Kill James Bond! - S2E10: Without Remorse

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

We finally did it, we reached the apex of the Tom Clancy movies. In a world without wives.... one man has a dream: To avenge his fridged pregnant wife by killing approximately 50 full human beings. But Don't worry- all of them are foreign. It's impossible that any of them could have wives or anything. I don't know how to sum this one up other than by saying that in the scene that could most be called "the one where Michael B Jordan says what the movies themes are" the film unironically goes like 'i didnt carry an M4 in aleppo just to see them carried in the streets of the United States'. Foreign nations are a sandbox in a state of perpetual violence, but the US is sacred.   ------ THE WINTER OF CONTENT The UCU has a fighting fund that you can contribute to here: https://www.ucu.org.uk/fightingfund If you do feel you have money to spare, please consider supporting your local food banks with money or time! donate to the Trussell Trust here: https://www.trusselltrust.org/make-a-donation/ or the Independent food aid network here: https://www.foodaidnetwork.org.uk/donate There are several ongoing strike funds that could do with some donations, and several can be found here: https://www.cwu.org/ Additionally, please consider joining a renter's union like ACORN, as rising mortgage rates will surely result in rising rent, here: https://www.acorntheunion.org.uk/join ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

All right, do you want to hit me with the they took everything from me and I'll yeah, absolutely They took everything from me now. It took my family Hello and welcome to another episode of Kill James Bond. I am Alan Scordorke. He joining me as always are my co-hosts Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hey, we're done with Tom Clancy movies. We're ready to disavow this motherfucker. That's right. We are ready to disavow all knowledge of Tom Clanty's activities. We're finally caught up with Michael B. Jordan in Without Remorse. I've got some remorse having watched this film when they tell you.

I've created this move. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so without remorse is the origin story of John Clark, who we last so being played by leave Shriver and before that by what's the do to do? Willem Defoe. Willem Defoe. Is it going to be?

Willem Defoe. Willem Defoe. A hundred. Yeah. Not to besmirge Michael B. Jordan, but just like not like young Willem Defoe. From the horror. For the whole day. Yeah.

You do like an origin story. dudes in his 60s, perfect. Really good. But yeah, so this was part of a two movie deal. Michael B. Jordan signed to do this and Rainbow Six as a sequel, which we're going to have to come back to when it comes out. I'm not looking forward to Rainbow Six. One of the more right-wing Tom Clanty novels, which is fucking insane, something.

I mean, this does fit into the, I mean, because John Clark has meant to be like the fascist counterpart to John. Yeah, he's like the action man, yeah, exactly. And so we begin in, well, we begin to split. We begin to sell shit. Yeah, so my first note was, oh, this is going to be so fucking bad. And the reason why I wrote that down is because we are first introduced to our protagonist, killing two people before we even see his face. Yeah, and two other things.

Two of our things, one of the things that tactical guys love to do is to like rise from murky water with a gun. And this has one of the great rising from murky water with a gunshots. As we see a Navy SEAL team infiltrating Aleppo Syria. I mean, the subtitle tells us that it's Aleppo Syria. It looks like the surface of Mars. Like, I... Yeah. Just Ale leopard look like this.

Well, this is the interesting thing. They've heard all of the criticisms about how you shoot a movie in the Middle East, you just use the orange filter. What they've done here is they've used it as the blue filter instead, which, it personally makes it harder to see what's happening.

Yeah, this movie, you can't see it. That's one of the major problems I would say about this movie. Every time anything happens, it's nighttime. And you can't see what's fucking happening. But also, is a leper that destroyed? Because it looks like a nuke is hit. Yeah. Is it that fucked up?

I don't, I can't answer that confidently. Yeah. It looks like fucking, the American popular imagination of the Middle East, right? It looks like Starlingrad. The irrespective of the fact that Syria is engaged currently in a civil war, it looks, as you say, like- It looks like you took a Starlingrad and dropped it onto another Starling. Yeah, like if they're into bricks on top of each other, like, Jay has come by with an AK and like shot one of those bricks.

That's right. Just, just show willing, I guess. And so this first sequence I've described I've written in my notebook here is what if zero dark 30 was made without any of the talent? It's a Navy SEAL team. Michael B. Jordan is on it, along with the officer commanding it, Lieutenant Commander Greer. Yeah, who is asked me to find out the niece of James Orl Jones from previous movies. It's

not relevant, but she is. And they get roped into a sort of a secret CIA kill squad type mission. By a guy who was displaying one of two possible CIA fits, right, there's two outfits you can unlock for Mr. CIA man. There's obviously his default outfit, the traditional US and huge, of course. But then there's also a bonus outfit, which is the sort of the in-country Mr. CIA man, most recently seen, and most famously seen in dark night

rises, where it's a guy in like Apollo and like Carkeys, here it's a flannel and Carkeys, but again, very like large outfit. And it's the outfit that screams, I am going to betray you, because I'm in the CIA, and I'm doing some shady CIA shit. Yeah, this character's name is Ritter, and he's played by Jamie Bell. I like this, I like Jamie Bell's form. No, I see.

I read this down. Jamie Bell does such a good job playing a character who's like main attribute is Kant. Like he just fucking, he's so good. Yeah. He's got such a fungible good. He's got such a punchable face. He's got more wonderful, fantastic. I'm up to shit that I'm not going to tell you. He's so dear. He's really good. He's very good at, like, most of

assing people and engaging them on a personal level to hate him. Which is the opposite of what you would typically want to do, I find, but whatever. And so that we get a little bit banter between him and the seals. We get the same thing as with Jack Ryan, where if you're in the military, your other guy's main role is to kind of like hype you up. There's like, there's two, there's two MOSs in the military, protagonist and hype man.

So the protagonist walks in and his hype man are like, oh shit, he's kind of a badass. Because Michael B Jordan is part of this Navy CEO team. This one he's called John Kelly. That's right. During the sequence, by the way, we get a second thing which signaled to me that this movie was gonna be horrendous, which was all of the like all of the the credits that come up on the screen start out in Cyrillic text and then turn into English Which to me I saw that and I was like Russia, okay cool Again literally the one's no Full Jack Ryan movies ago. They were making fun of still using Russia and now oh fuck. I literally have that drop somewhere hold on

I have to choose someone else to face off against my side, and the Russians all the time. Seemingly not. Someone should tell the writers without remorse. Try that. Yeah, no, we can just go back to them. So their mission is to rescue a CIA guy who has been captured by a sad government, Syrian government forces. In order to do this, you need to use the magic suppressors from movies that make this noise. The kind of thing that like, you know, no one can hear it when it's happening 20 feet

away from them. It doesn't. Yeah. It's like, it's like in John Wick when the two of us shooting each other's suppressors. Yeah. Yeah. But see, this is the thing, like as soon as they get into the gun fights, it is John Wick, but worse, like less inspired. We've moved, it drops to zero, Dr. Thirtie thing very quickly. Like as soon as they get into a gun fight,

like Clark or Kelly, as he's then is immediately, like drops his rifle to knife fighter guy. And it's very reminiscent of John. I ended up writing down a lot of things about John Wick because eventually I was like, I think that this movie is going out of its way to reconstruct from first principles the movie that John Wick was deconstructing.

Because it's like, everything that John Wick does sort of as a tongue-in-cheek satire, this thing just does, and we'll get into the various things with that as later on. So they in the CIA, they go to this safe house. They enter it, I have seen faster room clearing and airsoft games. Also, they do another thing that really annoys me, which is it mostly features in like cop movies rather than troop movies, but the thing of entering a room and shouting, clear,

when you're still, you haven't cleared it, you're just looking at it. Roar is really annoys me. So this has been the Alice Autism Act. They kill some man-armed men, killed more one-armed people. They do. And Kelly goes through one of their pockets and is like, wait a second, this man has Russian pockets.

This man has dropped some rare loot. Yeah, no. No, this guy is wearing a big hammer and sick or an statement necklace. You lied to me. I'm not a master. Mr. CIA man, you lied to me. You said these were Syrians, but these are Russians. And Rissa goes, oh yeah, anti-abastard.

Anyway, let's just... Oh no, yeah, she has a fun line where Kelly says, you told Mr. Zezzer Syrians, these guys are Russians. And Rissa goes, I didn't see any Russians. I just was like, I'm in the CIA. Don't do not clip that. Yeah, you are in the CIA. So then they're on their way out and then a guy fires an RPG at them in a corridor. It doesn't have like an arming distance because it does explode. Unbelievable man. I am the guy who fires at them standing directly in front of like a concrete

wall. He's fine. I think that guy like accidentally equips the RPG to his melee. Yeah, you don't want to have the mouse wheel for this. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Ah, fuck on her. This perfectly drops Kelly through a floor where he and Greer have to fight their way out. Weirdly, he's telling her what to do, although she's, she outranked him. This doesn't really stop happening.

Well, so she's injured in a way that doesn't really seem to come back or matter. And Ritter's like, leave her behind and Ritter leaves. But Kelly stays to safer. They also discover that the Russians are using the safehouses and arms, depot and like a dealing happens out of it. I should also say, Michael B. Jordan, he's a fine actor, right? Love to see him do some acting. Because what he's trying to convey, or what the direction he's been given

here is, you're in a tough situation, but you're in Navy SEAL, you're calm under pressure, and the way it comes off is this sort of like operation flashpoint arm-to-salt radio procedures of like, oh no, it's so flat. It's really it's really, it's really like, it kind of like slid perfectly off my brain when I was watching it. I think when the direction is to kind of do calm and the pressure there, the soundtrack can really do a lot because the Jason Bourne films do that a lot.

Exactly, yes. So Bourne is often very calm, but the soundtrack is often quite tense. And so that kind of works because the soundtrack is almost giving us a window into his internal state. Whereas in this, I don't really remember anything about the soundtrack, and that suggests that it wasn't really holding up its end of the bargain. So they have this gunfight and they get out. And like, at this point, I want to say,

It gets a little point from me for knowing that you can like, penetrate through a wall with a 5.56 millimeter round. That's cool. I like that. That was good shot. At this point, I noticed, and I've written down that, the way that the Navy seals are shot and the way that they are portrayed in this film, it's, I think, they're going for badass, like when they kill two dudes in the water and they emerge and we see the American flag on Kelly's arm. But as somebody who's like not American, what this really shows is like these often very darkly lit, often like very big people who are much better equipped than the people that

they're killing. We're explicitly shown that they are killing unarmed people in a foreign land. There's also an interesting choice with the sound design. We're like, we hear other people in the building screaming, we hear children screaming at the sound of gunshots. It's, they're going for badass, but it makes them look like a fascist death squad. It's like, it's really weird. These guys are like, they seem to me like obvious villains

because they are just like slaughtering people often unarmed, and they're meant to be the heroes. It's just very odd. For sure. I think I have sort of fuller form thoughts about this that I'll say for when we do zero dark thirsty, because I think that's a competently made, in fact, a well-made thing that engages with much of the same thing and has many of the same problems. But yeah, no, they are the bad guys. But yeah, no, they are the bad guys. Oh yeah. There were multiple points where I just wrote down the protagonist, like just as like

as well. That's the protagonist doing this, huh? Okay. First thing we see him do is murder two unarmed people. Yeah, okay. He has a speech later, but I'm excited. We didn't know anything about them. Yeah.

Kelly Rescue's Greer, they all get in the helicopter in the helicopter on the way out. Kelly, like tries to fight Mr. CIA man Ritter. Uh, again, because the direction so bad as hearts, like not really in it, he just kind of like growls at him for a bit. And then we

go back to the United States where, um, oh man. Okay. Once again, I just want to be like, just like I said in Cody Banks too, no one's giving me the MacArthur Genius Grant for figuring out the plot of the movie, but the second you fucking, then he gets back and it's just like, my name is Mr. John Kelly, oh boy, I certainly love my pregnant wife. And you get three scenes of him going, I love my pregnant wife so much. And it's intercut with other members of his squad getting hit. And you're like, I get it, man, they're going to kill his fucking wife. Anyway, it's

a big talk. Everything from me. No, it's all my family. And it's like how how overjoyed you think the Jack Ryan creators were to finally have a wife to fridge because they haven't been able to do it in the last two and they've wanted to sober. Oh, yeah, so we see two two two other members of his team both of whom are like anything interesting. They're just like the funny guy who gets killed. Like, literally, he goes out to take out the trash and gets hit by a van like spree, or scary move. Just fucking take it out by that genuinely really funny. And then he gets immediately from that to another guy passing into the anime realm because he's stuck in traffic a van in front of him opened the doors and they shoot him through his

which yeah, yeah, I it's when I saw my the whole rest of the movie could have been this so I'm fine. It dudes like talking to his his kids. He's like I love both of you dearly on I a character in the movie I was like, who's this guy? He walks out to the bins and he gets run over and I wrote but why wrote two things? I wrote garbage day and then I wrote I remember when the bin man used to do this I simply wrote down LMAO twice.

Just eat this fucking guy. Yeah, for sure. This is actually how they're going to wrap up the try guys. They're just going to kill them all off. Just as they take it out the bids. Do you remember when the pin had this? What?

And like what are the even on the phone to his wife? Yeah. Have you been hang out with the boys? And he's like, yeah, literally. You love hanging out with your

Navy SEAL friends, which is establishing. Great fucking light. It's establishing great fucking light. It's so good. Yeah, don't establish him too hard. He's gone. Oh, the bin man. Oh, the bin man.

Oh, the bin man. The bin man. The man actively talking to their loved ones at the time. Like, he was like taking a shit or something. In this country, the bin man strike. The bin man strike. Yeah, the bin man strike The bin man strike first Having seen the bin man first strike fast today. I think yeah, that's true. That's true. I believe this

We see these guys get killed it derailed me watching the movie about as hard as it derailed the podcast. I like pause just to laugh about it for a bit. It's great. The best bit of the film. It's all sad in the end. It's all genuinely sad. I wanted the rest of it to just be this. 22 short films about killing various members of like this. Maybe it's the whole thing. Just the whole thing. Yes, so good. So anyway, Kelly has one more scene of like, Navy, Steve will take just all of you. Yeah, so good. So anyway, Kelly has one more scene of like,

I love my pregnant wife. And then he goes downstairs, she's asleep because she's pregnant. He's like, I gotta go lie on the couch and eat a weirdly huge bowl of pistachios. And this gets to another problem, which is that Michael P. Jordan, if you've seen the way that he looks, particularly in this movie, he's a very athletic looking man, right?

He's got a huge, huge physique. He's like Wolverine, he's fucking jack. Exactly. And same as that. This dude looks like he only eats creatine. Like, I wouldn't believe that he's ever laid on a couch in his life without doing fucking sit-ups off of the edge of it or something. Yeah, this... I mean, that's the problem with a lot of these fucking characters. That's why I struggle every time I watch Wayne, the rock, Johnson, in a fucking movie when he's playing an accountant or something and not every single person around him isn't constantly going, dude, you are fucking huge. What the fuck is going on?

It's also weird, it's like, I think the reason why he has a giant bowl of pistachios is because they wanted him to have a giant bowl of popcorn, but that's too much because obviously this dude has never like touched a single kernel of popcorn. This man's never like, hob. It's, it's fully like, it's a huge bowl. Like you would get sick of those pistachios after a while, I thought. Yeah.

And like, it's concerning that he just keeps that in his house too. His wife has gone for that. For a while maybe. And he's gone downstairs to listen to music in the dark and he a big bowl of pistachios, which is like weed behavior, except obviously. Did you do boy stuff like listen to music and you see many pistachio in a fucking

stuff? You're right, Debbie. You should have just, you should have been spoken with. That would have been high. I mean, he was doing high guyship, just like for no reason. Yeah. But so, they cut the power and you go like, oh no, they fucked with the wrong guy now. Yeah. Batman, they're the Batman.

The Batman back. The Batman, the Batman breaches house. He grabs a Glock and a flashlight. A cool thing that they did, he doesn't like keep the flashlight on. He just flashes people in the eyes with it, which is good. Yeah, that was good. I like that. So he goes to try and like clear his own house. He kills

four people and then he runs into the fifth guy. Well, two guys are in his bedroom. They kill my wife and then one of them's like, okay, fine, I'm ready because they fully do the bayon, you know, they expect one of us in the records thing. That guy gives lays down his life to get killed next to Kelly's. So my wife. I wanna know this guy's story. Because this is an interesting twist. I was like, okay, that's kinda weird.

Yeah, it was interesting. But so then the fifth guy, he shoots Kelly with the bullets that make you lie down on the floor. Yeah. It's a weird shot because they each run towards each other. They each get shot like five times. And we know that he's been shot because he has to lie on the floor now and he spends the rest of the scene lying on the floor. But the other guy has auto healing turned on. So he just, he lies on the floor for a

break, then gets up and goes. Yeah, and crucially, Kelly sees his face because he like takes off his balaclava and his night vision goggles on the way out. So Kelly then crawls into his bedroom where he finds... Your wife. And again, really curiously muted response. He's just like...

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Yeah, yeah. I want to talk a little bit about this in masculinity later on. Yeah, but we see that he gets picked up by EMTs and overhead shot while he's on the, the gunny, that's, that's the only interesting shot in the movie so far, and it's like 20 minutes in. Also, like, it's curiously, physically and metaphorically bloodless, like, I think even if you had done, like, a little bit more stage blood in this bit, it would have been more affecting, right? But instead, it really

does come across like the guy shoots him with the bullets to make you lie down on the floor, and he has to lie down on the floor. He's not like even sort of visibly wounded. He's got a couple of that little holes in him, but he can't be too wounded because that would be gay. Sort of both collarbones, he gets shot in and has a lie down. Yeah, yeah, he's just got an extra pair of nipples now, but higher. So meanwhile back at the CIA, Ritter's like, yeah, we don't know what the deal is with this, you know, the bin man, this drug, but, you know, we know that Navy SEALs are getting to drugs, they're getting to crime, they, we get drugs, that's well documented.

Yeah. We're told this is a kind of like, oh, you CIA mother fucky piece of shit. And it's like, that's a fact. This is a flatly true. And Greer calls about Greer's like, how dare you disrespect my boys, my precious boys, my love, my precious war criminals who I love very much. Yeah, and this gets worse. Yeah, yeah.

And and and it's written like, I don't know, I'm pretending to be evil at this point of the film. So yes We we then have to go to a hospital scene between Greer and Kelly This is like they have chemistry here kind of like they're both kind of badly let down by the direction But yeah, I thought so they don't make people look fucked up enough in any hospital seen ever, which kind of deflates at a bit. And there's a lot of dialogue is still terrible, but I don't know. I thought it was, I thought it was a well-acted in this scene. Yeah. Well, John's like, I want to hunt the bastards down.

They took my wife. They, they're the bin men. Um, genuinely, I have, I have eight instances of him saying, on one button that I can just deploy at any time. It really, it becomes noticeable in this movie. And then we have to have a scene between Greer and a guy. Yeah, do I always like to see guy peers? Yeah, guy peers, guy I love to see doing accent question mark.

Yeah, like I, I, I guy peers has done done some films he has. And he's also done some films. Yes, he's one of the latter. Yeah, it's sort of the script moved me into a bigger house sort of situations. Yeah, he does a good job. It's like what he's doing with the accent here is I would describe it as like, for corn, Foghorn, but like occasionally becoming British. I'm not going to try and imitate it because I think it is genuinely inimitable, but it's a very, very strange vibe. He's the secretary of defense. Yeah, of course.

Yeah, he's the James Woods Secretary of Defense character. Yes, yeah. And he meets with Greer and he takes her to be briefed by a ritter under protest about what happened. And the CIA has determined that it's the Russians, it's the FSB, all of the guys that Kelly killed in his house were Russians. And this is sort of like revenge for them getting the Russians killed in Syria. Yeah, because one of the people that, one of the unarmed men that Kelly murdered in the opening sequence in Syria was the son of the head of the FSB. Yeah, one of these guy had a wife, you know?

No, no one else has a wife. No one else has a wife. Yeah, I want to talk about this in a minute. But yeah, so these were revenge killings and riches like, look, let's probably keep it quiet that the Russians have. It's like unofficially, the Russian government probably wasn't involved in this, but like, you know, people working for them were, it's like unofficial revenge killings. The CIA, we consider this matter to be closed because, hey, to an around-us-fair play, we killed their judges, just thinking about it.

Let's not escalate it. An entirely reasonable reaction from someone... Yeah, like, trying not to create World War III, right? Yeah, for sure. But this is a regret. The theory is obviously like, yeah, yeah. Treated by the movie as an absolutely insane thing to do. Yeah.

Well, I mean, let's fucking talk about it now, that like this movie really has a hard on for American exceptionalism. Absolutely. And that also extends to seeking revenge. Because as Lala said, like the guys that were killed at the start presumably had wife as well. Yeah, but they had a share of wife. Yeah, they had wife.

Yeah, they had wife. Like, do they not get revenge? No, apparently not. That revenge is bad. Americans are allowed to seek revenge. John Kelly is allowed to seek revenge, but with the other, no one else's. Well, because only he has the strength to do it, right? Like, if, you know, their, their revenge is cowardly and weak and is killing his wife, whereas his revenge is like strong

and daring and, you know, and, and it all feels deeply like un-earned. At this point, at this point we have to get him out of the hospital so we get some rehab scenes which I honestly think have better done than the Jack Ryan thing even though they take about like half the time, sort of very cold, very hard, all of the like rehab shit looks like shit. And like you get the sense that he's like animated only by his like need for revenge, which is fine. Rather than animated by his need to like, not look at him out his head as like blown off

with Jack Ryan was. Yeah, exactly. I mean, you get the sense that he's animated the only buyer of bench, but it's about five times throughout this movie. He looks straight at the camera and goes, animated buyer of bench. I'm kind of like, yes, yes. He does smile, be jeered, you are an admirer of that. Um, like, yes, yes, yeah, smile will be drawn.

Greer, Greer goes to him and is like, look, we don't know who the fourth guy was, the guy in your house who got away. And the chemistry between them is gone by this point. It lasted one scene, one scene only. So however, we do know that these guys all were allowed to be in the country legally in the Russians. And here are some files that I, Nick from the CIA, saying, we don't know who the last guy is, but we know who the guy who cleared their passports was.

He's this guy called Vasiliev, which is just like facilitator, but you've just made it Russian. I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah, good name. First draft, I'll say. He works at the big Russian embassy where they keep all of the Russian. He works at the Russia factory is where they keep all the Russian. He works at the Russia factory. It's definitely the impression I got from this.

He gets out of hospital and is like, I'm going to go find some Russians. Go to the embassy and it's like, I'm going to kill that guy now. Before he goes to the embassy, you remember John Wick? You remember where shit got real in John Wick? He goes back in his house and gets his revenge guns. He goes back in his house and gets his all of his revenge guns. He goes back in his house. He has a bit of a cry. That's in fact where he goes.

But he has to do manly cry. Yeah, he's not we have to do. There's no tint. He can't weep because that would be gay. Yeah. So he said he has to like scream and pant and like hit the floor in himself. And I'm just like, it's really sad. Like, I feel bad for men that they, you should cry, bro.

Yeah, and then he goes to the basement and he goes into his boiler, his hot water heater, where he retrieves a bag full of cash and guns. And I guess one thing I've always thought about guns is that and cash for that matter is they love being stored in hot water. I love it. It's all of the major things keeps him.

Also that he literally just has a revenge murder kit ready to go because it's not like it's on Jason Bourne's go bag in the fucking safety deposit box. It's very much a roaring rampage of revenge tour kit. It's like I think on some level you are expecting your wife to get killed when you put that together. Well, so wouldn't that fuck with your water pressure? Probably, yeah. I mean, energy bills through the roof, Jesus. Yeah, your boilers being serviced and they're like, oh, that's probably full of guns.

It's a clanking noise. It's like the 50 glocks that I keep in my boiler. They're all clanking around the radiators in my head. Yeah, so your tree was a sous-vided guns and... Yeah, fucking Google. What's the gun? We are taking this gun, and we've sous-vided it for a 36 hours. It's like rubbing the gun in spices and like...

Yeah, I'm not. They get it in a light sauce gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets them out of our intakes like a single... Like a twig of pie out of there as well like a single like a twig of pie him out of there as well And we rub the gun in Nutella and put it in the dry edge That's that's such a good fucking impression It's like this is the entire time for watching this multiple times. I thought how is this worse than John Wick when you're doing the same thing? Yeah. How are you doing a worse job of this

than a movie that came out seven years before this one? And so he goes to a motel overlooking the rush of factory where he does. He does some harry do wash shit. What he does is he pisses on his clothes, question mark. He pours vodka over his own head, which your eyes do owl. And in so doing assumes the personality of homeless man. Right. And he's doing some of the same shit. The problem is, right, once again.

And it was Bruno Halton's last to get the problem. The problem was he looks like Michael B. Jordan. Like, Master of Disguise, he is not. Like, hey, check out this insanely ripped homeless guy. This homeless guy approaches you and he looks like he's built like a brick shit house. Well, like the gym is the only place where he can take a shower because he's homeless. And he just uses the gym while he's in there. So he's just seeming really. Yeah.

Yeah. Dude's getting nutrition. He's not homeless. I'm sorry. No, no, he's not. He's he's bulking. He's on protein powders and shit. So so the Russians, the Russian guards are like, hey, you have to get out of here.

You smell like piss. But he avoids them by feigning to be drunk long enough to see the silly eff leave. And then he does the kinds of sozo thing of just walking away increasingly. Increasingly normally is limp-star. Increasingly, Freasingly, normally, is limp-star. Yeah, increasingly normal. He gets, he gets in a car and a tow truck actually and follows him to Dallas Airport and calls the cops to delay him by suggesting that he's a drunk driver,

then ambushes him sort of heat style and rams the car versus in with the tow truck, locking them inside, forcing them inside because it's crushed against the truck, gets out, pours petrol all over the car, which was better done, and I'm reasonably certain I'm remembering this in the right movie. I've seen it done better other places. I think the place where I've seen it as man on Fire, which is an infinitely better revenge movie. But it's definitely it's been done. So it's also a burn note, it's weirdly. So he's setting fire to the car, the guys are trapped inside, and then he just

get in with gets in the car. Yeah, I thought this was an unusual choice. It's not unusual choice from him. It's like a cinematography shot, right? Because the two of them are in the car. Yeah, I thought this was an unusual choice. It's an unusual choice from him. It's like a cinematography shot, right? Because the two of them are in the car. It's like fire all around them. And the guy turns to him and goes, your ex-communicado, Mr. Wake, you're a deathful fall in you wherever you go. Things of that fucking nature.

We've heard it a hundred thousand times before. So why do you smell of piss? Yeah, I don't know. What do you smell? What are you smell of? Hot piss. Like, also something you meant manages to get in the car without burning his hand. And also, this is like outside an airport and no one's like, shot him yet.

Yeah, because he interrogates the guy. She's, she's specifically having a facility that gives him the name Victor Rykov. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He then gets out of the car. He Which is what would have been dead before he got out of the car. Which is like a weird flex like being like I'm a troupes you're actually not allowed to arrest. I'm actually allowed to do this and then they were like no you aren't. Yeah. They're late and they send them to jail and we get the worst scene in the fucking movie. Actually now there are two bad scenes never open a row. So Ritter goes to see Secretary Clay.

Yeah, Clay, who by the way has two orbs on his desk. I really want to make this the episode out. He just these orbs never explain they're just like desk ornaments, but they're kind of like, I don't know, they're just there and they're weirdly huge. And he's just like, this whole conversation takes place across these orbs and it's really fucking distracting is what it is. It's yeah, it is very strange, but essentially a play gives the speech we've heard a hundred thousand times where he goes, oh, maybe he's doing what we can't do actually. Maybe the sky's useful, maybe he's shaking trees that need to be shook. And at this point, I started

looking up the writers, home addresses. Yeah, yeah, the details, like, so documents linking Russia to the attacks, like, to the bin man attacks have been leaked to the news. And the news is like, these, these bin men, they're Russians are attacking. And, and Richard's like, I think, Greer, who you wanted in that briefing, may have leaked this. And then Claire is like, what if this is based, actually? What if it's cool? What if it's sick? What if it's so cool?

It's so cool. So Greer goes to visit Kelly in the museum. It's the West Sea in the Britain. Where he explains one of the themes of our podcast in the most banal, possible possible way where he goes, we served the country and didn't love us back because we believe in what it could be. And he concludes from this that shooting after millions. Yeah.

And he concludes from this that the United States is bitch made. And that now he lives only for revenge for a wife. So. That's interesting. The you took it that way. I saw both Greer and Kelly are black. And I took that in particular given that time this film came out

and like would have been being filmed, presumably it was filmed during 2020, which was the kind of height of the George Floyd uprising. I took this as a commentary on the fact that like, this is a film about American patriotism with a black protagonist at a time when the life... It definitely is. Yeah.

Yeah. I viewed it as an attempt by the film to at least like, kind of address that. Yeah, but that's never that explicit because that could be dangerous. The failing, the way in which America has failed them both is that they allowed his wife to get killed. Yeah, yeah, it's not like, yeah, I tried to find the full text of a speech, but I couldn't find it. But essentially he does the like unironically goes like, I didn't carry an assault weapon

in the streets of Aleppo only to see it come back to the United States. Like, man, do you not think that any of them had families? Do you not like? Yeah, he says the Russians think of the cost of violence. Yes, they cost the mind killing his wife and he's like, Mr. Wife Killer. Like, what do you fucking talk? Yeah, the whole thing started because you killed the head of the FSB.

He's got a nice little pattern, but say love kill wife. Like, what do you fucking mean? Because COVID-19, not my the seals was like a wife killer. Yeah, but the thing about colonial violence is that it returns to the metropome in the form of your bin area getting hit by a van. I think you use both thumbs to make love kill wife fit. For the snow caps in it. L-U-V-K-I-L wife. How many fingers do you put?

People can all love. I've got to fucking all that fingers and and we're gonna drop this subject now. And then, with, like, yeah, I'm not really... Look, so... This is beside the point. So Kelly tells Greer, I will tell Clay what I know, and the name that Vasiliev gave me, if you get me out of here, because the are going to get me killed in this jail. And then we have to do jail fights. This was almost good. Yeah, it's almost the best scene in the movie. So I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me.

Yeah, they try to get them out of his cell and he's like, no, because you're going to try and kill me. So they send in a cell extraction team. Yeah. And when and like the and he's like, no, because you're going to try and kill me. So they send in a cell extraction team. Yeah. And when, and like the second he's like, oh, you're not going to get me out of here unless you tell me where we're going and they like shut the gate and he knows that they're going to bring like a bunch of guys and he like gets the floor wet. I don't know. He takes his shirt off, which I appreciated. And gets ready to fight. And I found it. It's like I like it. It's like a sort of a wet fight. Yeah, he's just like to like,

I don't know, because he's a Navy SEALer. Wet fight is his fucking specialism. This is so weird. He gets like plus 10 attack if he invokes. Yeah, the more the risk is ally. You know what I think lets this down this scene is the cinematography. Like I think you'd have to do something really innovative.

Like sort of like the raid level of claustrophobic. Yeah, and it's not claustrophobic enough. Yeah, I think if you had tried to convey how like confine the space it is that they're fighting it, if you had done that more successfully, it could have been a great fight scene. Instead, he just beats the shit out of all of them. They send in more guys. He continues to beat the shit out of them. He's doing tower defense here. And then they send in some... They fucking teased me or something that they didn't deliver me, which is that eventually the entire corridor outside the cell is full of sweat. And I was like,

and we're going to do fucking like old boy fight, but they don't, they just give him a phone and they're like, no, idiot, we're on your side. Come out, boys. Yeah. I don't even know if those guys were on his side or if you just had to like survive X number of waves of them before the US Marshals

who are on his side show up. I think that is the case, yeah. The US Marshals rescue him and we get to, they get him in the car and we get an insane piece of dialogue that I really just I want to draw out because it's a good yardstick for how bad the dialogue is in this in general you get some in the car he's talking to the US marshal um you messed up when they send the motorcade buddy you're gonna write songs about

oh shit you messed up so two things first of all about all the shit you messed up. So two things. First of all, he says, you know, you messed up when they said in the motorcade, like, that's a sort of commonly used. I've said it all day. Proper. And then, and then the Marshall says, they're going to write songs about all the ways you messed up, which people don't really write songs like that anymore. In what genres, they're going to be like a John Kelly, like Nathco Curito? What's the ballad of John Kelly?

What are you talking about? Prison songs, like what do you... It doesn't really follow from the thing that he said. It's like they're both sort of talking at cross purposes. Yeah, yeah. Like we're Chinese room dialogue. It's just like line, but he responds to your line. It's like it's literally just line response and you're like, all right.

Yeah, I see. The dialogue in movies like this, 100%. Yeah, so they take him to a CIA black site where Ritter, Clay, and Greer are waiting for him. And Clay once again does the, maybe we need the Batman thing. Greer says he's too emotional. And he is. Right. Greer is correct. He's correct at this point. And also outright.

Yeah. So has the capacity to do this, but don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so like Kelly says, look, it's this guy, Victor Reikov, he's behind it. Richard's like, no way Reikov's dead. We killed him ages ago. And then turns to one of the soldiers on his team and says, can you put Reikov's face in a lineup? Yeah, that soldier's name, by the way.

Trair? Which is not funny in itself, but it is a useful drop for us for future reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soldiers name is Trair. Rick. Yeah.

And they put Reikov's face in a lineup and Kelly is immediately like, you know, that's the guy who took my wife's. Yeah, and I immediately spotted him off from the lineup as well, because it's the guy that looks the most like Peter Stormer. What's a fucking guy? Yeah, you say Peter Stormer, I say sort of like a poor man's poor GMR. I wrote that down later when I heard him speak that he sounds and looks like poor GMR here.

Yeah, yeah, sort of poor GMemarty's non-union equivalent. Ritter says this guy, he's maybe planning a tax on US soil if he is still alive because that's kind of his whole deal. It's going to do 9-11-3 after Jack Ryan prevented 9-11-2. So find him and bring him in alive. Kelly's like, yo, can I be on the team that's definitely going to bring him in alive. Kelly's like, yo, can I be on the team? That's definitely going to bring him in alive. And everyone's like, no, gris as no. And then he plays like, but what if it's based actually, what if it's cool? Yeah, okay. So at this point, if you haven't, clocks, clays roll of an auto, honestly, you're an

embassy. Yeah. Just like, all right. Yeah. He's now, he's based, maybe, send him. And they, they get no fucking plane. This, I'm nice base. Maybe send him and they they get no fucking plane This I'm skipping ahead very slightly yet, but they get no plane and fucking um a griller is like you literally cannot be trusted mate Can he's like what the fuck was that about when you said that I couldn't be trusted and gris like are you gonna kill the guy But we've been sent to not kill and he's like absolutely I'm gonna kill the guy And gris like that's fucking why, mate. That's why. Yeah. It's actually a good little scene between the two of them. You get kind of like a brother sister dynamic, they're what just fun. Anyway, then so they're in a like, what is ostensibly a civilian passenger jet that they're going to parachute out of.

Very specific. And the Russian isn't there. Yeah. And the Russians immediately make them with a fighter jet that like literally the guy looks in the window through the cockpit and is like, wait a second, that's fucking Michael B Jordan. There's no way a guy in a regular plane would be that muscular. Yeah, and they shoot down the plane. The plane crashes, the plane overturns capsizes, thanks.

Kelly has the like he chooses to go back in and dive and do some fucking video game diving sequence shit. We have to come up for air and air pockets to rescue the gear and genuinely baffling that the special effects budget went for this. Yeah, there is a really cool sequence as the fuselage of the plane is flooding and rotating and the water is like sloshing around. I was like, oh wow, that's kind of very well made. I can see when the Amazon budget was. Yeah, it's like why here? Well, I don't know. I just, I always like a sequence that requires like a dedicated, like, set, you know? Yeah, I'm not doing things rotate. I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to rotate and fill with water.

I know they had a fucking contraption on the deck at that point. Yeah, yeah, it's fun. It's like that bit of an inception where they build the rotating set. Yeah, I find that, I find that. Probably sort of very similar to the helicopter immersion training thing that they have a fuselage that turns. Yeah, no, it's cool. It doesn't really serve much use in the movie. All it tells us is, hey, Michael B. Jordan's character, he's a bad ass. Michael B. Jordan still refuses to follow a single fucking order, but it's okay, because

it's based everyone loves him. So they get to Russia, brackets land. They have a weird scene where they introduce themselves with their real names, because they think they're going to die, which is like a weirdly sort of confected thing. This idea that like seals all have aliases, seal sonas that they don't like, not not grew up. They can't either. They can't crazy. I agree with them. Yeah. The fucking Kelly thinks that Ritter has betrayed them, so he threatens him, bangs his head against all a few times, until like essentially his method of field expedient interrogation is to threaten him with a gun, choke him, say, you're trying to betray me and you killed

my wife. And Ritter just says, no no I didn't until he let's not really any sort of In new information that's revealed as a result of this other than Rich's like I didn't I didn't I'm on your side I know how it looks, but I am on your side. Yeah, I was like okay. I'm both asking answered I guess Time to go to my man's where we Infiltrate the apartment building of Discount Paul GMR-C. Kelly breaks away on his own because he wants to kill him instead of capture him as we knew that he would. And Discount Paul GMR-C is like, you know, we're all being played here. There's a man behind the man, I'm not going to tell you who it is. Yeah, he just has a sense of answer to cryptic bullshit and

then blows himself up. He's wearing a suicide vest and it's like a fully like a vest covered in plastic explosives and when he blows himself up, Kelly just like a ducks behind his forearm. He's fine. It's fine. It looks like it was going to go off bigger than that. We saw you shoot through a wall thicker than that at the beginning of this movie five or six hours ago, whenever that was. I mean, at the very least he'd be deaf.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But he gets some dust on him. The rest of the team catch him up. They're about to leave and they are attacked by a sniper in what is I thought was a reasonably effective sequence like it's good sound design They're like it's a big sort of like meaty sniper rifle noise and then you see the big like plumes of Of impact dust and stuff it escalates nicely and that they think they figure out where the sniper is and then there's also a second one Yeah, and then it ruins it a bit by adding a third one which

I'm here to guys guys. Video games, once again, video games. So what happens then is the Russian cops show up. And the Russian cops plan is I hear gunfire. I simply get out of my car in the middle of a four way intersection and I stand the fuck around. And in the course of doing that, one of the snipers shoots both the cops and Greer goes holy shit, he just killed two cops and then there's some sad music. Like it's an earnestly back the blue ass moment about Russian cops. Russian police? Yeah. It's so funny that the Thin Blue Line also extends to, is the Russian flag already has a Thin Blue Line, so it's a fission.

Quite a thick blue line, even on the Russian flag. That's true, yeah. It's like a whole third of it. Oh, damn. Yeah. Russian cops. Russian cops. Much, much more important too.

I'm just like, is there Lyon's bit, I don't know. Yeah, this film is slightly confused, who's lives matter when it comes to agents of the Russian state? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it can't kill them, but, but, but, true. When they're unarmed, can't kill them, that's not right.

Yeah, confused, confused, even within the same scene, because the, the Russians, Russian troops, it's like the military police is what they are, basically, armed bands and stuff. They try and storm the apartment and at this point, the penny finally drops and Kelly is like, oh, wait a second, we've been set up the whole time. They're gonna, that's why they had to like kill

the Russian guy in my bedroom. So there was a Russian guy behind, we're gonna get killed here. And that's going to start world or three because there's going to be like dead Americans in Russia having a shoe set with their troops. Yeah. So this is the worst thing that you can ever do to me is to make me watch a fucking two hour movie and then hit me at the end with my god. This was all planned from the start. Like yeah, come because you fucking wrote it like this. There's no, like, secretary Clay's, he's behind it,

by the way, hi everyone. His fucking plan was to have Russian guys kill Kelly's wife and then leave a Russian in there so that he would snap, go kill the Russian ambassador, go to prison, give a speech about America that persuades the CIA to let him go to Russia so that he can get killed by Paul Giamatti and then also to Cobstoy. So that the Russian cops would find an American soldier and start World War Three,

even though finding a Russian soldier didn't start World War Three because America is more fucking like noble than Russia or some shit. And we're supposed to be like genius, put it all together. He knew it would work like that. What are you talking about? No, no! It doesn't make any sense! You can't pretend it does

These things don't logically follow also why if he wanted to war with Russia. Why not just lie? My brother in Christ you are the secretary of defense One half of the authority required to launch nuclear weapons. You want to war with Russia? You can have a war with Russia, dude. Why would it necessary to kill this guy's wife? Why are you pretending you planned that he would set that car on fire? Why, and why does every character look directly at the screen and go, damn, that's clever. No, it's not. But so, so, so, Kelly establishes, right?

One of the seals got shot by the sniper and is like wound it and dying, whatever. Kelly establishes, right, that we're being played here. But then, the thing that they, the thing that they want, the worst thing we could possibly do is to get in a gun fight with the Russian military. The Russian military shows up, he shoots them. There, we get three things and very close, we get that reveal. I've done that, I'm fine. We get, we get, he literally, we get my favorite sequence in all of these fucking films,

which is for him to be like, my God, we're all being played against each other. And then immediately, like, start shooting the guys that we've just text-ly confirmed a blameless, just like fucking brutally killing these guys. He chokes one of them out for no fucking- he's still throwing grenades off the roof on top of- Just the sandwich that killing cops is bad and now he's like- No it's pointing up on the other machine that's based and he says to them he goes I will distract them because if they find your bodies your marines but for me that I'm just a convict and the answer to that is no you aren't you're the biggest man on earth and additionally you're wearing fucking Navy seal seal uniform. I don't think they check the prison records. What the fuck? What the fuck?

At this point, I have a box out in my notes here of Russian God the Body Count inflicted by John Kelly. He kills 13 of these fuckers after realizing oh it's gonna be bad politically Kills two and it's treated with such sobriety and then he kills 13 on the way out and that's fucking bass Marry I'm like Oh my god, it's fine if he does it the movie fucking kill me yeah It's fine if he does it the movie fucking kill me yeah, so so so the way that he gets out right is he sets off some more explosives like a big Central moment

The way he gets to the ambulance by the way is it's fucking Nick from Leon the professional is what it is But like he does a quick change in the midst of an explosion where he just takes a russian guy's a uniform He doesn't piss on it this time He still smells it Russia's like what what is this? He still has the love deas. He still kisses on the outfit for the quick change, just like, habitually. He's sort of impediment to his disguise. This is happening in Northern Russia and Michael B. Jordan is still black.

Right? He's in the first gas mask. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. That's the fucking Soviet, it's the fucking Joe. Yeah it is. It's literally is. It's just like, I, we trained a guy, he's like, he speaks fluent Russian, he's like the greatest agent we've ever had and he got his Kelt day one because he's black.

And it's like, well done. You've done the joke unironically and it's the part of your fucking move. Also, this action sequence is he's escaping the building, just goes on way too long, because I don't care about John Clark as a character yet. Still, like a half way through the film, I don't care about him. They had, they had like fucking 20 minutes to get us like on board with this guy and all we got was, oh, I, which is not enough. It's not quite enough. It's not enough. I've which they boldly spend the first 10

till I get to lose a murderer. Yeah. It's just, I should know what that's why he's accept this fucking guy. And he, and he, like, and it, we're not even overselling multiple times throughout the movie. He looks directly at the camera and explains that they shouldn't have killed his wife because that's like activated him to become a sicko. Oh, I have the movie. He looks directly at the camera and explains that they shouldn't have killed his wife because that's like activated him to become a sicko.

Oh, I have the drop. They're going to play by morals now. I'll show them what a porn could do to a king. Yeah, cool, man. Yeah. So he goes back to DC. Oh, we did, we did nice to this others that Rich is actually a good guy because they get on the boat to leave and he's like, when I go back, they're going to send me me back to prison and Rich is like do you want a bag full of cash and we'll just tell everyone that you're dead Because I'm nice now. It's very helpful. Yeah, it's cool. Ritter really goes John You're gonna have to go ghost so we can find out who's behind this and then the next scene John walks into the bathroom of Secretary Glenn goes hello I had to go ghost so I can find out you're behind this and like was there not supposed to be something between those two?

I don't know I've gone ghost. All right. I'm done being ghost Two seconds of scenes He exits ghost mode very quickly seems to be good Kid that he's not like a Danny Phantom. Yeah He does a classic thing like tricks him into revealing more than he's supposed to know. He's like, oh yeah, like, it's really, isn't it really fucked up that like,

they had a guy blow himself up with the suicide vest and Clay is like, yes, it is. And he's like, but I didn't tell you that that had happened when I just said it now. Clay is like, oh, Dix, yeah, it's like, it's the most fucking. Wow, well done, you got it. That's like, oh, god, I hate movies. And Clay, like, if Clay was any good at lying,

would you think he would be a secretary of defense? You'd have gone, yeah, I read it in the report. Yeah, but he doesn't. He tries to play it off and gets kidnapped for his trouble. And then he gives a speech that you've heard a hundred million times before where he goes. No, you remember the Cold War was good because of economy. We need

enough renamy again. He says half this country thinks the other half is an enemy because we don't have a real fight anymore. Half of the US thought the other half were communists during the Cold War. US defense spending after the Cold War ended went up. Buddy, I'm a faggot. Half of the country does think I'm there on a big. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, and also like because of class conflict, they're not even wrong. But he's on some Dr. Mann hat and shit. At this point, so Clay says something very interesting. He says, I thought our way would keep people like you in check. And the only way I can interpret that is him saying, I thought our way would keep people like you in check. And the only way I can interpret that is him saying, I thought our way military violence would keep people

like you elected politicians in check. And it's like, what is the politics of this movie? But anyway, he says to Clay, we are currently driving to your country home. He threatens to kill his wife and children. Yeah, I wrote the play reveals his plan. I've written this as our hero, it's really fucking bleak. Yeah, it is. And then he simply drives the

mouth of the edge of a bridge, makes Clay say his wife's name, drowns him in the car. Because as we've established with the born movie and with a quantum of solace or casino royale, when a meaningful woman dies, it has to happen in an underwater location. This is now transported that emotionally to an underwater location. That's right. Additionally, this is one of those movies that believes that if you're angry enough, you can hold your breath for like 10 minutes. It's true.

It's true. It's something that I think I last believed in as a toddler? Well, the Navy tells him that I can't play. Yeah, he kills clay. I do like that afterwards. He just kind of like sits in the car with him because he doesn't really want to get rescued or live. And then he hallucinates his wife who tells him

that heaven is real. I wasn't really expecting Tom Clancy's without remorse to take a position on the existence of an afterlife. Clancy's in the background of this heaven sequence. I'm like, I deserve all of this. No, it's good. He has like a sequence he thinks of his wife and he's like, is this heaven as she goes, no, and it's like in front of a fire.

No, this is just a set fire. I'm like, yeah, you're in Hellman. You're in Hell for all of a minute. Yeah, that was it. I was an interesting, I was like, if I was're in Hellman. You're in Hell for all the people. Yeah, that was it. I was an interesting, I was like, if I was depicting the afterlife, I would stay away from fire.

I was like an image. It's like, oh, it's just, yeah, not great. And then he gets rescues. And I'm like, oh, fucking hell man. He gets rescued and then he's putting together the fucking Avengers. Yeah, it's literally a mid-credits scene. Well, we're not there yet, right?

Because Greer and everyone like rescue him with a scuba shit. And then obviously this conversation between him and Clay has been recorded. And like, Ritter has the recording and like goes to his director of the CIA and says, hey, we've got recording of Clayer like. At no point does anyone say actually what you have there is a recording of a CIO operative killing the secretary of defense, which you think would be kind of politically explosive. No, no, no, no one cares. But anyway, Ritter uses this leverage to get a favor and gives gives John a new identity, John Clark. Yeah, Willem Dafoe.

Send them to the clinic that makes for Dianna the day. They can be a dreamer and then Willem Dafoe. Yes, there's a strange clinic. And then after that, he says goodbye to Greer and in a post, well, mid-crevative scene. I want to just like give the audience this one. Again, he cannot not- I didn't watch this. He can't stop coming back. Yeah, he goes goes He comes back. The second the credit started to roll. I wrote down like brackets mid credit scene John

I'm putting together a team the Avengers and then it literally happened when I finished writing my own It cuts down mid credit. See it's like fucking John's like I'm thinking of putting together a team International Antiterrorist group called Rainbow. And I'm like, it's cool. It's a lot to kill me. Rainbow Six was, well, first of all, Rainbow Six is pretty directly oppositional to this movie's thing of Americans are unique and special. It's a Russian on it, actually.

But also, it's versionally that as an intellectual property, Rainbow Six is now a video game about like gay dudes repelling onto each other and stuff, which is fine. Like I missed a single player, but that's yeah, it is cool. It doesn't really jive with what I think the movie is going to be, but they are contractually obliged to make it. So yeah, but is this from Saber? I'm just trying to imagine like, I'm having a good time. If anyone fucks with your wife, you should kill them. Crying as gay. Crying as gay. Other people don't have wives. Only your wife.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no only your life is real. Life is solipsism. Yeah. Russian, Russian's a gay, the CIA is gay. America's gay now as well. Yeah, the economy is gay.

And the only thing that's in your life is you're staying out with your wife. Yeah. A thing which they want to take away from you. They want to do that. I was having a really good time imagining like an MCU level of hype when they do have character reveal of Chavas Ding or something. Like everyone in the cinema standing up like, oh my god, it's ding. I kept expecting him to like, I thought there was going to be a credit sequence where

he meets Jack Ryan. Yeah, that's what I was expecting. They can't decide whether it exists in the same universe, because their original plan was to do this with Kevin Costner back again and Tom Hardy, and then it did not happen. I mean, yeah, this movie's been in development hell for like nine years. Yeah, not a good movie. What does it say for masculinity? Quite a lot.

No one else has wives. Only your wife is real. It's gay to try and keep whatever they want, but it's not gay to go on like a roaring rampage of revenge. So you can do that if you want. We have a science-based rating. We do. It's called the scum system. Stance of smarm, cultural insensitivity, unprovoked violence

and misogyny. I know which one it's going to score very highly on, but hassmami is without a remorse. Like zero. Very. Like literally, it's no s'marmable. It doesn't, there's no jokes. The only time it tries to be s'mami's when the guys like, buddy, response to the thing you just said. It's like, it's a kind of fail to be s'mami.

It's about getting a motorcade about what you've thought. Gonna write songs about me. I'm just written by a word. The whole movie is a fucking exquisite corpse. It's unbelievable. Zero. Yeah, no smart whatsoever. Notable for an absence of it. Cultural insensitivity. The lives of everyone from like Russia to Syria to Russia again, totally disposable. Three other countries. But on the other hand, I do want to sort of take a point off for the fact that it weirdly gets in its feelings about Russian cops.

That's briefly. That's it to one moment when it decides it has to be culturally sensitive is like, you know, in Russian culture, the cop is very highly respected and killing them is considered a major folk. That's what Michael B. Jordan is showing on the loading screen is he gets on the plane to Russia. There's generally, there's a cultural norm in Russia that killing a cop with a sniper rifle is considered very disrespectful. Yeah.

Three? Three. Three. considered very disrespectful. Yeah. Oh yeah. So when I was yelling earlier, I forgot to mention that part of Secretary Clay's plan was to tip the Russians off that they were coming over in a passenger jet so that they could get shot down. That was part of it. He expects them all to survive. Then, then they wouldn't have found the bodies. They're not. No, because he knew they would all survive, right, so that they could get in there undercover. Because why are they all set? They're all from the get-go.

No, it's like it's one of those categorical errors between, like, table knowledge and character knowledge. It's very literally, they wrote the movie so they know the way it happened, and then they're like, but what if one of the characters knew the way it happened as well? It's like it doesn't work like that man. Yeah, okay, so unprovoked violence might come very high. The form of a draw. It's the basically like the whole thing of the movie.

He also curious a bit when he interrogates Vasili, if he just sort of like shoots him in different places until he gets an answer he wants. Talk to murder, all of it steamed fine. I think it's going to be like nine. That's fine. What happened to Vasili and his driver? You know, it's completely blame the skygoat shop. Yeah, yeah, just a driver. Just just made it.

Just made it. I'll promote. It's cool because he's Russian. Well, the thing about the Russian cops is that he gets sad when the two like roll up like Bobby's on the beat, but when the military cops rock up, they've they've allowed themselves to die. That's like five star wanted level. Yeah.

Um, misogyny. I mean, it shows a female officer being leader of a sealed team, which does as far as I know has yet to happen. No, it does not. She, she has no inner life other than being like a bros with him, just as his wife has no inner life other than being about to have his baby. Um, does the film pass the kill James Bond test do any female characters express any thoughts or opinions or represent a perspective on the themes of the film? No. Which are what, I guess?

Like, whatever themes are... Yeah, America has some problems because it's a game now. We have primarily exists to have the themes like told to her by Michael P. John. And it just sort of reacts. Yeah, it cuts back to her the entire way through and she's like fully stony faced the entire way, which is the character, but it doesn't.

What are the themes of this film? Like, the theme's the theme's the theme's, the Amazon Prime owns the rights to everything and every movie they make is the most expensive movie ever made and it all looks like shit. They would like to have a Tom Clancy verse, please. And if we keep making them, eventually one of them will stick.

This is something that people have been believing since hunt for red October. It will never change. We are doomed to hear about Jack Ryan and John Clark forever. Yeah, and we'll... Five? This bond will return.

Six even? Everything like that. I do a five. It was Bond Wilbert and everything like that. I do a five. It's like thoughtless, massage and give of a mission. Yeah. In that case, that gives a total score of 17, which nicely rounds out the Tom Clancy arc

because it's the same score that our first one, Patriot Games got. Atrocious. So, yeah. What a waste of our time and yours. Yes, indeed. You guys tell that it's a movie we all hated Um, I'm, um, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm they do Rainbow Six or until they do another Ryan one again is to commit ourselves to another series, another espionage based series. It's time to get back in time and enjoy some more fun vibes. Let's go back in time.

This is Abby, this is you right there. There's some actors that aren't currently working so that we can talk about them. Some made by producers who aren't currently making a lot of very big stuff that I want to be in So yeah, being distributed on streaming services that are making you know, hey what I said about I was on time just not there's not go Please buy my TV series And anyway, hey if I was up for I was to buy TV series of me love them Yeah, I take everything back. Yeah.

Yeah. So, let's just say you might be aware that there was a modern man from Uncle Film made with Henry Cavill. And what you might not know. And that's now current non-person army hammer. Yes. And what you might not know is that there was actually a series of like man from Uncle Film's made in the 60s and 70s very much in in the kind of Roger Moore Spire event, which

are very badly made and very funny. So I think we should try watching... well, this was the first one of those and then we'll like see if we get bored. Yeah, because that's like 15 of the fuckers. Yeah, let's do that. We'll watch as many of them as we need to and then we'll do the modern man from Uncle Sirius to round it out. Or just... Well, standing. Well, this has been another mainline episode of Girl James Bond. We have a Patreon, but

you don't have to subscribe to it if you want the bonus episodes over this winter, because of the cost of living, you can just get them for free if you want. If you've got some extra money, if you're like an investment banker or something, or you work for Amazon Prime. If you live in a country of it as an England. If you if you live in a normal, functional country or something that approaches one, then you can still subscribe to the Patreon. We will be very grateful for it because it helps us pay our own heating bills. And we will see you for the next bonus episode, which is going to be...

Salum. Salum. Outstanding. Let's go. Oh, they're being... Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Salum Salum outstanding Thank you for listening to yet another episode of kill James Bond This movie was not good. It's free on Amazon Prime, but my god. it's not even worth the money for that. Just just, oh Christ.

But if you would like to hear us talk about a movie that's actually good, feel free to tune in next week on the free feed for Saloon, which is a movie I'm very excited to introduce to. And that movie will be on the free feed because it is the winter of content. But we still have some patrons and special thanks to those 15 pound and above patrons and those are Christine Fox, Amanda Comet, orWinchester, Gustavo Lira, Jack Holmes, paint-machala, George Rojak, Thomas Overhart, Nick Horace, Yarrick, Nate, oh, Jesus, Samori, coconut-crab, Coriose, Benoarice, Kit-Vine, Library Hitman, Eiffcrime, Gallon Bernie, Jonathan Good, Jack Drummond, Max Gamer-Hart, Kentucky Fried Commie, help Bloodhands, Jay Martin, D'Al, Top O.

Hmm, he's some age, maybe I don't know, I should look into all of his. Jonathan Siegel, Big Tilly Goth girl, Mothman, Ellen Pederberg, Harrison Fuller, Trip, Freeman Commissar, Gen Gen Sidney, Steckel, Tiger, Otaku, Charlie out of the closet. Pauline, will you marry Gena? I don me know. Danny Potter. Terfs eats shit and die alone. Zoe shepherds Elizabeth Cox. In Ross, Emily thought this film was about short owls. That's out of date. There's no way this one was.

Er, notably my mother has cancelled hers, so not to friend of the show. Alfredo, Quinvulari, I make Devon say this out loud, Wolfie, Big Old Boy, Ryle Leal, Al Erwing, Lucy Keely, Josh Simmons, Lauren Baston, Millie and Bon Lebonne. Kill James Bond is Alice, Abigail and Devon, our producer, is the wonderful Neybethay, our podcast art, is by the all right Maddie Loupchansky and our website is by the all right Maddie Lupchanski and our website is by the pretty good Tom Allen. There you go. you