you might not be my first, you're my first in this space. Yeah. We're like, I never would like this. And there's not that I wasn't like that because I feel like, I feel like all women have

that side to them as just a man has to bring it out of them. Like the right guy has to bring it out of them. And if they want to be like that or whatever. But I was never like that with none of the other ones. Yeah. It's always that one that will bring like the wife out of it. Yeah, but I wanted to be, but either they didn't really accept it, it wasn't, it just didn't work.

Because that's the real thing. It is. I dated a guy who had mommy issues, and I'm very nurturing. So I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, let me pack your bag. Let me do this. He's like, don't touch my stuff. I can do it myself. And I'm just like, OK, strong, independent black man

who don't even know, no woman. Oh, my bad. But I realized, I felt like, oh, my gosh. who don't even know no woman. I was like, my bad, but I realized like I felt like, oh my gosh, like, where do I fit in? Yeah, because he didn't need that for me. I'm like, well, dang. Okay, that too. You know, and then, but I think that full circle moment, the reason why we date is because I really encouraged him to to mend that relationship with his mom.

I was like, you gotta talk to your mom. You have to tell her how you feel. You have to express to her that, like, you're not okay. And now you're, cause you're gonna continue to take it out on the women that come into your life and try to be like, not your mom, but like as a partner of, you know, when you're dating someone, you're kinda,

you might have a little motherly similarly. That's where you're like, I'm gonna hold you accountable. I'm gonna make sure you eat, or just whatever those things are, can seem motherly to some people. But if you've never had that, it's foreign to you. You think that I'm just being extra. You know what I mean?

Like you're doing too much. Yeah, and it just didn't, it just didn't work. But he recandled his relationship with his mom, and I'm happy that I was the reason for that. And then like, that's it. But I didn't get to be how I am in my relationship now with him. I was trying. Yeah. But it's like, it's funny because I was a deny and it was similar and it seems like any guy because I'm anybody who knows me knows that when I have a man, I'm a wife. I'm showing you what you

gonna get. Oh girl, you're a wife to your friend. Yeah, oh. Like, hello. Thank you. But like I tried to show them like this is what you're gonna get, you know? And a lot of them couldn't handle the warmth in the space to recognize it. And when we break up, years of past five, they're like, she's the one that got away. Child, I'm so tired of that. And I'm like, I know. Like, I'm so tired of that.

Like grow up, like you was, you just say I wasn't, I wasn't in enough, I wasn't ready. Would you spend the block? No, I never spend the block on those guys. No, because I'm like, you had me and you didn't appreciate it. You show me who you are. I'm good. Yeah, no. Really?

So you never had like your hymn? My hymn. Well, when I say like, oh, that's hymn. Like the first person that comes in mind Yeah, it somebody did come to mind and it was like a five-year off and on thing So I did so did like he was showing me that he wasn't ready But he would come back in and out of my life for five years and it was just like a maybe he's ready this time You know, maybe he's ready to receive what I have to give him and what I know I can offer

But yeah, we're, it's nothing now. I'm like, where you at? You're stupid. I was wrong with you. You know what's messed up? It's like guys like that were ruining it for the other ones too. Yeah. You know, I try not to do that though.

I've tried because I'm such a giver fan. I try not to allow the men who don't appreciate it, ruin my heart, or make me not want to give the next one. Because I'm going to run to somebody that's like, oh, I've got to lock this down. I cannot let this girl go. I've got to lock this down. Do you understand me?

What the what qualities are you looking for for somebody? For me, who would even be eligible to lock it down. You know, I always say like someone that's got here and someone who puts God first. I always say like someone that's Godfaring, someone who puts God first, always wants somebody that knows that when they see me, they gotta go to God to get to me. And what does that look like?

It looks like a premium. You have premiums, someone's in church, and they're in tension. You see it in their actions. Like you can tell, like this guy's moving with intention when it comes to me. He was saying in how he plans, which in how he leads his integrity,

how he treats people who can do nothing for him, and so many different things. How he treats his mother. Oh my God. Yeah, those are things that just get my attention. Yeah. No, I'm like, I love all those things. Those are things that turn me on and also intellect.

Like I'm really being intellect, you can, here you gotta get me here, I always say that. Yeah, you're not getting in the panic as if you can't get in my head. Yeah, and then you can get in my head too quickly. Ah! No, that's a real pain. You know what I'm saying,

but you have to, like, I have to be mentally stimulated. And you know, it's funny because, like, I think, I don't wanna say a lot of women, but this Gen Z group of women that we have now, it's very much like, I'm gonna sleep who I want, I'm gonna do whatever I want, but it's like you're not really being mentally simulated, it's more like, oh I like this guy, I'm gonna screw him, or do whatever it is, but it's like, and I feel like, I don't want to say I was that girl, but I used to be sexually free, like definitely

lit ho face. Yeah, don't we talk about it because me too, I had a ho face in college. Yes, but I used to be sexually free, like definitely lit ho-face. Yeah. Don't we talk about it? Because me too, I had a ho-face in college. Yes. But listen, I had an amazing ho-face, but I remember when I was mentally stimulated by someone that I never slept with. Yep.

And I wrote a poem about it. And I wrote a poem. What is this? Yeah, I wrote a poem about it. Really? I didn't know how to express myself. I was like, we would talk for hours super intellectual, right? And we would spend all this time together. We were just sitting in a car and we would just talk, but like, we would talk for our super intellectual, right? And we would spend all this time together,

we were just sitting in the car and we would just talk, but like, I was mentally stimulated. And I was like, wait, is he having sex with my mind right now? Yes. And we never had sex. And you know what I mean? That's beautiful. So it's crazy how like, some people don't even experience that.

Yeah, they don't. And when you can get both, it's like, I'm like, and you down. Oh, hello. Listen, I remember I was in college, and I think definitely I wasn't fully mentally developed, even sexually developed. I was raised in a strict home, do not have sex,

you know the church, you know, and my mom always used to say to me, getting pregnant isn't the worst thing that could happen. Cause that was insane, like AIDS and DIP, and STDs, and I was like, okay, so I always had it in the back of my mom, but like they instilled the fear of God in me, so I was always scared and I got to college.

I was at Shelter Little Girl and she was free. Baby, I was running rampant on that campus. And I had a little boyfriend and he was at another school in Nashville which was like three hours away and I ended up talking to the star basketball team, the star of the basketball team and he got all the girls wanting him but I had him and then I found out that he was screwing every girl on campus and it broke my heart and it was something in that moment where I was like if you can do that then I'm gonna do it. And I just like and that was my I feel like sexually liberated phase in my life

where I was like no so I'm gonna go talk to your friend so you can see how it feels and not knowing that every time I did that I wasn't privy to the soul ties, the damage that I was doing. And it was something I had to grow. I learned, it didn't last long because it was causing confusion within my own spirit. And I was like, what are you doing? First of all, he's not worth it. These other men ain't worth it.

Nobody's, and it would be the ones that I could just sit down and at the foot of their bed and they would really give me good advice that I tended to just draw near to and that put in, that reminded me that it crystal like you're worth more than it is. Like you don't have to do that, you know? You know what's interesting? I was having a conversation with somebody

and they were talking about how women are naturally monogamous. And that when women step out in their relationship, it's not revenge, but they retaliate. It was a retaliation. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, like you said, I want you to feel what I'm feeling. But men are wired completely different. We can love you to death, sleep with this one over here, and come back to you, and not even think about her tomorrow.

Literally. And it's like, it took a long time for me to realize that that because even like having conversations with my dad now that I'm older He's like that's how men are wired. Yeah, and it's interesting that that was your sexual liberation Which it harmed you in a way because it was like you weren't really that girl No, you know what I'm saying? So for me like the way I started my whole phase was like I was sexually abused Yeah, not by any family and relatives or anybody Yeah, but like I was I had Oh my gosh. Yeah, not by any family or relatives or anybody.

But like, I was, I had older boyfriends. And I was really young and I was always that girl who older guys liked. And I used to think like, oh, it's because, you know, I'm grown. And this is nice. Like, no, you're young. And you're easy to manipulate. And you know what I mean? And I had daddy issues growing up.

We're like, my dad. And like, I have a great relationship with my dad now. But my dad wasn't raised in love. He was raised from survival. So like when he had daughters, he was just trying to survive and make a way for them. It was never like, he never was like, oh, Jazz, you're doing so great.

I love you and so proud of you. Nowadays, he's like my number one fan, but I had to tell him like, this is how I received love. But back then, it was just like, you have a roof over your head. How do you not think I don't love you? But I had to tell him like this is how I received love. But back then it was just like, you have a roof over your head. How do you not think I don't love you?

Or like you have, I got to a car at 16. How do you not, how do you don't, how come you don't feel love? But for me, I'm like words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, all the things. And my mom was all those things. So like I was closer to my mother because she spoke my love language. And it took time. So it was like, okay, I never had anyone to tell me I was beautiful

or by me flower. So the first person that did it. I'm like, I'll give you everything you know what I mean? So I found myself down this really dark path of just wanting to feel validated. So it was this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy. You know, the list goes on and then they were all older than me. You know what I mean?

And I was even in a situation where I dated a guy, and in that sense, like when I thought about it, I was like, yo, this nigga was like my pin. Wow. Yeah, so I was just like, I loved him. Why did I love him, girl? I thought I loved him. You thought he was your brainwashed, right? I was brainw, I loved him. Why I love him, girl. I thought I loved him. You thought she was your brainwashed son.

I was brainwashed because he was doing all the things, you know? And then I realized that he was like, he wasn't very kind to me. He didn't have me in the best situation. He was. He wasn't considerate of my feelings. And this was like early on. I probably, he was probably like the third person I had sex with. Because I remember, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend and then I had a random encounter.

And then he was like the third guy that I met. And then it was like from there, I don't want to say I learned everything from him, but it was like, it was abuse though. And then prior to him, after him, I still dated older guys. So it was like, it just, it didn't stop. It didn't stop. Yeah. It's a cycle. It was a vicious cycle. And then so now to be in a situation where like, oh my gosh, don't, don't do it. Yes. Let it go. It's fine. But to now and to, uh, uh, it's the clinics in my bedroom. Now, just in case. Now to be in a situation in a relationship now

where I am loved, you know, and I feel that, and I know what it's like for, for somebody to really love you and care for you and to show you that they care and to be honest with you. Yes, yes. You know what I mean? And tell me like, babe, like, that wasn't love. And I'm like, yes, it was.

They were like this. He's like, no, that's not it. And we would bump heads a lot because he would keep a real with me and be like, and be like, I know that you love this person, but that was not love. I'm telling you that's not love. Wow.

You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Hopefully I don't need them. Yeah, we'll just keep them in just in case. But yeah, so I just found myself just going on and on. And that's why it's like body count. Yeah, man, give it a life. Yes, and then on top of that, it's like, are we naming every person that's entered us?

Are we, are we naming everyone that we were connected to? Wow. You know what I'm saying? Because like, yeah, I got baddies. But like, they didn't care about me. I didn't care about them. Yeah. There was no connection there.

You know, so it's like the ones that count, those are the ones that count. Counts, you know what I mean? When was the like, because I love that story, and we all, every woman has their own walk, and I feel like they all have a phase like that at some point in their life.

What was the point where you felt like this is real love? Is it the situation you and I, or is there another point where you like, this is the first time Is it the situation you and I was at another point where you like, this is the first time I felt this is love. Somebody really cares about me and that you were exposed to that. Well, I think I've always been a lover. So even with all the abuse and all the things, like I still wanted love, I was like, you know,

the movie Pursuita Happen, it was my pursuit of love. Like I was just looking for that thing. So I fell in love with a guy, probably like 17, 18 years old. Awful. That was my first love. Broke my heart. I was still on the prowl. Like still looking.

I would get myself time and then I would go back out there again. You know, so I've been in relationships where I've loved people. And they didn't always love me back the way I love. I feel like I always love the person more. Me too. Yeah, I'm like me too. You know, when I say it the way I love. I feel like I always love the person more. Me too. Yeah, I'm like me too. You know, when I say it to my guy now, I'm like, I just love you more.

He was like, you can't, you don't know that. You can't say that. You know, but I feel like the way my efforts are set up and the way I am, it feels like I do. I love you more. But it's like, that doesn't mean that I actually do. You know what I mean? And men are so like, it's very rare if you get someone

who is like, who can wholeheart I mean? And men are so like, it's very rare if you get someone who can wholeheartedly just be vulnerable and tell you like, I love, you know, when I see you in the morning, I feel tingly. Like they not gonna say that. And they probably do feel it, but they just, they don't have to say it. Yeah, because it's like, they're not wired that way.

So what I learned from my dad is love languages, and showing love come in other ways than the way I want. So it's like the way I receive is obviously physical time, words of affirmation, touch, and all that stuff. But some people, their love is like, I got you your favorite snack at the gas station on my way back.

Gifts. Yeah, or just acts of service gifts or whatever, just like being thoughtful. Be like, you know, baking me cookies, or just things that I like, or whatever that is. It's like, it's not always like, crystal, I love you so much. You're so amazing.

Yes. It's not always like that. It's just like, I might have stopped up your fridge. Right. Or just, I see a need and I need it. Or the things that you don't even have to ask me for. You know, so just having an open mind of like, there's other ways to receive love.

But some people are so stubborn and it's like, wave and I ain't how I wanna, I don't hate how I need not do it. You know what I mean? That's real. I see that a lot. Okay, so I touched on how I felt about sex and how I was raised with very strict parents. The fear of God in me like I couldn't date until I was 16. I

didn't lose my virginity until I was in college. Wow. Oh yeah I was scared. I was scared, but that's when I just went wow. I I was like, I was like, I got dressed on today. So I just fell back with my legs. Right, that was me. What was it like with your childhood, and how did you look at sex before you started having sex? You know, I also grew up in church. You know, and it was all like abstinence with everywhere.

Everywhere, but it's like when they tell you not to all like, abstinence with everywhere, everywhere. But it's like, when they tell you not to do something, you're kind of curious about it. And then my sister, she was like, I was always cute. But all the men wanted my sister. You know what I mean? So my sister was like, she was a girl. Thank you.

She was dating our neighbor from across the street. I had a crush on. And she started, street. I had a crush on. And she started, nothing I had a crush on. It's like, all the guys I liked, she got. And I'm just like, you know, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Marcia, Marcia. But then like, I noticed she was different

after she started having sex. Oh, what did she notice? Like, what was the, as a little sister looking at her like? Yeah, like, she just was more like, to me, I was like, whoa, like she's grown up. And I think that I wanted to be grown, because I wanted people to stop saying that I was cute. I wanted people to say like, you're sexy.

And I don't know why I wanted to be sexy at like 10, but I wanted to be sexy. Like my oldest sister was very sexy. And she would bring her boyfriend's about how, I like everybody's boyfriend. My sister's, I'd be like, Like, my oldest sister was very sexy. And she would bring her boyfriend's about to have, I like everybody's boyfriend. My sister's, I'd be like, no, I love him. She's like, yes, stop.

I used to be a level all my sister's. That is what my sister is. And like, nobody ever looked at me like that. And I just was like, you know, I started wearing like all the little, you know, the little, I'm from Florida. So we had, so are the way us ratchet girls would dress It was like it was like ratchet mix with Chonda Like we were like we were like the little spandex little bell bottom pants dark lip liner the wet

And then but I might have a six piece of girl to the on the bottom like like so It was just you know but I always wore like a little something tight or whatever just because I wanted people to like look at it I didn't want to be cute and sexy you know and I was like saying my sister like she was just starting to look sexy to

me yeah you like that you like yeah but it wasn't like I was pressed to lose my virginity I was fine with getting finger popped like I was like hey lose my virginity. I was fine with getting finger popped Like I was like, hey, this is alright with me. It's like I didn't I know it's so funny Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm saying this out loud. I used to date this guy I remember saying to him Because I was a virgin and I was just letting him finger me and I remember saying to him like I want you

And I would just let him finger me. And I remember saying to him, like, I want you to do anything to make me say yes, like to have sex with him. And then when I say, if you can get me to say yes, tell me no and see how I react. Oh, wow. Because I went out over you when you said this to me. Girl, all of what?

15 years old. You know what I'm saying? Because I remember like, I wanted to know what, like, that feeling of like, you gotta get, no, you have to. No, please do it. I wanted to know what that feeling was. You know, he never did it though. He never did it.

I want you to do anything. Yeah, I know. I was like, what? Like, why are you even talking like this? Like, watch it. And then tell me now. Yeah, he's like, why would I tell you no? This is the moment I'm in the waiting room.

Wait, wait, wait. You know. He's never like, what? But it's just like, girl, come here. But it's like, I remember like, I was getting a finger all the time. So I was like a finger hope before I started having sex. Like I was sneak out of the house, go down to the park.

And I would get picked up and I would go to the park. And I remember like buying cute little underwear from wet seal and stuff. Yes. I remember my buying like cute little underwears from like wet ceiling stuff. I remember my first song was my mom's like she forgot it in the dryer and I saw it in there and I took it out and I had that one thong and I just kept rewashing it. I just washed it was washing the middle out. I can't be wearing it just washing out the middle and it it was a purple sign. Sorry. It was my only thought.

I wasn't a lot of worth though. I wasn't either. I was actually like, my mom did not. I couldn't wear a thong until I got out of the house. Yeah, so that's why I kept washing it out. Oh my goodness. I couldn't put it in regular laundry. I didn't hand wash them every day.

And when I left them air dry, like, under flat under my pillow and just put my pillow down, girl. Kuchisma like, mail dude, I should ain't dry. I know. But like I wanted to be sexy so like when I started having sex, I thought I was gonna feel like mail dude. You don't let it dry all the way. Yeah, it's probably some where some people like

like they're closing the watcher scenes or yeah. Yeah, and then try to throw the dry and slide. And then the people who act like they don't, they're closing the washers things or yeah, and then child throws and dry and slide. And then the people who act like they can't smell it. Like, that makes me mad. I'd be like, you know, smell the truck clothes that you're sitting in that wash machine for three days. You go, you still gonna put them in the dry? I was like, I don't know this.

No, that's what I'm saying. Listen, I don't know. She, and I remember like, I was in high school. And I had lost my virginity or no I didn't. No I was a virgin at the time and it was a guy I was dating because I had so many like little here and there boyfriends and we said we were gonna be each other's first like you know and I remember like him going down a man it was like so bad and I never had it done before so I didn't know but I remember it was like so bad. And I never had it done before, so I didn't know.

But I remember it just being so bad. So I feel like a part of me was like the quest to find like why is everybody like sex so much? Like when is it gonna feel good to me? Like what? Yeah, because it doesn't in the beginning. Like what is it? Yeah, it is like what everybody likes it.

What is that? So part of me was like, okay, I'm on the quest to see, you know, when is it gonna feel good? Because even in my abusive relationship, like, I feel like, I don't even know if I really enjoyed it. I feel like it was more like, I was so into him, it was like whatever he wanted, you know what I mean? But it was never, but when I got with someone

who made it all about me, it was like, oh, this is different. This is different. Yeah, yeah. When it was the first when I got with someone who made it all about me. It was like, oh, this is different. This is different. Yeah. Yeah. When it was the first time you felt it, like, or somebody like, what age were you when somebody finally came around and it made you, it felt like it was just about you.

Oh my gosh. It's like, stop me, me, me. Yeah, I was on the cheerleading team at my school. And one of my cheer, like one of my like, um, my gosh, what do we call each other? Squad members, squad members. Yeah, like, I was at cheer, my gosh, why do we call each other? Squad members? Squad members.

Yeah, like, she had a, yes. She, her brother-in-law, her brother and not her god brother. Her god brother, we used to do car washes for donations so we can raise money for camera those days. No, hey, nothing, but they just out there soliciting us. Anyways, I was on the median, like, kind of, and he had Kinga, and he had came by.

And he would every now and then just pull up and pick her up from school and stuff, and I'd be like, who is that? But obviously he was way older than me. And I remember, I remember, like, he had came by, and he was like, you know, like car wash donation. He was like, not only in my car wash, but he had took some money, and he had like put it in like my bathing suit top

or something like that. Kind of get into it though. Yes, and I was just like, oh my gosh. And I remember he had a dodge neon. I remember. It was like a slate blue dodge neon in his, and in his rearview mirror he had handcuffs. And I was like, oh my gosh, like he's freaking the morning. Yeah, I'm freaking the morning.

Whoa. Just like me. No, I didn't know. I didn't know at the time. I was like, whoa. And I remember like, I don't know, not telling my friends that I liked it. And I don't even know how we even connected,

but we ended up connecting somehow. And he was like the first guy that like, you know, did all the thing. I was just like, whoa. So I would like, but I never wanted to be a girlfriend. It was just like, no, I like that thing. I rather just have sex with you. I don't really want to get to know you.

Did that hurt him or was he? Yeah. Because men get hurt too. You know what I'm saying? Men are like, what do you mean? You don't want what's he saying. Because men get hurt too. You know what I'm saying? Men or like, wait, what do you mean? You don't want to be my girl. When they're hurt, it hurts worse. Because they're so used to being so strong and prideful.

That when somebody penetrates through that system it's like, whoa. I let you in and then you hurt me. So it's like, I only liked you for this thing. Oh yeah. And then it's like, you would invite me to go eat or do all the things. I'm like, I only liked you for this thing. Oh yeah. And then it's like, he would invite me to go eat or do all the things. I'm like, I don't want to.

Which is kind of, that's messed up. Because he was a really nice guy. He was a nice guy. And that's how I feel like some men get ruined. I'm not saying that you ruined him, but I ruined him. I would say it. Yeah, when they're into a woman,

sometimes they don't get the outcome they want, especially when they pour into you. Oh yeah. The next woman is gonna say it. You have a nerd into a woman. Sometimes they don't get the outcome they want, especially when they pour into you. Oh yeah. The next woman is gonna get it. It is like, oh yeah. That's the fact. And that happens to a woman too. Because they can definitely ruin a good woman.

Yeah, like, you know what? I'm not necessarily as mean as anybody else. I'm straight. What's the way someone can ruin you? I feel like with you, if they ruin your trust. Oh, definitely. Then everything else is. Yeah, I'm super big on trust. You can tell. I mean, I had to fire someone because of trust. I can deal with a lot of things, but if you lie to me, then I can't trust you. Can you handle the truth? Absolutely. Yeah, just let me know what it is.

Yeah. But give me the respect to tell me this truth, so I can make a decision versus lines me, and then let me find out the truth. Yeah. And then you put me at risk. Yeah. Like, I was like, it's too much. I think that, and I think it's dope that you can handle truth, because I think that a lot of women ask for that.

And they can't handle that. They can't handle that. So then it's like men are like, OK, if this is what you want, I'll give you that. And then they do it, and it's like, it's not a safe space. You know what I mean? Like you tell me this is what you want. I'll give you to deny your mad.

I'm being honest. And it's like, see, this is why I don't say anything. Yep. So it's like, and I feel like that's another reason why a lot of men, they're not vulnerable. They're not. Because it's like, I tried to do this and you did this. So it's like, and it's not worth the risk of you leaving.

So I'm just not gonna, I'm just gonna go back over here. I'm not gonna say nothing anymore. It's like, tell me the truth, tell me the truth. It's like, I'm not gonna tell you the truth so you can crucify me. I'm telling you the truth because I owe you that respect. Right.

But I think that there is that like gray area, people are like, tell me the truth, I can handle it. And it's like, no, baby, you can't. Yeah. I'm asking that man for the truth. You can't handle it. For real, don't do that. Another question.

At what point did you realize, kind of for me, we were both raised in a society where like, what you want to do, another woman will. You better, everything is so sexually driven like, you better be sucking, you better be, you better do it, all the things. Yeah. Because that's what your man needs.

At what point were, because I know for me, it was a point in my life where I realized sex wasn't everything. And that I was giving way too much of my soul to people who didn't deserve it. At what point were you like, you know what? I got to switch some things up. Like, I'm giving and just giving my body away.

Yeah. Add into the body count. Yeah. And it's not being appreciated or reciprocated in the way that it's feeding my soul. At what point, was there a revelation where you're like, okay, yeah, I got to switch some things up so so I can get the type of little that I want. You know, it's funny because I think that like, when I was younger, everybody just wanted sex from me,

everyone. So like, I did it. So in my mind, I thought that that's just what you want. I didn't have to do anything else. You know, so it wasn't until I started dating this guy, he was a songwriter. And I remember- So rare is just so romantic. They really are. Yeah, they really are. You know, so it wasn't until I started dating this guy. He was a songwriter and And I was just so romantic. They really are. Yeah, they really are

And I remember like doing all the sexual things and him being like, you know, it's just not Always about that and I was just thinking like oh my gosh. What else is there to do? Because I thought this is what keeps you, because that's what we're taught. Yeah. And then- And then- And then- And then-

And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then-

And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then-

And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- And then- They look like a lot of men look at them like their eye objects So they they do all the things to appeal to the to the baller or whatever Yeah, and then it's like even after all that they still don't want you in your life What else do I really have and that was me then and I didn't know until a man told me yeah I saw somebody that said um they said stop taking advice from men from women. You need to talk to men about men But then I also feel like there's levels to a man. I can't just thought everybody would win.

You know what I mean? You got to, there's a certain 10%. Yes. You know that certain caliber man, you need to get advice from. Exactly, but they're like with women, it's like everything is off of their experience. It's like you're not a man, right?

It's like stop taking advice from women about men. But I know that in that situation, my advice was from him. It was just like, everything is not always about sex. Yeah. And I remember it was fourth of July girl. I was so embarrassed. His best friend was dating one of my friends.

And I remember it was like, oh yeah, we were free at night and woof, what is that? And like, we were barbecuing. And I went and made myself a plate and just sat down. And he was just like, what? Damn, like, he was crazy. He was like, you not even going to fix my play. I played, yeah.

And I was like, oh, I didn't know. Yeah, wow. And he was like, no, no, no, don't worry about it. And I was just like, I didn't know that. Are you okay? Yeah, but I felt bad, though, because I'm like, I thought we were fine. Like, I probably gave you hell on them right here.

Right. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, no. And I think his issue with me was the fact that I was a hoe. So this is like, don't you do anything else? Yeah. But that's all you know, that's what you lead with. Yeah.

And it was just like, it was like, oh my gosh. I had an aha moment. Where it was like, oh my gosh, like there has to be more. And it wasn't that I wasn't that because my mother has always been like the super submissive. Food was always on the table, clean house, kids are bathed the whole night. You know what I'm saying? So it wasn't that I didn't grow up seeing that, but it was just that that's not what

I thought man wanted. So I never led with that. that. That's not what I thought man wanted. Wow. So I never led with it. Yes, that's so good. And I feel like our society and influences had a lot to do with it. Because I thought the same thing. I thought that's all they wanted was six. And I thought that was the way to keep a man.

Yes. I did. Yeah. And I was like, I got to have to, and that's when I started watching porn to try to figure out new tricks and other things to do because I was sheltered. I didn't know what to do.

So I was like, why gotta figure out some new things? Or when you watch and you're like, they can do that. Right. You're like, I don't know if I can do that. You're like, oh no. It's like, if it's an easy place to go to be intimidated. Very much. Especially if you're young and you're just, you got a new boyfriend and it's like,

first of all, why are you trying to swing from the chandelier? Ma'am. You know what I was saying? Why are you doing all of that? Why are you doing all of it? But it's crazy because like, everything that I was taught was just wrong. So it's like having to unlearn things now

that I'm in my 30s. Like, I have to unlearn that, because this was unhealthy, and that doesn't work with this new one. It doesn't. You know what I mean? Are you trying to go in with like, okay, why have they did all these people?

And I have all the things. But it's just like, throw them out. Keep your three things, and everything is not sex. Obviously, like, men or hunters, like they need it, right? They do. But that, like you said, that's not what's gonna keep them. So it's like, body can't hide, load, whatever.

I think it's old to the person that you're with. Because it's like you can be a girl who's only has sex with one guy. And that one guy had you upside down over the air, flipped you all the house, you all these things, you only know one person and then you can have a girl who's only had sex with five people once. Yeah. So it's like who has more? Exactly.

Which one is more of a, I don't want to say hoe. Yeah. But it's a hoe like the amount of people or the things that you've done. Exactly. Right. Because that's a question too. Like, what is a hoe? Like, is it the amount of people you've had sex with or what you do with the people?

And I think society looks at a hoe as like, or you know what I'm saying, they've made it where it's the amount of people you've been with. True. Right. But men can go do everything and they're not a hoe. They're just being a man. Yeah, they're just being a man.

Women aren't supposed to, but why? Why? Why? I know why. We're human too. We. Yeah, they're just being a man. Women aren't supposed to, but why? Why? Why? I know why. We're human too. We have feelings, we have emotions, we have urges. Yeah, but they say women don't, we're not built like that.

We're not built. We're emotional creatures. Yeah, so it's like if we find one good one, we like that one. That's all we want. You know, but sometimes it's five different ones, and you like one thing from all of them. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

That's real. It is real. So it's like you, I think that the girls who are being labeled as hos are the ones who are like openly like, you know, doing the trips and doing all this and taking this and that and they're very upfront about what, but it's like, but why? Mm-hmm. Why does that make her a ho?

Yeah. She's doing what she wants to do. So it makes her a ho because she's getting flued out and she's accepting gifts and trips. They offer that. So it's like, so you mean to tell me a hoe is somebody who ain't got no discernment? Right. Right. So it's like, okay, I take the trip from one guy. But what if all of them, this one taking you to the Mountives, that one taking you to Dubai, you ain't never been know what you want to go.

And I've been there. So it's like, I didn't got flued out. Yeah, I'm saying. But it's like, doubt. I've been out, flew it out. Yeah, I'm safe. But it's like, is a whole, the lack of discernment. Wow. You know what I'm saying? Or is it sexual liberation to say, I'm going to do whatever I want, and why do you care? Or is it because nothing's private anymore? It's definitely because nothing.

That's a good, nothing is private anymore. Right. But I do feel like we are getting to a place in society where sexual liberation is more accepted than it used to be. And women are more free with saying, yes, I love to have sex. I love to have sex with different men. They're very comfortable with coming out

about that word before. And you're like, I don't wanna talk about that. I'm like, you know what I'm doing? They gonna leave me a hoe. Women don't care anymore. They really don't. Because you know why? I think that for a long time, women tried to do the things.

And if that didn't work, I'm gonna go do what I wanna do now. You get to a point where you're like, I'm gonna do what I wanna do. Yeah, because it's like, okay, you guys, you want me to, you ever saw that video it was like, I could like a lady, don't do this, don't eat this, don't cross your legs, and you sit down, Don't wear short skirts

That's that's gonna entice men. We're long dresses do this and it's just like what and it's literally picking us apart so it's like if and you know I know that there's a saying that says Before you look outward go inward, you know what I mean? Cuz like I could be doing all the things and I still haven't found my person, or whatever, so now I'm gonna go be free or whatever. And I feel like this is the most honest I have ever been in a relationship, and this is the most loved I've ever felt in a relationship.

I love this. You know what I mean? And it's just like, he knows. He's like, we're two retired thoughts that found love. You know what I'm saying? Because there's also space for that. So body count, at least in my relationship, that don't matter to us.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not surprised. And then I tell him, but we share stories. I'm like, oh my God, baby, this is one time. What are you doing? He was so musty, his ball, my self-unkey. Maybe like, God.

Maybe like, what? Man, that's crazy. And he was like, oh, I remember one time, I was hitting, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I's just like, I remember having to like, you're not say too much or not, whatever in my relationship. I was scared too, because you guys are gonna run them away or they'd be like, yeah. But at the end of the day,

you lying about your truth, doesn't make you an honest person. Wow. You know what I'm saying? That's a nugget. You lying about your truth does not make you an honest person. That's good.

Yeah, because it's like, okay, I'm in this relationship and I'm lying about all the men that I've had sex with. So he thinks I'm not making you an honest person, that's good. Yeah, because it's like, okay, I'm in this relationship and I'm lying about all the men that I've had sex with so he thinks I'm whole. Yeah. But that doesn't define my wholeness. Exactly, and that doesn't make me like worthy or an honest person or whatever.

It's just like, I'm lying to you to, you know, but I'm still that person. I still have all that baggage. I still have all those vibes. And it's major who you are today. Yes, you're welcome. You like that thing that I did? And you know what I'm saying?

Like, you ain't going anywhere I got it from? Yeah. Please let me see what I got it from. Gosh, right? But this is like, I have to like dim my whole life to make you feel comfortable. Wow. I'm not dimming my whole life.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like I'm grown. I'm grown. And the great part for me is the fact that it was prior social media. So that was your word against mine. Period.

Then I could lie. Right. You know what I'm saying? But I think people just put so much on a body count as if that makes you whole summer now. And that's not fair. That's not fair. True.

I don't want no house or man. And I don't want no body count man. I don't either. I don't want to say I want whipped jambalant now. But you know what I mean? Yes. I love that you are walking the truth. Thank you. And I feel like that is why you are in the space

that you are in your life. And I feel like if more people just own who they are, the mistakes they've made, I think other people would be more willing to receive it. And you'd be really surprised when you walk in your light and say, hey, this is what I've done. Who I've been, you know, say people that you trust. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

But like, own it and not try to act like you're something that you're not. One, you're going to be more relatable to a lot of people because a lot of people are walking. They're literally walking under a costume. But that they're not. They have a mask on. They're not being true to themselves.

And wondering why they haven't. You know what I'm saying? Got them further because you're not being honest with who you are. People need to see the real you, you know? So I love that. I love that you're walking in truth and I love that you found love. Thank you.

And then, yeah, I know it's hard on you. I know. So let's talk about the journey that you realized. Because you've made a comment about, you felt like sex was all you had to offer. And that's all they wanted. At what point, what was the journey like, where you realize, hey, maybe there are things that, besides, you talked about how the guy,

you went to the cookout and I said that and he's like, you do know there's more than six. Tarynette chicken up in the face. He's like, uh, we're mine. Right. At what point, was that a pivotal point? And like, at what point did you realize, okay, and what was Right. At what point was that a pivotal point in what point did you realize? Okay. And what was that journey like to you realizing I've got to do more than just get my body.

Yeah. So, okay. So I remember, like I said, I grew up seeing that. So it's not that I didn't know. But I just didn't think that's what they wanted. So I had that epiphany. Not epiphany. I had that come to Jesus moment with my boyfriend at the time.

And then I found myself trying to just do a little bit more. But I'll never forget I was dating this guy. It's always I was dating this guy. Yeah, there's guy. And he didn't have any food in his fridge. And he had like just moved to the city and I was like, okay, he was there for like only a little bit. He was like playing basketball.

And I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to the grocery store and stock his fridge up. And I remember going to the grocery store like in the blazing heat and going and like had a cart and I went, I even took the cart back from the store and and lugged it all the way to the house. And it was like, this is before Uber and all of that. So like, I'm on two feet.

Would they call it Tom and Jerry? I'm on two feet. What are you calling a commentary? I'm on literally. Yeah, like I'm literally walking in the blazing heat, pushing a freaking grocery cart from Walmart, like Amber, I have pots and pans, towels, boo. Like you are me and all of you. I'm the same with all the things, right? Cause I don't want you to ask me

if I see anything you're done with some do it. So I did all the stuff and I remember, I remember like, I didn't know. I was trying to just do laundry. I remember washing the white towels and the black towels together. And they were new. So you know the white towels turn gray.

Yeah, they turn gray. And I was like, oh man, like I really was trying to do all the things. And all I wanted us to do was just sit down and have dinner together. But he just, he was just acting funny. And I was like, what man, I really was trying to do all the things. And all I wanted us to do was just sit down and have dinner together, but he was just acting funny. And I was like, what's wrong with you? I was like, I saw that you didn't have other stuff.

I went to the store and I got you all these things. And blah, blah, blah, blah. He was like, I didn't ask you to do that. Wow. I didn't ask you to do that. That's like a slap in the face. Right, and I'm just like, but in my mind, it's like, what you needed it.

But with him, he didn't have mommy issues. He was the type that was like, I don't want my woman doing that. Wow. So it's like, if I can't do it and you do it, you make me look like I'm less of a man. Wow. Because I should have been the one

to fill that friendship before you got here. I didn't have been the one to fill that fridge before you got here. I didn't have a chance to do it. I didn't express that to you. Because if he had, I would have waited till he got down with practice. We could have went to the grocery store. You know what I'm saying?

But me just being, I'm a forward thinker. Like, before, you know, like my guy has to do anything, I'm always like, okay, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna make sure he has this. Oh, and he's gonna need this. He's gonna pack him a snack. Like all the things, I think, before you can even, hey, where's my, it's in there.

It's in there, it's already in the car, ready? And that's just, that's what works for me. I like to be on top of things. Especially in my relationship. Which is crazy, because I'm like, I've had that same energy in my life. Man. Anywho, bring me back.

I'll help a part too. No, but I thought he was mad at me, like, but it was really that, like, I made him feel bad. Yeah. And he didn't really know how to deal with feeling like that. He was like, he felt, yeah. Yeah. And it wasn't a real thing.

He didn't appreciate it, but it was like, it really highlighted what he didn't have together before I came in town. Yeah, and that was the thing, he's like, I didn't have together before I came in town. Yeah, and that was the thing, he's like, I didn't have time and I should have. Yeah. You've done it now, I feel bad because I didn't do it. Yeah, but it's like, just be like,

he could have just been like, the hands, baby. Thank you. Something had so much going on. I had so much going on. I promised you it was on my mind. I hate that you had to do that, but I'm so grateful. You know, they wasn't talking like that then. The redemption, I'm talking like that now.

They're not. It's hard for people to really express themselves like that, especially like when you come into a person's life and you're doing something that they never experienced, they don't know how to handle it. They don't know what to do. I say, thank you, do I eat your pussy? Yeah, like, I don't know what to do.

Right. You know what I mean? And I think that with men, at least with the men that I've dealt with, who have had these kind of conversations with, it's always like, I don't know how to say, you're not taught to say, I don't know how to do this, something. You're always taught to just figure it out. But in the situation where you might have to say,

I dropped the ball, you have to have accountability or say, I honestly just didn't know. You don't know how to do that, because you, I honestly just didn't know. You don't know how to do that because you weren't taught how to do that. Exactly. You know what I was saying? So for me, it was like, okay, the body stuff didn't work. And then I try to be thoughtful, that didn't work. And it's just like, dumb to laugh. Yeah.

You know, it's like, it's there. Like, I want it. I feel like I wanted to be that person for somebody. Especially once I got the game from him saying, it's not all about that. I tried to like, I still led with that in a lot of ways, but then I tried to be like, okay, I'm gonna lead with this so they can know I'm like this. And then I got, I'm like, I'm really gonna kill it when I come to the domestic side.

Yeah, but not everybody. You know, like I dated a guy who never wanted me to make the bed. He's like, that's amazing, dude. What do you know, like I dated a guy who never wanted me to make the bed He's like, that's a maze to you What do you have a mate? Did he have a mate? It was a zon team She can't even clean that Not the aunty

But you know, so like it's just different. It's like not everybody wants you It's like they want you to be domesticated, but they don't want, but it's like levels to it. It is. Like there's different levels with different men. Yeah, he's like, I don't want you doing this. That's peasantry. Is it though? Just picking up groceries.

There's some guys who are just like, I don't want you to lift a finger. And then there's other ones who are like, oh, thank you so much for going to public TV. I didn't have time. You know what I mean? And I think that my guy now is like, he just, Oh, thank you so much for going to public TV. I didn't have time. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I think that my guy now is like, he just, he just, not, that's the word I'm looking for. Except everything, like, oh man, you ain't got this.

Oh man, you got that. Oh, yes. Yeah. That makes you feel good. Yeah. Because you feel appreciated for your efforts. Yes. I love you.

But it was definitely a journey trying to figure that out. makes you feel good because you feel appreciated for your efforts. Yes, I love that. But it was definitely a journey trying to figure that out, but I think it's each person. Yeah, because you see, like, you've named different standards and different man-hands. Like, one guy didn't want you to live in the finger, other person was like, don't do this. And even in, like, my sex life, it's like, okay, like, you know, as a former hoe, like, I have, I don't love how she says, as a former hoe. As a former hoe, like, you know, like, it's 2023, so I'm only got one body now. But it's right, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, you're new week.

You know, you're new she. But like, even trying to like navigate, like, you can't go in there and thinking that everybody's gonna like one thing You know what I'm saying? It's like okay, you gotta keep them satisfied you gotta do all this but it's just like You do this. Oh, he don't like that. Then you gotta do this and but oh that one like this but this one did And you're just like and then it's just like you know, I'm just gonna save this for my husband because this is just you This is just getting too ghetto It's kinda well here Yeah, it's get told

You know, let's talk about sexual health. Mm-hmm. I know for me I've definitely had I protected sex like I'm gonna say I'm like I've only used Yeah, yeah, yeah, would you see the episodes you're doing what I'm talking? But I have I've had I've had I'm protected sex and like I told you my mother would always say getting pregnant Not the worst thing that can happen and I used to always be afraid of that but Men would they always like really feels better without a condom so like I knew I was supposed to use an a condom And I wasn't like let me see your

Your examination papers and your tests and make sure that you're negative on everything until I got older. You know, it wasn't until I got older, more responsible, and just understanding that that health literally affects all the other health that you have on an inside your body, and the things that people can like, give, take from one person and give to you. Has there ever been a situation

where you had like any scares or any like where you decided you know what like I got it more careful because you know I know we had moments in our life where we just free we want to whatever I mean once this we want to do you know if it's more comfortable and it's more comfortable for us too. Like for me like condoms they I have to use certain types of condoms because it just does not agree with me. Like it's like, yeah, like dries up and like. You allergic to late 10.

Yeah, like it's bad. I say, hey, when people say bad, I don't know. I really just want to do it around. But not really, I know. No, wait, so what kind of lamp? Lamb, how do you use lamb skin? No way, so let me,

you have to provide your own. Yeah. Yeah, I have them. Wow. Lamb. Is it better? Yeah, and I actually like it, because it really feels closer to skin.

Wow. I'm not going to be on skin. I just had a lamb job the other day. Me too. Wow. You know, it's funny, you say that, because I've never asked someone like, hey, what are your test results? Or have you got tested lately or whatever? Because I always felt like, I've never, it's funny you say that, because I've never asked someone like, hey, like, what are your test results, or have you got tested lately or whatever,

because I always felt like, oh my gosh, I'm the one who's out here doing all the stuff. And they don't ask me. I'm the one asking them. Yeah, and then I've been in relationships where like, I will go get tested and the guy wouldn't. And he'll be like, we good? And I'm like, yeah, are you good?

No, because it's like, I know I'm good, but he's asking, are you good? No, but it's like if we're having an unprotected sex and I go and I'm fine, then he knows he's good. Then he's okay too. And that's not always the case because these can lie dormant in you. Yeah.

Because my mommy's always say that too, she was like just because you test negative, doesn't mean it's not in you. So my mom, mom. Now if she's like fear of God, I'm like, it's a little worried. Because she's like, these can lie dormant down in anybody for years

and then to pop up and you didn't have sex with all these people. Yeah. And I was like, you're right. So he's like, ma. But I recently was, I was talking to this guy. And we didn't end up having sex. But he had a scare because somebody

that he was close to ended up getting exposed for having herpes. And like it broke up his marriage. He was like a big deal. And because he knew he was out in the streets, he was like, let me go get tested. And he sent me, like we have first started talking, he was like, I just want you to know I'm good.

So he sent us, I could actually see. And that was the first person who I actually, even without asking, had shown me his test results. And I was like, oh, well, I just got my pap and got everything tested too soon. Come on, pap. Hey, I was got it too, that's what it is. And I was just telling someone,

I started even getting my blood drawn because a lot of times they don't test it at every time. So I'm like, go ahead and draw the blood and test for all everything, not just what you get in the culture from the vagina sample. And a lot of people forget that. Yeah. And you know, it's funny.

They won't test you for herpes unless you ask them. Yep. Because it's so funny because like I recently, I got my pap and then I went back because I was trying to find somebody here. And I was asking her just about stuff and she was just like you know typically we don't test people unless they're having an outbreak because of not I can ruin someone it can ruin someone's day yeah and she was like yeah we just don't test for that I was like we'll ruin my day yeah I was like can you just

do my blood work because it because she was like well what do you want to do blood work for I'm just like I was like that was the thing and she said well we typically don't like unless you want me to, then I will, but. I'm like, yeah, yeah, matter of fact, yeah, I still got a little. But like, they, they won't. Yeah, they won't. And you know what? I think herpes is like one of the most, like, statistically, like, so many people have it. Yeah. And that's probably why I've been to the contest.

Even the sister one on the mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all types of types of it. But like there are so many people that have it. And it's probably because y'all like testing people for it until they have outbreak. A lot of that stuff could probably prevent it if like us people people were like, let's know testing for everything. Yeah, do the blood.

Don't just do this while from the past, America. Yeah, that's the real thing. That is real. Never had a pregnancy scare. I've been on birth control for like 20 years. Not on it now because I'm older now. I'm like, I want to just see, like I need, because I remember I went to a fertility doctor

and I was like, I need to know what he did. He's doing, she's like, yeah, ain't got none. You've been on birth control all this time. Wow, what? She's like, you have to be off of it. For a certain amount of time. For your body to actually produce that. I did not know that

I was today years old to know that like bar control stopped the eggs. Yes, she was like so you won't know until like so I only had sense though. Yeah, so she was like it suppresses you from ovulating so like you won't have eggs. I was like what? So she was like get off the pill, see how your body does in a couple months and then go see a fertility doctor and just check your count. Yeah. And then once you do at your age, they try to make a small risk. Child, I see people getting pregnant in 40 years old. Don't, don't play with me. And they're like, um, because I'm considered high risk now because I'm in my 30. Um, that I need to freeze them. Yep. Yep. I mean, at that case, it's so expensive. I have a lot of

friends that have done it. It's a $10,000 a year. Yeah, just to rent the space to store the eggs. And that doesn't, it's like $20,000 or $30,000 to do the whole process. And then you have to pay rent for the eggs. So I've got to pay rent. I've got to pay rent in my house. I've got to pay rent for my ass.

It rent for the future children, yes. Shout out, nope, it's a real thing. It's a real thing. And that's something I'm going through as well, just as I just turned 40 and not being in a relationship, one and like, is that still in the car for me? Can I even still have children? Are you on the film?

No, but I haven't seen anything. You saw my post, where it was like, yeah, it's like I'm DD and then I was good to, I haven't no sex! Yeah, it's a drought. No, I'm not having sex. So like, Go see a fertility dog. I did get my level of sex,

the hormone level that lets you know if you're still like producing eggs at a high rate and it's very high for my age. Really? Where'd you go? Actually, I go to the healthy woman. That's where my doctor is. And she checked at all the levels cause I was one and no before I went to the Healthy Woman. That's where my doctor is. And she checked all the levels,

because I was wanting to know before I went to fertility doctor, I was like, can you just, is there something that you can do to let me know? Oh, so there's levels to it. Oh yeah. So that was included in my patch. She did that when I did my patch. And I checked for like, fibroids and all this stuff.

Yeah, fibroids. Yeah, I have one. She said it's just, she's like, honestly, it's just, it's, she's like, it's so small. I wouldn't even worry about it. I don't worry about it, but it's just like, because she was doing my pap and she was like, I think, let me give you an ultrasound

and I was like, then she showed it to me when it was so tiny and she's like, but I'm thinking, like, how did you feel that? Feel that, yeah. But if you're trying to do that. Yeah, you know what, yeah, feel that. But, no, never been pregnant before. Never had any real scares outside of the first time experiencing B.V.

Oh my gosh. I thought, listen. And during that phase, we're like, it's too many people coming up in there. When your pH gets thrown on. Yes. It's a real thing. I was like, oh my gosh, what do I do?

I can't tell my mom. So my oldest sister took me to play in fair. One time I was playing while I was in that whipped cream girl. And that whipped cream, and that bacteria did not sit well. Because I was like, if you've never had Bibi, which is bacteria vaginosis, it is like, it's a real thing. It's sin.

Call the spay to spay. It's funk. And you'll be likeade a spade. It's funky. And you'll be like internal. You'll be like, because I'm the type of person, like, I always smell my panties when I pee. You know? And like, I always, you know? So I remember it's just like, it's strong.

And the longer you wait, oh, oh. The worse it gets. I remember going to play in parenthood and then they, you know, ended up being a BV. And I was just like, what is that? Am I going to die? Right. She's like, no, girl. Yeah. And I was just like, what is that? Am I gonna die? Right. She's like, no girl, she's a factory infection,

your pH is all here. You're gonna take these heels of your body. Yeah. And I was just like, what? But yeah, there's not being educated to know what these things mean, like different symptoms. I remember my first time having a UTI, I'm like, seven never experienced that,

I know a lot of friends have had UTIs. And I'm like, I don't never want to think, because it sounds so painful. Oh, it's so painful. It was to the point where it's like, seven-year experience that with my, I know a lot of friends of how you tie eyes. I'm like, I don't never want to think, because it sounds so painful. Oh, it's so painful. It was to the point where it's like, I was peeing like every 10 seconds. At that point, I put on an overnight pad. I said, I'm not playing with you today.

I was just pissing down. I was just pissing and going, I had things to do. You think I'm gonna stop and go pee every time? I got this overnight pad on. I'm just gonna piss these little three drops and get on with my business. I got things to do. I can't keep it his little three drops and get on with my business. I got things to do. I can't keep going.

Oh my gosh. But I will tell you for all my homeopathic people, apple cider vinegar, apple cider vinegar, put it in water, that will help you pee more. And look, Azo pills, because I was like, I need anything. I was like, it was a wrong thing. Given, I'm like, I had a diaper wrong girl.

I was like, I got a cook. I can't keep like, I can't, y'all got a cook. I can't keep excusing myself to the bathroom. Wash my hands off my hands are wrong. I'm thinking, just, it's too much going on. I had a diaper wrong girl. I haven't, I'm not playing with you today. You. I'm not going to pee for these three drops.

Right. Dipper. That is hysterical. Oh, it's true. Yes, I love it. But it's like, and then women should know their bodies too. Know what like, you know, like just that, like you're peeing frequently or whatever.

And it's coming in. What does it look like? Is it clear? Is it super yellow? Yes, it's all of those things. Even like down to like your dishard, like the texture of it. And the color.

The color. The smell. Like knowing what all that stuff mean. Yes. You know what I mean? Because I know that like different people are like, have different textures. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? When I got my pap smeared, I'm asking her, I'm like, is everything cool? She was like, and she was like talking about my texture. And she was like, she was like, yep, nice and milky. Yeah. Nice, healthy vagina. And I was like, oh my nice and milky, nice health of a dad. And I was like, and I was like, oh my gosh, thinking about all the times I was called Marie.

And I'm like, no. I'm like, gosh, freaking ice cream truck. But, yeah, but like, you know, just knowing, like, there's different shades of normal. Yes, you know what I mean? Like, you're gonna be like this, and like, you're like this. And then also having like girlfriends to talk to. Yeah.

And I remember like, I've always had like a space of girlfriends, where we always talked about like pH and sex and vaginas. And what they looked like, I remember being a, I was a cheerleader, like all of the girls was bottom, bottom down. Like showing everyone was showing their privates. Like not in a like kind of way. We were just like, oh, this is how mine look. Because like, oh, this is what mine looks like.

Oh, yours looks like mine. And like everybody was just like, we weren't taught. Like, okay, there's so many different variations of a John here. Yes. The vulva. The vulva, you here. Yes, the vulva. The vulva, you know. Yes.

And it's like they all kind of look different, but the same, but not. And, you know, and I remember like, it was like 16 of us on the squad and it was like 16 different ones. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that's another thing.

And I think that it's so funny, because like men, I remember I was doing interviews on like South Beach, this was forever ago. And I had like a little flip camera and I was interviewing someone. And it's like, you know, like there's like the end year outy whatever, right? I remember asking someone, I was like,

end year outy and he was like, any. And I was like, why? And he was like, because if you, the outy, it just makes you feel like they've just, they've had a lot of sex and it's been randered And I'm just like that's not what that mean Like look at porn so that's not about to say not in the scene some raggedy looking But yeah, not a season not ragged like I don't see them raggedy

I'm like is that because you had a baby or is that too much sex in the Some of a word just raggedy like, thank you. I don't want to call them raggedy. No, some of them ain't. I'll be like, I can't, I'm like next. Not a different video. But I mean, like there's different variations I can only imagine with men.

At least, you know, some guys are like, they're not even looking at it. They're just putting their dick in there. As long as it feels good when you get there. Yeah, they're not looking at it. It's just like, I'm like the men like a lot of men are not going down on every girl that they have So they don't even know what one really looks like in a relationship. So like all this at all of them look like yeah But it's like and you're hitting for the back. You don't even see it. Yep, and then you see one that's different. You're just like Wait a minute. I was like you might hold on, but I mean, that's one that's different. You're just like, wait a minute. Or it's like, you might hold on.

But I mean, that's just, that's just, and there's the same thing with Dicks. Like, they're all different. You think everything is all different. If everybody had the same, everything you do. Yeah, that's true. A very important world. That's true.

They are all different. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Poor story. So there's some raggedy ones too. Ma'am, some raggedy ones. Raggy balls. Long ones. Oh my yeah. Horror stories. So there's some raggedy ones too. Ma'am, some raggedy ones, raggy balls. Long ones. Oh my gosh.

It's the one. What? What's that? You got two heavy rocks in a pillowcase that you lose. Hey. Oh, let me not. We love y'all. We don't want to dog you out.

So let's talk about, let's give them some advice on how to be better sexual partners. Okay. Starting with the men? Yeah, start with the men. I feel like men, um, pay attention when you're doing things to your woman's reaction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because a lot of times, like when you're doing things the way I react, you know what, that's a lot because sometimes I be faking.

That's a real thing. Faking it is a real thing. Faking it is a real thing. So I don't know. When do you get to a point where you stop? You know what, you just not doing it. You're not the one, remember? That's the real thing. Faking it is a real thing. Faking it is a real thing. So I don't know. When do you get to a point where you stop? You're like, you know what? You just not doing it. You just don't want to.

You don't want to remember. Get out. Get out. But there are women that can maybe honest with me like, hey babe, like, or try to, they push in your head one way or like, do it like this or right here. Listen and take direction.

I'm like, that's a good tip. What do you think? Yeah, no, it is. And I think that it's not what you say, it's how you say it. If you're says, you're not like, right there, right there, mom. You're just like, if you're doing it in the mom,

I'm not going to find a bone on here. But if you're doing it in the moment, then like, it becomes like sexy. But yeah, definitely paying attention to the body. And her, how she reacts reacts not even just how the mone sound but what the vagina is doing you know because the vagina it talks back to you. She she gonna talk back now you know what I mean so it's like just paying attention to those things and then also like women I think take a longer time to warm up a man can just have an

interaction and be ready to go like women women, you really got a rev then. You do. You know what I mean? So spend a little bit more time with four plays. Yes, I like that. That's it. Yeah, spend a little bit more time. Whatever it is, whether she likes to kiss or give a finger pop. Whatever it is, like just spend more time in the four play and the talking.

If you guys like, if you do like to talk or whatever, I saw something recently where a woman was like during sex she likes to say positive affirmations to her person. Wow. And like I've actually done that where we prayed together and it made the experience like, oh wow. Like we are anointed. We have a thanks before marriage but I know God is here. You know what I mean?

And then women, I think that the mistake that I made is like trying to do all the things that the other one like. You know what I mean? It's like, because everyone is different. Everyone is different. It's a treat each person, like a new person, and not like, you could come with your bag of tricks. And don't be surprised if all of them don't work.

You know what I mean? That part. There are certain things that will most likely work because I feel like men are pretty simple. But then also, don't be afraid to ask. That's what I was gonna say. Don't be afraid to have those sets conversations. Like, I feel like that's how you really get to know the person.

Like, be free. I'm like, so what do you like? You like it with my each booty or do you not like it? But it's also. Damn. So what you like? You like it when you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you like it was my each booty or do you not like it? But it's also, damn, so what's your line? You like it, you like it, you like it. I'm not supposed to say yes, I think it takes more of an edge off if you're asking in the moment.

Yeah. Whereas it's like, you don't have to say, tell me what to do. You can just be like, I don't want to do whatever you want me to do. Guide me. Or whatever. Jansi, I want whatever you could put me the show. You know the thing, have your way. Like whatever that talk is, they'll tell you. And if they start pushing your head past the gooch,

he won his booty over her. That's an answer right there. He ain't tell you when you asked him on the day. He told you, seriously, like something else gets uncomfortable. But like when you're like in that moment of a rouse, he was like, fishing down, keep going. Yeah, you know, okay, like the uncle He was like I don't tell women when their head is bad. He was like I'll just plug their nose Because they can't breathe. I'm done. He's like he's just going to plug their nose out

Screen Oh, it's like, yeah. It's a full list. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Jessie, I really enjoyed you. This has been a great conversation. Oh, my goodness.

I'm so happy we did this. We're going to get to one of my favorite parts of the show. It's called Positive Outcomes. And this is where our listeners write into it. So we're going to get them in the box. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So this is going to be fun.

Y'all don't want advice from me. Yeah, sweet. Okay. All right, this one says, hi, Crystal, I need some advice. I've been on and off with this guy since 2016. In 2021, he moves in with me, but the whole time he was dating someone.

Uh-uh. Are you me? The whole time he was dating someone else, I had a situation like this. The whole time he was dating someone else. I had a situation like this. The whole time he was dating someone else. I know this because he called me her name and he would run and leave the room to answer the phone. Ooh, girl.

Someday he came into the house and we wouldn't speak. We didn't have a sex life. He claims it wasn't happening because he claims it wasn't happening because I didn't initiate it. He would take food and drinks out of the house to the other woman's home for her to cook. Trifling, oh my gosh. So I put him out and changed the locks.

Kinda find out through my job. I haven't able to see he had a baby with this other woman, which he denies, but I saw his name on the birth certificate. Oh, so you work for the F, who you work for the F. Yeah, he is now trying to come back and get a key to my home. I don't know what to do because I still do love him, but I don't want to get hurt again.

What should I do? Keep them doors, them locks the same and do not give him the key, throw it away to your heart, and leave. This is a real story. This is a real story. Look at the lifetime movie. Girl, you don't know what to do.

You know what to do. Yes, you do know what you do. You do know what to do. Run, do not let him back in, tell him to go on where he came from with other people. First of all, he sound broke. It's giving him broketic energy. It's giving broketic energy.

And it's giving brok bitch energy too from her. So you got to steal the soda pops from my fridge and bring them on down to her. And my food. So I'm feeding you her and the baby. Yep. Now he was still a snacks, but she was pregnant. She was probably ready to pregnant at the time.

And then they weren't having sex because she was pregnant. But you live in with me. And you know, a lot of men do that. They'll pray on women who will let me stay there and they'll stay there to drop off a couple scraps of dick every now and then. And that's why she brought them back.

Just to like, you know, keep you at bay. And they're still doing what they want to do. But like, I can even tell like, oh, we moved in together. I knew she was paying the bill. Because it's giving you moved in with me. That's exactly it. He moved in with me. It sounds like you was just we moved in together. That I knew she was paying the bill. Yep. Because it's given, you moved in with me. Me. Yeah, that's exactly it.

He moved in with me. Baby. It sounds like you was just a place to stay while he figured things out with home, girl. Listen, wish them well. Hell, even you can send a baby a gift. But no, uh-uh. No.

We're not doing any of this. No, no. We're not. That's low frequency. Yeah. That is low frequency. Yeah. That is low vibrational relationship. Okay, and we are elevated higher than that. Pass that.

Yeah. Let it go, sweetheart. What's his Instagram? I wanna see what he looked like. I wanna see what that does. I wanna see what that does. That does look like. Right, I don't know her.

I don't know how to call her that. But she trifling for, if she knew you was doing that. Yeah. She was tripping, she knew he wasling for, if she knew you was doing that. Yeah, she was tripping, she knew he was in it, but she know Niggas lie. They do, she may not have, now a lot of times we don't mean on what they do. That's a fact, that's a fact.

Maybe she couldn't handle the truth. We thought the body can't you handle it? Right. Oh, okay, so yeah. The consensus is, leave him alone. Yes. And probably higher sweet heart. Yes.

For sure. Okay, so what I'm going through versus what I'm growing through. And I feel like in this season in my life, I am going through a drought because I ain't getting done. But I'm growing through understanding that in these moments, I'm learning so much about myself. And what I like, what I don't like in this season of what may look like loneliness, I'm learning so much about crystals

so that when the next person does come, I'm gonna be so clear on a lot of things. So that's what I'm going through, what I'm growing through. What do you do? Okay. Okay, when I'm going through is just trying to find that balance between my career and my relationship because I am like super, like I'm a stepmom, I'm a girlfriend, like I, like I'm a life partner,

I'm like a help mate. But I'm also a career woman. I'm also an actress, a comedian, a writer. Yes. I got to an actress, a comedian, a writer. I gotta do all the things. But I noticed that like in my relationship, I feel so much joy when like everyone is taking care of and the house is clean and the kids are fed

and they're happy and homework is done. And their baths are ready and my man is happy. And he ate and homework is done. Yes. And they, that's, they, their baths are ready. Am I man, it's happy? And he ate, and everybody's good. And I'm just sitting back and I, because I don't even sit down and eat anymore, too. I eat in the kitchen. I just make it.

Yeah, like I just will stand up and be in that corner and be like, oh, look at the piece that I've created. And it's just such a, I find so much fulfillment in that. But also it's like, okay, I'm still a boss. I'm still a little bit, you know what I'm saying? And what I'm going through is that balance. Yes. Because I think that, because I've always been a lover, we talk about my love journey.

So now being in a space where like, I get to be like this, I'm like, I'm really in it. You are. You know what I mean? So then it's just like, okay, I've done the whole strong independent black woman who don't need no man thing. And I don't like that girl. You want the soft life?

Yes. Yeah. It feels very soft. Yeah. Yeah. It's still okay soft. I can see it on the mirror. You know, but still, like, I have to find that balance to do it all.

Yeah. Because I'll be like doing all that stuff for the kids and then boom, I got interviews, I got meetings, I got Zoom calls, I got this find that balance to do it all. Because I'll be doing all that stuff for the kids and then boom, I got interviews, I got meetings, I got Zoom calls, I got this, and then I find myself saying, why I'm only free this week from this time to this time because I gotta pick a baby from school and do all this and it's like that balance is real. And I'm just really trying to learn that dance,

especially now that I'm touring now. I'm only visiting a couple of cities because film, life and all that stuff. Some are busy. Right, so it's like, but how do I, I think what I'm going through is I find it very hard to treat myself as good as I treat other people. And it's not that I don't treat myself good

because baby, I be's at the spa, okay? And I be at the Sephora, getting myself anything that I want pertaining the beauty and hair and all the stuff that I love. And I love, and I take my bubble baths, and I do those things, but I be going all out. Yeah, for everybody, you do. And maybe I'm just okay with that.

I love you. I'm like, well, you better be doing all this. If this isn't it, I'm just like, I'm really happy. But I do feel like I could keep that same energy though. You know what I mean? With the way I handle, make sure his flights are booked and he got all his things. I could cross my teeth and dot my eye with the things I handle, make sure his flights are booked and he got all his things that I could cross my T's and dot my mind with the things that I need. I still, you know, I still got to get this logo made.

I have a card up on that email. I still need to handle this. I still need to follow up with this. But let it be his. And it's funny, he had to say it to me. He's like, babe, you're so talented. So this, he really wants me to start a YouTube. He's like, I'm just telling you that, and he was like, and I know you can do it. And he's like, because if I asked you to, and he had anything to do with me, you would. Oh, not what's like.

It makes me want to cry. Because women, we do that. We pour into everybody around us. And we, wow, I love how he put that. Because if I asked you to do it, you would do it, wow. And I felt like crap. Oh my gosh, that's so true. Yeah.

I was like, dang. I got to pull it for myself, because I pull it for everybody else. But what does that even look like? Because when I pull it for me, it's in a major way. I got time to do all the, yeah. You know what I mean?

So it was like, what is that dance? And maybe I should talk to Kadeen. Shit. Right, because she's got a lot of moving parts. But like what? I don't know that I'm telling her. But she has help. You got to get help.

You got to have a team. That's true. That's also true. That's also true. You can't do it by yourself. Yeah. And I think the thing is, it's like, if I see that I can, I will.

You know? And if people come in and help, thank you so much. Yeah. But I was going to do this next time. My set period. You know what I mean? And I have to do better with like, delegating, or help, yeah, delegating,

and not having to, I don't have to say yes all the time. If I can do it, do it. Yep. But if I can't, I'm sorry, babe, I really can't even do it. Well, thank you for doing this. Yeah. I appreciate it. Thank you for coming over here. Oh, yeah. Because I know you were so busy. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you for coming over. Oh, yeah.

Because I know you were so busy. Yeah, the town. Okay. And he was here. No, I still don't know. I still don't know. I still don't know. I just adore you.

But so I guess what I'm going through is what I'm growing. Yeah. I love that. That's good. So trying to learn that dance. Yeah. I love that. So let's do, um, keep it blank, sweetie.

Um, pertaining to this episode, who have touched on so many things, um, I go first? You can go first, I'm still thinking. Okay. Keep it real, sweetie. Stop lying. Yes.

Trying to suppress who you really are to, to, to stroke somebody's ego is not you. Yeah. Sooner or later, you're gonna find out. Mm-hmm. You like a finger in your butt. who you really are to stroke somebody's ego is not you. Sooner or later, you're gonna find out. You're like a finger in your butt. You know, so just be honest about who you are. And the ones that are worse while we'll stay. And the ones that aren't will get out the way early.

And regardless if it's the one that you think is supposed to be there, he not. Because they can't exit. Like, because then the whole relationship will be a lie. And you never want to base your relationship on a lie. You want your foundation to always be honest, be truthful, and realness, and authenticity. So keep it real, keep it real.

Oh, that's hard on the top. Because the thing that that was my takeaway from this is like, just keep it honest because the right person's gonna be okay with everything. Keep it... Mm. Trying to see how I can put this in one word. Cause he talked about like looking at where you are now and not the past. So I guess

to keep it present, sweetie, and know that like where you are now is not who you were before. Oh yeah, I love that. And stop harbing on the past and thinking, oh, I've done all these things. Nobody's ever going to love me and I can't be honest with someone about, keep it real with somebody that about who who I've been in my past, and I understand that everything that you've done, it has made you the beautiful being that you are today. So yeah, I would say keep it present and be in the present moment. I love that.

I love that. Thank you. You're so good. Thank you so much. I love you. I love you too. This is good. This is really good.

Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. And thank you guys so much for tuning in. Oh, yes. To keep it positive, sweetie. And if you want to write in, please write in to keep it positive, sweetie at gmail.com. I can't wait to hear from you guys.

Follow me on all platforms at LoveLUV, Chris Thurne, and Jazzy, tell us where they can follow you and what you got going on, because then you got a lot of things. Oh my gosh. Well, I don't know when this is gonna air, but hopefully it's before my tour. So far, you can follow me in what you got going on. So then you got a lot of things to do. Oh my gosh, well I don't know when this is gonna air, but hopefully it's before my tour is over. You can follow me at watch Jazzy, and you can also follow me at Toyota Turnup,

Toyota underscore Turnup, and we have a little, probably like six city tour we're doing, and the link is in my biofall my tour date. Yes, catch her own the team up. Oh, catch me on the team must season one and two. And two. And sister. And sister. Yeah. And just stay tuned for all the

projects that I have going on. Yeah. A lot of great things that I can't talk about. Right. Because legal. Right exactly. But yeah, keep eye out for this when she is definitely one to watch. If you're not a boner, get up on her. She will definitely brighten your day, follow

her on Instagram. And we will see you next time. But in the meantime, you guys know what to do. Keep it positive, sweetie. Love you guys!