Upstream - S3E16: Charlie's Angels Full Throttle [Live]

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

They made a second one. I don't know how to tell you this, but they did a second Charlie's Angels in 2003. How will this series about fun and cool women spies who are friends and love each other deal with making a sequel in the aftermath of the terrorist attack that shook the west? How will the early 2000s make itself felt? This, recorded live at the Streatham Space Project on International Women's Day Weekend, the 9th of March 2024, is Charlie's Angels! ------ FREE PALESTINE palestineaction.org/donate https://www.map.org.uk/donate/donate ----- Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com

Good evening, angels. Please welcome to the stage, Kil James Bond! Oh The fits the fits sex pervert sex pervert your mom on a night out She's here to have a nice time. I should have heated up this chair Good evening and welcome to another live episode of Kill James Bond. I am November Kelly. I am joined as always by my friends Abigail, Thorne and Devon. Hey! Finally! And I'm Devon.

Hi. I think we can all see that you are, yes. Thank you. And to celebrate International Women's Day, we are watching all three Charlie's Angels movies. Because international women are some of the best women that there are. That's right. This movie, the second, Charlie's Angels Full Throttle, is not one of the best movies ever made. No.

Three years it took them to make this, three years. And it's post-911, because the first one was 2000, this is 2003. And if you want to know how the Charlie's Angels universe deals with 911, the answer is, doesn't, didn't happen. It goes for the funniest possible thing, which is, what 911? It goes for the even funniernier option which is that the World Trade Center never existed. Once the Charlie's Angels won the Vietnam War that set America into the timeline where 9-11 didn't happen. The 50 foot tall Cameron Diaz just like swatted

the plane out of the air. It's like oh my god. I feel amazing for our country, and this is incredible content. So this movie begins with the cultural insensitivity scale, and against a group of people you would not guess. I genuinely. I mean, my first guess when I looked at the screen was, are these people meant to be pirates? And then it flashes up Northern Mongolia. Because genuinely, I thought I was looking at pirates of the Caribbean.

This is some Tortuga ass dudes. Yeah, it's like a bar in Northern Mongolia. And the vibe is sort of the Marion's Bar in Indiana Jones. It's rough. It's ready. There's Those guys they're tough. They're fighting. Yeah, and By the second movie at long last they understand what they have with Lucy Lou because she Unfolds herself from a box and says God if only. I think we were planning to come out on the stage just unfolding from a box, but there

wasn't time. Yeah, first we had the dashiki problem, then we had the box problem. We were just going to have to think of night three. We're just going to hide behind the desk as you're all coming in and then to go, we're not doing that. I don't know. Yeah. So much effort. But it's a motley crew.

So motley in fact that Drew Barrymore is there looking very beautiful but wearing a sort of Taiwanese Republic of China cap because Asia? I don't know how that would go over in a Mongolian. It's not quite as incongruous as Cameron Diaz's outfit though, is it? No, because Cameron Diaz enters the bar in, forgive me, full Abigail Thorne mode. She does? Yeah, to be fair, I do love those shoes and I think I have something very similar. She's dressed in a kind of like fuzzy white schoolgirl outfit?

Yes. Yes. Can you explain yourself? Turn the spotlight on that person immediately. Thank you for joining us, Cameron Diaz. Cameron AGP has. That joke's going to land two out of three nights. But yeah, so she enters the bar in the same way

as a woman entering a sort of leather dyke bar going, and where are all the men these motorcycles belong to? She's like, hey, it's cool being in Mong Mongolia. She's doing she's doing a German accent Yes, Mongolians love that shit. I assume and then she they have a mechanical bull Yeah, Mongolians love that shit in the bar and she's the distraction we surmise is she rides this mechanical bull in a very short Will give him a small amount of credit. It is a mechanical yak Okay, that's funny. Kind of funny.

Downstairs, Robert Patrick, guy we love to see, Terminator 2, is about to be beheaded by Mongolian ISIS. Yes. I'd like to note the extras in this scene, it comes up on the side, if you're watching this on Amazon, they are credited as deranged Mongol, and demented Mongol. Hey, my ghost of Sushima. What's the health bar? That's so lovely. It's Mongol of a types kind of Mongol. It's not a big deal, but it's like- How do they differentiate in their performances between deranged and demented? Going back and watching these guys. What's my super objective?

Cut this guy's head off in a deranged way versus in a demented way. You know, little nuances. It's very like method. But so Lucy Liu rescues Robert Patrick and he goes, where are your men? She goes, many men, dear. I've got two girlfriends in the bar.

She just like me for real. And a fight breaks out inevitably. And I will say this for McG, the director of the first two Charlie's Angels movies. He might be the only person who gets worse at directing with practice. I don't know if they lost the fight choreographer from the first one or what, but I can't see. I don't know what's happening.

Yeah, that'll get worse as well. Also there's a joke in there about Drew Barrymore holding down a trap door because she's fat except she's not like no no there's a guy on it. She's leaning on the demented Mongol. Yeah the guy walks out who I cannot stress enough is straight up like a medieval friar like a full-on like... But so yeah the reason the fight breaks out by the way is they get out of from under the trapdoor and the bars security eagle Mongolians love this shit, I assume. Detects them, right? It literally is like an eagle does the full head pivots like...

There is quite a funny moment where everyone in the bar turns around to watch them escaping and Cameron Diaz tries to keep the distraction going. She's still riding and will be like, look at me! And I can-host gives it up. Yeah. Also, I should say Drew Barrymore cut a shot of herself barking like a dog with the actual dog noise. The dog noises into this movie. And between that and the two girlfriends' joke,

this movie is transfeminine cinema. And another moment, which happens at the end, which we'll get to. There are a few trans moments. There's one thing you can rely on me for in watching a film is to find the trans moments. And there are a few. But they have to find a mini boss. At last, the series delivers us a mongo. Mongo the mongolian?

I might not say can we call him that. No, because now it sounds like a racial slur. Even though it's actually, yeah, Blazing Saddles reference. He's a demented mongo, I think is what like a racial slur. Even though it's actually Blazing Saddles reference. It's a demented Mongol, I think is what... Oh my god. No, I don't feel comfortable saying that even slightly. Can we get that off the recording actually, if anything? Strike that from the record. None of you remember me having said that.

Very quickly these Mongolian Vikings become the Chinese army. True. That's where part of Mongolia is. Rapidly they just turn into the Chinese army. True. That's where part of Mongolia is. Rapidly they just turn into the Chinese army. I hate when this happens to me. Also, but so the guy, the mini boss, right, he comes out, he's got the ushanka, the earflaps hat with the flaps undone to show he was crazy. Demented, even deranged perhaps. He's got it like a minigun, right? The effect is like Mongolian heavy weapons guy, right?

From Mongolian team fortresses. I played the shit out of Mongolian team fortresses. I couldn't afford the real one. It was an illegal, unlicensed Mongolian version. I don't know enough about Mongolia to do these jokes and neither do any of these people. Yeah. No, it's fine. Just lean in. What are Mongolians like? Security Eagles. Probably being Chinese, being Vikings and being pirates.

I just didn't expect this to be Chinese. Yeah. Walking into the Mongolian pub and being like, oh, it's fine, I just didn't think it'd be Chinese. Or pirates. Impenetrable. So rather than have a fight, they decide to simply jump out of the windows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They get in verse raiders of a lost art where they're all like, ah, and he just pulls out a gun and they go, oh shit, she's it.

They have a chase on the dam from GoldenEye and I'm forced to concede at this point. I'm having more fun than I did at any point in the last movie. I'm along for the ride on this one. Like I have Stockholm syndrome, you know, I'm fully, you know, I'm locked in. My notes here say LMFAO because the truck that they are on is carrying a helicopter and they fall over the side of the dam and then they do the golden eye thing of like falling after the plane, getting into the plane

and making it take off, except it's a helicopter. And I'm like, there's no fucking way you can do that. You can jumpstart a helicopter, I think. Yeah, pretty sad. No. How does this CG look of them by the way? There's no fucking way you could do that. You can jump start a helicopter, I think, when it's in the water. No. How does this CG look of them, by the way? Incredible. Early 2000s CG.

Oh my god. PS nil is the level of PlayStation that we're at. We shouldn't have ever gotten better than this. Yeah. But so now we get the credits, and if you remember the first one, how we introduced them all in like, like so fun montages, we reintroduced them again for the second time with the exact, well, with different montages, same program.

And this would be fun, but for the fact that, and I can't believe this is a sentence, I'm gonna have to say it at work, at my job. They make Cameron Diaz graphically onscreen double fist a cow's pussy. Yes. Yeah, she does. While she is doing the sexy pose of arching her back and throwing her arse out.

There is genuinely 10 minutes and 45 seconds into this movie, an actual footage of a cattle birthing. Yeah. And she does it, full force. Yeah, yeah. They can't fake that. They got one shot of that, I hope. They also do a call, she actually trained for nine months.

She pushes it back in between shots. Sorry, can we go again? And then the baby cow's like, god damn it. That's this or veal, I guess. But they do another shot, which is a call back to the- Craft services that day on set was amazing. If we remember in Charlie's Angels 1- I do a little cross dressing. Where the two of them did that. 1. I do a little cross-dressing.

Where the two of them did that. Yes. We get a little shot of the two of them who are cross-dressing as men at urinals high-fiving each other. So this movie is for the whole trans community. Yeah. It's sick. It's actually so good.

You know? It's for the ladies. It's for the gentlemen. It's for none of the above. Which... You gotta think of a better way to say that. We've been working together for quite some time. It's for the ladies, the gentlemen. Other.

And Devin. And Devin, yeah. It's also for Devin. Devin, do you feel included by this movie? No, not really. No. I mean, 66% is not bad. But so, now we get an opening scene. And the thing is, Drew Barrymore executive produced both of these.

These were her passion projects. She loves Charlie's Angels. And so, the cameo list for this is anyone who owes Drew Barrymore a favour. And Bruce Willis owed Drew Barrymore a favour. This is quite nice. He did this, I believe, in lieu of payment. He asked that they do a little spot for adoption. Just be like, do a little TV spot, being like, hey, consider adopting. And it's quite nice that he did that instead of getting paid.

It must have been a pretty big favor because what she asked for him in return is to get the Jordan Peterson haircut. Yeah. It's a very bad wig. It is alarmingly Peterson. He is some kind of fed. He works for the department of justice or something. And he has a special ring. And as he gets onto his plane, he's attacked by ninjas. The ninjas do not recur.

There is quite a fun bit where he gets on the plane and he sits down and his agent is like, right, we're taking off in a minute. So when he goes outside and then like Bruce Willis is like going through suitcase, he hears a noise and then he pokes his head out the door of the jet and like everyone in the hangar is dead. And I'm like, Ooh, that's quite creepy. How did you do that? It's not explained.

No, it's pretty, I like it. I like it. I like that it's Bruce Willis and you see him like beginning to do Bruce Willis shit and you're like, Oh, okay. Bruce Willis is't and then he gets iced. Just fucking straight up take it out. I have a girl in there that just shoot him in the head. So good. So good. So now we have to reintroduce Charlie's Angels for a third time and check in on what they're all doing. And what they're all doing is Cameron Diaz is moving in with her boyfriend from the last movie, Luke Wilson, not Owen Wilson.

Not him. There's a bunch of jokes about how strong Lucy Liu is, which is cool. She's like carrying a heavy TV and her arms are like really muscly. And then her boyfriend... Oh my fucking God, yeah. Her boyfriend, Matt LeBlanc, comes up behind her. Some of you have done the homework. And he says the following. Oh, so you thought you could escape from my fortress, not so fast.

To his Chinese American girlfriend. And she rightly fucking chucks him on the ground. The correct response, if someone is racist to you, like throw them over your entire body. Was that meant to be a reference to something? The mention of the word fortress is quite specific. No, he's just doing a bit, but like you're supposed to read that like the Chinese Mongolian guy from the previous scene has like come for her and she reads it like that as well. But instead it's actually just Matt LeBlanc being unbelievably racist.

I hate when things are that. I guess I'd prefer it to like a guy trying to kill me, but not by much. Oh, interesting. So you can don racism. From Matt LeBlanc specifically. Yeah, you know what? I guess kill me in that situation. That's what you wanted to hear?

Yeah, yeah, I guess that's what you wanted to hear? Yeah, yeah, I guess so, yeah. I guess if the choice is between do a racist accent and kill me stone dead, take me out. Between this and forgetting the word non-binary, this is really, I'm like severing this friendship on stage tonight. I'm terrified. The movie is about this also, by the way. I'm terrified the movie is about this also by the way Because as she's like as she's unpacking her stuff. She's like, oh, you know, I'm gonna be like a housewife I'm gonna get married to this guy. It's gonna be cool. And the other two are like she's so fucking quit in Charlie's Angels She's not gonna be in Charlie's Angels anymore. Yeah Oh my god, comedy isn't gonna be in Charlie's Angels 3. Yeah, she doesn't want paid Brazilian Brazilian dollars for the first one. Yeah Our friendship of three people might lose one person.

And that's a terrifying thought. It's like your career's really taken off. She's still going to do Charlie's Angels after this. She's going to be in the streams most of the time. That kind of thing. It occurs sometimes too. They also do about a million jokes about how sequels are less funny, all of which are just flatly true.

Yeah. Yeah. Because Matt LeBlanc, I think he said Matt Berry for some reason. Matt Berry. What Matt Berry doing a racist accent, what would that sound like? I don't know, I just imagine that in your heads. Kill me, kill me, take me out. Just from the lighting box. Those are really good golden I64 death noise.

Thank you, thank you very much. I've been practicing. So, so, Matt Berry LeBlanc, he says, I have a ticket to my movie premiere, which is called, this will be happening at the denouement of this movie. Come and see me after the ticking clock has been, you know, resolved. And then we'll do the final scene of the movie there. And then like, yeah, cool, cool. I do like this. One of his lines about the movie is we've got 13 riders, so it must be good.

I really like this one of his lines about the movie is we've got 13 riders, so it must be good But so then they got the call they have to go and see Bosley And Bosley Bosley has changed a little because they they come in and all three of them do the like Bosley thing and the reverse Shot is a guy who looks not very much like Bill Murray. And looks even less like Patrick Stewart. Really? I didn't notice. Yeah, Patrick Stewart, played by Bernie Mac here. Yes. Heavily implying for a second that Bosley has gotten the surgery that makes you black.

He's been to the Dine of the Day clinic. Yeah, exactly. He's gotten the Felix Light. His legs fell off, came back, he was gay, he was straight, now he's black. He's been to the, the Dine of the Day clinic. Exactly. His legs fell off, came back. He was gay straight. Yeah. Gay Bosley is an interesting time. But yeah, so it's, it's Bernie Mac. He's just like Smithers. I mean, they kind of do, do gay Bosley in the next one, but we'll get to that. He is apparently regular Bosley, Bill Murray. I don't know if they're called regular Bosley. Bill Murray Bosley. White Bosley. White Bosley. Yeah. I don't want a normal... Yeah. Black and normal. Cool. Jesus

Christ. Maybe we should kill me actually. Wait, why is it you instead of me since I've fucked up two of these in a row? I don't want to be involved in the call out posts. Straight up kill me before the tweets hit. Yeah, no. Oh god, I'm having a dreadful night already. And it's only going to get worse. This is how you know you're at a good comedy show. No.

No. No. No. It's a crisis of fate. You have a three house cake. It's just me. Yeah, genuinely. Oh, I'm having anxiety.

We can do this. We can do this. So I suspect that Bernie Mac improvised quite a few of his lines because there's a moment here where he says something and Lucy Lou corpses and they leave it in. What he says though is a vintage 2003 joke that you're all

going to hate. Man, please, I'd be fat woman. Right, which one of you laughed? Turn the spotlight on right now. I honestly think it was all you. Yeah, I mean it does kind of smack of ad-libs, right? But it's the ad-libs are pretty dated at this point. Well, yeah, one of my notes is let's get Bernie Mac out of my movie now.

Kind of done with this guy. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You want to go back to normal Bosley? Is that it? Yes. So at this point, the director of the FBI calls, it doesn't matter his name, don't worry about it. And so does Robert Patrick and they're like, yo, these rings, the rings that Bruce Willis

had, he was in Sixth Sense. Do you remember that? And then the ring that I had, Robert Patrick at the start of the movie, which I lost. They have the names on of everyone who's in witness protection everywhere. Yeah. They call it the halo program, hidden alias list operation, right? And so to like, get the like witness security, witness protection list, you have to have these two rings, right? And there are people who want these rings and this sets off what I like to call the cultural insensitivity power out. Have you got the names of these guys?

Oh I do, I do. Wonderful, wonderful. They are named respectively. They are the Diablo Cartel. Oh si señor. The Antonioni family. I'm in the process of dealing with these Guido motherfuckers. Pass.

Uh, I prefer we use the term Italian Americans. The, um, the- She's like a launch pad. Yeah, she's amazing. The Tanaka Yakuza. Careful, Whitey! And- And finally-

And last but not least, the O'Grady clan. Which is three Southie guys in tank tops These are equal criminal forces, right? Yeah And somebody is offering to sell the the knock list from Mission Impossible Yeah, these two cock rings to like these two cock rings with all the names on them And you know, one of the witnesses on the witness protection program has already turned up dead So, yeah, why don't you go and investigate right? Yeah, go to next location on them and you know one of the witnesses on the witness protection program has already turned up dead so yeah. Why don't you go and investigate right?

Yeah go to the next location. You know what was popular in 2003 was the show CSI. Oh so we do a bunch of CSI jokes because they're all CSI characters and and Bernie Mac does the inevitable. I'm not going nowhere near no dead bodies. Uh huh yeah. The representation is... What was the deal with that?

The deal with that is that it's a pretty racist bit. Yeah, he's afraid of goo goo goo ghosts. If he says anything and you're like, what's going on there? It's a racist joke, but we forgot about it at this point. You just don't have the background for it. Whereas I, who have learned about every form of racism. In order to not do them. The opposite of George Lazenby's character in The Man from Hong Kong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Learned your language and your culture and respected greatly. I learned so much from voice chat in Mongolian Team Fortress 2. So... So... So... Be like, wow, November's voice trainings really come on, but also she's got a weird Mongolian accent on it.

Yeah, I wonder what that might sound like. There's a cop guarding the house, so this guy's died. And it's Andrew Wilson, also not Owen Wilson. They're like Scarsgards, they're just budding off each other. I wrote down American Scarsgards. Every time I blip, there's another one of these fuckers, and it's never Owen Wilson. I think I saw American Scarsgards every time I blip, there's another one of these fuckers and it's not, it's never Owen Wilson. I think I saw American Scarsgards play in 2010, the indie landfill era.

Yeah. So, so he's, he's a cop and the way they get past him is Cameron Diaz out cops him. Yes. Yeah. What does she do here? She, she, he says that you can't proceed into the vicinity of the location of the, we've got a 745 and a 297 and she's like, we will directly at seven to five in the vicinity of the 94 it's in the six nine to seven to five. And he's just like, damn, you got me. Yeah. One of the codes is like a one one nine or something. And she goes like a chinchilla

farm and he goes ranch, but you're good. Yeah, when my careers counselor asked what I wanted to do at school this was the whole scene. I want to out cop the cops. Just sovereign citizenship. Just like legally my name is Cameron B Diaz, you guys my thumb prints and blood and shit. Do not consent to treaty. Of course I learned how to be a cop so but, but I can not do it. Basically true. Yeah. A lot from cop team fortress. It's just regular team fortress. Really? Oh, Vem's voice training is really coming. She sounds like a cop. I proceed to

podcast gentleman. So they go in and they do some CSI shit and they're like, they see the deceased gentleman. Yeah. And the deceased gentleman has, uh, I forget who he's like choked on popcorn or something. Oh yeah. He's been made to look like he choked on popcorn, but actually he's been smothered and they find two clues. Yeah. One of which is a pineapple wax for like surf. Yeah. Sex wax for like surfers. Sex wax. Sex wax. For like surfers. And then there's a very specific sneaker print, which somebody is like, oh, he had a limp, which is outrageous, but that is also like an actual thing from Sherlock Holmes. It's how they fucking caught the night stalker.

Like Drew accidentally does some like real cop shit with the like sneaker analysis. Yeah. Who's the night stalker? Serial killer. Don't worry about it. He's a great hero, his ult turns it to knight no matter when. I like serial killers. But if you use a phoenix egg during that it turns it back to day. So if I pinch the bridge of my nose any harder, I'm going to give myself a serious blood flow problem. This will work both injuries.

Slight sneaker, like print, limp, and then also pineapple wax while surfer, so let's go to the beach. That's a sentence that someone say verbatim having a stroke, by the way. That's a quote from the movie, I wrote it down. Also true. So they go, oh, fuck it, let's hit the beach. But before they do that, though, Lucy Lou's dad has to show up in the movie. Yes.

Oh my god. And I forgot to add the drop of John Cleese saying the word poppers, but it's John Cleese. Ooh, guy we hate to see. Enemy of the show, John Cleese, fuck off. Enemy of the show. And so Lucy Lou goes, daddy's hot. And the thing is, you can't call John Cleese daddy.

That's not allowed for you to do that. But she does. And they do a bunch of like very cute bits. Well, he doesn't know that she's a spy. Yes. And then she's like, oh, I woke up hospital. These are my two friends, Cameron Diaz, who's like a surgeon.

Well, the thing is, first of all, it's a lot like, you know, having a podcast and not wanting to admit it. Yeah, I'm a doctor. But the second is, first of all, it's a lot like having a podcast and not wanting to admit it. Yeah, I'm a doctor. But the second is, again... Oops, I'm an audio engineer. Okay. If my landlord asks.

But yeah, so Drew Barrymore, executive producer, big fan of this movie, a lot of impact on the script, bisexual woman, and the role that she assigns herself. And Dylan is the head of gynecology. And she gives a little look when that line comes up and it's just like, I see what you're doing here. And then later on where they have to leave the scene, she goes, yeah, I better go, I better go and scrub up. Uh huh.

Yeah. There's a fair amount of this. I have a bit of a thesis about Drew Barrymore in this movie. So now they have to go to the beach. And they're looking for a guy with pineapple surf wax. And instead, they find Demi Moore. Yeah, I, yeah, yes, yes. You're right, you had the correct answer.

The rest of you do it now. Demi Moore. Yeah! Demi Moore from such films as, shout out. What. Demi Moore. That's better. Demi Moore from such films as... Shout out. What's Demi Moore been in? GI Jane. GI Jane.

Thank you. Yeah, okay. So she's been in a bunch of stuff. Yeah, good. We love Demi Moore. She enters the movie looking like, kind of like... Well, I'm being very generous to myself. Sort of dressed very, very...

Like a black bikini and like very like... She's like, I'm definitely not the villain of this film, bye. I'm Demi Moore, I'm in this movie for one scene, goodbye. And you're like, you know you aren't, motherfucker. You're on the fucking poster. Three things you need to know about Demi Moore in this, right? First of all, she used to be one of Charlie's angels and she quit. Second of all, she's super into astrology.

And third of all, she's not going to be back in this movie at any period. And having established all three of all, she's super into astrology. And third of all, she's not gonna be back in this movie at any period. And having established all three of those, now- Well, she, sorry, she leaves this scene the way that I want to leave every scene. Which is wearing a black bikini, she gets into a Ferrari barefoot. Still wet.

Still wet and just, just drives it into the sunset. Why is the barefoot aspect part of? You fall off the seat surely. Like the upholstery, it's not waterproof, is it? Yeah, but the whole point is that it's not your Ferrari. Okay, fine. I've never really thought about these fantasies in such detail.

So now Cameron Diaz has to like- I know what he's saying. Reconsidering my stance on blondes. I forgot I wrote that. Oh shit, it really does. Okay. So Cameron Diaz and Bernie Mac are left to comb the beach, right? And as they're doing this...

Sorry. No, something else happens first, which is that Lucy Lou and Drew Barrymore realize that Cameron Diaz may someday be retiring from Charlie's Angels. And what they say specifically, this is a choice of words that really gave me pause. And again, lends to the thesis of Drew Barrymore, bisexual woman, engineers this movie. But even if she got married, she'd never leave us. Sooner or later, Dylan, you and I are gonna have to break in a new angel.

To break in. My notes say in all caps, I volunteer. Can I do it? Well, this is the thing, right? If one of us quits, then the other two have to break in a new Kill James Bond host, which- Sorry, I have to go and marry Luke Wilson. I have to go and marry Luke Wilson. So she finds a guy who maybe has the right kind of surf wax because Bernie Mac licked his surfboard. This is where I've written, let's get Bernie Mac out of my movie now. Let's get him gone. And they redo a bit from the first movie, which is we have to stop a guy from leaving

while we plant a bug on his car. So we're going to distract him by licking stuff. Yeah. Cameron Diaz goes and like hits on him to try and distract him. Not subtly. She's like, yo, the waves have really been fucking my pussy tonight. And he goes, cool. Okay. He just completely no sells it. He's just like, is it alright? She also like Cameron Diaz surfs as well, which was really impressive because like, if anyone's ever tried surfing, it's fucking hard. It's really difficult to do.

But yeah, then she licks his credit card for some reason. I guess it's a step up from steering wheel, maybe? Well, she's checking if it's got pineapple sex on top. Oh yeah, because he used to break in the house. The origin of this is he used the same card as he uses to scrape the wax off his board to Jimmy open the lock. To kill, yeah, yeah, because he used to break in the house. Yeah, OK. The origin of this is he used the same card as he used to scrape the wax off his board to Jimmy opened the lock. So that's helping him out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Somehow they get next location is the motorbike level. That's true. Mario Kart is the next level. I don't have anything in between these two. Before we get there, which is this guy as he's driving off, Drew Barrymore is like, damn. And the bit here is that Drew Barrymore's character always falls for the bad guy, because she did last time,

and it's implied to be a thing. This is a fun bit, right? Yeah, this is good. This has some implications that maybe we'll get into. But yeah, so now they have to like, actually no, because as they're leaving the scene, Drew Barrymore's character, she's so in love with him that she tries to follow him.

And her two friends stop her by grabbing her by one tit each. Which, again, I remind you that Drew Barrymore is a bisexual woman who produced this movie. This is like me writing in a bit where Abby has to put me in a choke hold. Like, you can't do this shit. It's not something you can do.

I mean, like, it's. Apparently, you can do it.. It's not so. Can you do this? I mean, like, is... Apparently you can do it. You're the showrunner, I know. It seems like you can. All right, so come back for night three? Yeah. So now they have to like go to a motocross event

for some reason, because the guy has been told that his target, Leo, is there. You just met a woman who is big into astrology. None of this doesn't register. Yeah. Um, it does come back in a fucking insane line later on, but yeah, one of my favorite lay. Oh, don't worry. I don't even know if I have this. It's fucking incredible. Anyway, we go to the motorbike level. Um, and Cameron Diaz who can drive any vehicle, uh, vehicle, is like revving up her bike.

She looked like a weird dinosaur too, because she's like, a guy kind of like gives her a look and she goes like... Yeah, I used that for the trailer that we did. By this. Yeah. Very, very unclear. The guy she's threatening as well also doesn't seem to respond in a meaningful way to that. Yeah. So then some bike assassins try and kill their target Leo. The editing of the bike race is really bad.

Well, hold on because they sign in and we get a little cameo from Pink. Yeah. Is the last for they pay it again into the bike race. Oh, true Barrymore a favor. They have to keep cutting to characters that are looking through binoculars going like, they're going around this bend. And I'm glad you were here to tell me that, Lucy, because I can't see it. Some of the bike stunts are pretty impressive. It's just you can't see them.

Like they get a bit where they like shove the guy who's going to be assassinated out of the way on his bike with another bike. Sort of like Mr. Bike President get down. And it's like, this would be, this would be fucking cool if I could see it. Mr. Bike President, the President of Bikes. Mr. Bike President, yeah, the President of Bikes. It's like the night's eye, you know? You think it's not a real job, but...

Yeah, I found out about that very recently. There's that scene from Cars 3 with the bike president. Bike angels have assassinated the bike president. It really changed America when bike John F. Kennedy got assassinated. When they drove those motorbikes into the... I don't know. What if his castle just did that? Just a pentagon in this universe.

This is too nested. Like cars in the chariots. Oh yeah, we need to get back gone in this universe. This is too nested, like cars in the chariots. Alright, yeah, we need to get back out of this somehow. There's a guy in black there. He is a black clad rider. Who could it be? He's got a shoe knife, but like, Clev! Clev!

Reverse Clev! It comes out the back! The heel Clev! Heel Clev! The shoe knife, or Clevv is an inherently lesbian coded weapon. Confirming my theory that its wielder, Crispin Glover's creepy thin man from the first movie, is also lesbian coded. Survive the missile strike by being bisexual. If you weren't here on night one, if you're bisexual you can dodge bullets. Yes, we established this.

We expanded that to missiles by the end of night one. one if you're bisexual you can dodge bullets that's yes yes we established this so the guy with the like pineapple or surfboard wax he gets clubbed he gets good yeah he gets mid-air reverse clubbed by Crispin Glover. I'm really more of a Crispin Glo-fighter. But he drops his necklace as he gets away. And at this point, the target takes his helmet off, and it's fucking Shia LaBeouf! Yeah, as a child actor! Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf!

Some of you have been on Tumblr for a long time. Yeah, he's a very young cannibal in this. Oh, no. He's fine. But also, the thin man does the creepy hair thing. He rips off some of Lucie Lou's hair, and he sniffs it, and then makes good his escape. So Kit Shia LeBeouf, he was in the witness protection program. And they take him back to the office.

And they're like, oh, I mean, yeah, there's a bunch of people who are in the witness protection program, like me, Drew Barrymore. Mm. Da, da, da. Yeah. And she has a dead name. And the dead name is kind of embarrassing.

It's Helen's ass, like Helen's ass. And first of all, imagine having an embarrassing dead name. Second of all, imagine all of your friends immediately doing bits about it. None of you will ever see my birth certificate, nor the gates of heaven. Just merciless, merciless bits. Apart from Bosley, Bosley's weirdly affirming about this. Yeah, Bosley's very nice. Bosley's an ally. Yeah.

So why not? But they're like, tell us why you're in witness protection. And she's like, well, I used to be a bad girl. You can tell because I used to wear Judas Priest t-shirts. It's the butchest a woman was allowed to be in 2003 before people got scared. And she, because she was a bad girl, she used to hang out with Seamus O'Grady of the O'Grady clan. Let me just answer the question that you're all thinking, no he's not played by an Irish guy. None of them are. No Irish person in this movie is played by an Irish actor.

We've established no Irish actors, no such thing. None. We haven't broken that ceiling yet. Yeah, we find out that like back in the day she was like, oh, I love being a bad girl. And then he's like, oh, how about this? Gets out of the car, shoots a guy in front of her. She's like, not that bad. I'm immediately turning state's evidence and turning you into the cops. So Seamus went to prison and she was then recruited into Charlie's Angels somehow and he's still alive. We cut to him immediately. He's like doing pull-ups in prison. Yeah. One thing I will say is that while she's introducing this, she goes, Oh,

we used to ride in the car all the time listening to metal and then they cut to him and they are listening to live in on a prayer by John Van Geve. And I read my brother in Christ. Viola, if you dare call this metal. So he gets out of prison. Someone has had like pulled strings to get him out of prison. And he gets given the rings and a picture of Drew Barrymore. And someone's like, don't you want to... This mysterious figure is like, don't you want to seek revenge? Go do that now. Yeah, of course I do.

And he definitely not dare me more. He just walks straight out of the prison and that now. He's like, yeah, of course I do. Definitely not Demi Moore. Just walks straight out of the prison and one of the guards is like, Oh, Grady, what about your belongings? And he doesn't fucking react. He shouted that, doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, does not give a fuck about the cool see-through prison electronics. So they have to get Sheila Buff out of the movie for a bit, thank God. And into witness protection brackets, Charlie's Angels style. My note at this point is I'm becoming very concerned that Shia LaBeouf will be in this movie.

Yeah. Don't worry. Thankfully, not so much. Because they essentially do the same bit as Rising Sun, which is like, these people aren't prepared for South Central. Yeah, so they take them to Bernie Mac's mom's house in South Central.

You can tell because there's low riders bouncing on the street outside. Nobody called, oh, Grady ever set foot in this neighborhood. Direct line. Yeah. Ooh. And we meet Bernie Mac's mum who adopted Bill Murray. Not sure how the timelines work out there. Yeah.

Yeah. That picture of Bill Murray on the wall. Sir, not appearing in this film. Bill Murray. Adopted a like 40 year old man. Yeah. Well, they probably thought it was a child I'm imagining, but. I don't know.

The photo of him is him in his forties and it's the only one they have. So they go, Shiloh, but wait here until the final scene of the film and then we'll get you back. And then they go, okay, what's this necklace that Crispin Glover dropped? Oh, it's a necklace from a Catholic orphanage. Let's dress as nuns for the next bit. Imagine wearing a necklace that contains part of your backstory on it. Stupid idea. But yeah, so they go to the...

They're trying to figure it out. Yeah, that, you know, padlock incident. I have no backstory. A two-dimensional character. My god, are you an NPC? I am at Baldur's Gate 3, yeah? I could only afford Mongolian Baldur's Gate 3. You're not in that, sorry. I straight up never got to you, I'm really sorry.

I put so many hours in a VG, I was like, I can't do this anymore. I'm happy to serve anyone who wants to trade items, let me know. See you no longer walk in Lady Sharr's shadow. I'm crouching down behind you and like putting things in your inventory. So they go to this orphanage, which is fully the Playboy Mansion, by the way. Little visual joke there. And this is largely an excuse for them to do non-fits. And this is the thing, this movie is largely about women getting their fits off.

And I respect that a great deal more than if, for instance, someone was to try and do like a gritty reboot, right? I appreciate this a lot more. Yeah, I think that would really ruin it if they were to try and do that. Yeah. There's a Carrie Fisher cameo, because Carrie Fisher owed Drew Barrymore a favor. Carrie Fisher is the mother superior, my only note is correct, yes? Mm-hmm, yeah. She mothers all over the fucking thing. Do you recognize the mute assassin from Charlie's Angels 1?

She says, yeah, that's Crispin Glover. He was in Back to the Future and... She said, yeah, we love that guy. He's our main guy. Yeah. What else has Crispin Glover done? Oh, a bunch of weird shit. A bunch of weird shit.

Beowulf, that was it. He did Beowulf. But so, yeah, he's been like secretly donating all of his like creepy thin man money into the orphanage. He's a good guy really, apart from the fact that he has a weird hair fetish. Yeah, they need to spin out a whole backstory for the Pale Man, but they only have what they had in the first one and they're like, I'm not adding anything to that. So he arrives and they're like, yeah, we found him, he had been eating roots and bugs for a couple of days. We think he was in a Romanian circus that burned down, quote.

And then when they're giving him a haircut the first time, he pulls one of Carrie Fisher's locks and they're sort of like sniffing it. So he just takes the hair off people he loves. It's just straightforwardly really good. It's great. I love him. So also at this point, we have to all of them have to get whipped by the mother superior again. It's weird that this has happened in every one of these movies.

When will it be moved? Drew Barrymore, Drew Barrymore, I see what you're doing here. Also immediately after this, she looks at a hot priest and gets the boing sound effect as if to suggest an erection. Oh, I thought the priest was doing that about her. No, the camera's on her when it happens. It's fully like, oh my God. They make Cameron Diaz

play with some seagull shit. I don't know why they sent them a car and it has seagull No, please shut down. It's only because you're in the front. Mention of seagulls. Seagulls are shit. And Gwen's like, and you have to do something. Some actual wife. Just turn the spotlight off. I had lunch with her today. She's very nice. This is why you have two girlfriends. You've got to back up. Oh shit! Oh no! Quick, press it, press it.

When they die down, get the two girlfriends in the bar. I've got two girlfriends in the bar. Alright, so one friendship, two relationships, squandered immediately over the course of the show. So one friendship, two relationships squandered immediately over the course of the show. So because she's a like, she's a, she has bird's autism. She's like, Oh, this seagull shit tastes like the seagulls from the next location. Yeah. From the port where all the Irish guys work. Yeah.

You know, the Irish guy port. Every time we cut to a new scene, we have a song that like literally describes what's happening on the screen. So now we just have like, boats in the water. Like we had like surfing girl, every single time. Thank God shipping up to Boston wasn't out at this point. Because, oh my God.

I was inspired by this movie. If that's not true, don't tell me. So yeah, they infiltrate the port as kind of like Rosie the Riveter, like welders. Yeah. It's a good fit. There is one joke that made me laugh, which is that there's one tanker docked in the port, which is like under really heavy guard and it's called Merkin.

Yeah. Yeah, a little joke for people who know what that means. Which is the name of Shama, so great. He's like dog or something. Yeah. Also, he arrives in the port with a giant shamrock key ring on his keys so we know which keys to take. And they place some pipes over them as well.

In case you're aware, this guy is Irish. Is he? No, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, he's not. We haven't yet heard him speak. Oh, we're about to. We are fucking about to.

But first. Pussycat dolls. Yeah, because they noticed that there's a bar like a strip club in the port and in 2003 everyone was really into DeSavantis and burlesque, right? So we have to do like a burlesque dance scene Yeah, and I just think it's so confected when people try and get a reaction from the audience by doing like really big stage makeup I just using this as an excuse to go for like weird outfits that you've wanted to try. Yeah from the audience by doing like really big stage makeup. I... Just using this as an excuse to go for like weird outfits that you've wanted to try.

Yeah. Hi. How are you doing? Look who's come crawling back. It's mostly me who does the crawling to be honest. We had your understudy ready to come on. But yeah, no, I prefer a more restrained look myself. Me too.

Sorry, did you say more restrained? Yes, yes. So at this point, we do the dance sequence. They do the exact same heist bit from the first movie, except without like... There's no brown face at least in this one but they steal a guy's keys with the Shamrock keyring, they steal a guy's ID. I will say this about the Charlie's Angels movies, they don't hit a race twice.

This movie is just as racist as the first one but it's a fully different cast. Yeah, just going one by one down the list. The Wheel of Fortune comes up. They've got to have had a list though of crossing. Mongolian, Irish. Mongolian, Irish, Diablo cartel, anti-Oni-Oni family. Si senor. So at this point, the big foot fetish quotient from the first movie.

Careful, whitey! So the first movie big into like feet, right? This movie big into whips and so they kind of like whip the audience a bit and whip each other. Lucy Liu whips Cameron Diaz's clothes off and I'm like mmm. Yeah, yeah. It's difficult to take sort of cohesive notes for a comedy live show about something with one hand. I hate to wonder. Oh! I was recording drops with the other one. What's wrong with you?

What my only note is that they are dancing to the Pink Panther theme, bracket sexy version. Mmm. Every song I listen to is bracket sexy version. I have a playlist. So Bernie Mac has to, like, bring them in inside a crate because they have one move which is boxing themselves up. And he does like a bunch of black Irish jokes because he claims to be Irish.

The doorman's just like, because his fake ID says Paddy O'Malley and the doorman says you don't look Irish. And the doorman is Scottish. He's just in a Scottish, don't look Irish and the tourman is Scottish. Yeah. He's just in a Scottish, don't look like a man I've ever met. You're in the wrong fucking bit of the portfolio. So the next boat over is the old Scottish. There's like one wharf per Celtic nationality. That is our demand.

So as my next note says, brackets heterosexually, let's get naked and encased in plaster together. Because that's their plan for infiltrating the thing is to get fully naked for no reason. Encase themselves in plaster as statues. Again, someone's kink. Like bust the plaster open from the inside, run around naked for a bit, then get changed. Just so you get some nude shots. It's so good because they're all sealed in plastic and they bust out of that shit like

the Pillar Man in Jojo Putt. It's really explosive, but they get changed. And so Drew's character is at this point wearing a Union Jack shirt. Impossible to not read an immense amount into this. Well, this is the thing, right? You think in 2003 this is a Spice Girls thing. I think it's in case you need to open a fight

by debuffing your Irish ex. Mm. You're going to take 1d6 psychic damage motherfucker. Like the bard is like playing God save the queen. But it's at this point that our boy Seamus O'Grady enters the movie. The movie like completely changes tone here. This is the thing right, I'll do the drop first so you hear what he sounds like. You've got a lot of nerve coming here and stealing from me.

It's... What? You've got a lot of nerve coming here and stealing from... It's like me with a head injury having watched a couple of episodes of Derry Girls. He's like... He's like pinging back and forth between Liverpool, Ireland, America, and then a little

bit of Scotland. He's like doing the full transatlantic slave trade in one sentence. Me watching so much Derry girls like dissociate and think I'm one of them. What if I don't graduate? But also despite that, like I don't know this actor is, but he gives a fucking terrifying performance. This is the thing. He's shirtless. He's jacked like Wolverine.

Yeah. This is this is the light heavy bit. And this is the sort of content warning, right? For like, I guess it was like domestic violence in general, because like most of this movie seems like it was filmed by a man named McGee. And then this sequence seems like it was done by Jane Campion because Mcgee was off sick. Because as soon as he enters the scene, the camera, all the shots of Drew are from above.

She is visibly scared of him. And when the fight scene happens, the other two are doing like wire food bullshit. And then he punches her in the mouth to the point that you can see blood. It's really like visually uncomfortable. She tries to do the like sticking her legs up to like block him trick from the first movie. And he just starts choking her. It's, it's legitimately like really uncomfortable to watch. Yeah. The way that he is shot and the way that he acts this,

it's like a fucking terrifying performance. The point they run away with the rings. Do you remember the rings? The rings with the coffins? She's having a survivor moment and they leave her. Yeah, they do. And then they run away and then they, because they're on the oil tanker and then they go down to the docks. And Seamus just like jumps off the oil tanker and just like drops 50 feet and then goes,

and like lands like Wolverine. Like I genuinely thought he'd had some kind of super soldier syrup, but I guess what they're going for is like, this is the abuse of X. This is how powerful he seems in her mind. Cause then they have like a big wall of fire from an improvised flame and he just fucking walks right through it. And I was like, Jesus Christ. It's what, and the thing is, right, if you want to map on which of the Charlie's angels we are, it's interesting that in this movie, the storylines are like, Lucy Liu, I'm having a break with my boyfriend, are we on again, are we off again?

Drew Barrymore, the entire plot of Irreversible. Cameron Diaz, I love to dance. Just, cause she's, she's having fucking trauma. She's in. The thing is, I hope my dad doesn't find out what I do for a living. Yeah. If somebody was starting a fire and they were a bit twisted, what song do you think you would use on the soundtrack for this moment?

If you just said, no imagination belongs. Smack my bitch up. It's correct. Yes. Yeah. So, but like genuinely, but he like menaces her and he's like in an incredible bit of screenwriting for abuser shit. He says, I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore.

Yeah. And it's like, fucking fucking hell where did this come from? On night two of like a trilogy of stupid movies that include like, you know I'm just meant to be I'm just here doing my fucking house of Gucci drops. You're hitting me with this shit Yeah, yeah again. We start this out with, this is what we reckon Mongolia's like, power hour. And then they're just like- Yarr horror fiddle dee dee. Yeah. J-Mongolians, all right to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the rest of it's fucking season three of Top of the Lake. What the fuck? Just one scene of like a much better and more interesting movie hits us. However, I will deflate it somewhat. He is using the traditional Irish double reverse scimitars

during this fight scene, which the curve is down. And his line to her at the end of this is, I'm gonna teach your friends, I'll be a pain. And it's like, ah man, are you? I think just hearing that, they've learned. Yeah, they've already left, I think. It's like on the one hand, right, like, abusive being like, I'm not gonna hurt you,

I'm gonna hurt your friends, and hurt you by separating you from them. On the other, I'm saying the weirdest fucking accent. So meanwhile, Bosley is fucking playing Cluedo with young Sheila Boeuf, just so you remember they're in the movie. And we get a bit more like... Is it time for the end of the movie yet?

No. At this point, we get some more John Cleese. Sadly, yes. Because Lucy Liu does a bunch of innuendo to be like, hey, we sucked a bunch of guys off. Because I'm a sex worker. Is that? The joke is that Matt LeBorg is trying to explain Charlie's angels to John Cleese.

Oh yeah. The way he explains it, it sounds like she's a sex worker. Yeah. It's so funny. They keep cutting back throughout the course of the entire next mission that we're going to talk about. And it's like Matt LeBlanc just spends all day explaining Charlie. In the most blatant terms.

Yeah. She does like an out call service with two other women and like Bernie Mac for safety, I guess. And then like Lucy Lou like comes in and then she's like, Oh yeah, we just took on like 17 Irish sailors and John Cleese is like, but then there's this really nice, but she's like, I'm so glad I'm going to have to lie to you anymore. Like I don't really work in the hospital and he does have a nice mind which goes, whatever makes you happy. Yeah. John Cleese beats the Swirth allegations.

Yeah, yeah, he does. And the guy doesn't, I don't think, but the role does. So Cameron Diaz, she has to go to her high school reunion with her boyfriend. Just imagine if you went to your 10 year high school reunion and you brought your date. Cameron Diaz! Luke Wilson is fucking winning this. Imagine if you went to your high school reunion in a dress and high heels and then you got insecure and were forced to use the men's bathroom because that happens to her in this

movie. That's, you know, a very important piece of trans feminine cinema. I don't remember why she has to use the men's bathroom. I am going to make the Cameron AGP as joke again. I think it remember why she has to use the men's bathroom. I am gonna make the camera and AGP out of joke again. I think it's just locked or something like that. Maybe it's full or something like that. I'm going through all the like buildings and like locking the women's bathrooms

to force cis women to confront their own toxic prejudices. This is pretty good. This is the strangest form of, yeah. Strangest form of Act of it. My next five notes are all no in full caps because she, and I hate having to say this Fred, she pisses like a sexy baby. Yeah.

She does piss like a sexy baby. Because the Spider-Man underoos from the first movie are back. Just the fucking Spider-Man underoos. Yeah. She's putting her knees together. She pisses whimsically. I've never pissed whimsically'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man.

I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man.

I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man.

I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right man. I'm the right man, I'm the right I have to say I haven't pissed whimsically yet. Whimsical piss tonight, mate.

Typically enthusiastic consent doesn't take the form of going like, okay, yeah. No, okay. I don't love that we're incorporating my girlfriend's responses into the show. We're placing a lot of power in their hands. And I'm used to that, but you two aren't. As she's in the bathroom pissing whimsically, two guys come in and they're like, hey, did you hear that Luke Wilson's gonna propose to his insanely hot girlfriend, Cameron Diaz tonight? And as this happens, sort of my nightmare happens,

every wall of the toilet store collapses around her, leaving her exposed and pissing. I don't understand why this is in the film. Yeah, what the fuck is that doing? Also, he doesn't propose to her. They just do a dance. Yeah, they do a sort of contractually mandated sequence. Yeah, because her B-Bod is, I love dancing. One of the bathroom guys is Kenny Bania from Seinfeld.

That's not for anyone, but I saw him and went, oh my God. I think producing a Seinfeld podcast might be like not good for you in terms of how you consume media I don't do that one. Oh don't you? Okay, okay. No, Milo does not So Barrymore quits. Yeah, she quits. She she like the Her abuser comes back and it triggers her and she's like, okay Well, I'm just gonna protect my friends by isolating myself and going to

Mexico. Yeah, she's like I'm, well, I'm just going to protect my friends by isolating myself and going to Mexico. Yeah. She's like, I'm going to leave the movie for about five minutes. And the thing is they didn't know to put the yellow filter on Mexico outdoors yet. Yeah. So it kind of just looks like a normal country. Yeah. It's crazy. She goes to like a bar in like Juarez or Tijuana and it's like, it's quite a sad moment.

She's so dispirited. She walks into the bar and a guy like slaps her on the ass. Which is in my direction. Doesn't even react. Cause yours was the nearest ass. I see, okay. Yeah, this is usually when I get told in these situations. She's about as depressed as I am though, by the way.

But yeah, so she's insecure, right? And she sort of like, she sidles up to the bar and next to her is one of the OG Charlie's Angels, one of the original three from the 70s TV series. And she talks about feeling insecure about it, and they have this little dialogue. A real angel, not someone who's pretending to be something she's not. Your past is what makes you who you are, Dylan. I don't know what that means, but okay, of course.

Dylan was under the impression at the start of his scene that she just fell out of the coconut tree. But fortunately, she understands what she now exists in a constant. Of all that she is and all that came before her. I would hate to believe that I fell out of the coconut tree. Also she gets her mojo back because the guy slaps her ass again on the way out. He's really committed to sexual harassment. I do know that it's a white guy, which I appreciate really pushing his fucking luck is that guy Well, this is the thing is the thing is Mexicans weren't on the wheel of fortune. It was Mongolians

Feel like you only have a lean over and play a drop for me when it's careful. Why? See, that's because it's the only one I know where it is. I haven't established in my mind. Well, you can give you the Irish accent one that's up here. You got a lot of nerve coming here and stealing from me. Got a lot of nerve. So her journey from like, I'm out, I despairing to I'm back takes canonically like 70 seconds.

She sits down at the bar, she orders a drink. She doesn't even drink it by the time she's like, now fucking her back boys. So the fucking FBI director comes to the thing. It's like, hey, you found both of our cock rings. Yeah. Yes. Cheers. I'll just take both of these. Bosley correctly deduces, this is the fucking bad guy.

Yeah, Robert Patrick. He was intimidated too. Yeah, yeahuces this is the fucking bad guy yeah Robert Patrick he was even in Timonate 2 yeah yeah yeah so bad guy so we gotta like follow his car and spy on him yeah which they do with the Patrick only does sequels yeah like us yeah yeah he was the sequel to Fox Mulder for a while as well I seldom get to write the phrase perplexing luge sequence. Yeah. Very, uh, I've written the phrase, this is De Beers group propaganda, and I cannot for the fucking life of me remember what.

It could be almost anything. Oh, no, shit. It's because when Dylan's doing a thing, the vision that she has, she goes, diamonds can't be made, they're only grown. And I'm like. I wrote all you can know. She diamonds can't be made, they're only grown. I wrote all you can, no, she says, they can be made and they're better. Angels are like diamonds, you can't make them,

you have to find them. And I wrote, or you can grow angels in a lab, question mark? Yeah. She's a little bit insecure about not being sex, I guess. Angels are like diamonds, there's a shitload of them in a big vault, hand trolled by the De Beers groups to artificially raise the price of diamonds.

Look it up, it's real. If you wanna be an impossibly beautiful woman, you have to have always been an impossibly beautiful woman. I will hammer a trans narrative out of this fucking movie if it kills me. She has to get like an older, clockier woman to be like, your past is part of who you are. So anyway, Robert Patrick is driving away. He's calling the villain of the film on the phone. He's still like, I'm not Demi Moore. He says a bunch of like cryptic code phrases as Lucy Liu is like tailing him on a luge on the road. Just, I don't want to tail him in a car.

Which, Cameron Diaz is tailing him in a car. Why not simply do that? Yeah, also it's the like highway from Austin Powers too. Is it? Yeah, pretty much. So he gets to Griffith Park Observatory, a beautiful location, gets up on one of the domes and is like, hey, I made it to the secret rendezvous. How's it going? Immediately shot.

Iced. He gets deagled. His pose in this is so good. He's like, we did it! And he just gets fucking shot. Straight up comedy. Really good, I say. Just like, we did it, partner. Perfectly deagled to pieces. And it's the guns angel. That's right. Demi Moore with two golden guns, looking sick.

Golden desert eagles. Sick as hell. She must have prestige to get those. Akimbo deagles? She's wearing Louis's hands as well, like red bottoms. Really nice. And Dylan comes back at this point in Drew Barrymore. She's like, I found myself in Mexico.

I understand that I'm actually based and not cringe. Must have driven fast to get back. Just in time for all of them to just get fucking shot. First of all, Debbie Moore has this insanely hard line with that, why are you doing this? You used to be a Charlie's angel. And she goes, why be an angel when I can play God? It's like, ooh, okay, I'm supporting you.

You're way better. I like you, you're the best. You're like, Oh, you're spitting, wow. And this one, she's like, are you surprised to see me? And they're like, no, we're not. And I think Cameron Diaz says typical Pisces. We deduced it was you from your astrological phenome. What?

I'm just really annoyed that they missed a chance to do a Drew Barrymore Falls for the bad guy thing here. Yeah. Because you know. I know, I know. They're doing the thing where they're like, of course it's you. Who else has all these connections and could have got Seamus out of prison? Who else can hire all these people?

And one of mine says, who else could hire a surfer as an assassin? And I really, really like that. She's like, I feel like I could do it. can hire all these people and one of mine says who else could hire a surfer as an assassin? And I really, really like that. I feel like I could do it. Is that difficult? So go down to the surf beach. They won't talk to you if you're not a surfer. They won't do it. Yeah. They have, they have this fight and then Demi was like, when I was an angel, we use guns and she just shoots them. Four straight up glocks. She uses the strap. Yeah, she. Yeah. She uses the strap. Yeah, she does. Yeah, yeah.

She's got the strap. She's got two even. Choke for the night one heads. She uses two straps on three women. Also these are the guns that like knock you unconscious perfectly. Because they all get like shot off a thing. Um, and then knocked unconscious. The next shot is the three of them lying completely dead on the floor, which is always my favorite

thing in a movie is a shot of an actor just lying completely on the floor. So again, Drew Barrymore has arranged this. So she is under two women, which if not yet, but this point Demi Moore goes to the Charlie's Angels headquarters and does her villain monologue. And she was like, I was always the best, Charlie. Really cool. Actually, he's on the speakerphone and she's like, listen, this isn't a job. We're a family. And she's mouthing along to the, we're a family, but rolling her eyes because he's clearly

done it so many times. It's like a shit toxic boss thing. Yeah. She shoots the intercom, she shoots the place up and she's like, ah, fuck you, I'm going to go rogue because I'm sick as fuck. She says, you were always good. And she says, I was never good. I was great. Hmm. Yeah, that's really good.

Yeah. All he's saying is basically like friendship non-sequiturs. Yeah. And she's just like, no selling the whole thing. Yeah. He has the exact effect of John Henry Eden from fallout. She's arguing with a computer at this point. I could only thought Mongolia. She just does Sean Connery kill yourself. And he's like, yeah, all right. So, um, obviously the angels are alive because they all have bulletproof sports bras. Good thing Di Moore didn't aim for the head. Yeah. Uh, and Drew Barrymore wakes up under two women. Also the sprinklers go off at this point, uh, drops of water, almost like raindrops are falling on, on them from above, falling on the head.

So what song do you think McGee shows? No, he does. He does use raindrops keep falling on my head. No, he does! He does use raindrops keep falling on my head. I was going to say, smoke my bedchop. Oh, there you go. Just getting raindrops down these raindrops and really smacking the bedchop. Yeah. So, they have to figure out, we're laughing more than you are, this is fun. I don't give a fuck, I'm having fun.

Genuinely. So of course they figure out the code phrases, right? I looked at the script, the next location, it's in the movie premiere that Matt LeBlanc said at the start of the film, do you remember that? They celebrate by spanking her as well, which is not sure. And then the cultural insensitivity power hour returns. Oh God.

Yeah, the boys are in town. Yeah, all of the boys are back in town. If only there was a song for this. Mm. Smack my bitch up? Yeah, I guess it really works for everything. Kind of evergreen. And they like take some keys and follow some clues and like follow a map.

And one of what they take the keys from a bellhop, right? And I go, that's Cameron Diaz in blackface. Again. And it is. Fortunately, it's only the the mask kind of blackface and not the just straight up actual genuine blackface. I guess, I guess, I guess I feel like they're different. It's the LL Cool J thing. I don't know if one's specifically better, but it's not her actual face. It is just a different actor. Yeah. Which is better. All the good guys and all

the bad guys are converging on the theatre where the movie premiere is happening. Demi Moore is slinking around in lingerie in a massive fur coat planning scheme. She's got the shit in hand. My notes say I'm always doing this. When you get evil, you become sexier. It's just a rule. You just do.

You see the progression happening here. I'm still good She's got like the one big claw as well As Seamus and his boys are getting in the lift and they look at the lift operator Seamus checks out the lift operators ass and you can see him think to himself. That's Drew Barrymore in blackface I'll bear this in mind in about five minutes. Yeah, the thing about abuse is uncanny ability to detect you in blackface I guess I've never known this to be a thing of them, but I've never worn blackface Yeah, good Yeah

Critical support Yeah, the abuser is a huge anti-hero. I haven't even had a critical support. I don't know. I suppose the point of Blackface is not to pass. It's not to be undetectable. I don't know. But the thing is... If someone take me out, shoot me.

We have a sound booth. We can get them a rifle. South, please, take me out, man. Careful, Whitey! So all of the goons go to this meeting Please take me out, man. Careful, Whitey! So all of the goons go to this meeting where the knock list, whatever, is going to be sold to the highest bidder. And all of the non-Irish ones immediately fall into the clutches of the FBI, who have been warned by Charlie's angels ahead of time and get arrested.

But the Irish ones arrive at the other rooftop above Hollywood Boulevard. There's something I really like here, which is Demi Moore. When it goes quiet, it's really terrifying. Demi Moore is like, she walks out onto the roof and all it has is like a big telescope with which she looks at the other thing and you get three different angled shots or she goes up to the telescope and looks down it and then the next three shots are just from completely different directions. Yeah, the perfect telescope. And it's like, fuck off, Jesus. They set up the telescope so as she looks through it she sees her plan falling apart

as the FBI are arresting the other people and the angels are behind her like, aha, we're still alive. We did like this. And so they confront her by doing again the little the little like sort of Karate poses and she goes, that's cool. I have three separate bricks of C4 planted around this rooftop. How would you like to die instantly? And then Seamus appears and he goes, I'd recognize that arse anywhere. Except he says it in a fucked Irish accent.

So we get like a martial arts gunfight. Attempted racism. And Crispin Glover is here. He's good now. He's come to save the day. Yeah, the creepy thin man assumes a kind of anti-hero role. Because if they kill the Charlie's Angels, he won't be able to smell their hair anymore. He's very, very functionally driven, you know,

by the need to smell the hair. He kisses Drew Barrymore. Well, see, this is the thing, right? Because the creepy thin man, he abhors the brutal sexual violence of Seamus O'Carbon. Yes. Right? In...

In... I'm tracing it with the respect it deserves. I tried to tone match you there, my brain only gave me Paddy McGuinness, but that is a guy. Racially aggravated improv. Of course he abhors his brutal sexual violence in favor of like his own genteel sexual violence. It's a real Democrat Republican situation.

And you have to vote creepy thin man, otherwise, you know, shame is on Carbone's walking in. Even though he keeps sniffing people's hair. Exactly. Think about what the other guy would do. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, now.

Yeah. So, yeah, the fight scene progresses with him on like the side of the angels. And because she always falls for the bad guy as he saves her, she goes, damn, what if we were something? What if this guy's hot as hell? She rips a fucking hair off. And then he leans back and screams again.

Yeah, she's like, I could get into this. Sick fuck it. Yeah, she takes him up his and then half-heartedly smells it and then is like, yeah. You ever see someone develop a kink in real time? Yeah. But then Seamus is back and then is like, yeah, right. You ever see someone develop a kink in real time? Yeah. But then Seamus is back and he stabs Crispin Glover. Yes, with the traditional Irish scimitar.

I know. And Drew Barrymore is like, she falls off the edge of the building, she's clinging on by her fingernails and he tries to burn her fingernails off with her trusty lighter from the first movie. This is so fucking sadistic. I am.

Where did this come from? Jane Campion back for five minutes. Yeah, genuinely. Just like, I'll just do the abuse shots. You guys make a movie, just like insert them into it, you know? It's like quietly is genuinely harrowing stuff. She gets victory over her abuser the same way I do. Throws him off a roof. Throws him off a roof. Yep. Yeah. Throws him off a roof.

Throws him off a roof. Both the creepy thin man and- That's not true. I didn't actually murder. And Seamus. The best revenge is living well, I say, coping. And seething. Listen, I'm in front of several hundred people

who will love me. It's fine. It's worth it. It worked out OK. And listen, if it doesn It worked out okay. And listen, if it doesn't work out okay, you can always drop a big neon letter E on them. And I forgot to include the drop that's the EA Games thing, except it's just E. You will have to imagine it in your heads. I do not deserve your respect.

I'm lower than skeletons. I got a stress, Seamus O'Malley, he falls down and he like lands on the sword that was already through the thin man. And then the big E hits the two of them. Yeah. And I'm like, just being like, no, this guy's dead. This guy's fucking dead.

Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, promise. At this point, Demi Moore activates the bombs and she's wearing like, it's like a, I guess like a bodysuit. It's got like trousers and sleeves, but it's also got like a sheer like capelet on the back of it. And she like, she throws up the sheer capelet and it's fucking Batman wings.

And she like bodysuit glides off the roof and I'm like, hell yeah. No, it's fucking sick. I'm so on her side. The thing is this chase scene has a complete lack of physics. Into a convert lack of physics. Into a convertible! Yeah, like complete lack of physics in a way that I really like. It's more fun than like any, like if you did for instance a grounded, realistic, Charlie's Angels, that would probably fucking suck.

She becomes the Green Goblin because she's flying past the movie premiere and she's like, ha ha ha ha, and like throws pumpkin bombs down at Matt LeBlanc and then Bosley has to like hit it with a fucking like baseball bat and blow it up in midair. And then everyone's like, oh wow, the special effects are great. Yeah. We get a long chase scene. We do have to award Cameron Diaz the Kronstein rosette for attacking the driver of the car she's in All of them separately get thrown off that car and end up in the after death pose I The way Lucy Liu hits the van when she comes off is some of the funniest slaps to go

She hits it straight up and they're like slams face first and then the next shot we see is her going through a window and Hitting like ten mannequins. And I'm like, oh, fuck, that would suck, man. I hate that. So Cameron Diaz, because everyone else has had closure, apart from, I guess, Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz has to like fight her. Has to complete her character arc of I love dancing.

Yeah. But having a, again, weirdly intense fist fight, there's a lot of of blood and drool. There are cathedrals everywhere. Demi Moore like, menaces her lesbianly, like she has the gun to her head and is licking her and I'm like, hmm, Demi Moore. She gives her a little kiss. I've written down...

I don't know, do you ever see someone develop a kink in real time? She doesn't give her a kiss, she licks the side of her face. She's probably like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She doesn't make that noise, That'd be very unsexy. Is it? Is it? Is it? I think so. I think it's generally found upon if you go like, eww. Is it homophobic that the villain is menacing her lesbianly?

I don't know. Yes. What I will say is that Cameron Diaz is in the perfect Peter Griffin death pose. Like her arm is even behind her and everything. And my second note here is after that little lick, there is a little string of spit linking Demi Moore's mouth with Cameron Diaz's cheek. Neutral statement, just an observation of fact.

Just something I happened to notice during the course of watching the movie. Yeah. I don't have the room to be turned on. Oh, you think I do? I think it would go poorly for all three of us. Um, the thing is, right. Great. Um, because she is shown like lesbian sexuality, she must be punished by death. This is really funny moment where Demi Muggles went also different and camera Diaz says, I have something you'll never have. And she's like, what's that?

And then Cameron Diaz goes, I have friends. Which is... Brutal. And then she kicks her into a flame pit. Yeah, they all three of them turn out, they fight her. And then like they kick Demi Moore through the stage. She falls through a gas pipe. So gas is being released.

And then Demi Moore like shoots up with them with her gun, which ignites the gas and blows up. Yeah. She goes out very similarly. Yeah. She goes very similarly to Richard the third played by Ian McKellen in the movie. Um, so, so we, we go back to the movie premiere where Mrs. Bosley, Bernie Mac's mom is about to adopt Sheila Boeuf. And so therefore Charlie's angels three must have sheer as Bosley because she's the kind of like Bosley generator. The Bosley progenitor. The Bosley queen. Yeah yeah exactly. They just do the like Indiana Jones way and they just like imply that Shea LeBoeuf died in Vietnam.

But it's like forget it, it's fine. But so then the proposal finally happens. Luke Wilson. Drew Barrymore is sad, he's like, oh, you know, Cameron Diaz is gonna leave the Charlie's Angels because here Luke Wilson gets down on one knee. And he opens a little like ring case, which contains, this is a trans feminine movie.

Giving your girlfriend a dog tag. Like for a dog, like a dog tag like for a dog like a dog one for a collar with the name on it that you picked out that is not hers with no notice no prior notice I'm making direct eye contact with two members of the audience. I'm avoiding eye contact with them. Yeah, because you have the room to... At least they're sat near each other, because otherwise that would be really difficult.

You have a fist bump. Nice. I love polyamory. Yeah, so. I really like monogamy. I feel like I should say that every so often. Yeah. No woo's for that, I'm afraid, Devan McGrath.

No, no, you're right to not woo it. You're right to not woo it. Shut up, shut the fuck up. Shut up, all of you. You're right to not woo it. It's the normal, it's default. But it's great. So you think it's normal. But it's great.

So you think it's normal? Yeah, I do. I believe the two of you are freaks. And am I wrong? Careful, Whitey! I guess I don't have to come back to that. Do any of us? No. So the movie ends.

I might not say it. Nobody's leaving the podcast. I mean, spy team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're staying together because they're best friends forever. Best friends? I love our family. Oh, sh... I'm not this far out of an insult is because of the mic bleed. I'm trying to keep it. We will never be replaced on this stage. Be funny tomorrow night. We get we get that sort of exploitative car wash credit scene. Yeah, what was that?

It's just like soft core porn. Basically, what was like soft-corp on basically? Yeah, I'm like really wet I guess they just filmed that we're like fuck. How do we put that in the movie? Yeah? Yeah, they must have filmed it for the montage at the start, and then we're like oh, it's too good We'll put it in the credits. Yeah, some out takes Melissa McCartney is here for some reason mercifully briefly. Yeah And the thing is right this was the last of these two movies and I kind of, I fully had Stockholm Syndrome, right, because maybe, maybe box office, because this is a box office

flop, maybe box office isn't a good way to decide what films get made. Maybe films should be about what I like and what I want to get made and films should be about lesbianism, wire work, and friendship. But you hated the My Little Clowny movie. That is exactly what I did. And we bring you a movie about friendship and you're like, no, it's about 9-11 and the Iraq war. And I'm like, no, they're friends.

Did it have the wire work? Not enough. Essential, it's three legged stores. No in fact on many points Fluddish I forgot that she could fly yeah. Interesting why didn't they just ride the equals to me. Anyway what is Charlie's Angels full thrash I'll have to say about masculinity, femininity, friendship. I feel like it's better than the first one. I do too. I don't. I do too.

It includes a weirdly hardcore bit of drama. Yeah, they've got one good scene, so that does make it better than the first one. Yeah. That's true. Sort of, I guess, by default. Yeah. Finally, someone's taking the Mongolians down a peg. I feel like the first one had a largely like men are silly stance.

This one has like a largely men are silly stance, but then also sometimes men are scary. Men are silly and they'll kill you. Yeah. Which I believe is that sort of old feminist canard, you know? Yeah, no, he fully does try to section. Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will make Charlie's Angels full throttle. Um... But we don't have to speculate about these things because we have a science-based system.

CHEERING Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump We're going to make that joke every time. It keeps getting funny every fucking time. It is funny. It's funny. Yeah, I noticed a bit before we came out, there was like a brief moment where something happened with a soundtrack, and you all left. And we were like, we haven't even done anything yet. The thing is, this is doing comedy on like casual difficulty. We were very easy, so thank you so much for that.

But it's called The Scum System. It stands for SMARM, Cultural Insensitivity, Unprovoked Violence, and Misogyny. How smaamy is this movie? Is it more or less than the last one? I think it might be less. I think it has moments of earnest. It does, and we take points off for sincerity.

We do. And it's got an alarming amount of sincerity. Yeah. They don't really get a lot of smug lines in. I think this might be. It's very pleased alarming amount of sincerity. Yeah. They don't really get a lot of like smug lines in. I think this might be- It's very pleased with itself. Yeah. I think the needle drops contribute to the smile.

That's true. I've taken points off necessarily four. I'd go as low as three. Really? That is scary to me. I think three is about right to be honest with you. Okay. Three.

Cultural insensitivity. All right, here we go. What walks in the room, point one. Let me with you. Okay. Three. Oh, incredible. Cultural insensitivity. Alright, here we go. What walks in the room? Let me give you this list again here. Antonio Oni family. Yep. In the process of... I'm in the process of dealing with these Guido motherfuckers.

Yep. Diablo Cartel. Diablo. Careful, white say. No, wrong one. Oh, si señor. Yep. The Tanaka Yakuza.

This was... Careful, white say. I guess we've got the Japanese one from the first night. Yeah, mm-hmm. The Tanaka Yakuza? This was... Careful, Whitey! Uh-huh. I guess we've got the Japanese one from the first night. I guess that's true. I guess I do. They don't call me balls out, Natalie, for nothing. Yep.

And then we've got the O'Grady clan. I don't have anything for that. I don't have a drop for... Mongolia? All of it? Yeah, walks in the movie, step one, fuck Mongolians. Mongolia is essentially like Tartuga. Day one, fuck Mongolia. Why the hell is that guy being held in Mongolia? Oh? Mongolia. Yeah, walks in the movie, step one, fuck Mongolians. Mongolia is essentially like Tartuga. Day one, fuck Mongolia.

Why the hell was that guy being held in Mongolia? Oh, Mongolian ISIS was being controlled by Demi Moore. Well, let's not say Demi, like who else would have connections in Mongolia? And I'm like, oh, of course, Demi Moore. Ah, yes. Because she's a name. Yeah, only her astrological phenome would have connections in Mongolia. Yeah, cultural incenses, seriously, is going to be pretty fucking high.

Go ahead and give it a seven. Yeah, a seven. It contains, again, it has black faces. Yeah, yeah, seven. Seven. Seven. Unprovoked violence. I mean, they do kill Demi Moore at the end.

They do. She had a gun. Again, killing the villain of the movie is not unprovoked. They have to do it. Yeah, and she was armed at the time. She's done villain of the movie is not unprovoked. They have to do it. She's done all of the things that have happened so far. Yeah. They also, at one point, like she points the two guns at them on the rooftop, they take the guns off her and instead of pointing them back at her, they do the Batman thing of disassembling

them, like having a martial arts fight. Yeah, they field strip it. And I'm like, oh, I appreciate that. Yeah. That's just because if you weren't here the first night, that is because, actually you say, because I forgot. Oh, because Drew Barrymore like likes gun control because she's a lib so there's she changed it so that they wouldn't use guns. A couple of shy libs wooing. Wooing for gun control. Don't worry, we can't get them. It's fine. They are controlled.

Yeah, very much so. I think again the unprovoked violence is gonna save it. I think it's gonna be low. Like dead low. Like two? One? Is there more unprovoked violence is gonna save it. I think it's gonna be upsetting like dead low like two one more unprovoked violence in the previous one no no no no because they explicitly reject deadly violence one it isn't one one again credible and then difficult? Again, I'm just... I hope the angels aren't being too rough on you. Man, please, I'd eat fat women. Nine, fuck you. Yeah.

Fuck you, Bernie Mac. Yeah, I mean, like the credits scene, exploitative titty shots, there's a lot of bikini shots. Doesn't have as much slow-mo, which, you know, makes it a bit less exploitative. More wifing. Yeah. It's still very like women can do anything as long as I can jack off to them. Yeah. But on the other hand, it is also like, and also men will try and kill you, which is sort of alarmingly intense nature of that.

I think we're going to take off a point for saying it's okay. Like presenting like male violence against women is bad. That feels like a pretty against women is bad. That feels like a pretty low bar. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, I feel like if you put in male violence against women in the movie, you got to hope they think I do. I do think there's a thing of like depicting it as being horrific compared to like the first one or even atomic blonde, which had like worst levels of violence. It's a tonal thing of being like, uh, you know, a man calls a woman a bitch gets knocked unconscious. Right. That's that's feminism. Right.

But like this is like grossly disproportionate and abusive and horrible and is kind of shot that way. And I think I do want to dock a point for that. I want to. Well, we gave it nine last night. So eight then. Oh, no, I'm sorry. So tell a lie.

We gave it five last night. Did we? Yeah. Yeah, I just checked. So four. It's about one. Shit. I mean, it's a science based system. So four? Four. It's about one. I mean, it's a science-based system. We can't argue.

That gives it a total score of 15, which is pretty fucking good. I mean, it's down there with the men from Uncle. You just about. This is straightforward. That's like a Daniel Craig level of Bond. Wow. Pretty good. It's ahead of its time.

They're getting better. It's 20 years ahead of its time. They're getting better. It's 20 years ahead of its time. They're getting better. Thing she says before night three, Charlie's Angels 2019. But we will see you tomorrow night for that. Tonight we have completed the Charlie's Angels two-part saga. Done. We've done it. We've killed them.

We've killed Lucy Lou, we've killed Charlie. That's a good thing for us to do probably. We've killed Drew Barrymore. Yeah. It wasn't quite fit, but yeah. Don't try to make it fit either because it's not... Honestly, honestly, I really enjoyed this one, but like, not because it was good and you shouldn't... It's a joke for in your head and leave it there. You shouldn't watch it either. In the meantime, this is us wrapping up. We have merch for sale outside. We would be greatly obliged if you were to buy some. We would be very happy to sign it.

Yeah, we'll be hanging out for a bit to sign stuff. And we have been Kill James Bond. You have been a wonderful audience. Good night. Yeah! you