Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Get to Know Me

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

Season 1 Episode 2 | Whew, this is a lot! For years I have remained guarded and have only shared the pieces of me that I felt safe to do so. But for some reason, this year I felt God calling me to be vulnerable and most importantly, be safe being myself in every room. I'm excited (and nervous) to share my heart with you and I'm glad to be here, at my most rawest, realest, and confident. I pray the same for you. Hosted by: Crystal Renee Hayslett Producer & Executive Producer: Dinorah Peña Co-Producer: Chanel Gross Video & Editing: Kvle

Trigger warning. This episode contains content about suicide. If you are a love one or struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or message the crisis text line at 741-741. Both programs are free and provide confidential support 24-7. Hi guys, welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive Sweetie and today we're doing something a little different. I wiped it all off because I want you guys to get to know me, the real me. All right, so to get started, I am going to read this poem,

it's entitled, Who Am I? You Ask? I am made of all the people I've encountered, all the things I've experienced. Inside, I hold a laughter of my friends, the arguments of my parents, the chattering of young children, the warmth of kind strangers, and the bright night time stars. Inside, there are stitching from cracked hearts, bitter words from heated arguments,

music that gets me through any motions I cannot convey. I am made from all these people, these moments, and the universe. That is who I am made from all these people, these moments, and the universe that is who I am. So I thought we would do something a little different. I want you guys to know me. I know you see me on TV, you see what I allow you to see on my social media, but I wanted to really draw you in. Like literally come have a seat with me on my couch.

And I wanna tell you about me and how I got to where I am today and the backstory of Christopher and me that you guys may not know. All right, DeNora, they want to know. So I know you got some questions for me and we just want to get to the nitty-gritty. Amazing. You ready? I'm ready.

All right. First of all, I think that there's something poetic about the fact that you wanted to wipe your makeup. And I think that that's something that has a public figure is very interesting because public figures feel safe hiding behind perfection. Yes. And hiding behind covering what you might perceive as an imperfection. Why was it important for you to do this conversation in your realist

rost? Because I want this conversation to be real and raw. I think that like you said a lot of times, celebrities feel more comfortable hiding behind makeup. And in that I wanted to show my authentic self, show you guys who I am, the naked tree, just literally strip it all off. And I felt like what better way to do this than to take off all the makeup and really just show you guys who I am.

Perfect. All right, goody-stalley, now let's get into it. Okay, the Natalie. That's the little funny name that I've given her Kristalina, which is longer than Crystal, so it doesn't make sense, but that's her name. To me, y'all can't call her Kristalina. Right.

But tell me, I know, we know, Martin Tennessee, a town of what? 10,000 people. What's growing up in a town of 10,000 people like? You know what? I always say that Martin was such a small town that it gave me the most space to dream big. There wasn't a lot of noise.

There wasn't all the distractions. I was able to literally sit in that space and really just dream of a whole new world, literally. And as a very young, young girl, I had a very vivid imagination. And my parents, they had me in the choir. I would do church plays. I was very active as a student. And it was just something about knowing

that there was something bigger that God had for me that was planted in me at a very young age. So I attribute a lot of my big dreaming to growing up in a small town. But I hear small town and this could be stereotypes, right? But I hear small town and I hear almost like limitations, right? What is it about your upbringing or how you were surrounded that allowed you to dream outside of what you were exposed to?

You know what, I was very limited. You know, we didn't have the private schools. We had good education, but we didn't have the resources that a lot of big cities had. I think that living there and the influence, the influence of television, the influence of magazines, I would watch music videos and Janet Jackson performances and her awards show performances and I'd watch her movies. I would watch Alia and I saw these women I'm like I want to do that. Angela Bassett when she was in, how Stella got her groove back and waiting to exhale. These were women that I looked up to at a very young age and I was very much influenced by them and I knew that that was my window to something bigger than Martin Tennessee and when I would leave my house all you see is a lot of land cows,

horses, farms, corn, it was a very agricultural-based city or town so to speak. It was definitely not a city town and I really feel like media was my outlet. Whether it was magazines in the grocery store that I would look through as my mom went through the cash out counter or if it was me watching music videos when I wasn't supposed to and watching TV, they really influenced me and showed me that there was more that the world had to offer. Back in the MTV days. Yes, you would sit down for hours watching videos, 106 in Paris. And my dad, he was very strict about the music that I listened to because he knew that that could, it could either tarnish my behavior and it was very, music is still very impactful as we see in

today's society and it was as well then. So my dad would get mad anytime he came, this is the funny part. He would get mad anytime he came home and I was watching BET. And now I'm on the side of the show. So show's on BET. So shy. Now he's sitting now watching BET. Yep. You're right. I should get on him. What, did you ever feel like there was an ex growing up, did you ever feel like there was an expectation for you to stay small town or did everyone sort of encourage

you to build a life for yourself that would allow you to leave. Because sometimes, I mean, it just depends on the environment you're raising, but sometimes you're expected, like, no, you stay here and you keep this sort of tradition, if you will, of a small town family for generations. Where did you land on that side? Yeah, my parents always instilled in me to get a college education so that you have something to fall back on, and then you can do what you want to do on your own dime. They were not big risk takers, they were very calculated risk takers. They were like, okay, we're going to do this, get the education,

get a good job, good health insurance, and sustain a nice lifestyle. And my childhood, you know what I'm saying, growing up, we had everything we wanted, and my parents definitely pushed us to be active in school and outside of school. But for me, I always knew with something more. And when I was in college, I ended up getting an internship.

I went to school in my hometown. And that was only because my parents would let me take my car. If I had of known what I know now, then I would have said, y'all can keep that car for the first year, and I would have went somewhere else. I think I would have definitely learned a lot more sooner if I had a left home instead of going to school in my hometown.

But they didn't like, he and me are like, trying to talk me out of certain things. But I was always like a risk taker and I didn't care what anybody said. Like if that's what I wanted to do, I was gonna do it. It had been after it was closed, where I wanted to go, whatever it was.

If I felt like this is what I want to do, I'm gonna do it. My mom could be like, I don't like that outfit. And I would literally look her and be like, I do. Wow. And I was always very, I didn't care what other people thought. And it wasn't like in a smart-elequated way. I was just very confident in my choices at a very young age.

And she was like, she's the last bad now. She was like, her's what didn't care. She was like, you know what I do? And it was like a self-esteem thing. It was like, I don't care what anybody likes. I don't care what other people are doing. This is what I want to do. This is how I feel comfortable, and I'm going to do that. What do you think that comes from? Because I would imagine that that's something that you were either taught or you indirectly learned. Where does that confidence as such a young age come from to be like, I'm going to do what I want to do, whether you like it or not? And I feel good in it.

That's funny. I think that's what I want to do. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it, I'm gonna do what I want to do, whether you like it or not. And I feel good in it. Just funny. I think it comes from a sense of rebellion. You know, I grew up in a household where my parents definitely wanted the best for me,

but it wasn't always the most free thinking household. It was very strict and you need to do this. It was strict in circumstances. There were some things they would be done. And then other things, it was like, no, you're not doing this until you're out of our house. Because they were trying to protect me. But I think a part of that, I'm going to do what I want.

And I like this. It was really me taking a stance in my own independence and saying, I've done it your way for all these years. This is what I like and this is what I'm gonna do. So it was a strict household. Was it like a religious household? Yeah, very much. I grew up in the church.

We were there every time the church doors opened and it was, we studied the Bible at a very young age by the, well, I was in the second or third grade, I knew every book of the Bible, like it was that type of home upbringing where we were in the church and we studied the word. I feel like the strictness really came from just like parents just not wanting something to happen to their daughter, you know, because I'm like, I know if I had kids now, like I don't even know if I want to bring a child into this world because how crazy it is, I couldn't imagine the feeling of something happening that I could have prevented, you know, if I

was a parent. So as an adult, I totally get why they were the way they were. They were really just trying to do the best they could to protect me and keep me safe. But in some cases, as growing up, I had to learn lessons kind of late because I didn't get a chance to make those mistakes while I was still at home. So I know that that's how you see it in hindsight. Like, okay, I can understand they were protecting me. But how did 8, 9, 10, 11, 12-year-old crystal experience that strictness?

Um, maybe we can indeed. We are getting deep. He saw I just crossed my heart. It was like a... Is that an act of rebellion? It was an act of why, oh. Um, 8, 9-year-old crystal was definitely afraid of making mistakes. Afraid of getting in trouble.

Afraid of reprimand. And I definitely didn't see it as I feel like it was like, gosh, I can't do anything, you know. At that age, I didn't understand it. But I think a lot of things that parents do is what they were taught and what they saw. Oh, good. Some of the things that, you know, they were just doing their best, still like, hot too as an adult. And you're torn with like, if they hadn't been that hard on me would I be who I am today? Or am I still battling with things because of how it was raised?

Can you share with us your feel comfortable in upsharing with us what's one of the things that you're bad at me with because of how you were raised? It was just the, um, the way I was disciplined, you know, sometimes I just felt like it was harsh, um, and unwarranted at times. Um, I know the Bible says, um, spare the rights for the child. So it's like to what extent do you spare the right, you know, I'm saying, um, I don't know. It sounds like you grew up with a lot of fear.

I did. I did. And it was like, it's crazy. And this is where I guess tricky, because if you looked from the street view of my upbringing, you would have been like, this girl I want for nothing. This is a happy family, beautiful family. But there were generational curses that bled into my generation when it was time for me to be raised. And things that I'm trying to unlearn and forgive and forget,

that are really hard to, and as an adult, you try to be empathetic to your parent because you know that they were only doing what they were taught. You know, so it's like a, it's a double-edged sword where you're trying to understand like, I know you were the way you were because of how your parents were to you. And that's all you knew. You were doing the best you could. But now I'm fucked up. Like, I can't, you know what I can, like put it in any better way than that.

There's a beautiful dichotomy there, because there's the crystal that grew up with so much fear, but there's also the crystal that rebelled. And it's fearless. And what's fear this? Yeah, no, seriously. So how do the two coexist? You know, I almost feel like the fearlessness

was a defense mechanism, you know, to show they're like, I am not this fearful little girl. I can do anything I want to do, and I don't have to be scared of making mistakes. It got to a point where, and I still struggle with perfection, being a perfectionist to this day, because I want to make sure everybody's happy. I want to make sure I please everybody.

I don't want to get in trouble. To this day, even with work, people may be funny because I'm always like, you want to run it. I just want to make sure I know everything I want to be on par. I want to have everything memorized. And it's because I don't ever want to let anybody down. I want to make sure I'm hitting my mark in every part of my life.

And as a child, I just want to wanted to make sure I did everything right, but I wasn't doing anything right, and that's why I was getting trouble. And it got to a point where it felt like sometimes, like, nothing was good enough, you know? But I say that, and then, in the same breath, I say that I had a great childhood. Like, there was nothing that I wanted that I didn't get.

Two-parent household, beautiful homes. My dad built every house we lived in. Um, brand new card, 16. Like, everything a kid would want. Like, I had that, you know what I'm saying? Class president, class favorite of every year. I was in the yearbook for class favorite from middle school through high school,

in student council, captain cheerleader, like I was all those things, but it was times where I didn't wanna be alive. It sounds like that was a lot of pressure. Because it sounds like you were always performing. Which is why I'm so good at what I do now. Mm-hmm. That sounds like a lot of pressure for the little girl.

It's a lot of pressure. Mm-hmm. And I, um, I remember, like, sitting in my room listening to Kirk Franklin's, hoping now, and I still listen to his on the day, and it makes me weak, because I just, I was like, it was too much. Like, I can't take it. And I see how people can, I can't take it. And I see how people can look so perfect from the outside.

And you wonder, how did they kill themselves? And I'm like, I get that. And I've never talked about this out loud to people. And I think the only reason I feel console sharing it now is because if I had acted on those impulses, there would be no Chris Renee Hazelette. And the life that everybody sees wouldn't exist.

And I know there's people that are hurting and that are fighting with these same feelings and impulses to just end it all because they feel like it's just too much, it's too much. But I just want people to see that the person that they just like look up to and admire so much has been there. And I got through it, still getting through it, and working through it, you know. How do you sooth that little girl? Because that little girl never leaves. She never leaves. She never leaves. That little girl never leaves.

She doesn't. You know what? Oftentimes I look at how gracious God has been, the things that He brought me through, how He protected me, and everything that I went through made me stronger. the things that he brought me through, how he protected me, and everything that I went through made me stronger. And it's, in a way it was like a hazing,

you know how like you, you have like stories and fraternities where they break you down so that when you go out in this world, nobody, it's like, it's nothing you can say to me. That's going to tear me down because I had been torn down. Like, what are you going to do? Like, and that's just, I feel like that's what it was in some instances where

I was just like, this is just too much for a little girl to take. Do you, um, Do you, I know this, but I don't know if the world knows this, that you lost your mom at a really young age. Are you comfortable talking about that? About your mom? Yeah. My mother and dad, they actually met in college. They had me, they got married, and it was, I was two years old.

She had a brain aneurysm, and it just left me and my dad by ourselves. And to this day, my dad doesn't really talk about it. My cousin once told me, he said, you were in bed and your mom was dead. She wasn't answering the phone. And that's how my dad found me with my mother dead next to me. And there are so many times in my life I wonder how life would have been if she was still here. You wonder like, God, why did you take her away? It's such a young age like, well, I can never gotten to know her, you know? And it hurts, but I can't imagine what it would hurt like if I did actually get to know her and had that real connection.

But like people have come up to me and say that I remind them of her. And that makes me happy that like people see me in her. Or see her in me. Did you ever experience... I know that you grew up in a household that was both religious and spiritual. Did you ever experience anger at God? Like feeling that you robbed me of an experience with a mom?

There were times where I was like, God, why did you take her away? Absolutely. I wondered why he did that. Why I had to go through the things I did as a child. Because I don't think my mom would have done that. What have done what? Like, raised me the way I was raised. Yeah. How do you feel that not having been raised? Because you still had a mom.

Absolutely. And I don't want to take nothing away from that. That's my mom. Like, that's the only person I know, like from, she married my dad when I was five years old. So I don't want to take anything away from her because she did step into that role. And I want to be very careful not to bash her or disrespect her.

bash her or disrespect her. Because I know she just did what she thought was best. You know, I'm saying I have to be honest with myself when it comes to that. But at the same time, I have to also be honest with how it affected me. You know what I'm saying? I can't just be like, oh, I know that this, you only did what you thought was best

and you were just repeating what was done to you or what you saw. I still have to hold it accountable to like how to fix me and what I need to do to like stop it from continuing. I had to break the cycle and break the curse, so to speak. So is that one area of your life where you feel that maybe the lesson here is, this is the storm,

where you perfect your forgiveness? Wow. Whew. The storm where I perfect my forgiveness. That's good. I feel like I'm in a space in my life now where I am rethinking the circumstances.

And looking at it through a different lens, even though it still brings you the tears, just rethinking a lot of things and understanding I'm not a victim, you know, and also knowing that people have really been through some messed up stuff worse than what I've been through, and will look at my swim like, girl, please, what are we talking about? This was done to me, and it's like,

you look at them like, do I even really have anything to talk about? But I know that if I were to have kids, I know that if I were to have kids, I would do a different... Before we shift gears, I'm curious, what would Crystal today tell that little girl? Ooh, yeah. Crystal today, we'll tell that little girl, baby girl don't worry.

Everything that you ever dreamed of is going to happen. You are going to be the one that carries a legacy. You're going to be the one that carries a legacy. You're going to be the one that the world sees. You're going to be the one that people look to and everything that you're feeling right now because you live, somebody else is going to live. This is gonna look... You like singing like Cindy on? Cristina! Cristina! Cristina!

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I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried

I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I'm worried I You know what I love about your story and this is a good segue into that is that every single year it's almost like he trusted you with this, you stood it over properly and he went like this and then you stood it over properly, that he went like this, and then you stood it over properly, and then he went larger, and then he stood over properly, and then he went larger.

Yeah. And so I think we should tell people a little bit about your backstory. Because if you graduate at college, you move to DC, start working for the US Senate. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to say. I interned for the US Senate my junior year in college.

My senior year they called me and said, hey, we have a position open. We want you to come back to DC. So my parents were like, yeah, that's a great job. Benefits, I said, yeah, they're like, go. So I moved to Washington, worked on Capitol Hill. I was a legislative correspondent for the Health Committee, which stood for Health Education, Labor and Pensions.

I worked for Senator Lamar Alexander, my senator from Tennessee. And it was definitely, I feel like DC is where I found myself. Like I literally found myself in DC, like my personality, my sense of style. I feel like all that kind of came together when I moved to DC. And from there, I worked for two years,

two and a half years on the Senate. And something one day I was just like, I was sitting behind the desk, and it was something was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. Why are you sitting behind this desk? Like, you know this is not what you're called to do. And we had just, it's funny because when President Obama

was running, he was in Senate first and he was running for president, I had an opportunity to go work on his campaign, but I ended up not leaving. I was like, I'm not gonna leave you and go do that. Cause the Senate Senator Sanders, and I was like, what we gotta do to keep you? So I was like, what would we do to keep you? So I was like, hey me.

So I got what I wanted and I might end up staying with him. And sure enough, Obama won presidency. I couldn't have been working in the White House. That wasn't my journey. So I told him, I said, hey, I want to move to Atlanta. I'm going to go pursue music and acting and he knew I could sing and he was like, I support that whole heartedly. He was like, go and he was like, I wish you will. He said, just don't forget about us when you get famous. And I was like, okay, and I moved to Atlanta.

I didn't have anything. My uncle let me stay in his room. Before you continue though, that decision and courage doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't. It's um, it's that decision does not happen overnight. It's a, um, it's sitting in a season of, um, uncomfortableness knowing that it's that uneasiness of knowing I'm not doing what I was put on earth to do. And um, you sit there long enough, it's gonna really start eating away at you. And the guys at Port-Montos, I can't do this.

I gotta take a leap of faith and figure it out. And I had some amazing people in my corner. They were very supportive. They were like, okay, come on, this is what you wanna do. We're gonna support it. I have people in the music industry. They're like, when you get here, we got you. My uncle's like, you can stay in my spare room.

You're good. And I did that and it was the hardest year of my life. It was just a lot of like, did I make the right decision? Lord, I know you didn't bring me here for the reason, but what's happening? And I got in up getting a job at the complex, ran by DeVine Stevens, who was a choreographer usher and many other people, super talented guy. I always find myself around what I wanna do.

So he had an artist development center, Dan Studio, Salon, and a gym in one place and I worked at the front desk for it. And he had a studio. He found Lady Gaga, worked with ACon, found ACon, and signed him. And he was also someone who helped me through that time and really trying to navigate Atlanta when I first moved here. And I just kept hitting nose after nose. I started doing background work for movies because I wanted to get my foot in door with that. And I started kept hitting those after notes. I started doing background work for movies so I wanted to get my foot in door with that.

And I started making some connections with never booking anything. And I ended up working getting a job as a PA at Tyler Perry Studios in 2012. And I was... Tell us a little bit about what a PA is. Because I think people really need to understand. Yes.

Like what a production is. Yes. A production assistant is the person that just does anything that the production needs. I was assigned to the casting department. So they had entailed I'm going to get the designers breakfast every morning, getting there before they did. I would do all the product placement for the show. I was one making the phone calls called and leave I saying hey I'm working on a show. New show produced by Oprah Winfrey in Tyler Perry and we wanted

to know if you guys could send us some clothes for our actors because a lot of times you save your budget by getting product placement by different companies and I did that I would go right now and I would fly clothes to set basically you're there to do whatever they need you to do there's no like I'm coming to work and this is what I do no you do whatever we need you to do and it was not a glamorous job it literally I went from making a great living to I think it was like $500 a week, it was something like crazy. Yeah, a major adjustment in pay and lifestyle.

But I knew they're like, I'm around what I want to be around and guys gonna make a way. So, I did that for three months and I got promoted to dressing the background. I just background for, I think, a year. And then I got promoted to dressing the main actors. And from there, like, I was actually on set, so I was able to study. I would watch the monitor and I would pay attention to their clothes, but then I was watching, I was studying their acting and their reactions and the timing.

And it was like being in a master class and getting paid for it. And I was like, this one I'm making good money, when I want to say, costume was made pretty good money, and that's when things started to shift. And Tyler took a liken to me and I went to work on a movie with Jamie Foxx, Gabrielle Union and TI, and I got a call from Tyler Perry Studios, and it was the president at the time. He said, hey, I'm calling because Tyler

wants you to costume design, though, coming movies, or upcoming shows. And I said, me? And this time I'm starting to get call back. So I'm still grinding the whole time. Even when I was costumein' and PA and all that stuff, I was doing lunch, I would get that stuff, I was during lunch, I would get auditions, I would rundown stairs, tape them, run back upstairs, eat, it was a constant

grind. I was actively pursuing what I wanted to do while I was working. And a lot of people don't want to do that. A lot of people think that it just happens overnight and they're like, well, I just want to do this. No, you got to work while you trying to do what you want to do. And it's not always easy. It was exhausting. I would literally be on set behind the scenes, trying to learn lines for audition. I need to get on tape to get back up to work.

And it was like, go, go, go, go, go. And I had auditioned for a few roles at the studio, never got them. And when Tyler called me to do that, I was like, I thought he had seen my auditions and I was like, then he must not think I can act. So I really was kind of like, damn, okay, maybe I do need to think of another career choice.

So I prayed about it and I took the position and then shortly after that, I got another call asking me to be his stylist to help revamp his closet. And then that turned into being his stylist for five years. And at that point, I made a conscious choice to not audition for anything, to solely focus on Tyler, because being his Tyler's a big mogul, like his life,

and things he has going on, is like a 24-hour job. So I had to dedicate everything to him for those years. And fast forward to 2019. Sisters came about, we're having a conversation and he was like, you can be a part of it. And I was like, well, in what way? And he was like, you can produce it. I was like, I was already costume designing everything he did. And I was like, okay, cool. So I'll costume design and produce it. Great. Still not thinking I'm ready to tap back into acting. As the script start coming out, I'm like, these are my stories.

This is my life. Oh my gosh, like, this is it. I was like, this is the moment. This is, now this is when I need to say, hey, Tyler, I want to act. So I got the courage to do it. And we talked about he's got something for you. It's going to be a small role.

And what you do with it is on you. She can stay small. She can go as big as you want it to. And I looked at that man, I said, I will not let you down. And to see that, like, Fatima came on to the scene. Nobody knew her name. She was Andy's assistant, season one, and then she ended up running it, literally running into Zach, and the two

of them and their relationship began to bud, and the audience just fell in love with them. And I remember this day, clear as day, we were sitting off a team as bad Tyler walks in, we're on the set, Zach and I, DeVal, and Tyler stops and he looks at us and he goes, I like this, and just walked away, we were like, what does that mean? And DeVal's like, we're going to get her over show. He's like, I feel it, I feel it, Chris, that they love us. And I was like, man, I don't know. And sure enough, a year later, we're here in chatter among the crew and they're like,

say, team is coming. The team is coming. We're like, what? It's on the production schedule. It's on the calendar. We were like, oh my God. And Tyler came to my birthday and he gave a beautiful speech about when you honor another man's God will bless you.

And somebody came up to Tyler and said, you really gonna get Christ our own show? And he said, that girl gave me five years of her life. You think I'm not gonna bless her? And that's the heart of Tyler Perry. He once he realized that's what I wanted to do and saw how I served him and never said anything. And I'm talking about I gave how I served him and never said anything. And I'm talking about, I gave that man 150% every day, like whatever he needed, I was there.

And that's not the service that she usually give from somebody who has another dream. And he saw that he was like, I would have never known that's what she wanted to do. And if I hadn't said anything, I would probably still be silent, Tyler, you know? making a great living because Tyler Perry takes care of his people thank you Tyler. I always say thank you Jesus in Tyler Perry. Thank you for being a vessel because he is he's a man of God he has a big heart and he's changed so

many lives and he definitely changed mine. And it encouraged me every day to join Bigger. And even to this day, like some days, what I think is big, he's like, girl, you are not thinking big enough. What I love about that story is that you, like, all I hear is that you were in a preparation season, not to you. And perhaps some people listening and watching this felt like, wow, that was a long time, because that's what, five, six years, right? But then when you experience the glory maybe of that preparation season

It's almost like it could have like I could have even waited longer For this to happen. Yeah, were you prepared? Did you feel that you were prepared for when all of this happened? Because it was, I mean, you hit the scene and you like became a fan favorite. Yeah. Rather quickly. I was prepared. It had been 10 years since I moved to Atlanta. And they always say it takes 10 years to make an overnight success.

And I moved here in 2009. Sisters was really lit 2019. We shot the first season in 2019 so by that time I was ready. I was like let's go I've been waiting for this moment and I was also ready in different ways not just to act and do what I always wanted to do I was also ready to be responsible over what was about to come into my life and that was not not knowing at the time that when, and God has a way of doing this,

he did this with, right before I came a casting designer, the designer before, she had an assistant, but she always wanted me around. And I'm like, why is she always asking me to come and I love her, it was genetically an incredible casting designer. But I never understood why she always wanted me to be right there with her instead of her assistant. And a year later, I get the job to be incredible casting designer, but I never understood why she always wanted me to be right there with her instead of her assistant.

And a year later, I get the job to be a casting designer and then it's like, ah, God, I see what you're doing there. You were making sure I knew what to do when this guy put in my lap. He already knew, I know the plans that I have for you. Maybe. Come on. Come on, revolution. Yeah.

Come on, let's count the show. And then the same thing happened with Tyler. And he didn't know it. He just thought he had a great stylist, but what he was doing was teaching me how to handle business because a stylist is a very intimate position. You are around this person all the time. They're having phone calls, conversations, you're at dinners with them. You see everything.

You see their whole world. I got to see how Tyler handles stress, how he handles the pressures of the life, the empire that he's built. I got to hear business conversations and how he handles business. I saw the heart of the giving heart that he had and I was like, okay, all these things, I'm learning so much, I'm learning how to move in this space, tie it on moving in kind of way. And I was first, I was like, why are you doing all that?

Now I understand, you gotta move different when God puts you in certain places. You have to manage your money different. You have to give different, you know, and you can't get stingy when God blesses you. And these are all things that I learned right before was time for me to be pushed into that light. And I was able to handle it so gracefully

because I had been taught. Yeah, and I know that God was like, I'm a place where He places me in the right places. And I always just say, God, I know you not put me around all these successful people for me to be mediocre. I know, because like it started off in college. Like, he had me around millionaires in college. I'm like, I know, because like it started off in college, like he had me around millionaires in college.

I'm like, I know you're not putting me around these people, it expose me to this. If this is all you want for me, you got something bigger for me. It's almost like he was dropping hints. Or very early, yeah. What I think is very interesting is, and where I think, like that anointing over your life was so clear, was that in the midst of you having your heart burning for this dream, you understood, I have to serve, though.

I deserve. And I could only imagine the amount of dreams And I could only imagine the amount of dreams that are six feet under right now, because they were too proud to serve. What created that discernment in you to say, and you didn't stop, but you still gave 100 to where you were called to serve. Because that's where it becomes a problem right when people start feeling like, I'm not supposed to be here, they show up with nasty attitudes. What gave you the discernment to make sure that you were responsible here in your waiting

season? I'm going to tell you what it was. When that opportunity came to me, I prayed I said, God, if this is what you want me to do, make it plain, I need you to order my steps, because I don't know where I'm going. And I knew that I wanted to be creative, and as long as I was working in the creative space, I was going to have fun. Because I love fashion, I love film and television, and it wasn't always just about being in front of the camera for me.

So I was like, if this is what you want me to do, like order my steps and just make it very clear this is what I was supposed to do. And he did that and I said, all right, guys, this is what you want. I'm going to give it a hundred and ten percent. We're going to do this thing. I'm not going to have to do nothing. So I've always been, I've always had the heart of a server. I always want to make sure, even like how I host. Like I'm very like, are you good? Do you need anything server. I always want to make sure, even like how I host.

Like I'm very like, are you good, do you need anything? Like I always want to make sure everybody around me is good. So I've always had that hospitable energy to make sure that people are good. But I knew that if God put this in, get put this in on my plate, I had to honor it. And I had to be responsible over it, so that whatever was to come from it, if this was to do for rest of my life, I'm going to be the best at it. You know, and I'm going to put my best will forward. And, um, yeah.

Before we transition into your closures, what do you want? Minister to crystal today. What do you want to to crystal today? What do you want to tell crystal today? Crystal today, we have worked so hard to get where you are. This is only the beginning. You always ask God to order your steps and I feel like you should continue to do that because he hasn't steered you wrong yet.

Continue to be fearless, stop doubting yourself, stop doubting what God has already done. Tap back into that little girl that was like, I don't care. I like it. That's what I want to do. Tap into that little bit of that rebellion spirit, but it's more of like a confident spirit, knowing that whatever you put your mind to, you can do it because you've been doing it.

And I would tell her to continue to keep God first. As you continue to ascend, you're going to get busy or in busy or in sometimes busy as a devil's distraction to keep you away from God, but do not allow that to pull you away from God, because as soon as that happens, God's gonna start pulling everything else back. So, continue to stay close to him,

keep him close to your heart, and just continue to be good to people and understand that your living is in your giving, which is something I already live by. Amen. Okay, so positive outcomes. Happy Memorial. I have been working in marketing since I graduated college in 2010.

Lately, I have been feeling like I lacked the excitement for the work that I am doing and I'm feeling an itch to try something new, specifically an entertainment. Every day feels like work. I don't feel like I'm feeling an itch to try something new, specifically an entertainment. Every day feels like work, I don't feel like I'm in my purpose. What scares me is the job security that I currently have. I have a six figure salary and great benefits. What obstacles do you have to overcome to have the courage to quit your job,

to pursue your dreams, and what were the practical steps that you took to prepare yourself to do it? Ooh, okay, that's a good one. So when you get to the point where you can't stop thinking about what you want to do, then it's time to really start making your exit plan, but you have to be smart about it. For me, I definitely had a little savings set up before I might

have just jumped and moved without any type of money saved up. Save up some money that you get at least, I would say try to save up enough to give yourself a year to like live off of pay your bills so that you can at least survive because it's going to be hard when you're transitioning. You're not going to make money right off the bat and it's, who knows how long that period is going to be. But I would say be ready to humble yourself because it doesn't always look, when you try to get into entertainment, I'm not sure what area of entertainment you want to get into, but assuming it is in front of the camera. It's not going to happen the way you see it or think that it happens for other people

because like I said for me it was 10 years before everybody knew who Christopher and Hayesla was. So be ready to be patient, be ready to let the road be windy. A lot of you think it's going to be a straight road and you think okay if I want to do this I need to do this this this and this. No, my journey to get here was so unorthodox. Most people I work with went to an art, a fine art school. They've been classically trained. They've worked on other shows, other plays that came

from Broadway, other people had their own shows that they were on before. Everybody comes from a different journey. I stepped into it without any of that background. But if that's what, if it was for you, then you have to put yourself in position, train, learn as much as you can about that area. And I would say that the practical thing to do is make sure that you have a plan. Don't just jump head first and not have any type of plan in place.

And be smart about it. And I wish you this. You can do it. I'm a witness. I'm a witness. So Chris and Renee Hayes, what are you going through? And what are you growing through? Ooh, I am going through letting go of childhood trauma, and I'm growing through allowing myself not to be perfect, allowing myself to practice excellence and not trying to be perfect.

Alright y'all, this was a doozy. Did you know it had me crying up in here? I wanna thank you guys so much. We like to close off with a keep it, a blank, sweetie. And today, for this one, keep it healing, sweetie. Keep healing, know that it's a process. It's not gonna happen overnight, but anything that you've been through, you can that it's a process, it's not going to happen overnight, but anything that you've been through, you can get through it, seek help, therapy is real and it is very,

very helpful and I advise it to anybody. All right, thank you guys so much for tuning in. If you want to write into our positive outcome, listening letter, make sure you write in to keep it positive, sweetie at gmail.com. You guys can follow me on pretty much everything at luv crystal or nay. That's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all the things, and on my YouTube. Guys, I hope this blessed you the way it blessed me. This in itself was therapeutic.

I didn't know I needed to get that out. Denure thank you so much for helping moderate this episode of Keep It Pies of Sweetie. I could have done this with anybody else because I trust you so much. I love you and thank you. This is a safe space for me. And I couldn't just do this with anybody, so thank you.

All right, guys, until next time, we'll see you and in the meantime, keep it positive positive sweetie.