Upstream - S2E22: Atomic Blonde

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

This week, a one-off episode to bridge the gap before our Austin Powers live shows: Atomic Blonde! Charlize Theron stars in a nest of spies type situation in cold war Berlin... a movie with immense po...tential that sadly completely fucks itself with that most insidious of poisons: Masculinity. ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh my god, I think I fucking love you. That's too bad. Hello, welcome to the website. Sorry, I just wanted to recreate the experience of watching this film. That's fair. And also the experience of watching this film. That's fair. And also the experiences of many of us in real life these days, these of days. Oh, yes. Because on another episode of Kill James Bond, I am Alice Goldauk,
Starting point is 00:00:38 and I'm joined as always by my friends Abigail Thorland Devon. Hey, sorry. I do. Also, the lingering presence of toxic masculinity, right? Which we cannot escape and which shrouds all of our actions in. I scrub myself in the shower, I can't go rid of it. Yeah, and it's imposed on us. It's coming in from outside, circling us.
Starting point is 00:00:59 It's, you know, every day of our lives we confront toxic masculinity. And so I thought we would have a nice escape from toxic masculinity by watching a movie but oh fuck this toxic masculinity and there Turns out they've got fucking they got men in the movies as well the the one thing I depended on I remind upon pretty much Yeah, I know. Hey, okay, there's gonna be at least one woman. Maybe two. There is at least one woman in our two. That's true. This movie, I believe passes the Bec Deltest,
Starting point is 00:01:33 which demonstrates once and for all, this sort of like in utility of that test, is that one thing, I'm gonna fund. Just about, just about, it's great big line. With like a D-line or something, the pixel test. Like me passing my fucking bachelor's degree, it's just like, oh baby, we got there.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Yeah, coming in like bad. This is atomic blonde. And atomic blonde was, shall we? The Ron's passion project for a while. It was an adaptation of a graphic novel called The Coldest City. Oh really? I didn't notice from the way it's edited. And like one of a couple of graphic novels that are sort of like set in this this sort of cold war thing as velvet which is better but they adapt to the worst one. And the vibe here was going to be James Bond, Bracket's Woman. And this was like a real passion project. They marketed it very heavily
Starting point is 00:02:32 and everything. It's the director. And then what happened was they gave it to the co-director of John Wick, which sounds great, right? We love John Wick. I did that thread about it. Like, have you been talking about John Wick for like a week now? I could literally talk about John Wick for hours and will at some point. Yeah. Absolutely. We love John Wick. But then something went wrong because we got this movie Atomic Blonde, which I remembered
Starting point is 00:02:58 when we picked it for this quite fondly. I was like, oh, yeah, it was all right, of like, insubstantial, stylish, fun. It was a big sort of like visual inspiration for a game of hunt of the visual that I ran in certain 1980s Berlin. And then I made my friends watch it and I realized, you know, the worst thing that can happen to anyone, you make your friends watch a movie, you've hyped up a bit, and you remember it's bad, and you were embarrassed. You're like, uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:03:24 You watched them. Yeah. I think it's bad and you were embarrassed. You're like, uh-oh. You watched them. I think it's bad. I said this in the group chat. I think it's bad in a way that is interesting to talk about because on paper I can see how this looks really good. It's like an action movie. It's starring Charlize Theran. She's also producing it.
Starting point is 00:03:38 So I bet she was like, I think she just turned like 40 when this was happening. So I have a lot of respect for her and I'm gonna play a leading lady. I'm gonna play a sexy action hero, show that I still got it. This is just when super hero films are getting really, really big, so it's a great career move for her.
Starting point is 00:03:53 And yeah, we've got the guy here like co-director John Wick on board, which all sounds very good. Unfortunately, we have the guy, the man, who co-director John Wick. And I don't know if it's fair to lay the blame for everything in this movie at his door. We'll let it try. I guess that happens when you're direct.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Yeah, you've just got a name on the thing in big letters right at the very start. I'm responsible for all of this. I have, yeah, would still love to work with you anytime. Uh, if you ever need exactly one woman, uh, there's some, like, some interesting, some interesting things about this movie. Uh, and there's, there's, it has potential, which is in some ways the worst thing that a movie has. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Um, oh, truly. That's the saddest part of it. It's, it's trying, it's trying real hard. Almost. So, yeah, we begin, we have to begin, of course, That's the saddest part of it. It's trying real hard. Yeah, we begin. We have to begin, of course, for the 009. Of course. A 009 pursued through Berlin caught and killed by a KGB assassin called Yuri Bukhtin, who
Starting point is 00:05:01 delivers basically my analysis of the movie, which is... Maybe you're not as good at this spice shit as you think. And then kills him. This is actually my ideal role in a movie. Is to be the guy who shows that first and gets killed. And then it's just like, ah, maybe like a photo of me shows up every so often. Like the protagonist is looking at it like damn, I can't believe they killed Devon. But like, my creature's ced. I'm off and done.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Yeah. And we see that like spying in this, in this world, sort of like, a lot of, a lot of banter, very banter base. You're so steel. You guys watch, which I thought was just a, I thought that was just a funny joke, but it turns out to be important. Yes. This was called James Gascoin. And we follow this back to London.
Starting point is 00:05:46 It's by the show. I'm wearing this like ice blonde hair. And the ice solid ice. Yes, drowning herself in a bathtub full of ice to heal from. Some, you know, she's had the shake kicked out of her. And this is just like, well done. It is, but it's also, it's also the shake kicked out of her. And this is just like, it's well done. It is, but it's also the kind of like joke answer to how do you introduce your female protagonist.
Starting point is 00:06:12 And it's like she's naked and vulnerable. It's like, for sure. When I say well done, I mean technically, like she looks like she has lost a bunch of fights. Yes, she's proficient. Which she had because like she cracks two a bunch of fights. Yes, she's proficient. Which she had because she cracks two teeth filming this movie. Like one of the things that I have sort of ambivalent feelings
Starting point is 00:06:32 about is that this is a movie with a lot of like heavy fight scenes. And there's a lot of John Wick in it in that sense. And it must have been very intense to do, you know, teeth aside. And it really, it sells, I don't know, maybe those are real bruises I can't tell. So that's good. But she's sort of like, shall I start on? Lorraine Broughton, this MI6 agent. Living in this insanely nice flat. Like, that's true. Maybe this is because I'm like, I need to-
Starting point is 00:07:06 Maybe this is because I'm like, yeah, she's sort of like drowning her sorrows with a lot of vodka and slowly healing from these injuries and we see that she has a photo of 009 gas going, which she burns and that sets light to the whole thing, changes, because there's no light in that scene, so like very blue and washed out, and then you get some red from the thing,. It's like very, very pleased with itself. Yeah, she gets all the... What do I talk about? The bath full of ice and like grabs a fistful of it,
Starting point is 00:07:51 puts into a glass and like pours like some fucking stoley vodka on it. In a very like, this is what the character is about, sort of a move. Game of Girl bath, vodka. Yeah. I do, the cinematography of this, it's very much comic book, right? And we've had a lot of comic book movies, a lot of comic book adaptations, and the sort of like, how style that's developed for filming those is a bit less obtrusive than this one, I find. Yeah, this is really, it's really kind of leaning on it. It's really good.
Starting point is 00:08:25 This is based on a graphic novel, like the way the titles come up and they're like spray-pated onto the screen. And again, like really, really good career move for everyone involved here, given the rise of superhero films that was kind of meteoric at the time, slowing down a bit now. Sure. But so Lorraine goes to work at MI6. We get the first big music here. Blue Monday. We love Blue Monday, don't we folks? And this gets to my other big criticism of this movie, which is, this is a Spotify
Starting point is 00:08:54 Best of the 80s playlist that occasionally remembers there's a movie attached to it. This is a movie that has a soundtrack. And I mean, that in the worst, because even more way, it's some of these bang. Yeah. Quite a lot of them are very on the nose. It's, you're like everything up to like soundtrack available in the lobby now. Like it's really yes. Has a soundtrack, capital A, capital S. And it really leans on it. It really also likes to do the thing where the soundtrack switches between being diagetic and being not like existing in the world and being applied over the
Starting point is 00:09:27 top of it. And doing the thing. Yeah, exactly, but worse. And the second time it happened with David boys cat people, I was like, this is going to get really aggravating if they keep doing it. And they really keep doing it. Yeah. So she goes to work. MI6 is is drab and suspicious and she walks into the surf from Tinketailer Soul just by a better movie. It gestures at a better movie. We see two guys who I love to see. Yep. One is. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I try love to see. Love to see. They do a great job. The other is John Goodman. We also see. I love to see. Third act we love to see. the villain from Cody Banks too. Yeah. Sure, I guess so. It does play the London calling later on in Itsfini. Yeah, I'm dead.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Yeah, he's in. Yeah, so if you remember, Tinker Taylor's soul just by mostly happened within sort of like sound-proofed briefing room with the acoustic foam on the walls, and it felt very claustrophobic, what we've done is we've lifted that as a narrative, as a framing device, and we've just gone, right, okay, we're going to have you explain what happened in Berlin, in this sort of like sort of airless, quite close briefing room with John Goodman and Toby Jones there, Toby Jones there for some more tinkertail cheap. I don't mind a good like you are being debriefed post the actual events of the movie, sort
Starting point is 00:10:57 of as a framing device. I liked it in annihilation, a great deal. I think it can be done really well. This is like, okay, this is like an okay implementation of it. Yeah. And so also we have C, M, real life equivalent, the head of MI6, on the other side of like a one way glass. Now we know what C stands for.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Fuck yeah. Shit. Yeah. Oh, I got it. She posted that exactly like dead on simultaneous, too, which is really funny. I hope that's lined up even more perfectly in the edit, just like on top of each other. Yeah. So the vibe was, she was sent to Berlin like two weeks ago or whatever.
Starting point is 00:11:43 And the list for a mission impossible, the list of all the secret agents, all the Soviet secret agents, it doesn't really matter. Operating in the West has been leaked. Gascoin had it. Yuri, it's like hidden in his watch. Yuri killed him and stole it. So go to Berlin, find Yuri, find the list. We got some, we got some duff-racing on this too.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Like we find it, code named the list, which is a shit code name for one thing. I just code name it what it is. Yeah, it's code name and me guff it. Yeah, go get a pen code name pen. Fucking get a grip. What are you talking? So so they activate code name projector and they're like, right, check this shit out. Here's here's Yuri Bakhton, right? He's a big dude Russian. Not going to be very important in this out. Here's Yuri Baktan, right? He's a big dude, Russian. Not gonna be very important in this movie. Here's my notes. You get for this.
Starting point is 00:12:28 I wrote, guy I love to see. And then as a moment later, when John Goodman walked in, I wrote, guy I love to see. And then it turned the projector on, and I wrote, guy I hate to see. Guy I hate to see. You gotta see this guy. This is Eddie Marzen playing a cunt, which called a heat method act that for a
Starting point is 00:12:49 number of years. I don't know anything. I don't really don't know anything. I don't know why you guys are so angry. And sort of like an anti-Corban landlord, like Passive Orchoy out tonight, just like whiny. We'll be seeing him again. Very annoying. Toys of presence. We will.
Starting point is 00:13:05 But he's playing this KG, is playing the stars, the officer, who wants to defect to the West and like has brought this, so this is memorized it in his head. And he's like, okay, go to Berlin, meet our man in Berlin, cut to,
Starting point is 00:13:23 well, and then on the projector comes up, sort of like young early career twink well clean cut James McAvoy. I like James McAvoy. I like to see him in a movie. But they cut from his life is currently working. I think it's one thing that no one could take away. currently working. I think he's one thing that no one could take away. So who? I told you about a car. Like, yeah, they cut from the clean cuts, like Twink James McAvoy to James McAvoy in Berlin at, you know, now, where he has gone feral. Yes, it's really good. I like this a lot. I really like this. He's got like close-cropped hair, he's got a beard, he's wearing like a sort of a fur coat
Starting point is 00:14:05 everywhere and like a really rassy fur coat. It looks like he like picked it out of a bin. He's sort of gone like hobo spy. And he has this sort of like coterie of East German punks. He like distributes like jeans and jack Daniels to them in exchange for intelligence. Like a home. King of the actors have a crown. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:28 And this Stalsey Officer Spiglass comes to him to try to defect. And Spiglass... I've got a list of charts in the label. I've memorized it. Yeah. Not to defend the Stalsey, right? We did that whole movie about why you shouldn't do that, the lives of others. But for some reason, the starsy are always the nerd spies.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Like the KGB get to kill people and the starsy whenever they show up in a movie, like, I've been recording your phone calls. And it's the whole police. It's just the chat. Yeah, it's the same thing. Think about fucking the Stalin-Skars guard and Ronan, he was meant to be like ex-Skarsy
Starting point is 00:15:09 and he was a big fucking nerd. He was like, I have a quadruple and cause. And it's like, we fucked it to a mark. We fucked it to a mark. We fucked it to a cocktack. Speaking of Skars guards. There's one in the back of the scene, I'm sorry, no, it's fucking Skars guard.
Starting point is 00:15:22 They keep adding them. I said this when I got back home from Infinity Pool and every year they invent a new scars guard and then gaslight me about it. You don't recognize Marcel Skarsgo, the French Skarsgo. A big name on the billboard and I'm like, who? But this one's Bill Skarsgo, his one I recognize is real. Um, who's he playing? One of the Skarsgard claimants. He's playing, he's like the bartender kind of guy.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Yeah, it's called Mercore as an Angler. And the Hobo King of the youth, he's in charge of the youth wing. Yeah, great. He is. Oh, is he the swindler who comes back later on with the umbrella? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Okay, let on with the umbrella. That's right. That's the way it is. Let's feel Scott's got.
Starting point is 00:16:06 All right. So James McAvoy beats up some cops and then escapes in a cool way. And then he does. Yeah, because Spyglass has memorized the list, he keeps a copy of it in his head. He wants to defect. James McAvoy doesn't want to let him. And then the cop show up, the Fox split side. And James McAvoy has to run, goes, you know, under the wall and escapes
Starting point is 00:16:32 back to the West. The next morning we see him wake up. And of course, he wakes up next to two sexy ladies with their breasts out. These women are props. They do not have names. They are there to make sure that we know he's cool. Sure. Hope they were both. He does. He is tied to the bed, which makes you know that he is like, extra cool and like a rakeish way, right? Which, interesting. And Lorraine, Get Some Plane arrives in Berlin, is met by Russian goons, right? The most obviously Soviet goons who are like, James McAvoy is waiting
Starting point is 00:17:12 in trunk of cart getting. Uh, so she gets in the car and they have quite a pleasant conversation. She's, they're like, yeah, this guy, Mr. Fucking, what's his name? Oh, Christ, British. Ramevich.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Ramevich. Mr. Bravich is like curious to know why you're in Berlin. Here's a card in the next location. The secondist of this movie would like to introduce himself. Yes, here there's Card with secondary location. She takes the card. And at this point, Charlie's the one is like, I'm 20 minutes into this film,
Starting point is 00:17:48 and I am going to put down my application for the Cronstein Rosette. By doing what always wins the Cronstein Rosette, attacking the driver of the vehicle you're in. It's the best thing. It's so good. Every single time that happens, I stand up and clap. I'm like, yes, correct.
Starting point is 00:18:03 That's true. She sees a Porsche in the rearview mirror and she goes, oh shit, that's James McAvoy. Pulls off her heel, starts stabbing the guy next to her with it, starts attacking the guy, driving the car, who was like, what the fuck are you doing? Why are, I am driving the car, this is unsafe.
Starting point is 00:18:21 I'm like, he even says what are you doing? Yeah, he does. He doesn't stop driving back until he asks, what, four or five times, and he says, why are you doing? He does. He doesn't stop. He doesn't be driving back until he asks like, what, like four or five times, and then he's like, why are you doing this? And she crashes the car.
Starting point is 00:18:34 Not. Yeah, she's fucking low. She crashes that car. And you get a safety tip from this, which is if you're in a car that's about to flip, just grab onto the seatbelt with like your hands and you'll be fine. That's right.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Both of those guys are unconscious. So at this point, James McAvoy gets out of his car and I have a thought that is in all capitals with a full stop at the end, which is I'm not non-binary. Let's see. And this is what we in the business like to call a lie. The thing is, right, this is primarily a Coats movie. It cares a great deal about fashion. And it cares a great deal about sort of big long, billowy winter coats. So James McAfee gets out of the car, yeah, who doesn't, me so. And this is kind of why.
Starting point is 00:19:19 James McAfee gets out of his car stalking towards this crashed car with the close-crop hair and the close-crop beard wearing an East German police great coat. He has accumulated and discarded the rest of. He's wearing a fucking sweat of S with nothing else underneath it too., honestly, like, to, you hear him talk a bit after this and I don't know, it's a bit gender, a tiny little bit for me, maybe. I think it's gender. I think I could see it being gender. I think there's gender because I think, you know, impossible to relate to a sort of public schoolboy gone disastrously, fairly wrong, you know?
Starting point is 00:20:04 I mean, I was more looking at Charlize Theron's like incredible pinstripe. I like trousers into boostier, like jumpsuit with the white shirt and then even the red heels are like, damn, that's great, I want that. All of Charlize Theron's femme stuff in this, they're like really pushing it on you
Starting point is 00:20:21 and it's really trying quite hard. And this, exactly, like effortless, which quite hard. And this, yes, exactly. And like effortless, which I liked. And that was that was gender to me. I have a great coat, very similar to that for that reason, it doesn't work on me. Also, I get the urge to shave on my hair occasionally. So he shows up.
Starting point is 00:20:38 I have to invest in her. For her. Yeah, for sure as well. We're learning some things about ourselves. And he pulls her out of the car and she goes, oh yeah, these Russian guys, they just kidnapped me and I had to defend myself with my shoe. They also knew both the vowel names.
Starting point is 00:20:56 So I'm like, my cover is blown immediately. It's like air than worry about it. Yeah, great spy word. That by the way, I've made. Yeah, sure. And he's like, yeah, okay. Yeah, because spy word. By the way, I'm made. Yeah, sure. And he's like, yeah, okay. Yeah, because kind of his vibe and she sees pretty much immediately that this is
Starting point is 00:21:10 like calculated for her is lackadaisical, right? Sort of like, lushe, paratical. I'm so cool, I don't care. Yeah, I don't even care about spying. I'm not even good. I'm just here to have a good time, man, which to be fair, he is, but it does, you know, there's less to this character, which I quite like. So they also kidnapped one of the Russians. He like stuffed him in the trunk of the portion, like drops him off
Starting point is 00:21:35 outside the Soviet embassy to send a message. That's quite fun. Yeah, for sure. And we, he, well, he says send a message to Comrade Bremovich, like saying, yeah, fuck you. And then that nicely sets us up for the next scene where we get to meet Comrade Bremovich, who's interrogating the East German skate punks from the previous scene. Something very funny happens here, which is that one of the unnamed skate punks who's like being knelt down in this like skate arena looks exactly like Glynner. Glynner. Glynner. Go back to what he looks exactly like Graham Linnahann.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Can we make that the, I'll find it. We can make that the episode. Yeah, I know. We're a funny, we're a funny, together Graham Linnahann. Like, despite living in East Germany, it's just that one guy who's like noticeably older and a different shape than everyone else.
Starting point is 00:22:22 They talk everything from me. It's like a linear. So they talk my family. I'm struck by skater, you know, still to be honest. Skater is pretty good. It's like fucking pilot cabin, you know, is like a sleep. Yeah. I've been told things are called.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Yeah, the pilot, the pilot arena. Yeah. Skater. What is it called? What are you doing in a skate, like a fucking quimmy? Oh, it's like a game match. I don't know, rink maybe. I think that's Ista.
Starting point is 00:22:50 What do I do? I don't fucking know. I just make fun of you. Skate part? I don't know. I don't know. I've got a part, it's an open space. They're like under an overpass, whatever.
Starting point is 00:22:58 At this point, the movie does its one thing again. Right here, and if you play an 80's song. Yeah. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. thing again right here if you play an 80s song yeah guy gets beaten to death of the skateboard to 99 Luftballoons because of course he does this is this is hack well this is like one of the teenagers you know this yeah you're well it was like when I was a teenager and I was I tried to like write screenplay is based on the music I thought was cool first
Starting point is 00:23:20 and you know a trotious results that way, you know, just to say that. Chewke folks, musical based on like your playlist. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was fiction, but like I was like, what would be cool to be like, you know, being a company by what I am currently listening to, right? Um, you're right.
Starting point is 00:23:41 So, I'm sure, you're wearing any Marsden, where's the list? I'm pursuing the object. Logging onto Twitter as like a Corbinist in like sort of 2015. Where's Eddie? Yeah, this man is a tracer. Where is he? And we see that, Bremenvitch, he's not really a character. He's got one trait, which is violent. And he gets to do some violence. He like smashes the boom box after he beats a guy to death. The skateboard, Gloner is traumatized, selling him on the path to radicalization
Starting point is 00:24:12 and posting on Twitter. Yeah, that's how it happened. It's our shambles. There you go. At this point, Lorraine has to go and identify Gascoins corpse. Yeah, she does some more ice bullshit at first, though, which where is she getting all of this fucking ice?
Starting point is 00:24:29 She's in my question. That's my question. There's like four buckets of ice. Like, she's going back and forth. She's harvesting the set from Dine other day. But she goes to identify Gascoins corpse and she is photographed going in by a woman on a motorcycle. Now, I've just given quite a... Who's also. The way the film handles this is the motorbike pulls up.
Starting point is 00:24:47 We see the booted foot go down. We pan all the way up this woman's leather-clad leg, ass rotating round tits, take a lot of time, and then we see her face. And it's like, I just imagine if they'd done that to John Goodman. like ass rotating round tits, take a lot of charge, and then we see her face. And it's like, I would just imagine
Starting point is 00:25:08 if they'd done that to John Goodman. They should have. I mean, I agree with you. It is fucked up pieces, but like, if you're gonna do it to someone, you should, everyone in the show should get it. Yeah, yeah. They should have done that to Eddie Marcent, the star.
Starting point is 00:25:19 It's just really noticeable. And I'll keep coming back to this where we'll keep talking about this because I'm talking about you. Speaking of women, you're in a show. This scene contains a woman number three or three in the film. That's true. And maybe this is German pathologists
Starting point is 00:25:35 who is just like your own Germany if you don't make mistakes. The paperwork is fucked. You have to go back and do it again now, please. I'm not sure why I gave her that accent, whatever. That's what everyone is doing. This is what everybody sounds like to me. That's true.
Starting point is 00:25:48 That's true. I could kill you. The paperwork is total out-ske-fucked. It's been the podcast recording, mid-mind-freun. It's the GANSA game-g-changer. So what are the things that have to happen? Sorry, please, carry on. No, so, so what, what is it, is it's going to happen? Sorry, please carry on. No, no, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:26:10 What she's expecting to happen is she goes to pick up the body, her cover is immediately blown. Uh, the East Germans, like, deport her from East Germany and the mission is over. But what she has done is she has like sabotaged the paperwork and because they're Germans, they're like, yeah, is this number is wrong? So I'm not going to process this until it's correct. And so she just gets to stay. And she goes back to the hotel, like, having done this. And is this the point where she gets ambushed by Percival? James McAvoy is in her hotel room and she beats him up, throws him onto the bed and chokes him.
Starting point is 00:26:48 My notes do say mummy, I'm afraid. Yeah, for sure, for sure. But there's a little bit of sexual tension between them, which is unarmed, I think, them specifically. I also want to beat me up. What do you want me to say? At this point, he denies having ever met Eddie Marston. That becomes important nicer.
Starting point is 00:27:08 So she goes to search Gascoins flat. And we hear through the kind of... You immediately fucks her. Yeah. No, not in a non-literal sense. No, no, no. He talks it over. So we hear... She asks a fucks her. We hear in the framing device interrogation
Starting point is 00:27:25 with Toby Jones and John Gannon, that the list doesn't just contain a list of all the Soviet spies, but it will also expose an MI6 double agent, codename Satchel. And I... You epic plot twist. I predicted this flawlessly.
Starting point is 00:27:41 It's easy to me to do it. I simply knew this immediately off. I liked what the film, I actually didn't sit coming because I found the ending of the film very confusing. But so as soon as I said this, a double agent in my head, I was just like, oh, that's James McAvoy because he's the most famous character. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:27:55 I was like, I the show he's the one for the most. Which would be really dumb. Or it's James McAvoy because he's the most famous person in the film. And she also. You felt for sort of like a reasonable, sort of like thing because the first thing they show you after, yeah, there's a double agent called Satya,
Starting point is 00:28:11 is her looking at a portrait of James McAvoy, a photo of James McAvoy with a gas coin, meaning he was lying about not having known him or not having like hung out with him. It wants you to believe that James McAvoy is such a... Yeah, I simply did not. I was like, ah, she's such a okay. I didn't understand why.
Starting point is 00:28:31 But so later on we learned that she's such a, and he's just kind of out of himself. I don't understand why he lied about having met Gasco in there. Why would he do that? Because this is a movie that loves plot twists and does not like going back and checking their work, right? Um, they're already one draft. It's pretty obvious because like the reason
Starting point is 00:28:52 the one thing they give you so you know she's such was she gets in the car with the fucking KGB and the KGB like, your what's up? How's it going? And she only like beats the shit out of them. She sees James McAvoy and immediately activates Sikon once that's beating the shit out of them. She sees James McAvoy and immediately activates Sikon once. That's beating the shit out of them. While they're like,
Starting point is 00:29:08 yo, what the fuck was this for? Oh shit, I didn't think about that. I didn't go back and think about this film. Also, so at this point, the film does the same thing again, which is that she puts on some 80s music and beats up some cops. She kicks them in the balls because women... Uh-huh. This is all done heavily, heavily overdubbed to
Starting point is 00:29:28 father figure, which was apparently not the first choice for that. Like, they wanted another movie for it. It was take my breath away. They wanted to take my breath away from that, which is even hackier. That's the best, yeah. Of course. There's a really obvious Wilhelm scream in there, which is like, yeah. Yeah, there is. Music, meme, bro. Yeah, it's a little bit of an in-joke for like movie, movie guys. People don't know about the Wilhelm scream.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Yeah, that's a bit of joke. The other thing is, she kicks the shit out of these guys, and then we go back to the framing device, and she's like, if I had no nose, I was going to have to kick the shit out of so many guys, I would have worn a different outfit, and it cuts to these two men, and that's all like, gray suits's like, if I had known I was gonna have to kick the shit out and so many guys out of one, a different outfit. And it cuts to these two men and that's all like, gray suits going like, words of outfit, women, girls, women, outfit, sports. To the surface of the world.
Starting point is 00:30:16 The funniest, silliest bullshit in the scene, right at the end, after having beaten up like a good dozen cops all of whom have seen her face. She's going out. The last two cops go, hey, stop. And she pulls her turtle neck up over her face like a ninja mask. I was like, do you have COVID? Yeah, I don't know. So they can get the fucking promo. Yeah. Denker, that's a Corvid Harbour. It's not on the floor. Just like, oh, that's more of a cop saying that.
Starting point is 00:30:56 On the floor, rock hard. Got beaten up by Shelley's Theron and got so hard. All right, Karen, I'm sorry. Not a good bit. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. She goes to see James McAvoy and she's wearing a wire right now just to record the conversation. I've described that list in the history of the new trial. Yeah. Of course, she stands in her lingerie and she puts it on under the lingerie because women she really do be feeding that like wire through under her bra too. It's like remarkably, it's a remark. I just think in an espionage situation, you're not going to want that much lace.
Starting point is 00:31:33 No, I think that's going to be a problem for her. I think it won't help. I call this a wino. It's blatantly exploitative, which it is. So she goes to talk to James McAvoy for a bit and James McAvoy lies to her some more. James McAvoy has a copy of Markeyevelle's The Prince on his bookshelf because this movie thinks it's so clever. Yeah, it has a collection of rare statues. And it's a bit of a... There's only one book called The Prince that you should have on yourself, and it's the one that I read. I was fucking right, and I do.
Starting point is 00:32:09 See, so he goes, oh, can I take your coat, because this is a coat movie, and she goes, sure, believing this is not to be important later, but it will be. So yeah, I'm not. I'm not gonna say it's a satiel on you, but I could probably take, satiel's such a bitch name as well.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Oh, it's just, if I was gonna be given a code name, Satchel, come on. He also gotta be spyglass. That's sick. Yeah, spyglass is kinda, I wouldn't wanna, Nickname was spy in it though. Again, that sort of a code name for list. Yeah, yeah, yeah, code name, Devon.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Oh wow. I mean, really throw them off, your code name is just the list. You know, they'll be looking for a list instead of Deathworth. That's the smart. They're not going to be expected to be a guy. They're going to be thinking it's a list. I was named the watch because that's where the list is headed. Yeah, so they talk some more. It's fucking boring. I don't write anything down because like this movie has like two bright and cells banging off of each other and they're constantly playing like Spotify best of the 80s
Starting point is 00:33:09 at like a 50% volume under it. And it thinks it's so clever because he he quotes Machiavelli and she goes, Necklace Machiavelli. And it's like great, great, great. She's got an interesting pronunciation too. She says she says she says Machiavelli or Machiavelli I think famously Scorsair whatever. At this point at this point she ditches him and she goes to the place. So don't look leisure to deceive the deceiver. You're not Maca Valley. I'm a bit Kevin Bridges. I've never been doubly deceived. I'm a bit quiet.
Starting point is 00:33:45 And I can never be in a nest of spice. This is the thing, right? It tries to do nest of spice, many different actors at once, in a way that is worse than a comedy movie about like a French dude from the 60s. Yeah. They have a budget of white, you know, many millions of dollars for this. Yeah, no, it's not. I'm 30, 40. Yeah, yeah. So the cast directors for 30 million dollars named for women. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Because they don't just for this were women. Jesus. I don't know what went wrong. Like, anyway. I was just like, oh, no, I want to see that. No, I want to see broads. But the broads. Anyway, she goes to a cafe secondary location. Yes. She meets Bremervitch. And Bremervitch is like, how's it going?
Starting point is 00:34:38 Nice, etchle. And they sort of have this conversation. I was talking about working relationship all around me. Yeah. We have met many times over the years. And they sort of have this conversation working relationship already. We have met many times over the years. There is a really fun bit when we're doing the establishing shot. Like Charlize Theron has to walk into this bar
Starting point is 00:34:53 in a beautiful dress, right? So she's not in frame yet. But first, we are on two gorgeous women who are enjoying a drink at the bar together. And we get some great supporting artist acting here, where these two women are talking to each other, and then they run out of things to say. And then you talk, it's really fun to watch. And not knocking them at all. It's a lot of fun being a supporting artist. It's hard work and they do not give you a lot or tell you a lot.
Starting point is 00:35:19 But they just had to carry on for like two or three seconds longer than they thought they were. Oh, that's brutal. Oh. Nobody gets exactly different. Yeah. So, you know, she has this kind of like acted in a movie before you have. All the conversation she has with Bramberidge,
Starting point is 00:35:35 or indeed anyone in this movie is just like saying things that sound ominous but don't really mean anything to each other. So she's like, oh, maybe we should work together for the list. And he's like, maybe, maybe we should. And then they had interrupted by the woman we saw on the motorcycle earlier. This is Delphine La Salle. And she does like a 2017 feminism where she's like, oh, is this guy bothering you? Bestie. You look like you need to rescuing. And she basically like fucks him off. She like removes him from the, his cafe secondary location.
Starting point is 00:36:10 And his leads, which is like really funny to be like just like, like busting into the secret spy around even be like, you know, I was just going bothering you. Do you need help right now? You wanna think that of Angela? Yeah. Yeah, it is such a, like, it's like that kind of, like, feminism. But so... There's something quite funny, which I enjoyed watching this film, which is that this
Starting point is 00:36:36 woman, Delphine, who we'd like to find out where she's from, for intelligence, looks exactly like my Tinder date from the other night, which is quite fun. Oh, congratulations. Yeah, yeah, I did ring it. I was like, ah, it's you again. I mean, she's sort of like, you know, interestingly featured. And I say that not in a derisery way at all, in a very complimentary way. It's got a very striking chin. And I'm just like, okay, so she's trying to stop her. She must have got that when I had mine cut off. I've seen that chin before. Who do you think gave you the chin?
Starting point is 00:37:08 Like the avid thorn lying on the fucking table. No! Yeah, it's a shame. I'm about to get extra buckle fat put on. There's a lot going on. Spanner. The Laura Luma. Yeah. Oh, it's a hamster ass.
Starting point is 00:37:24 When the trend comes back around, everyone will be wanting you to donate it. Yeah. That's right. Sure. This buckle fat is going to increase in value. I'll be the kingmaker. At this point, she needs to get a new contact in East Berlin. My notes say she's just in her lingerie again, randomly. Yeah. Yeah. You got to replace out the microphone and everything.
Starting point is 00:37:46 She goes to East Berlin, Premovich sends some goons to pick her up and she fights the Minister of Mar because of the films for her, please, with itself, including a very cool look in Mongo with a cool haircut. There's a fight where it starts off with the two of them silhouetted against the back of the, like, the projector screen and a better, a better, it's compromising the vision. They didn't do the whole fight like that. They keep cutting in. I wish they just stuck with that wide shot.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Of course, they ended up punching through the, the cinema screen. Naturally. Yeah. There's, there's a couple of things we missed though. She, she, she like goes to this watchmaker, to which I was wasted. And it's just like, I would like once by network, please. He's like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I wrote the John Wickification of cinema here.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Mm-hmm, just like, Percival, Percival has been following her because he had told her earlier when they were flushing that if he was really following her, she wouldn't know. And he also like, he's recording this conversation. He also sees, back he's recording this conversation. He also sees Bucket in, go into this watchmaker and it's like, hey, I have a watch full of, like, the list. I have the watch with the list.
Starting point is 00:38:53 I would like to sell watch. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to code name sell it, please. And it's what makes it like they've set up some code name. Wonger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and codename the watchmaker is like, yeah, okay. I'm fucking up at the word out. Then she goes to East Berlin. Also, the watch is a Kyle F. Buchera,
Starting point is 00:39:13 which is a hysterically drab brand that presumably they paid a lot for because there's a long close up of that name on the dial. And man, or it's a boring watch, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna watch the the spine like Gus Quinn would wear. You know, he'd be blending it. No, these spies are interested in fucking blending in. They're all, they're all in the character.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Yeah, she goes to each side of the main character. We gesture at better movies again. She goes to hide in a cinema that was playing Andrei Tarkovsky's stalker. At this point, I am exhausted watching this. It's confusing, but also boring. I understand it to be the kind of like, oh, lots of different people are after the same thing in the guy Richie Styl.
Starting point is 00:39:57 But would like to ask him, which kind of thing. If he starts to wanted these guys to try and beat you up. That's a great question. And he's just like, he's seen at this point in the movie. Because it doesn't say beat her up. Bremovich just says, yeah, go and bring her to me in a way that you're meant to think is threatening. And then these guys go and chase her. She runs. She kicks the shit out of them. And the whole time she's kicking the shit out of them, all of them are like, what, why, why, why, why
Starting point is 00:40:19 do this? This is like sort of workplace violence. Why do we work together? Like, it's also not clear why she's doing that because like for whom, right, unless she's all by herself. He's not at this point, which he isn't. There's no reason she would kick the shit out of these guys, except for that they wanted to put that in the movie. She stabs the guy in the face with some keys. He has like car keys hanging out of his face and he's presumably like I do I should go to photos of my kids Like long chat over like drinks Do your coffee order like you can't why did you why have you done this to me?
Starting point is 00:41:00 But it's because the movie cares about plot twists and it doesn't want to be consistent done this to me, but it's because the movie cares about plot twists and it doesn't want to be consistent. It's cool, I think. You go as a meat son, you contact, is this the star's guard twink? Yeah, this is the real twink. This is like, he's Germany is about to collapse. And you know, I'm hidden. This guy's like Lawrence Fishburn in John Wick 2 if instead of Hobo's was.
Starting point is 00:41:23 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, fishburn in John Wick 2 if instead of Hobo's was every guy's on proof. No, I'm sure. It's, it's, he's that guy if instead of Hobo's it was like ravers. He's like the king of the ravers. He's the, he's the like king of the blue. Yeah, yeah, he's king. That's literally his thing. I know, I know Burkine is in John Wick 4, but he's kind of if you put Burkine in the
Starting point is 00:41:43 John Wick thing back one movie. Burkine is it John. Bur, but he's kind of if you put Burkine in the John Wick thing back one movie. Burkine is in John Wick 4. Burkine whole-booking. The saddest shot is like the museum. You know, you don't think that a rave a king protects his rave a crown John. So this is where she goes back to the club and meets Delphine. This is where we get straight girls kissing. Straight girls kissing.
Starting point is 00:42:08 This is absolutely straight girls kissing because you know that one meme where it's like straight women and it's a women kissing each other with tongues and it's like gay women who are into each other and it's like, I don't know, whatever, hitting each other with hammers, working on an engine together. The first lesbian thing that she does is pull a gun on this woman. That's the first thing that got me like, I don't know, okay.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Yeah, so they, they're like making it on the toilet. I quote, she pulls a gun on a dolphin. And dolphins like, I know you're understaffed. They're like kissing and kissing and kissing and I'm like, this does nothing for me. She pulls a gun on her,ine's like, I know you're under attack. They're like kissing and kissing and kissing and I'm like, the sleeve does nothing for me. She pulls a gun on her, she's like, I'm like, let's go. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:50 For like half a second, I was like, oh, this seems about to get a lot more interesting actually. And then I was like, oh, wait, no, we're doing spice. Oh, okay. I wrote down an all caps. It's a not exploitation if I think it's hot. But yeah, the thing is this is a kind of like, the concept.
Starting point is 00:43:06 This is a lesbian dynamic that like it's fem for fem with a clear top bottom dynamic, which means it's very legible on a track of just straight men. Yes. Yes. It's like I'm not saying it's not a thing that doesn't exist in real life
Starting point is 00:43:19 because it clearly does and it rules, right? But like it's also something that is frequently presented as it is here as a male sexual fantasy, right? But like, it's also something that is frequently presented as it is here as a male sexual fantasy, right? It's like, I'm fucking making out with each other, dude. Yeah, so she's French intelligence and she's scared. It's like, I'm on my first mission. And, uh.
Starting point is 00:43:35 That's another thing, another interesting dynamic, because she's a baby, which makes Lorraine in my reckoning a spy nont, because this woman goes like, yeah, I'm like, kind of in over. Like, I'm in over my head. It's my first day I'm scared. I'm like, O.S.S.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Two billion. This is me to be further. It's just like, oh, yeah. My shoes are untied. And there's a rock in one of them. Crying in the club, my shoel a rocking one. I'm crying in the club. My shoelaces are loose. I trip over.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Everyone's like, I've got like pants going loose. It's a guessy. And like, please, my wet. I'm like over front of this, like the mongo. He's like, got the keys in his fist, ready to punch me. I'm just like, openly weeping.
Starting point is 00:44:22 It's a girl. Yeah, and Shirley's Theron is like, shh, baby, it's okay, it's okay. Just come back to my hotel room. Yeah, she said we should groom this one. We should team up because somebody's obviously killing Allied officers with a kill gas coin. Charlize Theron's just like, no, I work alone,
Starting point is 00:44:38 you're in over your head, but I will fuck you. And mine would say, in fairness, this is hot, but it's also very male gaze. And I think you're very right, Alice, it's very like, it's clear, top and bottom dynamic. It's like, there's no question in the mind of the straight cis male viewer who wears the strap here. No, no, I mean, Delphine gets shoved against the wall like face first. And I'm like, again, this is also, yeah, there's no exploitation of my life. I did write an average Berlin bedroom just in reference, because it's not exploitation of online. I did write an average Berlin bedroom,
Starting point is 00:45:05 just in reference, because it's just all bisexual lighting. It's fucking, they do so much bisexual lighting. They do so much bisexual lighting. I thought I was watching a video essay. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, if you are gonna have lesbian sex, you do kinda need that. It's good.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Yeah, so, we, we, first of all, like, surveils this watchmaker. And so, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we,
Starting point is 00:45:26 we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we again, and he's like, yeah, so it turns out you've been in Berlin for like a week and all you've accomplished is fucking one French woman. Which you do have a job, right? So we are going to give you a kick up the ass to do this. What they do is they send John Goodman, CIA John Goodman, who I should mention at the start when he's in the briefing room, she like kicks up a fuss about because she's like, I want this to be like, am I sick? So only this guy's the fuck to see how you're doing in here.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah, for sure. And at that point, I said, she works with the CIA. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't see this one going actually. No, I did. I genuinely didn't see this one. The last time I was like, I saw this plot twist coming, you did not see this plot twist coming,
Starting point is 00:46:22 but on God, I saw both the plot twists in a atomic blonde coming when I saw it in theaters. Right, Alice Watch is a fucking movie and it turns it off five minutes in, but like figured out. Yeah, pretty much. You like, please, as a sample of your Chris Fender potato snacks, no need, I've already imagined the flip.
Starting point is 00:46:41 She's just like, she's like, she's like, G-P-T, who wrested the dialogue. Yeah, yeah. We have to be able to get that from first principles. Because she goes to see Joan Goodman and her affect towards him is completely different. She calls him sir, he is like, quite caring towards her. But he also threatens Delphine.
Starting point is 00:46:59 And he's like, yeah, if you, you gotta like do some work because East Germany is about to become Germany again. So you can't suspend all of your time having hot lesbian sex in a series of women. You have to write the next episode of Philosophy Cheap at some point. Yeah, many ways I'm the John Goodman of this podcast
Starting point is 00:47:19 that we need to record the episode. You have to stop having hot lesbian sex. Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. You need to record the episode. You have to stop having hot lesbian sex. Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. You need to work. Um, James McAvoy kills codename. You're a back to him and takes the codename watch with the codename. Yeah, there is one thing I like about this, which is when
Starting point is 00:47:35 you're like, is about to kill him. We see that he is deployed. He reuses his lines. He's got like one line, which is, you're not as, maybe you're not as good at this. By shit as you think. And he is about to like deploy that on James McAvoy when he is killed.
Starting point is 00:47:52 Here's my question. On my face, is that a good, cool choice to show that this guy's lame and he reuses his lines? I think it's good. I really like that. Is that a mistake? Because the screenwriter's. Yeah, that's good to be on purpose and I really, I like it.
Starting point is 00:48:06 I like it. It's definitely changed to be on purpose and I like it. He's using bits to guys who's about to kill because who are they going to tell? I think it's smart. But he takes the list. So Joe's like if I kills him and he goes, Satchel.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Yeah. Read the list, calls Charlize Theron, who is of course putting a microphone in her bashst breasts again. She do anything else like. Hey, she's pulling the microphone from her breasts and be like, damn, someone's trying to trick me, our own and James, my cause and she's like, well, obviously it'll be you then. So they're gonna get Eddie Marsden across the border to West Berlin. And so they say, oh yeah, this guy, you can marry a GI, but obviously you've got to have sex with your family. First, it like cribs bits from headwig in ways that it also shit like genuinely. There's like one, there's one shot where she's like against like a broken mirror where it's like,
Starting point is 00:49:01 ah, double agent, double identity, I'm like, fuck off. And in the fucking, like, there's also shit that's happening in this movie, man. So Toby Jones in the briefing is like, James McAvoy called me and said, you're such a, actually, and she's like, that's because he was such a, I'm like, okay. But that's the best thing. He didn't even say that.
Starting point is 00:49:19 He just said, I have information that will lead to the arrest of such a, like he was sort of knowingly, uselessly mysterious about this enough to sort of like allow for plausible deniability. He just called him and went like, I am very close to Satyul without saying, which is great. We also see James Magovoy meeting Bremovitch and offering a deal. In sort of like an out for his, it's photographed by Delphine. Just, yeah, again, it's very, it's like a mess at this point, but he's like out for himself
Starting point is 00:49:52 and he's like, yeah, I can sell you some information from the list which I have. Um, so he is a tracer, but he's not sad. There is something that happens around this point of the film that I do quite like, which is that in the briefing, uh, Lorraine denies having had any feelings for Delphine, she's like, no, didn't care, just shagging her. And we see as they're embedded together that this may not quite be true, and that like, there's a risk to Delphine here she may die, and this may hurt Charlize Theron's feelings. I do like that the film asks us to be emotionally invested in a lesbian relationship, to the same extent that we would have this was a
Starting point is 00:50:24 straight relationship. It's nice that we would have if this was a straight relationship. It's nice that we don't, oh no, like what if the main character's a sad because they lose somebody that they have feelings for and it's just like, incidentally that's gay? I do not like that. What's nice? When Delphine dies, I will talk about,
Starting point is 00:50:37 because you know, that's not true. She died? Yeah. They killed this one. Yeah, when they killed Delphine, I also thought that's another one. Oh yeah, oh, I also got some of the potential that this has. That's not long coming. You can set your watch back.
Starting point is 00:50:49 So, maybe we have to go and see the encode name set by that. Have to go to East Berlin to extract Eddie Marston, who has a copy of the lid and his earlest in his head, with a corsia's. The second Eddie Marston sees Lorraine. He's like, oh, shit, that's fucking satchel. Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. And she's like, no, I'm not going to kill you. Don't worry about it. So I was still operating at this point under the assumption that James McIvoy is such a... Oh, me too. And I was just like,
Starting point is 00:51:22 okay, yeah, I was. So I was wondering, okay, why doesn't Eddie Marson just immediately tell her, Yo, that's James McAvoy, he was an X-Menly such a... That's not an X-Menly. He's got a point from fucking next. And I was just asking myself this, when James McAvoy brings Eddie Marsden's family in and I was like, oh, that's why he doesn't tell them.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Because he's got his family. I feel like... Crispin potato snacks on this one. I'm like, no, he's literally, he's looking at, he's terrified. He's like, ah, fuck, did a nice satchel. And she's like, yeah, I'm not gonna kill you, fuck off. So the mission is, I'm sorry, I just put it together fast enough.
Starting point is 00:51:56 I got to put it in a swift after this, but. I get so, so if she's satchel, then why does James McAvoy shoot Eddie Marston in the next scene? I feel like I'm my mum at this point. I'm just feeling like, how can I, if she's such a, then why does James McAvoy shoot Eddie Marston in the next scene? I feel like I'm my mum at this point. I'm just being like, how can I be like that? So why did he kill him? Aren't they? Because he made a deal with Ramavitch for like in return for information from the list,
Starting point is 00:52:20 like he would kill Spying Glass. Oh, sure. Because he's a traitor. I'm watching the show. I'm watching the show. I'm watching he's a traitor. When the show-on does that, I was standing up and inexplicably closing all the curtains in the house, I must have missed that. So, like, talking to my sister in law,
Starting point is 00:52:36 20 minutes in the film, what's going on? She's going to make a voice. Like, I don't even find that for a very extended period. She sets the map, pause it. He sets the map, they tries to kill be trying that for a very extended period to pause it. He said he said he said to them out, they tries to like kill Eddie Martin with a sniper who like wings him, but then Udo,
Starting point is 00:52:52 scars guard saves the day by having all of the like youth who are protesting against the wall, which is about to come down, but up on brellers to save them. And then James McAvoy shoots him. She's yeah, James McAvoy shoots him. Yeah, James McAvoy shoots him. Why? Then we have a fucking fight scene. Actually, I like this.
Starting point is 00:53:09 You know, this is the only fight scene where everyone involved is 100% committed to it. Because every other fight scene, everyone's been like, why are you hitting me? To Shelley? Yes. Yeah. And it's really good. They've sold out, well, why would the KGB knowingly sell out their own double agent statue for some information when they could have all of it from her?
Starting point is 00:53:33 Every single character in this movie's motivation is just like, damn, it's a nest of spies here in Berlin, everyone man for themselves says a lot about society. And it's like, stop. Stop, stop, stop. I mean, it's a chart of it. Who's got a plan? What? And it's like, stop. Stop, somebody are charging it. Who's got a plan? What? They're all just vibing.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Every one of them is just doing banter. Mongo's here. Do you guys run over? We get like a, yeah, we got a long, long, long fight scene. Nothing this movie loves more than someone who is like trying to continue to fight, but has been injured so badly, they keep getting up and falling back down again. The fight choreography was assisted by fucking chumbo-wambonism.
Starting point is 00:54:11 It's been a few times this happens. 18's music. They should have been playing that shit, man. This is all made to look like one uncut shot. It's actually not, you can save the joints, but technically impressive actually. It's good for choreography. I like that they get, a woman is getting to do the heavy fight scenes.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Yeah, that's cool. I do like that too. She does just board. And the time when they do it, they're not fetishizing it. They only fetishize it afterwards when she's injured and they're like, oh, check out Charlize Theron's bruised body.
Starting point is 00:54:44 And it's like, yeah, because it's bad. But it meant to be like, oh, she's injured and they're like, oh, check out Charlize Theron's bruised body. And it's like, oh, yeah. Because it's bad. You meant to be like, oh, she's vulnerable now. Like, I could probably beat her actually. And it's like, that's a weird thing to say, I'm sure. It's a movie that is best watched by watching the fight scenes in isolation on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Yeah, that's why you use it on this. That's why you use it on this. Yeah. We also get some more feminism, which is the big guy, the other big blonde Earth Car keys, she like kills, well, she almost kills him. She's like laser kills him by running him over. She stabs him. He calls her a sulca, right? He calls her a bitch. Although, that's, you know, my understanding more generally Coaches male and Russian, whatever. Anyway, he calls her a bitch. She stabs the shit out of his face and neck with a corkscrew and says, I'm on your bitch now! It's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Cool. Great. This feels exploitative to me. Like, ladies can do horrifying violence too. Check this shit out. Isn't this progressive? And it's like, yeah, of course. Like, we all love ladies doing horrifying violence to us, but like, it's so pleased with itself. It's so like, check this shit out. It's James Bond for girls.
Starting point is 00:55:55 It's girl James Bond. Yeah, this is the thing. It's like, again, not to lay all of this at the foot of the director, but I do wonder what this movie looked like in the parallel universe where it was directed by a woman. That's true, but I think it was like a lot of it's the script. Yes, true. So that's the script. In my opinion.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Coming from a graphic novel, I'm actually getting it. I wonder what would have happened if like somebody had said, well, does John Goodman and Kirby Jones and C and this Mongo and Bremovich, do they all have to be men? Can we have some women in it? You know, just being here, just James McIvoy's character have to be, just like our men. It's interesting.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Like half of all people sort of generally are women. I've found more than actually, if you look at us, this is so. It's in general. So if you're a gay, if you're a gay, it's the other cast, you know? That's right.
Starting point is 00:56:41 Listen, as you may know a woman, you may be a woman. Wow, interesting. I'm hearing this. He's not supposed to. Wait for a bit on how the vox, but it's like, great code. So, Eddie Marston has been like, he's been around in the midst of all of this. And he's like, yeah, I still have been shot. He does literally find a health kit, which is funny.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Yeah, that's right. So, they steal a car. He finds a little like a first aid kit and it very much looks like he's just like run over that in the first person's shoes. Yeah, he eats like a chicken bone and regains some health. Yeah, yeah, the warfenstein full chicken dinner on the ground. He likes to pauses, eats five wheels of cheese and some like, nameless steak like this. He's like consuming every healing item in his inventory. You like to hear the like,
Starting point is 00:57:29 stimpac sound from fucking full up. That's it. And all for nothing, all for nothing, because moments later, that they get hit by a car, and they get knocked into the river spray. And he, oh no, his leg, his leg is trapped in Eddie Marston's gonna die. He's gonna he, oh no, his leg, his leg is trapped in Eddie Martens going to
Starting point is 00:57:45 die. He's going to die and we, you know, we regret emotionally invested in that. He drowns Jason Bourne style. Yeah, he gets the hot girl bond death, which is really funny. Like he, he goes out like a vestballin, which is so surely they're, like, reluctantly surfaces and like swims to shore and is like, I'm gonna name a cocktail after Eddie Mars. It's fucking a trash. It's gonna be horrific, just using a discontinued shirt for fun. And they really like a fucked up Charlies Theron. She's like bruised and battered and shit like this. Yeah, more so I feel than a male protagonist
Starting point is 00:58:26 in a similar film. Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, like, sort of his escape from Moscow is the closest, sort of like scene that we've seen like this. I know Craig gets me up sometimes. It's never to this extent in Bond. No, no. It's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:43 But so she's in trouble, because Spyglass's family have escaped Spyglass is dead. And John Goodman is there laying it on a little heavily, like mispronouncing her name as Browthson to James McAvoy. So trying to like throw off suspicion, is like, are you think she's satchel? And James McAvoy goes, oh, well, you know, women love to be satchel.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Um, into what you said, it's like one possible for me to say at this moment, where she's satchel, just, yeah. It was a movie. Yeah. Lorraine, Lorraine realizes that James McAvoy placed a bug in her coat earlier on, right? But he used a French bug to try and set up Delphine.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Mm-hmm. So again, I'm my mom. I was eating a chocolate at this point. Why, if James Markleboy isn't satchel, why does he try to kill Delphine? Because she's going to expose his like corrupt dealings with the list because she does the dumbest spy thing in this movie, which is to call him up on the phone
Starting point is 00:59:44 and be like, I have information that will lead to your arrest. She does. She does, yes. Here's what happens here. Oh, god, I need to put up a list of names. Charlie's the wrong, finds the bug, knows of it, it's French and says to... Yeah, but they have a woman that's in it.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Delphine, I've seen her here on the IMTV page also, and goes, he's trying to set us both up, don't do anything stupid, and Delphine goes... She does something stupid. Well, I'm afraid it's the start of the third act of the movie, so we need to demonstrate the sort of the danger you're in by having someone die. So it's time for me to email James McVoy and be like, yeah, I am at this location. Please, for you. I will be walking around in my underwear with headphones on. In my underwear. I hate it. I actually don't. Not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not. So, I mean, like again, a better script would have had ways to like make this more interesting, like you could have had her panic, right?
Starting point is 01:00:50 But she doesn't. She fully just like, she puts the photos of James McAvoy doing the like double dealing in an envelope that says after I get killed, open. And then sort of wanders around like putting her back to sort of like dark corners until James McAvoy jumps out and tries to garot her. And we get a pretty horrible, sadistic, cynical, death scene where you can feel the movie justifying itself by being like, oh, she managed to stab him a bit. So, you know, go boss.
Starting point is 01:01:22 And it's like, no, no, the sucks. No, you're fricking in this broad just to show that like, it's dangerous. Great. Yeah. Honestly, it would have been better if Charlize, the Ron had just turned up at the flat and found the corpse. And we didn't get the scene of this woman being strangled on a bed in her underwear with like, she's like bent over the bed. And James Wack was like behind her, like on top of her. Yeah. It's just like it is grim. 2017.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Right. A script, right. A script of movie next time. Can't she sort of gets there right after he escapes and finds Delphine dead and also finds the like plot envelope. And at this point, I go. There's there's potential here. There's interesting potential here. There's interesting potential here, right?
Starting point is 01:02:06 If you wanna sell me on what if the James Bond thing of well James, it seems you've gotten yet another woman killed in your pursuit of the mission because you regard these women as disposable, but they're both women. That's interesting. I would be interested to know about the interior repercussions of that. I would be interested to know about the sort of like interior repercussions of that. I would be interested to know. And you know what, there's this thing in script
Starting point is 01:02:28 pricing where you can kind of like convey what a character might be feeling or thinking by way of their actions, right? You know, it just happens through this process called acting. It's very much like the opposite of the Van Helsing School of Screenwriting where the characters just announce their super objectives. Yeah, but apparently we decided just not to do any of that because what we did was we treated this and I think this is interesting in its own way. We treated this the way a Connery movie treated seems like it seems like fucks up and killed another woman which is I leave. I go to the next location. I look a bit sad from it. And like, well, that's crazy. Anyway, easy come, easy go.
Starting point is 01:03:08 This is where is James McAvoy? Yeah. And it's like, she's, she's a bit sad. And that's it. And it's like, my note here says, spies are always setting up photographic dark rooms. It's not that easy. No, she's not in ventilation in there. She cost me a lot of money to set up a photo. It's not even dark. She's got even darker. She's got a 35-minute-liter enlarger.
Starting point is 01:03:33 What are you? What are you calling that around with you? But so, the war is coming down. For a reason, you're not spits. It's hard. The war is coming down. It's on the TV as well. It's cribbing again from headwork. You know, the Germans are a patient people.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Like those who wait. Yeah, if you put like news, it's like, it's sort of like important news coverage voice over music, that makes it cool. And it tells you the same thing. Yeah, we had mentioned it, but every like 10 minutes in this film, we got something from the Exposition News Network, which is just like,
Starting point is 01:04:07 E-N-N, the Berlin Wall is coming down. The ticking clock of this movie is the Berlin Wall that will be coming down in the next three scenes. It's like, right, okay. So, so, so, so, so, so? Yeah, it's a realistic choice obviously to have him break the fourth wall in such a manner And and I mean to say I think it doesn't work and his shit. I think it's a fact and We're sort of like revealed that he is talking to Lorraine who is holding him at gunpoint Yeah, maybe try to say something about like the nature of spying and espionage I think that was kind of implied by the rest of the film.
Starting point is 01:04:47 You didn't need to have James McAvoy's stop and look at the audience. Yeah, yeah, I, I, the thing is, I want to try to say is damn that's crazy. And it's like, no, you made all of these guys be crazy. Yeah, they're not scripted. That's not really a theme in the PitchDoc themes down, that's crazy. Yeah. The themes, the themes.text are, Who won? Who won? What was the fucking game anyway? And the thing is, right, in the big potential column, I'm rising down. I like personal as a character.
Starting point is 01:05:19 I think he has sort of layers. I like that he is just, he goes out, he is of course shot by Lorraine with the sort of thing of like, yeah, all of this was crazy. I fucking loved it though. You know, and that's the thing that's like, I have a weakness for when characters have self-knowledge like that. I enjoyed it in a sort of like a dark away in the end of the lives of others where he's like, it's for me. I enjoyed it and the end of fucking breaking bad. I like it when characters are just like, no, I enjoyed this. I enjoyed being this.
Starting point is 01:05:53 And I, you know, it was good. I like the sort of like... To make more... She like, field expedient torture. She gets the watch off of him. And he is killed. And, well, before he he's killed she like explains her plan to him which is like I'm gonna fit you up as satchel is like cool okay you got my ass with the macchi a valley you know damn I thought I was the macchi a valley but turns out it's actually you a whole time all along you with were the Nicola Machiavelli of this movie.
Starting point is 01:06:26 You were the Nicholas Macvelli. Yeah, you were the Nicholas Maclovich, you were the Mac or more of this movie. She looks like, and she goes, I'm a tonic blonde, and everyone's like, wow, damn, I'm Mac or more. So, this point, the film is like trying to, like several plot twists collide with each other
Starting point is 01:06:45 is that I try to get through the door of the movie. So we've now finished the kind of briefing and we're into sort of present day time was caught up with itself. She's like, to be young, you were really waiting in Captain America, but I don't feel bad about killing James McAvoy who was in the asking of Scotland. I really love it. We've seen photos and a recording of James McAvoy appearing to look like Satchel. Yeah, it was recorded through my tits and then I edited it to make him
Starting point is 01:07:10 sound guilty, which was very easy. He is a fucking problem, right? At this point, what the film should do is it because like she's edited this to make him look guilty, right? So what it should do is it should show us some dialogue from James McAvoy that we've seen and then show us it as she's edited it, so we know it's out of context. What has happened here is that there is clearly a scene that has taken place between Charlies Theron and James McAvoy, which has been cut.
Starting point is 01:07:35 So the dialogue that we hear from James McAvoy is dialogue that we have never heard before, including him slagging off C, his boss, and we're like, what have been really like? I know what C stands for. It would have been really good if we had heard that previously, but you should be fucking that. And that one's a good name.
Starting point is 01:07:53 It's not a very cool old house. So instead it's just like, oh, she's done a thing that we haven't seen before. She just did it off-screen. And that's how I could see it. Yeah, mine my favorite script writing tool, I fixed it. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:04 So it's cool. It's like, So it's good. So it's cool. So it's hoping Jones is like, it was actually easy. It was actually easy. Jones is like, I can't make sense of this film. Fuck. I'm dealing with it now. Fuck off, really.
Starting point is 01:08:13 Like leaving the film now. Took me to fucking like, yeah, it looked like James McVoy was evil. Because he has not at any point said anything concrete. It's just, would she wash his shit from the fucking get-go? Very easy then. And then because all of the dialogue in this movie is just like, it's just wish he was, he's sheer from the fucking get-go. Very easy then.
Starting point is 01:08:25 Because all of the dialogue in this movie is just like, it's like, important as if that's a word. He's talking too satchel and he keeps just being like, oh, I know who's satchel is, he's someone very close to me, that kind of shit. It's like, it's just you and satchel in the room, you can drop the pretence. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:08:43 shoot him with a gun. And remember that for the first thing. Just shoot him with a gun. room, you can drop the pretence here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, end the spy movie on. Unfortunately, much like Ronan and much like one of my criticisms of Ronan, we can't let that lie, right? We have to go actually all along. It's spying still important. It's still justified. We still need to do it because. It's made a tonic thought to atomic Boogellouc. Yeah. Also, we get London calling by the clash because of course, London. Yeah, three days later in Paris, the land has, has like put on a brown wig. She goes to meet Bremevic and she's like, I'm fucking satchel. I was like, what was all the time? What was that about?
Starting point is 01:09:39 I'm coming. Yeah, why did you stab my boy with this? Why did you put what you love, Bremevic in this scene? Because he's meeting Charlize Vitch in this scene? Because he's meeting Charlize Theron in this hotel room in like, where the villains, we've won. Brother Vitch has the most I'm about to get my dick
Starting point is 01:09:52 searched by Charlize Theron expression on his face that it is possible for a man to have. But I'm like, Dap, this is a man who's like four head uncle percentage is a 10,000% of her. Yeah. Approaching the density of a neutron star in the hardness of this man's penis.
Starting point is 01:10:09 And she goes, I thought you were going to have me killed. And again, in what would have been an interesting ending, he's like, oh, yeah, about that. I have four guys wasting outside in like rubber gloves with a top, which they're going to spread out on the floor. And I'm like, oh, cool, this is an interesting date. Been there. It's been there, don't you? Yeah, one of them is like, yeah, you know,
Starting point is 01:10:30 like B-professional goes stand on the plastic. I think that's really good. I think that's really good. I think that's really good. Like, again, been there. Nice one, nice that one. Yeah, it's fun, you know. But of course, she fucking, she kills us.
Starting point is 01:10:42 She doesn't get like an interesting, long good Friday ending, it's like yeah all of this was was for nothing and also you have now been killed like you kept saying You were going to you want to know how I would fucking changes movie absolutely nothing but cut when that guy goes Be a good girl and get on the top just cut that yeah Yeah, and then you can do If you want you can come back and have the fight scene You can do you know just'm like, if you want, you can come back and have the fight seen. You can do, you know, as like cut, like, you know, we begin the next film as soon as they'll begin it in media res. It would be good.
Starting point is 01:11:10 It would be fine, but instead it's just like, it just feels unnecessary. It feels like shit. I like, yeah, shit. Shit. The end of the long good Friday, a better movie is what I'm thinking about this whole time, but no, she kills all these guys. She kills Brownvitch and Brownvitch is doing the thing where he's like trying to get up and like he's too injured and he's falling down again.
Starting point is 01:11:28 He's like bleeding out of his neck. And she's like, I'm gonna explain the plot of the movie to you. You think I'm satchel. You think I'm satchel? I was actually like reverse double ultra satchel because I was feeding you false information which led to the fall of the Berlin
Starting point is 01:11:45 war. I was winning the Cold War because all of this was like useful after all. Oh, is that what you said? I know the kind of fucking word she said. Yeah, yeah. She was like feeding them false information, getting information in return, and as a result, the Soviet Union has collapsed, or, you know, his Germany has collapsed in the Soviet Union, it's about to follow heavily implied because of her. I mean, at this point, she has taken the brown wig off and is speaking with an American accent. So I'm just like, I think I have COVID.
Starting point is 01:12:11 Yeah. Yeah. And so she, she like goes, takes off the wig, and Merkel is there to go clean up after her. And we see that like, because, and this is a thing that I like, this is in the big potential column. She's CIA, the watchmaker guy CIA.
Starting point is 01:12:31 The John Goodman is there to pick her up because she's been working for the CIA the whole time. And I like that geopolitically Britain has a joke in this and like a sort of an opportunity to exploit because like there's, you there's real countries working there's America which has like everything like set up around this and the Soviet Union and then Britain's this like shit country for pricks that is their sort of like way in. I like to ask you about a gentle all the time and now just had the movie explain to me in real time. I now like this I think it's a a good idea. It should be like the thing in it's a bit like the thing in breach where you see that the you know the FBI were constructing Robert Hanson's office around them. I like that sort
Starting point is 01:13:12 of like exercise of secret power of being like, yeah, the whole thing's been us the whole time. I like that. It is American self-mythology and the self-myth mythology of this is like, it's very funny to go Britain, dead empire, shit country for pricks, nothing works, and now all of its servants are sort of like out for themselves because there's no like co-hearing anything there. This will never happen to us, the United States of America. It's going to be a real country forever. Looks at watch. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's sort of like, country forever. Looks at watch. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, uh, absolutely. Uh, it's, it's sort of like, it's time to take this list with a win.
Starting point is 01:13:49 Do you think it like, and it'll happen to you? Yes. Yeah, exactly. Like, he, he sort of like, takes the watch with the list and it's like, this is gonna win the Cold War. We're gonna fly back to Langley. Uh, why did you call me a cocksucker? And I got a very clean drop of John Goodman saying,
Starting point is 01:14:06 cocksucker. And she says, I'm glad I was convincing. Cut to black and I hear the 9-11 sound effect that ends the movie Charlie Wilson's war. Like, it's just so good, man. Atomic blondes. Atomic blondes. Atomic blondes.
Starting point is 01:14:24 I had potential. It had potential. I don't make blonde. I don't make blonde. I'm a movie. It had potential. It had potential. It had a lot of people waiting for your heart on. It's for the good. A film that is less than the sum of its parts. A cure at the egg. I love it when a movie ends by going, none of that mattered.
Starting point is 01:14:37 And I go, well, it was an hour and a half of my life. I paid for it. And it's the year of yours. What are you? What? It wasn't even the number of answers. They don't have the courage to commit to nothing. No, they don't.
Starting point is 01:14:49 They actually did matter it. It brought down the Soviet Union. At the end of it, it was like America. This is how we won the Cold War. This is what it is. And it's like, OK. Why does it have to happen? This is why the fucking years are so much.
Starting point is 01:15:03 It's the same way the light is set up at Templehof. Yeah. This is why, fucking you are like a temple off This this is why like it the same way that Ronin bottles it at the end by being like I was actually still working for the CIA Is because the idea of like oh none of this method and we just did all of this shit for no reason is true and the fact that they're continued to be new things the fact that you know some of the things that we did in Furtherance of the Cold War caused those things. That's too hard. We can't do that one. So instead we have to be like, no, it is one unbroken line from Cold War to next thing. And the spying has always been justified. It's a fine piece of intelligence services mythologizing. The Bond movies do it too. Pretty much every spy movie does it unless you're looking at like, you know,
Starting point is 01:15:48 really, really depressing ones. And it's just, I don't know, it makes, it's infuriating, because it's a historical. And it's like a way to retroactively whitewash and justify all the shit we did in the Cold War. It's to be like, oh, that was fun. Now it's over. It had no impact on anything that's going to happen.
Starting point is 01:16:08 Anti-Soviet warrior puts his army on the road to peace. Yeah, and then history ended. So good news, everyone. Yes, that was nice. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a sort of central, like, myth of society, isn't it, which is that law enforcement and intelligence services act for a reason Like even if that reason is obscured or why I'd like multiple layers of shit
Starting point is 01:16:29 But there's always like, you know, some kind of justifying plan. It's never just people just doing that violence fucking randomly And it's like I don't know how many times you have to keep telling ourselves that myth How many times do we have to, you know, see police engaging in some random act of fucking violence against somebody who was walking home before we just go, you know what, maybe that's not true. Maybe we should have polished them that. Maybe we should have polished fucking making shit movies. Maybe we should fucking do that. Maybe we should make it so that you have to run the movie
Starting point is 01:16:54 by ours before you can release it. I think this is the first time that I've liked a movie less after we've spoken about it. Because watching it, I was just like, oh, okay, it's gone. All right, it's all right. Some places are displeanting another's in there. I'm just like, oh, okay, it's gone, all right, all right, it's all right, some places just pointing another synonym, just like, ah, I'm offended, but I mean,
Starting point is 01:17:08 it's not like that, it's sad. It's just like, the thing is, that you have bad movies that are like fine to watch, you can watch a bad movie, but the real sad thing is watching a movie that could have been good. And only highlights how bad it's become, by like the potential that it had. And sadly, that is, I'm like fucking blonde.
Starting point is 01:17:26 We did it. TV show, which is also a piece of that niche, but I can't mention because... Yeah, I mean, I'm like... This is why I like a spy movie that like really will embrace either nihilism or surrealism. I want to watch a most wanted man at some point. I want to watch burn after reading at at some point. I want to watch burn after reading at some point. There are a few things like this that are worth talking about, but this is in the sort of like the broader canon of spy movies
Starting point is 01:17:52 where we're like, no, it made sense. It made sense. We made it make sense for you. Please continue to like us and think we're cool. We've got 80s Spotify music and we're working on a sequel., I mean I do think one thing I will say is like From some Charlize the run I don't think any of the acting in this is I don't think the fault lies with any of the actors particularly No, you know great everyone Casting maybe yeah, yeah, everybody put in good solid work And it's sadly less than a sum of its parts, but we have a science-based we we script
Starting point is 01:18:24 Mm-hmm science-based system called the Scum System. I would like to. Yeah, well, then, then, then, then, then. Yeah, and absolutely choose to. This is a main line episode, we should scum it. The Scum System for SMAM, Cultural Incentitivity Unprovoked Violence and Misogyny. How SMAMI is this movie and why is the answer very?
Starting point is 01:18:41 It's so fucking pleased with itself. I decided this show was gonna get a 10 on smart when they were doing the fucking car chase and the song is just like, you've got to run away. Well, some shit like this. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, fuck off, all right. Is this the smartest movie you've ever seen?
Starting point is 01:18:58 It's definitely the most pleased with itself. Yeah. But, yeah, I could give it a 10. It might be. 10 out of 7. Yeah. It's sort of like it's in the ways that a guy Richie movie is smarmy and police with itself. It's those but without sort of like earning it even a fraction as much. Because like I get sick of that shit when Guy Richie does it when someone imitating Guy Richie does it. It's just like it's all style,
Starting point is 01:19:22 no substance and so fucking smargo. It's hand out of seven. What's your insensitivity? Um, I mean, the German's a culture. No, German culture. I don't know why. German culture, sure. Yeah, for version, yeah. German's a sort of German civilization.
Starting point is 01:19:42 The French is sexy. Britain is correctly identified as a shit country for pricks and a joke, which I do appreciate. It gets a point off for that for me. It's quite fun that every nation in this is like, has it stereotypes that they keep mentioning the Queen and stuff, but American neutral. Neutral, normal, everyone else weird. Totally normal. Yes.
Starting point is 01:20:02 Oh my god, it really is just Ronin for girls. I'm not sweating all the time. Yes. Yeah. Oh my God, it really is just Ronin for girls. Like a CIA agent undercover, like making besties with a French spy, it's like, okay. It's pretty white. It's, yeah, it's pretty white. It's pretty white. I would go like, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:20:20 Three, four. Four. Yeah. Four. Middle of the road. Yeah, sure. Disappointing, but like yeah. Okay. For middle of the road. Yeah. Disappointing, but like whatever. Unprovoked violence at 9.10.
Starting point is 01:20:31 Yeah, she does, yeah, we're constantly being. It's up to you. Most of the violence is against people who like, I like, why are you fighting me, dude? Yeah, that's the part of the film. That's what we work together. Yeah, and we are supposed to enjoy it too. So that's, yeah, it's got to be like seven out of seven. Like, yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:20:47 Yeah, yeah. It's the most like, I'm provoking his violence film we've ever seen, misogyny. Uh-huh. Oh, hi. Hi. Sorry, hi. I would say it's nakedly exploitative
Starting point is 01:21:00 and exploitative in a way that is like so pleased with itself. You can tell the bits that it does to sort of fend off, to try and beat the allegations, right? Like to do the scene of Delphine getting murdered, but to have her fight back a bit enough to injure James McAvoy, right, is that such a, we didn't make her helpless. You're not allowed to get mad at us, I'm not touching you.
Starting point is 01:21:24 I hate it. I really don't like it. 2017 as well. Like we should have fun at bar. We should have fun at bar. We should have fun at bar. And little things like the fact that like you've got, you've got three women in the film,
Starting point is 01:21:35 two of whom are named and have arcs, which better than some films you've seen, but like we're always seeing them in their underwear and we're always introduced to them with these very objectifying shots. And I keep on the pathologist as fucking like 10 out of 10 despite being like an extra like I keep returning to this idea that you're only allowed to be in movies as a woman if you're a certain kind of very sexy. Whereas look at the look at the body shaped diversity on show
Starting point is 01:22:02 in the male cast, you know, you've got guys dude. Look guys to a ball, dude, you've got guys to a big guy, so a little, you've got like, they made the KGB, the big KGB guy who kills you and reuses his shitty lines of woman. I would have come in my fucking pants. I swear to God, but they didn't, you know? And that's their last. That's the two.
Starting point is 01:22:20 I'm like, female characters with arcs, so both like, you're 10 out of 10 smokers. It's like, okay. Yeah, they're going a huge sort of like heavy set, did not even like, pretty or like handsome or whatever, Russian woman who would kill me. That's pretty good. Just want to say that.
Starting point is 01:22:38 Just like, break up KGPH and. Yes, yeah, you know what, it wouldn't matter. It would have been that much. It would have been so much, but I mean, it would have been also a bit homophobic, but like still, I think it would come up, but I think it would be. Yeah, but you can't win with us and nor should you, because this is, you know, this is an anti-movie podcast. I think that's why you have to run every movie past us before you release it. One thing I can say in this film's offense is that it does not show a corrective rape that is shown to work on screen.
Starting point is 01:23:10 Which is the worst thing I think we've ever seen. The faintest praise. Yes, it is. But like there's no rape in it. I think we gave that, and we think we gave Goldfinger a nine for misogyny. I would comfortably give this like a six. Right. I think I would like knock off a point for like
Starting point is 01:23:30 earnestly trying to do what if James Bond noted sociopath piece of shit was a woman? Is an interesting thing to explore and they did make an attempt? Yes. Okay. That's a fair point. I still want to give it like seven. That's fine. Yeah. All right. Yes. Okay. That's a fair point. I still want to give it like seven. That's fine. Yeah. All right. Fine. Yeah. Because I just yes, that is an interesting point, but I think it is outweighed by that's a point that we consider like in the realm of forms, whereas like I'm considering what is
Starting point is 01:23:58 shown on screen, which is. Sure. And of course, naturally, the Constantine Ghost of Shelley is for him. Yes, it's a good one. Trying to kill Drisevote. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one.
Starting point is 01:24:12 Try to kill Satchel. Always so good. No good night because we can't tell who the fuck's anyone's side is on. This was a boring, confusing, erasating movie to rewatch. It gives us a total score of... This is going to be highest fuck. It's going to be highest fuck. It's going to be highest fuck. It gives us a total score of this is gonna be highest fuck it's gonna be high as fuck it's gonna be High as fuck gives us a total score of 28 which means it is
Starting point is 01:24:30 tied with Living let die for the worst film we have ever seen on the podcast My god, and I remember this fondly as live and let die do you know how many people people have been like, oh guys, you should watch a topic blonde, it's so good. Which is like this is the worst movie we've ever seen. Alice, you saved it by suggesting six from a soldier. I was ready to give it a nine. And that would have made it a 30. But no, it is 28.
Starting point is 01:25:00 It is tight. With a film that was made in like fucking 1805 or whenever the fuck live and let die was made. No, totally in his master of Europe. Oceans in our battlefields. Only one man stands before him, James Bond. This was, this was that. This was a rewatch.
Starting point is 01:25:19 Yeah, maybe sad. Yeah. But I mean, looking forward to audition for the sequel. Yeah, yeah, very much. Maybe the sequel will be better I've got your answer will be that a woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right now right now they're googling Spotify 90s playlist And you know once they have enough bangers, there's gonna be a movie, but in the meantime
Starting point is 01:25:42 Thank you for listening. We will return with the recordings of the Austin Powers live shows. That's fucking right. In the meantime, we have a Patreon, $5 a month, four which, maybe five pounds a month. I can never remember. It's five pounds. Yeah, we did in pounds. Five pounds a month. We have a Patreon. It's five pounds. Four which, yeah, codename Patreon, four, you can receive codename bonus episode. Haha, which the next one is going to be from Russia with Love with no notes. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. We are banking these episodes before we go to London to record the Austin Powers live shows, which means this jazz outro will be on both the Atomic
Starting point is 01:26:33 Blonde episode and next week's bonus, which is the From Russia with Love with No Notes, or if you're listening to that episode, on last week's episode, Tite Blonde, and this week's bonus, which is For Russia, for Russia's love with no notes. So in order to keep that from being annoying to hear twice, I'm gonna just crack straight on into it. Thank you for being a patron, or if you want, consider being a patron. And special thanks, of course, to our 15 pounds and above patrons, and those are Candy Fox, Freya Aloisius, Gustavo Lira, Jack Holmes, Mike, Berg, Hannah Oberhard, Nick Morris, Johnny Del Camino, George Rohack, Kentucky Fried, Comet, Evan Secret Nemesis,
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Starting point is 01:27:57 Roll, HistoryPod, Alfredo, Turfsy, Chint, Diallone, Al Erwing, Artemis Potter, and others all wealthy, Millie, Josh Simmons, Robert Greensmith, and Lauren Baston. Thank you for supporting us. In general, you make it possible for us to do things. New Macapos will take big swings on things like booking three nights of a live show. Which if you're listening to this as an episode, will have already happened, or might be just about to have happened. This... It's time shit, weird to me. Georgians Bond is Alice Abigail and Devon. Our Pshusa is Nate Bathay, a podcast artist by Matty Lubchansky. Our website is by Tom Allen.
Starting point is 01:28:40 See ya. Mwah! See ya!

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