KILL TONY - KILL TONY #284 (FT WAYNE)

Episode Date: August 12, 2018

Andy Kindler, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins - Date: 08/04/2018 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly hey this is red band and you're listening to kill tony go to our website death squad.tv there you have all the past episodes all the video portions to all the episodes and you could also click on tour dates not only only do we do Kill Tony every Monday at the world-famous comedy store, but we're on the road. We are going to be in Lansing, Michigan, Grand Rapids, Michigan, and Detroit, Michigan. We're also going to be in Toronto for Just for Laughs. So go to DeathSquad.tv and click on tour dates for all the newest tour dates. If you want to go see Tony or any of his other shows,

go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. That's his website. And you get everything Golden Pony there. So TonyHinchcliffe.com. And don't forget Ryan J. Ebelt. He's the house artist. He draws every episode. Go to his website to buy the posters or the Kill Tony book.

RyanJEbelt.com. And last but not least, ShopSquad.tv There you have the Kill Tony t-shirt You also have Death Squad merchandise Like hats and mugs Go to ShopSquad.tv And now here's a brand new episode Of Kill Tony

Hey this is Red Band coming to you live from Fort Wayne, Indiana for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Henscliff. What's up, Fort Wayne, Indiana? Boy, this is exciting. I love this place. We've only been here a couple hours, and I can already tell you,

it's fucking an amazing place. This is like the movie Get Out. If there wasn't any black people in the entire movie. It's pretty impressive. You guys are fully committed. Brian Redband's here, everybody. Welcome to Fort White, Indiana. Yeah, it's crazy out

here. People drove hours and hours from different places here tonight. Make some noise if you had a long drive tonight. How many people from Fort Wayne? This is pretty exciting. I met a few of them outside. A few hours, few hours, few hours drive. It's pretty crazy.

But it's good to be here at Let's Fest from the Tiger Room. Good luck finding it. No signs necessary. Just an address outside like it's a fucking haunted hotel or something like that. But we all made it through the

bar and burger shop to the actual comedy festival in the back. Pretty excited about it. I truly thought we were at the wrong place when we first got here. Oh, yeah, so did I. But back here, it's a fucking party. You guys feel it or what? This is chaos in here, Brian.

You know, it's good to be here. Let's just get into it, shall we? Can I bring up our guest? I'm so excited. On these road ones we normally uh don't have the chance to have a guest but on this show you guys are extremely extremely lucky because here at the festival is one of our favorite comedians in the world truly one of the best we've never even gotten to have them on this show before so you guys are in for a super special

treat because this is a special one for red band and. Make some noise for one of the all-time comedy greats, one of my favorites, one of my good friends, Andy Kindler, everybody! Hey! Be careful over here. There's a lot of stage. I don't know why they did it like this. Andy, be careful. Lawsuit Central, you know what I'm talking about? I'm going off that stage. No, you're good. You're in good shape. Deep pockets.

Deep pockets Chopra. Oh, I don't have any writing. I can have writing things. Yeah, we are going to have so much fun. I'm pumped to have you on. Thanks for having me. Of course. We're in Fort Wayne, Indiana, it's gonna be a lot of fun

Pinch me I'm sorry No more Fort Wayne jokes I'm very sensitive It seems like this crowd's a little beat up You know what I mean? I feel like this crowd's filled with Ex-wives of Ohio State assistant coaches right now

I mean, it's incredible Just sweaty The crowd's filled with ex-wives of Ohio State assistant coaches right now. I mean, it's incredible. Just sweaty and... Is everybody on Molly, whatever that is? I'm so excited about tonight's show. We're going to have so much fun. We have a band on this show, ladies and gentlemen. You know... You know, with a show like this

in a small town like Fort Wayne, unfortunately, you know, we couldn't bring the whole band from Los Angeles with us. Yeah, we could not, we could not possibly afford Chroma Chris. Yeah, I mean, he could actually be

here right now. He could be under this table. He doesn't say a word, so. But, you know, it's tough to get them out on the road, but I think we pulled out a little Fort Wayne miracle for you guys here tonight. Every single week, they commit to different characters. We never know what they're going to do. They've been hiding out after getting dressed

for the last few minutes. They commit to these characters throughout the show, and they do jokes through those characters. It's fucking crazy every time. Two of the funniest human beings on the fucking planet. Make some noise for your Kill Tony band, Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Jimenez. Yeah. Here we go. Oh, they are coming from the back. All right. Look at this. Oh, my God. Oh, holy moly.

Oh, my God. I can't believe it. I know what they are. They're fat babies. Cancel my swim class. Are you guys basketball hoops? You're angels. We're angels, Tony.

Oh, wow. Look at that. I love this Angels Wow Wow What a heavenly crowd Everybody loves random dirty feathers in the air It's nice

One of the gifts that just keeps on giving When everyone's sweating hot in a rock club I will pray for your negative energy And then we have Joelberg back here Who looks like his name could actually be Angel. It's pretty exciting. You guys gotta wait

until he says something funny, assholes. Everybody's jumping the gun lately. Anyway, I said he looks like his name could be Angel for those of you that missed it. That's a Mexican name, right? Angel Salazar? I have a few cousins. Alright. Name that. You guys really pulled

out one or two stops on those costumes. I mean, it's unbelievable. It was one. It was one stop. The 99 cent store. 15, 20 bucks for both costumes, right? I'm sorry, people. You guys are goddamn angels. You guys ready to start this puppy? I am.

Now, Andy, here's the craziest part, is this isn't even the whole show. I have a bucket filled with comedians' names, and it's filled with names. It's fucking crazy. I mean, not filled filled, but you know what I mean. Not to the top. Obviously, you guys could tell that physically.

In the 80s, that used to be a business card bowl. And we'd say, put the business card in the bowl. You people don't remember print. Oh, shit. If I pull your name out of the bucket, you get 60 seconds on stage. That's how it works. You know your 60 seconds is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. Oh, is that a bear cat?

Wow. And wrap it up there. Earl's sure going to bring out the angry Fort Wayne bear. Wow. Good God. That sounds real. That sounded real that time. That's scary stuff.

That bear sounds furious. And then after your 60 seconds, we talk to you. We find out a little bit more about you. Just be honest through the questioning process. Everything's going to be fine. And then after your 60 seconds, we talk to you. We find out a little bit more about you. Just be honest through the questioning process. Everything's going to be fine. You guys ready to start this bad boy or what? It is the first ever Kill Tony in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

I want to jump right into it. Because I want to meet some of these people. How many of you want to see a comedian be funny tonight in their 60 seconds? Yeah. How many of you want to see somebody bum tonight? I did that for 10 years. It was wonderful. Never had a good set.

Alright, I pulled your first name out. In uninterrupted 60 seconds goes to Zachary Eversole. Wow. Look at that. Right from the front. Oh, my God. Come on, everybody.

One more time. Here he is. Zachary Eversole. Hello. Thank you. I just lost 160 pounds recently. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. thank you. To everyone who knows me, I look great, but to everyone who meets me, I'm just a regular fat guy still. Yeah, yeah, it's hard. I've lost a whole human being, and I'm still a fat piece of shit. I've lost two and a half Tony Henchcliffs worth of weight. I've lost... If you ate a box of Tic Tacs

once a week for 32 years, you would still not have eaten as many Tic Tacs as I've lost weight. It's a lifetime supply worth of weight. That's insanity. I used to weigh an eighth of a ton.

If you can measure your weight in fractions of a ton, and the bottom number has less than two digits, you have a ton. If you can measure your weight in fractions of a ton and the bottom number has less than two digits, you have a problem. I used to work with a couple of fat people. We together weighed more than half a ton. We got stuck in an elevator one time.

I've never been so scared. Thank you. Alright. Zachary. All right. Yeah. Zachary Eversol. Fuck yeah, dude. How long you been doing stand-up? This is my second year doing it, but this is really only, like, my fifth or sixth time ever doing it.

Wow, look at that. All that weight you lost. Are you sure you just didn't take your fanny pack off? Yeah, it looks like you're waiting to exhale. You know, I don't normally say this, but I think a patriotic fanny pack is slimming. You know what I'm saying? Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. It is amazing. For those of you listening to the podcast, it is a fanny pack with the American flag on it. I don't think I've ever seen desecration of the American flag quite like how I'm seeing it right now. Osama bin Laden's hat is in there.

That doesn't mean anything. I thought that was funny And I give you stars I appreciate that sir, you're a hero of mine That means a lot to me Oh my god, that's too much pressure Comedy state of the union You're really

They say buttering up works I'm telling you that right now How'd you lose the weight? I just put the fork down I was eating a lot. I was drinking like six cans of Coke. It was a pitchfork, right? Yeah.

He puts his own mustard on the hot dog. I was drinking like six cans of Coca-Cola a day. Oh, yeah. I stopped drinking soda. You know, just stopped eating as much. Started walking around a little bit. That's great, man. Weight just started coming off.

That's great. I've cut back just Starburst and Skittles. That's all I do now. You know what I'm saying? Keep it under control. Man, that's so cool. How long ago did you lose the weight? I just started 2016.

I weighed 375 pounds wow damn that's more than like the undertaker yeah if i'm holding a honey baked ham i would have weighed more than 400 pounds like i've weighed a lot it was listening to you guys too like the podcast and stuff like him and joe talking and like all these guys talking joey talking all these guys talking about losing weight you know like it inspired me really like i and like all these guys talking, Joey talking, all these guys talking about losing weight. You know, like it inspired me really. Like I hear like all these guys can do it. I could do it too. You know, maybe one day I'll get inspired to gain weight. Uh, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum and I think you know what I'm talking about. Uh, uh oh. I just figured it out. You, you have an uncanny ability to guess things about people. I have Asperger's.

I am on the spectrum, yes. Wow, I like that. There you go. I love it. You're damn right. I hate to bring everybody down, but Asperger's, he was a Nazi. I'm not joking about it.

He was. They're thinking of changing. It's not a joke. It's also an awful name for syndrome for a fat kid. Yeah. I got made fun of a lot. You have what? You probably gave it up because Asperger's have a lot of calories.

Oh! A thunderous drumroll for himself. You're going to play a lot of mathematics conventions. Because it took me a while. I love that joke. If the digits are single, you weigh too much. It's like Jeff Foxworthy. single, you weigh too much.

It's like Jeff Foxworthy. If your fraction is one-fourth, you weigh too much. If you weigh a lot, you weigh too much. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. You dress, and I mean, it's an interesting...

I guess I'll ask you this question. Is everybody with Asperger's a big Star Wars fan? True. Is that a weird question to ask? I actually like Star Trek better. This shirt was just on clearance. Wow, listen to the Star Trek fans in the room. Is that why you lost weight?

Because you knew you wouldn't live long and prosper? Hey! Oh, my gosh. Heck, yeah. That won. That won. That won this round, I think, if we're doing it by rounds. You look like a lot of the Star Wars characters.

You sort of look like when they took Anakin's helmet off. You got a little bit of Chewbacca in you. And I'd also say you look like a young Me Too D2. Hey, is that a joke? Fanny pack? No, I wear a fanny pack every day of my life. Can we play a little game called

What's in Your Fanny Pack? You guys like that, huh? Here we go. They're coming back. My guess is that it's just filled to the brim with condoms. No. Just in case. Wallet.

Wow, look at that. Even your wallet is special. That's just a... He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that the way he said it. He's laughing. He's laughing. For those of you listening to the podcast, I made him laugh with that joke.

I've never seen a wild one. Everything you have is eccentric. I hope you don't have a cigarette in there, young man. I may or may not have. A palmol, if I'm not mistaken. I may or may not have substances in palmol, if I'm not mistaken. I may or may not have substances in this bag.

I don't know what I... Whoa! I'll see you after the show. By the way... Yeah, look at this guy. By the way, face the audience, friend. Whoa, okay, okie dokie. That was a good, very good advice.

I got lots of stuff in here. All right. Turns out, okie dokie. That was a bad game. Let's move on. Now I see why you keep it all in the American flag. It's a fun bag. No cops will fuck with you.

Now I get it. Land of the free, Tony. Land of the free. I love that. A lot of merch. A lot of merch, right? When he sells those at the shows. You sign the free, Tony. Land of the free. I love that. A lot of merch. A lot of merch, right? When he sells those at the shows. You sign the fanny pack?

Hey, comedian Joe Rogan sells fanny packs on his website. It's not unheard of. You do the math. It's true. It's true. Oh, my God. I fucking love it. So Zachary, you listen to the show? Every week.

Wow, that's so cool. This is the third time I've tried to get on. I've tried twice in Los Angeles. Once, I think, 2016 or 2017. And then once the five year, I drove from Michigan all the way across the country. You shot up here like a plant the way across the country. You fucking did it. You shot up here like a plant the way you were, right? I knew.

I knew. I knew it was getting third times the charm. I knew there was, like, it's a numbers game, too. So many people sign up in L.A. Of course, you would know that it's a numbers game. We got to get payola involved in this, right? A little payola? Oh, I happen to have

one on my palm. I'm sorry. Forget it. Well, Zachary, I just want to let you know that just fucking keep doing it. Keep doing whatever makes you happy. Whatever keeps you having fun. Yeah, I'm trying to come out to LA.A. soon.

I'm paying my car off this year, and as soon as I don't have a car payment anymore... What do you do for work? Right now, I clean toilets at a university. You clean toilets at a university? Yeah, like I'm a janitor. Like, I clean up... What university?

It's in Michigan. It is a university. Community college? No, it's a school. Tony, white people are taking all our jobs. See what Trump does? This is Trump's America. American flag fanny packs and toilet cleaning.

Oh, shit. All right, Zachary. I feel like I could spend forever this entire episode talking to you, but I got a bucket full of names, and I'm going to keep it moving. It's a high compliment, sir, for real. You're a hero of mine as well. I saw what's in your fanny pack. I'm pretty sure everything's a high compliment to you, Zachary.

Rock and roll, buddy. Congratulations. The third time was a charm for Zachary Eversole, everyone. Yeah. Time was a charm for Zachary Eversole, everyone. Yes. Hell yeah. That was great. That was really cool. What a fun way to start the show.

This feels like it might be a special one tonight. John Coltrane called. He said, put some pants on. Is that the right instrument? All right. John Coltrane. John Coltrane. He's also dead. It's hard right instrument? Alright. John Coltrane. John Coltrane. He's also dead. Sorry for him to call. I spoke with him recently.

Alright. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together. 60 seconds. From Kyle Buck. Wow. Here he comes from the back. This is exciting. I think we have good bucket energies tonight.

This is going to be a fun show. How about one more time for the great and powerful Kyle Buck. Yes. Yes. So I've been branching out my social media recently. I've done Facebook a while. Starting Instagram and Twitter. Hashtags are a challenge.

Kind of got me in some trouble. I saw a friend of mine post a delicious meal, said hashtag food porn. Another friend of mine posted an inspirational quote, said, hashtag word porn. I was like, all right, I'll give it a shot. All I did was post pictures of my niece's birthday party with hashtag child porn. Now, I can't use the internet. But if you think they're hard for me,

imagine how hard it is for our older age folks But if you think they're hard for me, imagine how hard it is for our older age folks. Sitting down in the news with my grandma recently, and she said, you know, if they're trying to stop sexual harassment in Hollywood, maybe pound me too, sending a mixed message. Thank you, guys. That's my time Thank you Fuck yeah Kyle Buck

Hell yeah You know, I know a guy that lost 180 pounds I found it I found it Have you thought about doing edgy material? At all Going into Controversial areas

That's what I'm going for. Like public planning. That was edgy. That's more edgy than I was. I'm not that edgy. I'm not very edgy myself. Well, but I mean the material. The material is dark. I didn't even get the joke.

I'm such an idiot. I'm such a idiot. I did. I'm such a moron. But no, no, no. But I mean, oh, God. Kyle, that was a fun set all around. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

How long have you been on stand-up? About two and a half years. Oh, cool. Where at? I run a couple shows up in Anderson. Anderson, where's that at? About an hour and a half south. Hour and a half south.

Halfway between here and Indy, basically. That's my old hunting grounds. Oh, now. I used to play in a bluegrass band, so that's perfect. Really? Yeah. Jeez Louise. You look like you played in more of a blue cheese band. I'm so sorry.

That one slipped out. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. That's a dream right there getting roasted by Jeremiah Watkins. That's pretty sweet. You need to elevate your dreams. Absolutely. I don't think that's the first time you've been touched by an angel.

I can't come up with this quality of material. No, it's good. You're killing it. Well, I'm just doing Jewish asides. Is that okay? Who knew? Kyle, for those of you listening to the podcast, this is a fucking badass, very aware, in the moment, killing it, gigantic, scary motherfucker. This looks like the guy that they bring in.

If there was a video game about bouncers, this would be the final boss that you have to beat in that video game. To get through every bouncer at every bar, just a bouncer fight. He'd be King Fupa. Oh, that's great. It took me a second. I guess it's not a dream to be roasted by me. All right. I know my place.

More of a nightmare, actually, but I appreciate it nonetheless. You have to be a certain shade of color for Kyle to respect you. He showed me earlier. This is what he handed me. It was that right there. An hour and a half south of here. That's fucking scary shit. The hashtags.

Get it on the ground floor, that racket. That's a good racket hashtag. Hashtag good racket. What do you do for a living? I work for a mortgage company. A mortgage company. Yeah. Yeah, I basically process the documents you sign when you buy your house.

Wow. Yeah. You're like a paperwork guy. Yeah. You wear a suit to work? No. No, I work in the corporate department, just jeans and a T-shirt. Hell guy. Yeah. You wear a suit to work? No. No, I work in the corporate department, just jeans and a t-shirt.

Hell yeah. Yep. I did used to wear a nicer shirt. I worked as a bank teller before that, which was interesting. A bank teller? Yeah. I cannot picture this.

Were you a bank teller on the other side of the window of a semi truck? What are we talking about here? No, the branch I got hired at got robbed a lot. They're like, we're going to bring in the biggest, bad-ass bank teller. Go find me the largest, scariest

bank teller. We're never getting robbed again. Yeah. That can still do math. Absolutely. Me and one other guy, there's two big guys in there. Did they ever try to rob it when you were there? I think one guy thought about it. He walked in and I just greeted him and he just turned around and walked out. It was weird.

You ever try and do material when you were a bank teller? Oh, yeah. What is this transferring funds all about? Who's the genius rocket scientist who came up with the CD? Something like that. I just provide the structure. And you go back in. Yeah, there were a lot of interesting folks. I actually kept a journal about all the crazy

shit that I heard people say. And then I found $5 at some point. You mean like you stole $5 from someone? No, as long as you put it back eventually they never found out. That's not a story for your memoir. You gotta really pick it up.

Kyle, what do you do for fun when you're not working or doing stand-up? Well, I play music with my friends. What kind of music do you play? Are you Blues Traveler? No, it's the Country Bears. Actually, that's closer. I used to play guitar in a bluegrass band,

and so I, you know, play with... Oh, so it's just strictly guitar? You never played any drums? No, no, no, no, no. My feet don't work well with a drum kit. Oh, I know, diabetes is a hell of a disease. My feet don't work well with a trumpet. Oh, I know. Diabetes is a hell of a disease.

My A1C is rising just a little bit. But what was the name of your band? The Stampede String Band. What? Wait, who? The Stampede String Band. The Stampede... String Band.

You're getting into that rodeo cattle market. Yeah. Wait, who? The Stampede String Band. The Stampede String Band. You're getting into that rodeo cattle market. Yeah. We basically just wore flannel and played loud and crass. Wow. Wow. Did you sing at all? No, not really. No, they were way better singers than I was.

So I did all the business work, booking and whatnot. You did the mortgage paperwork for that band? Yeah, absolutely. Come on, people, pick it up. What did you say you wore when you were in that band? Flannel. You should have been called the Roseanne's husband. Yes.

Don't let him get to you. Kyle, you have a girlfriend? No, I do not. Hell yeah. Why do you assume everyone's straight? Thank you. Like I told you when we last slept together, I swing both ways.

Andy wants to know if you have a boyfriend. No. No, I do not. I just wanted to be polite. I appreciate that. But if you were a gay man, you'd be a star already in Hollywood. I just wanted to be polite. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Indeed. But if you were a gay man, you'd be a star already in Hollywood. Oh, yeah. That's the catch with that.

Or a bear. Yeah, for sure. I would never let him eat my angel food cake. Well, Kyle, I mean, so much fun. So nice to meet you. Hey, absolutely. I love the show, and you guys are just fantastic. And thanks for coming to Fort Wayne. Hey, absolutely. I love the show and you guys are just fantastic. Thanks for coming to Fort Wayne.

There you go. There he goes, everybody. Kyle Buck, ladies and gentlemen. So you guys get it. You know how the show works, right? You guys having fun? Shit, I think I see some people from last night out there.

There's people following us around the country, guys. Put your hands together for Steve Simpline. Yeah! What's up, everybody? Did you guys see that the Women's March went on again this year? Remember the first Women's March? They all wore vagina hats that looked exactly the same.

And they were preaching equality. Everybody that's seen more than two vaginas knows that not all vaginas are white i didn't see one vagina that looked like a bulldog with its tongue hanging out i didn't see one vagina hat that looked like somebody stepped in a piece of gum i didn't see one sideways vagina's hat that's fucking racist i didn't see one vagina like two tootsie rolls smashed together with a pink starburst coming out the middle. I didn't see one vagina that looked like a number three from Arby's. That's not fair. Next year, when they have the Women's March,

I want to see a more accurate depiction of vaginas. Because I feel like they're setting an unobtainable goal for vaginas, and that's pussy shaming. That's all I got. There you go. All right. You know, you should do jokes like, a Jewish vagina walks into a bar,

or the Irish vagina walks into a bar, a priest's vagina walks into a bar. Switch up the structure. Hell yeah. I'm just kidding. I haven't seen all those vaginas. Why are you so obsessed with vaginas? Did you go to any of the marches?

Were you there? I saw them on TV. Yeah? Me too. Thank you for your support. How long have you been doing stand-up, Steve? I've only been doing it about two years, almost two years. Almost two years.

Where, here in Fort Wayne? Yeah. This is where you're born and raised? No, I'm from Garrett, Indiana. It's like... Garrett? Yeah. It's like the asshole of Indiana.

Are all of your metaphors pussy and asshole? Yeah, how long have you been a gynecologist? How much do the people in Gary, Indiana, make fun of you? I've only been there one time. Yeah. Everybody in Gary is like, oh, he's from Garrett. That's like our weird cousin.

Garretts are always weird cousins. Okie dokie. Just me, I guess. Are you ever going to expand beyond the vagina subject matter? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's just one taste. Yeah.

I don't know why I said that. That's not all I do. Steve, what ethnicity are you? Is that a weird question to ask? No, I just recently found out at a family reunion where my dad that I didn't know for 19 years met his dad that he didn't know for 50 years, and I'm part Cherokee

and Irish. And black. Wow. I'm all Jew. I couldn't afford the Ancestry.com I just passed $25 and they passed a note back to me. You're mostly Jew and stuff. 98% Eastern European.

You've got some Jew, right? No. Hey, hey! No, I'm not. I'm actually not Jewish at all. I'm Italian and German. I'm a German and Italian. So I'm basically

whatever the opposite of Jewish is. Right. I think I get that. Yes. Alt-right. No. Am I alt-right, ladies? Who's with me?

You do look like you could... No one would guess where you're from. me. You do look like you could, I mean, you could, no one would guess where you're from. You do have a whole thing going on. I don't know what's wrong with me. Irish, Cherokee, and a little bit of black. Yeah, who knows what the black part is? Yeah, I bet around

here. It's probably Africa. Somewhere. If I had to guess. That's just what all black people say in Fort Wayne to get by. Like, oh, I would think. Somewhere. If I had to guess. That's just what all black people say in Fort Wayne to get by. Like, oh, I'm just Cherokee, Irish, and a little bit of black. We're not even sure. You know what I mean, buddy? I mean, I don't even know. We're not settled on that.

That could change. Picture show. Pocahontas. That Trump's hilarious. What do you do for work? Oh, I work with Amish people Building like Ah, that's why you're not admitting you're black

That's what it is It's on a resume when you decide when you're black And when you're not black, right? Under candlelight, you could be anything So what do you do with Amish people? We build like, you know those little pop-up campers that go behind trucks and shit? They got like tents and shit to them.

I'm just kidding. Not really. People don't normally drive their tent trailers through Los Angeles, California, where I live. Well, they do around here, any lake. There's a whole bunch of pop-up tents and shit where people stay for the whole summer. Wow.

The Amish religion sounds wonderful. And that's not all the fun. There's no electricity. Oh, that's bullshit. They got electricity. Oh, they do? Oh, yeah. Really?

Oh, yeah. I give them rides after work. I make extra money doing that. A Shabbos Goy, that would be for Jew, on the Sabbath has a non-Jew open doors and operate electric and stuff. Hell, yeah. So, Steve, what else do you do for fun? You just build trailer tents?

No. I also play basketball and do regular shit like that. Have you ever fallen in love with an Amish lady? No. Do you have a crush on one now? Some of them are kind of cute, but then at the same time, they also smell like shit. Whoa, wow. What a charmer.

Am I right? Not all of them. The ladies love this kind of talk. Why do they... I'm just disgraced at the language that this man is speaking. I've never really gotten to be that close to Amish people.

I'll just follow up. This is interesting to me. Do they really smell? At the beginning of the day, no. They smell like soap. Towards the end of the day... When they They smell like soap. But then, like, towards the end of the day... Oh. And when they get hungry, do they get farmished?

Now, that was what drum rolls were made for, that joke. Now, it's interesting that they smell that much, though, right? Is deodorant not an Amish thing? If they're on Rumspringa, they can use deodorant. Wait, Jeremiah, how do you know about Amish people? I'm very close in touch with the Amish thing? If they're on Rumspringa, they can use deodorant. Wait, Jeremiah, how do you know about Amish people? I'm very close in touch with the Amish community. Wow, I could sort of see that. All right.

Steve, how long have you been working with Amish people? I've only been working with them for about four months. Four months. Yeah. What did you do before that? I was a carpenter. I'd build custom-made cabinets and shit. That sounds Amish, too.

Are you Amish? I don't think so. Did you find all your jobs in the Bible? No. Are you a cobbler? Or have you spent any time gobbling? Oh, shit. What's the thing where they put the horseshoes on?

What's that called? Blacksmith? He's an almost blacksmith. It's like I set up for another joke. He's an African-American smith. That's right. joke. He's an African-American Smith. That's right. Steve, you have a girlfriend? No, I'm married.

Oh, married. How long have you been married for? Five years. Five years. What's that like for you? It's awesome. It's mostly awesome. You went from a fantastic thing and you sold it out right away. It's awesome. I mean, most of the time.

What does she do? Nothing. She's a stay-at-home mom. Wow. That's so... Do you have kids? Oh, wait. Actually, yeah.

She's a stay-at-home mom. That's a lot. That's not nothing. Actually, yeah. She's a stay-at-home mom. That's a lot. That's not nothing. Whoa, Jesus. I think it sounds like we're at a town hall meeting all of a sudden. This town will never allow dancing. I feel like everybody knows who you are, and they're like, yes, he has four kids. How many kids do you have?

I only have one. Only one? She's a stay-at-home mom? I mean, do you need more kids to be a stay-at-home mom? Come on, people. Hey, woman got the vote. Stop complaining, right? Yeah, more like stay on the couch, mom.

Get it together. Either make more babies or clock in, lady. Welcome to America. We pay fucking taxes here. We're alt-right comedians now. This is alt-right. Oh, my god. So, man,

what was it like watching your dad meet his dad while you met your dad all at the same time? What the fuck is that? And why did Maury Povich not videotape the whole thing? It would have been interesting. He looked at me and he said, oh man, I'm nervous. Like, nigga, I met you when I was 19.

How do you think I felt? What did he say? What? The first thing you said, you didn't enunciate clearly. Oh, he said, oh, man, I'm nervous. And I said, how do you think? He can use any word he wants.

He's allowed to use that word. I looked it up in the rule book. It says whites don't use that word. If you are black, do whatever you want. Would you agree with that as a general rule? I don't care who uses it. It's whatever, man. Wait, what?

Am I high? I kind of agree with you. You kind of agree with me. We're like 70%. Okay. So, I don't know. This is a minefield. Steve, you talked about

pussy hats. What's most of your other material about just premises? You don't have to do the joke. What else do you talk about if you were to do a longer set? Being stupid. Not knowing anything about women. Does that one have to do with coming out with 60 seconds of pussy hat jokes?

The being stupid thing? Oh, it's not a callback? Okay, go ahead. What else do you talk about? Working with Amish people. There's a lot of good shit in there. Oh, yeah. There's a lot to work with.

Growing up being the only black person where I come from. Right. Where do you come from? I come from Garrett. Oh, that's right, Garrett. I forgot that. He's from Garrett. So that's a very different... What was it like being the only black guy? What was it like?

It was kind of weird, but then you get used to it, and then you don't even realize when somebody's being offensive. And then somebody who's black that never lived there before comes, and they're like, hey, man, that was offensive. You should do something about it. I'm like, what? White people are so nice.

That's what I find in general. All right, Steve, we're going to keep flying through it. There he goes. Steve Simplines. Man, these people are so goddamn interesting. We have so many more names in the bucket. Good bucket work. Yeah.

You've got to really create sort of like a little, its own weather system. Put your hands together for Nathan Evans. Oh, that's a good name. Oh, I thought it was Nathan Evans. Nathan Evans. Oh, that's a good name. Oh, I thought it was Nathan Evans. Nathan Evans. Nathan Evans is his first time nominated

for the 60 Second Trip. Take your time. Is that Nathan back there walking with the beard? Here he comes. Make a meal out of the entrance. I always tell that. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. I'm from Ohio. Fuck Indiana. But, okay. Hey, what do you say we give Nathan a fresh start and don't yell shit you fucks come back up don't yell anything let this guy have his moment ladies and gentlemen let's restart the clock one time

for Nathan Evans everybody hey everyone I'm Nathan I'm 25 from Ohio I like to wear hats cause I'm balding and I'm Nathan, I'm 25, I'm from Ohio. I like to wear hats because I'm balding and I'm embarrassed. Sometimes take it off, but every time I feel like I'm going to bowling night. Just to look at kids' names. Anyone remember the first time They told their dick was small

I remember I was 14 Saw this number on the TV I was like I'm going to text that I sent my dick They're like that's small Oh okay Fuck you They sent my dick was small

I was like you got a 14 year old's dick in your phone motherfucker you're going to jail that's it alright alright Nathan bailing out after 54 seconds fuck yeah these people are so mad out there that you're from Ohio that they can't even help it.

They just keep yelling shit out because they're mad because you're from a state that fucking matters. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Let that soak in, homeboy. And crazy lady from the beginning. Look at this badass motherfucker. He's been defending us from the White Walkers for years now.

And he gets up here, and you're going to fucking heckle about his home state, my home state, Brian Redband's home state, the people that created fucking airplanes. Let's go. Yeah, they built airplanes so that people like you could get on them and move to a better fucking place. Fuck you! And a great school like Kent State.

Only four students were killed. Not bad. I've never even heard a Kent State reference in my life. I've been doing comedy over 11 years. I usually do Eisenhower references.

Oh, fuck, man. I'm like breaking. This is the episode that Andy Kindler broke Tony Hinchcliffe. I've just been trying to not crack up the entire time. All right, Nathan, look at you. You big fucking... I feel like this is what Louis C.K. looks like now.

I didn't know leprechauns grew up. You're a badass motherfucker, Nathan. You seem both super likable and I didn't know leprechauns grew up. I did. You're a badass motherfucker, Nathan. You seem both super likable and frightening at the same time. It's incredible. It's quite a mishmash. What do you cut down for a living? I work at a grocery store. You work at a what?

Grocery store. A grocery store? What the hell do you do? I work the meat and seafood counter. Wow! Fuck yeah! Sounds like a dating app. I didn't mean that. Whatever it was.

Meat and seafood counter. Oh my god. How long have you been doing that for? Three years this August Three years this August No 20 Not 23 Yeah

Yeah Do you ever joke about your beard? Like hey my beard's like red If Santa Claus was I don't have the joke Put something like that I love it So you used to have a lot of red hair everywhere?

Yeah, it's almost turning blonde, and I'm losing it. You got a badass look, though, dude. No, you look good. I'd have a lot of swagger if I had your human vessel. I try. I'm stuck with this fucking AIDS-y body. Anytime you're upset about your red beard, just think of me. Do you use the word ginger a lot? You don't do that, right?

No, that's offensive. You are a gingerbread house, technically. I can explain how. You love bread. You're a ginger and you're built like a house. Anyway. I love it though. So you just got fresh off your shift at Circuit City and you come in, guns a blazing.

Anyway. Did you mean to match your cap, the color of your cap, with the shirt? Because if so, bravo! Bravissimo! And if you matched your shirt with your beard, you fuckin' nailed it again. I wear a lot of red.

How long have you been doing stand-up? This is my first time. Yeah, that's what I thought. We just popped his cherry, and that's crazy, because he looks like a giant fucking cherry. It's very fun. I'm very nervous. Is this something you've always wanted to do?

How old are you? I feel like you could be 12 or 43. 25. 25, right in the middle there. That's exactly right. I'm not helping. So, this is something you've always wanted to do?

Yeah, I'm just a big fan of comedy. I've been wanting to do it. It's hard for me. I'm very nervous. I was very shy growing up, so it's hard for me to get out. I think that could be an advantage, though. You almost sound like you're from Cajun country. You know what I mean? Like a drawl.

Thank you. I think that's going to catch on. I don't blame you for letting the hecklers throw you off in the beginning. I don't know why in the fucking world anybody who didn't have the balls to sign up for this show would ever yell out anything during a live podcast.

It's mind-blowing to me. I mean, it's obviously not a fan of the podcast. It's the guest of a fan of a podcast, so shut the fuck up. Fucking animals. He did say F Indiana

at the very top of his set, so I usually don't side with the audience, but he asked for it a little bit. Anyway, I didn't really catch that part. Allison of the replay. I heard the lady yell Ohio first, but maybe my timing was off.

When do people get so excited about the state that they're from? Because I missed that movement. Queens! Ohio is like the Ohio is like the state in the middle that sort of like has like the weight to it. So all the other

It's purple. It's a purple state. Yeah. All the other states are sort of like, you know, they naturally have to hate but it wasn't their decision. You didn't decide where you were born. And if you could have decided at the very beginning, if they had a little application for you as a baby, just know you would have picked Ohio.

Let's go. You wouldn't pick Garrett, Indiana, right? Yeah. Give it to the Garrett people. Shazam! And you're from here in Fort Wayne? I'm from Dayton, Ohio. From Dayton, Ohio.

I don't even know how I possibly asked that right now. We know a little something about Dayton, right? Oh, yeah. You ever go to the living room, the strip club? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He looks like he literally lives in the living room. Looks like that's why his beard's red.

Oh, Jesus, Brian. I'm disappointed, though, that you're not completely comfortable on stage after 60 seconds. You know what I'm saying? 20 seconds in, I was like, I got this. What else is in the news? Fuck yeah. Well, Nathan,

it was your first time. You fucking plowed through it. And there you go. Congratulations. You did it. Nathan Evans. We're going to keep moving on. Batman. Batman. Batman.

Batman. Wow. All right. Here we go. This is an interesting name. Put your hands together for Andy Coons. Andy Coons. Andy Coons.

Man. Andy. Put your hands together for Andy Coons, everyone. What's up? Let's go ahead and address the elephant in the room. Got a pretty racist last name. I've had a handful of black friends throughout the course of my life,

but those friendships never seem to last, and I get it. You know, not a lot of black people are comfortable saying hang out and coons in the same sentence. It sucks because every time that I try to make a connection with a black person, it never really gets past the point

of exchanging full names because as soon as I say, hey, my name's Andy Coons, they're like, oh, this friendship is temporary. None of my real friends are going to know that you even exist. I'll give this to the end of the hour.

That's all I got. There you go. It's exactly a minute. I love it. How long have you been doing stand-up? I just started doing it seriously in April. April. Perfect. Well, great. Did you change your name to Coons?

No. That would bother me. I'd be a little upset about that. Yeah, because Flintstone wasn't working. Hey. Come on. Andy's one of the best shaped people we've had on the show so far tonight. Andy.

Well, that's... I mean, I always love things that, you know, those people can... The people that directly are affected by something talk about something. And your last name is indeed Coons. Yeah. So that is great that you're talking about that. You ever think about adding a part, like, you know, because you're like, it's going to be a temporary friendship. You can't introduce your friend like, hey, this is Andy, African Americans.

That's a good tag. I toured the country briefly as Andy Semetic. That's from my app, folks. I have to fess up to it. Oh, that's so funny. Hell yeah. So what made you start stand-up in April? It was actually your show.

Whoa. Yeah. I tried it a few years ago, only did two little open mics. And then I found your podcast and just started listening to it like crazy. And I was like, I have to fucking take this seriously now. So I've been going as hard as I can for where I live. You've never had any black friends, right? No.

What are you talking about? Wow, Jesus. Is that your genuine answer? Is that true? Where are you from? I live up in Michigan, but I'm originally from the Kansas, Oklahoma area. Kansas, Oklahoma. Is that true that you didn't have any black friends? No, I have black family members. I had black friends

growing up. Yeah, of course. What do you do for work? You guys heard that, right? Yeah, we heard that. You're totally cool to keep doing the Coons material for many, many years to come. If I could remember his name, I could prove it. Remember whose name?

My black friend. Oh, gotcha. I'm sorry. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, he's going, he's going, he's going for it. Andy, what do you do for work? I deliver medical equipment like oxygen, hospital beds, stuff like that. Oxycontin?

Is that what you said? Yep, Oxycontin, black tar heroin. Ooh. I can't choose. Did one guy over there take that seriously? I heard one guy go, oh. Andy, don't ask any questions on this show. He doesn't sell black tar heroin unless you give him a little extra.

What do you do for fun when you're not working and doing stand-up? Oh, when I'm not doing stand-up? Yeah, what's a hobby of yours? You seem like the kind of guy that would be really good at fucking solitaire or something like that. I don't do fucking anything. That's simply impossible. Okay, so I'm married and I have three kids. So in my job, I work crazy long hours.

And so I usually get one five-minute stand-up spot a week. I thought you were going to say one five-minute break per day or something like that. I work really long hours. I get a five minute I get about five hours. Five minutes to spend time with my kids and shower up for the next shift.

Some people's lives sound hard. I don't have kids. Nothing to worry about. You know what I'm saying? Get up at two in the afternoon. It's wonderful. How old are your kids? My oldest is 7, my middle is 5, and my youngest is 2. Ooh, that's the perfect spread, right? Yeah.

Five years between the... That's like my family. Five years between the oldest and the youngest. Andy, Andy, Andy, you're putting me out. Not you, me. Alright, okay. Have you and your wife lost the love because of the kids? Have you noticed it? That's a good question. How do you keep the wife lost the love Because of the kids Have you noticed it It's a good question

How do you keep the magic in the bedroom Welcome to getting real With Brian Redman A little bit But that's because our youngest Sleeps in our bed with us You could get arrested for that What a cock block

No Brian you can get arrested for that. What a cock block. No, Brian, you can get arrested for that. I don't think that's how it works with moms and dads. I couldn't even stay in my mother's womb for nine months, let alone the bed. You try and live inside my mother. You make the nagging. The Yelp reviews are awful.

I think you have a very interesting presence, though. You know, very vulnerable, and I'm kind of bullshitting that. How old's the kid that sleeps with you? He's two. He's two. Does he sleep between you two? Yeah. God, that seems like it's cozy. Is your wife a little bit bigger, too? Oh, I'd fucking love to cuddle between you two. Does he sleep between you two? Yeah. God, that seems like it's cozy. Is your wife a little bit bigger too?

Oh, I'd fucking love to cuddle between you two. I don't blame this two-year-old. It seems like it's just adorable. You got good air conditioning in the bedroom? Oh, absolutely. Central. I'm in, dude. Cancel my hotel for the night. If you have a sleep number bed,

three different numbers, right? Tell the two year old It's sleeping in its fucking crib tonight I'm still breastfeeding I think she's my mother I don't know I've got the tits for it, but it never worked So do you have to escape and do it in the bathroom or something? Or do you have to

put a pillow on the kid? Oh, shit. This is not family friendly. I shouldn't have brought my kids too. Do not listen to this while you're falling asleep tonight in bed.

I'm a huge narcissist, so I'm going to listen to this while I jerk off. Mostly huge. That's the kind of stuff I want to hear. Let me ask you something, Andy. You're a bigger guy. You ever get a little concerned that you might roll over on your two-year-old and kill him?

Just a question. I have a puppy. I thought that my puppy sleeps up in bed with me. I have a puppy. I thought that. My puppy sleeps up in bed with me. I have been punched in the face by my wife because I rolled over on our two-year-old. He made it. We met him briefly. Damn. She chose out of all the ways to wake you up to punch you in the face.

That sounds like she wanted to do that. Probably. Was she dressed as the schoolmarm? Classics. All right. We're going to keep it moving along. Put your hands together for Andy Cruz. Thank you. Thank you, Andy. the Schoolmarm Classics. Alright. We're going to keep it moving along. Put your hands together for Andy Kidd. Thank you, Andy.

Alright. Back to the bucket we go. Nice arrangement. Make some noise for Andy Kindler, everybody. It's his first time as a guest on the show. This is a guy that, I mean, we are honored to have on the show. This is like every comedian's favorite comedian. And you guys are very lucky that he's here in your shithole town.

I'm serious. Oh, no. Too soon. Inside information for you. Too late. And by the way, I'm from Youngstown, Ohio. I'm complete white trash, just like the rest of you. I'm only busting your balls, so don't get sensitive on me. He wasn't always

a glamorous star. I didn't always have my own podcast with five people to back me up. Put your hands together for Anthony Rasick. That name sounds familiar. I feel like this is a familiar name. I don't know how

that's possible, but it sounds familiar. One more time for Anthony Rasick, everyone. So I haven't made a student loan payment in 10 years. I figure they'll get their money when I get the future they promised me. It's fair, right? They really want their money, though. They called me the other day, like, congratulations, Mr. Rasek, you qualify for student loan forgiveness.

I was like, yes, I won, ha-ha. I knew I could just wait them out. I'm like, all you have to do is make 200 equal payments of $240, and your loan will be forgiven. I was like, okay. It's like $48,000. It's not forgiveness, That's repayment. Like, we didn't graduate,

so we didn't think you could do math. It's like, ha, take that. We just wait it out. You know, they'll kind of have a finisher for that joke. Sorry, folks. Working on it. Kind of out of breath from running up here. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah Yeah Just gonna wait it out There it is There's the cat I guess Anthony waiting for the cat It's one of my favorite things that people love to do Is just pretend like the cat's right around the corner It's not always there Sometimes it's 52 seconds, and people are just like, anyway.

Tony, are we auditioning for a new Dan tonight? I don't know what's happening, but everybody in Fort Wayne is shaped exactly the same. Like John Goodman. For those of you listening to the podcast, before you tweet at us that all we did was make fat jokes the entire night. Yeah, we're all fat people. It is incredible. Why do you think that is? Because the food's really good and it gets really cold

in the winter. What's your favorite food? Oh, lots of stuff, man. You like grilled cheese a lot, don't you? It's a weekly sandwich for you? About weekly? No. Oh, okay. Anyway. Do you do the chili? Is it the chili size or whatever they have? What? What's the chili size? What?

What's the Ohio thing? Steamboat Springs chili? Like Skyline? No, spaghetti and chili. Is that what you're talking about? I think I was going Skyline. The joke in that vein. Anthony, how long have you been doing stand-up?

About four years now. Four years. Where at? Fort Wayne. Your very own Anthony Rasek. stand-up? About four years now. Four years. Where at? Here? Here in Fort Wayne. Fort Wayne. Here you go, Fort Wayne. Your very own Anthony Rasek. You're born and raised here? No, I'm from Mooresville, Indiana. South of Indianapolis. Okay. What do

your mom and dad do for a living? My mom is a safety director. Is a what? Safety director for a construction company. My dad works at an Amazon warehouse. Oh, okay. He's a drunk. Your mom keeps things, it's like a safety thing, right?

Huh? You said she's a safety? Yeah, she goes to the construction site and makes sure guys are wearing their hard hats and shit. Put your helmets on! Exactly. Hey, Eddie! Are you wearing a cup? Sorry, that does not sound like your mom.

I know. You said your dad's a drunk? He drinks a lot? Yeah. Oh, interesting. Does he know? I mean, I think he knows, but he's in denial. He lives in a motel.

Really? Oh, yeah. How much does he drink, if you had to guess? I mean, I don't really talk to him anymore, so. Wow. Comedy is about sadness.? Oh, yeah. How much does he drink, if you had to guess? I don't really talk to him anymore. Wow. Comedy is about sadness. It is, folks. Last time he came up for Thanksgiving, he was like,

I did really well this week. I didn't drink. I only had one beer. But he also had a bottle of whiskey. Right. The little victories. You have a lot of brothers and sisters? I have two younger brothers. How'd they turn out? Alright, yeah. Alright, cool. You have any kids of your own? No.

Oh, okay. Yeah, this guy's excited about it. Can we do anything? I can barely take care of myself. Say that again? I can barely take care of myself. Stop having kids and follow your dreams. What's the scene like here in Fort Wayne? If you could describe it.

How many other shows every night? What's it like being a comedian in Fort Wayne? It's a little tough. You've got to travel a lot. We had an open mic every week, and then the bar burned down. The bar burned down? That is not a good...

That makes me cry almost. Yeah, it sucks. But, I mean, you know, we have... Do you remember the night the bar burned down? It was Wednesday. It was daytime. It was very sad. Oh, there's nothing worse than a daytime fire.

You don't even get to enjoy it. That's exactly. And was it someone upset about it because it was a bringer show? Is that why they burned it down? Maybe. I don't know. Bringer show. Come on, folks.

It's probably an insurance scam or a hate crime. Was it the day of the open mic by any chance? No, it was like two days later. Two days later. Do you think maybe it was perhaps your set? You burned the motherfucking house down, you know what I mean?

I mean, I don't like to brag. Maybe the roof was on fire. It took a while for it to spread. Maybe. I don't like to brag. Interesting. So basically, the once a week open mic

that there was burnt down. Yep. So then what happened? Well, trying to find another place. And there's, you know, there's one comedy club that's, they only do shows on Saturday, though. And the Let's Guys do a lot of shows here.

And then, yeah, but there aren't a whole lot of open mics. Do the Let's Guys know you? Yeah. Oh, cool. Has there ever been a Funny Bone near this town? I don't think so. That's my favorite name for a club, funny bone. It says it all.

Neat. I like your style on stage. I like it. When you say that... What's that noise? The air conditioning. It's called the universe. The universe, Tony. When you say that you barely have enough time to take care of yourself, what do you mean by that?

Oh, I'm just a terrible person. Huh? I'm just a terrible person. What do you mean by that? What makes you a terrible person? Selfish, I guess? Wait a second, wait a second. Did you burn the bar down at the open?

I did not. No. I mean, I don't know. You're selfish. How are you selfish? Who are at the open? I did not. No. I mean, I don't know. You're selfish. How are you selfish? Who are you selfish to? Lies. Jesus.

I don't know. What is that? I don't know, man. Huh? Do you know that person? Yeah. Girlfriend. What'd she say?

Lies. Wow. You mean the show is a lie or what'd you say? He said that he's selfish and she said lies. Oh, yeah. But maybe you don't know what he's being selfish about. Maybe he's talking about his girlfriend on the side or something like that, lady.

Don't yell shit out. I had a girlfriend in my pouch once. It's a kangaroo joke. When you say you're selfish, what? I saw two people look at each other. They looked at each other like, what could he possibly be thinking? I'm talking about me, not you.

That joke would have killed in Australia. What are you selfish about? I don't know, like time? Like, I don't know. Kids take up a lot of your time. Like, I love my nieces. I have five nieces. I love spending time with them.

But I also love giving them back to their dad and being like, all right, I'm out of here. You don't do that as you leave. Like, alright. So, you know what? The people who say they're selfish are usually not that selfish because you're aware. Exactly. And if you were really narcissistic, True story.

you wouldn't be saying yourself. And self-deprecating, which I'm a big fan of because I'm stupid. I brought my B game tonight. But Anthony, there must be something else that you're into, right? Nothing else? No other fun facts about Anthony?

I make dirt. I run the other comedy festival. Wait, you make dirt? Yeah. That's a scam if I've ever heard one. Have you been on this show before? Yeah. Yes, years ago. Columbus, yep.

Columbus, wow. Look at that. I remember that. You're the guy that made dirt. Yeah. Man, I got you good back then. Probably, yeah, probably. I remember.

I spent minutes on it, too. I'm like, what do you mean you make dirt? That sounds like the easiest job ever. There's the dirt. And everybody was going crazy. Yeah, it was great. Now it's almost five years later. I'm all old, jaded, and beat up.

You know what I mean? Just like, oh, you get the dirt. I remember you. Actually, God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt. What's the, yeah, I guess if we want to listen to the dirt making episode, that's probably, I think, episode 101 or something crazy. 130. 130? Somewhere around there. What's your recipe? Of course, I have probably, I think, episode 101 or something. 130. 130?

Somewhere around there. What's your recipe? Of course. I have it on my phone right now. What's your recipe for dirt? Leaves, grass, a big machine that spins and shreds it, and then bacteria that break it down. Just leaves and grass. How much bacteria?

Well, other plant material. Oh, that makes sense. Are we low on dirt in general? No, I just say I make dirt because it's fun. I make high nutrient topsoil. It's like compost. Oh, okay. It's very fancy dirt.

I don't know. Topsoil? I'm more of a bottomsoil guy. What? I heard that about you. All right. I toured a ZZ Bottom during the 80s. All right, we're going to keep it moving along, Anthony.

Thanks a lot, guys. Good job, Anthony. Thanks a lot, guys. There you go, Anthony Racic. Friendship never ends. All right. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Corey McAfoose. Corey McAfoose. Here he comes comes here he is

come on everybody he's signed up for tonight he's live on Kill Tony in Fort Wayne it's Corey McAfoose alright so this is an absolute dream come true this is my first time on stage so when I bomb about telling you a story about jerking off

you guys can all understand why. So I came on here tonight to tell you guys a story with no punchlines, but a great story about how my brother's an asshole and I had too much testosterone in middle school. So in eighth grade, everybody gets a picture of the hottest girl in their class, right? And you take it home and you read the back of it and it says, oh gosh, you sure are funny. right? And you take it home and you read the back of it and it says, oh gosh, you sure are funny. And so you wait for your parents to go to the grocery store and you hop in the shower and, you know, you put it in the respectful spot on the top shelf of the shower, right next to the lotion. Anyways, so after I grabbed the lotion and started jerking off, my brother was showering after me, of course. And so I must have had a good session

because at the end, I completely forgot I had the picture in there in the first place, right? So after he comes in to the shower after me, obviously I'm whipping my hair back. Is the end near? You want to try to finish it? This is the end, yeah.

So I finally built up enough confidence in the school dance to go and talk to her. Luckily, my brother was at the same school dance and simply just told her that, hey, he must really like you because I got him jerking off to you in the shower. So that is the wrecked confidence that I come to you with a comedian's standpoint tonight.

There you go. Very Louis C.K. Right? Very Louis with the jerking off She wasn't in the room She was just her picker Hell yeah, look at this I never thought I'd get to see Daniel Bryan start to do stand-up comedy

It's really exciting I can't tell whether you're turning into a werewolf Or turning back into a human I'm just trying to turn into you What? I'm just trying to turn into you. What? I'm just trying to turn into you. Hell yeah. You are covered in hair.

What are you? American. Corey, how long have you been doing stand-up? That's your first time, truly? This is truly my first time ever. And you stuck with the jerk-off story. Unbelievable. Well, there was a couple stories that I was trying to find a punchline.

I don't even know what happened in the thing. You were jerking off. Somebody saw you jerking off. He said he bombed last time, though, so that's the second time. No, I said prepare for me to bomb. Gotcha. We're not going to prosecute you

for lying about how long you've been doing comedy, but everything's cool. I'm kidding. I love him, and it was pre-planned. Corey, so how old are you? I'm 27. 27. What do you do?

I do special fabrication and welding. What? Special fabrication and welding. Oh, okay. I make the giant stuff that cuts Jack Link's jerky and freezes stuff and smokes meat and stuff. Wow. You make the stuff that cuts it? The giant smokers and smokes meat and stuff. Wow. You make the stuff that cuts it? The giant smokers and saws and machinery.

Sounds like a carrot top kind of a percussion. Yeah, you know what? If I brought a pump on stage, I could shoot meat into the crowd. It'd be pretty cool. You actually, I mean, from scratch? Yeah. Or from a kit?

Absolutely from scratch. We get in fabricated metal parts that are cut, and then we weld them all together and build it You're like a real grown man Well, sort of I'm only about 130 pounds You look like Conor McGregor after a weight cut You know what?

The sad part about that is I'm going to take it as a compliment It was He was being straight up with you I tell it like it is. No, I appreciate it. You from here in Fort Wayne? No, I'm from Kansas City, actually. Kansas City, whoa.

The home of Jeremiah Watkins. Well, close enough. The crowd goes crazy. I'll have to tell them you said hello. I figured you'd make us... You know, jerk-off barbecue is big. Jerk-off material with barbecue sauce. Well, like in front of them?

When did you get into the jerk-off material? Well, I guess that one would have been in eighth grade. I tried it in front of people for the first time tonight. What did you almost... Let me ask you something. Instead of committing to a jerk-off story like so many comedians starting out... A fatal mistake.

...tend to do. I mean, it truly is. They just go, you know what? I truly think the jerk off shit's the funniest shit. I'm going to go with this instead of doing this. Like, what else might you have talked about? Like, when you thought about what your 60 seconds was going to be, what else was on the subject matter was on the docket there?

Well, I was going to try a few punchlines out and stuff like that. A few punchlines. Well, I was going to try a few punchlines out and stuff like that. A few punchlines? Random, random punchlines. Ping pong balls? I said King Kong's balls. It's not for me. It's for the duck. He's driving. Harry, I have to, but you?

I cannot do that. That's a good way to warm up. I can't do that. I had a good way to warm up. I can't do that. I had to tell a hacky story, you know? I don't got the punch. Oh, I fucking love you.

Holy shit. He had a hat. So, the punchlines that you were going to talk about, what were they going to be about? I guess I just flubbed it up. I had no good stories and I didn't want to sound hacky. Well, it's not about stories. I'm just talking about what else would you have talked, what subjects. Did you have more jerk-off stories?

Did you have a thing about the boomerang? It could be fucking anything, Corey. What might you have talked about tonight had you not told a 69-second-long story about jerking off in the shower? I probably would have told a story about the first time I did shrooms and my buddy had a seizure. I tried throwing a football, but it bounced off a car, so I think I probably went the right route with the jerk-off story. No, I like the football story. Okay. All right. Cool. Now, other stories about my dad. He's a crazy guy.

Are you going to try to do comedy again? Is that something you think you're going to try again? Well, this is more or less just like a super dream to get on stage and talk to you guys and just try it out for the first time. If it went somewhere and I killed, I probably would have pursued a little more, but maybe if it's in town or something.

Well, there's a lot of positions opening up in the comedy field. It's a booming business. You could commercial comedy, industrial comedy. There's so many different ways to make a nice dollar in this business. Oh, fuck.

Man, well, that's an interesting thing to go, way to go about it. So you're out there making machinery. What else do you do for fun? Like, what else is there? Any other hobbies? You seem like a guy that doesn't mind getting in a kayak every once in a while. Yeah, no.

I mean, you'd actually be right. Me and my amazing girlfriend back there, she actually drove me out here. We got two dogs. We like to take them on hikes, you know, go kayaking if it's available. Is that true? Have you been kayaking before? We have been kayaking together. Unbelievable.

So you nailed it. Fucking nailed it. Hey, man, you got it. Young Abe Lincoln material. You can do that. I mean, nailed it. Hey, man. You got it. Young Abe Lincoln material. You can do that. I mean, I should. Hell yeah. I was thinking about

shaving my head, but I figured the goofiest look possible. Young Abe Lincoln material. I like that. Just like, four or so, seven years ago.

I jerked off. He's probably got some good stories. The better jerk-offs of our nature. Hell yeah. Do you know what a fawn is? It's beautiful as you, yeah.

We're two baby deers up here, staring at each other's eyes. I don't like this guy one bit. What the fuck? And that's an angel. That was very hard for me to say. Corey is like if a student that found all the worst improv classes in the world

and just sort of tried to roll with everything but in a weird direction. Yes, and I agree with that. Alright, Corey. We're going to keep it moving along. There he goes. Corey McApoose. Here we go. Back to the bucket we go.

Put your hands together for Joe Boats. Joe Boats. Joe Botes. Boaties. Boaties. Here he comes. Joe Boats. J-O-E-B-O-T-E-S.

It's Joe Boats, everybody. Joe Bates, everybody. I didn't have bad handwriting. I... I was on the way here from Indianapolis and I saw a sign and it said donate your car for breast cancer. That's a pretty bad trade. Okay, cool.

I like TV. Have you heard of this? I watch a lot of TV. My favorite show is Family Feud. Steve Harvey is great. I love Family Feud. It's fantastic. If you haven't seen it, let me describe what the show is. It's a show where it's usually one white family versus whatever they're scared of.

It's like a New England white family versus a black family, an Arizona white family versus whatever they're scared of. It's like a New England white family versus a black family, an Arizona white family versus Mexicans. A Florida white family versus science. My white family versus showing affection. Don't worry, they're not here, guys. They're never here. Alright, thanks. I'm Joe Bates.

Hell yeah. There you go. Joe Bates, ladies and gentlemen. Howdy. Hell yeah. That was a great set, man. Very funny. How long have you been doing stand-up? Oh, about seven years now. Seven years. What are you doing here? I started in Houston.

Then I went to San Jose. Then I moved to Indianapolis. I was told you had to go to a bigger city each time. Really? I did not. You were in San Jose. You were so close to San Francisco. You didn't think about going over there.

I got laid off from my job and you can't afford living there. What job did you get laid off at? I was a civil engineer. So I was working on the BART line. The BART line? The light rail train. Oh, yeah. Train. Real interesting stuff, I tell you.

Well, you went to school to be a civil engineer. Yeah, yeah. Did you like, at one point, were you like, wake up in the morning, I can't wait to get engineering today? I mean... Nah, I don't think anybody really does. So you were thinking of it as a financial move? Yeah, exactly. You're a witness.

It's incredible. Thank you. Objection? Civil engineer for the BART line system in San Jose. So one could say you literally ran a train on the whole city So how long have you been I wasn't good at it how long have you been in Indianapolis? That's the next place that you got a job right? That's yeah. I've been there about three years now three years How do you like it? I love it man. Yeah, what do you love about it?

It's a smaller city, but I moved around my whole life like 14 times. Why? Just running from the law. My dad worked for chemical plants, so he just kind of went to different places. What kind of chemical plants? Is he like Homer Simpson or something like that? Yeah, just chemical ones. I don't know. I never really asked a lot of details. You don't want to ask

questions in that field. Exactly. Did he use the word Monsanto a lot? He could stage presence. Yeah, amazing. I love the bad trade joke. Oh, thank you so much. That's incredible. Really fun stuff.

So, do you get a lot of spots in Indianapolis? Well, we're down to one comedy club now. Yeah, Morty's just closed. Yeah, Morty's just closed. Yeah, Morty's just closed. It's just crackers. Oh, my God. Why didn't you wait

until you told me that Morty's was closed? Oh, your weekend. I'm sorry. But, yeah, it's just crackers. And it's good because, like, Indianapolis is, like, three or four hours away

around, like, 30 comedy clubs, so you can get around pretty easily. Joe, why do you look like a professional poker player? I get property brother a lot, but yeah. Property brother? Property brothers. You don't watch that? No. Oh, come on. Where have you

been? It's what all the kids are talking about. Flip it or flop it. Build it or deconstruct it. The property brothers. They sell real estate and they show you a home. They show you a home and they go,

you like the home? It's $25 million. And then the rest of the show is what they remodeled the first home. You kind of see the plot coming sometimes. Joe, what else do you do when you're not doing these things? Well, I like wrestling a whole bunch.

Really? You're a pro wrestling fan? Yeah, a big fan of it. Wow. That's incredible. Yeah. Rare time to see a comic like wrestling. How old are you? Ron Funches likes wrestling.

Yeah. I'm a big wrestling fan, too. I have a wrestling podcast called The Store Horseman. We just had episode 100, and Joe Rogan popped in on it. Everybody loves Joe. He had his entrance music and everything? No, it's funny. We actually talked about that afterwards,

how he deserved entrance music walking into the studio, but it didn't happen. Joe Rogan's the guy where you just hear his entrance music in your head when he walks into the room. He's a world-class taekwondo artist, Joe Rogan. I took taekwondo too, but you know what I'm saying? I think we all get it. Anyone frightened of me?

So you're just a pro wrestling fan? Any other hobbies or anything like that? I played Dungeons and Dragons a lot. Oh, finally! Yes! Man, you must get all the pussy, Joe. Oh yeah, I'm doing all right.

I'd like to see the comedians. Every comedian has turned their back on me tonight. Sorry, I turned my back on God. This is one of the smaller stages we've ever been on. Did you ever play shirts and skins? It's a Dungeons and Dragons joke. Man, so how long have you been in Dungeons and Dragons since you were a kid? I like two years. I just

started. My buddy was a Dungeon Master. He asked me to play. I never played it before. Your buddy was a Dungeon Master? Or is that like the game? That's the guy who runs the game, basically. Yeah, right. Yeah. Anyway, so, Yeah. Anyway. So, all right.

Well, Joe. You can get acting work, too, don't you think? Acting work? He's got the whole thing going on. I have a strong jaw, they say. A strong jaw? Who said that? The guy whose dick you were sucking?

What are you talking about? Strong jaw. Oh, what a strong jaw and tight lips, you dirty bitch. My jaw unhinges, if that helps. If that helps. All right, Joe, we're going to keep flying through it. We've got to get a couple more people up here. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you. All right, guys. I think we only have time to go to the bucket one more time. Is that okay if we go one more time? Into the bucket. I hope Jay Leno comes out. Hell yeah. Dane Cook.

Oh, shit. You know what? Actually, I know what we're gonna do we have to we have to get a couple guys up here who were originally scheduled to to be opening

for the show that that I'm doing later at 8pm on the stand up show there was a lot of confusion they got booked they were excited

a lot of fun and unfortunately I came with this whole crazy crew that's gonna go up before me on that stand up show so instead of doing a few minutes before me on the stand-up show later,

they're going to come do Crush as hard as they can for 60 seconds. So going up first tonight, put your hands together for Bret Hayden, everybody. Come on. Here we go. All right. Thank you, guys. Two weeks ago after a show, a guy came up to me and he said, hey, man, you remind me of this autistic comedian.

Some of you see it. Fuck you guys. Here was the thing. That was all he said. He didn't give me a name. He didn't even tell me if he liked the comic. He just said, you remind me of someone with autism. Which is less of a compliment and more of a diagnosis at that point.

I definitely have autism symptoms though. Like if anybody here is single, find someone who looks at you the way I look at anything to avoid eye contact. I think that's how you're going to find love. Some people are afraid of dying alone. Me being so introverted, that would just be my preference. I'm being honest myself.

People try to give me advice on anxiety a lot, but 100% of my friends are comics. So their advice just becomes, you should start drinking or you should smoke some pot. I'm actually a straight edge guy which means i don't drink smoke cigarettes or get invited to parties not a good life i still drink monster energy drinks though which aren't good for you guys have you read the ingredients on a can of monster it's just lincoln park lyrics there you go fuck yeah brett hayden. That was awesome, dude. Hell yeah.

Well, that was great. How long have you been doing stand-up? It'll be five years next Halloween. Five years. You live here in Fort Wayne. I actually live about 40 minutes north of Detroit. 40 minutes north of Detroit. What brought you down here?

You're part of the festival. I'm part of the festival, yeah. Okay. What are you doing 40 minutes north of Detroit? What's that like up there? It's not good. Right. I live in Trump country in Michigan, so it's kind of goofy

out there. What was it like to create Facebook? Ah! I'll take it. 40 minutes north of Detroit. What's your tap water like? Delicious, probably. Yeah, you can drink the tap water. Interesting.

You saved my life once, didn't you? Oh, yeah. We hung out after last time you were in Detroit. This is a true story. We hung out. Yeah. And I was on a stool that I didn't realize. And I smoked some pot.

I didn't realize the stool didn't have a back. So we're going. And it was a high stool. So all of a sudden. Ah! Wow. I almost broke my neck. I remember that just because.

I'm sorry. The last thing you you said, when you got up, you almost split your head open. The first thing you said was there was two girls working and they were playing music. You said, who's this artist? They said Post Malone. You're like, oh, I want to hear Pre Malone. Right out of the coma, back from the concussion.

Always doing this. I love it, man. Well, that's awesome, Brad. Anything else you want to talk about? Any fun facts about you? I also love wrestling. Wow. Yeah.

I actually believe that. Really? Yeah. You seem like you look like a wrestling fan. You seem like the type of guy that would... I don't wish I had anything right now. I set it up like I had something good, and I just simply didn't.

What do you wrestle with? Your sexuality? I actually have a bit of that. All right. I don't feel good about that one. You been a wrestling fan your whole life? Pretty much, yeah. Was your dad not in the picture,

raised by a single mom? No, they were in the picture. They took me to a lot of events. Oh, well, didn't you just have everything perfect? I didn't realize some people got to have dads and be a pro wrestling fan. That's some bullshit. I know

Chris Jericho. That's all I can say is people I've met. That's true. I've been to Jericho. Wow. Alright. Let's just keep it moving along. Thanks a lot, Brad. Thank you guys.

Great set. There he goes. Next time I'm around town, Brad, if I don't have anybody with me, figure out something. That guy's funny. And there's one other guy. He's also, not only is he at this festival, but I was told he's also

going to be at the Motor City Festival that we're doing next month in Michigan, and we're also doing Lansing and Grand Rapids up there. Put your hands together for Kyle Forsythe, everyone. Oh my goodness. Hello. Hi, I'm Kyle.

I got a new job recently. I work for a beer company, and I get to try all the new beers. My job title is delivery driver. It's a pretty sweet gig. Don't tell them. It's easy to get a job working for a beer company when you already look like you work for a beer company.

I have, like, the beard of the Unabomber in the face of a cabbage patch doll. I get it. It's just... It's my look. I have, like... Yeah, I have, like, this big beard, which I have a girlfriend regardless of it.

We met on Tinder, so it's totally gonna work out. When we met, I asked her where she wanted to go on our first date, and she told me she wanted to go hiking. I was like, that'd be fun. That'd be cool. That'd be like a really sweet way for me to fucking murder you. Why would you ever do that? So my girlfriend's dead now. She's very much alive. She doesn't like that joke either. She's fantastic. I love my girlfriend. I love her to death. That's why she's dead. I think the cat should be right around the corner,

maybe? Alright. There you go. He's a goddamn professional. Kyle Forsythe. So, the girlfriend. Dead or not? Or not real to ever begin with? Completely alive and love her to death. Wow. How long have you been with her? About two and a half years now.

Two and a half years. You guys really met on Tinder? We did meet on Tinder. Huh. What was your profile like? What did it say? Honestly, I had a one-liner that my friend Brett gave me that he told me women love, the one you just met.

And it was, why are campfire stories never about campfires? That was it. And she's just like, wow, whatever this guy looks like or smells like, I'm in. Yeah. Well, that's awesome. I hope he wears shirts that have cheese on it. If anything ever happens to your wife, there's going to be a date line, though. Yeah.

With all the material. They can just go, and he kept doing material. Yeah, she's not fond of all of the death material. She'd rather I drop it, but I like it. Hell yeah. Kyle, how long have you been doing this? Coming up on five years in December. Five years in December.

And you live in Fort Wayne? I live in Metro Detroit. Metro Detroit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Look at that. So that's what they do here. They ship in a bunch of Detroit comedians for the Fort Wayne Festival. We're like, look, we couldn't get New York or L.A. or Chicago, but Detroit. Festival time. No, I'm kidding.

We're from L.A. That doesn't even make any sense. So, Kyle, do you always dress like a mustard dispenser? It's a new thing. Is that to, like, take the... What's that to do? I like your style. I mean, I keep it condiment-related, at least.

You know, I try and match the colors with condiments. Just red or yellow. You seem like one of the youngest guys with a beard I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 24. Wow. Yeah. You really have, like... You Yeah, I'm 24. Wow. You look like young. You drink a lot of water?

No, fucking none at all, almost, actually. I drink way too much soda. You have that weird Bray Wyatt thing going on. It is weird how much facial hair people have out here. Look in the audience. Almost every single person in the audience has facial hair, including the women. It's really...

I'm taking collections. I need a neck pillow on the fly back. I'm not a big wrestling fan, but all my comedian friends call me Baby Bray. I can certainly see why. That's what I would call you too if we ever became friends.

What does it say on your shirt? Artsy Fart. It's a clothing company and design company out of Detroit. That shirt makes me want to buy clothes. Well, Kyle, I mean, you were awesome. I'm sorry we couldn't

get you on that show, but thanks for coming on this one. You were great, dude. We'll see you around Michigan. I saw him earlier, too. Alright, we got those two guys up. I know we're going way over time here, but what do you guys say? One more name out of the bucket, huh?

How about one more time for Andy Kindler sticking it out in the heat with us? Thank you. Alright, this looks like an interesting name. Your final comedian it out in the heat with us. Thank you for having me. Stick with us. Thank you. Brian Raven. All right. This looks like an interesting name. Your final comedian of the night will go by the name of B-Man Purcell.

B-Man Purcell. Oh, Brian. It's Brian. I'm sorry. Brian Purcell. Whoa. No, that's a good move, though. Come on. All right.

Hello and welcome to the roast of Tony Hinchcliffe. Oh, wow. Yeah. Tony is to stand up what Caitlyn Jenner is to stand up. The one thing I can't figure out though is between the two of them, why is it that it's Caitlyn that sounds like she still has her balls? Tony looks like a gay day walker from Blade, the musical. Tony is actually pretty good at stand-up, which is ironic considering he prefers to bend over. They're hacky, they're hacky, I'm sorry.

Tony had a Netflix special out one time called One Shot. He came up with that name because that's what his boyfriend left in him the night before. How did this happen? Did Tony grow up without ever having a father besides the priest that molested him when he was 11? Don't worry, he grew up Catholic. Your time's up, bitch. Let me tell you something, you bastard. How dare you come up here and insult the throne?

You look like Tom Cruise if he got stranded on a cruise. You look like if the coach of the L.A. Raiders took all his advice from Jerry Sandusky. I deserve it. Big fan. Big fan. Anyway. That took balls. You look like you're going to be buried in a footlocker casket. Thank you. Thank you.

You are wearing everything on you is Under Armour right now. Are you sponsored? Are you like a high school football coach or something? Am I close on that? You really look like one. You look like you need a clipboard and headphones ASAP. Thank you, thank you.

Do you have any jokes about people being gay? I think he just did 60 seconds of them right there. What's your Under Armour made of? That was my first time I had to go with something. Take that, idiot. First time ever. Appreciate it. So this is your first time ever on stage?

Yes. And you spent it roasting the host? Unbelievable. You asshole. It was either going to be ballsy or extremely stupid, and I think it was a little ballsy. You've been watching this show for a while? For a very, very long time.

Was that after Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives? You know it. You know it. And you watch every episode of the show, and you said, this time, I'm gonna get Tony. I'm gonna do what nobody's had the balls to do because everybody had the common sense to know it wouldn't work. I'm going to make jokes about surface level things about Tony

and you came in guns a blazing and look at you and look at me. I understand. Instead of disrespecting you by going up here and saying I didn't think I was going to get called up. No, I love that. It was brave what you did on one level.

No, and by the way, I'm honored. That's cool that you took the time to make jokes about shit that people barely know about me. It looks like your favorite restaurant is Bubba Gump Restaurant. You do have an interesting look, Brian. What do you do for a living? I work at Ford.

Remember, we talked earlier? Oh, that's right. So I listen to you. You were that guy out there. So you drove four hours to be here tonight, right? Yes, and I'll be in Nashville also. Doing the Tony material?

Excuse me? You're going to roast me again if you get pulled out in Nashville? No, I'll have a new man. What do you think you would have talked about had you not spent your time trying to roast the unroastable? Probably black people, maybe. Jesus Christ. Hold on a second. Now, it's been a long episode, guys. Jesus Christ. Hold on a second. Now, it's been a long episode, guys.

I did not see that coming. It's been a long episode. Maybe the Jews and how greedy they are. Something like that. I have to ask, Brian. You're from four hours south of here. What do you think you would have said about black people had you talked about them?

I would have said I used to have a black friend and discuss some of the reasons why I make fun of black people is because he makes fun of white people all the time. And he thinks he can get away with that because he's black. And the truth is, he can. Yeah, he can break me. That's true. He can break me in half. All right, Brian.

Well, we're running out of time here. Any other cool fun facts about Brian? Not really. I just appreciate the opportunity. Do you have any kids? I have two in the crowd. My son. We're going to be the first father and son.

People just booed his son. I don't like to see that. If you would have called my son. We were going to be the first father and son. People just booed his son. I don't like to see that. If you would have called my son up here, he would have had a much better set and made me look better. He probably would have. Is your son actually interested in doing stand-up comedy? I don't know, but he has a hell of a minute. A lot better than what I have. Is that true? It is true.

Oh, well, you're just going to have to find out in Nashville. Oh, maybe Nashville. Are you going to see him? You're going to be in Nashville. Are you going to see him? You're going to be in Nashville. Am I getting it right now? You're going to be in Nashville, and he's traveling around the country like a deadhead, catching all the shows. Yes, yes. That's interesting.

We wanted to be the first father and son, but maybe next time. Yeah, it's not going to happen. We ran out of time, unfortunately. I appreciate the time you did give me, though. That's a cliffhanger. It's a teaser. It's a teaser. That's not going to happen. We ran out of time, unfortunately. I appreciate the time you did give me, though. That's a cliffhanger. It's a teaser. It's a teaser. That's how it happens sometimes.

Will the son be funnier than the father? Most definitely. I guarantee you he will. But that's awesome, Brian. It takes a real set of balls to come up here and do anything at all, and you probably took that spot from your son here tonight. Probably so. Probably so.

You just let him sign up. You would have increased his odds of getting picked, and instead you got pulled, and you tried to make fun of me, and god damn. I almost feel bad for you. Yeah. It's going to be a long four-hour drive home with your balls sticking to your leg. Those Under Armour jogging pants, thinking about what you could have said. Ironically.

Rewriting the Caitlyn Jenner balls joke over and over. He's now sponsored by Blunder Armour. Ouch. Blunder Armour. I love it. Pretty good. All right, Brian, thank you so much. There he is, Brian Purcell, everyone.

And that is a hot and sticky episode of Kill Tony live from Fort Wayne, Indiana at Let's Fest. What appears to be a very fun festival. We're excited about it. We just got in. We're doing a stand-up show that we got to turn and burn around everything for. How about one more time for the great and powerful Andy Kindler, everybody? Thank you. Come on.

You were so funny that you fucked me up a little bit from laughing too hard. I could barely get my fucking things together sometimes early on. I have insurance for busted guts. I love you. I'm sorry that was my last line.

Truly an honor to have you on, Andy. Thank you, sir. Thank you. The great Jeremiah Watkins, everybody. Come on. So angelic. Listen to every episode of Jeremiah Wonders. That's one of my favorite podcasts out there right now.

He plays a bunch of characters, has great guests on, a lot of fun stuff going on over at Jeremiah Wonders. And how about Joel Berg, everyone? Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez. He's on social media. Mostly sorry. Anything else, Joel? Oh, it's just amazing. I've gotten to meet most of my heroes, well, half-naked.

So, it's just weird. All right, bye. There he is, Joel Jimenez. We're all doing stand-up in this crazy stand-up show that I'm headlining in whenever they turn this place around and hopefully fix the AC or something and

we'll figure it all out. That was a hot and sticky episode of Kill Tony. Thank you guys so much for coming out. See you guys. Thank you.