Upstream - S2E30: Rambo Last Blood
Episode Date: August 17, 2023"Before you embark on a rampage of revenge, you must first dig fifty to sixty tunnels" - Alice Caldwell-Kelly It's Rambo again, but this time they turn their profoundly racist attention to the nation ...of Mexico. Content warning for discussion of sexual assault, human trafficking. Before you donate to the strike funds below, consider throwing some money towards Red Nacional de Refugios, a charity that runs a number of shelters for abused women and children, and Centro de Apoyo a las Identidades Trans A. C. , a trans rights charity. ------ THE MOVIES ARE ON STRIKE! SAG-AFTRA and the WGA are both on strike for a number of reasons, from pay for streaming residuals, to the rights to own your own appearance, to the right to not have AIs trained off your work. So if you've got a few spare pennies, why not chip in to help keep movies from becoming Shit Forever. https://entertainmentcommunity.org/ https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/the-snacklist-support-striking-workers And if you're in the UK, the UCU could still do with some help https://www.ucu.org.uk/fightingfund ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/  Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond Â
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Hi, Lessonus. This is Abigail. I was recently approached by a big media organization who I won't name,
but of whom you will definitely have heard. And they asked me to make a podcast for them.
Climbing onto the bandwagon late-size thing.
And I... This is a media organization that has published a lot of transphobic material.
I thought that narrows it down. That's how you identify it.
It doesn't at all narrow it down, unfortunately, in Britain.
And they wanted me to present this podcast for them
on their very, very big network with another lady, who I
wouldn't know.
You were going to be on Times Radio with Flora Gill.
No, no, it was a very, very nice lady, actually,
that they wanted me to present this with.
And I said to them, look, you guys have published a heck of a lot of
Transphobia.
So I said, I will do this for you, but you are going to have to pay me a lot of money.
And I, I, I, I said to them, like working with you would damage my reputation.
And so because of all the transfer with you, published, I am gonna charge you extra for that.
And I'm gonna be very upfront about the fact
that I'm gonna like charge you extra
because I will lose work as a result of doing this.
And so I quoted them a fee list
and a switch was absolutely fucking ludicrous.
I asked for like several thousand parts
in episode to do this for them.
And also I said to them, I want the other
lady who's presenting this with me to be paid the same as me. And I want you to also hire a queer
person under 25 to be the third mic, and I want them to be paid the same amount as me.
Thank you. And I was right kind of you to put my name forward for that.
No, that's okay. And they unsurprisingly said, no, we can't possibly afford this. I named
several of their employees who've published
Transfurbic material and suggested they take the money out
of their salaries.
This did not go down.
Wow.
And so negotiations have now politely broken down as I
hoped and anticipated that they would.
But listen, as the reason I was able to do this is because you
guys support Kil'Jay's bond.
And I was able to go to this massive international media organization
and say, look, there's fucking nothing you can offer me.
You offer me an audience, I've got one.
You're offering me money, like, you can't offer me
enough money to do this, like, it's not worth it,
like, nothing.
We defeated, or rather, you helped Abbey to defeat
a major media enterprise with literally the power of friendship.
Yeah, definitely.
Because all the odds we do it basically for free.
No ads.
Nothing, baby.
Yeah, there's sponsorships.
Nothing.
And it was because of you, listeners, that I was able to do that.
And because of Alessand Dev.
So I just wanted to get that on the record and say on the podcast,
thanks very much for listening to this podcast,
where we watch such incredible films as Chex
Notes, Rambo Last Blood.
Are we ready for the cultural sense of We're so close to being done. We're so, so, so close to being done. We're almost free of it.
You can always tell when we're doing a series because like the last couple of episodes start with the longest sigh I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like first episode, like first episode of a series going into it. Hi, hello, welcome to Kill
James Bond and I'm School of O'Cali. Join us always by my friends, Abigail Thorn and Devon.
Last episode. I was sad to say goodbye to the man from Uncle. I was even a little bit sad to say goodbye to James Bond and Jason Bond.
Jason Bond and his like fisherman ethics. Yeah, the professor chimp. I will not be sad to say Adios to John Rambo.
The thing is, the other ones we've had like running jokes because things have happened that are funny
and we've sort of brought them for like the fisherman
or like all the uncle bits.
Rambo has given us fucking nothing,
but racism from start to finish.
It's depressing, it's a sad series of films.
Yeah, pretty bad.
And we're gonna end on a loan note.
So this is Rambo last blood,
Rambo fifth blood,
Rambo brackets Mexican.
They called this one last blood so hopefully they're
never gonna do another one. And we ended the last one, Rambo brackets, no other title
involved, with him going back home to Arizona, right, to see what has become of his family.
And we now, we find him in his den forge. No, no, we don't.
No, we don't.
You're missing the whole prologue.
Oh, wait, no.
Oh, oh, oh, so you watched the extended version.
I made a mistake and watched the extended version of this.
So would you like?
Correct me about your mistake.
I'm so sorry.
But would you like me to tell you?
Well, why don't you tell me how the official one started it?
And then I'll tell you how the Abby version of this real stuff is.
So the official version of this, the 89 minute version, right?
You know, tight, tight 90 starts with a pan across Rambo's like wall of stuff, his ego
wall, right?
Like he's got like his like vet bro stuff,
he's got like his VFW flags, his shadow box of his medals,
his like photos from Vietnam, you know,
cause like he really didn't end up hating
his country for it after all.
He's like actually cool with it
and it's not something you want to leave behind
in the past.
That's how the like short version starts.
How does the abbey cut stuff?
Oh my God, there's like a whole fucking like, okay.
So in the Abigail extended version,
we open in a massive storm that's taking place
in a big wood and there's rescue team like volunteers.
There's supposed to be a very expensive sequence to shoot
like a rescue helicopter's out.
They're looking for people who are missing on the mountain
and they go, oh no, all the teams have to pull back
because there's gonna be a big flash flood.
Where's that volunteer on horseback we had?
I don't know, but it'd be crazy to be out in this.
And then we cut to the window.
Oh shit.
Yeah, no for real.
Solid snake.
For real.
And then he's that Rambo is there on a horse, right?
And he finds the body of a woman.
He rides on a little further through the storm.
He finds a father and a daughter.
The flood starts coming down the mountain. The father won't come without his dead wife, her home was like, liver, liver, I found
her, she's dead, she's dead. And then he gets swept away by the flood, but Rambo ties him and the
girl to a rock as the flood hits with a rope. And then like as the water comes up over there,
eyes, we get the title card, Rambo. And then later on, the guy that father is dead, but John has rescued the little girl.
And the cops say, oh, good job, Rambo, we appreciate your help.
And then there's even more, because then we got his ranch
and we meet his housekeeper.
Did you guys meet the housekeeper?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Maria, she's there.
We didn't get to get an intro now.
She's in the movie, but you watched a completely you watch the like Frank
Darabont cut a Rambo last blood you like oh yeah because in this he goes he goes home to her
and he says I couldn't save them I couldn't save them and I said just like I couldn't save my
bodies in Narm and she says it's fine John you can't save everybody you've got this is going to be
your lesson for the film and all that we see that he has PTSD again
because apparently being racist
was only a temporary cure for that.
Yeah, it always is.
We begin the short version with him
and his like dudes rock.
Yeah, then we cut to the basement where Rambo sleeps.
Yeah, where he's got,
he's got his old vet stuff up.
Yeah.
He owns by my count two ARs, a bolt action rifle, three identical winch.
So you're looking at these right now.
He's got a tunnel.
He's been hobby tunneling.
Yeah, the masculine urge to dig.
He's got a complex.
He's been digging.
He goes down in there and then he has some PTSD for a bit.
He does it once in this movie and then he's over.
Yeah.
But being in the tunnel seems to be what,
let's set it off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All of these firearms are totally unsecured.
They're stacked up against a wall.
He's been digging out this network of tunnels.
He gets a little bit of PTSD, as you say.
The PTSD thing is best of film than any of the previous ones,
because they throw some LBJ newsreel footage samples in there
and like,
oh shit, he's like back in, back in Narm.
Yeah, he's flashing back to hearing LBJ.
Yeah, he writes, horses really well.
He, he, he, he goes back topside.
Yeah. This bit, oh, I got a bunch to talk about about this bit.
So this is like, at first, it looks like a campaign commercial
for like a Republican governor candidate who's trying to like run
an insurgent campaign because like all it's missing is him shoosing a copy of the affordable
caraxe.
He's got like a truck.
He's got like a farm where they only appear to farm dirt.
There's like haybells.
There's no hay.
I'll talk about that.
How does he afford this place?
It's a fucking cattle ranch.
He got it at the end of the last one.
Where are the cows?
What has he done?
He's running this ranch into the fucking ground
is what he's doing.
How did he get it?
Is his dad, so I think?
Yeah.
He inherited this dirt farm.
And what he does on this dirt farm is he spins horses.
Like, like a beach.
I love spinning that horse.
And he has a great review for the back.
The horse spinner.
He takes, oh yes, he does. He takes this horse out and he has a great review for the ball horse spinner. He take oh, yes
He does he takes this horse out and he spins it like
300 we does like a horse 720 right and then make he likes his dizzy on this yeah
Yeah, he's like turn turn turn the horse is turning gets off the horse goes in talks to a like older Mexican American lady
Who he lives with and says his review of the horse, which is
Turn into great, great turn.
Is that?
Throw that for Baylor.
Primarily.
Where he look for.
You know.
Really tiny turning circle on this horse.
Fantastic stuff.
Great handling.
Yeah, I mean, the thing is, right, he doesn't,
he doesn't farm anything, but he does provide like
lipid saners to the fucking like Austria.
The housekeepers, housekeepers name is Maria, by the way, and she has a daughter called Gabriela who we hear has a way with horses, but she has big dreams, she wants to go to college.
She turns them better than anybody, but she's, she's going to get out.
She would really appreciate this horse because he's a great turner.
She's got a future ahead of her is the thing we should be taking from this scene.
She's going to go to Arizona State. I can't get over that in your vision they cut the opening of
the movie. Yeah. Why? It doesn't sound very good. But also it's very expensive and establishes
the characters. Why? I don't think you need to. I like it better. I like it's sparrer. I think
there are a few things in here that like I have a feeling
I'm going to learn are largely the product of cuts that I will conclude that I initially thought were like the you know braver filmmaking.
Well halfway up I gave up well the pirated version I was watching crapped out and I switched to the normal cuts.
I've only got extended for 30 minutes. Marley good to be pirating, I suppose.
That's true.
But so Rambo does some like, especially right now.
Yeah.
He's been some horses and he does some forging.
He's in the forge because the movie is aware
that people watch forged and fire now.
All he, every time he's upset,
he just goes and forges a knife
and he won't stop quenching it.
I don't understand.
Listen, it's not good blacksmithing,
but it is good self-care.
It's great to not.
Putting the heated thing in the water
is to punish parts of the show.
For sure.
He has fucked up the heat treat on every blade.
He has ever made his way to like no one's business.
We'll not kill.
No.
But so his daughter, sorry,
her daughter, Gabrielle comes to like see him in the forge
and he's like, oh, made you a knife.
And she goes, what?
These days, we only forge like iPhones or whatever.
Yeah, he says, I've made you a letter opener
for when you go away to college.
So you can open letters and she's like,
nobody sends letters anymore. And he's like, all right, you can open letters and she's like, nobody sends letters anymore.
And you can use it to keep boys away then, fine.
Okay, sure.
And in the extended version, she's like,
do you want to talk about what happened last night
in the opening of the movie?
And he says, no, I'd rather go for a ride.
I'm assuming they don't have that conversation in you.
Yeah, just ride.
And yeah, he talks about her future and stuff
and the thing is, right, Stallone has, I think,
I don't know if I'm crazy, right?
Cause I watched this at like three in the morning,
I might be insane.
But the first 10, 15 minutes of the movie,
and I mean, the first 10, 15 minutes
of like the 89 minute version,
it's not bad, like, Stallone has sort of like,
aged into this.
And maybe it's just because I like,
I'm used to him now, and also I think that that like anything delivered by an old actor is like profound. He sounds like,
you know, Johnny Cash, like a minute before he died. He's like, yeah, he's like this old
paranoid traumatized man who's like worried about not being able to protect his like surrogate
door. So when she goes off to college and she's just
like fine. He's also softened a little bit since Rambo 4 when he was like fuck the world on a
caravan and anything here in this one he actually says I'm gonna miss you and she says she's gonna
go to a party tonight and he says why don't you invite your friends around here and the subjects
that we pick up on is he wants to see
her more before she goes away and it's actually quite nice, well done.
It's really pleasant, like it's just genuinely good, like you feel that he's like calmed down,
he's been, I don't know, bailing hay mostly for spinning horses.
Yeah, spinning the horse on my Rambo farm. Centrifuge the PTSD out of his brain.
He's been rotating horses, he's been, he's been,
he's made some hay bales, he's gonna leave them there, I think.
Yeah, some way too close to fucking road, may I say.
They're just gonna like rot in the field, but I'm just gonna roll off into the road, kill somebody.
It's fine.
Okay, I'll say more, just, just, just.
No, only hay, only hay bal. No, no, just, just, no, only, only, only, only, only, only, only, only, only, only,
wide open Arizona land, baby.
Just, just, hey, and dizzy horses.
That's it.
Her, her, her, she's like, my friends don't want to come around here because they think
you're weird because you're enormous and you've dug an elaborate system of tunnels.
And you're like, what if they went in the tunnels and she's like, what?
He's like, I'm like, yeah, he would fucking love the tunnels to be true.
It's true. He flatly just says, show him the tunnels.
And it's like, okay.
Yeah, but that's also treated as like a real moment
because she's like, you've never, you've never,
you know, you never let anyone in the tunnels before.
He's like, yeah, you're going to tunnels.
Talk to Maria later and she's like,
you never let me in the tunnels.
He's like, what? What do you fucking mean?
You never got into that.
Teens, Teens love the tunnels.
Like, by the way, I should also say,
for a woman who like, he was just,
first line with just Spanish.
He speaks to her sometimes in Spanish,
and his Spanish is like,
Where's Deuce?
Which is just, yeah, just really good.
Teens love the tunnel.
You never been on tunnel talk?
It's huge.
They fucking love the tunnels, though, to be fair.
They're all talking about back rooms and shit.
Yeah, they do.
They do.
Yeah.
So I mean, they go in the tunnels, right?
They have a party in the tunnels.
Another great thing about them mellowing
is they're listening to the worst music.
It's like Arizona hip hop.
It sucks.
And Maria's like, oh man, this music fucking sucks,
and he's like, oh, I can't lie, you know,
I get used to it.
And it's like it's nice.
The teens love the tunnels so much
that this boy tries to kiss Gabby and the tunnels.
Yeah, so he tries to kiss her and she's like, no,
and then he tries it again, she's like, no,
and he gives up and he's like, okay, well, you know,
but this does something later, but for now it just like establish she's like, no, and he gives up. And he's like, okay, well, you know, but this does something later, but for now,
it just sort of like establishes that like,
life as a woman is a, you know,
constant air of sexual threat from men, which is true.
It also establishes, in the eyes of the audience
that Gabi is in quote, big quote marks,
a good girl, she is innocent.
And of course, you cannot really construct female innocence without also constructing it as sexual
viability, which is massively good.
And the chin is which is, which is explicit here.
Is it?
But yeah, I think so.
I think she's, I think it's made explicit later.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
The other thing I want to say about Stallone is,
right, he's quite good in this.
I think the acting actually like holds up to like even
Copland, even if the writing doesn't. But there's two things is right. He's quite good in this. I think the acting actually like holds up to like even Copland, even if the writing doesn't. But there's two things right. One is that the script has a
way of ending like scenes with quite a lot of like emotional conflict with one of the characters
just going like, okay, oh, like buy. Which once you start noticing that it happens every time.
It's like they have a big like shouting match and it's like, buy like it's a stage play. They have to
like they have a big shouting match and it's like, by.
Like it's a stage play, they have to,
they have to, they have to leave the stage.
Yeah.
Might as well just say exit stage left at the end of every
stage.
Yeah.
The other thing is sort of the aging thing, which is,
Stallone is like weird PTSD dad and he's quite good at it,
but like by age alone, he really should be like weird PTSD
grandpa.
And it's sort of like the continuing weird mismatch
of like nail actors and their characters ages.
He's in his 70s when he's filming this man.
Yeah, and he's meant to be old,
but like not like old, old, you know?
It's curious.
He's like taking pills, he's like got gray hair,
but he's still like super active and stuff.
And it's like, I don't believe it though.
You see him and you're like, no.
You see him in this movie,
even when he's doing things and you're like,
you're going to die.
Yeah. You are.
You should not be doing this.
You should be offering people a fucking
worth as original from your personal.
What are you doing, brother?
And the thing is people love an old guy like that.
They love fucking Mike from Breaking Bad
for exactly that reason.
It's like, oh, I'm too old to kick anybody's ass anymore.
But like, okay.
So she like, uh, Gabrielle, like corners him after the end of this party.
And she's like, can I tell you something serious?
Uh, I got to like, I have a big emotional conversation.
And she's like, I talked to my friend, to used to go to the same school.
She has found my biological father
who is in Mexico because Gabriela is Mexican-American.
And she says, and this is for Basin,
and when they did this line, I had to get up
and walk around for 10 minutes.
Let me see.
I need to go to Mexico.
Why would you wanna do that?
The change in tone when she says, I want to go to Mexico.
It's like she...
Why would you want to do that?
It's like more door to him.
Yeah.
Mexico, second highest number of tourists in the world last year.
22 million foreigners went to Mexico.
It's a huge country. It's a beautiful, huge country.
Yes. Yeah. But no, the very mention of Mexico has Rambo, like, Los Zetas are going to
behead you, right? Essentially. And he tries his best to dissuade her along those lines
of being like, I've seen the world, you know, I disemboweled
a Burmese guy with a knife one time.
Ripped the throat out one time, yeah.
I exploded a Soviet man with an arrow one time.
I've seen the dark man.
I drove a tank into helicopter and because of that I learned not to go to Mexico because
the world is full of violence.
I waged war on a small town police force in the Pacific Northwest and because of that I learned not to go to Mexico because the world is full of violence. I waged war on a small town police force in the Pacific Northwest.
And because of that, I know that Mexico is a no good.
I was up to my neck and pictured and electrocuted by a random Russian man.
I need I need Rambo to give me a list of countries he thinks are good.
I just I need that because everywhere he fucking
goes he's like it's like more like more like fucking Burma, fucking Vietnam, fucking Thailand,
fucking the United States of America, fucking Mexico, Pakistan, Pakistan, where is good to
me? Man, just tell me. Yeah, yeah, parts of Thailand where there are snakes, yeah, the snake
type, the snake bit of Thailand, he fucking loves that.
So I don't want to insult a young actor, right?
But I'm going to.
It's so weird in this scene to see Stallone out act somebody.
Oh, he's been acting for his whole fucking life.
It's okay.
Like, you can do it.
I think that's harsh.
I think that I don't know who this actor is.
I think she does a fine job.
It's not an easy role. So you're in an easy role for a young actor. I think she does an
acceptable job. Things very serviceable work. I'd like to see her in other things.
She's like, okay, I trust you. I'm not going to go to Mexico because you say it's bad. Okay,
buy. Yeah. So we summarized her biological father left when she landed her and she wants to know why.
That's the thrust of a scene, right?
Is that like Rambo is familiar with this
because biological father, he's like for him before,
like just like in brawl, not like all that warfare.
But he's like, people don't change.
And she's like, you've changed and he's like,
no, I haven't, I'm just keeping a lid on it.
I'm working hard every day.
It's quite good.
And yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's the thrust of the scene, right?
Mm-hmm.
And then he goes into the fucking house.
And it's the next day.
And instead, Maria is having the same scene of Gabriella.
And she's like, you can't fucking go to Mexico.
You're having the same scene in Spain.
You're standing there and just like wasting for the translation, like he's at the U.M.
He's reading the subtitles.
I quite like this scene actually because Gabrielle is getting shouted out by Maria, who
absolutely forbids her to go to Mexico.
And she's looking to, to John to say, you know, will you stand up for me?
Will you protect me?
And John even says,
meekly a couple of times that that's enough.
Like, go easy, go easy.
Don't shout at us so much.
And John in the end just some of like,
let's this happen and it doesn't intervene.
I really liked this scene.
And again, I thought this young actor
conveyed very well the sense of isolation
that both of her parental figures
have forbidden her to do this thing.
I thought she did a good performance
in what is a very difficult role.
I think she did a really good job.
I did not. Yeah, I didn't do that.
Only a reason.
I was like, to even notice her acting.
I mean, listen, it's all out of subjective, but I'm right and you're both wrong.
So we know which way this is going.
Or she was supporting actress for this.
In what?
In this.
No, I don't.
What?
Best supporting actress of what?
The National Film and TV Awards, which I've heard of.
I've heard of it as much as I've heard of like, Dotonys, but like, good for her.
She won an award for this acting.
Okay.
Oh, fuck, it's a child.
I mean, listen, I think that an important part of being a child is learning that
sometimes people will not like all of the stuff that you do, right?
It's valuable feedback.
Well, I mean if you're listening, which obviously you are, um, of course, you did a really good job
And a lot of scenes that are gonna come up in the minute. Yeah. Yeah. If that more real I thought you're really good. Wow. Guess how old she is. How old?
She's older than me. Oh, oh, okay. I the fuck? I know, it was dog shit.
I don't know what the fuck she was doing.
Thank you.
She's 31.
She was 31.
She was in her late 20s, but she filmed this.
She was in her late 20s, but she's...
Man, we need to do something about cinema.
You were really, you were really grading on a curve
where you thought she was like 16.
I thought she was the age her character is.
Yeah, I thought she was like fucking just about to go off the uni.
She's like, oh, she hasn't been acting long maybe.
It is like, no.
She probably hasn't been acting long to be fat, like late 20s.
I, well, however old she is, I thought she did a good job.
I gotta tell you, I'm in my late 20s
and I'm not the fuck I'm doing so.
Oh yeah, I'm like a year old in the her, I don't know.
Yeah.
But yeah, so.
Anyway, of course she defies them
and she goes to Mexico anyway. She turns the car around, I don't know. But yeah, so. Anyway, of course she defies them and she goes to Mexico anyway.
She turns the car around, she goes to Mexico.
The great thing is, when the Mexican
order, you won't be surprised.
Looms into shot, there are very low in the mix,
sinister maracas.
There are.
And it's like, ooh.
I just want to highlight that,
because we had two scenes of people persuading her not to go to Mexico
Someone said the phrase people don't change once a minute for five minutes
It was just okay. Yeah, that's the moral of the story
So when she when she crosses the border into Mexico Mexico is filmed as
Yeah, not yet. Yeah, they hold off on it, not yet.
But it's dirty, it's dangerous.
There are men standing around looking at it.
There's a lot of graffiti, it's like animals in the streets.
It is definitely filmed as like a hostile place to be.
She's presumably meant to be in like Tijuana, right?
But then there's a long shot.
It doesn't give you an establishing name, it doesn't.
No, no, no, it's a big zool Mexico.
But like, it's supposed to be like,
Tijuana, I assume, but then there's a shot of the ocean
which would make it like, I don't know,
given its arrows, I'd like Monterey, maybe.
I don't know, but like.
It's very odd.
The other thing about Mexico in this movie is that it's always
nighttime, that's one of the main things about Mexico. This is the movie is that it's always nighttime. That's
one of the main things about Mexico. This is the only time that it's day. It's when she arrives.
And she meets her friend, Giselle. Oh, now I want to talk about this a bit, Louis.
Yeah. Okay. Right. There are several reasons why I wanted to get a Mexican or Mexican American
guest on the show. And I wasn't able to. And I feel very badly about it, right? And
anything I say about this, I'm probably going to mangle. So I apologize in advance,
right? But on the other hand, I did save at least one Mexican or Mexican American person from
having to see this movie. So, you know, swings around about. Right? So Gabrielle, right,
she's pretty anglicized, right? She's she doesn't speak like a lot of Spanish. She mostly speaks
English as like her first language, and she's like relatively speaking like middle class,
like considering. She's like wearing a gene jacket and like a nice bangle and stuff. Now she knocks
on her old school friend's door, and the fucking the woman who opens the door is fully a Nick Mullin
bit. She's wearing, she looks like she just got out of LA County jail, right? She's wearing
the full chola makeup. She's got like lip liner, she's wearing the shirt that's only
buttoned at the top. And it's like, okay, I see the divide you're making here about
Mexicanness. And it's fucking racist as shit.
She's like really?
She's like very openly sexual
and she wears a lot of makeup
and it's like, she's definitely coded as like,
this is a bad girl.
And it does.
Which is what you become if you like live in Mexico.
Yeah, yeah, it's a bad girl.
It's been a black fucking racist way.
Like, yeah, it's just pointing.
It's just like, it's not, but, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha and that lasts pretty much to the end of the film. That's the movie. It becomes evening. Now we have engaged yellow mode.
Yes.
We've dumped the camera in a bucket of piss.
It's the return of my old nemesis, color grading.
Now, there's something really funny that happens later on
where an establishing shot is graded normally,
and then it cuts in and it's like,
the close-ups are like fucking
Florescent yellow there so they're like tennis ball yellow. It's great
They're fucking unbelievable. No where on earth looks like this
You like it with yellow light, which why would you design you filmed the whole thing on the camera?
They took piss Christ with like it's like
When you filmed the whole thing on the camera, they took piss Christ with.
Like it's like,
you mean, you mean, you mean, man.
Yeah.
Well, the camera who's like,
lens is presumably like entirely pissed.
That's right.
I'm getting to photographers confused there,
but yes, sure.
So like, she goes with her friend to find her dad.
And at this point, it occurs to me,
if you just did a movie about these two girls
finding her dad played completely straight,
it would be like, my shit completely so good.
This scene is so fucking funny.
Yes.
Without me to be?
Because instead of giving it to like,
I'm a lover or like, you know,
friends with a little bit of a Mexican director,
they just like, they go, she knocks on the door,
and her dad is like, I'm a piece
of shit fuck you by essentially, as the, as the thrust of this.
Yeah, she, she, tearfully and way I say it well, actively asks, how, you know, why did you,
why did you, why did you like abandon me after my mother died?
And he just basically says, I didn't care about you, fuck off and don't come back. It's like not much more words than that.
Like, no, fully.
I don't know if there's a change. And I kind of like it when he stood in the doorway and he's talking
around, he's like, wow, you're all growing up. That's crazy. And then when she's like,
why did you leave? He takes a step forward and suddenly he's out of the light of the doorway.
And he's like, fucking lit from below. And he's like, I don't fucking care about you.
Go away.
Why are you here?
And it's this PC, man.
You don't need to come back.
Which is at least they just make this guy
like a regular looking guy.
Like he's normal.
He doesn't.
Yeah.
Like, and based on all of the depictions
of Mexican men after this, this is like, you know, a contrast, right?
Just like God of light.
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
He is lucky that, you know,
he just got to be like normal guy kind of a piece of shit
because she gets out of the thing, she's crying.
And her friend is like, okay, you know what?
You can't drive back to the United States now
because, you know, of reasons you can trust me.
It's late and you're upset.
It's late, you're upset.
Why don't we go to the fucking club?
Yeah, a really good place to go if you are upset and it's late at night is a nightclub.
Crying in the club is a fucking staple.
You have to have done it at least once to be a human. That's right. And so they go to the...
Happy to be inhuman.
They go to the sexually threatening Mexican men on I Club.
And I...
That's the name of it in Big Neon, China.
Yeah, essentially. It's Lapaisa, but yes. I really want to talk about,
as well as the Valorars book, the drug cartels
do not exist, right? Which is, I don't know if it's an uncritical recommend, it is in large
part him settling various, like, intramexican intellectual beefs, but he does have a bit at the
beginning where he talks about the NARCO as a constructed social figure, which involves these like markers
of being new, the rich being us like of the countryside. And inevitably it's makes
skin boots, cowboy hat, big gold belt buckle, right. And every single time that you see a Mexican
man on screen from this point on, it will be that guy with a different combination of boot or belt buckle.
They were in the extended cut to crime bosses in suits and ties, but I guess they went
in your version right up until the end of the movie in which they change unit quite
quickly, but we'll talk about that when we get to it.
So she goes to this nightclub and she's doing the normal things.
She's talking to a guy at the bar and she's going, yeah, I'm on the town for the one
night.
Yeah, no, I'm emotionally unstable right now.
Nobody knows where I am.
Yeah, and he's interesting.
He's curious, yeah.
And he is like touching her sort of against her well.
And this is a noted contrast to the humble white boy who we trust because he eventually takes no for a
answer.
That's Riley's new screen at the humble white boy.
White boy get your ads just one time.
But the common the commoner garden white boy right he is.
He transgresses your sexual boundaries.
Also known as daddy logmix.
Yeah, but he transgresses your sexual boundaries,
but in a way that you don't feel that threatened by you
because you can just push him off because he's a pussy.
Right, but he's like, ultimately a good guy.
Now, the idea of a good guy and transgressing
sexual boundaries, those are coexisting peacefully
within the figure of the white boy.
Now, your
Mexican
not
the common old gun white boy.
We see the white boy commoner garden white boy can be found in a number of environments.
I've just derailed this completely, but the phrase white boy.
Unfortunately, the white boys have been endangered by human beings' impact on the climate.
It's getting a bit of a buzzer, actually.
That's the bit where you turn it off because that's the positive buzzer.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You hate the turn where he starts talking about the environment.
You're like, all right.
You know, you long for the white boy to hit it in a documentary about the white boy, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, for just the one time. She would let a quirked up white boy hit.
We're doing the Atenborough bits because the next bits quite dark.
We're trying to avoid this.
The movie Rambo 4.
No, no, no.
Jesus Christ is so many rap books.
It is important because we got to talk about how the Mexican dude is constructed as a rapist, right?
We do.
Alright, I'm just going to be serious.
Alright, so every Mexican man here is sexually We do. All right. I was going to be. I'm sure. All right. So every Mexican man here is sexually
threatening. That's right.
Learing their touching and they do not take no for an answer.
And ultimately they roofie her ass, right?
Do you want to know the other thing that they do?
That's right. Yeah. What's the other thing they do?
They speak the fucking Spanish unsubtitled Spanish.
And it is left untranslated, which does. Okay.
So obviously that's like, you know, if they're using untranslated
foreign languages as part of the threatening bit of the soundscape, but that doesn't even
fucking make sense because our POV character in the scene is Mexican-American and would
understand what they were saying.
I mean, she's like a portrait, she'd like kind of speaks Spanish, but like, yeah, true.
If you were trying to present this neutrally and normally, which obviously the
Rambus race is important, capable of doing, you would translate the whole thing.
Like, you're in Mexico, these people are speaking Spanish, you would leave the whole thing
fucking translated, right?
But they choose specifically not to on phrases that sound vaguely threatening if they're
not, if you don't know what they're saying.
And it's really blatant.
They do it for the whole fucking movie and it is
devastatingly racist.
Absolutely.
But so she disappears.
And the next thing we know we're back in America
where Maria finds out that she lied about where she was going
and she gets John and John gets in the truck for the roaring rampage of revenge.
But before he does...
Yeah, this happens immediately.
There's no like seen where they discover she's missing or like John goes to the school.
And like,
Oh,
Oh, Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh, Oh,
Oh, Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, the cops can't go south of the border. Yeah. I want to talk about the fuck. I want to talk about this.
Like, yes, okay, so he gets out of the house.
He says cops can't cross the border and down there,
they don't do shit.
This is wrong in two distinct ways, minimum.
So couple of things.
Cops can't cross the border.
Do we know how many American cops
armed are in Mexico right now?
It's a lot that like the DEA has that that's one thing right the other thing
Down there. They don't do shit right
for a missing
American
photogenic sort of quasi-whiteness teenage girl, the like the government would be the
every fucking stop out to find this girl. Like genuinely, like fucking, okay, so I looked
into this a bit and I looked into like-
Race by a war veteran, yeah. Because it's a country with a government, like law bodies. I've looked into like kidnappings of Americans in Mexico.
And you know, it invites comparison to another movie I'll talk about later.
But in terms of like recently, last couple of years, total number I should find was like
five, four of those were by accident.
And the fifth one was an American who was like living in Mexico. Like it's like such a sort of like Fox news thing to be afraid of.
Even if you're talking about kidnapping, you should be talking about like
express kidnappings, which is like a bunch of guys make you go and get all of
your money out of the ATM kind of thing.
Or you know, for ransom, which is another thing we'll talk about later.
But in either case, the fucking like,
the FBI would be on you like sunburn.
Right?
It's crazy.
It's like, you can't.
Referring back to Devala again, right?
I also wanna say, like, there's a lot of this stuff about,
like particularly when you talk about the drug world,
but often about like crime in Mexico in general, right?
It's become fashionable to do this like post-modern thing where it's like,
well, there's like bad guys on all sides and the true thing is like unknowable.
And to a certain extent, that's true, right? It is confusing, right?
One thing you can definitively say about Mexico is there are enough American cops involved.
Do you think we like America has a problem with violating the national sovereignty of
Mexico? Do you think that is something that they're concerned about?
In fact, it was, there was like a solve here that they could have done.
They didn't need to do this because John might have said something like, well,
it's going to take time to do that.
And like the first 24 hours, a critical when someone goes,
that might have been a way to do it. He might have been like, you call the police, I'm going
to go down there and try and find out because you know the first few hours are kind of the golden,
the golden 24 hours, right? So that that what a way they didn't need to do this. It's just lazy.
No, but the status is Mexico is more door. Yeah. Yeah. We got to Gabby who is immediately being held in a sex dungeon.
Oh, okay.
Now, now the sex, okay.
Yeah, fuck it.
Content warning going forward.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Once again, the numerical something I said about Rambo, the Burmese Rambo, which is that much
of this is porn for people who aren't aware that this is porn.
Yes.
Exactly the same. Given that this starts
with a woman being dragged around on a dog collar to establish the sexual dominance of
a Mexican dude, this is 100% torture porn. Again, I want to contrast this with not a great
movie in a lot of ways, a flawed movie in a lot of ways. But have you guys seen man on fire? No, I haven't.
Denzel Washington movie, he's looking after a little girl in Mexico as a bodyguard and she
gets kidnapped, right? It's like problematic in a lot of ways, but it understood the point
of kidnapping, right, in a lot of ways, which is, if particularly if you're kidnapping an American,
what you want is ransom, right?
Like, and this is another reason why it is not commonly done,
is because like that's a difficult thing to do,
increasingly, and like it kind of fell out of fashion
after the 90s, and it's like, yeah,
one thing that's kind of implausible is to
kidnap an American
immediately
Traffic her into sex work along with a bunch of other women that you have trafficked into like forced sex work in a dungeon
It's just it's pure exploitation
I'm sure that this sort of thing does
Happen in real life occasionally, but it this is the thing right? If you make a claim like that, which this movie does,
you have to evidence it.
And I think, particularly, there's a responsibility to you here
for a piece of fiction because this is so starkly a racist narrative.
I think it's like, often a thing, particularly with Mexico.
I think it's a particularly pernicious and racist attitude
about Mexico that you can say any old shit.
Yes.
And because like, terrifying and strange things have happened, you can say this terrifying
and strange thing, well I don't know if it's happened, but surely at some point maybe.
And it's like, well, I mean, why though?
You know, like a lot of the stuff that happens, no one is shy about describing.
And we're having to like introduce this phenomenon.
And we're having to introduce it to this presumably American citizen.
And it's like, it strikes me as this gross insult when you consider the scale of human
trafficking and homicide and disappearances in Mexico and who the victims are, which is... ...execence. Yeah, and my point was that,
whilst I'm sure this sort of thing does happen,
and that, you know, the legitimate subject matter
to make a film about, if you wanted to,
the way that this film depicts it is extremely graphic,
and as you say, I'll ask Paul on a graphic,
and certainly this comes to later on.
I contrast this film to Taken,
which deals with similar subject matter
and does is a bit kind of graphic in places,
but isn't anywhere near as grotesque
and stark in its depictions as this is.
It really is like pornographic.
Like as you say, I just,
she's being dragged around on a leash
and this guy calls them dogs and stuff.
There's not really any need for this.
No, I mean, just aside from everything else,
I, it does occur to me how much money versus how much risk
are you exposing your criminal organization to
by pimping out an American teenager?
Not the rest.
Not to say that like criminals are always rational,
but it stretches the bounds of credulacy.
But anyway, Rambo, he like gets his 1911, and he like gets in his
truck and he goes to Mexico. It is illegal to bring firearms into Mexico. Big signs
in English at the border facing the United States.
God, that was so fun. Is it illegal to bring them? Is it illegal to bring them to the
yellow bit of Mexico? Well, he's going to be yellow bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Everything from the Sonora and the Shisha, he's going? Oh, the yellow bit's fine. Yeah, yeah.
Everything from the Sonora and the Shishar,
the Chell and does it down is like,
after that, you can't bring any guns.
Like, by our California, the yellow zone is for crimes only.
Yeah.
So he enters Mexico, he enters,
what again is like,
sorry, poor California, sorry.
Yeah, it really, really looks like the like the American imagination of Tijuana, right?
Mm-hmm.
And again, I want to talk about cops again, right?
Because I have a lot of thoughts about police.
And okay, there are two things that you definitely cannot say about the Mexican drug war, right?
One is that there are not enough American cops involved.
Two is that they're not enough American cops involved. Two is that they're not enough Mexican cops involved.
And as he's driving through to Havana,
what strikes me is total absence of Mexican cops
when they are ubiquitous, particularly in border towns.
You don't even have like the state police pick up
like a guy hanging off the back with a machine gun.
And it's like part of the reason why
like you can talk about like drug cartels and drug trafficking and the war on drugs is like this
sort of like varying complicities and loyalties of different bits of the Mexican government
and different bits of Mexican law enforcement, but they do exist, right? They are there,
like very visibly that and it's like, no, what this has done is it has made Mexico into
anarchy as opposed to, you know, even the sort of like most aggressive theory of Mexico is like a failed state, at least in
part, right?
Still, like, understands that it has cops, right?
It's just that they're like negotiable, right?
I just think about the law because the idea of like constructing like, you know, this
very large country as total anarchy is...
It's crazy.
Yeah, it's not like anyone comes after John
for what he does in the rest of this film.
Oh, oh.
Oh.
Anyway, so he goes to the yellow district
where Gabby's father lives and he kicks the door in
and says, where is he?
And he's like, I don't fucking know, like she was here,
but then she wasn't here.
She went off with her friend, right?
And John's like, I should have broken your neck,
your neck 10 years ago and then leaves.
He throws his pills away because the pills,
they make you gay.
Yeah, that's true.
If you have a medical condition,
taking the pills for that.
Throw away his Easter dial pills.
That's, that's weak.
The only cure for PTSD that lasts is being racist
and Rambo is back on the racism cure.
That's fucking right. He's back, baby.
He goes to Jazeals. He does need fucking threatens the shit out of this young girl.
Yeah. She sees that she's fucking well. She does well.
Yeah. He sees that she's wearing Gabrielle's like,
bangle from her dead mum. And it's like, okay, you clearly have set her up then.
She denies this very, very stridently.
We know that she's lying and I'm like, yeah, it's a really good acting from her.
And he sticks a big fucking knife in the kitchen table and he says, take me to that night
club where I'm going to hurt you real bad.
The problem with Mexican women is we know that they're not threatened enough with male
violence.
And as such, you know, tremendously vulnerable to it in a way that is like going to get
Rambo what he wants.
He grips her by the rest as well on Nike Holds.
So he's directly physically violent.
Rancid horrific.
He gets into the same Nike Club lapayiso with her.
And I always wonder how guys who are clearly on Revenge missions always get let into nightclubs.
Yeah, if I were a badger, I would be like, no.
You are clearly on a roaring rampage of a roaring.
They're always wearing like a big jacket and boots.
Clearly carrying a gun under there.
Yeah, he is not in nightclub attire.
I'll say that for fun.
No.
No. I would have been funny to see him dress up in a cover tie to get it.
He should have served, when he was going in, mesh,
like eye line, I don't know.
Should have been like, well, if you're going to go into this club,
we've got to dress you up.
And then the next shot is Rambo, like mesh top.
Like, yeah, he should be rocking up, wearing a cowboy hat,
wearing a fake, all that kind of shit too.
Waring that latex casu, would I win out to the club in the night?
He should.
So, so he makes, uh, just our point out, uh, El Flaco, the, sorry, El Flaco, as they pronounce,
a skinny guy, uh, the, you know, the guy who, yeah, probably like, who she was last seen with,
right? And he like follows him out, but as he does,
there is about 50 to 60 establishing shots of a woman.
So you know to pay attention to her.
Sort of wide eyed, wider looking Mexican woman,
watching and at which point I write down,
is she gonna be like a further alley
or is she gonna be like a crusading journalist?
That's exactly what I wrote down journalist alert.
Yeah, same. Yep. Good casting by whoever cast that role. That's a face that says journalist.
It's like no, you need somebody to hold up to say like we're not racist against Mexicans,
right? We know that Mexico is a country that's experiencing a great deal of civil strife
and we we salute its heroes who are struggling against that whether that's you know like some federal agency or whatever or like you know the one honest
state cop whatever or more commonly crusading journalist might have been good if they'd cast a Mexican actor.
It was a joke. Everyone's so sad about where the cast are. Just not kill her about that.
Everyone's so sad about murder Caceros. You're just not killed her about that.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
And yeah, again, just like talking about like US
responsibility at the end of all of this.
This lady kind of looks a little bit like
a Spanish Phoebe Walla Bridge.
Yeah, that's true.
I say that as somebody who kind of looks like
Phoebe Walla Bridge brackets not Spanish.
So I just want to head something off really quickly.
I know Bertha Caceros is on Duran. I just want to make that really clear
But I know she's not Mexican. I could feel the email being typed just like I'm using it as a general stale
So like Rambo follows El Flauco out. She follows him out
Rambo gets the guy to his truck where he is like trying to have sex with a woman
Ambusha him stabs him
a couple of times.
Yeah.
Stabbing the leg to like stop him from running away at which I write down, you know, you
got a femoral, really big vein in the leg.
Well, artery, obviously.
Yeah.
My favorite bit of this is what Rambo does for the ultraviolence here is he like gouges
his collarbone.
Oh, this is very graphic, it's quite disturbing.
Yeah, but like as he's gouging his collarbone out,
there's a reverse shot where the guy reaches for Rambo
with both hands, which I really like.
Really?
Oh, fuck, I hadn't clocked that shit.
Yeah.
So Rambo's like, okay, take me to like where my surrogate dorser is.
And then guys like, yeah, please do not pull my other collarbone out fine.
Yeah, he threatens to snap the collarbone.
Did you guys in your cut, did you get the scene where they're being bust around in the sex
dungeon by a woman? Yes. Yes. Yeah, like where a woman just tells them to cooperate or else.
Yes. Yeah.
Again, this is just like, what is the value of this beyond sort of like,
it's like a deniable pornography?
Yeah, that's what it felt like to me is that we've included this scene,
so we're not just like, it's not just all men doing it.
Yeah.
Deniable pornography is a great name for a band, by the way.
It's a great name for this phenomenon, I think.
I was talking about it in terms of like stuff like hostile.
Yeah, we should coin a phrase.
If we coin a phrase before.
Yes, I really hope we don't encounter any more of that
particular genre in this podcast, but I feel a bit proud.
The problem is that it's so ubiquitous that it gets into like
damn near every genre.
And I mean, in some ways different from others, like, you know, we're all familiar with
the kind of like teen sex comedy that is in part, deniable pornography, right?
But in action movies and horror movies, it's much more sort of like, like a fucked non-consensual
version of BDSM.
And that's like really gross. So Rambo, like goes with this guy to the barrio,
which is like up a hill. It's, yeah.
He's so bad at this. So yellow. He's even yellow. I have a fucking like screenshot open
on my other monitor to not let myself get too nice to this movie. It's just the most yellow shit I've ever seen in my life.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
He, he, he like walks in the place immediately.
The outgoing is alike, you know, fucking hey, an enormous man is here.
He is immediately missing.
Is it a couple of jokes, guy?
Yeah, there's a couple of short to fit where he's like standing out so badly and I'm like,
you're so out of practice dude
And somebody's like texting on a mobile phone or whatever from man who was once asked to infiltrate a POW camp
You're really not good at infiltrating things. Yeah, truly infiltrate shit
Gone rusty those skills are just like atrophied and like more and more cartel guys just start like
Gently following him until they not so gently
confront him.
And so it becomes extremely surrounded and we meet our two main villains who are Hugo and
Victor Martinez, brothers, sex traffickers, gangsters, nasty guys.
Hugo is the one who like hits him with the...
I meet the Rambu, which is...
I do think that's funny. Hugo is the one who like hits him with the I need to Rambo, which is Yeah, that's funny. You go as the slightly more like
Sufferstigated would you say on the one who's slightly more calm and Victor?
Victor is the one who's the crazy the Joker
Mm-hmm. We've seen him doing cocaine
They they so they get Rambo's ID. They find out what is therefore they kick the shit out of him
They kick the shit out of him. They kick the shit out of him.
He did not take this out at all.
He saw that practice.
It's, I like that.
I mean, the like, the getting the shit kicked out of him
makeup and effects are actually very good.
Like they get a swollen face very well.
And yeah, he like sexually menaces Rambo's daughter
like to him some more. And it's like, he gives, he like sexually menaces Rambos daughter like to him.
Some more.
And it's like, he gives, he goes this speech,
which is so over the talk.
He may as well have just like melted
for a Rambos face and said, Mr. Rambo,
I am a misogynist.
Yeah, he says that these are like,
I do not respect women.
I have never drunk the respecting women juice
and I never will.
That's right.
That is right.
These girls mean nothing to me, all my customers,
but because of you, I am now gonna pay special attention.
Yeah, I'm actually gonna treat her worse.
The line, the line is that, you know,
how'd you not show it up?
We would have trained her, used her, and sold her,
which again, it's porn, it's porn.
But so he has like Victor, scar Rambo again,
because this motherfucker loves to get like scarred.
Yeah, they did this in Rambo too.
He's always having his initials cut into his face.
How do they find the room?
Bro looks like an old tree.
He's mostly got initials in his face.
Yeah.
And then he's got like lovers coming out to him
and just carving like big hearts on his
like.
Yeah.
But then they do likewise to Gabrielle while also.
Oh, this scene was really a certain perfectly good heroine getting her addicted to heroin.
Yeah, this scene was so really got quite difficult to watch.
It's calling.
It's genuinely repulsive.
And it's like, it's one of those things where,
and again, I come back to like,
deniable pornography here,
because I think it's one of these things
that is intended to be repulsive.
But then for like, some segment of both the people
making it and the audience also to this elasing.
And I think trying to have it both ways.
I think it's trying to like,
conceal the one with the other by being like, look at how bad this is
and fucking jerking off on the table.
I mean, not to be like my mum about it,
but like there were a couple of,
I don't do this often,
over points in this film I genuinely had to look away
because I was just like, oh, this is just too awful to watch.
Mm-hmm.
I know that makes me sound like a bit of a fucking old lady
and not a super cool-
Oh, no, not a soul.
It's trying to shock you.
Yeah.
And the fact that it's successful at that
by going for sort of cheap heat, as it were.
Well, much like Rambo 4, it feels like one of those comedians
is like, are you triggered?
Are you triggered?
Are you owned?
Yes, actually I am.
And what have you gained from this?
Like, yes, you've upset me.
Congratulations.
Like, no, I don't actually don't like watching this.
Thank you.
Yeah. So Rambo gets his ass kicked and then he gets rescued by the journalist. I mean, congratulations. Like, no, I don't actually don't like watching this. Thank you.
So Rambo gets his ass kicked and then he gets rescued by the journalist.
He gets like stitched up.
She gets a like rape montage.
Like there really is no better way of pushing it.
That's basically it.
Yeah.
Who does Gabby?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's given a lot of drugs and other things are implied.
But John wakes up in this journalist flat and she says, I'm an independent
crusader journalist, John Rambo. So yeah, we find out that this one is a journalist.
We also find out that her sister was like disappeared by the same brothers.
And Rambo's like, okay, I have had four days
to heal up my face where I've been in like a coma
or whatever.
He's fine.
There's like a hammer that she's got for some DIY out
and he's like, okay, I'll be right back.
I'll do some old boy shit.
Okay, he's not sinking this through.
He's nice.
And also Raid II did it better, I'm sorry.
Oh, no question.
So he goes to a brothel.
And hammers the shit out of everybody,
like hotline Miami style.
And the thing is,
the brothel he goes to is the one that
Catherine is being held.
I just, I strongly think about the end of taxi driver.
And how one thing that Scorsese managed to capture in that is that
if you're a sex worker, having your rapist slash abuser, slash employer, slash soul drugs
upon supplier, splattered all over you is not doing you that much of a favor.
It's very clear, too. They make it clear. All the girls like, no, I'm not leaving.
What do you do? Everyone he walks into the room and he's the guy with a hammer and then
says to the girl, come on, let's go. And she's like, no, what are you fucking insane?
Why go where? What? No. No. Yeah. But he does find Gabby who is, I mean, okay, it's been four days.
So in four days, she is covered in...
She looks like the Amy Winehouse map of the Croydon Tramlink, right?
It's like four days.
How do you...
Like...
She's had a lot of heroin.
She's had so much fucking heroin in four days, dude.
Like, she is coaching.
Either that or the person injecting her
with a small amount of heroin was very bad at injecting it.
Mm. Well, they got someone who used to work Either that or the person injecting her with a small amount of heroin was very bad at injecting it
Well, they got someone who used to work in the gender identity clinic because of the bottom it's
Yeah, they came and said do you want to do something less cruel?
So yeah, she looks like shit.
He like carries her out. She's in a very bad way.
She's had no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Once again, after Rambo Burma,
all of these other women can just go fuck themselves, I guess.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
I mean, the thing basically is that he takes this broadening
and leaves.
Yeah, takes it, takes it, puts her on put some truck leaves drives northward everyone else fuck them
They immediately get out of Tijuana. They're on like a desert road
Yeah, mate
Absolutely just makes it through these border checkpoints with them
I believe they're still in Mexico. It makes it at this point well
They're in a minute right because John John here makes a a critical error which we'll mention later
But driving
back, you know, Gaby is speaking in and out of consciousness. And we do get a nicely written
bit where John is trying to encourage her. And he says, how proud of her he is and how much
life she's all had ahead. And he says that, you know, you being good and innocent and being
a part of my life has helped me to get better and become mellow since the events of Rambo 4
when I killed all those people in Burma.
Mm-hmm, ripped that guy's throat out.
And then as is the franchise's way, she immediately dies.
Yeah, she dies at the top and I write down call an ambulance.
Exactly! Why didn't you take it to the hospital?
Poor thing! Car!
Car! And was like, stay awake.
What do you mean? She's dying! I just have to get you back to America
and then I guess you'll like heal
because it's like when you come up from the depths
and fucking tears of the kingdom
and your hearts will be restored.
What?
No, take it to a fucking hospital.
You fucking ate.
They have those in Mexico.
You can look it up.
She loses consciousness and again, I write down,
call and presumably this is an overdose
They have great hospitals in Mexico
Not only will they heal her overdose
They'll also give her a great fucking breast augmentation while you're there for cheap
But like literally right okay
Are you familiar with her lower chemical called naloxone?
Your friend and mine you can carry some
You can get some and you can get some,
and you can carry it around.
And a great thing about it is,
when somebody's dying of an opioid overdose,
you just, you hit him with some of that.
You can't anymore.
I don't know, it's all being used by cops for fentanyl now.
Mhhhh, shame.
Yeah, so yeah.
I know, say, should have taken it to the hospital, dumbass.
Oh, wait, 2019, yeah, he could have 100%,
it could have...
Should have, should have just got some naloxone. It's also known as Narcan. taking it to the hospital, dumbass. Oh wait, 2019, yeah, he could have 100% it could have.
Should have just got some naloxone.
It's also known as Nakhon.
It, you know, if you can find it in your jurisdiction
and it's legal for you to carry around to do that.
It's holding up.
Just to get a good thing to do.
You may not need it, you probably won't need it,
but just to get a good thing to do.
Like having insulin on you, you know?
Mm-hmm, yeah, thanks.
And yeah, I mean being Nakhon by all accounts,
fucking sucks because it's like turning all the pain receptors and your body back on at once
But it does stop you dying of an own and like an opioid overdose, which is what she's I guess doing here
Yeah, and if you call an ambulance John Rambo they would
We get to faster than an English one would yes, I remember killed this girl by in action basically
It's like Charlie neglect 100 percent
But but fortunately by inaction basically. It's like Charm the Glax, 100%. But fortunately, when all you've got is a hammer. Oh, you're nervous.
Yeah, you can't hammer someone out of an overdose.
There's one thing I'll say.
Mm.
But she dies and he makes it back to the ranch and Arizona
over on the, on the, on the,
absolutely.
He does it.
How does he do that?
He's great ease by driving through a single fence.
It's like a, above to wire fence, like not a high one,
like an agricultural barbed wire fence
was like two strands of wire.
And a sign that says,
US border, please no quasi.
And I gotta tell you,
they're building a real fucking big ass border.
Like,
The border wall comes up later.
They're a shot subit.
They're a shot subit. That's literally it. It's not just the Rio Grande.
They're building a full wall.
Yeah.
So he crosses the border really early.
And...
It's a gate.
Is the tevac down.
But it's necessary.
It'll work.
It's important.
And Maria is like, you know, sees that her surrogate daughter has died and is distraught.
There's a nice white shot here where Rambo walks up to her and like tries to tell her.
It looks like he's trying to hold her, but she just like brushes him off and runs to the
car.
I like that because it's a white shot.
There's no fucking voices.
It's silent.
I think it's, there's like four or five good shots
in this movie and everyone with my look at it
and I'm like, fuck, fuck, it could have been good.
Yeah.
So at this point, we go back to the broth
or where the two brothers are like,
ah, it's that crazy guy Juanito Arrambo
who did all the shit, we gotta get his ass.
Like, we gotta get him back because like we gotta get him, but because why?
Yeah.
Because why, though?
Why didn't they just cut their losses,
like they fully were fine?
Mm-hmm.
And so, like, Rambo begins...
Well, they bury Gabby,
and Maria says, I'm gonna go and live with my sister
for a while, there's nothing for me here.
John tells her, I'm just gonna resume drifting
like the start of Rambo one.
Which would have been good, I'd like to too.
But no, actually he's gonna do the plot of Home Alone.
Yeah, wrong.
So here's where the different movie starts.
I noticed that when I watched this movie,
there were two movies.
That was the first one that was like,
I don't know, I like it was racist, sure.
But it was like, it was slow know, I like it was racist, sure, but it was like, there was like, it was slow,
they were trying to build something here,
they had like a girl for him.
Then the second movie is,
do you remember Rambo 2?
Remember Rambo 4?
We're doing it again, maybe.
So we're the first five minutes of Logan
and then we had the like 45 minutes of taken
and now we have have the equalizer.
Yeah, it's like a shitty cake with some quite nice icing.
Yeah, because we have to have some paranoid home defense shit because that's that kind of porn now.
Yeah, and genuinely the idea here is that the cartels, the cartels themselves already a a sort of like questionable figure are gonna attack a
farm in a merit. This is a genius fantasy shit. Preparing for the Mexican cartel again,
yeah, as you said, questionable if they see anything. Come across the fucking border to Arizona
and commit like some sort of large scale assault upon his ranch. That is what he is expecting to happen.
He's gonna bait them into it though.
But the thing that the Mexicans don't realize
is that this man's been in Vietnam and he knows.
The man is insane.
This man has been hobby tunneling
for several fucking years.
He is 75 years old and he huge on tunnel top
knows all the punji stakes shit. He won't stop doing it.
This is my favorite part of the movie, like earnestly in a sort of like way I can laugh at,
because what they do is a montage of him setting up traps and it's like got inspirational heroic
music over it that keeps going as the traps get less and less rational. And as we cut to like the li- We need to lick the like, or something. So long strings of the like, you know,
mournful music over the noise of him,
hitting a claymore mine with a hammer
to affix it to a beam.
I just, he's doing also,
he's setting up the ponji sticks, he's got the,
he's like got gasoline and a big trench
that he's cut across the fucking land.
Yeah, he builds a flame for gas, yeah.
Yeah, he fucking, he's like, he's got all this shit, he's got a map,
he keeps cutting back to him with this map of the ranch and he is just putting big like Sharpie X's.
On this map and I'm like, God, I hope you have written something more detailed somewhere else.
He's putting a big X where he's done something.
And he sharpens the letter opener.
He sharpens the letter.
They do a bit where he like practices a throw and the throw is dog shit.
Where he's like, he's throwing this fucking throw knife.
He forges another knife because that's what he does every time he's upset.
We established that dog shit throw. He has a photo of Gabrielle with him because this is what she would have wanted.
I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure.
Pretty sure.
I remember she was an artist.
They made a big hay about early in the movie.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
There's badly she might have wanted an ambulance.
No, probably wanted some lock zone.
Yeah.
She wanted a lot of things, right?
But she's dead and it's roaring rampage of fucking revenge time
All right. Yeah, so he goes back to Mexico to see car. Wait, hold on a second. Before we do that
I do want to say one thing which is I have a suggestion a world-class suggestion for how this movie could have
gotten an Academy Award and changed to us just alone's whole career, right? Which is you make this
exact same movie, right? You don't change a fucking thing
about it except I've been thinking about how the book Wasting for the Barbarians by Joan Curtsy a lot.
And then what you do is you haven't built all of the traps up to the bit we just talked about.
And then you run out the last half out with nobody showing up.
Nothing fucking happens because they're in Mexico.
Yeah, and he just has to live with it like in his sort of like paranoid farm full of traps
waiting to go. Maybe he can have the end be like he like fucking claymore himself. I accidentally
sit off a trap slowly pull back and just see this like paranoid old man or with a shotgun on a
rocking chair just like pulling back and back. Yeah, you do you need to do the same ending but like
you just nobody shows that. It doesn't have to kill anybody. Yeah, no, we shouldn't kill anybody.
The Alice cut is the Alice cut. You could genuinely like fan make that. But like so just nobody shows out. It doesn't have to kill anybody. Like you can't kill anybody. Yeah.
That's the Alice cut.
You could genuinely like fan make that.
But like so instead what he does is he goes back to Mexico to provoke them into coming
after him, which is accidentally a better explanation for a lot of the sort of like home
defense paranoia is like.
Yeah.
It's like defending defending my home against the people I've deliberately provoked.
I got a tell you have ever seen where they decided to go after him could have been caught and
that would have been no fucking difference.
Truly.
But he goes to Carmen and Carmen says, you can't change anything, you just got to move on.
And he says, I can't move on.
Feels like my heart's been pulled out of my chest.
I want revenge.
Yeah, I'm also very pro revenge.
That's just as a person.
So I thought revenge is good actually.
Yeah. One way of moving past trauma is to defeat the enemy that caused it. We're all
clear about that. And I mean, like I like his sort of like advocacy for revenge. And I
also like the characterization of Rambo as a guy who is like unable to move past anything
that has ever happened to him. Like he only like he can only displace it into something else
that requires revenge, which is interesting.
Yeah.
Again, unintentionally about a movie.
Yeah.
He goes to like El Flakor's place,
he likes Stabs a couple of guys.
We do get very quietly something, something surprising,
which is we see Maria praying to a big spooky skeleton,
Raleck, and I suspect that what they've slipped in there,
not that I can prove this,
is a very rare, positive depiction of Santa Muay Thai,
where anytime else it comes up in Hollywood,
it's like, that's the fucking Mexican death religion dude.
It's like, you found a good way to like,
you know, sort of imbu this with some shit.
It's, I gotta tell you, I'm unfamiliar, but I trust you.
The other thing I noticed is that he's using the fucking ladder opener in this scene to
kill all of you, man.
He's using the fucking ladder opener, remodel ladder opener.
He's using it.
Yeah, sure.
We don't see what he does to Victor, but in the morning, he does to our antagonist, who
are established antagonists, who has a character.
That's interesting.
There's this Netflix series called Voix, which is a series of like essays about cinema
and one of them is mentioned, so like the revenge movie.
And says that one of the things that, you know, it's easiest to do with a character who
has died, who is the like, you know, inciting incident for revenge, is you reduce them to
a token, right?
Yes. like inciting incident for revenge, is you reduce them to a token, right?
Yes.
Whether that's like, you know, John Wick's dog, right,
is a token of revenge.
In this case, the lesser opener is a token of revenge.
And once you notice this, you can't stop seeing it.
Right.
No, you take a character who is not very well sketched out
and you retain that emotional locus
by focusing it down into an object.
I've done this in stuff that I've written.
Good, the words, it's an effective strategy.
This is the letter opener.
He's using it to kill people.
He kills the antagonist.
He's one of our named antagonists
to the movie who had a character off screen.
And that's fine.
Flaco trap house.
He enters the Flaco trap house.
Okay. Well, the Ramco trap house is the one he's just built.
Fuck, that's really.
He's beat for that. It was a really easy little punch.
I do the assists. I don't even know I'm doing it.
It's so much easier to punch up than to come up with something new. Please.
He, he, he like, he decaffeinates the guy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Decaffeinates him actually. He doesn't just, he doesn't he decafinates the guy. Right. Yeah. Decaffeinates him actually.
He doesn't just, he doesn't just decaffeinates him.
Ever since I see hot furs, I can't help but to say decaffeinate, what I mean decaffeinate,
because I think it's funny every time.
Right.
And it is.
I can't stop.
Please help me now.
So you go find his brother decaffeinated with Gavin's picture stabbed into him.
Yeah.
With the letter open up.
John dumps his head onto the highway.
I do wanna say at one minute,
at one hour, four minutes in a one hour, 29 minute movie,
this is the first and only appearance of Mexican cops.
And all they're doing is sort of like standing outside,
shoulder to shoulder, with the car tell guys with AKs.
And it's like,
that is so perfect in a complete misunderstanding of Mexico that it almost circles back around
again to being an accidental point of out police corruption.
It's really good. They hard cut to, yeah, they hard cut to like a siren going off. And
then obviously it's untranslated.
Max, of course.
Max, I'm translating it.
And it's just like Square Brackets reporters clamoring in Spanish.
You're like, great, fantastic.
Yeah.
There's nothing.
So, what they got to do at this point is go on their own roaring rampage of revenge.
I want to highlight one thing that is really fun.
There is a shot of Rambo in his car where he's like, you see his face
in the in the wing mirror. That's the way they've set the shot up. And it's distorted in such a way
that it is deeply deeply funny. It's just like he's it's a one makes that the episode.
It's so fucking funny. Please make that the episode. Yeah, okay. I'll take it away.
So what they do is they own the R&R and R&P of revenge. If you set out the episode. Yeah, okay. So what they do is they go on the
roaring rampage of revenge. If you set out on the journey of revenge, you should first
dig 50 to 60 tunnels. And yeah, and then they send the fucking cartel speck ops squad to
Arizona. Yeah, they're pretty good at up these guys. They, well, I have some thoughts about
that actually, but they use used the border tunnel that they have
to kill one guy because he decaffeinated their boy.
And at least we do prove that the border wall is useless because we get some long shots
of the border wall here and they just go under it.
And as you say, they're all kissing off.
Another Republican, Hawking Point, if we keep a track in the round.
A series that's three. The border wall should go like 60 feet underground as well.
Well, the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a tunnel is a good guy with several
tunnels.
Yeah, we want to make sure not even fucking worms can migrate in that area.
But it's rusted.
And so they show off in their like convoy vegetables.
The fucking, the one brother is wearing that one airsoft cross
draw vest that you get for cheap when you Google cheap tactical vest round. And yeah,
what happens is Rambo takes out the first truck of them with the massive flame for gas
that blows up all of his fields. And you would hope make someone call the cops.
Thit, right.
Okay, starting now.
I think it wasn't a postman.
This is different movie, and it's fine, but it's a different movie.
He just has like a pressure plate in his...
What if the mail man?
Yeah.
Right.
Postman Pat and Jess just got fucking annihilated because they tried to deliver an Amazon package to Rambo.
So what you get, I'm sorry Jess, it's a shame.
Oh, it's smooth as Pat.
And it's back in the open.
Ah.
The whole rest of the movie is.
I miss Goggins isn't getting those flowers after this.
I got time and Sam coming in and they're all
that it's fine.
Every, every like Rambo movie has a court-ordered
Rambo is hunting us scene.
And this is the rest of the movie
is the Rambo is hunting these men scene.
The stance that the Rambo series takes, basically,
is that experiencing Gareal Warfare makes you an expert in it.
Yeah.
Everything this man has ever done
has been a vey at contactic.
Yes, not a matter.
Yeah, absolutely.
And even slightly.
So do you remember that scene in First Blood where the cops go into the forest and he uses
the, like, forest traps and shit to get in First Blood?
That the reason that scene was good was because it raised the stakes and it also told us
something about the character, which is like, oh fuck,
this guy really is like proper fucking mental. And it came like in the first or second act,
later movies like Rambos 2, 3, 4 and now 5 make that the final act. And it's not entertaining
anymore because it doesn't raise the stakes, it doesn't tell us anything new because it's
just violence. It's just like he's doing cool Ramb shit and it's like and I already know this. The fire like should be him crying every time.
Right. That's what they should have taken forward from Rambo one is they should have been
like it's good if the day you want is him crying. For sure. So so the the cartel guys descend
into the death squad descend into the tunnels and Rambo. This is a whole unit we've not seen before.
Like, I don't know.
The cartels are speck up squad.
I don't have an understanding of cartels in general.
Maybe they have guys with this.
Like this has used to be especially.
But this whole scene is just units we've never seen
before being deployed.
And it's meaningless.
It's nothing. it's schlock.
If you remember, the next can drug cartel,
right in, kill each other, it's fine.
Just remember, remember,
remember, hold your hands, don't knock right in.
Sick of hearing from you, fuck off.
So they descend into the tunnels and Rambo hits his,
hits his intruder alert playlist, you know, the thing that you have when you,
it's all like a thing.
It's like, it's an easy thing.
What you do is you get your like smart home thing hooked up
to your burger alarm hooked up to your like assistant thing.
So when it goes off, you have Alexa or whatever.
And all of the lights on full red and blast
max volume black dresses, there's nothing here worth dying for on repeal.
Like Alexa activate roaring rap page of revenge.
Do you guys not have, is that just a thing that like me and Rambo do?
I don't have that many punji stakes set up in my house right now.
I mean, I don't have, like, I mean, there was the one time I chased a guy out of my
house with an AK band at, but I mean, I mean, I genuinely do have the colored lights
and the music playlist.
Yeah, I've been like, sexual lighting, that's short, that's different.
Not for this.
Yeah.
Well, that's just functionality you got to add.
You got to have it so that, you know, you hit the like big red intruder alert button and it turns real bad real fast.
That's the benefit of the influencer lights though is when you can use them threateningly for a while.
You're using the instead of using my diffuser to diffuse the special pharomone oil that makes people horny.
I should use it to just spray petrol and set people up.
The referencing this special pharomone shit and I really don't.
I have it. and set people up for referencing this special pharaoh moan shit and I really don't.
I have it. I believe it.
I think a lot about a movie that we,
you know, it's very ramborelated
that we haven't actually talked about,
which is Hot Shots part Duh.
And there's a throwaway joke,
I wanna say Colin Mocker,
one of the who's landed,
is it anyway, comedians,
who's playing like a combat engineer,
like a sapper.
And his joke is, when I get home from the war,
I'm gonna get like a wife and two kids,
and a dog, and a house with a white picket fence,
and then one day I'm gonna set my charges
and I'm gonna blow the fuck out of all of them.
This is perilously close to what Rambo actually does.
This entire finale has the feel of a deadliest warrior dramatization
Yeah, truly where they like really want the Viet Cong to win
We need David when I'm to like explain this to us. It's so comical like this. It's a different fucking movie
It has nothing to do with the previous shit. They're like all right. Here's the action scene
And these guys getting fucking taken out by like P Pungy steaks and by fucking like, claymores. And
Rambo is moving about these tunnels, like he's 50 years younger
than he is. And they're achieving that by speeding him up
quite obviously in a lot of shots.
I have mixed feelings about that though, because in all of the
other, he's hunting them scenes, he just like appears from
place to place. This one gives you a sense of how much fucking cardio is involved because all of the time he does this, he just like appears from place to place. This one gives you a sense of how much fucking cardio
is involved because all of the time he does this, he kills the guy and then just like jokers in the opposite direction.
He's getting a lot of like, yeah, cardio and sure. The CGI blood slatters pretty bad. Well, he got all that cardio in from rotating those horses.
Again, it's building. Should he use the horse? Should he use the horse? Should he use the horse building should he use the horse should he use the horse should he use the horse. I also I think a lot about how if you have a kid in America, she's
way more likely to like get shot in her English class than to be kidnapped in Mexico. She's
more likely to be killed by a toddler who's found his dad's gun. Yeah, but the thing is,
it's very hard to do a roaring rampage of revenge against
the Todd. It's really fucking easy, actually. I can kill a toddler like fucking nothing. What are
you stupid? You can't draw that out over the course of like an hour and a half. You're
a good. I could take as long as I wanted to kill a toddler. Also, statistically, if you have a
child in America, she's most likely to be killed by you or kill a toddler. Also, statistically, if you have a child in America,
she's most likely to be killed by you or someone she knows.
Yeah, that's right.
It's just a fact.
But it's very hard to do a roaring rampage of revenge
against yourself.
I've been trying for years.
But like, you have to like make this the threat in order
to have people who think that they're like Rambo
convinced that they need to have five guns.
It doesn't work.
He's atomizing these, but if this was the movie
you wanted to make the whole time, right,
why did you make the fucking first half of this?
Mm-hmm.
Why did you make the other movie?
It's coming up on fucking stupid.
He starts atomizing motherfuckers by the end of this.
He kills all of them except the last guy
who he pins to the wall with some arrows.
He has a whole fucking spiel for this guy.
This is the last Rambo movie and he's going out on a high note, right? So he kills all of these these Mexican speck ops guys, sure, whatever. And then he gets on the radio to this guy and he's like, Oh, I saved you for less.
Yeah, he gets on the radio to this guy like, where's this?
And he's like, I want to live follow the lights and he starts collapsing the tunnel.
He blows that shit up.
This guy makes it just out.
He's in the barn.
He's looking around.
He's, and we've seen, we've seen Rambo set and shit up in the barn.
So we're like, what's he got planned?
But he comes out of there like it's Rambo 4.
He just arrives with a fucking bow and arrow
and he shoots this guy in every individual limb.
Yep.
And then he slowly approaches this man.
He walks up to him, there's drama.
And when he's on the radio to him earlier, right, he repeats that line from earlier on,
he goes, listen, you're going to know what it's like to have me cut out your fucking
heart, you know, because that's what I've been through.
Yeah.
And he fucking does it.
He walks up to this guy and he cuts his fucking still beating heart out of his chest
Movie does not know how big a heart is and that's huge the movie
No, it's not I'm afraid he sits on his porch in his rocking chair in his blown up farm
His farm is coated in fucking holes where his tunnels have collapsed
Farm is coated in fucking holes where his tunnels have collapsed. And of course, there's no cows left.
Yeah, the hay bales are going to fall into the collapsed tunnels.
And I'm just like, first of all, he doesn't even fucking die,
which is the polite thing to do in these circumstances,
right? When you're sitting in a rocking chair and you've been
incidentally shot a couple of times, it wasn't important,
didn't mention it, but like, you'd hope he would die, but he doesn't even do that.
And then, I'm just like, he does this monologue
about how this is the only home he's ever known,
which really hurts some time monks' feelings.
And then he goes, I'm gonna have to defend this forever,
the vote John Rambo for Governor.
And it's like, it's garbage.
It's garbage.
Is the sheriff not Not have any question.
You've blown up like a decent part of the county.
Again, my tie-ad.
This is the second time, John Rambo,
that you have waged war on American soil.
They're gonna run your name and find out about the fucking thing.
Like the fucking Rambo one.
They're gonna run.
You're fucked, dog.
You've killed 40 to 50 Mexican people.
It's unclear.
In a tunnel, you've ripped a man's heart out of his chest.
Sergio Puro-Manchada, great work with the acting in the first half of this movie.
It's a shame they made you just mostly scream for the second half.
Yeah.
You've to take a man in Mexico.
You killed a girl, but you're so going too jail.
You're going to get extra diced into the fucking out of Plano, man.
You can't.
Not in Arizona, you're getting the chair, dog.
What are you fucking doing?
And then somehow.
That's the moon.
No, it's not.
Oh, it's not.
What's not? Post-credits scene, John Rambo, it's not. Oh, it's not. What's not?
Post-credits scene, John Rambo, it's called the Avengers Initiative.
I'll take it down.
Did you not watch the credits?
No.
Not all the way through, because I don't want to kill myself.
I did.
The credits, yeah, fine.
I watched a bit of the credits, right?
It's mostly...
It's shots of the first couple of Rambo movies, like slowed down and like
upscale to 4K.
It's a scope, to something.
Yeah.
Well, it starts off like showing us a montage of the first few Rambo movies.
Remember Rambo 1 and like Rambo 2 and then Rambo 3, Rambo 4 and then it shows us this
movie to the point where it's like, remember 5 minutes ago when Rambo cut that guy's heart out?
It's just like showing you a montage of this movie.
And then the final shot, in case you thought Rambo died,
was Rambo gets on a horse and rides away from the ranch.
Fuck off.
Yeah, no, I'm looking at this.
No, actually, I'm just brought it up.
Jesus Christ.
Because obviously people thought he died at the end,
and they were like, oh, we want to have another Rambo.
He turns that horse
And it in case you want to make Rambo more blood one kind of sick fucker would make a Rambo six he's
77
What are we what are we leaving a sequel hook open for the man is dead?
He is fucking in his
The man is dead. He is fucking in his...
She'll above his Rambo junior.
He is an octogenarian, right?
Well, he's not his ascensionarian, but like he is dying away.
We can't make this man make any more Rambo movies.
It's cruel.
It's hell-bent-of-you.
Transplanted pun.
Let's do it.
That's gah.
There's not another scary nation for United States. What are you going to make him do?
Let me just point you to the entire continent of Africa, why don't I?
And that is Rambo, Rambo.
Rambo, Rambo.
Rambo better not fucking you too.
I hope not.
But we do running very long on time here, so I apologize.
But we do have a science-based racing system
It's called the skum system of Santa's mom cultural and sensitivity and provoked violence and stuff.
If John Rambo returns in rap post six, I am going to kill myself in the cinema.
In the wage of roaring rampage of revenge against yourself in the cinema.
Yeah, I'm always waging of roaring rampage of revenge against the self. That's fucking Marxism.
All right, that's a real life. Yeah. Oh,
House mommy mommy. No, no, no, no, zero. I agree. I agree. None. Yeah. Truly. It's like entirely honest. It's like no, you should be afraid of this stuff.
Yeah, there's not really very many like movie lines the way he's like, oh, I'm gonna like you.
movie lines the way he's like, oh, I'm gonna like you. Brutal steer.
No, I didn't.
No, I don't think he has any.
That's great.
Let me ask a question to you.
Cultural and sensitivity.
10.
10.
Yep.
All right.
Pass.
Unprovoked violence.
10.
He invites these motherfuckers across the border.
So he could kill it.
It's over by the time Gabrielle dies.
That could have been the end of the movie.
It would have been a great ending.
All the violence is unprovoked.
10.
You can't protect anyone, John Rambo.
You can't even get a little necklace off of that lady anymore.
Yeah, where's his necklace?
Speaking of tokenizing the dead's.
I want to give it points for the kind of very gratuitous,
like, pornographic nature of the violence.
Like, yeah, 10.
Yeah.
That's right.
Well, fortunately. We're here from the sojourny. Tan. Well, if not higher to be honest
Yeah, yeah
I mean well okay, Tan, Tan might be too high hang on because like it's not a mission because there are women in there women are
A main part of it, but the the purity of women is one of the main like focal points of this movie.
A lot of virgin horde dichotomy. All of the threat of Mexican man is sexualized.
That's right. It's true.
We have, I mean, I really can't get over the fact that the phrase rape montage is an accurate
description of like one part of this movie. Yes. Yes, this film definitely uses the depictions of violence against women as that kind
of denial of pornography entertainment.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm. You might have told me around there actually I could be tempted to give it a turn.
I only can remember what the Spanish for tennis.
Is this the most misogynistic film we have ever seen though?
I genuinely, I mean, I would put it up there
against Goldfinger any day of the week.
So we gave Goldfinger a nine, we gave Rambo four a nine.
I think this is worse than Rambo four.
I think this is worse than Rambo four.
In that case, this is the first 10
we've ever given for misogyn.
Mm-hmm.
Well then.
Well, yeah, it is saved by its zero-smarm score, but still gets 30, which is the worst thing
we've seen in a wild bar Rambo 4, which is still the worst thing we've ever seen.
It's I think worse than any of the bonds, even worse than Liv and Lat die, worse than any
of the bonds, worse than any of the Jack Ryan's or any of the borns, worse than any of the Jack
Ryan's or any of the uncles by a country mile, I think looking at the maths here on balance,
I think Rambo is the worst franchise we've ever seen.
Absolutely.
Well, terrible.
And who told us that we should do Rambo?
What kind of fucking fuck up? So I do want to say aside from the, you know, whatever links we put up for WGA, SAG, after
and UCU, I want to add a couple of those.
I want to put in a link to Red National De Rufullios, which is like a network of domestic
violent shelters in Mexico.
And there's also, I want to put a link for the Mexican
Alliance of Sex Workers who also has a donation thing. I will make sure they are in the description.
Thank you. Because, like, again, the violence and the sexual violence and the trafficking that
is depicted in this movie exists, however, it is being perneciously selective and
exists, however, it is being paniciously selective and false in its depiction of who it victimizes. Yeah, I mean, so do we have any final thoughts about the Rambo franchise before we bid rest
in piss to some final thoughts, but I can't say any of them.
Thanks.
Yeah, no, I'd drawing rampage of revenge against the Rambo franchise.
Yeah, I think Rambo 4 and 5 out of all the films we've ever watched in the years we've
done this podcast with the ones that made me the most sad.
I think that I can do a bit of a sort of an end zone dance here because I think my initial
take about Rambo first blood as, you know, harsh as it was has gotten more vindicated
by everything else since.
And I know that that's unfair.
I know that it's like to make that a hindsight justification of it.
But I really think that as much value as Rambo first blood had as a process film, whatever,
I think when you set out to do it in that way, this is what you inevitably end up doing.
Having. set out to do it in that way. This is what you inevitably end up doing. Having... I think it takes you to the hammering Mexican cartel guys in the...
No, I completely agree. I liked Rambo one. I thought it was good. I thought there was
an anti-war read that you could do of it, but I can't deny that it leads in a perfectly
straight line towards this.
Yeah, it's really sad to see it waste the potential from the first one.
And I hope that whatever series we do next is going to be less fucking depressing than this.
Oh, we have. We know.
Which is terrible.
You've been in the laboratory for the season of Solidarity.
We've been ginning something up.
We, I have found that IMDB has a list of every movie that is considered to be a Euro spy movie.
Now these are movies that cropped up in Europe after the success of the Sean Connery James Bond as a sort of like...
Oh, I said, Sandy, set comes from this.
These are movies that are trying to capitalize on the success of early bond.
And I am very excited to go through them because none of them have anything to do with
SAG After, completely safe.
It is going to be a point for some of these in English.
I look forward to it.
We're going to do what we can.
Well, we can always give them.
Like, yeah, we'll let you know if we're skipping any.
If it's genuinely impossible to find some of these, we will skip them.
But that's the plan.
Thank you for your support.
We have a Patreon.
You can get the bonus episodes.
The next one of which, our final Stallone for a Melodized Spector is going to be Demolition
Man, which I'll talk about directly after this.
I'm looking forward to recording for about a minute.
Mm-hmm.
Hi.
See ya, Adios.
Not make a Rambo 6.
If you have the capacity to do it, don't do it.
Where's this?
Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. This one fucking sucked
up. Not the episode, the movie, um, Ramburgh. We've just um, wrapped on the Kill James Bond
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