KILL TONY - KILL TONY #18

Episode Date: October 20, 2013

Owen Smith, Adam Ray, Iron Patriot, Tony Hinchcliffe, Sara Mostajabi, Kimberly Congdon, Brian Redban – Date: 09/30/2013 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.TV. Please check out our website because we're going to be going on the road. Me and Tony and Sam Tripoli are going to San Diego October 31st at the American Comedy Club. We're bringing a bunch of secret comics, surprise comedians. It's going to be a huge party on Halloween. So go to AmericanComedyCode.com to get your tickets or just go to DeathSquad.TV. Scroll down just a teeny bit, you'll see our live shows, including

this show, which we do every Monday, Kill Tony, at the Comedy Store at 8 o'clock, followed by the Ding Dong Show at 10 o'clock both shows are free every Monday go to DeathSquad.tv for the links, or just go to the Comedy Store's website, TheComedyStore.com

also check out shop squad.tv that's the official t-shirt for death squad it's a limited edition once it's sold it sells out it's sold out forever so just go to shop squad.tv to pick up your kitty cat limited edition number three t-shirt and now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Bank coming to you from the live, uh, from where? The Comedy Store! For a brand new episode of Kill Tony, give it up for Tony Hitchcliff.

Oh yeah, baby. Here we are. This is the fucking shiznit. Shiznizzle. Here we are. Another beautiful Monday. It's very humbling to be back in my home court here in front of a thunderous, what appears to be about 14 people. Not even a laugh on that. So we're off and banging. I think the audience is feeling probably like what

at least I am. Maybe you are. Post-breaking bad hangover? No. Just very tired. This was a long five days we had. We went on an adventure. It was unbelievable. And my God, you, Phoenix, and Ohio, and everybody that traveled to those shows, those Kill Tony fans. I mean, it's always been amazing touring with the Death Squad and everything and getting

to feel that thunderous fan base in the beginning. But to think that we're only 18 Mondays in a row with this show going and pumping and to hear everybody's input. I must have been asked a hundred different questions and at least 40 of those questions had to do with the one and only head of security for Kill Tony. As always, put your hands together for the Iron Patriot, everybody. Fuck yeah. That's what he does. Yeah, there's a lot of people that love you, Iron Patriot. Thank you.

I appreciate all the love. I'm really getting a lot of people that love you, Iron Patriot. Thank you. I appreciate all the love. I'm really getting a lot of nice comments from the fans. I really can't believe it. But, Tony, I wanted to talk to you. I'm really excited about the podcast festival on Friday. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to spending time with other people that love podcasting like me. Yes.

And I'm looking at the schedule on Friday at 7 o'clock. It looks like the festival starts at 1 on Friday, and then Marc Maron comes on at 7, and then Dana Gould, which I like. I always hear him on the Adam Carolla show. He does a good Heal Houser impersonation. And then we come on at 11 with Death Squad. It looks like we're in good company that night.

Heck yeah, man. The Squarespace ballroom, the big room. I think it overlooks the beach with big windows and stuff. Yeah, we got the big room. Heck yeah, man. In the Squarespace ballroom. The big room. I think it overlooks the beach with big windows and stuff. Yeah, we got the big room. Fuck yeah. This is very exciting. You can feel it by the electricity in this room right now. Hey, Redman, can I ask you,

when you went to the Funny Bone and performed with Bert Kreischer on Saturday night, was that a surprise or did you have that planned? No, I was just going to hang out and drink with him. He's thrown me up before and before so i i it wasn't that big of a shock but it was a lot of fun it was uh it's pretty much like a cool unknown thing that when like two comedians that know each other well or especially friends but if you are coincidentally you're in the same city at the same time it's pretty much like a known thing that unless your shows collide,

you might as well just do a guest spot on a friend's show. The club never cares. Nobody's going to be like, what? An L.A. comic. Yeah. It was weird seeing his audience. He has a really weird mix of an audience. His audience were like, you could tell there was the Death Squad

and the podcast fans. But then there was also, because he's on TV, he's on the travel channel, Trip Flip. So there's like this shark week. Yeah. So then there's like these people that watch TV fans, which was mixed in with

bad pot smokers like us. He has a great fan base. But it was really cool doing comedy in front of him. It was really cool driving out to Arizona, doing a road trip with Benji and PDC. PDC lit it up at Stand Up Live in Phoenix. Our good friend who did a guest spot here the week before, Pete lit it up in Phoenix. Yeah, he did great.

Yep. Benji came in right over the top. Crushed. Crushed. You. Me. Is it crushed? Crushed. Crushed.

Crushed. Yeah. And then you went to the Ohio State game Saturday. What time did you start drinking? You started tailgating. You know, there's a thing with me in which, believe it or not, and my friends never believe this, but the ones that I do comedy with do, I don't day drink ever. I only have a thing where I'm a big Ohio State Buckeye football fan, and if I go to a game, I'll day drink for that.

And man, I forgot how much fun day drinking was. It was unbelievable. It's hard when the night comes, though. I think I started at about... No, I pace myself, though, because I'm freaky like that, because I really don't want to be fucking depressed at nighttime in Columbus, Ohio. So I definitely kept an eye on it. But I started drinking at about probably... I woke up very late because I knew that I was in for an 8 p.m. night game.

So I woke up at like 2.30 in the afternoon, went and got some lunch, drank a coffee. I probably started drinking at about 4 o'clock. I was probably drunk by about 4.02 because my tolerance is non-existent anymore. It's pretty exciting.

For those of you that like drinking, I highly recommend trimming down having a nice lean cut ripped body and just let that alcohol flow straight into your intestines why have extra weight on your body

trim it down, become a vegan get strong, do cardio every day and then you won't have to drink a lot how many spritzers does it take for you to get drunk? I bought this shirt because if you don't know, Ohio State hates Michigan.

It's like this rival thing. It's the oldest rivalry in sports. So I bought this shirt which I thought would be funny not because of wearing it in Ohio but coming back to Los Angeles where no one understands what the fuck. It just seems like I'm being a dick to Michigan

because it says... Jesus hates Michigan. It has a picture of Jesus on it. In Los Angeles, it just seems like I'm just being a dick to Detroit or something. Which is hilarious, A. And B, it's so worth it when Don Barris and Frasier Smith

and the few other Michigan fans you know when they see that and that's Scarlet and Gray it just tells a whole story it's amazing that's the real reason I buy it just so Don Barris can see it yeah exactly so much fun oh you son of a bitch always fun man we've done shows with

them before this I mean like I said like shows before have been amazing, but it seems like it's just getting so much bigger and more exciting. I mean, not only are the turnouts, the numbers great, but it's like just the quality of the actual fans. I almost feel like at times they're joking with me when they're like oh my god I've listened to every episode I know every single thing I can't believe the patriot with his banana and they just name off so many everything facts and they just go on

and on and it's so exciting because I could talk about this show forever you know but to find out that so many other people but yeah and Christina and Tom's thing these your mom's House fans, that huge podcast in which I talked about how both of my parents did illegal mob work to raise me as a kid at one point in my life. And they loved that episode. That was a fun little interview that I had on there.

Did you go see your mom in Youngstown? Nope, stayed in Columbus. Normally she comes down for those shows, but she did not come down this time. What about Red Band's mom? Did you go over and see her? You saw my mom? Yeah, I saw Red Band's mom. You're right. There you go. I saw my dad.

Can you cough any other direction? I saw my dad and my stepmom, and I brought my friend there, who's a very attractive female. And I was like, hey, when you want to go, I just have to hang out with my dad for like a half hour to an hour to say hi. And the whole time I'm watching my dad just creepily check out my friend. Like just eyeing her up and down and then getting caught like over and over by her. And I just I never realized how creepy my dad is. He's been married for like 25 years. Every dad is.

I can't bring girls around my dad, I don't think. It's creepy. The kind of women. I mean, you're a mogul and a producer and a podcast. I mean, not only are you – it's not like you're just taking any kind of chick to your dad. You hang out with beautiful women, Brian. What kind of dad isn't going to sit there used to the same wife that he's been with for how many years? 25 years.

25 years. And think of you. I don't want to see it, though. Imagine being with the same woman for 25 years, Brian. You have that blood pumping through your veins. That's so horrible. What a horrible, horrible, horrible thought. One last thing.

Horrible, horrible, horrible, I thought. One last thing. You know, one of the weirdest things that I've noticed when going back to Ohio is everyone has an accent, an Ohio accent, that I don't think I have anymore. But when I was in Ohio, I caught myself kind of doing it. What is it? What are you talking about? Everybody in Ohio kind of has this thing where it's like everything's kind of just drawn out. Man, we went to Meyers last night. We swear to God, we saw this girl. It's kind of has this thing where it's like everything's kind of just drawn out. Man, we went to Meyers last night, and we swear to God we saw this girl.

Like, it's kind of like a – That's not everybody in Ohio. There's a lot of people in Ohio. There was a lot of people that traveled to that show from Cincinnati, from Kansas. I know what you're saying, but there's also, like, that rural area around Columbus. Right. I think there's just a lot of different people mixed in. Somebody drove here tonight from Canada for this show. Are you serious?

Where's that guy at? Are you here? Wow. Fuck yeah. The Barker. Bob Barker. I didn't drive in. I flew in.

Oh, nice. There you go. From where? Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Ottawa. Fuck yeah. Jesus Christ. It was funny because you can't, like, Ohio has some really stupid rules also.

You can't do U-turns. And it's like when you're so used to doing U-turns, it seems like the dumbest idea that you're not allowed to do U-turns. Oh, that was hilarious. Oh, my God. I laughed so hard at this. Yeah, you can't do U-turns in Ohio, which is the stupidest thing ever. But, you know.

So I would do a u-turn and then we'd be like acting like the other like drivers right like they freaked out that you know like you could tell right they're just like what is that maniac doing what is that some kind of witch he's a witchcraft and then you got a hotel a 50 hotel that he bought online it's called the knights inn and it's downtown columb Columbus on the worst part of Columbus. But on the map, and I forgot what part of Columbus that was. On the map, it looked legit, but the two miles or mile and a half or whatever

to the actual city that it was was the worst mile and a half in all of Columbus. It was next to a used mattress store. Yeah, and it was next to a used tire store. Yeah, and it was next to a used tire store. Who buys used tires? I mean, I don't get it. It's like, I need to buy a new tire. Can you just take this off and then put it back on? Thank you.

Used tires. Only in rural Columbus. And his... So we got to the Knights Inn and I'm like, fuck this shit because it looked like every bad scene in Breaking Bad. One story where it was just hookers

hanging outside the door. It was like their in-call, I guess is what they're called, where they just go, come on back to my, I got a hotel room. All the rooms were rented by the hour. And then you actually said, should I stay here? Oh, and I didn't.

Right. No. Fuck that. Well, there's a part of me that's just like, fuck it. I mean, I'm taking a cab wherever anyway. It's just I'm not going to, you know, I don't really spend any time at the hotel anyway. But no, that was creepy. Anytime the hotel door is out.

When you go outside, that's just too much. Yeah, right outside into the park. I need a hallway out there. Yeah. I'm going to a strange city. I need a hallway out there. Yeah. I'm going to a strange city. I need a hallway outside my door. There's no way. And you can't trust the cleanliness.

Like, how clean are you that bad? You know what? That's another thing. Even after I stayed at the nice hotel, you know what drives me fucking crazy? I don't want to have to. They should have the thing on the outside of the door when you get there. I don't need to put it on. on the outside of the door when you get there.

I don't need to put it on. It should be take this off if you want somebody waking you up at fucking 8 a.m. to clean your room. Who's into that? Who's waking up at 6 a.m. in Columbus like, oh, I'm going to go get a head start on the day. They're going to come clean my room in a bit. I never even let maids in my room. I'm done

with that whole thing. That's what I'm saying. I don't need it at all. When you go to a hotel, you want to fucking live dirty and gross. You want to take off everything right at the other side of the door. It's not like home. It's a whole different experience. And if that's not how you do hotels, then you're not doing hotels right.

I'm here to tell you. You need to get sloppy and stupid. Just spill shit once in a while. It doesn't matter. You always have to tip the maid. I always tip her at least five, ten bucks for the blood stains and all that shit. Alright. I cannot believe that that just happened. Why does this always happen to me? That was the best

one ever. The comedic timing of the accidents of this show are unbelievable. I feel like I just got slapped. That was unbelievable. You floated the bloodstains joke and just bloop bloop.

Comedy store is mad about that joke. Comedy store is so creepy. This place is haunted as fuck. Well, you guys know the format of the show. A lot of comedians here. Are you guys excited to get this thing started? Before we do, we always have two of my best friends,

two of my funniest friends, two of my best friends, people that I work with all the time, that I'm lucky to work with. And this one, as always, is a fucking spectacular show. I'm so excited about it. So as always, I'll just bring them up at about the same time. First, one of my funniest friends. We've basically been hitting everything together for years We riff like crazy in the parking lot here Which is one of the funnest things about doing comedy together with friends Is just standing in a circle with them for hours at a time And riffing and having fun

Anyway, he was in the movie The Heat You can see him touring all around the country Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Adam Ray, everybody, is here. He's in movies, television, huge YouTube channel. And our other guest, unbelievable comedian, Comedy Central, everything. He's a freak of nature. Writer for the TV show Whitney. Put your hands together for one of my funniest friends.

Owen Smith is here. In the motherfucking house. Boo. Welcome, man. Yeah. Yeah. Owen's tall as fuck. Yeah, man. Yeah. Long? Do you prefer long or tall? fuck. Yeah, man.

Yeah. Long? Do you prefer long or tall? Hey, you know. Either one. Hell yeah. Six nickel. Is that a nickname?

That should be. That's my height. Six nickel? Yeah. Six nickel. I went to the gym and he tried to measure my fat content and he couldn't find my waist because he was too low. I was like, it's my waist is like by my nipples heck yeah patriot how tall are you i'm about six four really yeah can i just say how big of a fan i am of you patriot i've said

i've seen uh a few you're just i mean i uh yeah what are you doing with your hand are you fucking scaring me when you're holding up like like that? Just showing you some love. Oh, okay. Just giving you the themes. But that's you showing love, but because this isn't a normal thing to see somebody in public, and when you do that, I thought you were putting a curse on my family for 10 minutes. I was checking you out today. You were checking me out?

Yeah. I was checking out your podcast about last night. Yeah. And it's a very unique show because your sidekick is not only a comedian, but he's a little person. Yeah. His name is Brad Williams. You can say midget, too.

Yeah. I went back to the first podcast and listened, and I thought a great story I thought on there was how John Stamos of Full House is scared of dwarves. He's scared of dwarves. Very interesting. I would never of dwarves, yeah. Very interesting. I would never have known that. Yeah, yeah. He thinks.

And you know what's funny is that when you don't know anything about little people, you create these like. Preconceptions. Yeah, and fears and stereotypes that could happen. And Stamos told Brad that he was like, I don't know what's going to happen if I hug you. Like maybe I'll turn into stone. Yeah, yeah. And he was serious about that. Yeah.

Have you ever met a little person? Well, I mean, after Wizard of Oz, I love little people. You see them sing the Yellow Brick Road and all that stuff. Wow. I'm just saying, I mean, how could you be scared of them? I'm just saying, how could you? They're great in Time Bandits. I loved them.

I mean, they're great. I love that you're acting like it's just like three that are in all these movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still waiting to hear from Tony how many points I got I was eating in a restaurant and I saw two little people enjoying brunch with a tall person

it looked like they had sex or some weird reason it was like definitely walk a shame meal and I got a sweet photo and I texted to Tony. Y'all know he has this great joke about how many points you get. And I still haven't gotten my point total. I mean that's one of those ones

that is just anytime anybody sends me one it's just like thousands of points. I've gotten sent. I mean that was a great one because that's totally the picture just says the picture totally says they all had sex. It went down. There's no doubt about it.

They're not just eating a normal brunch. They had a threesome, two little people, and one. Right, exactly. What about the body language spoke that? Oh, I mean just – I can't tell you. It's hard to describe. Well, just the fact that you know that some shit went down. If there's two midgets, they definitely fucked.

So then you're wondering if they're having lunch with this guy, either this is the fucking pounder. You know what I mean? I wonder how that works. I bet that they could double 69, like build the bridge. That was my next question. What position do you do? The guy could lay on the bottom, right? And then they could build the Golden Gate Bridge.

One person like that, and then another person like that. That's got to be what it's called. The Golden Gate Bridge. Somebody's peeing on somebody at that point. Even if it doesn't happen then, they're peeing on him afterwards. Yeah, afterwards, that's how they say goodbye.

Right. You know a midget that gets a lot of respect is that Peter Dinklage on Game of Thrones. He gets some respect on that shit. I feel like you secretly have this giant shrine to midgets

in your, wherever you live, your basement. Do you live in a basement? I like them. Are midgets six, like regular length, or are they proportional to the body? Yeah, well, Brad says his is six inches, which he says is normal, but he goes, on me, it looks fucking huge.

Yeah, but does it have, like, a big head and, like, short balls? I mean, does it look? You know what? I've got to be honest. I never really, like, thought about it, but now that you bring it up, I kinda wanna fucking call him up and see if he can come over and send us a picture. You gotta see a photo of it. Have you seen him? I think you described a dwarf's penis. Oh, not a

penis. Okay. Hey, Owen. I don't know what Owen Smith. Yes, sir. I did some research on you. Okay. I read that you were born in the Bahamas in 1973. I was. 1973 I was You came to America at the age of one

Uh huh You graduated high school in Maryland You were voted most likely to succeed I was I saw you on Conan Okay I learned that you've been a Sprint customer for over 17 years This is what I want to ask you

Oh shit Who saw the point of view set everybody It's amazing I noticed that you have big hands Does that mean you have a big banana too i i i feel uncomfortable uh disclosing this with you but is it a myth or is it true i me per i don't you know here's the thing i never went around measuring mine with other people i can only tell you what women have told me and i don't know if they're lying or telling the truth but I've never had a woman tell me it was

not big. They just go, oh my god. Some women have said, you're not putting all that in me. I promise. That's happened to me twice. I guess I'm doing alright.

I literally don't know. I'm a grower. I'm not a shower. So if we're all regular, it's not impressive. Well, you know what's crazy about what I've learned so far in this show is that if any guy, by the way, out there has a six-inch dick, technically, you have a midget dick. Wow. That's a new term. That's some fucking unbelievable shit. Right now there's guys, like, it almost here.

When this podcast comes out next week, you're just going to hear shotguns going off all around the world. Here's my question. Does that mean they get a handicap sign? You should. That would be amazing. Oh, my God. Because Brad gets a handicap sign. He gets to park for free.

He just went to a Jay-Z concert and told me that you have to sit in the handicap seat. Brilliant. Because the guys, when you show them your pass, they're not going to be like, oh, yeah. Nobody wants to call and go, no, midget's not a handicap.

So the guy was like, obviously you can sit there. Are you serious? So if you have a six-inch dick and it's a midget dick, then do you get to also park it? From now on, if you have six inches or less,

you get to park in the handicap spot. I think it's a fair rule. That's hilarious. Has any man ever really measured their dick? Yes. Oh, yeah. Where do you start the tape from? From the backside of your butt cheek?

I wasn't happy with that number. 1996. I can start from here. Right. Exactly. You said 96. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like that's when it started.

The taping of the butt cheeks. Oh, my God. From the back of the butt cheeks. That's so funny. I do it right at the base, though, honestly. Do you? And there's no... I like how you're just like, hey, if we can stop joking for a second and actually talk about taping your butt and measuring your cock.

It's actually, yeah. I do it from the base. It seems like that. The one honest measurer is here do you now there's no way to tell how big a woman is you can't look at her feet or hands and go yeah is there an equivalent like how can you tell how deep i get would you be looking for deepness would you yeah that's what you would want to try to figure out how deep is it yeah you don't want to embarrass yourself i was with one girl i will i will this. I'm pretty good, but this one girl kept going

deeper, deeper. I was like, how deep is that? This is my move. This is it. How cavernous are you? There's no special extension on that. She kept saying, how deep?

Were you doing her in the pouch or the butt? Oh my God. Jesus. Watch your fucking mouth. The pouch. were you doing her in the pouch or the butt? Oh my god, Jesus. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch your fucking mouth. The pouch. You got crazy with that one. Well, I'm going to go process elimination.

You said pouch in the butt, so pouch in the vagina. What are you, fucking kangaroos over there? The pouch. Has that ever been a term where you're trying to just get that going trending? He fucked that bitch in the pouch. Hashtag pouch. I have a theory that I only started maybe a year ago, but it's pretty accurate.

If the girl has natural boobs and they're big, she has a wider pussy. Wow. Okay. You know what? I'm not going to argue that because I don't have any basis for comparison. Wide boobs? Wide boobs? Just try it out in the future.

Yeah, so if they have big boobs and they're natural, they usually have, it's not as tight of a pussy. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Oh. What did he say?

I'm going through his catalog. What did he say? The Bill Nye of perverts back there. What did he say? He goes, that's actually true. Yeah.

Oh, wow. That's something I read on Wikipedia actually. All you need is one other guy to agree and it's a thing. Yeah. I read it on largeboobwidepussy actually true. Yeah. Oh, wow. I read it on Wikipedia, actually. All you need is one other guy to agree, and it's a thing. Yeah. I read it on largeboobwidepussy.com. Yeah.

Somebody buy that domain. That's funny. Big Pussy Digest. Fuck yeah. Patriot, now why is that? I mean, your voice box is coming from not where the mic is, correct? It's in the chest. It is in the chest.

Yeah. Now, that looks like it's pointing at your pouch and not your chest. Yeah, I got a cord going from my mouth down in my chest and the sound's kind of coming out from that direction so we figured out this is the best position. Patriot, have you ever measured your penis? Yeah. It's pretty

good size. I've never had any complaints. Nobody's ever asked you to. You've never had any complaints, but you've only gotten laid a handful of times. I have had a lot of good girls It's just It's been a while But I'm I'm working on myself now Tony

That's good You want to work on yourself So that when the next time happens You want to make sure You're bringing the best patriot Yeah I'm at the podcast festival I might get some action this Friday

Now let me ask you this Do you like Like midgets like to fuck other Do you like to fuck other robots? Let me ask you this. Do you like... Like midgets like to fuck other... Do you like to fuck other robots? I wouldn't mind getting with the Black Widow in Iron Man 3.

Or Iron Man 2. Scarlett Johansson. So Scarlett Johansson. Yeah. Who is not a robot. Not a robot. The Latino ladies and the female hombre. I call that pouch the chili quesadilla.

Oh my God. I did my Salmaria last week. It was really good. Check that out. I have this Dirty Crowder Salmaria. Check out my YouTube videos if you get a chance. I definitely will. Who are you talking to right now? I'm not sure where this conversation is. Let me ask you this. Do you have special moves though with that

suit on? Is there like the fucking... Do you have a... Like what you did to me with the... Where you just put my... And you're doing that in her pussy, right? And she likes that. How many people do you know that can talk out of their banana? By the way,

Patriot has a knack for calling the penis a banana, by the way. It's cute. It seems like your dad said, hey, little son, suck this banana, and it just stuck. No, we got that song, and I'd just go to the grocery store every time back in the early 90s and get a big bag of bananas and throw them out. And it was just a good stick for our show.

It seemed to catch on. Do you rock the girth also? Do I what? The girth? Yeah. It's about a quarter or a half dollar. Yeah.

Yeah. A half dollar. Half dollar. Wow. You got very excited when he said half dollar. Yeah. I can I'm a good catch. Some woman better snatch me up because I'm ready. I've been working out. I haven't had sex in a while but I've been practicing porn and I can

last a long time. I'll be a suit in that house. Wait a second. Just because you can last long with porn doesn't mean you can last long with an actual woman. Back in 2003 when I, last time I had sex with that girl when I watched the last episode of Friends. 2007. I already noticed I was doing good.

It's true. But you know, the nice thing about me is I'm squeaky clean. You don't have to worry about me having any diseases. You're definitely squeaky, all right? That suit needs some WD-40. Jesus. Fuck. I think he just came. I think that's what that sound was.

I know, right? Yep, yep. Un-fucking-believable. That's hilarious. I work in mysterious ways, Tony Oh, yes What kind of music do you Like the soundtrack from Short Circuit?

Or like, what do you No, it's funky With rock, a little pop In there, you know It's a You say the soundtrack from Rocky? Oh, I love Rocky Gonna fly now

Gonna fly now I love that song That was a great movie, man That was touching Do you like to have movies on in the background while you're doing it? Touching Rocky was very touching I just watched Behind the Candelabra

Have you guys watched that with Michael Douglas? And Matt Damon, really good So when you're watching porn you sit there with a stopwatch And you hit start and you're practicing the last line I can just tell I got control of my banana. I'm not going to be like an American Pie. You remember when he blew it real quick?

You know, with a Shannon Elizabeth? Okay, let me ask you this. 2004 was the last time you were laid. And then the last day, the last episode of Friends. Oh my God. It was during the last episode of Friends. Did you watch that? Honestly, I don't remember whether I watched it. It was during the last episode of Friends. Did you watch that? Honestly, I don't remember whether I watched it.

It was a good one. It was good. But she let me play with her feet and touch her toes. One sock went off, then the next sock. And then it moved back to the bedroom. I remember it very vividly. What did you say when you took the first sock off? Like, ooh, look at those feet or some sort of catchphrase?

I was hoping she wouldn't have stopped me, but she seemed to like it. So I started playing with her toes and massaging the arch on her foot. She had the cutest little feet. Right, but when you first see the foot, you have to say some sort of compliment to her, right, to let her know that that's. No, no, I didn't want to say anything because I wanted her to stop me. He was stealthy. He was quietly removing her. Because friends are so funny, she would laugh. So you started her. So you start at the feet.

You've moved to the bedroom. At what point do you kill her? That's a good question. What's the part where you just start strangling her? That's a decent question. Starting to chop up the body. No, I'm not Jeffrey Dahmer. All right.

Well, here we are. Everything's set. The wheels, as always, are in motion. I feel like the energy is here. You guys ready to get this thing banging or what? This place is packed with comedians, as always, all here to test out

a new 60 seconds of material and get a chance to be interviewed by us and talk with us a bit. You have 60 seconds. At the end of that 60 seconds, you'll hear the meow of a kitty. That means your time is up. Don't go much longer, or else you're going to hear the angry West Hollywood bear. Very angry tonight.

So what do you guys say we get started, huh? Start picking names out of the bucket. Our first comedian tonight, Carlos De Jesus. Yeah. All right. Come on up. Comedy store employee. So I work at a nightclub

as a bouncer. I work here as a bouncer. It's very interesting. Sometimes they make us do stuff, which I'm not really a fan of. The other week, I was working an urban show, which is basically an all-black comic show. And there was one white guy in the audience. He was there with a black woman, and the host goes up to him and he asks him, hey man, how long have you been dating black women for?

And the guy looks at the host and goes, what's your problem, N-word? It got incredibly tense to the point where everybody was looking at me like, hey man, you've got to do something to defuse the situation. So I was just going to record it and upload it to WorldStarHipHop because that's what you do. I mean, like, what else am I going to do? Go run down there and get my ass kicked with them? You know?

That's it. That's all. Wow. A lot of comedians complain that it's only 60 seconds. Some of them just come in with a hardcore 39 seconds. And all right. So that actually happened. Yeah, that actually happened. Didn't you say that last time

you were on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said N-word or Edward? N-word. Oh. I got a lot of them. I think it was Edward the N-word. Yeah. I thought it said Edward. What's the, huh? Oh. My bad, my bad. So he said, what's your problem, nigga?

And then what happened? Was it a fight? No, there, nigga? And then what happened? Was it a fight? No, there was no fight. Basically what happened was the people were looking at me. Because it was Esau on stage. Esau basically was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, man, hey, man.

What's your name? What's your name? And then the guy goes, Kunta Kinte. Okay, then what happened? Everybody stood up and then that's pretty much what happened. Well, what happened after they stood up? Everybody stood up and nothing really happened. Who was everybody?. Well, what happened after they stood up? Everybody stood up, and, like, nothing really happened. Who was everybody?

The crowd? The crowd. Like, one at a time? Just kind of, like, standing, looking at the guy, waiting for him to say something else. And then what happened? Nothing. They all sat down? They all just sat down because Esau just kind of diffused the situation.

So, I mean, how did he diffuse? He saw the nigga, and then, yeah, I don't know either, man. I was there. I have no idea. I think the part that he missed is when esau pulled out a gun with a silencer on it and shot him in his forehead so none of that happened like so this white guy just the white guy said left calmly with this black woman called the host the nigga and just rolled out and you you enjoyed the show you had

the front row seat yeah at post-racialacial America or something like that. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. And that's why the night's not happening anymore, maybe. Like, nothing happened? No, I was thinking that somebody was going to get their ass kicked that night. That's why I was going to record it. Like, but nothing happened. So you got to establish.

Have y'all heard of World Star Hip Hop? No. Two people? Three people? Four. Four, and they're known for fights, right? And that's what people. Yeah, so you got known for fights, right? And that's what people... Yeah, so you gotta...

Yeah, I had no idea what it was. You gotta talk about how you wanted to get a fight up, you know? What could that do for you? Maybe what you were expecting to see, like to catch on the videotape. Like maybe you could instigate, he called you a nigga, that's all you gonna do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like nothing happened? Nothing. I was surprised too. Like maybe you could instigate He called you a nigga That's all you gonna do Yeah yeah yeah It's not like Right I don't know Like nothing happened Nothing I was surprised too Were you disappointed Like that's the joke

I was very disappointed I was very disappointed That nothing actually happened Yeah because there's Few guarantees When things are exchanged Where you feel like A situation's about to go down

And you feel like One of those guaranteed Situations didn't happen So you were disappointed It was like If you went to go see a movie Yeah you one of those guaranteed situations didn't happen. So you were disappointed. It was like if you went to go see a movie that was hyped up and then it sucked. Or maybe you go, I don't know,

maybe you order some sort of fucking meal at a drive-thru and supersize it and they don't like it. Yeah, it's like if you meet a girl with big natural tits and her pussy is small. What did we learn? What did we learn? Yeah, something? And even if

and even that I think the crazy twist in it is that in a room full of black people, some white guy said the N word and at the very end, because all you wanted was to get a good video clip, you ended up being the most offended when nothing happened, when the

situation was diffused. That is true. Yeah, man. Well, there you go. That's a big, big bunch of tags. I will say it was a suspenseful story. That was very interesting. I was like, what the fuck's gonna happen to me? And it's so real. You're using your perspective

as a door guy. People are probably wondering when they come see a comedy show, man, I wonder if anything crazy ever happens. So you can own that. Yeah, man. You got to tell us some of those crazy things, too, that made you go, oh, I want to hear those stories, too.

That's a good one. Yeah, just fill in those blanks. There you go. Carlos De Jesus. Los! Not on Twitter, huh? Wow. He said it's bumping. Carlos De Jesus.

He works the door here. i used to work the door here he's crazy i did my door time in south bend indiana oh yeah funny bone i was still in college i used to see people and then be the house in notre dame yeah wow you were going to notre dame working at a comedy club how cool my 10 000 i was in baby i didn't know that this was a thing yeah i know you could come out here and do it. I know. For real? That's exactly how it was for me, man.

I did every same run. I had no idea. You saw comedy only existed in Indiana. No, not that. No, but I didn't know that the same thing I did in Indiana happened here. Yeah, right. With the same thing, except from here you can go and you know get on the show yeah i just went and headlined in like ohio you know what i mean yeah then moved to

chicago any crazy door stories like that no well the owner was racist he's dead now paul lane uh and he was mad racist but I didn't know that he was racist. I grew up in a black neighborhood and I was just happy to get stage time. I'd have another black comic tell me, motherfucker's racist. I was like, oh yeah. I had such blinders on. And he never said anything to my face

because I'm a big dude, so I never caught it. I will say this. I don't know if this is funny but this is some ill shit so to go to the funny bone back then it was like $10 a ticket for a white comic but then whenever like D.L. Hughley would come to town

or Cedric D. Entertainer or whoever would come to town the tickets would be like $25 and they would up the drink prices so it's a blue it's a blue collar town so black people made the same amount of money if not less than the white people so the money cost more so they would tip less because they didn't it was like so then people like black people don't tip it's like well it's triple

to come here right the one night they can afford it and they work under you you know right so that was something that i didn't know that that existed that was interesting some shit might pop off i need security. Nothing ever happened. I mean, shit, you can call us nigger now and, you know, nothing will happen. We're the last person to do shit because we're afraid of that's evolution. So I remember seeing that

just going, wow, this is wild. And then they do the same at the improv out here. On Monday night, they used to up it and it would be like, if you go to Monday night, that's black night at the improv and then you leave and try to stand around there will be a cop with a gun telling you to move on and

white people don't have that experience you can just leave and hang out and talk about what a nice night you don't have an armed person going get to your car I just paid like my rent in that motherfucker can I just talk outside? So that was something that I never forgot.

I was like, well, it's the business, I guess. But yeah, I never forgot. Yeah, there really is no white equivalent of being shoot long from some experience. I don't know. Being outside of fucking an Ellen taping, maybe, just waiting too long or something. Say the wrong thing. Yeah. Ellen's people coming at you.

I don't know. Dancing at you. Yes. All right. Well, let's move along to our next comedian. Hands in the bucket. Here we go. Who's it going to be?

The name is Lil Bro. Lil Bro. Oh, shit. Yeah. Great song. Give it to him. Hey, I was thinking, like, what if the Boston Tea Party was actually a misunderstanding and it was a transsexual party that they had in Boston

and it just got misconstrued that night, like transsexuals are getting messed over. Like, you ever get, get like get ready to make love to a woman and get all the way butt naked except I like to leave my watch on just so as soon as I come I can say look at the time it's getting late

hey that's my time I just want to work on those little tags right there There we go 32 seconds worth of thunder I had something about some doing porn You're so broke You ever like need money And you look up in the newspaper

And you see like $5,000 to do porn And you be like what the fuck But you show up and you get butt naked And they send a white dude in the room butt naked and he got this tree trunk and they tell you to turn around and put your hands on the wall. And you like, fuck this.

You signed the papers, fuck this. I ain't being part of this shit. That was something I was working on too. Because it go deeper, man. Because I'm like, I see, I'm like $5,000 to do porn shit? Yeah, you know. Right.

And I just imagine, like, going, signing the paperwork, and then, like, you go ahead and get butt naked. And then the white dude come out with his tree trunk hitting his knee. And you trying to tell him, look, like, when a chick come here, you know, keep your hands to yourself. Stay on your side. Let me go. But, yeah, yeah, yeah, let me get it in, but, you know, they call him Trevor, and they call you

you, like, hey, you, put your hands up against the wall and spread your legs. They call him Trevor. That's not a good beginning to any porn, when they tell you your part is to put your hands up against the wall and spread your legs, like, nah, not with Trevor in the room.

Maybe that's when you look back at your watch for a look at the time. Look at the time. There you go. Yep. Double callback. Oh, yeah. Thank you, man. Fuck, yeah.

The only thing I really didn't. I love all that, by the way. I didn't get the Boston Tea Party. Maybe I missed something. Because, like, transsexuals, they'll use the letter T before anything. Like, you know, because I do a lot of online dating and shit. And you see, like, T-O-Saurus. You know, you think the bitch 19-ers.

So you click on that. T-O-Saurus. Yeah, it's a transsexual. So they use the letter T. So I'm thinking, you know, like they had a party in Boston because they call it the Boston Tea Party. But the T was short for transsexual. You got to say I do a lot of dating online. You got to say all that first and then that.

Yeah, they gave me a minute. At first I was thinking because of their outfits. And you took 32 seconds. Because I wanted to hit that and hit a couple more, too. Right. But, yeah, that Boston Tea Party definitely needs the setup if you do a lot of online dating. The tea is this. I love the tea-saurus.

That's funny. So you can even get a laugh while setting it up. And then, you know, I mean, I still don't know if there's much there because it's just tea. I don't know. I think the premise is better than the Boston Tea Party, if that makes sense. Like, I think you can go with that tea thing and take it even different directions. Like, you know, was tea Boz from TLC? I don't know.

You know, you can get weird with it. That's just the first tea I thought of, by the way, for those of you that are hating on my tea Boz joke right now. It's just an example, and it's still got some laughs. T-Boz joke right now. It's just an example and it's still got some laughs. What I'm curious about is that you're on a dating site that's, how are you seeing so many of these trainees pop up on your profile page?

Because that's what I want to say. Because he's available to some. If T-Saurus looks like a nine, he's getting the call. It's like these dudes think they're women, so they'll go in the women category. They don't say, like, you know, I put that on my profile, like, the requirements.

You have to be born a woman and have a steady pulse. So they don't have that. Right. Yeah. Is that how your bio starts? Oh, yeah. You got to be a woman. Bitch, I need to see baby pictures and everything.

What you're saying? You know, I'm like, you know, because they'll try to hide and do certain shit, you know. I'm like, no. So they don't list that they have their tranny in their profile. They'll put the T and they think that's enough. Like, that explains it. Like, oh, you didn't

get it? No, bitch, I thought your name was Tina. You know? This is funny. See, that's what I was saying when I think the premise is funnier than the Boston Tea Party. That what you just said about Tina. This is funny. That's what I was saying when I think the premise is funnier than the Boston Tea Party. That what you just said about Tina and the I need to see baby pics. Baby pictures, yeah.

When you're painting a funny picture of a different it's hilarious. The fact that you're online dating because you get trannies because some men really believe that they're women so and then at that point you're in like and by the time you are into it you know

baby pics the tina thing i mean that's hilarious yeah like listen to all the takes you just had on this whole issue that's why i asked that question i'm curious like how many have you had this conversation with any other comic friends because Cause look how much, I don't tell nobody, but I feel like that's a way. So like for you had the, you had the beginning thought of the whole like tranny bit. Like I feel like then, uh, I'd encourage to ask yourself questions like why you even thought of that

bit and then keep peeling back. Like all these things you just brought up based on that one question about why you, uh, seeing training on your dating site. And then all these things you just brought up, all of these opinions you just had about that. Now i feel like you're building the bit now based on asking all those questions i feel like it's something totally when you have that initial thought with

the online dating because that'll kind of set it up and then bring in the transsexuals but in trying to figure out why you're talking about it then ask you you know ask yourself those questions and then oh i know why i'm talking about it. How the fuck you going to call yourself a woman when you not? What the fuck? You've been tricked before, haven't you? Huh? Yeah, I feel like this is coming from that place.

Oh, no. Tina turned out to be Trevor. I've been tricked on clicking on a picture because I'm looking at it on my cell phone. You know what I'm saying? They just had a picture. Well, there's your problem. You need a desktop screen.

What's the picture? Like, what is the picture what I'm saying? They just had a picture. Well, there's your problem. You need a desktop screen. What's the picture? Like, what is the picture? It's just like a one little small picture. Like, you know, I don't have any. Of a butt cheek, but is it like a face? How are you not being able to tell? It's like faces or like body pictures, but some of it might be blurred.

You know what I'm saying? How blurred? I'm just saying it's on my cell phone. You see what I'm saying? Like, I'm'm just saying it's on my cell phone. You see what I'm saying? Like I'm using my cell phone. I'm not using the laptop. I've heard the word cell phone. So it's limited as far as what you can see. But it's for females.

But you can see the face. And based off that headshot, you can't tell. Which site is this? Is this a free dating site? Yeah, it's a free dating site. It's free as fuck. When T-A-Saurus is in the mix. No, I'm saying like

I've been to a lot of sites where especially like out here. You don't meet T-A-Saurus on Christian Mingle, you know what I'm saying? Hey, because they are, man. I'm telling you. They're everywhere and they're like, no. They're everywhere. Yeah, I'm telling you.

They're everywhere. I don't know about that you might want to check your settings one more time i've never had this problem ever no i'm talking about i see don't know yeah yeah yeah santa monica and highland yeah i'm just saying like you know since i've been out here i've never seen that shit like not like that houston you gotta say that too yeah yeah i'm like oh yeah i do a whole bit about that. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Because I'm like, you know, it's like I felt like I was in Little Red Riding Hood, you know, because I say I got tricked. I met a chick online. It's funny.

So that's why I moved out here. Oh, whoa. So you met and that was a man that you met? Yeah. It's a transsexual. No, that's a joke. Look, he. Oh, shit.

Well, see. Yeah. Well, I'm also going. We don't know. Yeah. We can't wait. Because I do the Matt Tate's getting like. Oh, shit. Well, see, yeah. Well, I'm also going to. We don't know what trail or what time. Yeah, we can't wait. No, because I do the Matt Tateo, like how he got food. You know what I'm saying?

Right. Like, so I got food and moving here because I met some chick online. And like when I saw her, you know, I went to go meet her and the bitch just had the door like a little bit open. And you know, I'm like. Only one eyeball sticking through like. No, no. The door was like open. I'm like bitch

i'm not coming in so she stick her feet out you know i'm saying the bitch got big feet i felt like a little red riding hood i'm like my what big feet you have hilarious see yeah dude yeah yeah yeah i do that and then uh yes yes um you know you got transvestites you got transsexuals which ones have had the sex change operation i don't know man i don't even keep up with it i know they all dudes that's all i care about it's another thing to add with it man this is all stuff to take i'm not into it i just know it happens like if you click on some shit because you know you're just clicking on just see a picture or whatever. Like, it could be a trick. Like, their back could be turned or it would be like a lot of people in a picture.

They get you with that, you know. Like, it's either like two or three women. You'd be like, well, which one is the bitch? You know. We don't know. We know. We're new at this. We still have our tranny wheels.

That's hilarious. So what's your requirement for the full – what do you need? Do you need a full photo, no friends around? Email. That's hilarious. So what's your requirement for the full? What do you need? Do you need a full photo? No friends around? Email. That's all. Let's throw out the account. More like she-mail, if you know what I'm saying.

Oh, that's it? All right. This is a fucking weird crowd. You know, when they have that sex change, they don't just whack it up. They turn that banana inside out and make a pouch. That's what they do with that. So they can feel, you know, have orgasm, you know, have good feelings.

Iron Patriot, would you ever have sex with a post-op trainer? No, no, I don't do that. I like nice, normal, cute women. I don't do the ladyboy. Even if he had good feet, like pretty feet, like if he had look, hold on, like you never seen a guy's feet look so good ever.

Hey, what does it mean when you teabag somebody? Because that could maybe be with a Boston party or something. What is that term? Is that a sexual term when you teabag somebody? What does that mean? How do you not know this, Patriot? Anybody in the audience want to feel this one? There you go, buddy.

There you go. You think you're bald where? It's the scientist from earlier. He said where? Maybe with the Boston Tea Party you could connect that somehow. A teabag. I don't think you need it at all, man. I think it's a whole different bit. That should come out if you

take all the things that just happened here. You came up here with a as soon as you grabbed that mic I felt like, oh shit, this guy's got something to say. I'm definitely curious. And then I heard a couple just really tiny pieces of something much bigger that I think you've either thought about or not thought about. It sounds like as soon as you started talking to us, you're like, no, I've thought about it. Well, then fucking say that.

Say the shit that you're thinking about. Anytime you're like, oh, this is what I mean, because I feel like what you came in with was something you just tried to sit down and and write but maybe have conversation with people about this shit because look how much naturally funny you just float out with all your takes on everything yeah like one thing a lot of we try to do don't cheat the bit like just say the whole thing like don't think we won't get it or won't understand it because we enjoy like all those pieces and you might not know where you could jump off. But if you open with Boston Tea Party right now, there's the whole political thing with Tea Party. I'm trying to follow a completely different path. Who you are specifically talking.

You're not even talking about that. You're talking about being tricked online. You're talking about being lied to. And it's a much better way. It's a much more relatable thing, too. You say Tea Party, I'm like, oh, fuck, I don't know much about that shit. Yeah, because it has much more relatable thing to you say tea party. I'm like, oh fuck Yeah, cuz it has so many different meanings now, yeah, and you've been tricked so many times, you know the tea thing Heck yeah, there you go little bro everybody

He's at little Bro on Twitter. L-I-O-B-R-O-U-G-H. Fuck yeah. That's fun. Oh, and Manti Teo's defense, because I went to Notre Dame. It is easy to have an imaginational, whatever the fuck the word is, girlfriend. Imaginary girlfriend at Notre Dame. The pickings are slim.

It's better now, but I can see how we do that. A lot of dudes go there, right? I'd rather have an imaginary girlfriend than be fucked in the shower. Like Penn State. That would be a good I don't know,

a Jeopardy question? No, not a Jeopardy. What game show would offer up those options? For what? I guess like Let's Make a Deal. For? Have an imaginary girlfriend or what was it? Or raped in the shower. Yeah, I guess probably.

Oh, yeah, Let's Make a Deal. What's behind wall number two? There you go. It's a shower. Pull down your pants. All right. Your next comedian, everybody. Eric Svedes. Hey! Oh, here he comes. Alright, your next comedian, everybody. Eric

Svedas. Hey! Oh, here he comes. Oh, hey, everybody. It's Eric Svedas, but if my name was any more butchered, it would probably be a Syrian infant. It's understandable.

Yeah, I know, it's too dark. You guys, I really don't like getting charged for goods and services that I didn't initially, you know, agree to. And I found out recently that I've been paying both AT&T and the U.S. government to spy on me. One of those services has got to go. I can't be paying double for a privacy invasion. Is it just me, or does it seem like we're, like, as a whole, we're uh this is terrible stay in there stay in there we uh you know i've got more jokes about apathy but i don't know if you guys would give a fuck honestly thank you there it is all right here we go all right all right here we go. All right. All right, here we go. Fuck yeah. All right.

Well, I mean, just right off the bat, I mean, do you give a fuck about those jokes that you just said? Do we give a fuck? Like, I don't know if we'll give a fuck about them. Oh, that is a joke because that's the definition of apathy, is not giving a fuck. Oh, okay, yeah. Usually that one gets a good laugh when I do it right.

Nice. Yeah. What did we miss on this last go around? What went wrong? I think my brain is upset. Why is your brain upset? I don't know. It's getting back at me.

Or something I did to it, maybe. I don't know. Creep it up on me here at the comedy store. I love it, man. How long have you been doing stand-up? Since 2009. Okay. What do you consider your thing to talk about?

What interests you? When you grab that mic, what do you feel like you want to say? I like talking about social issues. Right. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Or things that I feel like matter.

Is there a lot more behind that Butchered Syrian Child fucking opener that you... Yeah, that came off naturally. I like... That one just changes over time. Depending on who we're smashing the heads. Yeah, whoever's getting butchered. And you know everybody's going to say your name

pretty much not completely correctly. Yeah, I had two sets tonight. I think maybe that was what fucked me up. One based on if you didn't get my name right, and one if you got it right. And then I think too many options for me this evening. All in just a minute, you were going to pack that in. Yeah, I was going to try to fucking pack it in there.

Oh, wow. Jesus. All right. So where did you start stand-up at? In San Francisco. San Fran. How long have you been in L.A.? About a year and a half.

Nice. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Your AT&T joke was good because it's true. Uh-huh. But it also made me go not enjoy the joke so much because I was kind of bummed out about it. You know what I mean? Because I was like, oh, man, he's right.

They both, what? I don't know. You should find something more zany to put in there just so you don't bum. Because, I mean, it's funny. The idea is very funny. I feel like I lost my boner over there. You come out strong.

You know, it's surprising that people will laugh at uh how horrible the world is you know right well but that didn't happen tonight how much material would you say since you started in 2009 like if you had to do all of your material that you had how long would you say that would come out to i i think I have like a good, like a real good maybe eight minutes. Nice. But maybe only six and a half or seven. Oh, okay.

I see. When you looked at your paper in the very beginning, what were you looking for? Is that a part of your persona or did you really go blank and you wanted to see? No, I think this is the problem

for this evening. I had two. Sometimes I use it to remind me. Did it help you tonight? No, it fucked me up. Totally. I sensed that. I think if I would have just gone with what was on my head, on top of my mind. When you usually go on stage

for longer than a minute, do you stay in the pocket, as they say, with your material? Or if something doesn't go your way, do you feel like you naturally just kind of give up on it? Or do you try to just fight through it? I stay in the moment, you know? Yeah. So why wouldn't you do that with even just a minute? I don't know.

Yeah. Think about that. Okay. We'll see. I don't know. I mean, I feel like It's obviously It's tough to get Your point of view

And a lot of funny Into just a minute Of stand up But you know I think I did that When I said This was terrible That's what I

That was my shining moment Of recognizing the moment Of being in the moment Yeah Is when I said You know this This fucking sucks Yeah

So maybe take some of that In the moment And just you know Carry it all the way through. Because obviously you never get a fair chance for yourself to get engaged on your material or getting better. And also we don't get a chance to get engaged for you if you're just not fully giving it a shot. You deliver pizzas? No.

You look like you do and you should definitely talk about that. Oh, really? Yeah. Either that or you look like you got your wardrobe from the set of a pizza delivery. Hey, pizza, bye. Yeah, I don't know. Or maybe you don't do that, but yeah. Maybe not the accent so much.

Not so much the guy who's making the pizza as much as the guy in the hatchback that has to get it to a place. Is this your normal look? It's a hatchback that has to get it to a place. Is this your normal look? If you were an action figure with punchlines about killing children, if you pulled the string, that would be... But this would be your attire? Is this a normal getup for you? Always the hat?

I wear a hat sometimes. Because I dig it. Yeah. Sometimes? Take the hat off. What is it? Oh, wow. It's Matty Edgar.

Who's that? What's that British show? Oh, Doctor Who. Right? No? Edgar. Who's that? What's that British show? Oh, Doctor Who. Right? No? Who? You watch Doctor Who. No, I don't.

But I just think he looks like the DVD box set that Amazon's always recommending to me for some reason. When you found out you're paying AT&T and the government money to spy on you, what did you do about it? Well, I talked to an AT&T representative about it. Yeah, what did they say? They didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. They told me to go talk to the government. They gave me the number

of the FCC. And did you call them yet? No, I didn't call the FCC yet. That's where the joke is. You said, he made a good point. A lot of times people say stuff that's just correct. It was a fact that shows that you're smart and you're very observant. But when you say something that's correct in front of a group of people who don't know you, they just go, that's correct. So they may not laugh.

And I see a lot of young comedians, like, expecting for the laugh. But you just said two plus two is four. And they go, yep. So what did you do? Where it becomes unique. And you don't need to rebel rouse and be like, are you all with me, Matt? Just tell the story. What did you do next?

In Brian's instance, it made him angry. You did two plus two equals four, but then I was like, god damn that four. Right. But even people that are hearing that and getting angry about it, then take them on, like, that's what I'm saying. You did a two plus two equals four, but then I was like, god damn that four. Right. Yeah. It's a disappointing four. But even people that are hearing that and getting angry about it, then take them on, like, what did you do about it to make them...

Right. Because obviously you're making them feel something emotionally connected to what you're talking about, which is great. So now they're with you. And so now it's like where you make it a unique bit to you is where you follow up on whatever your actions are after that. Maybe there's even something in like, do you even really need to call and complain? Because if they're really

listening, they should know you're already upset about it. You should just tell them to call you. You could just sit there on hold and give them, when they put you on hold, you just start spouting off every complaint you have because if they're listening, then they'll hear it. If that makes sense. I mean, it's sort of another two plus two equals

four, but you could get silly with it. Yeah, exactly. Using the idea that they're already listening and already watching. You can go to these weird paths of crazy shit. I love that it says there's always three lines here on the sign-up sheet. The name, their Twitter, and the topic. Eric Svedez, Eric Svedez, your topic was burgers. Yeah.

You didn't mention burgers at all. No, that's not worked out yet. Do you flip burgers? No, I don't flip burgers. Do you eat them? Not lately. What's the social commentary on burgers? I feel like burgers are pretty American.

Hell yeah, they are. That's another correct statement, yeah. Yeah, they're definitely German. Germans like burgers what hamburg yeah yeah cracked him up so uh yeah like i don't really have any good i i want i want good burger material i'm working on it. I'm fucking daily. I sit down for hours and I write and I'm like hoping for, you know, to have the, you know,

to connect with true creativity and get the cheeseburger bit. Yeah. Maybe you could do something on veggie burgers. I like those a lot. There you go. I like green beans and rice. See, I found it. It's very specific.

I just found it very funny that you got really fired up there, the most fired up you've been since you've been up here, about wanting a good burger bit. Like what the fuck? What is that about? You haven't had burgers in a while. It seems like that's something that you have felt more emotion about than the actual even social commentary on the stuff of the spying on you and stuff like that. It seems like you really are passionate about burgers. If you're going to talk about Syrian kids getting butchered, I feel like, because you're getting a reaction, but

then it's like, now I want to hear what you have to say after that. Unless that's just your thing. I just want to talk about things that are important to me and them. I have to bridge the gap with a burger, I'll do that. So what would you say if you were going to bridge the gap with a burger?

I'm digging myself into a big hole here. I'm telling you, I sit there for hours I'm waiting to get the burger bit and I don't have... But when you're sitting there for hours, what are you thinking about burgers that's frustrating you so much? I'm just thinking about fucking Americans just eating burgers

and being like, oh, Syria. Oh, Syria? Yeah. I mean, that's what I eat when I eat a fucking burger. I think about little children that are starving when I eat a burger. Fuck yeah.

What do you think they think about when you're eating that burger? What do little kids starving in Africa think about me eating a burger? First of burger? What do little kids starving in Africa think about me eating a burger? First of all, it's little kids starving in L.A. Everybody knows that. It's over 40 countries, man. Little kids starving down the street, bro. Have you ever been to Africa?

Where are you from? I'm from Central Coast of California. Stay there, man. Talk about burgers there. You ain't got to bring starving African kids. I've never seen an American with a bloated belly. Yes, you have. Just go to Walmart.

Go to fucking... Unbelievable. Just go 20 miles outside of LA. They're everywhere, bub. It's hilarious. Obese motherfuckers. Oh, no, no. I mean from starvation. Oh, that happens too. It's just obese motherfuckers. Oh, no, no. I mean from starvation.

Oh, that happens too. It's in America. Yeah. Just Google it. I mean, I've been to an Indian reservation. It's pretty sad there. Should talk about that, huh? Eric, I like your style. There you go. Eric Svedas. That's Eric Svedas on Twitter. S-V-E-D-A-S.

Fuck yeah, man. He's got an interesting perspective on things. All right, your next comedian is Joseph P. Larkin. I want to rock right now. I'm robbing some of the things to get down. I'm not going to actually know. But I'm known to rock a white car. All right.

All right, hey, guys. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Joseph Larkin from Sleight of Louisiana. I'd like to start off with an impression. This is my impression of stand-up comedian and best-selling author Jerry Seinfeld suffering from throat cancer. What is the deal with hospital food? I try to get better here, not sicker. All right, this is a $100 prop, you stingy fucks.

I need to get my money's worth. So this is my impression of the theme from Jaws, also suffering from throat cancer. Yay! Alright, that's it. That's all you get. That's awesome. I fucking love it, man. That's hilarious. Thank you.

That's a solid 54 seconds. Sure. Sure. Is your robot autistic? No. Like, what's going on in there? He has throat cancer. Oh. But that that's a scary tool.

It really is. I hate that tool. I remember being a professional wrestling fan when I was younger. And there was a part where the Undertaker's brother came out of nowhere, made an appearance for the first time. His name was Kane. And it was like a huge deal when I was a kid in wrestling. The Undertaker had a younger brother that was the same height as him.

He had gotten caught in this house fire. There's a whole storyline. I mean, we were all on the edge of our seats. Anyway, Kane, after months of just crushing people, it was a big Monday Night Raw. Tonight, Kane speaks his first words. And he came out, and he had a microphone, and he pulled out of his spandex basically one of those and just basically said, like, Undertaker, I'm going to kill you. And I remember being a kid and seeing that and being like,

what the fuck is that thing? So then I went to my mom goofing around like later that night or the next day or something. I'm like, hey, Mom, what are you doing? And she's like, don't ever do that because she has this terrible fear of she was once on an elevator with some creepy guy who pulled one of those out and was like hey little girl or something like that so yeah when i see those things that's a long way to that story which is just that but um that is considered like a very scary tool is there anything else you can do with it or is that what you got on it so far?

You can use it as a vibrator, I guess. I don't know. Oh, wow. There you go. Do you use it as a vibrator? I don't kiss and tell, my friend. There you go. Fuck yeah.

Was Jerry Seinfeld your first impression when you first bought that and you were like, this is going to fucking maybe work. Actually, it was originally Larry the Cable Guy and he said, gotta get right with God. No one really got that one, so I had to dumb it down. Imagine dumbing it down from Larry the Cable Guy. Wow.

Good figure. Anyway. Where are you from? I'm from Slidell, Louisiana Outside of New Orleans Yeah, when you said that originally You said it so smooth and quickly I didn't get it, it was like a blur You know what I mean?

You've said that a few times Where are you from? Slidell, Louisiana See how that's almost all one word? Do you know people with those Little machines there? No. Have you had somebody come up to you after the show and go,

my so-and-so died from this? Oh, no. I've had people, while I'm doing it, say, that's not funny, my uncle just died of cancer. To which I respond, well, of course, because when I wrote this joke four years ago, I thought one day I'll be doing a shitty fucking pizza parlor in East L.A. and I'll get you, you fuck.

Oh, wow. That was a very specific show that that happened at. Yeah, sorry. Have you ever gotten heckled by a person with one of those and just had a battle off? Why are you heckling me? Jerry Seinfeld wouldn't say that. That is interesting.

So was it really four years ago that you wrote that you got the prop? Yeah. Yeah. I have to say, just because it cost $100, it has stayed in my act. Right. It will stay in my act forever. Nice. Wow.

So is that what's keeping you from actually doing, like, not using it just because you bought it? No, I mean, you know. Well, yeah. I mean, that's probably why I still wear this vest, so I kind of side with you. That's what happened with Gallagher. He just bought a sledgehammer one day and he's like, fuck. I gotta put this thing to use.

What's something cheap and explosive that I could buy? Oh, a watermelon. Have you always used that in your act? Yeah, actually this is like one of the first jokes I wrote when I started. I bought the thing off of eBay to do this joke. What was that day like?

What's that? $100, man. Look how shabbily dressed I am. I don't have $100. What happened leading up to that day where you were like, fuck, I gotta make, I gotta change it up. I gotta stand out. When did you decide that your comedy voice was going to be through a voice box?

Was eBay already up in your browser staring at you in the face? I don't know. You were like, I need a fucking dildo. Wait a minute. That thing, I can shove it on my neck and get some comedy out of it. Kill two birds with one stone. Yeah. What was the thought process?

I'm asking to pick that up. I really wish I knew, man. I don't know. It was a bolt from the blue. Yep.'m asking to pick that up. I really wish I knew, man. I don't know. It was a bolt from the blue. Yep. Don't know what that means, but... Divine intervention. There you go.

There you go. Yeah, I mean, if you're going to do it, I say fucking extend it. I want to see an hour next time of all with the boy spots. I don't want that to be a close-up or an open-up. You should just come up and immediately talk about it. Maybe you're the guy with that. Why don't you be the guy and say the impression? Absolutely.

That's brilliant. If you start with it and never mention it, and then all of a sudden, and after everything is – and then you go throat cancer joke. Every impression is throat cancer. And then you can just do an impression of anybody. Just say, this is my impression of my neighbor. And they're going to be waiting for throat cancer. And then you just take it away.

And kill the impression. And just crush. And do an amazing impression that actually sounds like the person. You get a standing O. That's how that shit happens. I think we just figured out your career for you. Hell yeah. I think Andy Kaufman figured that out, though.

He did something like that, but he didn't have a voice box. Right. Well, I mean. This is like 21st century Andy Kaufman. I wouldn't go that far. Oh, OK. Right. It's definitely not. I wouldn't out, though. He did something like that, but he didn't have a voice box. Right. Well, I mean. This is like 21st century Andy Kaufman. I wouldn't go that far. Oh, okay. Right. It's definitely not.

I wouldn't go that far. Other than the lung cancer part. That's it. Only. Tony's quick. I just don't get it. Anyway. Yeah.

I heard about somebody one time that was so addicted to smoking, even when they put that hole in their throat, they're still putting the cigarette up to that hole to smoke. There you go. That's tragic. He used a cigarette in the act or something. They showed me that shit in high school, one of those films with a hole in the throat.

That's scary. It is scary. It used to be a stoner. I would smoke cigarettes. But this time around when I'm a stoner, I'm not smoking cigarettes. I'm glad about that. Is this your real Twitter handle, Joseph? At white male.

That's actually you? You're the white male? I got it. I got it, guys. Wow. That is unbelievable. When did you get on Twitter? 2008, maybe.

Wow. Had to be early on. Yeah, that's, what, like a year after it came out or something? Yeah. Right around there. I mean, you had to, to be the white male. What made you pick that? Well, I don't know.

I thought it would be an amusing commentary on the blandness of me. I am a white male. That's it. What heritage are you, like, where are your people from? male. That's it. What heritage are you? Where are your people from? My mother's family is Polish and my father's family

is Irish. So we're so stupid we don't remember to drink all the time. Don't ever do that again. That might have been a good time to put the voice box up. Do those jokes through the box. It's interesting to me that you keep labeling yourself as like you wanted to do something innovative, and you just called yourself bland when you were naming white male.

Like, I don't know. Maybe there's just a lot of material in that, too, that you think that you're – but what is it about you that makes you think that you're so plain and bland? Oh, shit, man. Look at me. I don't know. That's a good way to... I'd say 90% of my act is just me

talking about how much I hate myself, also women, and minorities. What about women? Oh, Jesus. Alright. See, now we're getting somewhere. Don't get me started on those gays. Don't get you started on what? Nothing. No. No, no, no.

By the way, please do that in your idea Look white comics If you're going to talk about how you hate black people Please do it in front of black people Don't do that shit In front of safe white kids And then you'll see if it's really funny That's all you got to do

Because you're generalizing And so everybody is different So do it but for real be brave But do it in front of a black club If you're generalizing, and so everybody is different. So do it. But for real, be brave, but do it in front of a black club. If you're doing cancer jokes, you feel this. Do it, and then see what happens. You might strike on to something. But I'm curious. Should we get into this?

Yeah, what do you hate about black people? Yeah, what do you hate about black people? I don't actually hate black people. Right. What about women? You listed that as one of the options. I don't actually hate black people. What about women? I definitely hate women now. You were honest about the women part. You definitely hate women is the words

that you just said. And then you said, and also minorities less than a second later. But that's not true at all. Because you forgot Owen was sitting right next to you. New Twitter handle, at Wishwashy. Yeah.

At Slip Flopper. At Single White Male. I wonder if that thing will work if, all right, White Male. Joseph P. Larkin, there he goes, everybody. Thank you, guys. I want to see an hour through the voice box next time. I had a feeling when I saw at White Male, I'm like, he's got to be a little racist. I went to school with a guy.

I went to school with a guy last name Larkin, and he was an interesting cat. I wonder if you guys are related. Probably his older brother or something. He was from the south. I don't know where, though. Do you have an older brother, Joseph? I do. There you go.

Man, good luck, brother. Why did he call me artistic oh look at my little defensive baby over there a lot can penetrate that thick layer of armor he has on why did he call me I think he said artistic and you are very artistic

that's ok his hand just twitched when he said that oh wow he just did it again. We noticed a few weeks ago that he has a left arm twitch when he gets excited about something. Oh, wow. I got a new secret. I put my hand here.

I can see that. You're not allowed to do that, though. I don't want you doing that. That's enough. You only get one day. Tomorrow belongs to me. I got an idea. Is that your catchphrase?

Yeah. What can I say? I had to save the best for last. Tonight I will kill the amazing Spider-Man. Oh, I like that one. Oh. You know those things as a kid that you pull the string and it has like a cow

or a horse? We should get one of those and tape it to the side of him and then tie the string to his arm so every time he twitches, it makes an animal sound. Right. I don't like you doing it. I like the natural twitch more and so does everybody else.

I told you, I got rid of that before the podcast festival. I can't be looking like that. No, man, I'm telling you. When I was in Phoenix and Columbus, I had a lot of people come up to me and specifically even mention your arm twitching as being one of their new...

Of course they like it. Oh, damn. You're the mention your arm twitching as being one of their new... Of course they like it. Oh, damn. You're not getting any ladies either way, Patriot. Come on. 2004, bro. Never forget. Never forget.

Alright. Let's get another comedian up here. This is so much fun. So glad you guys were able to do this with me tonight. Coming down the straightaway. Put your hands together for Keith Soul. Yeah, Keith. Keith Soul.

Yeah. Oh, he's not here, and you know what that means. He gets blacklisted. Boom. He'll never be able to do the show again. And that is how it works. Wow. And sorry, Keith, but you're done.

I was pretty surprised because we were just about to make it through with no blacklisting. What if he was bidding for one of those voice box things on eBay and he had to take care of that tonight? What if they have a legit reason and they don't show up? There is no legitimate reason. Fair enough. You sign up, you be a professional. Fair enough. All right. Put your hands together for Kenny Lyon.

Kenny Lyon! Kenny! Kenny! Yeah! What's up? I watched the BBC radio interview of Kanye West. And I found out that I am brainwashed. I am brainwashed to think negative thoughts, bullshit thoughts, thoughts like, my life sucks. I can't find a job. You know, I try to switch it up by remembering shit is going down in Syria, everybody.

They life suck. They can't work because they're dead. But I learned something real interesting in the Syria situation. Russians got real interesting last names. For example, the president, his last name is Putin. I wish my last name was Putin. Be like, Kenny putting it down. Okay, that's your minute.

Fuck yeah. You had a little technical difficulties there. You got some extra time in. It was just enough to get the Kenny putting it down. I don't know what just happened. It's funny, though. Yeah, definitely. It's a fun adventure to get to because they're dead. Yeah, that's just funny. It's funny.

You do normal sets a lot, don't you? Like five, ten-minute sets? I would love to see that sometime. Yeah, you do. And you hit normal sets a lot, don't you? Like five, ten minute sets? I would love to see that sometime. And you hit the circuit a lot, right? I always see you around. You've been on the show a lot, right? Yeah. So how's that going for you?

Having fun? As a matter of fact, Jam went from being homeless to living across the street, everybody. Yeah. That's a little... uh, fuck yeah. That's great, man. Wait, Jem?

Yeah. You're talking about some other guy? No, Jem, yeah. Right. Yeah. So, what? Are you dating him? That was you.

You were homeless. Well, I crash at wherever he stays. You know, he's cool. He took me under his wing with a hernia. He had a hernia or you had a hernia? I'm lost. Somebody had a hernia and was homeless

and you're hanging out with him. He's got a place so now you've got a home. You're underneath him at his home. How's his hernia? Luckily, he got it surgically removed at the USC hospital.

Everything's great. I had to rake up the lawn today, so that's why I didn't get to come for the open mic. Is it a house or an apartment? Yeah, it's like a house. He's got a house? Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

He went from nothing to something. Are you sure you guys aren't squatting's got a house? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like he went from nothing to something. Are you sure you guys aren't squatting at some empty house? Raking the lawn at a house? From homeless to house? How quick was his transition from homeless to house? Real quick. It just went from

like two months. Two months? Right? That's what I'm saying. I know that's what you're saying. You just said it. But what happened in between that time uh he was uh basically taking care of other comedians crib like while they were going out of state and he was taking care of the dogs well technically i was taking care of the dogs because his hernia doesn't allow him to sure so people saw a guy sitting on the street asking for change, possibly chewing on some fucking shoes. And they said, hey, man, you want to watch my pets for me while I go on the road?

He has an iPhone so he could post shit on Facebook. Oh, wow. He's not homeless. That's like time machine shit right there. It's got an iPhone. OK. All right, Kenny, we're done with you. Good job, man.

At Kenneth Lyon on Twitter. Kenneth Lyon, just like the animal, talking about We're done with you. Good job, man. At Kenneth Lyon on Twitter. Kenneth Lyon, just like the animal, talking about Russian press. This is his topic. You have a question? No, I had other questions, but I could ask a ton of questions. Yeah, we're getting towards that end of the show. We're ready for our final segment. Thanks to all the comedians who signed up.

And I apologize if you did not get up. Keep signing up. We'll see you next week. We'll always have more fun guests. Now, for the regular part of the show, we always have two women who have been being built in this room every 60 seconds for 18 weeks in a row. Wow. One right now is in Florida. She let us know that she was going to be away.

She still wrote a new minute. She sent it in to us. But between some technical difficulties and another previous plan. We're not going to get to her material tonight. So instead, we're going to just go with the woman that has been with us since episode one. She was the only female on the show then, and she's still with us.

Episode 18. Put your hands together for Sarah Mostajabi, everybody, with a new 60 seconds. for Sarah Mostajabi, everybody, with a new 60 Seconds. What's up, guys? Hey. Hi.

So I'm bisexual. Not nearly as supportive as my parents. Or as the guys I like to date call it yes i don't really understand that reaction i think there's gonna be a lot of threesomes in there uh but i think we all know when you like a girl the last thing you want to see is some dude fucking her so i don't think so i guess being disappointed by like one gender wasn't enough for me i want to like double my money so it's great. I actually actually to be honest with you guys, I had a show last night and

so I haven't really focused on this very much. That's all I have. Yeah. Sorry, I was thinking so fucking awkwardly. You could have just said that's all you have, but you also mentioned that you had a show last night that was more important to you than our show. But I'll tell you, you know. I had to do eight minutes there. Wow. I had to really focus on it. But I'll tell you. I had to do eight minutes there.

So I had to really focus on it. Hell yeah, you did. But luckily, thanks to this, I have almost 20 minutes. Not really. I think I have a good 13 minutes because of you guys. Holy shit. That's exciting. Hey, I like that 40 seconds

a lot. And I would say that that's probably my favorite of everything. And it's so much fun to see growth. Like you made that, you stayed in one topic. And I mean, it's an interesting take because it's pretty true, right? It's unfortunately true. Yeah. Right.

The bisexual stuff. And I like how you played off of their response and you, the way that you did that. I mean, for 18 weeks or whatever you're at. I mean, that's pretty cool that you're just naturally playing around and just feeding off of that. And since you've been, you know, sort of just doing this as a regular thing where it seemed, it at least appears that it's mostly about material, even though it's not. And the fact that you can bounce off of some people, obviously somebody back there, and that happens in real shows. You know what I mean?

No matter where you go, there's almost always some comedian in the back of the room that's ready to try to be funny off of something like, yeah, she's a bisexual, yeah. You know what I mean? So you can almost count on that.

Yeah. You know what's really funny, and I think I learned this from something you had said to someone else, is just to kind of have those things prepared depending on people's reactions. Like if you get like a positive, if you're expecting the possibility of a positive or negative reaction, having something to come back on that naturally already in your head, so you're kind of prepared for that.

And I know, even though I have been like super preparing for the other show, I have been, You guys, hello. What's wrong? What are you doing? What are you doing? You were in a thought? I'm curious, why would you not prepare as much for this one minute as you would for the other show last week?

That's why that was a bit short. I had prepared that for this week. I've been doing that this whole past week. But I really needed to... I do between six to ten open mics a week. I've been doing that this whole past week. I do between six to ten open mics a week. This past week, I've just kind of been running through the stuff that I've

done. Because I'm constantly in a cycle of preparing for this. So I don't really get to perfect and chisel the stuff that I already have. It's a constant work in progress. I mean it's never going to be perfect. Yeah I know. Yeah I actually like

the first really good set that I did here was about E3 because I'm like a gamer. Yeah. And that whole set now has just become great because I mean it started here like Tony and Sarah Tiana like kind of helped me with the tag.

And a lot of people tweeted me or other comics gave me ideas. And that's just evolved into something that's really, it's almost like four, four and a half, five minutes on just that one thing. And it came from doing this, you know? Maybe there's something funny in that since you're trying to attract both boys and girls, like maybe there's almost a joke about your haircut. Yeah, I was thinking that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I couldn't word it quite right. I don't know. This side is kind of like a lesbian. Right. And this side is kind of like, oh my God. And the front's sort of like a boy. So you have like two lesbians and a boy.

I've got the Justin Bieber swoop for the guys and the girls right in the middle. And your pussy smells like balls. Wow, there you go. Wow, there you go. Yeah, there you go. Classic Brian Red Band play right there. Red Band poker.

Just when you think Red Band's just playing it cool. He's got a gun filled with bullets in the chamber. And those bullets go by the name of Ball's Asshole Vagina Penis. Fuck yeah. That's Sarah Mostajabi. Another great week of work. We're so happy. She's working hard.

Shout out to her at Sarah Dresses on Twitter. And as always, at Kimberly Congdon, who will be with us back before Friday's appearance at the L.A. Podfest, following WTF with Marc Maron and Dana Gold's podcast. That's Friday night. We're going to be talking with some comedians tonight. If any young comics are still in the room, we're going to be

finishing up our booking of that this evening right now after this. If you're interested, come check in with us. Our roster is just about full, but we might try to figure something out. Guys, what's going on? What do you want to promote? Adam Ray Comedy on Twitter? Yeah, Adam Ray Comedy on Twitter. My podcast

with Brad Williams, the midget dick, which we open with tonight. We do a podcast called About Last Night, and you can find About Last Night at podcast.com. All my tour dates on my site, adamraytv.com, and there you go. I love it. Owen? I'm at OwenSmith4Real

on Twitter. It's the number four reel on Twitter. I'm going to be at Zany's in Chicago, downtown Zany's, this Thursday through Saturday doing six shows. What else? Oh, my YouTube channel. I put my

hour special up that I shot in 2007. So everybody go watch it and like it and subscribe to the channel. It's Owen Smith TV. So check me out for an hour. You guys are so fucking funny. Thank you so much for doing this tonight. Iron Patriot, as always.

He's at Comic Patriot on Twitter. Tony Hinchcliffe. And me and Tony will be at a... We're announcing that we're having a Halloween show in San Diego at the American Comedy Co. Go to AmericanComedyCo.com or DeathSquad.tv for all our tour dates. Thank you so much.

See you next week. Go girl, yeah you're for me Punk rock girl