KILL TONY - KILL TONY #319

Episode Date: January 18, 2019

STEVEO, William Montgomery, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 01/14/2018 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, deathsquad.tv. There you have every single episode available to download, and you also have video portions to this show.

Click on Tour Dates to come see us live. Not only do we do a comedy story every Monday at 8 o'clock, but we are on the road. We are coming to Phoenix January 26th. February 14th, we'll be in Ireland. February 15th, we'll be in Manchester. February 16th, we'll be in Ireland. February 15th will be in Manchester. February 16th will be in London. And March 21st will be in Philadelphia.

Now check all these different venues because we also are doing a lot of comedy shows here too. So your mileage may vary. Go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. Check out everything Golden Pony. Ryan J. Ebelt has his own website, ryanjebelt.com. He draws every episode. He also drew the Kill Tony book, posters, and everything. And that's ryanjebelt.com.

And last but not least, shopsquad.tv, the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. We have some Kill Tony shirts left, but they're going fast. We got some Death Squad shirts, mugs, and hats. Go to shopsquad.tv. All right. Here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redbeck coming to you live from the red famous Comedy Store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

Give it up for Tony Hedgehog. Hello, everybody, and welcome. Brian Redband's here. We're live. Kill Tony on a fucking Monday. You guys excited? You're at the number one live podcast in the world. Damn it.

Hell yeah. This is exciting. Hello to the many, many people watching live at YouTube right now and the official Kill Tony YouTube site streaming live globally, which is a good thing because we travel a lot. We just had an amazing sold-out show in Raleigh, North Carolina. I mean, unbelievable fun there. And we're taking it all over, like the 26th, next Saturday.

We're doing it at Stand Up Live. We're going back to Phoenix, Arizona, which is very exciting. And then February, we're going to Dublin, Ireland, Manchester, England, and London, England. That's February 14th, 15th, and 16th. Kill Tony live in Europe. And then I stay

in London for five or six nights. I'm doing Stand Up by myself at the Soho Theater, February 18th to the 23rd. And then Kill Tony's in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for the first time ever, March 21st. And then we do a whole weekend of stand-up comedy there at the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah. Next Friday, before that Kill Tony show, I'm doing a Friday night show at the new Stand Up Copper Blues Live at the Desert Ridge Marketplace. So if you're listening to the show out in the desert of Arizona, that's where I'm going to be next Friday.

They're for the Royal Rumble weekend. Should be exciting. Me and my buddies' annual pro wrestling silly event that we go to and have a blast at. Anyway. Ryan J. Ebel. What's that? Ryan J. Ebel's here. He's drawing tonight's episode while you all sit there doing less than nothing.

And a shout out to our friends over at LA Speedweed, setting everything up, feeling good. I like this room tonight. I'm excited about this, Brian. A lot of fun stuff happening. And as you can tell by our schedule, we have a lot of crazy work coming up. It hasn't always been this way. This show started off in the belly room over five years ago with just a few audience members.

Seven people, I think it was. Now we're going to Europe. That's cool. Yeah, we sold out Manchester. Yep. Yep. Manchester is already sold out. So if you live in Manchester, get tickets to London instead.

Take a little train ride. A little trolley or whatever. You know what's smart? Figuring out who you need to hire to take your business to the next level in 2019. You know what else is smart? Starting the new year off strong by going to

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experience. That's why ZipRecruiter is rated number one by employers in the U.S. This rating comes from the hiring site Trustpilot with over 1,000 reviews, Tony. Yeah, you're out of breath from reading things. Trustpilot. And right now, our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free

at this exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter.com slash KillTony. If you love this show, show your support to it and ZipRecruiter by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash K-I-L-L-T-O-N-Y. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash KillTony. ZipRecruiter.com slash K-I-L-L-T-O-N-Y. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Kill Tony. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. And we're in.

You guys ready to start this episode? Let's do this. Let's get it going. Every single week, I have one of my funniest friends on this show. This guy's done the show a few times. He's an amazing stand-up comedian, which is crazy, because I knew him. I was a huge fan growing up as a kid from his

legendary performances on all the Jackass movies and Wild Boys. And now to see that he's evolved into one of our favorite guests on this show. So exciting. Here he is. It's the great and powerful Steve-O. He's back. I love it.

What's up, buddy? I'm here with my girl. Yeah. I think I'm going to get some Zip-A-Cooter tonight. Slip into that zip-zip. You know what I'm saying? She just sat there and said said did he say zipper cooter

yeah it's the smartest way to hire welcome back Steve-O I'm so pumped that you're here you are a full time stand up comedian now you still do some stunts here and there. Oh, my God.

Do I do stunts? He just showed me something that he just did. That was the most craziest shit I've ever seen. And that's a part of your stand-up act, Merrill. Well, you see, my worlds have merged. You know, like, I started doing just stand-up. And then I started doing stand-up where I would edit the footage in after the fact. And now I put together a whole routine of what I call my bucket list,

these elusive, outrageous, dangerous, illegal stunts that were just too gnarly to ever happen. Now I have a whole act that sort of takes you through the list, and after each bit, I screen it in the venue. So I had some multimedia fucking world tour. It's Steve-O's Bucket List tour. What I just showed him was the footage of me butt naked in an airplane with a tandem skydive instructor strapped to my back.

And I was jacking off and straight up blew a load on my way out of the airplane. Wow. I call it skyjacking. I love that. Yeah. That's where the bar is at these days. Holy shit. And I saw the uncensored version.

When you play that live, it's the whole version. You can't censor skyjacking, pal. Well, another fun... Where can people get tickets at? Stevo.com? Stevo.com. That's right. I'll be in Denver this weekend.

Denver Improv. The weekend after that, Virginia. Then I got a little break before the Just for Laughs Festival in Vancouver. Oh, very cool. That's always fun. I love Vancouver. You know what else I love? Is the band that we have on this show. Oh, very cool. That's always a fun. I love Vancouver. You know what else I love? Is the band that we have on this show. Oh, me too.

They're wild and crazy too. They can do a lot of things. High kicking, a lot of crazy stuff. Every single week they commit to being different characters. I never know what they're going to be. Nobody ever knows. Sometimes they're

accountants. Sometimes they're, what have they been? What are some of our favorites? Game to be. Nobody ever knows. Sometimes they're accountants. Sometimes they're – what have they been? What are some of our favorites? Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones, yeah. Wine Tasters, I remember. Yep, yep. It's always something.

Sometimes it's something new. Sometimes it's one of the legendary characters that we've seen before. Jeremiah, when we were in Raleigh on Thursday, he brought back the Cap Burglar. That crowd went crazy. That was a crazy episode. I saw that on Twitter, man in Raleigh on Thursday. He brought back the Cap Burglar. That crowd went crazy. That was a crazy episode. I saw that on Twitter, man. Raleigh, good nights. Oh, my God.

Is it a fun club? It's a must. It's a must go to club. Man, congratulations. I think that's the mark of success when a podcast starts broadcasting from various venues around the world. Yeah. We're going to London and Manchester and Ireland. Oh, well, tickle my pickle.

I can't believe it. So let's see what the band is tonight. They're the best damn band in the land. It's the Kill Tony Band. Jeremiah Watkins, Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, and Chroma Chris. Here we go. I don't recognize the music.

Oh! Wow. Look at this. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Look at this. They're all gay men tonight. No, I'm kidding. They're construction gay men tonight. No, I'm kidding.

They're construction workers, everybody. Am I right, Jeremiah? Name's Baloney Pete. Baloney Pete. Because my wife asked me, baloney sandwiches every day. Hey, Baloney Pete. I like that. Jeremiah's Baloney Pete.

Full construction. And a little behind the curtain, was that we built this city? Because that's what we sent. Didn't sound like it at all. It didn't sound like it at all. So it sounds like we're part of YMCA or something like that. I don't know. We built this city on rock and roll.

We have Jeremiah as a... Baloney Pete. Oh, Baloney Pete. Let me write that down. What's for? And Chroma Chris is here and then we have Joelberg back there who I mean pretty

much looks like he's about to start building that wall. Job's a job, dude. What's your name? My name is Jonathan Rodriguez. I'm on medical leave right now. I can't operate heavy machinery thanks to LA Speedweed.

Oh, there you go. Another Speedweed drop there. I fucking like it. All right. Well, we're in. Steve-O's about to leave, I do believe. He's just decided to leave right now. He thought that was it.

The band comes out, and that's the end of the podcast. No, I was just checking out the technical equipment that Redman did. One of the cool things that I've noticed about you is that you're always interested in that stuff. And you know how to edit actual things. Yeah, when we went to your house, you were just in the Final Cut Pro just doing all this. Not Premiere. Premiere. But the thing is, I just...

Whoa. Yeah. I just ordered a camper van, and my intention is to have a camper van that operates as a traveling podcast studio, and I'm intrigued. Jesus. Jonathan, what the fuck? We went from jackass to jackhammers.

All right. Whoa. All right, Joel Burke. I think we can all say build that firewall, you know what I'm saying? That's a great idea, man, having a traveling podcast studio. Right. I mean, I think it's fucking great, man.

That looks like small space. Yeah, I'd take this all on the road on a carry-on. Yeah, that looks like fucking really tiny shit. But in any case, let's get it going. Let's get it going, ladies and gentlemen. We have the construction workers, Steve-O, and I have a bucket filled with people's names. Sometimes it's someone trying stand-up for the first time ever.

Sometimes it's one of the veterans that we've learned and know on the show. You never know what's going to happen, but you get an uninterrupted 60 seconds. If I pull your name out, you know your 60 seconds is up and you hear the sound of a kitten. That means wrap it up then, or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear.

You guys ready to start this thing or what? We're live. It's Kill Tony. It's happening. That's it. No more buttons to press there. Here we go. And our first performer tonight getting an uninterrupted 60 seconds

goes by the name of Kevin Klattman. It's a new name. Kevin Klattman. Hey, I believe I can touch the sky. Think about it every night and night. Hey. One more time for Kevin Klattman, everybody. One more time for Kevin Klapman, everybody. Thanks. How are you doing? A lot of people have this thing called gaydar. I can tell when a girl is a lesbian because they're, in general, pretty nice to me.

Thank you. Pretty nice to me. Thank you. Thank you. If I've learned anything from the Bible, it's that hotel drawers never have anything good in them. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I like to go to college parties so I can call the cops,

so I can warn everyone, so I can be the hero. I have a 100% record Oh that's it Sorry Go ahead You have a 100% record of Of talking people down From ledges

That's only if you don't Account for how they got down Kevin Klattman Wow Wow Very very funny What a great way to kick off the show Very hard to get that many hard laughs in a minute

This is your first time on the show Oh yeah You can pull the mic up by the way Oh do you know how? He's okay, he's okay Brian It's exercise for me Yeah He's okay. He's okay, Brian. It's exercise for me. Yeah, he's leaning down.

He's being funny. It's being funny. Wow, there you go. All right, I guess my castmates insist that you fix the microphone. They don't like anything different or original on this show. That's all right. Everybody must do everything the same way

even if they're getting laughs. There you go. So what's your name again? Kevin. Kevin. Okay, Kevin. Kevin, I want you to act normal now. I'm trying to figure out, like, if something's wrong with you or if this is how you are.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you're hilarious. But should I feel bad for you, or is this just like your shtick? What do you think would be better for my stand-up? I would say this. Acting normal. There's something wrong with me. Okay.

I don't know. I thought you did. I don't think you need to act like you have a real. Yep. Okay. Good, man. Kevin, how long have you been doing stand-up? Five years now.

From where? Denver, Colorado. Denver, Colorado. That makes sense. Big comedy town. They breed a lot of the best, a lot of the comedians nowadays who work with Wendy out there at the Comedy Works. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course you do. It's a big club there.

Yeah. Baloney P, you okay? Yeah, Baloney P has a question. Yeah, go ahead, Baloney P. Hey, Kevin, every time you have an orgasm, you're like, thank you. Good question. Yeah. Hell yeah.

Kevin, how old are you? My roommates wonder what's going on when I do that. How old? 24. 24 years old. I fucking love it. So you started at what? 19.

Yeah, 19. That is so cool. What did your parents think about that? You starting comedy at 19. You dropped out of college? Did you finish? I did finish, yeah. I finished college.

What did you get a degree in? Marketing. I thought I'd have a knack for sales. What are you selling? What? Have you ever sold anything? I worked at Target Hell yeah, dude

I sold the first red card once And I got a gift card to the Starbucks in the Target And that's not really that impressive on a resume, it turns out That's true It's not that impressive on a resume So what's it like being 20? How long have you lived in L.A.? A week.

A week? Yeah, yeah. You live here now? Did you just move here? Yeah, a week ago. Wow. Wow. This is so cool.

Yeah, I know. This is always exciting. Yeah. Look at you. Is this your first time signing up for Kill Tony? No, I did last week, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, cool.

Look at you. Yeah. Your luck's already in your favor. What's your living situation? I always like to ask people when they first move out here because it's such a tough city to... Oh, it's excellent. I'll be spending all my savings on my first rental payment and then... Maybe lice shampoo.

Yeah, I know. Dude, what's a good place for that? He was scratching his hair for a moment, for those of you wondering. Since he's been on stage. Can we get a grain to straighten this guy's back out? So is that true? You're really going to run out of savings

your first month? Or is it a ballpark? Yeah, probably. Do you have any money that I could... Nope. You live by yourself? No, I have a roommate. He's like an actor or whatever. He's from Australia, if you know where that is. That's weird, man.

Where'd you find an actor around here? Yeah, I know. Yeah, he was in L.A. I know. Yeah, he was in L.A. Tell us something about the real Kevin Clapman, like something we would find interesting, something, a hobby or something that you like to do when you're not doing stand-up.

I'm guessing he's got a huge cock. Yeah, for sure, for sure. He has that, like, Pat Reagan big dick energy. What's a big size? I don't know. They say feet and nose is an indicator. I just get a big cock vibe from you. You know what? Not only do I think this guy has a giant dick, I also think that he has a lot of pubes as well.

I feel like you have a gigantic bush. And really long balls, like Ari Shaffir balls. Wait, wait, what's happening? Oh, clean shaver. Wow, look at that. God damn. Yeah, you should have seen what I was packing. It was a real afro.

Before I did construction, I did landscaping. Oh, Jonathan Rodriguez. What was that answer about you, Kevin Klapman, when not doing stand-up? Oh, I play golf. I'm a scratch handicap golfer. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're a top-notch, basically level golfer.

Oh, yeah. I'm definitely on the notches. Hell, yeah. I fucking like your style, Kevin. And on the notches. Hell yeah. I fucking like your style. And on the spectrum. My doctor said I was off the charts, so I couldn't tell if they were kidding, but yeah. Well, Kevin, I mean, you know, just fucking keep doing what you're doing, dude. You're doing it, man.

You're funny. Your responses are funny. Everything about you is funny. So funny that it's making, I feel feel like some people very uncomfortable up here uh oh sorry is this yeah yeah all right uh you too by the way thanks kevin thank you and there you go the show has started with kevin klattman everyone he's on twitter at kevinapman. That's K-L-A-T-M-A-N. I believe I can touch the sky.

Quick question. Yeah, go ahead. Quick question. I see that, I mean, this room has just exploded. I mean, it's fucking filled main room. I mean, the rate of ascension, I mean, it's fucking filled main room. I mean, the rate of ascension, I mean, the

meteoric rise of this show, the way that it's blowing up, you're traveling the fucking world now. Is that does that mean that the level of performances we're seeing are getting better? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't let Kevin Klattman confuse

you. How many of you are fans of this show because you like to watch comedians do good? How many of you are fans of this show because you like to watch comedians bomb? See that? Wow, angry crowd today. For a Monday night at 8.30, those are pretty big responses right there.

All right. Rainy day. By the way, thanks to everyone here that's made it tonight for coming out on this extremely rainy, full Los Angeles day. I know a lot of you had the fucking, a lot of you had your Netflix calling you from across the room.

And you made the right bandersnatch decision in coming here tonight. Pulled another name out of the bucket. Your next comedian goes by the name of Jacob Calley. Jacob Calley. Oh, wow. Right there. I've heard this guy.

Jacob Calley, ladies and gentlemen. So Hurricane Harvey, Houston, Texas, there was a large spike in newborns named Harvey. Like why would you name your kid after a natural catastrophe that cost billions of dollars? It's like why would you name your kid, you know, the Trump administration? So no, you – so, you know, you're holding your baby. You're like, oh, what a cute little baby. It's like, yeah, he's a Harvey baby.

It's like, Weinstein's kid? It's like, no, from the hurricane. You know, and it's like, why would you name your kid after the O.J. Simpson's glove? Or, like, one of the Kool-Aid flavors from the Jonestown Massacre. It's like, hey, Great Kool-Aid. Oh, yeah. It's like, no. Oh, no.

You know, it's like, where do you go to extrapolate to name your kids after these catastrophes? It's like, how do you explain that? And you're like, hey, how did you name, like, how did you come up with your name? He's like, well, did you... Okay, go ahead. I want to hear what all this buildup's about. Go ahead. Okay, so I got my name.

So United 93. You heard of 9-11, right? All right, all right, wow. Oh, my God. Well, that's it. Jacob Calley giving these people what they wanted all along. Steve-O, does this answer your question? I think so.

Jacob Calley. I want to maybe pull the curtain a little bit. I'm familiar with this guy. Oh. Going way, way back, right? Is he the guy that was strapped to your back while you came while jumping out of an airplane? Oh, no.

And hopefully this isn't wrong to say, but many, many years ago when I was even just kind of first becoming known, this guy emerged as a real sort of jackass. One of the kids that didn't listen to the warning. Really? He had his own little stunt deal.

What the hell? The stunt crew. You can still buy it in skate shops in Houston. That's great. Now, recently, I was both shocked, appalled, even kind of offended by this. Like, I don't know. I went out to South Africa to take on trophy hunters and poachers, right?

Because I'm a big-time animal rights activist. Yeah. Right. activist yeah right so we we uh we teamed up with this um uh animal rights organization and cops to go arrest turtle poachers right the cops found out that steve o was involved and they backed out of the sting the animal rights people kept the sting on so when we actually went on the sting it was up to me and my bumbling camera crew to arrest poachers in africa with our bare hands which is one of the most hilarious things i've ever been involved in but i heard from jacob here and he said hey man i want you to be a part of this documentary i'm working on i'm hanging out with poachers and he's got like a picture of him buddied up with a guy holding a rhino horn

that was cut off. And I was like, what the fuck was that? And am I mistaken? That was you? Yeah, so in 2015, I started a... No, I'm making a movie. It's an odd way

to take on poachers to be like, yeah, hey, bro, nice, you know. So I just go undercover. I live – actually, I do literally live with poachers. I sleep in their homes. And they – it's the – I find it's a unique way of finding out why they're doing what they're doing. Bologna Pete? Yeah.

You want to know how this guy likes his eggs? Boat story. Hey! Baloney Pete with a little construction worker joke out of nowhere. I feel like this sounds like an episode of Intervention, just without the Intervention, just like hell and shitty bad stuff.

What are you working towards when you're living with these poachers? What's the end game? Yeah, what's what are you working towards when you're uh living with these poachers like what's the end game yeah what's your ang what's your perspective on this how long you've been doing this for three years oh do these poachers get you all horned up sorry what i've no what i've what i've learned is that a lot of these operations whenever the poachers get caught they just get bought out right here by the magistrate. The police are just like, actually, just give me money, and you can go off.

So in South Africa, crime does pay, whether you think they're the good guy or the bad guy. And that's where my film comes in, where it's not always the poacher's fault because they're just being exploited because they live in poverty. Well, you know what? I think one day I'm excited to be able to watch this film

in skateboard shops in Houston. Thanks. And I'll say this, and I hope you haven't felt attacked. I was confused. I just thought, what the fuck is this? And I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and I just hope that your animal rights activism is better than your stand-up.

Jacob, is that the first time you've ever your stand-up. Jacob, is that the first time you've ever done stand-up? I haven't done stand-up in ten years. Ten years? This is your big return. This is actually my first time. Where'd you do it ten years ago? In Houston. Ah, how'd that go? At the skate shop.

Everything he does. No, I opened up for a new hamburger and then there was just like a one off I just stopped Wow there you go I just want to know if Brian's sad that that's where all his Rhino boner pills are coming from Are you sad?

I'm not sad because I got 4hims.com That's right Promo code kill Tony Any crazy stuff ever happen when you're staying with these Poachers you ever wake up and they're standing over your bed or you wake up and you're standing over their bed or I had a camera guy follow me

filming my work and I had a meeting with a kingpin and when I came back my car was gone and I learned that my cameraman stole my car and left back to Cape Town and took my car with my passport, my wallet, my phone, and I had to hitchhike back to Joburg.

Joburg? He's right here. Oh, hey. Yeah, I got left out in the bush. His big bush? Yeah, me too, dude. So, I mean, if we're still on the subject, like you're gathering evidence against these guys, and when are you going to, when's the big sting?

When are they going down? I leave back to South Africa on the 10th of February. Hopefully they're not big fans of Kill Tony. I hope not. Oh, God. Only if Tony is a rhino. Anyway. All right, Jacob.

But, yeah, and again, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I'll presume that you're doing it for the right reasons, and so thank you, and it's good to see you. Hell, yeah. Yeah, you too. Jacob, let me ask you one more question. What made you want to come back from your 10-year hiatus here tonight? I was

just Googling what's going on and, you know, I saw Joel was here and, you know, I was Kill Tony and Steve-O, of course, and I was like, yeah. So I went to Mel's Diner, wrote some shit. Wow. I mean, that is just the most honest answer I've ever heard in my entire life. I Googled

it, went to Mel's beforehand. All right. Baloney Pete, do you have something? My helmet was just itching. Oh, okay. All right, there he goes. Jacob Calley, everyone. Thank you.

He's on Instagram at Jacob Calley, C-A-L-L-E. Here we go. Back to the bucket we go. That's cool that that happened. Like, I really wonder if he's lying to us right now. Oh, I mean, dude, this photo of, like, he's just like, yeah, with his bro. And it took me a while to figure out what the fuck they were holding. And then I was like, holy shit, that's a fucking rhino horn.

And I was just like, I had this just like, bleh. It was just all of this emotion. And, uh, and so I'm, I'm glad that I got to bring it up and, uh, you know, hopefully, um, good things are coming as a result of that undercover operation. Where were you when they, uh, when you did a Miller time where they poured that, that was India, right? That was in India. Correct. Yeah.

That's my favorite. That guy was in the news. This was the Guinness World Record guy with the longest fingernails. Almost like the poster boy of the Guinness Book of World Records. Recently, he cut off his fingernails. One of my stunts for Jackass

was they poured Miller High Life down his fingernails and into my mouth. It's my favorite stunt ever. Like a matchbox car. You have to look that up. That's jackass, what is that, 2.5 or something? Something like that, yeah. Boy, do I have some new stuff for you to check out.

Oh, I can't wait. We're not used to those kind of nails. Okay, pulled another name out of the bucket. Anything can happen. Make some noise for Brandon Jordan. Uninterrupted 60 seconds to Brandon Jordan. Here he comes. Here he is.

Live in the flesh. What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody? What's up, man? I just got back to L.A. I was going home to visit Detroit. That's where I'm from. Anybody ever been to Detroit? What y'all cheering for?

It's like 17 degrees out there, man. Hated that shit. When I got there, though, I ended up running into one of my ex-girlfriends. And I understand this, fellas. Why is it that when a woman don't mess with you no more, everything you do from now on is little to them? Ransom's ex-girlfriend, you know, we talking. She's like, well, Brandon, I heard about, you know, about you. Heard about the little things you got going on.

Heard about the little competition you won. Little $10,000. Heard about the little TV role that you got coming on TV. Oh, you doing little things with yourself. I'm like, all right, bitch, okay, that's cool. That's all right. But when a woman loves you, she'll make it times 10 to everybody no matter what you're doing. I'm like, okay, what's up with you, girl?

She's like, nothing. My baby daddy, he doing good things now. He only went to jail two times this year. Oh, shit. There we go. All right. Brandon Jordan. Was there an end to that?

Were you getting it? Was there something coming? You want to finish it? Okay, okay, okay. You know it's a one-minute spot, though, right? Yeah, I know. Brandon Jordan. That was, if I could say so myself That was a very fast minute I looked over and I couldn't believe it

But that's regulation That's a regulation minute It's a little minute Something I found interesting Was your Method there You talked about going to Detroit. You gave us a weather report,

talked about how Detroit, which is north and equal to the Great Lakes, it's basically southern Canada. And you told us that... Yeah, it is. And you told us that it is... We are in January, and the weather is cold there right now.

Yes, it's very cold. And then we got into the humility. Very cold. Yeah. Yes, exactly. And you segued that into, since you were home and it was so cold, you saw your ex-girlfriend, and you bragged about every accomplishment you've ever done before. What did you win $10,000 for?

That was my next question. Oh, for a competition. What kind of competition? A comedy competition. A comedy competition. Yeah, where's this comedy competition? Because I'm going to go win a billion dollars. If you won $10,000, I'm about to put that bitch out of business.

Jeremiah Bologna Pete. What show do you have coming out? Oh, no, that's just made up. Okay, got it. We're still working on that. All right, good. Where was this comedy competition? Amir?

Why would he pay himself $10,000? I wish I could have paid myself $10,000. You know, I'll tell you, the way that he walked up to the mic, I felt like he really exuded confidence. I saw the way he's working with the mic stand. Like he knows how a mic stand works. Honestly, honestly, honestly, it really, when he got to that mic stand and started making the adjustments,

I wished he just pulled a Kevin Klapman and just sort of hunched down. It was so annoying, that seven seconds of... I only said he looked confident walking up to it. Once he got to the thing, it was a disaster. You got to go hard left grip and turn that bitch, just whatever it takes. So you talked about what you've done. You know what? I'm going to force an answer out of this one.

All three of us have asked it. I'm going to force an answer. Where was this comedy competition for $10,000? It was at the skate shop in Houston. You just got jackhammered Brandon waiting for us to change the subject again But I'm gonna stick with it No I'm kidding $10,000 comedy competition

Where was that at? It was in Canada but it wasn't $10,000 That's just extreme for the joke. It was in Canada. That was free French fries. How did this ex-girlfriend that you ran into in Detroit find out all these lies about you? Hey, Brandon, I heard you won $10,000. You got a new show coming out.

You know how to fly airplanes now. You got a new show coming out. You know how to fly airplanes now. So, Brandon, interesting. How long have you been on stand-up? 12 years now. 12 years? Yes.

How old is he? Hey, be nice, guys. Comedians are cackling at that. It's okay. Hey, it might be a fucking brand new minute that he wrote today, so stop being haters, you pussies. No, you won. Don't tell me that you've been doing those jokes for 12 years.

It's my closer. Well, actually, Tony, those are the jokes I did in that made-up comedy competition. Is that a weird amount of years for a black guy? You said what? 12 years. Oh, wow said what? 12 years. Oh, wow. Yeah, 12 years. He's a construction worker.

It's locker room talk, people. It's lunchtime. So, Brandon, 12 years you've been doing this. How long have you been in L.A.? It's about to be a year next month. A year next month. Hey, you got a nice butt. Whoa, that's a cat call. That's a cat call from Baloney Pete.

Brandon, how does that make you feel, Baloney Pete telling you that you have a nice butt? Do you believe him? I guess I got to believe him. I got a nice butt. Hell yeah. Hey, baloney Pete needs some mayonnaise. You straight on that. Oh, my God. All right, baloney Pete.

I'm kidding. That's gay. That's gay. He's a real construction worker, ladies and gentlemen. I'm kidding. That's gay. construction worker, ladies and gentlemen. I'm kidding.

That's gay. That's my favorite four-word succession I've ever heard on this show. Just kidding. That's gay. Wow. So, Brandon, 12 years. When did you... Did you really go to Detroit over the holidays? Yeah.

I don't know whether to believe you at all anymore. How long did you spend in Detroit? Just a couple days, because that's why I'm going back on Wednesday to spend a full week. That's a lot of flying. Brandon, I have some bad news for you. We just canceled your return flight

to Los Angeles. You actually have to stay there now after that set. What is that? I'm just kidding. So 12 years. What is something, what is your favorite accomplishment in 12 years of stand-up?

My favorite accomplishment? Okay, Brian. It's opening up for Tony Braxton. You opened up for Tony Braxton? Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, in my ass. What?

Are you slowly getting gayer and gayer, baloney people? Shut up. That's gay, man. Well, Brandon Jordan. Where did you get to open up for Tony Braxton? He also kept the door for her at Starbucks. Do you wish you could undo your set? No Tony Braxton fans here, huh?

That's a Tony Braxton reference. Unbreak my heart, you idiots! Baloney Pete! Now that's gay. I dabble. Brandon, you know, sometimes some sets are better than others. So this was a – Oh, this is a horrible set.

Yeah, this was clearly a rough one. Tell us something interesting about yourself, like a redeeming quality, like something that will make us like you more. I don't know. I don't know. Ask more? I don't know. I don't know. Ask me. I don't know. What's the nicest thing you've ever done for another human being or a puppy or an animal?

Oh, nicest thing I've ever done? Yeah. Shit, I help people all the time. You donated imaginary $10,000 To the Salvation Army Nah I donated money before But nah I ain't got that type of money What did you donate money to before?

What do you do for a living? I'm a retail manager for Chic Shoes For Chic Shoes Chic Shoes S-H-I-E-K-H What do you say? They're shoes, right? Yeah.

Shoe story, yeah. Okay. Okay, so what kind of shoes are those? These are Kobe AD's Knicks. How about that? Try to sell us those shoes. Try to sell you these shoes? I don't do that at work.

Look at themselves, pal. Look at them. All right. Well, there you go. That's another fun episode of Married with Children. We'll be right back. I think we need to build up the conversation

skills here. What was that, Baloney Pete? Never mind the podcast listeners will love it. Wow. His entire method of talking just changed. 40 minutes into an episode. All right, Brandon. Well, yep.

No, go ahead. You've been on the show a couple times before, right? This is my third time. Third time. Hell yeah. There you go. You know, working it out, trying to make it happen. It's not an easy thing.

Some sets are better than others. Yeah, of course. We'll see you others. We'll see you again next time. Brandon Jordan, everyone. He's on Instagram, a comedian, Brandon Jordan. You want to pick one? Steve-O's into the bucket. I'm so fucking pissed, man. I think that whole section of the show

just sucked all the funny out of everything. Fuck. A little interesting thing there is it always goes back to the backbone of this show is that honesty is always funny. I think we could sort of... We could all be honest that that wasn't funny. Yes, it didn't...

Nothing he said really felt real in the 60 seconds. It felt out of place. Plus, even if it was real and if it was funny, it'd be tough to hear it with all the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of mic adjustment. All right, here we go. Steve-O pulled another name out of the bucket.

Am I okay to just go ahead and say our next comedian is Lawrence? There you go. Lawrence. Here we go. One word name. It's Lawrence. He's jumping over a table. In your head.

Wow. I was not thinking that there was a woman coming. In your head. Zombie. One more time for Lawrence, everyone. So I used to work in retail, and my boss would tell me that sometimes he would go out the back in the office and smoke crack.

And then other times at work, he would go out the back in the office and smoke crack. Snoop Dogg's newest song says, if you breathing, you achieving. Hey, Snoop Dogg, newest song says, if you breathe in, you achieve in. Hey, Snoop Dogg, aim fucking higher, mate. No, we don't, just breathe in. Okay, cool. I get a lot of short guys coming up to me and they tap me on the shoulder and they go,

excuse me, my last girlfriend was actually six foot one. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. God, I feel so foolish. Please take your pants off. My friend's concerned that people think he's gay. And I'm like, sorry, man, I can't hear you with that dick in your mouth. Fuck yeah This is another episode of Be careful what you wish for

Hell yeah Lawrence You've been on the show I didn't hear what you said What did you say? You'll hear the podcast You can go back You can re-listen to it

I loved your voice but now you're set there you go so you've been on this show before yeah right it says underneath Lawrence that your twitter handle is Sarah Lawrence why know Sarah tonight well I was talking to a couple of the guys at the back,

and a lot of the times people get called when they only have one name. So I was like, I'm going to do Lawrence tonight. And then everyone was like, do it. And that's a good story. That makes no sense whatsoever. A lot of people who get called only have one name. Like Aphrodite or like Golden Child

or that guy with the weird shirt. So there is a, let me understand this theory correctly, that there is a rumor going around amongst the comedians that my hand magically gravitates more towards, in a bucket filled with names, more towards a one-word name. Yeah, you're correct. Also, Golden Child is two words. Whoa, Chroma Chris dropping knowledge over there.

On Instagram, it's one word. Whoa. She's not here, but you guys know who I'm talking about. You look like a hot lesbian Kurt Cobain. Hey. Baloney Pete is correct about that. She does look like a hot lesbian Kurt Cobain

It was raining and I walked here You know Yeah Of course you did So Sarah What were you saying What did you say at the end of the Snoop thing I couldn't understand you

Thick immigrant accent You want me to do an American accent? No, that's not what I said. Great, great, great. Okay, so in Snoop Dogg's newest song, he says, if you breathe in, you achieve it. Yeah, the next part is what I couldn't understand. I said, hey, Snoop Dogg, aim fucking higher.

Aim fucking higher. Okay, so if you're saying, if all you need to be achieving in life is fucking breathing, you're not aiming very high, are you? I'm saying maybe let's have some goals, some hopes and dreams, not just breathing or else. Do you know?

I mean... I think that there is potential. There's potential starting out with that. It's killed at the open mic in Hollywood. You need a new punchline for that one. You will be great at TED Talks. I mean, really, Sarah, the catch there is that, you know, you're telling Snoop to aim higher.

You're putting it on him, but he's worth like half a billion dollars. He's doing better than me, yeah. Doing a little bit better than me. He runs a bunch of companies. He works continuously, super creative. Yeah. So at the end of that joke, you telling Snoop to aim higher, he's basically like,

bitch, you on a podcast. You know what I mean? And I'm friends with Snoop. We all are. I'm just saying that that's my guess, what he would say. Sorry, Snoop. If you're listening. He's not listening. He's not listening. He's running companies.

He took your advice and he aimed higher than... Sarah, tell us more about you. Do you have a job? I have a job. I have a company. You want to hear another rumor? Stop pointing at me like that. You have a job.

Go ahead. I run a company. I run an events company, if you remember from last time. You run an events company. It was run a company I run an events company if you remember from last time You run an events company It was like a party Bartending How's that going? Business a booming? No, I mean there's like nothing going on

In December, January, February Oscars, Academy Awards Super Bowl Christmas New Year's My birthday Martin Luther King Awards. Super Bowl. Christmas. New Year's Eve. My birthday. Martin Luther King's day next Monday. Bologna Pee Day.

Seems like you gotta aim higher, Sarah. Yeah! Sorry, there's a glass ceiling. So, Sarah, what you been doing with all the off time? Clearly you've been sprinting through thrift stores at a fast pace. You just have thrift clothes hanging off of you.

I found this rolled up in the floor in my office, and I thought, oh, it's raining perfect. And I was going to... You have an office? For a business that's been out of operation for three months? By city code, a closet does not count as an office. Listen, I'm doing

the deals. I'm just not doing the events. And if I want to... I'm not going to... If I want to... Go ahead. Whatever you don't want to do, do it. It's going to help you. So the people like the Oscars and all that,

they have like staff all the time, but they don't want to spend any money. Right. And they can't afford me. Whoa. You know what I'm saying? Maybe you're too expensive. So that's why I didn't... And everyone now everybody hates me. Maybe put your price down too expensive. So that's why I never went down to everybody's house.

Maybe put your price down a little. Well, no, because I only get high-end clients. You got no clients now, so maybe it's a price thing. Yeah. It's like business 101. Jesus. Yeah, business 101, a class that... Hey, man, this young lady is achieving.

Yeah, for sure I know a guy who just won $10,000 Can he afford you? Wait, what? I know a guy who just won $10,000 Can he afford you? Answer the question Moving on, back to you in the studio, Tony

Thank you, thank you, Joel You're originally from Australia? Whoa, Jesus Christ Man, you knew the answer to that one How long have you been in America? Four years You seem like someone that's on a five-year visa And you just realized that you can't say that

Five, four, three. This is some weird Australian countdown going on. Four and a half years going on. Four and a half years. How long have you been here for four and a half years? Mentally, three years. All right. Great.

Doesn't really matter. Sarah, what do you do when you're not working or doing stand-up comedy? What do you do for fun? There's another rumor that's going around. Not rumor, but none of us do anything but comedy. So we're all out there like, what should we say? We do pottery or fucking skydiving or something. Everybody just does comedy. It's 9 o'clock on a Monday.

Pottery and skydiving is actually one of Steve-O's next stunts. He's going to come while making pottery and skydiving is actually one of Steve-O's next stunts. He's going to come while making pottery and skydiving. He's trying to aim higher, you know what I mean? I heard you hang out with Silent Bob. So you're not doing pottery, you're not skydiving. What is an answer, though? There's got to be something that you do with guilty pleasure.

All of us do is comedy all fucking night. I don't know who you're labeling yourself with. All the people, guys. Can you back me up, please? Thank you. I mean, that's not really entirely true. So, like, take me through your day today. What did you do fucking today?

What time did you wake up? You look like Helen Hunt after the twist that took everything. Goddamn. Baloney Pete is fucking on fire right now. That's a visual that everyone gets. It's amazing. We are up to code. So what time did you wake up today?

Like 10.30. And then what? I sent some emails. You jumped right out of bed as time did you wake up today? Like 10.30. And then what did you do? Sent some emails. Jumped right out of bed as soon as you woke up? No. Just started throwing on shit you saw laying around? No. Woke up, did some emails, like went to the gym, got some food, took the dog for a walk,

all that kind of shit. What kind of dog do you have? A dingo? Chocolate lab, Ridge ridgeback pointer mix. It's not a ridgeback pointer. Is that an indoor dog or do you keep them out back? That was great. I liked it.

I liked it. Okay. Well, that's fun. How many crocodiles have you hunted? Alright. So you that's fun. How many crocodiles have you hunted? All right. So you made it through. What workout did you do at the gym today? I just did elliptical.

The Uma Thurman stuntwoman special? I just did the elliptical. If you remember, I have a broken pelvis. You broke your pelvis? Yeah, you remember that? No, I don't remember that. You weren't there. From basketball, back in the...

We've talked about this on Kill Tony before? Maybe not, actually, now that I think of it. I don't think so. I think I would remember a broken pelvis. On a basketball court? Yeah. Wow, what happened there? Oh, because I did a joke about it.

Okay, so I pulled my adductor and it fractured my pubic bone. Uh-huh. You're not allowed to say the word pubic on this show. It's gross, isn't it? Super gross. No, I'm kidding. You get injections in there sometimes. That sounds weird.

So let me ask you this. You're a rather tall woman, and now that I know that you play basketball so hard that you broke your pelvic bone, I'm sort of interested. Are you straight? Yeah. Oh, okay. I know that you play basketball so hard that you broke your pelvic bone. I'm sort of interested. Are you straight? Yeah.

Oh, okay. You would make one hell of a lesbian. I know. You would just. There's a super. She's not here. She's super lesbian. Super lesbian? Super lesbian.

Wow. What kind of weird superhero is that? Oh, my God. It's super lesbian. She's going to eat you alive. It's scissor time. Oh my god, I think super lesbian's under my bed. Do you smell something fishy?

Super lesbian. Super lesbian. Do you have anything to say? Cat's got my tongue. Hey. Super lesbian. It's funny because I actually dressed up tonight. I was like, I'm going to put on something nice to go to Kill Tony.

Really? Yeah. This is nice? All of the outfits that the bad guys wear in Home Alone? This is what you consider to be nice? All right, Sarah. Do you want it on my shoes? Anyways, the story was a super lesbian chick came up to me after a mic,

and she goes, I love your pants. Where did you get them from? And I was like, oh, that kills me, because I obviously look like a massive lesbian. Right. Great. If the lesbian likes your pants, you're doing something wrong. Exactly.

All right. Let's doing something wrong. Exactly. All right. Let's keep it moving. Yeah, let's do it. I'm with you, Steve-O. Lawrence, the Sarah Lawrence on Twitter. On to the next one we go. There she goes. I remember what I was going to say now.

I was going to say she's dressed like Kanye West if he was retarded instead of bipolar. Very, very rarely get to use the word retarded on this show. But if it's about how someone dresses, I think you can pull it off. Oh, wow. What a coincidence. Another one word name. No, I'm kidding. It's not fucking ridiculous. The, I'm kidding. It's not.

Fucking ridiculous, the shit I've heard about this show. Oh, there's this one comedian that swears that if you rub your head three times and fart twice that you get pulled first. All right, I pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Vince Merida. Vince Merida. Here we go. Vince Merida, all the way from the back. Here we go. Vince Morita, all the way from the back. Here he comes.

All right, what's happening? How we doing? Good? As stoked as I am to be up here on the stage with Steve-O, Tony Hinchcliffe. I don't know who I'm a bigger fan of, though. I mean, Steve-O, I've been watching him shove things in his ass for the last 16 years. And Tony, I've only been watching him for like six months while shoving things in my ass, so...

Thank you. Should I drop it now? My ex-girlfriend was super stoked that I was going to be doing stand-up comedy. She always wanted me to get up in front of an audience, talk about my feelings, you know? And, well, she also thought it would be a good idea to try to fuck my best friend. See where that got us? That's all right, though. She was a huge cock block anyway. I broke up with her the same week that I got a PS4

and I was playing it way too much. Still am. And now I'm just left horny and all I can think about is my Xbox. Whoa, exactly a minute. Vince Morita. All right. Very solid set, my friend.

Very, very interesting. I loved your opening joke. I guess that's a compliment that you would watch me and shove stuff up your ass. I'll take it. And then let's move on to the fun stuff. Is that true? Did your girlfriend really fuck your best friend? She tried to.

Wow. How long have you been with this girl for when this happened? Well, it had been about two years. Two years. And how long ago did this happen? This was in October. It was on Halloween. Okay.

It was on Halloween night. She tried to. She tried to, yeah. Women go crazy on Halloween. There's a lot more backstory to this, too. We were talking about having an open relationship. So things were going well Yes of course Who suggested

How did the open relationship thing come up That was my idea Oh I'm blown away Great idea Vince Great idea What did she say to that She sounded like she was down. Really?

Was there someone in particular who she wanted to hook up with? Did she find out about super lesbian or something like that? No, no. I mean, it was just kind of being open to the idea of it. And then I guess like threesomes and whatnot. And she decided to try to have her threesomes without me. Two guys or two girls? Which one?

Two guys. Apparently, yeah. Wait, what? How did the conversation go? You said she sounded like she was down. Well, it was not just like one conversation. It was a series of conversations and tears. You know who really wanted you guys to have an open relationship?

Your best friend. That's who. Baloney Pete. Maybe your girlfriend wasn't cheating on you. Maybe she was just bad at threesomes and bad at math. wasn't cheating on you. Maybe she was just bad at threesomes and bad at math. So how did she try? That was my question.

They got really drunk. Where were you? I was at work. I'm a bartender. You're a bartender working Halloween night trying to provide. Working my ass off. Working your fucking ass off. I can tell from behind you. I'm looking at it. It's gone. It's still a little sore from earlier. So you're out there bartending.

What did she do? They went to a party together, and I guess she made a couple of passes at him. Really? Didn't your best friend told you this? Yeah, he did. And he held strong? He held strong.

What did he say that she told him? What was the pass? What counts as a pass? I think it looked a little like this. Oh, she grabbed his dick. Man, wow. Look at that. Straight with the fucking Terry Crews shit.

Just the old dick grab. If you want it, grab it. Women think they can get away with that. But you know what? Us men, we're going to start our own Me Too movement. All right? You think you can just grab our dicks any time you want? We're sick of it.

No. It's fine. We're sick of it. Yeah, hashtag me please. Come on. Yeah. Hell yeah, baby. So how long did he let it happen?

Like an hour or so? Just to let you know, man, your girl tried to grab my dick the other day and I totally stopped her after I came five times. On her face. She was really... The last time I grabbed wood, I was at work. Oh my God.

Jesus. You've had a piece of wood back there this whole time just waiting to do that joke? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, you hear that, Tony? Wow, they love you. There it is. Oh, wow.

Not the first time I've seen a Jesus on a cross before. So what happened? Did he, like, immediately call you and tell you to stop? Yeah, was it a text message? No, he told me the next day. Oh, the next day. Yeah. He woke up.

What was, let me ask you this. What was she for Halloween? Maybe she was just being a fucking, maybe she was like a, you know. A cheater? Yeah. Yeah, maybe she was just really committed to the character. I have no idea. What was it?

I don't know. You don't even know? No. God, well, maybe there's clearly things were going well. Obviously, you're not asking. What was your buddy? Do you know what he was

for Halloween? I don't think he dressed up. Really? No clothes at all? That doesn't make any sense. A backstabber? Yeah, no clothes at all. Yeah.

Halloween night, huh? So you guys broke up immediately after that? So you're like, dude, you tried to grab my friend's dick and she's like, nah, or was she like, I was drunk. Yeah, she played the drunk game. Right, right, right.

He's fucking, he's pieces of shit. So how long have you been doing stand up Vince this is my first time whoa wow a fundamentally strong very fundamentally strong first set thank you that's incredible you talked

about you talked about me the guest you wound it up into a joke and then you talked about something that actually happened to you and that's fucking really really cool so obviously Clowned it up into a joke, and then you talked about something that actually happened to you. And that's fucking really, really cool. So obviously you've been a big fan of stand-up comedy for a while. Oh, yeah, totally.

It was actually my New Year's resolution last year to try to do it, and here I am now. Pussy! Hell yeah. Yep. Sometimes you just got to be like your ex-girl and just grab your dick and man up, you know what I mean? Just fucking get out there. I've heard that. Glad to see you're aiming higher.

You still bartending? Yeah. Hell yeah. And what else are you into? What do you do for fun? Is that true you have a PS4? Yeah, I do. What are you hooked on there? Honestly, the new Spider-Man game is ruining my life. A couple of nerds out there, cool. Hell yeah. Well, there you go.

You're out there fucking doing it, dude. Living your best life. The old Spider-Man game. Steve, what do you think about this guy's first set? Crazy, right? Pretty good, man. Yeah.

My Steve, what do you think about this guy's first set? Crazy, right? Pretty good, man. Yeah. My girl said that I should get in front of an audience and talk about my feelings. There's like a real, like a better, you got something there, but it can be better. Because like, you know, how you feel about her fucking your best friend, you know. Yeah, you got a lot of potential there and you did a good job.

Cool. I agree completely. I think the Xbox thing is cute, but it's almost sort of just like we want to know like more, you know what I mean? It's so good. That's why this, you know.

I like really aggressively think that video games are awful, you know? What? I always said if I had kids, I would rather that my kids smoke pot than play video games, you know You know, like I always said, if I had kids, I would rather that my kids smoke pot than play video games, you know, like because it's just, I think video games are everything that's wrong with

our society, really. Right. Now, did this come to you when you were coming, jumping out of an airplane? Right. Steve, did you not have like a Nintendo back in the day? I have a Nintendo back in the day? I had a Nintendo back in the day.

Hold on. We've got to go to Baloney Pete for just a second. Okay, little Taylor. All right. You can't play video games, but you can swim with sharks with Daddy. Okay? Right. So I was on an airplane.

I was on an airplane, and I'm going through their little on-demand selection of movies, and I came upon a documentary that said, video games, are they really that bad, or are they addictive? And I was fascinated, and they said, science has proven that there is no link whatsoever to video game violence and real world violence, right? that there is no link whatsoever to video game violence and real world violence. There's actually no link there. But there's a distinct link

between playing a lot of video games and being a complete fucking loser. And then I chugged a beer with my ass. Oh my god But Steve there's also like 17 year olds That are making like 2 million dollars a month That's true

E-sports I think is the future You know like that's I think it's great That's true there are a lot of people making money In the NBA too Yeah and they're all doing drugs Just to be better at basketball Yeah I mean hey dude who am I to point fingers They're all doing drugs just to be better at basketball. Yeah, I mean, hey, dude, who am I to point fingers? They're all doing it.

Brian, what are you talking about? Working out too much. Yeah, they're working out too much. Yes, that's a symptom that people suffer from in the world, working out too much. But the Xbox joke was like it was sort of a pun on the word X. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Yeah. exactly. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, for your first time, you're going to have those kind of jokes, but you're not going to have that joke like three years from now. You're going to be like slapping yourself for it. Right. Much like your girlfriend, that joke's going to leave you long before then. But amazing first set. I'm glad it happened here on Kill Tony.

There he goes, Vince Merida, everyone. He's on Instagram at Vince-tagram. His name's Vince. So his Instagram is Vince-tagram. V-I-N-S-S-T-A-G-R-A-M. It's a fun episode. We have a couple first timers.

We have a guy that's been doing it 12 years. Ah. We had a... I'm still intrigued by that compliment you received about how he's been watching me for six months. Yeah, we didn't get into that at all. That was good.

Yeah, like, wait. How does that work? What was going on with that? With him saying that he shoves stuff up his ass? Well, he was saying that he's been a fan of yours his whole life. Sure, you know, I got that part. You shove stuff up your ass. And then he's been a fan for mine for six months, and I think that he was saying that he thinks I'm so cute

that in order to help him come even faster than you would from just masturbating to me, that he actually took chances and shoved actual physical objects in his ass to facilitate with the ejaculation process. Hashtag Phil Tony. Yep. Phil Tony.

There you go. I like it. All right. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Devontae Green. Devontae. Devontae Green. Here we go. It's happening.

Somebody coming up here. Here he is. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, Happy New Year. I'm so happy to be done with the holiday season. Because the holiday season just gives me too much anxiety, alright? Christmas is what I like to call prime time lie season. That's the D-Day of having your shit together on your lies. Thanksgiving, that's your practice lies. You test the waters. But Christmas, you've got to have primetime lies. Nobody needs to know you're in the negative on all your bank accounts, right? Nobody needs to know you're on

your final write-up at work at all, right? But you got to go in there and tell people to shut the fuck up. Your aunt's wondering, why you got to go on a walk before dinner? Listen, I'm back. You were in charge of the deviled egg. Where's the paprika on the deviled eggs? With no paprika, this is just fancy potato salad, bitch, okay? Why don't you take a walk around the block, and you'll remember the paprika? I did a show over in Sherman Oaks, but I had to go early the other day. Everybody's like, why'd you have to go early?

I said, because black people shouldn't be here, all right? I gotta go where black people are supposed to here. Alright? I gotta go where black people are supposed to be. I got pulled over, and a sheriff pulled me over. He goes, Mr. Green, why are you out here? I go, oh, man, I'm going back. There you go. Go ahead. No, so, sheriff pulled me over. He goes, Mr. Green, what are you doing out here? I go, sheriff, I know.

Don't hit me. He goes, what are you going out here for, man? I go, I gotta tell you, man, I'm a comic. I'm going back home. I go, but I respect you. You guys got a tough job. It's you and teachers, you know what I mean? But I don't know who's got the tougher jobs. Cops or teachers? He goes, no, don't worry about it. You're welcome. I go, uh-uh. Teachers. He goes,

what? I go, because, listen, man, between me and you, I go, between me and you, teachers don't get to thin the herd every now and then. You understand? I'm still going to let him finish. This is just dead air. Go ahead, finish. No, I said it. Listen, Red Bang, you've been fucking up for years, man.

You got to settle down. Devante, no, you're going to throw him off track. 40 minutes after a minute. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. I still want to hear what he's going to say. Listen, so he goes, well, what do you mean, cops and teachers? I go, listen, teachers and cops, you guys get to deal with the public. I go, the distancing you and teachers are, you know,

teachers don't get to thin the hurt every now and then. So, therefore, they've got the harder job. Oh, my God. Exactly, right? Red band. All right. All right. Devontae Green.

Incredible stage presence. Great delivery. We just need some material. I can't believe I'm talking. All you need is jokes. Can I say that I can't believe I'm talking to Steve-O? Because as a black person, you got to know right now, Steve-O, black people would hate fuck. Jackass.

Look at these crackers here. Look at this right here. Only time I ever saw jackass was like I went to visit somebody in the hospital, and this is how we would avoid talking about the death. We go, oh, man. Hey, what's going on? Look at these crackers here. I think the Apollo 13 is turning on Devontae Green here.

I think they are. How old are you? 25. 25. 25. Yes. Yeah, man, I mean it, dude. Like, you got presence, you got confidence, you got great delivery. Devante, what's it like to be a 25-year-old white man in blackface?

That was for you guys. It's for my Apollo 13 over there. That was for you guys. It's for my Apollo 13 over there. It's the first time I've asked that question on this show in five and a half years, if you're wondering. You have an answer? I'm curious. There's no answer to that question.

Can I just give a shout-out? Can I get it? I just want to give a shout-out to the member of Apollo 13 with crutches. Oh, that's right. Hell yeah. You're fucked up. Uh-oh, looks like we got a member of the 13 with crutches. Oh, that's right. Hell yeah. Fucked up. Uh-oh, looks like we got a member of the Crips here tonight.

For some reason, he has three crutches. This party is out of control. He said the third one's his dick. Yes. There you go. So, Devante, you were just on this show, right? Was it last week? Last year. Last year, 2018.

So, the end of 2018. December 2018 sometime. What did we find out about you then? What did we talk about? Anything crazy? Find out any fun facts about you? What did I talk with you about? Do you remember? Oh, no. We just pissed black people off again, Tony. That's what happened. Yeah, it happened.

Apollo 13. I had to write a lot of letters. I had to write a lot of letters. Devante, Devante, you did or I did? I did. How'd you do that? Oh, no. You look like a huckster. I'm not doing it again, dog.

You're not getting me again, Tony. Come on. Watch Kill Tony and go back. I think it's like December sometime. They should be happy you were able to get out. Listen, man, my membership right now is very Why is this? Devontae how did you end up like this? Why am I blacker than you?

I don't understand what's happening You're not blacker than me You just got more opportunity Oh my god Anyway Where were you born and raised? I'm from Virginia, man. You're from Virginia.

Yeah, I'm from the South, bro. Okay, Brian. Oh, that's the Cosby Show theme. When you're from the South, you realize something. When you're black and you're from the South, you're used to being around black people your whole life, and then you see L.A. on TV, you think, oh, man, there's black people out there. You get out here like, nope, there's no black people.

Were you really raised in a predominantly black part of Virginia? You seem like the kind of guy that spent five days a week fishing as a kid. Well, a lot of black people. Hey, Tony. All right, all right, Jesus. There's a whole bunch of black guys. Hey, man, listen, man. A lot of black people like southern shit, bro.

We like our pickup trucks. You know what I mean? Like, here's the thing about being black. You can't always like what they tell you you're supposed to like. Like, at the end of the day, I'm a Cowboys fan. How about them Cowboys? And, listen, if the Cowboys would have had a fucked up season, I could have kept the boycott going.

All right, all right, all right, Stephen A. Smith. Let's slow it down for a second here. I can't. You can't like what everybody likes. All right, Stephen A. Smith. Let's slow it down for a second here. I can't. You can't like what everybody likes. All right. Wait, wait. What was his name? Let me ask you this.

Holy fuck, look at his feet. Wait, what? Look at the size of his fucking feet. Hell yeah. Well, at least some parts of them are black. Wow, that's the most racist thing I heard all night. So, Tony, Tony, can I ask you this question? No, no. What about me would not be black, sir? No. Wait, that's the most racist thing I heard all night. So, Tony, Tony, can I ask you this question?

No, no. What about me would not be black, sir? No. Wait, what about what? It's okay. Oh, now you don't want to ask. Man, you have the comedic timing of a fucking dead person. So, Devante, other than your first name and the size of your feet, what's the blackest thing about you?

Come on, earn some credibility back. I've never heard the Apollo 13 heckle this hard. They're being verbally abusive. You can't qualify your blackness. You just got to live in it. You know what I mean? I'm uncomfortable around white people in general. That's the blackest thing about me.

Is that true? That's absolutely true. All white people? I tend to like the poor white people. This poor racist man's leaving. You heard his feelings. Oh, there he goes. That was adorable. The poorer, the better.

I've never seen an offended skinhead in my life until just then. He's like, that's enough of this show. No, the poor, the better is how I prefer my whites. Yeah. It doesn't add up because that's the one thing you have going for you. You're so comfortable, this presence and this delivery. You're very comfortable around white people. I do.

I like everybody, but I love poor white people. You know what I mean? Poor white people, redneck white people. What about working class? That's poor white people. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Like Springsteen concert.

I see you at a Springsteen concert. You'd be like, oh, he knows the words. The boy in the rung. Come fuck my wife. That's what working class white people are. They love a black guy to fuck their wife. Can I watch? Can I watch?

Devante, relax. Relax. He did put on the glasses. I've seen the categories on Pornhub, Tony. It's all. It's the cuck holding is all the rage Devante shut the fuck up for a second Jesus Christ

you know you know all the words to a Bruce Springsteen song again I love working class white people I love Springsteen I think we just found the third blackest thing hey man Springsteen had Clarence, right?

Can't even get it out. Okay. Springsteen, Jay-Z, Kanye. Every time... What? Do you like quiche? I don't fuck with quiche, man. That's his cousin's name. Fuck out of here. I don't fuck with quiche, man. That's his cousin's name.

Fuck out of here. I don't fuck with the cheeses. I don't know. Cheeses aren't my shit, man. All right. Okay, so let's go with it. Blackest thing about you, other than your name and shoes size? The blackest thing about me?

Yep. Get redemption. No, stop. You guys stop. Aphrodite, the rocks,, all you guys shut up. The blackest thing about me is I fuck with my socks on. Okay? These feet don't come out no matter what.

It could be Beyonce, Rihanna, Ariana. I'm not taking these socks off. And it's more for me not to fuck up the vibe I've already established. I got to go to baloney Pete. Yeah, he's also loud. Do you trim your nails? Do you trim your nails? Or like those long ones that like

Steve-O likes to suck on? Wait, what? Is that a... Like his toenails. You know, like the jackass 2.0. I know the way with that, but what are you asking? Keeping his socks on.

No, I keep my socks on because I'm the way with that, but what are you asking? Keeping his socks on. No, I keep my socks on because I have slave feet. You understand what I'm saying? Alright, that would be another thing to mention. What do you mean by slave feet? What does that mean exactly? As black men, right, we're really good at fucking. But what we can't do is take our socks off because

it's just not, you know what I mean? Nobody needs that in their life. You know what I mean? I'm giving you good dick. You don't need black feet. Nobody needs black feet in their life. Somebody said, prove it, you sick fuck. Keep that shit to yourself now, baby. Again, there's a category on

Pornhub for you. I agree with Steve-O. There he goes, Devontae Green. Have a good night, everybody. There he goes Devontae Green have a good night everybody there he goes fun times Devontae Green talking about stuff man

alright on to the next one we go we have a regular on this show before we go back to the before we go back to the next one we go. We have a regular on this show. Before we go back to the bugger, we have a new regular that you haven't seen before, Steve-O. He's very special, interesting. He has an unorthodox comedy style. But extremely, extremely, extremely funny.

And he writes and performs a brand new 60 Seconds every week on this show. And he goes by the name of William Montgomery. Yeah. Here he comes. Here he is. Here he is. I took a lift over here, and I told the lift driver and the other African-American man up front my first joke, and only the driver laughed. I have an aunt. She looks a lot like my cousin.

We're going to need to get the realtor in here. I'm pretty sure there's a poltergeist living with us. It's my strongest joke. It's scary you did not laugh at that. Five years ago, I was diagnosed with cough. Since the diagnosis, my life has not been the same.

I'm coughing a bunch. Wow. William Montgomery. You're amazing. You have such a knack. You have such a delivery system. The whole fucking... I'm pretty sure you could say anything and it would just be funny. Like people try

to be wacky they try to be weird we've seen it all tonight right what is funny there was a guy who hit me up on instagram uh selling mushrooms and tonight i get a message from him he's like hey i'm wearing the dal jones hat and we spoke with another... Alright, I guess I was wrong. I guess not everything is hilarious that you say. Steve-O, this is your first time seeing William. This is...

I feel like he's just trying to take down drug dealers over here. He does. Are you trying to arrest a guy that's tipping off the drug dealer? I am. I lived up in Bakersfield. I had

a fake ecstasy ring running. I was running it out of my basement. A lot of rattlesnakes. A bunch of rattlesnakes. I was running it out of my basement. A lot of rattlesnakes. A bunch of rattlesnakes. And I was running it out of my basement. And one of my cousins got sick one evening. And my aunt showed up.

Hell yeah, the rest is history. You look like an adult orphan! A little stare down here between William and Baloney Pete. William, you ever work a construction job? I did. My Uncle Lance down in Memphis, when I was in between 7th and 8th grade, we were taking down tiles. And I'll be quite frank with you, this does scare me bad.

I've looked up asbestos tiles before, and it was the tiles we were taking down. I think I was exposed to asbestos. Wow. I believe that. There's the sound of asbestos right there. There you go. Man, wow. Between 7th and 8th grade, I believe that.

Just working on multiplication tables. Hanging out with buddies, going to the Wendy's a bunch, ordering Dave's Doubles. Dave's Doubles. You a big fan of Frosty's? I am. I don't know if y'all know a lot about Dave Thomas,

but he was a hell of a man. He was. Hey, have you ever had a wet dream before? Wow, good question. Brian Redband getting in deep, asking the tough ones. Have you had a wet dream before? There was a strange one one evening where I was on a bunk bed

and my now deceased grandmotherceased grandmother, Bee Vance, God rest her soul, was on the bottom bunk, and we were talking. We were having fun. It got to the point where she came up to my bunk and do you know what a wet dream is? She came up to your bunk

and the rest is history. Again just the slow roll. When you pull that mic away from your mouth you're done. Wet dreams aren't real. You don't think so? No. You've never had one before? Jeremiah's had like a mini wet dream.

Steve-O, I'm glad you're doing better. I have a memory of watching the video of you doing whippets, jumping out of that window. And at the time I was doing whippets, I'm currently doing Whippets but watching you I'm glad it's nice to see you I'm a big fan of Jackass

nice to see you so that's the thing they can't be fucking real because that's like to presume that you weren't already jacking off before any goo came out. Like who? That is a good point.

Bologna Pete? Bologna Pete is actually masturbating. But let me pee. That is the catchphrase to speed to. Bologna Pete, go ahead with the. Bad joke. Wow. You interrupted Baloney Pete for that, William.

How does that make you feel as a former construction worker between 7th and 8th grade that you just did that to another construction worker? It's all right. Once you're in the union, you're in the union for life. I'll let this guy do it. With nobody else. It answers Steve-O's question about wet

dreams. I've actually masturbated like an hour before I went to bed. And during my night sleep, had a wet dream. So it's nothing about cum. It's just about how horny you are. I had a wet dream during

a nap once. Wow. Is that true? Yeah. I had a wet dream during a nap once. Wow. Is that true? Yeah. I had a wet dream when my lunch break was. I've never had one, but I could see where it's a real thing. Well, when you're always, when the area between your thighs is always

moist, I guess there's never really any knowing if you had a wet dream. I think it's just like the idea of a guy just forgetting to jack off, to me, just doesn't... No, like religious people. Like people that are like, I can't tell you. Religious people jerk off the most. They just say they don't jerk off.

Yeah, but some don't. For the record, we all die believing Jesus Christ, y'all. Is that true that you really had a wet dream? During a nap. It was a wet nap. There you go. All right, William Montgomery, you did it again, buddy. Funny, funny, funny.

William, are you on Twitter? I've been trying to find you on Twitter and I can't find you. I was on Twitter when I was on AOL meaning my... You've got mail. Meaning my name is Pat106 at AOL... William, William,

wait, wait, wait, no! Instant message. Alright. I guess follow him on Instagram at some weird handle. It's impossible to find. Alright. I guess follow him on Instagram. It's some weird handle. It's impossible to find. Literally. Yeah, I think it's William J. Montgomery on Twitter. I can never find it. It never pops up for me. One last time?

I don't know. Oh, you know what? You know what we forgot about? Is James Bita here from last week? We'll go back to the buck in just a second. James, I don't want you to do a minute, but can you come up here and call your ex-guitar player and you think we can do this shit?

I can try calling him. He doesn't want to be on air. Oh, really? Oh, forget it then. That makes no sense at all. You want to go back to the bucket one last time? There's a guy that was on last week that played bass in a band and had sex with the guitar player's girlfriend for six months without telling him,

and he was going to tell him on the show. And then last week we tried to call him on the show, but it went straight to voicemail. We were going to do it tonight, but apparently he's already done it. Did he find out, though? You told him already? Yeah, he found out with him because obviously somebody went back and did the research and

he looked it up, found it. Hell yeah. Did he say anything to you? Any threats or anything? He doesn't give a shit really. Right. I don't know if he knows that it's just his voice, his dime a dozen voice that would be on a podcast. I can't have my he knows that it's just his voice his dime a dozen voice

that would be on a podcast I can't have my vocals out there bro I don't want to tarnish my career dude man that was suspenseful hell yeah okay pulled another name out of the bucket this is interesting this is a one word name and it does appear to be

the first time I've ever said this name. Make some noise for Vocals. Vocals. Wow. All right. Here he comes. Hey! Hey! We're all about to get murdered

He's your final comedian of the night, Vogue Hills, ladies and gentlemen. What the fuck is up, creatures? Before I start this shit, I just want to give a shout out to Steve-O. He already knows. This man is the reason he inspired me to come out here to L.A. I'm originally from Buffalo. I came out here for a TV show I can't really talk about now. But I want to thank you, brother, because you inspired me to do so much shit.

Taj.0, ridiculousness, all this shit. So let's get the fuck in this fucking shit right now. Start this motherfucker. You ever shit, piss, cum, fart, get raped at the same time while sucking dick and eating fucking fellatio? Goddamn right. I don't think so, because you ever just have a music career that didn't fucking work out, so you try to do everything possible? You snort a fat fucking rail on Taj.0 and you go...

God fucking damn it! Every time I come here, and I love you guys so much, there's just not people that really aren't that fucking funny, and I just die down inside. I just start fucking coagulating and fucking foaming from the mouth and I love all you guys so much but what the fuck, dude? You gotta have some motherfucking heart when you step up on this

fucking stage and you gotta fucking kill Tony. So we came here to fucking kill Tony. You can just we're just gonna all sit here for the rest of the night. You just keep going. Wow. I do the rest of the night. You just keep going. Wow.

I do love you guys. Wow. God damn fucking right, dude. Fuck yeah. Shout out to Korn. All right, all right. Vote kills. Hell yeah.

Yes, indeed. Sorry to stop the show, everybody. Oh, Chroma Chris. There seems to be a huge, a giant tool on stage. Did any of you guys have a tool? No, on stage. Did any of you guys have a tool? No, come on. Did any of you guys have a tool? Vogue Kills. I fucking like your style, man.

You're going for it. You knew what the fuck you wanted to say. It was a lot of fucking, a lot of entertainment. Wow. I fucking love you, dude. Yo, shout lot of fucking, a lot of entertainment. Wow. I fucking love you, dude. Yo, shout out to my homie, Kellen. He put me on to you, and I'm staying with him currently right now. Are you making poopy?

This is incredible. I am shitting my pants right now. I'm literally fucking cumming, shitting, pissing, and farting. Wow. I always wondered what would have happened if Chucky got to take over the kid's body. Shout out to Alex Vincent. It's like if Mad Max had family money. Fuck yeah.

Shout out to Jeremiah. I love you, bro. The fucking breakdown. Vocals. Yes, Chroma Chris. You can call your jokes tool bits. Okay, okay. Motherfucking tool!

Okay. Hot topic gold member. Wow, Chroma Chris is on fire. And on drugs. Steve-O, what do you think about this guy? My JTD drugs? Actually, yeah, I really did go viral. So I don't know if you guys ever seen this video, but I went hella fucking viral.

That's why you'll shout out to Steve-O because this man inspired me. I did the fattest fucking rail on Taj.0 and did a loud ass pterodactyl scream. It went viral on Twitter. It actually got a billion views. So another reason I came out here is to find Taj to get my web redemption. I shit you not. Wow. How long have you been in L.A.?

I actually, I don't even know if I'm allowed to say it, but I don't give a fuck. I actually came out here Wow. How long have you been in LA? I actually, I don't even know if I'm allowed to say it, but I don't give a fuck. I actually came out here for American Idol. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's right. Well, hey, this is what, this is This man right here has inspired me. And I fucking went hella viral and literally, shout out to Steve-O. He's inspired me to do all this shit, make the moves and

Where'd it go, Steve-O? Hey, man. Thanks a lot. Hey, Steve-O, you want to tell them what happened in Buffalo at the Helium Club? What happened in Buffalo when? At the Helium Club in Buffalo, New York. I remember it well. It was a great weekend. We performed, didn't we?

We performed together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very recently. Wow. The fourth time. Hey, Steve-O, remember that one time you performed in Phoenix? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, I'll break it down, you guys. So pretty much we went to see Steve-O, and I gave him a CD, and I was like, fuck it, man. I don't know if you're going to listen to it or not. So we decided just to perform for him on the spot, and we just fucking sang Tales from the Hood, and we got down. We got a load of fucking bass drops and breakdowns. We spit fast bars over 808s.

It was like, I'm up in the fucking... Vogue kills, vogue kills, vogue kills. All right. When you start talking fast like that, I know that we lost you. So, okay. Is stand-up comedy something that you're interested in doing, or is this just all, like, what were you going to do on American Idol? That?

All right, all right. So, to be fair, I really can't talk about it. I'm going to let you guys know I came out here for that. I will let you guys. March 3rd, this actually airs on ABC on television. It's the craziest fucking shit ever. Yeah, yeah. Did you also win $10,000 in a comedy competition?

No, I'm not that lame. I'm not going to get paid for it. I pretty much had to. Okay, so I'll tell you the story. So check this out. I used to work at a gas station called Sunoco, and I called it Sunocills, and I said, fuck that, don't donate to charity, help donate to me to get out here for American Idol so I can make this

shit happen, and every single motherfucking day, we have been doing the craziest shit, running into celebrities, fucking going viral, and having fun, and we've just been doing the damn thing. By going viral, he's got chlamydia, he's got gonorrhea, he's got... I don't have any of those, but it will start to happen

after the creature plague spreads after March. But, yeah, bro, seriously, every day I've been going viral, doing the craziest shit, and it's been amazing. For those of you listening to the podcast, by the way, Voke Hills looks like the final boss on a school shooting video game. Wow. Yes, he has his Devante Green mask with him. It was him all along. It was me.

Oh, my God. Bo Kills. Do you do... So, man, that's interesting. So, you sing? Is that... So, I'm actually a mystic death creature vocalist hailing from Buffalo, New York. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know that.

No, I've met a lot of people from Buffalo. You're all that. They're all the same to me. They're all mythic... Go ahead. Mystic death creature vocalist And I started a new genre Called mystic death trap metal So it's pretty much like

Some old school Three six mafia Hell yeah You call it trap metal Because that's how people feel When they're stuck listening to it Oh they fucking hate it dude I'll tell you one thing

I have so much haters And it's fucking dope Because it makes you famous So what I do is I go on these Facebook groups Online And I'm like Don't listen to this fucking trash

Vocal sucks What is this garbage And I'm literally Trolling all these people And I'm getting views I'll rack up like 50 trash. Vocal sucks. What is this garbage? And I'm literally trolling all these people, and I'm getting views. I'll rack up like 50,000, 60,000 a night just from talking shit about myself. So if you guys ever get a chance, do not listen to my fucking music because it's fucking bullshit. Yeah, where could they find that?

You could find it everywhere in the world. Type in V-O-K-I-L-L-Z. It pops up. We got some shit produced by Suicide Boys. Oh, Suicide Boys. Wait, were they Suicide Boys only after they listened to your music? Yeah, as soon as they listened to the music, they cut their wrists and were like, this shit's fucking trash!

I love it. Heck yeah, man. I love it. If you do more stand-up, you should go by the stage name of, like, Scam Kennison or something like that. Scam Kennison and his bitch. Where do you even get a jacket like that? That is so cool. Neverland.

Hot topic. Yeah. Nah, fuck hot topic. Seriously, that shit's overrated. Where do you go then? Just trying out for American Idol. I had all this shit. I'm going to be in the next Mortal Kombat video game.

Not by America. This is the pre-costume to the creature that I will turn into. Wait, you're going to be in the next Mortal Kombat video? Do you have any fighting training? Are you training? Yeah. He tells his jokes and people pass out. Wait, you're going to be in the next Mortal Kombat video? Do you have any fighting training? Are you training? Yeah, he tells his jokes and people pass out. Yeah, they do. They literally fucking faint.

They're like, this kid's fucking trained. How are you going to be in Mortal Kombat, the video game? So shout out to Juan, the Art of Freak Show Caparis. He's from Los Angeles. Okay, enough of the shout outs. He created a character for me in Unreal Engine 4, Maya, ZBrush, all this. How high can you kick?

Not that high, but I could try. You want to do a kick together? We'll kick towards the crowd. Come on, dude. Come on! Okay, vo-kills. I'm going to go on the limit and say you're single. What's up? Vo-kills. You have a girlfriend?

I used to, but she died. How did she die? She listened to my fucking music and was How did she die? Mysterious. She listened to my fucking music and was like, this kid's fucking trash. Get him out. His brother is the Undertaker. Dude, yes, the fucking Undertaker. All right, everybody relax for a second.

This is sort of a serious moment. Vokils, how did your girlfriend die? She listened to my music. Nope. Okay, she was choking on dick. Okay. All right, we lost Okay, she was choking on dick. Okay. All right, we lost him, folks. He's gone.

No, she didn't die. I don't have one. Cool story, bro. Yeah. Wow. Vocals, what would be something, before I let you go, what would be something that you think these people would be surprised to know that you're a part of or involved with or a hobby of yours?

Like something, because you seem like wild, right? You know what I mean? But tell us something to sort of balance it out a little bit. You into anything sort of calm or? No, actually not. It's always just fucking through the roof. I drink like 10 energy drinks a day, and I just fucking go nuts. I start talking faster than I can even motherfucking start to think or speak,

and I'm just like, what the fuck's going on? But honestly, music's my passion. Like I said, I came out here for that. And I actually came out here to talk to Steve-O because I actually have a major question for you, and it's... Fire away, dude. This is the time. This is the motherfucking time.

I believe we all know the question. It's, can you help him No but Ask the question David Because I gotta go So before we wrap this up We will be trying out for America's Got Talent And we wanted to know if you would like to be a part of it

Oh god He's like fuck this shit I ain't going up there with this kid Can I? I'm Steve-O and that's a big no he's like fuck this shit I ain't going up there with this kid can I I'm Steve-O and that's a big no there he goes Bo Kills ladies and gentlemen his first ever Kill Tony appearance that's the show

we did it we gotta keep this fun train moving along Ryan J Ebel drew while you guys were all sitting there. That's incredible. Look at that, Steve-O. Look how much that looks like you shooting a bow and arrow. It's great. Everything's available at ryanjebel.com.

He sells those prints and the Kill Tony posters. Shout-out to Josh Martin for all his great help and Alice Rose taking pictures. So, yeah, we did it. Steve-O, you said you're in Denver. Virginia Beach weekend after this one, which is in Denver. I love it. Follow all things at Steve-O and Steve-O.com.

I mean, you know, I talk about it with these guys, like, when I book you and have it out ahead of time, but I'll say it on the air, which I think I've said it before on this show. But you didn't have to become a good or great stand-up comedian. You could have sold tickets forever chilling, and it makes me really happy that you respect the art form so much that you actually work hard at it and are a genuinely funny person. And I love watching your shows, man. You have a really unique show, and I can't wait to see these new ones.

Oh, dude, I appreciate you so much, man, and thank you. What can I say? How about you make a noise? Your meteoric rise is legitimately inspiring to me. To see this room so filled, to see you on Twitter, going to all these places, to hear that you're going international with it, fucking A, a round of applause for Mr. Jones. We inspire each other.

One more time for Steve-O, everybody. Jeremiah Watkins was here tonight. That was Baloney Pete all along, I'm pretty sure. Baloney Pete has his own podcast called Jeremiah Wonders. He's got Rory Scovel on this week's episode. Anything else? I'm a fan of Jeremiah Watkins. I love Steve-O. Steve-O's been on Jeremiah Watkins. I love Steve. Steve has been on

Jeremiah Wonders. He's been an awesome guest on there. Follow me on social media at Jeremiah Stand-Up and the Reagan and Watkins album is dropping soon. Jeremiah's coming with me February 7th and 9th. We're doing the Calgary Laugh Stop. Calgary, Canada.

Right there in oil country. Going to do five stand-up comedy shows. Chroma Chris is Chroma Chris. Chroma, you were bad at a thousand yet again tonight. What did you think about tonight's episode? You really nailed it, Tony.

How about some noise for Joel Berg-Joel Jimenez? How about some noise for Joel Berg? Joel Jimenez! Hell yeah. Joel Berg's on Twitter and Instagram at MostlySorry. What else, Joel? I love you guys.

I also want to give a shout-out to L.A. Speedweed for helping me sleep the last six months. Absolutely. Kiltoni's going to Phoenix next Saturday, and then Dublin, Manchester, London, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and then stand up a bunch of other cities. TonyHinchcliffe.com, DeathSquad.tv. Follow up. Make sure you subscribe.

Take a moment to subscribe after this episode to us on everything and rate and review on everything. We just released a Raleigh episode, so that's new. And don't forget our YouTube page, youtube.com slash kill Tony. That has all the episodes. And a round of applause for Red Band, everybody. Yeah. Thank you.

Go to ZipRecruiter.com. Spell out kill Tony after that slash. And ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire. Thank you, live audience. We'll see you guys soon. Have a great night. See you guys later.お疲れ様でした Bye. Thank you.