Kill James Bond! - S3E22: Some Girls Do

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

This is the 1969 sequel to 1967's Deadlier Than The Male. Lloyds insurance agent Bulldog Drummond is pitted once again against Carl Peterson and his army of female agents- except this time, something is very, very wrong with the ladies... ----- FREE PALESTINE Hey, Devon here. For the past few months I've been talking to a family trapped in Gaza, working to hit their gofundme for passage out of Rafah whenever the crossing reopens. Their names are Ahmed and Layla, and their 4 kids Jana, Malik, Lana and Amir. While the crossing might be closed, the situation is changing by the day and being able to afford passage out when a crossing reopens is an immense comfort. Please don't donate money as your sole intersection with palestine organising. You have to do other things now. https://www.gofundme.com/f/a8jzz-help-me-and-my-family-get-out-of-the-gaza-strip https://www.map.org.uk/donate/donate ----- Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com

Relax the egg, Wing Commander. Relax the egg. Hello and welcome to another episode of Kill James Bond. I am November Kelly. I am joined, as always always by my friends, Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hey, how's it going? I'm in LA. Hi, or perhaps I should say hello. A movie with a lot of insane line reads in it. We are so close to being done with Euro Spy season.

This is our last like planned one. Maybe need to do some others, but like this is the bottom of our list. This is the second and would you believe last Bulldog Drummond movie. I would believe that. I'd believe it. It's fucked. I would believe the fuck out of this. Yeah, this is the last one on our docket. Some girls do. Some girls do. Some girls shouldn't have, I think. Girls do. Some girls do. Some girls shouldn't have, I think.

Mm. Some of you bitches shouldn't, you know? I don't know what some girls do. I came out of this movie not knowing what some girls do. I'm having the kind of like man from Uncle moment where I'm like, who are the karate killers? What do these women do? That man didn't have a memorandum at any point. He didn't give one in. What did James Bond do to that guy?

What did he do? What happened to him? Questions from a podcaster who reads. I, yeah, no, I have no idea. But yeah, so this is the second and last one of the Bulldog Drum and Ones with Richard Johnson. And let me tell you, this is not gonna be an episode that particularly closely follows the plot of the movie,

because the plot of the movie is confusing and poorly told. And very bad. Well actually, actually maximal I think is the problem. There's just too much happening. Yeah, absolutely. But at the same time, very little. However, they've learned from their mistakes in the first one, they know what people like, and people like hot women killing guys on airplanes. And I do. So we opened with one of those pretty good. Hard to argue with this. We get an immediate 009. Yes. We're on an airplane, a beautiful stewardess who looks like a very bewigged version of someone that Abby has never met

and that I am dating sits down next to an old guy. She bowings this guy. She bowings this man. He's in an exit row and the additional like training that you get for that is not equal to the task, right? Because she leans over, she lets the intrusive thoughts win, she pops the door. The whole door comes off.

And DB Coopers this motherfucker into the night. She sits down next to him, between him and the door, puts the seatbelt on, he goes, expecting turbulence, and she goes, no no, and just kicks the door straight open. And he goes, woof, out of the fucking place. I do also want to highlight the insane pronunciation of turbulence that he manages. Turbulence and turbulence. Actor who's never heard it said only seen it read. But like, he's not bowing to die.

He bowed dead. Like he's gone. It's true. It's true. He is bowing to a compromised... Fuck, that's nothing. I'm off today is the thing, right? Bowing to a compromise is...

Let me explain to you why I'm fucked, right? And maybe this will give you some context. I love to guest on podcasts. I do it as a favor. I do it on the slightest pretext. And so I got asked to go on a podcast called Failure to Launch about space. Hell yeah. I was like, fuck yeah.

I would love to go on your podcast. And I did. But I talked for two hours nonstop. And now I'm at a state where like the things that I'm saying are not connected to anything up here anymore. You've got to spin down from talking about something you care about deeply to talking about some girls do featuring Bulldog Drummond. The thing about some girls do is that it's an hour 47 I think and I felt every one of those minutes. Oh yeah they drag. It really is, yeah. It's a long watch.

I don't... Some of these movies will do, I'll recommend them for fun. This is not one of those. Not this one. There's so little salvageable here, and it's so poorly scripted and directed that you just end up kind of... Your brain glazes over a bit,

and you say things like you're bowing to a compromise to a permanent end. But what we do at this point, that's what some girls are doing. Some girls are sitting around at some sort of evil lair headquarters. There's a series of 10 out of 10 smoke shows and they're being presented over by this guy, Carl Peterson, who died in the last film. Welcome back to the show, Carl Peterson, different actor. Welcome back, Carl Peterson. Somehow Carl Peterson returned. The new actor isn't as good.

No, I know. No. And he's just, he's got this scale model of a, like a supersonic airliner, right? But like Concord, because this is like topical at the time this came out. And he's like pointing to bits of it and he's like, the engines or whatever. Fusilage, I believe he's... Fusilage. And then, and then like one of the 10 out of 10 smoke

show baddies, because it's all women besides him, goes and kills the guy who does the fusilage. Yeah, he's got all women again. It's the same guy, same rez on Detre, kill people on aircraft using hot women. Different setup. It's worse. It's much, much worse. In ways you'll find out, it's much worse. When he says, like, you know, I'll kill the fuselage guy or whatever, he looks, he kind of like walks down a row of 10 out of 10 smoke show women to essentially like to pick the one he wants to go and kill the fuselage guy. And I just, it just enters my head at this moment as a bit of like sort of thinking about acting. Imagine getting the role of unsuccessful at audition. Like... Ooh, hard to do.

To be like, like you finish the actual audition and they go, yeah, you beefed it on this one. Can you come back and do it again? But like, we film it. Technically, you have got a part, but like not a good one. It's gonna say I'm often getting the role of didn't make it at the audition. Like... Oh, I don't think that often, surely. It's several of the biggest often getting the role of didn't make it at the audition like oh

That often surely it's several of the biggest TV shows on right now I got the role of didn't make audition. It seems like several of them you made the role of in the thing So to be fair, I did. Yeah to fair. Hello to all you fans of House of the Dragon. We're just running this podcast Mmm, so we also we see them blow up like a kind of lab for a British atomic motor. Yes They Seem to do this in order to destroy a scale model in a wind tunnel. Yes Yeah, slightly unusual. My only note is just unclear question mark. It's just it doesn't matter. Yeah There's two things I want to note about this Which is they begin the scene as like one of the sexy women enters the thing in disguise.

Another of the sexy women is in disguise working there. And they're still a countdown. There's a guy going like one hundred ninety nine and so on. And I note down two things. I want to get that job. Yeah. First of all, when the two women meet up, they have a little bit of a kiss at the number sixty nine, which is, I believe, intentional. I believe this is like bawdy. I have a very poorly mixed drop of 69.

I'm so glad you got that. And the second thing I know is that the guy fucks up the countdown. I somehow had a kind of like pre-cog moment, right? Because when I started on the scene, I heard the guy going like 100. I'm like, they care so little about this. They're gonna fuck up the ability to count down.

And they do. The guy goes 43, 47, 41, and I'm like, okay, this is the level of like, caring about this movie we're operating on, and I will match that. Somebody's handwriting's like a bit fucked up, then somebody's sevens look too much like two. Anyway, so evil plans are in motion, and meanwhile, Drummond is paragliding in Europe. He's by the pool with a blonde smoke show and they... The return of the fucked up drink order. Yeah, well before the fucked up drink order, I want to talk about the fucked up fit that he opens the moon in. He's like paragliding. He gets out of the water and it's like the

opposite of the like Daniel Craig coming out of the water being like, damn, this guy's hot. He's wearing a kind of like linoleum wetsuit that's about five sizes too large for him and is white. And it just kind of like crinkles over him like a shower curtain. It's very uncomfortable to look at. Yeah, it's worth noting because we're going to talk a lot about how all the women in this movie find this man very, very hot. It is worth noting he looks like he looks like better part Fine, right? But like, there's no way. His face is handsome, but his face is dog shit.

I mean, we face and body differently for a reason, dog. Like, he's like, seven and then three, I think. It was borderline unethical to make movies, like, as a series featuring men before Minoxidil came out. And the thing is we said in the last one he looks, Richard Johnson looks a lot like Connery. Well in this way too there's no hair left. It's none. It's like a whisper of a memory back there. It's like real fucking bad. What's Minoxidil? Hairy growth thing. Yeah, you put it in your scalp. It's like doing wonders for me.

Writing that down. Yeah, no, this is bolding as fuck. It's fine. He's very, very hot and he's drinking. He orders a drink for himself and for his partner. Alas, by the name of Flicky. Flicky will return. Flicky. Yeah. I hope you enjoy hearing that name because he says it twice in every sentence.

Flicky. The drink is beef soup, a little bit of beef soup, mostly vodka in a highball glass. Yeah. It's called a bull shot, which is fully like a, I didn't know if this was real. I didn't care enough to find out. It's a real kind of red moco cooler situation where it's something so viscerally horrid that you can kind of taste it involuntarily. Yeah. It's like, yeah, fuck it. I believe you were drinking that kind of shit.

This man's a British spy in 1969, you know? He was drinking Bovril. I'm sorry, no, I need to correct you on something there. This man is not a spy. I'd like to remind you, this man is an insurance agent and everyone is treating him like a spy. Flicky is like, oh, like, she's just like, oh, like, tell me about your adventures.

Like you're like a hero spy and there's like women walking by the pool, like, you know, giving him the eye. And he's like, oh, they must be foreign agents. Like he's playing into this. And I'm like, you work in insurance, my dude. You work for Lloyd's. These women who walk by the thing and they're walking past the bikinis. One of them has a black eye. Right. Yeah. And she says hi to him in a kind of like sexual way and Flicky as soon as they leave goes Hey, did you do that? He's like, no, but it's never remarked on again and I just write down like the 1960s

The 1960s, domestic violence is a kind of comedy background fact of life It's enough to put you off your fucking vodka bofferil and it's never ever addressed beyond like Oh, well Bulldog Drummond wouldn't do that I guess but someone did. Is it meant to be a pop-up Bond? I don't know. Who does hit women a lot.

I have no idea. Cause he's like I wouldn't do things like that to girls like that's how I read it I was like oh they're like taking the piss out of Sean Connery's Bond who frequently beats women. I mean Bond deserves it for sure but like it's nothing that explicit. Also I'm still thinking about the vodka Bob roll. It's like Yeah, but so flicky flicky's deal is that she's you know, the kind of American character who says G a lot like yes That sort of deal. She's good night. She's married good night from man with a golden gun again. Yeah

Yeah, the same kind of like naive, ditzy, very blonde, very American. I just think, oh, this is like, this shit sucks. Meanwhile, evil plans continue to be in motion because we see this scientist guy, Mr. Mortimer, don't get attached. He's designed this like amazing new plane and he's building it for the British government who've insured him for five million pounds. That's how come Drummond is gonna get involved with this right? And he has this like suitcase full of classified notes

But as he's leaving his lab two sexy ladies sabotage his car We should talk about this guy as well right because he has a kind of affectation Where all the shit he does is like 1930s style where all the shit he does is like 1930s style. So he's got like a 1930s car he dresses like he's in the 1930s. And this movie is made in the 60s, so this is like him being a 90s guy now. Just like an aircraft engineer who's really into like Oakley watches and stuff. And James Bond movies? Yeah, fuck. What else was on in the 2000s or in the 90s?

What do we have in the 90s? I don't know. I'm too young to remember. Like some 41 maybe. There was so much shit going on in the 90s. I've I watch a lot of 90s movies just in my spare time. And I got to tell you, nothing good, nothing good at all is going on out there. Kelly releases the famous shoes video. My God. What?

I love that, I was rift on that we both remembered the video and went wow. Yeah, just earnestly locking in remembering this fucking thing. So here's why I bring that up is that I was in a club in LA last night and Kelly was there and did shoes live. God fucking damn it. That's so funny. Oh my god. It was incredible. Like everyone My God. It was incredible.

Like everyone went nuts. It was great. We just need to make a big enough impact and then we can dine out on that for the rest of our fucking lives. That's all we need. We need to be the like 2020s

version of the fucking shoes video. We already did Cars 2, like it's downhill from here. Just like we're like they're like 30 years later and people are like, do the Cars 2 thing and we're like... They're doing that shit now! We asked if there were any Euro Spy movies to fucking sweep up before the end of a season and we got at least one person say Cars 2 to us.

We can't do Cars 2 as a Euro Spy movie. There's very little Euro Spy tissue there to interrogate. You had your chance and you picked Zardoz and it was a better episode, all right? Yes, it was. It was a great episode. That is true. Anyway, this guy gets a, this car gets sabotaged by two smoke shows who like sabotage it

and then offer to like give him a tow and then tow him off a cliff. I really like how like three stooges the assassinations sometimes are. This one's very, very good. Because he refuses to be assassinated. They're trying to be like, we'll tow your car for you, mate. And he's like, no, absolutely not. I'm going to push it.

Just pull the handbrake off and let me get to work. Yeah, but they tow him up to like 100 miles an hour in this 1930s, like Austin Healey or whatever. And then let him go but he doesn't break or anything he just drives directly off a cliff and dies which I repeat to that guy yeah oh well there he goes they're kind of like both like taunting him as well and it's kind of like a rizzless version of the two women killing uh Leonard Rossiter in the last one it's just the same thing but but less inspired, you know?

The first time I see lesbian Winton kill, I'm like, let's go. Second time, that's nothing really. It's not as good. It's not as compelling just because there's no chemistry between any of the cast. Any of them. Not at all. Meanwhile, Drummond is doing some clay pigeon shooting with N. Whoa, we're skipping ahead. We're skipping way ahead because that's awesome.

Yeah, because like we skipped like three things. I'm fucking running through the notes because Abby keeps jumping ahead of me. So while he's on vacation, a guy shows up at his office to be like, hey, I have a message for him. And there is a 1960s Roomba goes completely unexplained. Yeah, what the fuck is this about? Oh, you're so right. There is a 1960s Roomba. I just wrote operation Robert failed.

The deluxe auto cleaner, which looks like a fucking trash can. It looks like something that would get like eliminated by Hypno Disc and robot wars. Round one. Doctor Who is terrified of this thing. This is the scariest thing they can imagine in 1969. I love the 1960s Roomba and the secretary who's in there who is not really a character is just like, oh, by the way, watch out for the 1960s Roomba. This guy's like, yeah, fine.

And then kicks it. This is this guy, Miss Mary. Yeah. He's he's a cookery school called Miss Mary. This man is gay. That's some of the joke. It's worth getting out across first of foremost. That's the joke. Yeah. He's his name is literally like a like a homophobic slur. Yep. Is it? Yeah, absolutely. Oh yeah. This guy, this actor, I'm trying to remember his fucking name. Robert Morley. Robert Morley. Robert Morley had a line as a character actor in this kind of like pompous, bloated, conservative English vibe. And here is playing gay. I won't say with any great amount of dignity, but it's not as homophobic. It's not as flagrantly homophobic because it might be given the script, right?

Yeah. I guess like everyone does treat him with a modicum of respect up until his untimely demise later. It's true. He is wearing an earring and one ear and the whole effect is a bit kind of Ignatius Riley. But otherwise fine. He leaves a message for Drummond, he's like, hey, get back to me with the thing. Kicks the Roomba on his way out. So now Drummond comes back and his clay pigeon shooting.

And M is like, so we've got this contract, you know, it's definitely not corrupt. Mr. Mortimer wasn't just like some cabinet minister's landlord, but we it's like a five million pound contract to build a supersonic plane and somebody is trying to fuck it up and they're insured with Lloyds, which is why you're like loosely involved. Yes, it's Concord basically. Yeah. As the clay pigeon shooting, we are sort of meant to understand that Drummond is hitting every clay pigeon, but the movie does not bother to include any kind of like shooting, but crucially, and this

is one of the biggest misdeeds, like a remedial level of filmmaking, doesn't include any shots of clay pigeons being hit. So they just leave the actors to just react off of nothing. It's one of those classic tell don't show situations where they're just stood in a line and he's going, bam, got that clay pigeon. It's one of those classic tell don't show situations where they're just stood in a line and he's going, bam, got that clay pigeon. And then he just goes like, oh, someone else has been shooting my clay pigeons. And he like asks around who it is and it turns out this this last upper tree who's been doing

it. Crucially, at no point are we seeing a clay pigeon. No. I believe she's called. Baroness Helga. Yes. Welcome to the film. Hello. Baroness Helga. My apologies. I've disres... Baroness Helga. Yes. Welcome to the film. Hello.

Baroness Helga. My apologies. I've disrespected Baroness Helga. This is the bit where I really should be going like... Hello. But I really, I don't feel it. Like, it's not that any of the women involved are like unattractive, quite the opposite, but like it's filmed so listlessly and like the acting is so flat that I'm just like,

yeah, okay, it's fucking lesbian Mr. Wynn again. It's kind of nothing. She's like, she walks up, she might as well just be like, yeah, we're going to have sex now that's the scene. And he goes, yes. And then it cuts star wipes to her in the bedroom or whatever. That would have been a better edit to be honest, complete with a star wipe. There's also another guy in what is very obviously a fake beard,

who walks up and says hello and is like, hello, I'm also involved with a competing company. I'm definitely not Carl Peterson. Nice to meet you, Mr. Drummond. Bye. I'm in the movie. Hi. I'm in the movie. This like not Carl Peterson, this kind of Count Olaf level disguise. Schmalt Schmiedersen.

Yeah, he's disguised as another fucking Scandinavian. Yeah. It's like he's some Danish fucking guy. Yeah, just like a Norwegian guy doing an impression of a Swedish guy, and I'm there like, I don't really understand what you're doing, but I'm sure this is so good. Yeah, this is like classic, like, intra-Scandinavian bits, and I'm like, yeah, cool. Yeah, just don't get it at all.

It's like sort of Norwegian stand up comic being like, now we all know how Swedes do the fucking thing with the Rokra. And I'm like, yeah. Finnish people drive their car like this, perkele. Finnish people drive their car like this and he's just fucking flicking it rally style around a corner at 70 miles an hour. He's just coming off the road completely. Finnish people love to drive a car like this and it's like dying of a bee sting in a car

you found in a garage. So post-star wipe. Flicky starts inserting herself into a situation. She enters the room the Drummond is in. Yeah. Am I intruding? Meanwhile, Olga is in the pelga or whatever's in the back. Yeah. She shows up also disguised as a Scandinavian. I don't know why this movie insists.

I love it. This was like a, it was like a micro trend. It was like a fad, like brat, right? In 1969, everybody was fucking pretending to be danish well no she i thought she was pretending to be like a russian sexy bond girl like she's trying to like she does so many voices and accents throughout this movie bizarre she's definitely doing the like bond girl bit but i read it as scandinavian rather than russian this is where the hello comes from is because that's how she like that is yeah it gets through the door and then drops the accent is like, gee whiz, are you like fucking a girl right now?

Should I leave? And he's like, yes, and yes. And she's like, no, I won't actually. He's been fucking Helga in the next room. He's also poured them some champagne. The champagne he chooses for his sex is Moet, which I think is a good choice. That's always a good sex champagne. This has been Abby's champagne corner.

I don't have one, I don't think. No, I don't. Also don't. But like, they also like, as he's having this conversation with Flicky, Helga's making a phone call in the next room and sneaking out the window, which is never what you really want the person you've just shagged to be doing. That's classic. Must have disapproved of his choice of champagne, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Wasn't served at the correct temperature. No, I'm out. I'm out. Freaking A. God, who the fuck do you think I am? I'm out. Champagne bad enough, I'm sucking to come back into the end of my feet. Oh, Jesus. Fuck this. What the movie really needed, right, was another, was like a girl sidekick, because like the

boy sidekick in the first one was kind of fun, but like the deal was oh Drummond's always annoyed at having to work with these people and I guess it would have strained credulity to have him back again. So what about what about a woman this time? Also I just think as well like she's like can I get a drink? He doesn't offer the champagne that's the champagne is for you know people having sex with. Yeah, God.

So she goes oh I will make myself the same thing that we had on vacation, which means this man had a decanter of beef soup slowly cooling on a bar, waiting for her to... It's great value. You get the picture at Wetherspoons. It's really good value. Just has that on tap. It's on draft. The draft beef soup tap. They could put it together. It's on draft. The draft beef soup.

They could put it together. It's on the secret menu. If you. Implying a carbonated beef soup. No, no, no, no. The same gun that you get the diet coke from. It's just as a beef soup button. See, I'm not seeing any sort of like water sparkling or not involved. I'm seeing pure beef soup and vodka.

Yeah. Not vodka, but it's loose. Doing a Guinness pour of beef soup. I'm notrock in the top of the beef soup. But I do want to try a bull shot because I think that sounds nice. I don't want to ever ask a barman for that because I don't know how to go in the back and make soup. This is the English madness clawing at the back of your brain stem. No, you don't. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we'll get together and I'll do a bull shot. Come on. You are in Los Angeles right now. You don't want this. It's true. Yeah. It's like it's 30 degrees. It's just the absence. You're like, I'm here

somewhere where it's like it's hot, it's sunny. And the kind of like residual Englishness is like, man, I wish I was eating some kind of animal that died horribly. I wish I was miserable. You can take the girl out of the North. If only this was worse. I don't know. What if I was eating the pies from fucking Chicken Run? What if that? Okay.

So Helga has also planted a bomb in Drummond's phone. Yes, she has. She's planted a bomb in Drummond's phone. Yes, she has. She's planted a bomb in Drummond's phone, which is not what you want your hookup to do. No, god no. I will also say, Drummond is at this point wearing, and has been wearing for the whole scene, a lemon yellow dressing gown.

Yes, he is, yes. Which is horrible. And so he picks up the phone, he's like, right, I need this like heinous bitch in my house to get a room at Claridge's. As he's about to get on the phone, he's like, right. I need this like heinous bitch in my house to get a room at Claridge's As he's about to get on the phone. He's like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait They're trying to fucking murder me He opens up his like makeup box and finds the receiver of the phone in it and goes

Someone's been fucking with my phone. Yeah and so he stops flaky from using the phone unscrew unscrews the like, sort of bit of the receiver and finds what he describes as a plastic explosive in there. And I write down, they tried to do this man Mahmoud Hamshiri style. And then, then I thought, that happened three years after this movie came out. They tried to do him Drummond style. There is a genuine possibility that in the course of Mossad, the Israeli intelligence agency's campaign of assassinations in revenge for the Munich Olympics massacre, that they

were partially inspired by a Bulldog Drummond movie and that sentence has made me feel as insane as if I had had like a full pint glass of carbonated beef soup. This is terrible. This is horrific. You're so right. Well, what have you, no, surely not. Surely no one watched this in its time or now. We're the first people to ever see this movie.

Maybe it did like numbers in Israel and a guy in Tel Aviv watching this was like, that's a fucking idea, actually. And just was like, I'll just keep that on deck. Three years later is like, all right, it's time for me to do the events that will later be fictionalized in the film Munich. What do I have in the toolbox for this one? I mean fucking like if they'd had the exploding cigars like...

We should all start getting pressed if they start doing like the DNA virus from No Time to Die. I would be pressed if that happened yeah. I would be somewhat pressed. I would be somewhat pressed. I know people who would be pressed I guess. It's true. Yeah but like killing the PLO's guy in Stockholm with like a kind of exploding cigar, you know? Speaking of bizarre assassinations, Miss Mary gets the device.

Yeah, well, so Miss Mary is like doing his cookery school, which is where we get the relax the egg wing commander drop from. And we get a bit of 1960s homophobia in a couple of ways, right? He's like teaching, teaching cookery, teaching all these like aged men how to like crack eggs. One of whom said Wing Commander like calls him mistakenly, dear lady, and then corrects himself. And it's like, oh, a big laugh. However, he gets past a secret message on the way out and then as this, as he's like dismissing the class, he's like, yeah, this is fine. Tomorrow we'll start whipping and there's a little twink in the class beaming which is I regret to say funny really funny I read that I absolutely love the faggot I know he's just there cuz it's a 60s comedy and the joke is

this guy's gay but I still love him yeah so energetic so happy to be there is it good representation no is it funny representation? Yeah. Kinda. Just feel like, yeah, this big guy's gonna start fucking whipping me. Fantastic. There's also quite a 60s joke of like one of the, like a priestess like shoplifting on the way out and it's like, oh, society. But when Miss Mary goes upstairs, there's two 10 out of 10 smoke show ladies and one of them has the device. Yeah. What I do like is that in an earlier scene, Miss Mary had said he doesn't smoke

because it kills the taste buds. And as he's leaving the cookery class, he lights up and he goes, kills the taste buds. A merciful death. And I just, I do appreciate that. Yeah. The little touches. Miss Mary has had a rough day with technology

between the 1960s Roomba and this. These are the two women, Helga and Pandora. And Pandora has a kind of 60s tape deck. She's got a thingamabob for sure. Like she fully wiggles a device at him when he walks in as if to be like, ah, which is great because I don't know what this is. It's like a Nintendo DS thing that she just like wobbles at. This is the Havana Syndrome inducer. Yes.

To be honest, they don't really linger on this. Like they try a bit of the same kind of like them both making fun of him, but like it's so perfunctory that like, surprisingly, it doesn't even get homophobic. Like, they just fucking, they Havana Syndrome his ass. They like induce him. Yeah, they point the thingy at him, we later learn it uses old subsonic, so it's question mark, question mark, question mark, and then he dies of it. Infrasound?

Whatever. Infrasound, correct. Infrasound, it's subsonic, you can't hear it, but it fucks you up. Using every channel, subliminal, liminal, superliminal. Just hitting this guy with Sleep by Dope Smoker at like 10,000 decibels. Actually, it just plays Shoes by Kelly. Oh my God. It's got some shows.

God, I said Sleep by Dope Smoker instead of Dope Smoker by Sleeper. I'm going to get killed in the comments. It's over. Shout out to dope smoker. Shout out to dope sleeper by kills. They're gonna kill me. So next day Drummond and Flicky arrive and they find that they find Miss Mary's dead and the place has been ransacked. Yeah, but they find him not just dead but dead but fridge.

Fridge, yeah. Literally fridge. Yeah. The irony. And when Flicky is like distraught by this Drummond immediately like sort of instant transmissions over and he goes like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She screams and he just goes, shut up.

It's really odd. Perfect 1960s grave counseling. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. At least he doesn't hit her. I'm trying to deal with this. It's shut the fuck up Friday. Yeah, I guess.

I don't even think he does. Like genuinely, he just like barks shut up and then just like gets on with like Investigating the crime scene. She does Normal now. Oh, sorry. So they're trying to work out why and drummond says rather unkindly The only thing likely to interest a thief around here is met is nasty gossip, right? Which you know gay man's gossip He is also a spy though. So I sort of have mixed feelings about this Well, that's a close point very close, but he's actually an insurance agent and not a spy

Yeah, miss Mary is a spy miss Mary's a spy. I thought he was a gay cooking instructor He's a gay cooking instructor using using as a front to be a spy. Yeah my god He's like an information broker, which is not That's kind of funny. I wish I had gotten that that was what was happening It's kind of grading on a curve to be like this isn't as homophobic as it easily could have been But like it's it's not not even really a curve because I think genuinely the reason they didn't is because like this guy's gay was Funny enough for them. Yeah for real Like that's the like whimsy and it just reads to us like and? We're just like yeah normal thing to be likely. He runs a cookery

school obviously he's gay. Next? Yeah. But he does have a different thing which is that he's fucking around with a bouncy ball all the time. Is that what that was? And that's one of the things that they've yeah this is the clue they find the ball and it says where next location is, question mark, don't worry about it. Okay, just move on. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And we just move on. We get some scenes here that don't really seem to follow for each other because now he goes to see Mr. Torrenson, the guy with the fake beard who definitely isn't Carl Peterson. I do want to call back to something that we kind of skipped over. When Mr. Torrensson was introduced for the first time, Drummond had a perfect like German socialization moment. Because the guy says, I have this like glider company, it competes with Concord? You must come and visit sometime. And Drummond goes, I will show up tomorrow. I'll be there.

Oh, I didn't. Drummond goes I will show up tomorrow. I'll be there Yeah, it was more of a figure is fit like, you know, I say see you later they say what time like yeah Being polite. I said I said I should get out of your hair cuz I want you out of my hair I need to be clear. Yeah, I slapped my thighs. I did this well and then got out Yeah, that was the like signal that I did. It is time for me to fuck off now. Slap well. I am clearing up the dishes after this party. It is time for you to leave now.

Goodbye. I won't keep you. That's when I ask if I could stay over. This is how I am afraid I am at all times. Literally is. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. OK. What's up?

Oh nothing. Just that may have been a slight lag. But when I was like, I am afraid I'm like this. The next thing I heard was Abby being like, yeah, you are like it is. No, it's because I own myself. No, I was talking about Deb.

Oh, thank God. OK. After my birthday party, when I was cleaning up the glasses, that's the moment Dev says, can I sleep on your couch? Always every single time. And I'm like, no, I have like, you could sleep in the bed. It's fine. I didn't want to out-cove myself. I realized I'd forgotten to set up a hotel room and Becca would not like it if I out-cove again. I want of all of the things about Becca that I love, I think one of my favorites is that she is pressuring you very strongly, like a sort of like international humanitarian organization would, to not sleep in a fucking alcove

outside. Like it's fine, it was okay even. I did it knowingly. I understand that you had that. Okay, what we're doing here, last twoimbras ago, I went up there to see the Trash Huge Live shows and I didn't book a hotel room. I just slept in an alcove overnight because I didn't have the scratch and have the money. I didn't want to intrude on anyone either, which is why I didn't tell anyone that I was going to do that. And when they found out about this, everybody in my life yelled at me.

So I've been told to stop doing that. Basically. I don't want to impose so I won't ask until the moment and I'll be like you know what I can probably just do this myself. Just very strongly know you do not have to sleep rough for a podcast live show. What if I just endured? How about that? Anyway. Maybe you don't need to anyway. So my next note just says, no disrespect to the gliding

community who I know are huge fans of the show, I know you're out there, real glide heads that you are, but like, so obviously I want to keep you on side, but I do have to say, your hobby stroke profession, it's not the easiest thing to make sexy, right? Like, it's the easiest thing to film either. My only note in this entire scene is quick question, why is any of this happening? He appears to get into a... Hang on, sorry, yeah, I need your help on this one.

So he gets into a plane. It's a glider. It's being towed by the plane that he then discovers immediately after takeoff one of the evil women is flying, which is... You would hate for that to happen. And she starts doing melee attacks to him with her plane. Yeah, she tries to ram him. Very dangerous plan.

Yes. This is also the ultimate example of a very, very, very narrow beef that I have with sound mixing, right? Which is you may have like once you're aware of this, you're going to see it in every fucking movie. Whenever you hear a plane diving like at something in a movie Especially a propeller plane. Yeah the fuck you get that noise. That is a specific thing installed on like German Stuka bombers as a part school the Jericho horn. It was meant to sound scary. It's why it makes that like whining noise Oh, and it's just applied to everything to suggest diving airplane and I mean because of World War two movies That makes perfect sense

It's also the reason why tie fighters make the noise that they do in Star Wars because fucking George Lucas was doing a pastiche of World War two movies. I just ripped that off and thought that's a cool noise stick it on a Spacecraft and he did a great job Star Wars is a fantastic property You make any decision with regards to Star Wars and a lot of people get very upset with you. George had no idea what he was doing. Oh yeah they do! They get so upset!

Yes they do! I'm in favor of the Star Wars thing, right? I just... Good? The thing that annoys me is like putting it on like a regular plane like here to be like this is the noise that a diving plane makes. It doesn't. It fucking doesn't. It doesn't really add anything. It's just something like... Hey, audience, you now can turn to the person next to you whenever you hear that noise in a movie and go, hey, did you know that that's actually not the... All of that verbatim.

It's the Jericho horn. As awkwardly as I just did. Yeah. Make sure you tell them that Star Wars is also good. Get really autistic about it. Yeah. That's good general advice, actually. Jermyn has to jump out, but his parachute has been sabotaged, but he just opens it by hand. Brilliant. Fantastic. Sick. Yeah, he like tears open his own parachute. Fine. Whatever.

Next scene, he's in a sauna. Not clear how this is connected. Question mark, question mark Next scene, he's in a sauna. Not clear how this is connected. Question mark, question mark. Star wipes to him in a sauna. And you're like, all right, okay. Everyone is fucking Scandinavian. Everyone. There's a classic sauna guy. There's a guy reading a newspaper in there. There's a bunch of guys like lounging around. There's a guy in a wiggler, which we're always positive about. We love a wiggler. He's getting information, right? The last who's doing the massage has

some information for him. Yeah, fucking like Inge or whatever, like some other Scandinavian woman. He's like, listen, I know all of you are like friends and tell each other about all of the shit that you do in Scandinavia. What's this guy Torrensen's deal? And she's like, oh, he was always going to next location, which is Morocco. He hangs out in Morocco with with Carl Peterson and Bush. Yeah, the roof. All right. And this is 34 minutes. The first mention of a plot relevant boat.

Osprey three, say your fucking prayers. Your days are numbered. You are going to explode. Yeah, that boat is not going to survive. No, no. Your days are as numbered as your ospreys. It's over for you. Yeah.

We go to Morocco, there's some racist music, obviously. Middle East music. And he meets his contact, who is a white English guy who is wearing a fez as an affectation and who introduces himself. But you can call me Butch. Can I? His name is Peregrin Carruthers. Yeah. But you can call me Butch. Can I? His name is Peregrin Carruthers. Yeah.

But you can call me Butch. Spitzmark Zuckerberg. Well, this is the thing, right? The joke here is that he's cool. He's hip in a 60s way, but too much so. And the joke is, again, translating the thing, if the 30s guy would be a 90s guy, that would make this a Zoomer diplomat. He got off the plane, if the 30s guy would be a 90s guy, that would make this a Zuma diplomat? Like, you get off the plane, Bond meets his contact and the contact like has

the fucking Zuma haircut. You forget Bond did this when they had young Q. Fuck! Is this true? That is what this is! Jesus Christ, yeah, when Q was like 007, this smart blood straight bustin' for real, for real. Well Peregrine Carruthers is a British spy who is swinging too hard to be an

effective agent in the 60s. This man is Austin Powers pre-parody. This man is Austin Powers in the time. Oh my God, that's true. He even says, my convertible is positively psychedelic. Get with it, man. And it's like, this is what they were parodying. Yeah, this is just Austin Powers. Yeah, he he was Peregrine Carothers this whole fucking time.

We just didn't know. So he drives Drummond to the fucking location in a white convertible DB5, which is kind of sick. Yeah. Oh, God, it's so nice. He's driving bad style. And as a punchline, he goes, when will they learn to drive on the left? Very funny. A little bit funny. Yeah, that was good. So he goes to this party.

Yes. What if there was an older woman who was competent? What the fuck? How about that? Revolutionary. Single-handedly saving this movie's Misogyny score. Yeah, so this is meant to be like a society lady, Lady Mandalay, right? And her deal is we see her as we come into the party and she's like a lush.

She's got this very like, I say tobacco riven voice and she gets she gets drum and decide gets her gets him into her office immediately drops that and is like, hey, I'm M from like the 90s Bond movies now. Yeah. I'm actually this is all an act ahead of time. Yeah. Bond movies now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm actually, this is all an act. Ahead of time. Thank you. Baruch is coming tonight. He's sponsoring a boat in the boat race?

Yeah, there's a boat race, I guess. Yeah, that boy's exploding too. You better believe it. Yeah, there's a murdered scientist who's the father of one of the races. My notes say, can't follow this at all. Yeah, no. Baruch arrives and it's clearly just the same guy from before with the beard and Carl Peterson in blackface.

It's Carl Peterson disguised as that earlier guy disguised as this guy with the big, frank nose. Cannot stress enough that that's true. Nobody in the party is like, bro, why are you wearing blackface at the function? There's too many layers of disguises. Can't impress the party enough that that is a real description of what's happening in the movie. Party foul, like Justin Trudeau arrives. Technically brown enough, but that is a real description of what's happening in the movie.

Party foul, like Justin Trudeau arrives. Technically brown face, but like... He's a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude, it's over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he goes up to Drummond, and Drummond is like, you're fucking Count Olaf, I know it. And Baruch immediately gets shot. Just like, fuck you! Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And so, oh. By, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, by hell. Classic moment. The older woman also gets shot, I think, but it's not on screen. Question mark. Yeah, I called her Mrs. Karen Bay. She gets shot. RP Lady Manderly.

Yeah, she goes out like, heroically or whatever. And then Drummond is like, you have me at gunpoint, however, I recognize that pistol. It's a fucking stolen bit from the Connery movie from Dr. No. Yeah, that pistol's too girly, all of them. Yeah, the pistol's gay. And then she flees the scene on that. Meanwhile, Kruger, who is the guy who's the son of the murdered scientist from early on, is fixing up his boat.

Introducing the last scene. Yeah, it's not really clear how any of this is really like fitting in, but also that Pandora arrives and hits him with the fucking device. Yeah, she devices him a bit good. Yeah. Because she's like, my boss wants the boat and he's like, I don't want to give him the boat and she's like, interesting, look into the device please. And she devices him.

Yeah, she thinks, oh, this guy's hard as hell, it's over. He does. look into the device please and she devices him. Yeah, she thinks, oh, this guy's hard as hell, it's over. Yeah. And when Drummond and Butch arrive and find his corpse, Butch firstly says, thank heavens he's not British. Another good diplomat joke. That's two now. Not enough for Spongebob to deal with diplomat stuff. And like Drummond figures out that this boat,

the reason it's so good is because it has an infrasound emitter on the bottom that disrupts the water molecules and makes the boat slide faster. It's like, oh, OK, they're using this to cheat somehow. And I guess he must have been murdered by infrasound too, because it wiggles your molecules over there. What if for some reason we decided to use his boat in the race? Yeah. Again, I didn't imagine before this movie that you could shoot a power boat race in

a way that was boring. You can. They really do. And you know what? Good on them. That must have taken some real effort. At this point, I stopped looking at what I was seeing and just started looking at what I was seeing like lights wise.

And I was like, ah, the vibrancy of the blues and yellows on this print looks fantastic. Every frame a painting, but like the movie's dog shit also. They wasted film to make this, but like it's shot like so listlessly. But yeah, so the two girls show up in another powerboat and fire a shitload of tear gas at Drummond and Butch. Yes. There was a gas. Love a gas. Pretty good.

Love a gas. Love a woman in a bikini and a gas mask, I guess. And then they get captured, obviously. Drummond does the kind of like fake out thing where he's like, maybe I won't get captured because I'm going to drive the boat really fast and still gets captured. No point to it. And finally, we are taken to Dunuim Mo Island, the island of smoke show baddies, where somebody's going to explain what the fucking film is about.

Yeah. God, soon. They have a perimeter garden, an orange bikini and orange strappy sandals posted every five meters. Every single one is at like 10 out of 10 smoke show baddie. One of them is an uncredited Joanna Lumley. What? For real.

Uncredited cameo in this movie. Joanna Lumley in a fucking bikini. And again, the boots would drive me lightly insane. Wow. Oh my God. Yeah. That's crazy. Hell yes.

Fantastic. So they get captured, they get led onto the island. Drummond does the bit where he's like, is gonna order a drink, and there's twins who are bartenders. Give me that beef soup. It's like, you, get me some beef soup, the other one, you, get me some vodka. Yeah. At this point my brain is so melted that I discover that I've written down, me seeing

any two women well well well if it isn't the blowjob sisters. I don't know what I meant by this. I sure hope it is. The trimming or something? Is that what that is? Pussy frotting. Oh no. Yeah that's the joke that was. Oh fuck.

That's the joke. The Sizzorcist. Fuck. Sizzorcist is cover band called the blowjob brothers. Let's get together. Let's figure something out. That's a better idea than any of the jokes I wrote for this. I was gonna say because this movie doesn't have a budgie the bad guy doesn't have like

a doom fortress in a Volcano, it's just a hotel. Yeah, pretty nice hotel. It's just a nice hotel. Yeah, it's pretty nice. But it's a so The way that Carl Peterson decides to introduce himself is possibly the funniest way I've ever seen Which is he like shows up when he's like in a room still in the brown face makeup, still with the like fake gunshot wound lying completely dead. And then when they go to like revive him, he tears off the brown face makeup and the false nose and goes, surprise motherfucker, it was me, Carl Peterson all along. It's not even that. Like he reveals himself as the previous guy he was disguised as. So he like

Yeah, precisely tears off one level of disguise like a layer of an onion. He goes Mr Drummond, what if I was white? And he pulls his turban off to reveal sort of like a blonde wig and Drummond goes, I fucking know that's you, Carl. And he like, Carl pulls off the blonde wig and goes, fuck. Everyone groans at my shit. God damn it. Yeah, he's so upset that Jumper just figured this out. Everyone hates this fucking guy. It's perfectly the Auntie Donna I was just trying, like introducing a new character bit.

Yeah, just trying a new look. I was just laughing at it. But then we do get a reveal that's actually good, because Flicky comes in with a gun. And it's like I'm on Carl Peterson's side and have been all along. I was like, oh, okay. I'm a devil agent. Okay.

She finally gets a good fit off for the first time in the whole movie at this point as well. That's what turning evil does for you. So of course Carl Peterson's like, right, I'm going to explain you my evil plan. Yeah. Yes. I'm going to blow up the Concord because when it happens, I'm going to make a bunch of money through like insurance or some shit. That's the reason you're here, right?

However, you may notice all of my guards are incredibly beautiful women. You notice the women, by the way. Yeah. The reason why this is so is because these are like... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Can we talk about how this is revealed? Please. Please. The floor is yours, my love. They have dinner. Peterson is dressed as the Duke of Wellington for some reason.

Yes. He starts talking about Napoleon and they go, like, about how cool Napoleon was, and Drummond's like, well, you're dressed as the Duke of Wellington, and he goes, yes, I don't back a loser. Which is quite funny. I like people who win the Napoleonic War. And they have a flambé chef. They have a 10 out of 10 flambé chef who's like cooking for them.

And she sets herself on fire. Like just her face just combusts and she doesn't even fucking flinch. And like Drummond picks up something, I'm assuming a big pot of beef soup, and like chucks it over and puts it around. And she just says, thank you. And Peterson goes, they're very well trained. Yes. Then we slowly get they're very well trained. Yes. Then we slowly get this, this fucked reveal.

He goes, you're aware of like prosthetic legs, prosthetic arms, things like this. You're aware of, for instance, a prosthetic nose, like the one I was just wearing. All of these women have prosthetic brains. Now you might think that that's an extreme thing for me to do, to have lobotomized this army of slave women. However, one time I stayed in a bad hotel. That's true. He says that he says the service wasn't good enough. What if I had an army of slave women? So like, Oh, you can't find the service. So so I enslaved a bunch of women. I stayed in a bad hotel last week. You know what I haven't done about it?

Enslaved any women. Like I just- I didn't even stay in a hotel and I haven't enslaved anyone. I was in the alcove and I didn't enslave anybody. Not the fucking alcove! I've received some bad service in my time but I've never enslaved anyone about it. This is a movie about being transgender because as he's revealing that these are, if not like outright fembots then kind of lobotomites, old world blues style, he says Once they've been fully trained and programmed you won't be able to tell the difference between my girls and the common or garden variety. All of my girls are parsoids, Mr Drummond. A couple of days ago, the Killjuts 1 Highlights channel posted a video in which we used the phrase commoner garden white boy four or five times, and someone in the comments

critically misheard what we said and thought that we were so aristocratic that we were using the phrase commoner garden to refer to like normal stuff. The commoner garden white boy. The commoner garden white boy. The commoner garden sparrow or something. Do you send in the commoner garden white boy Willie? And I would like to announce that I will be picking that up. I will be saying that that's my new nowadays. OK.

Commoner garden. Write it down. The commoner garden. I might say it on accident, you know. Aristocracy is a hell of a drug. Thank you. He's been drone-ifying these women. He has. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And as he's drone-ifying them, he's like, check out this one. She's stupid and not good at being a robot.

This one's dumb. Which is a strange thing for a robot to be. She's also kind of ditzy. It's kind of played for comedy. They all have numbers instead of names. Yeah, instead of names. It's real bad. Like, yeah, this is this is number number seven. You may recognize, however, number nine, robot number nine is Virginia North, who was also Brenda in the last movie.

Yes, I did notice Brenda. They lobotomized Brenda from the last movie. It's a damn shame. She was my favorite part of that movie. And she got lobotomized. I know. I can't believe they lobotomized her. We'll never get that Dilf cock now. Now, you might be wondering, what will our protagonist do to reveal that this man has an army full of lobotomized slave women,

all of whom must have been real women that have been kidnapped and lobotomized? He seems to not care that much. He sort of goes, cool, and then carries on. The vibe is a little bit like if you're an adult and you're meeting another adult friend and they said, hey, check it out, I've got a scale X trick. You're like, Right, neat.

Anyway. Cool, I guess that you have that. Check it out, I've got an army of slaves. You say, okay, cool, man. But what about this plane? You know, I'm an insurance agent. I don't give a shit about the slaves. Yeah.

The slaves insured. Are they insured with Lloyd's? Because we've insured slaves before. Do you need slave insurance? Grindset as an insurance agent is tough because you've got to have your mind on other people's money all the time. Yeah. So they're like, all right, now we're doing shagging lessons and one of them tries to

fuck Butch and much like me, not as successful at fucking Butch as she would like. Very good. That's completely reasonable. And I wrote down, Butch Paragon, for the love of God, this woman is lobotomized. You just found out. You just found out. That is a consent issue. And in fairness, he doesn't want to

fuck the lobotomized woman, but it's because he's like scared of sex because he's not gay, but like a pussy. As the movies take, like his mom wants him to like, you know, not fuck before marriage, I guess. I will say that Pandora's ostrich feather negligee is amazing. Yeah, okay. Yeah. 100%. I did once have sex with somebody who did in fact have an ostrich feather negligee is amazing. Yeah, okay, yeah, 100%. I did once have sex with somebody who did in fact have an ostrich feather negligee that looked very much like this and it is incredible. For the second time in two movies, which is weird that it's happened twice, Carl Peterson is like, hey Drummond, can you like fuck a woman in front of me while I watch? Yeah, what is this shit?

I don't know. Drummond is trying to seduce this woman and he gets disappointed in a way I'm very familiar with because she goes like oh, oh, can you top and he says I must say I Didn't expect to find something as simple as a switch They've all got fucking off switches cuz they do yeah, And they're controlled by a central microphone, that'll fucking become important. But anyway, Drummond sneaks out of his bedroom in the middle of the night, and he uses the control microphone to make the guards leave him alone. Once again, for the nth time, they send in Helga to fuck him before he gets killed, as

the traditional, like, oh you're about to. So like have sex with a woman thing. And not only does he leave, he takes her clothes. He steals a fucking underwear. Like smart. Yeah. What? He's like, that's the Noshesh Fetunagel. I'm fucking having that. That's great. You know how expensive those things are?

Bulldog drummed AGP. Fold it up. You can sell that. They're pretty valuable. Anyway, so he meets Flicky down by the boats. He's like, actually... Skyrim protagonist? I'm CIA and have been the entire time. I've merely been pretending to be a dumbass.

Really good. Love this review. In many ways, the CIA double agent thing is a lot like the kind of nested brown face. Yeah. Of Torvaldsen or whatever his name is. Yeah, no, I was pretending to be Scandinavian. She's like, I am a real spy, not a fucking insurance agent. Yeah, no, I actually have a reason to be here and it's to do with like the women. Yeah, the slaves.

You know the women bulldog? Are you familiar with the... Same, I'm often saying that. Me arriving at any function. Are we talking to security guards? I'm here about the women. Look, look, look, look, look. I'm here about the women. Look, look, look, look. I'm here for the women. We find out how much money this is being done in favor of getting, which is eight million. Carl Peterson goes, I'm going to get eight million dollars out of this.

I might not say that. I think you can make that just with the hotel. In 1969, it was more money, I guess. You've got a nice hotel, dude. Like you don't have any staffing costs. Yeah, but like, how much did you spend on the bottomizing? Because like, was that part of, is that part of what you've done in order to do the plane thing or did you just have them on hand? He just did that for fun, I guess.

The infrasound tech, you could rig boat races, like, I don't know, whatever. Yeah, he said said oh god. Helga captures Flicky but Drummond escapes and robot number seven who he was nice to like doesn't report him in like lets him go she's the defective one. I should also note at this point that Butch fucks a lobotomized and possibly robotized woman. That might be where my note Butch Peregrine for love of god that is a lobotomized woman is from. Yeah. Yeah. He has to be like seduced into it by her.

Yeah. I guess he's a fan bot. His awesome powers I guess. It's uncomfortable on a couple of levels. It's really bad when you realize that the movie doesn't care about the women. No. When they reveal that they're all lobotomized and like nobody even sort of raises an eyebrow, really.

That's when you're like, oh, OK. That's going to get a lot worse soon. Yeah, it is. But anyway, Peterson like starts sabotaging the launch of this plane and he's watching it on this like big bank of monitors. Somehow he has cameras both inside and outside the supersonic plane. I'm like, how have you done that? My favorite part is that his plan is to make plane go up, Mr. Bond.

And then, not sure, like not the coming back down again, not considered, not even part of the point. He's just going to make it go up. He starts it going up and then he says to Drummond, the phrase, that plane is supersonic and our device is subsonic I've disabled them completely those are two different things you dog cunt those have nothing to do with each other piece of shit I'm deeply bored you're just saying things yeah Drummond fucking repels up the side of the hotel yeah fights two guys uses the thingamajig, the fucking Havana syndrome device to...

Can you tell I didn't enjoy this movie? To blow up the control room, saving the plane, killing Peterson again. Peterson's dead again. Yeah. For real, maybe. Yeah, uses the microphone to turn the fembots on each other apart from number seven. Yeah. Peterson doesn't rescue these women, he orders themots on each other apart from number seven. Yeah. Peterson doesn't rescue these women, he orders them to kill each other.

Yeah. My notes say monstrous. Yeah, no. Full no survivors doctrine. All of these innocent kidnapped and lobotomized women just get fucking wiped out. No problem. Not mentioned again. That's canonically how Brenda dies is like in a sort of like battle without honor and humanity against other lobotomized women. Well, to be a fly on that wall. Regardless.

Yeah. Number seven survives and brings him the Infrasonic box. At which point Flicky does some more like reverse double backflip brown face reveal. Hell yeah. I love this. She's cooking. This is my favorite part. I love Flicky so much. She's like, I'm not CIA. I'm KGB. Give me the infrared sound box. That's why she didn't sound American at all. Yeah. A later movie might have this woman get killed or something, but instead what happens

is the fucking Butch Peregrin goes, holy shit you speak Russian so do I and then defects to the Soviet Union. Yes. Gets on the boat with her and they both leave. And they win. He defects for pussy. He becomes communist for pussy which is it's not the best reason to do it but I'll take it. I'll win when you get it like. Yeah it's pretty good. We'll recruit. Really recruit really yeah good and they get away that's a roger maul level of like comfort with the soviet union you know and hued rubbent bulldog drummond because he's not a spy he's just an insurance agent the plane he's done his thing he just lets that shit go he's like whatever take the secrets i don't give a fuck yeah i'm going home

i'm gonna fuck this lobotomy sorry but like the United States is not insured with Lloyds. Can't do nothing. Your policy does not cover this. Well, actually, number seven is revealed to also be a double agent who doesn't have a switch on the back of her head. And I guess she was actually CIA or whatever. Oh, thank God. Yeah, whatever. Me going over to your house to see what video game consoles you have.

I must say I didn't expect to find something as simple as a Switch. Ah ha ha ha. Thank you, yeah. I'm just amusing myself. You're amusing me too. I'm just having a great time. Yeah, he snogs number seven and then this hotel explodes. It's over. Yeah then this hotel explodes. It's over. Yeah, the hotel explodes.

The boat is fine. I'm fucked. My rubric is over. It's fucked. I got nothing. We don't have to simply say that this is one of those boring movies I've ever seen. We don't have to say that Euro Spy season has to continue for a bit more while we get the art for robbery season so suggest things to us. The art's not quite done. I want us to watch Alphaville, there's a few other things that we can watch for Euro Spy

season and then Insula very soon we will be on to robbery season. But what we do have to say is that we have a science based rating system and that science based rating system is called the SCUMM system. It stands for SMAAM, cultural insensitivity, Unprovoked Violence, and Misogyny. How smarmy is some girls do? I don't know. He doesn't have as good, like, he doesn't have good lines the way he did last time. It's weirdly like, because every single one of his lines misses.

Like, it's not for lack of trying, but they all miss, like, to be like, did you wanna drink some beef cocktail with me? I do wanna try that, I do. Abby. We're gonna have an intervention on you, but that's fine. You have to be in the country. I think we might have found the only way of diagnosing prion diseases. Yeah, he doesn't really have a lot of like lines or yeah his seduction is kind of weak. No nothing really. Like last time he doesn't really

shag until later in the movie he turns down the opportunity to shag the masseur massage therapist. He fucks Helga twice but it's pretty listless like I think listlessness is the overwhelming like energy from this film it's pretty listless. Like, I think listlessness is the overwhelming, like, energy from this film. It's like, not just lack of budget, but like, lack of investment in the other sense. It doesn't care about any of this. Four? Four, yeah. Four works for me.

Cultural insensitivity. Literal, brown face. Oh, I just found out the guy who plays Carl Peterson in this one plays Tanner in For Your Eyes Only. Oh, shit. Damn. Oh, so he does. Jesus Christ. Yeah. James Filias. James Filias, yeah.

Did even know. Why don't you use the identigraph? I knew I recognized his voice. It's the identigraph guy. Why don't you use the identigraph? Yeah, he has that weirdly intense way of saying shit. I got to do something very experimental here and play a sound clip out loud from my phone. So, oh, Jesus Christ, take that out of your hand.

I'm going to turn off your little toy. Stop taking on the step and I'll kill you. I really like stop taking on the step and I'll kill you. You're kidding me. Just really I'll provide you know what? Actually, why don't I provide you a real clip of that for the fucking audio and you can make that one sound better, man. Thanks.

And then cut me saying that. Stop taking another step and I'll kill you. Why haven't you used the identigraph? Yeah, no, cultural insensitivity. Yeah. High. Brownface. Yeah.

Huge. Brownface. Full on brownface. Racist music in Morocco. The fact that nobody in Morocco is a character besides white people or like a white guy in disguise as a Moroccan. Mmm. Mmm. Five?

Fuck this. Five, yeah. Pretty high, yeah. Unprovoked violence. Yeah, the thing is a lot of his unprovoked violence is against women, so we'll probably end up talking about that in a second here. He doesn't really shoot first at any point. I will say that about Bulldog Drummond.

True. He barely even carries a gun. What I will say is that is a consequence of him having absolutely no fucking initiative and no character. But like, he doesn't do unprovoked violence, so that's a low score. He allows Peterson to die at the end. True. At least the villain of the movie, it's a free one. You're probably gonna kill that guy. Yeah, he's gonna kill all the people on the Concord or whatever.

Yeah. James Villiers Wikipedia page is a really sad personal life section. Oh, it might be like a one even for unprovoked violence. It's going to save it. But I think probably this is going to dammit misogyny. Misogyny. Well, so the enslaved women isn't a problem for the movie. That's fine. That's normal. Yeah, don't clip Devin out of context saying that that's pretty bad. I don't love it when someone enslaves women. I don't think that it's a good thing to do. The hero of the film

does not save them. In fact, he kills them. Yeah, the correct response to discovering a bunch of enslaved women is to have them kill each other, I guess. Beyond them, you get a couple of roles that evince competence. Lady Manderly gets to be M decades before any of the Bond movies would do it. And Flicky kind of gets to be like it's at the last second because she's annoying sidekick in 99 percent of the movie. And again, I always feel with retcons that if you're like, oh, by the way, actually, she was like, cool, this whole time.

Don't you feel like a dickhead? Always is a bit like forced and like doesn't. It's like, no, no, not really. I work with the information you provide me. Yeah, no, I just watched the movie. Like you show me this. I'm sorry I didn't crisp and potato snack this. We didn't really mention it, but like Flicky is often like child brain and like she whines and behaves like a kid. I can't in good conscience give this less than seven. I think it has

to go into the punitive zone for the female slaves. It's genuinely unbelievable because like the last time we had the organization, it was all women. They were just like employees. And there was no reason for all these women to not be employees in this one. Yeah, they had more like personal misogyny in the sense of like, oh, this one's like sex mad or whatever. But like, I guess that's hard to incorporate when you're a robot.

Yeah, it's definitely like, this one's stupid. Oh, the fucking like, oh, this one's also a robot, but she's dumb. It's like, wants me to take it to like a nine, you know? Yeah, nine or ten, all right. Nine? Fuck it, nine. Nine. Nine.

Nine, whatever. That gives it a total score of... 19. It's pretty rotten. Okay. This was dog shit. The scores were low because it didn't do anything, particularly. It doesn't do anything, it doesn't try anything.

Yeah, Unprovoked Violence saves it once again. Yeah. Really sucked to watch. This is why Deadlier Than the Mail got a sequel and some girls do didn't, alright? They just didn't put the fucking time and effort in. No source, it's over. Eh. Some girls shouldn't have.

And we're done with Bulldog Drummond. We never have to see or think about him ever again. Cool. If you said the name Bulldog Drummond to me in two months time, I will not fucking recognize that. I won't, but I'll just have a strange inexplicable craving for beef soup. Can we go for some more beefs? Sometimes I think that we as a podcast are too British.

I think it's because it's lunchtime over here and I'm just hungry. OK, well, thank you for listening to the podcast. Thank you to my co-hosts for being on the podcast. We've never done that before. I love being here. Yeah, I've journeyed because I've never, it never occurred to me, which is very... Yes, I've had a great time. Oh, well, I'm really glad.

Thank you for being here. No, it's been really nice to hang out. Yeah, of course. If the people want more of you, where can they find you? Here. Oh, I don't know. It's always a pleasure to come on and yeah, here. More specifically, we have a Patreon, patreon.com slash KillJamesBond.

You go there, you can buy bonus episodes It's a really novel method of delivering a podcast the next one of those is I believe gonna be cruising which is your pick Devon for loosely pride month, which is not a month and Yeah, after that I'm gonna pick something gonna pick something queer So how you gonna be a good time and then I would I would also like if you're like at us on Twitter at Kill James Bond with your suggestions for Euro spy movies that you want us to watch that we haven't covered because I know

there are gaps and we need to like fill some time while someone very talented paints very hard. In the meantime. I'm so excited about that. Me too. I can't wait. One last plug, I guess. I'm so excited about that. Me too. I can't wait. One last plug, I guess. I've for the last month or so, I've been working with a Garzon family to help fundraise for

both the Rafa Crossing and now just living expenses. You can help contribute to that in my GoFundMe is in my pinned tweet and it'll be in the description of this episode too. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Perfect. All right. Thanks so much. Bye everyone.

Bye. Bye. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. I hope the Pinewood Studios suffers Mesmer's Crusade. Fucking ASAP. You know all the upcoming episodes because you just heard them, you know all the plugs because you just heard them. So I'm here, I guess, to say if you do subscribe to the Patreon, first of all I'll be very grateful, but second of all, if you subscribe above £15, not only will I be more grateful, obviously, it's a linear scale, but you also get your name read out on the podcast. And those fucking beautiful subscribers are

GildedDragon. I've just been fighting you in Elden Ring. LoweBjornsta, I am thinking about Elden Ring a lot. LoweBjornsta, DeckhandyFoxfra, Aloysius, Gustavo, Lyra, Jack Holmes, Jordan, Gamny. I'm getting my way through this list so that I can go and play Elden Ring again. I just want to be clear. I'm going to rip through this list so that I can go and play Elden Ring again. I just want to be clear, I'm gonna rip through this fast and turn the computer off. Mike Berg, Hannah Oberhart, Nick Boris, Jason Harga, Nata Mori, George Rohat, Kentucky Fried,

Cormie Dronelover, Yarik, Melody Moro Gonzales, Labor Delenda S, Jay Martindale, Tripp Top, O'Jonathan Gerd, Max Gaiman Hart, Mothman, Jack Drummond, Beefcrime, Kit Devine, Library Hitman, Stazzy Kins, Lyndon Rose, Anne Hedonia, Mae Victoria, Rolf Rosey, Can't Fail, Anya Top, Science Daddy, Artemis, Beth Lucy, Stab Forest, Elle Novelle, Emery, or maybe Emery, I Can't Decide, Bar for Sex, Crime is a Project, Project Whitney Wolverine, Claire, Loretta Mazur, Themphatal, Joyous Uwu, Touchable Tip, Zan Hutchins, Just The Worst Ash, Not in Florida, Hell, A.R., Designated Hater, K.N., Bella Donna, La Nina, Skeethaj, Trans Comma, Salsasha, Some Sort of City, Canadian Creature, A Trans Robot, Steve Widdish, Ins, Akira, Mia, Violet, Cybra, Annie, Ruby, Rope Trick, Clarification,

Bronin, Alex, Noblesse, Oblihy, Connors, Cool Big Sister, IsopodGal, Mustard Cultist, Woolscott, Liz and Ash in Florida, Corvid Cultist, John2089, Seng Chen, Lady Arianne, Clairvoyance, Quinn, Valeri, Philippa Smith, Normal Again, Wolfie Is Normal, Robert Greensmith, Abigail, Mega I'm gonna go and play Elden Ring, goodnight.