Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Marinating Over Activating w/ Sarah Jakes Roberts

Episode Date: May 19, 2024

I had the honor of interviewing Sarah Jakes Roberts while she was in town for her Power Moves book tour. Y'all it really felt like I was sitting down with a longtime girlfriend! We talked about her upbringing, family, shame, self worth and our toxic traits. I could not be more proud of the woman that Sarah is and how her ministry is changing lives everyday. Please make sure y'all go out and buy her book, Power Moves. It is now a New York Times Bestseller.

Hey, sweeties, we all know the importance of building a bright future and that includes feeling secure That's why I keep it positive. Sweetie is a proud partner with State Farm a good neighbor who understands the importance of protecting What matters most in the black community? State Farm isn't just about insurance They're committed to investing in our communities because they believe the future of black excellence is a future worth protecting communities because they believe the future of black excellence is a future worth protecting from supporting HBC use to promoting financial literacy State Farm empowers black families to thrive. Stay tuned after the episode to learn more.

Hello and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, sweetie. I'm Crystal Renee Hazlett and today I have with me guys, I'm so excited about this one. I have the Sarah Jakes Roberts. Hi. Thank you so much for coming. I'm so excited. No, I'm so excited. When you, you're on your book tour right now, we got you to stop by.

When you DM me and asking to be a part of the tour, I literally was like, is this a spam message? Is this really her? So I had to go to the pamphlet, I'm like, wait, this is really her. Of course, you're making such an incredible impact. I know that you're gonna add so much value. Thank you so much. I'm so excited.

I'm excited too. I hope to see you guys there tonight. Can't wait. Well, by the time this airs, it would already happen, but I hope to see you guys there. I like to start off each episode with either a quote or a song, and today I thought it would be only fitting to do a quote from your new book. Power Moves! Make sure you guys get it. It is so good and it's so powerful. The quote says, the only thing worse than being powerless is falling for the illusion that power can be amassed

by what you have instead of who you are willing to become. When I read that I was like, that is so powerful because a lot of times we look around like, well, I don't have this, I don't have that, I don't have that, but not thinking, hey, it's really what I need to be to get where I'm trying to go. So I wanted to open up with that

because I know a lot of times people get caught up in the now and like look into where they want to go and like feel stuck, you know. So that really spoke to me. Thank you. Or people who have a lot realize that I still feel empty on the inside. Oh my gosh, you know my street. No, for sure. I feel like, my mom used to always tell me, it's never enough. Like you're never satisfied and I feel like it's, and Tyler always says, once you hit the top of one level, it's like starting all over again at one.

And I feel like that's where I'm in my life right now. Like I reached another level and I'm like, oh gosh, now I'm having to learn everything all over again for this level. It's like trying to find new codes and how to, like a video game, like how do I get past this level? And I'm in that space right now, but that's so true. Yeah. That makes me, what are you learning about this season? You know, that space right now but that's so true. Yeah that makes me, what are you

learning about this season? You know what I am learning is that this is what I prayed for. A lot of times I feel myself getting really stressed out. I'm like oh lord okay I asked you to enlarge my territory but I didn't know this is what came with the enlarging of the territory. So for me I'm learning to just pause. Even yesterday I had a situation with my stylist, not to call you out but I'm calling you out. She Even yesterday, I had a situation with my stylist, not to call you out, but I'm calling you out. She was supposed to send something for tonight, yesterday, and I'm like, hey, where's the clothes? And she's like, oh my gosh, I've been so swamped. I didn't get it. And I'm like in the middle of studying the film next week. And I normally, I would have had a panic

attack, just thinking like, I don't have time. So like, it just messes everything up when everything doesn't fall into place. I'm like, you know what? Give people grace. And you used to be a stylist, figure it out. So like, what's the solution? Cause I used to like have a little pity party. Now it's like, you know what? Find the solution, breathe.

Everything's fine. And everything's fine. That's the main thing. And you still got a job. So, all is well. Don't worry about it. Everything's fine. Yeah, all is well, girl, it's fine.

As long as my clothes get here today. But no, I am learning to give myself grace and give other people grace. Yeah. And that's the main thing because I feel like a lot of times we're so hard on ourselves. I have a, I had, I'm working on it,

a perfectionist spirit where, and it came from a childhood, like, everything had to be right just because I didn't want to get in trouble or I was scared to make a bad grade because I didn't, certain different things I didn't want to get in trouble or I was scared to make a bad grade because I didn't, certain different things I didn't want to happen. So it's like this perfection thing

just carried through my whole life. And even as an adult, into relationships, just everything had to be perfect. And that's just not life. No, not even a little bit. Right, right, right. Seriously, have you ever dealt with anything like that? Man, I think my thing

was once I figured I'd messed up like in the eyes of the church and eyes of my family once I became a teen mom I felt like the bar was so low for me that there was no there was no reason to try and be perfect so I think I just was like we'll try whatever we'll do. And so I think coming to a space where I find worth and value in myself has allowed me to work on my own set of ethics that weren't based on someone else's opinion or perspective of who I was because I didn't have a lot to reach for.

Wow, that is powerful. You touched on 14 year old Sarah. Yeah. I wanna talk to 14 year old Sarah, because we have a wide range. Is this where you're going to try and make me cry? No. OK. No, I'm really, no, no, no.

No, no, no. It rubs hands. No, no, no. But we have like a wide range of age groups in our community. I have high school girls all the way to women, oh, you have to have more mature women, our seasoned women. Yes. So I want to talk to 14 year old Sarah because I know just being the daughter of Bishop, the Bishop TD Jakes,

already carries a weight of responsibility that you didn't ask for even as a child. You know what I'm saying? Growing up in the church and the church can be one of the most judgmental places that there is. What was that like in the mental of 14 year old Sarah realizing, oh my goodness, I've made a mistake. And what you probably felt was a grave mistake in the eyes of a pastor's daughter.

You know, I was so young. So I was technically 13 when I got pregnant. I was so young that the worst thing I could think about was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna get a whooping. I'm gonna get grounded. I wasn't even thinking about the implications of like having a child. All I could think about is how my parents would respond.

It was their response that let me know that this is bigger than trouble. Like your life has changed. There was something about the way they responded that made me realize that this is bigger than trouble. Like your life has changed. There was something about the way they responded that made me realize like, this isn't something grounding's gonna fix. This isn't something that like, we're gonna take the TV away.

I had no idea what it meant to be a parent. I had no idea. And then their grief let me know that this is gonna be hard. And then I began to realize, not only am I gonna have to figure out whatever it means to be a parent at 14 years old, I'm also gonna have to do it with this audience.

And so the first time anyone at the church even knew that I was pregnant, I had my son in October. So my mother's day, my parents knew, the mother's day before I had him. Yeah. And I wasn't showing, but there was a family friend who knew and my father did a prayer for mothers in the church and he asked the mothers to stand and this woman grabs me by my hand and has me stand up.

I just got chills. What? It was that was yeah. Messy. Like girl, what is your, I know Sarita was like, ma'am. But that's, see, I think part of how I think I even ended up pregnant was like, so my parents, when we lived in West Virginia, that's where I was born, we would like, it was a smaller family church, we'd all sit together. When we moved to Dallas, because of just how that church was set up, like my parents sat on the platform and we sat on the floor. And so that separation at like seven, eight years old was the beginning of me feeling

like I don't know where I fit. And then we had 1500 people join the church that Sunday. And so it's like, you mean something to them, but you don't really know what you mean to them. And then I don't have this comfort or security blanket, which would have been my parents. And so she didn't even know until after service. My sister was so upset. My sister was so upset.

That wasn't the place for that. Or her place to do that. How did you feel that moment? Were you just like humiliated? Like what are you doing? Yeah, that was the beginning of shame. That was the beginning of shame. I think before then, like I knew my life had changed.

I was still probably trying to figure out what that meant. I knew my parents were grieving and working through something, but the beginning of embarrassment and ashamed happened before I was even showing. And it just carried on throughout then, wondering what do people think about me or knowing what people thought about me.

People, fast girls are contagious. So we gotta pull our daughters away from you. like what do people think about me or knowing what people thought about me. And you know, people like, you know, fast girls are contagious. So like we got to pull our daughters away from you. So that was an interesting stage. It's funny when you say fast girls are contagious, we had to pull our daughters away from you. I remember my brother, he had gotten in trouble when he was younger.

And as parents, you wanna, when you see other people's children saying, don't hang around him because he's a troublemaker. Yeah. And your son hasn't done anything yet. But then when your son gets in trouble and you feel what it feels like for other parents like stay away from him. Yeah, it's a different feeling. And you're like, Oh, then you realize what that feels like. It's not until it's your child that people are saying, don't hang around that when I don't when she's a troublemaker, he's a troublemaker, that they realize, oh, this is what I was doing too,

to understand their kids. And it's so interesting now that I am a parent, I think that like separation is what we use instead of conversation. So instead of talking about like, what types of conversations are you all having at your age? And like, how did you feel about that and what do you think about your own body and your own,

we don't have conversations, we just separate, which doesn't necessarily keep it from happening because unless we're having communication with our children, we're just setting them up to do something with a different friend group, you know? Exactly, that's so true. How do you have transparent and vulnerable conversations with your kids?

Oh my goodness, okay, because you know now I like I'm probably overboard. They're probably sick of me mom So a few years ago my daughter was singing a song in the car It's like some Lizzo song and she whatever it was I don't remember exactly the song but whatever it was I could tell she was talking about something nasty But she was it had some candy on it so what nasty nasty right and so I paused it and I was like what do you think she just meant by that and she was like I don't know I just like the beat I was like what she's talking about is someone I'm using like the biological names body parts like this

I'm not this happening there I was like in that growth in that terrible let me break this down because I just like, isn't that gross? Isn't that terrible? Let me break this down for you. Because I just want you to understand that part of the messages that are being sent are so sugar-coated that you will be bopping your head to something that you actually think is gross. And I'm like, OK, the beat is like, I'm not trying to take your little shoulder bop away. I just want you to know that while your shoulders are bopping,

they're trying to send you a message. Exactly. And so she was early in her life when we started asking, when we had that conversation. Another thing I've done is I'm like, anything in the world that you ask me, I will answer. Because if you were grown enough to ask me, like if it's circling in your world,

circling in your thoughts, I want you to know that no matter what, if you ask me, I will tell you the truth. And my girls take full advantage of this. I tell my husband sometimes some of the stuff they're asking me. He's like, oh. He's like, don't ask me, right? He's like, do not ask me that. But it's really funny to hear what's happening in their school. Like I'm keeping up with all their friends and like, oh, was she telling my house her friends? How are things with her mom? I'm not like the other moms, I'm a cool mom.

Right, right. I can I can sense that. But it helps me. It helps me to keep a pulse on their world. My kids are really, really important to me. And in the scheme of all of what's happening in my life, I just want them to always feel center stage. And I want them to know that I want to be a part of your world. You're not just in my world.

I want to be a part of your world. And we work towards that. I love that is amazing. I thank you. I wanna be a part of your world. And we work towards that. I love, that is amazing. I thank you. I love being a mom. It's okay, now let me tell you something personal. I go back and forth if I wanna have kids. I'm 41 now.

And I'm like, you know, as we get older, it's harder to have kids. And I go to a change church, Dr. Darius Daniels, and he told the story about Sarah. And I was like, well, maybe I'll have a Sarah moment, where like later on in life, if God's willing, then I'll have a child. But I am so scared to bring up a child

into the world that it is today. Cause it's not like it was when we were growing up. It is so different. And I just think about all the influence from social media to the music. Even like the music we listened to back then, in the 90s, they were saying some freaky stuff too. And now that I'm growing, I'm like, I know. You know, even like the music we listen to back then in the 90s, they were saying some freaky stuff too. They were.

And now that I'm growing, I'm like... I know. I... The fact that I could rap word for word through to Chris's song, I want to do things in the back of the car, I know the moves. I mean, word for word. Word for word. And I know I would say...

When I think about it in context, like, now I'm like, no wonder you got pregnant. It's not like sex didn't exist in your world. Like R. Kelly was out here talking about ignition, keys to ignition, like there was a curiosity in the music. And that has really helped me to forgive myself too, because a lot of times I was just looking at what I did, but not the context that I was raised in when I made those choices.

So my parents are busy, they're working, and I am literally being raised by the culture. I'm being raised by hip hop, I'm being raised by music. And so it was not as far off as people made it seem. Even seeing my daughter years ago, we're listening to a song, she's 14 now, and they're talking about sex in the song. And so it's not as like, oh my gosh,

where did this come from? Right it's everywhere. It's everywhere. And you turn tv on it's on the tv it's in the music it's on social media like everywhere you turn. I was just like oh I was like do I want to bring up a child because I know how protective I am of my nieces and nephews and people I love. I would get on my child's nerves they'd be be like, mama, please. I'm like, what are you doing? Where you going? I totally support the women's, you know, right to be able to say, I don't know if motherhood is going to be my thing. Like, I may be the rich auntie vibes,

because it's very much giving rich auntie vibes in here. Definitely not giving toys. I'm going to be honest with you. Oh my gosh. It's not giving diapers. But you know, you know, it could, it could if you wanted to, but it could not if you don't want it. I got a basement that's all the walls are black.

OK, the dark furniture is dark down there. They can go down there. They can go down there, do all of the messy. My my brother's girlfriend was changing my nephew's diaper on that sofa back there. How did it come? Custom sofa. Yeah. And I came out and said, oh, back there. How'd it go? Custom sofa. Yeah. And I came out and said, ahem, ahem, can you put him on the floor?

She's like, oh, I'm not, she's like, I'm not gonna, can you put him on the floor? Just to be safe. Yeah, just to be safe. Just, I don't need no, mm-mm. I was like, oh, and it's so funny because he'll come through here, hands on everything. Oh yeah, mm-hmm.

And sometimes I tell the cleaning ladies, just leave that there. Just so I can see like his little hand in front of the window. And I'm like, well, maybe I could. It is an incredible journey. It's an incredible journey to see a version of yourself, but also to experience this person who has their unique imprint and identity.

It's petrifying. It's exciting. But it's one of the things I love. It is, I mean, I love being my husband's wife, but it's one of the things I love the most in my world. That's amazing. You talk about how you want your children to feel like they're a part of your life, not just in your life.

In a part of her book, you, let me get to the note. You talked about, here we go, you talked about here we go you talked about imagine me stand imagine with me you're standing in an empty parking lot with reserved spaces you can't tell what each spot is labeled but each time a new expression of your identity is added a car pulls into a spot eventually you see that there are spots labeled child friend sibling partner leader student entrepreneur or colleague. Each spot with its own car. When you are navigating the responsibilities of your life, you're moving from one vehicle to the next. So you were on this tour, Seven City Tour.

How are you finding time for your children, your husband, your team? You got so much going on. Like how do you balance it all? Preaching, you're doing everything. Well I put a lot of time in with the family before I go on the road. That's good. A lot of time. So my husband and I are usually taking them to school. My husband and I are picking them up. So my whole world fits around their school schedule. That's amazing. Like after 2 30, I can't take any meetings. Like maybe I could take something at 4 30 when I get home, but my world centers around them when I'm home. So that when I tell them that I need't take any meetings. Maybe I can take something at 4.30 when I get home, but my world centers around them when I'm home. So that when I tell them that I need to take some time

to do the thing that I get to do, that I love to do, that makes me feel fulfilled, they are more willing because I put in a lot of time at home. Even then we're doing a lot of texting, a lot of FaceTiming. I was on FaceTime last night with my daughter. She's eight, we were definitely having some girl time, some girl talk, but I stay

in touch with them. Then my husband's on the road with me too and he's like also helping me to facilitate everything connected with the tour, but he's also you know my soft place when it's finished because a lot of this requires me to be more extroverted than I am naturally and to have more energy than I usually do. And I always tell people like, he knows how much it cost me to be me. And so when the day is over to be able to have someone who's like, I know that was expensive,

it grounds me. That is so good. I'm the same way. I am like introverted, but then they tell me I'm the most introverted extrovert person they know. Really? Yes, because my social battery runs very fast. Okay. And I'm like okay I need a minute. I go to my corner so I can recharge and then I come back and I'm like okay let's have some fun.

Betsy I'm only introverted. I sense it when you're coming you're like I can feel it. I'm so weird. I be trying to tell people. They're like, I would love to spend the day with you. I was like, you would be so disappointed. I am so socially awkward, it's not even funny. Like it takes so much for me to be like, all right, I'm gonna go talk to people, like in a room full of people. Girl, it's really sweet of you. People think because you can put words together

that that means you're not introverted. But it's like, just because I know how to use words, doesn't mean I want to use it. Right. That part, you know, that is so true. I'm the same, literally the same way. My friends tell me that I said, she'll ask me if I want to do something.

I'm like, no. No. And she goes, you say no so easy. And like, with no, like, no, because, there is no because, no. I can't do it. I can't, I can't. I can't.

Denora will tell you that there are times where I'm like, oh, I just need a minute. And she's like the best housemate, because she knows as soon as we're done working, go to our respective corners. She goes upstairs. Let's take a break. Yeah.

And it's almost like nobody's here. And I'm like, this is great. Yeah, I love that. I love traveling with people who don't make me feel like we're traveling together. Yes, yes. I learned that with Tyler. Oh, really? Styling him, yeah. I learned that with Tyler. Oh really?

Like styling him, yeah. Understanding that this person has a million things going on. They don't need me talking. They just need to feel like you're not there almost. That's a thing. That's a thing. Cause a lot of times when I am working

with someone intimately, like they're like, now here's my chance to like tell you all of the things that I want to tell you. It is not, I need you. You're doing this? I need you. I need you. Eee not, I need you. You're doing this? I need you. Ew. Ew.

A little less please. Are you my kid? Especially because, I mean, when I'm with my kids, like they're talking 24 seven. So if I'm, I'm constantly around talking. So silence refueled me. So I need silence. Saying I am the same way.

Oh my goodness. You talked about Tare being your, Pastor Tare. Can I, what's the title? I'm gonna make sure I'm doing it the respectful way. Pastor Tare being your soft face, especially on the road. Do you remember the first person that made you feel seen and safe? Oh, okay. Yes.

The first, I'm gonna say people who made me feel seen and safe were the people who were around my parents. So there's their head of security, who is my son's godfather, Sean Smith. There was a gentleman who works in our home. His name was Anthony Smith. He died suddenly and it felt like, you know, losing an adoptive father. But he was there throughout my pregnancy and said, baby girl, you're going to be all right.

Like baby girl, you're going to make it through this. And Cammie Garner, who was my mom's assistant, she's still a part of my mom's team and she's been there for like 20 years. Even though my parents were balancing all of these things, there were these people around them that took such good care of me that they made me feel seen and valued

just for who I was. That is beautiful, that is beautiful. Cause I know oftentimes, I'm sure being Bishop Jack's daughter, you feel like it takes a team. For sure. And I'm sure those people helped fulfill a lot of those spots where maybe daddy wasn't there,

mama wasn't busy. Exactly. Cause when he was all over the world all over the world the world especially especially at the age that I was growing up things had like really taken off hey sweeties have you ever wondered what's in the products you use on a daily basis well let me tell you about L. L like like the letter, is a brand committed to providing you period care products inspired by nature, made without dyes, fragrances, and synthetic pesticides. Their pads have a breathable cotton top layer and a plant-based core, and their tampons contain an organic cotton core. Now, not only can you feel good about Elle's ingredients, but also Elle's price. With tampons and pads that protect for under $5 a month,

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It was just like we we didn't know like when he was coming, when he was going. But there were these people who would like take the time to be there for us and told us around the things. And yeah, God sent help. Yeah, no, for sure. It wasn't long ago that your father passed down the torch of Woman Thou Art Loose, and in that moment, he didn't lose his power, but you gained a huge set of responsibility

and power in that. What was that like? So everyone knew that Woman Thou Art Loose was coming to an end, and they were like, you know, you're next, you're next. But Woman Evolved had already existed. So I was a little confused with like, I don't know what people like, I don't know what y'all think is about to happen here because like you can't... Well he put that coat on your solo. Done. I was like, first of all, he dragged me solo.

He dragged me solo. First of all, I'm like, okay so he's gonna honor honor what WOM and EVOLVE is in the context of WOM and the Artless. I'm like, that's the extent of it. Maybe he's gonna tell people, hey, WOM and EVOLVE. But I did not think it was gonna be this whole entire thing. And it was a thing. It was a thing. It was a whole thing. Down to a video of how we got here. And yeah, so that was ugly crying for the world to see.

There was probably tears for the whole year. Oh, you know, I have a limit. Yeah, I have a limit. So I can't fool with you today. So don't even, I'm not really, you know what I mean? I'm a little because I don't know what you're trying to do to me today. I got you. But I will say that above like what it meant for like woman evolve and woman that are loose, like that was to do to me today. But I will say that above what it meant for women evolve and women that aren't loose,

that was less important to me as much as, and I didn't know this until afterwards, the fact that my father has poured so much of his life into women that aren't loose. And for him to say, I'm gonna lay this at your feet, my influence, the knowledge that I have, these people who I have walked through so many different stages of life, I trust you with them and I trust that you can handle whatever comes with this platform. It restored a part of me that felt like I'd lost

his trust, you know, not just through my pregnancy, but after I got pregnant, I was just kind of like, I just prepare for disappointment out of me. Like, I'm not gonna do any of the things you want me to do. I waitress at the strip club, I dropped out of college, they bought me a car when I was 16. I was like, you know what, I don't want the car, because I don't want you thinking you won't be able to tell me what to do.

Like, I'm my own person, I gave the car back, I went to a car lot, got my own car. Like, I was constantly like, I don't want the expectations, I'm gonna make it on my own person, I gave the car back, I went to a car lot, got my own car. I was constantly like, I don't want the expectations, I'm gonna make it on my own. And I did, I got this incredible job, and I was looking for an Air Force contractor, and then I became a receptionist, an office manager, government clearance, I was making my own path.

And I think I began to prove to him that I had the work ethic to take care of myself and he was like, all right, you know, I didn't agree with the path you took but I see that you're making headway. But I don't know that I ever felt like the trust was fully restored from those moments. Until that moment. Until then. Wow. So how over you then, like, how much time had passed till you feel like this has been restored in this moment? I think I will say that I felt like he respected me. I felt like he loved me. I felt like there had been

Forgiveness, but my dad's life he has poured his life into his work Yeah, and he's very protective about his work. So that level of trust, man, I mean, 20 years. Wow. Yeah, 20 years. So now you are carrying this torch. You're an assistant pastor at Potter's House in Dallas. What does that weight feel like? And how do you carry that every week?

Because I'm sure like, those are some big shoes to step into. I do not see it that way. I do not see it that way. I don't see it that way. I think if I saw it that way, it would scare me. Yeah, because I would be scared. Yeah, that's what I would imagine. So that's good that you're not.

Yeah, I don't see it that way only because I never asked for this. So when we were in Brooklyn, we're standing in this beautiful theater. And I'm like, there are sometimes I don't always feel, I guess, deserving of the influence and the impact, because there are some people who are like I always knew one day that I would be standing in a room like this I always knew one day that I would inspire millions of people I never felt that way I never like wanted this I want to be a good steward over it I love it I respected I honor it but I never wanted it. I love it, I respect it, I honor it, but I never wanted it.

And I'm careful to try and manipulate something that God placed in my lap. I feel like my responsibility is to protect it, not manipulate it. And so even with us being positioned in Dallas as assistant pastors, I feel like my job is to stay pure, to stay authentic, to stay obedient, but not to then think that this is something that is mine

when it's something that God's given me. So it's interesting. Yeah, you saying that you didn't feel deserving and in your book you dedicated it to anyone who wonders if they are enough. Yeah. So I understand that now because I know there's still today there's moments where I'm like,

I don't know if I'm made for this or I don't know if I deserve that. And even the life that I live, cause I've made mistakes, we've all made them. And a lot of them we carry it harder than God does. A lot of them forget it was for, and I'm still carrying this on my back like, Oh Lord, please, you know what I'm saying?

Like just praying that I've been forgiven for certain things. And then to look around like, I am so undeserving, you know? And then trying to get out of that saying, no, I'm a child of God. This is what he wants from me, you know? At what point did you, or have you gotten to the point where you feel like I am enough? I do deserve this.

Or do you still walk in there like, I know you said that you're like, dang. I don't know that I feel like influence is something that like I deserve. I wanna say this right, because I know what I feel in my heart. It's something that I honor,

but I see God loving on me, not from the fact that I have influence or that my life means a lot to a lot of people. I see God loving on me in the way that love comes through the people who are closest to me. And that I have been able to accept. I will say that one of the things I'm like trying to work through,

sometimes when I'm on the road, people are like, oh my gosh, I love you so much. And your messages have helped me, they've touched me. And one of the things I'm working through is like, that doesn't feel safe to me because I think that, I think there's a lot of it's rooted in what I've gone through. But the idea that someone can love you, but you could disappoint them and then you could be the girl that nobody wants to be around anymore, makes me feel unsafe with that level of love.

And so I think that I keep a healthy distance with the influence part of it. And that could be healthy or not healthy. We'll see, I'll talk to my therapist about it. But it's hard to feel safe in influence. So the influence part, I just try to honor and protect, but my family, that's where I feel God's love the most. Absolutely, oh my goodness. It's where I feel God's love the most. Absolutely. Oh my goodness.

It's so crazy sad because as my, I don't like to call them fans, but my community grows. So many people kind of stand over me like that. Oh my God, crystal, crystal, crystal. And that level of love, you're my best friend in my head. You're my sister in my head. I love you so much. I wake up and watch your videos every day. You kept me alive.

I didn't kill myself because of you. That's a different, it's scary. It really is. And like you said, one day you can love me. And if I do make one mistake, your written, council culture is real. And we see it happen all the time. I want to believe like,

so I call the community that's connected with woman involved the delegation. And I part of why I've been really intentional about like being authentic and like here I am, I'm on a journey just like the rest of you, is that like I know I may disappoint you at some point. I'm not intentionally going to disappoint you. Like I'm not out here living one thing and saying a different thing. Like I am a woman of integrity and I'm living the very thing that I say to you. Even then I know that we may not agree about some things and I want to believe that like we can work through and grow through anything,

but I don't know. Like yeah because people like they're so quick to cut you off. Yeah for sure. Yeah so I understand when you say like your family knows are close to you where you feel the safest and the most loved. Is it the same way with me because I know these other people is going to ride with me if I fall down they're going to help me get back up. For sure. They're not just gonna like walk over me and be like, all right girl, we're done with you. I know. I want to believe though, and sometimes I remind myself of this because even the people who have been canceled. You'll know real when you get it. It'll say eBay Authenticity Guarantee and you'll feel it. Maybe it's a head-turning handbag, a watch that says it all.

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you finally step into those sneakers, put on that watch get your real gold glow up, swing that handbag over your shoulders, or step out in that streetwear, you'll realize that feeling is unlike any other. With eBay Authenticity Guarantee, you can trust that feeling of real is always in reach. Ensure your next purchase is the real deal. Visit eBay.com for terms. I haven't been canceled. Like there are still some people who really rock with them or like, you know, I love them. And so I also don't want to make the people who would be willing to grow with me

feel like I don't trust them either. Cause there are some people, I mean, you know, I've seen a lot of people who look like, oh my gosh, this is their downfall. They're never going to recover from this. But there was a space created for them. So I don't know, we'll see what happens. Oh, that's so true. You talked about, you're going to be a face creative for them. So I don't know, we'll see what happens. That's so true.

You talked about, you're going to talk to your therapist about it. A lot of people don't want to mix Jesus with therapy. When did you realize that God did create other tools of resources that you could talk to someone and still believe that your source is Jesus Christ? My relationship with God has become much more deeper as a result of me being in therapy.

Because there were moments where I felt something that I could not give language, so my prayer was not as effective. You know, just kinda like, God help me, God help me, God help me. But to be able to say like, God, I am feeling anxious about this transition that's taking place in my life, and I need your spirit to meet me in the place of my anxiety.

Like my prayer life became so much better. It was probably honestly, after I dropped my book, Woman Evolved, it hit the New York Times Best Sellers list and one of my friends came over, she was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, and I was like, hmm. You know what I mean? Like I was like, I feel like I should probably be happy about this, but I don't feel anything at all.

And so I started reading some books and then once I went through a few books, I'm like, you probably should talk to someone. But what I learned is that I have just been emotionally frozen because I was overwhelmed by shame and regret and depression that I can function and work and hit markers and hit goals, but I can't celebrate myself.

I don't know joy. I don't even know anger. Like people can disappoint me. I don't let it get to me because I won't own or advocate for what I'm feeling in any given moment. And so I feel like I've become a much better partner, a much better leader and a much better believer as a result of me going to therapy.

Yeah, same. My therapist definitely opened me up. My therapist and I just talked about what I just learned was the mother wound and you did an episode with your mom entitled Trauma to Hope. You also read the book which is a book that Denora introduced me to adult children of emotionally immature parents. Yes. What was that like opening up to your mom like in her actually apologizing for not being there the way that you needed her to be? It was interesting because we've never had the conversation before.

I just came to a place where I was like, I'm gonna do this work on my own. I'm not gonna invite either of my parents to be a part of this journey because I don't know where they are and I don't know that they are and I don't I don't know that they're gonna be receptive to this. I'm gonna just figure it out on my own and I think I was actually doing

I was at that stage when we had this conversation and out of nowhere she started it out of nowhere. She said something like I think I was talking about being nervous about moving back to Dallas because I didn't want to you know, I wanted to keep my family close and she was like, please do that. I didn't do that with you all. I was like, Just the accountability and saying it.

She just said it. Like, she just said it. I was like, I didn't, I didn't know that you knew that. Like, I felt that, but I didn't know that you knew that. And that was, I think I instantly turned into a seven, eight year old girl. I was about to say, what did that do for a seven, eight year old?

I was gonna ask you that. In that moment, I know she spoke to that child. Mommy sees me. It was like being at the Potter's House in Dallas, surrounded by thousands of people, and my mom grabbing my hand and saying, I see you, and you're not by yourself. That's like, it doesn't matter how difficult

your relationship with your child has been, even if they're an adult, oftentimes we think it's too late. But that wound is still there, and as long as you're still here, you have an opportunity to speak into that wound is still there and as long as you're still here you have an opportunity to speak into that wound and it really does restore, it really does heal. I think sometimes it can be discouraging for a parent when it's like

okay I can see some areas where I messed up but there's nothing I can do about it now. That's not true. By acknowledging it you can do something with what's left. You can do something with where they're still growing and healing. And my mom did that for me in a way I didn't anticipate. That is beautiful. I was, first of all, we were supposed to just be having like a little cute Christmas chat. And all of a sudden she was like, I didn't do that with you.

And because it was so raw for me, I just immediately broke down in tears. And then she said something, she was like, anything I can clear up, talk about, ask, like you tell me now. She's like, because my mom's not here. And I'll never get answers. And so now I have this woman who's in her 60s saying,

I still have questions that I'll never get an answer to. So as long as that can be your answer, I'll share it. Yeah, that is beautiful. My mom is so, I mean, everyone's like, you know, you're TJ's daughter, and I am. But my mother. Yes, yeah, talk about it. She is the absolute best.

She is so sensitive, but also resilient and strong and hilarious and loyal, and like, she's just the absolute best. I can remember I was going through it. I was in college and I was going to football games in college and they were having like family day at one of the football games but there was this girl, me and this girl had gotten into.

And I was like sending my mom a screenshot of it. We were just talking about it offline. And then so my parents had the football game and I saw the girl coming but I was like, you know, I'm not gonna We were just talking about it offline. And then, so my parents are at the football game and I saw the girl coming, but I was like, you know, I'm not gonna look at her, she not gonna look at me. My mom stands up, I was like, girl, sit down. Girl, sit down, what are you doing? How did you even remember that was her?

Sit down. So she was like, what are we doing? I was like, please sit down. She's that friend. She is that friend. Everybody needs a friend like that. Girl, what we doing? She is that friend. I love that. I was trying to calm her down. She's that friend. She is that friend. Everybody needs a friend like that. Girl, what we doing? She is that friend. I'm gonna handle this now.

I love that. I was trying to calm her down. I'm like, you're 60 something. They think you're a queen. Put your crown on. She's gonna set this aside for right there. For sure. She will take that crown off in a minute.

As she has told some stories, even like on my podcast, at events about like being, doing things. I'm'm just like can you please stop telling people about you stealing she's probably like when you stop telling them you waitress at the strip club okay that's crazy I was out here I told DeNora a strip club story the other day when we used to go out to the club with these guys and they would give us all these ones. I had ends to me too, so I'd be throwing

and putting a little bit of my purse. That's the light bill, right? That's the cable bill. As long as they get spent, they were prepared to spend it anyway. Exactly, I was like, I'm here too to let me get a little bit of this. I'm going to take care of the girls too, but I need to get my cut.

That is hilarious. Your mom, I love that. She's amazing. And that's inspiring. Even for me as I did an episode called Get to Know Me and where I just put it all out there. And just with family and friends, your story's inspiring me to just open up

and even maybe me be the person to bring up the conversation, how your mom just said it, you know? So that's inspiring for me as well. I appreciate that. It's good, it's good. People are more willing to have, like we talk about family sweeping stuff underneath the rug. Like this is the way that we do things,

but I have found that the person who doesn't mind like going under the rug and be like, the way that we do things. But I have found that the person who doesn't mind like going under the rug and be like, hey, can we talk about this? Like they don't mind talking about it. It's just we have been so conditioned to think that we don't talk about it that no one's courageous enough to say, hey, I have some questions. Like I want to know about this person. I want to know what is in them that could be in me too. And I have found that especially for people as they're aging, and I think they're wanting to leave a legacy, they're wanting to leave an imprint

that they're more willing to have conversations than we may give them credit for. I love that. You just blessed me. You talked about how your mother said that I wish I had been there more with your busy schedule and how you're, I mean, you're all over the place.

How do you the God talks about the Sabbath? Do you take time and do you take time to like, actually, this is my day? No, because well, like technically, sure. Like there may be days where I'm not working, but because I have children, even the days when I'm not working, there is an element of working. So I have to be intentional about taking time off. So I think tour ends for me on a Tuesday,

and I'm going home, but I was like, I'm gonna ask the older kids to take the younger kids to school. Because if tour ends on Tuesday, and I gotta be up at six on Wednesday to take kids to school, it's like, yeah, tour is over, but like I just got re-enlisted. It's a whole other battlefield right here. And so I've had to

ask for help to piece my Sabbath together. I used to just wait for a day when I'd be able to take it off, but now I've had to be proactive and asking for help in advance. And let me tell you, doing that, it changed my relationship. It changed the way that I show up in my world. Instead of being the person who allowed people to believe that I have limitless capacity, that I could get off and tour and jump into the mom thing and not skip a beat,

I had to be willing to say, I actually do need to skip a beat because I can't dance this fast. And I think what part of the issue with being like the strong friend or the person who just has so much capacity is there is a little pride, a little ego stroking that comes when somebody's like I can never do that. Did you be like? Hey kids family, it's time to celebrate Black History Month at the Walmart Black and Unlimited Clock. One at Flatiron Plaza in New York City, one at Ovation Hollywood in Los Angeles from 8 a.m to 8 p.m with giveaways dropping every hour on the hour. It's the perfect time to try, like, and share black lead products. It's free, that's right, and it's for everyone and it's your chance to see how you can level up your daily routine with black lead products that are creating a new world of choices at Walmart.

Trust me, you don't want to miss it. But I did. No, I didn't. You know what I mean? Now, I'm probably depressed and I'm car-binge eating and I can't fit my clothes, but I pulled it off. And so I've had to learn to not seek out the accolades that come with over exertion. Yes.

Oh, because we live in this society where it's like you sleep when you're dead. No, I'm asleep after this. I don't believe that. I don't believe he wants that from me. No, me neither. I'm a napper. I have to have, I got to get some rest. Yeah.

So I'm learning to really ask for additional support and not allow my ego to be fed by this relentless you gotta keep going thing. So true. I had to do that. I'm not good at asking for help because I've always had to do everything on my own and then finding good help. You know, like I have like one or two people I can call on and depend on and then everybody else I hire is like...

Well, you know, they're pro... Okay, so, all right. So this is, I don't even know if this is gonna make the podcast at this point, this is so good. One, my message tonight, like God changed my message and I think it's gonna help you, cause it's about asking. Come on, see how you already did that,

you already knew what I was struggling with. It's so ghetto. But, you know part of the reason why I feel like, it's like we can't find good help, is because I, when I can't find good help is because I, when I say I want good help, I want someone who's going to like work through the flu. Like, literally, I want someone who's going to deplete themselves and overexert themselves just like me.

I need you Michael Jordan game six all the time because I were in it and we don't have time for sickness. Like, and that's toxic. I say all of that to say like I don't want you to be lazy like I want you to push it a little bit but like maybe I should stop. No I'm the same way I'm like what do you mean you have a headache what do you mean you're sick? Like you can't come to work because you have a headache. But did you die? But are you?

You breathing? Come on. What are you talking about? Listen. I had a baby at 14. Come on. I had time for no headache. And that's weird.

That's my trauma, setting standards for people. Right. And so I need to give people a Tylenol. But I will say the, I need to give people a Tylenol. But, but I will say the people I work the best with are people who are like, yeah, we are a team of ten people, but if all ten of them fall off me and you could do all of it. Right. And it's not true. But they make me feel good. Yeah, it's like, I like you. I like you. You're sick like me. We got the same disease. Literally.

You stated that one of your toxic traits is believe that you can do anything. Anything. Literally, somebody asked me that and I'm like, I can do anything. I can, no, like I'm not even joking. And like, this is not even a brag. I can do anything.

Like, if God, if God can, if someone else can do what I can do it. I think the same way, Sarah. I'm serious. Like anything. Now I did also say in that same paragraph that like I could build a house. It's gonna rain inside the house.

Like I'm not saying I can do anything, that I can do everything well. Right, exactly. But if you give me a few shots at it, I could get to well. Yes, exactly. I'm the same way. Right, exactly. But if you give me a few shots at it, I could get to well. Yes, exactly. I'm the same way. I just had my live show, and I taught myself how to play piano.

Period. I was like, I'm just going to go buy a piano, get on YouTube, and learn this thing. I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't know if it's my husband's favorite thing about me. I don't know if it's his favorite thing about me. Because I'll be like, babe, like the handyman can't come and the dresser just got delivered. And he's like,

okay, just get him for next week. I was like, I just got the toolkit. The dresser is going to be put together. Now the drawers going to need a little and that is sick. That cannot be healthy. I know it can't. You're like, why didn't you just let me? And I have not learned my lesson. Like if you put my back against the wall right now, if the plane is going down, I can fly it. We're gonna pull the thing back up. I don't believe God put me in this situation. Go out like this. I watched flight with Denzel Washington. He did it high. I could do it with the Holy Ghost. Amen. Come on now. Period.

You are my kind of girl. I'm telling you. I call myself a handywoman. My dad built every house we ever lived in. I grew up on construction sites. I have a toolbox. I have more than most men having in their house at my age. For sure. They're like, you got, I got that. I can do it. They're like, you fixed it yourself.

I'm like, yeah. That was when I got married, I was a single mother with two children. I had my own house. So there were just certain things that like I was not used to asking like a man in the house to do. And my husband was like, why didn't you ask me to do that? I was like, I will ask when I I need but I didn't think I needed so now I'm trying to be more I'm like I'm entering into more of my princess era. Yes. You know where I'm asking for help. We were traveling somewhere we got home

there's this big box that got delivered on a crate stapled shut screws shut and I like got the hammer and he was like what are you doing? What are you you just got off the plane? I was like I want to see what's in the box. What's in the box. Yes. Oh my goodness. We are the same person. That's me. I will like straighten my back trying to get furniture in here.

It doesn't matter. It's fine. I will go to Creighton Barrel outlet and get a whole chair and be like. Because the other thing, I will lift the whole chair by, I want things to be the way that I want them to be. Yes. And I don't want to wait on it. I want it now.

Instant gratification. I need it now. I mean it. Sarah, I'm the same way. I guess them to be. Yes. And I don't want to wait on it. I want it now. Instant gratification. I need it now. I mean it. Sarah, I'm the same way. I guess that is my toxic trait. It's toxic. Oh my goodness. Because when I say back sprung. Sprung.

Listen, OK. When I say back out, and you would think that it would keep you from doing it, but as soon as that back act like she going to be all right. We're back to it. We're back at it. It can't be healthy. I know it can't. It is not. I'm a work in progress. Me too all right? We're back to it. We're back at it. It can't be healthy. I know it can't.

It is not. I'm a work in progress. Me too, girl. We're gonna work on that together. Maybe, maybe. It's gonna be all right because it's been 41 years me doing this. So that's a hard habit to break.

It is. And that's, I don't know, it's something that just, it feels good once it's done. It's fulfillment. Yes. It's fulfillment. I do think that so much of my life is out of my control. That like to be able to do what's in my control,

that feels good to me. I like that. Like there's so much that I'm not gonna, like so much of this is going faster than I can keep up with. I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm so vulnerable. I'm so exposed.

The least I can do is pick this chair up and put it in the corner wherever I want it. Yes. That, the least I can do is pick this chair up and put it in the corner wherever I want it. That's the least I can do. That's real. I love that. I love that for you and us. Oh my goodness. So I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about your husband, the pastor Trey Roberts. You are a powerhouse and he is a powerhouse as well. So how do two powerhouses come together and also keep your individualism and support each other? How does that work? We have a lot of respect for one another. I see that.

We have a lot of respect for one another. It's not a competition. I am fascinated by the gift of God in his life in a way that I can't even be jealous of. Like he's so dope to me that I'm like, I can't even be jealous. I think you can be jealous of something that you think is within reach. It's so out of reach to me. I'm like, I don't even know how you think like that.

I don't know how you do what you do the way that you do. So all I can do is respect it and love it and be grateful that I'm on your squad. Cause I would hate to be your opposition. Do you understand? But it took, like I said, like that part about me, I was a single mother, I'd accomplished enough by myself to make me feel like I could live on my own. And so welcoming in his perspective and his covering and seeing the value in it without being intimidated by it was hard for me

in the beginning stages of our life because I thought that his perspective made mine invalid, not broader. Oh, that's good. Oh my goodness. I can imagine that. Yeah. I remember it was 2020 when I first like really caught on

to One Church LA and I would watch you guys online. And then every time I would visit Los Angeles, I would come to church. And I remember you said, if you're facing the pulpit, you would sit on the left side and the front. I remember that. And I just remember just seeing like, just kept growing and growing and growing.

And then before I know you guys were in Denver and then Dallas, I was like, oh my goodness, but just the way he delivers the message. And then you come up and I are in Denver and then Dallas, I was like, oh my goodness, but just the way he delivers the message. And then you come up and I'm like, wait a minute, these two both are doing it. You know what I'm saying? And everybody gets it. You know, sometimes people preach over your head. You guys are reaching people at the level that they are in a way that we can understand it. We see ourselves and it inspires us to just be better people.

Yeah, that means a lot to me. No, seriously. I wasn't in ministry. I wasn't in ministry when I met him. I was blogging. I was telling my little story, but I wasn't preaching. I wasn't praying out loud.

So I was like, invite me to be on the panel. I'll offer some insights as a collective. So, you know, that Sol dolo thing is not me. And his church was the first church where he was like, listen, if there is any place where you could come and tell your story at a church, like it will be my church. Like you'll be fine. And so he asked me to come speak on a Sunday in 2014.

I was like, oh, I don't do Sundays. Call me on a Wednesday. Baby, Friday night,, Friday night girls night. But Sundays, that's like where the real people are. And so one was very much so the place where I feel like I found my unique voice in ministry. And I just felt like, okay, well one will just be the place where I do ministry because they get me,

they understand me. And so I attribute a lot of my spiritual development to his anointing and my voice being cultivated in the spaces that he created. And then as I became more confident, I think as the gift began to grow and attract other people in other spaces, that he's been a covering for me.

This is like. Now I know financial stuff can sometimes feel confusing or even overwhelming, but listen, you got this. And guess what? Our good neighbors at State Farm are here to support black women on this journey. They understand the importance of financial empowerment in our community.

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like that trip you've been dreaming of or starting your own business. Don't forget to set aside some money for emergencies too because life throws curve balls and you have to be prepared. Now debt happens. I know we hate that word, but it happens. But don't beat yourself up about if you have some. The key is to manage it effectively.

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Oh that's good. That's important to have that type of support as a woman. Just every woman needs that just type of support. It's like baby do you. Everywhere you go. And it's funny so like most of the time when we're in LA, people are like, oh, you're PT's wife. And then in Google, some people are like, oh, you're SJR's husband. So it's like, depending on where we are. Right.

Because like, when I tell you, he is Hollywood, like, on absolute lock. Like, New York, Atlanta. Like, we do not go anywhere without people being like, PT, PT, PT. So that's awesome. When he came in, I was like, PT? Like, without people being like PT, PT, PT. When he came in I was like PT. For sure. So like for me it's cool because I get to see my husband in his lane in his purpose with his unique identity.

I'm in my lane and my purpose with my unique identity and then when we get to come together it's amazing. But what's better than all of that is like when we're doing none of those things and we're at home I took my wig off the other day. I Took my wig off. I was at home. I was scratching my head in the bathroom. It was plates coming out of my head She's like now you better than that Grab your dignity And I was dying laughing because he was so right. Because I had just basically turned into, I went from this to like somebody else.

And we were cracking up laughing because as valuable as those other things are that change the world and touch people, what means the most to us are those moments where we're like clowning on each other. Right. And you can be there for yourself. I love that. That is beautiful.

Honey, the best part of the day is taking the wig off. Do you understand? Getting these bobby pins out of my head. It is the best part of the day. I think my scalp's like a little bit too under here. No, it's not for me to take these braids out. I'm getting them washed tomorrow? It's time. That is hilarious. I love that though. I love that for both of you. Thank you. That is beautiful. Yes. It's funny my 14 year old daughter like she he's been in her life basically all of her life at this point and so at nighttime she's like her favorite part of the day is seeing us like he had I had usually have tea at night he usually has like peanuts and raisins in his snack and we're like gossiping about the other kids like well you know that one

and Kenzie's like well truth be told Mack told. May Kenzie get out our business. But what you say, she will come and sit up in the room with us talking about her siblings. I feel like Kenzie, you are really too much. Oh my goodness. I love it. I just love your whole family dynamic. It's just beautiful. Yes. I'm really grateful for it. It feels very restorative to create an environment for my family that I think would have been really great for me. But to experience it through them and to be a part of it, it's the only thing that matters to me. So even when you're like, you're always on the go, how do you balance it? I'm really not always on the go. I say no to a lot of stuff.

So that when I say yes to stuff like this, where I'm gone for seven days back for two days then gone again, that I haven't been gone so much that I feel a whole lot of guilt about being gone on these trips. I say no to a lot of stuff. Wow. That's good for you. That's my favorite word. It's a good word. I love it. I love it. So by the time this episode airs, you have been finished with your seven city book tour. What are some things that Sarah's going to nurture when she is done and gets off the road? My edges.

I'm going to get my hair washed. She said my edges. I'm going to let these edges breathe. I'm going to nurture my joy. I am going to nurture, I think my reflection. Because this season hasn't allowed for a lot of reflection because I'm into one thing and into the next. But I want to sit back and think about all of the ways God showed up for me throughout this tour, throughout this book writing process.

Throughout the whole, because God gave me this concept with this book that it made sense to me, but I'm like, I don't know if I can put it into language. You know, because I think when people hear the title, they're like, power moves, you want to show me how to do something. And it's really about the fluidity of power and how I can be powerful as a speaker and powerful as a mother if I'm in the flow of God's power,

that everything I do is powerful. And, but I didn't, I kept second guessing whether or not I made it make sense. And to be able to hear, so many people said I did. I was actually getting out of health care in December and I'm like in the hospital, fresh out of anesthesia with my manuscript reading through this book. Cause I'm just like, it has to make sense. It has to make sense.

And for people to say that it makes sense. It does. No, you should see my iPad. Cause like I literally was like, it's purple. Like it's so many highlights. It's crazy That means so much to me And then like, you know, I've done these interviews and I don't like thinking on my speed and I've like had to speak to people And like God is giving me language and words when I did the breakfast club

Jason put me in a white button down and I was like I can't wear a white button down cuz I sweat like a man Like a fool. Yeah, I build things like a man. I sweat like a man. And I was like no because I'm gonna be pouring sweat. I had so much peace. I was so grounded like I didn't sweat through my clothes. Like little things that are dumb to most people. You're grateful for it. Yeah I am. So I just want to sit back and think I've received so much love in these cities. Somebody in Houston told me I had made the decision to commit suicide and I came with my 11 year old daughter because I wanted that to be one of our last experiences.

And she was like, I decided to live. Something happened in that room where I know God's got something for me, that there's power in me, more power than this depression. And so just like, to not just let that be something that goes by. And Houston just like, to not just let that be something that goes by. And Houston was out after the Houston date, I wanted to cancel the whole tour.

Really? Oh yeah. You didn't want to come to Atlanta? I was like, Atlanta don't want me to come. I was so... Was it just like? Well, I've toured before. I usually have a worship team.

Dr. Anita Phillips comes on the road with me sometimes. And so there's all of these different elements. Well, I'm like this is a book tour. Most of the time on book tours someone's being interviewed about their book, but I was like, but no one knows this book better than me and I didn't know if the book made any sense. So I was like, I'm gonna interview you. I asked her, I was like, so am I interviewing her? Exactly, it's weird. It's weird. So I was like, I'm gonna create this evening that is gonna allow me to set a foundation for people to read the book. There is no worship. I'm gonna engage with them.

I'm gonna interview people who I feel like embody the message of the book. And then I'm gonna speak. But it's so different than anything that's been done. So after Houston, I was like, it's too new, it's too different, it doesn't make sense. I'm finished. But power was moving even in my insecurity and uncertainty.

So I just, I wanna find all of the ways that power moved in this season and collect them for whatever's next. Yes, I love that. Sarah. Hey. Thank you. My pleasure.

Oh my goodness. Ladies and gentlemen, Sarah Jakes Roberts. This has been an amazing episode. Thank you. Thank you for having me. No, thank you. Oh my goodness. Ladies and gentlemen, Sarah Jakes Roberts. This has been an amazing episode. Thank you for having me. No, thank you. We are going to do my favorite part of the show. This is the end. It's called Positive Outcomes.

And this is where our listeners write in to us and we give them advice. So this one says, hey, Crystal, first I want to say thank you so much for being obedient to the voice of God. Your podcast has made me feel so many emotions in every season. Thank you for letting me laugh, cry, sing, shout, dance, evaluate life, get to the root, get closer with God, and just overall learn to be and embrace everything about me. I am a 33 year old single mother of three, and I feel like I'm stuck where I currently am.

I know God has given me dreams and visions, but I'm stuck on how to activate them. Oh, sometimes I'm here getting activated. Okay, we gonna get that. Okay. There have been times where I was very adamant on my path, what I wanted to do and when, but when the time came for it to come forth,

I became afraid. How do you listen to the voice of God when it seems as if everyone's voice is louder? How do you get over your feelings of fear? What are some steps that you recommend to someone who feels like it's too late to get started? Wow. Okay. Thank you so much for writing in. I definitely can say that I have felt like I got a late start in my career. You know, I moved here in, I would say, 2009. And it was a 10 year process before I got my first show. Like some people like, oh, my God, you just came out of nowhere.

No, it was 10 years that I was over here grinding and struggling until that hit. So it's never too late. You know, when God says, yes, that's your time to go, baby. And nobody can stop you when he says yes. As far as other people's voices being louder than you can make out the voice of God, for me it's meditation and sitting in the stillness in the morning when nobody's up,

when I can just hear the birds waking up, that is the best time for me to hear God's voice. Because there's nothing going on. A lot of times once the day gets started, it's like calls start coming in, everybody's giving you an opinion, oh you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't do that. That's when I feel like it's hard to like really discern where like, God, where are you really leading me? So I would say for sure just find time that you can really, until you get to a point in your walk with God where you really just hear him and he sometimes you can be in New York

City Times Square and you can hear him clearly like, oh gotcha, you know, but sometimes you need to find that still quiet space that you can really just be a one with him where you can be in New York City Times Square and you can hear him clearly like, oh, gotcha. But sometimes you need to find that still quiet space that you can really just be at one with him where you can see what direction he wants to take you to. But in Sarah Jakes Roberts book, Power Moves, she talks about marinating before you activate. Because honey, I done activated some things I should have let marinate for a while. It would have made a difference.

It would have made a little difference. So definitely should have let marinate for a while. It would have never got activated. It made a little difference. Okay. So definitely I would just marinate on what you're trying to do before you activate anything. Sarah, what do you got to say to her? Everything that you said, I would say as a part of marinating that I would consider why do you feel stuck?

I'm one of those people who like to face off with the fear, face off with the pain, the shame, to understand the messages that I am receiving. And so I am stuck because I am afraid that blank is gonna happen. I am stuck because I believe that I do not have blank. Like what is it that is making you feel stuck?

And is there anything that you can do to get unstuck? Like, do I need to believe differently? Are there courses I can take? Are there conversations that I need to have? Are these friendships the right friendships for me? If I'm stuck because I'm afraid people are gonna make fun of me if I don't do this well, like, are these the types of friends

that I wanna have in the first place? Am I wrong or would I make fun? Like, I think there's so many things that when we're marinating that allows us to see. Sometimes what I'm marinating on isn't even something that's possible. Like these friends would never make fun of me. They're so compassionate, you know what I mean? And we get stuck believing something that's not even true. So I would definitely say take some time to marinate to decide like what exactly

makes me feel stuck and is it really true? Because a lot of times it's not true. That's good. Yeah, that's real. A lot of times I'm an over thinker. I always overthink the worst sometimes like, or I can overthink the best and be like, girl, okay, yes, calm down. I overthink too. I think that's part of what makes so much of what we do successful is that it is well thought out.

Yes. But there are other moments where it is enough thinking. Yeah, that is so true. Then we do something that's called what I'm growing through and what I'm going through. Okay. And right now I am, I talked about the asking God to enlarge my territory, but with that comes finding my voice in this space of my life. And right now, I'm just really trying to figure out exactly where I want to really go as this next level expands, because I was in church, we were just talking about how as you continue to get bigger,

your options, there becomes more options. And trying to decide, okay, if I can go this way, this way, this way, really figuring out those places and the avenues that I want to go down. So right now I'm praying for the discernment to know, okay, this is the way God wants me to go. Maybe I should wait on this because I'm like,

I like to have a lot of, what's in the fire? What is it called? Coals. Yeah, I like to have a lot of the coals in the fire and a lot of different's in the fire what is it cold yeah like that a lot of the fire and a lot of different things going on but making sure that they're God things and their God moves because everything he said every good door is not a God door and I'm trying to make sure the doors I go through now are the right ones because that can determine the future it can be a good turn here it can

be a bad one so right now it's just a lot on my plate with trying to figure out where to go next so that's what I'm going through and growing through. Okay. I am growing through and going through embracing the, I won't even call it a possibility, the reality that I am lovable. Okay, but hear me out. So I think so much of my reconciliation with God came down to me feeling like God loves me in spite of all of these things I've done. God loves me. He sees all of my flaws and he loves me and it almost feels and and the grace of that is amazing. And the charity of it I think is amazing. But I also feel like there's another level that I am growing and going through

that is like, yes, I love you in spite of all those things, but also you're just lovable. Yeah, you are. And I just met you today. Thank you. Yeah, you got like And I just met you today. Thank you. Yeah, you got like, your energy is good. Thank you. Like just embracing the idea that like,

maybe you're just a lovable person. Like you're not loved out of this charity, this pat on the head, like, oh my gosh, you know, I love you. Right. Okay, tracadie self-love, I love you. And you know, I was glad to be loved by them, oh thank you, you know what I mean? I think that has been my posture glad to be loved by that. Oh, thank you.

You know what I mean? I think that has been my posture. Like, oh my gosh. But like this idea that like, no, like it wasn't a stretch. Yes. No. We talked about God leaving or Jesus leaving the 99 to go get the one. And if you're that one, you can feel like, oh my gosh, he had to stretch.

But you know, he found me. But like, what if it wasn't a stretch? Like, what if it was his privilege and his honor to go out of his way because he knew that you're so lovable that like I don't ever want you to feel lost. So I don't know it's a rewiring that I'm growing and going. I love that. That is so good. The last thing we do is fill in the blank, keep it blank, sweetie. Okay.

And I'm going to say keep marinating until it's time to activate, sweetie. I am going to say keep it authentic, sweetie. I love that. I love that. Sarah, thank you so much. My pleasure. I appreciate it. Guys, thank you so much for appreciate it guys thank you so much

for tuning into this episode of keep it positive sweetie if you want to write into our open listener letter you can write into keep it positive sweetie at gmail.com and that's sweetie with an ie you can follow me on all platforms that love crystal Renee and that's LUV Sarah tell the people that can find you you can find me at Sarah Jakes Roberts on Instagram, Facebook, and on TikTok, the real Sarah Jakes Roberts. There we go. All right, guys, and make sure you go right now to get her new book Power Moves. It's everywhere. There's no excuse for you not to have it. Go get this. It definitely will make a difference in your walk. Thank you so much,. Thank you, Lord, so much, Father God, for this moment.

Thank you for bringing everyone here safely, Lord. Yes, God. We thank you so much for the opportunity to converse vulnerably, openly, transparently, Father God. We just ask that you bless this moment and for everyone that will watch this later on, Father God, that they will receive what you want them to receive. We thank you and we honor you. In your name we pray. Amen. Amen. There you have it. These are just a few steps to build financial security. And remember,

like a good neighbor, State Farm is there, not just with insurance, but also by supporting resources that empower Black women financially. Head over to statefarm.com to learn more and find a local agent who can guide you on your financial journey. Keep it positive, sweeties, and remember, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.