Kill James Bond! - S3E12.5: Wanted [PREVIEW]

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

This is a preview of a bonus episode! find the rest at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ Youve got to bend the bullets, James McAvoy. You're such a loser with your well-paying office job, why don't you embrace the power of your bloodline and kill people for no real reason. ------ FREE PALESTINE palestineaction.org/donate https://www.map.org.uk/donate/donate ----- Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com

I need an ergonomic keyboard. MUSIC Justified on this one. Yes, no, that one was real. That's real. Hello, welcome to Kill James Bond bonus episode. Abigail, no, that one was real. That's real. Hello. Welcome. Kilgames Bond bonus episode. Abigail's pick wanted.

Abby. Yes. You are a dear friend to me. Yes. Why have you done this to us? Because I think this is a quite a fascist movie. But nevertheless, I think it is also a movie that is quite well made. And as far as I know, none of the people involved in making it are really like hardcore

fashion. It's also like less fascist than the source material, which is interesting. Yeah, I have some thoughts about that. And also, like, I think it's just like well made. I find parts of it entertaining and I find one of the kind of central conceits quite amusing to like, yeah. I'm in the zone here. I'm this is like when we watched the Jack Ryan shadow recruit thing. I'm like, this is an awful movie.

This is fascist. I had a fantastic time and I'm going to yell about it. Yeah. It's like shoot them up. Like it's the same. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

It was like they go together really well and this is like, yeah, this is a horrible movie, but it's cool. We had divergent experiences because I agree it's a horrible movie. But like, I had a really bad time with this one. I straight up did not enjoy myself. Wow. Yeah, I know. And this is the thing, right? It's a bonus episode because it's your pick.

I try and be sort of like accommodating and like the dramatic about no, no, not on this time. First, a minute one out the gate, just like hated this shit. Oh, there's a fat joke. My first note is already a fat joke. Yeah. Yeah. Then it just doesn't stop being me.

I send this to my partner as soon as I finished this to the wonderful book, I said, wow, what a fascist movie. Absolutely nothing positive to say about the human experience miserable the whole way through. And I stand by that. Yep. So but but but it's kind of cool. Yep. But. But, but. But it's kind of cool in places.

But. So we begin with a little opening title. A thousand years ago, a clan of weavers formed a secret society of assassins. They silently carried out executions to restore order to a world on the brink of chaos they called themselves Capital II, Capital T capital F the fraternity. Master and commander, it is not right. And they are so pleased with themselves for delivering that information that like Morgan Freeman later delivers almost verbatim.

Cause Morgan Freeman's in this film, by the way, listeners, they know Morgan Freeman is in this fucking got for this. Like hell yeah. Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman. Stacked. Common for some reason. Another reason I quite like this film is that James McAvoy never really did another role like this or hasn't yet.

This is like a very like action hero role and he kind of like fucking knocks it out of the park. He does a good performance in this. But yeah, it's interesting interesting artifact in his career, because he then went to get on, he then went and did Professor X. But then like, that's not really an action heavy rule, but like, it's just strange to see James McEvoy like driving cars and shooting guns and shit. And yeah, it's just a fun acting artifact.

But so we begin in the kind of American office environment of the 2000s, which even by the time this movie was made, I don't know, still existed to that extent. Like it's the same thing in the Matrix, right? Where it's like you work on a floor with strip lighting and cubicles and everything is all like crammed in together like that, but in a way that would now probably be like

co-working bullshit. Oh yeah, 100%. This happens all the time in these like old movies where they're like, look at the drudgery of normal life. Look how much it sucks. You're the cubicle! And he's got a cubicle! You got your own fucking cubicle, dude.

And you're looking at that in 2024 going, you cunt. You motherfucker, you can put stuff up on a wall that they gave you. I mean, all soft walls all around you return with a V to like 2008. Kind of. But see, the thing is, like the Matrix, like a movie, which this is aping and it was taking a worse way. I'm going to talk about a lot Fight Club, right? This is an environment which is psychic torture and the reason why it's psychic torture is two things, one of which gave me a new intrusive thing to say. First of all, you have to

be nice to your fat boss, right? It's my inner rex of boss's birthday. That's the first line of the film. This means a certain amount of inner office pressure to stand around the conference table, eating crappy food and pretending to worship her. So James McEvoy in the future mass shooter voice explains what a birthday party is. And the whole time he's doing it, there's this kind of like ass rock.

The sound environment is so 2000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This man cannot complain about shit without having some like do-do-do guitar underneath it. And his boss, whom he sarcastically calls anorexic, Janice, she's actually a fat lady, right? And this movie does several thousand examples of what I would call the aversive shot of a fat person.

But it's like, check this bitch out, right? There's a mode that the camera enters into. It's on the big dial, you know, I got manual, like aperture priority, shutter speed priority, look at this fat bitch. Why do I take all my photos in fat mode? The way that a movie shoots this woman as opposed to the way it shoots Angelina Jolie noticeably very unbelievable.

It's all upward angles, man. It's all designed to make her look as bad as possible. Yeah, I'm trying to hold off talking about the comic for a bit. Yeah, I will say in the comics, this character is black. Right. The line is take is taking shit from my African American boss, right? And the movie in what is going to be its overall challenge to sand off all of the harder, more racist edges of Mark Miller's comic wanted has been too scared to do that.

And so she's a fat white lady because it's acceptable, acceptable targets in that sense. You know? Yeah, it's incredible, like, watching this film and then realizing what they, what they, what they did with it. They, they, they made it so much better than the comic, like, in terms of, like, how bad it is. And it's still horrific. They like toned it down, but by picking a different thing that it's okay to make fun of someone for and just subbing it in. Yeah, the other thing that he has going on is... I need an ergonomic keyboard to keep my repetitive stress injury in check. Just the fact that I repeat something enough that it causes me stress is fucking sad.

It's fucking sad. It's fucking sad. Yeah, that's... yeah, repetitive strain injury. Anyway, so, so... But I've just been wondering the house saying to myself... I need an ergonomic keyboard. For like a couple of days. I kind of do need an ergonomic keyboard.

So, James McAvoy is an accountant. He hates his fat boss. He's being cucked by an alarmingly young Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt before he got in shape. Yeah, his shlub, Chris Pratt. Is his best friend. Well, at this point, kind of twink, Chris Pratt is wrong. He's fucking his girlfriend on. And this is another Fight Club detail. I hate a kitchen table. Yeah. I just, I hate when he does the voice so much and he does the voice a great deal in this.

Ikea kitchen table. Sounds like a young Jack Nichols. Yeah. Hearing a Scottish guy do an American like school shooter voice is, it's, it's very funny. It's also very funny. Like later on in the film, the accent slips just a little bit occasionally. It's quite cool.

The face slips, right? During all the action sequences at the start, when he hasn't become wanted or wanted yet, he's screaming all the time, because that's the only way the script and the director know how to express like fear, right? And he looks, James McAvoy looks more Scottish when he's screaming. He's in these chase scenes. He looks like fucking Limmy. I don't know how to explain it, but like when he's screaming,

he loses the ability to look like Hollywood actor James McAvoy and looks like Scottish man, James McAvoy. I've been in a high speed gunfight, matching that quite inconvenient. I scream like an AGP. Is it giving away that I'm Scottish? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that a hockey? Alright, well, that's the new atsorted, perfect.

Okay, so he also says in this opening monologue, like, he's a loser, he's being cut, and he never knew his father. He has no Google results when he searches his name. This is a kind of like he thinks he's insignificant and he has no presence in the 21st century because he is un-Googleable and he has to work in a cubicle. You idiot, that's the dream. Poor poor poor. To be un-Googleable. I'm sure I am un-Googleable. To have a job.

Mm-hmm, yeah. A steady job. He's like an insurance guy. Right. He's an accountant. He says later, I am an accountant by way of meaning I am a boring pussy. An accountant makes fucking bank. Yeah, that's a solid job. That's like professional like, yeah. Okay.

But yeah, drudgery day to day. But things exist in this world that aren't just drudgery. There is also the high stakes world of assassination. Yeah. Just as he says, I never knew my father. We come across town and we see a man getting out of a car in a very slick suit. And also there's a lot of like slick fast motion, fast forwarding, as this guy like dramatically walks into a building. And he gives the late, he goes up in the lift and to the top floor

and he gives a lady a bullet. This lady, by the way, is wearing a bendy dot on her forehead. This will be important later in account of how the movie is catastrophically racist. I just hit record. If you want to fulfill the promise of your superior bloodline, like in the movie Wanted starring James McAvoy, you're gonna have to go to patreon.com slash killjamesbond or one word and sign up today for as little as £5 a month. Now get me out of here!