Keep it Positive, Sweetie - Soft Life

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Season 1 Episode 6 | OK now, KIPS gang. If you didn’t already know it, I am in my soft life era, like FR FR. I have chosen to live more in my feminine and do the things that feel good, alleviate stress, bring me joy, glorify God and create an environment for me to thrive. It can be as simple as running a bath for myself, listening to worship music, sipping a glass of champagne in lounge wear, or time with my closest girls. I hope you join me in the soft life; keep it soft, sweetie!

I'm ready. Hi, guys. Welcome to this episode of Keyleth positive, sweetie. And today, guess what we're talking about? This offline. Yes, I am. I'm trying to hone in on my soft life. And recently, this term was coined.

And I feel it derived from black women who are tired. We're tired. We are tired of doing everything by ourselves, especially black women. We do everything. We hold everybody up. We single black women. We are, we do everything. We hold everybody up. We single black women, I have to do everything by myself. I have to do the thing that has to be the man and the woman.

And it's exhausting. I don't know if you guys feel the way I feel, but I'm ready for the soft life. And I feel like the soft life starts with us. We have to start hiring people to do some of these things to help us really tap into that soft light, because you will run yourself ragged, trying to do your job and a job that a man should be doing.

OK, so let's get into it. I found this quote by Zoiz Aldana, and it really resonated with me. She said, I like what I do. I like how I do it. I like my mistakes. I like the pace at which I learn from my mistakes. I don't want to be anybody else but me.

And by knowing this, I want to continue figuring out who the fuck I am, Zoe, Zellana. Okay, first of all, this me too. I'm trying to figure that out. But while I do that, I wanna keep it cute and keep it soft. Listen, I feel like we can take it back, back to slavery, where the black woman had to keep the family lifted, had to hold everything down.

The man would leave, the man would get killed. It was something different things. I think generationally, it has just been ingrained in us. This is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to hold it down while he's out working. You need to make sure the kids are good. You need to make sure the house is right. You need to also have a job.

You need to birth the children. You need to make sure that their raise up, right? It's just so many things that fall into the place of being a woman and it becomes too much, like way too much. And I think we are finally to the point where we're like, y'all, we're tired. We are tired and we want help. That's what we are.

And that's where the term, soft life came from. For the past probably seven to eight years, really, yeah, 7 to 8 years, I have been doing everything by myself. Even when I dated for a few years in between 2015 and 2017, I was still handling a lot of things on my own. And it wasn't until recently because as women and to a fault, we have felt like men weren't stepping up so that we had to do it all ourselves. And then it became, it's, oh, I'm independent. I don't need a man.

So we go through that whole thing, which is a lie. We do, we do need our men. And because that was ingrained in us, then it would like pushed us to just go harder, and we became more and more and more successful, more independent, and probably so consciously, we were pushing men away from us. And so we kind of did it to ourselves, ladies, if you think about it.

But also the men, y'all wasn't stepping up the way you needed to either. So it's, we both can take responsibility in how we got here. But it's, we both can take responsibility in how we got here. But for me, I know it got to a point where I was just like, man, I am tired. Like, this is a lot.

It, my garbage disposal broke down one time. I was like, Lord, like, this is something like my man should be handling. Why am I calling around trying to figure out who can come fix this? Waking up this morning at 7 o'clock, it's freezing cold. I gotta take the trash out. Like I'm doing everything myself.

And to me, it's just like, I feel like a woman, women need to like tap back into their femininity. We have become so masculine. I know for me, I have. It's like, I have to catch myself sometimes because I have taken all the ego of a man and feeling like, yeah, I got this pride.

And I pumped my chest like I did this myself. Like everything you see is me. I want to be like everything you see is us. We did this. Cheers. I'm cheers into my imaginary. Cheers baby. We did that.

I know. And we're gonna take this thing to the moment. Like Beyonce and Jay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Love it. That's my imaginary man. We sip champagne and all those things.

Soft life. But seriously, like, I... I know. Yeah, I mean, talking to you. It's, yeah, I know. She laughing at us, but you will be here one day. I know, man, I know. Manifestation.

I am manifesting my man who's going to come and help make this thing a little softer, OK? But no, I feel like it's a double-ish sort. I feel like men and women have played a part in women having to feel like they have to do it on their own. And women have pushed me in a way because men is like, well shit, what am I gonna do? You got it all figured out. What am I coming in to do? You got the house, you got the cars, you got the career, you clearly, you got the garbage disposal fixed. What's you need me for?

There are things that men can do that women can't do and that women shouldn't be doing. And it's not gender roles or anything like that. It's just coming in and just being a team and playing your part. And for me, I just got tired and I was like, I cannot keep doing this. Like, I got to figure it out. So I started creating my own soft life. I made sure that like I get my massage as weekly. I make sure I take time out own soft life. I made sure that I get my massage as weekly. I make sure I take time out to work out. I take time out to meditate. Do yoga.

Things that calm me down. Because sometimes I get so caught up in my career and making sure I'm keeping up with life and keeping up the image. Let's be real. Because it's the image I have to keep now. That's a lot. And it takes a lot of hard work to do that. But if I got to work and I got to keep everything up,

it becomes too much. So trying to find that balance within myself and creating a soft life that I want another man to come in and add to. So yeah, that's how I got here. That's why I'm a Sip and Shinn family's couch talking to y'all. Ooh, I really saw my masculinity kick in when I moved to Atlanta and started pursuing music. Because it's such a male dominated industry,

I felt like I had this hard shell so men knew not to try me. And it was like a protective shell. And I remember like, I would go to studio sessions and men were like, I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I would love to take you on a date. I'm like, bro, if you have to lead like, I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I would love to take you on a date. And I'm like, if you have to lead what I know I'm not supposed to do,

this why are you doing it? You know? And I was alone in a lot of those rooms. So I had to make sure people knew, don't play with me. And that's where that hard thing came from, come from the south. Like I'm a southern girl through and through, southernville,

let the man lead. I was taught all the Southern ways. You speak to people in the morning, I moved to DC and I'm like, good morning to complete strange. I was just, the Southern ways in me. And they're like, who are you talking to? And even then I started realizing, okay, you gotta kind of tone it down.

You can't be so friendly and gullible. And it was when I moved to Atlanta that I realized, OK, I gotta let these people know they can come to me. And I have to carry that. And it just carried on through my career, even through acting, working, costumes, designing, all those things. I had to make it known like this woman care.

You know there are certain women you walk into a room when you just know, oh, I can't play with her. She don't play. Like my dad said, they cut out recesses when I was in school because I don't play. They don't do that. So I had to let people know, like, you can't play with me. And I think that carried on into relationships

where it was just like, I can do it all. Like, Kason Point, season two of the team just came out and for team was trying to change her tire. She got a whole man, but Fatima's so used to doing everything on her own. She didn't even think, cause that. He would love to come and help, but women have been so conditioned to,

you gotta do it yourself. You need to know how to do everything, because what if a man is not here to save you? Figure it out, and then some women don't want a bother, man. But sometimes I feel like letting a man know that you need him, makes him come even harder, because he feels wanted. He feels needed. It's like, okay, my baby need me. And the same thing for women, we want to know that I'm in need of us.

And I feel like if we can find the right person to create with, we can both tap into our soft sides. Because me and the soft life too, I don't think it's just a women thing, honestly. I feel like me and can have, if we all come in and help each other together, we both can have a soft life. I've been in a relationship where a guy was like, I got it. I got it Chris, so I got it. You don't have to do it. And I think too, I'm like, we used to be such a control for it. I wanted to make sure everything went right. And because of that, I'm like, I used to be such a control freak. I wanted to make sure everything went right.

And because of that, I wanted to handle it myself because I don't know if you're going to do it the way I need to be done. So I wouldn't allow the man to do certain things because I just wanted to make sure it was done the way I wanted it. And sometimes you just have to learn how to let a man lead, let him do his thing. And he had to kind of put me in my place like, very like, you got to let me be the man and do these things and I'm like, okay, you right.

But there are some men that I do not feel comfortable in letting them lead. So I feel like I still gotta do it because I'm even sure that you're gonna leave me in the right direction. And when I get to that point, it's like, what are we doing anyway? Like if I can't trust you to leave me

and know that you're gonna take us in the right direction, we gonna be all right, then we don't need to be together. But yeah, I definitely have had a man tell me, I need to calm down, because I'm very, I'm even like, when things aren't going right, I'm the one that'll call the company and be like, hey, what's going on with this? No, we need to get this fixed.

This is unacceptable. Like, I'm the fixer. Like, put my white hat on, like, carry Washington in the scandal, put my white hat on and try to fix it. And sometimes you gotta let the man make the call and fix those things. And I just sit back and sit in my champagne.

All right, baby. I know, I'm gonna let you do it. You got it. Soft life to me looks like this. No, okay. Soft life is not all about sitting on the couch, looking cute, sipping rosé. Soft life is femininity.

It's allowing yourself to exude that, to be lady light, to be comfortable in your own skin, to know that you don't have to be all hard all the time. It means self care, taking care of yourself. It means taking time out to do things that you enjoy doing. Soft life means saying no sometimes, saying no to the things that don't bring you peace because sometimes a lot of things that you're saying yes to can also be driving that hardness as well. So I feel like understanding where you are, understanding the energy that you want to have around you all falls into encompassing the soft life. My most recent no has honestly been

when my friends want to go to certain places and it just doesn't agree with my spirit or I'm tired and I really just need to rest. I've had to learn and it's funny though I'll look at them and be like, no, and they're like, you do not care. I'm like, no, I don't, you just, like, you do not care. I'm like, no, I don't, like, I don't want to do that because I've been such a people pleaser.

And that, too, can cause a lot of strain on your life when you're just saying, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. What do you need? All right, gotcha. What do you need? Gotcha. What do you need? Gotcha. It becomes too much. And you have to take the time and have to be like, you know what?

I'm cool. So staying up to friends sometimes. Even this one guy that I was talking to, we've, he's tried, it never has gone anywhere. But recently he had come back and he was like, hey, let's go to dinner at this particular restaurant that's really hard to get into. I know the gym. But if you want to take me, figure it out.

You know, like, I want somebody to come in and I'm already doing a million things to create this life that I have. And you want to take my time away from doing what I got to do, at least figure out how to make a reservation. Figure it out. So he was like, yeah, but you probably going to get a call and make the reservation, because I don't know anybody, and it's going to be hard to get in there. And I was like, OK. And then two days later, I'd heat him here for me. So he was like, I guess you got co-feet

or change your mind. I said, you know, I was like, I just thought about it. I said, we've tried to do this. And every time we hang out, I don't call you anymore. We don't talk for months or a year. And then you see me and every time we hang out, I don't call you anymore or we don't talk for months or a year and then you see me and you wanna hang out and I'm like, okay, I haven't gotten going on so maybe it's just something to do

because there's nothing to do. I'm not wasting my time anymore. I was like, I'm gonna say no. And I was like, God has shown me that this hasn't gone anywhere since I've met you and it's not gonna continue to go anywhere so I'm not gonna keep wasting my time. A week later, where was this man?

At Nobu, the restaurant. So, you figured it out. So you could have figured it out when you wanted to take me. Now, the right man come along and he's put in the right energy. You coming to see me? Okay, cool, like, what we doing? Oh, well, I know somebody, because you're making me feel like you just not taking,

taking, taking, taking. When you're pouring into me, I'm pouring into you, and you love this restaurant, and you wanna take me there. Oh, babe, I know the GM, so I'll call them, I'll set it up. We good. I don't feel like that,

but when you've continually wasted my time for years, and then you wanna come in, and oh, I wanna take you out, but you gotta call them, make the reservation, and you gotta get my face, get out my face. And that's how I felt about it. So that was another, that was this year, top of the year. And I was, it felt so good to just be like, yeah, no.

No, and I felt so soft after that. I really did. I got back in my king size bed, put my duvet over me and watch you. And I was good. But it's like, I don't know, it was definitely back in my king size bed, pulled my duvet over me and watched you, and I was good. But it's like, I don't know. It was definitely one that my mom was like, this feels good to say no.

And I think a lot of times as women, we don't advocate for ourselves. We advocate for everybody else in our lives, except for ourselves. We have to stop doing that. We put everyone before us. And a lot of times we know our worth, but we're not really acting like we know it.

And we'll deal with things, deal with relationships, deal with friends, that we, family members, people that we really need to just remove ourselves from because we haven't really tapped into who we really are and understand like what we're worth. And I feel like understanding, hey, this is not what I deserve. I'm gonna put me first, is a part of the soft life.

So let's take it back to the guy who asked me to go eat. Here's another part to it. Why did I feel the need, when he asked me to go eat, go out to eat and let's go to dinner, why did I feel the need to say yes instead of just say it no then. It took me like two days to think about it. And then I was like, this isn't what I wanna do. And I'm not gonna say it no then. It took me like two days to think about it.

And then I was like, this isn't what I wanna do. And I'm not gonna act like I wanna do it. And I feel like in that moment, like, I didn't wanna, I probably didn't wanna have the conversation. But there's another breath, I didn't have nothing going on. I wasn't actively talking to anybody. It was a dry season. So I was like, I ain't got nothing else to do. I like no blue.

They can go eat. It's fine. But when I thought about it, I was like, I can go to no blue anytime. I don't need you to say, and you can't get me in there. So what are we doing? Like, we only go on because I got the connection. And you've shown me.

And that's another thing. When people show you who they are, the first time believe them, because I would allow this person to pop in and out and it never went anywhere. But he always came around when I had nothing going on. So they always say that, and I don't mind as a devil's playground.

And I was like, I'm hanging on and going on. Yeah, we can go, whatever. And it was also too just to get the conversation over with. But once I thought about it, I was like, I'm hanging on and going on. Yeah, we can go, whatever. And it was also too just to get the conversation over with. But once I thought about it, I was like, no, we're not doing this. And that was me advocating for myself and my time and understanding, Crystal, you are worth more. God has more for you.

If you keep wasting your time on people who don't see you and don't value and don't add the same value or equal value to your life, you never gonna get what God has for you. So I had to, that's another thing I had to stop wasting my time on men who have already shown me their night eclipse to handle me or to take me to where I need to go. Some of the things I practice daily, just to like give myself a soft life, to feel like a woman, waking up in the morning, talking with God,

not instantly jumping on my phone. It's taking a bath, soaking, reading a book, working out, taking care of myself. I may treat myself to dinner. I may cook. Because I feel like those are things I enjoy doing as a woman. Like they make me feel, like when I'm in the kitchen, it's just something that feels so feminine about it.

I feel like I'm like tapping into a different energy than if I'm just like, ord on uber eats, which I do all the time. But it's something that I can do that I like to cook. I like to do yoga. Those are things that calm me. Any type of activities that calm me down is a way that I tap into my soft life. Putting on my sick pajamas, pouring a glass of wine or champagne for no reason, no celebration, we just do it, because that's what we do.

And also that, like understanding that I don't have to have a reason to do something extravagant. I don't have to, it is, oh, well it's a birthday, now we can pop some champagne, no, it's a Tuesday and it's 12 o'clock in the day. I do it because I want him because I can. That's a period, period. Y'all heard me.

Do it because you can. Pour your glass of champagne on Tuesday as the news is and toast to yourself and to your future man. You know, don't forget about your man over here. Y'all better keep manifesting. Y'all, don't forget he over here. Okay, he's, he's tall isn't that, he'd like right here.

Yeah, cause I'm been a fastened a time man. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Yeah, I am stupid. You know what, even when I'm filming, when I'm working 15, 16 hour days,

sometimes longer than that, I can't get to the gym because I'm too tired. Those are times where like, and if you know me, you know, I am a workaholic. I take my job and craft very serious. As soon as I wrap, I'm studying. If I'm on a break, I'm studying. I always wanna make sure that I'm on it at all times.

And when I'm doing those things, I make sure my soft life comes into making sure I'm eating good, making sure when it's time to rest, just rest. Don't worry about the workout. Your body, me understanding, okay, in this moment, I know you feel like you need to work out, I know you on camera, but your body needs to rest. And understanding and tapping into that and listening

to your body is a part of the soft life because when you're going, going, going, going, you're not really listening, that's when you get sick. That's when you pass out on set, we've seen it happen before. So taking the time to really just arrest when I'm filming, making sure I'm still eating healthy, paying attention when I'm putting my body. And when I'm done, that's when I like take a vacation

because the way we shoot is insane. So when I'm done, that's when I like take a vacation because the way we shoot is insane. So when I'm done, my brain is fried. I don't wanna talk to nobody. I just wanna get to a beach and lay out all day, drink my good drinks and have some fun. But I think it's all in the balance. You know, you know that sometimes when you got a grind, I'm not saying that every day you gonna wake up sipping champagne, you gotta work. You know, you know that there's sometimes when you got a grind. I'm not saying that every day you're going to wake up

sipping champagne. You got to work. You know, and you're going to have to grind. You have to have a work ethic. But you have to find that balance. And when I'm working, I may not be able to get massage. But I try to get them on the weekends if I can. But when I'm doing the week when I'm filming, I can't do it.

But yeah, just try to find the balance for sure. I define femininity as a woman that makes, when you come around her, you feel lighter. It's not a lot of heaviness that comes with you. You make people feel safe. I feel like feminine energy makes people feel safe. It serves people. It helps people. It's an energy. It's like a...

It's just like that air about you. Like the way she sits. Because I'm a time boy. But when I was having to that feminine energy, I made it like this. You know, like if it's something... He over here. I made sit like this and put that thing on them, you know. That's it, that's it, feminine, you know. You know, I might cross my legs or the way I hold my glass,

you know, in other days I might be like this, like it was up, but it just depends, like there's something in different ways that it zoos. You know, it's not always something that you can pinpoint, but it's a feeling. And when I feel safe as a woman, especially around a good man, I'm able to tap into that lady-like energy, that feminine energy where it's not so masculine and hard.

Because I have that too, where, yeah, I'm working on it, but I be cussing, I'm working on it, but like, you, some people talking like, they, girl, have you been on a pirate ship? Cause I be cursing like a little sailor sometimes. But I'm working on it. We gonna start a cursing jar. That's what we're gonna do,

we're gonna have to get a jar. Didn't know we got to get a jar on here. A man that I can talk to about anything, a man that I feel free around, I don't feel judged, a man that I can wipe it all off. I can wipe it all off. He's like, my goodness, you are just the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.

A man that I trust to leave me. When I know that you can leave me and guide me and I can not be in control all the time and I can like, baby, you got that. I ain't got to worry about that. You got it. That is like the safest feeling. A man that is after God's own heart,

a man that I know, like we're in alignment with our spiritual walk. Those are things that make me feel safe that I know like we're in alignment with our spiritual walk, those are things that make me feel safe, because I know that if we're serving the same God, if we have our vision and eyes on the same goal, those are things that make me feel like, okay, I can be myself, I can be a lady, I don't have to be all hard, I don't have to be in control,

I can just be. And I haven't felt it in a long time. So I'm waiting on the one that really makes me feel like that. If I had a daughter, I would, at a very young age, like I would take her to the many petty salon. We would go to the nail salon together to the hair salon. These are other things that women do

to just feel like a woman. Same way, men go to the barbershop every week, women to the hair salon. These are other things that women do to just feel like a woman. Same way, men go to the barbershop every week, women do the same thing. I would make sure, because I didn't get like manicures and pedicures until I got to college. Like, that wasn't something my mom did with me or for me. So I would make sure that like, I took her to do those things. I would show her how a man should treat her.

And I would hope that I have a man or a husband that we're that example for her. Because for me, I saw my dad, how he's still from, like, one day married to now, like, how he still courts her, takes her to dinner. They still have date nights. I would try to be an example for her to say, like, oh, my mom did this.

Like, oh, my mom takes bubble baths. So I'm going to take a bubble bath. You know, like, those her to say, like, oh, my mom did this. Like, oh, my mom takes bubble baths. I'm going to take a bubble bath. You know, like, those are things that, like, little girls can, like, learn at a very young age to know, like, this is what you do as a lady. Like, let's go dress shopping. Let's make sure that this is how you sit at a kid classes. There's different things that I would instill in her

at a very young age so that as she got older, she would know how to carry herself as a woman. I started doing pageants. A lot of people don't know this, but I was a beauty pageant girl. I started in junior high school. I was a Tom Boy. It's like, that was the furthest thing on my mom was just like, I think you should do pageants and all my friends. Like, you should be in the gym, it's Martin pageant. I was like, all right. So like, I was the girl. I want my shoe came off. The first time I walked out gym, it's Martin Paggin. I was like, all right. So like I was the girl, like my shoe came off. The first time I walked out there, it was so embarrassing.

And it was something about that first day getting my makeup done and putting the dress on. I was like, ooh, I felt like a princess. And I remember waiting backstage, they were calling out the contestants and who, the winners. And I was like, everybody else was like huddled up and I was just kind of walking around wondering in my own, where I've always been like a,

in my own little world kind of girl, Celia. And they announced me as the winner and like they were at Crystal. It's you and I was like, what? And they were like, you won it. And I was like, I did? So I go out there and then I kind of got hooked on and I started doing more and more pageants.

And once I got to like Miss Tennessee and that level of pageantry, it becomes like, it's a different type of competition. It's, you, I had to take etiquette classes to even like learn certain things the way I spoke. We had interviews like you see how I just changed the way I spoke. There's a certain way you talk when you're in beauty pageants. There's a certain way I spoke. We had interviews, like you see how I just chained the way I spoke. There's a certain way you talk when you're in beauty

pageants. There's a certain way you walk. You have to walk with your shoulders back, your chin parallel to the ground. When your arm swings, the tips of your fingers touch your legs. So you're not walking like this. It's like it's so many different things that I learned while I was in pageants that definitely helps me be more

lady-like and tap into my feminine energy. But I always try to say treat myself as well. I remember I was backstage when I'm getting ready all the girls are like, yeah, like prison press, I have my headphones on, I'm listening to Eminem lose yourself because I knew I was about to win it.

And I did. But I was still to say treat myself. And if I like the balance of masculine and feminine energy without being too hard. So I feel like there's a way to have that soft life and still be a little bit of both. Because there's a coolness about the masculine energy. Like when a woman is like, she's not all

pretty all the time. Me and like that, like, you know, my girl, we can just chill and swim and she ain't got to be all made up. Everything doesn't have to be all fancy all the time. They love when a woman can just adapt to any scenario. And be like, cool, like, it's whatever. When you take me to a ball, a gala, I'm gonna step out and you be like, wow,

yes, I'm the queen of the night. Let's go. We go into the game, I'm gonna's go. We go into the game. I'm going to be fly. We go into the park. You know what I'm saying? I can do, I can fit in. We're riding to fit in.

We're going to go hiking. I'm not going to be like, well, I am going to be like, because I don't like bugs or snakes or spiders. Nothing. But I do like hiking. I just don't like anything that comes along with hiking. But I'm right. I'm down to get, down to sweat, I'm down to have fun.

So I think it is all about finding that balance between masculine and feminine energy. We say that we are all made in God's likeness and in His image. I'm a woman and I'm made like God, you're a man and you're made like God your man and your made like God. That's not making magic, everybody. He did not make magic, everybody. So if I'm here watching your man and your made like God and God is not a female or a man. Why are we so hard on men who are super feminine

and hard on women that are super masculine. And I'm trying to feel that because that's really, really good because God made us in this image and I feel like a lot of times the feminine and masculine energy comes from like our upbringing and what we saw. For me, I saw, I was in a two- was raised in a two-parent household, but I was very influenced by my cousins.

Most of my girls' cousins were like tomboy's. We were raised in the country, so we were always doing like, playing in dirt and out in the fields, in the woods, doing stuff like that. But I feel like we judge people for being too feminine, especially men. And I feel like I want a man that can tap into his feminine side. I'm not saying be like, yeah girl, cheers. I'd be like, okay, you're taking too far. Chill out. But you know what I still want to be able to have him to be vulnerable and sometimes people must say vulnerability for femininity.

I feel like everybody should be vulnerable. I was talking to somebody the other day talking about men shouldn't cry. Like I never let anybody see me cry. Why? Why don't you do that? Like there's nothing wrong with it. And I don't feel like you should tap. That's a human feeling. Don't make that that's a feminine thing. Only females cry. I feel like that's what's wrong with a lot of men. And when men today is that they bottle so much inside because they've been told, man, suck it up. You shouldn't cry.

Don't do that. Like tough enough. You weak. You a bitch. Like all these things. And that's not the case. Like, no, come cry on my shoulder. We're going to be good.

Let's figure it out. But I feel like we have to be open to all sides that it definitely there's a balance in men and women and we have to be open to all sides that come with our men and they come with our with our women. Alright guys, you already know this is my favorite part of the show, Positive Outcomes, where you guys, my community, my family family write in to get my advice on certain things that you're going through. And today, this young woman says,

hi, Crystal, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I feel like I know you. I watch you every week and I love your show. I am a mother of five and I want to say, I love my kids very much, but I am tired, honey. I'm tired. Everyone on Instagram is talking about this soft life, and I'm like, brandy, I want to be down.

I know that's right. I want to be down. I used to let it song. Can you please give me some tips on how I can have a soft life because I really deserve it. Yes, you do, sis. First because I really deserve it. Yes you do sis. First of all thank you thank you so much for watching I appreciate it. But let's get into it. Who, mother of five. I know you tire of sis. So you definitely

have to find time for yourself. You have to find time to literally say hey kids I needed me. My mom used to do this thing where she would come in from work and she was like I need an hour and an hour and that was how that was another way that I knew you got to take that time for yourself so do that and then also everybody's on Instagram talking about the soft life but everybody's living it so don't get caught up in what everybody's doing on Instagram you have to figure out what works for you what makes you feel good, and be open to that. But you do deserve it. Know that you deserve it. Take time to find out what you

like to do. Tap into that, and I promise you you will start to find balance and you'll start to feel softer. All right? Thank you so much for writing in. Oh, on this episode, what am I going through and what am I growing through? Oh, I'm going through learning how to relinquish control, to not always be in control because I think that's a part of a lot of the pressure and anxiety that I put on myself. And I'm growing through understanding that there's a balance in everything. And when I find that balance, I've really tapped into something. So finding the balance of my soft life, but also keeping that grit and that grind that I have.

And yeah, I'm gonna figure it out. So I'm growing through that. So thank you guys so much. I appreciate it. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode with me and my man. We appreciate you guys tuning in. We are nothing without you. Next time you come, I'm gonna have a man.

I'm just gonna put that out there. Or sometime this year, I will. But no seriously, if you guys wanna write in, please write in to keepitposs Sweetie at gmail.com I appreciate you guys so much tap in with me on Instagram Twitter TikTok all the things at love Christopher Nay and I will see you guys next time. Can't wait take care and in the meantime you know what to do keep it positive. And get you a glass of champagne. Cheers. That's good, isn't it?

No. No. They're real quick, though. Keep it, like, what would your keep it blank be for this episode? Oh, keep it honorable, sweetie. That's good. I like that.

Mine would be keep it soft, sweetie. That good? That's good, all right. Honorable and soft, so you guys keep that in mind. We'll see you next time. You guys keep that in mind. Yeah! Lot.

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