Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Sisterhood

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Season 1 Episode 10 | This week I have my sistas on the couch. Join us as we talk about sisterhood, love, relationships, boundaries and much more. I pray that all of the women out there have a village of women that supports and pours into them like mine, because I truly don't know what I'd do without my girls. Get into the kiki that I had with my girls  @raiyonda @ninacemonewright @loveari_2112 !! #KIPS

Hello and welcome to this episode of Keeping Positive Sweeties. Today we are talking about, can you take a while, guess? You see who I'm with? My company. Today we are talking sisterhood. And listen, I know you guys know me on the TV show, Sisters, but today I have my real sisters with me. With me, I have Ariel, who is my friend, because you know, friends, they all hold different places

in your heart. Ariel is the first in who I know. It's here for the right reasons. I never have to question her, and she's one of the most supportive people that I know. To my right, I have my boo, who started on this. My costume design, we costume design together for a few years for Tyler Perry for all his projects

and become one of my closest friends. We took a trip together and after that, I was like, oh yeah, she's stuck with me forever. Rihanna is the friend that will pull up when you need her and when I say pull up, her nickname is Ray Ray. Ray Ray is, you see this smile? Oh, oh, Ray Ray.

Ray Ray, Ray Ray, no, no, no, no. Ray Ray is in the toilet, but I love you so much. I love you. Thank you for coming. Seriously.

Am I food? Oh. The one. The one. The only. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. Nina Simone writes.

Nina Simone writes. First of all, Nina is hilarious. Second, Nina is my prayer warrior. Anytime I'm going through anything, I know that I can call on you to give me a prayer call to call them warriors. Yeah. And the angels will start to camp around me

and I appreciate you so much. You're not only funny, but you are my direct line of God. So I appreciate you. Yeah, so happy to have you all in my life. Yeah. Oh my goodness, guys, when I think about sisterhood, I think about the song Best Friend by Brandy and goes, don't know what I ever do without you from the beginning to the end.

You've always been here right beside me so I'll call you my best friend. You've been a homie man! I went low. And through the good times in the bad you guys have all been there for me and I appreciate you guys. As you remember us for sure sure. Definitely your reciprocal relationships. Thank you. Always. Thank you so much.

Seriously, thank you for your time. Sit on the couch with me. I'm here by myself sometimes. I have guests. But to share this face with you guys, you guys share a lot of my personal space with my secrets, my troubles, my worries, my success, joys, everything.

I get to share with you guys. So to have you guys here, and to be able to say those words and truly mean it means so much. Oh, cheers to that. Cheers. Can we get into how beautiful you all look? Oh, thank you. Do you all see the hair in the chest?

And all the things shut out to Destiny Kelly, who is styled by Destiny on Instagram. You guys have seen me post her. She does my natural hair. Keece and nice and healthy. But she's stopped by today to take care of us. And you guys look so good. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, Destiny. Thank you, Destiny. Oh, man. So when I think about friendship, how I define a friend is a safe space, you know, because you can be around a lot of people and not feel safe. Yeah. But when I look at you guys, I, I, it's no judgment. I never, I can tell you guys just like

the worst thing about me. I'm like, okay, you're gonna like either tell me, Christmas, okay, you're not perfect or you're like, hey, this is something you need to work on. You're gonna tell me the truth, you know, and you're supportive when you need to be. You're my mirror when I need a mirror. And friends are also non-judgmental. They are people that you can trust, people that you can share your highs and lows with, and people that you can grow with. And I've literally grown with all of you. A lot of women don't have the ability to say

that they've actually grown with their friends, because everybody's not here to stay. But I'm glad that God has chosen you all to stick by me through thick and thin. How would you guys define friends? Like, when you think of friends and sisters, because some people have biological sisters and some people don't, do you guys have any? I know, I have two sisters. One. One. You just have brother. Yeah, just brother.

Just brother. One older sister. One older sister. So when you have people who are not related to you come in and play that role, what does that mean to you? And how would you define a sister of her? So my sister wasn't in my life for years, just because of the strife between her and my dad.

So I looked for sisters in women, for instance. So Rihanna's sister's, line sisters. And so for me, it's support. It's unconditional love. It's, you know, checking me right need to be checked. Don't just be my yes man. Challenge me. Challenge when I'm not doing something right,

hold me accountable to the goals I set for myself. But also, don't stop my growth. Don't stop me from reaching the stars. Don't shoot down my drains or aspirations. So, that's what a sister or a friend looks like. That's who you are. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. That's a drink. A drink. I'm not a favorite part. I'm not a favorite part. The drink. Yeah. Awesome.

How would you define a sister in a friend? I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid.

I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid.

I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid. sort of thing. And for me growing up as only child for 11 years was like I had to have pretend friends right? Yeah. And you know, now I look at I know. But now I look at it and I reflect on just my friends and how my friends have developed into my sisters. And they've been supportive. They've been here for my growth, they've been there for my good times, my bad times, you know, my sad times, through

sickness and through health. And when you have somebody who can be there through every step in life, you're abs and your flows and support you no matter what, that becomes a sister. Somebody who can pray with you, somebody who can be there for your good times and share graduations and everything with you, all those moments, that's who you can define as a real sister. Yeah, that's how I define it. My sister.

I love that. When I think about you, everybody that all the women that you have in your life, absolutely love you. And I tell people, I was like, I've never made anybody like Rihanda Like seriously. You have this infectious spirit The first day I mentioned I was like yep, this is it And then it's like everything our lives just continued to grow together But I'd always look around and see how everyone just amars you and gravitates you like men and women

You know what this to as I'm and see how everyone just marries you and gravitates you. Like, me and them women, because everybody loves Ray. Yeah. You know what it is, too, is I think because once you find who you are as a person, right? And you really know who you are deep within and people gravitate to you because they know that she knows who she is. She knows herself where, and I don't come, like, there's no foresight. What you see is truly what you get and who I am as a person. And I think that helps in all my relationships

to be genuine and real. Yeah, I love that. So good and so true. Yeah. Nenebos! Yes, honey. You know, I'll say this. I had up until like my 30s,

I didn't always have the best relationship with women. And I think I pledged a sorority and it was a little caddy. And then, what's a r-a-d? I'm an AKA child. I saw the light, honey, that's all they were, why? How you seeing the light? She's either way.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I love it. I love it! A lady of alpha, Kappa Alpha, is already incorporated.

Oh, they're right. I had to go ahead and put that out there. I'm surrounded by AKS. She loved light. You are light. But I never experienced it. Now that I'm in my 30s, I feel like I can really experience true sisterhood.

And I think what it is is somebody who's with you in the valleys and on the mountain top. I think for me, my sisters and my friends are like the people who they remind me of who I am in moments when I forget. Because every time you step out your door, you scroll on Instagram, the life is trying to tell you who you are not. But my friends were mad at me, what the, oh, that ain't guys best.

It's not your best. This is not who you are. You know, and remind me and pick me up. And so I really think that that's what sister here is about. Oh, yeah. I love it. I love it. It has ever been a time where you recall

that your sister was your saving grace. And I'll go first on this. Little story time. Story time. Story time. Story time. So once upon a time, I was dating this guy. Was he cute?

Was he cute? No. He was cute. Okay, he was cute. Okay, that's a point? What's he doing? What's he doing? No, he was cute. Okay, he was cute. Okay, that's a point. That's a point to the form. That's a point. He was cute. And I won him other cute.

He's got white other cute too. Okay, look, look. He was cute. He was cute. He was cute. He was cute. He was handsome. But he was very manipulative.

He was not ready, doing other things. I heard, looking crazy. Crazy. Okay, I was looking crazy. And it got to a point where I just kept saying sign, after sign, after sign. And I remember like, I had just bought a house. It was in 2017. we made in 2015.

And we're, by your first home, this is like a new level. You know, like God is taking to another level. And we got this huge fight. I'm talking about, we were Houston's, which I love Houston, shout out Houston. I love Houston. It's a little suspended, dude, that's our spot. I love it. I love it. I love it Houston. Shout out to Houston. This is what it's the Spanish deal. This is our spot. I was gonna say it!

Anytime I go to Houston, when I'm ready, I don't have to send her a picture. I'm gonna be like, it's my last week. Yeah. I love it. I thought that photo, they were like, girl, you hungry or not.

But we were Houston taking a little move and break because I was moving into my house that day. My parents were on the way and it had started raining and we had a huge argument and he said something that just when I say like, y'all, I'm not, I'm gonna tell y'all the truth because I don't want people thinking I'm without flaw. I blacked out and I lost it on this man.

I'm talking about, it was just like nobody puts baby in the corner. Like you can push me and push me and push me into that corner. And I'm gonna keep taking it. Oh, you taking it, yeah. Keep taking it, keep taking it. As we all do, you know, and I came out swinging. And like literally blacked out,

like the outlet in the back seat of the truck was, Hey, I don't know, how was I in the back? I don't know what happened. I was like, oh my goodness. And he put, I called Rayonder. It started raining. He put me out of the car. I called Rayonder and I was like, you gotta come give me.

I was like, I just lost it on him. And she was like, well, where are you? She pulls up on me and she gets me back to my home. Other things transpired within that night. But by the time the end of the night came and I was driving to my new home, it was as if God himself set in the car and said, Crystal, where I'm taking you, he can't go.

And I was like, heard you, God it, God, I'm so sorry, I got it. I hate that it took this to get it. And he said, I knew that you weren't gonna leave if I didn't let it get this to get it. And he said, I knew that she weren't going to leave if I didn't let it get this extreme. And I just found out last week when I asked you if it was OK to talk about this story that you actually were on a date and left him to come get me. Yes.

Funny story, though. The person I was on a date with was my most toxic relationship in life. Wow. Wow. So guys were pretty have no listen. Listen, God, things happen for a reason. God makes no mistakes.

So yes, I left that date to come get my friend because guess what, he wasn't going to be in my life forever. She was going to be in my life forever. We love you. You're going to be crying. Wow. And I remember I was so scared because I was like, I didn't know what he was going to do after that.

So I was scared to even stay in my old place. So I went and got a room that night and my parents are on the way. I was scared to tell them what had happened. Yeah. Because I think in moments like that, you are so used to be administrative that you're like, okay, is it going to work again? I don't want to tell of you people what happened, because I might get back with him and then be embarrassed.

And one thing we know is that when your friends or family see the flaws of your significant part, the way your heart can get over things, your family and friends can not be mad. You know, and to this day, we're cool now, and he loved Ray Ray. And I love him, but not for you. You see what I'm saying. And I love him, but not for you. You see what I'm saying?

You put love somebody, but not for you. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. Oh my goodness. And that's a real thing. That's so mature. And I think a lot of times we cut people off.

I'll be good with them. Mm-hmm. No, they're not a bad person. They just not ready for that. Yeah. And they were just doing what they knew to do. Yeah. And sometimes it's black men, they're doing all they see.

Repeating the cycles of their grandfather, and their father who was absent, just doing what they saw, thinking this is how you do it, and also being influenced by society and thinking, oh, this is what it's supposed to do. And I realize, and then I have a prize right here, and I'm really messing it up. So that's my like saving great story. All right, you're needing a right, buddy.

I have one. And I've never shared this story before, but I feel like to share it. So it involves you. Oh, okay. In 2022 last year was a really hard year for me financially. And my business was suffering so bad. And I remember at your birthday party,

you had made the sponsorship of your given for serenity, which is my business. And it was like every week, it was always something I would call my parents. And I could just see like, you know, it's a family business. So to see the weight of my parents, like them trying their best with their retirement and everything to make this work, it's a family business, so to see the weight of my parents, like them trying their best with their retirement

and everything to make this work, it just got so heavy. And I remember me telling them, well, y'all, I got a, what's it think, called life insurance? I'll be the one. I'll set me the sacrificial land. Y'all can just take my life insurance, pay off all the debt.

So on this day, I had decided, you know, this is done, Lord, I'm done with this, I am done, you know, this is done, Lord. I'm done with this. I am done. You know, and I remember me going home, I had went to work out with Jay. I had came home and I had prayed and I said, God, if you want me to stay, I say, you're going to have to lighten this.

That's it because I am not built for this and I am tired. Jesus. I went into the office and you called me. And I had seen, I had text, you had text me too. He's like, hey, I didn't want to, I wanted to give my donation or whatever to your business. And I said, and she said, I have a text you,

and you didn't get it. And I said, oh, at that moment, you donated to my business. And it was a sign from God that he was with me and he hurt me. Oh, and it literally aside from God that he was with me and he hurt me. And it literally saved my life. And so I hear so many times on your podcast, I just want to say this, you talk about how Tyler was there for you and he and pardon you,

but just know that what he pardoned you was for somebody else so you could pardon to them. So I love you and I thank you for that because you literally saved me on excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I have a love song that I give at the end of the year to different people and different projects and things that I'm passionate about. And that was like when I wanted to give substantially to you. So I'm so happy that God put it on my heart to answer your prayer on that day.

And it needed to have it on that day for his glory. Because if I hadn't done it before, it would be like, oh, my friend is so great. That was good. He needed you to get down on your knees to that last moment where to know that he did that. Not crystal. And it was so funny because a lot of people

wanted to know God has provided, but you can't know him as a provider. I'm just your in need. And so when me calling out and saying, God, I need you to do this. And then immediately, people, when they try to give you saying, God, I need you to do this. And then immediately, you know, people, when they try to give you money, they text you, you're gonna respond with shoe.

Right? But you actually picked up the phone to call and follow through. And it was just like, yeah. God sees me. Wow, that's beautiful. Yeah. Oh, wow.

I have to get emotional. Oh, girl. I'm so just glad everybody laughs just a little bit. I'm just glad. I'm really glad. I'm so mine everybody laughs just a little bit. I'm so glad. So mine, you guys know or have heard, but in 2020, I was beaten by an ex boyfriend. And Crystal had just met him, like maybe a month before it happened and I don't want to cry.

I'm good. I'm strong. I'm safe space. cry. I'm good. I'm strong. It's a safe space. So it happened, and Crystal was the first person I called. And she put me in contact with her friend who's a lieutenant in the DA's office. He's the reason why he got arrested abruptly. He's the reason why it got, where it got, it's gotten to.

And it wasn't just that night, like she made sure I had a phone, she made sure somebody was with me at all times. All of my other friends rallied around me so I did not go back. Because again, no excuse should be made for someone that abuses somebody, but I do understand the thought process

of someone that is abused immediately. You try to figure out what you did wrong. What did I do? How could I have prevented this? All of that. Not for a second that I get a chance to do that. I was reminded day in and day out. My value, my worth, that I did not deserve what happened to me.

And even to this day, like, we're three years in as of, like, a couple weeks ago. Finally got a court date. When I tell you, my friends filled that courtroom so that you had to face all of us, not just her. And I was reminded that you're not alone in this. You have to get up there and speak, but understand you have us backing you and we'll hold you if you can't hold yourself.

We will be there for you. There are people that came to my house unannounced just because they knew I was not in a place. Pack of bad, let's go. And I just, I appreciate that. I'm not gonna cry because I told myself when he brought me. But no, that was just before it happened, I was always the one giving and doing. And I'm like, dang, if I needed to, my that couldn't count nobody even while. And then God was like, what? Order now. Order, I'm sorry. Let me show you. Let me show you. Let me show you. Let me show you.

What you really have in your corner. And now to this day, I would give all of my friends, I would loan them to be. Yeah. Because the support that I get from them, it's it's unmatched. And I'm so appreciative. I'm so thankful. Because y'all were there. Like, if you weren't physically present, you were there in my phone praying for me. You were in a prayer class, a prayer for me, or you were pulling up on me.

So that's my story when my sister showed up for me. And really, and to this moment, people are still texting, OK, I didn't make it, but we need something good. And so I appreciate that. okay I didn't make it but we need something good and so I appreciate that. And I didn't cry. It was almost there. It was like, Ray Ray. So, I would say this was a childish part of my life. This happened. It was a boyfriend in college, and I was home in Pittsburgh

at the time, and someone caught him cheating on me. And he was out of town cheating on me. And so I went to his house. Before I went to his house, I caught some of my friends. They came to his house before I went to his house. I caught some of my friends. They came to the house and we all had on all black. Ooh! My mom came on the porch and she said, I don't know what's about to happen,

but I'm just saying a prayer for all of y'all. So we got in the car and we headed to his house. in the car and we headed to his house. And I kid you not, I had tole a paper, eggs, like I had intended on vandalizing this man's house. And so when we were in the car about to get out, my friend said, do you, are you really wanting to do this? Think about it. She was like, cause we're going to wrath for you regardless.

If you want to go through it. But ain't no going back after you do it. Really? Like, once it's done, it's done. And you know what the repercussions are after. And I said, you know what? I want to do it. That was the one of the worst mistakes I made in my life.

But I'll say this, my friends were with my, by my side, and they tried to talk me out of it, but they were going to be by my side regardless because they were my friends. Wow. And we banded the last dismantles house. And his mother called him and said, I don't know who did this to your house,

but I think it was your ex-girlfriend. And if she ain't your ex, she need to be your ex. Your ex. Your ex. I get up. I would just say that was a learning lesson for me, right? It was a pivotal point in my life because I realized after I did that, we had a big blow up, we broke up, but we talked about it. After we got over the initial, you know, meds, state and the arguing and cussing each other out.

And it made me realize if a relationship is that bad, if a man is going to cheat on you, just walk away. The best revenge is tried to walk away from every relationship that did not serve me anymore at that point. But that's when my friends were there for me. They were ready to ride her down, whatever I wanted to do, even though they wanted to talk me out of it, they were there for me. That's good.

Shotsy, you're free. Yeah, that's real winter. Yeah, I said ride. I'll see you free. Yeah, that's real winter. Yeah, that's a ride. I think that's our bit. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta get down there. You do. You know, it's not even once in a while.

It feels good to my flesh to cut somebody out. Yeah, yeah. But you know, you cut some out. I actually banned the last time. It feels a little bit better after it did. I did. You see? But that was wrong. It was feel a little bit better after this? I did. Did you see? But that was wrong.

It was wrong. It was wrong. It can be wrong. It can be wrong. It can be wrong. And he can still do that. Okay. It's not right, but it's okay.

Who was that? That was me. It's not right. It's not right. But it's okay. Okay. I'm gonna make it in you ass. Pat fans Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like, as you're getting older, do you feel like it's easy to nurture friendships

and make new friends, or do you feel like you find it harder as you get older and learn more, and, or it's because I know Drake said no new friends. How do you feel about that? I think that was the biggest lie told. I feel like every season that you have, God sends people, and then I don't mean they're gonna be there for every all-do-your-life, like every season that you have got since people. And then I mean, they're gonna be there for every,

all your life, but he literally sends people for just that assignment. I was just thinking about when I moved to LA, like the friends that he had sent to help me to get my car out there. I don't talk to these ladies anymore, but they were on assignment for me. And had I been like, oh, no new friends.

Then I went to Hag, you know, met the people that I have met at this point. So I think it's really important to, you know, like the K commercial says, keep your heart open and love what always finds itself in. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Every kiss, every kiss with K sponsor.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I need some damage. Oh, yeah. I'm a Danny! I'm a Danny! I'm a Danny! I'm a Danny! I don't think it's harder. I think it's easier. Because as you're getting older, you should be getting wiser.

Should be no. In everybody's situation. But it's something we talked about earlier. I know that everybody that's in my life cannot necessarily pour into me the way that I pour into other people. But for me, building relationships now, it's like, okay, how are they serving me?

Are they serving me at all? Yes or no? I'm a lot more clear in what I want in my life and what I don't. So now it's easier for me to funnel through. Cause I met you in 2019. I met you in 2019. Yeah. I met you in 2020.

It's 2020-23. Wow. And I would say y'all are closer to me than people I've known for years. Yeah. But that also comes with there's effort on both parts to build their relationship. It's not as easy.

Cause we all have lives. We're all going through our own individual things. Yeah. But I think as long as you understand what your assignment is to your point and to the people that are in your life and understand what their assignment is to you and then it's those expectations appropriately because that's when you lose people.

When you're thinking, oh, she should give me what she gives me but she ain't hot. And she ain't hot. And that's not what they're supposed to do. But also, I think boundaries are healthy. We talk about this several times. Boundaries are important. You don't have to cut people off,

but you do have to place them where they're supposed to be. They don't impact your life negatively. Because you can't, if you over here, you can't affect what's over here. That's cool. But I can meet you over here from time to time, and check on you and have a conversation with you, but you can't come over here.

It's too sacred over here. That's good. That was you, you tapped into something that my manager, Denora, touched on today on Instagram, and it really resonated with me. A lot of times, I think, when it comes to pouring into other people, and we pour important, pour important,

I'm not getting it back. And she says something today, and I was like, wow, that's it. We can pour into people, well, I'm not getting it back. And she says something today, and I was like, wow, that's it. We can pour into people, but maybe it's not their assignment to pour into us. So sometimes our assignment is literally that person, you know? And when she said I was like, wow, that is so powerful, because what we need may be coming from someone else.

But we're looking for it to come from the person that we're just giving and giving and giving to, thinking that we're being depleted. And like, this is not equally yoked. Like like you're not doing enough, but the thing is maybe they don't have it to give. And maybe it's not for them to give in that relationship, but this person is here to give to you the way you need. Absolutely. So when she said that I was like wow, you just you said something that really reminded me of that. Every place you sow is not going to be where you reek. That's very true. But I was gonna sing you somebody.

Yeah, I was gonna sing somebody. You have to believe that and be patient. Yeah. But again, it's the expectation, me and it's me. It goes back the same way with men. I don't want a guy. I'm always talking to men from a boy. Same with your girlfriends.

Yeah. For your acquaintances. And I think friendship really for me at this age is about honesty. I think you have to give your friends like the honest truth, we can do it with love, we're gonna get there and tell them the truth, but I cannot have people around me

that I cannot tell the truth to. I have to be able to tell you the truth and you have to give me the grace to be able to be myself. For sure. And I give that same grace to my friends as well. So it's important, you know. Mm-hmm.

I want to speak to that, because I've had a long-term friendship. And I don't really have many fallouts with friends, but we had a fallin' out. And what I found out is sometimes it's okay to take a break from people. You can be friends with people and disagree on something. And it's okay to take a break from people. You can be friends with people and disagree on something. And it's okay to take breaks. You don't have to be in the same space

at the same level with that friend at all times. Because you can disagree on something to say, okay, I need a break from you for a minute. And that's what I did. We took a step apart. But then, in that moment, it was like a few months had passed, and we realized, you know, how much we missed each other. Now, that's not always the case. You can

step a part and realize, like, oh, I'm better without that person. But for us, we realized that we really, really, truly missed each other. And so we, as adults, you know, set up a time to talk about everything. Like, what is our issues with each other? How can we correct it? You know, what are my flaws in this friendship? What are your flaws in this friendship? And it made us closer. You know what I mean?

And it made us respect each other's boundaries in a different way. Because sometimes I could think that I'm not overstepping, but I could be overstepping. You see what I'm saying? An open communication and real communication helps you understand your friend inside and out. You know what I mean?

Because what your friend was at, because we've been friends since we were middle school. So what my friend expectations of a friendship in high school and college has changed. Absolutely. Women. You know what I mean? And what her boundaries were then aren't her same boundaries.

So sometimes you gotta do self-checking, friend-checking. Like I do them in relationships with men, and I do them in relationships with friends. Let's have a check in. Like how, you know, it's okay and it's healthy to do that. Yeah. Because you're not always on the same page, and you might notice some tension, but not no why. No, let's talk about it.

I say communication eliminates confusion. Yes, absolutely. Just in your personal relationship. Do we have an awesome way? Yeah. Period. Communication really. But yeah, I think the check-ins are great.

It's necessary. Like to your point, we're growing. And we're changing, and our priorities are changing. And you need to make sure you can meet me where I am. Or vice versa. Yes. I have never sure you can meet me where I am or vice versa. Yes. I have never fallen out with a friend where I can't come back from it.

But I do think that, again, I'm a person of just boundaries because life is short. Yeah. People are dying. We just talked about this earlier, like closer to our ages. Yes. And you don't have a chance to mend that.

So is there a way to still being shut as lies within a certain capacity? Yeah. Is that possible? I'm not a person that say, cut them off, cut off. Well, him maybe, hurt now. Right. You know, just set some boundaries.

Set it to where it works for both of you. And if you can, it can. But at least try. You will never regret trying, especially if that was a friend, a sister, for however many years. So, but I haven't found out. Nobody to really have to give an input on that though.

That's good. That's good. That's a blessing. Yeah. Because recently, I, you all know that I'm going through something with a really close friend of mine. And it just got to the point where I realized like this person isn't happy for me. You know, they're't happy for me.

They're not happy for my success. It was underlying jealousy, envy, and a lot of things going on that I was blind to for a while. And then as I continued to climb, I'm like, wait, I started just noticing like this person really isn't here for me. The way I feel like it goes back to like, I'm here for you, you know, and I've done these things for you. Why can't I get the same return?

And I found myself, just be like, okay, that's what you're gonna do, and that's what I'm gonna do. So I wouldn't support her, you know? And I pulled back on my giving because I'm like, I'm literally sharing everything with you, my whole life, you know, even like put you in position that didn't work out, that's not my fault that didn't work out. But I put you in position, I'd include you

in every single part of my life, even with my family. And it got to the point where it got very territorial. So if I wanted to do something with, just that I wanted to do something with you, then it was an issue. Or if I wanted to go vacation with somebody else or go somewhere without her, it became an issue. And it got territorial.

I'm just like, you know, on me, you know what I'm saying? And I've done enough. And I say it, like, I go through days where I miss her so much. And then it's other times when I'm like, but that wasn't healthy for me. And then it goes back to having boundaries. It goes back to knowing where you are in your life and understanding that my therapist told me,

she said, everybody that comes with you, can't go with you. And I think we get stuck on this loyalty thing. Like, no, there was with me in the trenches. Like, I gotta take them with me. I gotta put my dog on. I gotta do this, gotta do that. Then you like have this guilt trick

where you feel like you gotta do all these things. But then you realize all this stuff isn't enough. And then you don't spend all this money, spend all this time trying to cultivate a person who wasn't ready to be cultivated. And I would always say if you're my best friend, you're right here with me and God hasn't done it yet, what makes you think he's not going to do it if you did it for me? You know what I'm saying? But you can't see past what I should be where she is.

I'm not there. Why am I not there? You know, like, we came together. Why is everybody around me continues to elevate? And I'm not. And I was like, we had a heart to heart one day. And I was just like, it's because you're not happy for people. God looks at your heart.

He looks at the people that are cheering up people on when it's not their season. They can be like, God, I know if you do. We always say, I see what you do for someone who's a lot of fun. You're not a respectful person. Yes, I know it's something. But people get so down themselves that they can't see that you're right here. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like, we all have our things going on, but when you put my neighborhood, we all, we all live in hell. Yeah, we all live in hell. And it like, so if you're right here, we are living how we live in. And so if you're right here, it's gonna happen. You know what I'm saying? You're in the proximity. And I think sometimes jealousy is a natural emotion.

But I remember a guy getting me a revelation. It's like the only way you can really be jealous if you forget the plans that I have for you. Yes. Yes. I have plans for you to prosper you and not to harm you. Yes. That don't mean I don't have those same plans for a crystal I got a for ran I got a for Nina

I got a for you and so I think for me like growing up I had the worst Situation with friends. It was always so caddy all throughout my 20s I made a vow when I got in my 30s I'm not arguing with friends and said Lord, whoever, whoever you need to take, you have to take. And one of the things that one of my friends pointed out to me, now I have the healthiest relationships that I've ever had in my life,

as far as friendships. Now with me and I don't know about that. But, but people have an expiration date. They have an expiration date. And sometimes we have to be okay with God saying, I love you, but that's not where this can go. And that's hard. It's very hard.

That's hard because we grew up being loyal and stuff like that. So I feel like I'm like now channeling that. Like, God, you sure? I don't wanna let that go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, God, you sure? You sure I got to let this go? I don't want to let that go. No, no, no, no. I'm so happy. We need fighting. We need fighting it. But people coming your life for a season, a region, and a lifetime.

Yeah. Sometimes it's really up to us to really pay attention and hone in on what stage are they in there for just a reason? Yeah. And that reason necessarily has to be bad. It could be for a good reason for you to be a blessing to them or to teach them something.

It could be for a lifetime. So where they're going to weather all the seasons with you. There's a duration of your life. So. Yes. You have to be able to. You have to be able to. Yes, everybody right now.

Yes, everybody. Yes, everybody. Yes, that's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Oh, I'm just reaching for you. Yes, but the only way you are they adding value or they're defeating you, are they sucking, sucking the life out of you just making for me?

And the only way people can really go with you for a lifetime in my opinion at this age is if they are doing the work on themselves. Yes. Because baby. You know what I'm saying? I am. You are, you are, and you are.

If you're not, you can't see. Yeah. It shows. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show.

It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show.

It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. It's gonna show. a person that's ready to be accountable. And some people are not. And I always say this, when I was able to let people go,

that I felt like we were going to be for a lifetime, God gave me better. Me. And that's how you know. That's your confirmation though. That's your confirmation. When that happens, and he shows you the light, that's your confirmation.

But it's okay to be hesitant because that's life. You know, it's on the other side of that door, but you do have to remember who we serve who we have our faith in It's not enough. Yeah, he knows it plans. We don't It's just really owning that but also understand the longer you lost somebody in your life. That's why you ain't on them You know you see it. Yeah, you're no longer blind You can't see and you're allowing that person there. So now you have to take accountability for yourself for allowing it.

No. Oh. Oh. Oh. I can't have been the team. You can't say that because I had a friend that I was so, so close to like thick as the. And we fell out.

And it got to a real like, what did we fall out about? Because it ended up not even being us. Yeah, some people around us that it just didn't look right. Yeah. And years went on and we didn't talk. Life moved on and she hit me randomly. I had a blue one day and was like, I've been in counseling and I just wanted to know if we could sit down and talk.

So we sat down and had a conversation and we are back like lover to death. You know say we're not like we were before and I say that to say that not all like friends that get you know saying put on pause like you say sometimes I need a break or like this isn't it for me. If people are accountable, go back to that word if they are accountable and do the work and and then our big enough to come back and say hey yeah this is where I felt short and I see what you were trying to do for me. I see and I was wrong and can we mend this thing and may not go back to what it was. But like I never stopped loving you. I'm always praying for you like so I can let you back in but we say

in a different capacity. It may not be how it was before. But you can call me anytime you need me. If you want to go on a trip every now and then we can do that. Yeah. When you town hit me up, we're still seeing birthday gifts. Like, I really loved her and love her to death now. Still to this day, but that's just an example of how I fell out with somebody. It was a break. It's like, you know what I'm saying?

It was just nothing that we did. It was people around us. And we knew she got to the bottom. And she's like, dang, I miss my friend. Yeah. And that's how we got. I love her. You She's like, dang, I miss my friend. Yeah. And that's how we got. I love her. You know who you are. You know who you are.

I had a friend do that one time and she came to me and I wasn't honest. This is what I say about honesty. I wasn't honest with her about how I felt about the situation. Well, two years went by. We didn't speak. And she reached out to me like, you really been on my heart and I was like, okay, we got together and I told her, you know, your friendship with this person really bothers me. Because that person tried to fight me, this problem. And she said, well, how did they can go? Cause you are the most important thing to me.

And that meant so much to me. I think sometimes we villainize people, but if we really get down to being honest with them and give them an option, because if I don't give you, if I'm not honest with you, I don't give you an option to be able to choose. But when I am honest with you, then I give you an option to show me who you really are. And so that honesty and her saying that that she chose me, I love her to them. I love her. Come on. I love this. So you know, in relationships with men, we have love languages.

Yes. You have friendship, love languages. Yes, absolutely. What a job! What are you doing? What a job, love, friendship, love, like, wait. Love, love, love. I'll love that.

I do. Was your words of affirmation? Really, yes. Absolutely. I love, I mean, and that's the thing is like, I love giving my friends work, because I grew up with a mom who is, so she sings, she used to be a singer,

and she sings everywhere, and she will compliment every single stranger, she finds beauty in everything. She's always been one of those type of people. And so she always taught me, like if you see somebody and you think they're beautiful, you think they have one of nice outfits, say it. There's nothing wrong with complimenting people because you might put a yes, you might put a smile on somebody's face for a reason. You not know what is going on in their lives. That is very

true. My mom's talking about it too. Yeah, smile at everybody because you never know what somebody's going through and your smile may change that day. Yeah, that's kindness. And I say that about my friendships now, like being with Christo and my friendships now and Ari, I'm like, dang, I really have nice girls. Because I grew up in, I guess a mean girl era, but now people are so nice. I'm like, I can't be nice. Oh, I'm happy to meet you.

Oh, me being a baddie. That's no me, she not a baddie too. AHHHHH! AHHHHH! It was like a- AHHHHH! It was like that. Oh, just my- This is my third time. I'm gonna know, see how it's been.

So, what's your love language, what's your friends? I would say active service gives and quality time. I like to do things for my friends. If I can, spend quality time. I pray to God that I can see them, the way he sees them. So if I need to say something, I can say it. And then gives. I pray to God that I can see them the way he sees them. So if I need to say something like I can say it and then guess I love some gifts. And I try my best to give those gifts back, you know, or whatever. So I think that's those are my languages.

Okay, let me say someone. Okay. She's a good gift. I got a mat. I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a gochup.

I'm a gochup. I'm a gochup. I'm a gochup. I'm a gochup. I'm a gochup. I'm a gochup. I'm a gochup. I'm a gochup.

Jump along. This is all sale. What is your love language for your friends? For my friends, quality times, I love getting one. Because I don't have a lot of time. So we get to do our little date nights and girls night and just talk and drink and laugh and kiki. Those are the most special moments, I mean.

Because I don't get that a lot, because I'm so busy with everything. And then I would say, words of affirmation, which you guys do that all the time, poor enemy, let me know, hey sis, I see you, I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of you. And yes, I wouldn't say, I'm a giving, I love giving you.

I don't think it's hers. So I'm a giving you. But if I'm a man, I like you. Yeah. And you. And you. And you're coming in. It's all over.

I have. But yeah, but for my girls, it's really dead. Like, but I do, I love, it's something about giving you guys stuff. And then like seeing you light up. Like, I mean, I'm, it's something about giving you guys stuff and then seeing you light up. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean somewhere. And I feel like, which one do you like? And she's like, oh, I feel so okay. And then like a week later, I'm proud of the one with it.

And she's like, I know what this is! I mean, I'm like, girl. But no, I do, I love just seeing people light up. I might say, like, holiday, birthday, birthdays, Christmas, that's just my thing. But yeah, I would just say those, I'd be a big on quality time and words of affirmation for my girls. And I get that from all of y'all.

Yes, I am. Quality time. No question. I don't keep me doing it by me, I think. You can just spend time with me, dinners, going for a walk, working out. But then... We've got to give it a go. I used to work out. It's't, do you want to divide me a thing? Yeah. You can just spend time with me, dinners, going for a walk, working out. Yes.

But then, we've got to give it a go. I know. I need some time too. I need to get some breaks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think acts of service in the meaning serving other people.

So people come, we all came to volunteer with me last year. That's more of my heart. Yes. That's my passion. So me and me last year, that wore my heart. Yes. That's my passion. So me and me were at AM and helping somebody else at me in the world. One thing about you, you don't show up. Baby.

You don't show up. You don't get you some flowers. You don't get me your business. Anything. You get your people flowers where they can smell them. I like to smell my flowers. Mm. But you do.

It's always so beautiful. Like, I don't ever have to worry about, is he mad at everything he flowers? Because I already got you on the flower. I'm sorry, but she's gonna bake you a cake for sweetened rolls. Baby, she made that, baby, she made that cake. Okay.

Now, we all have a sliddle. Cause we're so petite. But I appreciate it. You have a sliddle, I have a few sliddle. Ah! I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't. I can't.

It's so good. I can't stop. And I'm a cake girl. Your cakes aren't good. Me. Yeah. Shout out to Sweet My Rose Degree. Yeah.

Yeah. I love it. I feel like we had some really good girl talk. Yes. Now I'm ready to get spicy. Spicy. So do it anymore. Are you all good? Nina, do you have you had enough to?

I think I've had enough to get spicy. Oh, okay. She's going to get spicy. She woke up spicy. I woke up like this. Hey, how are you? I'm good. Yes.

So we have de-norore Chanel on the other line, tapped in with us. Hey, beautiful ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies.

Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies.

Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey have fun. Okay, because listen. Where girls at the end of the day, right? We're ready. All right. Okay, so our good sister's Kareisha went viral for saying she loves the golden shower. Is that a yes or is that a no? Yeah, no!

No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I mean, I... What's that? What's that? Let's not go that far. That's what I'm saying. I'm holding it. I'm holding it. What would you like to ask someone? Have you ever um, unknowingly

slept with the same man? No. No. You know what? I feel like my man who I've ever been with have never had anybody before me. They never know. That's what you gotta try, you're not a man. Yeah, I'm dead.

No, I believe you to see that. I have no one in the floor. Never. Never. It's what's that? No. My wife, even now. I'm like, she killed her.

I know, that's what you're my husband. I'm there with her on that. Absolutely. It's so. It's so. What's that? No! My wife! Even now! Oh my, she killed my wife! I know! I'm there with her on that! Absolutely! Yes! I mean, yes! I agree. You have to think that way.

Yes! Nina, we love a delusional quality. You know, I can't hear you and that's on purpose. Uh-oh, whatever you say. Whatever you say, they true. Oh my gosh! Um, swallowing. Yes? a true. Oh my gosh. Um, swallowing.

Yes or no? My grandma said, if you don't swallow somebody else will. I'm not swallowing. If you don't swallow for money, I'm swallowing. But when it comes to swallowing, it was like fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you.

I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you.

I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you.

I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a fan of you. I'm not a I am. He knows all things. I know! Well, I was dating this guy and I tell y'all that this was literally like, you know, I love to be pretty older, so I was like 25. So I was celibate for like two years after that or whatever. So once I started having sex, I met this guy and I'm talking about the best dick I ever had in my life. Like it was just so good. Like it was like dick, like I don't know if you've had it already.

Yeah, good. It was a crystal, are you right? But I would love for the past and the right. Just doing nice raffles. Well, at one time he was like, you know, I was doing my little thing and I came in my mouth. You know my little thawing and I do, I ain't got a tail end, but you know, I was doing my little thing and I came to my mouth, you know my little thing and I do, I ain't got to tell you about it,

but you know the thing thing. The thing that you do, like, you do what you guys and all the time. You know what I'm saying? I'm saying the thing thing. And so, you know, I did it well, okay? So it was in my mouth, he said, spit it in my mouth, I spit it in his mouth.

What? And then he spit it back in my mouth. And then he said, to wallow it. Now mind you, he's watching me, I'm like, mm-hmm. I'm not mad. I just got knocked. What?

Don't knock it till you try it. What? Oh, no, I'm not gonna. Ah! Ah! That's so much! Ah! Ah! It's the sp in his back and back.

Let me tell you how something might. Let me tell you how some song people made up of songs that what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, man, what a man, what a man, what a, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a, man, what a, what a man, what I said oh taste and see I'm not taste and I'm not okay I mean I want to taste girl You dare more to taste You taste what she said Oh my god I'm showing up Taste it Taste it

Waste it Do not forget it It's a very good taste Oh my god Oh my god Oh Nina Tasted it wasted Jesus okay, so we can all of this that we've swallowed yes, okay great, but Nina has done a little more At least yes triple sides You guys ever been with the guy and they actually to pack him? What's the big? Packing basically means anal sex, like putting a dildo in the man's butt. Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Everything would have stopped. I would run. So, okay. Oh, oh, no! Ah! I did it! I did it! I did it! Ah! Oh, no! Oh, no! I did it!

I didn't listen, listen, listen. I didn't listen, listen, listen. I've got, you literally, you giving him, right? And I've never seen a man do this, but he's on his back and pulls his leg. Yeah. Oh, you did it. It looks like spread eagle.

I'm like, ah! He wanted his ass bang. He wanted me to do it. Why, why you open it up? He want you to eat the booty like, like, I was like, I was doing that. I know. I know, I know.

Tell us about the best and most amazing sexual encounter that you've had, that if you could relive it again, you would. Oh, it's something about that and it might be toxic. Let me prep a spit, but it's something about like, as an argument, that good like anger, sex, make up sex be the best. My goodness. Debes. And it's like, you got a point to prove and I got a point to prove.

It's like, you ain't going nowhere. Yeah. When he talked to it. I told you not to got out of it. And as you did it, it was out. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I have to say some good. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay. So, Rihanna. Risky sex. Risky. Mmm. Where's the risiest place you've done it? On the top of the mountain. Should I put it in there? What? That hurt? Huh? That hurt? We had one of them thick like quilted blanket. I'll see y'all doing jobs going to do.

That's not what they were doing. You wouldn't look looking for those. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle.

It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle.

It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle. It wasn't the ram in the bush in the middle So, um, storage, I'm not a born girl, I said, you did not do it all stolen. I'm not a born girl. I mean, because, we're the same. That's the ratio.

Shit. No. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. All right, I need to give you something good, you know. Oh, my gosh. I love past sex. I've ever had.

Wasn't that the guy? Well, that was really good, but I will say my ex was really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, you know when they put it in there. I mean, I was like, it was like five. Yeah, I put the foot in the mouth and you know, I will say though, it was really good and also very safe. It's also very safe, sex.

That's important. What was it? Safe life, you know. Safe. What is that? What is that? I'm so free to say it. I'm confused.

Like, you can be. You can be serious. I feel like I can be at my friend. Oh, that's good. That's good. I'm going to be my friend. Because you know some guys they judge you by what you know how to do, how you know how to do it,

or whatever. And I feel like I was so free because I felt like with him like I knew that he was just for me. So we like did all the things. That's beautiful. You know, before him I didn't really like to, you know, suck dick for real, but then I was like, who is nice. But it's just for him. It's the amateurs.

It's beautiful. Teach me. Teach you. Teach me. Like my man, it's teach me something. Okay. How you like it? Okay. Yeah. That's beautiful. Teach me. Teach me. Like my man, a teacher means something. Okay. How you like it? Okay.

Yeah. That's good. I love it. That was good. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah a young lady named Ebony. And it says, hi, Crystal, my name is Ebony, and I love your new podcast. Thanks, Ebony. I was afraid for a long time to have female friends, because every friendship I have with women

would end up hurting me in some kind of way. Honestly, I got tired of being the only one to reach out every time. Ooh. Been there. It says, if I didn't send a text or call, I wouldn't hear from them at all.

But my heart wouldn't dare let me leave them hanging if they needed something or words of advice or encouragement. I love giving advice to people and making them feel better, but I wish I could have some people who would do the same for me. I always take it to heart because it feels like I'm the only one being a genuine friend to them. I don't tell certain things to any and everyone.

I grew up with a narrative to keep certain things to myself, and now they age as 22, it hasn't changed. I don't like to hurt people's feelings, so I would usually let some things slide. But when I let my guard down and actually let them in, it backfires. I'm a strong friend, I have no problem being a strong friend, but this should be a two way street. Since you have any advice on what I can do to stop this cycle.

Ebony, oh my goodness. So it sounds like this is something we touched on about being the one who pours into people but not feeling poured into by the people that you're gifted to. So it's not reciprocated. What I've learned today, I was today years low, when I found this perspective, thanks to DeNora, you have to understand your assignment on people's life and their assignment in yours. So everything that you give, is it always going to be reciprocated from that person that you give to? And that's okay. All right. Also, I

would say express your friends how you feel. You know, being honest, we talk about communication today, how important it is to talk to your sisters about how you feel and say, hey, when you do this, I've noticed that I'm the only one reaching out. Like what's going on? Like, sometimes people have a lot going on, it may not even be personal. That's something I'll also learn, that it's not always personal. It could be that they're dealing with a lot of things right now, and they may not be open with you about it. So it could be an issue that could be easily solved if you just take the time to communicate with them about what's going on.

Do you guys have any advice for Ebony? I would think also like, you're 22. I know that doesn't sound young, but it's very young. And your friends are still, they're going their way out. That's a tough age. They're probably just graduating from school. So my encouragement would be one to surround yourself and maybe with older people to get into

like some fellowships with people that you admire so that maybe you can cultivate different friendships. I would give the same grace to your friends that you would like to receive. That's really important. And also I would look at it in a different light. Because a lot of times we look at it like, what is this person not doing?

I could think of a million things that my friends have not done. But when I started looking at what they do to do, you know, I have a friend like Destiny, who does our hair? She's not gonna tell you what's going on, how it's going on, what's going on, and her life. But if you talk to her,

then she will open up to you in whatever. So sometimes it's about humbling yourself to get to know your friends and seeing how I'm showing up instead of expecting it to be all about me. Perhaps in this moment, you're supposed to be sowing to this person because you're going to get it back if it's not from them in this moment, then it'll be for some ideas.

I would say continue to focus on yourself. 22, you're still developing what you want. You're still figuring out life. Continue focusing on you, Ebony. What Ebony wants, what Ebony needs, and God will position everything to flow into your life as it's supposed to. So look at this as a season.

Figure out what you're supposed to learn from this season and just keep on going. Yeah. That's real. Yeah. Yeah. That's real. I like that. I feel like you're still evolving into the woman. Figure out who you are as a woman.

What are your next steps? Your go-through life singleness is okay. Like you can ex-all your friends out for a minute and just figure yourself out. And journey, and journal while you're on your journey To help you get to where you want in life and be the woman you want to be and then once you show up as the woman You want to be not saying that you're not But you're still a 22 and evolving into the woman that you'll be in life as you get older and Then you'll see people that are supposed to be around you

will gravitate to the woman that you are supposed to be in life. Absolutely. Yeah. So good. Yeah. I hope you hear us. I hope that you know that we feel you. We've all been there.

We've all been there before. And I hope you take these words of advice and hope that it helps you. And thank you so much for tuning in. All right, ladies. So I do a thing called what I'm going through and what I'm growing through. So this could be anything that you're going through in life and how you're growing through it. So I'll start and I'll say that right now,

I am going through a purging season where I feel like God is removing people from my life. He's showing me who's here for the right reasons. Even not even with people, just people, he's also doing an emotional purge in my life, where I'm learning more about Christel and understanding things that I need to let go of. Because a lot of times, we look around me like, okay, I need to get rid of this person, this, this, this, this. But there are some things with itself that we need to let go of because a lot of times we look around me like, okay, I need to do this first and this, this, this, this, but there's some things with itself that we need to get rid of. So I'm going through a, um, a purging season in those different areas and what I'm growing through, I'm growing through learning that there is a season for everything, you know, and you have to go through it, you know, it doesn't matter.

Nobody's exempt from it. So I am learning to sit in this moment. It's lonely sometimes. Sometimes I don't like what I see in the mirror. So just having these moments to really reflect is what I'm going through and what I'm growing through. Yeah, that's good. I want to go next.

I will say right now what I'm going through is setting boundaries for certain people in my family. Just expectations of me and who I am and what I contribute, not even just from a financial, just even emotionally what I can contribute, mentally what I can contribute. So just at a space in life where I'm going through setting a boundaries for certain people on my family and you know, this is where it stops. And what I'm growing through is that when you do that, there's another level of respect that you command from the people in your life or your family because sometimes I feel

like me as an adult, they still see me as the young Ray and not as the adult Ray on them. And so that's the season that I'm in right now. That's good. That's really good. That's good. I feel like what I'm going through is a season where God is like, if you're going to trust me or you're not. Either you're going to believe what I said or you're not.

And with the or you're not, I'm going to make a believer out of you. There's no you're not, I'm going to make a believer out of you. There's no you're not really. And so that is like a figuring out a pivot of, you know, God doesn't always give you the next step, but he says, just trust me on that. growing through is recognizing that I have done what he has asked me to do up until this season and that he has been with to do up until this season. And that he has been with me every step of the way. That I haven't made a mistake in letting people go, that I haven't made a mistake in moving across the country,

that there were no mistakes that were made. But in real plain view, that everything that I've speak, that guy has done, even if it doesn't look like what I thought it was going to be. Wow, that's good. Yeah, that it doesn't look like what I thought it was going to be. Wow. That's good. That's what I'm talking about. Okay, I'm going through a fight in the justice system in hopes that I can save another woman's

life and they don't have to experience what I have experienced as it relates to domestic violence. I'm growing through receiving all of my prayers and my personal life from God. So though it seems, you got it, it's easy. No, it takes work. And it takes you still praying and thanking God for what you had and figuring out a way to keep it.

But also not losing myself and not losing my other relationships. Cause I pray long and hard, I've been through enough and I'm just like, oh, the light thing in the tunnel is here. Oh my god, it's here, but now it's okay, it's here. So don't forget where it came from and continue to be obedient. They continue to be disciplined so everything will be okay. You will.

I love that. I love that. I love that. So, one of my favorite parts of the show is where we use the phrase, keep it blank, sweetie. And we fill it in with whatever we want to pretend into what we talked about today. So I'll start it off by saying, keep it, keep it a safe space, sweetie. When it comes to my girls, I think that's so important. Making sure that your friends feel safe when they come around you, that you don't have to second-guess anything

that you know when I'm with these people, we good. So I would say keep it a, keep it a safe space sweetie. That's cute. That's good. Keep it real sweetie. Be real. Be real with your friends. Keep it real.

Yes. Keep it real. Keep it authentic sweetie. That's good, amen. I love that. Keep it authentic honey, be yourself. That's right. I love that it authentic, honey, be yourself. That's right. I love it.

I got to be yourself. But keep it kind, sweetheart. Keep it kind. And all times. Killin' what kind, I don't care what they mean. Be kind. I got to always be kind. Yeah.

Always, Nina. Like you mean it, be kind. La-da. La-da. That's it, what I said. What I said. Kylie. But you'll never regret it being kind even in the worst of situations. I have to live with that. A lot of y'all have to live with that for me. I agree.

Oh, lady. Oh, my goodness. Thank you guys so much for coming to sit on the couch with me. Thank you for having us. Is that for creating this space? Yeah, thank you so much, my love you guys too. I had so much fun with you guys. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode just as much as I did.

As much as we did. Yes. I probably should put a disclaimer ahead and pour you some wine or something. Before you watch it so you can really be in the spirit with us. But no, we had a really good time. I hope that you guys leave this podcast with just a better understanding of who you are, a better understanding of sisterhood, friendships, and bonds that can last a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Okay. If you guys want to write into our keep it positive, sweetie, listen to a letter, a season, or a lifetime. If you guys want to write into our Keep It Positive Sweetie, listen to a letter, make sure you write into QBPositiveSweetie at gmail.com. I would love to hear from you guys. Oh my goodness, the stories that you're sharing with me, they're coming in. I just appreciate you guys for tapping in with us.

You can also follow me on all platforms at Love Crystal Renée, that's LUVCRYSTAL-R-E-N-E-E. And on all platforms for QGP, and that is within I-E, all right? As I said before, our hair was done, but our dear friend, Destiny, you can find her on Instagram. It's time to buy Destiny and tap in with her

because clearly she knows it. She knows it. She knows what you's going on. And ladies, I want to tell them where you guys can be found on Instagram. I can be found on all platforms at Nima Seymall, right. Yes. I can be found only on Instagram. Yeah.

At Wayanda. Yes. And spell that for them because everybody might know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or A-I-Y-O-N-D-A. I can be found on Instagram at at loverilovea.org A-R-I underscored to 1-1-2 and sweet monrose bakery

if you need some cakes, cake pops, a cupcake. That's right. Okay, thank you guys so much. Tap in with all of us. We would love to hear from you and show you guys love back. Listen, you guys know what to do in the meantime. Can y'all say it with me? Yeah, keep it positive, sweetie!

Mark, love you guys so much. Have a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you