KILL TONY - #636 - RON WHITE + PAULY SHORE

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

Ron White, Pauly Shore, Kam Patterson, Paul Deemer, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, Hans Kim, William Montgomery, Jon Deas, Matthew Muehling, Joe White, Kristie Nova, Yoni, Kino Loasis, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – 11/06/2023THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:Get $15 off a Skylight Calendar at https://SkylightCal.com/TONYSupport the show by going to https://www.hellofresh.com/ktshowfreeand using code KTSHOWFREESupport the show and download the Gametime app. Save $20 off your 1st purchase with the code KILLTONYSupport the show and get 20% off and free shipping athttps://www.manscaped.com and use code killtony

Hey, this is RedBan and you're listening to the Desquad Podcast Network. This episode and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at Desquad.tv. All are merch can be found for Kill Tony at Kill Merch.com. Tony's on a brand new Tories going all over the place to check out TonyHinchcliff.com for everything Golden Pony. And last but not least, don't forget I have a new comedy club called the Sunset Strip. We have a bi-weekly show with the Killtony band and the secret show is every single Thursday Get Tickets at SunsetStrip ATX.com.

And now a brand new episode of Killtony. Tony. Hey, this is RedVade coming to you live from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony, get up for Tony Hitchcane! It's KEN! Fuck yeah! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives tonight, huh? YABEE! Mixed noise for Red Band, everybody! We're doing it again! So the number one live podcast in the world, Kilt Tony brought to you by gel blaster the red rose yellow rose connect mobile

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You guys ready to start tonight's show? You know, the thing is becoming quite its own monster and I book it out every single week myself based on what you guys have seen lately and what's to come. And I love this episode. These are two absolute veterans of the show. And I mean elder statesmen to the extreme, two of the lords of comedy, two of the all-time Yeah, the great Rod White The reason Now, a little fun fact about this amazing esteemed panel is that the great Ron White is the reason why we are all here tonight in Austin, Texas. He started it. He started it. He got Joe here. He got me here. We told everybody else the rest is history. And the newest resident of Austin, Texas is Polly is Paulie Shaw. We got another one.

The just got engaged to Drew Barrymore last week. Breaking news. Drew Barrymore's fiance, Paulie Shaw. He's got his new jam in the van show hosted by Paulie Shaw on YouTube. And it is a hit. Drew just took some fucking ayahuasca, bro. Oh, I'm, I need a fucking bucket, dude. You have a fucking bucket, bro.

I'm gonna bucket. Right, try to have your man. He'll tell me, fuck it. Don't worry about these people. Well, you're going to names, you're going to names. Most of them are already covered in vomit. And the great Ron White is back, ladies and gentlemen. He's back on tour, tatersalad.com.

This motherfucker threw a retirement party six months ago. Yeah, what happened? I thought you quit. I thought you quit. You threw a retirement party, and now he's back on tour. He never stopped working at all. He was working in Austin the entire time. We just threw, I might have a retirement party next week. It just did not do the mothership. You know, I was just sick of all the travel, man, after 37 years of

doing 120 to 140 cities a year. And I just, and I was, I hated that so much. I was letting that bleed into stand-up comedy. I just wanted, I just wanted to do it anymore. And when I told Joe that he was like, fuck you. What do you, I'm going to build a club. We're going to do it every night. We're going to be a blast. And you're going to find out how much you love it again. And so the last nine or ten months, I've spent performing for the best audiences in the country, which are my friends right here in Austin, Texas, where live. And I'm, oh, come.

What makes you like this particular thing? What makes you like this particular thing? Oh, okay. You can catch Polly hosting his new show on YouTube. Called Jam in the van. There's a little taste of it right there. Polly is the host. I wish I already knew the answer. I would just say it. What makes the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, the van, van, the van, van, the van, the van, the van, it what makes the bad with bad bad bad bad bad

Why do you like this the best venue for real? Oh Well because of well there's a few things number one there's two the word what there's two rooms there's There's a small room in the back and there's a green room upstairs Which is a kind of a highly restricted small room in the back and there's a green room upstairs, which is kind of a highly restricted hang. And that's the funnest thing in the world to sit in there and you can come in and do four sets and I have you want to.

And but the hang there of just the peers and the tribal part of it is just throwing around ideas for jokes and talking about the business of stand-up comedy and also the future in the past of and recognizing what's happened before we got here and also putting tons of work into new guys finding those people that have given them a microphone and nobody's done more for that than this young man right here Tony Hedgecliff Oh yeah, put in a microphone in the hand and we're doing it tonight

and he's right two rooms we got mitzies named after Polly's mom Yeah, can I say something? I'm gonna let you know. Don't have to ask if you can say something, Polly. It's not that. I don't want to disrespect because I'm moving here, bro. You know, they might after this performance, they might tell me to dispatch and not come back.

Yeah. No, but for real, the reason why I particularly want to move here to Austin because as a stand-up comic, it is the only club in America where you can actually create your stuff on stage. 110% without thinking anything behind you is going to happen because as you know, this day and age, people film shit they put out here for Joe. He created such a beautiful thing for everybody. So I want to come here and just create comedy and that's what's the best part about this place. Absolutely. In other words, phones are locked up. You did so much better with that sentence than you did the first one.

You rocked that sentence man, you did. You're the best sentence ever. Yeah, well, the venue is the best venue. What do you think about that? Well, luckily you guys have been on the show multiple times, Polly and Ron, and over 200 human souls signed up for the chance to be on this stage tonight. Can I say this one more thing without disrupting?

You don't have to ask. No, nice. It's getting kind of crazy because it's been, at this pace, you're going to do this 75 times tonight. You've done it twice in the first four minutes. No, his show started at my mom's club 10 years ago in the belly room. No one was fucking there.

No one was there. No one was around and he developed it and it's pretty fucking awesome. So I've known him when he first came out to the commissar where he was answering phones and looking for like pennies and shit I was looking for just the things just to make ends meet You got the cat the cat is 60 seconds Paulie. Oh shit. I didn't know a little bit long for I thought it was a bull All right a bull sound anyway, so I pull a name out of the bucket

They get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know their time is up and you hear the sound of a kitten. That means they have to wrap it up or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear, which just interrupts them. And then I interview them and I ask them questions. And if you guys have anything you want to input or you guys, any wise sage advice from two of the all-time greats, you guys know how it works though. You guys ready to start tonight's fucking episode or what?

Here we go and we shall start it with a bang, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to pre-pull the person that will follow one of our favorite regulars in the history of the show, this guy fresh off of a weekend of sold out theaters with me, lots of momentum, makes some noise for the great and powerful Hans Kim everybody. Hey, what's up guys? Sad to hear that the great Matthew Perry died alone in a hot tub, you know, for a guy on a show called Friends, he could have used a couple.

Who knew the opening credits were his cry for help? I recently ghosted a girl because she was too sunburned. Yeah, she got left on red. LAUGHTER Women are crazy. We all know this. Women are always into murder documentaries. They like to watch people losing their life. Men were more positive. We like to watch people creating life. LAUGHTER

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, man. Thank you. Welcome again, Hans. Thank you, Tony. That was fun. How do you feel? I feel great. I had a great weekend with you guys. I enjoyed our time together. I think William might have a drinking problem, but other than that, it was great.

What do you mean? He likes to drink a lot and then he peas in little bottles. There's like a bathroom right there he just loves peeing in bottles. Did he pee in a bottle? He tried to. Wait, what do you mean? When we were in the car going to Sacramento. When I stopped him?

You stopped him, yeah. No, yeah, I heard that. Yeah. They were way, I was in the front. They were way, way, way in the back of the Sprinter Band. And it was, I heard William say to Hans, like, well, what was it exactly? It was like, can I pour some of this in there? Yeah.

You're like, the dry, it was only like an hour and a half dry, but that's the crazy part. Everybody's afraid. A fun fact is that everyone that tours with me is afraid to say that they have to go pee because I always say that it slows us up. I'm a real fucking piece of shit on the road. Nightmare. Nightmare to deal with.

I don't pee. Why are you peeing if I'm not peeing? And I'm like the main guy. Red man as well. Oh yeah. It's a non-peer. Yeah, I could do it. It's not pee for like 12 hours.

Exactly. You got, it's the podcast way. Welcome to the business. Redban as well. Oh yeah. It's a non-peer. Yeah, I could not peep for like 12 hours. Exactly. You got it. It's a podcast way. Welcome to the business. Looks like you've not been peeing for six years. You shh.

What? You shh. You're saying the redban's filled with piss? Jesus. Hot. Well, you know, he likes yellow things. Whoa. A reference to his Asian girlfriend. That's right. Oh, you know, he likes yellow things. Whoa! A reference to his Asian girlfriend.

That's right. Oh, he's got an Asian girlfriend and he's got a white girlfriend. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. We swap out once in a while, but... Okay. All right. Jesus Christ. Haunt, when you started dating your white girlfriend, was that after you became famous? Yes, of course. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha was a joke, the Matthew Perry friend's thing was good. Thank you. Very good. And then there was a women watch murder documentaries

and men watch porn. Okay. Do you still watch porn? I watch a lot of it. You do. Yes. You watch it alone. Alone by myself with my dick in my hand.

Wow, okay, yeah. What's your favorite type of porn? Probably tickling or spanking or What your icon when he says search what do you search for I search for Japanese massage shrimp aphrodisiac Absolutely absolutely I love at Hans Business is a boom and for Hans Kim. You have more stuff coming up, right? More dates. I'm into coma next week, which will already be over, but she's spooking on coming up

and then, you know, other places. It's on my website. Go check it out. What's your website? BobbiLead.com. She's so hot. So before we were, when we were upstairs, I asked him if he brought his girlfriend to the Warfield show this week and you said what I said no Tony said what? He said not cool news But then to come away to come a you asking him

What are you doing? I asked the questions you sit back and hit it. What did I say hit what? Hit the button when it goes. No, no, no, no Oh the bear right again Polly show which you guys can be some of the first viewers of I'm sure It's the jam in the van show hosted by Polly Shore. You have anything on YouTube. You can watch why not watch Polly again The jam in the van show he's I love you Polly. I'm just kidding. Don't be sad. All right, good.

It's fucking Monday night where I killed Tony and my the fucking Austin Texas. Yeah. We got still a couple tickets left for the stadium show over the January 1st. Who's we? Who is we, Polly? Hans, anything else you want to say, any more input? I was talking to my British friend and he kept talking

about Peter Files. They're not that bad, Peter Files. And I was like, who's Peter Files? And he's like, oh, it's pedophiles. So that's like your left-on-red joke right there. That's a little, Wow. What was that? Yeah, what's happening? Hans is getting a little fucking corny without these challenges and shit.

Are you ready for Rick Diaz on your receive? I'm ready for Rick. Fuck Rick, fuck Rick. The biggest battle in Killtony history, Hans Kim versus Rick Diaz live. New Year's Eve. Hans, you did it again. You got to start. We got to get to this bucket. Thank you so much guys Hans Kim everybody I'm gonna pre-pull your second comedian And your first comedian out of the buckets and I you guys probably know how this goes

But we know Hans Kim anything can happen at this part. This is where we find new talent This is where we find no talent right now. It could be anything, anything in happen. Make some noise for Tony Siciliano. Tony Siciliano. There he is. Tony Siciliano. Hey, what's up Austin? My full name is Anthony Vincent Siciliano,

which is just a long way to say Guido. I'm fully aware that it looked like a douchebag. I look like I have a bumper sticker that says beast mode. And I still talk about my high school baseball stats. I love working out, just not at planet fitness, you know? Cause they give away free pizza on Mondays. That's like the opposite of what I'm trying to do, right? That's like if I went to church on Sunday and did a bump a coke with my priest on the way out. Are you

guys aware of all these awareness months, like, you know, women's, you know, health cancer, all these things, right? Do you guys know September is national childhood obesity awareness month? Me either, right? Did the obese children have a say in this? Because as an alumni of childhood obesity, I was aware I was fat every month. I was trying to fly under the radar, right? The metaphorical radar, of course, right? Like, if it was a real radar,

they'd be like, what's that fat kid doing under the radar? That's my time. Thank you guys so much. Yes. Tony, Saseleano. Welcome to the show, Tony. How are you? I'm great. How are you doing, man? Fantastic. Did that jacket come with your name?

And the crucifix and wife, Peter. I love it. Absolutely. So, Tony, where do you live? I'm from Florida. Visitor Austin, yeah. Okay. How long have you been? Yes. the sweet sound of Florida music everybody. There's a... Alright, so how long are you visiting for? So this is my fifth week in Austin?

Uh-huh. Oh for five? So far so this is the first night I've got on. This is great. You've signed up every week. Yes, we'll accept that the weeks weren't here, but yes. Yes, but yeah. He looks familiar to me actually.

Yeah. Like I've seen him before, yeah. Yeah. Where have you seen him? I'll tell you where. Where have you seen them? He was had a Palestine rally in Washington last night. You're fucking a liar. That's not how you speak. You cock sucker. These guys are all coming up with new Italian names now. Exactly. Three weeks ago he was Muhammad. Now he's Tony Sicilian. Oh, hey, what's up? Hey, it's been Tony.

I need a good fake Italian name. How about first one? Tony Sicilian. Do you think that's too much? No, no. Sounds terrible. My middle name is Vincent. And that's the most stereotypical fucking shit, right?

It's like my parents put names in a bucket, we're just like, yep, these are the ones, right? That's what that was awful. That's what I'm saying. It's like it's short for Guita or something. There we go. All right, how long you been doing stand-up comedy? Almost three years now.

And what do you do for living in Florida? Air condition repair? Don't repair. It's though, you hate the job. I just started a new job like a new business. Okay, what was the old job that you're afraid to make? Software sales. Oh, what a dork.

Yeah, exactly. Okay, what's the new job? I'm selling like political shirts for the election coming up. Okay, can you pitch some of the pitch some of the shirts? Yeah, yeah, so I, uh, you are a douche. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Just keep going through all your bad business ideas. That's called, that's terrible. That's called left shirt official. And it's blue shirts with white letters that say, left. So I'm just trying to capitalize on this game. What?

Yeah. Capitalize on the game. Yeah, absolutely. Are they selling at all? Nope. I have zero sales so far. Yeah, but it's a dream. It's doing almost as good as comedy.

Right. Right. What's your love life like, Tony, Sassiliano? I have a girlfriend. OK. How long you been with her? A little over two years. OK.

What does she do? She's also in software industry. OK. She takes care of customers after we have them, basically. I sell them. She takes care of them. Right. Yeah.

I don't know. All right. One cool fact about her. She's from Ukraine. Right. You know? Yeah. Oh, no. All right. One cool fact about her, she's from Ukraine. Actually, she was born there. OK. That's one of the fun facts. It's been an interesting fact, last year. Did you get a male or women-order bride type situation?

Yeah, yeah. Because I've seen on the internet, you can get Ukrainian women for very cheap, I'm just saying. In their hottest fuck. It was a good deal. She moved here when she was nine, yeah. Because I've seen on the internet you can get recreating women for very cheap, I'm just saying. In their hottest fuck. It was a good deal. She moved here when she was nine, actually. She's 10 now, but it's just fine. Oh, you son of a bitch.

Look, you snuck one in there. You snuck one in there. Can I say something about him? Say it, say it, baby. No. I think what podcast are you used to doing? Hey, Joe, can I say something? Like, what are you talking about? Chinese, I think. Fuck, say it. Chinese, I think you What? A podcaster you used to do it. Hey, Joe, can I say something? Like, what are you talking about?

Chinese, I think... What could say it? Chinese, I think you're likable. Okay. You think I'm likable? I'll do Chinese, and that you're likable, there you go. I look Chinese. No.

No, I just think you're likable. Oh, thanks, even though you have that gone free, so that's good. Thanks, Paul, I appreciate it. Yeah. I like you, too. All right. Easy pre-says. Is that a rubber ducky?

Okay. So, Tony, do you have any special skills or talents? Um, I'm really good at ordering food for a table at a time restaurant. Okay. That's something you get at. Yeah, I like to travel a lot. Something good at doing. Uh-huh.

You live with the Ukrainian girl? I do. Do you have a hard time like getting your own space or does she hold strong and not let you... Do you have to negotiate? I was not like a woman thing, but now I'm 20% of the center of the bed. I've been trying to blow my way through that space, but it's not going well.

You blew pretty hard tonight, my friend. Ha-ha-ha. Is she mad about the Israeli-Palestinian War because it's got first billing now over the Ukrainian Russian War, she's the undercard now. The main event is much more exciting. Ukrainian doesn't have an iron dome or anything like that. They just fucking take the missile straight to the heart. Just fucking no defense whatsoever. Just tin foil up there.

All right, well. Tony Sassiliano, I still can't believe how Italian your name is. What's your dad's name? Peter. Peter Sassiliano. Wow. Angelo middle, is that help a little bit? Okay.

What kind of penis are we working with? Italians are famous for... No bad reviews. Oh, there we go. Yeah, but a little tiny Ukrainian pussy. I mean, that's like no challenge with that. Is it an any or an Audi? After I cold-plunge, it's an inny, but mostly it's an outy.

But you have four skin on it? No, no. It's been circumcised. I didn't know that was in the ar outy, but yeah, no, it's an outy. I'm snipped. That's a Catholic thing. I think they do that like a church or something. There you go.

As they should. Yeah. That's the way to do it. Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Peter. Yeah, Peter. So when your girl goes down, she has to fold it down, right? Okay, Polly. Polly, I don't think you need too many more follow-up questions

for the circumcised thing. Is it coming out tonight? So it's like, let me ask you one more. There's like extra skin. All right, no, extra skin. Are you circumcised, Polly? Do we have to explain this to you? No, yeah, Polly had to do the whole rabbi suck-off thing with you, right? Just get the rabbi suck-off?

I don't know, I'm not Jewish anymore. I got, what's it called when he get converted? I'm deconverted. Yeah, you mean I do. We told him, if you want to move to Texas. So they sewed it back on? We told him if you want to move detect it. They sewed it back on. This show didn't need me.

There he is. I thought you came out and did a solid job. That's got to be nerve fucking racking to walk on this stage in front of this crowd of people. But you did it, you stared him down, you held the mic in the right spot. You've been doing it three years. So, you know, that's that you're moving along at a brief piece of play. Yeah, not easy to follow, Hans Kim. You're leaving here with the gel blaster and a big Kiltzone joke book, Tony Sussing on it. Everybody getting the show started. All right. We got another bucket pool coming at you. Let's see what happens here.

Mixed noise for Micah Brown, everybody. Micah Brown is next on Killton. There's Micah Brown, the Killtony debut. I do believe of Micah Brown. What's up guys? I know I look like Rasputin and Mr. Rogers had a baby, dude. But I've been thinking about becoming vegetarian. I thought that the perfect loophole to become a vegetarian. Anything can be a vegetable if you hit it in the head hard enough. So I'm my way here guys. I got mugged by a single father, dude. Nothing is more intimidating when a gun's in your face, when the gunman's also holding a baby, dude.

You know for a fact, this guy's not shooting blanks, dude. Alright, hell yeah, Micah Brown. Welcome to the show, Micah. I first saw you, I'm like, what's up with this Rasputin, Mr. Rogers guy, and then you said that. So welcome, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Talk right into the tip of that microphone. You're not on the streets anymore. Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... So how long you been doing stand up? I started in 2018. 2018, okay. So you've been doing it about five years. Yeah.

Right, where'd you start at? Dallas. Dallas. By the looks of things you were around a barrel fire and you started making your friends laugh Pretty much you look unbelievably homeless I mean that specifically like that jacket It's almost like and I see it's a Patagonia like it probably probably got a little price tag on it and whatnot

But I mean my god you ordered like the uh stole mean, my God, you ordered it like the... I stole it, I stole it. You stole it from Patagonia. Yeah. You steal a lot? Are you homeless? Because I kind of focused on the jacket, but I completely missed your face and head. I mean, you have a complete homeless head.

The jacket comes in second place, your extremely homeless head. You also have a complete homeless head. The jacket comes in second place. You're extremely homeless head. You also have a homeless left arm, it seems. Oh, it works. OK, it was just the way that it was hanging there. It appeared to be homeless as well. But I think it's an extreme makeover and cut his hair and shorten, put him in a nice suit and tie.

I think you'd be beautiful, Lucky. I clean up. I clean up. When I have a whole thing. A I clean up, I clean up, when I have a girlfriend or something, I clean up. Paulie Shore has an anti-homeless filter in his head. He can see who would be better, not homeless. Are you homeless?

I've slept in my truck and I live with my mom, so almost slept in your truck and you live with your mom. So you pull the truck into the garage and then how does that work? My mom was the man's field. It's the one I'm in Austin. Is it Charles Manson field? Because of what you look like? All right.

So what's your mom like? She's wonderful. She has a lot of dudes coming in and out of there. Not since I showed up. Since who? Since I showed up. Right. She's wonderful. She is a lot of dudes coming in and out of there. Not since I showed up. Since who? Since I showed up. Right.

Cock block McGee over there. Yeah. I get that. What kind of truck are you sleeping in F-150? It's a Tahoe. Ooh, okay. So I drive around a one bedroom apartment. Yeah, if you sleep in it, yeah, I guess.

Any car is a one bedroom apartment. Yeah, if you sleep in it, yeah, I guess any car is a one bedroom apartment. You sleep in it. A lot of people on this stage have slept in their car before. It is true. There's nothing wrong with that. I haven't been one of them. No, that is true. Well, it's not over yet, Paul.

I don't know. I'm not over yet. That's beautiful. I went just like to say this. To walk out on stage and ask this crowd who's already been in front of several comics and an amazing fucking band. How you doing? It's kind of a death move because the first line was pretty good. If you did just walk straight to that microphone and stare them down, and with confidence just said that first joke, the second joke was great. I don't even remember what it was, but yeah, the vegetable one, that was great.

That's the ball. You should open with that fucking joke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, but just stare them down. You don't need to ask them any questions about themselves. How are you doing? You're going to do that joke anyway. So just walk out, stare them down, do the joke, and, and, you know, five years seems like you'd know that, but. Thank you. You know, right? Just fear you're figuring that out, but still, you know, I think that if you just take that little piece of advice and run with it, you'll do fine and have a good time. Yeah, so much.

Yeah, great advice. Get to it. No needless questions. Why don't we give them one more try, just to pretend we didn't have to see that part? No. No, no, Paul. And then I'm open with a vegetable joke. It's fun. I'm gonna run the whole thing and then you could do your stuff on the jam in the van show on YouTube

Hosted by Polly Shore where anything anything poly wants to happen can happen. The possibilities are endless. Do you have a pigeon chest? Yes, I do, how do you know? Whoa, how did you know that? He just put his hand over his eyes and was like, do you have a pigeon chest? What kind of crazy talent is that?

Wait, because I saw that his chest is concave, bro. It goes in? You got it? It's got an ending. Hey man, you're paying too much attention to me. Yeah, that's weird. You want to see me with my shirt up? Yes.

I thought you never asked. Well, I mean, we might as well know. Oh my god. Oh my god. OK, we've done this before. Lay down on your back. I'm going to see how many tries it takes me to make a little joke book inside of your chest. This is a little fun game I like to play.

I never get to shoot things inside of people's chests. So, you know, win in Rome. All right, here we go. Looks like it was shot with a cannonball. Okay, right on the chest. Oh! Oh! Two! Two!

Woo! Not easy. Not easy. I'll take one of those back. I'll let you hold onto that one. Grab that microphone again. You ever get a girl back to your Tahoe? Absolutely not.

Really. I could never tell my mom about that. Because you kind of seem like you could, like, a drunk girl. You ever get a girl back to your Tahoe? Absolutely not. Really? I could never tell my mom about that. Because you kind of seem like you could, like a drunk girl, it seems like you could probably confuse them into thinking you're hot. Yeah. Because you're kind of... I have before.

You look like you're either extremely poor or extremely rich. It could go either way, depending on where you are. I'll tell you later. Loki doke. Ah. All right, well, you got a little jokebook. We're gonna keep it moving along. There goes Micah Brown, everybody.

The Killtony debut of Micah Brown. Applause. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. All right. We got a lot of bucket pulls to get through tonight, but let's do something special right now. The young man that I'm about to bring to the stage is an absolute fucking monster, everybody. I mean, started in June, took the show over by storm, immediately on his first scheduled appearance on the show went Super viral with his famous, I'm not retarded, but I like rocks.

I present to you one of the great regulars of the history of the show, the great ham Yeah, y'all believe it's so, ma'am. I believe it's so, ma'am. I believe it's so, ma'am. I believe it, but what would y'all do if y'all so, ma'am, it was ugly? Come on, so, ma'am. She got like a greater heart. Her heart won't be the best I ever seen in my life.

Her eyes too far apart. I was fucking with Siff, I said it for two years. Nobody told me shit. Next you all said, I was doing some one time right after that guy. I said, man, what would you do if those soul mate was ugly? And he was like,

I would just cut my eyes out. That's true love. Cause I just cheated the whole time. Amazing. Absolutely incredible. Love it all the way. Beautiful. You did it again. Come on, how's it going, Cam?

Good, man, I'm fucking life is great. You feel me? Oh, yeah. I can't even ask for nothing better. I'm just so happy. Absolutely. Yeah, happy shit. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, happy shit. Yeah.

Absolutely. Rockin' up. The extra comfortable look tonight, sweat pants, slides. Come on, oh, we outside, man. It's ain't shit. They would grind, are you feelin' me? Yeah. We grind.

We grind them. Yeah, you get a white man talk to me. Oh, hell yeah. Look at how white guy is. Look at that guy. He went for the fist bump afterwards and everything you'll fucking beaver pause look at you got excited you see his nose oh yeah his nose why you know so crooked look at that shit crazy hell yeah I'd imagine he's probably gotten punched in it from seeing how he high fives and how they scared some people

Hell yeah, look at that fucking door You know how to spot him you always have a good white eye. Oh, he wide his foot. Yeah That's probably an instinctual thing you guys are like on the lookout for the wonder people, right? He had it on a boat for show. Oh yeah, does your dad on a boat for show? He does. Oh my God, it's unbelievable. I don't believe it. Oh my God, I'm genius. He's got it. The kid has got it.

He doesn't like boats. He doesn't like boats. He doesn't like boats. Polly Hives, fuck man. Yeah. I owe him. I owe him. I owe him. I owe him. I owe him. Polly, how is fuck, man? Yeah. How is it? Ayahuasca was a bad idea. So, Cam, you're killing it.

Where were you about this week, huh? Chicago, this is Chicago, this is Anges. How'd that go? Man, that shit was crazy, bro. Yeah, our Hannibal Bears came to the show. And he did some time after me. So we talked for like a little minute. You know what I'm saying?

It was crazy. I mean, it was dope as fuck, bro. I love it. Do you talk your necklace in when you were down there? Oh, no, no, no, I Was at the comic club the whole time. I won't go around those screen nigga though. They do it. They do I'm a comedian. I don't do no screeching. I don't think far away from it. You know that very good. I Does comedy, Tony We should do a time lapse of cam every week to see how big his necklace grows. Oh, that bitch for the grown-up. Hey. Can I give you money too?

No, this bitch getting bigger. Best of me in that. I'm finna get me a bigger one soon. That's what a guy like him. I ain't even bout him on my mom's body. He's like, she can afford it. I'm finna buy me a... Ooh. It's calm.

Yo, yo, you fit and have beautiful skin, bro. Thank you, man. What the fuck is that supposed to be? He said he fit and has some beautiful skin. He what? Paul just see my aura right now. He only see a person no more Wait, you have you have a normal chast? Two nipples? Can we see your body, bro?

Take your shirt off. Paulie. Ladies, you want to see a sexy body? Yo, Chinese, he just started black.com. What's up? Yeah. Oh, shit. Why don't you want me to strip up here and see it?

This is crazy. No, I'm not gonna like can't do that. I'm not gonna like can't do that. For the white man, Pauli, that's fuck though, though. We in Texas now, nigga, it's not California. It's not California. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how you get jobs in LA. Take your shirt off. Yeah. You want to be on the jam in the van? What's your favorite thing about the van yet? Oh shit. Cam, everything else is good in life. You're a star. Yeah, everything else is good.

My dad's still going, wherever we go. You know what I'm saying? Cool to be able to do the role with him. You know, my dad liked 97, so it's good to get on the role with him. Why not 97? I just like saying he owe, he 64, so it's good for anybody. But it's cool that he gets to call me and see what's going on. He don't want the person that belief in it in the beginning.

So wait, they can't be on a road every week. It's kind of dope for me. You dad's coolest out. I talked to him on the phone once a week. Oh, yeah, he's having a hand under my wing. It's the first time I've had like a, it's basically like having an elite college athlete. Like his dad calls. He's like, all right, so we got this offer for this show.

What do you think we should do here? This agent, this manager, I just get constant. It's like, I'm part of the father show. Every time he call, he go, I'm just, Tony, fuck you, nigga. I'm just, I'm just, Tony, fuck you. I'm gonna fuck going on, bitch. I had Tony quite an answer.

It is so, so now that you're famous, you have siblings? I got siblings, I got siblings. Well, I've been had them, I've already had them before. So, I had no fuck you knew I would. So you have some family members that you didn't get along with before now that you're famous, now they're on your dick, or what? Oh, now I got a lot of family members, I just didn't know a lot that I was coming around.

I didn't come in around. Yeah, but that's what happens, you know, it lot of family with that. I just didn't know a lot that I was coming around. Yeah, coming around. Yeah, but that's what happens. You know, it's just our popping out. They're like, hey, nigga, let me buy a third of the dollars and something. That's how it starts. It starts with 30. Yeah, no, no, no.

Let me get 30,000. Bitch, who got it? Yeah. So let me ask you this, since Hans Kim made it, and also, he's dating a white girl. Are you made it? Now you're dating a white chick? No, no, yeah.

They're still kind of scary, but I fucking for sure. Right man, I fucking for sure. Smart. Smart, no settling down for a while, can't. Don't put yourself through that. If your heart tells you that you really like somebody, your heart is wrong. Oh.

Just keep... Yeah. 24? 24, yeah. He's beautiful. This is scary. Yeah. First, he was 24, yeah. He's beautiful. This is scary. Yeah.

First of all, take your shirt off. Now you're beautiful. And they're gone like, yeah. I love it. Cam, you're a star. We love you. You did it again. Another new minute from Cam Patterson.

So cool. So cool. So cool. Tough back to follow. Yeah. The band, the mythologian. One more time for camp patterns and everybody. Alright, very exciting stuff.

Your next bucket pool is on the inside, inside this room. So if one of you signed up, you have a chance right now. Make some noise for Evan Lightnacker, everybody. Evan Lightnacker. Lightnacker, perhaps? We got Ivan out there, we got him. Ivan is coming. Evan. Evan.

Lightnacker. We haven't fun out there, huh? How many of you like to win comedians do good on this show? How many of you like to win comedian to do good on this show? How many of you like a wink comedian to do bad on this show? Alright, well, we've got the re-ball. Here's Evan Leightenacker, everybody. One more time for Evan, everybody. This is fun and crazy.

So I live in a small town in northern Michigan and I happen to go to the grocery store like five times a week. I'm always going to the grocery store. I never know what I want to eat. So the other day I was at the grocery store and I was fucking high as shit. And I'm walking around, I'm like in the freezer section, and I hear Evan, please come to customer service. I'm like, I'm thinking, I'm thinking my pockets, I'm like, did I steal something?

What am I doing? So I go up to customer service, I go, hey, what's up? And I'm like, what's going on? Well, you guys just called me to come up here. And the guy looks down at his name tag and looks up to me and his name tags as Evan. I'm just like, oh, Jesus fucking Christ. So I was that high.

Thank you. Thank you. While, dude, that's a relief. That's fucking crazy. Oh, my God. I'm so glad that. Wow, dude. That's a relief. That's fucking great. Oh my God. I'm so glad that's over, man. Oh, I got so uncomfortable the whole time. That was going on. I felt bad for you and your lack of preparation.

And this was like your first kiss, right? And it was a horrible guess that that might be the way to go about doing this, dude. It was terrifying. It was terrifying. I bet it was. I bet it was. Yeah, it was terrifying. What?

Up here? Or at the grocery store? No, we didn't get the grocery store and they said Evan come to customer service. You know that that's like a normal thing. Like you told like a normal story that could happen to anybody on any given day. Like if I was at a grocery store and somebody said Tony come to the front, I would assume they were talking about Tony Siciliano from earlier tonight. Like I mean it's not that big of a deal. It's a very small town.

So I just assumed, oh well, you know, I know some of the greeters, I know the customer service people, Evan come to the counter. I'm just like, but you didn't know Evan. You didn't know the Evan, the work there. You're correct. You're correct. I know that everybody, it's such a small town. What was the funny part?

I don't know. Even if all those things are true, what was supposed to be funny? What made you pick that story? I don't know. I don't know. Okay. I'm breaking out.

I'm throwing rights right here. What? I can't imagine the jokes that you didn't do in lieu of that. I one time I was driving and my check engine light came on. I went to the oil change place and they said I needed an oil change. They changed my oil. And the guy's name was Evan. Ha ha ha. Yeah. What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

What happened? Yeah. You suck, dude. I know. No, I'm kidding. So that's your first time ever doing stand-up, correct? Up. Yeah.

Wait, what was that? Wait, wait, wait, wait. I was going to say, of course, then I just said, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, you said me. I got to tell you I like you, though. Thank you. I do.

I like you, too. You're probably really good at it. I know. I know. No, of course, then I just said, yeah. Oh, okay. You said me. I gotta tell you, I like you, though. Thank you. I do. I like you, too. I think you're probably a really big guy.

I like you since, you know, I was, I don't know, probably 12 years old. Oh, man. Remember, he was just, now I feel horrible about all this shit I said. I was, I was, and for what I was thinking.

Right now. I grew up with you. I went and saw you with my dad in Kansas City at the Midland Theater. That's bad parenting. Yeah. That is. It was fantastic. Thank you.

Yeah. So Evan, you're in Northern Michigan. What made you sign up tonight? What made you want to do this? So I've been a fan for, I've been listening for, I mean, probably 10 years. Right. We saw you guys in Lawrence, Kansas. Gotcha.

But what made you want to do this, shall we? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. What you just did, what made you? I'm just such a big fucking fan. Right. You're such a big fan. When did you think that you were gonna, did you come to Austin knowing that you were gonna

sign up? So my best friend who was the, in my wedding, he's right out there. Yeah. His girlfriend got him tickets for us to come to here. Okay. Yeah. Where's the wedding?

In Texas? No, no, no, no. No, no. No, no, no. Jesus Christ. I think, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, come here for his birthday. Today's his birthday. Right. OK. Did he sign up? Yeah, he did. He did? What's his name? Spencer Ryan. Spencer Ryan, come up here.

It's your birthday. We're getting married. Let's see what happens here. Spencer Ryan, you stay right there. You son of a bitch. I'm saying right here. But the mic and the mic stand. It probably doesn't think you're very good looking.

Yeah. Does he get one of these at least or no? Well, I'll decide when that happens. You get to half a one, a half a one, bro. All right, here he is. Making his Kill Tony debut the birthday boy, 60 seconds uninterrupted. Let's see what he prepared here tonight.

One more time for Wittes' name again? Evan. Spencer. Spencer. Spencer, everybody. They trustzesname again? Evan. Spencer. Spencer. Spencer, everybody. They trust exactly the fucking same, dude. All right.

So awesome. Here he is, everybody. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Spencer, everybody. Here we go. Applause. So I was looking at a recipe for traditional German coleslaw the other day. Laughter. It had bacon in it, and I thought,

damn, that's an interesting way to tell the Jews they're not welcome at your barbecue. So like, maybe Hitler went a little too far. He could have just made all the German food way more delicious and they kind of would have left. You know? Like, oh, maybe you'd feel more comfortable to another barbecue. Maybe in Hollywood or New York far from here, please leave. That's what I came over. 57 seconds. We see who wears the funny pants in this friendship. Oh my goodness.

Wow. Absolutely incredible. So Spencer Welcome to the show talk right into the tip of that microphone. How's it going? Pretty nervous. Yeah, dream come true. That was your first time on stage two Yeah, and it went really well for you. I like the thing so yeah most importantly it went you're fucking murdered Dude, you're fucking murdered You came up went really fucking murdered. Yeah, you fucking murder After your friend drink a cup of his own warm sperm up here Yeah, it's absolutely incredible. I knew it was gonna go that way. Oh, you did? What are you, a fucking psychic? Well, then you should have known that your 60 seconds

was gonna go that way, too, and written something different. So Spencer, what do you do for a living? I'm a brewer and a volunteer firefighter. Hell yeah, look at you, an American hero, everybody. Jesus Christ, this b Show's up with boo. Wow. Is that firefighting, huh? Volunteer firefighting.

So what kind of things do you do? Is that where you found your friend? Did someone say that a pussy was stuck in a tree? No, we've been friends forever. But no, we do a lot of stuff. There's the Rx and house fires and all that kind of stuff. You know that a lot of the firefighters are going to Israel right now? Did you know that?

Pass on that. Yeah. I don't know if you heard his material, but I don't think he's going to fight for Israel. That was it. He said pass before I even fucking said the word Israel. Wow. Yeah. I don't think I even fucking said the word Israel. Wow. Yeah. I don't think I'm fucking moving to Austin.

Fuck this place. Going back to California where it canters and shit. Well, these guys are from Michigan. So you're getting married? No, I was his best man at his wedding. Oh, yeah. Fucking Evan can't explain it. He looked like a couple kind of, don't they?

A little bit. I live in Montana now. Kind of, don't they? A little bit? I live in Montana now. This was a trip to meet each other somewhere other than where we live. Shut up, Evan. I'm over here. Talking to Spencer now. Spencer's like, I'm in the two of you.

So Spencer, here you are. How long have you been in Austin? Four days. And how much longer do you have here? We're leaving tomorrow morning. Okay, leave in tomorrow morning. So this was it. This was your big kiltony trip Here you guys both are on the stage And you guys came together just the two of you our girlfriends are here. Did your girlfriend sign up? No, okay Evan corrected them into say wife and girlfriend everybody. You don't want to get in trouble. What a pretty girl friend, yeah. Oh, Evan corrected him into say, wife and girlfriend, everybody.

You don't wanna get in trouble. What a pussy you are, dude. It is unbelievable. It is just incredible. What do you think his chest looks like underneath all that probably? What's going on in Montana, bro? Yeah, good question.

Yes. Yeah, good question. Yeah. Yeah, what's going on? It's cold and snowy. It's a same thing as Austin, getting a lot of people just moving in and from California. Yeah, Washington, California. There's no comedy clubs in Montana. I've tried to book myself up there.

No, but there's a couple open mics, but I've never even thought about going to one. I don't think they went to Montana. It's a couple open mics, but I've never even thought about going to one. I don't think they were a Montana. Um, it's a state. Well, Montana has, um, what's the biggest city there? Billings. Billings. Yeah, Billings and Boseman now is having a scene, but, uh, yeah.

Yeah, not many Black people there. Not many, no. Oh, dude, not cool. Every time I've ever visited him. Uh-oh, here comes the senior hilarious correspondents stepping in. He's got something for the black people in Montana reference. And here we go. Every time I've been to Montana, I gotta tell ya.

Well, they ain't in the grocery store, Zico too. Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoa! Now, my goodness, I gotta tell you about the black people in Montana. Am I right? There are none. Ha-ha-ha! Oh, here he goes.

This is why I was shaking when I came up here, because I knew this was gonna happen. All right. Okay, very good. Yeah. But, no, the first time I visited in Montana, we were walking down in front of this brewery. And there was a black gentleman walking across the street and Spencer went, ooh, unicorn.

Oh, dude, wow. I didn't make that up. It was a lot funnier when Spencer did it though. I guarantee you that. We gotta bring Cam out here, he's gotta represent, bro. No, no, no, no, I don't want Cam near these guys so fucking. Oh shit, there's one. There's one.

There's one. Funny, amazing eclipse happening right now. You never see black people, and he never sees white people, so Interesting Take your microphone, Paulie. What are you? Say something cool bro. She's All right. Oh my God

All right These are some white motherfuckers. They really are. Evan, we like you. Evan, this is for you and Spencer. Oh, you sucked, dude. No, no, Polly. It's not allowed.

You don't do anything. What, you don't do anything? That's an easy way to remember. Is he just, thank you, enjoy yourself. Woo! That's an easy way to remember. So just, thank you, enjoy yourself. There they go, Spencer and Evan, everybody. The Bill and Ted for Hillbillies. The J and Should be Silent Bob. There they go.

Uh-huh. No, no, no, back to the bucket we go. This looks like a fun name. I'm excited to see this makes him noise for K1 Moses the kill doni kill Tony debut of K1 Moses everybody here is mix on its for K1 everybody White people are y'all doing Why people, how y'all doing? Doing alright? God damn, Phil, I just got pulled over.

His brightest fuck up here. Okay. Let's get right to it. Who's in the relationship? Round of applause for everybody in the relationship. Yes, it's a great crowd, but you could still hear a suicide in that clap. Anyway, I just want to give y'all some advice.

I ain't got a lot of time. I specifically for the fellas. So I want to say, constantly work on improving yourself. Make sure you're focused on being better than who you were yesterday, specifically with your oral sex abilities. Make sure you're constantly improving your pussy pleasing performance because these lesbians, they're coming for your job.

They're coming for your job like a thief in the night. They have the work ethic of an illegal Mexican. Okay, they will, they'll do it twice as good for half the pay as well. I'm trying to tell you, make sure you put your back into this shit. I don't care how good you think you're doing it. It is a stud who drives a Ford F-150

who's looking to take your position. You know what I'm saying? It was like, I'm not trying to rag on the lesbians. You know what I'm saying is that keep your friends close and in these closures. What I'm trying to tell you, you know what I'm saying? These les like, I'm not trying to rag on the lesbians. You know what I'm saying is that keep your friends close, enemy's closes. What I'm trying to tell you, you know what I'm saying? These lesbians, they have distinct advantage. They can put their dicks on the charger. You know what I'm saying?

We in Tesla. We in Austin, they can charge their dick like a Tesla. You know what I'm saying? They have distinct advantage. So make sure you know what you're supposed to do. You know what I'm saying? And I'm saying, my name is Kiwan Moses. Think you're so much.

Kiwan Moses, ladies and gentlemen. Fucking great. Loved it. Thank you. The cat was a little quiet there, so you got to go along. That's fun. Kiwan, welcome to the show. Your first time on Correct?

Yes sir, pop up my cheery. I'm sorry. Yes sir. Absolutely. Always considered you like the white Bernie Mac, by the way. Okay. That's a big compliment. Ron W Okay, that's a big compliment. Brown white.

It's a bad motherfucker. I'll take that white. What did you consider me? I'm gonna wait for an answer. I'm gonna wait for an answer. Here's the white soldier boy. Oh shit. Yeah.

One time in the army now. Yeah. One shiny. One shiny. In the Army now, okay. Kiwan Moses. So welcome to the show. You're very calm, cool, love your material, love everything. Fantastic. Totally tell you're one of the good ones. Very cool.

Shout out. He's wearing khaki. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. I'm saying white. Have you ever been a Montana? There's a good question. That's a really good question. I I'm saying, I'm saying white.

Have you ever been a Montana? There's a good question. That's a really good question. No, no, but I do advise people to go there because they say like the A's ratio are really low out there. You know what I mean? So go out there and just roll the in Helena.

There you go. Absolutely. It's the opposite of Atlanta. You know what I mean? Keywon, where do you live? I live here. Okay, how long have you lived here? Since Memorial Day of this past year. Okay, Memorial Day, shout out to the troops.

What do you do for a living? I'm an underwriter, credit analyst during the day. I was going to say, Interpreter rental cars. Yeah, I really was. That's the widest outfit I've ever seen, anybody wear. Hey man, I got to make a pill comfortable. Yeah, that's what I thought you were trying to do. I'm like, you don't have to try that fucking hard dude. Yeah, I was it.

Hell yeah, Kiwan Moses talking about pleasing women with oral sex. Do you have any tricks in your oral sex game? Yes, two kind of like looped your tone. Oh shit, wait a second. Can we get a spotlight in some section? I'm sorry, mama. Let's go mama. We made it Loop your tongue loop your tongue and suck it saliva suck it And keep rotating key rotating and if her legs start to convulse to like like she's crushing your head

That means you're doing it right. Wow, very good. Very rarely do I get a scientific answer. That is, uh, that's good. I didn't know black guys ain't pussy. I'm trying to make a change. I started high school when Obama first was elected. So I'm all about,

so I'm all about making a change amongst Negroes. You know what I'm saying? Like, I got good credit. I know my father and I eat pussy. I'm all about, so I'm all about making a change amongst Negroes. You know what I'm saying? Like, I got good credit. I know my father and I eat pussy. I'm killing it. Wow. Holy shit. I'm killing it.

Oh my goodness. My father ain't sick, but I know the nigga. You know what I mean? Wow. I love it. I love it. Break down all the stereotypes. Killin' it.

You swim? Yeah. Tony. I have a life jacket, Tony. That was a- That was a- That was a dirty, dirty- Oh, it's a dirty motherfucker. It's your life jacket, bulletproof as well. Yeah.

I got a lot of questions. Yes, yes. 30 motherfuckers. You got your life jacket bullet proof as well. Yeah. I got a lot of questions. Yeah, sure. Do you swim or what? Talk to me motherfuckers. I do, so I don't swim well. He answered. I swim through DMs, you know?

Yeah. Swim through money. You know what I mean? I don't swim that well in water. But you know, I have a life jacket. I do pretty good at that. Absolutely. What do you do for fun?

E-pussy. Okay. Is there a specific kind of pussy that you like? White Latina? Clean. Ah, good answer. And eating pussy and stand-up comedy. But there is only one pussy I eat,

shout out my baby, I love you. Oh wow, how long have you been with her? About a year now, with a Latina, so we need a hurry to search. Oh fucking little can I I'm just playing I'm just playing I'm just playing. Can I have can I have keynote? Give me the spotlight because I want to show you how I Okay Here he is I've eaten enough fucking Listen stop fucking playing the drones for a second. Let me say something stop fucking around

I don't know if you guys yo. I don't know if you ever heard of the actor Leonardo DiCaprio Can I can I give it up for Leonardo DiCaprio? Please? And I'm not kidding. He said this to me once we were at a club and he looked over at me and he says to me And I'm what are you? Is this a make-a-witch? What are you dying? Chinese, listen, if they had their fucking phones, they could Google polish your teachers Leonardo DiCaprio How to eat pussy, and then they'll tell you to fuck off Because you'll see that on the internet, let me finish my sentence

He says to me, Leonardo says to me, he goes, dude, you look like you eat pussy, really good. I'm just saying that. There's no joke. I said, why do you say that? He goes, it just seems like you do. And I'll tell you how I do it. That's the way of saying that he thinks you have a small penis. So you go like this, like this, you go, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, um, um, y'all, um, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he just said he looks, I look like I know how to eat pussy. That's all he said. No, I know, I know. I was doing a joke, Polly.

It's a thing that we do on comedy. That's all he said the whole night. You look like you know how to eat pussy. When you go home, Google it and you'll see it and then tweet at Tony and say he's right and show him a screenshot of it. And then I remember the next thing, Leonardo DiCaprio said was security. Wow. I remember the next thing, Lee Wanda de Caprio said was, secuarty! Wow! I love it.

So, Kiwan, where did you meet your lovely Latina at? Facebook dating. Wow, okay. And then their first date, what was that? Like, what are the plans? First date was the living room. Straight to the living room. I don't have time, life is short.

Wow! Your living room or hers? My living room. Okay, so there's no kids around that's good no children Right, so you go to she goes to your living room and what happens? I asked for a hug next thing. I know As was being thrown wow Okay, my beer connects what can I say wow incredible, you know absolutely amazing. Yeah, why are you not fucking right?

I'm sorry, but it was real. It's real. Why are you not why are you not fucking right now though? Like what are you doing right now? What is on she's she's on her period Go make a mess. I'm sorry That's good things to do you know saying my last name is Moses. I've been part in red seas on my life Oh That's what things to do. You know what I'm saying? My last name is Moses. I've been part in Red Seas on my life. Oh, shit. But, but we're committed now. I ain't got to put up with this shit no more. Right, right. When the- I don't have to prove that I love her.

Yeah, you don't want to deal with that Chalula coming on the red. Yeah, yeah. But- It is what it is. It is what it is. Unless you like catch up with your carpet, right, bro? There you go. Much lighter reference than my Chalula Wanda. More than American eyes.

I just got to treat him like how I do our in-laws when they speak to me and spend it up. Like, see, see, yeah, I got you. I got you. All right, Kiwan, a very fun set. You're Killtony, Debu. You're very cool. Come back, sign up again

Thank you Moses everybody K-Moh joke All right Okay, this is a very very exciting moment in the history of the show ladies and gentlemen The young man that you're about to see this is first ever ever scheduled appearance on the show after winning a golden ticket two weeks ago. I do believe that this is one of the most promising figures that we've ever found out of the bucket in the history of this show. And you are here for his first scheduled appearance. The make of wish has arrived. Guys, I just moved to Austin. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you.

I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you.

I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you.

I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. I'm excited to see you. The Maker Wish has arrived. Guys, I just moved to Austin. I'm very excited about it. But there are a couple times I've gotten confused here. Like, one time I was walking down six street and there was this guy on his phone talking to an Instagram live.

And he saw me and he goes, Yo! Look at that vapin baby. And he goes, hey, little baby, blow some clouds. So I blew some clouds, I entertained the man. And then he saw my tattoos and he wanted me to show those off. So I showed him this one right here and I showed him this one and then I showed him my penis in the alley. He tricked me. I ran into this other guy walking across seventh, broke his legs with my car. Thank you guys.

Fuck, yes. Absolutely. Fucking amazing. Heep, cordus, C-O-R-T-E-S. Yes, sir. An absolute fucking sensation. You've been on the show only once before your episode aired a week ago, and we've seen crazy amount of growth.

How has your life changed in the past week? It's been very exciting. I'm addicted to my phone now. But other than that, I'm friends with a lot of cool people now. That's fun. Everyone from high school is very jealous. Yeah. Finally. Yeah. Finally. Finally, they're all jealous of you.

Yeah. Hell yeah. And finally, they're looking up to you. Exactly. That's what it was all about. I put those guys. That's right. This all happened to Tony and out about ten years ago.

It's true. It's true. It's true. So... Now who's getting all the pussy? Oh! Oh! I saw you scamming on women at the bar. I have this show, dude.

Can you hook me up, Brian, please? Yeah. Please. I got you coming up. So Heath, it is true. The last time you were on the show, I offered a very beautiful woman lifetime tickets to Kill Tony if she fucked your brains out. Do you have any updates on your sex life the past week since you've been...

It never happened, Tony. It never happened. Wow. I know. So can we say... Thank you. I didn't tell her the other side of that she's banned forever from This is a high-pressure situation. It's a real life show anything can happen. They're actually very nice ladies, but um no sex But they wait nice. I think there's a girl tonight that'll probably suck your dick

Heck yeah Yeah, she has short hair and is wearing a red and black Hell yeah, no poly down. No, come on, Paulie. Oh Come on You're you're over 18 right? Yeah, absolutely. Here he goes. Suck in his dick, poly-shore ladies, and show off the crap

of the back of his ass. Oh, my God. Must see TV here. Only on Kill Tony. Oh, my god. What the fuck is gonna be such a great fucking teaser clip for the episode? Like what the fuck is my god? You gotta love Heath.

Doesn't just take the blowjob immediately grabs the back of the head. I'm unbelievable. You know what's fucked up is he probably would let me suck his dick. Well, I mean I'm weird bro. Of course I would. me suck his dick. Well, I'm not weird, bro. For the story alone, absolutely. My goodness. Wow, how tall are you, Heath? 411.

411, but I gotta tell you, you grabbed Paulie said, like you were 412. Yeah, I gotta just say. I love it. I love it. Wow, so what else has been going on this week? I went to a rave last time. That's a type of shit you do when you get famous. Yeah, my roommates posted a countdown for the last episode drop. And on the countdown, it said six days until Heath loses his virginity.

Yeah. And one girl responded to it and said that she wanted me to go to a rave with her. So I think I'm about to get laid. Yeah. And then I get cockpogged by some fat guy named Otto who's crashing on the couch at the hotel. Oh, no. It was the worst. I hate that guy.

Yeah. Fuck that guy. Fuck Otto. God damn it. Otto. Damn. That's the name of a true cock blocker. Yeah.

Otto, O-T-T-O, never trust him. Bots roll out. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. So Heath, what else has gone on? You've been eating your lunchables? What's happening here? I eat like fish sticks and mac and cheese almost every day. It's the best. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. Breakfast of champions. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. You said before I came on stage, we were all part of a team here. Now we're not part of it. Yeah, that's over in like 45 minutes or so.

I'm expired. He said he could be part of our team. Oh my goodness. So 4-11, you're famous now. You're one of the kings of Austin, the crown prince of the sixth street. What else is going on? Are your friends cool?

Are they cooler? Is everybody nice? They're cool as hell. I love my friends. They're the best. Right. If you notice, any people getting jealous? Not really.

They seem happy for the most part. OK, good. Be on my jam in the van show. Yeah. I'd good. Be on my jam in the van show. Yeah, I'd love to be on your jam in the van show. You're not supposed to be. What did I tell you about inviting people that look like this into vans? Paul. Hey, you want to jam in the van with me?

I already almost sucked his dick, dude. Can you do that Fortnite dance where it's like, you know, it looks like the hand squad? I can do the floss. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Oh, shit. Wow. Look at that, Paulie. Oh my goodness. Paulie's hard as a rock right now. My mating call for Paulie. I'm always jerking off. Spank in the weasel. All right. Heath, you did it again. Another amazing minute. We fucking love you. Golden ticket winner.

Live in his first arena, December 30th here in Austin, Texas. Gonna be on some really fun shows coming up. Heath Bordes, everybody. All right. Back to the bucket we go. Back to the bucket, which is where we found key hits, where we found cam, where we found everybody. Your next comedian goes by the name of IAMX.

IAMX. Is that a real name? IAMX. Okay. Oh yes, absolutely. IAMX everybody. Yes, go right ahead. Holy shit.

Make some noise for I am X everybody. Yes, go right ahead. Holy shit, make some noise for I am X everybody. Hey, how's it going? I am X. One minute started. My name is Paige on an open book. I have a polypocket full of confidence that I'll always go home with a funny guy because I'm a chucklefucker. I'm an open book. I have a partly pocket full of confidence.

That I'll always go home with a funny guy because I'm a chucklefucker. I can't help it. My pussy's so tight like prom night, I need a cut double. Brrrrr. I'm the filthy milf. Do you like my milf muscles? I've been bench pressing a fin to strad a caster.

I made me rhythm house. Yeah, this one's for London. I like bloke's name, Blake and Crystal made Ilkoho's big kids. I tried to make me go to rehab. I said no, no, no, no. My ex-husband, his two or three favorite things are Tito's vodka, pickleball, and a three drum in the accident

old country girl. He didn't go down on me once in 12 years. Said he was gonna do it after the Razerbacks won or after he took out the trash, neither one ever happened. But he is the number one pickleball pro-vark and soul. And now I'm raising Stewie for family life. Okay, do you know where you're at right now? Yeah. Have you seen the show before?

Well, I tried not to watch it because I didn't want to like copy anybody, but I probably should have seen it on a show or three. But everybody... Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I got rid of my television a long time ago so I've been listening to fish. Okay, the band are the animal. The band, I don't know about the animal. You don't know what that is. I'm an Um from Arkansas. Right, yeah, we don't have fish in Arkansas. Everybody knows that.

Okay. So I am X. I am X. Yes. The branding is incredible on that, by the way. Thank you. I appreciate it. So what do you, how, what the fuck?

Have you ever done stand-up comedy before? Two years. Mm-hmm. Two years ago, you did it once? Yeah, now for the last couple of years, I've been doing it. Where have you been doing it, Adex? My mom's garage, mostly, and the joint in Little Rock. They, I did so well that they slashed three or four of my tires

after, and I said, I looked like Ilym Warnos. I had a bee sting and my I've piercings popped out. And so that's what it was that made them want to do that. Okay, so what do you do for a living exactly? Well, I'm divorced, unemployed, and I got evicted. So I'm trying, I want to be a stand up comic. Hold on a second here. Let's go one step at a time Divorced how long were you married for?

Seven years but with Betty Crocker for 12. What's that mean? I was my my gay ex-husband. That's what I call on Betty Crocker. Is he really gay or did you make him? I think stage purposes. He's always gonna be gay. Real life, I think he's asexual. That Betty is around you. Oh, there's that wacky sound. So that's the fentanyl. And that was his idea.

His idea to get married the divorce He kicked me out of my birthday, right, but he's the number one pickleball pro-Varkins sauce. We heard that yeah Yeah, but I'm banned from Walmart lows and sands for life because I divorced a mogul This is just sadder and sadder and sadder. I love it There it is again. I loveander. I love it. There it is again. I love it. Fourth day. I love you.

Oh, shit. Look at this. Paul of you. Paulie, yellow. This is one of my favorite scenes from Devil's Rejects right now, have it. But she want me to tell you. Tommy, I love you. No, no, no.

So I am ex. Why are you banned from those places? Lowes, Walmart. It's a persona problem from what the psychiatrist tell me, but I'm a nurse. I'm an unemployed nurse. So they're either trying to make me work at the psych facility or be admitted.

What type of? I've been bossing surgeons around for a while, for like 14 years as a travel nurse Surgeons, what do you mean when you say you boss them around are they real? I was the I was I was an operating groom nurse for 14 years before I gave birth to Stewie from family guy No, hold on. Okay. Stop stop stop. Were you really in an operating room at some point? Yeah, yeah. I mean, they weren't operating on me.

Yes, I did cranny otomies and boulder. And yeah, Denver, they taught me how to do transplants. And then I did a lot of sex change surgeries and San Francisco. And it's really. Are you making jokes or is that crazy? No, that's for real. That's for you guys to let me up. And then what happened?

Betty Crocker. I made it with Sasquatch. He's 6'4 into 80 and then I gave birth to Stewie from Family God. You said that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Yeah, I don't know. What's OK?

Yeah. Shut up. Hold on. Sorry, how much material do you have written on those ripped up loose leaf papers that you have? Is that all jokes? What is that? It's notes from my doctor that say, I should stay in a safe place in a biodeum.

No, but I had a flip phone that I did put in the bin and so I did have a couple good human trafficking jokes and Talking about 90s nostalgia. All right. You guys have good security here, right? Yeah, only the best very best Austin security guard service the best in the world She's she's cool though. She's cool. She reminds me of some wild babe from the Midwest, too. The Midwest is a wild place. And are you from the Midwest? I'm from a little rock, a little rock Arkansas. Yeah, so, okay, whatever. So, what are you on right now?

Just tell the truth. Don't try to be funny or talk about fucking stewie or whatever bullshit. What am I on? What exactly are you on? Like, what did you do today? Any pills? No, I just took the one prescription that the doctor gave me. What's that prescription? Lexa Pro. Yeah, there it is. Absolutely. Oh, okay, they're at it out. Very good. Okay. All right,

honestly, I think you're very, very promising. I think you have a chance. Really? You know. Okay. Now, can you catch this? I'm gonna throw this, just short of you there. Do a Void All Law suits, there you go. I love you.

All right. Okay, there she goes, I AMX, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Absolutely. This place is fucking wild. Is she gonna stay in the episode or do you cut that part out?

Now, she'll stay, she'll stay in... She answered just enough questions and... You can shorten it, right? No, no, no, we won't do that. No, we'll keep it as it is. Now, some of the things that you've said tonight on the other hand, we're going to do some deep, deep, deep trimming. Just a little nip and tuck. Now'm kidding I'm joking how about a hand for the

great poly short I don't know why to pull another name out of the bucket makes noise for Alex Reyes everybody Alex Reyes kind of sounds familiar yeah I think he's been on before one more time for Alex everybody Yeah, I think he's been on before one more time for Alex, everybody. Woo! Woo! When I started doing comedy, I wasn't a really bad place. El Paso, Texas. El Paso has one of the largest landfills in this country.

It's called the New Mexico. There was a mass shooting at a Walmart in El Paso, 15 people died. 11 of them volunteered. Thank you, guys. Oh, 38 seconds of Alex Reyes. Thank you guys. Oh, 38 seconds of Alex Reyes. Oh, well, do you have anything else you wanted to say?

I did a show on Opasso, and when I called my dad, I said, Dad, I just got to Opasso. He goes, that's awesome, Mico. Keep going. Right. Okay, how about one more time for Alex Ray? Is everybody. You've been on the show before, right? I remember you.

Almost you're on my birthday. Okay, when wins your birthday, Alex? There was in July. Wow, okay. July 24th. How did that go for you? I went amazing, man. Yeah.

I had an amazing set, got a big book, a big gun. Yep. Absolutely. It's a gel blister, by the way. It's a gel shooting device. Absolutely. Have you used it? No, I'm going to mount it with the big book

and a picture of me here. OK. Maybe, I don't know. All right. Give me some thoughts. It's mental health awareness. Is there a gasoline on right now, back? All right. It's mental health awareness. They're a gasoline on, right? Out. Out.

All right. So, Alex, remind us, what do you do for a living? I go door to door. I set appointments for homeowners looking to go solar. Okay. What are you on today? I'm on love, guys. Come on.

Oh, one of the most boring drugs available. I gave him something about a half hour ago. Did? What was it, the bad jokes that he did? I thought his jokes were good for 38 seconds, and I got sad that they didn't continue. Why didn't you continue yourself? I thought that was a whole minute.

My timing is way off. Mijo, you had more time. Oh. Oh. Gracias, señor prez. Oh. Oh. You are one of the funniest Mexican grandmothers

we've ever had on this show, Alex. So, OK. You go door to door, blah, blah,h buh buh buh buh buh how long have you lived in Austin? I live in San Antonio. Okay. Absolutely. From Laredo I'm from a border town. All right. Brownsville. No Laredo. Brownsville's got some good beans dude. Whoa I don't think you're allowed to call them that anymore. Okay, Alex, anything else crazy or interesting about your life that we should know about you are on the show a few months ago?

Maybe you thought of something since then, and which you're like, hey, at that interview part, maybe I should... After the show, I went to Burning Man. Okay. That's it Encourst. Yeah, you're right. Is that it? That's the end of the story you went there and that's it amazing time everybody was crying Okay Yeah, okay. Oh, it got flooded. That's right Okay, all right. There he goes everybody Alex Ray is everyone. There you go, buddy.

Man, bucket legit. He doesn't get a book, right? He already got one. Paul, I got that part. Yeah, no, we got shit. There he goes, everybody. One of the rare lesbian fortune tellers in the industry of fortune telling. All right., pull another name out of the bucket. Mix the noise for John Nemeke, everybody. John Nemeke. John Nemeke. Here's the Pilt Tony debut I do believe of John Nemeke. What's up guys?

I started kickboxing. Learning how to fight is supposed to build confidence. I'm just curious when the confidence is supposed to come. Because right now I just feel like I'm paying to get my ass kicked. I can't fight for shit. Ironically, my favorite shirt to wear to the gym is a tank top that says iron Mike Tyson on it. I think if I wear it, I'm going to somehow channel some of Mike Tyson's greatness through that shirt and have a better workout.

I just put it on. I'm like, who's like Mike? I'm like Mike. But in reality the only thing I have in common with Mike Tyson is the gap in my teeth. When I was a kid I asked for braces. My parents said, no, John, we want you to have at least one thing in common with Mike Tyson. No. John, we want you to have at least one thing in common with Mike Tyson. That makes sense. Well, Mike Tyson went to prison for rape when he was 26. I'm only 25. I'd rather buy a tiger. I'd rather buy a tiger. All right, that's my set. All right, John Demeque. That was kind of like Mike Tyson.

I was wishing someone would bite my ear off during that performance. John, how long you been doing stand-up comedy? For the last year. For the last year. We're at. I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. Oh, Cleveland, Ohio. You still live there?

Yes. How long have you been Austin for? Probably another week. How long have you been here? One week. What have you done that's fun to people listening around the world, what you've, how you've enjoyed Austin, Texas this week? I've been hanging on Barton Springs and just smoking weed with my friends. Hey, all right, very good.

What do you do for a living in Cleveland? I just work a waiting job. I got out of the Navy last year. I'm just kind of chilling before I go back to school. Another reason I'm here. I want to look at the campus. The campus? Yeah.

Yes, absolutely. Okay. So, where are you waiting tables up? A Korean restaurant. Ah. Okay. So, no. There you go.

Following in the footsteps of Hans Kim's sisters. What did you do in the Navy? I worked on F-18's engines. F-18's engines. So you know how to work an engine on an F-18? Not well, but. Right, yeah. Somehow I am X thinks she's done the same job before.

That's the crazy part. She's done one of the many things on her insanely long resume of insanity. Okay. What's your love life like, John? Just someone that I'm like kind of hanging out with at the moment, not like a... I'm gonna tell you to all or anything. Yeah. Okay, we have a to all or anything. Yeah. Okay, we have a little bit of a theme on tonight's show.

Do you have any special tricks to eating pussy? Um, not really. I just kind of get down there. I don't know. Nothing special. I just... He's a surprise. It sounds like the worst pussy eater I've ever heard in my life.

Yo, does this dude remind you of Richard's Branson's retarded son? Yeah. Absolutely. Fuck yeah, bro, right? That's my time. Good night, ladies and gentlemen. I've done a lot of fucking jokes here, bro.

Do we get paid for this shit? No. Fuck, dude. This is like your gigs in Montana. No pay. And if you can sell shirts for us after the show, it's like a Richard Branson was a virgin instead of own virgin. So John, did I ask you special skills or talents other than being a stand-up comedian?

No, you did not, but I can scoop it out of him, a dive master. Oh, a dive master. A dive master, the canny pussy, unbelievable. No, it's a buff dive master, that's for sure. Okay, so what do you think about the people on the submarine? Oki-doki. Wow, so John, what scares you? What are you afraid of?

You've been in the Navy, you've done stand-up comedy, you've done some scary things in your life. What are you afraid of? Being boring during this interview, but I bet you're scared of being intimate with a boy. And I think it's time that being intimate with a boy. And I think it's time that you face your fears. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Look at this. Wow. Oh my.

Wow. Look at that. He was going to do it. You're going to do it. Oh my goodness gracious. Thank God D-Manus has no idea what's going on right now. You would have left five minutes ago if he... It's funny because he's homophobic.

Just kidding. He's not homophobic. He loves the game so much. No. All right. John, anything else about your life that we would find interesting or compelling at all, a fun fact about you? I travel quite a bit. I spent like the last three months in South America

and I kind of speak Spanish a little bit. Like a good news for you. You can travel right now, my friend. Your time here is done. There's a small joke book for you. There he goes. John Nemeke, everybody. Thank you.

Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Is he over there? Is he over there? Is he? Is he? Is he over there?

Is he? Is he? Is he over there? Is he over there? Is he? Is he over there? Is he? Is he over there? Is he? Is he over there? See ya around? Grab them, we'll do that too. Alright, last bucket poll of the night. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah of Aaron McPherson. Makes noise for Aaron, everybody. Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Howdy, niggas. Yeah, I appreciate that. It's my favorite pastime. I like going into rooms, crowded for the white folks, and the shout out Niggah a bunch. It's been like Niggah, nigga, nigga, nigga.

And if you didn't laugh, fuck you, man. You make me nervous. We all got them friends that just be like, uh, God's got me in any situation. They'd be like, hey man, fuck that test. God's got me. But all right, get some similar serious shit like a man Fuck that shit I'm going in wrong the night

God's got me But then you know got some serious shit for real you be like a man fuck pain them taxes God's got me Man God came down to the quickness of us. I ain't got shit. Uncle Sam got your black ass nigga. Thanks man. Fuck yeah.

Aaron McPherson. I like it. Welcome to the show Aaron. How long you been on stand up? About five years now. Five years. Where are? Out of Kansas. I came on here once before. Okay. About five years now. Five years, where are?

Out of Kansas. I came on here once before. OK, well yeah, you were on earlier tonight. Yeah, I had a... I had a... Oh, the mighty of fallen. I don't know what happened, but... When was that?

When were you on the show? Whatever the thing, March, the first month I was here. OK. Yeah, I had a fro though then. Okay. You had to why'd you get rid of the throw? Man, I got came I came about some money so I can get a haircut now. Okay. How'd you come about some money? Where was the where was this great looting at? So when you had an out you had an afro, you had a little afro. They can't even pick in it and cruise around with the pick too,

because that's a good look. Well, yeah, man, I had one, man. That's tight. Okay, thank you. Where'd you come across the money? Huh? The question that I asked a minute ago that you avoided. Man, I was out there selling some beer.

You know, not selling no beer, no more though. But yeah, that's what I was doing. I came across the somebody selling some beer. Beer? Beer. You were selling beer? Yeah, that's the code. What does that mean exactly?

Come on, tell the truth. It's more interesting if you tell the truth. No one's ever been arrested in the history of the show other than the guy that ordered his girlfriend afterwards that I was selling myself, man I'll sell them myself, man. What? I'll sell them myself. What do you mean? Oh, you're being a, like a,

you know, the man's a the question. Really? Yeah, man, they call me, you know, you know, I'm doose big below the American Negro Jigaloo. Oh my goodness. So what type of money are we talking about? What is a menu of Aaron McPherson? Look like what is it?

What is a menu, Dick? Right. Okay, so what's the amount of money for Dick? She know about a good, cool 200 or something, man. I'm cheap. Right. Okay, was that the only thing on the menu just dick? Of course man shit. But I mean again what's like the rail food man you know I got food too I'll

make some food for you. Okay dick in the sandwich what do you got? Yeah exactly. So come on like what's the price range here, exactly? What's the price range? All right, I'm sending it right now since I'm on this. It's about $750. $750? Yeah, for some dick and some chicken. Wow.

For a second, I thought it was going to be actual $750. Like, you would give two quarters of a chain. What about if you put a piece of chicken on your dick? Like, you know, a biscuit type shit. That is true. I can make a do what to do. It's true. The old chicken dick.

You'll chicken dick biscuit. Put your dick up on the motherfucking counter. Let's see this shit. If I get you making some money tonight, bro. We're gonna find out exactly what this dick should be worth. OK, so you came across money being a jiggle-o. Yeah. All right, what else do you do?

You seem like a busy man. What else do I do? You seem like you have a lot of side hustles. Stuff is in the trunk of your car right now. For sale. You know. D, don't laugh like that. Come on.

He can't even see you, but he knows what you do. He knows D. D is not used to me saying that someone has stuck in the trunk of their car. Just be working, just be hunting and shit. What? Just be working. Huntin? Oh. Yeah man, just chillin? Tell me one of your secrets. All right. Hey, there's some bitches in the windfield. I was fucking named after you. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man.

I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man.

I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man.

I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. I was just a little bit of a man. Tell me one you'll see. All right. Hey, there's some bitches in the windfield. I was, I was fucking, and they man's like to get cooked. So I was fucking bitches in front of their niggas. Oh, okay, and they pay you for that. That's yet, yeah. Okay, what was it like an internship or something like that? Wow, so what do the guys do when they're watching you bang their women? Should I don't know why I'm looking at them again?

It's a really good point That was the correct answer That was a trick and you. That was the correct answer. That was a trick and you did not take the bait whatsoever. I ain't looking at them in words was the correct answer. That was exactly what I had written down here. You didn't have to phone a friend or anything for that one. You absolutely nailed it. Okay. Were they fully

clothed though, right? No gay shit's going on there. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, gay shit. Right. Right. Then I'm leaving, bro. No, you got to stay, Paulie. No, gay shit, no, no, no, no, no, gay shit. Demand, this is rules. Aaron, tell us one more fun fact about your life for something that you've done. Any special skills or talents other than stand-up comedy seem like the kind of guy that has like a fucking magic trick or something like that. Oh, you think, man. What do I do special, man? Shit, I make bitches come.

Okay, which brings me to my final point. There's been kind of a theme on tonight's show. Oh damn, damn. It's been kind of a theme where each person that comes on stage has shared one of their tricks of eating pussy. Can you share with us an eating pussy trick from Aaron McPherson? All right. I'm waiting for this moment.

Hey, you said that and you take that thing, you bust it open. Oh, all the way open. holy shit, look at that. Wait, are those the legs or the legs? That's a big one. My goodness. Are you stuffing a turkey? What's going on here, exactly? You bust that thing open, man.

Then you stick your head through there and just be like, wow. Whoa. Oh, dude, that shit though, like that. Yeah, man, man, I even got a gang song, man. You know, just involves that shit though, like that. Yeah, man, I even got a gang song, man. You know just involves two fingers in. Whoa. Oh, my goodness.

Absolutely. Let's see a backstage, bro. Aaron, you got a joke book last time you were on. Yes, sir. A big one. Yes, sir. There you go. You did it again.

Congratulations. You're going to leave here with a gel blaster. Thanks so much for Aaron McPherson, everybody. Yeah. All right, so one more little special treat. Golden ticket winner out of Houston, Texas, the move to here. We're going to watch his new minute together,

fighting the good fight. Not easy out here on these streets for a lot of comedians. New guns coming around every corner in this. And this is one of the oldest Golden Ticka winners believe it or not five years ago in Houston, Texas makes noise for with a new minute This is Enrique Chacon everybody Yo yo yo what's up on the fuck Yo yo yo, what's up on the fuckers? Fuck yeah man, I got a problem sweating dude. Like I sweat so much man, I identify as a Baptist preacher dog.

During the summer I identify as brisket bitch. It's wild man, like have you ever sweat so hard at the mall that people think you're crying dog? I was just at the mall trying to find some vans dripping, dude. And the security officers approached me like, sir, sir, are you having a mental health crisis? And I was like, no, officer, just a regular health crisis.

So yeah, man, like I sweat so much, I'm afraid I have missionary sex with my girl, because I really think she's going gonna drown down there, dude. You know, sometimes when I fucking with a big soaked t-shirt almost feel like I'm waterboarding her. Like, is this really the best thing you ever had? So yeah, man, dude, whenever we meet my girl, fuck, dude, we don't go to downtown, y'all. We go to Schlitterbond, you know what I'm saying? Well, yeah, that's been my time, but I appreciate y'all. Boom, exactly a minute in Rika, Chacon. He's done it again.

Likeable, adorable, sweet, sweet thing in Rika, Chacon. How's life? Pretty fucking good, so far, Tony. I recently recorded a training video for Shripli's Donuts, dog. You wait, what did you do for the donuts? I did a training video. You know how you get a job.

You got to watch that training video. I did that, but with Donuts, baby. Oh my God. Are you training people how to eat the donuts? Yes. Oh, don't get me wrong, dog. I did a lot of that too, bro. Hey, come on, Donny.

Don't do that to me. I did a lot of that too, bro. Oh my goodness. I was standing in front of a literally the shittiest Shippley's don't us bro ghetto is shit homeless guy outside and it's just me in a camera And I'm just like would you like some don't know holes with that? Pretty much that Wow All right very good, so you're not a buckies anymore. Oh, I'm still a buckies dude, but

So that's where I saw you right? Oh, yeah I'm still at Bucky's, dude, but... So that's where I saw you, right? Oh, yeah. I thought we were going to some little town, and we stopped at a Bucky's, and I'd never been in one before, and I walked in, and it was there. You were a big waving behind the camera, right?

You're in a dream. You guys got in trouble for that, right? Yeah, no, no, we didn't get in trouble, bro. But raw white walked out to me. He's just like, can I get a job application? Ha-ha-ha. And I told him, he was white enough, and he was a good enough to be a manager, bro. Straight to manager. Imagine that. No, so think it's too about brisket. But congratulations, man. You've done a, you've been fun to watch your grow as a

young comic on this day. It's also been fun to watch your comedy get better and evolve. We're giving them a... We got to do both. We got to watch you grow and evolve as a comedian. Ship please dip, pay me by the dust and baby, that shit was fucking... At the end of the day, they were like, take as many boxes as you want, bro. Fuck, dude. Oh, damn.

How many donuts do you think you ate? Oh, no, dude. Maybe like 24? Oh, shit. Good as shit. You know, it don't know dude maybe like 24. Oh shit. Good as you know It's bad when red bands like Jesus Wow 24 donuts just sweat bullets over a box of donuts it was so it was so comfortable at first Because they gave me the thinnest shirt, dude, so the whole time I was recording my nipples were so hard, bro.

Oh, yeah. Pauli knows. I show you my tits, Pauli. No, no, we're good. So what's up? All right. His tie? So what's up with your tie thing?

That looks like your Indian. You're not Mexican, bro. No, this is a cowboy choker, bro. Well, everything's a choker on you. That top button is holding on for dear life right now. Look at that fucking thing. It's sweating. I see your top button has its own beats of sweat on it right now.

Holding it all together. So is that true? You fuck your girl and you sweat a lot then, too, right? But a lot, bro. Bring a towel and everything. Oh, both with. A towel. So, bring a towel and everything. Oh, my goodness. A towel. So she's just covered in sweat.

Yeah. Fucking unbelievable. Absolutely incredible. Now, there's been a theme tonight. I don't know if you know this, but I want to know, do you have any tricks to eating donuts? You got to eat them from the back, Tony. Hey, oh, the old chocolate, a player.

Rocky Road, Dona, baby. Oh, hell yeah. Some of that maple glaze. Link your fingers afterwards, dude. Oh, absolutely. Hold your breath, airclaw. Absolutely. In Rike, we love you.

There he goes. Golden tick a winner in Rike, Chacon, everybody. Thank you so much, y'all. Follow me on Rike. Comedy,, y'all. Follow me on our reek a comedy. Love y'all. Hell yeah. Hey, see me at Bucky's or to Donut Blaze. Oh my god.

There's only one way to end an episode like this, ladies and gentlemen. Oh. Oh. I spent the entire weekend with this man doing sold out theaters absolutely on the top of his game. I mean, absolutely incredible to see. He has the record for all time appearances on the show and interviews on the show,

the only living member of the Killtoni Hall of Fame. Some people call him the Tijuana Tarantula. The San Francisco buttermilk biscuit, the Memphis Strangler, the vanilla gorilla. This is the Big Red Machine, lights out William Montgomery. In a last-gen airlines pilot, High on Mushrooms, tried to shut off the plane's engines mid-flight a couple weeks ago before being subdued, proving that mushrooms are totally safe because even if you try to crash a plane, you can't crash a plane.

Webster's dictionary just added the word girl boss. Just know this, ladies, if I ever call you a girl boss I respect you just as much as a normal boss But seriously if you're called girl boss you're probably called raging bitch by everyone else in your life But seriously, I'm still waiting for the FBI to indict 36 Mafia on Rico charges. This is what they do for Mafia people, okay, listen. Funny how some of the same people posted about climate change, also sharing horoscope memes. Climate change is real, it's science.

Also, I'm Sagittarius, so you know I'd be judging real quick this month. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. OK, that's my time. Thank you. Wow.

He did it again. Ladies and gentlemen, like only he can coming in at the end every week showing everybody how it's done in his own defined style The wild stylings of William Montgomery so nice to be here tonight I think everybody will be happy to know Tony and I went to a Russian bathhouse in San Francisco on Saturday morning and we saw one another others penises for the first time.

We did. We did. Archimedes, Banya. Shout out. I think that's the name. Yeah, Archimedes, Banya. Fucking greatest place I've ever been to in my entire life. And that was just for the Dix.

But it was also. Yeah, their penis is everywhere. The state of the art shit, true old school Russian throwback. It's the only thing about San Francisco that it's amazing right now Because that place is literally a fucking I mean, it's like a hellscape right now. I mean there were people doing math shooting up stuff drinking stuff I mean so many people in wheelchairs and obnoxious I'm like in homeless people in wheelchairs

It was like there was a wheelchair basketball game going on, but there was no basketball. Just people going in the streets and back and forward and it was fucking crazy. I don't know what's going on there, but nobody's walking anymore. They've literally just gotten all the, they all have wheelchairs now and they are rolling around.

It was crippled people fucking everywhere in San Francisco and crippled people fucking everywhere in San Francisco. And crippled people already give me the creeps sometimes. I mean, it was a nightmare. More human shit on a sidewalk than I've seen in three years in a weekend. Yeah, they don't even remember when they used to go to like alleyways and stuff.

They used to have some fucking pride. Now, they literally, they just stand up out of the wheelchair straight up. And then next to the wheelchair, they take a shit and then they get back in the wheelchair And they fucking roll away from the scene of the crime. It's kind of like red beans mom's house I mean she's getting older. You'll know that bitch be all these days and I mean she is shit and fucking everywhere in that Look at the wheels. You're turning over here. So what was Tony's dickline?

Like, what would you review it? Yeah, I'd talk about my dick a little bit. We put our penises beside each other. We had to get to the bottom of whose penis is bigger. Tony's penis was bigger than mine, but I don't know, four or five inches. It was... I mean, he had this huge penis down there. I was honestly, I was blushing when I saw it. When we go inside it...

And by the way, that was after I got out of the cold plunge. Yeah, I was shocked. I mean, oh man. So William, what's up? Oh, good question. Did I mention that Paulie has the jam in the van show on YouTube? No, William, so you peed in the bottle, correct? Oh, yeah, well.

Yeah, well, I was trying to. Well, I was trying to. I like it when you guys talk at the same time. That's the best thing for the show. You guys could do that more often. That'd be great. No, I couldn't pee in the bottle. Tony wouldn't let me pee in the bottle,

but we did stop at an in and out pretty soon after that, but I was horrified. I mean, I had to pee so fucking fast. The reason why I knew you had to pee, because that was the same day. We were in San Fran, we went to this diabolical fucking sweat house from the heavens. I mean, levels and levels of different crazy fucking saunas.

So we were drinking an obnoxious amount of water, and even though it's funny, twice in this episode, this comes up. I never have to pee, but I had to pee so bad. So when I heard from the back of the van, like, hey, you done with that bottle? Can I see that bottle? Can you like pour some of this in that bottle?

I knew what the fuck was going on. So I turn around and go, William, are you about to piss in that bottle? And somehow Hans looked more guilty than you, but I knew what was going on. So I did. I had the first ever peace stop in her touring history. Tony, do you want to tell the people who peed longer?

Because that was a bit of a competition we had. We did actually, we did not have a dick size competition in the bathhouse, but we actually did have a P time-length competition in the In-N-Out bathroom, and I was pretty sure that I was going to win, but my giant P-hole costs me a real problem on this one, because I was just pissing like a horse. And in the stall next to me, I just hear this little...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't give a fuck to tell my P-bid. I just hear this little... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't give a fuck to tell my penis! And I peed for literally like three fucking minutes. It was crazy. Your pee-hole, I mean. Absolutely tiny.

There's just no way to describe it other than it is. It's a god's sense of humor. Yeah, it's really small. Also who has a small TT whole red band's mom. Oh, shit. Oh my god. I've got to put the whole thing. I've got to put the whole thing.

Wow. Hers isn't that small because of cancer, though. Whoa. Yeah, I have skin cancer. Why would you bring that up, dumbass? I have to go under the fucking knife in two weeks. Wow, you have to go under the knife for Ed Bans going under the fork. Because he likes food. And his mom's under the table because her BTS is drawn all the time.

There's shit everywhere. She's peeing all over the fucking place. She's drunk under tables. She's the one who gave me herpes, by the way. Tony asked me, we did. Look at each other's penis, as I've herpes on my penis right now. He's like, where'd you get that?

I was like, you know, rep as mom. Bitch. Mm-hmm. This is all true, I am. Oh, my- Oh, my- Oh, it's all true. You Oh my, oh, you know. Oh, you know. You know, talking about it.

In the 1990s when mom's jokes came out, my mom told me, like, don't worry about it, son. I know all the people in the playground are talking about me being a whore with a small p-hole and all this shit. And it doesn't bother me anymore, William. So. You were at a playground at one point?

I mean, it was the McDonald's playground. It was the McDonald's playground. I got stuck in one of the tubes. There you go, a little self-deprecation from Red Man. Look at that. Spotted around on himself. Wow. You were in a tube eating a little big Mac. All right. from Red Band, look at that. Spotted around on himself. Wow.

You were in a tube eating a little big back. All right. William, anything else going on in life? What else is that? Nothing just after the cancer diagnosis I've been playing. You don't want to hear this Tony, but I'm going to be honest with you to find out. Yeah, I've been back on the video games. Back on Diablo 4, I'm a motherfucking level 92 sorcerer right now. Oh my goodness

Okay, I was expecting more applause for that. I should have said that okay But yeah, just doing that incredible weekend in the theaters mixing in new material everybody was amazed very very exciting stuff It was wonderful felt great. It's been a real, a real pleasure. OK. Kind of sounded like a lie, but I know you mean it. It's been a real pleasure, Tony. Yeah, get ready, Tomah! Ha!

I love doing that with Joe ask, don't act! It's been a ton of fun, eh? You know it's been a ton of fun! And we did look at each other's penises at the fucking pin. And my balls, too, you didn't mention my balls at all. I actually didn't see his balls, they're very small. I mean, it's a big... I can't. You son of a bitch.

What did I tell you? I said, when you, when we could do the show, on Monday, you tell every one of the sudden. What do Hans Kim do when you guys went to the bathhouse? He was there, too. No, he was there. What did that tick look like? Oh, dude, you don't want to know.

Just look like a pussy, right? No, no. Mostly pubes. A lot of pubes. Like a pussy, just look like a pussy. Yeah, I think it, mostly pubes. A lot of pubes. It's like a pussy, just like a pussy. Yeah, I think it's called an inverted penis, what do you have? Basically, you could only see kind of the tip of it

coming out of the hole. Sort of underneath his mouth. Like a piece of soap. So just sneaking through the bushes. Yes. Pfft. Yeah. How is this p-hole, though?

I don't know. We were, Ron's wasn't in the pee competition. No. I thought I was going to be William, but yeah, at all, by the bigger flow. William, you're absolutely unbelievable. The way that you come in every single week and absolutely drop the hammer, it's insane.

I just love you. Everybody loves you. You're on top of the floor. It's really a cute thing. You got anything coming up? You want to promote or anything? Just give me on that cameo app. Please. We go get the cameos. There goes William Montgomery everybody

How about one more time for the great Ron white everyone. He's on tour tater salad dot com Paulie sure jam in the van show with Paulie sure true very more his fiance and Tordates of course he's always on the road killing it shut up to gelblaster red rose yellow rose connect mobile health I the IV drip company connect mobile health Austin security guard service ninja buses comm Hall lot firm and Austin pulls dot com How about one more time for the best standband in the land the Killtony band? We have a drawing from Ryan J. E-Belt the real show on YouTube. He's here live in the flesh Look at that. That's the actual Ryan J. E-Belt over there. It's been drawing every episode since the start of the show

And we also have a drawing from local artists Chris Rogers is also here. Oh shit Of course Ryan's is every episode of the show. I have them scattered throughout my place. Check out the best of our Ryan G belt.com. Of course, all the Kiltoni books from Ryan G belt.com. All right, here to take us out tonight, Red Band Anything else. Check out the secret show every Thursday sunset strip ATX.com. There you go. And we have a special treat for you. Some amazing artists from around the globe come to Austin, Texas. We are graced by the amazing presence of the Dunwells tonight. Check them out on Spotify and everywhere where music is available. Amazing, amazing musicians. This is their hit new debut all-time high. Makes noise for the Dunwells everybody they're here alive in the flush all the way from England

Here to sing a little song for you and here we go. This is the Dunwells enjoy yourselves everyone. Thank you. Good night everybody. Thank you so much What's the point sticking around? We have better days to go I'm not waiting for that good light and whatever comes my way I'll keep dancing in the rain, good things come to those who go for it Running the waiting for, life isn't open though, living it up, oh, I'm living it up, oh, I'm living it up, oh, I'm living it up, oh, I'm nothing but blue skies, I'm sunning my eyes, I'm living for the good times, it up Oh, because I'm on an old time high I'm on an old time high Turn in, bitch, it's a sweet I'll keep making lemonade What a lovely radio, I'm not waiting for that green light

I'm living it up Oh, living it up Oh Living it up Oh Another blue sky So in my eyes I'm living for the good times Living it up

Oh Cause I'm on it all time high I'm on it's time morning, it's time high I'm starting to feel real life for the journey Just the days, oh yeah Oh, I'm living it up, I'm living it up, I'm living am on the roadside I, I, I am on the roadside I, I am on the roadside ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ

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