Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Dating Women of My Caliber

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Season 1 Episode 11 | As we bring this season to an end, I invited my brother Cyhi on the show to discuss dating a woman of my caliber. Over the years, Cyhi and I have had countless talks about dating, love and relationships. I appreciate his perspective because he gives it to you straight, no chaser. Join us on the couch to listen to our raw and unfiltered conversation. Cyhi: https://www.instagram.com/cyhi/

What's up, y'all? Welcome to this episode of Keep It Posit, sweetie. And today, we are talking about dating women of my caliber. Y'all. This right here is something I've been struggling with, especially as I continue to ascend, finding the right man that is secure enough, that is ready to date a woman like me, that is ready to date a woman in the industry, is so many different obstacles

that I have to go through to find a mate. And I just feel like I'm in a place in my life where dating is getting harder and harder. Every guy that I date either, they start off really good and then they see how I'm living and like, oh, I can't do this, or I can't keep up, I can't do that. So I'm always talking about relationships

to my good friend, Si. Hi. Si, y'all. Si, y'all. Yeah, y'all doing it. I got a Si, I hear it with me. We have very candid conversations about relationships. So Si. Yes.

You've seen me, first of all, let's go back into time. Was like 2012, 2013. We collaborated on the song together. Correct. That was a black history, one of your black history ones, Missed. Yeah, I think it was black history, too, yeah. Yeah. That was a black history one of your black history ones, they said.

Yeah, I think it was black history too, yeah. Yeah. That was everybody's favorite one. No, it was black history one was everybody. So that was the one you was on. Yeah, okay, so I was on everybody's favorite. You know, that one did really, really well. Yes.

So that's a little backstory how we actually met. I knew you when you were working with Boo like a long time ago, and then you've done things from writing for Kanye to, who have, tell me, ago. And then you've done things from writing for Kanye to who have, tell me what you, what you've done. Oh, you know, I've written Travis Scott's Kanye's. We've worked with Drake's to the, you know, the high echelon of people, but, you know,

we gonna keep it humble. I love it. There is, you are a very evil person, but you are so talented. Thank you. I feel like you are one of the most underrated artists of our time. One of the most prolific writers, like the way you write spit, like it's insane. Don't make me blush.

No, you really are. I've got it seriously. Thank you. And I hope that you continue to put music out. I'm like, got it. Seriously. And I hope that you like continue to put music out. Bless us because we miss it. Thank you. Yeah.

I was coming soon. There you go. We got it here. There you go. We got the official. Perfect. We needed that. Let's just have a very candid conversation about how

this dating life is. Well, I think, well, pretending to yourself, I would say, you know, it's difficult for people that grew up similar to you like myself, both parents, raise of certain values, seeing what love really looks like, seeing what family looks like, in a world where a lot of people don't grow up that way.

So, it's almost a teaching, it's almost like, I would say it like this. You're more like Harriet Tubman and you come back, you're not gonna just say, I'm only gonna save the women here. Okay. You may have to save a man here as well. Yeah.

You can't demasculate him if he's at home watching the kids and you're at work. You know what I mean? You have to be able to pour that same energy. Oh, you want to start a business like most men will act as a girl. You want to start a business. You know what I mean? And I think that's where we, uh, society, I said, man, a man should approach a woman. Like, a woman like you should approach you with me.

A woman like you should approach a man. But you gotta think, like, you know, be judicious about it. Don't just be out approaching guys. You know what I mean? But if you see someone you like, you have a great conversation to be able to hold the conversation with him and let him know metaphorically that I think you're attractive. Yeah, you know what I mean? Versus like standing off and just waiting on him to gain the confidence to like walk up to you. You know what I mean?

That's why I'm still single because I'm waiting on him to come to me. They don't approach me. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Sometimes it's funny because a lot of the women that I know that are unsuccessful marriages or relationships end up shooting their shot first. And I'm like, oh, you shot her shot at me. And here we are. Right, right.

I'm here some years later. I'm like, okay, so yeah, we've been taught not to approach me. We've been taught that a man finds a wife. So it's like, you don't go searching for him. He comes to find you. And a lot of times I feel like we miss out our blessing. We miss interpret the word when it comes to that. It's just so true.

Yeah, because like I said, you know, I wouldn't say the beneficiary, but you're in a great, advantageous situation where you have a great job, great career, great family, great upbringing where you have an abundance and sometimes you have to do philanthropy with me and figure out who's a good foundation to donate this life to. You know what I'm saying?

See, I love the way you said, you were a rapper even when you talking. Oh, you know. And just, you know, my diction is, you know, I worked, I couldn't read that with a high school, but hip hop would do healthy. So don't ever think that hip hop is not a, you know, a learning tool.

I love that. I think that's the biggest thing. It's just you finding, and ladies, it's only one of me, okay? So. It's a thousand years of selling. Yeah, it's only one of me. So don't think you're just gonna go around

and get this type of, you know, you know, this education, this relationship education from anyone. This is just me. But, I want to go. I want to go. And did you write that line? It's a thousand years of selling one of them. I asked everybody, did you break that line?

Is it thousand? You used to selling one of me? Oh, I remember. You're right. It's like I raised someone. I'm pleading to fence. OK. You know, it's I pleaded to them.

But I think that's what it is. It's a, and, you know, in our community, I remember back in the day, you had the date who you were compatible with in your neighborhood. Now, everybody has access to the world. I was just saying this. Without working, to be able to go and see what was in France,

you had to be able to afford a flight, to get there. Get there, enjoy yourself versus everybody can go to St. Mark's with you, because all you got to do is go live. Little. I don't have to go to St. Mark's, first of all, I was the one I was with. I was with the restaurant with.

Yeah, I was with every little. Yeah, but you know, I was there too, that's true. Right, right, so a lot of those things are like, I was blocking those, that's true. That's true, true. Right, right, so a lot of those things are like, I was blocking those experiences with the man or with someone else, so. Wow, that's real. I was just talking to a guy about that about the overexposure and the endless possibilities and people that you can talk to.

Like as soon as you're a person, like, say friends we were dating. And then like, you're a person, it's like, safe friends we were dating. And then like, you as an actor and ran, it's like, cool, I got somebody in my DM right now. It's like so easy to replace. It's like, it leaves no room to really like work for things anymore. Like you were saying. And that's so true because I feel like we live in such a time

where everything is at our fingertips. Right. And it leaves like, when we were growing up, like we didn't have that. There was no social media. We used to write letters to people, everything is at our fingertips. Right. And it leads like when we were growing up, like we didn't have that. There was no social media. We used to write letters to people, like love notes. Right.

You know, we were like, yo, I already survived. Literally four page letters to my little boyfriend when I was in high school. And that's a lost art. I feel like because love is an art in itself. And I feel like that's we've lost that. And um.

But do you know why you felt like that about him? Because he was actually your friend. Y'all playing on the playground. Yeah. Going to school, y'all riding the school. But you don't know that you're attracted to him and you don't know how you're trying. Y'all just growing up together.

Yeah. A lot of times, that's how relationships should be. I said that. Y'all should go to the playground together. Y'all should do things together. You meet the family sooner. Like when you meet somebody, you have to come get the approval from your family.

You know, I wasn't like, I can't bring you around my people. Like you get a, you really get to know the person become their friend. I always say that. But even deepening the approval, it's almost, you almost get a lifetime pass. You don't need the approval.

See, approval is something, if you're inviting a stranger over, and you're saying, mom, if your mom already knew these guys are friends, and y'all just happen to get together, there's no question about that. There's no question. My therapy comes when they know you're a good person, it's like, oh, that's Joe from Down the Street. That's Karen Sun. Yeah, it's totally different. So sometimes you gotta throw him in the water, bring him to an environment where it's other women.

Bring them to places that he's never been, just see how he reacts. And you can't look at it like, man, you know, I shouldn't have wasted no money on you. It's like, what you gonna do with anyway, if I know the bracelet? You know what I'm saying? You're gonna find me a ticket, bro. Let me go with y'all. Like, and then you will see like,

oh, can this guy, you know, interact with, you know, the rim of people I'm around, does you know the handle itself? Is he drinking too much out here in this church? Like you can learn a lot about somebody just from an invitation. Right, wow. You get what I'm saying?

So always look at it like that. Don't look at it like somebody got a desire to be in a presence. Mm. Almost like I always tell people, you don't have to earn my respect. You already have it. You gotta keep it, you don't have to earn my respect. You already have it. You gotta keep it.

You don't have to earn my love. You already have it. Wow. You get what I'm saying? You just gotta keep it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Some people are like, man, you gotta earn my respect. You know, I'm cool.

You already got this sweetheart. So what do you feel like are like five things that like I should look for in a man? Like when it comes to like, okay, this is a good guy. Like what do you feel like as a man, you feel like these are like five things that like I should look for in a man. Like when it comes to like, okay, this is a good guy. Like what do you feel like as a man, you feel like these are like, these are like, these are like,

these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like,

these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, these are like, the spirits being, you know what I'm saying, they can be a little bit bigger. For sure. For sure.

But you know, like, when I speak spirit, it could be religion. I would like to say religion because, you know, if you fear something that you can't see, that means, you know, you're gonna, it's like your mama, you might not see you doing it. But you're like, my mama's blonde all about this, obviously.

Yeah. Yeah, so, spirituality or religion, then I would think someone that's humble, but someone that's also confident. Like, for example, a martial artist can be humble, because he know the pain he can inflict to somebody. Yeah. So that's what I mean by humbling this and confidence.

He got to have a little paper. You got to have a little paper. He's a little, that's a little. Just a little paper. Because crystal could put you in a place where your little paper could turn into some big paper. Listen, everything I touched multiply. You know what I'm saying?

Exactly. It's fruitful, right? You know what I'm saying? A lot of people don't know it wasn't an apple. It was a parmigrant. Okay, you have multiple seeds in that. Okay, and next in last but not least, I would say taste.

Taste will prevent you from doing miscellaneous things that you shouldn't be doing. Wow. Life and news at the table, tell me some, man, can you take the string, beans off and ordering chicken nuggets at a five-star restaurant? You know, he gonna order a thought from back page. Your taste level too low, stop.

Eat something that you ain't, you eat some cool, cool. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Trying some different things. So I think taste, humbleness and confidence, a little bit of paper. And Christ. Yeah.

We out of here. I mean, I know it's rare. Yeah, I mean, I know it's rare. Yeah, I mean, I know it's rare. Yeah, I know it's rare. Yeah. Do you feel like men choose monogamy first, or they find a woman and then decide to be monogamy with her.

Um, I think it's both. Great men choose monogamy first. I agree. Average men wait and choose once they find a mate. I was raised to do the right thing. And that's what I said. Like sometimes, you know, a lot of people live for themselves. I don't live for myself. Neither is she anyone live for themselves. We should live for Christ or whoever your spiritual leader is and what you can contribute to mankind.

You know what I mean? And I think that's where you find the true peace. So when a man comes in a relationship, you know, he's looking to like, see if I like this girl, then I'll decide, but you have to have that in your spirit and be practicing that early. Like, quick thing. I'm in my late 30s. I haven't had a girlfriend since my early 20s.

Wow. You get what I'm saying? And what I've learned was, I'll be having sex with a girl and wouldn't let her know that she was the only girl I'm having sex with. Why is that? Why would you? Just so she stay on her toes, I stay on mine.

But I'm gonna do the right thing regardless. But you wanna let her think that you might not be the only one. Yeah, and give her the opportunity because I might not be the only one for her. It might be somebody better for her. See, a lot of these, a lot of y'all are suckers and I'm gonna tell you why you're a sucker. Cause you feel like you can go around here

and sell your royals, whatever whoever you want to but then your lady can't do that. You get what I'm saying? And that's where I feel like a lot of relationships go wrong. Like, like, for instance, I always tell this story. If I'm going to pulling about before I met her. Is that any man in the world that you would like to be with? Any stature, any, we don't set it up. I'm getting the four seasons for you. I'm getting the car service. I'm doing everything for you to have this moment.

If that moment is that special, and you feel like you can keep up with that moment, I've really, you have that moment. Before we get made, or you're going to be done. Or don't get married at all. So like, would you still be with her after that? Yeah, if she has that moment, I really have that moment. Before we had made, or you were going to be done. Don't get married at all. So would you still be with her after that? Yeah, if she has that moment, and it was like, you know, it was cool, but really, what?

Just get it. I know that's mine. Like anything you got to keep a leash on, that ain't true. That ain't sure. That is not yours, honey. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, I've just always been that kind of guy

because I just know that people are flawed. And I don't want to put that much pressure on somebody. And something somebody do naturally is what's really important. At what point do you feel in the relationship that you're comfortable with the roles reversing or even being like, you know what I'm saying? Not being so masculine and being more vulnerable. Well, I think that is emotion.

Right. And I think a lot of times women would like for us to vocalize that emotion. But I think that's where the balance comes because if an English start vocalizing his motions too much, it's like, man, this nigga's a sucker. I mean, I'm sorry. I feel- I'm sorry. I don't mean to say that, but- But why do you feel like that? I don't feel like if he's like too, you know what I'm saying?

Like, it's almost like, okay, you act like a female at this point. But why is that? Why does it have to be a sucker if they start to? Because my accent should show my emotions. Like I should be able to cry if something happens and you know where I'm crying. So you don't wanna talk about it? I mean, what are we talking about?

I mean, we can't talk about it, don't. I'm gonna talk through it. But I I've just said we can talk through it. But what I'm saying is, when you get a man that you allow to start talking about things, he start coming up with excuses instead of getting it done. And you may not see it like that, but it's almost like, if you allow certain things human natural Like if we try to be on the diet, but you keep bringing fruit loops in the house and

Candy and eventually I'm gonna taste the piece Then that's good. I'm gonna taste another piece. Then I'm just keep tasting the candy. So it's like I Feel like it's something that women just Have to learn how to read and not and speak to me in when it's like, I feel like it's something that women just have to learn how to read and not and speak to men when it's not an emotional moment. You get what I'm saying? Like, don't ask me what's wrong when I'm crying. Yeah, well, that's wrong. That's what you would naturally do.

Yeah, you cry. You know, he's crying boom boom a couple days later. You good? I think crying out of the day, you start? You fight that worse, crying boom boom a couple days later. You good? I think crying out of the day, you start. You thought that works, everyone? Because I don't agree with that. I feel like some men do want their woman to be there for them when they are in that space.

Yeah, hug me. Like, rub my bags. Gonna be okay, baby. But to like really like hash it out, like, you know, word by the other way, I don't know if he could attest to this. But I just know from my guy, from my male friends, it's like, we'd rather go through what we go through and talk about it later or talk about it prior.

We don't wanna do it in the moment while we're vulnerable. I think what it really is is how I look at it is. Okay, say if I'm having a rough time at my job, right? You can be communicating on that prior to me getting fired. So once I get fired, you ain't got to talk to me. Because I already know. See a lot of... See, that's what I'm saying.

Like, when you used to talk in prior to an issue or after an issue, that means you have a real bond, you have a real friendship, you have a real conversation. So if something goes wrong, y'all not sitting there like, how to fix this or what do we do? We've already been chopping the way at it as companions. See, a lot of people to sit around each other and ain't talking, communicate, and play together. I just said there's plenty of games all day long. Yeah, y'all just, y'all just,

y'all miss using each other, to say that. Miss you. Because it's nothing wrong with using someone. It's misusing someone. That's the issue. And if you're just sitting around your girl playing video games, you're misusing her time. Yeah. If y'all not building, if y'all not having,

like I have this thing where people kind of with me, right? I have a bad thing when people say, man, you know, you make it seem like it's all about you. And I say, because when you say you my friend, I'm gonna actually call you, actually your advice about stuff. Yeah, wow. It's just people try to ask me something when I'm asking you something. Right, like I mean.

Yeah, I'm using you today, but see, I've been, you ain't called me in two weeks. You could've asked me what you'd like to ask me when I'm calling you. But you just feel like, oh, he's a celebrity. I'm not gonna call him. I don't know if my friendship is real. Is he gonna stay on the phone with me

and hear my problems? Yes, I am. That's why I'm a friend. I'm not just some kind of person that's just like super busy, you know what I mean? Like, you're super busy, you know what I mean? Like you're super busy as well, but you make time for people you wanna make time for.

I do, absolutely. So that's what we, I think in relationships, that's what it's about, it's about. When you have that real friendship, you know each other before the emotional moment, before the distraught or the emergency happen. You know how I'm a react in the emergency because we're genuine partners. And I think that's the gap or the vulnerability that she was saying as well.

When do you show that emotion? That emotion is shown prior and after the actual act or incident that may be a real incident in your life. You know what I mean? So if your car break down, you ain't gonna be destroyed. You wonder why? Because I know my dude finna pull up, fix this tire, or get me a uber, or get me a- Something. Yeah, I ain't even gonna be stressed.

But if you know- you ain't that company or digger. Like, I love your show. I mean, am I allowed to say that over here? OK. I love the first episode, because whoever wrote that, wrote that for people to have conversation. Telepathy. For you to say, go down there and fix that tire.

To me, that Yall ain't had that conversation at home. We had not. And that's something we're dealing with now in the series is communication. And we realized we really don't talk about a lot of stuff. So you work, you come home, you got a cook, you think all these other things, but they're having sex and all this other stuff,

it's like, man, that's a lot on to human beings. So that's my biggest thing. It's like friendship prepares you for anything in life. I agree with, that's good. Yeah. Really good. Friendship is everything. It's key.

It is. To all parts of life. That part, to all parts of life. We're going to segue into a part of the show that is called Positive Outcomes, where we have someone from our community write in and ask us a question, we're going to give them advice. Okay. Alright, so this one says, Crystal, please. Crystal, please.

Can you tell us what the heck is happening with men? I go out with my girlfriends and men don't come up to me. I wish you grow. Same thing. I join dating apps. Try that too. And men don't speak after we match. It's like they want me to court them. Hmm, that's a good one too.

I believe a woman should create an environment for a man to feel confident enough to approach her, whether it's a smile or a sweet flirt, but these men just want us to fully pursue them and be the aggressors. I don't know what to do. How can I get back to the dating scene? Cool, Lord.

Okay, first of all, that was me in 20. It actually may have been the top of 2019. I got on the dating site for the first time. And I was against it. I was like, I don't know who these people are. I'm really big on dating people that are referred to me by someone else. Like at least somebody I know has to know

the person I'm dating. For real? You know? Absolutely. I can't do it. So I tried, I was like, we gonna try something new. I was trying everything that year. That was like, Lord.

So I tried it and it was the same situation as this young lady. I was matching with a few people and then it really wasn't seeing a lot that caught my eye to even wanna swipe up, left, whatever it was to like, you're like, we're a match. And then the ones I did never said anything. The match is like never said anything. I had the same suit. That's crazy. But what do you feel that women need to do? Because I do feel like the

same as her that men are waiting on us to approach them. They want us to be aggressors. The art of pursuing and courting is gone. So from a male's perspective what do you feel like she needs to do to get back to dating? Um, I think provide the environment. Mm, I think. And like, everything can't be about you. It has to be about the environment. Because if the environment isn't inviting then then I don't think it sparks the conversation

So most of the time when people meet they say hey, let's go out on the date Versus hey, let's go to the skate ring or let's go to a concert. Let's go somewhere where the environment is dope Not just me you there and we trying to get to know each other You need to just see how he is in the environment, because what happened is, you'll bring a guy that you're according to an environment. Let's just say, no, we ain't, okay, yeah, they'll be. Okay, just say it for you.

I mean, I guess we gotta say for them. So, say if she's, what could a girl do? Let's say, go to the movies, right? And bite through your home, girls, bite their guy. See if they can buy the guy. And then y'all go to the movies like that. But it's really, no, but what she's asking is like, why do men feel like we have to approach them now? Like, when did the tables turn on that?

Have you ever... Yeah, but what I'm saying is, I don't think it's about approaching. I think it's just providing an environment to be approached. Okay, okay. You're getting to I don't think it's about approaching. I think it's just providing an environment to be approached. Okay. Sometimes it's like, if you're on a dating site, you know, if we like each other, we're going on a date and it's going to be me and you. Yes.

And we got to get to know each other and we got to see if we like each other. Versus if you invite them to a football game or somewhere where it's a lot of people, where it could like, you know how to just focus on you, you can focus and have a good time in the environment. And that might heighten its citizens to say, hey, what you doing later on? You know what I'm saying? Or you might be like, hey, I'm about to go,

you okay, you about to leave? Like, nah, I ain't leaving. I'm right here. I'm right here, what you going? I'm about to go home. All we done, yeah. I was like, oh, okay, we want to get to the car. But if it's like, okay, meet me at dinner at Ruth Chris at nine.

It's like, oh, man, I'm about to give interview to Terry. They ain't a free environment. So I think what women have to understand is like, you don't have to approach a man. Just invite him to an environment where he's, it's cool for him to approach you, it's cool for you to approach him. A lot of time when people are monk strangers,

they kinda cling to the person what, they know most. No, they know most. Okay, so let's take this scenario, say, because I've tried to make myself more available to go out so I can actually meet somebody because I will stay in this house and not go. But I'm like, I'm never gonna meet anybody if I stay in the house all the time.

What do I need to do when I step out of here? And because I get, it's first of all, y'all, it is draining trying to like get ready to be approached. You gotta get ready. But do you make up, do your hair, dress up, put the heels on. It's a very long process and then it's not the most comfortable process. You gotta wear the heels online, trying to be cute. But like when you get there, what do we do to like, for me to be like, oh, like,

because what do you, like when you go somewhere, what is the woman doing that you like, I'm gonna approach her? Like is there something that the way we need to care ourselves? Is there, do we need to smile more? Like, I'm trying to figure out what it is that will make a man be like, oh, her, because I know my presence is filled. Like, you're not coming to me, what's up? Yeah, because, you know, they get distracted by thoughts

who don't have that, they're more of an environment person. So what I mean, like, when you had your party the other night, for you to go around and see group of men and be like, hey, how y'all doing? Y'all good tonight? I'm glad y'all came out. Thank y'all for coming out. Anything you need, let me know.

When you walk off, you're just like, that's y'all the one kind of right. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? That's all you need. You don't need, you don't need to do just like, damn, shot it with kind of right. You know what I'm saying? That's all you need. You don't need to do just like, walk up on you. When I say the environment, it's like, that's how you curate the environment

of people around you. Then that man of me be like, you know what? I'm gonna shoot one shot. So that's inviting. It's inviting. It's inviting. But like I said, if it's something where I feel like it's just me and you and I to control this whole big house with you,

it's just my personality, most guys ain't got that. You know what I mean? Or they just reserved or whatever the case may be. So that's what I think about with all women, creating, I'm having a cook out at the crib, come over. And there's multiple people there. It ain't just me and you. And I think that's where that is women a way of approaching a man. It's not actually going to tell him

and ask something like, hey, I like you. I think you're sexy. You know, y'all, y'all, y'all. And he's gonna be like, okay. But if you just create that moment, create that, like I said, that environment for me to be vulnerable, for and to be able to feel like, oh man, my outcast got on on to anybody.

Oh, I know her, the girl invited me. Hey, what's going on? Thank you, having a nice event. To me, that's the best way I would feel like, because that's why most dancers or strippers succeed with me. Because they'll walk up to them. Need a dance? Mm-hmm.

And most do, be like, you know what? They never walk up to me. People are like, yeah, come on. You must have the trick. Come on over here. You know what I'm saying? Did y'all start talking? You talk about this job?

And that's how most successful men end up getting with like, waitresses or strippers. It's a real girl. Yeah, a monograke. Because them the only girls that will walk up to them and have a conversation and let him know he's of value.

Okay, so we gotta, I see, okay, I see what you're saying now. We gotta, yeah. We gotta sometimes approaches what. We'll say hello. Say hello. Simple hello and be like, oh, then she said hello to me.

You know what I mean? To me, that is what a, a get me, you know, excited to speak to somewhere. Okay. I like that. So I would tell a young lady, listen, stay open, continue to go out and try to meet people.

The flirting and the smiling, like a little cute, friendly wink is good. But be mindful and intentional about where you're going to make sure that you attract the type of man that you want as well. I know for me I'm very particularly about the places I go because I know the type of man that I want to attract. So I would say do that and just... Home Depot, I'll just... I met this one guy in home goods. I was in the rug section and um you know how you had to push the rug. Right.

See it. I didn't know he was in between the rugs and I pushed the rug. I got a smushed in the middle of the rug and he backed up and he's like, I'm so sorry. And I was like, I'm so sorry. What's up? And before I knew it, he was buying a rug. The night that day, they went to dinner. And I thought that was going to be a relationship that worked out too. He was a successful man. Crazy, that's crazy. He was a successful man and then ended up having a childhood girlfriend that lived here.

That he always said he was never going to get married. These are things that I found out as we dated. But we're still dealing with her and wanting to deal with me too. And I was like, so that's what we're not doing. You lost me. Like go ahead and stay with Shari from the neighborhood. And I'm an ex-stage-less. But I did meet somebody at home goods.

Where else do I meet me? The gym. The gym's a good place. I meet somebody at home goods. What else do I meet me in? The gym. The gym's a good place. I meet men in the gym. But yeah, try to go around places that you feel like you're me, somebody that's worth a lifetime. Or try to provide places, create places. Like I'm saying, when you go to the gym,

that LA fitness created that environment. You didn't really create it. I am the environment when you see these. So when I'm saying this, hey, I'm saying, when you go to the gym, that LA fitness created that environment. You didn't really create it. I am the environment when you see these. So when I'm saying this, hey, I'm having a barbecue. I'm having a shot over here. When I'm not up here having everybody over here, like, we gotta get to know each other. No, I'm not just saying here.

I'm just saying we can go to parks. Like people don't do the community things that we used to do prior to the internet. Like, God shoot, they shot on the internet. They do. They don't shoot it in person, cause there's nowhere to shoot it. Like a club, but it's music blasts and everywhere.

It's like, also the people got to create like festivals and different things that multiple people can come to and we can talk and have conversations. Okay, that's another, okay, I see what you're saying. So we can basically create environments where people can come together and meet each other, kind of like mixers, and things. Okay, that's a good idea, sir.

Versus like looking for a spark because like certain spots have their own audience. Yeah. And you go there and they don't have nothing different, you know, you ain't gonna meet nobody that clicked it because everybody gonna have on Do-Shay and fucking Dior and, you know. And Louisvay and Marcel.

Yeah, but this on Sunday, like something I might have on some, some Crocs and some shorts with a hoodie on. Yeah. You know, go somewhere, I go to Fuzz. I just show them that random fuzz. He could be on Fuzz. Yeah, I'll just do random things, but I think to fun, I just show them that random fun. He put me on fun. Yeah, I'll just do random things, but I think for women,

I would love to say like be creative in those environments. Your home girls get together, don't make it just a girl's night. I mean, you do it all the time. You have a charade, party, easy, all type of stuff. I do. And I invite a lot of people and people meet each other there. I got to get back to that.

That's what you got to get back to. And maybe I'll meet somebody. On this podcast, we like to make sure that everyone is growing. We all go on through something, but what are we growing through? So we like to talk about what I'm going through and what I'm growing through? So we like to talk about what I'm going through and what I'm growing through.

And just give a testimony about where you are in life and how it's been a test and a lesson. So for me, right now, I'm in a place in my life where I am going through accepting where I am, especially in this dating phase and understanding that when it's in when you touch on it, when it's time and guys timing is going to happen. And what I'm growing through is making sure that all the lessons I need to learn during this time that I'm grabbing it. So I'm growing and I'm learning at the same time as I go through it.

Yeah, what are you going through and growing through? I think the biggest thing that I'm going through and growing through is removing the devil from my life. Wow. Removing disappointment, removing all the things that is attached to that symbol of like I used to have this thing where like if an artist didn't show up for a video shoot I'd be like distraught. Now it's like okay God don't want no artists in the videos. Like one major artist didn't show up I scrapped all the artists. Yeah. Because God is

telling me why is this so difficult for them to show up? Because I want that camera focused on you. Wow. You've yet to focus it. So that's what I'm going to learn and how to remove the devil from my life, remove negativity, and anything that happens to me is a positive thing. Yeah.

Even if it hurts, it's positive. That's right. Like if you tell your ACL, you need surgery. That first week, I'm going to be hurting. But you know, and the long run is for you to be able to walk better. So, I've learned to accept things that are not going my way and understand, like, God doesn't want me to work with that person. He don't want me to see that person. So, I'll tell people, don't say being a devil's advocate.

I hate it. Be a angel. Be the law's advocate. So that's what I've been going from moving the devil and being more of the law's advocate. I love it. You were definitely raising the church. I love it.

I love that. I love that. The next thing we're going to do is we always take something that we took from the show and we say keep it blank, sweetie. So we feel in the blank. And from this episode, something that really sends out when it comes relationships is friendship. So I would say keep it friendly, sweetie. Keep it friendly.

Because the friendship is definitely like the foundation of a solid relationship. What would you say? Keep it friendly. I love that. It's so much into that. It's so much. I mean, you kind of know, like me and her are very good friends, so she knows a lot about my dating life as well.

And one thing about me, like, every girl of every day they were still friends. I can still call on them as a friend, and they could call on me as a friend. And my biggest thing is I'll be at your wedding or in your wedding. I know that you do say that. Yeah.

Yeah, because you say that's what I really mean. It's like, I'll be there to support your wedding. Or I'll be the dude walking you down out. I'll be the real. Yeah. You know what I mean? But that's when you truly love someone. When you can see that person happy with someone else.

If you can't see somebody you love happy with someone else, you truly don't love them. That's so real. You're just selfish and one of them all to yourself. I love that. Keep it friendly. It's sweet all across the board. Keep it friendly.

I like that. Oh, man. Thank you so much for coming side. This is been amazing. I really appreciate it. And I hope you guys enjoyed it just as much as I did. And if you want to write in to our positive outcomes, listen to our letters. Please write in to keep it positive sweetie at gmail.com. I cannot wait to hear from you guys. We've got more coming.

Stay tuned and you can follow me on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, all the things at Love, Chris Rene and that's L-U-V-C-R-Y-S-T-A-L-R-E-N-E. So tell them where they can find you. You can just, Saha, C-Y-H-I, everything. C-Y-H-I, Mr. E-Guy on the way. Yes, on the way. 23, baby. Oh yeah!