KILL TONY - KILL TONY #313

Episode Date: November 30, 2018

Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 11/26/2018 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866- 531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Please play responsibly. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website deathsquad.tv. There you have all the past episodes including video portions of the show. Also click on

tour dates. Not only do we do the Kill Tony every Monday at the world famous comedy store in Hollywood, we also are on the road. We just announced a brand-new show January 26. We have Kill Tony in Phoenix, a special Kill Tony show there. Go to deathsquad.tv and click on tour dates. Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website, TonyHinchcliffe.com. Go there for everything Golden Pony.

Ryan J. Ebelt, he's the house artist. He draws every episode. Check out his website, RyanJEbelt.com. And last but not least, ShopSquad.tv. There you have the official Kill Tony shirt. And you also have all the Death Squad merch, including mugs and hats. Go to ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of kill Tony.

Hey, this is where I've been coming to you live from the road, famous comedy store, main room for a brand new episode of kill Tony. Give it up for Tony. Wow. Look at this. It's a real live audience on a Monday night.

Hi, everybody. You're here at the number one live podcast in the world. Make some fucking noise. We're live. Brian Redband is here. Ryan J. Ebelt, house artist, has already started drawing tonight's episode. While you all sit there, he's gonna draw the episode, and at the end, we get to see

what he drew. Sort of feels a little bit ringy-dingy in here. You feel that? Hi, comedians. How are you guys? There's a bunch of comedians and people. Sometimes audience members sign up. Sometimes it just seems like a bigger audience than comedians tonight. That's pretty exciting. It's probably still home.

It's like a big dead... Oh, that's what it is. Oh, so maybe... I feel like there's probably less names in here than usual, so more people are going to have a bigger chance, right? Yeah, yeah. That's exciting. Holiday version. Maybe we'll meet somebody or find out more about somebody that we've met before.

I'm excited about this episode because we're just going to fly through with only a couple things to mention. I'm going to Baltimore to do stand-up by myself this weekend, the 29th, 30th, and December 1st. And I'm performing stand-up comedy in Dallas, Texas on New Year's Eve with Jeremiah Watkins featuring. And then Kill Tony goes back to Phoenix, Arizona on January 26th,

a little daytime 3 p.m. banger of a show in the gigantic, massive, beautiful stand-up live there in Phoenix, Arizona. And I'm doing stand-up the night before on the 25th, right around there. And I'm there for Royal Rumble weekend. Oh, yeah. Exactly. I'm excited about life and things are fucking good.

We're live on YouTube right now. I'm pumped about that. Hello to everybody watching around the world. And let's just jump right into it, shall we? Let's just get to tonight's episode. In fact, you know what? I'm not even going to bring up a guest yet. I'm going to bring out the best damn band in the land. Every single week, the band commits to characters throughout the entire episode. They stay in character, and every episode there's something

different. Every once in a while we'll see the return of some of our favorite characters. We never know what they're going to do or what they're going to be. It's their own separate division, but they are the best damn band in the land. It's the Kill Tony Band, ladies and gentlemen. Jeremiah Watkins, Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez,

and Chroma Chris. Uh-oh. What does that mean? Whoa. What is this? Wow. Wow. I don't even know.

Whoa. Wow. This is like old-timey characters of some kind. Oh, my God. How do you find milk? It's unbelievable. Jeremiah is a full-blown milkman. He has a little milk crate with actual little tiny bottles and a hat that says fucking milkman.

I mean mean they must have spent the entire budget on it wow thank you for this milk it's real milk in a real milk carafe okay that's enough okay we get it we got it okay oh

little cookies oh milk and cookies thank you milk man wow make some noise for this Oh, little cookies. Oh, milk and cookies. Thank you, Milkman. Wow. Make some noise for this. Oh, he's getting high on his own supply over there. Milkman, this is definitely your first time ever on this show. You have an amazing, you look like a milkman. How's it going?

Gee, Tony, it's swell to be here. I'm glad to have you. This is very exciting. Clearly you have the kid that Mr. Rogers molested next to you. And we have what appears to be Tony Hinchcliffe back here. Giggity, giggity. My name's Bill Billingsley. I hate my wife, and I'm fucking my secretary.

Thank you. Back to you, Tony. I work in advertising. Wow. Wow. I am so excited about this. Some old-timey characters, and we're going to start our show without a guest. At some point, we might have a special guest joining us, but you guys get to see the bare bones of Kill Tony tonight. So let's fucking do it, shall we?

Tony, I hope. Oh, Bill Billingsley, yes. I just hope we have separate but equal buckets tonight, is all I'm saying. Okay, Bill. I have a bucket filled with comedians' names. Sometimes it's somebody's first time ever trying stand-up. Sometimes they're coming back on the show after having a rough set, or maybe they were an instant legend.

Anything can happen. I pull your name out of the bucket. You get 60 seconds. You know your time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. That means wrap it up then, or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. Wow. Look at all these people that have like the timing down. They just wait until I fucking announce the bucket. Then they come in like soldiers. This whole thing is starting to get like a crazy rhythm. Hey,

there's the Apollo 13. Hi, Apollo 13. Hello. There they are. They have their own life. Hi, Apollo 13. Hello. There they are. They have their own life. Hey. All right. I pulled a name out of the bucket.

Your first comedian tonight. You guys ready for this? We're here. Nobody has more fun on Mondays than us. That's the only rule. I pulled a name out of the bucket. Make some noise for John Adams, everyone. John Adams, everyone. John Adams.

A lot of people moved like they were getting out of the way for someone to come up here, and then nobody came up. It was very bizarre. No John Adams. Wow. Poor John Adams. I guess he's still riding with Paul Revere or some shit like that. You know what I'm saying? John Adams.

What kind of fucking old-timey name is that? I love a? John Adams. What kind of fucking old-timey name is that? I love a good history joke. Alright. Okay. Your next comedian goes by the name of Anthony Lavelle Thomas, everyone. Wow.

Wow. I am so tired of being poor. I'm so fucking broke. I'm sleeping in my car right now. Like, it just don't make sense how expensive rent is here. $3,000 for a one-bedroom. I started scratching my fucking head. How am I going to make it in this town? But I believe in myself. Like, I'm going to get this shit done. Like, they can't stop me.

See what I mean? Like, this shit is gold man like I got all the world all the time in the world to think and I come up with the most brilliant shit I'm telling you like when he called my name

I was like Paul fucking time like I just like I've been ready. Like, I was like, just put me on fucking stage. Fuck, yeah. Anthony Lavelle Thomas. This was, no, stay up here. Stay up here.

Get on, get up, get towards the microphone. Oh, yeah, I forgot I need the mic. Yep, there you go. Stay up here. Stay up here. Get on. Get on. Get up. Get towards the microphone. Oh, yeah. I forgot I need the mic. Yep. There you go. How many... Wow. Okay. Danger Mouse.

This was incredible. One of my favorite all-time performances on the show, first of all. But I don't think you know why. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't care. I just wanted a reaction. No, I love it. You said finally you got pulled out of the bucket.

Have you signed up for the show multiple times? Like, I don't know. This might be the ninth week. Wow. And this is, and you. Now that's dedication. You just got awes like there was a kiss on Full House or something like that. Okay, so let's talk about it.

You had nine more weeks than you needed to prepare for that set that you did here tonight. So you heard some people laugh, and it seemed like you got a lot of energy off that, right? Because it's true. Ha, ha, ha, I love you. This is like if Ric Flair bragged about everything that he did, but he couldn't wrestle.

You have all the swagger. I'll fuck somebody up, trust me. What do you mean? No, I love fighting. No, no, no. No one's going to fight here. Yeah, Tony, dude. No, like the sport, like MMA and, dude There's no fighting on this stage

I had one in the chamber, but it might wait for later No, because you was like If you couldn't wrestle, I was like, nah, I love this shit No, no, no, it was an analogy with Ric Flair I got you, I got you No one is challenging your wrestling You angry, angry busboy Jeremiah, go ahead

I'm broke, I ain't got nothing else to look like this is like if frederick douglas never wrote anything there's no reason to try man anthony let's find out a little bit about crazy say what say t like because anthony tries too hard anthony relax relax okay. Have you done stand-up comedy before? First minute. That's your first minute ever doing stand-up. You've been signing up here for nine weeks. What else have you been doing the last nine weeks?

Other than not taking your medicine. Did you know that the rent is free in loony bins? Am I right about that, Anthony? Did you stop taking medicine recently? No. Rent is free in loony bins? Am I right about that, Anthony? Did you stop taking medicine recently? No. Oh, okay.

Wow. I thought I was going to get a yes there. Place would have gone crazy. All right. Anyway. So how are you surviving? You're sleeping in your car. I do Postmates. You do Postmates.

Oh, so you are about to go postal. The milkman. You make like 200 bucks a night. Really? I do. You do? Delivering Beverly Hills. Wow. like you make like 200 bucks a night really i do you do delivering barely deals wow man how long you've been doing that for uh like nine weeks plus nine weeks plus so did you just get to la nine weeks ago no weeks ago? Nah, I've been here since last November. I was living in North Dakota, but I'm from California, Riverside. Oh, okay.

What made you go to North Dakota? Ain't no motherfucking jobs back then, so I had to go up to North Dakota. I was working my ass off. You couldn't find a job in Riverside, so you looked for a job in North Dakota? Nah, I was born in Riverside. I went to high school, Hemet High in California. Okay.

So why'd you go to North Dakota? Like, it was hard, and I ain't had no money, and my cousin was like, you can come up here and play basketball, get a job. Wait a second.

What kind of basketball were you playing? Playing There's no pro team in North Dakota I was High school You went to North Dakota in high school? Yeah I did my senior year there Is anybody else's radar

Going off the charts right now? Just because I memorized my whole life story Don't get mad at me. You memorized your life story? You brag about the most interesting things ever. How do you do that? I have a good fucking memory, obviously. You just couldn't remember that

one minute set? He mad. He mad. He mad. They always get mad. You're not delivering Postmates in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood. I don't know where the fuck he live. Chroma.

Ginger, please. He's so mad. They always get mad. I promise you. I'm chilling, though. Nobody's mad. Everybody's. This is a big comedy show.

No, it's hilarious. I know. Look out there. Look at those people. I don't like how you're staring at me. All right. We're talking. That's how you're staring at me. All right. We're talking. That's why I'm staring at you.

Everything's okay. Everything's okay. So what do you do for fun, Anthony? Now that you can't play basketball because you're not North Dakota anymore. I'm going to call this guy Steph Scurry. This guy's a ginger with attitude. What do you do for fun? What have you been doing for fun the last nine weeks?

I just go to the gym Play fighting games Like Street Fighter That key that's connected to your wrist That's to my car That is to your car, so you keep that right there Yeah Because what, You lose your keys sometimes? No, I've never lost this key.

Have you ever lost any keys before that key? No. You've never lost a set of keys before, yet you have your one and only key attached to your wrist. No, I got a different car. When I moved here, I didn't have a car. My dad's a mechanic, so

he got me a car. He bought a Honda. He was like, it's going to run good. Just got to fix it up real quick. He did that. I got it for like six, put three in the paint job. Yeah. Oh my God. All right, Anthony.

Man, that's your first set huh just go ahead give me that golden ticket thing i come with him in it every week you are adorable you are this guy has more fucking more swagger for some reason i mean it's-blowing. Tony, just go ahead. I can tell you why. The talented comedians that I've met, the hundreds of them, that could use a boost of your fucking confidence of what you think you did here tonight

and what you're capable of. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Do you want some milk and cookies? Nah, I'm good. Red band coming in with the tough questions over the top. Have you ever had milk and cookies at the same time? I'm trying to lay off sweets. What?

I'm trying to lay off sweets. What about if there was just one night on a magical ship? I'm good. Whoa, Jesus. All right. My God, I never thought I'd almost get beat up offering a man milk and cookies. Jeez. You're like the opposite of Santa Claus.

He's like, knock off Malcolm Hatchet. Malcolm Axe. Oh, wow. You fucked that one up. Malcolm Hackett. Okay. I love the milk man. Chroma Chris throwing the whitest of shade.

All right. Well, Anthony, stand-up's something you're going to do more of. Are we going to see more of you? Are you going to sign up again? Yeah. All right. Well, we'll have to talk more. I guess we'll talk more.

I guess we'll find out more next time. One of the most threatening people in the history of the show. Anthony LaValle. I really come off like that? Yeah, you do. I'm so nice. I can't believe they let you drive Postmates in Beverly Hills. Thank you.

Everything's good. Yes. Make some noise for Comedy Store Security over here. Always. Yes. Make some noise for Comedy Store Security over here. Always. That's the Neil Armstrong of the Apollo 13 right there, if you're wondering. The first in command. Bacon soda! All right.

I don't know if we've ever had this person on this show before. Make some noise for Marquette Marquette at Quedadaddy Marquette, Marquette, Marquette Marquette Marquette Marquette Alright

Blacklisted He missed his spot You could tell him he missed his spot. Why are you seating those people there? That part's supposed to be... Oh, jeez. We're fucking on the wrong place. You guys just got sat in a dead corner.

Yeah, it's supposed to be closed. You know that? It's okay. They look Mexican. Would you rather be there? You can sit in the front row if you'd like. Are you guys Mexican? Yeah.

It'd be cooler than you guys just not being able to see the whole time. You guys are here to see the show, right? Yeah. Have a seat right there in the front row. Hell yeah. Making dreams come true. Yep. Make yourselves at home.

You got sat where you're not supposed to be sat. Yeah. Here's a little taste of white privilege. Dude. What are you talking about? It's like a Gap commercial. How dare you call that a white man right there? What is happening?

Yeah, it's freaking J. Cole, dude. No, I'm introducing them to it. All right, well, welcome. Yes, white privilege featuring these two Mexican people fresh off the old migrant caravan straight into a... Hell yeah, dude. Oh, come on. Yeah, they made it past the tear gas.

They came to kill Tony, baby. Billingsley. Si se puede. All right, your next comedian goes by the name of Mike Eaton. Mike Eaton, ladies and gentlemen. Here we go. I'm sick of veterinarians acting like they don't make a lot more money than me.

I've seen like eight homeless vets this week. There's one on my corner and he's standing there. He had a dog with him like a resume fuck that guy I just moved out here from Texas and a bunch of people told me not to move here because people are sensitive which is cool it's a problem for me I'm an ableist I just think I'm better than handicapped people

better at walking most of the time You know, I'm not in great shape But I can outrun anyone with one leg Right? I'm also an ageist I don't think babies should work I can definitely outrun them That's my cardio level

Just faster than a baby I'll say faster than a toddler I'm faster than a toddler, right? The other side of that I don't really like the old. They're clocking up the highways. They have five years left. They're going to spend three years of it on the highway. Thank you so much.

Fuck yeah. Mike Eaton? Yeah. That's your last name? That's me. Well, you were eating it up there tonight. I'm sorry. Yeah, don't.

I'm sorry, of course. I don't, I want to, I mean, Brian Starstruck, he loves Bob's Big Boy. It's really. This is him, Brian. This is a Christmas gift for you. You can get another sticker for my laptop. Yeah. Okay.

There you go. Give it up for Jack Hack. All right. Jack Black, nobody? Bill, relax, Bill. Wow. Milkman. It's getting colder than the Cold War up here.

Wow, I think I'm going to go fuck my secretary. Jesus Christ. First of all, that language is not approved. Wow, my goodness. That kind of attitude. I'm done. What is happening? Bill Billingsley is having a midlife crisis back there.

All right, Mike Eaton. You are an adorable, adorable boy type of man thing. Thank you. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Like seven months. Seven months. Hell yeah. And you already somehow look like both Mike and Molly.

It's adorable. I think I tried to make that joke two weeks ago and it didn't work. Little fun fact. Do you know that we've met before? Oh, geez. Here we go. No, I didn't know that. You did a show in Austin, where

I'm from. How long ago was that? I want to say November of last year. I know. It's been like a year. So we went to the Spasmatics in downtown. Yes. I bought you and the woman you were with a drink. Yes, that's my wife. She's right over there. Hello! Hey!

Or is it? So I take a Snapchat that night at 11.30. It's the band. Tony and his fiance at the time. And then I wake up at 4am in an ambulance. Two doses of roofies in my system. So I either saved one or both of you.

But like, yeah. So that was the last time I saw you. And now I'm here. What the fuck? I'm confused at the part. How did you save us? No, I don't know. I think that's just like.

He mixed up the drinks when he gave them to you? I don't know. But yeah. Wow. Yeah, I got roofied. Yeah. So you got roofied. Yeah. So you got roofied. Yeah.

The night that you were. How were we at the Spasmatics together? I met you there. Cedar Creek Courtyard. No. After the show, I was like, hey, can I buy you a drink somewhere? And you're like, oh, we're going to go see this concert. Oh, that's right.

You probably thought I wouldn't drive. That's right. I'll get rid of him. I do remember meeting you now. Yes, indeed. Now it makes sense. The Spasmatics were fun. They're awesome. They're great. You know that far? That's right. I do remember meeting you now. Yes, indeed. Now it makes sense. The spasmatics were fun. They're awesome.

They're great. You know about them? Oh, yeah. They're huge. So is Mike Eaton. So, Mike, what's going on? You've been doing it, what, seven months? Yeah.

November, and here we are. And how's it been going for you? Are you back in L.A.? Yeah, I here we are. And how's it been going for you? Are you back in L.A.? Yeah, I just moved here. So I thought I would try it out here where people are good at it. Right. I'm not yet. Mike, how's your mother doing?

Very well. Why? Oh, she's a beautiful woman. Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you. Mike, what's your living situation? You just moved to Los Angeles fresh off the boat from Austin, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm living in Azusa. Azusa. Yeah, I know. God bless you. I'm with you. What is Azusa? Remind us for us non-worldly people.

It's a place here like 45 minutes away. What direction? East. East. Right on a map. That's a place here, like 45 minutes away. What direction? East. Right on a map. That's what I was thinking. Right on a map. But look at you, you little fucking Christopher Columbus. Tenacious double D over here. Milkman, what is happening up here tonight?

I'm a little concerned about our friend back there. Bill Billingsley. All right. Well, so, Mike, what have you been doing to pass the time? What is the guy? You seem like a happy guy. Yeah. You're one of the most jolly young men.

How old are you? 27. 27? Yeah. 27? Yeah. Uh-oh. Looks like someone's about to get a cookie. Heck yeah. Hey, would you like a little milk to wash that down?

A little milk for you? When did you take that out of the refrigerator, Jeremiah? You can just keep that now. Now you can say, after that milk sip, you can say you've been roofied twice. Hell yeah! Thanks, Speedweed. Thank you, roofiemilks.com. Want to roofie someone in the weirdest way? Roofie their milk. Have some delicious... Alright. So Mike...

Roofie that milk goes down like silk. Rubymilk.com. All right. Mike, what do you do for fun? I go and do and watch comedy. Other than that. Oh, eat. It's got to be something else. Yeah.

What do you love to eat? What do you really love? Like, what's the, like, you know, what's the grossest type of binge eating that you do? I eat a 72-ounce steak. 72-ounce steak. 72-ounce steak. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. By choice. Yeah. What do we consider that? Like a porterhouse for two type of thing? Yeah. Or is this at a restaurant? It is.

It's a place called The Big Texan. I got my name on a wall. You got your name on the wall. Yeah. Hell yeah. Something you'll never be able to say about the building that you're at right now. Wow. Oh, God.

I'm glad you did it there. Hell yeah. Just kidding, Mike. You're so jolly. This is like Chris Farley had to do a bunch of cocaine to get in the character that you're in right now naturally. Do you do drugs? Yeah. Oh, you do.

Yeah. Perfect. There you go. Fucking nailed it. What are we talking here? Soty drugs? Yeah. Oh, you do? Yeah. Perfect. There you go. Fucking nailed it. What are we talking here? Sodipop? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Just that. You have a lighthouse tattooed on your arm. What happened that night? I think Xanax. I thought I was profound and put an eyeball in a lighthouse. Yep. Not funny. Sorry.

I love how you laugh at yourself. It's so adorable. It's so out of nowhere. All right. All right, Mike. Well, I didn't get an answer out of you. Your biggest binge eating thing. Did you answer it?

The big ass steak. Oh, yeah. The child size steak. Yeah, but that's like a one time thing. What's your go to? What's the most fucking disgusting? Well, 21 choices here is amazing. 21 choices?

It's like ice cream and you go through a big line and then you can just get back in the line. Oh, you're such a badass. I love it. They have 21 choices. I want to try all of them. Hell yeah. Do you just crash through the wall and say, Oh, yeah!

Chroma Chris! For those of you with your Kill Tony bingo cards, you can mark Chroma Chris killing off your fucking... There it is. Okay, Mike, it was a pleasure to meet you. bingo cards, you can mark Chroma Chris killing off your fucking... There it is. Okay. Mike, it was a pleasure to meet you. I could talk with you all day about what you love shoving in that fucking little jolly gullet of yours. There he goes. Mike Eaton,

everybody. Does he have an AOL? Mike Eaton is on Twitter at Mike Eaton Comedy. That's E-A-T-O-N. All one word, Mike Eaton Comedy. His last name is Eaton. His last name is literally Eaton.

How did we miss that? I know. I didn't. I mean, what a... It was the first joke that I made, by the way. We didn't. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. Eat it again now.

What is happening? I'm in advertising. I hate my wife. And I'm fucking my secretary. Hey. Bill Billingsley is here, ladies and gentlemen. Fred Fredlison does not approve. Okay.

I pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Blake Layer. Blake Layer, huh? Whoa, is that him getting up out of the middle of the audience? This is very exciting. It's always our favorite getting up out of the middle of the audience? This is very exciting. It's always our favorite people come out of the real crowd with the real people. Wow. He came crashing in.

Well, at least I made you laugh right there. Come on. One more time for Blake Lair, everybody. Come on. So, people used to say I look like Matt Damon. Now I just look like I ate him. I bought Magnum condoms last week.

It's really embarrassing returning Magnum condoms last week. It's really embarrassing, returning Magnum condoms. I'm a huge fan of work equality. I'm the only white male in my whole department. They all work under me, though, so it evens out. My wife gave me chili last week. Delicious chili. But it burned so much

my asshole turned into a wrapper. It was spitting fire. That's it. That's all I got. Wow! I mean, what can I say? that's it that's all I got wow I mean what can I say what can I say

you are instantly my favorite comedian we've ever had on this show came in for those of you that are listening to the podcast came in with a good head first slide right onto the stage Tony I just got a text from the Apollo 13. They said, why you trippin'?

Bacon soda! I can't believe Bill Billingsley is getting texts from the Apollo 13. It's actually spelled trippa. Why you trippa? Okay. What is that device that you're holding back there? Yeah, it's so... By the way, you better watch your mouth.

You look a lot like my son. And, uh... Whoa. Some kind of television remote that you're holding? The milkman just saw an iPhone for the first time. Okie dokie, Blake. Let's talk about it. This is your first time ever doing stand-up

Absolutely I love your style How about you give Blake another hand, everybody He came up here, he fell Check it out And then he did some jokes for the first time ever How old are you? I'm 23

Hell yeah you are Where are you from? Well, Colorado, but we're visiting from Japan Colorado, but you're visiting from Japan My Colorado, but you're visiting from Japan. My wife is stationed there. I don't trust this communist one second. Your wife is stationed there? She's in the military?

Yeah. Wow, what does she do in the military? She's, I mean, it's not important. Are you in the military? No, no, I'm a bitch-ass spouse. Yeah, he's in the Salvation Army, Tony By the way, now since you said that it's not really important Now I want to know what she does in the military I didn't really want to know before

She's in maintenance So she just calibrates torque wrenches and stuff like that It's not important, it's boring She's serving the country, but that's fine. Wow. So your wife is boring. How long have you been married? Five years.

Five years, and you're 23. Yeah, I got engaged when I was 17. Wow. Whoa, even in my time. That's insane. I don't recommend doing that. I don't recommend that, but it worked out. Well, I mean, when you say you don't recommend that, but it worked out. Well, I mean, when you say you don't recommend that, how many 16-year-olds do you think are listening to the show right now?

This club's 21 and over. I mean, if you're talking to these people, they've already made it. So you don't recommend your wife. You don't think that was a good idea, getting married. You were in Colorado at the time. Yeah. And how does that happen how do you get engaged at 17 explain that to me high school sweetheart uh-huh

really super in love yeah can you explain the feeling of regret in one sentence. So you were high school sweethearts. So when did you ask her to marry you? Was that at like prom or some shit? No, no. I was, I took her up on top of a, it was a mountain made of stairs in Colorado. Oh my god. It's a whole mountain made of stairs.

So just a staircase. I took her up the whole thing and we were holding hands. You went up a mountain staircase for this? Yeah, it's like

two and a half miles. And then you got down on one knee and she thought you were just catching your breath. Why didn't you just take her

to the sock hop, you silly so-and-so? Wow. Okay, so you're 17. Was she 17 at the time? She was 18. She's a couple months older than me. Ooh, look at you, you little fucker.

I turned 18 right after I proposed. Wow. Like a month later. All right. And then what? How much longer after that did you get married? A couple of months. We wanted to go and do it someplace private, but our parents got involved.

Oh, your parents got involved. The old 17-year-old wedding. God forbid those fucking parents get involved. They had to be involved. They had to sign a paper. They didn't want to be there. They just had to, to legally let you do that bad decision. I told my mom I was going to get married and she went, oh, that's great.

Wow. Is your mom like super Christian lady? No, she just didn't believe me. She thought I was fucking with her. Wow. I'll pray for her. Yeah. What kind of milk does she drink?

So there you are. Now you're. Leave those to me, please. Five years deep into the marriage, how do you feel about things? Do you jerk off a lot? Why is that a weird question? Yeah, how often do you let your milk curdle? I'd say like maybe three times a week. Oh, two percent.

Wow. Huh. Have you ever, I mean, all right. Have you ever been tempted to try chocolate milk? Because I'll tell you what, I've dimmed... Uh-huh. Man.

So what are you doing? You're just visiting L.A. for a little while? Yeah, I came here to see the show. That's what I'm here for. Wow. We drove 18 hours yesterday.

Wow. That is so fucking cool Fucking love you dude Wow Thank you And you signed up today And you got up So now what

Do you drive back what Tomorrow We drive like next week Like we're here for a while Oh cool We're gonna go to Vegas And go see Cirque du Soleil too Oh wow

I have a friend there Named Ichabod You should go see him At the Ka Theater The MGM Is that the I think that's what it is. You should go see him. At the Ka Theater, the MGM? I think that's what it is. We're going to go see Humanity. Oh, cool.

Yeah, that's a crazy one. And how's your mother doing? Good. She's a beautiful woman. All right. Well, Blake, amazing. Your first time on the show. First time ever doing stand-up, right?

Yeah. And you're 23 years old. What do you want to do with all of that? What do you want to do with your life? Where do you see this all going? I manage a restaurant right now, but, I mean. Yeah, what type of restaurant do you manage? It's a burrito place.

It's on base in Japan. Oh. Wait, a burrito place in Japan? That's called sushi. All right. Well, Blake, when Kill Tony goes to Tokyo, you'll have to come out and show us the way around, alright? Absolutely. Well, there he goes, everybody. Blake Layer, all the way from

Japan. Lives in Japan. Originally from Colorado. He's going to Vegas. Anyway, back to the bucket we go. You guys having fun out there? Make some noise for Spencer Waldner, everyone. Spencer Waldner.

This is definitely a new name. Nope. Blacklisted. Something doesn't feel right about that one in my gut. Hey. There's a crazy person out there. Oh, my God. I cannot fucking believe this.

This guy gets up more than anybody somehow. We're just going to fly through it. He's literally like the bad guy of the show. Adorable looking little kid, but he just fucking everybody hates him. He gets pulled out of the bucket continuously. He said some of the most racist shit we've ever heard

before on this show. Make some noise for the one and only Julian Aguilar, everyone. Here he comes. Here he comes. I lost my nug. Whoa. I lost my nug the other day

while I was smoking it and that's like when you're shopping at the mall and you lose your kid man it's not cool I got the coughs attack and I got up and the nug rolled off my lap and I was like damn it's gotta be here somewhere on the carpet

unless my friend the roach came and scooped it up so I was there like Velma from Scooby Doo looking for it when she loosed her glasses you know Damn, it's got to be here somewhere on the carpet unless my friend the Roach came and scooped it up. So I was there like Velma from Scooby-Doo looking for it when she loses her glasses, you know. And then I was like, fuck, there's nothing. And if you're a stoner, you don't give a fuck. You go grab the vacuum in your vacuuming room. You open that dust thing. You look for it through all that fucking shit and all those toenails and all that cat hair and all that fucking pubic hair and you get that shit and you pick it up and you smoke it.

And I was like, oh, nice and high. I was like, man, that's nice and worth it, man. I don't care if my mom and dad bitched at me for fucking turning on the vacuum at three in the morning. Hell yeah. Wow. Hell yeah Wow Julian is one of the first people ever To get actual booze from the comedians Normally a culture that tends to stick up for each other

And sort of defend each other on the show But I feel like the comedians really Really genuinely hate you And I feel like it's not really, really genuinely hate you. And I feel like it's not your fault, by the way. You know, let me tell you something, dude. When I started here, I was 22. How old are you?

22. 22. And the first time I came here, I signed up for the open mic, which only selects at the time you know 15 out of 40 and I was lucky enough to get on that lineup and I got up again the next week I didn't get up the next night because you know there's

a rotation and also it wasn't randomly selection which is even crazier about your thing that luck and pure fucking crazy odds are putting you into this position to make everybody hate you so much

because they want that opportunity so badly. And you've had it, what I feel like, I mean, maybe I'm crazy six, seven times in the last ten weeks. I think it's my... The odds of that are crazy. You keep looking worse every time you get up. You look like a fucking refugee tonight.

I really do. It's really unbelievable. Somehow you look younger every time you come on this show, too. I don't know what kind of fucking... You just look weathered. You look like the desert did something to you. I don't know. Back to you in the studio, Tony.

So, Julian, what do you have to say to those haters out there and out of those groups of comedians that just booed you? What do you want to say to them? Now's your chance to stand up for yourself. Just go in one ear and come out the other. Hell yeah. That's what happens when you have big ears. What was that?

Some lady just yelled at Julian, get better. Oh, shit. Wow. Man. Anything in your normal life different since the last time we talked? You still live with your aunt, your uncle.

What do you do for work again? I'm not working. Oh, no. I did get pulled over by the police.'m not working. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no. But I did get pulled over by the police the other day. Oh, yeah? For riding my bike. Oh, good.

Okay. Yeah, so you got pulled over by the police? Yeah. For riding my bike. It had no lights on it. Oh, my God. What a fucking little

dork you are. That's incredible. They cuffed you? Also, the little girl you stole it from was still attached to it. Is that true? Why'd they cuff you? It was a little boy. He was trying to smuggle relatives in the little E.T. basket.

So why did he cuff? There's no way he cuffed you for just not having a light on your bicycle. No, for real. It's cuffing, C-Cent. Where are you? He cuffed you for just not having a light on your bicycle. No, for real. It's cuffing, C-Cent. Or so I've heard. It's called being a policeman and doing an upstanding job, Tony. I know.

He's just doing his thing. Did you smoke any pot that day? I smoked weed everything. You smoked weed everything? Did he find weed on you or anything crazy like that? No, he didn't go through my bag. So he just cuffed you? Yeah, he just cuffed me, and then he wrote me a ticket, and then he let me go.

He's like, oh, I just got to detain you, dude, you know? For a bike light. I don't know, dude. What neighborhood is this in? Sesame Street. Wow. You are a fucking child. What neighborhood was this in? It was here in Hollywood.

Here in Hollywood. You pointed that way. What part of Hollywood? It's gigantic fucking. You're not even in Hollywood right now. You're in West Hollywood. Well, Hollywood Boulevard, I mean. Hollywood and what?

Right around where? No, I was on a stage. Selma. All right, fuck it. I guess a question that has a definite specific answer. Can you say Dr. Jones? In front of the Chinese theater. Can you say Dr. Jones? Say Dr. Jones say Dr. Jones? Say Dr. Jones

Dr. Jones I don't get any of your references He's calling me Dr. Jones Alright, okie dokie Well Julian, you get up a lot We talk to you a lot You're the luckiest motherfucker People hate you

But you know what dude, you gotta fucking embrace it But you have to write jokes, man. I am every day, but I don't know what works. You know? You have to talk about shit that you, your perspective. What was the joke in that minute that you did? There wasn't even a joke in there. You just vacuumed some weed and smoked it.

No, but like... Yeah, there was a bunch of pubic hair. Was that the jokes? The pubic hair? Yeah. Oh, God. I have a mean poop fart The pubic hair. Was that the jokes? The pubic hair? Yeah. Oh, God. Jesus. And I have a mean poop fart shirt on, and I think that's stupid. Yeah, you have to do better, man.

Okay. You're Latino. You got to fucking, you got to do good for us, dude. All right. You can't be doing this shit. This is what Trump thinks we're doing on stage, man. You have to take serious chances. Don't just say stuff that you think the audience will think is funny

because they'll see right through that. You have to surprise them. You have to make them think you're going one way and then don't have just fucking dirty, stupid fucking kid shit. Be smarter. You can have a real perspective. All these people that boo you and hiss at you,

they can't do jokes about looking like a goddamn 15-year-old. They can't talk about that at all because they look haggard and beat. They're just jealous. They're fucking tripping out. They're jealous. Oh, is that a little way? What was that? Shades of...

I don't know where that came from. Back to you, Jeremiah. The milkman has something to say. Perfect example. Element of surprise. I think... One time a lady in a poodle skirt hollered over to me, said,

meet me in the alley over here. I said, well, miss, okay. I guess I'm on my lunch break. I went over there. She pulled up the poodle skirt. There's a seven inch ding dong underneath That is my favorite story Is that the end of the story?

What happened then? I can't digress from there It's good Alright Julian Well uh Fuck yeah Rock and roll There you go kid

Julian Aguilar. Anything can happen on this show, and Julian Aguilar is complete proof of that. Okay, this looks like a familiar name. Make some noise for Eric Stanaford. Eric Stanaford. Lucky back corner. The luckiest, the farthest possible corner all the way around.

And let's pray for the tripod. Wow. Wow. All right, all right. So, have you ever tried to surprise your significant other, but they're trying to surprise you at the same time, so it completely ruins your surprise? Last Valentine's Day, I'm trying to surprise my wife with a romantic candlelit dinner,

and she surprised me with a divorce. Really didn't feel like eating after that. You can't microwave salmon. You know it's time to move on when members of her family are suggesting you download Tinder? End up saying things like, all right, grandma, you make it sound pretty good. I'll give it a shot. As you can imagine, I've been pretty depressed. I was actually on a suicide prevention hotline the same night that Anthony Bourdain killed himself. I woke up to the news horrified.

Did I keep the line busy? My therapist laughed real, real hard at that shit. Hell yeah. Eric Saniford. Welcome, welcome. This is your first time on this show, right? First time on the show.

I've been signing up for about six months. Wow. You've been signing up every Monday for six months. Take that, nine weeks, idiot. Yeah. That's fucking incredible. Man. And so what happened? Six months months ago you got out of prison

And you're like I'm gonna go fucking sign up for The Divorce actually like I've wanted to do Stand up my like for a long time I've been a huge fan of stand up my whole life And I finally said Fuck it why not When you got divorced you did it

Fuck that's so cool Everything in my set was real I feel like this is the future version of the guy That got married at 17 Earlier This is him, he'll come back on the show 40 years from now You don't remember me, Tony

We can only hope he gets this funny I was on the show 40 years ago I told you, I got married at 17 Did you really try to microwave the salmon? No, I actually still have the frozen salmon steaks in my fridge. Oh, Jesus. Don't eat those.

What about salmon steaks? I'm so confused. What did I miss? Well, he was going to cook a meal for his wife, and he ended up getting a... She divorced him before he even... And then I didn't feel like eating, so the salmon went bad. Oh, man. Jeez Louise. Where are you from, Eric?

I grew up in Florida. Grew up in Florida. When did you move to Los Angeles? Ten years ago. Ten years ago. Like last week makes ten years. Wow, that's so cool and

what did you do I came out here to be a skateboard photographer for skateboard magazines and then I learned that nobody makes a living doing that oh wow

our good friend Rick Kosick Rick Kosick's been a huge influence wow do you know he's out there oh yeah I've talked to him before

I've studied his work as a child you better do oh my back in the film days before digital digital, all that stuff, man. I know what's up. Wow. Jesus Christ.

You're like a tough guy. Who's the best skateboarder you ever shot? I've shot a lot of people. Tony Alva is probably the most famous one that I've shot. All right. I'll take Tony Alva. Back to you in the studio. Wow.

Jesus Christ. All this skateboarding. Original Dogtown skateboarder. That's fine. Back to you in the studio. Wow. Jesus Christ. All this skateboard talk out there. Original Dogtown skateboarder. That's fine. Oh, okie dokie. For those of you that are big skateboard fans. Yeah, I think we have some. There's one guy.

Thank you. I call them rascals. So, Eric, let's talk about it. You have like a tough guy look to you. For those of you listening to the podcast, he sort of looks like if Chuck Norris had milkshakes made with only romaine lettuce or something like that.

All right. He looks like Vincent Van Gogh skateboarding. He does. He does look like Vincent Van Gogh skateboard. I'm trying to go for Andrew Santino chic with the beard, but it's not working so far. You look like a tough guy, but also like a stoner. You're like a reefer Sutherland or something like that.

I had dreadlocks until the beginning of August. I had dreadlocks about down to my back. Really? Shut up. Yeah. Wow. Really? Shut up. Yeah. Wow. Why? And then you got divorced from them.

Pretty much, yeah. You look like a guy who wears poodle skirts and shows your ding-dongs to grown men. How long ago did the divorce happen? February. February. Wow. So that's recent. So she was out here with you?

Did you marry her in Florida? No, no. I met her out here. I was working at Starbucks. Uh. Wow. So that's recent. So she was out here with you. Did you marry her in Florida? No, no. I met her out here. I was working at Starbucks. And how long were you married for? 14 months. We were together for eight years, but we were only married for 14 months. Was there another guy?

Yeah, that's what it looks like anyway. I'm not exactly sure. When you say that's what it looks like, that means you walked in on them and started masturbating? That's what it looks like. That means you walked in on them and started masturbating? The dude she told me not to worry about is on our social media a lot these days. Better watch out for that ding dong. Okay, milk man.

You guys are old timey tonight. Did it look anything like the milk, man? No, no. This guy looks like Louis A.D. Alright, that's a Louis C.K. Kids are put on milk gardens all the time. What happens if I go missing? Louis B.C. If he tells ten more jokes, I do have a guy

who can do a perfect Tony Hinchcliffe tattoo. Is he here tonight? Oh, do you really? Wow, look at that. Could you imagine if I did that, got Tony's face on my leg like that? For people listening, it's an amazing...

Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, and the great George Carlin on his leg. That's great. Looks a lot like George Carlin. The tattoo artist is Mervin Gutierrez, 346 Inc. on Instagram. What does Tony Hinchcliffe look like? You gotta get it.

We'll find out soon. Alright, cool. Oh my god. I'm just gonna weird you out by getting you tattooed on my face. You keep those antics up. You certainly will. Eric, tell us something crazy about you that we would be surprised

to know. Any little fun facts about you? You have any special skills or talents? You ever do anything crazy? I'm a photographer and a painter. I have a grip tape company for the skateboarding where I stencil portraits of people onto grip tape for skateboards.

I've been doing that for about five years. I'm trying to keep me in the skateboarding because I've injured my back and I can't skate anymore, really. What was that noise? Were people just slapping their thighs at this man? What was that soft... Is there someone wearing fucking leather gloves out there clapping for this

man? Some villain in the back? What was that sound of soft slapping? That was incredible. Did you hear that? I've never heard that noise before in the history of being in this room. It sounded like four people with gloves clapped at the same time. So strange. Would you be able to do the Kill Tony band on skateboard grip tape?

Probably, yeah. Okay, we're gonna talk after this. Alright. Wow, there you go. Get a grip. Six months waiting to sign up and you fucking you talked about some shit and Milkman? Have you ever been in a

hopscotch tournament before? Because I'll challenge you, buddy. I'm good around these parts. I don't think so. All right. Eric Stanaford. There he goes, ladies and gentlemen. Eric Stanaford.

Good luck. He's on Instagram at S-E-S-P-E-R-I-C. There he goes. Eric Stanaford. Cheer up, man. Everything's going to be better. He was great. He's been signing up for six months straight.

One more time for that guy. Come on. Yeah. This show's fucking crazy tonight. Anything can happen. What a weird show. What was that. What a weird show. What was that? What a weird show.

Bill Billingsley, are you drunk? I hate my wife. I'm fucking my secretary. This is my only solace. I'm starting to wonder if he started the show drunk.

He has a look in his eyes like he's sort of drunk. The milkman fucked my wife. There, I said it. My kid looks just like this guy. Fuck you. All it takes is three pumps. Bill. Bill, Bill, is it? Bill, Bill, Bill.

Dad, please calm down. I'm this guy's dad now. Oh, my God. Bill Billingsley has stood up. Oh my god Bill Billingsley has stood up Bill Is there any Just out of my own curiosity as a fan I gotta know

Is there any truth to the rumors That you started drinking before tonight's show How much? Hold on Tony I've been drinking a long time My wife's fucking the middle man Oh my god

This is I feel like there's a lot of His eyes are bloodshot red too Oh wow Oh my god Okay Let's just His eyes are bloodshot red, too. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Okay. Let's just... That's why I've never drank Sprite in my life. All right.

I pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Chip Nicholson. This name sounds familiar. Chip Nicholson. We know Chip. Hell, yeah. It's Chip. There he is.

I don't believe in black ghosts. Anybody else? Never heard of a haunting. Never seen a real black ghost. Came to the conclusion, you know why you don't see black ghosts? Because black ghosts ain't got shit to haunt. Think about it. Every decade they come back, it's better than when they left. They're like, ooh.

Ooh. My work here is done. And they fade away to heaven. I said that at a show one time. You know why you don't see black ghosts? And this lady stood up. Because they're too dark. You can't see them. I'm like, that's not where I was going.

I think it'd be funny to see a colorblind crip. You know, like a crip that don't see color right, you know, like he's coming to the meetings. Hey, why the fuck nigga Jerome always coming in green? No, he don't see color, Craig. Give him a chance. Nigga, just give him a chance.

Meanwhile, he's doing drive-bys on niggas in yellow and shit. Cool, all right. There you go. Chip Nicholson. Hey, what's up, Tony? Coming in like a goddamn surgeon laying down the law. You've been on this show numerous times. Originally from San Diego, right? Yep, yep. You've been on this show numerous times.

Originally from San Diego, right? Yep, yep. You worked at the La Jolla Comedy Store. I did, yeah. You've been coming to this show for at least, what now, three or four years? Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least, yeah. And you've lived in L.A. for that long? No, I've lived in L.A. for about a year now.

Okay, how's that going for you? Horrible. Why? Why is that? L.A.'s rough, man. I got a boot on my car at one point. I freaking crashed my car at another point. It's been a rough trip.

But, I mean, comedy's fun. I mean, this is great. How long did you have a boot on your car? I had it on for about two days. Here's the thing. Was it a Timberland? Here's the thing. Was it a Timbaland?

Joel Berg. You fucking deserve it on that one. Jesus Christ. Timbaland. All right. So, yeah. How'd you get the boot on your car? Street parking?

Yeah, it was a lot of fucking street parking things. So the lady called me. Or I called the lady and everything to get the boot on your car? Street parking? Yeah, it was a lot of fucking street parking things. So the lady called me, or I called the lady and everything to get the boot off the car. And I don't know why this is, but every time when you call those ladies, the first person you call is a piece of shit. Like, every single time. So the first lady I called was this black lady who hated her job, and you could hear it in her voice and stuff. And so she said that I need to get the boot off in three days and if i didn't pay today then i would get it towed right i call back

again i get a white lady and she was like real nice about it and i was like hey who's the other lady she was like that's deborah no one likes her and and uh that lady was like yeah no no you can uh you can get it off in a couple of days. No big deal. And the cops will come and pick up the boot for you. It was like a completely different phone call. So you are saying here live on this show the white ladies are nicer than black ladies. No.

Can we get the Apollo 13? No, I am not, Tony. No, I am not. I'm glad he said it. What I'm glad he said it. What I'm saying. Aphrodite, put that butcher knife away. So that's interesting. Do you think that it was just a one-off situation,

that it just so turns out that the white lady there at the boot place was nicer than the black lady? Oh, yeah, no, definitely. Not in my experience. Oh. That's some milk, man. Chip, do you think that there's any chance that the reason why the white lady was so nice to you is because over the phone you seem like a white guy?

Oh, yes, Mr. Chip Nicholson uh oh my god well hello yes this is chip there's a boot on my car and uh and i don't think i know how to get it off uh there must be some huge mistake because if you can hear by the sound of my voice, I should not have a boot on my car at all. My name's... Who would give a boot to a guy named Chip Nicholson? That's literally... I do turn on the white voice when I'm trying to get out of trouble. Can you give us a little example of what that sounds like?

I have a couple of them. Let's say that you're calling the phone place. I'll be the lady at the boot place. Okay. Hello, Los Angeles Transportation and Boot Shit. Hi, how you doing? My name is Chip Nicholson, and I just really wanted to get my boot off. I was wondering if there was any type of fee or something that I need to pay. Well, by the sound of your voice, Chip, I can tell you right now you won't have to pay any fee at all.

We're going to come get that boot off of you as fast as we can, Chip. We're on the way. In fact, we have the GPS here on your phone. We know exactly where you're at. Chip, Mr. Nicholson. You know, that just sounds fantastic. Thank you very much. Well, if you'll turn around, you'll see the boot's already off. We got it off. Hurry, Chip.

That was quick. All right. Well, have a great day, just like the rest of us white folks. Bye, Chip. All right. Well, zippity-doo-dah. Goodbye. That's what it's like on the... Yes, Milkman. Yeah, I would like to hear what Chip sounds like when he talks to his black friends now. Oh, okay. Let's give that a...

Chocolate chip, Nicholson. Chocolate chips. Thank you, Mr. Milkman. He actually ate a cookie. Oh, that's good. Chip, you want some milk to wash that down? It's the community. Someone else, who took a sip of it?

Was it little Julian Aguilar? Who was it? Honestly, how old is that milk, Jeremiah? Man, thank you. Thank you. Who sipped the milk? Hey, thank you. Thank you. Fair warning. Yo, thank you thank you thank you thank you fair warning yo thank you thank you and I think I just did the black voice right now yo thank you thank you

yo y'all thank thank you that was so perfect the Apollo 13 just stopped him from taking a sip of a sip of the oh that was no chip... No, Chip, don't do it! Black people don't even drink orange juice at other people's houses, let alone milk. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What the hell is that? It's a fact! That's a fact. Yeah.

Black people or Mexicans will not drink milk. Oh, now you're adding Mexican to it. Well, you know what? Actually, I think that goes for white people, too. I think you just shouldn't drink orange juice at other people's houses. Or milk. You always want to know when the orange juice is open, and you don't want to have to shake it. It seems like it's too big of a deal.

Really? You should only drink orange juice at your own house. It's not really a communal beverage. You should either water or nothing at that point. Brian, you would drink milk at someone's house? You would just drink milk at someone's house? One, I don't drink milk. I drink almond milk.

Wow. There you go. And I don't drink orange juice. There's too much sugar in that shit. Oh, my God, Brian Redman. For those of you that know anything about Dr. Redman over here, the nutrition specialist. What are you drinking right now?

He drinks so much almond milk that he's shaped like an almond now. It doesn't even make sense. They're tiny and adorable. Apparently they have almond milk at Bob's Big Boy now. Chip, what else is white about you other than your voice? I like to snowboard, skateboard.

I like white bitches. Wow. Oh, my God. The Apollo 13 is throwing ninja stars up here for this view. I mean, I like all bitches, but, you know. I like to snowboard. What else? I don't know. I like anime. I love snowboard what else I don't know

I like anime I love anime that's weird but I feel like is that what you call having sex with white women snowboarding straight powder son

alright well there you go I mean just a hilarious set you came in and fucking laid it down for a minute thank you better than anyone else so far here tonight and it's a fucking blast There you go. I mean, just a hilarious set. You came in and fucking laid it down for a minute. Thank you. Better than anyone else so far here tonight. And it's a fucking blast to have you always.

Thank you, man. It's so fun to watch. I'll say this. Some of these people that you get to see when you don't see them for a year or two, and then you see them again, and they're exponentially better. I'm serious. That was the best minute you've ever had on this show. You came in and you just fucking laid it

down. And it goes to show that that experience and doing it for a length of time, and I know that you're always here and hustling and going up a bunch of different places and shows and getting around, so it just goes to show that fucking working hard works.

He's proof. It's Chip Nicholson, everyone. He's on Twitter's Chip Nicholson, everyone. He's on Twitter at Chip Nicholson. Fuck. Alright. Back to the bucket. We will go. Make some noise for the milk man everybody Jeremiah Watkins

the new cat burglar shirt is out at Jeremiah Watkins dot tv slash shop you can just say dot tv yeah go to Jeremiah Watkins dot tv hell yeah or dot com whoa I didn't realize it was Yeah, go to jeremiahwatkins.tv.

Hell yeah. Or.com. Whoa, I didn't realize it was.com. Either one. jeremiahwatkins.com or.tv. Get the Cat Burglar t-shirt. They're, I believe, 5% off Black Friday, Cyber Monday, something like that. I just want to know how this guy knows about the internet.

You're from back in the day. How did you know about that? What do you know? Okie dokie. I believe there's some inter guy knows about the internet. You're from back in the day. How did you know about that? What do you know? Okie dokie. There's some, I believe there's some intertensions between the band tonight. It's called alcohol. I'm really surprised. Bill, I don't think I've ever seen you this tipsy before the show. And I will say that if you were ever going to pick a character out of one to be completely drunk,

I think you pick the best possible one. I hate my wife and I'm fucking my secretary! During our intro, when he walked out with the Coors Light cup filled with alcohol, I was like, oh boy, we're in trouble.

That Coors Light cup is now empty and I drew a name out of the bucket that I feel like Joel will enjoy. His name is Julio Huerta. Julio Huerta. Coming from the back. Yeah, movement from the back middle. Watch that camera stand.

Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. Nice to meet you guys. Hello. My name is Julio Huerta, and that is the most Mexican name you've ever heard in your life. I'm from San Gabriel, California. Of course, you won't know where that is. I've had probably the most stereotypical jobs as a Hispanic American.

It's okay to laugh. I've been a gardener. I've been a ballet dude which I think can't beat those two I've been I've been I've been to work at El Pollo Loco so afterwards

after the set you can catch me selling hot dogs outside with ice cream I a set, you can catch me selling hot dogs outside with ice cream. If you're not a real Mexican, unless you are initiated in a Mexican dance-off, if you've been in a real Mexican dance-off, if you guys want to know what that is,

I have cousins from Canada and you have to go all the way to Mexico. Fuck yeah. Julio Huerta. Grab that microphone. Hold that. Hold that right in front of your mouth. Thank you.

Hold it right there. Tony, I like this guy. Keep it there. Keep it there. Julio, keep it there. Guys, he was hilarious. You guys just couldn't hear it. Julio, keep it there. Guys, he was hilarious. You guys just couldn't hear it. Julio, keep it there.

You have to hold the microphone up to your mouth. Julio, how's it going? How do you feel right now? I feel awesome. It's my first time, guys. We love you. We love you. I love you guys back. You gotta talk closer into the tip of that microphone. It's something that affected your entire set

because we couldn't quite hear you. You guys have an awesome show going You guys have a great show going I love your band You guys have a great chemistry going Thank you Julio We've never had a Podcast critic comedian

At the same time I'm excited that we pulled you out Wow okay so this is your first time doing stand up Right? First time ever Hell yeah is this your first time doing stand-up, right? Yes. First time ever. Yes. Hell yeah. Is this your first time ever on a stage performing something? We're losing that mic again. Julio,

you're the first person in the history of the show to just find the microphone completely unnecessary. This is double microphone show because not only is that a real audience with the speakers that go from the mic to here, but it's also a podcast. So the microphone is incredibly important. Yes.

At one point, about 20 seconds into your set, even though I gave you a real chance, something in my gut told me that you were going to get closer to the microphone. Sometimes my gut is completely fucking wrong. And you didn't. Jeremiah and I did a little dance with our eyes. He pushed you, pushed the mic a little bit closer to you to indicate that you weren't in the microphone. And yet then you

took a full step back. And then an amazing, amazing work that I've never seen before, which by the way, I thought was hilarious. I think slowly bombing your way to the back of this stage to where you... I was hoping it was literally

just going to end with you just moving on. And then steal our weed. And you just got on the old Michael Jackson slow moonwalk. You know what I mean? The old just fucking like the saddest moonwalk ever. So what's a Mexican dance-off? Can you do one for us? Oh, of course.

Wait, did he say Mexican dance-off at some point? I'm pretty sure you guys are challenged. Did I just miss that? He said it like Mexican dance-off. Wait, what the fuck is a Mexican dance off He's trying to challenge me Hit it homie It involves tequila

Wait He already won Look at that guy he beat me Wow they are dancing They are definitely having a Mexican. Wait a second. Whoa. This is incredible.

Bill Billingsley. You guys are on fire. Oh, my God. Now he's just trying to hump him. Wow. Officer. Hey, what's up, fool? Bill Billingsley is drunk as fuck. You guys missed my girlfriend jokes.

I hate my wife! Julio Huerta has all the mic cable in his hands at this point. For those of you that are fans of nervous cable grabbers, which we've seen a lot of on this show, he just had the entire cable for a moment, literally wrapped around elbow to wrist like some type of grip. This guy's like Benicio Del Borro. Woo!

Julio, where are you from? San Gabriel. That's like 15 minutes away from LA but with traffic. Whatever. Oh, okay. Benicio Del Snorro. Okay.

There he goes Off to fuck his secretary There goes Bill Billingsley So Julio This is your first time on stage How old are you? 23 23 years old

Alright And you're San Gabriel What do you do for work? I'm not joking I'm a gardener Are you really? Yeah, proud, man. Wow.

Six days a week. Wow. You may have just won the Mexican dance-off by answering that question. What type of gardening exactly do you do? Landscaping. I was in college. That's where it's at, man. Wait, that's where what's at?

The landscape? No, I mean that's where you want to succeed. Go to school. What were you going to school for? VCR repair? English. I was a writer. Yeah.

I don't want to bore you guys. You were a writer. I've never seen a writer retire before the age of 23 before. Are those fake hands? That was the old me then. Back when I had hands. Okay. I picture...

Alright, forget it. So Julio, you live with your parents? I do. Yeah, what do they do? My dad owns the company. Your dad owns the company? As in the gardening company? Oh, fuck yeah.

That microphone. And your mom? Stay at home? Stay at home mom? Yes. How many brothers and sisters do you have? Three boys, one girl, including me. Three boys, one girl.

Four kids. It's too many. Are you... All right, all right, okay. All right, well, is it tough working for your dad? Is he rough on you? No, you just got to persevere. That's all I can say.

Oh, you are a writer. Thank you. Did you recently read a pamphlet on how to be a human? I love this milkman. You've literally said in the last few minutes, you need to persevere. College is where you get good. I'm starting

to see some holes in this alien. Bill Billingsley. I feel like persevere is the only big word Latinos ever learn to use. Like Cholos are like, yeah fool, you gotta persevere, homie. Hey, fool, we're gonna persevere, eh? That's, like, all we have, and I'm mad that you revealed that tonight.

Hey, this next guy's gonna persevere, dawg. That's right, dawg. I'm glad he said it. Wow. Wow. gonna persevere dog that's right dog i'm glad he said it wow so julio uh what do you persevere homie you ever take a uh you ever take a you ever take a girl back to your parents house and like uh on a date or anything like that i had a girlfriend i recently broke up but uh unfortunately within the minute, I didn't get to it, but I'll be back. Of course. Oh, you're saying... Yeah, I'm lucky I'm with my

friends, man. Those guys motivated me and stuck by me this whole night. I fucking love that. That's what friends are for. I love it. Julio Huerta, ladies and gentlemen. There he goes. There he is. His first ever time on the show. His first ever time on the show.

His first ever one-minute set. Damn, the Apollo 13 just laughed at him about something. We'll never know what it was. Okay, back to the bucket we go. No, we got word that Malcolm Hatchatchet is a little bit under the weather tonight. So, yeah. Just found out about that. He'll persevere.

Which sucks, right? That's no fun. So I pull another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Jackson Banks, everyone. Jackson Banks. Wow, back in that corner again. All the way around. Here we go.

Clap your hands one more time for Jackson Banks, everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Where my fuckboys at, huh? Any fuckboys here? Not this guy. No more, okay? I care. I care about the female orgasm, all right? Doesn't... Doesn't fuckboy sound like a superhero sidekick?

You know? Like, it's gentleman and fuckboy sound like a superhero sidekick? You know? Like, it's gentleman and fuckboy. These girls gonna put out after we save them? That's not why we do it, fuckboy. It's about altruism, damn it. Rescue her and wait for her to make the advance. Resent her if she does not. Rescue her and wait for her to make the advance.

Resent her if she does not. Anyone here been MeToo'd? Well, I have friends who are like, I'm worried about getting MeToo'd, man. Well, buddy, you have to be successful. You know, how do I know when I really made it? When I'm finally brought to justice. Okay.

Thank you. Fuck yeah. Jackson Banks is here. This is your first time on the show, right? It is, yeah. You look like a goddamn rock star. Thank you. You have all the rock star qualities of a rock star.

Yeah, I think that's what I'm really supposed to be doing. I don't know what I'm doing here. Do you know how to play music of some kind? I know you got to take over for Roseanne when she got in trouble. You got the whole show to yourself, right? You're like, Mitch, I get Hedberg. I get Hedberg. Oh, I get...

I'll die there. I don't care. Bill Billingsley is drunk. He fucks his secretary. He cheats on his wife or something. Why not? No, I hate my wife. I'm fucking my secretary.

Back to you. Thank you. So, Jackson, how long have you been doing stand-up? About six and a half years. Six and a half years. What part of Portland or Seattle were you doing it in? Fuck you.

You're from Austin. You're from Austin. Can we guess? I'm originally from Salt Lake City, Utah. Whoa. And then I was in San Francisco for a year. Milkman. Is it me or does he look like the tallest elf in Santa's workshop? You just got motherfucking

roasted. Oh, looks like the milk is boiling. So it was San Francisco. That was the northern point that I was the vibe that I was getting off you. San Fran for how long? The whole stand up part?

Only a year. And now you live here? I live here. How long ago did you move here? About five months. Oh cool. You enjoying it so far? It's pretty good.

I've been getting fucked pretty good. So you're still a fuck boy? It's good. I'm still a fuck boy. Big pardon? Did you just say he's been getting It's good. I'm still a fuckboy. Big pardon? Yeah. Did he just say he's been getting fucked pretty good? Let me explain.

So the city took my car. You wanted your car? The city took my car. Oh, did it start with the boot? It didn't. No, no boot. You must have talked to the black lady, not the white lady. Yeah, it's from earlier in the episode.

And then we took on a sub-letter at my apartment, but we realized the sub-letter had more money than me, so I got demoted at my apartment. You got demoted? Yeah, I became the sub-letter. I was usurped. What about de-liced?

De-liced? Did you get de-liced? Chroma Chris asking the tough questions. So, man. So you don't get along with your roommates, or you do? No, we're great. It was just kind of a fucked up dynamic for a while. The power play was a little weird.

What do you do for a living? I was a caregiver for a while, and now I'm at a staffing agency. Who did you do for a living? I was a caregiver for a while. And now I'm at a staffing agency. Who did you give care to? The dying. Oh, wow. Like hospice? He just said he gave care.

I want to know who he gave it to. That's it. I guess it was dying. Back to you. Basically, I gave... Yeah. Can someone get Bill Billingsley a bottle of water and a B12 shot, please? My God.

I don't think fucking your secretary again is going to help this, Bill. All right. Man, so Jackson, you're here. You've arrived. I mean, obviously, you're like a real fucking comedian and you have a cool style and a cool name and like a look and you seem like you have worldly experience.

When you say you've been getting fucked a lot, what are you talking about there? Big pardon? That's what you said, right? Yeah, I meant debased. That's what sex is to me, is debasement. Debasement.

What I mean is, it's a metaphor. Getting fucked is me having a really hard time. Oh. I'm getting fucked, man. Oh, I got you. I'm getting fucked. Got it. Yeah.

Got it. And I'm the one that's fucked up. All right, look at this guy. I picture since you, you know, since you were from San Francisco for a little part, and you know, you seem like rock stars like to fuck everything. You know what I mean? You were getting that

vibe that I was thinking maybe you were actually getting fucked more. How is your love life? I picture ding-dongs and kitty cats. Well, that doesn't... Okay. How is your love life? Good? It's good. I'm learning about, you know, just pretending that I don't care.

You know? You just gotta put out the vibe like... I think you're nailing it. Thank you. You on, like, dating apps and things like that? I was. I don't know. I just sort of... I don't know. I sort of drifted away from that. How many acoustic guitars do you own?

I know no guitars. Do a bit of rapping. Really? Yeah. Wow. I got a, yeah, yeah. I got a little hip hop album coming out. Not in my town.

What's that? Do you have anything out there that we could find on the internet or something like that? I haven't really dropped any singles yet. You want to freestyle? Give me a tempo, dude. Let's do this. You want to freestyle a little bit? Oh, shit.

Here he goes Jackson Banks Adrenaline is hot Nailing it I'm not I got no love life No fucking wife Just drive to cities Fucking me hard

And I got nowhere to go I got to go And I got to Rhyme like the bard Rhyme like the bard Baby that's right Get on these nards, baby And slip away with the goo-goo concha

I'm a monster I'm a motherfucking man With a point in Los Angeles Motherfucker Okay, okay, okay The Apollo 13 is losing their Okay. Bacon soda. Bacon soda. The Apollo 13 is losing their minds right now.

They don't like that. Let's start with the milkman. Could you possibly play a swing music track instrumental? Or something bebop? Or something perhaps red band? Why? Are you going to rap as well? I might do a little bebop or something perhaps, Red Band? Why? Are you going to rap as well? I might do a little freestyle. Oh, shit.

For the record. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. I was doing a... You're an embarrassment to the whites You make me want to fight You make me oh so mad You make me oh so sad

I look at you and I'm like wow Did I just get that milk from a cow? I'm the Milkman, baby! Wow. Fucking unbelievable. It's the Milkman. He's the Milkman. Listen to the Milkman's new rap album on SoundCloud coming soon.

We call him Lemon M. Wow. I take it that was not well received. Looks like I can have my milk and drink it too. Wow. Should I just drink, just to complete the humiliation, just drink this milk? No, don't drink the milk. No, we won't let you do that. Apollo 13.

No, milk is for winners. Wait, no, you do want him to drink the milk? I mean, they are upset. For the record, I was not doing a black voice. I rap as a baby. I'm Goo Goo Ganja. That's what they call me. Bacon soda!

Goo Goo Ganja, and he's ch call me. Goo Goo Ganja and he's chugging the milk. It's going down his lip onto his chest. Wow. Oh my God. This guy is rock and roll. Great. Now I've got to lactate from scratch to get it to the top again. Jackson Banks, you are more

of a man than I could ever be and somehow you're also sort of more of a woman than I could ever be. Make some noise for him. He had a great set. Thank you. I mean, it's not easy to rap against the Milkman. I would never do that. I don't even think he realized real rap skills there.

Now that you mention it, I've never seen the milkman and the rapper, the birdman, at the same place at the same time. Okie dokie. What do you guys think? We should go back to this bucket one more time? Wow. Okay. Make some noise for G. Gitman.

G. Gitman. Billy Bunger Gitman. G-I-T-M-A-N. And that's blacklisted. Blacklisted. Wow, that's interesting. Hmm. Some people not making it for their spots. That's got to suck.

Okay. You guys ready for your final comedian of the night? Put your hands together for Tariq Joseph. Here we go. Tariq Joseph. Here he comes. Here he comes. Here he comes. Hello, hello, hello.

Yeah, hell yeah. All right. I'm going to get real for a second. I'm sick of white dudes trying to connect with me on what they think blackness is. You guys understand what I'm saying? Like, Shut up. Hey, can y'all... It's over. It's over. I guess so, yeah.

It's not over. You have time, man. All right. Now, I'm sick of white dudes who try to connect with me on what they think blackness is. For instance, this dude named Chris. I work with this dude named Chris. Every time he sees me, he has to dance. Like, that's his thing.

Like, every time he sees me, he'll be talking to some coworkers, and he'll see me from across the room, and he'll be like, yo, yo, Tariq! Tariq! Go ahead, go ahead. I still want to hear where you're getting with all this. I'm excited to hear it. He says Tariq and then what?

Well, this is exactly what happens. He'll be talking to coworkers and he'll look over there and he'll go, yo, Tariq! Tariq! Tariq! Oh, shit. It's almost like he's saying my nigga, but with his knees. And that's the...

That was great. There you go. Fuck yeah. You got it out of there. Hell yeah. Yeah, I got nervous. My bad. It's Tariq.

Fuck yeah. Tony, can I just say something? Sure, go ahead. Bill Billingsley. I see you at mics all the time I feel like your premises are so good and you bail on them before you even let people get on board with you yeah you probably got the

best for pound for pound one joke laugh of the night right there and you stayed in the pocket and delivered I think everybody was surprised a lot of that misdirect that we were talking about earlier because I don't think any of us were expecting you to actually have punchlines

that made sense. But I even heard the same Apollo 13 people that were booing at you and making fake cat noises at one point. I believe I heard Aphrodite fake a cat noise. Like, damn. Can I finish at least?

There's a lot of black on. Black on black crime? I was going to say black on Somalian or whatever you are exactly. I knew that. I knew that. Yeah. I saw that. I saw that.

I think that's the first thing that a lot of people thought. You're like, I hate it when white people try to act black or whatever. And then we're like, what is this Indian talking about up here? That's exactly what I thought. I'm like, what the hell is this goddamn fucking pirate? This sweet, sweet Nigerian prince. Are you the one that's been emailing me, by the way? All right.

So, Tariq, this is your first time on the show, right? Yeah. You get nervous as fuck, huh? Yep. How old are you? 28. 28. Where are you from?

San Diego, California. Shout-outs to Chip and shout-outs to whoever else was from San Diego. Oh, yeah. the nervous Mexican dude. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Julio Puerta. Absolutely.

Yeah. Okay, so you're 28. What do you do for work? I'm unemployed right now. How do you survive? I don't know. What's the name of the terrorist organization that sends you survive? I don't know. What's the name of the terrorist organization that sends you

checks? I can't say. Are you where my 30 cents a day is going? For the price of a coffee cup a day. Milk, man. Alright. Well, I mean

Did you like save up a lot of money In the bitcoin or something like that Like I just don't understand How a human survives without I've been Just been couch surfing I got evicted On Halloween actually

So yeah That was scary Yeah Halloween of all the nights on Halloween, actually. So, yeah. That was scary. Yeah, Halloween of all the nights. God, that is not a treat at all. It's not. No, it's not. Yeah, man, I'm just out here, man.

So, when they kicked you out on Halloween, did a lot of people just think... I'm wearing a mask. Is that what you're about to say? I mean, it was actually going to be funnier than that. Okay. Did a lot of people think you were wearing a mask? Anyway, so...

But that's stepped on that now. I'm sorry. It's all good. Were you offended at the character on The Simpsons, the Apu character? No. No, I wasn't. Jesus. Wait, were you wearing a mask?

No, I was not. What did you do for Halloween? I went to some whack-ass party. Whack-ass party. So it was a white party. No, no. Actually, it whack-ass party. Whack-ass party? So it was a white party? No, no, actually, it was a comedian party, actually. Yeah, what was so whack about it? Did you just fart?

Yeah, I did. Oh, my God. No, I just wasn't, I don't know, just wasn't a lot of girls around. It was just kind of just lame. Oh, shucks, the worst. You go to a lot of parties where there are girls around? I don't know what's cool.

I don't know what people do. No, that's the thing. No, I don't. I don't really go out that often, but when I do, yeah. Huh. Huh. Last.

But when you do what? You don't go out very much But when you do You get down Yeah what? What do you do? Coolest party you've ever been to What was that like?

It was fun Yeah? Uh huh Can you tell us more about it? What else? I don't know. You had just won your third HBO Welterweight championship under the surname Prince Hasim Named.

That's for seven boxing fans in the room. Sorry. Sorry, all the rest of the globe. Funnest party you've ever been at. You're drinking a lot of water. Are you that nervous? What's going on there?

I barely drank that much water. You stopped your set to chug water. I don't think he realized that that is that much more water than Red Band's probably had in three weeks. He thinks that the water just comes out. No, but there was a part of your set that you actually stopped and undid your water,

chugged it. I did. You've probably chugged it about four times since you've been up here. Why do you think you get so nervous? Do your parents make you nervous? Do you have a tough dad? I don't know why that guy laughed that way over there, by the way. I was asking a genuine question. I feel like he fucked up the whole vibe in the room.

I feel like your dad looked just like you, but he carries a weapon. Like, at all times. I guess I put a lot of pressure on myself. I was just, and I wasn't even expecting to get up. You have a tough dad, don't you? No. No? What does he do?

Last, I remember, I think he does Uber now. Yeah. He used to drive a taxi, so he adjusted. Right, right, right, right. How about mom? Does she have a job? Yeah, yeah. She's a caretaker.

Beautiful woman. Yeah. Caretaker. And you were born and raised in San Diego, California, right? You said what? You were born and raised in San Diego? Yes, sir. Yeah.

Wow. How about your parents? Where were they from? They're both from this country called Eritrea. Yeah. God bless you. Apollo 13, can we confirm that that is an African country? We got all...

I just saw ten black thumbs go up. Five Apollo 13 members over there. All systems go. All right, Tariq. Tiffany Haddish is half a rich man. Oh, that's right.

That's where I know that from. Hell yeah. I remember that. Yeah. Well, there you go. Yeah. You are following in the footsteps of Tiffany Haddish. Do you know that Red Band and I are really good friends with Tiffany

and that we've actually toured. We used to do triple headlining shows, Red Band Me and Tiffany for a while in the country. We all broke our liver together. I watched the show. Now I can't get her to return a text message, but we used to be really good friends. What? Anyway, no, I we used to be really good friends. What?

Anyway, no, I'm kidding. It's not true. I can get her to return a text message. It just takes a while, and she pretends like it's her assistant when she finally responds. Okay, how does that not get a laugh in this room? You guys think I'm being serious, you fucking weirdos? I'm being sort of serious, actually.

Tariq Joseph Congratulations man Fun set There you go What time is it? Do we have to end? Oh my god Ryan J. Ebel Here we go

Here's a drawing from Ryan J. Ebel We did it Tonight was this This was tonight's Kill Tony Live Guestless A guestless episode Can you believe it?

The first ever guestless in L.A. episode out of 314 episodes. Look at this amazing drawing from Ryan J. about ladies and gentlemen. Can I just say? Unbelievable. Font and everything. Milkman, that's Jeremiah Watkins over there. Jeremiah, why don't you say some parting words to these people? Follow me on social media at JeremiahStandUp.

I'm looking for a saxophone sponsor currently for the show. Why not? Reach out. What? Saxophone sponsor? I don't know if it's a real thing, but if I will it, it might happen. I think there's going to be saxophone makers in the room. You think someone's going to hire you to play at a party or something?

No, no, no. They might send me a saxophone to rep it on Kill Tony and Jeremiah Wonders and whatnot. Absolutely. Yeah, fuck yeah. Absolutely. If anyone out there makes saxophones, I guarantee you we get hit up and you'll get a saxophone. Is that what you're asking for, a new saxophone? Well, yeah, I've had this one since third grade.

Really? Is that true? It's true. Little baby needs a new toy. Since I started drinking. Yeah. All right. Tonight, Chroma Chris was here, ladies and gentlemen. The legendary speaks softly and carries

A big stick What did you think of tonight's episode Chroma Gee golly Tony was bitching Am I right That's a 50s slang Anyways You can follow My band Draken the Swamp Rats is playing

In San Diego Hey stop laughing at me San Diego Draken the Swamp Rats, is playing in San Diego. Hey, stop laughing at me. San Diego, Draken the Swamp Rats. Follow me on Instagram. Fuck yeah. Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, ladies and gentlemen. Bill Billings. Guys, we're on fucking Jeremiah Wonders.

Yeah, that's right. The whole band is fucking Jeremiah Wonders. Yeah, that's right. The whole band is on Jeremiah Wonders. Chroma Chris and Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez are this week's guests on Jeremiah Wonders, a brand new episode. Chroma Chris talks a lot. Wow. I know. I'm fucking my secretary. Oh, God.

And I hate my wife. All right. Yeah, get the cat burglar t-shirt. Get the cat burglar t-shirt. I'm doing stand-up in Baltimore this weekend, and I'm doing stand-up New Year's Eve. I'm spending it with Jeremiah Watkins, and I am going to go out there.

We're doing one night, two shows of stand-up comedy, extended sets. And then Kill Tony goes to Phoenix, Arizona, January 26th. And some of us are headlining a stand-up show the night before that Friday night in Phoenix, Arizona. There's

Don't forget about Speedweed.com. Check them out. Gina hooks us up all the time. And if you want a MeLikePoopFart.gov shirt, there's some in there with the Kill Tony shirts in the lobby. And if you want a MeLikePoopFart.gov shirt, there's some in there with the Kill Tony shirts in the lobby. And by the way, for those of you that are wondering, I don't know how many of you have been paying attention

to any of my BetDSI picks, but I am absolutely at 100%. I've picked everything right so far. And coming up this Saturday, not this Saturday, but the Saturday after this, it's the next UFC event, December 8th, live from Toronto. And you could bat 1,000 with me.

I just won money on betdsi.com using the promo code KILL120. I won Ohio State defeating Michigan this weekend, big time. And I also made all the correct picks on the UFC. Remember to take the Pony Parlay, Joanna Janjacek, Chad LaPreece, Claudia Gedalia, and Max Holloway at the next UFC. Alright. Thank you, live audience.

Bye, everybody. Thank you. All right, we did it again. What's that? You guys actually, you played along? Yeah, why not? I love it. I was wondering about that. It was delivering.

I was like, how can we not play? That's awesome. This show is just crazy. It'd be a fun thing to present. That's awesome. Right, just to add some things in like for a ring. Yeah, you guys are awesome. We gotta think of new stuff to get you in more in the show too. Thank you.