KILL TONY - KILL TONY #42

Episode Date: March 18, 2014

Ari Shaffir, Jayson Thibault, Tony Hinchcliffe, Kimberly Congdon, Sara Weinshenk,Missy Martinez, Iron Earl/Earl Skakel, Brian Redban – Date: 03/10/2014 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Bandit and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.tv. The Death Squad 2014 Northwest Tour is on sale right now. Tony Hinchcliffe, me, and Tiffany Haddish, the original Cat Pack, are coming to Portland on April 18th, Seattle, Washington, April 19th, and Vancouver, Canada on the 420. 420 show in Vancouver. That's going to be crazy. Anyways, go to DeathSquad.tv for tickets or BogartLA.com. Also, check out ShirtSquad.TV. We're almost completely sold out of the stickers and the t-shirts of the Death Squad pill,

the third shirt. So if you haven't got one yet, there might be some sizes left. I know they're just getting really, really low. So the fourth shirt should be on pre-sale pretty soon. So you might want to, you you know go over there right now so i don't have to hear about you bitching in the future also a good little note is if a size is sold out um if you go a little bit smaller these shirts do run a little big so i know large has been uh sold out for a while but i know mark maron just posted a photo today and he wears a large and

i send him a medium because I had no larges. And it looks pretty big on him if he was originally wearing a large. So, I don't know. Check it out. I just got an extra large. I bought a bunch of extra larges, and they're huge on me. Like, I almost need to go back and, well, I guess there's no larges, so I'm screwed. I'm screwed, guys. I don't even have one of the shirts I want. So, anyways, go to Shirt Squad.

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also if you're a big fan of dysentery, please follow dysentery on iTunes. Uh, it's a podcast I do where I sexually harass everybody. Uh, just open up iTunes, search for dysentery, hit subscribe. And if you rate and review that show, if you give me a little review and subscribe to it, uh, once I get a hundred written reviews, I am going to pick out somebody from those reviews. Just put your Twitter name in there and I'll contact you. And I will send you,

if you have the funniest review, I'll send you a box with a bunch of Death Squad merch and cool stuff in it. So it'll be a little present. A little surprise pack of cool shit. Anyways, again, go to iTunes, or if you're a Stitcher fan,

check out Stitcher. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Van, coming to you live from the world-fous Comedy Store for a brand new episode of Kill Tony, Volume 2. Give it up to Tony Hinchcliffe.

Yay! Oh, my goodness. Wow. Holy moly. Oh, you guys are still clapping. Wow. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Now this is Wow. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Now this is exciting. Boy, oh, boy. All right. Save your energy, everybody. Jesus. That was like a studio audience. It's pretty good. Fuck yeah.

Welcome, everyone, to episode 42 of Kill Tony. This is so exciting. Another fun Monday night. I'm very excited about a lot of things. The La Jolla episode just came out. I got to watch some of that today and that's very entertaining. We took Kill Tony to the La Jolla Comedy Store and had a blast

down there. It was a lot of fun. We had the Iron Josh. We had our regular girls and it was a blast. And now we're back home. And yeah. And it's a Monday and uh now we're back home and uh yeah and it's a monday night so what the fuck yeah jesus christ why am i so loud this sound thing is still driving me crazy it's funny because we had the sound worked out right when we first you know got here and then the ghost and then they changed things the The ghost. Fuck yeah.

So, yeah. I get my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow, everybody. Thank you very much. Very, very not excited about that. I'm in my head about it. There you go. This guy right here. Thank you.

That's my dentist, everyone. He told me I'll feel good. Have you had any dental work before? Have you had a lot of dental work? I've been in the dentist most of my life. It sucks because I have acid reflex now. These two teeth are fake and they're just dissolving

because of my acid burping. I have to go back and get new teeth. Oh, God. I was really thinking the other day. I was at Staples. Should I just buy whiteout and just paint it? Oh, that'd be great. Please do that some night.

You should do that the night before you go to the dentist one night. Just so that I can laugh my ass off. Start bedazzling it. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, what's funny about that is you don't realize how not white people's teeth are until you have something white in your mouth. And then, yeah. So that would be great. I'd love to see you with some white white in your mouth. And then, yeah. So that would be great. I'd love to see you with some white out on your teeth. And if you wanted me

to, I'd be honored to be the guy to paint your teeth for you. Would it even stick? I don't know. That's a good question. Let's find out. Has anybody got any white out? Yeah, this guy knows a lot about that. He just did the old, you just gotta...

Alright, anyway. There's a about that. He just did the old, you just gotta... Yeah. Alright. Anyway, there's a battery here. That's exciting. We'd like to thank our new sponsor, Sony Alkaline. Getting in the podcast game. Thank you, Sony. Congratulations. Coca-Cola. Boston Market.

I didn't even know Boston Market was still a thing, but you came in with seven courses this evening. Oh, that's right. Boston Market's the bomb. And they have one of those Coke machines where it has all the different flavors, where you could be like grape Coke zero or whatever you want. So what sucks, though, is it confuses old people. And so there's a line of three old people, and it took them literally 10 minutes each

to try to figure out how to work that machine. They don't know what the fuck's going on. That's like an answer machine to them or something. I don't get it. It's weird. Well, you know, how exciting. For those of you that have paid attention to the show over the last few weeks,

we've been rotating our head of securities. Man, I swear to God, I am so excited about tonight's head of security. We've tried a lot. We've had so many different types, shapes, I swear to God, I am so excited about tonight's head of security. We've had, we've tried a lot. We've had so many different types, shapes and sizes of Patriots. And, uh, this week will be no different. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for our new head of security. It's iron Earl Skakel, everybody.

Wow. Oh shit. Look at the body. Already getting a lot of feedback on this one. Fuck, yeah. Rumored to be one of the meanest patriots, one of the most anti-comedian patriots. I'd like to tell all you fat,

lazy, unfunny, out of shape open micers, you better be funny or you're out. There you go. He's laying the fucking smack down. This is one of the first times

where the security guard's actually a security guard. It's also our first patriot that isn't wearing the mask. We looked at him with the mask. We looked at him without the mask. And we said, you know what? His face is funnier than the mask. So let's just leave the mask in the box. Put on the headset. You can have

them wear those big bifocals that you wear. Superpowers come from these glasses. I can see how ugly all of you are. So hold your women down while they see what a real sexy robot is all about.

Fuck yes. This is the patriot that will steal your wife from you. Oh, wow. He has flung something on the audience. Fuck yeah. He's wearing the iron bra, it appears. I can't believe that that part wasn't connected to the rest of the outfit. That is great.

This is great podcasting describing what this looks like right now. For the people listening to the audio, just imagine a gay porn bit with one person. Fuck yeah. It's like one guy, one cup. Solo masturbation scene in the belly room. Just imagine a real sexy body in your woman's arms.

It's the one. Oh, my God. This gyrating hip motion you do. Okay. Ah, well, fuck yeah. I'm so excited to have you here. What are we going to normally when the Iron Patriots here and if somebody doesn't show up for their spot they get blacklisted and the Iron Patriot would make a bunch of noises like pew pew pew pew

poom poom. What are you going to do if Wow. Fuck yeah. If they blow it here tonight you're going to make the blow blow. Alright. Fuck it. Well let's keep this fun train moving along.

You know? Yeah, it's true. We had an interesting thing happen tonight, and we have made some quick... What? Do I have a thing coming? There is a thing coming? No?

What are you telling me to do? Oh. We have yours. Yeah. Thanks, Josh. He gave us this signal, which obviously means feedback is happening, everyone. He heard what all of you heard and gave us a brand new signal for that. The old finger down towards the ground signal, which apparently now means we are having feedback.

Wow. this is a great episode so far. It's a weird one, right? Yeah. We got Lisey Manelli behind us or whatever. Lisey Manelli. I can see your love for musical theaters really coming out. Doesn't that look like that chick?

Oh, where is this being? Get that off me. Why do you do stuff like that? You're always trying to touch me with something gross. Probably be with the audience. No, stop it. Get this thing out of here.

I told Josh. Josh, what did I tell you? I like it. Oh, my God. Put it over here. All right. I get it. It's right here.

Oh, God. This is the worst ever. I told Josh. I walked in. I walked in, and Josh sets everything up, and I walked in, and I saw that fucking blow-up doll, and I said, Josh, if we get that anywhere near,

I literally said, if we get that anywhere near Red Band, he's going to turn into a fucking three-year-old. And this goddamn blow-up doll is going to have its own podcast next week. Okay. There you go. That's for, again,

for anybody who's listening to this. You should be... Hopefully this will help our views on Vimeo, having a podcast that can only be listened to. All right. That'll be the audience after the third comic. on Vimeo, having a podcast that can only be listened to. All right. That'll be the audience after the third comic. Let's just get the blow-up doll out of here.

Who wants a souvenir blow-up doll, everybody? It's been used. I actually like it. Keep it. I want it behind me. I know you do. Okay. Just stop touching it. It's very distracting. What's this thing? Oh, it's a new kitty cat.

Aw, okay. Missy Martinez gave that to me. Are you stalling? I am because one of our guests couldn't make it, and I'm just realizing that it's official that he's probably not going to make it, which is a real shame. But luckily we have substitutes. He even tweeted it today.

I just hope that he's not dead. Oh, don't say that. However, I'm with you on that. I think he got tired tweeting. Oh my god. He probably did. Luckily I have two of my funniest friends here in place of all

of that and with that. So here they are everybody. It's the great Ari Shafir and Jason Tebow. And when it gets all tired it drops and then I win. Oh yeah. J-Lo, J-Lo, J-Lo. It's like so short and thin.

J-Lo, J-Lo, J-Lo. Welcome gentlemen. Professionals. Am I getting here. Am I getting feedback? Thank you. Am I getting feedback, anyone? Suck it. Hey, I'm wearing the same socks as Josh Martin, I noticed. You are?

Yeah. Wow. I don't know what that does for us. I don't know. Just a thing. Where'd you get them from? Josh Martin? Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I didn't realize, but probably that's the cupcake store. Interesting. Urban Outfitters, yeah. That's where it was. You guys are very close on the evolutionary chart. You both have those little flappy beards and glasses. Josh looks like the leftover in our twins situation. Yeah, you're the Schwarzenegger in the movie Twins.

He's the Danny DeVito. There's a little left if you want to do another one. I think that would be an excellent idea. Hey, nobody asked you, other one. I'm sorry, Avi. Okay. What do you guys think

of our new head of security? You ever seen anything like that before? We were saying earlier that he's the first one of all the Iron Patriots that actually looks like a superhero. If he showed up versus all the other ones, I'd be like, oh, cool. Someone's about to get their ass kicked. Or fucked. Either way.

There you go. Nice thrusting. Probably the superhero with the worst vision ever. That's for sure. But if he finds the villain he's looking for, they're going to get it really bad. He looks like the bartender if Marvel Studios

opened up a gay bar. Fuck yeah. X-Men only. Finger blaster. X-Men only. How dare you guys turn on me? Marvel gay bar. Alright, fuck it. That won't. How dare you guys turn on me? Marvel gay bar. Alright, fuck it.

That won't be the worst joke you've heard. Thank God. Oh shit. Iron Skakel, do you have any questions for our guests? No, no, I pretty much got this show nailed. Good. Skakel, what's in your front? What's in your codpiece there? About nine inches.

All right. Good answer. About. Keyword about. Yeah, yeah. About nine inches. Eleven in the right hands. Which would be an infant's hands,

just if anybody's wondering. Some sort of blind baby holding a four-inch dick. If you were a superhero, what do you think your superpower would be? White power. Holy shit. Wow. It was so fast. You didn't even let me finish the question.

I think he didn't even hear the question. He was just coincidentally saying white power in that moment. It was the slightest pause. He was thinking of maybe invisibility, but nah, white power. What's better than invisibility? White power. Wow. Spl than invisibility? White power. White power. Wow. Splendid.

Splendid. That is awesome. What would you do with that power? Everything I could. Except be white. Question for Earl. Do you know that you're actually white? Yeah, I'm white.

I got money. I wash roots backwards. Why is that? Well, I did the same thing with Philadelphia. Tom Hanks gains weight. All right. Hey, they all can't be fucking home runs. Set the bar too high.

I set the bar high. I'm working back down. You did. You did. Stuff is what Marino did. This is great. I'm so glad to have all you guys here. You guys know how the format works.

A bunch of comedians signed up tonight for the chance to do a minute and get some kind of criticism, constructive, whatever. Let me ask the comedians a question. Have any of you guys gotten anything off this? Have people tweeted you guys and stuff when they hear you? Yeah? Oh, fuck yeah. Good. That's pretty cool.

That's pretty cool. All we got to was a talk from Jamie. He was drunk. Just sat up there like, here's what you have to do. Buddy, buddy. Oh, he used to do that? Yeah. Yeah, he once told me.

He didn't do that when we were on stage still. He would do that when you were on stage? No, no, afterwards. Oh, yeah, you have to go up to him. He once told me about six years ago. He goes, buddy, buddy, here's what you do. You come back here. You wear a cowboy hat.

Talk about being from South. Get out. From Ohio, though. Yeah, it made no sense to me whatsoever. Four days later, you're in there in a cowboy hat. Yippee-ki-yay, y'all. Sure do love it here in Hollywood. There's a snake in my boot.

There's a snake in my boot. Anything to make it, guys. Jamie Masada wants me to put on a cowboy hat. Guess what? I got one in my pocket at all times. You would make a great Woody, though, from Toy Story. That's really funny. I know. You would make a great Woody, though, from Toy Story. I know. That's really funny.

I know. You would. That's why Pixar, if you're listening, make a live-action Toy Story. I'll play the hell out of that shit. I'll be the parakeet. I'll be the ventriloquist dummy of any kind.

Hey, Open Micros, can I ask you another question? When this happens and everyone's having fun up here and shooting the shit, do you guys get a little bit like, come on, get it started. Hurry up. This guy's not even in it. You're

part of the audience. Did you sign up? No. The only guy to stand up for the comedians is the non-comedian. I'm sick and tired of the four actually funny people talking. Let's get to America doesn't have talent. Of course. No, I know.

And so you guys know how it works. Comedians' names are in a bucket. We pull them out. Comedians get 60 seconds. You know your 60 seconds is up when you hear that sound of a meow of a kitty. Aw, how cute. You better wrap it up then, because if you go over your time, you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood

bear. What the fuck was that? Jesus Christ. I like if you go over your 60 second time limit, we're going to play a 90 second sound effect. That's right. Save time. Time is money and I don't know.

All right. Earl, you ready for this? Yeah, man. Okay. You guys ready for this? It, man. Okay. You guys ready for this? It's episode 42 of Kill Tony. We're doing it again, guys. Yeah.

So glad to have you guys back. Thanks for having me. Here we go. It's Mike Grubbs. Grubbs. Grubbs. All right, guys. Does everybody know what a safety word is? Yeah. Yeah, yeah? All right, guys.

Does everybody know what a safety word is? Yeah. Yeah, yeah? All right, cool. Safety word is when you're fucking and, you know, you want to have some rough sex, but you don't want it to go too far. But I've learned that it's a complete waste of time because a lady, rather than saying it, would rather just treat you like an asshole, you know. So my girlfriend wanted to try it, you know.

I'm like, all right, you know, let's do it. So we're getting into it, you know, and i'm fucking crushing that shit i got my hand on her mouth so she can't say that she actually can't breathe because i was crushing it you know but she finally gets away and falls on the floor and she still hasn't said anything so i sneak around i dip it right back in and then she spins around and she's like what the fuck i can't believe you would keep fucking me and i couldn't breathe and i'm like shit i you know now i don't know what to do because she seems like she's like, what the fuck? I can't believe you would keep fucking me and I couldn't breathe. And I'm like, shit, now I don't know what to do because she seems like she's serious.

Do I fucking stop or do I slap her in the face because she hasn't said Fargo yet? I don't know. I hope that's a minute. No, it's not even close. I'm guessing 40. What was it? It was 54 seconds.

54, all right. All right, that's good enough. Pretty good, but you don't have to end it with, I'm hoping that's my time. Yeah, he did. I thought it was at a minute. Thank you. I thought it was a minute,

but then I kind of felt like I went too fast. I think it's probably one of those things where you probably practiced it a few times and it was a minute, and then you were a little nervous. Talked a little fast, so you shaved a few seconds off. You're sweating under the eye. Yeah, you are. Do you always sweat underneath your eyes?

No, I'm still fucking drying out from white power over here. That was fucking hilarious. God damn right it was. Yes, it was. I was nervous because I had to follow that. I didn't get the joke. Here's the joke, Red red man He fucks hard He kills shit

Including maybe women What's not to get There was no truly defined point I think it was a funny story But was that last thing you said the Fargo thing Fargo was a safety word It's like the movie Fargo is what you're talking about, right?

Or just like a safety word. Just any safety word. You probably could have picked maybe a funnier safety word or something. I don't know, man. It's a 54.32 second story. For one punchline. That probably could have been wrapped up in maybe 20 or 30 seconds

maybe. And the funny thing, it's just a little wordy, a little long to get to that, you know? I like that part where you're fucking her and then she fell and you kept fucking her. That's my favorite part. I think that's the best part of the joke. Yeah. Can I ask you a question?

Is it a true story? Yeah, 100% true. Follow-up question on his story? How rock hard was your boner? It was real hard and when she was down there coughing, catching her breath, that pussy was tight. Oh, wow. Real tight.

Right now, I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm guessing this isn't your wife that we're talking about here. You're very excited about this experience. Probably his cousin. What does my kind of wife mean? We have a kid together, and we've been together for like six years, but we're not married. Damn. Oh, wow.

There you go. That must be the trick to having it all happen. Do not get married. Stay rock hard after six years. Boom. So much so that you don't even let the girl get her safety word out. That's amazing. I had a girl tell me we needed a safety word, and I go, if we have a safety word, then how do you know you don't have control?

I denied her the ability to have a safety word. Wow. I'm not going to do that. She goes, well, don't go too far. I'm like, no, I'm going to go too far. Wow. What did you have in your hand at the time of this? A boner.

A chainsaw? God damn right. This guy, a boner. God damn right. A boner. A chainsaw. God damn right. This guy, a boner. God damn right. A boner wasn't even his. He needed a tool? Just holding a boner. On with one.

Whose boner was it? Fuck yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. You know, you basically, what you're saying is that you're banging a chick and she can't get the safety word out. And it's almost a good thing. Yeah. I don't know.

Is it? I just think it's funny. What did she say after everything was done? Since this really happened. Oh, no. Well, so what really happened at the end was I was just like, are you okay? Do you want to stop?

And she said, you know, she was like, well, I couldn't fucking breathe, and I was like, oh, well, I'm sorry. But you didn't say the safety word. I'm sorry is the worst safety word that I've ever heard of. She was mad.

I didn't know what to do. I was like, on the spot. I was like, you wanted this. What did she fall off of? The bed. You guys were on a bed.

Yeah. Yeah, but she was propped up on a peg. Kind of like, you know, Game of Thrones where they kill the king

and then they put his head on a pike. Yeah. Imagine her body like that on his rock hard boner. Right. So she wasn't just on the bed. She was propped way above the bed trying to be like showing like, hey, this is going to happen to you too if other girls come by. I love that you're telling me this and over your shoulder he's just nodding.

Yeah. He's got it right. Yeah, man. That's my kind of wife. I basically Game of Thrones beheaded my wife with my dick. Almost. That's great. What did your five-year-old say when he was watching it?

Hey. He was in the other room. He wasn't watching. He heard everything. I figured he was still on the bed. He heard everything about Fargo. No, no, no. He's only one.

He was asleep. I figured he was still on the bed. He heard everything about Fargo. No, no, no. He's only one. Oh. He was asleep and... Fuck yeah. When you got your girlfriend pregnant, did you have a talk about abortion at all? No. No, no. Not at all.

You didn't get any say? You didn't want to? No, I didn't want to. Oh, wow. If I could make a real quick suggestion to the young comics, if you find yourself in this situation, make your safety word abortion.

Thank you, Red Band. Yeah, you really wanted to have a kid, huh? No, but once she got... I can't wait until your kid's listening to this podcast. Not before she got pregnant. But then after she got pregnant, I was like, all right, well, fuck it, let's do it. Wow, that's the worst reason to have a human.

Yeah. But ironically enough, probably the way it happens the most. Yeah, you know. Was there a way to keep the girl into your life? No, not at all. Were you into fat chicks and she was losing weight? So you were like, all right, this will make it work out? No, no.

Or was she into fat dudes gaining weight yeah that was going to be my next question did you gain weight after after you knew she was pregnant because you knew that you had her locked in uh no no i tried to lose weight because i wanted to be more desirable but i didn't do that either all right Does she have big tits? Yeah. I thought you were going to say you wanted to lose weight to be a role model for your child. But instead, it was still just about boning at the end of the day. It's still just about boning at the end of the day. Wow. Mike Groves.

But now I protect it. We're not having any more kids. How do you protect it? Pull out. Oh, yeah. Why didn't you do that before? Why didn't you do that before? Put it in the ass. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Why didn't you do that before? No, I... Why didn't you do that before?

Yeah. Put it in the ass. Oh, there you go. White power. Oh, boy. The patriot believes in the red, white, and brown.

Fucking... There you go. Grubs. Yes. Interesting, interesting stuff, man. I would keep talking about that stuff, all that other stuff, too. Really paint the picture about falling off the bed. That's funny.

No, with more time, I do say more things. Oh, okay. I wanted to pare it down. There you go. To a tight 54. Yeah, to a tight 54 seconds. Yeah, I wanted a nice, clean 54 seconds. When do you start the clock?

When they touch the mic? Or just whenever you call their name? No, usually when they just start talking. Okay. You cool with that, Ari? Yeah. I'm just curious, because you're a bigger guy. Okay.

So when you're boning this chick that hard, and you won't even stop if she falls off the bed, there's like nothing stopping you. That was like the point of the night. Say the word. Get her off the bed. And then you say the word and I go, oh yeah, there's the word. There's Fargo. Fargo, man. Where the fuck was it? You know what I mean?

Maybe the word should be art. I might have dipped it back in and then she goes, no, Fargo. And I'm like, oh, Fargo, there it is. Dipped it back in. I like this. We're talking about it like it's a roast beef sandwich. I think that's funny. Dipped it, yeah. Okay, so my question is, big guy like you, how long can you have sex for?

I got good stamina, man. I was a wrestler in high school. Believe it or not, I can move. Really? But what about with a woman? What did you wrestle at? 207? It was 215s in high school. You it or not, I can move. Really? What about with a woman? What did you wrestle at? 207? It was 215s in high school. Wow.

So what's stamina to you? Obviously 54 seconds. We've learned that. Because you were sweating under your eyeballs when you got up here. I love it, man. Mike Grubbs, keep fucking. Thank you.

I will. What's his Twitter handle? Mgrubbs87, everybody. Follow him on Twitter at Mgrubbs with two Bs. G-R-U-B-B-S 87. I was going to guess that was his Twitter handle. That would have been a good guess. Some of the peoples are really tough.

You'd be surprised. We've got some interesting Twitter handles. It sucks having to choose your Twitter account when you're an open mic-er, so you don't really know how to get a good one yet. When numbers get involved. Said the guy that just gave up an AOL email account. What was your email? Hotmail.

It was Hotmail. Hotmail. He just got rid of his Hotmail account from 84. It got a fancy AngelFire address or something like that. I'm at the Yahoo Serious account. He just sent me a MySpace friend request the other day. I'm waiting. Trust me, I'm getting to it.

I thought you didn't see it yet. No, I saw it. Are you on Gmail now, Ari? Yeah, Gmail. Congratulations, buddy. Thanks. Welcome to 98. Just throws up the emails everywhere.

Just throws them to everywhere. Oh, here's a new folder you didn't know about. Your email's there. Yeah, it's a crazy thing that they've been working on this technology for the last decade. Sucks. Just throws your shit to different folders. Oh, you don't like it? No.

You like Hotmail more. Well, it just makes sense. Leaves all your inbox. Should be all the mail. You can just click on all mail. Why are we talking about this? I'm still with Yahoo, guys. I trust Yahoo. Is that how you set mail, too? No. We're 45 minutes into the show.

Ari's like, I got to clean my living room. This is a new name, I do believe. Put your hands together for TPAP. I'm guessing black. Black eye. Damn. The other way. The other way.

I had a premonition my name was going to be called early. I knew it. Man, we got to watch out for each other. It's dangerous on the streets. These gay guys are getting really aggressive nowadays. Last night, I'm standing out front with my back to the street, and I feel this really hard slap on my back, and I turn around.

There's this gay kid, and he goes... I'm like, is that the new code word for blow job in the alley right now this case in point this other time i go to the bar by my house it's like one of those everybody knows your name type places very straight bar i walk to the corner and to order a drink and this guy goes i'm going to you and not even nice right he's been in the game or asked me if i wanted to get he just told me he's gonna rape me in the game or ask me if I wanted to get fucked. He just told me he was going to rape me in the alley. So I'm like belligerent.

I'm like, you can't talk to me like that, motherfucker. I'll kick your ass. My friend steps in. He goes, hey, what's going on? He goes, this guy says he's going to fuck me. He goes, hey, son, I don't know how they do it in your country, but here you buy the gentleman a drink first. I'm just kidding.

He didn't say that. What he said was, you can't say that shit. That's not cool. And he goes, I'm going to kick your ass. That's immediate. That's immediate. That was immediate. You only got two seconds of him.

It happens. Sometimes it happens really fast. Wow. He got 58. It was like, I want it. And then the bear came instantly. Yeah, you got it at like 102. You got it.

104, maybe. Well, thanks for the extra two. There you go. T-Pap. What's up? Where are you from? Originally, I'm from Hungary. Really?

Yeah. Wow. How long have you been in America? 29 years. Okay. So originally, it was pretty... You were born? Yeah, pretty much.

I came here when I was... I was born in a refugee camp in Austria. And then we came here... From the Holocaust? You're the last ones? No, no, no. Not concentration camp. Refugee camp. They had refugee camps after that.

Shit. He got hot quick. Amazing if my parents made it out of that. Fuck yeah. So, all right. So we're still talking about the first year of your life. So you get out of this refugee camp, and then what? Where do you end up?

Reseda. Reseda. Yeah, and there's some shitty apartment building. You mean Reseda. Yeah. What was worse, the refugee camp or Reseda? What was worse? The refugee camp or Reseda? I prefer the refugee camp.

Yeah, of course. At least food was free there. Yeah, then we moved to Fox Hills. Fox Hills Mall is rocks. It used to be the shit. That's where I got my first pager. Cracker-ass white people now. The crazy thing about Reseda and you

is that Tom Petty sings about both Reseda and how you don't have to live like a refugee. Oh, yeah. And Ventura Boulevard, which is between here and there. Son of a bitch. Well done, sir. Just saying, guys. Just saying.

That was good. I thought of that yesterday, by the way. Because I knew this joke was going to happen. I had a premonition that T-Pap was going to come up and say he had a premonition. All right. Okay. So how long have you... I would say definitely for your jokes, way to hate the gays.

They're different. They need to be mocked. Oh, God. I was going a whole different direction. What were you going to say? I was going to say that's a very sensitive area. So if you're going to, I don't want to say comedically gay bash, but if you're going to attack any sort of anybody that isn't you,

you have to have a sensitivity about it. You mind when I think about that? Yeah, we agree. Fuck them bitches. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. I'm just saying gays shouldn't vote. That's all I'm getting at here right yeah you're totally right because i mean you really came across like i was expecting to say that you just moved here from the south like two weeks ago yeah like like i came across as extremely homophobic well one thing is i'm just making fun of a

situation that happened yeah you how you said it like he's saying is how you you presented it you made it seem like very insensitive. Yeah, it comes across as like, just as a human, you automatically, you're building walls right out the gate of like, I am taking a side on this and I feel this way versus having some sort of neutrality. I don't know. It's a tough thing to do to come out early on

and like attack a certain, I'm not saying you're right. Yeah, because you're like, open micros try to drop N come out early on and attack a certain... I'm not saying you're right. Yeah, because you're like an open mic-er who's trying to drop N-bombs and stuff. Stuff like that, yeah. Remember that guy Ari David? Yeah. And he would go up at the whatever... What's that coffee shop that all the burnouts used to hang out at? How do we not meet there?

He would show his balls and then drop an N-bomb. Yeah, he'd just say it over and over again. He'd be like, oh, what, I'm being edgy? People are like, no, it's just... No, you're not, man. There's no jokes there, so it's really uncomfortable. You just sound like a homelessbomb. Yeah, he'd just say it over and over again. He'd be like, oh, what, I'm being edgy? People are like, no, it's just... No, you're not, man. There's no jokes there, so it's really uncomfortable. You just sound like

a homeless crazy person. Yeah. He had huge balls, though. He had huge balls. Don't even get this guy started. They're on his level. Really? Wow.

Really. This guy looks like he's stealing baseballs. Yeah. Yeah, because, I mean, you said it like... Yeah, there was one of them gays or something like...

I forget how you said it. Yeah, I got that too. It's a gay kid. He's a young guy. Yeah, man. Yeah, it, I mean, you said it like, yeah, there was one of them gays or something like that. I forget how you said it. Yeah, I got that too. He's a gay kid. He's a young guy. Yeah, man. Yeah, it's just weird. It's a really hard thing to do, and it's very easy to be like, you know, even with the first guy that went up, you know, it's easy to be dirty, really dirty, and tell a fuck story and be, like, controversial.

And what you do is you're taking a side so some people get you and some people are against you well you and i were talking about this once how like when we started comedy you could still gay was good enough just as a punchline in and of itself just like that guy's gay that character and the story is gay and i was like aha you got it but now like crowds are like what that's not right right right we all went to high school with plenty of gay people yeah that's not funny sure you have to make a joke on top of it right you're like, what? That's not... We all went to high school with plenty of gay people. That's not funny. You have to make a joke on top of it. Right. You're one of my favorite gay friends. What?

Boom. Top ten for sure. Top ten for sure. Doesn't even sound like I'm that close of a gay friend to you. I mean, you know, I text you back. Now, one of the things that stood out to me during that set was that one thing that you did where the guy made the

face to you How do you do that? It's a rape face he said He called it That was the blowjob in the alley face It's big in the gay community He knows I think there's something there that you could make fun of

about that exact face. That's a great point. You could be that character. Play that character a little bit. If that's a blowjob, it looks toothy. It's not the best sign of a good blowjob. But you really want to make a face like this. Right, exactly.

Exaggerated. Your lips really overcome the... Totally. Exactly, yeah, yeah. Right, exactly. exactly exactly yeah yeah right exactly my blowjob face usually involves a cock in my mouth so maybe it may be a letter moistener and just just an envelope moistener yeah that seems like it would be a better blowjob mating call than the bite your bottom lip and tilt your head back hard thing. What's your real name? TPAP is not your real name. It's Thomas PAP.

But I've been called TPAP my whole life. Okay. Tom Petty was also named Thomas. That was actually... I was going to say that. TPAP is what they used to call Tom Petty. T-Pet. Really? Yeah. Have you ever thought of a stage name of

Tom P. Eddie? Oh, you're going to die. All right. Everybody relax. All right. All right. So, yeah, I think we pretty much covered that, Thomas. Thanks, guys.

Good job, Tom. Thank you. I imagine that he hates being called Thomas. And his Twitter is? IDTT Podcast. What's your podcast about? Just bashing gays. It's just my buddy Arthur and I.

We just have a couple beers. We talk about popular topics, stories from our past. We bring on people to interview, characters, things like that. What was your take on Ed Snowden? Fucking patriot. Very nice. What's his thing? He tattletaled.

Twitter thing? IDTT podcast. IDTT podcast on Twitter. I'll drink to that podcast. By the end of it, we're fucking blitz drunk. Right. Not really that funny, but the first 50 minutes are good. Oh, interesting.

The next three and a half hours, not so good. Not so good. It really winds down after that. There he goes, everybody. He really ends in a fight. Thanks, guys. IDTT podcast. TPAP.

Do you guys remember any joke you used to do when you very, very, very first started stand-up that you can't believe you did, that you're embarrassed that you did? I used to do a Ross Perot impression. Get out of here. Ross Perot doing an impression of Darth Vader where I would just go, Luke, I'm your father.

Really? That was like probably 93, probably 93. Do it again. Take it easy, bro. So great. I'll text it to you later. I'll text it to you later. But that is true.

That is true. I've done that in this room. You really date how long you've been doing stand-up when you're talking to a Ross Perot. I used to do a Nixon impression. What about you? What about you? I'm trying to think of old jokes I've done in here. I did an impression of a character, original character. I used to do a Nixon impression. What about you?

I'm trying to think of old jokes I've done in here. I did an impression of a character, an original character. It's the old man who thinks those punk kids should get off his lawn. You did an impression of that guy? You will be that guy, by the way. It's going to be a long time. That will be you.

Hey, kids, get off my lawn. And that was it. And then you started smoking marijuana you know what I used to do up here I would do an impression of the secret service because I love them so much the setup is the exact joke yeah it's exactly the same

so what would you do with the secret service I'd pretend like I was taking a bullet for the president I would just dive and fall I'm not going to do that now I would just dive to the. I'm not going to do that now. I would just dive to the side. But I could only go left. So it was hard doing it up here.

So it crashed into the mirror. You could only dive one direction. Yeah. I tried the other way and I just crumpled. I'll get it not to do it. Please move this show along. It's like when you think you can throw your football left-handed and you're like, yeah, sure. And then you do it and you're like, what the fuck?

That wasn't even close. The big nut is on that side. That was great. Thank you. That's a funny guy. Funny friend of the show. Put your hands together for Gabriel Killian. Yeah! Armenia, Armenia We we worship thee, all white. And Satan.

Armenia, I'm not Arab. What's up, everybody? Nice shirt. Man, I wasted five hours at the DMV this morning. I didn't have any personal business there. I was just hanging out, trying to meet new people. I let my idiot brother borrow my car and he crashed it. Now my insurance company is giving me shit saying they're not going to cover the damages because I wasn't the one driving. Fucking bullshit, man. Pisses me off. I was on the phone with them for over an hour yesterday during my brother's funeral.

I knew a girl who died. Every once in a while, I remember having sex with her and I get a little creeped out. But I guess it's okay though. I mean she was only dead a couple hours at the time. but I guess it's okay though I mean she was only dead a couple hours at the time my biggest fear in life is growing up to be like bubbles from the wire black

wow 58 seconds try to get the patriot on your side there at the end I see I like that last one good work Ari yeah

go for it well Gabriel the second and the third joke were exactly the same you just switched out

set up and punch lines but it was the same joke which is fine but you gotta separate them but it's hard

when you only have a minute how are you gonna separate them when you only have a minute fuck don't defend yourself what I'm saying but it's hard when you only have a minute. How are you going to separate them when you only have a minute? Fuck.

Don't offend yourself, numbnuts. What I'm saying is this. I agree with him. Funny, though. The first two, and no offense to anybody else, and maybe they're just getting warmed up now, but both of those jokes I laughed at.

The second one, like Ari's saying, I saw it coming a mile away because it's the same setup. You just did the brother thing. You could space them apart if you're doing a much longer set. If you're doing a 30-minute set, you can do one in the first five minutes I saw it coming a mile away because it's the same setup. You just did the brother thing. You could space them apart. If you're doing a much longer set, if you're doing a 30-minute set, you can do one in the first five minutes and then one in the last five, and they forget about that.

Yeah, as soon as you brought up the girl being – It's the same bait and switch. They reference dead people. That's the only thing they have in common. As soon as you say it, I – A lot of times it's like cracking a safe. Stand-up is like a magic trick where it's like there's a setup but when you can telegraph it.

Show me, show me on my penis. Okay, hang on. Touch me to where, yeah. Grab it. Ah, ah,

ha, ha. So, no, if you, you know, so it's like, but you showed them that trick

and then you showed them a different version of the same trick right after. So their brain path, they've already found that trail. Definitely. If that makes any sense. We definitely knew that was coming. Yeah, so if you space them apart a little bit, that's fine.

But the second one got a bigger laugh. Quit defending yourself. We're just telling you. No, the second and third joke. So the first joke didn't get any laugh. The second joke was the first one you did like that. The third one didn't get as big a laugh as the second one. The dead brother and then the dead chick.

And they're totally right. I saw it coming. Exactly. One little way that you could go about that, other than spacing them away from each other, obviously, because you went with those back to back, but what you said was, I knew a dead girl once, something like that.

I fucked a girl that died once. I remember having sex with her. But they were separated, right? Those two things were separated. You said dead first, and then you said sex. I knew a girl who died. I knew a girl who died, yeah. I remember having sex with her.

Sometimes I think about having sex with her. I remember having sex with her after she died. Yeah, exactly. Same here. And I told you outside, I go, are you going up tonight? Because you got your gig bracelet on. Oh, all right. Is that for Falcons?

This is so funny. Let's see what my falcon thinks. Respect, falcon. Poor Armenia. I fucked a dead falcon once. Is Sam the Armenian comedian your father? Or is Sam Tripoli your father?

You look like if Sam Tripoli got AIDS You look like if Sam Tripoli's AIDS affected him Fatality That's what you call shining an apple kids Oh my god I love it. Good job, though, Gabriel. Good job. Really good misdirection the first time.

Really good misdirection. I was like, I don't know where you're going. Yep, yep. You definitely seem like, of the few we've seen, you seem like you've got more stage time than them. You seem comfortable. Did you get that shirt from Buka to Beppo? Yeah.

Table 34, missing a claw table 73 it's got a 34 in the back like a dorsal fin in your face we talk about your shirt oh my god um what was the other thing what was the first thing that you talked about? DMV. Wasted five hours at the DMV. Oh, yeah. That's right. Oh, yeah, the last thing. Spent five hours instead of wasted?

I don't know. I mean, wasted's okay, but you know what? I think what Ari's sensing is what I am, too, is just like that's a weaker joke to open with when you only have one minute. You want to come out strong, and that's like a little bit like middle set time filler. You almost should have done

your first joke, your second joke first, killed it with then the DMV thing, and then closed on the dead chick. Is the DMV thing even worth it, though? That's not even really a joke. I was just there. I was hanging out. I didn't even have any business there. There has to be a second layer to it.

There is something missing in it, yeah. Maybe there's a dead person somewhere in there. Maybe your pocket is filled with numbers. Oh, yeah. Just giving out numbers to other people? Something like that? I don't know. But hey, let me ask you a question. Oh, yeah, that's a great way to make friends with the DM. Yeah, giving out numbers. Hey, you're

Armenian, right? Yeah. How long have you been doing comedy? Three years. Okay, so being that you're Armenian, have you ever considered killing yourself? Jesus. Three years. Okay, so being that you're Armenian, have you ever considered killing yourself? Oh. Jesus. Shit. Fuck, yeah.

I'd like to apologize for my good friend Ari for being racist, and Gabe... Hang on, Gabe, good job. And I know you gotta go, because you probably have some sort of cab to drive tonight, so... No, no, no, no, he has a show. He's headlining Zancou. Start at $3.50 today, bro.

Start at $3.50 today. Start at $1.00. How many times have you said this? How about I turn the meter off? I drive you to the airport for $2,000. It's a good deal. It's a good deal. A couple times a day at least. Of course. One low flat rate. You got bills to pay.

What do you say I do that for you, my buddy? My buddy. Fuck yeah. Have you ever gotten feedback from Jamie Masada at the Laugh Factory? You got bills to pay. You got bills to pay. What do you say I do that for you, my buddy? My buddy. Fuck yeah. Have you ever gotten feedback from Jamie Masada at the Laugh Factory? I've never stepped foot in the Laugh Factory. Boy. Wow.

Why not? You got to go through a bunch of shit to get on the mic there, and they don't let comics in for shows and stuff. That's annoying as shit. Yeah, not interesting. You show up, you're like, can I just go in and watch? And they're like, no, I've got to charge you. I'm like, what?

Can I go watch Tom Arnold bomb? Yeah. I like Earl's impatient shuffle. I love it. Let's move on with it. Now, you are Armenian, so are you related to any cab drivers? Or have they all gravitated towards you? There's no way you're not. No way you're not.

No way you're not. No cab drivers. Wait, wait, wait. Backup question. How many generations up live in your house? Great-great-grandmother all the way down or just grandmother all the way down? It's not like that. How many generations

in your house do your parents live in your house? My parents, just them. And your parents live in your house? My parents, it's just them. And your grandparents? No. Really? Not anymore. Wait, do you think houses... It was before they died, yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, the team. Psychic. I know Armenians when I smell them. Being Armenian plays a really taxing toll on the lifespan so I could see why. And the housing market.

Well, good jokes overall, man. Great job, though. Gabe Killian, everybody. One of the funniest little guys. Gabe Killian, everybody. He's on Twitter at Gabriel Killian. Gabriel, K-I-L-L-I-A-N. He lives in

Little Armenia. I think originally it wasL-L-I-A-N. He lives in Little Armenia. I think originally it was Killian with a Y-A-N, but then he tried to make it more American. He changed it to I-A-N. That's what happened. Every time you hear Ian, that's Armenia. Weren't you Ari Shafir Steenberg before you... Yep, they changed my family's name to Ellis Island.

I get that. Now, Earl, you're half Jewish and half Kennedy, right? Yeah. Some crazy combination. Yeah, I was born Jew but raised Catholic. Damn, that's like fucking power machine. That's pretty much like perfect. Did you get to see the sex tape

with Maren Monroe and the Kennedys? I heard about that. She had what was common to her. She got to fuck two presidents. At the same time. Who was the second one? Jesse Jackson. He never became president.

I don't expect that answer from you either. He's the president of Church's Fried Chicken in La Brea. Oh, that Jesse Jackson. Nothing better than the black guy's reaction over his shoulder. He just looks down. Does Church's Fried Chicken have some sort of democracy I didn't know about?

They got the best hot sauce. Good bone rings, too. Bone rings. Those are called cock rings, and I think you're thinking of a different store. Oh, my God. This is like a... Into the bucket of doom. It's true. Back to the bucket we go.

It's Big Al Gonzalez, everybody. There he is. Big Al. There he is Big Al I was watching C-SPAN the other night Because I was high And I thought it was a bad episode of Law & Order Now if you've never seen C-SPAN before

It's a political channel where you can watch your politicians Argue about bills and laws and such The night I was watching They were arguing about getting rid of the phrase Active terrorism and replacing it with the phrase man-made disaster. I was like, okay, I'll go with that, Congress, but let's be clear. If a man walks into a building and blows it up,

we can all agree that that is an act of terrorism. But if a man walks into a building and shits his pants, that's a man-made disaster. That would be a whole different call to Homeland Security. That would be a whole different call to Homeland Security. What's that smell? The smell of terrorism. Now move on.

Thank you. That's it. Big Al Gonzalez. I don't know, man. It got wordy or something. I don't know. I got high. I feel like two things.

One, Ari's pot brownie is kicking in. And two, I've been on a podcast like this before. And two, you dumbass. You had more time, you know, going. You ended like 42 or 43. Did you have something else prepared? Or was it the kind of thing like your first couple jokes didn't go how you wanted,

so you just kind of like pulled the ripcord? Yeah, no, I was going for a longer bit. I didn't know how long it lasted. I haven't done it just by itself, so I have no idea how long it went. I figured somewhere close. Yeah. I think I missed a part in the middle, whatever the smell thing was about, right before the smell thing. What did I miss there?

I stumbled on my word. I was watching C-SPAN. I was watching C-SPAN because I was high, and I thought I was watching a bad episode of Law & Order. And they were saying how they should classify something. And they were talking about how they were going to get rid of the phrase active terrorism replaced with the phrase man-made disaster. And I was like, I'll go with that, but let's be clear. If a man walks into a building and blows it up,

we can all agree that that is an act of terrorism. But if a man walks into a building and shits his pants, that's a man-made disaster. Can I say something real quick? The Law & order thing, it really came across like you set something up that you never went to. Oh, yeah.

You could probably just nix that and go, I was watching C-SPAN and they were talking about this. Because I feel like the little bit of the negative reaction you got was everybody's brain goes, how is this show like this show? And you never gave them that. And then you went a different direction. So they had to rethink.

You know what I mean? Okay. I mean, that's all I would say about that. Yeah, we had this guy in my high school who used to start stories way too early. It was weird. He'd talk about some basketball game. And they'd be like,

yeah, I remember I was in high school and I graduated. I got like an A in that class. But then I moved on and went to college. And a bunch of my friends there were going to a basketball game. And you be like, yeah, I remember I was in high school and I graduated. I got like an A in that class. But then I moved on and went to college. And a bunch of my friends there were going to a basketball game. And you're like, what does this have to do with the high school thing? Yeah, yeah. It just never had anything to do with it.

That's a good analogy. Yeah. Mordechai was his name. Wait a second. Wait a second. You went to high school with a Mordechai? Yeah, can you say that without clearing your throat in the middle of it? What was that? Mordechai. That's how you say it. Mordechai the middle of it? What was that?

Mordechai. That's how you say it. Mordechai. Mordechai. What? Chai, chai, chai. Mordechai. Does that have an H?

You're really good at that. It has an H. It has plenty of H's. Yeah, like about five of them. Yeah, a couple C's in there, too. That's like a hard ugh. Mordechai. I've heard of a hard R, but I've never heard of a hard I've heard of a hard R, but I've never heard of a hard

Earl, do you have any examples of a hard R? Hummus I'm not in this current environment What's a hard N there, Earl? I'm not in this current environment Yeah, that was a 42 minute joke The end of the joke was there I guess you could tag it up make it a little bit more fun Yeah, there was a 42-minute joke. The end of the joke was there.

And I guess you could tag it up, make it a little bit more fun. But I think that even the end, maybe think of a different way or different natural disaster or whatever, man-made disaster. It just didn't pay off for me, that last joke. It seemed like there was a lot of build-up. And then it was like, oh, yeah, that's cute, but that's not an end. If they end up getting laughs, it seems better, and if it doesn't, it seems worse.

This is hard to fucking... It's hard to do a minute, and it's hard to do a minute. It's hard to do a minute, because something as simple as you setting up something and then taking a hard right turn, it can take, you know, it took them 35 seconds to readjust to what you were doing, so

it's tough. For me, it's hard because I don't deliver in a minute style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do a very slow kind of style. Right, yeah. Otherwise, that joke would have took two and a half minutes. Now, when you say that joke would have took two and a half minutes, is that because you're uneducated?

Or because you chose to use the word took there? Yeah, I sort of like where you're going with it. I think that it has to be more on exactly how high you got. If that makes sense at all.

I think that either the amount of pot that you smoked or the quality of pot that you smoked has to be the defining reason and out ahead of the fact that you watched C-SPAN thinking it was Law & Order. Or even if it was almost in question form. Like, have you ever gotten so high that you watched... Yeah, you thought you watched Law & Order.

Like, I smoked so much pot, I watched Law & Order, and it turned out it was this show after an hour. Tag, tag, tag, tag. That's the intention I'm going with. I watched an hour and a half roll call for their morning whatever the fuck. Yeah, I think all four of us are saying the same thing. It was just a little like trimming the fat kind of thing. Yeah, you can make that joke shorter.

Yeah, cut to the... Sweeter. Yeah, exactly. That's it. Shorter than 42. Got it. No, the first part's true. Yeah, you can make that joke shorter and sweeter. Yeah, exactly. That's it. Shorter than 42. Got it. No, the first part too. Yeah.

It's a four second joke you have. No, I'm kidding. Okay. But it's a great premise and there's definitely some stuff to be definitely some stuff

to be made there. All right. Thanks. Big Al Gonzalez. He's got the Twitter handle Big Ass Comedy. Big Ass Comedy. That's it. Big Ass Comedy. A-S- Twitter handle BigAssComedy. That's it. BigAssComedy.

A-S-S. BigAssComedy. Do you have a big ass, Al? There you go. Can somebody tell him if he has a big ass? Let me take a look. There he is. It's pretty big.

Real nice cinnamon ring, though. Could have lived a long time and not heard that. What happened to the other Iron Patriot? He quit. He quit the show about a month and a half ago. I heard stuff about it. This guy just fucking busts balls

like nobody else. He comes in once every ten minutes, just snaps out of it and asks a rhetorical question. Wait, you didn't hear about that, dude? What do you mean I'm late for work? Is this the bad guy from True Detective? That's me.

Oh my god. Okay. Let's keep this fun train moving along. Big Al Gonzalez. That was fun. And up next, it's Sarah Kenny, everybody. I predict it's going to be a girl. Yep.

You're good at this. All Tom Petty now. So over the years, as our population has grown fatter and fatter, the fat joke has really suffered. It's like,

your mom is so fat. She's fat as my mom. Your girlfriend's so fat, I bet you just have sex with her. Anyway. So my roommate and I have been living together long enough that our

periods have synced up you know we get them at the same time but there's something really messed up about that you know because i don't think that my roommate should have blood coming out of his penis every month like you should really get that checked out. Whenever you hear somebody say, I'm usually not like that, they're definitely always like that, in my experience. I think that's close to a minute.

All right, let's go. Sarah Kenny, everybody. Time for Sarah. Sarah Kenny. Sarah Kenny. That sound means someone just won a television. Sarah Kenny. What does that sound mean? Someone just won a television. What was that sound? It was a TV elephant.

Yeah, that was good. I don't know, man. Fuck, this is so hard. It is hard. It is hard because, like, you know, it's hard to get momentum in a minute. Oh, yeah, good joke about the blood cock. Yeah. I like that. joke about the blood cock. Yeah.

I like that. What was the one before that? The fat joke? The fat joke. Yeah, I got some laughs on that. You know, you could, with the fat joke thing, and I know it's a minute and you get to it really quick, you can set up the How Fat America thing is

because if they don't, you know, and tag that like Tony always says, if you can tag that little 10 second set up with something and then you can just pile those out. Yeah, I do have some. Those are funny.

People are getting fat. That is true. Fat and lazy. As the economy gets... Hey Earl, I mean Iron. If you had to pick one people that would be the economy gets... Hey, Earl. I mean, Iron. If you had to pick one people that would be the fattest and laziest, what would they be? Open micers.

Oh. Great answer. Great answer. I remember this girl when I was a judge. She did that abortion joke up top. Yeah. Oh, yeah yeah that was you you did do the mic stand

you left in front of you oh yeah I was going to tell another joke where I needed both hands and then I didn't tell it still had 8 seconds would it have taken longer than 8 seconds it's almost a minute it would have been just that joke is the punchline of that joke

this? Commitment. I tell you, that joke needs both hands. A lesson in commitment from Jason Tebow. He followed through with that one all the way. He was going to do it, and then he did it, and then he stuck with it, and he finished it. And that's enough from hindsight, Hitchclick.

Hindsight is always, you know what the numbers are. First of all, I gotta say that I love that Chimey McChimes a lot over here. Loved when you said that with your period synced up, he just goes, oh yeah. So creepy.

How you even stayed in the pocket and tried to finish that joke. I have to give you credit for that. That's amazing. I just thought that's a reaction. Okay. Oh, yeah. Like that's the hottest thing he's heard in months. Just period syncing up.

And I bet you really felt bad when you found out it was a bleeding dick. It's just like, oh, no. Yeah. It was really saying yuck because he knew he was creaming right then. Yeah. He was like, oh, yuck. Oh, I came in my pants thinking about a bleeding dick. I thought about, like...

You made me cum for no reason. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, shit. I thought about, like, eventually you find out my roommate is my dad. Would that... Yeah, that's what it's like. You'd love to take it to the next level. I remember that.

I got a lot of you. I remember that with the abortion joke. Yeah, I got a little out of hand. You're a dirty girl, aren't you? Oh, yeah. I feel like someone's about to get a new podcast. It's time for the magical minute with Brian Redman. Oh, you're a dirty girl, aren't you?

Redman's about to take someone to the podcasting couch. I don't know why I gave you my voice, by the way. Oh, you're gonna die. Fuck yeah. Have you ever met on Craigslist for sex? Yeah. Oh, sorry. That's how we met initially.

Oh. Women seeking robots. I can see that. Women seeking robots. You two look familiar. Oh, shit. Very good. I would like to see more of those. You could actually do some more fat jokes, I think. I think there's probably some in there just to figure out.

Well, I'm excited there's a fatter Barbie doll coming out. So I've been working on dealing with that. Really? Is that true? Yeah. That's what I heard. A fat Barbie doll? Yeah. They're worried that the regular Barbie doll is a

poor role model. She has no genitalia. Well, they're worried she's too skinny, but it's more that if people think that this doll is supposed to be a role model, it would also mean children didn't want to have nipples or a vagina. Is it just a cabbage patch doll, or is it a different...

A tiny cabbage patch. No, just... Thicker Barbie. How's it going over there? Does the sword pass your examination? I figured it out. I'm surprised he has both of his arms right now. Diabetic Barbie would be pretty funny.

Oh, yeah. She'd look just like regular Barbie, but take insulin shots every once in a while. Come with some pills. Type 1 diabetes. Ken's butt smells. Why would Ken's butt smell? What do you think diabetes is? Diabetes is the disease where your sexual partner has a smelly butt.

It totally smells, right? No, I was just thinking if Ken was fatter also. He's just sitting there and he stinks and he just sits on the computer all day. The show's so educational as well. That's why I like to... Brian, you don't have to be fat. You can get it just from being black. Oh, God.

I don't think that's funny, man. Why are you winking? There you go. Oh, boy. And then what was the last joke again? Usually, if somebody says I'm usually not like that, they're definitely always like that. Oh, yeah.

Just need a joke there. Examples. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's more just that. Same thing as earlier. You could just throw a couple examples out of that same shit. Yeah, I was kind of like, I was trying to squeeze it in. I'm like,

always honest is a fucking lying cunt. Any chick that says that to me is a miserable, miserable cunt. I'm not usually like this, but I just love having sex for money. I know,

right? Right, why do you have a PayPal account for your twat? Listen, ask when you're on the clock. No, I was talking to you.

Why do you have a PayPal account for your twat? All right, Sarah Kenny, there she goes, everybody. Thank you, Sarah. Why do you have PayPal? Careful. All right. Sarah Kenny. There she goes, everybody. Thank you, Sarah. What's her Twitter address? See if she breaks the record for most normal Twitter address.

So far, big out. Well, the big ass comedy has gotten it. S. Kenny comedy. Christ. No, still big out. S. Kenny comedy. S. Kenny comedy. Yep.

God. Was Sarah Kenny taken? Yes. Of course. Was medium Sarah Kenny taken? Of course. Was a medium-ass comedy taken? Or normal-sized ass for you?

For the three girls in the room that just went, oh, is medium-sized ass an insult? No, it wasn't. It's like every guy here with their girlfriend, they're driving home, and she's like, do you think I have a medium ass, whatever that means? So what the fuck was up with the medium-ass's like, do you think I have a medium ass? Whatever that means. I would never say that about you. So what the fuck was up with the medium ass thing, huh?

You don't have a medium ass. Aren't all women beautiful? No, they are not. There's some real gorillas out there. No shit. Jesus. I don't know. That's supposed to be... I mean, is that a bigger person?

Or what do you mean by gorillas, Earl? Girls who look like they should be on the next Amber Alert. There was an Amber Alert today. Does that annoy you guys when there's an Amber Alert and your phone goes crazy? You can turn it off. Jesus, sir. Oh, my God. This guy freaks out more than anyone.

He's the one with the kid in his trunk right now. He's like, it drives me crazy. I don't want to know about it. I want to be an anonymity. Once I put it in the trunk, I want to forget about that yappy fucking seven-year-old bitch. Let the sun do its work. You should like it, though, bro,

because that means as soon as that goes off in your phone, that means everybody knows you have a kid in your trunk. Right. I saw one. I saw one once. I was on there. You ever see one? You see the thing, and it says, like, Blue Nissan Sentra, and you look, and like, oh, there's a Blue Nissan Sentra.

Right. I looked at the license plate. It was the same one. Uh-huh. Really? Yeah. What did you do? I pulled up next to the guy.

Just gave a little... No. Did you give him one of these? Shh. Shhhh I just saw what he looked like is that really true yeah you didn't do anything

no they kind of looked back at me you know that embarrassment feeling when somebody catches you looking are you just telling this story

because it seems like a great story no I did and then I didn't I didn't know what to do so I sort of looked away you're a fucking piece of shit Ari a great story? No, I did. And then I didn't know what to do, so I sort of looked away. You're a fucking piece of shit,

Ari. If this is true, this is the worst thing I've ever heard anybody confess. And the fact that you're taking it and announcing it on a podcast is unbelievable. It's uncomfortable. Turns out the kid died

four hours later or whatever. It's uncomfortable. Turns out the kid died four hours later, whatever. It's uncomfortable making eye contact with somebody. What do you want me to do? It's human nature. It's like, what are we going to talk about other than the kid he's about to kill? I love that you got scared when he looked back at you. Like, you're a five-year-old.

I know. That's what he's... Ari's like, he didn't just see me singing Sade, did he? Oh, God. Right. Ring the joke bell.

Oh, that's great, Ari. Yeah. It made a difference. That's not really great. It really made a difference. Oh, my God. I mean, wow. It's definitely picture worthy.

I'm a hero. I can see the caption on that. Ari just admitted to... Really, if you think about it, I'm a hero. It's definitely picture worthy. I can see the caption on that. Ari just admitted to... Really, if you think about it, I'm a hero. Assisting in... Hang on. What did you do? How are you a hero?

Because I saw him. No, I don't think you understand what a hero means. I saw him. Yes. So how are you a hero? If anybody's a hero, it's me here. And I'm waiting to hear why. Because I saw him.

I got the story out of it. Okay, let's bring up the next comic, and then after the show, I want to talk to you about what you think a hero means. Fuck yeah. You got no one to hold them, no one to fold them. Nope, that's gambling. That's gambling.

That's different. That's gambling. That's different. That's gambling. Yeah. You guys make some good points. Wow. Do you remember what the victim like... The kid wasn't in there knocking saying, help me out. How would you know? I looked in the backseat.

You were the only person to roll your window up when the guy turns around and looks at you like, oh, I'm sorry. No, my windows were already up. Did you offer to like... Were you trying to... Why don't you just take it to the next level and just like offer like, hey, dude'm sorry. No, my windows were already up. Did you offer to like, were you trying to, why don't you just take it to the next level and just like offer like, hey dude, you have an Amberler. Want to switch cars? Fucking get it out of here? Is there anything I can do? I just wanted to see

what he was all about, what he looked like. If he looked nervous or anything. Did he look nervous? Nah. No. But he turned around to look at you. Yeah. So he's looking at you like, Jesus. He looks at you like, geez, how is that? He looks at you like, geez, how's that creep not the pedophile? Yeah.

He just keeps driving. Well, he probably just saw the same sign we just passed. Right. It was like coming up, but I was like, oh, excellent.

I could like cross-reference it as we were like going. Maybe he was just the world's dumbest pedophile and he saw the Amber Alert and he was looking at your car like, hey, is that the guy?

Because maybe he forgot that he was. Yeah, maybe like, hey, is that the guy? Because maybe he forgot that. That he was, yeah, maybe. All right, your next comedian. Every time she is available to make it here, she does this show. She's always funny. You guys may recognize her from...

Is it Sarah Silverman? Oh, I'm so excited. I'm so fucking excited for Sarah Silverman right now. Fuck yeah! Let's bring her up, Tony. Don't make us wait anymore. All right, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands excited for Sarah Silverman right now. Fuck yeah. Let's bring her up, Tony. Don't make us wait anymore. All right, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Sarah Silverman. Yeah!

All right! You're right. Apparently Sarah Silverman was in Ralphie Mae's trunk and Ari passed them and didn't say anything. Instead. I think Ralphie ate her Really went for it on that one We know Jimmy Kimmel did

Holy shit Yeah but I know See what I did there Dumb fuck No everybody you might recognize her from some of her work In the adult industry And she does stand up as well It's Missy Martinez.

Yeah. So being in porn has taught me a lot about myself and life. For instance, I learned that sweatpants and Uggs can be formal attire. I learned a hidden talent of mine is photography. Apparently I am the Ansel Adams of taking pictures of my own butthole. And speaking of buttholes,

I learned it can be an entrance. It can. Another thing I learned, though, is that how much porn stars and comedians have in common. It's actually really, really eerie. We both have the same statistical chance of dying of a drug overdose or rectal trauma.

We have both sucked a lot of dicks to get to where we are. You know, literally. Figuratively. I hope figuratively. What else? We both spend a lot of time with seven-inch black things by our mouths.

And I think the biggest thing we have in common is our dads are very disappointed with our career choices. That's a minute. Fuck yeah. Is this your fifth time on this show? I think fifth, yeah.

Fun. One thing I noticed, it's almost like you're reading off cue cards. You're not like really, it doesn't really sound like you're just saying it. You're like almost

like reading a list. She's not feeling it, you're saying. A little practice, a little rushed kind of a, you know. It's kind of like you're like, these are the reasons

why I like to eat popcorn. Eating popcorn is good. Popcorn is yummy. You know, instead of going, I like popcorn, it's, you know, it's good.

Popcorn has carbs. I can eat carbs. You know what I mean. like popcorn it's you know it's good popcorn has carbs I can eat carbs you know what I mean well that's not really the point did I project this week though Red Van

did I project was I last not the same as it was last week son of a bitch yeah that one time he did that act out but it wasn't

well you can't eat popcorn but you'll take loads yeah it's protein. I can have protein. I like the Uggs thing and sweatpants. I've seen porn stars. They do wear that a lot.

Yeah. And dressy up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Funny, you know, you had a lot of, I think you were one of the first ones tonight that for one minute you had a lot of jokes within that and not just one long story.

You know you had four or five different and that's hard to get in in that short amount of time. So I thought that was funny. My only note I would give you is just and it really is hours on the clock. It just came across as like Red Band said a little practice. What was that thing where you acted it out?

What was that thing? When you're like oh the butt can be an entrance? And then you were like, no, really? Like you broke or something? Oh. What was that one? There was another,

yeah, that, yeah, yeah, that act out thing of that. And then the other thing is you had one joke that was really good, the black things by their mouths or something. But you said,

or no, sucked your way, sucked a lot of dick. Sucked a lot of cocks to get to where we are. But literally and figuratively, you don't even your way oh we sucked a lot of dick but literally and figuratively you don't even have to say that okay that's so implied that it kind of like it's a tag to a joke that you don't need it actually kind of probably discredits the joke a little bit you can just say that let that laugh be and you don't have to explain it i would say that too but other than that i thought it was really good especially i mean you've only done stand-up

seven eight times six seven times six I think this is the sixth. Do you think it's easier for you to do stand-up just in the beginning because you're used to having guys look at you? No, it's totally different. I'm super, super vulnerable. Like, my colon is on the internet, and this is the most vulnerable I've ever been.

Yeah, what sign is that on? Paulyshore.com. Yeah. And I'm glad I didn't pick Amber Alert to be my porn name oh that'd be an interesting one Amber Alert yeah I always thought Eureka Gold would be a good one Eureka Gold? yeah

I would really talk about more into the porn star clothing I really like what he was saying I really like that whole thing. They all wear the shit that says something on their ass like juicy or juiced or whatever it is. I've never seen that. Love me daddy.

I love me daddy. Are those things real when they do the fake agent things? The cast and couch? If you have an actual agent that does not happen to you. like the fake fake agent things the casting couch if you have an actual agent that does not happen to you no but new girls who are trying to get an agent

it's basically a pimp it's a pimp that has an office is what happens to new girls like when they get Craigslist specifically that one I think he's asking about with the brown couch I guess I'm not exactly sure which one of anything I guess I'm asking about all those things.

Are any of them real? Are they really bringing girls in for an audition for something? The videos are all fake. It feels that way. Some of the homegrown is actually real, but for the most part, it's all set up. How did you get started?

Family business. Oh, really did you get started? Did you have to do that thing? Family business. Oh, really? Seymour Butts? Behind the spanked door. That's a good franchise. Did you have to do that thing where you got to do it with a guy that he's going to tell you,

oh, that's good enough? No, you just start shooting. No, you just start. If you're a woman and you have a vagina, you can have sex on film. Right. You don't even have to be attractive. Look at me.

It's those funny storylines, though. It's those ones that are fake that they try to make real that come across even faker than the pizza delivery guy walking in the door to me. There's one called, I think it's Fake Taxi or something. Oh yeah, I've seen that Fake Taxi.

Why are you pulling over? This isn't where we're supposed to go. Where the guy will just be driving out in the middle of nowhere, out in the middle of a field, and there's just some girl wearing a short skirt that's just like, down here, I need a taxi. He's like, well, it looks like I found somebody who needs a ride. Yeah, there we go.

Because they're not quite good actors enough to play it. So when they have to be like, what's going on here? It seems like, oh, come on. Did you ever take any acting classes or anything for that? No, but when I was seven, I was in my elementary school production of Ricky Ticky Tumbo. So that prepared me for all the porn acting. Is Lexington Steel in that? Lexington Steel?

He scares me. He's got a huge dog. Yeah, he scares me Ricky's got a huge dollar it's unbelievable yeah it's pretty big massive a dollar every time I heard

you say that bro I would be so rich I love that you know what site that's on but you don't know what site she's on that's on ghettogaggers.org

ghettogaggers.org that's organization right ghettogaggers ghettogaggers unbelievable Mr. Marcus Earl do you remember do you remember Mandingo dot org. It's organization. Right. Dot go. Ghetto gaggers. Ghetto gaggers. Mr. Marcus. Earl.

Do you remember Mandingo? Oh my God. His cock is enormous. Mandingo's still around. Mandingo's still around? He's still around. He should be quiet. Wow. Biggest dick dog.

Not bad. Missy, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, Missy Martinez, everybody. I'm going to guess hers is going to be the new best Twitter account name. Missy X Martinez. Missy X Martinez. Missy X Martinez. Definitely the biggest Twitter.

The most popular Twitter. Yeah. Missy X Martinez. Is the X because you do X-rated stuff or because you don't know how to spell your full name? No. Wow. That's a pretty common.

Yeah, man. I thought I was the only Steve Thompson in the world. Martinez has probably got to be one of the most popular names, huh? Yeah, definitely. Because Martinez is just fuck nonstop. Martinez is and

How do you get so drunk at 9.15 other one. How do you get so drunk at 915, bro? How did you get this oil can? This guy lives the wolf of Wall Street. I was in Mardi Gras a few days ago and then I was here and I love Ari. You want to see my tits? This guy's like the pig of Wall Street. Look at him.

Fat and wasted. I love it. I love your style, man man The pig of Wall Street Okay Your next comedian Always a regular here Writes a new minute every week Put your hands together for Sarah Weinstein Pinatas

Who the fuck thought that was a good idea Let's give these kids a bat Teds, don't we go all the way across the... Piñatas. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? To give these kids a bat. Make them spin around blindfolded. And then beat the shit, so that they can beat the shit out of their favorite character. Thomas the Train. Imagine being at a party, guys, with just a crew of children beating the shit out of Thomas the Train for juju fruits. Scary.

It's like my nightmare. Right? That should have just stayed in Mexico. Like, let's just leave that there. It's real confusing. It's like, there's nothing scarier than a bunch of children fighting for candy just like foaming at the mouth for baby bottle pops for fruit roll-ups imagine an la piñata a beverly hills housewife nibs. Yogurt covered raisins. Thank you, sir. Good cow nibs.

Alright. That's all on piñatas. That's a lot of piñata. Piñata heavy. Yeah. That's the industry term. Definitely. It's a piñata heavy set. You're definitely beating a

paper mache goat instead of a dead horse this is how Variety would write it up if she was in New Faces that was a New Faces set a young Sarah Wineshank impressed

with her shiny boots and piñata heavy material that is how that is how they write things stupid man good crowd work material. That is how they write things. You are so stupid, man.

Good crowd work. That was so quick. When shit like that happens, the audience automatically senses it. So the quicker you just put that out, that gets them totally on your side. That was great how you handled that. By the way, don't ever do that at a real comedy show, sir. You'd be thrown out immediately. You're not going to remember that apology. You will not remember that apology.

And I will give you a little leeway because we know you have to take a cab back to New Orleans tonight. This guy's partying his ass off right now. And I love that after he said, I'm sorry, I apologize, he was very mature about it, but then he turned into a little kid.

He's just like, I'm sorry, I apologize. I know, I know. He's trying to not laugh at me. When he started drinking, he was clean-shaven. Oh, shit. Yeah, I mean, you're staying in the pinata pocket. That's for sure. You're definitely grinding it out in there.

Well, it was only a minute. That's not too long. That's not too long. That's what you're working on. You're beating it out kind of a thing. You do every one of these, right? Yeah. There weren't any punchlines.

That's a thing. Yeah, there wasn't really anything that made me go, ha, ha, ha, ha. It was a lot of premises that you haven't totally beaten out yet. Right. It'd be like. But that's fine. They're going to beat up this thing that looks like Tommy. What is it?

Thomas the Train. Thomas the Train. Yeah, but then it's like. And then there has to be a joke about how beating up trains would be something. Yeah. There's no level. I wanted to talk about Black Friday. Like how the person that did that to their favorite character then is the dude that beats the shit out of someone for a waffle iron on Black Friday. Oh, right. They say they're training those kids.

I forgot it. Or maybe Daria, like beating a woman or something like that. Yeah, it's definitely one of those. Sponge Bob or something, you know. It's definitely one of those topics where you or something, you know. It's definitely one of those topics where you're going to want to raise the stakes. You know, there's one part where you said something where you're like, that should stay in Mexico.

There should be an example of something else that you think should stay in Mexico. And when you, you know, you could say, it's like Bobbity Bob, something else Mexican, because it should have stayed in Mexico. Right, even that's very funny. It's like Bobbity Bob, something else Mexican, because it should have stayed in Mexico. Right? Even that's very funny. It's like Mexicans. By that I mean it should have just stayed in Mexico. It never should have come

up here. Anytime you say something, and somebody else did this earlier, anytime you say in comedy, something is like something, you have to give an example of it, or just don't set up a simile or metaphor. If you set up a simile or metaphor, you have to give them that. Otherwise,

it short-circuits them and then you're just taking a left turn. If that makes sense. Bugs are a lot like... I don't know, whatever it is. Bugs are a lot like Brian Redman. And then you'd have to have a joke. What would that be? They

mostly hang out with shit. That's not bad. You guys are shit, right? Yeah, exactly. This fucking guy. I know. He just does not understand how to be an... Alright. Sarah Weinshank, thank you so much. We're going to keep...

Weinshank. She's on Twitter. At Princess Shank. Is her name... I thought her name was Weinshank. Weinstank. She's on Twitter. I'm sorry. At Princess Shank. At Princess Shank. Is her name? S-H-E-N-K. I thought her name was Weinstank. Wow.

No, that's every girl that you went to Jewish college with. Yeah. What was that college you went to? What was that called? Yeshiva University. That's an insult! How much was Jewish Be careful with that fucking sword man

Mishiva June We have a very serious blow up To all that You mean it was Mishiva Juneversity Your final comedian of the night Put your hands together for Kimberly Connery Yeah What are you doing I hate this song Your final comedian of the night. Put your hands together for Kimberly Conn. Yeah!

Hey. So I've been having a little trouble staying in a relationship. And I don't get it because I feel like I'm pretty easy to date. Like, all you have to do is feed me. And all you have to do is feed me two things you have to do is feed me two things it's food and attention all the time and like I'm pretty I'm funny, I'm charismatic

I'm talented I'm cute, I'm sweet, I'm humble like what more do you need you know every time I think a guy's gonna leave me I just make sure I do Kegels while we're having sex next time

and cook bacon after. It seems to work all right. You know. Guys. If I had one more minute to spend, I'd spend it right here because it feels like forever right now. You could have just ended here

over a minute right there. You could have just ended it 51 seconds with your jokes. Well, why not? That worked good. She got it in in time. She got a laugh on it. That was good.

Who here thought when she says that you only need two things to feed her, one was cock? Did anyone else? I knew you were going to say that as soon as I wrote it, too. I was like, tonight Brian's going to be like, I thought one of them was cock.

I thought it was going to be sandwiches and cock. Wow. Just attention is fine. I really liked that humble part of it. I think you can... I like that. And then whatever the next thing was, I like, too. Kegels and bacon is good.

Yeah. I forgot my last line. I was going to say... Oh, we could tell you forgot that last line. I was going to say, and if he's rich, the only thing I let him pull out is his wallet. Yeah.

Maybe not. Maybe it's good I forgot it. I don't know. One thing that you did that I'll give you a compliment on too is towards the end when everybody realized that you, including yourself, that you forgot what you were going to say and you're running out of time, you were very

present and you were very like in the moment and said and went a whole different improv way and that made this connection with the audience and that was really good. Thank you. Unfortunately we have run out of time. Thank you so much, Kimberly Congdon. She's at Kimberly Congdon on Twitter.

My only problem was when she said that she was pretty and she was cute, but she should know it's Los Angeles, and you've got to know your place. Yeah. No, it's all coming to that humble thing at the end. I get it. What's going on, guys?

What do you want to promote? What's happening? Definitely follow at Earl Skakel, everybody. One of my favorite Patriots ever. Absolutely hilarious. Listen to his inappropriate Earl podcast, available on iTunes, and follow him on Twitter. One of my funniest friends.

Thank you, man. Great. Ari Shafir. You two actually do a podcast together, Punch Drunk, which has become very successful. At PunchDrunkSports.com. You can vote for Red Band on there, right? You can vote for Red Band.

It looks like you're locking it up. Voting is still open for that? It almost seems like you guys are just trying to draw attention here. Yeah, it's not leading to anything anymore. How long is this contest? I don't know. It's way too long already. It is.

A week. It started a year ago. I don't know. It's way too long already. It is. A week. It started a year ago. I don't know why. The Olympics of best guest on Punch Junk. But Ari and I do a podcast together, Punch Junk Sports, on iTunes with Sam Tripoli and at the team on Twitter. And August 9th through 11th is Shroom Fest 2014. Oh, yeah.

Please participate. Thank you guys so much for coming out tonight. I got a tweet from Ralphie May at some point during this apologizing, saying that he's sick. So I'm sure if you guys live around here, come back next week or the week after. I'm positive he'll be here. Me and Tony are going to be in Portland, Oregon April 18th, Seattle April

19th and for 420, big 420 show in Vancouver. That means this podcast will go up within a month. I was just going to say this podcast will never be up by April 20th. Things have changed since you guys were on the show. Thank you guys so much. Have a good night, everybody. Thank you. Good night, everybody.