Kill James Bond! - S2E5: Clear and Present Danger
Episode Date: August 2, 2022It's time to keep up the heat on Jack Ryan, and this time Mr Constitution himself is off to Colombia to racistly get himself involved in a bunch of drug smuggling events. Hard to express the lack of r...espect this movie has to the nation of Colombia, and indeed to the viewer. Jack Ryan is made Acting Deputy Director of the CIA when his mentor James Earl Jones, here playing the character of America, falls ill. Jack immediately is a naive dipshit and gets himself Embroiled. To discuss events past this point would be a disservice to letting us reveal them during the episode. Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond  *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/  Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond
Transcript
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Hey there to all you listeners in podcast land you're listening to another episode of Kill
James Bond. Today we are watching a movie that is all about America so we have all become
American because that's the country that we're all from it's the country that we live in.
If you don't know us already my name is Abigail Florent I was born in Long Beach and I moved
to Seattle I wear a lot of tiny shorts and go to organic coffee shops.
Joining me as usual is my co-host Alice called Welkelly over on the East Coast in Boston.
She's wearing a lot of like, tweed blazers and walking around red brick buildings.
Very academic. It's very like dark I could do that. I kind of love your whole vibe that you got going on today.
Thank you.
And also, we're joined by Devon. They were born in Kansas City and they have a big truck.
That's right little lady. I love a good movie. I love to sit in front of a movie and watch
it on my television set. Today's movie is all about America and we have watched Clear and Present Danger.
These drug cartels represent a clear and present danger to the national security of the United States. I'm just incredible. I'm speechless now. This is the problem when whenever you do a cold
open, I'm like, I don't know how to open the show now because you have done it better
than I could.
It's the thing that we keep doing for the Harrison Ford ones. We did a Russian one, we've now done Irish.
We did a Russian one, we've done it.
We've done it in American.
So I think maybe we'll just make this a Jack Ryan thing.
We're just a different nationality every time.
Or maybe we won't fuck you, listeners.
So testing the limits of what's politically acceptable
as we go to many different places.
Yeah.
But we watched Mr. Smith goes to Langley.
We watched Clearing Present Danger.
The second Jack Ryan movie with Harrison Ford,
the third one overall.
Yeah, Jack Ryan is back on this time it's political.
That's right, that's right.
Because they've discovered the existence of drugs.
And boy, how do youdy are we gonna be talking about
Drugs a lot for the next however because this is a two and a half hours this movie is so fucking long man
I I don't watch a movie quickly when I'm doing it for this because I have to bang my two brain cells together
So this took me like four hours to watch
Doing a podcast is a lot of what.
Yeah, yeah. Being a podcast is so hard. It's probably harder than being in the military,
I would say. Yeah, podcast is a working class. That's what it is.
Yeah, that's right. That's right. We all worked to like a long shift in the big podcasting
factory. It's a big podcast. Yeah, on this movie. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
And also, the other thing about this is this movie was two and a half hours long. And it came out
in 1994 before the sort of like gradual inflation of movie length happened, where people became like
accustomed to it by force. If like in 1994, your options were like seeing a movie that is
Like in 1994, your options were like seeing a movie that is 85 minutes long or this. And I don't know how people cope with that.
What are the fuck else are you going to do in 1994?
That's true.
The end of history.
Yeah, you're not going to tweet, you're not going to text anybody, you've not got to be
anywhere because nothing exists.
It's mostly primordial ooze in the 90s. I was less than I was minus six in 1994.
Yeah, I don't know. I was never born. So much like the podcast Kill James Bond, this movie
gets a very America opening. We get the American music. We get
this sort of like mourns.
God, we do. I want to talk about this so much because first of all, hi, it's Devon again.
I'm back. My mojo is back. Fans of Devon will be excited to learn that I have multiple
grants that I'm interfacing throughout this movie. But the first one is that they love to do
the music. There's that little marching band that they play
in the background whenever anything sufficiently
troopers happening, and that doesn't necessarily
have to be actual troupe shit.
Sometimes Jack Ryan does something,
makes a hard decision and it plays with a little,
this is being a trooper really,
sort of seeing a trooper.
Yeah, yeah, so good.
So we literally open on a shot of the American flag being a true really sort of steaming back on it. Yeah, yeah, so good.
So we literally opened on a shot of the American flag while this sort of like West Wing S.C. music plays. But we're at sea, we're in the Caribbean. And the opening thing is probably the
most heat that the U.S. Coast Guard has got from a movie in a long time. Yeah, there's just a
little commercial that's like, hey, maybe you should join Coast Guard.
It's cool.
Yeah.
Like troops.
The other white man.
We see the Coast Guard stop a yacht,
which has two suspicious blood-covered,
Hispanic man aboard.
This yacht is called Enchanta.
And immediately you get the sense of like,
oh, this movie is is gonna be a bit
racist, isn't it?
Oh, see, senior.
Oh my god, no, it's not good.
My dad's here to say the captain of the Coast Guard vessel is like Alice?
I listen, I was sort of thinking, my note here is, love to be boarded by a Stern Coast Guard officer,
which so you know, you go in a couple of different directions there.
It's nice having had to get the spray bottle out for a couple of episodes. It's good to start
off on a high note.
It's fair, it's fair. So the ship is US registered at the yacht called in Chanta. And it's
just these two blood-covered guys aboard who are not able to outrun the Coast Guard.
The Coast Guard chased them down, board the ship.
And then the sort of the officer he used to look like me talks to the guy who she's sent
on board and she's like, well, what's going on?
And he gives her the least helpful, most dramatic report ever, which is, it's pretty bad.
He should probably start the movie now.
Where we detected some kind of inciting incident. That and bad news exactly.
It would be in a cold open to a Jack Ryan movie.
There's a lot of all over the place, ma'am.
So we then cut to the CIA, where James L. Jones and Harrison Ford, Jack Ryan,
essentially operating the CIA is a sort of like mystery of the weak detective agency. James L Jones currently playing America.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he will be America in this film, as we'll see.
Same, same, same character is in, in Hunter Red October on Patriot Games, Admiral Greer.
Yeah, he's Admiral Dad and his job is to be like,
that job's fun.
I'm America.
Yeah, and he goes,
right, Ryan, the mystery of the week is this yacht.
You should figure out what's going on with this yacht.
And the videotape of the Coast Guard searching it
is them finding blood everywhere.
It's like a whole family of American citizens and the movie really makes
a lot of American citizens going to kill. It's a real sort of like, keyless remanus
something. And it transpires that this yacht belonged to a guy called Peter Hardin who was
an American businessman. He was also a close friend of the president of the United States.
an American businessman. He was also a close friend of the president of the United States.
Kind of a big, like high level, like big industry guy. And he's been, him and his family have been murdered and thrown over board. And the yacht was stolen. So Jack Ryan goes to the White House
and briefs the president in the Oval Office and is like, yo, your dude just got fucking clipped.
My, my, my note here simply says, oh shit, they killed president and none,
president in nonciation.
That's fucking ironic.
I can't fucking.
I don't like to stop over that.
Presidents in our shit.
In here, don't react well.
President Joe Connery.
Yeah.
So the president is scandalized because he knows this guy,
they're old friends, they're lifelong friends.
He's an upstanding citizen and he's just been killed
and he wants to know why.
He says everything like that, by the way.
In fact, I think this comes in the form of drugs.
Why?
Yeah, because why?
Because we reckon this has something to do with drug trafficking.
For reasons, it must be a drug's related thing. The predators are like, Goddamn it!
It's the drugs again, it's the Goddamn drugs again.
Yes, yeah. At this point I would like to...
Oh, I would like to refer to the button that I have to describe the theme of this movie.
Oh, I would like to refer to the button that I have to describe the theme of this movie. Drugs.
Selling dope heroin.
I promise the American people I have a do drugs.
Poor steroids.
Why?
Oh, so yeah, so, so, um, Jack and James R. Jones are like,
yeah, there's like a lot of drug trafficking coming in and out of Columbia.
We reckon probably this was that. And the president's like, oh, there's like a lot of drug trafficking coming in and out of Columbia. We reckon probably this was that.
And the president's like, oh, I want to do something tough
about drugs.
Yeah.
Maybe we should declare a war on drugs.
So we see that he says to one of his like shady advisor guys,
he says to a discount Brian Cox type.
He says, I want to do something about these drugs.
I'm not going to tell you exactly what it is, but I want to do something about these drugs. I'm not gonna tell you exactly what it is,
but I wanna do something tough.
And he drops the title as we heard.
He says, I reckon that the drug traffickers from Columbia
represent a clear and present danger
to the National Security United States.
So I mean, he basically tells them,
please do something illegal about this,
but I mean, officially no.
Yeah.
And this guy, Qatar, has like got it, but I'll have no problem.
This guy, cast of the National Security Advisor.
Yeah, this movie is about underlings for the most part.
And we see the other sort of like, the other power in this situation,
which is Paolo Escavaz.
Sorry, sorry.
Nesto Escavado.
Yeah.
So, can we get to see some drug lords?
Yes.
Well, in fact, different from yes.
Oh, see, senior.
Escavado sees it.
That is to me, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Escavado is absolutely just as the Americans
imagine Pablo Escavado.
He's in a batting cage that he's had installed in his home just
absolutely whipping the shit out of baseballs coming out of him from a machine.
Right. Yeah, is this like a, he wants to be American thing? Is that what they're trying
to say here? I'm not sure. I don't know. I think it's kind of like America.
I think it's just, it's a little sort of like up in middle class luxury as much as anything.
I think it's just, it's a little sort of like upper middle class luxury as much as anything. But his boy, Colonel Cortez, comes in to see him and you know Cortez is evil, well,
more evil because he's wearing an all black suit and black t-shirt in like Colombian summer.
He's got a slick back hair.
I came down from the elevator, unbelievable, I'm gonna say my man is a man is a second armada unbelievable. So good his voice
He sounds like Ricardo MontalbĂ¡n, right?
And he goes and he tells
The voice
He goes and he tells us go better. Hey fucked up here. Not only was that guy American, but also he was a personal friend of the president of the United States.
And they're speaking Spanish. At this point, it goes into slow motion. A baseball goes straight past
Escovedo because he's like, fuck did you just say? I love this idea. I love, love, love this idea that like,
sort of insulting or inconveniencing the president of the United States
would have been something that was scared Pablo Escobar. It's to me that's very fun.
As opposed to you going, ha, sick. Yeah, the duty has like a photograph of himself outside
the White House, just giving like a big thumbs up. Yeah, I think so.
White House, just giving like a big thumbs up. Yeah, I think so.
No, but so this is also the point where they do the hunt for red October thing where they
go from speaking Spanish to speaking English and you're meant to like understand it as Spanish
being spoken.
Yeah, it's quite nice.
It's not as good as the hunt for red October.
There are a few moments in this where they're like try and do the hunt for red October again
for like not quite as good, but this is a fun
one. They do the translation convention. Yeah, the red October one was really good because
they swapped over specifically on a word that is the same in both languages, which is
like just beautiful to me. Should bring that back, but we also find out a bit more about
Cortes, which is that he is a he used to be a Cuban intelligence officer
and we know this because
Yeah, was it like this when you were working for Castro?
And I mean, yeah, he's like I'm a Castro dick rider.
It's gaslighting.
But like this to me is an interesting little feature right?
And I think it's something that's worth talking about, is Tom Clancy.
I grew up reading the Tom Clancy novels because it explains a lot about why I am.
Exactly, exactly.
And the clear and present danger of the novels are real fucking doorstop, which is part
of the reason why this movie is like two and a half hours long.
However, it's also a great example
of one of the things that Tom Clancy cannot stop doing, which is America can never really
be defeated by one adversary on its own, right? It has to be some kind of like two against
one WWE, like unfair team up, right?
Fiddle Castro coming in with a chat!
Exactly. So like, it's very seldom the Soviets,
it's the Soviets and somebody else or it's Castro and the drug king pins or it's the IRA and
I guess like black liberation terrorists. Yeah, not great.
It's and like the reason why I want to talk about this is because this is still an abiding feature
of shit like the rising in Call of Duty games.
It's partly because it avoids having a single identifiable real world antagonist, but
like Call of Duty battlefield all of this shit, it loves to be like, er, it's the Russia
China Federation because it's both of them at once.
Or it's the United Arab
Republic again and it loves to do this and it's sort of it's a very perocular idea that
America one-on-one can take anybody but it's only once you start sort of ganging up then
then we're in trouble. Yeah it's only when you're playing dirty against noble America.
Exactly. And let me go back to, oh, we learned one thing about Cortez,
which is that he has an insider.
He has somebody inside the American intelligence community
who's feeding him information.
My man, my man has, well, we don't find this out yet,
but I'll save my reaction to that.
We go back to Ryan, who...
Sounds addiction.
Get the phone call.
Yep.
Sounds plain of a submarine in the sink and is like,
why won't it float?
To submarine, eh?
Idiot.
It's a boy, by the way.
The boy, they didn't know whether it was a boy or girl
at the end of the last film.
It's a boy.
It's Jack Ryan, Jr.
Yeah, by the way, during the briefing about all of the...
the...
Drugs.
James L. Jones just goes, oh, for a second, he takes like one hit point again.
Exactly.
And at that point of like, he's fucked and is like dead.
It's because the thing is right, I get how things are too quite badly, right?
And I used to be much worse.
And one of the things about that was that like any movie, any TV show where you suffer a symptom of any kind,
oh, you're dead. It's over for you. If you could just go, oh, you're dead. You cough once,
dead. No, it's bleed mega dead. James L Jones catches the deadly virus known as,
I'm gonna fucking die disease, which the main symptom is a bit too much.
I'm gonna fucking die disease, of which the main symptom is,
time you hurt a bit too much.
That's right.
But specifically, we find out that James Earl Jones
has cancer, has terminal cancer.
James Earl Jones, who is playing the role of America,
like we have seen the president of the United States.
Yes, he's a very good.
Order an illegal operation.
And now James Earl Jones, symbol of America,
has cancer, which is one of his own cells,
is like growing and too powerful
and is trying to kill him.
He has symbolic cancer and is dying.
And says, yo, I'm gonna die later in the film.
In the meantime, Jack Ryan, you're completely unqualified,
but I need you to do my job of being America.
Jack, I need you to become the deputy director of the CIA.
This is something I can just do.
Yeah, you are the most naive dipshit in the world.
I have ever met in my entire life.
Take my job.
But he's not even the way that Captain America is naive, right?
He's meant to be kind of like a noble boy scout himbo.
Yeah, except of just kind of fall slack
because they mostly just get the himbo.
Yeah.
But there is one line.
I would love to talk about this at length and I will when it comes up. Yeah. There is there is one line and some
of the dialogue in this is pretty good. And one of the lines I like is when he just recognizes Ryan
sort of like ambition. He goes, you've been to the White House before you've done my job.
And Ryan goes, yeah, once I hated it, he just goes, no, you didn't. You fucking loved it. Love it. You love that shit. It's like, yeah, God is
asked, because the thing is, right, this doesn't happen in the books for another,
they jam another couple of novels in there, but Ryan becomes president of the United States.
He does.
He does. Of this shit. That's like, that's his character arc, right, as he becomes president.
It's why we're probably going gonna end up talking about Air Force One
as a Jack Ryan.
Absolutely.
Technically, isn't.
But so, yeah, I like that.
And meanwhile, we see it.
We see a little bit more about the Evil Guys plans.
So, I'm cutter, the guy who was told early on
to do a legal shit is working with a guy
who's confusingly called Ritter,
who is played by an actor called Henry Zerney,
who I really love this guy.
He's so good.
He's like, he's like,
Hugo Weaver isn't available, so we got him,
and he's really, really good.
He does a great kind of like,
he's like Agent Smith in this, he's really good.
But they are, they're doing something
that the president doesn't officially know about,
called Operation Resiprocity.
Don't name the shit after what it's actually going to be.
Operation that.
You're killing Latin Americans.
You can't do that, man.
It has to be some gay shit like Operation Pencil Shavings.
Like you can't fucking call it.
Oh, see, senior.
Operation, Operation Getting Our Own Back Against The Guys
Who Did The Thing At The Star of The Movie.
It's kind of Operation lander, right?
And incidentally, I really like Risser in this,
the way that he looks.
He's got this like wire-bearing glasses.
He's got the sort of like, like, slick back hair.
He is the way every Neocon ghoul
who has ever been in the federal government
has imagined themselves, right?
Oh, I love him.
For War for Wits was 100% like, yeah, I look like that.
I definitely look like that.
And he didn't.
He was a miserable little shit,
but like that's how he pictured himself, I'm sure.
But we do the Mission Impossible series.
We're gonna see Harry's in here again,
playing much the same role.
That's me fucking not, baby.
He does a great line in like weird guys in offices
with conspiracies, that's his whole thing.
But also they're not going to tell Jack Ryan about this plan because they're like,
oh, Ryan's too, too straight at least. He's too cool. We can't tell him about it. He's,
he's a boy scout. They literally call him a boy scout.
Yeah, my note for this specifically goes, oh, I'm so mad when you're dirty ahead of a CIO,
it's too nice. He's not corrupt at all. I'm so mad. Brackets looking directly at camera. Jack Ryan is too base to play ball in Washington.
Yeah. And they use him, they use him to like provide political cover because because
he doesn't know they have him go to the, I guess, oversight committee, the intelligence
committee and say, this is the funniest thing ever.
Because there's a lot to set up,
yeah, first of all, is that this is like his first major thing,
right?
And he is nervous about this.
And they sell that, but like he can't decide what tie to wear.
He keeps like changing his ties.
And when he's just before he leaves the room to go there,
he grabs another tie off the chair on his way out.
And like when you see him in the hearing, he's wearing the tie he grabbed. So you could like, you see that he was
still agonizing over it for the entire trip up there, which I really, really liked.
And he's also God's perfect moron.
Yeah. He meets with the American liberalism who says,
are you conducting a shadow war in Colombia? Jack Ryan and he goes, no, because
no one told me that we were. So you have, you have my, it's not even that he goes, no,
he's like, honestly shocked and confused. He's like speechless. He does not know what to
say at the, because he's like, we need more funds to be put towards fighting drug cartels
in Colombia. And like the Senate oversight committee goes,
are you going to fund an illegal death squad? And he goes, what? No. He gives them his word of order. His word. Two seconds later, we see it being used on troop deployment.
Yeah. So so Ritter goes down to Panama and meets Willem DeFoe.
That's fucking the two of you.
And it's like, Yo, can you please put together an illegal kill squad at Willem DeFoe?
It's like, absolutely, I love nothing more than doing this.
I'm Greene Goblin.
Willem DeFoe here is playing John Clark, who is the movie has really sanded off all of
the edges of this character because John Clark
was whenever Tom Clancy needed something fascist done and like Jack Ryan was a bit too
bookish to do it.
This was his man of action, right?
He would deploy him to do all kinds of shit.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, he's in the novel of Rainbow Six.
He's in a whole bunch of stuff.
But he's like, okay, go and put together
in a legal kill squad.
His dribbin' is seen also in Macular.
He's wearing this like perfectly blue cabana shirt
with like white piping.
And I like a perfectly white steps in that.
Fantastic.
Yeah, it's credit to Willem DeFur that he can make
this very casual outfit look very sinister.
Yeah, so good. Another very casual outfit. Look very sinister. Yeah, and another very good line,
that Rissa tells them they want whatever
the first term administration wants,
a second term.
Nice.
You know, cynicism,
plusing against the American public.
Meanwhile, back in DC,
we see that Catherine Ryan and Archer,
barely in this movie movie is like she meets
she meets an old friend of hers who works as a secretary to the director of the FBI I think yeah
and she's like how are you and her friend goes I'm gonna dig down something crazy
her friend is down so astronomic huge comes Huge comes in all of my holes. Yep.
And she goes, oh, by who?
Oh, well.
A Latin J-Brown.
Oh, what does that have to see?
It's, it's, you know, her new lover, right?
Colonel Cortez, under an alias.
I forget what the alias is.
Oh.
But, so Catherine sees him like briefly for a second,
getting into a cab or something. She's just like, oh, interesting.
This will come in handy at two hours later.
Yeah, I'll remember this in 9,000 years in Act 3 of the film.
Ryan also discovers that the victim who starts with this Peter Harden, well, he gives all of Hardin's information to a guy who works in the CIA.
Oh, this guy, this guy.
I love him, this guy.
Computers guy.
So they've worked out the hardeners, probably like receiving drug money is probably embezzling
drug money and then he's been killed by the cartels.
Yeah, he's laundering money for the cartels.
That's the, yeah, and stealing from them.
But so you guys, we need to break into this guy's
encrypted floppy disk.
Do you have the guy on TikTok who does Geogess
are really fast?
And they do.
Who works for the CIA.
Yeah.
Yeah, password guy who, first of all, hello, madam.
It's, I hope you find the words to describe what you are, but um, that's the thing is like, right, this character should not be a man.
This character should be a trans woman.
Mm hmm.
Well, this, this guy literally he's just going like, um, you know, wife's birthday.
No, wife's birthday backwards.
No, daughter's birthday.
No, daughter's birthday backwards.
No, he does that for like a minute and then he gets it.
Yeah, Jack is like walking away from him at this point and then he goes, now I got it. It was a wife's birthday, daughter's birth month, son's birthday, not backwards.
Yeah, this character needs some like thigh highs and like kayak. Like it should have been a drama, which was not invented in 1984 yet by the CIA. And they were still working on that.
Yeah, and that was in a different department.
Yeah.
Yeah, also he guesses Ryan's pin, which is funny.
Yeah.
So.
I'm also something else I want to say about this actor
that I noticed, it's kind of an aside,
is that the actor playing this role has acne scars on his face and it made me realize
that you never see that nowadays. I don't know whether that's true because skincare has
gotten better or because casting has gotten stricter. But these days, if you do not have
like perfect skin, you will not be on TV like this. It's honestly like slightly, for a moment, I was like,
what's up with that?
Oh, that's just like a completely normal and fine thing
that like a lot of people in the population have.
You're like, wait a second, this motherfucker looks normal.
Yeah, it just looks like a normal guy.
And I'm like, I've just gotten so used to seeing actors
who have like perfect skin and like perfect makeup.
That it's, I was just like, oh, oh, like,
it's a real kind of 90s throwback
um yeah
So so so Ryan goes back to the White House to tell him that his boy is like
probably embezzling from the drug cartel and
We see that he has instantly become a regular at the White House like he's on first name terms with the security guy at the gate
When he goes into
the Oval Office, they unironically do the like, there he is. Here comes trouble. They'll let anyone
in here these days. But it's the president. It's very good. Yeah, my friend, the president, it's
quite cute. Yeah, President Joe Biden, which is extremely good. Because like, he gets informed that
his like, long time mate was skimming money off of the Colombian drug cartels and his response starts of, ah man, which I was like, ah, there he is.
That's my junior Jack.
Yeah.
And the president does turn around and say, okay, cool.
Well, what we're going to do is, hardens got $650 million sitting in an offshore account. What we're going to do is we're going to seize that money,
and then I can go out to the American people,
and I can say, hey, we're fine, we're fine, the war on drugs,
because we just seize a whole bunch of money from the cartels.
So let's do that. And Jack's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This link between Peter, Hardin, and the cartels is just a theory.
Like, somebody's going to have to go down there to Columbia and prove this.
And the president's like,
hey, I just saw the hunt for red October.
My line now is I say, go on, then off you go, son.
Absolute dipshit.
Walks in to every single one.
Every conversation he has, he gets played by the other person.
In to cut with this,
we see John Clark is putting a team together.
Yes.
Specifically, we see Sniper School, US Army Sniper School, where a guy is, they have this very
cool exercise setup, which I'm told is realistic, where they have a bunch of guys with binoculars
and a target, and a guy has to get as close as he can while the people with binoculars
coordinate a search for him and like hit that target
which he does very well. We see this knife again incredibly close and they finally get him to reveal
himself and the Sergeant Major in charge goes, soldier, how did you get that close to me?
Emotionally.
Soldier, I love you. How did you get me to open myself and become vulnerable and an intimate way?
And this is a guy called Domingo Ding Chavez.
This guy is fucking play by.
I hear it by someone.
The name escapes me.
This is a recognizable.
Raymond Cruz, fucking fantastic that he, you'll recognize him as Tukos Salamanca from
Breaking Bad. Oh, fuck, it is. And yeah, he sells it well because his first line is screaming at the top
of his lungs, which is also a Tukka Salamanca special. So he, he, the thing about, the thing
about Domingo ChĂ¡vez is that because again, I grew up with this shit. I also grew up with the early Rainbow Six games,
which have John Clark and Chavas in them,
but they list them, like surname four name,
like Clark John.
And so to my mind, this is just ingrained in my head.
He is Chavas ding.
That's his name.
It was Has Benzi.
I cannot change this because that's how it's written down.
So for the rest of this movie, I will be calling him Carvesting. Sorry about this. Fair enough.
I can't help it. It's a deep brain shit. But so they were through.
They blow up planes and they attack drug labs. They do a bunch of like, well, they do like a legal paramilitary.
They do like black ops shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
It's not good.
Yeah, this is the point of which the film starts to get a little bit
tonally confused because the way that this conspiracy has been set up with
Qatar and Ritter, well, like, okay, this is evil.
It's bad that this is happening.
It's like a legal paramilitary stuff.
But when we cut to the troops, in particular when they are being inserted into Columbia,
the soundtrack specifically is like American horns and like, do do do do do do And all you'd have to do is to change the music
to make it more sinister.
But it's really odd that the film wants us to think
that these guys are heroes, even though we've been told
that what they're doing is really bad.
This is a problem that will get worse.
This will get so much worse.
They're here to being misused by the forces of power,
which we see in the form of ritter and cutter
are both in separate offices,
both drinking glasses of whiskey,
and just on fucking MSN messenger,
or whatever, being like,
ah, congratulations,
you got your dirty little illegal, dirty, illegal war.
And this sort of ritter, by the way,
is the first appearance of the, uh,
friends of a show will know the traditional US and huge suit.
This is the first shot of it.
It doesn't come back.
So many of it in this movie.
Oh, okay.
That you know, there are, there are a lot.
I think to me, to my mind, um, when you're wearing like the blazer jacket,
it's harder to tell if it's a huge suit or not.
But when you've just got the shirt on
and it's unbelievably colossal on you,
that's perfection to me.
When you do a long shot and you see the pants,
the pants, the pants.
Yeah, the pants, that's the determining factor to me.
Why do they do that?
Why do they do that?
Why do they just like close the tin with them?
It's so big.
I love them. I really like them.
I think this is just genuinely how American men's wear looked in the 90s,
and even into the 2000s, it's weird as hell.
We just wanted them to look like they're going to get lost in the fabric.
And they've been hit by a shrink ray and they were just shrinking inside their clothes.
Like the fucking twits.
I am a slave to this kind of shit.
I absolutely know that when the cycle of nostalgia gets back around to like the mid 90s
I'm gonna be wearing a US in huge suit and I think it looks sick in much the same manner
But I'm currently wearing like 70 shit
Yeah, yeah, the next live show you're gonna come out in like a huge massive
Square fucking Looking like kingpin I so in like a huge massive thing. Yeah, very fancy, perfect square fucking scene.
Looking like Kingpin.
So the, the fucking, the cynics, they've made a liar out of Jack Ryan, the last American
Boy Scout.
And so he goes to have a conversation with America, brackets James Earl Jones, brackets
Diane.
Yeah, my one note here is time to check in with America.
It's
just not looking good. I mean, like Jack, they've played you son.
We are given to understand that James L Jones is dying. He does have a good line, which
is when he asks Ryan to explain why he has like heard the call of the Lanyard and like
stepped into this particular bear trap.
Ryan goes, well, I don't know why I did that.
And he goes, you're thinking about impressing the president of the United States.
You shouldn't do that.
It's a really good delivery.
I James O'Janks is really fucking good.
But so yeah, he has to go to Colombia as do the troops who are inserted.
I have some great co- some great core signs, by the
way, variable. This is knife. I'd love to, I'd love to be knife. So he goes to, he goes
to Bogota, where he is met by a DEA agent down there, a gene fouler. And once again, he
is the biggest.
This is the funniest shot. This is the one that sells it the most to me out of all of
that like, Jack Ryan.
Yeah. shot. This is the one that sells it the most to me out of all of it like, just riding a dumb ass baby. It's that when he gets it to the fucking DA car, he's like getting a
bit hot and he winds down the bulletproof windows.
Like the DA's and goes like, what, stop, stop, what are you doing, man? So, so good.
I don't know how dangerous Bogota was for Americans in the mid 90s. Perhaps very, but the way
that they film it is absolutely you will be killed at any time without all of this protection.
Oh, it is this heart of darkness location, shit. Like, yeah, it's fucked up.
And heart of darkness, parallels will come back later on.
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Somewhere I think slightly, Willem Dafoe and the lads
disrupt Anestas drug operations.
They blow up a cocaine farm and a bunch of planes and stuff.
And Ryan also finds the proof that Peter Hardin
was doing this kind
of drug laundering, drug money laundering shit. So he calls the president and is like,
yeah, we got the proof. The president's like sick. He goes on TV and is like, yo, we got
the drug money. He lads using drugs. He said, I don't. Yeah. He owns Ryan again in this conversation
because even though the US has an ambassador to Colombia, Ryan
gets saddled with the job of telling the Colombians that they're not going to see a dime of
that money because it has to fund the illegal kill squad.
So the president is just like, well, you tell them then, which I like a lot.
Also he meets John Clark for the first time, and John Clark also easily
owns him in the marketplace of ideas. He's like an illegal kill squad. I wouldn't know
nothing about that, thus missing out on his chance to win the Brian Cox Memorial Award and tell
what he's going to try. Yeah, he doesn't think it doesn't do it. But anyway, the president says,
okay, cool, I'm going to send the director of the FBI down there to visit you and, you know, helps sort all this out.
But of course, as we know Cortez is having incredible sex with the director of the FBI's secretary.
That's right.
Cortez, Cortez, in a way that is a little bit racist, given that he has described as a Latin Jack Ryan has infiltrated the federal
government dick first.
And so this insanely down bad woman immediately calls him the second her boss is leaving for
Colombia to be like, oh, hey, the director of the FBI is coming to Colombia.
And the weirdest part is she doesn't know that he's a spy.
She doesn't know that she's just like volunteering that information to him.
She thinks he works for a coffee company, which is the front for it. Incidentally, just because
the movie thinks you've gotten bored, because you haven't seen tits in a minute, when she does call
him this goes to a special switchboard in Venezuela, operated by a very sexy woman.
Yeah, that's a little bit James Bond for a member there because she has a tape recorder
that plays ambient noise of a guest's atmosphere in the background.
Yeah, for sure.
So, the FBI director is going to go down to Columbia to Bogota and Cortez is going to
kill him.
So, he's plotting out this ambush and he's like, well, you know, love to be there with
the boys.
However, I got this other thing.
Yeah, I got to get a point out of losing.
Yeah, I got to go murder a woman.
He flies up there at the same time.
This is intercut with Ryan, sort of like meeting the FBI director.
There's an old friend of his who's an FBI agent who's in the convoy.
Dan, don't remember. No, don't remember, don't get attached to Dan.
Who not get attached to Dan?
He's wearing a red shirt very soon.
They're in the convoy and Ryan is like briefing him on Columbia like he's been there for
more than a day.
And he's like quite racist.
Quite racist. Quite, quite racist. Oh,
season. You're because he's like, he got stuck. He's like, and Ryan goes, it's like
Mexican food, which first of all, no, it isn't. Go fuck yourself. You racist piece of shit.
They're totally different. Not even that close together. No, like
geographically, ethnically, it's just different. Okay, so that's the first thing. It's like, it's like Mexican food
and the guy doesn't like Mexican food.
The other thing, how's the water?
Oh, you wanna use bottled water,
otherwise you'll get the shit to trojously.
You wanna brush your teeth with bottled water
or you'll get the shit to trojously.
And this was like, that's a Mexico in the 90s
or 80s reference, right?
Like, that's how American sort of Mexico.
I fucking had to dig into studies of Colombian water quality.
This is the kind of fucking detailed research that one of the people on this podcast does.
I hope you appreciate how one third of the podcast goes the extra mile.
Yeah, this is probably why it takes you four hours to watch a movie like this,
because you have to pause and go to like fucking looking at fucking water.
Take like Google scholar.
It just it just bothered me.
All right.
As completely to the point that Columbia had pretty good water,
even in the 90s, but especially in Bogota, especially in the kind of hotel that you
put the fucking director of the FBI in, most the reason why the water wasn't good was like
shissy pipes, which, it's just racist.
It's literally just, we are in a worse country now, the normal rules don't apply.
And being here is like, the quality of life is so bad that even just
an everyday thing like brushing your teeth can make you sick. And it's like, it's just
not true. It's not at all. It's it's it's it's like such a slander on the country. And
this is meant to make us like Ryan as well as like, this is meant to make us think, oh,
you know, he's capable. He's like learning about the place. He's less of a dipshit now.
And it's not the case.
Anyway, Moira meets Cortez and is like,
you know, my pussy is throbbing like a steam dry.
Yes.
And Cortez is like, well, that's too bad because you're dead.
I'm gonna like, grow up you a little bit.
And then he, he does a variant of the,
I try to snap the guy's neck,
but instead I make him look the left very quickly.
Where he just essentially just does chiropractic on her.
He just, he gets her in like a chokehold
and then just kind of like snaps a little bit
and she just instantly dies.
My note is he could do this to me.
Thank you.
He's wearing the big fucking leather gloves
and an overcoat.
He is, he's not got any and an overcoat. He is.
He's not got any fingerprints on that corpse.
Like, there's no matter what's fresh.
That's a boy.
But also Cortez's boy's ambush.
Boy, singular.
He has one boy.
His boy is called Sipo.
And what Sipo does is he has a perfectly prepared identical police bike.
He kills the real cop.
And then he just hangs out at the back of the convoy,
just to see if the guy is there and then just leaves.
And what happens is...
I understand.
And it was very directs them to the ambush.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, what we get is a genuinely probably the best action scene
of the movie.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little bit of silly slow motion, but.
Yeah, we get a very good sort of like a well prepared ambush
where they blow up the first truck,
they blow up the last truck and the rest
to sort of stuck in this narrow street.
And you know, they're sort of then raked with fire
from the rooftops.
One of the things I like about this,
it makes the RPG, the RPG 7, as terrifying as it probably should be. That's right, yeah. Because in so many movies,
like from Black Hawk Down Onwoods, it's sort of like this comedy flare gun that you like
pop one off in the general direction of some Americans and they all go RPG and dark and then
everything's fine. Whereas here, it's a a you point this thing at a vehicle and everybody and there is like incinerated sort
of device. It's good. It's good. So Ryan sees everybody get killed around him in front
of him. Including dad memorable character.
Dan. Dan get me fucking. Not down in the streets of
Bogota. Which is down. I'm more of a down in the streets of Bulgaria. Which is what happened. What am I gonna do with my darn action figure?
My darn acrointric.
The one sort of weak link of this is that they don't really use
blood a lot because it's PG-13.
They don't really use sort of Hong Kong squibs.
So what it looks like when Dan gets shot as he just goes,
oh my back!
Like it looks like he's just got really bad. Dan dies of cramp.
Yeah, he is.
Yeah.
We actually have got that chiropractor.
But so Dan has killed the director of the FBI is killed.
Yes.
Ryan has to do some sort of slightly implausible stunt driving to get out of it.
And he's left like on the street covered in blood. He has to like call his wife.
It's not too improbable. He does like a J-turn. I mean, my dad can do a J-turn.
It's nice that he calls his wife there.
Yeah, he does call his wife.
She's very worried about that.
And he's like, Dan's dead. Oh, oh, Dan, Dan.
Oh, sorry.
Dan?
Not Dan.
Dan. Dan, your name, or I want to know, he's like, no, Dan, I'm sorry. Dan? Not Dan, Dan. Dan, Dan.
Dan, your name, or not, or not, or not, or not.
He's like, no, he's, uh, uh.
Uh.
It going over his funeral.
It just says, Dan, on the grave.
Like this.
Like, oh, fuck, it was.
Dan was Ryan's Mitchell.
He really was.
Yeah, it's a very Mitchell situation.
Yeah, he, God, that perimeter's checked now. he's checking the perimeter of heaven now that's right that's right
that's right Ernesto the drug lord is like yeah what the fuck I didn't order this I didn't
tell everyone to go and attack the FBI and Cortez is like oh it must be one of the other
drug lords who's who's making you look bad King. We see that Cortez then immediately calls
one of the other drug laws like,
hey, great work, we're gonna get us asked next,
which will be important later.
Also, all of Ernesto's dudes incredible fits.
This is like taking place at one of his kids' birthday parties
and it's guarded by like 12 guys all with oozes
wearing white double-breasted suits and standing on the
fucking roof. It's the coolest shit in the world. I want to be a cartel guy so badly. It's the fit,
incredible. And this kicks off a kind of this kicks off a cycle of escalation, right? Because Ryan,
Ryan comes back to the US, they repatriate the bodies. It's quite a powerful scene, you know, coffins and flags and all that shit.
And the cycle of escalation is kicked off because Willem DeFoe learns that there's going to be a meeting of all the drug lords, Anesto's called a meeting like, yo, what the fuck, who did this?
And then, and then the lads, right across the line. Let's settle in.
We're going to talk about some background to this first, which is a scene that we missed,
which is we get another scene of the president sort of like indirectly ordering something
in a sort of like read between the lines way where he's like, oh, they think they can do
the shit, they can't do the shit.
And then all of his, like, and then Carter has to go and say what the president means is
we have to expand the illegal war in Colombia.
He's on it.
Yeah, it's, it's great.
It's like a two-bit thing.
Like the president's just like, this is unacceptable and something needs to be done.
And then he leaves the room in his, like, troublesome priest.
His crony immediately turns to the rest of the guys, he goes, he says, kill them all now.
And this is paired with Cortez.
This is a movie about cronies.
That's one of the few interesting things about it,
I would say, is that it does a good job of like exploring
the sort of power given to these people
who are just classic.
Hinchman.
Yeah, exactly.
Who are just like to implement policy where the policy is, you know, do something about
this.
Yeah, 100%.
It isn't good.
I'm not sure that like if the director of the FBI was assassinated in a foreign country,
I think the president of the United States could probably
get on TV and say, you know, my fellow Americans, fucking Colombian sovereign to the asteroid
started five minutes ago. My fellow Americans.
Probably we already in there. Yeah. Would probably still carry public support. But there's
this sort of, there's this quaintness to the constitutional crimes of this movie. This
idea that like not only would it
sort of, would it bring down an administration if anyone found out that they were deploying
special forces deniably to a country, but also like. Yeah, I'm laughing, I just realized that,
that, that, this movie seriously believes that like this would somehow bring down the president
if they found out that he was doing a legal military operations, as opposed to everybody
be like, yeah, of course he is.
He's the president of the United States.
That's literally his job.
Now, not only would this bring down the presidency, but like anyone in America would be shocked
by this.
It's laughable.
It really is.
I mean, you look at the shit that the CIA and the US military had been doing in Latin America
since, well, basically forever, but in particular at this point, 1994, this movie came out.
You know, this is sort of, it says,
Paul's Reagan has been like sending money and weapons to like explicit fascist death squads
in Latin America for ages.
And when he got caught doing it, he just said, oh, he didn't do that. And then a marine
colonel went down for it and nothing else happened. It's a movie whose thesis has already
been disproven.
It's for classic Ronald Reagan quote, where it's just like, you know, three weeks ago,
I came before the American people and said, we would not trade arms for hostages.
My mind and my best intentions still tell me if that's true, but the facts do not.
Which is like an insane thing to say.
My mind tells me it's true, but the facts do not.
It's like, you should resign if that is the case, my dude.
You just admitted that you're insane.
Incredible.
So Ryan comes back to the US,
where Kathy is like, oh, by the way,
you remember Moira, that lady whose pussy
was like full of big, huge comes from that guy?
Yes.
Well, she has also died at the same time as her boss.
Isn't that weird?
And Ryan immediately puts the two pieces together
and he's like, wait a second, she was killed by a Latino man.
This, this, this, this.
It's can only mean one thing.
And they use the identifier graph.
They do. They do.
They do.
Because the guy who's left a voicemail,
an answering machine message for her. And they just
grabbed that and feed it into the big identifier graph computer at the CIA. Where a guy immediately
says, oh, that guy's Cuban. He was educated in the Eastern United States, and he's between
35 and 45. Just off of listening to the guy.
Voice training probably from an American voice coach, which is why he's got like a slightly weird mid-Atlantic accent now.
Yeah, so they give it to the C.A. voice.
So a little bit too much larynx for a British woman. It's a bit of a giveaway.
He went to a strange clinic in Cuba.
There's a strange clinic.
There's a strange clinic.
If I guys in the film later, he is, he fucking is.
I'll go to him.
Brian just goes, identify this motherfucker.
I don't know if I'm the man.
Yeah, sir.
Meanwhile, look, I want to talk about the, once again,
let's just make this one, for example,
the illegal CIA death squad that have been deployed to Columbia.
We've had a number of like, interspised shots of them killing people and things like they
blew up like a drug thingy underground, at one point they blew up a plane.
Now we get their most egregious crime yet.
And also I'd like to talk.
Movies love to do this thing where to like establish that there is a sniper
providing Overwatch they shoot the shot through the like scope of the rifle and
half him just like slowly muzzle sweep his entire unit's heads. Yeah, just like
such a love to do that. No, he would never do that.
Like, you're just like sat in a tree to care off just like slowly
and sighting up your boys being like, I could fucking take out Johnny from it.
I don't know. I didn't know. I would believe snipers were like, actually, yeah, you're right.
So the drug lords are all having a big drug lord meeting. It's drug lord Khan 2022.
Yeah, it is drug lord Khan 2022. Unfortunately, Ernesto keeps being deleted
from the system reception.
So he can't quite make it there in time.
He's still driving up there.
They said it'd be a guest of honor, but.
Yeah.
So our boys are CIA death squad.
C-clouds.
And laser designated the size of a CRT monitor
to laser a big, stupid truck that one of the
most during during this shot. I do have a screenshot of this. Willem Defer is using the smallest
binoculars I've ever seen in my life and I love it so much. What he and what he sees through
those binoculars is that whilst the drug lord meeting is taking place inside, there are children outside playing football on the lawn with like, you know,
and Nanny, Willem DeFoe sees this, we, the audience, see that he and the lads in the death squad see this,
and he cites them up anyway.
Yeah, specifically of the two. Willem sees this and fucking, oh God, what's the name?
You remember, yeah, Raymond Cruz sees everything.
Yeah.
And they both just continue to paint the target.
This is what we're talking about.
I think this is intended to be read differently.
That's certainly how I wanted it to be.
But at this point, right, the bomb has already been dropped from the plane, call sign Easy
Rhino, by the way. And then as they're guiding
it in, when I guess there's no time to stop it because it's a, it's a dumb bomb by this point,
then they see the children and they're like, wait a second, oh shit, it's too late. And
the point of this is they've done something horrible on accident and they're all traumatized
and you should feel bad for them.
Yeah.
No, no, sorry.
I don't believe that because they are watching the compound through, like, how did you not
see this?
You must have, you must have been watching the compound when the cars rolled up and these
kids got out.
I don't believe that they don't know.
Yeah.
That's just, I'm saying, that's what the the movie wants you to want you to read this as and also like
Intent doesn't really matter. So at this point will him to phone the last fucking can saw the CIA
You are
This isn't a good look
It's not magic will him to phone the last commit a fucking war crime is what they do. Yes
Willem to phone the lands, commit a fucking war crime. Is what they do.
Yes, they murder these children.
A legal CIA death squad commits a war crime on film.
And I just need the audience to just hold that nugget
of information in a fucking way.
Yeah, remember this because the film doesn't.
I genuinely, I insist that the viewpoint of this is,
this is a horrible accident and regrettable.
And the worst thing
is to me, that shows the movie's cowardice, right? Because it would have been a better movie
if it had had them make the decision to do it anyway, which is how both of you saw it in
the first place. But if like genuinely if you had opened with a shot of the kids and then
had Clark go, yeah, fucking send it.
That would have been more unambiguous,
it would have been better,
but it doesn't have the courage of its convictions
to be like, oh, and legal war is bad,
but not because the troops do bad things.
And if they do, it's like, because of the fog of war,
you know, what can you do?
Well, also, no, I'm sorry,
like this film has such, as we will see,
has such a fucking hard on for the rules and being honest.
That even if that was the case,
you still got a fucking prison for manslaughter,
whatever the war crimes equivalent of manslaughter is,
you still fucking kill a bunch of kids.
You don't get a happy ending after that.
Fuck this movie.
Unprovoked violence, nine.
Fuck this fucking film after this point, right?
And we see that we see that, we see that,
we see that Ritter and Carter are like,
ooh, that's too bad, what's your kids got, fucking girl.
Like, Carter even says like,
that's the body of a child being taken out on NBC
and Ritter's like,
ah, well, that's kind of a bad look,
but, but, as far as anyone knows,
it's cartel on cartel violence.
And it's just a car bomb, you know, you know, it wasn't us.
That's right.
They think they played off as a carbon.
Yeah.
We also get the worst kind of movie intelligence work,
which is the big computer spits out the name,
Felix Cortez.
Like that's how they identify Cortez.
Like his name just comes up on a computer
where the CIA just has a database
of everyone's voice. So Jack Ryan gets to do some some analysts stuff now where he asks,
I want to take a second here because my dad is up now having discussed the CIA death squad.
But this was the point at which I paused the film to figure out how much time I had left and saw that this was like a two hour, 20 minute fucking movie. And like, there should be a government
agency, like a three-letter government agency that ensures that if you try to make a two and
a half hour movie, you are shot in the head and killed immediately. There's just, there's
no way to do it. Like, it's not fucking half darkness. It's not, you're not a fucking author. You're not hurt, Sogg.
It's not like a beautiful meditation
on the inherent contradictions of a human soul.
It's fucking clear and present-danger,
starring Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan.
You're fucking a, near the wrath of God
was only an hour 40.
No story that you want to tell
doesn't come from the very core of your being
could possibly be worth
this much of your time of my fucking time.
But they make it anyway, it's a forced march by this point.
Or at least give me a 15 minute interval.
I'm expected to watch a two and a half hour movie.
I want it to become a core facet of my psyche from here on out.
It's used to become part of me, but it doesn't. It was shit. So, so the DEA's one of the DEA's listening posts in in Colombia has found a voice that matches
Cortez and they they have his phone call of him going, Hey, you want to help me betray
Pavlo Eskaba? And at this point, Ryan calls them up and he's like,
Hey, have, have him arrested. And the DEA agent goes,
the Colombian police, Jack, do not pick up members of the cartel.
I mean, unless they've got some kind of a death wish, again, go fuck yourself.
But like, not, not to defend the owner of the Colombian police, right?
That's, that's not what I'm doing here. However, the idea that Colombian police
were uniquely scared or corrupted by drug cartels does not hold up. The idea that like they
never did anything also did not hold up because many of them did have death wishes. And
I'm not going to sit here and apologize for the block they were scared of and say that
they weren't a sort of semi-fascist death squad in their own right. But at least they were getting shot at back, right?
It's the arrogance of this movie to be like,
Columbia is not only this shit hole where you can't drink the water,
but it's also so totally controlled by the cartels,
is to be a narcosite.
When I was like, never a settled piece of law, so to speak.
It's just, it's so, that aggravates me more than the child.
But yeah, there's a true like disdain in myself
for being like, oh, the Colombian police
are such cowards, they wouldn't even arrest Pablo Escobar
when like American police can get 400 of them together
and won't even go into a fucking school. Like, yeah, it's on the set.
And hereafter this, they fucking killed him.
Um, so at this point, Ryan takes, oh, well, Ryan notices that they were just quite fun,
which is that the report about this car bomb, um, Ritter is C.C. on it. He's like, why
is, why is Ritter getting a copy of this? He's the director of operations. This wasn't
a C.A. operation. Why is he getting it? And then he asks the trans woman from
before, it's like, what do you think about this picture?
Oh, and we get to hear what I've written down as a man who is sexually aroused by coding,
because, well, I say man, because he literally goes, oh, fuck, I'm going to have to write
a program. And then he turns to his big computer. He's like, all right, let's go.
And it's like, oh my god, okay, fine.
I guess this is the price of having to employ a computer guy. Meanwhile, Ryan is having to,
he's doing some war nerd shit. He asks himself,
what happens when a car bomb goes off? Explode.
himself. He gets a big stack of books. This to me is the transgo shit. Welcome to another program. Devon spots another minor character that they like.
You know who that fucking was? Sam Remy's brother. He was in the last one as well.
He's Ted Remy. Yeah. He's fucking. I love this guy.
He was to the same with the last one. The people love to tell him to enhance. That's what they do. guy. He's do the same with last one. People love to tell him to enhance that's what they do
Yeah, he's a like a satellite imagery analyst I think is his he was looking at tips in the last one
So Ryan Ryan get does some some transgoal war nerd shit
He gets a shitload of books and he identifies the weapon system
I and he draws a picture the weapon system as an anime girl
You're telling me a Jane wrote this fighting ships.
Yeah.
And thanks.
I'm not really giving you that one, sorry.
Meanwhile, we see, we get a nice little parallel.
We see Cortez doing the exact same shit.
Yeah, this is a really good scene.
I like this one a lot.
He like identified.
They both come to the realization at the same time that this is an American
bomb rather than a car bomb. But then Cortez goes, wait, the Americans are here. I thought
that was his plan though. That's the one part of this that confused me. I thought his plan
was to use the United States here and he seems genuinely surprised.
He moves fast though to make that his plan plan, because he faxes Qatar in an extremely big dick move
and is like, yo, I'm Colombian drug cartels.
Let's meet up.
So he meets up with Qatar and he's like, look, here's the plan.
I'm gonna kill Ernesto and I'm gonna take over.
And then I'm gonna cut all the cocaine exports
to the United States by 50%
and I'm gonna give you the opportunity exports to the United States by 50%, and I'm gonna give you the opportunity
to make regular arrests on my drug runners
that make you look really, really good.
So you'll be like winning the war on drugs.
In exchange, you're gonna basically leave me alone
down here in Colombia, and you're gonna give me
Willem and the Lads.
You've got to cut the Lads off. You're going to betray
the troops. And this is a very, very, very Tom Clancy idea. The idea of like the special forces
troops being betrayed at the negotiate table. Like Ed Harris is getting mad about this to Sean Connery,
like, you know, you know what it's, it's like the rock, but you know what else it's like.
It's like the paranoia on the American right about secret POWs in Vietnam.
The POW MIA thing, where they were like, we think that there's still Americans who were
taking captive in Vietnam and the administration, the government didn't want to know about it,
so they're just still there because they were betrayed.
And it's like, there's no evidence for this.
The Americans, like in terms of their policy, are remarkably precious about their troops because
they're their big special boys.
They are the specialist boys in the world.
Look, like James Bond is still in North Korea.
This is just something we
all have to deal with. There are POWs. That's the way it's all things.
But also at this point, it's just the film really wants me to care about this. It's like,
look, I need you to give up Willem DeFone the Lads. And I'm like, yeah, cool.
Like, kill them. Obviously.
They'll see IA death squad. Who murdered those children? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Those guys should die.
Like, yeah, unquestionably, kill them all now.
It's like 12 guys.
Yeah.
Who are all war criminals?
Like they need to die now.
Why aren't you killing them now?
Also, we can also talk about sort of the relationship
that this movie has between the American soldier
and danger, right?
Because when Chavez ding is recruited, they tell him, you know, it's it's it's
a illegal CIA death squad, extremely dangerous. You're going to be there six months. If you don't die,
you can take your pick of assignments or whatever. And like all of these guys are sort of briefed
on that basis of, oh, you might die, but it's in this way where like you're only supposed to
face death. You're not supposed
to experience it. And all of these guys fucking complain about this shit when they get killed,
not that I wouldn't complain if I was going to kill, but they're like, wait a second, nobody
they absolutely did tell you that this was a possibility very clearly upfront. You did in fact
sign up for this. Yes, yeah, you quite literally did.
I have only only one thing to say regarding this. It's a drop, so I don't have your tool here,
I need to fix the routing, but here it is for the audience at home.
I hope someone does kill him. That'll be really funny for the audience, but it didn't come through for you.
I'm afraid.
I look forward to listening to Matt.
Today we're sharing great work there.
At this point, Ryan figures out.
He does some computers hacking shit on Ritter.
He has to go and talk to America one last time.
And America looks like shit.
America is dying.
America has...
He goes out to James Sult-Joy and is like, is being deputy director of CIA like being
a troop?
And America goes, yes, Jack, it's exactly like being a troop.
It's a very interesting thing here, which is, so James L. Jones goes, you swore an oath,
right?
Not to the national security adviser and not to his boss, the president, but to his
boss.
And I thought he was going to say the Constitution, but he says the people of the United States and that's an interesting...
Oh God.
Those guys, oh, I've met them.
I think it's an interesting piece of liberalism.
It really is, yeah.
I'm not sure you would even get away with it now in a liberal movie of this point.
I think you would say the Constitution, but the idea that like the president is accountable to the piece. It's like a
parody of West Wing, right? Yeah, it would even go that far. There is something like quite charming
and dated about this film and that it is making a kind of like sincere argument for liberalism,
which we just like, you don't really see that much nowadays. You've more likely to see a film like the Jason Bourne franchise
where they're like, oh, like, liberalism's fine
but you have to do a little bit of fascism around the sides.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's really kind of like, I actually kind of like it
of sort of like nostalgic, but we're like,
I remember when people believed in the society
that we're living in.
Me too.
Yeah, we should do that.
I don't think you could make this movie now.
Yeah, I'm becoming Confucianist.
I'm being like, we need to restore dignity to the rituals.
We must, we must do this all, like, purify ourselves.
I'm supporting Kierst, armors like patriotic,
fucking like, like, patriot muscular liberalism.
That's what we need, guys.
Oh, I didn't realize there's gonna be muscular in that hold on.
Maybe I'm sold honest.
So Ryan's cat go hacker gets him into Ritter's system and he ends up hacking into his computer
and seeing all of his files on Ritter's.
This is another really good scene.
Yeah, while Ritter is just in his office and he, you know, he tries to distract him, it
doesn't work. Ritter just sees him on his computer remotely and it's like, are we get a fantastic
liberal pair of lines because
Rissa quite smuggly goes computer theft to very serious crime, Jack. And Ryan goes so
a crimes against the Constitution. This is a really good scene, right? Because like,
Jack is hacking into Rida's computer to read these files. And he like rings up the CIA
analyst girl. And it's like, all right, how long do I have, Jurek?
And he's like, well, as soon as you log in,
a riddle will be aware of it.
And Jack realizes that he has just logged in and goes,
ah, and he's desperately reading these things
while they're being deleted by Ritter.
Yeah, because Ritter doesn't know
how to select multiple files at once.
He tries to extract them by ringing Ritter up
and being like, I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Do you like tennis and like Ritter's on the phone?
Like, yeah, I like tennis.
Meanwhile, Jack is just desperately reading the computer.
I don't print screen, but it's printed
and it doesn't have favorite.
It's quite fun.
He manages to print it out and you see
that the two offices are across each other
in the whole like fucking.
Like some kind of team fortress two map like gravel pit or something.
And so so he storms across the hallway and they have a legitimate paper fight where they each
have pieces of paper in their hands. Ryan has to like illegal kill squad order.
And Ritter has the authorization from the National Security Advisor.
And the president. He has like a signed thing saying, I authorize a
writer to do it, illegal shits, love, love the president Joe Biden.
Yeah, he's just a little like fucking parks and rack.
I'm allowed to do whatever I want.
Yeah, yeah, he gets a really, really fucking well-delivered line.
He holds the left. He's like, you don't have one of these, do you Jack?
Yeah. Also, he tells Jack around like you like to Congress buddy like if like feel free to expose
this illegal kill squad nothing's gonna happen to me because I have a get out of jail of record
you fucking like to Congress you dumb shit you're the what you're the fucking full guy
like America is corrupt and there's nothing you can do about it and then of course what happens symbolically is the James L. Jones dies
Jack Jack like responds to to this like right and he goes like fucking I didn't know about this and like not even looking at him
Ritter's line is I do not recall that's your line
And it's so he's so fucking good. this is a testament to like Ritter's acting
for it to Zerni's acting or just like an indictment
on the way that I am physically,
but like this entire scene, I was like,
I'd kill him, I'd kill him right now.
It's just like being rude to this guy's face.
I'm like, I'd deck him, I'd lay this motherfucker out.
He does kind of like, grabbing by the scruff
of the neck at one point.
I thought Harrison Ford was gonna punch him.
I'm like, oh no, because it's about liberalism, you see.
You can't do that, you can't do that, because that'll be
vulgar.
You can't do violence when you're in a bubble.
You just have to get other people to do it for you in another foreign country.
That's right.
On the way out, he's like,
Ray, world's great, Jack.
It's great.
It's good to see.
It's a good scene.
And then, yeah, as you say, America dies.
This is the docks movement of the movie.
We go to America's funeral.
It's into, it's a cut with the fucking CIA
desk or getting like gunned down.
Yeah.
So maybe it's not like the fucking everyone saluting.
There's like 5% of the past that you American flags all the time.
Where are, while these guys are like on the phone being like, variable,
where are you, we need your help. And again, replay the drop in the mall.
They are war criminals, like fuck these guys. I'm like, I'm a sad that James Earl Jones is
died, but I'm really, really happy that these war criminals are being killed. It's very
like, totally confused. If nothing else, right, even if you don't feel that way about the war
crimes, it's an occupational hazard, surely.
And yet they're like, this is totally unexpected that anyone might shoot at me.
Yeah, but they've been betrayed as the thing.
Yeah, yeah, because that's the only way they can lose.
The troops can never fail.
They can only be failed, right?
John Clark is like on the radio, but they've cut off the radio and he's like grieved by it
because they're killing his man.
Also, the president gives a very self-serving eulogy, but the funniest part of this is that
he calls a three star admiral a soldier, his own eulogy, which is...
I can't write, can't write, can't his ass.
What do you like, some kind of, yeah, marina or something, whatever?
He really is Joe Biden.
He is Joe Biden. He's like, yeah, yeah, something, whatever? He really is Joe Biden. He is Joe Biden.
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, James Grieho is like an army guy.
And up someone does kill him.
He would call him a sailor, or a spurt?
Sailor, oh my God.
Yeah, there's an object.
Listen, listen, Jack, uh, uh, Samper, Samper.
Oh.
Remember when he just like stood on stage and just claimed that he had cancer?
What a fucking legend.
Honest to God, like we, we, we talk about this a lot.
Trump is the funniest president that's ever lived.
But Biden is really fucking funny in his own ways.
Not on purpose, potentially, but just,
not on purpose, potentially, but just, wah.
So he can even be funny intentionally.
The bit where he was like,
where you call the guy old and fat and say,
you did put your eyes on him.
I don't know how we don't have any funny leaders in the UK.
We don't, but it's right to be there.
Just cringe.
Like, I'm struggling to think about
Brahmin as to who was genuinely amusing.
Actually, to be fair, Liz Trust is opening to it.
I'm ready to hit the ground on day one.
Like, I'm so sorry, man.
Maybe we will finally get a funny Prime Minister.
So, so, so, customer and rissa, they call Clark up in Columbia.
And they're like, listen, if you kill, customer and rissa, they call Clark up in Columbia and they're like, listen,
if you kill, if you kill Jack Ryan for us because he's going to come down to Columbia,
then we'll turn the operation back on and we'll save all of your men.
Yeah, they're like, it's all Ryan's fault.
Yeah, it was like three men remaining.
Uh, yeah.
So, so we go to the airport in Bogota where Ryan, Steves off the plane is immediately confronted
with the scary racist crowd, like someone jostles him and there are many cops and it's all
a bit frightening.
And he immediately clogged his kidnap him.
But one of the best bits of this is something that we've, like, we don't see. It's only implied, which is either Clark decides for himself
or Ryan persuades him to do this, but he calls them
and goes, yeah, I killed the guy, turn the thing back on.
And they immediately overplay their hand and go,
yeah, we aren't going to turn the thing back on.
We just told you that because we wanted you to kill him.
And then it cuts across and you're sitting there
with Ryan still alive who is like,
I fucking told you so.
And it's really good.
It's really good.
But then the last half hour is just
transphunted from a completely different film.
Yeah, it's not good.
It feels like when they said to the director of Jason Ball
and you got to do action at the end.
So we just get 30 minutes of Willem DeFoe, you've got to do action at the end. So we just get like 30 minutes of like,
will him to throw a Jack Ryan,
have to go and rescue the lads.
And it's like, what?
They have to kill a bunch of guys who all have like,
extremely cool submachine guns.
But because it's Tom Clancy,
he has to show us in excruciating detail,
like, they go and they get a pilot
and then they go and they get the helicopter
and then they go and they get ch helicopter and then they go and they get
Chav and I'm like, what do there's one fun line where they get the helicopter where he's trying to he's like well
I'll sell it to you for two million dollars and Ryan goes well
Can I take it out for a test flight first? You're sure it would just be a deposit. Okay. How much is that two million dollars?
By the way that that guy was bonds Cuban contact from dying other day
There's there's a strange clinic, shit. There's a strange clinic.
Yeah, there's a strange clinic.
There he is.
Something else I'd like to know is that Jack Ryan, his boss, the actual deputy director
of the fucking CIA has been dead for 25 minutes at this point.
And he's clearly had a shitload of Jack Ryan deputy director of a CIA cards made. He's just handing you the fucking things out like, haffy. When he comes down
there he's just like, don't be right for a CIA lunch, don't be right for a CIA lunch.
He had to wait out there stepping for the...
Before James L. Jones was dead, like...
He was like, it's not gonna be acting when my man's dead. Let's just give it a second.
He's like going to see James L. or just the hospital and things that like fucking spill like out of his pockets.
Like, uh.
Oh, sorry, sir.
Fucking shit.
Yeah, no, he hands these out.
He gets one to the helicopter driver
and he's like, you take a company check.
Quote unquote, how hard you get it?
And it's not like it's somewhat nice.
They really, they really tried to do.
We have failed our boy's moment with the CIA death squad.
Yeah, they're like so sad.
Chavez-Ding is traumatized. Oh, no, you're traumatized by blowing up this children.
No, I feel so sorry for you.
I'm very sorry.
It must be very difficult.
But anyway, that's the thing that I was saying earlier is that is unironically what this movie
sets.
That is unironically what this movie believes is you should feel bad for him.
Oh no.
I can't even get one of those children made him feel bad, Abby.
I think you'll have a plenty of time to think about that in prison for the rest of your
life fucking monster.
So Ryan goes to see Ernesto, my notes say I'm bored,
and he says, Cortez is the traitor.
Cortez is the man.
Yeah, he's the only one.
Yeah, he's the only one.
Yeah, and the fucking movie.
9,000 years ago, he's like,
what, Cortez is the traitor?
Get him in here.
And Ernesto's like, uh,
Yeah, as they get some like strange bedfellow stuff,
he plays in the tape.
There's another good line here, which is,
he talks to Cortez. He lies for a living. He's in the intelligence business. Exactly.
You're in the intelligence business. And then he tries to beat Cortez to death.
He tries to beat Cortez to death for the back.
Hey, listen, all right. Look, maybe the drug kingpin stuff, not ideal, but I cannot knock
my man's weapon of choice there, which is of course the urban classic, the aluminium baseball bat.
Yeah, it's very cool.
Perfect.
Enjoying the electric blue as well.
Wow.
But as we saw earlier Cortez has a ride or die henchman, C-po.
He does.
He just comes in, just like sprays the room with a nozy, kills Escavada,
and this sets off the climactic final gunfight, which is not
very good.
Rhino, Willem Dafoe have to run through an underground base to rescue the captured walk
criminals.
There's two who are still alive.
Yeah.
They rescue them.
Everyone has a really weird gun because this was made during the depths of the assault
weapon ban.
So Willem Dafoe has this really sort of cut down
a R15 pistol. There's a guy with an oozy carbine at one point. So, yeah, they have a shoe
set. It's not very good. Ryan never picks up a gun, which I do appreciate. Yeah, that's interesting.
It's, it does kind of test the bounds of credulity given that people are shooting at him. And it's
a bit out of character
with hatred games as well, but it's clearly it's making a point. Yeah, when he killed that, killed that
teenage. Yeah, but it's clearly it's making a point that like, oh, you can be a hero without
doing things like being a true. That is quite nice. Again, you don't see a lot of films doing that
these days. Yeah, he doesn't even have to like, he doesn't even have to kill Cortez, because when he fights him, he just topples some logs
on top of him.
Yes, small amount of logs fall on him.
I have multiple notes here, one of which is that they fight around this fucking temple
of Doomstyle, big conveyor belt to a rotary crusher.
They don't even have the fucking common decency to toss a guy on that bad boy.
Like, this is just a waste of my fucking fine.
Second, if you had told me,
you'd show me the first 30 minutes in this movie
and told me that the finale, the final beats were,
we need to rescue our poor abandoned illegal CIA death squad.
No man left behind, Semperfy, who rob, brother.
I would honestly be like, no, you're fucking kidding.
There's no-
What happened?
What happened?
This film's just like got off the rails.
Anyway, Chavez shoots Cortez out of a helicopter.
Yeah.
There is quite a-
My sole note for this is silly helicopter bullshit.
No, I thought it was fun.
Ryan has to run for a helicopter and he grabs onto the ski
and will have to throw his like, take my hand.
Sorry, it's slippery because of all the child blood
Yeah, we're all smiling yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, most of us should be in prison forever
We rescued the illegal CIA kill squad and
Then then then we get liberalism, liberalism, don't we? This is the best fucking scene in the movie.
Yes, this is the greatest shit ever.
This was all worth it, I think.
This scene is so cool.
Every second of criticism, because it gives us this scene.
I can summarize the last 10 minutes of this movie with one drop.
A deriouf her.
The storms into the president's office. And he he's like they call me Mr. Constitution.
He gives an unironic how dare you sir to the president of the United States.
So good.
Oh my God.
The scene is actually really good.
It's an advocate for it. Like a very, very silly kind of politics,
but the actual scene, the writing, the acting is quite good
because the president like tries every trick
in the book in sequential order on Ryan.
It's really good.
First, he's like, I don't know what you were talking about.
Second, he goes, it wasn't legal, CIA, kill squad.
Congratulations to the president of the United States for winning the prime cost memorial
award in intelligence.
That's right.
But I, but I knew nothing about it.
Third, he goes, I did know something about it, but, you know, and it's sort of down home
and folks, the Joe Biden way where it's like, sometimes you got to get your hands dirty.
And then when this doesn't work, he changes gears. And he goes, okay, listen,
you're not going to expose me. You've got a chip in the big poker game now. You can just call
that in whenever and I'm going to cash you out. This doesn't work either. So then he changes gear
again. And he's like, well, it will destroy you. It'll also destroy dead America's legacy.
Yeah, because we're going to put it on James L. Jones, where the fuck are because he's dead?
That's right. He's he's going to go down for it. Yeah, because we're gonna put it on James L. Jones where the fuck are cuz he's dead?
That's right.
He's gonna go down for it, you're gonna go down for it.
I'm gonna be fine.
Custard and Rist are gonna be fine.
They're gonna slap on the wrist.
And none of this works.
Like, one of the things that I like about this,
I really like about this, is the idea that that kind
of cynicism, whether it's true or
not, is first and foremost a bluff to stop you from doing the right thing.
I really like that.
I really like the idea that this sort of, you know, when the US does outright illegal
shit that everybody knows is reprehensible, one of the ways that perpetuates itself is
everybody telling themselves,
oh, that's just the way it has to be.
You know, I'm being sort of coerced to do this
and they're not.
It's sort of this mutually reinforcing thing.
Which I guess is like where this film comes in
because this film is trying to be like,
no, you know, if you're ever in a situation like this,
you know, remember the values of liberalism
and be honest and forthright.
And it's like, I understand why
liberalism is like an emotionally appealing fantasy to liberalism. I'm like, I get it. Like,
yes, we make fun of them. If any of you are liberals who are listening, first of all,
but also, I do get it. I do understand why you cling to a dying ideology. I do understand why you cling to a dying ideology. I dare you for! I do understand why you cling to a dying
and provably incorrect ideology.
It's, yeah, I understand that it's like,
this is a nice thing, and I do wish the world
were worked like this.
It doesn't, but it's fun.
It's nice to see heroic whistleblower too,
because that's what he does.
He becomes a sort of honorary crank whistleblower,
and he does another great one of those sort of looks
of wordless contempt.
Look at mommy lines as well,
where the president's like, it's the old Potomac two-step jacket.
He goes, sorry, Mr. President, I don't dance.
That's fantastic.
That's the whole scene is fucking like,
like, manner from heaven to me, because it like,
what sets Jack off on this is that the president
is not sufficiently respectful to the memory
of the dead and evil CIA girls squad.
Jack, that's true.
He like ends it by being like,
I'm gonna call your manager, Mr. President.
I'm going to send it over to the side committee.
That Ryan does mention, you fucked up, You do this. It was your fault. And as a result,
American troops were killed and innocent civilians. He does remember that that civilians were killed.
Where are the some children involved?
Question mark.
It was a child involved bombing. But yeah, so he gives Kars of this like, Kars of
Christ stop him in the hallway,
and he does the thing from Patriot Games again, where he just turns back and he gives him
this like, look of boundless contempt and leaves.
It gives him the stern finger.
Yeah, and the last we see is he is testifying before Congress. He is like under oath, and
he's about to blow the whistle on the whole thing and blow the whole thing wide open.
Specifically, the last thing that happens is they say,
do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth, so help you God.
And he says, I do.
I can't travel.
It's like, oh, I can't travel.
And the entire way through this fucking thing,
again, they are playing the troupe shit
that's happening, like marching band music
and the fucking background.
Duh, duh, duh, duh.
Unbelievably, this movie, that's my biggest complaint more than anything. in the fucking background, unbelievable.
This movie, that's my biggest complaint more than anything. And it's fun to talk about with my friends as all these are, but this was fucking torture to watch.
This movie thinks so hard that it has something to say, but with you actually examine it,
what it has to say is, hey, there are some people trying their best out there.
And it's like, yeah, I maybe they're fucking are.
I don't care.
Fat noise, kill him. I don't give a fuck.
Very, very materialist sort of like the purpose of a system is what it does.
Sort of thing. That's right.
The leftist edit of this film would be, I would leave it exactly the same.
But just before the credits roll, I would put up a title card that says, Jack Ryan, bravely testified
in front of the Senate advisory committee and exposed the war crimes that have been committed,
sectioned at the hearts of the US government, pause, nothing happened.
Yeah, I'd keep it exactly the same, but during his meeting with the president, he kills
him with a gun.
That would be what I was.
Yeah. during his meeting with the president, he kills him with a gun, that would be what I was. Yeah, this movie is like less ambiguous
about sort of American power and the strength
of whistle blowing than three days of the condor
isn't it, 20 years later.
So I would say, if at the one end you have
three days of the condor where it's like,
you can maybe try and fight the system,
but the system is rigged against you.
And at the other end, you have your sort of modern, born, modern Jack Ryan stuff where it's like, I love the system,
actually, because it's necessary to do these things. This is a sort of point in the,
like, if you draw the line downwards diagonally between these two things, that's somewhere in the
middle where it's like, the system is good and it's worth preserving. And it will definitely protect you.
I understand, like I really do understand why,
as a liberal, you might love this,
because like I won't deny the idea of like going
into the president's office with authority
and like giving him what for, like logic trapping him
that does make me a little bit hard.
But what makes me harder is the thought of going in there and
Sh** him with a fucking gun like I
To do the logic game shit like I don't deny
That is kind of claimed individuals
That's right. We'll bleep it. It's fine. Yeah
Just says like him with a gun, leave that.
Not only for one of this.
Yeah, meet him with a gun.
We have a scientific ideology.
No, first, first, first, first.
What does this say about masculinity, right?
That's the podcast.
Yes, that's the podcast.
I do like that this film portrays,
because something that's very noticeable in this,
is that almost everyone with the speaking role
or any kind of power authority is male.
I do like that they portray honesty and self-sacrifice
and the greater good as a key masculine virtue.
That's actually quite nice.
That's because normally a masculine virtue
is on film are like violence you know, violence and like,
or are we doing like killing people
and we're like defending our families and so on.
Even the same character in Patriot games
was like pushed to violence.
In this case, he's not like ever.
It's nice that we get like civic masculinity in this.
Yeah. It's refreshing.
I mean, it's Balox, but it's refreshing.
It is, but it's as terms of like something aspirational, you could do a lot worse.
And like Ryan is the sort of like all-American hero. He's like, you know, he's relatively
gentle by modern standards. And that's something that I quite like. Also, it does one interesting thing with masculinity.
And again, I'm not gonna defend this as progressive,
but it does have a male spy using sex
as like a way of cultivating an agent.
Well, because he's Latin.
That's true.
So it avoids, yeah, it's racist.
So by virtue of being racist,
it's like becomes a bit less sex.
It's the old two step baby, you got to balance the racism.
That's right.
One step for one time, two step.
That's right.
We have a science, we have a science based dancing system on this podcast.
It's a good scum system.
We do.
Yeah, we do.
It stands for smartAM, Cultural Insensitivity, Unprovoked Violence and Misogyny.
How SMAM is this movie 10 out of 7?
This movie is jacking itself off.
How dare you, sir!
Play how dare you, sir, again, please go.
How dare you, sir!
For real though, I think in terms of like movie-ass lines, I think, because I mean like
liberalism isn't itself
a form of smal, although they do overlap.
But like, I would say in terms of like the lines,
I'd say it's like a three or a four.
It's higher than we've had in a while,
but there are these like, I don't dance,
Mr. President lines, which are quite fun.
I would go higher than three or four,
based on not the lines, the music.
Yeah.
When it decides to hit you with the America's happening,
Patriotism music, that is a smile.
Yeah, it is actually very pleasing to yourself,
especially with the James Orgents.
Yeah, okay, you could talk me up to a five, maybe?
I would do five, so.
Devon, I feel five slightly low,
but I'll happily stick with it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I feel like this film is going to pick up points later on.
Cultural insensitivity.
No, oh, see, send your...
A Latin J. Brine, a word that they have to see.
It's just got to be a nine.
It's just about the water, like...
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
I didn't dive through all of this information about Colombian water tables to not give this
a seven. Also, again, the cop thing, which is like, you know, not good, but are American
cops that much better.
Fucking.
The violence, the undri-unprovoked unjustified violence. I'm like, this is, I want to give
this a full seven out of seven for asking me to overlook the murder of children.
It's not often that a movie asks me to do that.
Not even overlook sympathize with.
Yeah. Seven, fuck it, actually. Also, uh,
SMAM seven as well. Let's fucking go. I didn't give a shit about this anymore.
They-they call me 007. Seven-S-S-S-MAM.
Seven cultural insensitivity. Seven unprovoked violence. Sorry uh, seven cultural insensitivity, seven unprovoked
violence.
Sorry, it's cultural insensitivity was nine, actually.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
We have a very conserved, like, effort.
We could have something that scores higher than the maximum you could possibly score.
Yes, yeah.
So seven, nine, seven, it's all come down to misogyny.
And as my gender psychiatrist has told me,
well, ladies, I can't allow.
Well, I mean, this woman being at
frotiously horny is not great, but at the same time,
she's not like that.
Yeah, it could be worse.
It could be a lot worse.
It has a sexy woman in there for basically no reason, in case you get bored, but again, it could be worse. It could be worse. It could be a lot worse It has has like a sexy woman in there for basically no reason in case you get bored
But that's again, it's day minimums
You know
Catherine Ryan barely in the fucking movie only this is sort of like
Smile with her face like like one of the sort of like curly brackets on your computer keyboard like one of those
Whenever whenever her husband's doing something patriotic. She just like one of those. Whenever her husband's doing something patriotic,
she just does one of those.
She can't be a girl bossen to send him more
because they have like a kid now,
so she has to actually just take care of the kid off screen.
Yeah, and we still see her working as a doctor, but like.
It is very, like a lot of the scenes are like everyone's a man,
which is like also the hard for a doctor,
but I had this, there's like only three women
who speak in the whole thing.
And it's like, like even that trans,
that car should have been a trans woman, I'm sorry And it's like, even that that trans, that that character
should have been a trans woman, I'm sorry. That's right. That's right. It's kind of a
stupidity to make this person a man. It's a really good stance. It really was. Like,
God said, he made me feel about like a three. I do a three, certainly. I think it's mostly a
misogyny of a mission. Yeah. That means that we have a total score of 26, which is the highest we have had in quite
some time.
I'm looking back over the thing here.
Back to the Conneries there.
Oh, I mean, it's actually higher than any of the Conneries got.
I'm looking back here.
What?
This is now the second worst film we've ever seen.
The only thing that was worst was Live and Light Die.
And even then, that was only just.
And in this ever changing world in which we live in.
Do we?
Right.
Award for intelligence.
Did we actually hand that to the president?
I think we can hand that to President Bennett for being like,
yeah, I don't know anything about it,
but if I did, it was a secret CIA, a KELSQUAD.
President Bennett.
It's always the banis.
This is the most worse than Octopacy.
Another banger episode.
It's worse than Goldfinger.
No, it's kind of the most.
It's about movies both morally and in terms of like watching it. I know we
don't rate enjoy ability of watching it, but like as much as I feel some affection towards
its politics, I wouldn't recommend you take two and a half hours and sit down and watch this.
Just watch the final scene between Jack Ryder the president because it's honestly so funny.
How dare you sir. So well, I mean, so it's the next one are we going to watch some of
all fears or are we going to watch? No, no, no, we're going to watch. Of course, we're going to watch
Air Force one because it's a movie. But do we want to do it in terms of Jack Ryan's career progression?
I think so because that's an unspoken Jack Ryan to me. Yeah, so in that case, we probably want to
say that Force one for when he's president because he's not president
in the next one, is he?
Does he become president at the end of some of all fears?
I don't recall, but it's a Harrison Ford one
and some of all fears doesn't have Harrison Ford.
So we'll do Air Force 1 and then we'll do some of all fears
and then we'll do the shissie Chris Pine one.
Yeah.
Jack Ryan shadow recruits.
Chris Pine.
What? I'm really interested to see how Jack Ryan
translates into like a modern political context. It's just going to be warm, but overborn. It's going
to be born again. How are you going to do it if he's not a lib? I have no idea. Imagine Jack's
life. I don't find it done. What do you know? Stop. What do you do? Meantime. Meantime, we have a
patreon. You can subscribe to it. We have a Patreon. Yeah.
You can subscribe to it.
You will get a bonus episode.
I haven't decided what the next bonus episode is gonna be.
You should probably do that.
The last one we did was totally spies the movie.
So you should tune it to the action.
Yeah, we actually had a really good time talking about it.
So like, I recommend it.
So yeah, subscribe to that.
It's genuinely a riot.
And we will see you next time.
Thank you for listening.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. Sorry I got a bit
heated at the end of that. If you are a government employee listening to this, that was a bit. That
was joke. Haha. Just a little bit of a joke between friends. Haha. Oh, anyway, uh, yeah,
Kiljane's Bond will return in two weeks time on the free feed with Air Force 1, technically
not a Tom Clancy Jack Ryan movie, but it does start Harrison Ford as
the president of the United States doing a bunch of Tom Clancy shit.
Which is, if you're familiar with the books, the trajectory of Harrison Ford's Tom Clancy.
Anyway, so why not?
Spiritually there.
Got to say, we did the Rock as a mainline episode.
Also, Alice still hasn't decided what the bonus will be.
I'll let you know that as soon as I can.
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