Kill James Bond! - S3E10: OSS 117: Mission for a Killer

Episode Date: January 4, 2024

OSS 117, your enemy on this mission is an amazonian indigenous tribe. Your ally? Why, the humble Billionaire Cattle Rancher... ------ FREE PALESTINE palestineaction.org/donate https://www.map.org.uk/donate/donate ----- Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com

Brazil is a paradise, aren't it? Hello, happy New Year and welcome to the first Kil'James Bond of 2024. I am Alice Gordor Kelly, I'm joined as always by my friends Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hey, Happy New Year! How you doing? Happy New Year. We're recording this in the past and you're listening to it in the future. And I'm not going to jinx it. I'm not going to predict anything about 2024. What's it going to be like? No clue.

No idea. No idea. You know? predict anything about 2024. What's it going to be like? No clue. No idea. It's only going to be like three days into 2024 when this comes out. Yeah, but considering how 2023 went, it's crazy what happened though. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a real shame, but those of you who have survived to listen to our podcast, we appreciate your continued support into another calendar year. And we're proceeding for the time being with the Euro spy season, the season of solidarity, because we are so in solidarity that we're in solidarity even when we don't need to be unlike, you know, the so-called casuals. Solidarity is not just for Christmas. Yeah, exactly. Unlike the casuals of the writers' Guild of America.

Well, like the Japanese hold out from the strike, just on an island. It's like, it's like, if saving yourself for marriage is holy. Saving yourself after marriage has got to be extra holy. And that's what we're doing by still doing a solidarity strike after the strike is ended. We have the Euros by monks and nuns, you know, cloistered at a remote abbey. But so we're back at it again with some OSS Sunday set. And this time, it's OSS Sunday set,

mission for a killer or Fudia Abaya, where he goes to Brazil. And let me tell you, this is the first one of these in the big folder of Euros by movies, the Hogs of Found Trust that came with a readme. So we are really in neurodivergence country now. This one is good. I really liked this movie.

I thought this was, was competently put together. Yeah. I think it looked pretty decent. It was nice. I liked the other one. I said, so I'm disappointed, but this one's good. Yeah, Cohen Matthews, he asked for too much money and he fell out with Andre Enbeon, so he was replaced, replaced with a guy who we'll talk about. He's with a straight guy.

Yeah, it's not as good an actor either, but this one had a budget, unlike a lot of Euros by movies, unlike a lot of movies we've seen recently. This had like a $20 million budget, which for 1965 is not bad. And they spent it on some like inventive things. There's some stuff here. You're telling me that we're not going to need to be in Vienna for half of this movie. I've found out. It's a budget.

It's also weirdly Roger Moore-ish because like it's basically the plot moon like Roger Moore There's a lot of guys wearing safari suits moon raker without the space stuff like and and also we open with this skiing scene earth raker We do I wrote Constant That's just a gardener, dude. That's all. Roger Moore in gardener. The constant gardeners. Yeah, absolutely. But so yeah, I even wrote down. I guess it wasn't just Roger Moore.

Skies just actually dressed like this back in the day. Because we meet O.S.S. Sunday set on holiday in the Alps, having a ski with a hot girl, only to be interrupted by, I guess, M, crashing into him on skis and being like, shut the fuck up, stop having sex with this woman, you have to go and do some spy bullshit now. Yeah, so Clark from Washington is here on behalf of M,

we surmise, and he knocks over OSS Sunday set deliberately, which is insanely dangerous, because like, they're skiing in 1965. Nobody's wearing helmets. It would have been very awkward if he'd gone over at a bad angle and just like, broken his leg, or like, he'd his head on a hidden rock and fucking killed him. Just perfectly, perfectly Michael Schumacher's hand.

Yeah. You just keep skiing at that point and you're like, whoops, okay. Yeah, just killed one of our top agents, like completely by fucking. Yeah, this is a job for OSS 118. Yeah, kill James Bond's safety tip. Where a fucking helmet when you ski? That's right. But yeah, so he takes him back to his hotel room,

and he shows him some video footage that they have of a guy's plane blowing up. Yeah. General Moran. So there's been this assassination attempt that we caught on tape from multiple angles. Yeah, we weren't expecting this at all. Yeah, dude, you've got you, Gennie, it's crazy. You've got like, that's right.

You've got it, okay. A guy got you, you've got Gennie, and then another guy got a, got in as sort of open top procession where a woman handed him the bouquet of flowers that kills you instantly, which just explodes in his face. Really bad hay fever, just bounce straight out. Yeah. And so Clark goes, these assassins, right, they always get killed in the course of committing

these assassinations. There's been four in a month or whatever. Always a suicide bombing and they're always committed by persons of no prior interest to the intelligence service. These people are just like, as far as we can tell, normal. He says, completely blameless politically, which is interesting. Interesting phrase. Yeah.

We believe they were conditioned by a drug. Yes. We believe they were conditioned by a drug. And then, then my notice in all caps, you have to stop saying things that sound like Doom samples. They stack up four of them in succession in this scene. Every single one of these. A drug that many factors kill us. That's it. Automated disaster. Underhipnotic suggestion.

Like, it's something about the cadence and the delivery. Just really, once it puts you in mind if that you can't hear it as anything else. Underhipnotic suggestion. The hipnotic suggestion. This is a, this is like, Sissy Hipnot gas from, man from Uncle.

It's a tonification. Like they like they suspect that these people have been given some kind of drug and then brainwashed into becoming assassins. So head down to Brazil, find shit out. Yeah, because Brazil is a paradise on earth. You're gonna be a journalist, meet this guy who I have a massive photo scan.

Yeah, fuck. Yeah, well, 10x10, glossy. Yeah, it's even an eight by 10 glossy It's like like an a three like photo bill of this guy. Yeah, it's just like check this guy out of unfair Like yeah, yeah, so your cover is a journalist go down there and meet our man Thomas Ellis. He's on his way out You're relieving him so get down there. Yes Um, and we get some beautiful aerial shots of Rio, which looks gorgeous. We say this guy maybe want to go there. Literally foaming this out of the window of the

airliner. And there's going to be a few places in this where it's like the sort of touristic aspect of this. It's what Vienna wanted to do with Agent 3 S 3, right? Brazil does with Brazil is a paradise, aren't it? on it forgot the Vienna's shit. Yeah, it's they were watching the Vienna ones being like I'm not gonna be a. But also one of the one of the things that clock says to him in the briefing is just like because he's like, oh, Dama was really enjoying having sex with this go in wherever we are now in the Alps and then he's like, there's loads of girls in Brazil. I bet you'll fuck like crazy down there whilst you're meant to be working. He literally does say this, yes.

Because Brazil's paradise, and I go, I'm not ready to go to paradise just yet. This is actually a different kind of first scene because we talk a lot about the 009 intro, whereas this is a staple of early bonds. This is the, your main character on holiday, getting rudely interrupted. Yeah, I think Mission Impossible 2 does this, don't they? Mm-hmm, yeah. There's two ways you can open a movie.

That's true. Your character is on a previous adventure. No, you can be your character on a previous adventure. Your character is on holiday. All the third option, 009 is dressed as a clown and gets killed. Yes. So he flies into Rear Edition Arrow. And in order to establish cover, the first thing he does is steal a child. Yes. There's a woman there with her three young children

and he just picks up her young son and just carries him and is just kind of like smiling and nodding throughout. Which, she doesn't say a fucking word about this, she's thrilled. No, I guess they must have met on the plane, but the idea is that she's actually just a traveling milk, she's here with her kids, and he's like posing, he's standing near them

so that people think he's a dad. And then there's two goons who are watching. One is I called Scarface, and the other is just like a normal guy. Yes. Normal guy called Scarface and the other is just like a normal guy. Yeah, normal guy in Scarface and Scarface has the best fake scar work in the business. He's trying too hard. He's got too much going on. Yeah, he's got like the bleached blonde hair and then like some brown sauce on his face.

Yeah, the most obvious like rubber scar like glued onto his cheek. It's incredible. I swear it moves position in between shots. Wrap around shades. Like alien eye-shaped fucking shades, like sort of oblong. Yeah, every once in a while, we run into someone in these movies

who has drip, like beyond the expectations for that role. And that's kind of this guy in this movie, rather than OSS on decent. This is your country Josh award in excellence, I guess. We have so many awards. We can't, we can't do it at award just for drip. We've got it. We've got it.

It's half of what we talk about. The henchman drip commendation, I think. This is the guy who's doing that. We'll workshop them in. You don't get like a medal, you get like a little paper slip for it, you know? Yeah. So these two guys observe him arriving with this lady

in her case, oh, that can't be a SSS on D set, because he wouldn't bring his family with him on a dangerous mission, right? But then there's an announcement of the ton of this, like, could Agent OSS on D set of this service come to the fucking front desk? It's fully just like Agent OSS 117, please use the white courtesy phone.

And it's like, yeah. So he reluctantly put down this child, which is not a sentence I was expecting to have to say about this movie. And he turns himself into the beautiful Brazilian woman at the desk and he's like, yeah, fucking OSS, I'll do so. It's really funny, because he's like, resolutely ignoring it.

And then when he gives his passport to one of the workers of a, I think they're calling for you. And he's like, yeaholutely ignoring it. And then when he like gives his passport to one of the works of it, like, I think they're calling for you. And he's like, yeah, all right, fucking. Oh, shit. So, so this woman introduced herself as Consuela Moroni. I guess named after the Mormon angel. And she's like, yeah, we'll take you to meet the guy with the massive Barfoso Ellis.

She looks, she looks kind of like 1960s me if my hair line was better. I think that's an unkind thing to say about yourself. I also agree that this movie, it gave me 1960s woman He's definitely my casting type if I was cis. Mm, and she gets in the car with him immediately tailed by the blonde guy with the scar. They've finally given my boy a good car. He looks out the fucking window and he sees this blonde guy waiting for him in yet another country pose. Just like leaning up against the garris,

he goes hands and is talking pockets. He gets in the car with Consuela and he's got some fucking sauce here pocket. He gets in the car with Consuela and he's got some fucking sauce here. I don't know. He loses them and then he tries to like, rizz her up, but the way he does that, he... Are you fond of children? Yes, when their mother is pretty. By the way, do you have any kids? Yo, is this Sony said just rised up, Consuela? Which the non-squotion of this movie rising alarmingly to be like, this isn't just a male thing. The way he delivers, by the way, do you have any kids? It's a little bit like, disclosure check this man.

I said, he says, I like kids if their mother is pretty, and he says, do you have kids? She says, no, no. And he goes to pity, and she goes, why? And he goes, I'd have loved them. It's like, oh, clever, clever.

It's good. And then he, he does the OSS Sony set line. He's like, the world of my dreams is always a brunette with dark eyes. And like, it's really good. She goes, I bet you say that to all the girls.

And he goes, no, only the brunettes with dark eyes. Which like, it's really good. She goes, I bet you say that to all the girls. And it goes, no, no, only the Brunettes with Dark Eyes. Which we've seen is true, but like, she's also into it, which is nice. He doesn't deliver it with the like, verb that Cohen Matthews does. He's too straight for this, but. So she makes him drive to the port. And she's like, oh, he's just down here, down.

Obviously, this is a set up alley. Go ahead, I'll wait in the car. And kind of down obviously this is a set up alley. Go ahead, I'll wait in the car. And kind of knowing that this is a set up, he takes the car keys off her and then goes into set up alley where he immediately dodges. I can hate to go into set up alley. Yeah, he dodges like a pallet of like, I don't know, fucking sandbags. Barrels and shit. That someone tries to, yeah, they try to drop on him

from a crane. And as he dodges out of the way, he does a perfect OSS pose. Like with the sort of like legs apart, shoulders up, arms out kind of spy pose. I love the spy pose. Fantastic. Every limb half bent.

And then three dudes trying to attack him. One with a machete, he gets hit a perfect Uncle Chop, just like, what? Between the shoulder blades, beautiful. One guy has a bowlass, which is great. Yeah, cool. You see, it turns it around on him too. He wraps the guys legs up with it. It's pretty good.

The thudson is a decent, I don't know don't know what to say good, but what we've seen, they're genuinely pretty impressive. Oh, you're 65? Yeah. I think there's one that's good and the rest are pretty good. I think I know which one is good. Yeah. It's the one that's coming up in a minute. But so he gets out of the setup and finds that Consuela is gone. The two guys who are sent there to watch him are sitting there in their car going, we can just leave, right? We can just leave from this. So he sneaks around them, obtains access to a fork lift, and suspends their car in the air just to fuck with them and then leaves.

Which I do appreciate. Yeah, and I like that, first of all, I like that he doesn't kill them. He's just like, Ba-da-da, ba-da, like you can see. We see actually, for most of this movie, he refrains from killing people unnecessarily. But also, there's a moment where Mr. Normal guy

just pulls a gun and scoff at his like, no, no, no, what I remember, we've got to make it look like an accident. I might not say, I hate it when I accidently get hit with a machete pipe and bolus by three-sided eyes. How is that going to look like an accident? He was going to take a machete to the head.

And then pass the order to the line. This is what happens when you delegate things all the time. It's a bad good management. Yeah, yeah. To be honest, they do not remember that it's supposed to look like an accident for the rest of the movie. Yeah Yeah, I guess they give up on that after the forklift thing like fuck it. Fuck it. Yeah. As he's driving along He hears on the exposition news network that Ellis has been injured and he's in hospital

They even say the specific hospital that he's in yeah, which is a little too convenient So he drops his bags off with the hotel and goes straight to the hospital, which again, my favorite, it's good, good work ethic from OSS, Sonny said, Bond wouldn't have fucking bothered. Bond would have like, the lady would have picked up a guy, oh, you need to go meet a contact and Bond would go, now I'm going to get a drink first and he'd go to the fucking hotel. Oh, he says straight to work, very industrious. Yeah, absolutely. So he goes to the hospital immediately detects another woman

who is asking for LS by name. And he just kind of like, nonces his way onto a lift with her. Yes. Yeah. Don't do this. Don't try and risk up strange women and confine spaces. It's a beautiful blonde woman named Anna Maria. She kind of looks a bit like your girl. Right. She does. A little bit. She does. Yeah.

She's very beautiful, which we appreciate on this podcast. We'll do that up. And she's going in to see the exact same guy. She found him by the side of the road. She's just a stranger. He got car bombed, and she, I guess, rescued him from being car bombed, because he was car bombed insufficiently. He was just thrown clear of the car bom.

Meanwhile, the other guy who was with him was car bombed to a permanent end. Yeah, if you don't wear a seatbelt, you'll just be thrown clear of the explosion. Yeah, it's actually safer. In quite a lot of cases. Exactly. Kill James 1's safety tip. Do not wear a seatbelt. You should have like one and a half drinks as well before you get in the car,

just to like really clear up your decision-making. Yeah. So it's a lot to you. Yeah. So the guy's going into surgery, as they find out from the world's least helpful nurse, who just goes past them and she's like, yeah, he's in surgery. Is it serious?

No. She goes, I don't think so. What's probably pretty serious if she's going, you're not supposed to tell people that either. Like that's confidential medical information. It's really loose with that. Yeah, minor sort of surgery. What would nurses do in the 60s that they were just like

this, whereas now, if you just say, excuse me, where is this patient, a nurse would be like, who the fuck are you? Get out. Do not fuck with nurses. Kill James Bond's safety tip. I will say for the sake of just observing these things that every nurse in this hospital was A, impossibly beautiful, B, wearing stiletto heels to work. This is true. Which, return with a V. I mean, it must have been exhausting. Yeah, it's strange.

But it's strange when I sent this guy to the sexy hospital when he died, it's like the fucking carry on. When I go to any hospital, I go to a sexy hospital. He's gone to the Winter Pills hospital and the nurses are all sexy porn nurses, and fuck you. Anywhere I go as a the sexy hotline. He's gone to the Winter Pills House, but the nurses are all sexy porn nurses and fuck you. Anywhere I go as a conjugal visitor.

So they're prepping him for surgery. And by the way, I do note that Anastasia equipment used to look a lot more fetishy. There's a lot of rubber and straps involved in this contraption. Yeah. I fucking love this. Cronsteera's yes to this guy. He's got rocks genuinely. This guy has one mission.

Please help. He's going to fulfill it. The doctor's like, you know, so your scissors, clamps, four steps, nine millimeter Luca, what, and then a guy with a nine millimeter Luca bursts in, shoots the guy on the operating table. Kill the hell out of the wall.

It's the first and foremost. Yeah, just stone dead. And then the surgeon and I guess the Anisatist both go for him. Yeah. Like in self-defense. In self-defense. Huge respect for they just went for him. I don't know what they train these doctors to do.

The surgeon's got a scalpel. Like, what the know what they train these doctors to do. So she's gonna scalpel. Like, what the anesity's gonna do? I don't know. Fucking put him to sleep, I guess. Like count back what's in my thousand motherfuckers. He's coming at you with the mask. You allowed to kill himself defense as a doctor. He's like, you're allowed to anesity

as a self defense. It's more I do know home, but I'm thinking I'm back. I'm back. You know what I. It's more like, I do know harm, but I'm thinking I'm back. I'm back. You know what I mean? It takes both of these doctors half a second to forget the hypocritical. Well, the research is like, rowing scalples. Well, actually, they feel like I was transgender and they're like, it's time to do harm. Ch-ch.

But, so both the doctor and both the surgeon and the anaesthetist are killed in the course of doing this. Like a duty. The nurse is kind of like flee. Ours is Sunday set burst into the room with Anna Maria. And we have the best fight scene in the movie. The problem is it's sometimes this happens in a movie where you have one guy who can fight or stage fight way better than everyone else.

The guy with the Luger who is just, he's in full surgical scrubs, so either way, which is masterful. Just pick that off the disguise rack. That guy is so much faster and so much better at selling the fight scene. He's so good. OSS Sondyset is. It's a really good fight though. Yeah, and he's determined to kill OSS Sunday's that is. It's a really good fight though. Yeah, and he's determined to kill OSS Sunday's that. Like he tries to strangle him with some shit.

I like that Anna Maria tries to help. She like stabs him with a syringe at one point. Yeah. I like her generally as a character. She's always trying to help. She doesn't always succeed, but she doesn't just sound like, eh. Yeah, she does scream a lot and get captured a lot, but I'll turn that, you know, yeah It's guys kicking their ass is like the first half of the fight. Oh, yeah, it's really phenomenal genuinely extremely good stuff

But as in all things it ends up getting thrown out of the window She's a sondi says favorite way to kill it guys Special move yeah is to throw a guy out of a window I'm not one time a guy just left off the balcony first. Just suicide edge, which is like a guilt itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they flee the scene. And Annamarie is like, well, why didn't you talk to the police?

And he kind of unconvincingly tells her, I'm a gangster. By the way, here is my cover name, who bowed Del Qua, and she goes, oh, the guy who got car bombed and then shot, man, terrible day for that guy, after all the else. The shot car bombed guy, he gave me this lesser and this key ring for you, like by name specifically. So if you're him, then I can give you these

and have done with it, you know, go back to my ranch. Has a really good life, this is one of my only drops I have, but there's, there's no leaving the hospital. But are we going to wait for the belief? I don't have the time, darling. It's like, no, can't be asked. No. So, the go to Annamarri is gorgeous house. I'm not telling sure what she, oh, when we do find out later what she does, but it turns out she is spectacularly wealthy. And he says, do you want to have dinner with me, even though I've just killed a guy?

Are you, are you sure what I was saying? No, I guess not. He literally tries to pull, stay out of this, don't get involved, don't leave the house, but also go on a date with me. Which is really smart. Yeah, hard to do, but he pulls it off, though. Yeah, well, the way he does it is, like, well, you know, of course it'll be safe. You'll date with me. Which is smart, yeah. Hard to do, but he pulls it off, though. Yeah, well, the way he does it is like, well, you know, of course it'll be safe. You'll be with me. Massive, massive ego. But this is his like favorite move on her. Yeah, exactly. And the notebook has next location in it, which is Ellis's office, his address. So, Sonny Set goes there and he's sleeping around. There's some cool flute music. Is he's doing this? Very cool.

Very funky. And then another sexy lady, a third, sexy lady strikes the movie. That's right. Brazil is a paradise, aren't it? Yeah, this is another Consuela Moroni. Yeah, this is Secretary. This is the same woman.

And she's, you know, wait a bloody minute. Hold on a sec. She's wearing one fit. Is the only fit she wears for the entire movie and it's not good. It's her. It's all, it's like baby blue. Like, what is it? It's bad.

So the 60s outfit, high risk high reward. But there's some real bangers in here. Yeah. She's like, hi, I'm Concealer Maroney. And we're like, I'm not, that was the same name of the other lady gave. What's going on here, right? And at this point, OSS deploys something that he does twice in this movie where he goes, why are you white? He does this. Yeah, he says almost verbatim the same to each woman. You don't look the Brazilian type. Right. Why are you white and blonde? What was why you white?

Yeah. And they always answer him with like, yeah, my, my father was Brazilian, but my mother was Swedish or Norwegian or some like that. It's the racial politics of this movie. So a lot of white people in South America do not worry about it. Change my name to Maroni from Mangala. Again, the racial politics of Brazil and this movie, both interesting in their own way, because there are a lot of people of color in this movie as domestic stuff.

And then the only women that OSS only said is interested in or talk to or get any lines are extremely white. Again, the fact that this is sold as like a kind of tourist thing for Brazilians also interesting. But yeah, she's like, okay, listen, I was his secretary. He's got a hidden safe, which he's already found. You I guess have the keys for it, but it's missing the one key that actually opens it. He has three keys on this key ring, and there's only two. And so she says, your next contract is a friend of Alice is called Mr. Salano. Go and meet him, but not in the next scene, like give it a few extra scenes before you go

see him. Yeah, go and meet him on the sugar loaf under the big crystal redental statue. But not now, do it later. Because first you've got to go and have dinner with Anna Maria at a spectacular outdoor restaurant. Wanna find out where that is? Beautiful views. It does look good.

Beautiful views. And then he kind of like, they have terrible drinks though. They have Mexican champagne and Portuguese scotch. Yeah, he's snooty about the drinks, which is like, yeah. And we get hit with maybe the most overt kind of patronizing mizajini in the movie because she gets mad at him for like involving her in this and not telling her anything. He goes, have your question. Well, well, well, now I want to charm him little temper you have. Nice. She is, she is very enamored by it. And I guess,

see how charming you find it when you're going headfirst over this fucking cliff asshole. Yes. I mean, this kind of, you go now the winner. You're the least smart, you know? Like she sort of contradicts him about something else later and he goes, well, there's that temper again. And it's like,

Standing up yourself and your own independence is just actually just makes you more childish. Get fucked. This is the must be that fiery Brazilian temperament I've heard so much about. Yeah, because they go watch a parade and he goes play But why are you white? Yeah, he goes Why and he goes, but why are you white? Yeah, he goes, I'm not white, but like, why? You don't know how the Brazilian vibe to you, you don't know that sort of. Any anyone can be Brazilian? I, you know, it's,

but yeah, because Brazil is a paradise, aren't it? It's also carnival, I guess, or there's some carnival bullshit happening, so we can take that off. And she goes, my father's Brazilian, my mother is Norwegian. Mm-hmm, yeah, cool. I do like that at the end of the night, they kiss, but he doesn't push it.

He gets back into his car, he's ready to drive away, he's not going to try and fuck on the first date, which is nice. It's just like that. And we see that she is being watched by goons. and we see that she is being watched by goons. She's just... And this movie is like clearly the biggest influence for the modern satire, like OSS Sondicep Rihanna Rapa, and one of the things they do in that is, it's in the first one as well,

is the guy with the comically big walkie talkie being like, he just left, right, following him around. This happens about 50 times in this movie. And so this is the first example of the guy's like, he just left. You can fucking like get her now. It's really funny to see the parody first and then the like, yeah, this is a very diverse direction we've done this and so he goes back to his hotel where bad consueiler I've started I've taken to calling her evil consueiler, the one who set him up. The fake consueiler. I've started I've taken to calling her evil consweiler the one who said him up fake consweiler. Yeah, yeah, I'm waiting for him and she's still pretending because she doesn't know

He's about the real ones better. She's like, oh, I got scared and run away like she's still trying to cover for it. He plays along. It's fun It's very clever. It's good stuff. And she's like I would like to like sleep in your bed overnight because of how scared I am. So scared. So scared. I need to be fucked until I'm not scared anymore. That's right. I mean, this is my personal trauma anxiety disorder also. Yeah. Yeah.

It's seen that meme where it's like, I just need to get railed 60 hours of mental health. I just need to get railed. She's in the first bit of that. Yeah. Yeah, very much. He gives up my tranquilizer town. Yeah, this is the thing, right? There are a few things that Sandy said carries on him in this mission that I'm going to question.

And the first one is that he goes into the bathroom and he's like, here's this bottle of woman tranquilizers I have to take two of these. And because she's evil, right, she like pretends to swallow them. And let me tell you, you see more believable fake pills while I'm on psychiatric ward. Like she's like, mmm, delicious pills, which... Okay. Yummy, I don't think I've probably been my valet.

Mm-mm. She's like, a pill. The face I make on a full of pills. Um. He gives her the tranquilizer pills and then starts and probably my valet. Mm-mm. That's all full of. The face I make on a full of pills. He gives her the tranquilizer pills and then starts undressing, which made me very concerned. But then we wipe to the morning and we learn that he did not if I get in bed with her, he's slept in the chair,

which I was like, oh, fuck, thank God. In the cuck chair, yes. He would do it. So he gets up and he starts, he goes into the bathroom for whistling. But first,, he goes into the bathroom, the whistling. But first, something else happens during the night, which is that the good conswer, a secretary conswer, who is suddenly French, finds somebody breaking it into her flat slash Ellis's office, which is the same thing.

I should explain the French thing. The dub just drops out at that point and returns to its original French. So she's like Ar Arate, or whatever. It's fine, I would worry. There's a really, so she's some reason like sleeping in the next room from Alice's office, which is like unusual,

also in like in her clothes, in her costume, which is odd. But she calls the hotel, cause I said something, so it was like call me if anything goes wrong. He calls the hotel and the fucking goons have tapped the phone because they're like, ha ha, don't count and they're going to rescue you. And then like fucking scoff face of he is I'm like, oh shit.

It's because so yeah. Yeah. So then we cut to the morning and he wakes up. She's still, he believes tranquilized. He goes into the bathroom, starts whistling. He shaves, and for some reason, this is the funniest thing to me. They've misdubbed his razor with a chainsaw, so he just starts shaving, he just says, like, mmm, and it's like, what's like clear casting in the ass, dude? It's tough. Sometimes you need more powerful shaves than that.

Yeah, yeah. I thought that was just what 60s shavers sound like. My grandpa used to have one of those rotory shave things that like always was really loud, but seemed so. So it's, it's, it could be that much like the Nassong get down. She let some goons into the rush. He, he knows that this is going on right.

So he's, he's setting something up here. He's got a device in the bathroom with him and it's a little little tape recorder and a paper. And you see him like running his finger down his tape recorder spines and one of them is like conversations on the phone. One of them is like guy in the bath and he's like all right beautiful puts that on and then sneaks around to see her letting the goons in. Just like yes. This is like genuinely like really, quite good stuff. It's very clever. Yeah.

So she lets goons in and then he gets to my gunpoint and once again, I appreciate that he doesn't kill them. You can start. But this is the thing. I return again to the Sondi-Set Brazil loadout where what he took with him for this mission was bottle of woman tranquilizers, coil of bondage rope, because he just goes, hey, I have this.

Oh, really some rope out. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, okay, go tie these guys up and then yourself. Yeah. If you're just a joke. Yeah. His line is, you know how to tie a parcel.

And while I should be feeling normal about this I come out of this mostly thinking about how I wouldn't trust this woman to tie a parcel He ties her up in character. I know it's a Ashoketan This is the thing right I It kind of the really focus too bad. It doesn't you know, but you're a connoisseur. That's fine. I am connoisseurs, please. But he leaves them all tied up and gagged on the bed together and then tells them, it's fine. Just breathe through your mouth, which is incredibly,

incredibly, this is a good way to fucking infinite just someone to death. You can't do that shit, bro. Like, I'm drafting the call out post on OSS 117, right? You shouldn't be leaving someone alone tied up anyway. You especially shouldn't be leaving them tied up with their mouth covered, because what if they get a fucking cold? Yeah, what if there's a fire?

Yeah, what if one of them has fucking asthma or something like that, you're just gonna kill these guys. Also, you don't want to interrogate them? Well, he's gonna do that later. Yeah, no, his stated intention is to come back and talk to them, in which case this is an extremely risky thing to do. Hmm. And a little bit sadistic, also.

Yeah, it's fucking weird. Yeah, it's very straight, but just so happens that he's left the tap on in the bath, and it starts to like fill up. That's also irresponsible. Yeah. This guy, much lesser, but also some wasted water. And he's wasted water as well. Bastard.

Yeah. So, so now he goes to meet the guy. Yes, yes, the contact and the way the way he introduces himself, it's not funny, but it's funny to me. I don't know why, but it's the first line out of this dude's mouth. Henry K. Salano. Yes. You recognize this bunch of keys. It's just for some reason, just really. I'm going to tell you, I don't know if I would recognize a bunch of keys. It's not like there's any key rings on their e-virt. It's just two keys.

Could you say the alphabet backwards? Do you? I guess I might go, well, no, but I do have a key, which the guy who got Carbombed gave me, and said, if I ever got Carbombed, give this key to someone. Very specific. If I ever get Carbombed, give this key to some guy called people there. Just a letter that just says, open if carbon.

Yeah, different letter for every assassination method. Yeah, I got these all the safe in my house. Yeah, so Sony says, that's fantastic. Brilliant, well, we've got the key. Now we can unlock the next level. So let's go to the office. By the way, here are the cigarettes that alert you instantly. Yes.

Yeah. Again, this is the same gadget he used in fucking Bangkok with the cigarette thing that you can use to, like, station a guy outside. They've modernized them a bit into menthols. Also, small detail here. When he parks the car for this, he completely forgets to put the handbrake on.

It just rolls forward in shot and it kept that in. This plus the bath leads me to think that OSSODE sets character floors, if he's just like slightly absent-minded. Yeah, yeah, like dangerous leaps. He just keeps leaving stuff about the place and be like, oh, oh, what a hell does that go on. Yeah. I could have sworn I tied and tied up someone earlier.

Well, it's like the thing in the, in the previous, so I said movie where that guy like opens the car and he goes, who are you? It's just like he's very genuinely just like, help remind me, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Have I met you before? He goes into the thing, finds Goodkins well, a dead,

like dead, a type. Yeah. Interrupt Scarface and Normal Guy trying to like weld their way into the safe. And the guy, the normal guy, does my favorite thing, my beloved, the instant throwing knife attack. When you just have that on deck, when a guy says, hey, what's up?

And you've been in throw the throwing knife that you just have on hand for this. You gotta be ready. You gotta be ready. I do. I do. I would love gotta be ready. Deal, I deal. I would love to have like an instant throwing knife attack. So he shoots the normal guy, and then there's a third guy hiding behind the door.

So him and Scarface and Goon number three. Have a funny fucking Goon gang has one guy who just goes straight to groundwork immediately. Yeah. This third guy just like does a forward roll that doesn't get up, just has kicking him. Yeah. Yeah. And he's very unfortunate because in the course of this fight, the groundwork guy gets

set on fire, puts it out and gets set on fire again. He is a fire second time harder. Imagine getting set on fire twice in the same day. Because the Skar guy, he has the welding torch, and so he's menacing him with this. He's setting half the room on fire, and he ends up setting his own boy on fire twice. Yeah.

Yeah, I might know he says get welded idiots, which, okay. So, Songdecept beats them, he retrieves a file from the safe, um, and he puts it. And then the cigarettes start going off. Now, here's something really quite upsetting to me, it's like that's the end of Scarface. We don't really see him again in this movie, and I, I missed him a lot, but I love

it. I'm fucking dies in this because. He's got a big lot of an ultimate one. Yeah, his, his, his cigarettes go off, and so he waits until everybody's in the room. The gas from the welder is still going. And then he just throws in a lit match and blows up an apartment. Yeah, it's a three extra reinforcement goons running. And he does commit murder at this point. It's a double tap.

Having refrained from killing the previously, he's like, right, the body counts go from zero to five right now. Having like having refrains from killing the previous he's like right the body counts go from zero to five right now. I just left could have just left the situation. Meanwhile, think and I'm back. Yeah, the horse from the sink or the bath that he's left on is is dripping through downstairs in the hotel. And so the guy below calls the hotel and they find the like two guys and bad conswell that he has left tied up on the bed. And as they, as Osset Sondisert gets back to the

outside of the hotel, we see them getting arrested, which is in a crime to get tied up in a hotel room. I mean, I fucking hope not. First of all, the kind of repressive laws they haven't preserved. But secondly, and to, I don't know, embark on a thing of slightly more serious ness here. Throughout this movie, we've been seeing Brazilian cops, right? The like, Polycy and Milita, right? They're all armed. They're all wearing like combat helmets and shit. He gets directions off a couple of them on horseback earlier. And the vibe was like, these guys are chill. Brazil is a paradise, aren't it?

This is filmed in 1965. Brazil was one year into a military dictatorship that would last another 20 years. And yeah, a large part of it was based on making Brazil appealing to tourism, right? And this idea that Brazil is stable and secure and don't worry about any of the kind of consequences of this. I mean, this was a coup that was orchestrated in large part by the United States and something called Operation Brother Sam because they were worried that Brazil had its first center left president, Jial Gula. And he refused to assist the Bay of Pigs invasion,

which put him on Kennedy's shit list. Kissinger thought he was going to make Brazil the China of the 1960s. So they just had the military overthrow him in a way that is still, like, no one's ever been charged or convicted for any abuses to do with the dictatorship. They're still finding stuff because it's like even more successfully covered up than

any other sort of dictatorship in South America. And so it's uncomfortable on that level to see the movie be like, check out Brazil. It's cool. It's uncomfortable to see it be like, here comes the Brazilian cops. It's also a little uncomfortable to see a woman get bundled into a windowless van by a military dictatorship that fucking gonna put her on the powder, like it's bad. We don't see them again, so I feel like that's not... No, she's just like that bit in Doctor Who where the master gets arrested by the Nazis.

And it's like, that's probably not good. Yeah, well, let them have that guy. So he like leaves them to their fate and goes to check in. Oh, he's like, Oh, damn, I wanted to interrogate them. Question mark. I'm going to go check in on an anemia anyway. So, oh, first, first they have the scene him and Saleno on the anomeria anyway. So, Oh, well, first, first they have the scene him and Selena in the car.

And when they open the file and it's got dried flowers in it. Oh, yes. Yeah. And this hits the big racism button. Excuse me. I forgot this was now. Well, he looks at this. He looks at this flower and he's like, what a flower is used for making drugs? Who makes drugs? Oh, have I got the answers to that?

These flowers are going to lead me to the Indians who extract narcotics from them and to their customers. Doesn't know anything to make that, it's just a deduction. He's assuming that and he's wrong also. So because of, because of, because of woke, I didn't immediately realize that he means indigenous people that Brazil. So like, wait, what the fuck in miles away, dude? What are you talking about?

Like, he means like indigenous people. He's like, yeah, because I'm like, woke and saw him gay. I didn't immediately realize that. I was like, whoa, this is a weird turn. But he's like, yeah, I'm gonna find these indigenous people who are like making these drugs. So I was like, oh, okay, there are secret villains are they all right? That's what we're doing. So now he goes to see Ann Maria and she's she's like kissing him Immediately horny. Yeah, and in the course of kissing him she pulls out a fucking grenade and is like About about to Manchurian candid at him.

And he sort of pushes her away, grabs the grenade, throws it out of the window where it perfectly lands next to the two goons who are watching the house. And the lesson from this, kill James Bond, safety tip, always drive for the seat belt off with a couple of drinks in you, but also, if a grenade explodes near you, walk it off. Just leave.

Walk it off, because it goes off next to there's a one guy. He like, limp subiton, he's fine. Yeah, he was letting the red veins around the edge of his screen slowly pull back, and he was feeling fine again. Yeah, so he's like, it's fine, don't worry, I have something for this. Let me give you an injection.

So again, I know that this man, he left for Brazil, right, complaining about how he wasn't gonna have sex, thinking about how many women there are in Brazil, and what he brought to Brazil was bondage rope, women tranquilizes brackets bottle, and women tranquilizes brackets injectable. Well, he actually injects her with the antidote to the flower.

And I'm like, how the fuck does he have that? Why'd you get that? Especially since you haven't been back to your hotel room, so you must have taken that with you when you left the people tied up, which is before you even knew that there was poison involved from flowers. Where'd you get this, my man?

What is this shit? You're just injecting her with shit. Just sailing completely not. It's completely injections. Does anybody fucking say where'd you get that? We don't even know what flower that is. She's just injecting her with shit. It's just sailing completely not. She's just completely injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just saying completely not. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just saying completely not. She's just injecting her with shit.

She's just saying completely not. She's just saying completely not. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just saying completely not. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just saying completely not.

She's just injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just saying completely not. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just injecting her with shit.

She's just saying completely not. She's just injecting her with shit. She's just saying completely not. She's like, you've been drugged and you tried to come me with a grenade. And then she said, oh, thanks for fixing me. And they kiss and my notes say, not in appropriate time. No, guys. You, she, like she's got missing hours. You're standing over her with a needle. Like now is not the time to be kissing this woman.

But he does. Take out a fucking hospital, like test her blood, maybe to get the dip. You're sentenced. You're sending it out of it? Nine tenth no sentence like 9 10s possession so I have a drop of her saying As if she's hearing it for the first time so yeah Can you hit the consent on again? Of course I can. I don't have the time, darling. Yeah.

I just found out my actions may have heard other people have been made aware of this. Just found out these pills are woman tranquilizers. That's crazy. So, the woman healing pills. Oh fuck. Fuck, they gave me the woman tranquilizing pills. Um, so she is like, listen, we got it, we got to go out to my ranch, my cattle ranch in the country and, and that here because that's where the guy was on his way to.

It's where my brother Miguel is. We're going to, like, these indigenous Americans live from nearby. Exactly. So, they go to the, they go to the, the car on fire. They do. On the way there, they're driving and the goons big plant is to spread petrol, gasoline, across the road, set it on fire,

and then they just drive through it anyway and set the car on fire. What I respect about this is that OSS, he's working with a limited budget. All of these goons are also working with a limited budget. Did you feel like, fire on the road will do? Yeah. Some shit I found, you know, is the red barrels?

At least make them stop and we can shoot them. Yeah, they're doing the best with what they've got. Yeah, they put some fire in front of them, they stop and they put some fire behind them. Smart, they're gonna shoot them now, but he just drives through it and they go, Oh fuck, fuck. He's trying to just drive away from these guys,

but he's hiding in the like jungle with Annamaria and a snake sees her and she screams, so he's forced to kill two guys and then just take their truck which is kind of unprovoked violence but it is like where's a woman provoked violence they were aren't they would have shot him if they found him I guess like and then yeah yeah her friend does want all baby blue like headband pretty good pretty good baby blue 60s in this one oh Oh, she she's gorgeous. Yeah Take me back technique color technical. I say good to save me technical. Yeah, good good good. Good fits on her in this one

So yeah, they go back They drive to the reason call her now. What does that mean? It's the specific dye transfer process that they used before Eastman code I came up with good enough color film to do it in one go like this specific look is is because of the way that they made prints of films back in a day. Oh really? I thought it was just so I thought like they just like colors changed in in the 97 it like some wine dark sea shit That like that's just what everything looked like then. Yeah, no, it's yeah, well everything was in black and white for quite some time and then suddenly everything was in really bright colors. And now it's like, well that's what ration colors after during the war and then that's true.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, bring back the kind of technical assaturated. I need that. So they drive to the absurdly large nice cattle ranch where we're like, okay, cool. These are the good guys in Brazil. Yeah, our enemies, the indigenous people of Brazil and our allies, why the humble cattle ranching millionaire. Don't worry about it. So Miguel, Miguel, Miguel, Miguel, Miguel, so Miguel

shows up on horseback. And he's like, all right, listen, I'm gonna take you to the billionaire, cattle ranch owner. That guy's way better at cattle ranching than me. So he's gonna have some fucking answers. Yeah, he's also, he knows all about the local people and their customs. He'll guide us to them and I'm like,

aha, yeah, cool man. Yeah, so they fly out to his even larger, more palatial ranch, and you really, oh, hey, we were just like, destroying the Amazon for this, like, for cattle, and now even worse, for feed for cattle. I know. You know this guy's evil because he's like, actually evil, not just in the movie evil,

because he's got his own private airstrip, where he's wasting for them in a Rolls Royce. And the kind of, I think about the Fitzgerald onus of bringing a Rolls Royce to a cattle ranch in the Amazon, you can only get to by plane. And I get very angry. Yeah, no, it's bad. My nerds say these cattle ranchers must be killed. No, yeah, should truly. Yes. Um, it's how I got to drop that kill this white demon. Thank you.

Yes. This is, this is, this is my and Lula's policy for bringing Brazil into the 21st century. Um, the Brazil viewership going up, up, up, um, you think the Lula expert, you haven't experienced the KJB gulag. That's right. I mean, listen, I think a lot about South American politics increasingly lately, because I went on that big Chilean kick. And then Brazil also, I'd like to recommend a book, actually, because we did it on, on left on red. Friend of trash

future, Yara Rodriguez-Fowler's, there are more things. Is some great stuff if you want to understand Brazil and the military dictatorship better and also it's got lesbian's in it which I'm also so much of the transfer be it in Britain now was done in Brazil first. So much of the like the gender ideology, shit and like protecting schools from like the influence of gender ideology. That shit was like pioneered in Brazil like years before I was talking about that here. There's a kind of like fucking Catholics. Yeah, there are lessons for us. Well, also in evangelicals. And even like, yes, the Catholic evangelicals. Bolsonaro is like a big, big evangelical guy.

He really caught those guys and or courted, I should say. And yeah, I mean, Brazil has a lot of like lessons for other places, but also like its own conditions at some places I like thinking about them even when they make me very melancholy as with a lot of places in South America, you know. If Europe ever gets too terrible, then I have to pray to God that South America doesn't join it because that's, you know, I would like to go to South America. Very, very badly. Anyway,

this is a wildly off topic. They're taking in turns. Argentinians doing the weird thing right now. You just avoid them. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Venezuela might be about to be on some shit too. I mean, Venezuela might be about to be on some shit too. The point is this guy, Leandro, he's like, hey, check it out. I'll take you to dinner. His ranch is already more of an evil lab than the evil lab we're gonna see. Right, because it's fucking carved out the jungle

in order to build like a plantation house on it. His stuff, by the way, he has maids in a butler. All of his maids are black. They're all wearing 19th century service outfits, yes, at the table. While these white people talk about, as OSS on the set says, the ways of these primitive races have always fascinated me. Yeah, he goes, what brings you here, Mr. Dala Quar, and he goes, well, first of all, I'm very racist. So, he's not that sound. He says, well, why do you want to meet the Galapalos people, the indigenous people who make these drugs allegedly? I know, as Sonny says, well, you know,

I'm a journalist and I'm really racist. I'm writing a piece for the telegraph about them, I'm really racist, I'm writing a piece for the telegraph about them, and about how much they suck. And I guess this could be OSS Sunday set in cover. He could be correctly guessing that this Brazilian cattle rancher is probably extremely racist and therefore by pretending to be racist, I will enday myself to him. But also it's interesting that like Anna Maria does not react negatively to this. And because she doesn't know he's a spy. He's just like, I am a journalist. So she's just like, yeah, definitely, they are primitive racists. Yeah, fuck them.

Yeah. So he's definitely real racist. Oh, for sure. Leandro, at this point, explains the Galapagos to him. And he's like, the woke Brazilian military dictatorship are unable to interfere with their ancient tradition of human sacrifice. And again, what do we think South American military dictatorships tended to do to indigenous people? Nothing good. But yeah, no, because they're woke, right, they can't can stop them because the people who are humanly sacrificed and They like they they take the like drug that makes you kill OSS on the set and then they throw themselves onto a pyre and because they The Brazilian authorities can't do shit. The government can't stop them because they can send us.

It's a shame, it's because of their woke, um, soy and gay. Yeah. Because they get drawn to fire. They get to take the shot Captain Bolsonaro. I can't. I'm woke. We'll do it. He's woke.

So yeah, Anna Maria, I get the, um, the consent drop from her saying, well, you can't just consent to be harmed, which is also the legal position of the British government. Yeah, average ToryNB for this year. Yeah. So he's like, it's fine. I'll fly you out there. It's in time for their big like festivity thing. You can see some guys throw themselves on a pire.

It'll be a grand old time. Mine would say mixing cocktails and smoking cigarettes on my racist anthropology plane. The 60s were a different time, although I guess there's probably people still doing this in Brazil, it's just an embryo now. I think it's going to be enjoyable. Yeah, not the racist part, No, the cocktails on the plane. Hopefully nowadays we've got the technology where we can do cocktails and cigarettes on a plane without being racist. I hope so.

God, I hope so. But so the guy makes the more drinks and goes, by the way, my pilots are Nazi. This is true. He says he's only killed jokingly trying to reassure them about the landing. He's only killed 20 people in 1940. Now, I mean, if he had just said in the war, Brazil was in the on the allied side. Like Brazil had an Air Force at the time, you know, that the snake, the cobra was smoking

at the time. Like, you could be, but he said, 19, 4th, that guy's a Nazi. He's a fucking Nazi. Um, so just note that down. But he said 194 that guys are Nazi. He's a fucking Nazi. So just note that down. And at this point, Miguel notices that they're going the wrong way. And Leandro and the copilot fucking pull guns on them and they're like, aha, we work for the bad guys. I was ordered to kill you. But because we're old friends and we're all racist,

I don't want to join us. join our vague mission. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that.

I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that.

I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. I'll take you to that. like an inspector fang singling, like tier of destruction of sex. Genuinely, I wrote down, Brazil's got a big population and he's getting through them quickly. Oh, I hate how aligned we are on everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The shared consciousness of Kil'Jaymas Bond.

Um, so in the course of this, every window in the plane gets smashed in a different way. Mmm, it's a good fight. There's a lot of guns up there. I don't even worry about it. The Nazi pilot gets fucking shot, first of all. There's this unbelievably funny shot that I just want to highlight where there's a fight going on and you can see the pilot looking over his shoulder at at it And I'm like I would fucking hate to be because you're like oh fuck just just drawing the little curtain across

He's just like pressing the seat belt sign just bon bon bon bon sit the fuck down Just been like god. I hope this doesn't involve me But it does they shoot him. He's dead. I shoot him because he's a now. I'm seeing it's fine. It's okay. Yes You can kill a Shoot him, he's dead. Shoot him dead. He's a Nazi and it's fine. It's okay. Yes. You can kill everyone. The front steamer is out for killing the Nazi pilot of the plane you're in. That's true. Oh, it's a Sunday's that Gatsr.

Front steamer. So he takes over the controls of the plane, but Leandro holds an Maria at gunpoint and he's like, listen, I will pop the emergency exit open. And if you shoot me, she dies too. So Miguel blinks in the face of his sister being killed. And it's like, all right, fine, I guess we're going to the fucking thing. Because I was like, all right.

So they're flown to another airstrip where they brought into the layer. And the layer is, how do we describe this layer? I kind of like the layer actually. It's a little bit like eco-tourist. Secret cave base. Yeah, I had a great time with the layers. It's got some walkways and it's a very nice set. Cut into a mountain in the rainforest. Yeah, it's built into the mountain. It seems reasonably environmentally. You have to clear the fucking rainforest for it, you know? Yeah.

It achieved passive house certification. Yeah. I've been watching a lot of grand designs lately. Um, we also, we also meet our South American Hitler, Carlos. Yes. And he reveals our antagonist. His plan is to do modern warfare shit where he's going to unite all of South America into one nation and then take over the world by force using this in front of in front of a war which has an admittedly really fire multi-color light up South America. Yeah.

It fucking goes actually. I did write this stuff. Like whatever percentage of the budget they spent on the light up South America was worth it. Also, I want one. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to get one attack for the kill James Bond, like layer, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. The light, the light up South America is like really crisp. So he's like, we're gonna take over the world. It's step one, Sissy hypnogas, assassinate politicians, step two, unite South America, step three, call us time. They're not Nazis explicitly. They're kind of communist Nazis, you know?

Like he says later on to Leandro, a revolutionary has no friends, which is quite loneliness. But they're also kind of Nazis. It's a huge problem. I'm not having any friends. Revolutionary have so many friends. Leandro is like being torn apart here.

He's like, but these are my friends. I don't want to kill them. It's so fucking funny, because like Miguel,, there's a seat when they're talking to each other. Miguel is just staring daggers at the whole fucking time. And then he just goes, like, betraying friendship is the worst crime. I don't know. You're like, you're sick. Okay, man. This guy's just like, personally, aggrieved. He doesn't care about the racism of a Nazi. He's just like, bro, what the fuck? Yeah, generally. Leandro is upset when he hears that Carlos tried to kill Anna Maria

with the grenade in the previous scene and I'm like you tried to kill her 20 minutes ago actually holding on an open door at the plane trying to use it to shoot I can't keep using movies where the same stuff happens as of this is gonna like also they out oh They also, they out, oh, a system, and he says, working for the CIA. And they say, ah, you must betray. What? Oh. Yeah, they say, you must betray your fellow agents.

It's gay. Tell us, tell us the list of all the names of the agents in working in South America, or we will droneify you and make you kill these people. Yeah, they kind of know he's not gonna do that, and they're gonna have to droneify him and make him kill first Anna Maria, which is kind of like the breaking point for Leandro. And as they're leaving the

room Ana Maria is like, you just fucked up because you showed this guy you're a pussy. Yeah, she gets this like insanely hard moment, which is that you've shown pity, they won't reward you. It's hard. It's just like, oh, it's like this organization won't tolerate failure. Yeah, you see, you see Leandreger, fuck, this organization might not tolerate failure. You even ask Carlos when they leave, he's like, can we tolerate failure and Carlos is that now?

It's like, no, no, no, boss, man. I was like, no, brother. We will not be tolerating failure. This is the thing, it's bad management. If you've just lied and said, yeah, one time we'll tolerate failure, Leandre would have been fine, but instead he goes to his room.

Yeah, he can tolerate a quirked up white boy failing that. Yeah, and he, and he, and he goes to his room. He can tolerate a quirk top white boy failing that. Yeah, and he's sulk, and he throws a whiskey glass against the wall, and he's like, I guess I got a fucking betrayer to save my friends then. He's so funny, he's the most conflicted anyway. His ash tray is full. He's got a fucking tall glass of whiskey.

He's just pacing around his room, and then he goes, fuck it, fuck it, I'm doing it. I will betray the big light up South America for this. So he holds up a guard, like Metal Gear Solid style, and unlocks their cell, and him and Oasis Sondisette, like arm themselves. And they go to free the imprisoned Galapagos trying to, yeah. Listen, liberate and arm indigenous Brazilians. Again, a policy eye and Lula share. Mm-hmm. And this is what they do. You know, they bust them out of prison

and they go, here is like 50 stand guns. Follow us. Yeah. Which, let's go. Yeah, let's fucking... The sequence is sick. We've got some flawless uncle chops going on One of the one of the tribesmen gets a silent machete throw killing

117 and one of the tribesmen like do some assassins creed three shit where they hang two guards off a big rock Oh, these two guys we got to talk about these two guys. Yeah, okay stop everything I need to talk about both of those. Ever last two point of half an hour each. Please, please. First of all, huge shout out to the indigenous guy who over on through a machete flat side down. I've never seen anyone do that in my life. Second, the hanging those two guys,

it's so good. Because they're like, they've shown interacting with each other beforehand and they're lighting. They have a smoke break together. And it's... One of them is lighting their own cigarette. Sensual. So so genuinely sensual.

I like, I really expected him to just lay his head on the other one shoulder. Right, it's a beautiful one. That's a beautiful one. Yeah, the episode art, I have it. It's so beautiful. And then they both get like, noose is thrown around their necks and yanked up, and my nose just go like, that,, frankly unbelievably sensual. Yeah, no, it's really sad.

And just kills these fucking guys. Yeah. So they have this gun fight. And and Leandro calls in the Brazilian military, who I guess just had like a company size parachute drop ready to go like on drop of a hat. I checked the time periods. This is about 10 years too young for one of those paratroopers to be Bolsonaro. And so, listen, frankly, an imaginable amount of people air dropping. Yes. Yeah. There's a gun fight. It turns from night to day really quickly between shots,

which I'm really fond of. And Leandro trying to capture Carlos sneaking out gets fucking shot in the gut. Carlos and his boy Carl take Annamaria hostage and they run. You can't be named Carlos and have a boy named Carl first of all. It's like, you got him, one of you has to change. But yeah, they capture the most easily captured woman in the world. He's like, oh no. And they escape by canoe down the Amazon. Like, it's kind of, it's giving like a Giro Rath of God in the last reel here.

The Brazilian army, she's giving a lot. Giving, the Brazilian army show up. And I don't, the homosexuality quotient of this movie in the last half hour. Yeah, it gets really homo-rolling. Like really remarking. I mean, so. The Brazilian army are like carrying Leandro really tenderly.

And then as they're trying to treat him for the gunshot wound, the guy just kind of like is touching his shoulders in a really intimate way. Yeah, it's like rubbing his arms. This guy's wearing like a red beret. You imagine he's probably in charge of this and he's just like stroking his arms. And then Leandro and Miguel, they've reconciled.

And there's just such beautiful, low-key Latin music playing in the background of it. It's powerfully essential. It's deeply romantic. I think just, I don't know what happens to the movie to make the last 10 minutes so gay for no fucking reason. I would be unsurprised to find out in the declassified archives that the US Army tested a gay bomb on the set of this movie

1965 they're up to all kinds of sure released a gas on the set. Yeah But yeah, so Ossets on dessert common days are playing and a military pilot like a little sessner and goes and flies down the Amazon, hatching up with their canoe. And when she sees this, Annamaria overturns the canoe, which is kind of an attempt to attack the driver of the vehicle you're traveling. Oh, I guess the can't. Yeah. Especially since as we see, I mean, it takes on the vibe of a wholly underrated two thousand art rock band because help

she can't swim. She fucking goes in the water and immediately I fuck I fuck this so sh**. She manages to get to the rocks, but Carlos goes over the falls. He does. Carlos and Carl, both of them, both Charles's go over the falls. And Ossasondu say he has to go one more star on. So what he does is he like motions to the pilot, I'm going to jump in the Amazon. And the pilot gives him this like perfect shrug like, listen man, whatever. Okay. At this point, you don't have a military rank. I guess you can just do it everyone.

I'm going back. This guy wants to die. I'm, yeah, sure. And so going back. The guy wants to die. Yeah. Sure. And so, yeah, he dives into the Amazon, saves a fisherser out by the poles. Perfect. And from the plane, good thing the water was deep around those rocks. Yes. Famously, the water typically very, very deep at the top of waterfalls.

Because that's where the pool is, you see. And yeah, he fishes her out and they kiss by the waterfalls to remind you once again that Brazil. Brazil is a paradise on earth. It's a paradise on earth. And that's the movie. Visit Brazil. I check.

The Galapalus people do not exist. Also nobody is credited as playing them. So I can't look up how racist the depiction of them was. I don't know whether those actors were real indigenous presidents. I don't know whether they were paid. There seems to have been no record of who played them at all. That's fucking insane. And that makes me think that they were indigenous at that point. So doing a hurt-soc thing again, back to a gory. Yeah. Also, while we're talking about people playing people in this movie and there being no record the guy who replaced Coen Matthews Frederick Stafford

Interesting biography Because he was born Strobel von Stein Uh-oh In Czechoslovakia Fled Czechoslovakia in 1948, which would have made him 20 years old. Uh-oh. He would have been 17 in 1945. Ah.

You like fled the Russians, per his biography in Wikipedia, it would take too long to move to the US or Canada. So he went to Australia in 1949 and changed his name to Frederick Stafford. And he got discovered by the director of this movie, Bangkok, the year before, I guess making the other one. He was in a Hitchcock movie, which wasn't very good, and kind of ruined his career, and then died in a plane crash. But like, 50, 50 chance.

You can't defame the dead. 50, 50 chance, this guy is like some kind of Nazi fail son. It's a very murky biography, which is like... I would say that's quite probable, considering the way the timelines line up here. You can't be called Friedrich Strobel von Stein. Why would you flee after the war? Why indeed. Why indeed.

So much to consider. Yeah. Although, I mean, another fact that you ended up dragging out here that I want to make sure is on the record is that he claimed quite unquote here in March so 97 but he was intended to play James Bond in on a majesty's secret serve. We could have had the Nazi bond. We could have had a Nazi bond, but instead we only got no strail it. We nearly had Nazi bond, please fuck my daughter normal. Oh my God. We have a whole society in the world. Please make my daughter come like a Harlem and

be you crazy racist bastard. I'm just a close. Fuck my daughter. It's in close to that place. This is an ordinary German Czechoslovakian man. If you change the name here and here, you can call him a James Bond. Don't worry about it. Okay.

What I'd say regarding whether this guy's in that's you're not, it's impossible to find out. Literally is. It literally is. This one of the things from like Europe in the 40s was so fucked by the war it is impossible to say anything about it. He could have been on some Russian doll shit. We don't know. But yeah, that's the movie. What do we, that's the movie. That's the movie.

What are we? That's the movie. Think about it subjectively. That's pretty good. It wasn't say about masculinity. It's better than the last two we fucking watched. I'll tell you that for sure. It's not Vienna.

Yeah. It's not a guy scheming inside the fucking like merry go round in Vienna. Brazil is, Brazil is beautiful, even if the sort of equivalent today would be trying to make this movie in like, Neon, you know, to Launda, the Saudis. Yeah. I can tell you this, there's nothing I want more than a Bond set in Neon. The Lave, the Lave!

The Monkeys' poor girl. Oh, they're so badly, I need that shit. She's got the entire length of the line. Yeah, so. It takes 20 minutes to get one and two other. It says the familiar stuff about masculinity, which is drug as many women as possible. That's kind of most of it.

That's it. Yeah, it says drug as many women as possible. The train friendship is the worst crime. Being racist is not... Being racist is fine, but being an Nazi is a little bit too far. Just trying to be as normal about this. While I speak, I could be like the train friendship is the worst crime. Yeah. Brazill is a paradise on earth.

A managed controlled government is, you know, provides a much better touristic experience than democracy. Don't kill people, but then actually it's fine. Yeah. The resfits are okay. All right, and that's that's it. We don't need to flail around wildly trying to end the podcast room. We actually have a science-based rating system.

Flail around in a predetermined manner towards the scum system. Yes. Stand for smum, cultural insensitivity, unprovoked fire, and this feeling like a kind of vintage bond, as it does. I think this is going to rack up cornering numbers. So, with that in mind, how smummy is this movie? It's got to be at least a five. Like, all that shit about, like, ah, I hope I hope your kids are so I can fuck you. What a temper you have. You don't see why.

You don't see why you white. What's going on here? Explain your, what is it, fucking haplogroup? Explain your haplogroups to me, my dear. Yeah, fucking five. It's great thing to do on a first day, I think. Yeah, show me the 20 story of me. Five or six. Six, six. Six, six, two or 23 of me. That's another kill, Jay's one, safety tip.

Don't do 23. I did it and then I revoked that my consent immediately so they had to delete all my data, but it did tell me I am 100% British and Irish or like 97, which is devastating. Yeah, like I found out why I'm white, which damning, damning things to do to yourself. Now, cultural insensitivity. It goes, it tries, it does so well right up until the end. I think actually specifically when you were watching it, Abby, you put in the chat, like

this is remarkably less racist. I thought it would be and then the little lady wrote, never mind. I sort of disagree, right? In the racial hierarchy of Brazil, implementing itself, like, imprinting itself even more strongly on this movie to the point that you look at it and it's like, huh, imprinting itself even more strongly on this movie to the point that you look at it and it's like, huh, all of the workers here appear to be black people. And then all of the people we're talking to appear

to be white people, it's sort of like if you had shot that unrelated bond movie in, like, Mississippi during segregation, where it's like, huh, we're that I'm just noticing this, we're not like observing it. Basically did. Yes, huh, we're that I'm just noticing this. We're not like observing it. They basically did. Yes, yeah, exactly. We probably should have made more hay of that at the time.

But yeah, no, I think that's pretty fucking racist. Yeah, for real. Also made up a bunch of indigenous Brazilians didn't do any research into like finding a real tribe. Tradition is human sacrifice and drugs. I tell you fair, they sound like the party tribe, but like, that's still a slur. Yeah, it's still not good. No.

And also the fact that the people stealing that land and destroying all that shit, oh, the good guys, nah, fuck this movie. Yes, yeah, absolutely. Fuck this movie. Seven. The Brazilian cancer oranges. So, all right, fun. Yeah, no question. Sure, absolutely. Seven. The Brazilian cancel one. Just move. All right.

Fun. No question. Sure. Yeah. Fucking 100 unprovoked violence. I mean, he blows up an apartment with like three goons in it for not really much reason. Yeah.

That's three murders. Like, I'm struggling to categorize the sort of bondage excursion in this movie as unprovoked violence, but it kind of is. He doesn't just hand them to the police, he just kind of goes, okay, well, I'm going to place you in sort of a predicament bondage situation and then be disappointed when the cops show up. What's he going to do to them when they, so yeah, it's at least a couple, right?

Like three or four? Four? Yeah, I would say so. Four. Okay, I'll have it a third or four. And then, I'm just sojourney. I am sojourney. I mean, I don't like that he kisses her immediately after she gets undroaked.

That's not okay. You can't be tranquilizing women like this. You can't do that. You can't even really sell women tranquilizers anymore for basically this reason. Even if she doesn't take them, like, yeah, and also they're like, oh, that's a nice little temper. You've got on you. It's like, oh, fuck off. And also the fact that his boss is like, hey, you'll be able to fuck lots of women while you're in Brazil. It's like, nah, yeah.

It's pretty misogynistic as well as racist to ask a woman, hey, what race are you before I have sex with you? Which, you know? Yeah, and then women in this, Anna Maria gets to do a few things, but most of what she gets to do is get captured. And I think the distinction between this and something like FX18 is largely in the acting, rather than in the script. I think she could have played this a lot more like Damzold than she did. The Millean Demogio. Yeah, she plays it like Anna Maria's clever, which I like. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I don't know.

I'm trying to remember how we've scaled Miss Argin in the past. I feel like this has to be like a four, right? I could go higher. I could go five. Five? Yeah, I'll go five. Yeah. All right, that gives us.

The fiery Brazilian temper. I give that a total score of 22, which is pretty high. You're right. That is pretty much in the Connery Bond territory. Yeah. See, I'm a professional. I located this immediately in the Connery brackets. Yeah, you're right. Same as you only live twice. It is. It's quite, it's quite a common mistake, but I'd say there's like a little bit of more ashtee and A in there as well. You can't say that.

You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that.

You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that.

You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. You can't say that. Roger Moore. Yeah, that's Okay, DNA like more asked then fine whatever happy with that more Esk so we know we're talking about hello ass You know I concerned myself great with more ish DNA alright, let's get the fuck out of this oh my god Yeah, okay, so this is been a horrible experience And that's 20 Kill James Bond. That's right. We will persist with this until we get bored. The next bonus episode will be one of our choosing.

The next, I think it might be my turn, but don't quote me on that. And then the next mainline episode is going to be red dragon or in its original title, Das Geheimnister Drei Chunken. I see another German one. Not that Red Dragon. You know that one. So, if you're one, yeah, no.

We hope you have a fantastic 2024 and continue accompanying us through it. And we will see you next time. And I always remember. Brazil is a paradise, aren't it? Hi, everyone. Hi. Yeah, I see you. And I was remember Brazil is a pair of eyes on it. Hi everyone. Hi Yeah, see you

Thank you for listening to yet another episode of kill James Bond in two weeks time on the free feed our next mainline episode is going to be Red Dragon, not that one. I guarantee you, it's whichever movie you're thinking of it is different and worse. But joining us on that will be Alex Patak from various of podcasts, the Dragon Ball Z1, or Raiders, things of that nature. However, if that is simply too long for you to wait then you can head on over to our Patreon where next week we're doing Zardos. Special thanks of course to our 15 pounds above patrons and those are Space Northport, low-bounds.candyfox, rare

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