Keep it Positive, Sweetie - More Than What Meets The Eye with Eva Marcille

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Season 2 Episode 2 | This week, I am sitting with the talented and beautiful, Eva Marcille! Many of you may know her as America’s Next Top Model or from the many TV shows she’s been in, but she’s so much more than what meets the eye — a true beauty on the inside just as much as she is on the outside. Get ready and grab your tissues as we dive deep and get deep with Eva.

Hello and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive Sweeties. Guys, today I have my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, the one the only even Marcel. And even first thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me. I am, I cannot be more excited and proud of this journey. It is exactly what the people need. It is feeding. It is yummy. It is nutritious. So thank you for having me on the couch. Thank you so much. Thank you.

To start the day, if I want to start, I just started a song or a quote. I'm going to do a quote. I can't say. Okay. I got a job on the day. Oh my god. I you started a song or a quote. Okay. I'm gonna do a quote. I can't say okay I got no my oh my god. I should have said but my listen. I've lost my voice. It's gone impossible. You can't lose your voice It's in there. It is in there deep in there deep deep in there. God varies those giftsils over here to Nautil. Yeah, 10 outsils. A lyric. But you said once, you said, I've learned that I can only live for myself. I cannot focus on the world's idea of who they think I am or who I'm supposed to be. I can only be the best me.

And if that means that even though I'm eligible and should be in relationship, maybe I shouldn't be right now because I'm not emotionally available. Yeah. Baby, first of all, let's talk about you are very confident. Like, you don't care about what anybody thinks. I remember when I first was introduced to Eva, it was America's next high model, and you were just so fearless.

You were a matter of fact, don't take no shit. And now that I know you're like, that is who that I know you're like that is who she is. Literally that is who she is. Oh my goodness. So just tell me a little bit about your turn. I know you grew up in Los Angeles. Yeah, grew up in South Central Los Angeles, which is very different than like the West Corridor,

Beverly Hills, not from a whole lot of money, from very meager beginnings, but I was raised by an extremely smart mother. She went to UCLA. She was a part of women's lives. She was very unapologetically black. She was the lady with the nose ringing in and afro at work, but no one else is supposed to wear them.

I loved it. And my father is a jazz musician. And so growing up in a musically inclined family, along with a woman who was all about her business and knew that what she got in life was what she worked for and that what she deserved in life would never be handed to her. You have to take it. And being the only girl, three brothers, grown up in South Central, I don't realize I was a girl for quite some time.

Like I was the girl that we would go swimming at the beach. And my mom would say, you have to put your shirt on. And I'm like, my brother's not wearing shirts. They're not wearing shirts. Like, no, you're not like them. Yes. You're not like them. You are different and you are unique.

Wow. You can't do what they do. They do, right. And that was my first teacher, in lesson of you can't do what they do. Right. And that was my first teacher in the lesson of you don't do what everyone else does because you're not like everyone else. And accepting that because sometimes you just want to be a part of the group. You just want to be a part of the fold. Everybody wants to be you know included but sometimes you learn or I, that it's not for me to be with everyone and for everyone. I'm for one person, it's God's purpose.

And whatever purpose he has for me, I use that in my day. So if it's a person I meet at a bar, if it's somebody on a corner, but the way I distribute myself, I've had to be very selective about. Absolutely. Because people will always have opinions.

But their opinions don't define me. I love that. They can't. I love that. So you can have opinions. I remember on America's Next High Model, you were very a matter of fact, that Eva the Diva. Yes.

And sometimes a little caddy. Yes. When you look back at, you were like 19. How were you then? 18, 18. 18. That's 18. That's 18. You had, even at that young age, you were like, you owned it.

Like as soon as you walked on the road. I give that to college, though. OK, tell me about that. So I was going to Clark and Landy University while I did America's Next Stop Model. Well, Clark and Landy University was used to be Clark College, home of W.E.B. Du Bois, our school's motto is find a way or make one. That is what life is.

Yeah. You find your way or you make you a way. And so I remember even coming to Atlanta being in school, you know, you get compared to all the other women. I didn't understand what a shout-out read was. When I got here, I remember a guy going, I got down a shout-out read. I was like, is that a compliment?

Right, what does that mean? But he expressed that he's like, you look good, but you just gain a little bit of weight. Then you gain some weight, and then people are like, you're too big, you lose weight, or you're too tall. You need to, you know, petite girls are in, or you're too petite, you need to be, someone always has an opinion.

It's always some idea of who you are. So I decided, I'm an internment who I am. So I can't listen to the distraction with the outside noise of all these different people, because if you go to school in the AUC, everyone is from somewhere else. You've got a New York swag, you've got a Texas, you've got even California, you've got a no-cal and so-cal.

You know, we get high-fee and we keep it relaxed. Like, it's very different. So deciding who I was and going on the journey of discovering who I was was very important to me while I learned my blackness in college. And then you stuck me into America's next top model at the same time. At the same time.

How did they even come about? Wow. Top model's origin story is crazy. So I used to love watching the fashion shows on the style network. Nine o'clock in the morning on Saturday. I was sitting now watching, like, oh my god, Isaac Miss Rahe, oh my God, I loved watching the shows.

So that was my thing. And I love fashion, but it didn't always have money. So because of that, I figured, I make my own clothes, make it do what I wanted to do. So in school, not Boston, but if I wore it on Monday, they wore it on Wednesday. Like it was just a trend setting, I loved it, but it was just a different swag. And loved it, but it was a different swag.

And so, I would see all the beautiful girls, and I decided I want to do the fashion shows. So, I would walk some fashion shows, and I would design some fashion shows. So, that's how I got into, like, the fashion world at Clark. I was on the Dean's List, super academic, the Baton Forensic Society. So that was like my outlet, my release. And I remember one Saturday girl coming up to me in the quad saying, hey, Tyra Banks is doing that top model show. She's auditioning here in Atlanta.

Do you want to go try out? So I was like, cool, I got to go to work at Dillerts at three, so we can go now, but I gotta go to work after that. Go, the line is crazy out of the door. Oh my gosh. So I realized, I gotta go to work and make my money. I'm not setting in this line, but something in me jolted, something in me was like,

what is this thing about? So I researched it. The next audition was in Memphis, Tennessee. So I drove my little Nissan Central, with a donut on one tag. You're lying to me. Yeah, not make this up. We did not have a hotel room with my friend Liz. We didn't have a hotel room.

I had just enough money to make it to Atlanta, to Memphis and back. I did not plan on staying overnight. I was just driving doing the audition coming back. Now guys, read subtext because what I didn't read was this was callbacks. I had no clue. She skipped it. I didn't even know what a callback was. Right.

Had no idea. So drive to this hotel, ballroom that's hosting the auditions. After work late one night, I mean, I washed up in the bathroom, put on my little jeans and my little tank top. Remember how flat I never wore heels? Didn't know how to put on mascara in the first, no makeup, nothing.

Rinse my face, moisturize and walked in there. Wow. So I'm sitting down, I never remember, I was on my 33. I put the little number on my chest like a track star like I was in the Marathon. And they called the first group, it was 1-40. I stand up, said, say your name and tell me where we first saw you. Oh my gosh. So I was like, oh, Lord, I ain't trying to waste a sin on the lie right now.

Well, how am I going to answer this? Yes. I said, whoa, I first saw you in Atlanta. Mm-hmm. Because I did. Yeah. Technically. You didn't see me when I saw them.

I first saw you in Atlanta. And they did an audition. I remember they asked, they asked a few people to stay. I was one in the few, they asked to stay. Seven hours later, they released us and said, everybody, you guys can go. And they said, you'll be getting a phone call within the next two weeks.

Now to know me, it's an Alma Hussle. I always got three hustles, always. So I worked at school. I was on full scholarship, Endine's list, got all the refund checks. And I worked at school. I was on full scholarship, Endings List, got all the refund checks, and I worked at Bakers and Delarts. So I'm at work on my cell phone, like waiting for it to go off. Waiting for it to go off. And one night, it was like 11.30 Eastern time, and I get a phone call.

It's guys, like, hey, this is Ian from America's X-Fop model. And I thought it was my brother. So I hung up the phone. Oh, even. I hung up on my blessing. No. Ian, when guy got a blessing for you, he gonna call it back. Listen, because that blessing called back and Ian goes,

hey, he wasn't as enthusiastic this time. He wasn't like, hey, he was like, hey, don't hang up. This is really me. This is Ian from Top Model. We want you to come to Los Angeles for the semi-final rounds. I need you to have a camcorder and record yourself when we make the next phone call.

I'm broke. Who's getting a camcorder? Who has the camcorder? Where camera phone was out there? 2001. Oh, yeah. So no, we all had a psychic. Plus the camcorder. Was it even, were camera phones out there? 2001. Oh, yeah. So no, we all had psychics. Yeah.

You're flipping a chirping. Sure was. It was, it was, it was, so I remember my friend, Noel, used his dad's credit card, went and got a camcorder. No, yeah. Recorded me, and we wrapped that thing up and take it back and stuff. That's what, hey, got to do what you got me.

Got to do what you got to do, but he recorded me. And next thing I know, I had a ticket to LA. And I went through the process and ended up getting not only getting chosen to be on the show, winning the show, but I think the biggest nod in flex, it's not just winning the show. It is showing that beauty comes in so many different forms. And this is a form that was not normalized before I did top model.

You saw a girl like me and you wouldn't see her on a cover of magazine. Now today, it's like, clearly the white guy. So I love that Tyra took a chance on me, a chance on shifting to the perspective of people and what beauty looks like. Yes. And I mean, I owe so much of my career to her. She gave me a leg up where no one else even cared. Then she managed me. Wow, I do not know this.

Yes, I'm the only person to hire how many people you did, because it must have been at least four, five hundred. A model she has broke. But she and Benio Medina managed my career. And that's really what started me off. That makes a lot of sense. Because I was going to ask you, after you got thrust into fame from going from college to

being America's next time model, the first one, like, what was that adjustment like? And I guess Tyra did help you adjust to that. Tyra helped me be selective about my career choices. She taught me to earn it every day. Whatever I did yesterday was yesterday. Yeah, well. You got to do whatever you want for tomorrow has to be done today.

And once today is over, is the next God willing. So she taught me that. She taught me that less was more in everything. Hair, makeup, clothing, less is more. Use your gifts. I have a gift of fashion and in a fashion business you'd be surprised. You wouldn't be because you know this business. A lot of beautifully dressed people out there that don't have a clue how to put their outfits

on. Have no fashion sense. So she's like, use your strengths. Tap into your talents. But when it came to adjusting to this business, I think Tyro was so famous for so long and I was so new, there was definitely a large space between when she first broke. Absolutely. And then when she started breaking other people, she broke at 16 in Paris.

You know what I mean? I met T way later. So my adjustment has been a lot for me is just staying grounded to my faith. Yes. It's so many rooms I've been in. And it's just me and God. It's just me and to my faith. Yes. There's so many rooms I've been in, and it's just me, and God, it's just me and Him. Yeah.

He's the only one that's always, always, always, always been there. Always. So I knew he needed to stay my foundation. And my friends, I only keep lights around me. Yeah. I only try to keep people around me that bring me light, bring me positivity.

And I didn't think I was ready for this business. keep people around me that bring me like bring me positivity. And I didn't think I was ready for this business, but I think more so, this business didn't think they was ready for me. Baby, because what? Yes. So I think that's more so what it is, is that I was dropped into a business that we were redefining what the thing

looked like anyway. Absolutely, yeah. So the idea of norms and who you're supposed to be and all the whispers in your ear, just do you. Just do you. Just do you, except what God allows. When He has for you, He has. Yeah.

Sometimes what you want is not what God has for you. Mm-hmm. My mom always taught me God has three answers. Right. Yes. Yes, but wait. Mm-hmm. No, because it has something better. Right. That was the only three answers He's. Yes, but wait. No, because it has something better.

Right. That was the only three answers you've ever gone give you. Wow. I like that. So, I just figured out which one was my yes. Yes, but wait. Yes. Or, no, because I have something way better.

And it's always. It's always worked. And it's always, if it's a no, it's always something better. It's always something better. And you'll be grateful that they didn't have you like, ooh, thank God I died. But we forced our way so much. You try to force our way, try to make them understand.

Yes. And for me, leaning into being black was my joy. Wow. Because you are unapologetically black. I love being black. Did I come from your mother? Because you talk about your mom with her? Yeah, my mother and my father are both panthers.

What? Yes, my mom and dad. And imagine my daddy, because he's a very sandy, sandy hair and blue eyes. So they don't look at a twist. But there's a big black man raising Detroit Michigan. Wow. We'll let you know our blackness.

We shopped at stores only that were owned by black, recycled black dollars. Lamert Park was our stuffing grounds. Everything we did to recycle it within the community. A little bit. And learning my history and knowing my history, understanding my strength that they tried to ripple away from us. I think I know that that is my power.

It is, I see it. And I love being black. I love motivating other black and brown people to understand who they are. And so many times we get an opportunity and we get to a certain place in life. And we're like, OK, great. Now let's go in the rooms with the other ones,

because now I can go in there. No, no, no, no. That's not the key. Yeah. The key is now to usher in more people into our rooms. Talk about, because people do that. They do. They do, they're like, OK, now I've made this way. Talk about, because people do that. They do.

They do, then like, now I made it this way. Let me go ahead and do that. That's not what it is. What it is is now my nine-year-old daughter who went to school the other day, who has lots in her hair when there were her curls and girls looking at her and seeing how beautiful it is and having pride in this. You know, I'm 38.

I remember, 30 years ago, we tried to push our hair down. My hair big. Push it down. Try to shrink to not be who we truly are in life, who God intended us to be. So I stopped apologizing for being bold, for being inquisitive, for being outspoken, for being happy. I think that's in the air,

I want to be serious also, I'm happy. You are having a good time. Let's go now, you know. Yeah, fine, just join. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, so me being unapologetically black, it definitely comes from my parents, comes from my neighborhood,

and it comes from my schooling. Yeah, my education, I love that. How does that translate when it comes to business? Because I know as a woman, it's hard to navigate this industry. And you've made some amazing boss moves. Tell me some of those things, some of the roadblocks or things that you've ran into when it comes to being a woman, where you really had to put that. The cap on.

Yeah. Yeah, being in this business, being a minority is already difficult. Being a woman, there is an expectation that not a smart edge of your are pretty. That's the most frustrating one. Because I'm way smarter than I am pretty. Mama's cute. Andy is. So your brains, you gotta lead with your brains. When it comes to, was initial question. How have you navigated being a woman? Yes, so that you're, that I am smarter than I am pretty, that I deserve everything on this table, if not more.

And then understanding that. And the power of my negotiation is my ability to say, no. No. I taught them or the business. the power of my negotiation is my ability to say no. I taught them or the business. They need me as much as I need that dollar. Yeah, yeah. And I can go find a dollar somewhere else, but you never gonna find another me.

So that's the power of my negotiation. That's the word. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if I say no, it's so cool, you got a huge bag, say it's a $2 million deal on the table. But you know you should get for. You know you should get for.

Even though two is good, you know you should get for. You say no. Then you can't leave that money on the table. I'm not going to leave that money on the table. I'm going to go pick up this other money. Because the bag that is for me is for me. You're not going to find another me. And the strength is in knowing that. And so sometimes you have to say no.

One of my old managers, Jerome Martin, I remember a young in my career. I'm like, which me? No. We not leaving. No, $20,000. Which me? No.

That's the thing. It seems like an easy job to me. I can do it. I'm like, we should we go and leave this? Should we leave it? Yes, I'm sure. You should. You should be like, yeah, I'm like it is. Exactly. You're like, are we sure we're gonna leave it? Should we leave it? Yes, I'm sure. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, I'm like it is.

Exactly, you're like, you're De Nora. Yes. That's what God blessed me with, the De Nora's of the world. There's it, no baby girl. You're worth more. You're worth more. You're worth more.

And learning that word, you pull up, I remember my radio contract. I'm not gonna talk numbers, but I will say, I know, I've seen a contract like mine. I know that radio contract. I'm not going to talk numbers, but I will say, you know, why they seem to contract like mine? I know that's right. No, and it's only because I was willing to say, so many times, they realize, like, get this lady what she wants because we need her on the radio.

You know what I mean? Or give her what she wants because we need her in this campaign. So if I have to find that much more, or just don't get somebody else, get somebody else and let them do it. Yeah. Probably or do I get somebody else? Yeah. Get somebody else and let them do it. Yeah. Promise you they'll come back to you.

Yeah. I promise you. Because they can't find another you. Mm-hmm. Wow. So the power of my negotiation and my woman has been the fact that I know that I'm a super human. Mm-hmm.

I can do the things that most can't do. I can give life. Hello. I did it three times. Andy it. So God reminds me all the time. Maybe what I created in you, don't let these people tell you who you are. Right.

If this is what you want, then go get it. This is not what you want, then wait, I got something better. Oh, I love that. That's so good. It's so good. You talked about radio. I know you're That's so good. It's so good. You talked about radio. I know you're an actor.

When did you decide that for modeling you wanted to be an actor? I always loved acting. I always loved acting. First play I ever did in elementary school played an African princess named Obatala. Oh, half-fitting. Half-fitting, right? Love my roots. But I was the kid that I was really, really smart,

and did a lot of things scholastically. So I wanted to do something in arts too, because my father was a musician. So we had to play a sport, and we had to play an instrument. So in first. What instrument did you play? The piano, the trombone, the guitar. What?

Wow. Topped myself the guitar. Trombone, the guitar. What? Wow. Top myself the guitar. That's all right. Trombone's my best instrument. My dad played trombone, his dad played trombone. Now the trombone is, is it me? It's very good. I got the arms.

It's deep. Okay, okay. Trombone's the last slide. Trombone's up here. Okay, two, I'm thinking two, but I'm wondering, that was a big deal. Two, but she's a win though. Okay, that's what I was thinking about. She's a win. There's all win instruments.

But my grandfather played the trombone, my son, my dad played, my dad said, when instrument do you want to play? And I was like forced to play the piano growing up. Yeah. So I was like, oh, anything but the piano. I'll play the trombone. Worst, best decision ever. Wow.

This is my dad's instrument. So I was in his studio every day. We're out there playing. And so in school, I can't sing. It's not my ministry. Not the best dancer though. I can wind, I am black, I do that rhythm. But I cannot dance dance.

Like choreography like that. I can't do that. Janie, you got it. So, but I can play a drum ball. So I decided I'm going gonna be in the orchestra. So I was in the orchestra for all the plays. And then once I got to high school, I decided, I wanna be in these plays.

So there's a man by the name of Mark Swinton. It was my high school drama teacher. We love you, Mark. No, Mark. My name is the other day. Shocking. Listen to Mark, gonna be, he's gonna be flat. Every time he sees him.

So Mr. Swinton, I still call him Mr. Swinton, sorry Mr. Swinton. Mr. Swinton, he burst something in me. He said you don't have to be able to sing or dance to be an actress. You are a star. I'm like, so you gonna make me effy? You can't be effy.

You're not gonna be effy. You can't be Dean and no, no, no. You can't be L'Oreal. And I'm those characters. But I'm gonna find something for you. You found something for me in every single play that I could do. That was my best.

Wow. And then each play, he would challenge me again and again and again. And so then when I went to college, same thing, when I was scholarship, what's my outlet, the AUC players? Yeah. So the CAU players, AUC players, we have, it's basically a theater group.

So I just did it for fun. And enjoyed it. I always loved that it was my outlet. Yeah. Then I went to top model, Tay Diggs did an acting challenge on top model, and that's how I got to know him. Cut two, first TV show I get an audition,

I'm modeling, not acting, just modeling. My modeling agent hits me up and says, Hey, there's an audition for you to do this show called Kevin Heel, playing Tadek's girlfriend. She's a model. I was like, okay, cool. Are there words? Hello.

My just is a photo shoot. What are we doing? I was like, no, they're lines. So, sending me the script, I audition, I got the job. First gig. Vancouver, Canada. Okay. Brett, I mean, I had just won top model December 12th.

I remember the day. And I got this job in February. So excited. That was well. So excited. So the devil tries it. Ooh, the devil tries it. Always.

I got a car at motorcycle accident. I got hit by a huge envoy. A week before I was supposed to go and shoot the show. Are you kidding me? I cannot make it up. I went straight out of the hospital. I was going to do the job.

I love Jackson Memorial in Miami. This is where it happened. And I went to Vancouver, Canada. My mom met me up there. I was wrapped and bandaged on my legs all the way up. And my one episode turned into eight. Come on, guys. Beautiful, making good.

That was my first time working with her. It's how I know her to this day. And that was the beginning of my acting journey. After that, I went back, I was shooting. I was doing apple bottoms and Cover Girl, love my shoots. Shout out to Susan Taylor over at Essence Back in the Day. Love my shoots. But there was something about that set in Vancouver that just hit head.

It's like a big fine man, you know, you just get you. Sitting in the back of your brain, you can't forget about it. So it was like that. And so I told my agent, I said, so are there any more auditions for acting? So we really don't do that. We will feed over, we really don't do that. So decided to get me an acting agent. Wow.

And that's when Beanie Medina was like, you want to do this? We want to do it. Let's do it. So that was a transition and my first two big shows were House of Pay, Shout Out to Tyler Perry. Shout Out to TV. First season, the beginning, the inception, 2006. And, hang on the rest list. Wow.

And God knew exactly what He was doing at that time. Because the way in which Tyler, who is a, he's a mastermind. Yes. He is an absolute genius. The way he has learned how to refashion the idea of filming. Absolutely. The only other place that I see that films and that kind of speed are soaps.

Soaps we are 62 to 75 pages a day, every single day. Six episodes a week, one at one in a piece a day. So you do one in inserts. So I would do house of pain, paying through those episodes, go to L.A. bank through. So I was learning and getting the training at the same time. And I remember calling Viv, Vivica Fox, who had done Young and the Restless.

And I said, Viv, what am I doing? Like, should I do this job? What do I do? It's first contract role they had up in 19 years for a black person. The only black woman they had on that show was Victoria Raw. So I replaced her and played opposite Christophe St. John. The late great. Missed him. But that's when I learned, she said go in E and learn everything you can't use

it like college. Use it as your training ground, learn how to learn quick, memorize, and that's my ministry. That's what I do well. I can read this book right here and regard to take everything in that book. Wow. And I realize that's one of the keys to acting, understanding the story and having it in you.

Absolutely. So Tyler Perry, being able to be as transparent as he was, learning this deal, he did with TBS, crafting house of pain, the Ruben cannons, the Roger Bob, the way back win, you know. And him being so open to letting us learn it as he learned it. I think that was so key of fundamental for me. Working on Young and the Restless, I got to exercise those chops, but house of pain, I got to sit and live in it. Yeah.

Funny, cry, it's a little bit of everything. Yeah. And it was the cultural piece I was missing. Yeah, absolutely. You're not getting it. The telling of our story. Yes. So I had two shows, both paying well, both doing well. But it was something about that house of paying.

There was something about being able to live unapologetically black. That had to tuck in any of my chocolate, a cinnamon at all. And that's where it started. And from there, I've been very selective about making sure I do shows that show black women as black women. Right.

Like even wearing your hair as your character. Yes. Because we talked about this. You're like, this is a big thing for me. Like, can I wear my hair? So on my current TV show, I remember starting the pre-production process. So I get the job and so now we're going through the look. Who does this lady look like?

Who is this gangster but poised the business but from the hood? What does she look like? And I knew she was buttoned up. But I wanted to say something when it came to the hair. I wanted black girls and women moreover to know that the way their hair grows out of their hair head is sexy, it is professional, it is beautiful, it is everyday, it is girl next door, it is funky, it is all of those things. Because a lot of times we put wigs on, wigs are beautiful. I think you and Cynthia Bailey, y'all two together,

y'all with queens. No one can wear a wig like y'all, no one. But that's a good company to be in a life-santee. That's what girl is. It's so exciting. No one can wear a wig like you guys. And it also is not everybody's thing. Some people don't have the access to it.

Some people don't know what they're doing. Come on now. And I want it, my daughter, more so than anything, and young girls, to know that, you know, here is fine. Exactly how it comes out your head. It is fine. You don't have to tame it. Like Beyonce says, only a real one can tame me.

And I'm ready to go play with me. Talk about it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So once you have that sense of, no, this is hard. This woman is wearing locks. My production team, they wanted me to wear a wig and a bob. It's like, no.

We're not doing that. No. And I fought and I fought and I fought. I know you got huge battles now. You do. Can't fight everyone, but I did not callisi out here. But that was a battle I was willing to huge battles now. You do. Can't fight everyone in your body. Not Kaleesi out here. But that was a battle I was willing to fight. Yeah.

Because I wanted every frame when I look back at this powerful, strong, amazing, feared, respected woman to stand boldly in all her blackness. Wow. Oh my goodness. Oh yeah, we were like. We were like, I love it. Now, when you go on set, I know a lot of times when we walk on sets We don't see us in the rooms when it comes to hair makeup even wardrobe sometimes

Yeah, I'm not a body type. So skin tone. Yes, our hair textures Because you come from a beauty background or there are other times where you find yourself showing the makeup I had a whole party that was thrown from me from the glam department. I did a film with Yozac. We did a devile Ellis. We did a Christmas movie for own. And thank God I was able to be a producer on the air

so I had a little bit more room to talk. Yes. And then speak up, I was wearing my locks. That was a non-negotiable. And I need a lock tissue, non-negotiable. Non-negotiable. Now we are in Ottawa, Canada. Ottawa, Canada is biggest in Tika.

Okay? And this is how many black folks they got in Ottawa, Canada. So, with that being said, you could only imagine how hard it was to find black lamb. Oh, so difficult. I required that my makeup artist be a woman of color. Yes. Because I know she understands my skin.

Exactly. That's a thing. It's a thing. Melinated skin is created different. It is. We are created different heads of toe. So I required a lot of tissue. They couldn't find one. I went and found one out of a hair salon who had never worked a day on set.

Wow. Ever. She was head of hair. You found a rubber found. Hey, sweetie. We're going to get back to this week's episode after an ad from our sponsors. Tough is in your DNA. It drives your resilience. Even when they told you that you couldn't, you did what no one else could. And that's because you're different from the rest. Every day you work hard to conquer challenges, making the impossible happen. And tomorrow, you'll do it all over again with a truck that's just as tough as you. Explore the best Ford truck for you today at Ford.com. Built Ford Tough.

Ha ha ha ha! It was a hot gas you, right? It was a calm. Rob was like, Rob was doing that assignment. But shout out to Nandy Sugar and Ottawa Canada. She's from Toronto, she lives in Ottawa. And she has a hair shop.

She does locks and she does hair. She knew nothing about set life. Today, last week marked one year, she'd been on sets. Wow. She has done nothing but set work. Her shop is doing its thing. She has done every movie that that production company has had since then.

Because guess who the next star of the next film was? Gabby Cittabay. Wow. And there are us. Yes. There are us. Leading these films anyway. Wow. So, Sarge used a little bit of my flex and wanted my rooms to look like they look at TPS.

Mm-hmm. And brought in hair stylist. I brought a barber in from my co-star because they don't realize that black men need their edgips. You can't just put some hairspray in the juice over. It's not that kind of what I'm doing. Don't judge my friend. Okay, line him up.

Where you credit card at? Line him up. Get him out of my love, bitches. Make a right. And there was a point where we were doing a scene where we were supposed to be in the South Side of Chicago. And we were doing a job there, helping under privileged people get jobs.

And I looked around, all the extras, not one was melanated. You were, not one person devised characters supposed to be helping these inner city people make money and get jobs. So I took glam I took their smocks off their their aprons the pins and stuff fixed their hair and pushed them right into the scene I know that's right right in the forefront because the representation of us is not always there right however it is up to us to speak up

so that it can get there. Yes. How do we get there? How do you get a lot of attention on set unless you tell someone? Yes. Close mouth, don't get fit. True, don't.

So I just require, as soon as I start a project, what do you want? What kind of girl is she? Can I keep my hair? Yes. First question. Can I keep my hair? If I can't keep my hair great,

what kind of period piece is this? Because we must be going way back in the day. We must be going somewhere far from here. If I cannot keep this hair. Exactly. And I want to make it a new norm. I want to make it comfortable. Yeah.

You know, what you're doing there. Beautiful white women can come in with their hair. Yeah. Exactly how they woke up and it's fine. You thought some curls in and the collar of the day. I love it. I'm gonna come on set with my locks just like this. Run me some edge control on my baby here,

and I'm gonna go on and be beautiful. Just like me. Hello. I know that's right. You talk about I'm working with my Zach. How was it I'm working with DeVal Ellis? That's one that we haven't come in. DeVal, let me tell you.

Cadene! Cadene! You got you a good one, girl. Yes. Listen, I love that man. He is such a beautiful person. The way he loves his family, the way he loves his wife, Kadim, who is now my wife too. He's not my husband.

She's just my wife. That's for clarity. But it is like no other. He hungers and thirst for this thing called entertainment. He loves it. He does. On a whole another level. And the way he speaks life and brings life into a room,

it's something you can't teach. It is either who you are or not since the first day on set when I met him, I realized, you were food just like me. A whole food. A whole food. He is so much fun. Yeah. He's so committed.

I don't have to worry about his punctuality because I'm about being on time. You are. I messed up my lines. Oh my, I was just talking about that. You do not play, you come to work, and you expect from everyone else what you put into it.

Well, I expect what I believe they expect from me. I expect that from others. I don't expect anything more than what I will do. Exactly. From anyone, even when it comes to work, when it comes to a man, when it comes to friends, I don't expect from someone what I would not do for them or for myself.

So when I come to work, we have 120 people back here that have decorated this set, that have scouted this location, that have put these garments together, that have rigged these lights, that have done all of this to make this work for your moment. The least you can do is show up in your moment. And my moment, coupled with this person's moment, coupled with this person's moment, is what we call a scene. Yes. So if we all get our moments together,

we can make it work. X, oh my god, I love that. It's so true. I have the same sentiments about DeVal. Just amazing to work with. So good. So passionate. He's a teacher.

I feel like he teaches, I'm not father too. Like the way he treats his boys and his always. Yes. Trying to instill values and my way of doing this, do this. He's a teacher. I feel like he teaches, I'm not a father too, like the way he treats his boys and his always, trying to instill values and love. I do this, do this. He has a story for everything. A story for everything. A story for everything.

And he's very knowledgeable in a lot of areas. He's a historian. He is a history buff, which I love playing like, and not know that. He is so smart, so smart. But what I love about him too, is he reminds us why we do this. Yes. Because we love it.

We love it. So there is no day you're going to leave set where you didn't find the fun and re-tapping to why you're passionate about this. Exactly. Exactly. Because sometimes you're so blessed and you're just, it's so, you get so normalized in this life that you forget that you're blessed. You forget that you don't have to do this.

You could stock shelves if you want to. If that's what you want to do, yeah. Because if you want this, let's act like we want this. Let's act like we do. Let's fill in. And so that's one thing I love about working with him is that I pray for this dream. I pray for the manifestation of this dream

to walk in what I'm walking in every day and I am not for one second do I forget that I am walking the dream that I dreamt and prayers that I pray for. He answered them. And so the least I can do is to have gratitude in it. Yeah. I love it. So you have a daughter and two boys.

Yeah, so she's living kind of like in your footsteps where raise with boys, you know. Yes, yes. Is it not crazy? It is so crazy. So what are you in stealing? And what's, is it Marley? Marley.

Marley, what are you in stealing in Marley? Who is raising two little brothers, and she's the big girl. Yes, she is. I just sent her a video today. She's with her dad. I sent her a video and I said, remember when you walk out of the house,

always be a lady. Wow. You are a leader, not a follower. You are the head, not the tail. And be kind. Kindness. Kindness. It's so important.

I remember I got a report from her school saying, Marley, she talked a lot. Like a mom, and they'll talk to one. But she is the most compassionate person in the class. So there is a kid who's high functioning on the spectrum. So there's still in Mar's class. But when it comes to recess time and socializing time, Marley is like, she's like, had a cheerleading, play center, basketball,

like she's like the popular girl. And there's this one kid who is just really quiet and's on the spectrum. Marley every recess, every single recess takes time and goes, so maybe cry. I don't know, you already turn up. I didn't tell her to do this. I didn't even know about this kid in her school. Marley takes time every day to go and sit with that kid,

to play with that kid, to let that kid know they're special, that they're somebody, that they're seen. So for me, that's the stuff I want my daughter to learn. Not how to be this amazing actress, not how to do all these amazing things that the world says are good, but be kind to people. You never know actress. Not how to do all these amazing things that the world says are good. But be kind to people. Yeah.

You never know what someone's going with me. You don't. Oh my gosh. Yes, Marley. You never know. She is, Marley is, she has been here before. She's a different kind of a child. I remember when I got pregnant.

I wanted a boy. Yeah. I'm so rough. I'm like, give me a boy. God, give me a boy. And God gave me Marley. And I didn't understand. I was like, I thought we had this conversation, God.

This is a very pretty boy. What is going on? God knew exactly what he was doing. Yes he did. He knew what he was doing with me. Wow. He knew what Marley would do for me. And he knew how Marley would change the world.

Wow. So he cleaned me up and washed me up, renewed me so that I could make a way better version of me. Yeah. A way better version. Because Marley is, she'd have won. She'd have won in too. And so she's such a kind woman, little girl.

And that's all I want for her. I want for my children to be kind. Yes, we would love to say, my kids and engineers, a doctor, an architect, or a creative this. I want my child when they meet their maker, got to say job well done and to know that the foundation of that job was me showing her the righteous way. I feel like that from that I did my job. I've done my job as a mother, because Molly is gonna affect change in a way that's so, it's so crazy. And I had no idea she was that kind of kind.

And I would tell her every day, be kind. She wears her shirts with big sunflower on it, be kind as to be beautiful. Kindness is the new beauty. Yeah. She's so kind, she's so sweet, you look so pretty today. Oh mommy, she's just so sweet. I love that.

So kind. So that's what I want in part of my children, but my daughter, especially, because it will be reciprocated. Yes. Not necessarily by the person. She gives it to. Mm-hmm. That's another thing I learned.

A lot of time in life, we think that the person you give the love to is supposed to give it back to you. That's not how that worked. She literally just posted something about that. That's not how that works. You give love because your heart said and God said you were charged to give love. God is going to make sure you receive something of that level and magnitude if not bigger. Not particularly from that person to that same source, but it's gonna come. It's coming. Because if he can get a blessing through you,

he can get one too. Hey, hey, hey. So, shawba-baba-baba. Listen. So good. So I just want my baby to be a blessing. What she is, and you are too,

you called me recently. This was last week saying, I want to come to church with you. I did. You did. And what was the demand you say, I need to come to church with you. I did. You did. And what was it that made you say, I need to get in the house? Because you have, I hear you quoting the scriptures.

Like you were a very tapped in. Yes, I know the Lord. Yes. I know the Lord. He heard in here. Is my Christ. Amen. Hey, hey.

All the time. All the time. Um, it was you. You were the reason. I wanted to your light. Okay, girl, you need to go. Good. Good light. Because you get church hurt.

Easy. So you find yourself like, I don't cool along going to church. I know the Bible. Mm-hmm. For a background, I can get you scriptures. Time to tie. Let's go to Maddie Cat 310 bringing you all the time. I've got y'all ready. I'm ready. I'm ready you scriptures. Time to tie us, go to MaddieCath 310 bringing you all ties to us. I got y'all ready, I'm ready for you.

You ready for you. Right. But this daily walk, this human experience is the thing we call life. It's tough. That for Instagram it's 15 second snippets and 30 second snippets. That's not life. Yeah. Life is this thing that we are going through every single day.

And it's ups and it's downs and it's rounds and it's rounds. And your light shines so bright. Your light shines so bright, Chris. Oh, literally, in tears. Before I came out of your magic, it's what we saw on Instagram, like really crying. Before you went in, then I'd like, shake it off, you gotta shake it off. For the hour that I'm gonna sit here,

for the 15 seconds, I got a smile for the camera. I'm gonna shake it off, don't shake it off. Cause your light has helped me through one of the toughest times of my life. And I don't even think you realize it, because it's just your life. When you turn a light on in a room, you don't realize that that's been lit over there too,

and that has a little piece on it too, it's just your life. But if your light is on, it's gonna cast brightness on everything around you. So some of my darkest, darkest, outchiest days, you just been bright. Well, around me. And you have inspired me to say,

you know what, I don't know where she getting fed at. Ooh, but I wanna go there. I wanna go there to the place that's pouring into you because I'm feeling a little empty. Oh, good. So is you. I'm a little empty. Oh, God. So I was you. It was good because we got to about other friends who got a church that day.

Oh, no, wait, dude. Now they stuck with me. I'm gonna be all up in there. Oh my God, I love that church. But I love the word. Yes, it's so good. And I think God's a message. A lot of times it's a lot simpler than we make it.

It is. In the way we have indoctrinated church in our heads and our brains. Sometimes it's like, long. Yeah. It's gonna be too long or what, you know, I don't know what they're talking about. I need something relatable and applicable to the life that I live. Exactly. The journey that I'm on, the walk that I live. Mm-hmm. Exactly.

The journey that I'm on, the walk that I'm on. Yeah. And when I went to church or true, I feel like you taught this man my whole life. I'll ask him, I'll prove it. At all. You tell him, all that I was going through. I got to check my house because I think you've got some fire cameras in there because he spoke directly to me.

Yeah. I am, I'm, I'm in my calendar like, okay, I'm out of town this Sunday. Next Sunday, I'm a beat there. Like I am so inspired. Because that date, that walk with Christ, I play my music every morning.

Yeah. I know it's all about my mindset, but life be life and sometimes. They be, life be, life and with the most positive minds and the best intentions, that will be working, it will be hard. It is. I can't feel real hard.

So I just, I just need to, yeah, leave it here. Like we have charged again. Yeah, just does that charge. You got the climax. So I just, I just need a little bit of my way of charging here. Yeah, just does that charge. You got the climax. So I just needed something a little tangible. Yeah. Oh my God. I needed something tangible I needed to be in the house.

I needed to fill him around me. And having been charge her and then being who we are in business And it haven't been church hurt. And then being who we are in business and then living in a city like Atlanta is hard. It's so hard. It's not like God, I wanna come. Ooh, where do I go? So I go to my closet, floor,

and go to the bottom of my shower. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I used to go into my basement. I even go to basement no more. You're letting me from that. Yes. I'm going down there no more. I'm just saying up top.

Yes. Oh, yes. But then, God said, you know, it come to me. Jesus. Come here. But where do I go? I'm God. God.

He was in town. You were available. I was available, like, a whole week, because I'm like, I'm, ask that call you. God, you was in town, you were a valo ball. I was available, like, a whole weekend, because I was like, we were both just out of town a week and four. Just a weekend before. Yeah, and I had, I watched, he had started that,

I'm series when we were in LA, and I watched it in my bed in Wednesday, before the last Sunday. God was like, I could not shake it. He was like, watch it again. And I was like, oh my gosh, okay. So that's how I told Pastor, I was like, I had to double back on it

because it was so good. I was just like, God, you are working on me right now. Working on you, but he's using you too because you are in the gap for me. I don't know if you know, but you are. You've been. in the gap for me. I don't know if you know, but you are. You've been.

Oh, my God. That's always my prayer. So to hear you say that, oh God. I always say, God, when I walk out of here, I just want people to see your light through me. Yeah. I know I'm not perfect. I know I don't have it all together.

I'm still trying to figure things out. I still struggle with areas of my life and my faith walk But I want people to see you through me, you know, so for you to say that yeah, wow He ready to do the baby here's an impart Y'all have been there like some good grease. Oh my god. I can't be in there. Oh Okay, Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Jesus. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Jesus. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. God. Cal, I'm the one cool as a cucumber. He's like, I'm used to this. He's like, here they go again. All they do is cry.

You get them down and do is cry. We need one more. You know, we go. We'll ring it. Hello. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Wow.

When it comes to what kind of mom I want to be, I think about my life now, not knowing that it was going to take this trajectory at all and what I need to help me while I'm on my journey. And it's that friendship. It's that knowing that you have someone, a prayer warrior that's praying for you, always, but then someone you can actually call. Yes. And I want to be from Marley. When she is a young lady in high school, choosing college, setting off into college, choosing who she wants to date, how she wants to date, I want to be that safe place for her to ask me about anything,

absolutely anything, and I want to be able to give that to her, to be that soft landing space. For myself sometimes I feel like, who I'm going to call. Right, yeah. You know, that's just gonna listen. Not preach to me. Yeah.

Not tell me what I should do or what I shouldn't have done. Just be a soft space. Yeah. And so that's what I wanna be for my daughter. Most importantly for my daughter. Because if I'm not it for her, she will go look out in the world for it. She sure will.

She will look for it through people, through material, through titles, through all these ideologies of greatness, and of being loved and being held. So I want to be that for her. I want her to know that no matter where she is, where she was going on. Mommy will always be there. Mommy will always be there.

Yeah. Mommy always gonna be there. And I can't be there like God, because God is here. He is a different one. He is. He is different. He sits on my hotel room floors with me. Uh-huh.

Yeah. But I want, I know for me, I find myself sometimes in such dark places where you just need somebody to talk to. Yes. Just somebody talk to. Yes. Just somebody. Saying, yeah. And I want to be able to be that person for my daughter. I don't want her to be afraid to speak to me.

I don't want her to feel lectured. I don't want her to feel judged. I remember my boy, their dad would get mad because I used to say, I went, I wish one of my kids were gay. And he was like, why would you say that? I said, I think I'd be a really, really good mom to a person with an alternative lifestyle. Yes.

Not that I want to determine what their lifestyle looked like. I just wanted to be blessed with having a child that chose the alternative lifestyle or God chose one for them and I was the mom that was able to love him because a lot of them don't have it. And they go and search for other communities. Yeah. A lot of my friends, my best friend is gay and the way his mother loves him, gives him a space to be free. And who he is. Yes.

I know so many people who don't have that luxury, so they're caged in who they are. And their workspace, in their family, around their friends, they don't know their truth, they can't be their truth, they can live in it. So I just want to be that kind of mom. Whatever it is, Marley wants to live in it. So I just want to be that kind of mom, whatever it is, Marley wants to do in life. I mean, Walt Disney was considered an idiot in school. Why are you drawing this?

Is this not going to be? And now look at him now. Hello. I want to be the person that said keep drawing. Yes. I want to go buy them sketchbooks. I want to go. You want a new pencil? How you want to sharpen this pencil? Mommy go buy them sketchbooks. I wanna go, you wanna do pencil?

How you wanna sharpen this pencil? Mommy got you some sharpen. I wanna be this. I wanna do the conduit, the circuit that makes her like continue to always shine. I love that. Oh my God, Eva. Baby girl, did not know you used

about the Britney down like that today. You are everything. You carry many hats, you wear many titles, but wow, you just blew me away with your mother's stories, your faith walk, the business woman that you are, you just everything. Well, you keep it in positive, you know, you gave us a space. Thank you. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. It's been, it's actually been a beautiful space for me. Yeah.

Opening up, I was, me and Denore were just talking to me actually about how close off I used to be. You know, I'm just very private. I didn't want to let people in. Thinking that as you ascend, that's the best way. I'm sure everything else with the world, let me just hold these things. I can have something to myself.

You know, and not realizing the thing, the very things that you're holding is, your holding back could help people. Yes, you know, so that's what it, the very things that you're holding is, your holding back could help people. Yes, you know, so that's what you do. Yes, but your operative word, and this is your beauty, is the safe place. The safe place. Yes.

You, so I feel safe talking to you, yeah. Telling you, my aches, my pains, my burdens, my woes. Yeah. You know, try not to get makeup on your beautiful white couch. I got something for that. But making it you create a safe environment. I think with all of the social media that's out there and all the things that we see, sometimes it feels unsaid like can I post this? Should I not post this? What are they going to say? What are they going

to think? You know, but this is a place where honesty, prevails and the truth will set you free. So I appreciate the ability to just be me and have to promote that, and don't have to do anything. I just tell my truth. I love it, I love it. Are you holding that even with the strike? I know where the strike is.

How is, are you good? Strike is driving me crazy. Oh my God. I have to do a, doing something later on to kind of educate people about the strike, a little bit more in layman's terms. It's, it's, it's really frustrating, but it's also, um, empowering. Yeah. To see, it's like COVID, COVID I called it the great equalizer.

Mm-hmm. Um, where people realized, I have a skill. Mm-hmm, I am being underpaid, and I can figure out how to repurpose this skill and provide. Now a lot of people like the famines and the Bible suffered. I don't think there is a person on this earth that did not know someone, or know someone that knew someone that suffered really bad from COVID. But it also did is gave black people, women, and men alike in the last two and a half years are the biggest entrepreneurs.

We have made more money and I'm not talking about PPP loans. That's being clear. Actually realizing that I've been selling insurance for this company, making this much, I can start my own insurance company. Yes. Because I have to do it from home anyway for this company, the great equalizer. So for the writer's strike and the actor's strike, I remember in 08 when we had the writer's strike, we had the same kind of suffrage as far as families

need to eat. Yeah. Billy Porter literally just sold his house. Crazy. Billy Porter. Billy, Billy Porter. He had been on Broadway. People, I've been a fan of Billy Forever. People didn't even know who he was until Pose. About the money he made and Pose alone. But you gotta realize, he has to fuel his machine. He has to pay people. He's building things also. So he's investing in himself.

So that liquid changes. And when you have a strike and you say, you can't write, you can't act, you can't work right now. That becomes debilitating for a large, large amount of people. Only 3% of actors are famous. Only 3% of actors are famous. Only 3% of actors are actually famous. So the people you know, we're the 3%.

The rest of them are working, thriving actors that are not famous, they make regular wages and they're trying to figure it out. So the only thing that's exempted right now is, I mean, even background work. Yeah. People can't do it. And they were only getting paid $50 a day. A day. Yeah. That $50 a day for five days a week, six days if you found something on the weekend, it adds up. Yeah. Not making that money. This recession, everything being a lot more expensive. I just know that my God has a plan. He has such a plan. He does. Because what we're striking for, which is the way the contrasts look,

her streaming. I mean, my show is on a streaming platform. Mine too, yeah. I love it, because I know the fact that everybody else on here came here and paid to watch me. It's like a ticket price. You know what I mean? This is not like, oh, I was sleepy. Let's just go down. I'm like, they paid to watch that.

This is TV for us by us with our stories. Yes. So fighting to make that make sense for the actors for the residual money, with those dollars look like later. It matters. It does. So I'm just holding on. Yeah, me too.

Not shopping as much, not a flan. But I'm not. I'm just playing a little bit. And I always have three hustles. So thank God that I always have other things going on and other businesses that I'm working. But this strike definitely keep everyone in your prayers. Georgia especially is a below-to-line state,

which means if you Omega-Bardist, you can work. You don't have to be union. You can find this dream and you can work. Now you can't. Even in LA, LA is destitute. I mean, I know people that have traded their cars in. To get cheaper cars, cars with electric cars, because everything is just- Yeah, I know people that have traded their cars in to get cheaper cars, cars with electric cars because everything is just selling cars.

Well, no, we're gonna go back to work. And not knowing when you're gonna make money and having a family to feed is extremely daunting. It is, yeah. It can drive you crazy. All right. Like even in this time I called to Nora and I said, hey, I wanna figure out more household,

you say three hustles, I need other things to come in because I don't want this to be my bread and butter. I want to put all my eggs into this bag because I have investments and stuff. But when it comes to like other things I got going on, like I need something that's mine that I'll say, I know I'm good, whether or not. And maybe that's what God is doing in this time. Yes. That's what I'm saying, like COVID, how everything he does,

even if he allows, that what God allows, because even if it look crazy, what he's going to do on the other side, on the flip side, is going to be so much bigger and better than he ever thought. So maybe it is just taking that time to write more, because you said you wanted to write. So now you got time, right? I got a lot of time to do a lot of things. You said you wanted to write. So now you got time, right?

I got a lot of time to do a lot of things. You said you wanted to do this, now do it. It gives you time to fuel it. And then in no time, because God will honor the desires of your heart. You will honor them. He will. And if we want to get back to work,

He won't let us get back to work. When we go back, it's going to be better. It was before. It will be. It will be. I can't wait. It was before. It will be. It will be. I can't wait. I'm excited.

I'm excited. I know this strike is tap dancing on a lot of us. My show hasn't shot in over a year. In a half. Wow. A year and a half? Mm-hmm. Oh my goodness.

Mm-hmm. Over a year. Yeah. Over a year and a half. Yeah. Over a year and a half since we shot. So this happens. So, because you guys supposed to be able to work now,

we should be able to work now. We should post, we're supposed to have a whole other season shot. So it makes me think about me. Okay, number one. All right, you saved your money. What about number two? Number three, the numbers go all the way down. 45.

What about all of the families that each one of those numbers represent, and that's just for the on-camera people on the call sheet. Flip that thing over. And look at all of these names and all of these people that make this work, so many people are out of money right now. But I do believe that God has a plan. I do believe that we are going to come out better for it. And I do appreciate the God has a plan. I do believe that we are gonna come out better for it.

And I do appreciate the solidarity with the guilt, the writer guilt and the actors guilt coming together. Because that was a little different than in 2008. It was, yes. It's like that white chair and Alabama, they say as black folks came six together. If you ever wanted to know, we could stick together, give me a white chair and and talk, so pop some.

I swim across, I love what was 16 years old. Swam across. Swam across. So you're gonna find a way, we're gonna make it, we're gonna figure it out. The strike is definitely tap dancing on a lot of our pockets, but I don't want us to lose hope. No, can't.

This is when we really gotta dig this. Yes. Yeah, and have that faith. Yes. And keep hope alive. Keep hope alive. Seriously. Yeah. It's going to be okay.

It is. It is. It's going to be okay. Yeah. I love it. And I get to sit over here on a couch see if we was filming. We wouldn't be able to do this.

No. God knows exactly what he does. He does. He does. I'm even grateful for this. This is another way I can still be creative during this time. And something like that. Everything happy at the, he already ordered the steps.

And I see it, I'm like, God, you've been working. He's been working. He knew what was going to happen in January when this was, the idea was brought to life, so. Well, you've been doing an amazing job. I don't miss any episode. I'm so excited. So excited.

Happy with the thing, we go together, we reposting you too much. Right. We do. We do. We do go together. So try me. I will so excited. Happy with everything. We go together and we're posting you too much. We do. We do. We do go together. So, Tommy, I will vet you. Period.

Okay. Alright, so we're going to get into my favorite part of the show. It's called Positive Outcomes. Where it's our open listener letter, we're someone writing and asking us for advice. We give them advice. Okay. So, this one says, hello, Crystal. Just wanted to start off saying, I love you and your journey.

You're so relatable on so many levels. I love seeing you on YouTube instead of having a weight on a new episode of Sisters or Zatima. I'm currently 33 years old and I've been married for 10 years. I have two children and I'm at a place where I feel like I've outgrown my husband tremendously. I don't receive the same support from him when he comes to my career as far as intimacy

and it's been all caps, been gone. He doesn't know how to stimulate me mentally. Let me use that word. She says I'm else. Stimulate me mentally like the other guys. What do you guys? Right. Finish a lot of them., I'm gonna finish a letter. I'm ready.

I'm gonna finish a letter. I'm gonna finish a letter. Right, and still doesn't know how to. He doesn't show any effort to want to change or make things better. He just wants to go with the flow. He's not going to file for the divorce, but we'll sign papers,

but also doesn't try to put any effort into saving us. I just feel like we aren't even leased at this point in life, and there's nothing more I can do to save us. I just feel like we aren't evenly yoked at this point in life. And there's nothing more I can do to save us. I am not happy at all. Should I stay or should I move on? What should I do? Help!

God! Ashley, are you listening? Ashley needs some help. Ashley needs some help, honey. First of all, okay. First, thank you for writing it actually. Thank you. I would say, I'm not married.

You know I won't let you take this easy because I'm not married. It's a real space. Yeah. I'm no longer married. I was married. It's a different space. So you have been with this man since you were 23. You're 33.

You're Jesus here. that is not an accident. By nature, you were meant to grow. You were meant to change. He was meant to grow and he was meant to change. By marriage, you were supposed to grow and change together. Yeah. And sometimes we're in a rat race of trying to do all these things to be a good wife or be a good husband.

We forget the small things, the little things. I would not give you advice to stay or to go miss Ashley. You know that, you've been knowing whatever that is in your heart, you've been knew that. But what I will say is, after you've done all you can, you leave it to God. You can only take a person to the well, you can't force the water down their throat.

You can teach him. I think that's one thing that I think is very important is communication. There is no expectation without communication. You can expect him to know that you don't like your ears kissed, if you don't tell him, stop kissing my ears. Right. Hit Nick.

I don't like the ears. You have to say something. Yeah. So men are beautiful specimens, but you know, not the brightest sometimes and quick on hints. So sometimes you have to just lay it out. Yeah.

I would advise you to be clear. Something tells me after 10 years of marriage and two children, you maybe been as clear as a crystal ball. Yeah. Comfort does set in. Mm-hmm. And you know, I read Michelle Obama's maybe Beness clears a crystal ball. Comfort does set in. And you know, I read Michelle Obama's book,

and she talked about how to better part of 10 years her in Barack. She was not happy. You know, it's crazy. Crazy. I was like, what? For the better part of 10 years. She wasn't happy, but she knew that this marriage

was not just about the marriage. This marriage was about moving an entire nation and world forward. So she sacrificed her happiness in those years so that she can do her job. So that later, that happiness was renewed. It was bringing back 100 fold. That's Michelle's story. Yeah, every story is different. It is. You have to know whatever your story is. For me, I have to choose me. Yeah, myself in life. My personal happiness. Yes. Because my happiness is what fuels my children. It's what fuels the people that God has put on this earth for me to help bless and to be a vessel and a conduit for. So I chose me.

There are times where I haven't chose me and it didn't work out so well. So sis, miss Ashley, you choose you. Whatever that means to you. Choose you for yourself and put them to kids. Because there is no amount of band-aiding, you can do in a situation. So true. There is no amount of tip towing around, kids are way smarter than you think.

And he ain't gonna go if you're a male makeup. Like she said, he's comfortable. If he's comfortable, it sounds like you're the uncomfortable person in the mix. He's not uncomfortable. So, this is your decision to make, but know that there is no wrong decision. And one thing my mommy always tells me is,

even if you mess up and make a bad choice, it was just choice to make, you can get up, God willing, and make another. Yeah, wow. So it's okay. Whatever your choice is, and make another. Yeah, wow. So it's okay. Whatever your choice is, and no one else is your walk, only you live in your head and your heart, and only you live in your head and your heart is okay.

That's it. Yeah. So no one can tell you how you're supposed to feel and what you're supposed to do. Yeah. You do what you want to do. I love it. And you know what that is. You know what to do. You know what to do.

You know what to do. Thank you Ashley. Thank you. That was amazing. Perfect advice, Eva. So now we're going to do part of the show where we say what I'm going through and what I'm growing through. Okay.

Okay, so I'll start off. I am going through, right now today, just seeing things from other people's perspective, especially people in my life that sometimes I get so caught up in, this is what I meant by this, this is how it is, but not seeing how it makes somebody else feel. You know, so I'm going through that and communicating, learning how to properly communicate. So I guess that's how I'm going through it and growing through. Okay. Yeah.

That's good. Yes, it's, yeah. That's a good communication key. It's key key. It's so necessary. Yes, it is. It's so necessary. And people can't assume.

Mm-hmm. No. You can't assume that they know. Right. Yeah. So that communication is so key. It's so necessary and people can't assume. You can't assume that they know. Right. Yeah. That communication is so cute. It's big. Yeah.

What I'm going through is learning how to be pampered and live the soft life. I have been a thug my whole life. Thug life. Thug life. Thug life. I have hustled and tried to figure it out for so long that I feel like I got away from my softness and not being a girl with fluffy hair. But I'm always that I got it person.

I got it. I'll do it. I got it. Learning how to sit back. I say you know what? I'm going to let you do it. I'll do it. I got it. Learning how to sit back. Yeah. I say, you know what? I'm gonna let you do it. Learning to be pampered for me,

especially in relationships that has never been my reality. Yeah. So now, especially in like dating, learning how to be like, you know what? Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Absolutely.

So that is what I am going can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Absolutely. So that is what I am going through and what I am growing through is... Take in my moments everything doesn't have to happen at once. And having gone through a divorce, for me, 24 hours is a long time of a day. And you go through a lot of a range of emotions. And you charge yourself, or I charge myself sometimes. Today's has to be a good day.

Being a good day doesn't mean you're not going to stumble in the day. It doesn't mean you're not going to need a reset in the day. I reset like 15 times in a day. I do. I press a little butt like all right, let's shift back. Because your emotions, your life, you're going to message. Yeah. And that message just change everything.

But does it change everything? Or do you let it change it? You let it. You allowed it. So I stop letting these little moments take my joy because the joy is in the journey anyway. It is. It's like prom. You get ready for prom. You go with your friends, you can get your nails done. We'll call you when we're going to sing and call you when we're in different colors. We're riding together. How much time How much time have I got put a limb up? So you get all your little stuff together. The joy isn't that journey because once you get to prom, prom is like, ah, now. You came by, your friends, your pitchy little crazy little curl don't fail now.

You know, the joy was really in the journey. Yes. Wow. And we're looking at that end and I'm learning to have joy in my journey. Instead of just looking for that thing at the end and just head down, blinders on like a horse and just trying to get there. It's like, no, no, no, pull off the blinders, look around. There's flour. Oh, there's a chair.

Maybe you should relax and smell it. Learning to take my moments, to really take my moments there for me. I can miss them or I can hold them. So, learning to hold them. I love them. So good, Eva. Oh my gosh, this isn't so good. I love you, I love you too.

Look at this, our dad. We really good. I've got it. Who needs therapy? Right, we can just sit on the couch. We still need therapy. I want you to therapist. Oh, yes, yes, yes, Oh, I got it. Who needs therapy? Right, when we can sit on the couch. I want your therapist. I want your therapist. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes. What episode was that? That was Navigating the anxiety with the ladies. Dr. Delay Zimmerman. Dr. Zimmerman? She spoke to my heart like the pastor spoke to me at church. She's amazing therapy. She is.

But this couch is like therapy. What you are doing, you are your own doctor, baby mama crystal. You are the good doctor out here. Winning souls to the Lord. Yes. Yes. That's what I do. I'm on fire for the Lord. We do a little thing before we close out called keep it blank, sweetie. Okay. And I'm gonna take from young Marley. Okay. Keep it kind, sweetie. Yes. Yeah.

Keep it kind. Keep it gracious, sweetie. Mm. That's good. I love it. Wow. Oh my gosh, even thank you so much. Thank you.

This was, this was so good, guys. I hope this episode blessed you the way it blessed me. Who, how do you gonna need your clean nicks? And you might wanna run this on back because it's so good. Eva was dropping gyms on this one. If you wanna ride into our positive outcomes, listen to letter right into keep it positive,

sweetie at gmail.com and that is sweetie with an i.e. You can follow Kits on all platforms and you can also follow me at LUV Christopher Nay on all platforms and even, please tell the people where they can find you. You can find me at even Marcel on all platforms. That's right, all right. Guys, in the meantime, until next time,

you know what to do, keep your positive sweetie. Bye! Bye!