Upstream - S3E15: Charlie's Angels (2000) [Live]

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

We've talked a lot about Men, in our time. But what if there were a fairer sex? What if the year was 2000, the cold war was won, history was over, 9/11 was never going to happen, and it was finally time to start thinking about whether Women could be in movies. This, recorded live at the Streatham Space Project on International Women's Day, the 8th of March 2024, is Charlie's Angels! ------ FREE PALESTINE palestineaction.org/donate https://www.map.org.uk/donate/donate ----- Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com

Good morning, angels. Please welcome to the stage of Kill James Bond. I am November Kelly. I am joined as always by my friends, Abigail, Thorne and Devon. Hello. How we doing? It's the way it's set up. It's the way it's set up. I always get the woo.

Oh, I don't know. Yeah, they only like you is the thing. And they're right to do it. Well, I only like you two, so I... Are we aware of the existence of women? Some of them are here tonight. It's crazy. Damn, really?

In celebration of International Women's Day and women making up roughly half of the people that there is, we have decided to watch the only feminist films on knowledge and belief ever made. Agnes Vardas, Charlie's Angels. Jane Campion. Jane Campion's Charlie's Angels... Jane Campion. Yeah, Jane Campion's Charlie's Angels full throttle. And for a dollar, name a woman.

Oh my God, there's so many out there. Name a pioneering female director who isn't Jane Campion or Agnes Vardas. Sophia Coppola. Yeah, Sophia Coppola's Charlie's Angels brackets 2019. I made a voice. Yeah, I'll give you the dollar later. You have locked yourselves in for Charlie's Angels 2000. It's the year before 9-11.

9-11 will never happen. And which is why we start this movie. Yes. With two things. Two things that are extremely year 2000. Number one, you could still open a movie with a shot of a plane flying into the camera. Before 19 Saudi film critics. 19 brave female directors. I was going to say, I don't think 9-11 was a feminist activity.

I mean, I'm not Alison Bechdel, but like... They were all men, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like looking at 9-11, like the representation here is... What were they thinking? Hi, I'm more female. Hi, Jackus. I guess, I guess they did break the glass ceiling very much.

Ah! But the other thing that you could do in 2000 was to open a movie with Blind by Korn. And let me tell you, the soundtrack all maintains this quality. But yeah, so we open on an airliner and we get some sort of like slice of life things of, oh, so we open on an airliner and we get some sort of like slice of life things of, oh, isn't being on an airliner funny? There's all types of different people.

There's gay flight attendant and LL Cool J. And a couple going to shag in the toilets. Yeah, another thing you could do before 9-11, you know? LL Cool J is there, wearing a dashiki, and the gay flight attendant is racist to him. And that's a sort of like 8,000 word New Yorker essay on like how we live now, you know? LL Cool J is homophobic back.

He asks for his whiskey straight. And it's like, okay. Oh, I see. Yeah. And then sits down next to a guy. And the guy, the guy is doing another thing you could do before 9 11, which, which is yeah. Yeah. I think we should deconstruct this very slightly, right?

Please imagine a plane hijacker, right? Wrong. First of all, absolutely straight up wrong. This is a white guy looking nervous. Oh, so that's wrong. Is it interesting? What if you're going to do, if you're going to do a movie and you have a guy hijack a plane, your go-to is not going to be sweaty white guy forever after this. Right? You have a thing. However, he's wearing a bomb vest.

He is. He just unzips his jacket when LL Cool J is like, hey, what's up? You seen a good bomb vest lately? And they're like, oh, go on right here. Yeah. And he like, he unzips it to like show off that he's got a bomb vest. And it says 0057. And as we see it ticks down to 0056 and he just zips it back up. It's really good timing.

This is how you're spending the last minute of your life. You didn't even order a drink. Like he is un-fucking-bothered. He is in his lane. Just hanging out with LL Cool J. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, back Back in the day, you could bring your bomb vest on the plane instead of having to check it. You can't even bring shoes on planes nowadays.

I know, I know. But so LL Cool J grabs him, depressurizes the plane, throws him and himself out of the plane, refuses to elaborate, which, you know, there's planes just do this by themselves now because of technology. Very little LL Cool J required for a plane to just pop open. Completely automated LL Cool J out of the whole system. When they say technology is going to put people out of jobs. It's never the people you expect. Yeah. It's just LLM Cool Check. But... I really got you with that one.

So the... LLM Cool Check. Yes! So they're free falling down and someone parachutes out of a helicopter that's waiting for them to join them in free fall in order to tear the bomb vest off this guy, throw it into the air where it explodes harmlessly and then land all three of them in a speedboat driven by Cameron Diaz. You can't open movies like this anymore.

No, they won't let you. Yeah. Well, they won't let you do the thing that happens next. This is true because LL Cool J, some of you have done the homework I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By, by show of hands, who's seen this movie? Yeah. Yeah. We just made you, yeah. We made you watch this as well as come to this. Um, but yeah, LL Cool J pulls. I'm sorry to the lady in the front row who's like, I'm sorry. No, don't worry. You're correct.

You were right. Good choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you've been like brought here on a date or something, you haven't seen the movie, consider yourselves, you know, better off. But LL Cool J does some body horror and he peels off his entire head to reveal that it's been Drew Barrymore in LL Cool J Blackface the whole time. We thought, we thought about doing this as an entrance, but we were strongly, we were strongly

advised not to plus Devon couldn't find a dashiki they liked. So. But also, so the, so the, the line that prompts this is the would be a suicide bomber now cheated of martyrdom, says, you crazy bastard, and LL Cool J says in Drew Barrymore's voice, I think you mean crazy bitch and then like pulls his whole face off. We're like, whoa! He's never going to like white boy Janna now, which is a great shame. You know, it's got like lakes of PBR.

But so also I should say... White boy fools, perfect deity. I'm not even going to finish that. Yeah, yeah, probably better not. I think it's good you identify it as a perfect deity. You could just use an LLM to fill in the rest of the book. Yeah. We get some like slow-mo male gaze-y stuff of Lucy Lu, Andrew Barrymore.

Doing a lot of like... Yeah, sort of hair tossing, stripping down to bikinis. Don't... Yeah. And, and they kind of like hug, like besties, like, you know, like this. On the speedboat while the white guy is like, kill me, kill me. I love the white guy so much because he, whole time that he's going, what's happening? Who are you people?

It's very Seinfeld. It's a valid question. And then we go into the opening titles, which are a little montage of all of the Charlie's Angels stuff that they did before they were Charlie's Angels. Yes, because they are friends. This is established. They know each other. They've got a working relationship. We're done with that origin an origin story. It'd be stupid to do an origin story for Charlie's Angels.

It would be ridiculous. It would be. I think one of the worst things you could do to the franchise would be to... This joke's going to pay off in two days time, which is a long time for a brick joke. And in fairness, all my jokes are brick jokes. But so we get some shots of like what they were doing before this. One of which is Lucy Lue in Equestrian gear, which yes. And I like these, I like these throwaway jokes about them having been like astronauts or on jeopardy. Yeah. Like they're all like spy Barbies. Like, yeah, it's, it's an excuse as a lot of this movie is to get a lot of themed fits off.

Yes. And I really appreciate that. I respect that. You know, I think if you ever lost that aspect of the Charlie's Angels franchise, it would be a really sad day. Come back in two days time. Also one thing I should say, well, two things about this montage. One of them is that there's a Harry Potter joke in it.

And that's like the books were not that long out. It's that Drew Barrymore was a huge fan. And so she threw in a little like Harry Potter joke. Yeah. It's OK. It was 2000. Yeah. They didn't know yet. They didn't know. They didn't know. It does also heavily imply that the Charlie's Angels went to Vietnam.

It does. It does do that. It's a G.I. Jane joke, but it implies that they went to Vietnam. It does do that. It's a GI Jane joke, but it implies that they went to Vietnam and it kind of like in the same way that Dr. Manhattan did, right? They deployed Charlie's angels and they, you know, sort of they won the war. Yeah, exactly. Giant Cameron Diaz. God, I wish. You ever see someone get a new kink in real time? Frequently, yeah. I don't turn my webcam off when I'm recording. And this is why. No, but yeah, the Charlie's...

The giant blue camera. Yeah, if it's to be a symbol, it's one that I'll create and respect myself. But yeah, these exist in a timeline where America won the Vietnam War through the intervention of Charlie's Angels, I believe this. Yeah. Lucy Lue in Fencing Gear is another one. The thing about, and this is a central theme that I'm going to try and grapple with throughout this next hour and change, right, is the male gaze, right?

Sometimes some of the people who gaze at it is women. And sometimes those women are lesbians. Hello, lesbians. And the thing is that then you have to navigate this kind of treacherous sort of landscape of, well, this is terrible, but I do kind of like it, though. And so Lucy Lohan, Fencing Gear, she gets two full hair tosses in six minutes. This is the kind of movie

that it is. But so, having introduced them all in the titles, we now have to introduce them all again so you don't forget their names. And first of all is Drew Barrymore as Dylan. She is in bed with her boyfriend. Chad. Wow. She is, she's in bed with her boyfriend. Chad. Wow. Yeah, that's it. Her boyfriend. Chad.

He's the Chad. Yeah, he is the Chad. I'll just give you the Chad supercut. Chad. This is the Chad. Sweet Chad. That's like half of the drops we have for this movie. Oh, totally. Yeah, it's a largely Chad based soundboard. Chad, Chad, her boyfriend played by Tom Green, Drew Barrymore's then boyfriend.

Um, which, yeah, I know. Right. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Right. The Tom Green kind of the Adam Friedland of his day, which by the transitive property makes Drew Barrymore the dash of her day. I, I hate that I'm saying these words and I cannot be stopped. I love a joke that doesn't have a punchline, but like four or five people in the audience go,

aww. They're just taking psychic damage. Exactly, exactly. But the thing is- Not me though, I don't know what you're talking about. You're so much better off. Tom Green is playing this as a guy who cannot believe his luck that Drew Barrymore is into him. Like the most beautiful woman in the world is like fucking him and he doesn't get why. And this is the thing. I don't get why.

It's very, it's very relatable to me personally. It's the goatee. Ladies love the goatee. I think the thing is, right, the reason why he became... Chad. ...is because like he started out as like regular Chad, and then he like landed Drew Barrymore and whatever aspect of your personality, whatever your personality is.

You would go all in, wouldn't you? Yeah, you'd knock in whatever it was. I wouldn't move. It could be anything. Yeah, your entire brand is now your name. Like you are the Chad, the Chad forever. The original. Exactly, the Chad forever. The original. Exactly. Original and best. But yeah, so Drew Barrymore is Dylan, the Butch one. And this

is, I should stress, as Butch as a woman is allowed to be without anyone getting scared in 2000. Which is to say, lightly Butch. By the way, I'm just going to note this down here. Drew Barrymore's pay for doing this movie, $9 million. Just note that down. Make a little note. We'll come back to this because next is Cameron Diaz. Oh Christ alive. She wakes up in the morning and she's got a little pair of Spider-Man pants on. Yeah, the underoos. Yeah, the underoos. And then she does a big dance.

She does. She's looking in the mirror as she's doing this. Yes, the under is. Yeah, the under is. And then she does a big dance. She does. She's looking in the mirror as she's doing this. Yes, and it's playing some mix lots. She's looking in the mirror, camera and AGP has. Oh, it's, I... That's my best joke all evening. You could kind of leave now. No, you can't.

No, you can't. The doors are sealed. They're locked. You will be honest. Not even locked, sealed. They're being. Not even locked. Sealed. They're being bricked up out there at the moment. For the love of God, Nate. We're bricked up in here too.

But yeah. Yeah, but this is nonce shit. True, true. To be wearing the Spider-Man underoos at the age of 20 or 21 or whatever. It's important to establish two things about Cameron Diaz and this happens in a row. She is very, very smart. Yeah. Unbelievably smart. Yeah. She has the brain of a child. True. Yeah. It's the weird sexy baby thing again. She doesn't seem to understand because the delivery guy comes and delivers her a package and then she says, you know, I signed that release waiver so you can just feel free to stick things in my slot. You can just like

she, she doesn't realize that this guy is like really into her, so she's just kind of like oblivious. Cameron Diaz has paid for this movie, $12 million. So $9 million, $12 million. We're heading out here. Okay. And then we got to introduce Lucy Lu. Hello.

Yeah, that's what I said too, as Alex. And she is cooking on a movie set trailer for her boyfriend, Matt LeBlanc. Holy shit. Matt LeBlanc, the most desirable guy. I think this is a fun casting joke that Matt LeBlanc is meant to be playing like the action star. I think it's funny. Yeah. He's playing like a bomb squad guy or something, and she has bombs autism.

So she's able to tell him, hey, your lines are stupid. And when he goes, wow, how do you know that? She says this and maybe the strangest way. Isn't it amazing how much information you can learn off of the internet? The sexy baby voice. The internet. And he doesn't know that she's a spy. Yeah.

No. She's wearing a leather corset, which should be a giveaway. Also, so just no doubt remember 9 million, 12 million, Lucy Lue's pay for this movie, $1 million. What? And just in case you're in any doubt about what this role was supposed to be, before they cast Lucy Lue, they almost cast Tandiway Newton and she quit because the director, a sort of MTV type guy called McG, and yes that was his professional name, told her that

he envisioned the opening shot being like the sort of yellow lane separation markers on a highway except they zoom out and it's the stitches on leggings on her ass. And then a studio executive called Amy Pascal, still works at Sony, I believe, told her to shake her booty and she quit. So they recast it with Lucy Liu. She's like, wow, no, no, no, no, no. Not even for a million dollars. Yeah. Nice. My respected. Yeah. It's not even a ninth of Drew Barrymore's pay. Yes. But also they didn't do those scenes in the movie. No, they didn't. Which tells you something about how the sort of script development went, you know?

Yeah, I mean, he just listed a list of things he thought were hot, and I was just like, how can we fucking stream these? And one of them was like the ethnic one, you know? But yeah, so... All three of them get the call. And they're like, oh shit, I've got to stop what I'm doing now and go and begin the movie Charlie's Angels. Yes.

We get a sort of recurrence of a recurring joke, which is that Lucy Luke can't cook. She has brought in muffins and they're trying to avoid eating them because they're terrible. And so Cameron Diaz throws one and it embeds itself in a door because it's really hard. And then, then Bill Murray. Bill Murray... Bill Murray. I wasn't expecting Bill Murray, but... He enters the movie under protest. It's fine, I just didn't expect it to be so Bill Murray.

Yeah. I mean, this is the thing. Bill Murray, who according to Lucy Liu, like, screamed at her on set, hated being in this movie, was like really shitty about it, to everyone involved. Oh my God, we should kill Bill Murray. I wasn't... New podcast! New podcast!

Yeah. Okay. I wasn't joking about him like... Yeah. Entering the movie under protest. Kill Bill Murray. And then he does a joke about it being a Chinese fighting muffin. Yeah, what was that?

It's just racism in my fear. I mean, it's a cupcake even as well. Also, he's, so this is Bosley who's meant to be there like the go between between the angels and Charlie. And he sits on the couch with them and he's like, they're all very cuddly in a way that seems inappropriate. Yeah. He sits down and does the best friends cuddle with them and we're not doing it again.

You get one a night. Yeah, it's contractually. Yeah. Well, I'm only You get one a night. Yes, contractually, yeah. Well, I'm only getting paid one million to be here. Yeah, the gender pay gap on this podcast is brutal. You only got a million to do a podcast. It's terrible. It really is.

Yeah. But yeah, private really is. Yeah. But yeah, so... Can't send my kids to private school. It's fucked up. You know how hard it is to live on a million... But so Bill Murray is there, Bosley. He's the guy who like tells them... He interprets for Charlie, who's on speakerphone. He interprets the will of the Charlie. Exactly. Exactly.

And so Charlie's will right now is that this tech guy has been kidnapped and his wife, Vivian Wood, is here in an incredible pantsuit to be like, please get my husband back. I'm terribly worried. I'm really worried about my husband who is definitely not evil. And at this point, we're not supposed to know whether like dating, I think it's supposed to be like his second in command or something like that. But he, the tech millionaire-

It's a reveal later, but don't worry. Tech millionaire is Sam Rockwell. Yes, we love Sam Rockwell. It is Sam Rockwell. So, small detail here. Vivian Wood was originally written as Vivian Wu. And then when they cast Lucy Liu they changed it to a white woman. Sort of a maximum quota, some kind of invisible ceiling made out of a transparent material.

Interesting. Yeah, interesting. But yeah, so she's like, my husband, not my husband, my fucking my boss my boss who I don't care about at all apart From the fact that I'm coming to Charlie's Angels about it has been kidnapped here is video footage of him being kidnapped We suspect Tim Curry When I see Tim Curry I clap it's fine. It's how it works. It's a goatee ladies love the goatee Yeah, Tim Curry strikes the movie and we're all very happy about it. Tim Curry is the like CEO of like competing. What is that? There's nothing.

I don't know. They're just giggly tonight, which is like, it's a good mood. I probably shouldn't harangue them about it. Oh yeah. No, if they could laugh, that'd be fantastic. If they're easy to make laugh, genuinely, that saves me a lot of trouble. Yeah. So Tim Curry is the CEO of their biggest competitor, and they think that he has kidnapped Sam Rockwell to steal his technology. It's like telecom shit, and we get a very 2000s thing, which is like, if this gets into the wrong hands, the government could spy on anyone's phone. Yeah.

Imagine. Can you imagine? Yeah. Yeah. So he's developed some new software that completely recognizes anybody's voice. Yeah. It's like, for instance, Charlie is the guy who only communicates by voice. Yeah. Also jokes on them.

I've got two. It's so bad every time. It's, bad every time. It has been about 30 seconds. We have to do some more anti-Asian racism. Yes, we do. Yes. Because Tim Curry, we're talking about his habits, right?

And he apparently loves to get his weekly massage at Madame Wong's House of Blossoms, which is a kind of like Japanese tea garden situation. Yes. With a pagoda in it. It's fine. I just didn't expect it to be Japanese. So they send in Lucy Lou. Yes, they do. Is not not Japanese. Yeah. Lucy Lou. Right. So she's, she's doing like barefoot massage on Tim Curry's back, including the like putting her toes in his face. It's Quentin Tarantino found dead in Miami Beach. But the thing is, right, she's doing the massage and stuff and then to knock him unconscious, she like jumps onto his back and as she does, she goes, and this is very loud. Now, Lucy Liu, Lucy Liu is a Chinese American actress from Queens, New York. And if you think that's bad, the next shot is the other two walking in dressed as Geisha. And what's

on the soundtrack? Turning Japanese. I feel I should explain a bit of especially repugnant racism about the vapors turning Japanese, right? Which is, are we aware at all why it's called turning Japanese? It is a racist sexual joke about the sort of face that you make when masturbating yourself to orgasm, looking like a Japanese person. I shit you not, that's why it's called that. And now you know a horrifying fact. But you don't look anything like that.

Oh, nevermind. We should really put like a confidentiality thing into the, into the contract. One hug and you're allowed to tell them about me jerking off. I mean... One of those seems a lot more than the other really. Of course. Well, I look, you didn't criticize me for my pre-show warmup. So yeah, yeah. It was a lot noisier.

You can still get pregnant for pre-show. So they knocked him carry unconscious with Lucy loose feet and they go and break into his locker and get some, get his phone or whatever. Why do they need to lock him out to break into it? Nevermind. Because the gym locker is like incredibly high security. So then they go to like a drive through burger place and a couple of things happen. First of all, they play the San Andreas to number nine's number nine large bit entirely straight.

Straight up. Yeah. It's Drew Barrymore doing the like, I'm ordering a lot of food joke because she's like 1% fudge. Yeah. They think she's fat and she's made to be quote unquote the fat one. She's half my size. That's Drew Barrymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But so there is, so this is where we do get the gratuitous Lucy Liu ass shot. Yeah, because she like leans over to fix the intercom. And the thing is, she's leaning over, Drew Barrymore is leaning back. Drew Barrymore is a bisexual woman. You can tell in this shot because she goes...

As you would do. So they let her be more gay in this than they let Christian Stewart be in 2019. Correct. Come back on night three and I will be very upset about this. This is the theme I have been building to. It's 100% true, especially in the second one. But so they get on the car phone, I guess, and Bosley, I guess, Crispin Glover is printed into the movie because the little photo printer, the little Nintendo

photo printer in that car, like spits out a little Crispin Glover shot. And it's Crispin Glover looking like this. You know what? You hire Crispin Glover because you want to freak in your movie. And he delivers, same way I do, every podcast. He's so good. They're like, oh, we did a zoom in enhance. He's the guy who kidnapped Sam Rockwell.

Yeah. Creepy thin man. And they name him creepy thin man. And that's his name for the rest of the movie. Yep. The next two movies. By the way, Crispin Glover. I don't know if you're aware of this, but his father played Mr. Wint in Diamonds are

Forever. Really? Making him Mr. Wint's kid. Thank you. God fucking damn it. That was so much work to get to. So they're like, okay, fine. You got to infiltrate Tim Curry's penthouse. Yes.

He's having a party. Infiltrate the shit. What's Tim Curry's penthouse going to be like? Don't worry about it. But you're going to have to like get dressed up to the nines and like go in with Bosley with a secret microphone implanted in your like back tooth. And so Bosley shows up with these two angels on his arm looking not at all like Patrick Stewart. I just want to mention now he looks 0% like Patrick Stewart. That's going to be important

later. Again, I know which ones of you have done the homework. Roger Moore in this scene actually, like his fit is unbelievably Moorish. Moorian. Yeah, yeah. I'll workshop that one later. He does the thing of like immediately going up to the like bad guy and introducing himself, being like, I know what you're up to. His name is Bosley.

Bosley. Bosley. Yeah. And the answer was Japanese. If you were wondering what is his house like? Because Tim Curry goes... The answer was Japanese. You're entirely Japanese.

Cool. Everything about this place is like, he's got some fugu, he's got some like pagodas, he's got a sand garden. And it's, I guess the idea is that like... Rising sun ish? It's fine, I just didn't expect... No, I have to stop doing this, because I'll do it for three fucking nights. But the thing is, it does kind of work as like ignorant Gaijin's view of like what it is to...

You're entirely Japanese. You get a wonderful Tim Curry line. His only one that bothered writing down because he brings up some shit and he... And you get the Tim Curry line. I had it Fed Exed from Kyoto. And I'm like, wonderful, brother. He's so good. Thank you.

There's no one doing it like him. I'll say this, he pronounces the fuck out of Kyoto. It's so good. Should have run the drop for that. But so, in the meantime... We should talk about these things. I don't know. I don't know.

This is a dictatorship. I just do it. In the meantime, Cameron Diaz is being a staff. She's being a waitress, and the bartender is Luke Wilson, one of the Wilsons who is not Owen Wilson. And she immediately has the hots for not Owen Wilson, but Luke Wilson. White woman shocks Luke Wilson by speaking perfect Japanese. Which she does.

She does. And he's like sort of very flattered and interested and she does not know how to talk to men is the joke. So the other angels have to like wing woman her. But they're pulling in different directions. Like Lucy Lou is trying to make her make him do like hard to get shit and the other one is trying to get her to do the other thing. Yeah.

And she does. And she's scared and she doesn't know how to talk to men. So she's like, uh, I love Tuesdays. Yes. Favorite day of the week. I love, I love tickets. And then finally Lucy Lou, like she turns on her dumb voice and she's like, flip your goddamn hair. And she does. Yeah. It's exactly like that. Yeah. it has the same thing instantly instantly. I've got so much hairspray in this if I did it the other way it just knock you out. Hairspray and juice like blunt force trauma. Yeah, got like adamantium roots now. They do play a gong when she does this. You're entirely Japanese.

Yeah, but it's kind of cute, right? And then we see that like Tim Curry has done the classic Bond film thing of like, ah, Mr. Bond, I challenge you to a test of wills. The game? Baccarat. The stakes? $50 million. Except, except what they're doing is, do you remember in like the year 2000, people thought it was acceptable to wear the like sumo suits? Like inflatable, like for kids. Yeah. Just run at each other.

Yeah. You're nodding slightly too enthusiastically. Yeah, brought one with them tonight. Just inflate this. Yeah, no. So they do some sumo wrestling and they get like a couple of minutes of jokes out of that is not good.

Crisp and Glover, however, enters the movie with the best cigarette smoking technique ever devised. I don't know if I can even mime it. He's just like, it's such a strong choice. Cause rather, cause you know, you give your, your assassin guy a cigarette, right? And obviously the default choice for the actress is just going to be like smoking. Like Crispin Glover is like smoking the shit. Like he's got diarrhea. No, it's so good. He's like so fucking nervous. It's so fucking good.

He just killed someone. Everyone's going to find out. He's so good. He genuinely has such tension in his face. Every single shot of him. He's like, incredible, incredible, like physical actor. Yeah. He's wearing this pinstripe suit. He genuinely has such tension in his face every single shot of him. He's like... Incredible, incredible, like physical actor. Yeah, he's wearing this pinstripe suit, he's got this umbrella. He's like very, very thin, very, very creepy.

He'd just be screaming. Yeah, well, this is the thing. He wasn't written this way, but Crispin Glover suggested, why don't I play this guy as like mute and just scream. Why did they make this guy scream? That's so good. Like how many actors do you know who would go, what if I had fewer lines? What if I had no lines? What if I had no lines? Actually, I don't even fucking need them. I'm Crispin Glover.

I love it. I mean, he just saw the lines that he had written for me. It's like, wow, what if I just screamed instead? Maybe that'd be better. That was just his authentic reaction to the script. It was just his authentic reaction to the script. It's a weirdly girly little scream too. So it's really nice. Yeah.

So he leads them out of the penthouse into a nearby alleyway question mark. And we get a fight scene set to smack my bitch up. This is something that happens in, in the first two movies is just they pick the song that describes what's going on. Yes, Japanese, Smack My Bitch Up. There are others. Running down an alley. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just

describing what's on the back screen. Yeah, sort of Garden of Forking Paths thing for Randy Newman, you know? But yeah, so... Also this is the day that the lighting director did not turn up to work. We get a fight scene and the thing is it's all done with wire fighting, as you may remember from a little movie called The Matrix. And the thing is, right, this movie proved to be kind of the death of wire fighting for a long time because it was so uncool and

because Hollywood hates women and was like, Oh, now girls are doing it. People thought, Oh, this is tacky as fuck. Why are we having people spin 60 times in place in the air? Um, the thing is it's, it's very poorly shot and yet it works well because it's fucking sick. It's fucking sick. I mean, we'll be able to see it. I mean, yes, we'll talk about editing on the third night. So they defeat Crispin Glover, who takes a lock of Drew Barrymore's... Lucy Lou's? Lucy Lou's hair.

Yeah, it's one of them. He takes Harry's hair. He sniffs Harry's hair. He sniffs it. He does the full Biden. He's like... Now listen here, James. Yeah, it's one of them. He takes Harry's hair. He does the full Biden. He's like, now listen here, Jack. They managed to stop him doing that. He does different things now. It's great. Yeah. Do you remember that moment where you like did the state of the union and like

ripped a bit of Nancy Pelosi's hair out? Yeah. Remember that time Crispin Glover just sent a whole bunch of guns to Israel? And I was like, stop doing that Crispin Glover. And he was like, woo! Now legally we can't say that Crispin Glover sent a bunch of guns to Israel. No, no, to be fair, Crispin Glover, I'm sure he would not do that. I believe we could push Crispin Glover left, right?

He's electable if you fucking vote for him. Thing is, I would vote for Crispin Glover is I would vote for Chris McGrubber. I would. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fully. But so they find Sam Rockwell tied to a chair and creepy thin man just flees the scene. So they rescue him, of course, predictably. And they bring him back to Vivian Wood, who is very glad to see him and is like, okay, but we still need the technology that Tim

Curry has in Tim Curry company. We need the voice recognition software. So now we have to go to the races. The F1. Yeah. Is it F1? It's some kind of open wheel Indy car. Thank you.

All right. Boost out from the crowd mic. Perfect. Yeah. Because Tim Curry also... Thank you for being here tonight, Mr. Hamilton. Tim Curry is the kind of like, uh, only aginist piece. He's the Christian Horner of like an Indy car team. Basically his car's license plate is core win with win. I know where you get your F1

knowledge. Yeah, exactly. It's very convenient. We might know one person who knows about F1. And so all of the angels are dressed in sexy jumpsuits. Andrew Barrymore is zipped down to like here, fully tipped out in the jumpsuit. And she's like, okay, we'll go and distract Corwin's chauffeur while Lucy Lou puts a tracking device on his car. So she gets in the car. She gets in the car. And she's like, yeah, tits all over the place.

Fucking hurt my neck by the end of tonight. Yeah. All these hair flips. This is like there's a loose pigeon in the car. She she was like a bee. Yeah. She was paid the same amount as Lucy Lou, but like an eight times amount of hazard pay

for the neck. I did that when I did that. But so she gets in the car, the chauffeur's in there and she's like, hi, I'm distracting you with a bunch of sexual banter. And this sort of works, he gets very hot under the collar and then she licks the steering wheel. She leans in and she goes, honestly looks like she panicked and was like, fuck. Genuinely, because like her line of it is just like, I just love cars and there's a beat and she goes...

And like when she leaves, he immediately like, get rubs it on. Like no one involved thought that was hot. He's a chauffeur, like he's just like, what the fuck? Yeah, you know she's in the group chat after that being like, boys, I fucking like this doing well. Oh my God. Well, I couldn't think what to do. It's a real what the fuck? Yeah, you know she's in the group chat after that being like, boys, I fucking hate the steering wheel. Well, I couldn't think what to do. It's a real finger suck moment though.

Oh yeah, yeah, for real. Oh shit. My notes say get a solid 20 minutes out of the steering wheel lick. So if you can just, just go like, you know, another 15. Nah. Yeah.

But so they see Crispin Glover, creepy thin man. He's still got the hair and he's sniffing it. He sniffs it like, like provocatively as like to piss them off. He looks at them and he's like... Yeah, sort of Russian two ants, you know? He's got such bright blue eyes in this scene, but for a second I was like, Lisana Kaibu. My God.

Who taught you to sniff hair that way? Crispin Glover drinks the water of life? Now we're fucking talking. Yeah, our fan cast of like every Dune movie, including the Jodorowsky one. That's as far as I've gotten, but I'm pretty happy with it. You know, kind of like a kind hearts and Coronets thing with Crispin Glover in every role. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a Kind Hearts and Coronets thing with Crispin Glover in every role. Yeah, yeah. It's like a Norbit situation.

It's just all... Oh, fuck. I want to see Crispin Glover's harcon and so bad. Can you imagine Crispin Glover's fate? You have to watch, by the way, Dune 2 before tomorrow night, because I won't stop talking about it. You would smell the hair more if you had no hair, obviously. It's a good film.

I know, I know. I missed it. Cause yeah. It's like, but yeah. So he gets in the Indy car and leads Cameron Diaz on a chase through the streets of Long Beach for some reason. Well, they drive around the track

and then Lucy Lou gets on the radio and she's like, Cameron Diaz, it's a circular track. He's not going anywhere. She's like, literally the line, literally the line. And then the film just goes, oh shit. She's like, literally the line. Literally the line. And then the film just goes, oh shit. She's like, oh my God. He drives through a barrier, like riding the new line. The sign of great screenwriting

is that you write yourself into a jam and then you write yourself out of it and you leave both of them in. Ironically, they wrote themselves into a corner with a circular track. But yeah, so they have a chase through the streets of Long Beach, which culminates on this long suspension bridge and a kind of car joust. Yeah, people definitely die during this.

Well, crisping glovers seemingly, because as they're speeding towards each other, he blinks first and instantly like Ayrton Senna's himself off the bridge. I shouldn't use that as a verb and it should be a verb that means to inspire the Brazilian people. He instantly inspires millions of Brazilians. White boy shot Brazil with his white mattress. I guess you really did shock Brazil. Fucking hell. Okay.

He did. He did. But yeah, as he's falling off the bridge, he like, first of all, he no clips like 50 feet in the air, but second of all, they're playing a mournful, like salutary, smack my bitch up. Yeah, I cannot stress enough that smack my bitch up is Crispin Glover's leitmotif in this fucking movie. He arrives on screen, he's like, smack my bitch up.

He's here. It's like the fucking like naval burial service. And so we commit his body to the smack. Smack my bitch up rackets bagpipes. His young son walks up and just sings one like acapella version of smack my bitch up. So, so because of the like, because because of the tracking device, they know that like Tim Curry's, they know the routine of Tim Curry's fucking company. So they know that they have to do a heist montage. And they do one of my favorite things,

which is to like, we'll talk about in heist season, right, is plan the thing out at the same time that it's happening. Right? We go step one is we do the thing, and they're actually doing the thing. And so there's two guys who are required to get into the vault. And one of them has to use a retinal scan, and the other one has to finger fuck a panel full of gelatin.

Yes. Yes. I would have had them both do both of those things. He's like flagging fisting top, and he's just like, whew. It's genuinely like a soft panel in the wall that you like slide the panel into. Yeah, very, very substantial motion. Yeah. You're a cold finger slightly. But you see that guy, he's got like two nails slightly shorter than this. Yeah. Yeah. And then you walked in and you're like, you don't look Japanese at all. What the fuck?

So the first one of these guys... This is really fucking bad by the way. Okay, yeah. We got to do two things. We got to get a retinal scan and we got to get a hand print. To get the retinal scan, first of all, we have... My notes say, oh no! This isn't even the retinal scan.

This is the hand print. Oh, it's the hand print! It's the hand print, right. I'll tell you why. Because the guy is like in a belly dancing club, question mark, where Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz are belly dancing in the full like ensembles. And he's drinking a Budweiser, which I don't know how much Budweiser chipped in for.

And then Drew Barrymore enters the scene in brown face. Not LL Cool J face! Painted straight on. Yeah, straight like brown and wearing the kind of Gerrida outfit, the like silks. And she like takes the guy's Budweiser and then extracts like thumbprint off of it. Oh, fuck that. And then in the lab in her kind of like science outfit, she's like 3D prints a hand. She grows the stranger hands.

Except it's legitimately, this is my favorite practical effect, never stop doing practical effects. It's a rubber glove covered in like fucking plastic or gelatin or like fucking oatmeal or something. It's incredible. Yes. And then having fully done Brownface, they follow this up with, we're not racist if we offend everyone.

Fuck Bavarians. Yeah. This is my thesis statement for these Charlie's Angels is that they solve every single problem they come across in this movie with a sort of like racially aggregated improv set. They're just like throwing a dart at an Atlas like fuck those guys. So like improv is already a crime. It's already bad enough. But it's like if you racially aggravate it, that's like you're sentenced more harshly.

They just pick a race and they're like, and we'll just dress up like this. And then I guess just sort of do something. Like Burundi? What the f... I think labor of promise to make improv like more punished if it's racially aggravated improv. But so they show up in this kind of like hippie long stocking outfits? Yeah, I've just written Lederhosen strippers. Yeah, with Bosley who was playing a tuba at the guy's house. They're like a yodel gram.

Yeah, as you do. And then- Oh my God. How would you describe it? No, that's exactly right. It's a yodel, of course it is. So they turn up to yodel gram this guy and his assistant is like, his assistant is like,

they've got the wrong house. Is that his assistant? And he's like, don't interrupt. It fully looks like his his husband's life partner. Like this guy's like doing... Because the one guy is into it and the other guy is like, we got to get back in the house. And it fully looks like this is like gay husband, bisexual husband.

And the bi one is like having some later hoes and feelings, you know? But so, yeah, Bosley's tuber like scans his fucking retinas. And then we have to infiltrate the thing and... Okay. It's... This rules, I'm sorry, this is great. Yeah, this rips. I've written gender, then I've written... Yeah.

Yeah, gender and Marxism is this scene. That's right, that's right. Because we have Lucy Liu as a kind of corporate efficiency shark. Are we familiar with the racist trope of a dragon lady? We are about to become familiar with it. Yes. However, she is joined by two drag kings. Yeah.

Yeah. This movie, this movie, as with all movies. We have a thesis on this podcast, which is that all movies are for the trans community. This one, most of all. So they've got, it's like pubes glued to the face level of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks pretty good considering. And yeah, she, she like bullies this woman into letting her do the kind of dragon lady dominatrix thing on a bunch of corporate drones.

And so like, she has a whip, she has a riding crop. And as she's making a point, she like whips across. And I realized that what I've just seen is Lucy Lu whip a cross dressing Drew Barrymore across the thighs. I just have to get up and walk around for a minute. Right? Right? I can't believe they let Drew Barrymore

and Cameron Diaz boy mode in this, but they wouldn't let me do it in Jenga. Also it's really country the way when she gets hit across the thigh, she's like, it's like, but yeah, so Lucy Lou does sort of dominatrix communism, which is also my ideology. If the mean woman tells you to seize the reins of power, you seize the fucking reins of power. She'll seize your reins, but you can seize the reins of power. That's right. That is right. That's all we need, actually.

You didn't hear that. You didn't hear. So, you know, I learned to ride a drone. I'm a worker right now. Lucy Lou motivates this audience of corporate drones to go and. You want to shiggle up? Sorry, sorry. At what point does this cross the line into like workplace bullying, you know?

Quite a while ago, I'd say. If I had to be honest with you. So a whole workplace full of drones, something completely unimaginable to you. Lead a march on management's offices. We're gonna have to beat that. And the two drag kings. Uh-huh. Keep going, keep going. There's a two drag kings next to you.

Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz assume the roles of these executives and they finger fuck the Jellison panel and they do the like eye thing and a pair of calipers come out and measure Cameron Diaz's head and are like fucking boy moda detected. Apply Katia's mouse. And they're like fucking boy motor detected. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Why cat ears now? Yeah, she has to put the cat ears on. It works the second time. And they get into the vault where they install a bug

by squishing two sticks of RAM together. And I really hate that because it's a direct close-up shot of two sticks of RAM in the computer. And she just like, these can bend, right? I assume. And they, but they find... I didn't know RAM came in sticks. I didn't know RAM was a physical thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Random extra. You've been downloading all your extra RAM.

What you do is you like buy it loose and you like throw it into the computer. Oh, okay, cool. Anytime that it seems like it needs it, you know, it's a consumable. How many RAMs does this have? Oh, upwards of five. So having done a little cross-dressing, they have the bug and they're downloading all of the information on Tim Curry's systems. And Vivian Wood is like, cool, we can just send that over to whenever.

We'll just back up a truck. We'll take that. Yeah, just shoot that away. Anytime's fine. And they go, well, we can't really shoot that. This presents a concern to the ethics policy that Charlie's Angels apparently have. Weird that it allows racism, but not- Encourages, I would say.

Yeah, requires, but not corporate espionage. Exactly. You cut yourself off from a whole lot of what like spies do by not doing corporate espionage. But yeah. Bosley is like, yeah, it seems a little like unethical. He's like, we'll put it on our computer and send it to you if we find anything. Yeah. However, we will send Drew Barrymore over to babysit Sam Rockwell to make sure that Tim Curry doesn't kidnap him again. Which is a sentence that you can say in the English language. And at this point, Sam Rockwell says, my backstory is I'm very careful who I trust. You should also take on board that lesson, Drew Barrymore.

He's dropping a number of hints and he shows a photo. Would you like a shag now? Exactly, exactly. He shows her a photo of like his dad, who is like in a green beret, Vietnam uniform, you know, in the angels one Vietnam, with a guy with his- Giant Cameron Diaz.

Yeah. It's in the background, you could just evoke. And- Just the dick. Swinging in the Spider-Man under his. The, the, the. Remember that time she killed a Vietnamese radio operator. But. It's the picture of Willem Dafoe, like.

But so, the guy, the guy next to this green beret has his like face blurred out and he says, that's my dad. He was a green beret in Vietnam until his best friend turned on him. No explanation, just like a dog. His best friend, a bully XL. A man who I also have a photo of in my house. He went rogue, Just started biting him. You know? It's a damn shame it happens. There's no bad soul. No, there are. There are. I do really like their acting in this scene. Samra was such a fucking good actor. He doesn't nail this. It's really good.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's also surprising how much of this movie is a romantic comedy Yeah, like both the stuff with Matt LeBlanc and no. Yeah, cuz the fucking plot slams to a halt here Yeah, and we're gonna get some bits about like playing Scrabble together or like Making shake and bake together and the long and the short of it is that they fuck nasty Yeah, there's like there's some stuff with the chicks and then they fuck. You know, we're a feminist podcast. I'd be remiss if I didn't say Sam Rockwell's fit is absolutely dog shit. Yeah, true, true.

When he's playing this tech guy, just fucking horrific. Big baggy jeans, but not like in a hot way that you can do nowadays, like dog shit. Sometimes something in the movie strikes me and I make a note that's unhelpful to myself. And so my next note is just woof in all caps. I see it. Oh, this is Vivian going to seduce Bill Murray by turning on very early.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I know you. I know you. Thank you. Yeah, you really do. Can you do the horse click a few more times? Yeah. So, so she goes to Bill Murray and she's like, hey, how about in exchange for the... Why don't we fuck nasty? Leave your laptop on the table while we do it.

Yeah. You unlock it as well, just don't... Maybe play some things on Spotify. It's really hot to me when men unlock their laptops. So could you give me an example of that? And Bill Murray is like, no. Bosley lives by a code of honor, right? Apparently.

And so he's just like, no, I don't want to do that. So she drugs him. She like spikes his drink. Yeah. And at this point, Cameron Diaz earns the respect of the black community. Yep. Correct. Yeah.

So you are aware of Soul Train? Yeah. So Soul Train, Soul Train, as we're aware, right? Soul Train comprises... Much like the sort of Japanese system of Bushido, Soul Train comprises a system of interlocking honor and respect. And so, Soul Train's highest honor is being brought up on stage to dance. And so she's there on a date with Luke Wilson. Yeah. She's actually dating this guy, by the way. That wasn't just, she didn't just do that to get information earlier. She's earnestly into this guy.

And some of the bouncers go, hey, do you want to come up on stage? Ooh, Soul Train, Soul Train's highest honor. It's like the Navy cross with the Soul Train. You know, it's like the Kronstein or the Kaufman star. And we get a kind of comic dance sequence because the thing about Cameron Diaz, right, is that she's a beautiful woman, obviously. You can't say that she has a big butt. Very thin woman. Yeah.

And so they do. The movie wants you to. Well, yeah, but well, this is the thing. In 2000, there was this song about this. I don't know if you remember about a guy who liked women with like big asses. Oh, there's something there. Yeah, yeah. And so she does a dance sequence. And I'm not sure if the movie intends this to be like, oh, she's quite thin.

Or if the joke is, if that's the joke, or if it's just turning the movie into a house of lies. Well, I think the joke is that she, the song is so makes a lot, I like big butts and I cannot lie. And she dances to this and like nobody reacts because I think the joke is that she has she don't, the song is so makes a lot, I like big belts and I cannot lie. Um, and she dances to this and I, and like nobody reacts because I think the joke is that she has no butt. Yeah. And she's a terrible dancer. She's, she's like dancing not well. And the thing is Cameron Diaz is a very good dancer, so she's having to try to act being a bad dancer, which is tricky. Um, but they like, she, she wins them over with her enthusiasm and we, we get some like racial comedy there. Yes.

They all start chanting. The black community and for some reason the one white guy who can hang. The second highest honor in Soul Train. Luke Wilson. It's like, yeah, actually. Yeah. The whole way through Luke Wilson is like hitting the two bodyguards and be like, she's good, huh?

She's good. And that's like, she, she gets a go white girl chant going, which is... They do chant a go white girl. Every white girl's fondest dream, you know. I wrote down here, white girl shocks black community with perfect... Perfect small ass. But yeah, so she wins the mover. It's fine, I just didn't expect her to be white.

Me going to white heaven. Oh, I don't want to go there. I don't want to go there. So then she goes to the bathroom and she's like over shares. This is another thing about her because she gets nervous and she's not able to say about men. So she's like, hey, I have to go and like piss out of my urethra into a toilet. And so she goes and a guy follows a bathroom intruder, follows her in and tries to like agent 47 her with the length of chain,

which is alarmingly hardcore. Like he's trying to choke her with the chain. It's like, they're like the comedy section of this movie is over. Yeah. Now, now, now I'm going to kill you. In fact, it is ongoing because this guy looks a lot like Lin-Manuel Miranda. He's not the only one. Who is presumably on stage next. He is not giving up that shot.

So Lin-Manuel Miranda tries to choke her and she like... Is he following Soul Train? She like wire foos over his back and like she like kicks him against a mirror and she interrogates him in a primarily sort of foot based torture session. Again, Quentin Hoo. And the thing is, he's like, yeah, I work for Vivian Wood. And at this point, Tim Curry is decapitated by Crispin Glover?

Yeah, Crispin Glover is fully like, whee! You know, again. Remember Tim Curry? Don't worry, he's gone. Yeah, he's dead. And then Lin-Manuel Miranda does a thing, which I think about a lot. I thought about, I've been thinking about it

since we did Atomic Blonde, right? Which is the feminism. Feminism is when a man calls a woman a bitch and then is then kicked unconscious, right? That's all it is. That's the way to do it, baby. That's what happens in feminism. I hate women.

Krrr! Yes, yes! I had tea with Anita Sarkeesian a week ago and that's what she told me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.00% of feminism has been built. Gotta kick more men. I'm trying for fucks... I got short legs.

Not at all. You can kick some men. So Drew has fucked Sam Rockwell at this point. She has absolutely fucked Sam Rockwell, yeah. On the job, she is supposed to be guarding this guy. And she gets up, she's wearing the sheets, kind of knotted into a dress, and chairs that revolve on their own with a beautiful evil woman in them make me rather horny. The essence of humor is subversion.

But yeah, so it's Vivian Wood. She has become sexier because she's evil. One of the classic things. Sam Rockwell is like, oh, by the way, I was evil. And get sexier. I just want to... I want to highlight... I really want to highlight something because like...

Drew Barrymore takes Sam Rockwell over to the sofa when Viv's there. It's like, hey, baby. And is like trying to tell sofa when Viv's there. It's like, hey baby. And is like trying to tell him that she's evil, but the way she does that is by arranging the words of the Scrabble like into the word enemy and then she goes, enemy. And I love that so much. Cute, like as if he can't read. And he goes, I never learned to read.

I know. But yeah, so what happens functionally at this point is Drew Barrymore is naked but for a towel, getting bits of strawberry and cigarette butts spat at her by a hot couple explaining how dumb she is. No comment. Do you ever see someone get a kink in real time. So Crispin Glover shows up. He's, I guess, not in the polycule, but he's like adjacent. He just watches.

He's in it for the hair. And like Sam Rockwell presses the become hot button because all of his fits from this moment on are just like black suit, black shirt, sunglasses. He looks so fucking cool. And also like his hair gets quiffed and he just activates Sam Rockwell mode too, which is like tough Sam. He changes Rockwell gears, you know, from Norman to Sam. So Drew Barrymore. Thank you. Thank you.

So Drew Barrymore, she gets shot off of the, out the window. Yeah, she gets fucking shot down, down, down the hill. And she has to like steal some children's clothes. Well, so, so he shoots her out the window. Very cool. And then they're like, cool, let's go. And then we see like a time rewind and we see that she dodged the bullet. Yeah. Like Neo style. And I'm like, can Drew Barrymore dodge bullets? Yeah. Yeah, she can. Is that a thing you can do when you're bisexual? I wouldn't know.

Yes. So don't have a gun? Yes. Did you say yes? No, I said yes about the bisexual thing. Don't worry. I don't have a gun. This night.

But yeah, so she slowly drops from the tower down onto the Hollywood Hills. And she has like roll downhill into the backyard of like a house where two children are playing video games and be like, hey, can I borrow some clothes from you? Well, she said one of them, these two tween boys, one of them says, have you ever seen a boob? The other one was like, yeah, I totally have. And then Drew Barrymore turns up naked and it's like... Yeah. Isn't that so prime? This is nonce, nonce, nonce. Then she arrives at the next scene like wearing kids clothes and like driving a little mini moto as well, which I did think was funny. Oh, those kids clothes? I mean, I guess they're supposed to be. I thought she was just dressing like a 2020s gay, like she looks great.

No, yeah, no, no, it's comfy. I also wrote this down, the not beating the allegations that like foot to women dress like children. In the modern context... I have to get this dress picked out for me. Yeah, in the modern context, it looks great. It's a great fit. But like you are supposed to read it as her having like worn some of this kid's like spec

clothes. Cause yeah, she arrives in a moped and the other two like check out what she's wearing and she's like, don't ask. And I'm like, you look great. You look fantastic. You look the best dressed one in this whole fucking scene. It's like a fucking wrestler. And instead of arms, he's got pythons.

It's fucking... I would wear that. I would. So Bill Murray gets kidnapped and we just do some Bill Murray bits at this point, right? The fucking base explodes. Yeah, they go back to the base and it fucking explodes. Yeah. And Sam Rockwell's evil plan is like, Charlie was the guy who betrayed my dad. Yeah, he turned on. I'm going to use the software to find Charlie and kill him. Kill him right back. Yeah. Yeah.

Makes sense. Compells. Could have done this without alerting you, probably. That would have been a good idea. Never mind. It's fine. So yeah, Bill Murray is locked up in Fort Boyard. I mean, it looks a lot like it. And at this point, the movie just goes, fuck it. We'll have some Bill Murray bits here.

Like, earn that money, Murray. You know, you don't, you can scream at Lucy Lou as much as you want, but you will do comedy. And so he is- Is that what that was? Apparently, yeah. I have it in good authority. That's what he's trying to do here.

He like tries to like scream for help and things of this nature. And then remembers that he has the little tooth microphone and tries to like use his head as an antenna. And in the wreckage of the agency, they find him coming through on speakerphone. Yep. And because Dylan has bird's autism. I listen. Wait, no, it's Natalie. It's fucking Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz, yeah. Cameron Diaz, she has the bird's autism.

She identifies the call of a bird on the thing. It's a prairie nut hatch. Yes, yes. And she's like, those only live in one location. They only live in next location. You better believe that location is next. Yeah. So meanwhile-

Scenic next location. Sam Rockwell is having a- I love a postcard that so meanwhile, scenic next location, Sam Rockwell is having a postcard that says greetings from scenic next location. Yeah. It almost like that could be some kind of merch we could do. Sam Rockwell is having a fucking time. He is doing the end of tropic thunder played completely straight. He can fucking dance. Yeah, truly. Get him on the stage. He's doing the Tom Cruise bit. He's dancing, he's having a little sexy evil dance as he traces Charlie's location. And how are the angels going to get to him? Well, there's only one person they can ask.

Sweet Chad. Because the Chad has a tugboat. And again, if you started dating Drew Barrymore and you have a tugboat, you would keep the tugboat. You would make that tugboat your whole personality. I don't want to sound mean, but like, can Chad legally be in charge of like a motor vehicle? Did you mean like the sort of like sobriety or like mental capacity?

I don't know what it is, but... The fact that it is 2000 Tom Green. It's Chad. Yeah. Yeah. This is one of the little IMDB pieces of trivia is that like Tom Green like injured himself quite badly in the course of making this and like... He didn't do anything. No, no, no. He got diagnosed with testicular cancer. From Charlie's Angels?

Now that's feminism. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, fuck you, gross tumors in your testicles. This movie was like. Shining like a laser light. It was like a kind of like scale version of The Conqueror. Every sort of male actor in it.

It's just someone, someone knows. So the Chad drives them in the most of the thing. And he's like, are you still into me? And she's like, maybe, you know, hope springs eternal for the Chad. And so they get some like exploitative wetsuit shots. The thing that really, that really bugs me here is they go in the wetsuits and they like swim up to the shore, they walk up the shore and then they cut and then go to like get undressed and then run back down the shore for their clothes. It's... We got to infiltrate this castle.

Right? Yep, yep, yep, yep. Very badly because Drew Barrymore is immediately captured. Oh yeah, of course. Straight away. She confronts Sam Rockwell and is like, aha! And he's like, obviously I have a gun. It's like, you broke my heart with your fucking polycule. Why can't you be monogamous?

And she experiences the polycule blues. I've always been told this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because the guy's other girlfriend is like, why don't you fucking tie her up or something? Which, yeah, I've been there. Meanwhile, Cameron Diaz is having a fight trying to break Bosley out. And she stops the rescue to field a call from Luke Wilson because this is a heart romantic

comedy. Because boys. Because boys, because women. That's what women like, because boys, right? As opposed to what women like, the scene that changed me as a person. I saw this for the first time at an alarmingly young age, which is, so Drew Barrymore, she's... Right.

Good start. Strong start, go on. She's duct taped to a chair. Yep. And duct tape doesn't work like that. No, but you wish it did. And Sam Rockwell. You taught me that.

No. So Sam Rockwell is like menacing her. And then he does the most incredible thing, which is freehand draw a pair of lips onto duct tape that he's holding to like press across her mouth. I mean, come on. If nothing else, you have to respect the artistic skill, right? Vem is hoping that some of you are taking notes. Yeah, literally, literally. You should be taking notes if you're listening to this, by the way.

Absolutely. And again, Sam Rockwell's makeup game has been incredible. He like freehand lips on like a curved surface. Like, amazing. But yeah, he like kind of menaces her and he shows her that he is tracing Charlie's location. And once he knows Charlie's location, he's going to kill him somehow, fire a missile

at him. So... He says he's going to torture and kill him and then later on he just like shoots a missile. He's just like, fuck it. Whatever. I would find having a missile shot at me to be pretty torturous. Briefly? For a second.

You're not in a situation where it's like, I bet that feels good as hell. I bet it feels bad as hell for a second to get hit with a missile. I bet it, yeah, no, a hundred percent. I bet it feels awful. I don't think it feels good. For like a couple of seconds.

That doesn't feel like much. You're bisexual, you can dodge missiles. That's true. I gotta get in this bisexuality thing, you know? I'm fucking up. It's good, I gotta get in this bisexuality thing, you know? I'm fucking up. It's good, I recommend it. So Lucy Liu is trying to triangulate a fucking antenna or something, I don't know. She's fighting Crispin Glover.

Yeah, Crispin Glover sneaks up on her and rips some more hair off her and he sniffs it some more. And they have a fight scene. We have about like an hour of wire fighting at this point. And it's quite well choreographed, but it's very poorly shot, which averages out to be... But the lighting is... I can see it. I can see this.

It's cool. That's true. Because it's outdoors. It's the main thing. And so Drew Barrymore is left alone. He hears losing energy, by the way. He hears losing energy by the way. Yeah. He hears it like, Oh my fucking God.

The movie is losing energy. Yeah. Yeah. And some guys. Back up boys. We get a sort of thread of like sexual menace, right? Which is Sam Rockwell's like, he sends his boys in and he's like fucking.

He does. Just kill her, I guess. Question number. Yeah. He says, boys, do you like angel cake? And then walks away and I'm like, is that she's dead? I also wrote that down. I was like, do you mean killer boss? Cause I don't want to go out on a limb on this. I don't even enjoy being murdered. I don't want to kill her and then come back and be like, you had cake in the next room.

Baffling. You got to give me more. Did you want us to eat her? Because we did. In a sort of baking situation, yeah. Did you want us to make cake and then have it with her? We did, it was delightful. Yeah, I mean, she couldn't really eat much because of the duct tape, but like, you know, she didn't seem to have a nice time, you know, big smile anyway. I can't tell you how much of my brain that occupied.

And I saw this movie when it like, I think a year or two after it came out, and it came out in 2000, so I must have been like 10 or 11. So, yeah, very, very formative for me. We're fucking... She's tied to the chair and she's like, in 45 seconds, I'm going to kick your ass and moonwalk out of here. And they're like, haha! It's a little bit fudge.

It's a tiny, tiny little bit fudge because she's like, but my trusty lighter, which is an American flag cigarette lighter is not working. So I guess I'm gonna have to do it all with my hands tied behind my back, which she does, except she doesn't do any of the stuff she like threatens to do to them, which kind of falls a bit flat.

And the soundtrack is like, hitting you with a chair. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. Weirdly changing my sexuality. She does. She, she beats up all the guys and then she does in fact moonwalk out of the room very badly. No, she doesn't. Yeah. It's that's how bad it is. It's worse She goes, worse moonwalk than Jamal Khashoggi. And she fucking... She just kind of goes, you know? It's not, it's nothing. It's nothing.

So Sam Rockwell leaves on a helicopter to go and assassinate Charlie. But first he fires a missile at them, killing, we presume Crispin Glover. Yeah, no body see. And also presumably killing Viv, his own partner. No loyalty to the polycule. Very sad. But yeah, although if either of them are bisexuals. Yeah, true. That'd be fine.

Exactly, exactly. Spoilers for the next movie, I guess. But I guess this proves that Crispin Glover is bisexual. And then, but Vivien Wood isn't. Crispin Glover's is hair sexual in this. True. I guess if you're bisexual for hair, you're like different colors, maybe? Answers on a postcard, please.

Bill Murray is still in the film for some reason and has a truck from pulling it out of his arse. Yes, yes he does. Oh yeah. And so they chase this helicopter, they fire a little like dart up into the helicopter and we reuse a bunch of shots as they all climb onto the helicopter in pursuit. Drew at this point earns a Kronstein rosette. Yep. Because she climbs in and she tries to punch Sam Rockwell in the head. He's flying

the helicopter. He's the only one in it. I feel like something we haven't mentioned so far is that the Charlie's Angels in the first two films never use guns. And the reason for that is Drew Barrymore just like doesn't like him. It's like very pro gun control, which I think is a cool stance to take. Yeah, sick. I wouldn't often say this, but this is one of the situations which a gun would have been useful. It would have been so helpful, wouldn't it?

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a hellfire missile is... Drew Barrymore with the strap. With the what? With the strap. Where? Well... When? Uh-oh. with the strap. Where? Well, when? Oh, I put myself in a situation. I realize I might have

had the strap and the glock like mixed up. I mean, it's nothing. You should see one of the panels together into the vault in the KGB office. Something you'll notice is that the Charlie's angels never use the strap. The reason for that is Drew Barrymore is very much against it. You're always like, can I use the retinal one? I'm like, yeah, that's fine. Oh my god. I didn't know we had an office. Yes, because you don't know how to work the fucking panel. She knows. The technique isn't... I can, I can leave if you.

I might actually. It seems we can both make adverse disclosures, Ms. Thorne. Challenge accepted. You know the fucking supplements I'm on, I don't even fucking need a strap. You know, I signed that release waiver, so you can just feel free to stick things in my slot. And I'm Devon. Thank you. But so, Lucy Lu tries to like reprogram the missile.

She tries to reprogram. She tries to reprogram them. Now there's two seconds from getting on the god Mike and the bleed will be too much. Please, please, please. It's very bad for the audio. It's bad for the audio. So yeah, she reprograms the missile, which then immediately targets the helicopter. They're all on, not maybe the smartest move, but who knows?

The two- To win that Cronstein. Fuck you, I'm not gonna let you take it from me. Well then the two of them who aren't Drew Barrymore just like drop and I guess tuck and roll into the fucking ocean. Yeah. From a helicopter.

Yeah. It's water. Yeah. No one's ever died from hitting water. On that Brazilian fella. No one's ever died from hitting water. All knowledge and belief. That's yeah, Ayrton Senna, for instance. What do I think happened to Ayrton Senna? What in my head do I imagine? Yeah, Drew Barrymore inspires the fucking Brazilian people.

She's not my girlfriend. So Sam Rockwell was like, I guess we'll both die then. And Drew Barrymore also jumps out of the helicopter and is just fine. He's like, oh. I didn't know you should do that. Maybe I should. I'm dead. Instantly. This all hits him.

Instantly inspires a nation of Brazil What did James Bond do to that guy? I don't know, but the Brazilians fucking loved it. So, so the missile fires, anyway, Charlie's house is blown up. And they're like, oh my God, did Charlie die? No, Charlie's house isn't blown up, the helicopter is. Yeah, yeah, the helicopter is blown up. Charlie's house is fine, because the house is going in. I'm confusing the bit where the base is blown up.

Yeah, so they go in Charlie's house and they're like, is he here? Are we finally going to get to see him? Here's something that I love so fucking much, by the way. Charlie has the same picture. And it's that, you're fucking right. Because it's the one of like, it's the one of that guy's dad and him like blocked out. He's got a photo of himself where his face is obscured in his house.

And also I think Charlie then comes over the intercom because he's not there and he says, yeah, some Rockwell's dad was a traitor and I did kill him. And I'm like, you have a picture in your house of the guy you killed? To be like, yeah, every day I'm like good. To remind me every day of, uh...

Also he says specifically he was, he was a double agent, which was, that was a North Vietnamese double agent in the US special for that guy. Sounds cool. Where's that guy's movie? Why am I hanging around with these three women? What? But so yeah, they don't get to see Charlie and Charlie instead is like, why don't you all take a beach vacation for a beach scene? Why don't you hang out? And yeah, they don't get to see Charlie and Charlie instead is like, why don't you all take a beach vacation for a beach scene?

Why don't you hang out? And yeah, they do that. Why don't you wear bikinis for the final scene of the movie? Exactly. And Drew Barrymore, the truest of the disciples, the one whom Charlie loved. She alone has granted revelation because everybody else is like, bitch, yeah, and she looks over her shoulder and she sees a guy who's on a cell phone, 2000, new technology.

It's like, is that fucking Charlie? Is that fucking, keeps it to herself, you know, the private little thing. Which I quite like. The rest of them are going like, Charlie, how will we ever know that you're not real if you don't come down here and have a coconut? And he gets it genuinely. That's the line. Verbatim line.

Verbatim line. Written by a paid screenwriter. His name is John August. He's actually a friend of a friend. I'm really glad we haven't criticized the writing in this. All right. Well, I can start now. Well, I only didn't get to it.

I can if you... And Charlie goes, it's called Faith Angels. And that's... Right? Yeah, that's the movie. Well, the thing is, it's not though, because there's something that we don't do anymore, which is outtake credits. Yay!

A lost form of art. If you want to see Drew Barrymore corpsing, you know, fantastic. It's pretty good, actually. It's really fun. It makes me feel all night included. And crucially, crucially, do we remember... Chad. I hope we didn't forget. Chad. Because if we had forgotten.

Sweet Chad. It wouldn't be as fun that we get a post credit scene as of MCU introducing the Chad. Phase two. Chad. Do we? Yeah, there's a post credits Chad scene. I turned it off when the credits started. I gotta be honest.

Chad is like on his tugboat and he climbs into the funnel and then he falls into the funnel and he's like, the Chad is stuck. Wouldn't that, you've like fallen into the engine? Yeah, Chad, the Chad. The Chad is dead. The Chad dies of smoke inhalation between the movies. It's a shame.

I'll level with you. The Chad is not in the second one. Yeah, cause he died of smoke inhalation. Yeah, because he wasn't bisexual enough to dodge all the carbon molecules. And that's the movie. And this is a drop that I didn't get the chance to use. They don't call me balls out Natalie for nothing.

Woo! Woo! Woo! Cameron AgP as. I do wish people would stop calling me that. What does this movie say about femininity, masculinity, any of that shit? You're right. No, no, no.

I think it says that being a girl is cool. It's fun. You get to wear a lot of different outfits and hang out with your besties. Get duct tape to a chair sometimes. Yeah, as long as you're hot to men. True. Yeah. It's... Although sometimes that man can be Tom Green for some reason. It's kind of... Or the entire black community at a Soul Drain concert. It's a weird fucking movie.

However, we don't have to speculate about these things because we have a science-based system. Whoo! Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jumpum, skum, skum! Interesting, you chant this at this cast on International Women's Day weekend. Wow! Shame on you, audience. Doing a live show in England, be like... If anyone wants to spit any strawberries or cigarette butts at me. Does anyone got any duct tape?

It's called... It's called the Skum System. It stands for Smmaam Cultural Insensitivity, Unprovoked Violence and Misogyny. How smaamy is this movie? That's a great question. Bear in mind that we don't grade on a curve, but it can get so much worse. It's so pleased with itself. It is. It really is. I feel like it's gonna get worse though. It will.

We don't have to leave ourselves room. We can be like, this is, this is a seven, this is a seven, this is a seven star. Oh, so of course not because this is an objective measure. Of course. So science is. That's right. Yeah. I'm reliably informed. It's definitely. I had two A's in GCSE science. Nothing further. Thank you. Double science. I can go through two A's in GCSE science, nothing further. Oh, thank you. Double science. I can go through the rest of my GCSE results if you want. This is some fucking idiotic double science.

Yeah, for real though. Triple all the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as he's doing modern languages, one of the best German GCSE results in the country. I don't remember fucking any of it. Oh, wow. Cute. Yeah, I'll just go through the country. I don't remember fucking any of it. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'll just go through the rest of my CV now and pull that up here.

Yeah, I guess we will go through your GCSEs then. Trying to get hired by someone in the crowd. Yeah, maybe. Sman. Sman. Six? Six. Oh, you read my mind. Okay. You two have had to be going all night. I'm not going to get in the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six, 100%. Cultural insensitivity. You two have had to be going all night. I'm not going to get in the way of that. Six, 100%. Cultural insensitivity.

I will say... Chinese American. I will say, when the actual plot kicks off, they dispense with that bullshit fast. This is, they only do this in the first half where they're all kind of having fun with it. Well, you can only do like a racially aggravated improv when it's not serious. And then when it becomes serious, then... No, they still got the Chinese dragon lady stuff later on.

Oh, God, you're so... Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying that we should note it down or anything, but it is funny, but they just like, OK, we're getting serious now, drop the racism. It's like you could have dropped it the whole time. They're jettisoning the racism. James Bond would have kept that up. That's true.

I mean... And we don't know if that's better. It's worse. It's worse. Okay. This movie contains actual blackface. Yes, it does. Straight up brownface. For no reason.

The LL Cool J bit is fucking weird and racist. Well, it's seven at least. Like, and it's maybe 10. Because I'm looking at the word brown face in my notes. You've written all caps. And I don't want to give that less than that. Can we mark it down for paying Lucy Liu less? We can absolutely.

Because we have to just go up what's in the film. Because I'll say this, she didn't act like a ninth as well or as much as Cameron Diaz did. No, she's fucking great in this. No, she was fantastic. Seven. Seven. It's fucking great in this. No, she was fantastic. Seven? Seven. Seven. It's fully culturally insensitive.

Unprovoked violence. This is low. We're going to save it. It always does. Because Drew Barrymore, right? She's woke. She's a liberal. It's actually nice that they go out of their way to like weird handshake meme between Charlie's

Angels and Batman that they don't use guns. This is the weapon of the enemy. We do not need it. We will not use it. And I mean, this being... You would detract from Charlie's Angels, I think, if they started using guns. If they brought out a gun... If they brought out a gun, that'd be ridiculous. Because if they did, it would just be the same as any other action franchise, but girls.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that would be awful. So yeah, also, I think you should say is a like a passion project for Drew Barrymore. She loves the series. She like, she produced or exactly produced this. I'm passionate about being paid 11 million as well. No, no, no, but like this, this was this one and the sequel, like her baby. She was like, I did all these other movies.

So I could fucking aborted it, dude. Now that's feminism. It's National Women's Day. But yeah, so she forced them through and she's like, we got to make Charlie's Angels 1, Charlie's Angels 2. She's on record as being like Charlie's Angels 3. I'd love to make another one with us, with me at any time. Drew Barrymore, she's a complicated woman, right?

She's a child actress, horrific time of it. Also a scab. Like, yeah, she crossed the writer's guild picket. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then crossed it back. Yeah. She apologized and then deleted that apology and then re-apologize. Hokey-cokey on a picket line, but she's trying to figure out. Yeah. Sort of quantum scab. But one thing she is, is like anti-gun and pro-gun control. And so therefore, no guns. Therefore... Quite low. One even. Like I can't think of a time that any of them started on someone

else before. I mean, she knocks Tim Curry unconscious with her foot. Lucy Lou does. Oh yeah. And he seems like he really hated it. You haven't watched someone get a... It's like a one or two. Yeah, I'm struggling to think of anything. Straight up one, I think. One, okay. And misogyny. Misogyny. I mean, this is complicated, right? Because we're turning women against each other, which we always hate to do and is not a key feature of misogyny. I mean, it's kind of the misogyny of expectations, right? Of being like to be a woman is to be like fun and have a variety of cute outfits and like

sexually vivacious and available and straight. Yeah. The sole bisexuality in this again is Drew Barrymore being like Lucy Lou's arse, fuck's sake. Which is again, it's very relatable, right? But it's not like... Like the way they're framed, the way they're shot. The male gaze. Like it's, it's difficult to articulate, but like the number of like slow mo like bikini shots. If you were teaching a class on the male gaze and you wanted an example of what it is, you use this film.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. And because they hired this sort of like idiot, McG, who, you know, his sort of thesis statement on the movie is like, I'm, you know, a frat kid from, you know, Podunk, you know, Michigan or whatever. And all of a sudden I have Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore in like bikinis. You know, it was a dream come true. Who directed the third one?

Elizabeth Banks. We'll get there. Oh, you're so right. She wrote it and is in it. Did she also direct? Yes. Yes, she did. Okay, I think it really, really shows that the third one is directed by a woman because we... The third one does not have a lot of...

It's worse. Yeah. Oh, it's a worse moot, huh? We're at terrorism, baby! I disagree, but we'll get... I think that, yeah, the camera angles and shit on this, the way that they are shot, I'm not a fan. No, no. Misogyny, it's gotta be pretty high, right? Like it's... I think we give some and then we take some back.

Interesting. So it comes to like a four, maybe? Yeah, all right. Seems fair to me. Five? Five. It's fucking Charlie's Angels. Yeah, sure. It's not Judith Butler. Like, yeah. All right. That gives us a total score.

Oh, doing maths in her head. Shut the fuck up. 14, 19. Nine. 19. 19, which is pretty middle of the road. I mean, I'm looking back here. It's kind of a sort of lower Connery. This is all...

No, it's... Your eyes only was nine. It's the best that a Charlie's Angels film has ever done. It's the same as Diamonds Off Forever. Yeah, it feels a bit like that. The kind of daft old bastard Connery where it's like, oh, he's a piece of shit, but like he's too old to really do much with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Similar kind of vibe, strangely, for being sort of like so... Fascinating. 2000. Yeah. Wow. Man from Uncle, just fucking undefeated. Just like 15's, 14's, 11's, like bangers. Yeah.

But instead, instead we condemned ourselves to watch this because of our feminism. And you chose to watch it. And thank you so much for coming out this evening. If I could take a brief second to do a radical change of tone here, it is International Women's Day and I would be remiss if I didn't point out that the Western feminism is incomplete. It does not take into account the fact that the genocide against the Palestinians is killing a majority women and a majority under 20. They have no sanitary pads out there. They're finding it hard to...

Sorry, I get very emotional about this. They find it really difficult to access care that they need. We're doing fucking nothing. And the silence from Western feminism has been deafening and disappointing. And I would not be happy leaving this stage tonight on International Women's Day if I did not say free fucking Palestine. Yeah.

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Press and power are emotional. I think it's fair to say that it's incomplete by design. You know, it's convenient to do this kind of feminism.

Because then you can sell it in movies like Charlie's Angels. Exactly, exactly. And it's very rewarding. At least this first one is. This will not hold. Well, there's a degree to which this movie is just sort of like, it's in 2000, right? It's at the end of history. They've sorted everything out.

We've figured out all the shit. There's never going to be a nine of heaven. It's capitalism. Now we can be like, what if, what if we, what if women were people? What if, what if, what if a woman could bring up a bad fight? Let's like start exploring people? What if women were a marketable demographic? What if women were hot? You know, I've often thought of this. And then we just hear the sound of the plane.

Yeah, by law, every film should end with the plane whoosh from the end of Charlie Wilson's war to convey 9-11 is about to happen. All films, all of them, Barbie. Dune 2 for some reason. And if you want to find out how 9-11 affects this franchise, get back here tomorrow night. We are two more nights, we hope to see you again on both of them. In the meantime, thank you so much for coming out. We have been Killer James Bond. This has been Charlie's Angels.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Thank you.