Kill James Bond! - S2E23: Austin Powers [Live]

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

You asked, and like the monomyth, we refused the call. Several times. But now, we've finally relented. Recorded live at the Streatham Space Project on the 13th of April 2023, It's.... Austin Powers! ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Strettom Space Project, please welcome to the stage, Kill James Bond. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! This one will not last for the entire show. Dad, he's back. Hello, Stressam. I'd love to say it's nice to be back, but we're here against our will. I'm making these pricks. See the thing is right if you've if you've followed the podcast You know I watch criteria in collection right like I have a BFI subscription

I like to watch films that are good. I like to watch one car wind There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hitster that an aging hitster. Ooh, nah. Ah! And so, we are forced to confront Austin Howers. Ha! Next reactions to me, mate. Some of Austin's family into that?

They made three of these and we felt every minute of them. Believe me. Oh, oh, oh. This one was all right. I actually had a, okay. This one was kind of acceptable to me. It's a long decline. This is my last one.

Right. It gets a lot worse from here. But so, we begin in the 1960s with a for us, a blow-filled bit, right? Like we all love getting comedy out of the management relations of Spector, right? Please touch your hand to the metal plates, all of these things. Huck jokes, huck jokes. Who would try and party James Bond to make it funny? Mike Myers.

And I tell you what, he manages it in this movie sometimes, because in this movie, we start with Dr. Evil. Now, Dr. Evil is Donald Plezance Blowfeld, 5% gayer. In this film, 5%? Yes. 5% rising. And it's Donald Plezance Blowfeld, but who has a shower attachment.

Like... Donald Pleasant's blowfeld, who has felt another man's breath sink up with him. Yes, yeah, absolutely. And also a bit Trump-like. It captures the same kind of affect as Trump. He says words a bit weird. And it's...

So we introduced to his evil cabinet. And let me tell you, first of all, this movie is struck by Will Farrell in brown face. Yeah! Just, oh my fucking god. In the media, just, just, yeah. I remembered this character. Like I was aware of this guy,

but the second like he appeared on the screen, I was like, oh my fucking god. They really did it. They really fully do it. It interferes in sunglasses. And this is like a 60's spy movie. Type, fine. Right.

Why does it have to be Will Ferrell? Because he's one of Mike Myers' friends. And we will run into this throughout the next three hours of content, a lot, believe me. But we have him, Mustafa, and we have Fraud Farbissina, who is sort of the club, the Rosa Club of this movie. Sort of evil, sadistic woman, sort of a little bit Rosa Clavin, a little bit this one Canadian nurse

called Loss of Hitchman over because there's a lot of Canadian in jokes in this that are only funny if you're Mike Myers. This is another problem for this movie. That makes a lot of sense. Mm-hmm. Is Mike Myers, can I? Yeah, Fred, so.

That, that, that, that, that, that doesn't feel right to me like I believe you hmm. I attacked on both sides. No, they walk among us That they look they look like normal people they don't talk like them, but they look like normal people could be in someone you know Maybe a Canadian he's biologically Canadian Canadian bodied person in my space. Yeah, OK. My stress and space. LAUGHTER We can always tell!

LAUGHTER You just hand them a bag of milk and you try and gauge their reaction, you know. Never fails. LAUGHTER Trying to change the laws of the Canadians. How do you say separate toilet? That's like the five genders.

I'm just like, male, female, no gender. Like South Asian, like, just a certain trans people and Canadians. It's a toilet with like a maple leaf on a door and a really disappointed stone is in there. LAUGHTER F**k. So, Dr. Evil, Dr. Evil is very upset about their failure too.

And this gives us our briefing, right, for this. We must kill Austin Powers. LAUGHTER Thank you. That's right. And now we have to go and see Austin Powell's which means it requires us to go to. I just have this on speed up. This is like drop number one.

I just have this right here because there's going to be a lot of this. And this next thing, it's a challenge for me as a lifetime member of the more movie dance sequences club. You have to trust in the institution and you have to believe that when bad actors enter it, it's still worth preserving. And that's the way I feel about this dance opening. It's a hard days night, right?

It's a beast Romania. Austin Powers dressed very much like this. Thank you. Velvetsuit, Krovat, National Health Service Glasses, nominally a fashion photographer by day, spy by night. I couldn't find glasses for look good enough, quite frankly. I tried, but I just, the vision wasn't that good. Well, they don't make things any more in this country. They don't.

I got to be honest with you. I think this is funny. Are they also don't make my eyes in this country. They don't. I got to be honest with you. I think this is funny. I wonder, they also don't make Mike Myers in this country. No. What is happening to our society? We can't even... That's your teacher, Mike Myers-Gas. I'm now offended retroactively by the teeth thing matter.

I was in originally, because I was like, okay, this matter is making fun of Britain. Yes, we are very silly. Yes, we are a joke country for losers. Yes. Now you can't say that if you're from Canada. Look, a famously serious nation. He went to an American dentist and had them make him up a British teeth. What the fuck?

He's, he is wearing this prosthesis, this dental prosthesis through the whole movie of like bad teeth, right? Which is insulting, it's stolen valor. I worked very hard to get these teeth this bad. A lot of years went into this and he thinks he can just, you know, enter into like my spaces. He doesn't have the like shared cultural background. He'll never know what it is to be British. I do think, and this is me putting up me defending this right at the top,

because it will not fucking last. But I do think there is something, there's a nugget there of something very humorous to be like, look at this fucking guy. That is the sexiest person a brick can imagine. And I was like, that is a funny joke that like women really desire us. And he's, he's like really cool when it it's like this is the sexiest man in Britain. He's just like, like, toad. That's funny if you're British.

LAUGHTER All right, for the next hour and a half we're going to be teaching you about the concepts of in groups and out groups. LAUGHTER Who the law must bind and who must... Yeah, the law must bind Austin Powers. When will it start binding Austin Powers? I'm asking this very strongly.

The dance party opening where he's like walking down the street and then all the people are dancing and he's eating a parade and stuff, that he's very cool and it is very impressive the first time. And the main joke that this wants you to know is, again, this is the sexiest man in Britain, right? I don't like that he's pointing right at me. From behind, too. It's quite threatening.

I'm not worried, but you're like, you're next, baby. What is he now? So at the end of this dance sequence, he gets into a Jaguarity type, which it's unfair to put a union jack on a Jaguar-y-type. Yeah, a vandalism. It's not its force, it was born here. It's trying to be better, right?

Aren't we all? People will just put Union Jacks on anything these days. I don't know. LAUGHTER It's a joke, though. Won't make sense on the recording, when I'm into this. I'm doing physical things. For the many years, I've been here live.

Just to be honest. The people who are listening later. You are the in-group, the I- doing physical. Should have been here live. Just to be honest. Just to be honest. The people who are listening later. You are the in-group that I bind. Woo! Now, the other way around. I put you around. You're all behind you. Right now.

And the E-type is being driven by a sexy lady, Mrs. Kensington. Mrs. Kensington. That's right. And that's Austin's partner as a spine. And... Crucially, not in a romantic sense. No, no. Attracted to him, but not willing to make the leap

because she's a Mrs Kensington, and that's, you know, respectable. At which point, we get Basil X position on the car phone. Michael York, does anyone know anyone related to us who can do a Michael York impression? Because we kind of, we should have thought of that ahead of time at this point. We really needed an image of life. Should have wheeled mylo out.

He's an old man. He's fucking Hannibal, like Gurney. He's getting sucked off by a twink. That's what they want these days. It's like, wheeled back out. Okay, thank you. Thank you, mylo. Well, if you can get him. So I don't have a Michael York impression.

I just have a drop of him saying. I never forget a pussy. Wrong. Oh my God. I'm fucking up so badly, boys. I'm put me down like a race horse. I have a drop of him saying. The electric psychedelic pussy.

No. I have a drop of him saying the electric psychedelic pussy Because you got to go to a second location big man. You just got him Um, and at that secondary location Dr. Reval has laid a trap for you Now they drive to the the electric psychedelic pussy There's a bunch of sort of little cameos of like, oh you might remember this person. What is the way? What is the way? Listen to that. Yeah, you put it on the couch to go abroad.

Venturi, see. I thought the pull through, I thought that was the latest thing. No, no, no, it's all about the electric psychedelic pussy. It's like carbon capture, you know, we hope it will be invented. We, you know, we put all of our faith, our trust, into the fact that someone will invent. The electric psychodevary pussy. But, you know, not yet. I'd love to get on this, but I can't reach the...

It's the hangar. I'm gonna do this just for you. The electric psychodevary pussy... Yes. Yes. Nurtle that! Fuck! LAUGHTER LAUGHTER The electric psychedelic music. Yes. Yes. Nerd alert. Fuck. LAUGHTER She doesn't have a... That's not funny, Devon. No, I'm Kyle Lasovias.

But they go to the electric psychedelic bossy. Austin Dancers. And he gets his drink orders taken by a woman. And Austin remembers another thing that it means to be British, which is violent transphobia. Mm-hmm. Straight away.

And this movie instantly incinerates any good will it had built up in the previous four minutes, because this is Minute 5. Yep. Like, on God, it's Minute 5 when he deploys the line. And this is one of two, the lines. You know what the line is, but I'm going to hit you with the line anyway. They don't know women. It's a man, man. Yes, we know that line is because we've had it yelled at us out of cars.

Yeah. So I- I'm the loretta thing, getting real old. But this joke is less transphobic in context than I remember, and I hate defending this movie, but it really is. Because it's a lift of a bit from Thunderball. The bit where Bond fucking hauls off and punches the guy who is disguised as his own widow. But it very abruptly and very obviously changes shots from a female to a male actor before and

after the punching. And it makes it so much like more of a slapstick thing. It's like you punched the gender right off. Yeah, but like is it possible to learn this part? It's punching yourself. I feel like it's happened to me. Yeah. You know, it kicks by a horse, all my gender came out. But...

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER You know, kicks by a horse, all my gender came up. Um... But... LAUGHTER Again, if you're listening to us after the fact, fuck off. LAUGHTER But I feel like it's like Apple and the Simpsons, right? In that... OK. In context, whatever. Just getting in the fire, so you can do it. Do you want to fucking go?

Oh, so you have it. Do you want to fucking go? Oh, so... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha You're like, like, Doug Peter Cappall, the indoctr-who level of just, yeah. LAUGHTER But so, I feel it's like a food in the Simpsons, right? Where, like, in context, it's not as bad, doesn't matter. Fucking kids remember it, and this is a movie for teenagers, right? And this movie is, like, God's gift to bullies, right? And it still had currency, even when, like, I was in school, and this game had came out in 1997. This stuff had a longer lifespan, culturally,

specifically amongst kids that bullied you. Which... You're really popular in the bully demographic? Yeah, yeah. And that sucks, especially when as a trans person, you have to sit yourself down and go, okay, first thing, our bullies were right. Um...

Okay. Okay, they had a point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Do you have. Okay, they had a point. Yeah, yeah. You do have to hand it to them on this one thing. Like the fifth quadrant in demographic markets, like male, female, under 25, over 25 bullies. I've got to add a whole new set of restrooms. Men, women, gender nonconforming people, South Asians, Canadians, bullies. Bullies.

Yeah. Oh, you don't go in that bathroom. Oh, dude, I'm not going to fucking... It's all swirlies. What is the sign on the door? It's like one stick figure dunking another into a toilet. But this woman who gets exposed and gets her wig torn off responds to this the correct way pulling a switchblade knife and trying to kill the person who did it to you. That's the one free blow you can get in and make it count.

But Dr. Evil, waiting in the wings, kills her with a speargun. And then leaves. And it leaves me to ask, what was the trap? LAUGHTER Because if that woman was the trap, that joke's way funnier than they thought it was. LAUGHTER Yeah, like, time has passed,

and like, this joke is aged like a fine wine. Like, in some ways, not very good. In some ways, she's... All right, thank God. LAUGHTER No, I think the trap was, he was just gonna wait up there with a spear gun, and then when an opportunity presented itself just shoot Austin Palsy, he's instead like, I gotta shoot my gun.

He would never do this. No, no, no, she's... I do appreciate a hands-on villain. That's true. Yeah. From wasting from the wings, too. But so he escapes into an escape pod in the form of a Bob's big boy. Now, this is...

What the fuck is a big boy? Is this a Canadian bed? Yeah, this is Canadian imperialism. So... Bob's big boy... Well, it appears to be in the shape of a big boy. Is... My parents look to me in the shape of a big boy. Is my parents looking at me in the hospital?

Oh. Bob's big boy is a Canadian-American chain of burger restaurants. Right. And they just have a mascot that's like a boy with a burger. And this is transformed into a rocket that Dr. Evil escapes in. Is that the reference that they're making in the Simpsons while the guys with the donut, is that the... I think that's maybe the same thing.

I don't know. Wonderful. I'm learning a lot here. Absolutely. Absolutely. You can get Canadian citizenship after, you know, completing a series of tests about how much you know about, you know, Bob's big boy.

I'm talking to Canadian, nice. Name a third, oh fuck is my turn. Uh, my God, for a dollar. Name a Canadian. I don't pay attention to any Canadian. I don't remember losers. A third Canadian restaurant, Canadian Tire, I guess. But so he goes into space, is frozen cryogenically,

to a time when, as Basil says on the narration, when free love is dead and greed and avarice rule the world, 1997, and that's a joke that's aged better. That's more perceptive than I think the movie made it, it, it, it, it and it went and did it to be But the movie doesn't really stick to that and I have a theory about why that we'll get there First of all, we got to do radar operator bits God I love to see this this actor's name is Clint Howard. He's like a legendary American or potentially Canadian

I'm really I don't know anymore. Could be anyone of them. I'm worried. Would you fuck your Canadian devil? No. I told you last time. Jesus Christ.

Imagine the maple syrup. Is everywhere. It's gracious. Yeah, the radar operator, his name is Johnson, played by a legendary actor, Clint Howard, who calls up like an Air Force Colonel and it's like, there's a giant big boy on the radar. Mm-hmm.

And doesn't bits. Yeah, they do some bits. As the big boy returns Earth and this general has to go to... I know it's their least favorite drop, too. It's just why I'm going to keep playing. I was genuinely impressed when you didn't like walk out on stage to be like, it's right, KJB, back in. LAST OF THE MIND

Although you don't think Stratham is London, so. Don't attribute that to me. I hate this place. I didn't say those things. You keep telling me, why can't we do more central? I'm being snitch shackers, I'm being fed shackers. You're doing a microaggression on me. I've never said that.

I love stressum. I think it's... Crowleder. I think it is in London. LAUGHTER Put that on the fucking sign. Welcome to stressum. I believe it's in London.

Oh, it's cold, I'll call it. That's right. That's right. Who's this thing out of the way? Yeah, it's in London. Oh, it's called alcalde. That's right, that's right. It moves this thing out of the way. Yeah, it's like a lot of fun if you don't like it. You can't see my face. So we go to the Ministry of Defense where they've cryogenically frozen in a bunch of people. I'll be trying to talk about it, why don't you?

And Basel Exposition is like, this is also the abritu-wing, and I don't know who many of us are. You don't know who vanilla ice is. You know, Gary Coleman is. I've heard of vanilla ice. Gary Coleman is referencing the existence of Gary Coleman, not even anything. He's famous to him as true.

He's just like Gary Coleman. Being like, look, Gary Coleman, is was such a banger joke for the entirety of the 2000. Yeah, you could get a laugh with anything like that. Hey, remember the existence of this guy? But you're talking about Alice. Now you have to do gay blow-filled. Like, it's so much more work.

I was only born in 2002. I don't know who it is. Oh. To the person you just like did a spet take? I just wanted to say fuck you. No, that is true though. Strangemism is in London. Abby was born in 2002.

Canada is a real country. All of these things, all of these things. Well, there's not strain, credulity. On knowledge and belief, all of these things are true. But so they defrost Austin Powers, which is a fun scene. I get one joke out of it, well, one drop out of it, really, which is just... Wrong liquid goofy.

Which is me when I fuck my Canadian double. LAUGHTER So they do frost him and he pisses? Yeah, this is the first real, like, the first really good joke in this movie, and that's stretching it. I was hooting and hollering baby, I was like... Yeah, it's like, you heard of... PAY!

SHOT! And the joke is, because he's been frozen for 30 years, he has to piss for a long time. And he keeps cussing off the announcer that's announcing when he's done pissing, which we have in all British bathrooms. I don't know why they introduced that. I've probably astutely observed that he came to Britain

and did his research. Yeah, absolutely. And he gets unfrozen, introduced to this American general and a Russian general. And, oh man, that jokes come back around again because he goes, what, are you crazy letting the fucking Russians in here? And, who tides of history or something. But the joke we get out of it is a good one, which is... Finally, those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Hey, comrades!

That's right. You know what? You know what? What? This sex criminal is a comm rage. Well, not an unfamiliar sentence for a little point of organization. This sex criminal pointing at Devon is a comrade. A slightly less common turn of phrase for less-wing organisations in the United Kingdom.

LAUGHTER Yeah, because he says that why the Russian says the cold war's over, and that... The end of history has happened, Austin. It's done. It's over now. We're all friends. And me receiving my Patreon Austin. Yeah, yeah. It's done. It's over now. We're all friends. And me receiving my Patreon box. Yay, capitalism. And this is, I like this joke.

I like that Austin is either so mercenary or so cowardly. There's just like, yeah, whoever, please, please, take me out of the defroster. At which point, we have to go into another sketch, because this is another problem that we have, which is, this isn't a movie. It doesn't have the structure of a movie. It's a series of sketches,

because Mike Myers, aside from being a Canadian, is something far-filtier, and May Allah forgive me for us, for wring these words. He was on Saturday Night Live. Oh, my God! Now, Saturday Night Live, sketch, skit, comedy show. And so it's all like this.

It's like five minute bits that really hammer the punchline home every time. Strung together for an hour and a half. And some of them are good, a lot of them aren't. This one's one of the good ones. Yeah, nearly the greatest Kramers movies. It just doesn't let a punchline like land move on. It never wants to.

It's like, did you see what we did there? It was. Yeah. Or if it's a bad joke, but like that was a bad joke, wasn't it? Let's make it four more times. And I'm like, stop. On the third one is funny again. On the fourth one, I'm going to kill you.

Yeah, so I've talked before about like some American comedies that are made now. Somebody will make a joke and then someone else will go, did you just say joke? And then we get beat, beat, then we move on. We haven't quite gotten to that stage yet, it's not quite terminal, but now we do just have joke and someone will just go, joke, and then we move on.

So it's not that bad yet, but it does still great. It's the early stages. Yeah, the MCU didn't invent this, but first we have to say hello to Elizabeth Hurley. And I personally am saying hello to Elizabeth Hurley. Hello. Hot Tory. I think we can say that.

Um. Look, she has, if you look up any of her views about anything, not great. Really? Oh. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but heart-tory. I know. Problematic fave.

Loading, but it's a... Take it back. But this is Miss Kensington, Vanessa. Miss Kensington's daughter. And she's the kind of like, because women in the 90s, right, was stuck up because they had invented feminism. And they didn't want to fuck anymore. And so, you know, the thing that this movie suggests, not even really jokingly, is that

the pendulum has swung too far the other way, right? And now- Now, when you're a little bit of like 60s machismo to bring things back to, yeah. Yes, because she has, as Basil said, in a line that was cut from the script, a bug up her ass. And I fully just think that Michael York refused

to say that, which given the things that Michael York has said on films, getting sucked off by a twink, things of this nature, that's extreme. And also, by the way, the script for this movie, available online, they can't a great deal from it. I will be making reference to this. Yeah, we have a theory about who might be responsible for those cuts.

I do. It's an interesting one, yeah. But so Austin immediately said we, it's just those two. They were like hanging out in the locker room talking about this Yeah, we were talking about all of the things that you said about stress him like I Think it's a fine establishment. I think it's easy to get to I think I think the transport links to central

Yeah, thank you for thank you for getting an extremely easy journey to central London My train was only laid three fucking times. I was coming from Victoria. My bus gave up. I got two thirds of it. Yeah, we were like, no, no, I get up. January, the group chat just like before like six o'clock was always been like, yeah, we're all going to be late.

And just being like, TFL is trying to cancel Kill James Bond. That's true. That is true. It's the only conclusion we can come to. Well, because of our virulent anti-union politics. That's right. But so, so Austin immediately sexually harasses this woman. He starts going a baby for one thing, but also because he has no internal monologue.

It's a bit, he like talks about her harsh years. In a way that's distinct from the way that I just did, right? It's fine when I do it. That was a choice. Yes, yeah, it's post-post-ironic. The one post-ironic, that shit, two posts, that's good again, and you're actually obliged to give me your money every month. Um...

But so... I need to get someone back, so I do like a big shepherd's hook or something. I do. Yeah, just hooks onto the back of the belt. But so she, you know, tries to correct him on the office culture of the 90s. She says don't call me baby, first of all. Yeah, but he wins her over. She like smiles despite herself because he's like,

ah, come on. Come on. That's a good tactic, yeah. She's like, oh, you can call me Vines. I'm just a little guy. And like, here's the thing, right? The movie thinks that Austin Powers is pathetic, but it thinks he's pathetic in the same way

that it thinks that James Bond is bad, which is not that he's a rapist, but that he's out of his time. He's a man out of time, Austin Powers. I'm like, we've never seen before. That's a good take. We should consider doing that. That's a really good thing. It's a man out of time. Yeah. Wild, right? Maybe that's what we need right now. It's a world fast and just. Maybe. Maybe what we need. Just done it again.

Never. Just get rid of some of that wokeness. Really. So like, pull things back to the center where you're allowed to call women, baby in the office. I'm're gonna do this again, I'm just gonna do it again. Yeah, oh yeah. But yeah, so this reaches for the same like legitimizing bullshit that Bond movies do. And I think one thing, I'm just gonna lay on the table right up front, movie one. As we have learned from

pushing George Layson beyond stage or the phrase, historical allegations. George. Those 1960s kinds of masculinity. Maybe, just maybe they weren't as fun for everyone else. Why couldn't you just kept quiet? Why did you have to go on stage at the Sydney Opera House and say she liked it, actually?

Oh. You dumb Australian motherfucker. Why couldn't you let me have the man from Hong Kong? Oh. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That stunt man especially didn't like it. Well, back to the three people who have good memories.

So remember when we talked about James Bond? Yeah, remember that. Who? We have to deposit ourselves into another sketch, which is... The penis pump scene. The penis pump scene. Swedish made penis in larger pump. Because the guard at the Ministry of Defense

played by Neil Milaki, who used to be Mike Myers' comedy partner. And his great surname. Funny, isn't it? Is the other problem. Yeah, he makes the scene. He carries it. He carries this scene on his shoulders

is here is all of your stuff, including Swedish made penis in larger pump, which embarrasses Austin. He's like, that's not mine. And there follows a series of cascading evidence that he is in fact a fan of the... Oh, it's a receipt for the Swedish-Venus-Burm, and he's like, oh, it's mine, but it's not actually mine. I don't really like it.

It's like he's a book about... He does actually like it. I like it, I also like it. I also like it. The book I authored about the guy don't consider stressums being London. Mm-hmm. And yeah, Neil and my lucky like slam dunk's this one.

Yeah. It's good. But at this point, we have to go back to Dr. Evil. And we love management comedy, right? We love confronting Will Ferrell and Brownface some more. Just like regarding Dr. Evil. Yes. This movie spends the entire like first act

obscuring his face. Yes, it does. For a long, like, you don't see who Dr. Evil is, you don't do it. And then when they reveal it, like, it's not like a punch, they just sort of, it's like, just a reaction shot. It's Mike Myers again. Yeah, it's like, oh, it's Mike Myers. It's an board camera.

That's exactly right. One thing I will say about this movie, they did not have the Mike Myers movie double technology yet. And so they don't appear in a shot together, because they didn't know how to do it. So you get a lot of like reverse shots for it to the back of clearly someone else's head. Yeah. It's like Abled, dude, who they found. Yeah.

Yeah. At least we've only got two mics, Maya, because holy fuck, do we get a lot of mics? You can graph this because... Yeah. ...really easily. Yeah, yeah. Like, as you'll see from the spree, the grap you graph number of Mike Myers versus the artist extended. Yeah, very much.

Very much. Very much. Access. Just increasing. I think the thing is, right, this movie made $50 million, right, which is no small amount of money. Love to have that much Sunday. If only I could make jokes like this. Yay capitalism. But as it made more money, people stopped being able to say no to Mike

Myers. And he started being able to keep more things that he wanted in the script. Because I've seen what got caught from this. And let me tell you, there's a scene where he fully invents a new racial slur. He does this. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you showed me this in the group chat. Yes, he does. Literally, that's not a description that we've embellished. He does, in fact, invent a new relationship. He does a bit about how you have to call them sex workers now, and this is a bad thing.

He does a bit about how flight attendants can't dress sexy anymore. It's real bad. What are you about? This is fucking a movie about that. Yeah Um, it's real bad. This is fucking movie about that. Yeah, and just a list of things I'm upset about, and then I do like a joke. And then someone saved him from, from himself. Someone went, no, you can't put that in the movie. Stick with the penis pump.

Humph, put the penis pump. Someone whose identity will be revealed. Yeah, possibly. Possibly. In this very rule. LAUGHTER So, we get introduced to Dr. Evil's henchmen and woman, right? Number two is here.

Robert Wagner, stylish eyepatch, very distinctive voice. And he's the sort of like business head of the front that Dr. Evil has set up, VirtueCon. And the joke here is like corporations, they just do the evil stuff now crazy. Didn't happen before, but now, you know, it's very bad. You got Frouffa Bissner, who I've mentioned, and you've got, what's this dude's fucking name? It's... Mustafa? No, no, no, no, no.

There's another guy who is named the way J.K. Rowling would name an Irish character. Oh, fuck, I can't, I think it is literally Pion. Pion is something. Yeah, Pion. Pion, Pion. Pion, Pion. Fuck me, Guinness McFight see.

Like, what are you fucking? Are you fucking, are you fucking, are you fucking, are you fucking kidding me with this shit? That's right, I had shames like car bombs. It wasn't getting bass over here. But like, this is,, right? Because it's... I had James Joyce. LAUGHTER Sorry, sorry, let me just go here.

No, no, Lert! LAUGHTER But so patio Brian's deal is a lucky charm joke, right? He has a little charm bracelet. It's a long walk to this joke. It's a little long joke, yeah. I think it's funny. Yeah, me. You know it's coming the whole time. It's good because it's the only time for our business to do like a bit of acting. That's true. Well, acting is very generous of me, but she delivers some lines.

It's after your lucky charm. All in a row as well. It's good. It's good. It's like a serious commercial. Yeah, it's like a commercial. It's the little guy running around. He wants to be good. Things like this. So don't treat everyone downstairs this plan. Can you cut that, actually? I didn't. I haven't been able to actually live. All right. All right. Strike that from your memories.

Like you're a jury in a courtroom. That's going to be stricken from the record, right? The live. Do any of you have a bottle opener? Yeah. Crazy. Because you do. You know what I mean?

You and me, we like to. Yeah, legend! Woo! Thank you so much. Thank you to the fans. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're a piece of honor. You'll get that back.

Do it on the right. I'll open these both now, actually, oh, you're peas on this you'll get that back Do not wait, I'll open these both now actually just to be safe Yeah, so vamp for a bit. Oh, yeah, it's fine I like it because the drinks is just like susters out quite yeah bottom water you've what Prosecco and Two satches gold and two such as gold. They've become me and fancy class.

They've got a fucking number. Our outrageous name. So Dr. Rivas' plan A is we're gonna blackmail the royal family. Now, the joke... I like these bits. The joke here is we're gonna blackmail them by saying that Prince Charles has cheated on Princess Diana. And that's a topical joke, apart from the fact that she had just fucking died when this movie came out.

Again, a joke that got much funnier. Yeah, the plan has gone a bit kinetic, right? But also it's like... Doctor Evil flooring it in a white fear, don't know. He'd look in a white fear, don't know, he looks so good in that. No. He would look sick in that. But no, it doesn't work now because the royal family

has been rocked by bigger scandals than this. Yeah, I was going to make the one you can't react to is blackmailing the royal family worked for ****. LAUGHTER Mmm. So, Plan B! Plan B? You have to tell me that story later.

Yeah, I don't even know that. Oh, this is some like deep-cure nonsense. Don't worry about that. I don't remember what Plan B was. Plan C. Plan B was ozone layer. Oh, the f***ing ozone layer. Yeah, the shoot right on the ozone layer. Yeah, for sure. The shoot I own the ozone layer. Yeah, for sure.

This is like very much what's current at the time that we're writing this. We've been open in newspaper because I'm writing my fucking movie. Yeah, what's fucking going on now? You know, you can't even dress sexy when you're an airline hostess anymore? I think you can if you want to. I think they allow that. I'm not sure.

But yeah. Not the podcasters. You can dress sexy if you want to. I think they allow that. I'm not sure. But not the podcast is. You can dress sex as you want. That's true. There should be about 20% shorter. But so the plan, plan C is we're just going to do what we always do. And I like this because it is every Bond movie. We're going to steal a nuclear weapon.

And we're going to hold the world to ransom. Fucking stick with the classics, yeah, why not? Play the hits, if it works, it works. It's right, we do also meet. It's not a work, we do also meet Scott. Yes. Dr. Evil's clone son, in the script, 15 years old. But I think they decided that was a bad idea for several reasons.

Deva's saving me. The thing is, you can't judge people by, you know, our morals in our advanced time. You have to judge them by the morals of their time. You have to judge them by the... Have to have a podcast last, or something. Play the theme tune. All right, all right, all right.

You have been killed, James Bond. You have to judge them by the standards of their time. And at the standards of their time, it was acceptable to cast Seth Green in a movie. It was a long walk to that punchline. It could have been shorter, but I, you used to get that. You just like built one of those like airport, like escalators on a flat plane in front of my punchline. This stage is now difficult to reign. Yeah.

Yeah. My halved movement speed towards the punchline. Right, I do. I do quite like this. I've been heard a lot, Bob. Alpha coxote. NERDA LEARN. Thank you.

I do quite like this joke, which is that whilst Dr. Evil was in space, they used to sperm to create a child. And it's this kind of disaffected, I think it's meant to be a teenager. Yes, but he isn't meant to be a teenager. You got a curve in two-shirt, because it's again, topic at the time. That's fine.

But I like that when Dr. Evil is confronted with this news, he's like quite sincerely moved by it. And that's a joke that we keep coming back to that he's just like, I'm sorry, I haven't been in your life, son. Like, it's actually quite funny. Yeah, Scott's like just like, I'm sorry, I haven't been in your life. It's actually quite funny. Yeah, and Scots like, no, I hate you. I hate my father, T-Node stuff.

I think the Scots' Doctor Evil stuff is actually good. I think it's the strongest part of the movie. Yeah, that's good. When I say strong edges, we're creating on a curve here. There's another dude who we have to meet. Oh, Christ. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, I got.

OK, so you remember how in the movie Goldfinger, there was a big Korean dude who was not Korean. I mean, he's done better. Yeah. We got a real Korean. Korean American, Korean American. Uh-huh. Yeah. Who did not have to train for this role.

This is called Joe's son playing random task. Oh, job. Yeah. Now, the thing is, right, if you do embrace your tools, if you do a fucking racist character as like if you play a straight in a 60s Bond movie, if you just do it again in the 90s as a joke, that's still doing it again. That's the same thing.

And this is going gonna be a recurring theme next fucking two live shows as well, is you're just repeating the thing. The other thing about this is we found out we did some research on this man. Yeah, man. We had to have a bar on the check. Yeah, the CRB check on Josephson.

Because the thing is right, the trivia section for a movie is not very exciting on Amazon. In this one, the most exciting thing that happened was to editors on IMDB having a fight. That's pretty good. No, genuinely, because there are a bunch of notes that were like the curb cuts in the dance scene,

aren't correct for 1960s London. And someone else, adding, editing in. NURN ALERT! And what you wouldn't expect them to change every curb, would you? And I would. I'm fully with the first person. This is an error. Every frame of fucking painting.

That's right. If everything is in the mise en scène on purpose. But no, that's what most of the trivia is like, you know, goofs, things like this. Oh, you can see the back of some guy's head, and it's clearly not Mike. Oh, you can see a boom Mike. Jetto in this one. Gen-general trivia. Joe Sond, the guy who played random task, life imprisonment for torture. That's a specific point. Yeah, hold on. It was a real shirt genuinely. In the process of gang rape.

Yeah. And... And then after having been in prison, he murdered his cellmate for an additional life sentence. Because you double up on these things, I guess. And... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did this. Like, the movie was just like out like,

yeah, he just did this. The victim had a copy of the movie in her house. It's it's enough to put you right off your 1960s spy comments. It's bad to have for anyone to have a copy of this movie in that house. Especially. Fortunately, it was on Netflix, so I didn't have to buy it. Yeah. Yeah, no. So, you know, a good luck getting that out of your head for the rest of the time he's in this movie. He's the reverse Harold Sakata.

He has to train for 30 years to life to not murder anyone else. Yeah. Very, very striking. Yeah, but so, at this point, we go back to Austin's plane on the way to Las Vegas. And man, okay, this is where they cut the the flight attendant bits. Right. But there's a one of the flight attendants in there. Like, what was he just said it? They were cut. They were cut.

Yeah. Oh, they were, they were all going to come in. One of them was going to be a man dressed as a woman. God, the script doctor fucking. was going to be a man dressed as a woman. Mm-hmm. God, the script doctor fucking... Yes, script doctor, life saver. Like the script doctor, with the visual aid is like... This script was in palliative care, like... He was dead on the tape, turning it off. It's like a script Christ.

This gets even funnier when you find out my theory about who the script doctor is. But... This was also going to be the inventing a new racial slursie. Yes, it was. They really packed them in. This would have been like a one, two, three punch, instead of one punch. And the one punch is he literally tries to jump on Vanessa, like across her back. And... Which is not where the pussy is.

Well, I mean, you don't know where they're gonna position them. The electric psychedelic pussy. You can get that shit put in anywhere. Yeah. It's not Pinal Destructive. You can just have that wear out. Oh, yeah. Of course. Have a bunch of them.

I need a way to think that Pinal Destructive. The kind of wounds and price patterns. This is a great phrase. Apparently there's a very good thing about it. I mean, anyway, things are being held to strut. For the kind of wound and price matters. It's just a great phrase. Apparently, there's a very few surgeries that are being held to strut, too. Penal destructive script surgery. But so, like, he makes the line to people

I remember from the thing, do you want to make you horny, baby. And we see that he doesn't, right? But she's kind of smiling a bit despite herself. And this is rancid 90s irony, misogyny, right? Where it's like, me being pathetic means that it doesn't count that I just said the worst shit you've ever heard.

And actually, you secretly love it. What if you don't secretly love it? Don't worry about it. Of course you do. That's not a good place to build a decade on. And trust me, it gets worse for the next two movies. Yeah, because then let me go to the hotel room in Las Vegas. And he's still still doing the, we get the line, should we

shag now or shag later. And she's like, Austin Powers, I would never have sex with you because it's 1997. I'm, yeah, I'm a beautiful, you know, put together woman who is too stuck up for her own good. And I secretly like you, but I don't want to admit it. It's like, no, come on. But Bond movies were doing this shit unironically in the 60s, and it was rancid then. But so. That is me, though.

If you want a me, though, joke, the joke that I have written down in the play and scene is the thing about Austin being pathetic is, it's like, imagine a beautiful woman wanting to have sex with a disgusting, disgusting ugly kind of funny Come on mostly cringe British person with bad teeth If you can imagine that meet me after the show

All right again a long walk I think the punchline is in London. So Vegas, last Vegas, it looks like shit, right? I don't think it's meant to. It's just it was the 90s. Napoleon Solo was gambling next to a fucking dusty window at two in the afternoon here. How far are you going to say Napoleon is the master of politics? 19-nots, because he knows our nap battle.

Oh fuck, I would watch the fuck out of that, right? Master in gambling. Pan-pending, pan-pending, pan-pending, fuck you. So, strike that from the record also. So, there's definitely an ocean's 11 joke in there, but I can't. Yeah, so she's like, I don't want to fuck you. We're together at home. They go gambling where they meet number two at the Blackjack table, along with his personal

secretary, a lot of vagina. And we get the joke. Joke. I thought you said a lot of vagina because it sounds like the word vagina. Oh, did you just fucking say? Did you get it? Oh, this time. I say vagina. You know, some, some men find the word confrontational. Um, but so we I like the Austin's just dressed like Austin still. I think it's good. Like, establishes, but they're undercover and then it like hard cuts's just dressed like Austin still. I think it's good. It establishes, but they're undercover. And then it like hard cuts to him

just like wearing like red crushed velvet. And just like. Yeah, you get like a bunch of quick hits of topical jokes. His cover name is Richie Cunningham. Vanessa's Oprah. The soup Nazi is the crew Pio. I did right by God. It's the soup Nazi.

It's the soup Nazi. They're like, yeah, we love the way you did that soup Nazi bit. Would you like to have a quite mundane role in a successful British comedy movie? I thought you were gonna pull a bit the drop from when he's walking through the casino just goes, hey Americans. Oh, no, no, sorry.

I simply don't have that. No shame. This is where we do get the, and to be fair, it is quite funny. Where I think he plays Blackjack against number two, who has, he's like, X-ray eyepatch, and I think he's on like 17, and he hits and gets a four. And he's like, oh, I like to live dangerously.

And then Austin, that's like, has like four, and goes, I'll stay, I also like to live day. I like that. It's like, it's a good thing. It's a good thing, it's quite funny. And then it's Blackjack, because no one fucking knows what Shimander fair is. It's good. So number two It's quite funny, yeah. And that it's blackjack because no one fucking knows what Shimander Faire is. It's good.

So, number two excuses himself to go to the bathroom. And Austin follows him in a fine English tradition of, you know, bathroom perversion. Mm-hmm. Just making sure he's not going into the Canadian one. Well, he actually says to a dude in there. No, actually, I'm English. That's so good. Ah!

The guy he says that to is my favourite fucking character in the movie. Oh, the Texan boy. He's not the insanely supportive Texan guy. Yeah. That guy, that exact same character. He's the guy from the Madron Court. The fuck is his name? Yes.

My name is Bentley, ma'am. Yes. I'm not even trying to. Oh, shit. That's in Texan. Oh, the dome, yeah. is Bentley, man. Yes. I'm not even trying. Oh, shit. That's in Texas. Oh, the dome, yeah. Yeah, well done. Bentley is in the fucking building. And in a joke that has come back around again,

Austin says, I'm English, and he says, I'm sorry. Yeah, he walks in, he sees Austin's outfit, and he's like, that's one hell of a fancy getup you got there. You part of the show? And he's like, no, I'm English. He's like, I'm sorry. All right, most juvenile jokes that still got a laugh out of me. He's just down the thing, patio car bombs

tries to kill him with the garot and Austin is like, fighting for his life in there, you know, literally for once. What I really like is that like, before the, the, the, the, the, the bed even starts like, before the patio car bomb shit starts hitting us, we like, like, I bomb shit starts hitting us we like like I'm sorry

By the sheet provo art gallery. I'm sorry. I forgot. I was thinking about the next words in my sentence I'm Rocco pigs under his arms. I'm just aware that there's And then my crew is off at any time. Even before that shit occurs with Shane Muffinigan, you get detects and sits down and he just goes like, good luck buddy, like unprompted. And I think that's like, that's a fucking true blue hose. That's guys ride or die immediately. We'll get through this together.

And it's like, the unsolicited shitting counselor who is like, all right, we're gonna get through that. Like you're landing a plane. He's holding my hand through the glory hole. That's what they're for. That's what they're for. Oh. It's a real.

God imagine you're sitting there, you see a hand. Just crazy. It's like real idea. You're sitting now, you see a hand. Just crazy. It's like an emotional war, a whole way. It's instead of sex, you just thought, I just want to have a small time. So I know who you are, but I just want to hold you. I heard you were English, and so I understand that you need help using a bathroom normally. I'm afraid that if I don't help you, you're gonna start looking under the stalls and try to make a blind joke as well.

Happy to skip over. So, Shane Masheanie, like lunges out and with the garot, right? And Austin's like grunting and groaning, his feet are getting lifted up off the floor, and the Texan guys are like, oh buddy, come on, it's gonna be all right. I laughed, I am ashamed to admit it,

but I did, that one got me. That was funny, it was a good bit. The problem is this is a movie of sometimes good bits, sometimes bad bits, it's not a fucking movie, it's just not. But he kills the guy, you get the punchline, which is a weak punchline, which is the guy looks in there, sees,

flano-connery and it goes, oh Jesus man, what do you eat? It's like... Back to Dr. Evil. This is another problem. The movie has too much more fun with Dr. Evil than Austin Pals. Yes, and this really hamps the second film too. Oh god, yeah. Look, we've skipped over something. It's a core part of this movie, it's the interstitial dance bits. Ah, yes.

What the fuck? So the vibe with this. Did they just not know how to end a scene? They just like hard cut to Austin Powers' face in like macro. I can explain. It jumps get me twice. I also got jump scared and I can explain, right? The reason is Austin Powers is something that Mike Myers started with a tribute band

with the guitarist from the bangles called Ming T. And so that's his band. He puts his band in the interstitials. And so I see a bunch of women in like 60s body paint and fuck all else, get so hard I think I have COVID and then get jumpscared by Mike Myers' and then get jump scared by Mike Myers' face. It keeps cutting into Mike Myers' face. Real close, like really, like, oh God,

and every cut in between scenes, it feels like is this. But it's always just long enough that you forget that they're doing it. And it has like, and it's like, it's the shot composition's horrific. It's just like hard cuts. It doesn't matter of a lighting or anything, it'll just hard cut to like,

my eyes is face and every fucking time. I mean, the like, metal gear solid, a lot of noise. I'm like, yeah. Best of God is the vine boom. And I had that because I wanted to do. I'm English. Shhh.

LAUGHTER But... But so, Dr. Evil holds the UN National Costume stereotype room to ransom. Another sign for the odd guy is Babu in there. Ah, okay. I did like how we're moving, but they do know a brown actor. So why the fuck? Yeah, they made all feral.

They may be all feral. Oh, grim. I do, like, when they cut to the U.N. and everyone is in their most stereotypical dress, I like that it's equal opportunities offensive. Yeah, there's a mountain. Yeah, there's a mountain, there's a Scotsman in a Kilt. Not the most offensive portrayal of a Scottish person.

Oh, we'll see. We'll get to that. In groups. And out groups. In groups and out groups. But yeah, so he holds them hostage for $1 million because he doesn't know what inflation is. And it's a fun joke.

The first time. What fucking happens next in this man? It's just all together, you're sure. The element of the evil plan that would absolutely definitely work on me. Ooh, er, I don't know, hang on. God, I think it might be, yeah, they go back to Dr. Evil and for our fur business, like, all right, check this out, big man. We've got plan. Sexy robots.

They're called fembots. I just heard someone say the words now that's later. Fuck, what are we doing here? We're doing the fembots. I keep almost saying fembots. We're doing... That's in the second one. We're getting the fembots! What a bit company sergeant, what are you there?

I can't shout in a woman's voice. I'm really shouting in the back. I'm bringing the fanbots! Don't! LAUGHTER One, two, one, two, bar, bar, bar, bar. There you go. That's the one room joke I'll do.

By the far right. Oh my god. OK. LAUGHTER When, right, when they do the fembot spit, someone, whoever it was, who is there, count the fembots and we'll get to it. There's the counseling bit between... Scott and his dad. It's faster than that. Because now, now, we check in with the fucking... It's nice to have... No, no, no, no. Yes. It's nice to have a resource, right? We have Bert Bacarat. Oh, my God.

Yeah, okay. So they go and they stake out Virtucon that they take a photo of random task. And you get the second instance of a pussy joke which is that he sees the cat and he goes, I never forget a pussy. Don't be. Don't be.

Cat, right? This, they had to do this because pussy was the funniest word in the world at that time. They lived in... That's fair. ...in primitive times the CIA hadn't invented the word pussy yet. So if you wanted a cheap laugh out of a room, you had to just go with pussy. And that didn't... You know, it doesn't work.

No, pussy. Pussy, yeah. Got them all going to see. It doesn't work. No, pussy. Pussy, yeah. Got them all, go see. That's the whole thing. They, them, pussy. Oh, I'm a second. Oh, now it's 2020. Now we're talking. So he takes a few photos of Vanessa

because the script remembers that he's supposed to be a photographer. And Vanessa gets her picture taken and she goes, Oh, great, I want to fuck you now. This never works. This never works. No one has ever gone. I've had my photo taken and she goes, oh great, I wanna fuck you now. This never works. This never works. No one has ever gone. I've had my photo taken with a 35 millimeter camera. Would you like to fuck me now?

What do you think I'm doing it for? But that doesn't work. So, they go out, they enjoy the sides of Las Vegas. And then they go back to the hotel room and she's cured of being stuck up now. That's true. Before they do that, they have to introduce Bert Bacarack. And this movie rescued Bert Bacarack's career and they go back to the hotel room and she's cured of being stuck up now. That's true. Before they do that,

they have to introduce Bert Bacarack. And this movie rescued Bert Bacarack's career in his old age. Not well enough about that. Well, both then and now, I'm mystified because I don't know who the fuck Bert Bacarack is. Yeah.

Like, I don't know, song writer, music guy, kind of loungey. But this is apparently. Is he a pre-micro-bolden, Michael Bolton? I, I don't know, but this is apparently... Is he a free Michael Bolton, Michael Bolton? I... I don't know, but I... I tell you what happens to Vanessa after he plays one song. Wrong liquid goofes, big ears. Oh, fuck me. Yeah.

They go... They go back to the hotel. You get a cheap visual gag about them fucking when I actually they're playing Twister. And then she gets drunk and she goes, right, please have sex with me now. And you get the kind of thing that makes a 17 year old on Tumblr go. I actually think Austin Powers would be trans-positive, which is, he does the minimum.

Well, even better, the take that I have seen, which is the Austin Powers is a trans man. That's the basis of my costume. What do you mean? I mean, that really puts a whole extra gloss on the I'm English. I'm sorry, conversation. In the men's room. But so she goes, please, fuck me now. And he does the minimum necessary legal thing. He won't do it, he's woke. Well, we'll get you a medal. He, Austin Powers, respects consent, right?

And my question is, does he, he says, no, I can't have sex with you because you're drunk. And it's like, is that that good? Was that that good in 1997? I don't think so. Like, especially because the way it's filmed is don't have sex with a drunk person, not because that's inherently wrong, right?

But because you will be rewarded with a nice, wistful romantic moment, which he gets, right? She falls asleep on him. And also later, Percy. Yeah, he gets. Well, the thing is, right, I was going to trail a bit more. It's like Jack in them, Mass Effect 2. You have to refuse the first time, and then you can look at the letter on.

In some cultures, it's considered polite to refuse the Percy Three Times. Oh, Christ, I've just realized that joking Austin Powers 2 is much more racist than I thought it was. Look at that, look at that. Look at that, look at that. So the way I was gonna trail this was to go, about the only thing you could do worse

is immediately make him have compensatory sex for the woman of lesser perceived value. Yes, thank God for that. Because she's Italian. Oh, yes. And I'm looking at the man from Uncle Clark of all Italians white. The answer's no in this one, folks. Yeah, so Basil calls him out and is like, sorry to hear that you were not willing to commit

sexual assault. Would you like to go and fuck this other woman instead? Please break into a lot of vagina's penthouse and we're going to save a vagina a bunch more. And then you know, do some spying, which he does. He takes some pictures of the files. It is quite a funny joke that he's like taking pictures of his secret files and talking to them as if they're models. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, that's quite funny. Yeah, that is good.

And then a lot of giant answers detect him and we get a seduction. Okay. Yeah, go please. This movie's out at Sparrow, geez. This movie's out at Sparrow. No, don't put on his post-teaching. Please do not put it on. No, please. This movie's added to that. Oh, geez. This movie's added to that. No, don't put it on its post-teaching. Please do not put it on its post-teaching.

No, don't put it on its post-teaching. It's added to best when it's post-teaching. It's added to best when it's like, here's an event that happened in a James Bond movie, but we've put this man in there instead. Is that weird? Is that weird? What if he had fucked teeth?

So, they're in the hot tub, and then a lot of vagina says the phrase from you only live twice which is in Japan Men come first and women second and And then like yeah, I remember that from the movie and the added second punchline is all sometimes not at all And it's like a week shit Also, you know how I know that you only live twice as Mike Myers' favorite Bond movie? Because he keeps fucking copying it. It all of these.

Yeah. Every single one of these movies, there's a bit where it's like, it's time to go to Japan now and I put my head in my fucking hands. This isn't Japan. This is a Japanese-themed penthouse in Vegas, which sounds like the most fucked vibes on the face of the fucking bus. Weeb Mike Myers. He's doing like rising sun shit. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking boy. Weeb Mike Myers. He's doing like rising sun shit. Yeah, yeah. I don't appreciate knowing about the existence of Weeb Canadians.

That particular overlap on the Venn diagram, very threatening. I don't know if they'll come to what just known about Canadians. No. But she gets into the hot tub. It's not sexist for me to point out that two giant 90s breast implants just floating on the surface of that water.

They hadn't dialled in the surface tension of those yet, and man, it's noticeable. And he does a couple of more racist Japanese jokes. There's a joke about how Saki sounds like Saki, which is... Yeah, if you say it like that. Yeah. Say it wrong.

Yeah. I can say any word wrong and make it sound like any other word. That's the capacity that I have. Crazy. She also, he farts. He does. And then he has a little solidity about it as well. Yeah, a little like child's...

I skipped three of those, hit in the button really, really, really. But he fucks up, is the main thing. This is off-screen, which is, I don't know, whatever, I didn't need to go. It's not screen. It's not screen. And where a different movie might have left.

Where a different movie might have left, sorry, you really just took me with that. The jump scare of the he's in there. Oh, you think that's his hand, okay. I did, yeah, I really did. Really just... Took me about that. The jump scare of the he's with it. You have a jump scare. Using that to his hand, okay. I did, yeah, I really did. Just resting them on your shoulder. Oh God.

What the hell was that? Where a different movie might do that, the classic, you know, like, fade to black, train going through a tunnel, or a flower opening, something like this. This has a hard cut to mic minds as, as close as you can fucking imagine it. POV, you are also vagina. Genuinely popped in the up. What the pussy see?

Oh, no, the pussy is not seeing that. The face is nowhere near the pussy, I'll be honest. I don't think that's the power of the pussy. No. No. So now, now someone gets to shoot the joke. Fucking, no? None of you cowards, fem bots. I'm sorry, I spoke over a little bit.

Now it's your turn to take time. I'm gonna take time again from the top. No, no, no, it's fine. If anyone just wants to shout fem bots at any time, you can do that, no, no, no. No, you can't. I wanna be very clear that you can't. That you can't.

That you can't. It's great sending you off for that. Yeah, so for our listeners, like, you know, check this shit out. I have the technology to make a squad of 10 out of 10 baddies with gun barrels that come out of their bras. Um, they're all blonde and American. And I've written down this would work on me. Yeah, blonde. American. Sex bot. The electric side of the universe.

And there are four of them. Yeah, it's true. And she's like, yeah, no man, including Austin Powers, will be able to resist them. I'm just like really worried by the Labour League of Austin Powers' hate crime. Yeah, you have hate crime one, and I have hate crime. You have two Austin Powers hate crime terms. Where do we get it? Oh, no.

Yeah, we'll show up. We'll get to... I just think we got at least one note about a hate crime. But so the thing is, right, I read the scripts, which they didn't shoot. And, man, second Austin Powers movie, they trail the existence of he-bots, which leads me to think. But come out of a dick and balls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do, I mean, in the scripts, I can't be do you do that, genuinely. Which means, gold member, very strongly trailing the possibility of they-them-bots. The poet come out of the Impossible to get and dick best of both worlds Never mind. It's a tweet

They couldn't have a live embossed So Austin Austin has to go back to the hotel and he needs to learn a valuable lesson about intimacy in the 90s by making Vanessa jealous and boy crazy. Yeah, because they have a queasy. For movies. Mm-hmm. They have a queasy in where they go and get gadgets from Basel X position.

Yeah, here's a watch that doesn't do anything. Here's some toothpaste and shit. Is that a gadget? No, you just have fucked up teeth. Yeah, yeah. Fine. And then... Basil's mother is...

Oh, yeah. Yes. Why is this in the film? So... I'll tell you why. This film... We climbed two. Well, I hit climb two just for the sake of me.

It's a man, baby. Sorry. The line. There it is. We've all heard of set up reminder pay off, right? We're all, we're all cinephiles here. We know this. This movie has a little technique I like to call set up reminder.

Where, if it thinks the joke is funny enough, it'll do it again. Yeah. And that's the end of that. I'll never see that shit again. There's a number of these fucking things. Oh, yeah. They do.

They do. No, the most prominent one is the fucking henchman thing. Oh, Christ. You're right. There's about two times there's no path to it. Well, a second transphobic hate crime has struck the live show. And yeah, it really hammers this, this Joe Combe. And he punches Basil's mother, who is a woman, the wig doesn't come off, Austin is wrong,

which again makes it less transphobic than it appears, but no one remembers that because everyone remembers. It's a man, baby! Like, yeah, okay, fine, whatever. But now, if anyone ever does tweet that to you, you can just listen as you can just be like, oh, actually Austin was wrong in that scene. Yeah,. It's actually inaccurate. In the number of ways. Yeah. Yeah.

So at this point, we have to intercut with Dr. Evil and Scott going to therapy. And this is a really sweet seat. Yeah, it's fun. We learn a bit about Dr. Evil's background, which is mostly the jokes are European guys are weird, which is true. That's true. Yeah, yeah.

We have to give it a story. And the joke is that it's like an incredibly specific thing. Like he was raised by Belgian pastry chefs. And he was literally fucked up childhood. And it's like a shorn scrotum, which actually just was like racing, which is just true. Someone leaving at that.

I knew there was something I had to do tonight. Yeah, and of course. When I was insulin, I was placed in a burlath bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. Again, me and the group is. But so the other thing to note here is that the three sad folks... Three sad? The other thing to note is that... I promise I won't try to do a Trump impression again. Sorry everyone. No it's fine, you said.

I let the team down. I'm not going to do that to me. So, the therapist is Carrie Fisher. Now, you may be aware that Carrie Fisher, apart from everything else, was renowned in Hollywood as a script doctor. Shit. You dog. I did it. I had that up the sleeve the whole time. Carrie Fisher did a lot of script-octering on Star Wars because, as Harrison Ford famously

said, you can write this shit George, but you can't say it. And so... Yeah. Star Wars has always been weird as shit. Yeah. So it's been fucking strange. It's been, George Lucas blasting, sing, sing as shit. Yeah. There's always been fucking strange. It's a George Lucas blasting, sing, sing, sing.

No. The opinions of Tevin did not represent the opinions of Tevin. It's a good one for us. Stolars is very good, probably. You should all watch it. I'm simply saying, it's not weird to have Lizzo and Jack Black in an episode, because it's always been shit. No, that's like the floor of work.

Defending style was here. You know anyone, Disney. You never know what a world can show up. Maybe it's been Disney. You never know what a wall can show up. You never know. You never know. Do the only way to find out is to just watch all of it. Get a Disney plus as well. Disney plus just consume all of that content.

There's so much content folks. Yeah, all great stuff. So Carrie Fisher, right, she did a lot of script on Star Wars. My intention is, I don't think it's out with the realms of possibility that she worked this over and went, you can't do the racial slur, you can't do the the chord sex workers now,

but you can't do that, Mike, Michael, Mike, stop it. Now, I'm not gonna say that Carrie Fisher failed us for the next two movies. It's a reason she wasn't in them. They were like, do not that Carrie Fisher see this script? Yes. She's going to make a take out all the racial slurs. Yeah, edited against his will.

It would have been 20 minutes long. Yeah. But so, yeah. Oh, God. It's a tight 80 minutes. So, Dr. Rivell, his character is being European as weird, which is true looking forward to making an entire character out of it in the same franchise.

At which point, Austin and Vanessa go on the Virtue Contour to try and infiltrate the lab? I just want to highlight. In that scene, it ends in the greatest way you could possibly end a scene, which is Carrier Fisher goes, we have to stop, and then it hard cuts away. LAUGHTER And I'm like, that's the best way to end a scene

is just be like, we're done now. I don't even think I was a lion, I think she just said it. They just let that one in. She was like, yeah, just stop, stop. I don't really support the thing of putting actors and things after they die. It was a bit creepy to me, but I think all movies should end that way.

Just Carrie Fisher all times, like, all right, folks. I thought you were going to say that. We should re-release the second two films and CGI re-animate Carrie Fisher into making a better. Carrie Fisher, as a force ghost going, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. It's over. So, at this point, it's not, I'm available in a lobby, a figure of mine.

Yeah, yeah. Correct, everyone. So at this point, they go on a tour to try an infiltrated vertical and Vanessa is very jealous. And what Austin does is some vintage 90s slut shaming where he's like, this woman that I slept with,

you know what, she meant nothing to me because she was a slut. She was the village bicycle, he says. And therefore, I meant nothing. Don't worry about it because I'm in love with you. I just take that for your own power of social purposes. Yeah. You know, I only have eyes for you, Lesnar.

Love you, my name. Love you, my name. You'll be the name. Yeah, yeah. Wow, Anon, that's so interesting. Um. But yeah, Vanessa is very jealous because she's like, I want you to be my partner.

And it's the 90s Austin. And she tells him off and he has to have a sad montage of watching like the moon landing. Austin. And a bunch of other shows. We're monogamous in the 90s. Yeah. And he's like, not groovy, baby. Yeah.

Austin is down his face. Austin, the CIA have not yet invented polyamory to try and destabilize Western leftist groups. LAUGHTER They're bringing it back, you know, the first time and the second time. It's... LAUGHTER Oh, you don't get to hear that joke. So I should also say Mike Myers is at this

point wearing a turban and a fake beard because Mike Myers thinks there's two nations in this world that are funnier than Ireland and Scotland, Japan and India. And all buddy, you want to talk about out groups. And the India stuff, it just keeps coming because the Infiltracer Lab, and he's like, I'm going to do some hypnosis that I learned in India. He's dressed in brown face. That's why we mentioned the Indian way. The disguises as they do the tourists. Yes, very. From my guru my guru, and I can see what the gesturing towards in the 60s, every fucker had a guru, Rishi Kassho, all that shit, fine, but whatever.

But like, he literally did brownfights for this. And you got Will Farrell to do brownfights for this, which is, you know, once is alarming, twice, like depressing. But so... Yeah, you know, once is alarming twice, like depressing. But so... We times brown face. There's no one but a background. Let's do it.

He's here tonight. Take that shit off your face. But before we talked about this... Yes, smash cut to carry fish. You're being like, no, no, stop. But so... We're going to keep making that joke and it's going to make no fucking sense

to every audience after this. Yeah. The alarm gets raised immediately. They shoot a bunch of guys, and most noticeably, they do the funniest gag in the movie, which is running over a guy with a steamroller, and the steamroller is miles away, and he's like, ahhhhhh! Last forever. Very good joke. In a highly commendatee, not as enjoyable in comedy

podcast about the movie form. But then they cut to, and I do quite like this, they cut to the family of this goon who are like so stereotypical like perfect suburb, like the mom's taking a pie out of him, and the kid bicycles home, little Billy, and they get the calls, and he's like, yes, my husband's a henchman, a doctor even's a henchman. I mean, the learned that he's been run over by a steamroller. And it's funny, it's funny.

It's funny, it's funny. And again, they do it twice, they do set up a reminder. Mm. Yeah, imagine doing jokes about henchman, and it's embarrassing stuff, really. But yeah, this one is certified funny in it. So at this point that I begin to feel like the feminism inspector,

I'm going down with my clipboard and I'm like, that's funny. Freeze, feminism is fun. That one's funny, that one's funny. You can learn that one through. The brown face. Mm. No.

You simply do not have to do it. But I will say one thing, they do a decent ... I just imagine Jordan Peterson like terrified his house like with a girl in a tank, Tom was the feminist inspector's like, we're not here in there! Feminism is fangirl! You don't have to let them in. Don't. The men are taking me alive! No, the feminism inspection is swat team.

But one thing I will say is they do a decent can out of them. Troops versus women in your house. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So they immediately get captured by random task, which is a box they had together. And they get put in the quasi-futuristic costumes that villains love to put bond and bond girls in.

Scott Pioneers the Juss Shoesom bit at this point. He's like, he's right there, you could just do it. He's like, I've got a gun in my room. You can be like a minute, I'll go get a gun, and we'll shoot him. He's like, you could build a fairly successful podcast off of this one joke. At some point, we'll come. You could one, please, keep paying.

We could, you could. Yay capitalism. You have the vision to create a joke based around. What if you just shot him? No, no, it's us and Mike Myers. It's a uneasy sibling hurt. Yeah. And let me tell you at this point, the movie fucking it drags so badly.

Because most of the jokes are Dr. Evil says a word weird or he's like disappointed by a guy and he goes, Rye. Yeah, because now they're actually having to like wrap up the film. Yeah, they're having to make a movie. Yeah, that's right. A film like the stage. Yeah, like, oh, yeah. Oh, so this guy, like, yeah. And so, I'm still in Vanessa Gett, imprisoned above a tank. It's not sharks. It's sea bass. Mm-hmm. Can't get the staff these. We have two and a third movies left of this, by the way. I hope you're excited.

They escape easily. They throw a guy in the sea bass. Yeah, for Austin, Austin does like, set up reminder, reminder, reminder, where he does too many one-liners. I like this one. But none of the one-liners land, so it just doesn't work for me. In a movie, and this is my theory, in a movie you can do two or three good jokes that go a bit too long. Like, they can come back around, I think, the steam roller coming towards you guys funny.

Oh, we don't need like 80. No, no. And that can't be your main punchline is, we'll just keep doing this for a bit. Yeah, and after a while, it's... See if it gets funny. Oh, that. It's all that. It's all that.

We're going to be insane on the gold finger one. Oh, yeah. It's going to look like day 10 of the Russian sleep experiment. And this is how fucking we do it. Day 10 of the Russian Austin Powers experiment. You know what we should do? We should add an Austin powers each night. So the last night, there's three of them behind us,

just like, oh, god. Oh, god. Yeah, and we're going to set this through like J Peg of Fire's as well. It's gonna get lower and lower, probably. We'll do that. The eyes are red and bleeding, like the bed-round shit. Yeah.

So we go to the second instance. The second instance. We go to the henchman family gag, which is Rob Lowe, a guy I see. I've seen him. He was on the West Wing and he was certainly present. He's in the movie. He's in it, come back. That's true, if you will. But Rob Lowe and the boys are at Femboy Houses and they get the news that their boy is dead.

Gentle titter of Femboy Houses. Nothing major. Oh, I have to work so much harder than I thought so would. Um, yeah, so... Tough thing, a podcaster. I know. It's really difficult, actually. What is, you had a better punchline for fanboy hooters than I did,

and I don't want to steal it. So I just want to like... She's forgotten, I can see her face. Fuck me. It was... Stealer. It was fanbot Hooters. Fembot Hooters.

Ah, thank you. Is that a point? Well, we're gonna make it five more times. It was Fembot Hooters. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. What? Alex, did you just say Fembot Hooters?

Fembot Hooters. That's right, Devon. I said Fembot Hooters. Fembot Hooters. Carrie Fisher walks or stays that's not that. That's right, Devon, I said, Fembot Hooses. Carry Fisher Walks on stage, that's not the thing. Carry Fisher Walks on stage kills all of us. Thank God. Fair enough. It's a mercy at this point.

So, Christ, they escape from the thing. No, it drags in the last act so badly. Yeah, and it's like a lot of things happen, but none of them are funny. Yeah, which is a weakness, sort of what you want in the movie. Where the apotheosis of this fucking man's character arc is, he instead does it like a song and dance towards the fembot. Yeah, so Oscar Vanessa escapes, we get a gratuitous shot of her climbing a ladder in a short career.

Yes, it's what we do. No, I'm not. And then Austin meets the fembots and heroically overcomes them by doing striptease. Do you kind of like the hero's saves today by being silly? I do too. Also, it's a nice reverse sort of like, our bond gets to be like a male sex symbol all the time, but never in a way that makes him vulnerable or ridiculous

or like exploits all the time. Yeah, there is a cleverness to it. You seldom see, in tail, Daniel Craig bond in his underwear, for instance. Unless it's Sean Connery beating the local wildlife death with a shoe. And even though he's wearing a hat, he's really happy to have not seen more.

Yeah, if you were watching the movies, you were like, I really wanted to see like the outline of Roger Moore's cock. Okay, well, you know what I was. And I asked you to cut that every time I met you. Oh, yeah, it was weird to do it after a bit of an old Roger Moore, too. He got so old. Yeah, it was weird to do it after a bit of an old Roger Moore, too.

He got so old. Yeah, I'll have a punchline for this bit. What happened to the movie? Well, he destroys the fembots by being sexier than them, which is a fun bit. And then Vanessa, who is, at this point, wearing a leather cat suit, which is almost as much as Abby's Night 3 outfit.

It's nowhere near by Night 3. Is anyone here coming back on Night 3? Woo! Fucking brace you. No, don't be a joke. Those of you are going to get to see some things that you didn't see on Roger Moore. Um, I got mesh.

It's only good. Yeah, the dress stays this long, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Anon, I really have. People are gonna be fighting for these three seats right now. Yeah. When we start serving hard enough, we're gonna remove the cloth from the table. Just like yank it up a little bit. Hike it up.

But we're waiting across the river. I just realized we haven't actually mentioned Dr. Revel's plan. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah, because it doesn't matter. He's going to put a new can the core of the earth and cause all the volcanoes on Earth to blow up. But he's got a big drill, it looks like a dick and balls. They managed to stop it just in time, right?

Yeah, yeah, for sure. So, okay, the cat suit's nowhere near United Free Africa, because it's got legs, right? But it's still impressive, with this, certainly. She walks in on him and the fembot he has killed and is like briefly jealous. And he has to be like, no, this was a mass murder that I did.

I didn't fuck them in a way that made their heads explode. That this was, you find whatever. Which one of you got a lazy gay joke? Because one of the soldiers who's with there, like, kind of looks back around the door, like, in a way that I think you're supposed to laugh at rather than like laugh with, you know? Yeah, this happens in the second movie as well. Yeah, a lot of, a lot of cheap gay jokes. Yeah. Carrie Fisher must have missed that one. Yeah, so they, they, they know, they know. But so they destroyed the thing at the last second.

Dr. Evil goes to escape, and Austin holds him up the gun, and now I can deploy my political theory, because he goes, all the shit that you were doing in the 60s is, fuck, the world, right up, hasn't it, my son? Hasn't it? Yeah, he sounds exactly like that. It's death-like, he sounds exactly like that. It's like Dave Kwonny also, it's a different way. It's far too right, I'll pass it a sound. Because you had all of this freedom and stuff,

and what did you do with it? It led you here to me, to the 90s. Faturism. That's right. It was his 60s... ...toxic treasure. Toxic treasure. Toxic treasure. Toxic treasure. It was my father's Toxic treasure. It was his Toxic treasure.

In my head now, I'm just doing Dave Courtney bits, I hear in his way. It was my father's Toxic treasure. So, yeah. The 60s boom ahead and his name is Fuck the World. He called that guy on his house, I'm sorry. I could have got in on that. That's right, it's sorry. He hits Austin with that. There's right, it's sorry.

He hits Austin with the... There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster. Which I like that we see gets through to Austin, he's like wounded by it. But so, yeah, Austin makes a defense of the 90s, but he's like, no, we have freedom and responsibility, man. It's a very groovy time. This is a movie about taunty fucking Blair. It's...

Man, the leaven's never gonna happen, man. Yeah, okay, so how many of you have seen the movie, Charlie Wilson's War? Right, at the end of Charlie Wilson's War, there is a sound effect of a plane over the end credits to indicate that 9-11 is happening. They should do that with every movie as well. Yeah, they should do that.

Would you get the Carrie Fisher movies over? 9-11's about to happen and then it sounds like a plane. Yeah, and in my head, I hear the Charlie Wilson's war 9-11 sound effects over this. Because yeah, baby, the 2000s, right, they're're gonna be the 60s again, but responsibly. And the 20s are gonna be so roaring. Yeah. Let me tell you, we did not manage 60s head and as them butt responsibly.

We didn't even manage the butt responsibly part. We managed the austerity part. Um, we're gonna get a damn head. No, no, damn head and as them. We had to wait for China to reinvent polyamory. Fucking, we had to wait for it. Thank you so much, Chairman'sy. I'm just kidding.

I'm the only monogamous. Please send polyamorous baddies. I am the token monogamous. I'm the only kid. Yeah. That has never been officially confirmed. There's a sort of graph of the... I'm not really the average here.

I'm sorry. I have a lot of them sitting and I'm putting polygamous in that I'm dating every listener. That's right. Independently. Because I'm saving myself for the lesson. We all, yes. We're all wearing three empty lockets around our necks

for your picture to go right here. The top page on there. Yeah. Yeah top Patreon dear. Yeah. Yeah, you capitalism. Yeah, that's a little sort of de-ass for me. The top Patreon dear being we have to fucking wear an eternity collar. I don't care for that sort of thing at all. So Liz trust level shit.

I'm not fucking living my life. What a f**k, we lost, shit. We lost him tonight. That's a blast. That'll live where I'll go. What a fucking time. It's a damn shame. It truly is. But yeah, so at this point,

number two is leaving with a fembot in the suitcase, which is a funny joke. It's a funny joke. the boots are sticking out. A lot of vagina shows up and takes Vanessa hostage. Justin takes fucking Scott hostage. And Dr. Evil goes, yeah, I don't give a shit. You hear the podcast, audibly losing Steve, you're like, yeah.

Everyone did the movie, like, it's just like, well, then the rest of the movie happens. And we're done, but it's like, it, then the rest of the movie happens and we're done, but it's like, it's really shit. Yeah. Doctor Evil escapes that I remember how. I don't know how to do lots of the genre behind it. Oh Jesus, no. It's probably dead.

Yeah. One of these films is just really similar, which is difficult. Yeah, they fucking killed Mustafa. A bit, we didn't even remember until now. Oh yeah, well, should we talk about it? So they kill him. And it takes him a while to die. Long time.

That's the joke. He spends most of his time screaming in pain, which has been much less experienced for me. Austin does the racist martial arts noise from tomorrow and avidias. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And the tuxedo. That's true, yeah. He kung fu's a guy, well, he judo's, he judo chops a guy. And then Dr. Revellus gave us. I just want to say, I studied judo for seven years as a child. I really enjoyed it, actually. I got a lot out of it. It was a good sport.

I wasn't very sporty as a child. And I did... No, not at all. I did it. It meant a lot to me, as a point. And every time I ever told anyone that, what do you do? What do you do? Actually, I have this drop here on an iPad. Yeah.

But every time I ever told anyone that I was doing judo, and they would always go judo, chop, and I was like, Fuck you. So, so the people are like, You think that's bad, I do think that's bad. I do think that's bad. You think that's bad, I'm a trans woman. Like, I think that's bad, I do kickboxing.

You know, it's just kickboxing, Andrew fucking tight. This is rich guy, I want to see that fight though. I think you could take it. This is rich guy. I do want to see that fight though. As I have publicly stated, not only could I be Andrew Tatener fight, but I also have infinite love for the tapestry of humanity, which makes me better than him in his value system and mine. On home, I didn't go to prison in Romania for trafficking people either. Which is the value system of Romania. So, in the grand list of people offended justly by this movie, we've got trans people,

got English people, got Scottish people, Irish people, Japanese people, Indian people, Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean?

Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Because they get married and Austin's like, monogamy, that sounds great. Yeah, that was great. I've never forgotten a book. I can't do an Austin, which is a problem. But yeah, so what happens is they club the situation, or possibly they

went and kid the situation, which is bond is like, there isn't an attempted club in here, both the situation. Police have an else an attempted club in here. Yeah, which is... An attempted club, what is, but the situation. The police have announced an attempted clubbing. Yeah, which is what is on the crime. Which is James Bond is in the gaff with a lot of a jino whatever after the fact and then the villain we forgot about comes to try to kill them. In this case, we're fucking tea here as well, right? Cheers. They do. This is their favorite thing about like fuck, we forgot a guy. Nicknack. Uh-huh, yeah. Nicknack, oh my god.

In this case, in this case, it's random task. Random. Who fucks? It's back on screen. It's the sentence when you know what we now know about random task. Yeah, it appears on the screen and I'm like fuck me. Yeah, it like stalks towards the host's area and you're like,

oh, it is the stress. It is. Um, but so, uh, yeah, he fucking... He brings them champagne and now honey moon's sweet after they've been shagging. Yes. And then a ton of... And then a ton of cloche is a shoe,

because this bit is throwing a shoe, which leads to the line, who throws a shoe, really. I'd even think that was a joke. So that just a George W. Bush in the house, right? I mean, these boots are hurting, and you may find a shoe thrown at you at this point. But I shouldn't defeat him with a penis bump? Yes, he does, with the Swedish-made penis in larger pump. A payoff!

Yeah! We did it! We rode a three-pot joke. Carrie Fisher lobbied for that penis bump to be included. And all it took was just like a little bit of racism. A little bit. He puts the penis bump on the guy's penis through his pants and like fucking pumps the shit out of it until the guy's about to come and then he gets hit in the back of the head

by Liz Hurley with a bottle which... Whatever, same difference, I don't care, I'm almost done with this movie. I will say my last note here says, well, goodbye, what do you mean two more nights? Like, they do a bit with this fucking hold shit up in front of the camera in front of Liz Hurley's head. A second time, yeah, again, set up reminder. Oh, yeah, there was a bit we didn't even mention. Well, we'll have to because they do it in the later films, where like, often walking around and making it in the background.

And then we like, We're like, fuck this. Things keep like, There's no, we haven't fuck this quite badly. The problem is, it's really difficult to do a podcast where the whole like thrust of it is your explaining visual jokes. That's true. Like it sucks shit to do. It sucks shit to outst of it is your explaining visual jokes. That's true. Like it sucks shit to do.

It sucks shit to take this in your head. It's a guy. Right. What he was naked. He's European. Oh. Huh? Oh.

It's not. It's not. Sorry. I said what he was. Million dollars. I said what he was. Million dollars. Yeah.

Didn't even use that one fuck sake 1 million 1 million That's the movie However, we have a science-based system on this podcast It's called the scum system stands for smart cultural and sensitivity Unintervaled violence and misogyny. So on a scale

of 1 to 7, how SMAMI is the movie Austin Powers, international man of mystery? Are the integers high enough, known to mathematics? Because we It's made of pieces, man. What's the highest we've ever read it? This is such a rude thing to ask. No, we don't have the note. What's the highest we've ever read it's something for smart? We've read it's a note before. I think so.

Is it fair to do that with a comedy which kind of has to be a bit pleased for itself? If it doesn't, as always, we take points off for being sincere, which it wasn't. So... Yes, I would say it is. Yeah, it's like too scared to do anything sincere.

So, yeah. I'm rocking my bread to do anything sincere. It's like the very serious. He doesn't sexually assault a woman, which is very sincere of him. Is it sincere about the freedom and responsibility? No. No. No.

Huh? This song No. No. Huh? This song is? Oh. He's got us there. All right. Now, not going to point on too often, fine. What am I going to do? I did one point off of that.

Not only am I getting the shit kicked out of me not remembering what happens in this movie, but the audience is scoring points off the... We are going to study the second movie with a fucking funny job. We're not getting a single thing wrong. Oh, see what's really gonna happen is I'm gonna remember to bring my notebook tomorrow night. That'll be helpful.

If the secret lynchman holds it all together, I'm not fucking it. I don't know, but I'm not fucking fucking it. Apparently, wasn't that fucking valuable, was it? LAUGHTER Sorry, I don't mean to do sort of like hostile like people management on stage. I defended you when you were doing the lumbar to do that. You did, you did. You did, you did.

I know, and what do I get for me? Yeah, I'm going to be fair all my nose were dog shit. So, I see here. Don't look at my fucking notes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I should say. No. We're putting a divider up between you and us. Like a cat driver. Like a civilized wall. Yeah. Soundproof. We're not even going to turn the mic on.

It's going to be great. You know that sign? You know that sign? That's like when light is red, driver can hear you. It's off. Hold time. We cannot hear you. Cultural insensitivity.

Dare I ask. Oh. Oh no. It's high. It's real high. Dare I ask. Oh. Oh, no. It's high. It's real high. It's high. It's not as high as some of these movies, but on the other hand, I don't want to grade on a curve.

So I don't think I can do it less than seven. We've got brown face. I mean, we like brown face. Why is it fair to grade it on the thing that was cut from the script, which is the inventing a racial slur. We didn't look at it. We won't repeat it. You have to look that up yourselves.

Yes. But no, if it's not in the movie, it's like all his dad, isn't it? Like, if it's not on the screen, then I don't care. So he's the curbs. That's right. Curbs are dead. Mm-hmm.

Seven? Seven. I remember the curbs when you said seven. Living that die was an eight. Is this as offensive as living that die? Seven. I remember the curve from your seven. Living that die was an eight. Is this as offensive as living that die? Yes. That is a way. All right.

OK. Unprovoked violence. This is where it's going to get saved, isn't it? This is where he's going to escape. But the skin of his fucked up teeth. It's very low. Like, they unfuck his teeth for the later ones as well. I know it's fucked up.

He shoots a bunch of henchmen, but they are trying to kill him. The guy with the steam roller, the whole joke as he had plenty of time to get out of the way, the bass guy, the bass guy was not a necessary kill, right? Like, I don't think you had to like have the guys head bit and off. We can't have the full crew of our argument be the bass guy. Yeah. Because you've got to you got someone getting by the animal

So I was gonna get eaten by the like What the fuck was it? Sea bass Sea bass It all tempered It all tempered That's the best thing about these bits is when you remember them at the end of the show Another thing that can be said is to be an improvement over a lot of the James Bond films is he doesn't punch a

I said just, yes he does! That's a man, man. They don't know women. It's a man, man. Yeah, unprovoked violence. Yeah, twice. Twice. Oh, do you talk to him?

Oh, yeah. This guy wasn't a satire. He was a straight-up on profile. That's a first one. Wasn't a sassin. It doesn on proper. It wasn't a satin. Doesn't matter, he had no way of knowing. He just goes. Does 0 to 100 just goes on.

Yeah, OK, so two. Sure. Basil's mum. Four? Anyone else? Four is two. I. Three?

Two. Three is two. I'm struggling to think of any other option here. Oh, violence. One of your recon boys. What about three or two? Two, I hate two. OK, OK. Fine. Two. and misogyny. I think 25 that

One million I Am at least this shows how long we've been doing this podcast and what it's like to do I am at least refreshed by a different kind I like to do. I am at least refreshed by a different kind. I'm sorry. Ah! It's like a lot of a cleanser. After a year or two of like drinking hot poison.

You're like, oh, nice cold, refreshing poison. Yeah, the 90s massage journey, I'm like, oh, interesting. It's a new, we've moved up. We've moved up a cold thick. That would be nice. Yeah. That's quite hot to light for. Yeah, but you're right about the kind of like, oh, the've moved up a cold sick. That would be nice. Yeah, that's quite hot. To light for. Yeah, but you're right about the kind of like,

oh, the phone has been, it's gone too far. Like, we need to bring back some, some, some, some, some groovy cats who will like make women realize that they secretly want to be fucked. Yeah, and then- So, since when? No, I've done- I want to get choked to death by a fembot.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back on Saturday. Um. Yeah. Where? Where? I'm sorry, I'm sorry back on Saturday. Um... Yeah. Where? Where? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank God I woke up, man.

I woke you, man. Uh, but yeah, that's... No, we need you to get a falcon of the internet. There's a lot of the entire neighborhood there, universe. I'm sorry, I said the thing about your notes. Fuck you. LAUGHTER I deserved this.

Yeah. There is also, I think, something to be said in terms of like, oh, we're making fun of the fact that the women in the original Bond films are just kind of like robots and it's like you're doing the same thing. Yes. But you can't do that and also then just do it as well. You can't have the two different pastiche as well. They treat them like robots and then do it as well.

It's like... Like the Lizheli climbing a ladder shot, I'm like, that's a point on it. Yeah, it's just fully explosive. And the cats, the like zip on the cat suit, which I am want to talk. But that's, you don't know how she felt about that, you know? Yeah, that's true. Well, though she did apparently ask and receive to keep the cat suit. So, which is a move? It's a powerful move. But yeah, I want to say this is like an eight. Yes, I think I agree. OK, I listened to women, so.

Thank you, I've made that joke ten times so far. Of course, it is on top every time. Every single fuck bag. It gives us a total score of 24, which by the standards of the podcast is pretty bad, but not the worst we've ever had. I think the worst ones we've ever had are still live and let die and atomic blonde,

which I think are like 28. Yeah. Do any of you freaks have the middle head? Don't you fuck? Like if someone else knows, no, no, no, if they know. No, you're not calling that unless you know in your head what the highest scoring movies we've done are. I think it's pretty easy, because it was Atomic Blonde.

Yeah, Atomic Blonde of the Van La Dijk. Like it came out yesterday. Ah, I posted it. I remember this. Damn. Oh, I guess you're all freaks, then. Bye. LAUGHTER

We've been kill Janice Bond. Ah. I'll do it. Ah. No, shit, that's literally all I had to say about it. Yeah, Carrie Fisher walks on stage and is like, hand-wreddon. So thank you so much for coming. It's been a treat. Yeah, do we have anything else to add about Austin Powers? Two. One. More.

Days. Thousand years of kill Janice Bond. Bill Janice won on two of dying light. Yeah. Uh, well, to a dying light. Yeah. Well, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you to the stratum spruce. Sprace.

Thank you to stratum, a place that is in London. And good luck to being home at this rang time. Nice. Project. And all of the lovely people there for helping us out and hosting us. It's an absolute pleasure. we'll be back. Tomorrow night with the spy who shagged me, we have been Kille James Bond. Good night. They're me, Rich. Da ist ein Englisch.