KILL TONY - #623 - BRIAN MOSES + MATTHEW BROUSSARD

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, this is RedBan and you are listening to the Desquad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at Desquad.tv. If you want to check out our merch, go to shop squad.tv for Desquad merch and tour dates or go to Kill Merch for all the Kill Tony merch, including posters, hats, shirts and hoodies, Kill Merch.com. ToneHinchCliff.com is on a huge tour right now, so check out his website to find more information that's ToneHinchCliff.com. I have a brand new comedy club.

Starting point is 00:00:41 It's next door to the mothership. It's called the Sunset Strip Comedy Club, you can check out my secret show every Thursday at the Sunset Strip or go to SunsetStripATX.com for more information. And now here's a brand new episode of Killtony. Hey, this is Red Band, coming to you live from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kale Tony, get up for Tony, that's play! You guys ready for the best fucking day to your lives or what? E-M-E! How about a hand for Red Band everybody? Oh my goodness, we get to do it again. This is the number one live podcast in the world

Starting point is 00:01:42 My goodness, we get to do it again. This is the number one live podcast in the world. Brought to you by Jull Blaster, the Red Rose, Yellow Rose, CM Smokehouse, Connect Mobile Health, which can give you IV drips when you come into town. Hit them up at cmhus.com and Screwball Peanup Butter Whiskey, which presents to you the best damn band in the land. That's the Kiltoni band, that's the great Michael Gonzalez on the drums.

Starting point is 00:02:06 Paul Deemer on the horns, Matt Muleing on the electric guitar, and this is indeed the one and only, the anomaly, demaddeness on the bass guitar. We have a lot of fun things in store tonight, but before we start, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made tonight's episode available for you right now. Hey all, it's official, it's announced, it's out there. My largest stand-up tour of my entire life. Oh, the biggest theaters in all my favorite cities. Toronto, Canada, Royal Oak, Michigan, San Antonio, Texas, Chicago, Illinois, Charlotte, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia,

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Starting point is 00:03:15 Come see the crazy Texas fucking standup that I've been working on. You're not going to believe it. Let's have some fun. Hey, this is Red Band, and if you don't know, I now own a comedy club. believe it, let you have to go to SunsetStrip ATX.com to get your tickets. Hey y'all, Fall is right around the corner and hello fresh is here to help you plan for the busy season ahead with tasty dishes delivered directly to your door. Simply choose your recipes and pick your delivery date. Then lay back and enjoy the last days of summer.

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Starting point is 00:08:51 That's zipix2thepix.com promo code Kill Tony 10. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Zip more, smoke less with Zipix toothpicks. Who's ready to start tonight's show? Every week, two of the funniest comedians in the world on the show, this week absolutely no different. I've been working with these two gentlemen for 16 years continuously. Comedy store royalty, paid regulars, legends of roast battle. Makes a noise for two of my favorites Brian Moses and Matthew

Starting point is 00:09:26 Brossard everybody Yeah, this is the creator of roast battle Brian Moses former comedy store employee We work together forever that is the great Matthew Brossard brilliant brilliant comedian and Another great roast battle and That is the great Matthew Bressard, brilliant, brilliant, comedian, and another great rose spattler. And here we are gentlemen, welcome, welcome. Matthew, this is your first time on the show.

Starting point is 00:09:52 Say hello to the people. Thank you. Yeah. My first time judging. I did a spot a couple of years back. Oh, you were on. Yeah. It was okay.

Starting point is 00:10:00 It was all right. I'm happy to be on this side of the microphone. Yeah. Not judging and not being judged. It's nice. I love it. We're gonna have fun tonight. Moses? Just get to be here and get to be black in Austin. Goddamn right. Don't know what we would have done without another one of you. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:10:17 Oh, this is the guy that was taking the credit for being black earlier. What do you think about this, Moses? This audio-rabeian French guy right here? Ha ha ha ha ha. Saudi? Yeah. But what? Nicarbalees.

Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. He believes these black. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. We're going to have a lot of fun here tonight. You guys know how the show works. Hundreds, literally hundreds of human beings signed up for the chance to get 60 seconds on this stage.

Starting point is 00:10:54 I'm gonna pull some of these names out tonight. And if I do, that means they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know their time is up and you hear the sound of a kitten. I mean, they have to wrap it up then, or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. And that just cuts them off. And then I interview them. We laugh about stuff. We try to figure out what's funny about them live on stage.

Starting point is 00:11:15 Everything's improvised. You guys ready to start tonight's show? Well, you're in for a real special treat. I'm going to pre-pick the first bucket pool so that that will eventually be ready when it happens. They are all at a bar down the street, contained and herded together, hundreds of comedians. But to start the show, we have one of our esteemed regulars

Starting point is 00:11:43 that kicks off every single show for two and a half years and tonight He is indeed battling for his job Here with a brand new minute ladies and gentlemen killed Tony Royalty sing it if you know the words, this is Hans Kim. I stopped using my turn signal. I took it out. They're just a holster there. I love America. I grew up here. I went to John Adams Elementary School slash Shooting Range. A lot of people don't think that trans women should be allowed to compete in women's sports.

Starting point is 00:12:48 I personally don't think that women should be allowed to compete in women's sports. Why do we have a category of sports for people that suck at sports? It's called the Special Olympics. Thank you. There it is. 58 seconds. Point nine. The boy is on fire. A great set. Many punchlines. Little local local references which I absolutely loved, and then an overall encompassing great jokes about women's sport. The old elephant in the room, everybody wants to say, I know one wants to talk about it, but you're just out here fighting for your life, willing to joke about anything, and we appreciate it.

Starting point is 00:13:40 The turn signal joke, really, really, I love it. I mean, these fucking people out here driving me completely fucking insane. It is unbelievable. Literally the worst drivers on planet earth, it is the one catch with living here. It's insane. And if you don't think that, that means you're one of them. If you disagree at all, you're one of them.

Starting point is 00:13:58 You're just in the left lane, going the same speed as the person next to you with someone flashing their fucking lights behind you. And I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna find each and every one of you and slowly kill you I'm gonna take you to the rainy street river and I'm gonna drown you With my bare hands. I've been doing it. Don't tell anybody. It was me all along All right, Hans a great set. How do you feel?

Starting point is 00:14:22 Do you feel under pressure tonight? I feel extremely under pressure. There's all downside, no upside to beating someone who's only done comedy once in her life. Well, hold on, don't blow the load. I haven't revealed to the audience exactly who you're going up against. Alright, I mean, you're really talking shit. I think you should keep the likable face on right now. Um, uh, women don't have their own division of comedy like they do in sports, so. Um, they should though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:00 Hey, now, uh, so Hans, anything else happening interesting in your life this week that we should know about before moving on to your competitor? Yes, I was in Portland recently. I was flying my drone and some Portland woman was like, I did not consent to a drone. To a drone. Oh my god, Portland is just one of those dumpster fires

Starting point is 00:15:20 right now. Incredible. Worse than Belize. You know it. You get to to Portland, Laila? It's a real shithole. It used to be lovely. Very progressive city. They recently legalized crime.

Starting point is 00:15:34 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. See what I mean? See those fucking shark shooter over here. Ebb and the Portland. A lot of Wiggers there. Yeah. White guys with dreadlocks and mixed tapes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:49 Any brown ones that wear Trump hats? Now Portland's like white trash Paris. There's a revolution every weekend, and they don't know which side they're on. Black lives matter. I'm like, where are these black lives? I was on that basketball team that never wins, okay? Hans Kim, this is the moment that you have been waiting for put the mic back in the mic stand and

Starting point is 00:16:15 I guess what do we normally do? Do we keep you on this stage? No, usually not for these. Okay. Okay, well go on backstage. We're gonna bring you back out in just a second because the audience decides tonight whether Hans Kim stays the regular or not. Ladies and gentlemen, he kind of leaked something very, very interesting that you may have noticed. His opponent tonight has only done stand-up comedy one time ever

Starting point is 00:16:42 and that one time ever was last week here on Kill Tony. She had signed up many times over the years seven and a half years we've known this girl because for seven and a half years she has been the girlfriend of Red Band. She had a set last week and it went so, so, so well that I said that she should paddle Hans for regular ship. Therefore getting Hans to work a little harder, giving us a little storyline and you guys get to decide afterwards who's the regular. Sound like a deal? Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, her second time ever performing, a 100% kill rate

Starting point is 00:17:38 at this point, makes a noise for the great and powerful Janice Min everybody. Here we go. Hello. There's a lot of Asian stereotypes. Some are true, some aren't, but that's for another time. Here's a new one for you, and you can actually test it out for yourself. So every time an Asian person is startled or wowed, like impressed, they'll make this noise Oh Okay, you can you can surprise someone and see for yourself or impress whatever speaking of noises Does anyone know who the great lady is?

Starting point is 00:18:46 She went viral on Fox News like this Fox News segment where she was shot stomping on grapes really hard She fell over and made this funny noise anyway So she's my safe word now Not not great lady, but the noise she makes so she goes oh That's my noise that's my safe word Janice men how adorable how likable can you possibly be Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:19:08 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:19:16 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:19:24 Thank you. Thank you. Thank like that went? How do you feel up here? What's been on your mind this past week since your Killtony debut, your stand-up comedy debut? Honestly, I try not to think about it too much because I would make my heartbeat really fast. Right. Yeah, that happens. It also made Red Band's heartbeat very fast. He's been

Starting point is 00:19:46 sweating bullets all day. I think he's more nervous than I am. Yeah. I think so. Red Bans, how do you feel like that when? Where do your thoughts? I think when good. She stumbled on the first joke. She missed a couple of her tags. Ah. And so I bet she doesn't even know that she did that. Wow. The stereotype. You guys see the stereotypes. Oh man, someone's getting beat later. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm beating him. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Starting point is 00:20:13 Absolutely. Oh, fucking, really. Ooh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:20:23 Oh. Very surprised. Woo. All right. Let's bring it on. Oh! Oh! Oh! Very surprised. All right, let's bring them out. Make some noise for Hans Kim, everybody. Here he is. Probably smiling here to here. He's still nervous.

Starting point is 00:20:38 Look at him. He still doesn't think he pulled it off. What do you think about this situation, Matthew Bersard? It looks a lot like women's sports versus the special Olympics. Yeah, it does. It does. It does. Yeah, like how Killtony's doing squid games now.

Starting point is 00:20:58 Ha, ha, ha. Ah. All right. Alright, well you guys know how this goes. I warned you, you have the fate of the show in your hands. You just a random group of fucking tourists and locals that could change the course of the history of the show. how scared Hans is right now he could not fuck it he cannot hide it so how many of you have Janice winning this competition here tonight whoa that's a lot that's okay how many of you have Hans Kim? Whoa! That was close! What's how happy is he can't hide his emotions? Thank you guys so much!

Starting point is 00:21:55 You gotta make the surprise noise now. Oh! Oh! Tebak! Oh, Tebak! Janice, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,. You came out funny, likable again, up for the challenge. So cool. It's amazing to see. And Hans beat someone that's only done comedy twice. That's really impressive. Yeah. Good job.

Starting point is 00:22:34 Ah-ha. You just got roasted you, homo. Ha-ha. You did better than Uncle Lasers, so. Oh. Oh. You did better than Uncle Laser, so... Oh! This has been a new running thing every week. Uncle Laser just gets roasted for no reason. God I love it. The most hated man in Austin comedy.

Starting point is 00:23:05 Hawns, how many battles have you won for your regular ship? Or no. Four and no undefeated. You refuse us to let anybody have a chance. Makes the noise for the great Hawns, Kim and Janice, man, everybody. That's a way to get a fucking show started, am I right? All right. I pulled the name out of the bucket. This is where Shikit's interesting,

Starting point is 00:23:29 because we're gonna meet these people all together. Anything that happened, they could be completely fucking insane. They could be the future. Anything that can happen. Make some noise. 60 seconds uninterrupted and then an interview. From PENTS HUNTER, everybody. PENENTS Hunter. It's the first fucking show. I've been trying to work on my Spanish, so I started watching Dora. Thought it'd be funny if they did an episode where Dora explores the US Mexican border.

Starting point is 00:24:01 Oh no, swipers swiped my green card. What am I going to do? Can you say hop the fence? Next thing you hear, breaking news, door of the explorer rested at the border. She was found with a keel of coke shoved up her pussy. Apparently it was so far out there to find it they had to use the map, the map, the map. I used to play sports in high school and I come to the conclusion that sports are a little gay. I had a football coach used to smack me on the ass to tell me good job. One time I made a really good play and he said, can't you're making me moist. I'm a big

Starting point is 00:24:38 words of affirmation guys, I just came instantly. I think different races have different flavored vaginas. White pussy a little bland, needs some seasoning. Latina's a little spicy, got some kick to it. Black pussy tastes like lemon pepper. Okay. He said lemon pepper and just looked me dead into my soul after that. So I'm guessing he's done. That's great.

Starting point is 00:25:09 Let's talk about a can't hunter. Why do I get the feeling that you've never actually eaten a black pussy before? And if so, is that how you got that chain around your neck? I'm trying. Have you ever done it? What is the X on your hand, mean? As Shakespeare's where they have it, I'm trying. Have you ever done it? I have not. What is the X on your hand mean? As Shakespeare's where they have us, I'm not 21.

Starting point is 00:25:29 Oh, okay. How old are you? 20. 20. All right. Where are you from? South Carolina. South Carolina.

Starting point is 00:25:37 Is former Seattle Mariners pitcher Randy Johnson your father? It's a... Not a great reference, but the ones that know what I'm talking about. You look a little trashy, white trashy, would you agree with that? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. What do you do for work? I work at HB.

Starting point is 00:25:56 HB in South Carolina? I live here now. Oh, okay. How long do you move here? In January. We love HB. Tell us one of the things that you love about working at HGB.

Starting point is 00:26:07 I mean, I just worked with some amazing people and they let me work my jokes out with them in the back. So that's always nice. Wow, look at that. Absolutely amazing. And the response is always, see? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:20 Yeah. So you're like a you stock? Yes, I stock the dairy department. I work in the building. I know it very well. Not a lot of people know this, but there's things that move from behind the shelves and it's loaded from the back end. There it is. Yes. I used to work in a grocery store as well. Giant Eagle.

Starting point is 00:26:45 Youngstown Ohio. You know Giant Eagle? Where are you from? There you go. Santa Feche. You had Croger. That is correct. Croger is Columbus, Ohio.

Starting point is 00:26:55 And what was your grocery store in South Carolina? Oh, Bilo? Bilo? Oh, shit. Dude, that sounds like fucking trash, bro. Okay. Oh, I have been informed that this is late-shaking guy from the 10-year shop. You always have like a different look to you.

Starting point is 00:27:20 You want to know how fast things move here at Kiltoni. So how long have you had Parkinson's? Only twice apparently. Oh no, it just started. Yeah, you just started it. Really? Is it starting again? Oh, I see it.

Starting point is 00:27:37 Oh my God. Oh, it's been happening the whole time. We're being informed that, yeah, give me some good legs shaking Trump at their dimmer. Is that okay? Yeah, do the shaky leg. Wobble would, wobble would. So Kent, let's talk about it. How's living in Austin been going for you? What's something that we haven't talked about

Starting point is 00:28:11 that you think would be interesting to talk about during the interview portion of Killtoni? You've been on the show twice now. Yes, yes. Yeah. I went on a date recently. Oh, tell us about the date. Did she sit on your lap and come on your vibrating thigh? It's the old Santa Sibian over here.

Starting point is 00:28:31 Come here, babe. Take a seat. Make sure the microphones close to your mouth when you're telling us about this date. Go ahead. Tell us about it. You went to a comedy show. You're 20 years old. You took her to a comedy show.

Starting point is 00:28:44 How old is she? She was 21. 21. OK, very good. It was great. I mean, we had a good time. Show was good. What comedy show did you go to?

Starting point is 00:28:53 Oh, it was a smaller showcase that one of my friends ran. It was called Mink Comedy. OK. All right. Well, let's get to the meat and potatoes of it. So you pick her up? No, we met there. OK.

Starting point is 00:29:04 You met there. So you drove your up? No, we met there. Okay. You met there, so you drove your wagon with horses there. Yes. Then you met her there, and then what happened? Well, we watched the show, and then afterwards we just sat outside talking for like two hours. Wow. Oh my goodness. Did you...

Starting point is 00:29:18 Did you... Did you... Moses? Oh. We've been doing this for like five minutes, nobody's talking with this fucking list. For two hours she said they're trying to understand what you were saying I'm trying to say. That's why I'm just a two hour conversation. This is the best time I've ever.

Starting point is 00:29:41 I think we're really in sync. And someday. Alright. I think the leg shake and the list have something together. Right, I think the list is like the ninth weirdest thing I've ever had. Right. I'm not even really worried about it. Do you drink too much milk or something maybe, like, do you?

Starting point is 00:30:00 I don't think I drink enough, actually. Whoa. Getting high on your own supply over there. I like it. Okay. What do we got? What are you pointing at? Oh yeah, you have a crazy scar on your arm as well.

Starting point is 00:30:13 We're finding out you're a human freak show. What's the scar from? I broke my arm playing football my sophomore year high school. Ah, wide receiver? Offensive lineman. You were an offensive lineman? Yeah. You're a blanky shaky ass You were an offensive lineman? Yeah. You're a lanky, shaky ass was an offensive lineman?

Starting point is 00:30:28 Yeah, yeah. I was too slow. Oh my god. No wonder your arms broke into some fucking big guy just threw you to the ground. Well, actually, I threw someone to the ground. And I tripped over him and landed on my arm. You tripped over.

Starting point is 00:30:42 It snapped it. Yeah, that makes sense. So you talked for two hours with this girl, and this is when was the state? About a month ago. And then did you follow up? Have you hung out since? We were talking a little after, and then she told me

Starting point is 00:30:57 that there was someone else. Ah, damn. Man. Well, Michael Gonzalez with a little rare input, he said, at least she told you. My goodness, what the fuck? What is going on back there, Michael? Where did that come from?

Starting point is 00:31:15 It's given a little, that was interesting. At least she told you. Did she describe the person at all? He did not. No. She just said, oh, I really like. Oh, really? She said, I had a great time with you, but I've been talking with someone else as well,

Starting point is 00:31:39 and I would prefer to go exclusive with them instead. Wow. No reason. She wasn't a reason given to another guy. That's all she said. Wow. Coming to the Hallmark channel. The Milk Man.

Starting point is 00:31:57 Yeah. I love it. Well, hopefully you'll be able to find something sometime. Maybe. So we'll be willing to settle for someone like you. It is incredible. Kent, you've been having fun doing stand-up comedy? Oh, but I'm going to great time.

Starting point is 00:32:15 Okay, well congratulations, you did it again. You already have a joke book. Yep. Okay, there you go. They started the bucket poll portion to show Ken Hunter. And so it has begun. And it's free rolling in name. And on to the one that I pulled before.

Starting point is 00:32:32 Your next comedian straight out of the bucket, anything can happen. We're going to meet him all together. Makes noise for Bobby Housel, everybody. Here we go. Could be the future. Could be insane. Anything can happen.

Starting point is 00:32:43 This is Bobby Housel one more time for Bobby everybody How's it going guys my name is Bobby Housel. This is my company actually. It's called founders cupid I'm actually a college student and I just got seven other college students to move down to Austin with me to work on their startup companies now if you're not familiar with startups It's kind of like the cool way of saying you're an unemployed white guy. And it's interesting, you might be asking yourself, Bobby, how did you get these guys to move down here? It actually wasn't that hard.

Starting point is 00:33:14 I just put up an ad that said, are you an unemployed virgin? Come on down. But anyways, I've been thinking about stand-up lately. I realize that startups and stand-up are kind of similar. You just pour all of your energy and your time and your hopes of getting laid into a fantasy job. But anyways, this is like this startup founder house. Anyways, all these kids move down here to Austin with me.

Starting point is 00:33:37 I've apparently got to bring them together. I realize that I'm kind of like the Killtony for startup college founders. And that, and that and that hold on and that Listen listen I also got a bunch of idiots to move down to Austin to pretend like they had jobs for the summer Oh, but anyways, I'm Bobby. I was with my company's founders. Keep it. Thank you. There you go Bobby Bobby Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, oh. Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:34:05 Oh, shit. Bobby, there's only so much I can do to help you at this point. Maybe take a breath for a second, Bobby. Talking hasn't helped you up to this point. Just really, I can tell you, really want to talk right now. Just give it a moment, soak it in. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Your mouth breathing right now, just give it a moment, soak it in, in through your nose, out through your mouth, your mouth breathing right now, Bobby.

Starting point is 00:34:26 I want you to have a chance at this. Matthew, what did you think about what just happened here in this month's show? I thought the last show actually had like some, like it was a joke, it was not terrible, I got no laugh, I like that, I like that but anyways, indicated where he thought he was going to get a laugh. There was a lot of moments there where it seemed like you thought there was going to be

Starting point is 00:34:51 laughs. You promoted your company that was not described at all from the get. You've decided to wear it on your hat and your shirt and stock, which isn't even existing, went down during your set. Is this the first person who's tried to shark tank Killtony? I think at this point, like this, it is not good. Did you get an office max gift card? Like why do you have such like generic clothing on right now? He's trying to promote his company, which is just fucking weird.

Starting point is 00:35:27 Uh, and you know what, I'm out. Oh! Oh! Oh! Have you ever done stand-up comedy before? I have two times I've done stand-up. Two times, and people tell you that you're funny or something like that. I did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did that? I did decent the two times I did it. Did you always wear your company's stuff on stage?

Starting point is 00:35:49 No, we actually just made it. OK, so I want to know, I want to know this startup, because it seems like you're a real startup guy. I'm going to have a startup. I'm going to start up. Start up, it's my identity. I'm going to start up. What is Founder's Cupid?

Starting point is 00:36:04 Oh, we help other college students build their companies. What is Founder's Cupid? We help other college students build their companies. So... Wait, you're... What happens when Bobby pitches the dumbest company ever? The King of Unlikability has a ride to Shark Tank. This is Kiltang. There are people come with horrible energies to pitch their ideas.

Starting point is 00:36:38 Patches on plain white clothing. So dawned by his mom. Bobby, your shit's ready. Don't kill it tonight, Bobby. I know you've got it in you. I think you're funny. Yeah, father thinks you're funny. Holy shit.

Starting point is 00:37:04 So this startup company, it does what? Repeat yourself. So basically, it's really quite hard to build a company at college. And college is not really set up to help you build a company. And what we do is we bring together the top 5% of kids building companies at college and we help them scale up what it is that they're doing. Okay, so you have a college startup for college startups. That is literally MLM. That's it. It's a bit meta, I understand.

Starting point is 00:37:34 But the truth is like some of the most impressive companies are being built at college and colleges don't want to help you do that. And so we're trying to fill in the gaps where colleges aren't helping kids scale their company. So where's the money coming from? I, yeah. So part of the business.

Starting point is 00:37:52 We help get college founders in front of investors. So we run what's called a syndicate. We basically put them in front of high-knight worth individuals like you guys. We want to place some investments. It's called a scam. Yeah. Yeah. Can you get a percentage off all these kids? It can't be a scam if he has It's called a scam. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:05 Can you get a percentage off all these kids? It can't be a scam if he has a shirt in a baseball cap. Oh. You know what? I want 20% of the company, and I'm willing to give you less than fucking nothing. I wanna start a pool over what white collar crime he goes to prison. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's definitely going down. How old are you? I'm 22. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. You're gonna be hoping that you get a job working the dairy section at H.E.B. Any fucking day now. Oh

Starting point is 00:38:43 My goodness founders cupid. What a day. I mean, that's a bad name too. Have you ever, have you accomplished this at all? Have you gotten money for this company? How much have you raised? So for our first two... Tell me you're worth it, everything. Let's keep the shark tank going.

Starting point is 00:39:00 So we've been building the community for just over two years and we helped one of the first startups in the community to raise $190,000 so that was a win. Okay, was that just your father that gave that money? Yeah, I know. Alright, as long as you don't tell me another one of you have fucking jokes, here's the chat. Alright, Jesus Christ, get out of here. Founders' cupid sounds like my mom forgot the name of Destiny's Child.

Starting point is 00:39:30 What's the name? What's the name with the three girls? Founders. Why does it fall song? The three believes looking women, you know that? Ah! Ah! I've never heard a white audience act like fucking the Apollo theater, like, boo! Oh yeah, these are my people right here.

Starting point is 00:39:59 They travel from far away lands like Iowa to be here. And Belize. Okay, Bobby, you've done what you did here tonight. So let me ask you this, what's a redeeming quality about you? What's something we find you to be kind of like a SMARMI startup young kid that thinks he hasn't figured out, but you're just moving other people's money around and probably taking a percentage and lying about what's going on. So give us a redeeming quality about you. What's something about you that'll make these people like you? You're set ended in a roar of booze.

Starting point is 00:40:30 Fix it, fix it right now. What can turn us around and like you? What would we like about mother fucking you? What in the world good we fucking possibly? Anything, anything. Go ahead, answer the question. What in the world good we fucking possibly anything anything Go ahead answer the question you were so eager to speak earlier now of a sudden you So I think in life like who you know oh god, dude Keep going, keep going, this is priceless. I think in life who you know worst line to start with that you possibly could have come up with. It's not getting any

Starting point is 00:41:16 better from here. No, come on, keep going. We want to know. This was his redeeming quality, by the way. All right, so why do you come down to Austin, right? You're a stand-up comic. You come to be around other comics. If you're a kid in college and you're not taking a job and you're trying to build your own company, it's extremely lonely and it's scary. And so when you can put these people in the room with other kids that think like them,

Starting point is 00:41:37 they get a moment where they feel like they're not the weird kid. Oh, Bobby. Bobby. Where's your Bobby? You're talking like a politician. You use your hand. I mean, who taught you this?

Starting point is 00:41:48 Where do you think, how did you become this way? Where's your PowerPoint? Yeah. They didn't let me put the pitch deck up, so. Is there anything about your real life, non-business, no pitch, no founders' cupid, anything about your life that would make us kind of like you. You can reference anything that you've ever done that you do on a daily basis, perhaps

Starting point is 00:42:13 something that you love, perhaps, maybe your nice, in some way, maybe you do some type of nice thing or good deed, perhaps. Because right now, we think that you fucking break puppies next right up with your bare hands. That was my last start up idea. That was my last start up idea. And we diverse that capital into a... and I think it's important that... R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R- Give us one thing before I let you go this has gone on way too long. Make us like you. I don't know you say what you want but I think bring people. Oh get the fuck out of the game. Get the fuck out of here. Get out of here.

Starting point is 00:42:55 This is an official you song. Kill Tony X this fall. Here you go buddy. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, yes. This is Hill Tony. I tried to warn him. Is that shark tank? That shark tank? You guys are so good. Make some noise for your next comedian out of the bucket. You've seen it. Anything can happen. His name is Patrick Carpenter, everybody.

Starting point is 00:43:26 Here we go. How's it going, Austin? Are y'all burnt up? Come on, are y'all burnt up? I'm burnt up. All right, I like feet. I like feet. What does that mean? What are the implications to liking feet? All right, I like feet. I like feet.

Starting point is 00:43:45 What does that mean? What are the implications to liking feet? Well, it means I save a lot of money on only fans, because I don't have to subscribe to your only fans when I can just look at last year's Cancun Pictures on Instagram. Does the same thing for me. So, ladies, stick your toes in the sand, make and pay for it.

Starting point is 00:44:00 All right. I keep having this recurring dream that it's 9-11, and I work at 7-11 and Arnold Schwartz and Eggers in my manager and he's just like, he sees a second plane and he's like, that was not a chopper! Get down! And he's just yelling at me and he's like, restock the ruminous, restock the cigars! And then I realize, like, cigars aren't really an appropriate nicotine consumption method after a national tragedy. If anything too serious happens, smoke a cigarette, you know. Be considerate.

Starting point is 00:44:29 Alright, I have an idea for a spin-off at two and a half men. It's called 15 men. It's just Charlie Sheen and his sober host. Alright. Hell yeah, there you go. How you doing? Welcome Patrick. How you doing? Welcome Patrick. How you doing? You okay?

Starting point is 00:44:48 Yeah, I'm worked up. How about you? Good, good. You're adorable. I love your hat. How long have you been visiting from California for? I just moved from Boston a month ago. There you go. Absolutely. There you have it. We all have been through that phase. All of us. Somehow you look like both Sturgeon and Homer Simpson at the same time. This is incredible. I've never seen anything like it. Oh, me. You look like Bake Shelton. You look like Johnny Hash. These are all fat country singer references for those who do that are falling behind in the show.

Starting point is 00:45:25 Welcome from Boston. You live here now? Yeah. Okay. How long have you been on stand-up? For a buddy here now. What do you do for work? I work at a bar coffee shop, like a bar back security. Tell people to stop pissing the corner, you know that type of stuff. Yeah, stop pissing in the corner for sure. It happens. You'd be surprised. Better touch. You have a little bit of a list. No, I just, I got anxiety, but I just say and burnt up, you know, I'm just, drink a lot of coffee today. Absolutely. May or may

Starting point is 00:45:55 not have taken a suit of FEDG, you know, I'm a bit congested. You what a hippy out of all. Okay. All right. Um. All right, Patrick. So you've been here for a month. Yeah. What do you do for fun? What do you tell us more about you? Give us some information about your life. Uh, Barton Springs is fun. I actually, uh, I took a rain chocolate on a date tonight. You can kayak and rain. Rain chocolate on a date? Yeah, let's go a kayak in a Barton Springs. I'm like, no, I got to do comedy tonight.

Starting point is 00:46:30 Wow, that's kind of gay. Wow, there's a kayak. Still a float because you decided to come do comedy tonight. Adorable. Do you have you kayaked a lot? Yeah, you know, few times. Yes. Indeed. The lonely man's canoe. All right, Patrick, what's your love life like? I'm trying, you know, I'm trying. Tell us about it. Tell us about how you're trying. Has the naked Betty Boob tattooed on your cab helped or hurt with your low life?

Starting point is 00:47:09 I just got that on my birthday like a few weeks ago. Yes, your cab is still shaved. Betty Boob's got infected. Oh man, this is a buncha. Buncha. Down Trotten Bucket Pulse tonight. I took antibiotics, it's good now. Okay.

Starting point is 00:47:29 His face looks like an animatronic. Have you ever been to one of those road sites? It looks like if the muesa next monster was a plantation owner. I'm trying to figure out more about you. I feel like there's a fun fact about your life that we're missing here. It seems like something you've seen,

Starting point is 00:47:46 it seems like you've seen something in your life, like some type of darkness. There's a sadness behind your eyes that I'm trying to figure out. Tell us what we're missing. What do you think it is? Oh yeah, I've been to around like 70 fish shows so that could have some part in it.

Starting point is 00:48:02 Fish. A bit too much nitrous, you know. You do a lot of drugs. You know, from time to time, just don't tell my boss. Your boss? No, he probably does a lot of drugs, too. Okay. So, fish concerts, anything else?

Starting point is 00:48:18 Any special skills or talents or anything like that? I've been doing a painting series. I've been painting dick picks and trying to sell them after open mic sets. Wait, feet picks and dick picks. You couldn't tear antennae or you? I'm also writing a couple scripts but let's let's not get into that yet. Are they prescriptions? What are we talking about? I feel like I'm into feet and I paint dick picks

Starting point is 00:48:50 would have been redeeming answers for the last guy. Yeah, yeah. Can you imagine him trying to get that out? In this world, it's all in who you know. And that starts at the base. Their feet. He looks like an investor the last guy would defraud. 100%. Yeah, I just inherited my uncle's. All right. Patrick, all right buddy. Well, that was okay. I'm giving you a slightly larger than small joke book.

Starting point is 00:49:31 How do you feel like it went up here? Word. Went all right, you know. It was a bit too bricked up, but you know. Bricked up? What is it? Wait, what? Wait, what?

Starting point is 00:49:41 How old are you? 26. 26. 26. What do you mean by breakdup? Blaming the suitafead? It means like three different things. It means like a broken iPhone, a closed restaurant, or a direct penis.

Starting point is 00:49:54 But I tend to use it to say like excited, you know, and breakdup. Um. I don't know. I don't know. I know. I know. Nice. There he goes. Patrick Carpender, ladies and gentlemen.

Starting point is 00:50:08 Yeah. I'm going to pre-pull a name for us to go wrangle up, but you guys are in for a fucking treat right now. It is one of those very special moments where I get to bring out one of our unbelievable, unbelievable buzz around this guy. He is indeed the newest full-time regular on the show. In unbelievable force, we love him so much. Ladies and gentlemen, can Patterson, everybody. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Starting point is 00:50:47 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! You ever had a problem with your man? Like, you ain't saying? You meant with the STDs or shit?

Starting point is 00:50:57 I mean, I was fucking a girl on time, like when Cole was in there, we were fucking, we were fucking, like, for a little minute. And she could tell me to take the carnivore and I would like, no, because I could smell it. And that's the bad idea. When you fucking, you'll dig take over. And I just felt my hand just slipped down in my hand

Starting point is 00:51:14 and I demast myself, right? And so now I'm just swimming in treacherous waters. Now I'm just going crazy when I swim in the treacherous waters in two weeks, as fucked her, right? I was at work and I was pissing, lava. And I went to the doctor and we did all the tests. This right macobo was in there. And I had already got my vaccine shot.

Starting point is 00:51:36 I'm not happy about that. But I got it, right? And then he would like, he would like, hey man, did you just take the vaccine? I'm like, yeah, I did. And he would like, oh, don't worry about it just to decide the thing for that. I'm like, yeah, I did. And he was like, oh, don't worry about it. Just a side-fick of that. I'm like, for recent knowledge, you got Commedia.

Starting point is 00:51:48 Oh! Oh! Oh! Hey, hey guys, look. There it is, the P.A. seconds. The Pro, the future, and the present has arrived. Well, it's a little cam Patterson. We did it again, another brand. We didn't think it could cry, yeah, cam Patterson. We did it again.

Starting point is 00:52:05 Another brand. This nigga cry. Oh, yeah, yeah. I ain't even robbed you yet. Bitch, this is dope. I had this shit beautiful. Ha, ha, ha. This shit beautiful, though.

Starting point is 00:52:21 I really enjoyed all the words I understood. Uh-oh. Here he is, everybody. He's been hit to a death stick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:33 Yeah. Yeah. Cam, let me ask you something. During the commercial break, we found out that this gentleman in the front row is from Belize, and he said that he's black. What do you think about that? You think he's black? You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:52:47 Oh. Shit. Oh. Oh, no. The light-skinned part is actually the tattoo. The dark stuff is underneath. I think I got that Edgar Allen porn your hand. I don't even really know who that is that way. No, it's not gonna be that way.

Starting point is 00:53:07 You know what, God. Yeah, you know what, God. Don't talk to Nipsy Lazy over there, should. Nipsy Huston. Hey, okay, I have the question. Where is Belize? It's a salon in East Austin. Okay, good.

Starting point is 00:53:26 All right, remember. Black girls see your hair there, yeah. Okay, cool, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't say niggle, but I fuck with you. I feel like he says it, but only when black people learn around. Am I right? You use it sometimes. You are wearing a Trump hat.

Starting point is 00:53:42 So technically, you could use it as a... Wait a minute, you see that shit? Ah! I showed even cat hair, fuck no! Ah! I'm so nervous, I'm so nervous. Alright, Cam, what else has been going on? Anything else we should know about before letting you go?

Starting point is 00:53:56 Oh, I've been, uh, I'm getting a list of sets when I was on, I'm trying to fuck white women. Oh! Oh, hell yeah! I'm gonna fuck you! I'm gonna fuck you! That bitches right now. I said, we wanted to talk like me when I get moment, I'm gonna get like a prestige white bitch like that. All right, I'm gonna get one of them. Yeah, look at that.

Starting point is 00:54:31 Damn, good pill. That's a pretty white bitch. That's a barb shit. You know what I'm saying? I want a Brittany. Oh shit. Or a tailor. Oh my goodness, what are the names of the ones you're dealing with now? Oh, shit. Or a tailor. Oh, my goodness. What are the names of the ones you're dealing with now?

Starting point is 00:54:47 Oh, damn. Liddy Kelly. Liddy Kelly. Who caught it, Mr. LeCache? I love it. Have you noticed a difference between the white women and the black women? What stands out to you? That's something that you've noticed. The difference between the white women and the black women? What stands out to you?

Starting point is 00:55:05 That's something that you've noticed. The difference between the two. Yeah. Let me remember. What? White women's stuff did so well, though. Oh, shit. Wow, our viewership just went down 10% just then.

Starting point is 00:55:21 There's a bunch of angry white men in the middle of the kind of, fuck this shit. Yeah. It's so good. You used the adjective the second time and adverb the first time. Yeah, I know. I know some of the word. I like the you know. Matthew Bersard's famous last words.

Starting point is 00:55:41 Well, I'm almost at a high coup there for a moment. Ha ha ha. Cam, you're a fucking superstar, dude. It is unbelievable and so much fun. I love having you as part of this show. It's incredible. Thank you so much. The great powerful Cam Pattern.

Starting point is 00:56:01 So happy, happy. the great powerful camp pattern. So, I think that is... Fuck yeah. On to the next one, we go... another bucket pool coming at you at a thousand miles an hour and the name of this bucket pool is Alan Gigi Walker, everybody. Ooh, a long name. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:56:24 Alan GG Walker. Hello, hello. Shit, there's a lot of people. I don't know if I'm going to be able to focus right now. Like, I'm an out of towner. I've been saying on an Airbnb. And I don't know if I really trust Airbnb. I'm very convinced that there's a spy cam in our bedroom and I'm more convinced because that's kind of porn

Starting point is 00:56:55 I'm really into. I can't get over the fact that I just think every morning someone's waking up to me waking up at 8 a.m. and just slowly masturbating as I go through recipes on TikTok of what I'm going to make for breakfast. I don't know. I don't know. I feel about that. Is anybody here ever slept with a coworker? All right, lid, this is a better crowd than I'm fucking used to.

Starting point is 00:57:34 No one wants to say that, it's weird. It can get weird, it's fun at first. But like, after a while, you don't want to, you don't know where the relationship's going to go. Ah, there you go, Alan, Gigi Walker. Welcome to the show, my friend. How are you?

Starting point is 00:57:52 How are you? Hello. How's it going? It's going. How are you doing? Okay. How long have you been on stand-up? Uh, like, three months.

Starting point is 00:58:00 Three months. All of it here in Austin, Texas? No, I don't live here. I've been here for a week. Okay. I do it in Evansville, Indiana. Okay. They're kind of black here in Austin, Texas. No, I don't live here. I've been here for a week Okay, I do it in Evansville, Indiana. Okay. They're kind of blacklist in me right now. They don't like my standup Why don't they like your standup in Evansville, Indiana? Why do you think that is? Oh? God oh No, I'm about to lose all my big spots that fuck you go Go ahead and answer the question. You're on a show. You're on a show right now.

Starting point is 00:58:27 My first show, like my promoter, was like, you just throw around the F-bomb and then word way too much. I was like, first off, you're my sister. So why is it that big of a deal? You know who I am. And oh, fuck, dude. Since it. Allen.

Starting point is 00:58:44 OK. Rough, okay. Rough. Okay, what do you do for working Evansville, Indiana? Um, a freelance photographer and I just serve foods. What's something interesting about you? Anything at all. Interesting. You're good at something, you have a hobby,

Starting point is 00:59:00 you once did this, you once this one's happened, you were part of a anything, something. Your Beletion? Beletion? I don't know, I really like that I went after the fucking the rocks dude because I got a rock in my pocket. And that makes me feel very secure. Wow. You know what he also had is jokes.

Starting point is 00:59:24 I can't just carry the rock and think that that's going to help you. So what else about you other than the fact that you have a rock in your pocket? What else is interesting? You can reference your entire life right now, anything at all. Oh, dude, fuck. I'm just doing this, like I'm just trying to wing it. You smoke, you smoke bongs? You have a bong at your Airbnb?

Starting point is 00:59:51 No. What type of smoking apparatus do you use? I do like bowls. Right. Dirty bowls that you've had for a while. Yeah, that's the vibe that I'm getting right now. You have that energy. You have the energy of a guy that never cleanses.

Starting point is 01:00:02 I don't like cereal, but I do like the bowls. There you go. And you know what? I hope you like that never cleanses. I don't like cereal, but I do like the bowls. There you go. And you know what? I hope you like little joke books too. I'm gonna keep it moving along. Here you go. There you go, my friend. There you go, Salon Gigi Walker, everybody.

Starting point is 01:00:15 Indiana. Did I pre-pull? I forgot the pre-pull, huh? That's gonna be a special treat up here. Is that golden tikka winner ready? Back there? Fantastic. Can you get past that off? This is a special treat up here. Is that Golden Ticket winner ready? Back there? Fantastic.

Starting point is 01:00:26 I think you can get past that off. Nope. You guys are in for a special treat right now. How many of you have been watching the show for a long time, huh? This lady, a legend in the game of Killtony. She is one of the original Golden Ticket winners from over a half a decade ago. Always a very, very interesting new minute.

Starting point is 01:00:49 She's a wild wild lady. She fits in just perfectly here. Make some noise. For legend, Nicole Tran, everybody. Guess what, Tony? My auntie will move to San Antonio and she got an Alzheimer. Now she cannot even remember the animal. I saw a restaurant right next to an immigration office in El Paso. They say it better to eat after you swim. I got the best $5 fish tackle in Austin. Tôi có một phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía phía ph It gets so hot in Texas, man.

Starting point is 01:02:06 You can fry an egg on the sidewalk. Who wants to eat that? Not me. Make me a pancake. There's a one mark that's bigger than Oklahoma in Austin. In fact, I owe seven, eight, and nine at Oklahoma. Nicole Tran, ladies and gentlemen, there it is. This is what would have happened if Hans and Janice would have tied earlier, and just would have created a hybrid regular.

Starting point is 01:02:52 I have blue eye Tony, my cousin Bingbing say hi to you man. Your cousin Bingbing? Yeah. Okay. My cousin Bingbing just got her eye proud tattoo. That guy did it too high. Now she looks surprised on the time. He says,

Starting point is 01:03:09 Did guy charge me too much for this tattoo? I say surprise. Wow. The big loves frozen food, man. She spent $2,000 on frozen carrots, frozen peas, frozen meat. Now her credit is frozen. Everything is frozen. We call her the ice queen.

Starting point is 01:03:40 She found libel succinct much cheaper in Mexico, but is located in a piñata factory. Chị phào liệu sức sức và mất chiếp ở Mexico nhưng không có lâu dụng ở phía Nhà Đà Phạc Trời Nếu không là liệu sức sức, Tony, không có lâu dụng sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức sức for cousin Big Bang. The merch. For girls, if you get the sexy Bing Bing T-shirt, go to bed. You get Bong Bong. And. And you're going to be selling this merch in the lobby after the show, right?

Starting point is 01:04:16 OK. So, co-full, my airplane cost, man. And this is for guys. If you get the sexy Bing Bing T-shirt, I guarantee you get bang-bang. Hey! That's a much. This is a much better shark tank pitch

Starting point is 01:04:32 than what we saw earlier. This is a color. Oh, girls, man. This is like sushi tank. Oh, my God. I see that Nicole's in pink. I love you in Oppenheimer, by the way. Ha-ha-ha. It was. I love you in Oppenheimer by the way

Starting point is 01:04:52 Oh, she's man. I love your show Tony your shows make me famous man now. I move in West Hollywood Everybody knows new country and cute Tony podcast girl. That is true I really like seeing people's lives So you moved from a Bay area to West Hollywood. So I just opened fire checking accounts. If one bouse I use another one. If that one bouse I bouse again. Eventually embalcing more than Dolly Parton on the tumble-ins. Oh my goodness. Matthew

Starting point is 01:05:20 Bressard, what do you think about this? I really like her delivery. She has the timing of an automated voice messaging system. Please, press one for more options. My friend Bingbing says hello, Tony. If I bounce, I bounce again. Ha ha ha ha. I can't get any more.

Starting point is 01:05:41 Let me tell joke, man. Somebody, listen, man, I come here to tell jokes man. I don't come here and let you make fun of me man. I spend a thousand dollars to make people laugh man. Somebody stole my identity. They did not know I was wanted by immigration. That poor guy ended up slapping pigs in pain, I'm pens. He ended up what

Starting point is 01:06:06 He ended up slopping pigs and pain on pens Slopping pigs and paying in pens What Say it again, say it again, say it again. I want you to say it again. He ended up what? He ended up slopping pigs and pain on pens Slopping pigs and paying them pen. Hahahaha. Pigs and pen?

Starting point is 01:06:28 That's right, I like why guys don't wait that for me. Can you spell it for us? Hahahaha. Oh shit. This is not a spelling beast, man. This is a comedy show, man. We move to the next joke. Hahahaha.

Starting point is 01:06:39 Slopping pigs and paying them pen? Yeah. What does that mean? It's a country next to Vietnam Cambodia city Cambodia study some history bro Okay, all right all right This lovely blue eyed white dude needs study Asians history man Cái này là lng lắm, tụi không thể nào đi được quán lại, tái sao tụi muốt, sẽ tới ra còn vòng nguyện có giá mơ And he says, OK, never mind

Starting point is 01:07:45 She gets it She gets it, Nicole, it's so weird that you get it, Nicole. So we're that you get it. And other people don't. It's amazing. Why, why, why you? The counting crows called you and told you you had to do jury duty. That's unbelievable. This was about joke.

Starting point is 01:07:59 Make people laugh. That's why they pay money to listen to jokes, man. It's, it's crazy to think that jokes, man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's crazy to think that Angela Johnson's career is all cousin. Ha ha ha ha ha. Okay, by the way, No one is too Angela Johnson. Not a crossover there.

Starting point is 01:08:18 You have Instagram, please follow me on Instagram. I need Instagram followers. Instagram is the Contra and Comedy. N-I-C-O-L-E-T-I-A-N comedy. No space between letters. That part we can hear clearly. Yeah. N-I-C-O-L-E-T-R-A-N. Anyway, back to R-A. All right.

Starting point is 01:08:42 Back to your right, man. I just ate at a restaurant called Super Bowl. I wonder who's gonna perform there at halftime. Ha ha ha ha, she got the jokes from her way. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Okay, I saw Cleopatra plastic surgery in West Hollywood. Cleopatra had the first no jobs in history, but she would never admit it,

Starting point is 01:09:09 because everybody knows she's the queen of denial. Wow, nothing better than a topical Cleopatra joke. I don't talk about this. Do you guys want me to pull her strings so she tells another joke? I have a song now. A song. Nicole, you love, you famously have talked about how you love blue-eyed white men.

Starting point is 01:09:30 What do you think about Matthew Bersard sitting next? You look at this fucking stud. Fresh, op-up. Oh, that's funny. You walked out of the... She just noticed me. No, he actually cooked man. This is the guy that fucks Barbie.

Starting point is 01:09:42 Huh? Now, go ahead. What do you think about this beautiful man? Oh, so proud. Oh. He has a cook man. This is the guy that fucks Barbie. Huh? Now go ahead. What do you think about this beautiful man? Oh, so proud. Oh. Oh. Listen.

Starting point is 01:09:51 Listen. Listen, bro. I dated a blue eyed Frenchman. He was perfect, Tony. He faced perfect. He's here, perfect. His wife. Well, nobody's perfect.

Starting point is 01:10:03 Wow, almost everything was perfect about that guy. Those are hurt memoirs of a gaysha right there. Oh, I have a big news coming up, Tony. Oh, yes. I'm doing comedy special at Open Bar comedy. Sounds like you're in the big news. Sorry. Big news, bro.

Starting point is 01:10:24 Let me talk like blue eyes. Why guy let me do the talking man? This is Asian show business man. It's going to be filming on Tuesday, February 27th. It's big deal. Okay, and nothing that pitches Nicole, it doesn't work. jokes jokes work, but you're plugging a date. Doesn't really translate on the show.

Starting point is 01:10:45 I think she's filming a special right now. That's a good new, but that's a big news, bro. You should be happy for me. Very happy. That makes me famous. You'll show make me famous. I know. People want to book me. I know. I'm very aware and to call anything else before I let you go. I have a song for you. You have a song? Okay. Do you want the band to play with you? Are you doing it? Acapella? You want them to play with you? Yeah, no, I can't go by myself. Okay. Do you want the band to play with you? Are you doing it at Akapella? You want them to play with you? No, I can't go by myself too. Okay.

Starting point is 01:11:10 Whatever you want. Okay. I'm a yellow-gain Texas. I have no cowboy hair. I don't really need one. I got a tang gallon bird. I know Tony loves me. He buzzed me Cause he knows I work for free. Unbelievable performance. You guys gotta buy these very, very, very limited edition Nicole Tran shirts on your way out. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:12:06 The Bing Bing. She literally blew those here. Make some noise one more time for Golden Take a Winter Nicole Tran everybody. Thank you, Goli. Thank you right now. There you go. That's it Nicole. Thank you, Nicole.

Starting point is 01:12:19 Do look in the line like that. There you go. Thank you Nicole. That bitch talks a lot. You should see her in the fucking greener. Might just tell her like five times, playing the cold, fucking relax. Jesus. Your next bucket poll, ladies and gentlemen,

Starting point is 01:12:37 has an eye in parentheses next to it, which means it is one of you. In the room makes a noise. This is always exciting. One of your own. Tyler Bow, everybody. Tyler Bow is next. Right there.

Starting point is 01:12:53 It's happening. Wow. Oh, he's singing a short cut. Okay. There you go. Go now. I go to do this. Go now. Go go. Go now. Wait, go do this. Go now.

Starting point is 01:13:05 Go now. Go now. How you guys? One more time for Tyler Bow, everyone. I was just about to yell in this thing. How you guys doing tonight? Thank you very much for having me. Let's get this out of the way.

Starting point is 01:13:21 I'm a white guy. No, don't cheer for that that don't you for that shit i mean we're practically supervillains at this point uh... she's speaking of whiteness let me talk about slavery real quick hold on on people i got i got it i got a role here so you expect me a white guy another white guy

Starting point is 01:13:44 when i had a sale to africa sounds about right so far You expect me a white guy, another white guy, went ahead and sailed to Africa. Sounds about right so far. But then you expect me to go ahead and throw a net and catch a black guy that runs from lions and shit and hunts them with a spear. Let me tell you, from a white guy's perspective, we don't have the fucking stamina. We do not.

Starting point is 01:14:09 Well, another thing about me. Another thing about me, I am the only white guy from where I am from. I am from the tip of There you go, that's your time. All right, the interview part starts now. Where are you from Tyler? I'm from a place called San Benito, Texas. Okay, talk describe it more to us. Okay. Um, how are you the only white guy from a city in Texas? Well, my parents made a horrible mistake Jesus Christ. His name is David Bo My parents made a horrible mistake. Jesus Christ. His name is Taylor Bo.

Starting point is 01:14:46 They're teachers. My dad went ahead and came down because he had a job and an opportunity. I was in my mom's room so I was taking it without consent. Okay. Alright Tyler, what do you do for a living? Oh well, is that your first time doing stand-up? No.

Starting point is 01:15:04 Huh? OK. You say fuck no with a lot of confidence. Like, it didn't seem like it was your first time. How long you been doing stand-up? Two and a half to three years. All of it there in that small Texas town? Oh, yeah, I actually came up to San Antonio just recently. And this is the furthest I've done comedy.

Starting point is 01:15:21 How does it feel? It's a little awkward. I can't see everybody. The light is in my face and to be honest Never miss is the fucking beat this guy. Can I be honest with, Tony? Sure. This is the first time I ever heard about you. Okay, well, Tyler, can I be honest with you? Yeah, go ahead, yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:53 This is the first time I've ever heard about you, Tyler. But I'm serious, I never heard about Kill Tony about a month ago, and I'm just a total butcher. My friend over here, Tyler. Tyler, stick with me here, you're gonna be a little excited with this pre-plan and that self-sabotage that you're doing right now. Was it a month ago or was it right now?

Starting point is 01:16:10 Because you just said I'd never heard of you until right now, but I just said a month ago. Yeah, a month ago. So how'd you find out about the show? Oh, well, I went ahead, heard about the rock guy. Well, how did you hear about the rock guy? Oh, my friend went ahead and showed me a video over here, Harvey, and then he was like,

Starting point is 01:16:24 you know what, it'd be nice to go ahead and get tickets. Right. And then like, you bought tickets, the stuff. No, he bought tickets. I just went ahead and paid for gas money. Right. So you paid money to come to a show so that you could tell the guy hosting it that you've never heard of him before.

Starting point is 01:16:40 Until right now, even though it was a month ago, it's just like everybody else. I just feel like we're going to be honest with each other. I feel like we're gonna be honest with each other. You what? We gotta be honest with each other, that's all. Let's find out how honest you actually are. Oh, you don't wanna know. Tell us more about your actual life. Tell us something that we'd be surprised to know.

Starting point is 01:16:57 You talked about the logistic side of slavery during your 60 seconds. You said that you're a white guy and that they're villains now. A lot of really hard hitting subject material. Very much, yeah. But no, I am the only white guy pretty much down in the valley.

Starting point is 01:17:14 And I was the only white guy on the football team. I had a nickname, powder. So this is your identity, is that you're the white guy? No, you're not. That's just how I lived my life. That's just how it is. Okay. No one else will let me live any other life. That's a little bit. You're talking a lot now, Tyler. You're not in San Bonita anymore, dude. Sure. What kind of powder was it, meth?

Starting point is 01:17:37 My coaches thought it was Coke because one day they went ahead and pulled me into the head, coach's office. And I think this was their attempt to go ahead and sexually assault me. I had pulled me into the head coach's office, and I think this was their attempt to go ahead and sexually assault me. I think it was Dandruff. The guy went ahead and put it out on the table, and it was like, you want some? Nah, dude, I'm 17.

Starting point is 01:17:54 And he did the line in front of me. You wanna be on the 18? Hell yeah! Wow, you are not funny. It's unbelievable. Nicole Tran buried you with a pair of chopsticks. It's amazing. What do you think with a pair of chopsticks. It's amazing. What do you think the funniest thing you've ever said? Two years. I asked you if it was your first time your answer was F*** no.

Starting point is 01:18:12 So let's talk about it. Your best joke you've ever written right now, Tyler Bow. You have a chance to do it in front of the mo- This is the most people you've ever performed in front of, correct? Technically yes. By technically what do you mean? Yes. If you exclude masturbating at the mall. What's the best joke you've ever written, Mr. Fuckno, not my first time? The best joke I ever throw was about weed.

Starting point is 01:18:38 I love smoking weed. And if anyone hasn't gone on the bandwagon, it makes a good day great and a bad day good. But it makes you look up weird shit. Like, have you guys ever went ahead and wanted to have sex? And you're about to put on the condom. And you're like, how was it made?

Starting point is 01:18:53 I was that guy. I went ahead and looked it up. It was really weird. Turns out in 1405 of Muslim went ahead and used a golden testant. Pretty gross, right? But by the 1800s. There he goes, everybody, Tyler Bow, you're going that way, Tyler. That way. Out. There he goes. Bucket, I breed in the

Starting point is 01:19:16 aisle. Unbarrowed. For jokes and to give you snapple facts. For a guy that only jokes about slavery, I wouldn't mind sending him on a ship to Africa am I right? Let's do it reverse We should send our worst whites It's actually a good premise Oh wait, what he was doing the slave in a second hold on Michael these fucking in-ears are killing you over there Jesus Christ. I've heard of Holocaust, and I was slavery,

Starting point is 01:19:47 and I was weird, and these white guys are probably like, oh my God, the only person who wasn't covering their face when he's doing that was my nigger right here. That's right. He was like, go on. That's right. That's right. He was like, go on.

Starting point is 01:19:59 That's right. Isn't it nice to be able to call someone and a Trump happy N word? Pulled another name out of the bucket ladies and gentlemen we're keeping it moving. Your first female of the night other than Nicole and Janice straight out of the bucket makes some noise for Teresa McAdam everybody. We're gonna meet her all together here. Teresa McAdam, everybody. We're gonna meet her all together here. Teresa McAdam.

Starting point is 01:20:31 My Chinese pussy is like Chinese takeout. It's cheap and easy. But you don't want to eat it the next day. This Jewish guy ghosted me recently. I guess that makes 6 million and one. When I try to look sexy, I just chugged nightkwill, because the most irresistible I've ever looked I was unconscious. Guys, like these girls with these, you know, bubble butts.

Starting point is 01:21:16 The only thing bubble-ish is about my butt is my hubba-bubba hemorrhoids. Who wants a chew? I think I have a really short taint. The shit just slides right into my pussy and my pussy is regularly doing blackface. Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay, stop. There's more to it. There's more to it. There's more to it. Can you finish?

Starting point is 01:21:52 No. If you do any more, Red Dan's gonna come. Red Dan, my boy. Come on, Daddy. Come on, Daddy. You have to stop her right now. Woo! Red Dan is hard as a rock right now.

Starting point is 01:22:06 I'm looking right at it. Woo! Let me see. Let me see. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 01:22:14 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 01:22:22 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm to keep myself entertained nowadays. It's fucking. Was that it or was that your second belly flap or whatever that is down there? I don't know what that was. It was soft. That's for sure. Was it your actual penis?

Starting point is 01:22:34 That was the tip of it. Yeah. Hell yeah. Turtle. It was like a turtle. Yes. There is another part of it. I'm just starting out there.

Starting point is 01:22:42 Okay. What's the rest of it? The pussy does black face or shit all over your pussy. She's no one of my pussy. Yep. So I get these starting out there. Okay, what's the rest of it? The pussy does black face, or shit all over your pussy, pussy shit. She's no one on my pussy. Yep. So I get these raging yeast infections. And yeah, ew. And I googled, can you get eaten out

Starting point is 01:22:54 when you have a yeast infection? Oh, yeah. Probably. And it feels like the best back scratch, you know, like up a little bit, down a little bit, to the left to the right harder. I blow cottage cheese all over his face. Wow.

Starting point is 01:23:10 And you are fucking disgusting. You are fucking disgusting. Matthew Broussard. Yeah, I'm Jewish and just as a note, I can't eat out pussy if it has a yeast infection, if it's on Passover. I have to wait for it to leaven. OK. Heck yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:32 I also, for many reasons, could never eat your pussy. Theresa, let's talk about it. How long you been doing stand up? Three months. Three months. OK, already better than somebody I know that's been doing it two and a half years I love it a lot of Asian women on this show tonight. What kind of Asian are you half Chinese half Chinese? What's the other half? Scottish irons and check wow

Starting point is 01:24:01 Okay, all right Half Chinese what do you do for work? I'm a pre-k special education teacher's aid. Oh my god. Is that who's writing your material for you? And then I pooped on my vagina. Okay, come on, I don't sneak in extra fart noises. So Teresa, you seem a lot of your set has to do with sexual things. Are you very sexually affected? I'm recently separated from a 10-year divorce to an autistic firefighter.

Starting point is 01:24:48 Wow, damn. So at least you could spray your pussy down before eating it. That's incredible. No. He was too scared to fuck me, believe it or not. Really? Why was he scared to fuck you?

Starting point is 01:25:00 Because of the autism. Oh, really? What kind of autism are we talking about? Was he afraid he'd give it to you? I have it to a little bit, but I think he's way more, you know. So how long have you been separated from the autistic fire? Three months. Three months.

Starting point is 01:25:16 So you've just been on a terror. Yes. So what's been going on? Describe some of your actual interactions with other humans with us. Woo, okay. Um, wow. I am excited about this.

Starting point is 01:25:28 Yeah, so I've been on a Hispanic frenzy. Um, is that a dating site? I would. It should be. It should be. No, it should be. I wish it was. Fuzgon Wild, perhaps one could say.

Starting point is 01:25:46 Hey, hey, what's up there? She's on your pussy! Hey, your pussy's on black beans! Yo, your pitos are black beans! Doom! DOOM! Hespanic frenzy, so you're just out there with the Hispanics. What's going on? Tell us about it. I had sex with three different guys named Angel in one month. Oh my god.

Starting point is 01:26:19 That's not, it's not called running train. It's just a regular sized car. There's a lot of people in it. That's not, it's not called running train. It's just a regular sized car. There's a lot of people in it. Damn, I didn't know angels go to hell, too. That's incredible. Founders' cupid, am I right? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:38 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So stupid. This is the dumbest show of all time. Three angels in a month, so tell us more. Describe what's going on here. Tell us. You want to know about the angels?

Starting point is 01:26:53 Yes, anything. Keep going. Any angels, salvadors, fuckin' mehows. Okay, so angel, I met on live links. What's live links? You call in this number and then you talk to guys old school This is like from the 90s or something. Yeah, are you still a de-madness knows what it is? Blink yeah 1 800 live links. Yeah Okay So so he's like yeah, he's on fentanyl tonight everybody for the first time he's like, yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:25 He's on fentanyl tonight everybody for the first time. He's experimenting. I'm kidding, do you? We know you're not on fentanyl. Yeah, so. Okay, dude, let's keep listening then. Chatti Bachelot. So Angel was like, come to Dallas.

Starting point is 01:27:39 I'll give you gas money, pay for a hotel. I get to Dallas. Didn't get any gas money. He asked me to pay for a hotel. I get to Dallas, didn't get any gas money, he asked me to pay for the hotel. And then he said he'd Venmo me for some plan B and he fucking didn't. So I was like, I was like $300 out. That was like an expensive Mexican hooker. Yeah, that is incredible. You got fucking. I got fucked. Yeah. That is incredible. Andy came fucking... I got fucked! Yeah. That is incredible. Andy came inside of you? He didn't even.

Starting point is 01:28:08 He didn't even. He didn't even. But he still made you get plan B, because he's so Latino that he thought he could have gotten you pregnant, even though he pulled out. That is a true Hispanic. Angels do miracles, so... Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:19 Yeah, you were touched by an angel. That is absolutely amazing. You drove all the way to Dallas. Was the sex good? Yeah, he was a sadist. And he fucked me in the mirror and he wanted to call me Daddy. Oh. He wanted me to call him Daddy. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. And then he fished up to my mouth and he was like,

Starting point is 01:28:48 wanted me to look at himself in the mirror at myself. This is amazing. Keep going. So it's like, this is great. This is what I want every interview to be like. There's so much information. Don't stop. So I went like this.

Starting point is 01:29:01 Silly faces with daddy. Oh my god. OK. Wow. I Would have expected that from Robin Shran earlier, but not you Amazing tell us more tell us more about these amazing experiences. I love this. This is a Teresa's sex stories Second angel was a guy from Bumble in San Marcos He he yeah San Marcos. He, yeah, San Marcos.

Starting point is 01:29:27 Drove to him again. You drove to him? Yes, I drove to him. Look at you. I am a man. So I fucked him in his hamster dorm room. And he had the lights on with these crazy eyes the whole time. I didn't come. He did twice.

Starting point is 01:29:46 And some of the com got in my eye. And he made me leave it 3 AM with a fucked up eye. And it was terrible. Oh my god. Like crazy guys. Crazy guys. Crazy show alone. So so far, two angels have made you drive.

Starting point is 01:30:07 Yeah, but actually the third did too. Oh my God, here we go. Let's talk about the third angel here we go. Oh. Okay, so angel three, which is his name in my phone. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 01:30:23 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, what? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm not even lying. It's literally Angel 3. Brilliant. What's it?

Starting point is 01:30:33 So I drive like 45 minutes to Angel 3. And he has this like degenerative back hunchback condition. Oh, mine. Oh, mine. Oh, mine. Oh, mine. And uh. Oh, oh, oh.

Starting point is 01:30:51 Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. This is like when you hear like dating an L.A. is hard. It's like, uh, have you met my friend Teresa? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Teresa Okay, it's getting her so and at this point I think I had like given out like eight orgasms in a row from like you know four different guys or whatever and And so we have sex and neither of us come because he has to go to a birthday party That is so Hispanic. That is incredible.

Starting point is 01:31:26 But I respected it. And the next time we fucked, then he goes, oh, I just want you to know, I've never cheated on my girlfriend before, but until now with you. Was that after he came in your eye or in your pussy? No, that was Angel 2. Don't get him next stuff. Angel 3 told you afterwards that he cheated on his girlfriend. Yeah, I didn't know he had a girlfriend.

Starting point is 01:31:49 Why would he tell you that, do you think? I don't know. It was her birthday. Ah. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too, you know what I'm saying? The old chocolate cake is your pussy's covered in shit, that's a callback. I thought it was a kids party and he just showed up cocked and loaded Unbelievable three angels do we have a can you name some other names of this?

Starting point is 01:32:11 The next day I was Mexican with his name was John. That was kind of oh Mexican John Okay, tell us about Mexican John also live links. He picked me up He picked me up. We, we, we, wow. Oh, hello. That is my new favorite sound effect, by the way. Let's go. I can't believe we found a new one here. It took three angels for us to find the Holley Louie button for the first time in ten years.

Starting point is 01:32:40 Amazing. Yeah, so then he took me to that like outlook that looks over the city, smokes some weed, grabbed my ass. Then we went to his car. We went to like 15 different hotels that were all booked, ended up in a parking lot, and then... Backseat. So you end up in a parking lot,

Starting point is 01:33:00 are you guys in the front seats, the back seat, what do you do? And this car was like the biggest piece of shit You could even imagine right yeah Red band in the zone right now Yes Okay, so you're in the front seat of his car. What happens stick shift automatic automatic? Okay, yeah, and you crawl over he comes over to you

Starting point is 01:33:28 You put the seat back what goes on here a lot of people are confused He let me taste his leche Whoa, that's basically Mexican third base But he let's be that don't know once you try the leche you Once you try the leche, you... Okay. Turn into his bitchy. Sometimes I can't compute the setup that I force myself to... Brrr.

Starting point is 01:33:52 Once you try the leche, you turn into his bitchy. Yeah, there you go, absolutely. You kept thinking about it. I force myself to have a half a second there, so you got it. Yeah, that sex. Somehow the condom came off. Whoa. And then what else happened?

Starting point is 01:34:11 Oh, and that's when he finished in my mouth. Ah, the old switcheroo, absolutely. The old Dalcene. I did the leche. That's how they're sneaking in the country, all right. But he didn't, but I didn't come, so I, we never talked again. Have you ever been with a black man before? Um, actually I recently fucked a half black comedian.

Starting point is 01:34:38 Oh, half black. Oh, he's been on the show. Half black. Half black. Yeah. Half black. Half black. Half black. Yeah. Half black. Is that a rubber duck? Half black.

Starting point is 01:34:50 Yeah. Tell us about the half black. So the half black was totally not my type. You know, should I say him, he's been on the show. No, no, no, don't say it. Don't say it. No, we don't want to know which half-black comedian is. That's the same no jumper, what the fuck?

Starting point is 01:35:08 Sorry, that's nitching. Am I snitching? Am I triggering you? Is it him? So anyways, I was not attracted at all, but he asked me to come to his house. And I'm just curious about people's houses, but curiosity killed the cat, you know, yes it did absolutely it was actually reparation sex it was a Juneteenth

Starting point is 01:35:31 Wow Okay That's not repart your Chinese lady I'm half white. I've got some skeletons in my closet. Okay. He's half white. What the f*** is the reparations? Then any of this?

Starting point is 01:35:51 So, I wasn't trying to f*** him, but we're... But... How did he end up... How could he possibly end up being... Having the ability to get inside of your very openable pants? What did he do that if you didn't want to fuck him? How did he end up winning you over? We were talking about who massage is each other better.

Starting point is 01:36:11 I was in his bed, he was assaging me. And that's not where it happened. Oh, he had a bed. This is an unbelievable breakthrough. It was the hallelujah when you need it. This is the first guy you've mentioned that had his own bed. Oh, yeah. So, he's trying to get it all night.

Starting point is 01:36:31 Finally, at like 4 a.m. he puts my hand on his big black cock. Wow, so his cock is the black part. Yeah, yeah, I'm the half black. I'm used to... This episode brought to you by half black. Half black. That's a... The way you said half black opened up a part of my brain.

Starting point is 01:36:52 Half black. I'm used to... I'm used to my little Chinese brother doing that, not a big black brother. Wait, what? What? Okay, relax, relax. It's enough.

Starting point is 01:37:04 What? I'm used to my little Chinese brother doing relax, relax. It's enough. What? I'm used to my little Chinese brother doing that, not a big black brother. OK. So was that the best sex that you've had? The half black? Well, I was actually falling asleep here and there. Oh, was it Bill Cosby?

Starting point is 01:37:21 And you know. And, um, I would wake up. I would wake up while he was trying to fuck me, and I'd be like, I'd had a dream! I had a dream! Oh, you son of a bitch. But to finish the story, to finish the story, it lasted 30 seconds. 30 seconds! Ah! Then you had to finish the story. It lasted 30 seconds. 30 seconds, awww.

Starting point is 01:37:47 Then you had to go to work. Wow. Damn. I don't know. Wait, sister Chinese, did he come back 30 seconds later? The fuck was that? I was. Alright. You know what? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, about one more time for Teresa McAdam everybody. Alright, we have one last bucket pool.

Starting point is 01:38:28 We're gonna get through it real quick. We're running into overtime. Make some noise to your final bucket bowl tonight. Alex Reyes everybody. Here we go. In and out Alex Reyes after an 18 minute interview with Teresa McAdam. Come on everybody, your final bucket bowl tonight. One more time for Alex everybody. It's people wait for hours for this. I'm 38 years old, I'm going back to school. I'm taking a DWI class. I don't know if they're going to do it.

Starting point is 01:39:03 Okay last year I went to upgrade my phone at T-Mobile. The lady says, it's T-Mobile Tuesday. We're giving away stuff. Everybody gets a pair of socks. The socks are rainbow because we're celebrating pride. They have the T-Mobile logo. All you have to do is go on your phone. I said, ma'am, I don't want the socks.

Starting point is 01:39:18 She said, why are you homophobic? Do you have something against gay people? I said, no, ma'am, not at all. I just don't want anybody to know that I have team mobile. I've been saving a lot of money by switching to self checkout. Very funny. Alex Reyes. This is your first time on the show, correct? Yes sir, first time.

Starting point is 01:40:00 Very, very funny man. How long have you been doing stand-up? On and off since 2017. I love it. Thank you. It's easy. Very, very funny man. How long have you been doing stand up on an offsense 2017? I love it. It seems like you're hilarious great timing great fucking everything Totally clean Matthew Prasad. Yeah, just clean just want to know that was a totally clean set. Yeah amazing that you can come in clean after a Check just talked about shit in their pussy for 15 minutes It's unbelievable. He did it with a smart well-executed, well-timed jokes. What do you do for work? I go door-to-door, I set appointments for homeowners looking to go solar.

Starting point is 01:40:32 Okay. Hell yeah, absolutely. I'm not proud of it. T-Mobile has a wide range of networks. They actually use everybody's, they use all the antennas. You know that They have like the but the actually Tony the latest reports are they're the fastest mobile provider out of all on like times five I've been loyal to T-Mobile for a very very long time. They are the I've left Verizon I've left Sprint. I've been with them all with a horrible breakups every single one of them T-Mobile been with them all with a horrible breakup every single one of them. T-Mobile, honestly, I mean,

Starting point is 01:41:05 and maybe you don't go on the road a lot, but if you travel T-Mobile's unbelievable. I believe I'm present. Are they a spelt? No, they're not. They're just the positive. Totally not. Your joke, it seems like you wrote it

Starting point is 01:41:16 like 30 years ago, almost. Like that's how, like, yeah, you got the wrong network. I think maybe sprint or something. Sprints terrible. But actually, yes, bot mobile uses everyone's things. Verizon's actually the worst right now. All around the world, when you turn on your T-Mobile phone, it's fucking, it's on. It's working. And other people are like,

Starting point is 01:41:37 fuck, are you getting reception? I'm like, yeah, you dork. Because it's T-Mobile. But I find it interesting. and it worked for you. You were able to sell it. But I just find it interesting because we're T-Mobile guys. And if you go to T-Mobile.com right now, and use the promo code PellTowney. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:41:55 You fucking. I am doing a speed test right now, and it's downloading at 430 megabytes right now on the network. 500 now, look at that. The nerd from Iowa just came in his pants. What's that with? I use horizons, should I consider switching?

Starting point is 01:42:10 Oh, yes. So this is for us. And if you switch right now using the promo code Killtony, you get, they buy you a new iPhone plus $200 free for your first month. Yeah, a new iPhone? Yes, a new iPhone only at tmobile.com, t-m-o-b-i-l-e.com.

Starting point is 01:42:28 This is a bucket commercial. What's happening right now? Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Yep, yep. So tell us more about your life, Alex. You seem so balanced and centered.

Starting point is 01:42:44 It's absolutely incredible I find you to be an anomaly in these crazy insane bucket pool times post-pandemic It seems like everybody's a little bit crazier than normal and you're just right here riding the wave No shaky legs super calm in the moment waiting waiting taking your time You're not just forcing an answer down everybody's throats embarrassing yourself your calm your cool your casual tell us more Today's my birthday Stop What are you doing to celebrate other than this Teresa?

Starting point is 01:43:21 Ha ha ha! What are you doing to celebrate other than this? Teresa? Yeah! Hell yeah, dude! Oh, you can get that for sure! Oh yeah, you can sprint right into her verisons! You know, T-Mobile Tuesdays, every Tuesday gives you free things like free ice cream cones, Wendy's hamburgers, it's like your birthday every week.

Starting point is 01:43:50 And if you have the new at-home internet package, tell us more about you Alex, it's your birthday. Ask away. Are you in love currently? You straight? No, I'm single, I'm straight, I guess. Straight and single, you guess? Hell yeah, this guy's down to fuck.

Starting point is 01:44:11 Oh, crap. Well, if he was that wrong about T-Mobile, he might be questioning other things now. It's true. T-Mobile, she-mobile, what does it matter? So I actually did that joke on video on a real, it didn't go viral. But a very famous comedian who's openly gay text messaged me and said, that is a very great joke.

Starting point is 01:44:38 And I wanted to let everybody know I wanted to screenshot it and share it to everybody on online. But then I'm like, people are going to start asking questions. They're going to be like, well, why do you have a gay comedian in your phone like that? Or are you? And then I'm like, well, fuck, maybe I am homophobic. You're a funny guy.

Starting point is 01:45:07 His name is Todd Glass. Ah, we love Todd Glass. It's a legend of the Kiltoni universe, one of our dear guests. And he's listed in your phone as openly gay comedian? Well, he's under Todd Glass. I picked him up from the airport and we became friends. Oh yes, indeed. Absolutely. Absolutely. What's the gayest thing you've ever done? I had my ass grabbed on my way out of a Jeep.

Starting point is 01:45:34 Oh, wait, Todd grabbed your ass? A guy grabbed my ass. No, not Todd. Not at all. Okay. Todd, not at all. OK. You live by yourself? Yes, sir. Weirdest thing in your refrigerator right now. Think about it. Take your time.

Starting point is 01:45:55 Maybe it's in the door. Maybe it's in the crisper. Maybe it's in the little butter holder on the top. Strawberries that are molded? Oh, very good. Very good very good. You have any special skills or talents other than being a very funny comedian? I used to be able to play the guitar.

Starting point is 01:46:15 You used to be able to what happened? I lost my pinkies. How did you lose your pinkies? Vaccine side effects? So I have a... Oh, that's actually a surprise. I have a MS, so I have trouble in my hands. No, you started it, no? Yeah. Wish MS, 13, 12, 11. You you started it. Yeah, wish MS 1312

Starting point is 01:46:49 Alex, thank you so much an amazing performance sign up again come back sometime, okay? Here's a big joke book Alex Leaving with a big joke book leaving with a jail blaster Alex Reyes and so that is that. And only now in our final moments do we realize the true power of the dark side. This battle station is fully operational, and it ends with one big red machine. Ladies and gentlemen, the record holder for SETS DONE, interviews done all time. The only living member of the Killtony Hall of Fame is here. Austin Zone, William Montgomery. Nice to be back from the big island.

Starting point is 01:48:00 I have to be honest, I'm actually the balding orange-headed man who kidnapped Corley Russell and Alabama last week. She was telling the truth, don't get mad at her, that's not a joke. Coming to it was me. Imagine thinking to yourself, you know what animal scenes the most ninja-like and coming up with turtles. goals. That'd be like trying to come up with the perfect protagonist for a video game and going, yeah, let's make him a plumber.

Starting point is 01:48:39 And then when that for no explainable reason becomes successful rather than going a different direction. You brainstorm and create a sibling who also happens to be a plumber. Genius! Kids love plumbers! Was taxidermists already taken? Anybody else think it's weird master shredder gets his funding from George Soros? What's going on in the sewers down there? Okay, that's my time. Wow, I mean time after time. Somehow, apparently getting stronger and stronger somehow. It is unbelievable. The man that could come in and come in week, he could come in, he could take a night off and go, I've already done so much, but instead boom, time after time, laugh after laugh, the volume level, the amount of punchlines, the energy, the excitement, the connection. I mean, look at the way he stares these people.

Starting point is 01:49:45 Directly in the eyes, everyone in innocent victim of his- Look at me, bitch. You better look at her. Thank you, bitch. This is for you. And Tony, I'm excited. Nicole came up here doing her new merch. I actually, this is some of my new merch.

Starting point is 01:50:04 I've made tan peanut characters Say Hawaii so I'll be selling them after the show is well. Oh wow tan peanut characters. There's like the Belize guy Belisable Incredible Yeah, looks just like a Exclusive William Montgomery merch. I love it. How was Hawaii? Tell us about it. We missed you last week. Yeah, Hawaii was wonderful. I actually I stayed a little longer because Tony I'm gonna be an actor now. They casted me in a remake of Rescue 9-1-1. They're gonna start doing a Rescue 9-1-1 in Hawaii. I'm gonna be the driver of the ambulance

Starting point is 01:50:47 So I'm super excited. We already started shooting. I have to go back in a couple weeks, but super excited It seems like it could be a good opportunity for me. That is so exciting So you're the ambulance driver for rescue 911 the old classic show Yeah, I'm sorry bringing up that reference. I've been working on not doing the older references Tony. I'm very sorry. I can't I can't stop doing that. What's funny over there, friend? I can't stop doing. What are you doing? Why are you slapping yourself like that? It's some new thing I'm trying. Sometimes it makes people laugh not all the time. Every time you do it

Starting point is 01:51:28 there's a weird sound do it again. Yeah every now and again it kind of makes a sound but not all the time but sometimes. But seriously sometimes I do this. That was too fast. In Tony, I have some really good news. My hemorrhoid, it's been about three or four weeks now. It's finally getting better. It's a size... Wow.

Starting point is 01:52:00 It's a size of a little grape now. So that's much better than the tennis ball deal I had out there. So it's getting better, Tony. Wow. Amazing. You're coming back from Hawaii super refresh with what seems to be super powers right now. What else happened out there that think, why do you think you're coming in so strong?

Starting point is 01:52:27 I don't know, I actually this time I did get a new tattoo and I'm starting to really feel the powers of the Looney Tunes. I got a fall corn leghorn. Wow. Woo! Woo! Incredible. Cost me $5,000.

Starting point is 01:52:42 So. Wow, why did you pay so much money for it? Um, because I was thinking when I was in Hawaii, the doctors were telling me, don't go, because your skin cancer, but I'm just getting to the point. I think you've been here as well before Matthew Brasard, but just getting to the end of my fucking rope, dude. I think you were that way a couple years ago or something,

Starting point is 01:53:03 so we share that in common. Yeah, I was just at the end of my fucking rope dude. I think you were that way a couple years ago or something so we share that in comedy. I was just at the end of my fucking rope. Just do I jump off this building, this fucking building. I think you were in a similar situation like three years ago or something. And you talked me out of it. I did talk him out of it. He was a fucking pussy. I thought he was gonna do it. But I'm glad he didn't. What did you say to... What did you... What did you... What did you say to him to talk him out of killing himself? Matthew, come on, you know I love you, dude! No! No!

Starting point is 01:53:35 We briefly dated, Tony. I don't know if Matthew wanted me to say that, but yeah, it's like a lover's quarrel, he almost fucking jumped off. I was like, Matthew, stop, man, you know what I love your words. Matthew, you know I love your words. William's a wild boy. Matthew, is this true that you guys had a lover's quarrel? It was a short but fervorous twist. Ah, more lustful than anything, but I'll never forget.

Starting point is 01:54:09 Yeah, I mean, that happened. I was listening to that slut who was up here a couple people ago. Yeah, a couple times I came in about 30 seconds or something and it was... Okay, let's move on. Very, very interesting so now that you're back to Austin Texas what do you have any plans or anything else going on sweet little dogs still good still doing good still kiss and her tummy non-stop all the time kiss and her tummy with my tongue, buyer butt.

Starting point is 01:54:45 She loves it, I love it, my butt's better. Luckily, I started putting grape juice on it. The yellow grape juice. Did someone do a doctor tell you to do that? Dr. Threckled. Dr. Freckled? Dr. Threckled. Threckled.

Starting point is 01:55:04 That's your actual doctor? Yeah, Dr. Threckle. What else? Why is that funny fucking idiot? I'm bombing up here right now, dumbass! I'm having a real hell of a time up here! I tried to do the gay thing with you that didn't really work out and then you're laughing at me like that you piece of shit I Think you're doing fantastic. Well, thank you Tony you guys think Williams doing good up here Why didn't you clap bitch I Why didn't you clap, bitch? I can see everything that's going out there right now. Thank you, thank you. Thank goodness.

Starting point is 01:55:54 Things are up and up. You're about to go on the tour with me. That starts in two weeks. Very excited. I'm actually driving an hour tomorrow. I'm finally...well, I've started the process. It'll be fine, but I'm finally getting my passport tomorrow. I have to drive an hour away. And then I'm,

Starting point is 01:56:10 Why are you driving an hour away? I'm paying some guy $500. I went seriously. I went, I tell you that I have a guy for that. It might be the same guy. I gotta face somebody else. This office is like three blocks from here. I have to drive an hour.

Starting point is 01:56:23 I have to wake up at seven in the morning and drive an hour, but I'm gonna be able to get up. This sounds very suspicious. This lady's gotta go read somebody's fortune right now. Jesus. She looks like a gypsy. Yes. Indeed. We're a good team.

Starting point is 01:56:40 We should do a comedy together sometime. Let's do it. OK. An hour away from a passport. Where did you find this human from? From Nick. Oh, wow. You're going to end up.

Starting point is 01:57:03 Yeah, we're going to have to take somebody else to Canada. I guess Janice is free. Oh, maybe Janice can do it. That would be exciting. I'm gonna get it to Teresa who said that It was that lady right there the one behind the Belize guy I'll get the passport Tony as word of God. I I'm getting it. Again, I have to pay him $500 fucking dollars with a money order and it's kind of sketchy, but I'll get it. Is there anything else you want to tell this audience? Tell these people that love you so much. You're saying perhaps something passionate from the heart. Again, I will be right out front after the show. I have these new t-shirts. I'm super excited about it.

Starting point is 01:57:45 And just remember, I never go, stop loving the culture. Oh, yeah. That is still. Never in a million years will I stop loving the culture. How loud can this place get for the one and only William Montgomery everybody? The drawing from Ryan J. E. Belt is in from Los Angeles. That's on your screen right now.

Starting point is 01:58:15 Thank you to Gelblaster Red Rose Yellow Rose. CM SmokehouseCMHUS.com, Connect Mobile Health for your IB drips. And of course, screw ball peanut butter whiskey. How loud can this place get for the great Brian Moses? Follow him at Rose Battle. This is the creator of Rose Battle. At Monday, Monday, Matthew Bressard,

Starting point is 01:58:32 right here everybody makes some nice a mad bill. exclusive kill Tony merch available in the lobby and also very limited edition Nicole Tran merch. How about one more time for the great Michael Gonzalez on the drums? Here's some local art from the great Chris Rogers art. That's Paul Deemer on the horns. Oh great painting of Janice everybody. One of one. Make some noise for Matt Neulling on the electric guitar. And one more time for Demandence everybody. We did it again Red Band.

Starting point is 01:59:07 Check out the secret show every Thursday at the Sunset Strips, SunsetStrip ATX.com. Love you. Very few tickets still available for the HEP Center on New Year's Eve, the biggest show we've ever done. It's gonna be a lot of shows that we can New Year's Eve here in Austin, Texas. A lot of other huge fun announcements coming up. A lot of exciting stuff.

Starting point is 01:59:27 Go to Kill Merch.com and some new drops happening there. Should already be there by the time you hear this episode. All right, good night everybody. Thank you so much. We love you. Thank you. Bye-bye! 1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1.5-1. ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thanks for watching! you you

KILL TONY - #623 - BRIAN MOSES + MATTHEW BROUSSARD

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