Kitbag Conversations - Absolute Grubbery #1

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

In this episode, we take a break to tell some stories about war, military life, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. These episodes will be our fan mail podcasts where you can write a story or tell us something, its just a good old break from the usual, don't take it too serious <3

Well, I bet you never guessed when you came to the show. You'd be getting on the bus with me and doing some blow. Your mama's in the parking lot looking for you. She's gonna find you when I'm done. I'll cover with goo. You know, your mama's in the parking lot looking for you She's gonna find you when I'm done all covered with goo Ooh, mama's little girl got lost again Here on your nipples, sits on your box

In Oklahoma City, on considered a fox What you have to do for that backstage pass? Cause I found a poison laminate inside of your ass So come on pretty baby, suck my balls all night The drivers says we're leaving come on in light The spin of their retainer and do me right Oh, come on, pretty baby, suck my balls all night Yeah, that's it

Oh, you're good girl Yeah, I got So, I don't know if you... Did you listen to the episode with Tobin? Yeah, it was good one. Yes, so a little distance time? Yeah, so Tobin and I go way back. Tobin and I go back to like my sophomore year of college.

And we did like PT together, we hung out together, we drank, and all types of stuff. Like we were kid cadets together. And I think it was our junior year, which is like the most important year for ROTC cadets, is because you go to summer camp and you get evaluated. And based on that evaluation is what happens to you

plus like it's like a whole thing, like your grades, how you perform back at your school, your PT, your great, all that stuff. And then the summer camp's kind of like, how do you do under 30 days of pressure? And so we were leading up to that. And one of the ways we got ready were like these field training exercises that lasted a couple days. And in the American Army, you can go enlisted to officer. It's called Green to Gold. It's one way you can go from into like ROTC comeback as an officer. It's called green to gold. It's one way you can go into ROTC, come back as an officer.

And we had a guy who was fifth group, Dr. Seiznayn, but he still actually, he went back to fifth group. And he was like, I'll get some green burrays. I'll get some green burrays to come out. We'll get a company exercise of green burrays, like in 6 ODAs, a 12, or whatever. And they'll come out, they'll train the cadets, and, you know, fucking, 6 ODAs, a 12 or whatever, and we'll come out,

they'll train the cadets and they'll train with you, we'll do like patrol base ops and shoot like that. And so we did, and it was kind of a dance. They did like, because they got training out of it too, they did like a recruitment camp, so like we had to go through like this barbed wire camp, there were like dudes with like DMRs and machine guns pointed down at us, because they got to learn

how to like in process a rebel army and shit. And so we were the rebels. And so like they were, we didn't get guns or anything until then like we got to the camp and it was, it was really weird, but like they were with us the whole time. These like special forces dudes. Yeah. And so, but they were tough. They were, they were being pretty strict about everything. And like, you know, handing out grenades and stuff like that. And they were doing what they would do with a regular force, you know, like testing them, pushing them. And Tobin was the platoon leader.

And he had a really, they knew they knew they could fuck with him. And I think it was because our guys were like, yeah, fuck with Tobin Like give give cobit Tobin a hard time So like not only did they make him like the platoon leader, but they gave him like these shitty squad leaders who were like Fucking lost like putting gun teams behind like the the whole platoon online He's like no, this gives us a good feel to fire and like the the green breeze are just laughing, like this fucking cadet's gonna get all these, he's gonna mow down his guys once they stand up.

And Tobin's gonna have to deal with like a mass cast or something. And so I started stepping up. I'm like, hey, let's move the two forties over here. And like, and I started getting in the way of their plan and they're like, fuck, fuck. And so they give Tobin a hard day. And he's just like, I, on, we did meet those SF guys

because we did go back to fifth group as like support guys. And Tobin met one of them. And by then, Tobin was no longer like a small college kid. Like to give you an idea of how much they fucked with him. Like Tobin was like, went from 170 pounds to like 230 twisted steel and sex appeal. Well, he was the light heavyweight champion.

So like of third core out in Korea. So he's like, hey motherfucker, like, don't be never forgot how bad, how bad they were fucking with him bro. Like just, and when I say fucking with him, like they were like shooting guys, like, oh, that guy's dead, you got a bad, yeah, that guy's dead over there.

Oh, this guy's like torturing, it ended up being combatant, right? Cause they had like role players beating the shit out of each other, they're like, this guy's like torturing it enemy combatant right because they had like role players beating the shit out of each other. They're like, oh, he's torturing and what are you going to do? What are you going to do, LT? And he's just like having the worst day. And I was with the gun teams. And so they they they they they move us around. And so I get off the gun team and I move one one thing to the left. And so I get off the apex of the patrol base and I lay down. I put my rug up. And I got my little battle buddy with me and he's sitting there and I'm like hey you go ahead and change like because you know you're wet and shit you go ahead and change I'll sit here

I'll hold I'll hold the point and we're doing that and then I just hear rustling behind me and I'm like what the fuck is coming at us at like mock 12 like you just like like like like like Rucksack gun fucking leaves everything and then I just feel like the I felt like a truck tire rolled over me it was Tobin Tobin landed on me he's like hey what the fuck do you want he's like hey I'm no longer a platoon leader we switched out I was like no shit the fuck do you want? And he's like, hey, I'm no longer a platoon leader. We switched out. I was like, no shit. And then he pushes the guy, my battle buddy. He's like, go find somebody else.

And like, he's like, no, I'm fucking here. And so I'm like, hey, Tobin, pull security real quick. I'm gonna change my pants. Cause I'm soaked from the knee down. And I need to change my pants and shit. And he's like, yeah, no problem. So I'm changing my pants my pants like I'm like kind of like rolled over trying to push them and I got one hand on my rifle And all of a sudden I just hear Boom and I'm like oh

Oh shit like I'm I'm scared and like I'm frozen and I'm like feeling my fingers I'm like I'm not touching a trigger and For those that don't know, a negligent discharge is like death in the army. You might as well just go end your life, like take some 550 cord, hang it over a tree and get to work on yourself. Because what's about to happen is way worse.

And so I'm like, it wasn't me. And then the other guy goes, it wasn't me and Tobin goes, ah shit. Like, yeah. So I told him, and I look, And then the other guy goes it wasn't me and to be goes, ah shit And I look cuz I'm I'm I'm rolled over on my side and I'm looking back and all I see are green nods Because they they like they heard the bang and they looked over him and I'm like oh Shit they're gonna. Oh god to be here. They come and I just see like little green lights bounce in towards us as the special forces guys I'm like to be to be there covered for you

He's like, oh, I'm gonna bear crawl around the entire patrope some so fuck guys. I'm so fucked I'm so fucked guys like I'm like I'm laughing I'm like bro, you're gonna do they're you're gonna do squats until we wake up in eight hours like you're fucking dead And like it's like they knew they could fuck with Tobin. And it's just these green dots. They're slowly coming over. And slowly coming over. It's pitch black.

And like, I just hear the leaves rustling. And you just hear Tobin grabbing. He's like, come on man. He's like, fuck it. I'm dead. I'm dead, man. He's like, they've been fucking with me all day. They're gonna fucking kill me.

They're gonna fucking kill me. And all of a sudden, we just hear this voice and here Do any of you guys know how to clean the 240 machine gun? Silence pierce it's another female cadet. It's a female cadet and We're right next to the apex and And Tobin's like, I do. I know how to clean it. I know how to clean it. And so he gets up and he walks away.

And then four green burrays come over and they go, hey, which one of you just fucking indeed? And the other guy who's with me, because there were three of us, he's like, the Tobin, is Tobin gonna make us fucking take the blame? And like without skipping a beat I go oh the fucking machine gun slam fire they were racking it over there and they

They go over there like hey fuck nuts. You don't know how to work up a fucking machine gun He's like what he's like I heard you fire that he's like was it us and I was like yeah was you fuck like you're over here Making me deaf and shit and so they're beating up this machine gun apex tovens and gods green earth like and then all of a sudden I just feel another hand over my shoulder I'm like oh fuck it's a green beret like I can't gaslight anymore and I just it's actually to open to open comes back he's like holy shit we got away with the boys so I'm like grilling these two cadets right next to us, like how the fuck do you not know how to work in 240? He's like, but, but, it like porky the pig over there, because like he's just surrounded

by nods, like, but, but, but, but, Vanderbilt Medical University who were gonna go be nurses and So we were just like, Tobin's just laughing all night, you just hear them like, and this is the feed tray, a right numb nuts, okay? This is where you were fiddle fucking with the ammo, like I didn't suck it, and Tobin's just like, oh my god, okay, like he's like laughing in my armpit He's like next to me, just like, oh, I can't stop laughing. Like, I'm like, if you laugh, we're gonna get our asses kicked. And so I was like, just like, this tense, like, five minutes were topins, like, just snorting and like, turning red next to me under the red light.

And these fat little fucks in this machine gun are just getting blamed for all of this. And, and, hey, I was like, did you even fix that other chicks 240? He's like, I don't know what Goddamn thing about machine guns. I'm like, I'm dead, dude. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so,

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm like, did you hear an N.D.? I did it because they're little we had the M4 So all we you would have heard was a pop like It was just like this stupid moment where like the Tobin's blessed angel and like this moment of like do I rat out my boy? Or do I like sacrifice these two chunky fucks mixed to me? And I was like no I was like no these guys are taking the blame to me. And I was like, no. I was like, no, these guys are taking the blame. I'm not doing this.

We had a funny bush story. We were all doing my corporate promotions course. So I was a, yeah, I was a sapper. And you do this course and you need to become a Lance Colburn and we're about to go. And they do, they get from it all different calls. Sounds like me as an engineer, two infantry guys, a medic, a prevent med. So the chick, the medics that go out and spray for moseys and check water supply. And then there's this guy who was a yadi and a yadi is like halfway between

a logistician and a mechanic guy. I don't know what the fuck they do but they have all of parts and they work head and hand with the life mechanics. He was fucked. This was the most cool individual I've ever met in my life. This guy is a stalker more around because he's a fucking idiot. So his name was Rankin, right? I don't know his first name, not do I care. And he was Garty. And he's the most wackdads shit. So I was sitting on picket at night.

I was just stimulated and he didn't know anyone's out there. Al's a SEPHER was a formal role in the room's Commando Engineer. Yeah, it's a Commando Engineer in the UK and that, you meet Transfin Cross. Excellent dude. Hard as nails, just fucking hilarious. And I'm sitting there with a big head ranking and he's like, hey, you know, I can see better than that. I don't actually need my vision going on. I was like, what the fuck you talking about? Because when you see I'm colorblind, so you normal people can see, uh, you know, pitch black, 10 meters. I can see 100 meters.

It's like, what? I can see 300 meters in pitch black. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Because you have cousin colorblind. I can see everything out there. I can see a tree. I can see a tree. I can see a tree. And then I'm actually that I told the two that I really got a lot of conlonial infantry guys

because we also come back from FGATs in the same place. We had mutual shared experiences. And it's like, check out Renco, he can see 300 meters into the future. So every time we just like, we had the doctor who, you know, the he's the doctor who songs, like, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then we had that like, I'm stand by.

And every time he said something funny, he's shooting me to play the doctor's cute theme song. And we're like, all right, then we created this whole new back story, he actually could see 300 meters into the future and he created a new form of measurement called distance, which is time and distance. We did it together, this guy was funny, stupid. And then he'd say stuff like, he's also colorblind as well,

which is why he got put in his job because I think it's smart people that couldn't do anything else. And he is colorblind and he was putting shampoo on, but he didn't realize he was only using brown. He hates it on me. Like, he said, and he looks like a walking turd. And he was like, bro, will you just stop like bro, you've got something against green. It's like a brown dog is me and walking around. You're just fucking idiot. We're fucking, we had a guy in our

connect class. He, he was really good guy. I'm not gonna say his name because he, he fucking sat there one day and he drove by me and my buddy and I was wearing like a blue t-shirt or something like that like a nice blue t-shirt because I was in a fraternity So I was a little bitch looking, you know a little collar t-shirt And the other ROTC guy was wearing like a a green hue t-shirt like a little Easter egg colors Like a little nice looking guy polos and he drives by his truck. He goes oh you two match You fucking gay wads and we're like what? And he's like oh shit. I'm color blind and I'm like

So like and he's not everybody says like color blind soldiers I think because that guy's that guy went to the infantry. He's just like oh man He could like we were like confused and he's like it took of his like you guys are wearing different colors Fuck of color blind. That's right So the other the other one I was gonna share was a Dirty little dirty birdie story. Um, so And I don't know. So the listener is out there for Chuca, Arizona.

Is this like, it's on a hilltop. It's like a mountain on the border with Arizona and Mexico. And it's in the middle of nowhere. Like there's Sierra Vista College, and it's like a little community college. And then there's Fort Chuca where all the intel guys go. And then there's also like a border patrol agency So we can do a lot of cool training out there. There's like a tracking. There's Fuckin all the UAVs you can get trained up on there the p-tids the big balloons and stuff

So it's really secluded so they actually do a lot of stuff out there with border patrol and so I had a really good friend there Aaron We're probably gonna have him on the podcast. He was enlisted turned officer Intel officer and He was a little Mexican dude and we would get stopped all the time when we were leaving the base because it would be one white dude in a truck And a little Mexican just like where the fuck you guys go and like he's in the army and I'm like, okay, it's cool Put your night sticks away guys. We're not beating this one like He's a really good friend of mine and he was going through a divorce.

We were there and I got, I went through it with my girlfriend at the time and we broke up and it was just this weird day where I would just go to the gym after class every day and I would go find some cheap, cheap food, like a Chinese restaurant or something like that. And so Panda Express was like my go-to. And I would go there, I would just get like, white rice, meat, vegetable, get the fuck out of there. And I would go there, like every other day at least. And so this one girl, little Latina chick, one day,

just like, she's like, can I ask you something? And I'm like, yeah, what's up? And she goes, is it all right if I give you my number? And I was like all right And she's like really? I was like, yeah, and so I started talking to her and like within one week it was just like bam done like I was like, oh, I'm That was weird and so like yeah, it's just this stud, right? And so What fucking I get annoyed by it because she's like 18. I'm like like, yeah, it's just a stud, right? And so, went, fucking,

I get annoyed by it because she's like 18, I'm like, 18, 19, I'm like 22, 23 at the start. And she's like, we should do this, we should do that. Like, dude, I spend like nine, 10 hours in class, PT, like, I got nothing Monday through Friday, like, I'm gonna give you the weekend. And so I'm like, I'm not doing this, right? Like, this is stupid.

I'm like, you're a slam piece. I'm just gonna do this and move on with my life. Like, fucking, like, I'm not doing this, right? Like, this is stupid. Like, you're a slamp. I'm just gonna do this and move on with my life. Like, fuck it. And so, my buddy Aaron, who's going through his divorce, he's just like, bro, he's like, I see that girl coming by all the time. He's like, you dating her? I was like, no, I think I'm done.

He's like, you mind if, mind if your boy gets them digits? And I just like, I like gave took his phone. I gave him the number. I was like, she works a panda express and like, he went there, did his thing at a great time. And like, I was like, damn, panor express, fucking hell. No. And she got really mad at him too. She was, uh, she found out that he was still going through a divorce and she thought that he was marrying some shit and so she like blew up in his hotel room there and just started like throwing beer cans and shit and she got escorted out by security and I laughed at him. I was like he brought the fucking barracks buddy home idiot like fucking

he's like yeah that may have been bad but one day I get a call from Aaron and he's like, yeah, that may have been bad. But one day, I get a call from Aaron, and he's like, bro, he's like, you're never gonna believe this. And I was like, what's up? And he's like, do you remember that girl from Panda Express in Arizona? And I'm like, yeah, he's like, can you do me a favor? I was like, what's up?

And he's like, can you tell me what you did to her? And then I hear a boop as if I'm on speaker phone. I'm just like, oh yeah, I brought her back, and we did it like two, three times, and then I made her shower, then I woke up, and I kicked her out, and I went to IHOP, and then the next day she came back that same night. Like, she's just ready for it.

And then I was like, I've lasted like a whole weekend, and I'm just back-to-back slapped, just did whatever I needed to. And then by Monday, I was done with her. And then Aaron took her up and he gave her this and that and this. And like, he's like, yeah, yeah. And he goes, see Trevor?

And I go, what? He goes, Trevor's a captain here. He's like, I'm in Japan, bro. He's like, Trevor was talking shit. And he said that he was getting real fucking good and Sierra Vista and he was picking up chicks And he met a girl who worked at Panda Express and I was like No, and he's like yeah Trevor tell her the name and so he says the name I was like oh you're our little brother you're our little a he's like no, fuck you guys like I dated her for a month I was like oh

He went there a year after I was like do you know how many fucking siblings we have between you and me I told I told them I was like bro. I don't know how she got on post because she got on post with her own car and Aaron Aaron goes you didn't know and I was like what's up he's like her dad was a sergeant major on the post she was going to college nearby I was like I'm like no better than a fucking private out here being in the Sergeant Major's College age daughter. Like all these other things. But dude, this Captain apparently Trevor, whatever. He was blowing up Aaron in the skiff.

He was like, yeah, bro, when I was in Arizona, I was like, so good. Like those girls just fell for me. This one girl I did hurt for a month. I tried to convince her to come with me. And he's like, oh yeah, he's like, what'd you do there? He's like, there's not much around in the sea of it. So he's like, oh, she was going to college

and she worked at Panda Express and he goes, bro. My antenna just went, woo, forget. What's her name? And so he calls me and he's just like, Cody, tell me all the dirty things he did to the mess. I'm so sorry. I think every military has like a barracks buddy like in in Puckapaniel I did my M-13 course there and there's a chick called KFC Kelly and apparently she got the things that she went to KFC and she just put away for all these guys that are going through that basic training at the Puck-A-Ponial Base Man.

And then the Fide Engineers is a real famous one called Margot and she was like an old-elation I think, like at the time in the 40s or 50s short red hair and just prayed on young combat engineers going through their Thanksgiving training. And like we're just, every Friday our troop sergeant would put us all together. It's like boys, if you're going to get a sporties and those like the bar down the back base, like super easy to get to. Because we're in like Western Sydney and there's a mission to get to the city. So the sporties, which is a the sportsman's battle the closest one. He goes boys if you're going to go to

sporties do not fuck Margot. Like he was like talking to us like we're used to children because she's a sexual predator. The lean boys just do not go there. You're telling us no. But we all made it out of our own 30 I think I think I think I was I'm talking about 30 or 40 guys like fuck this we got a 40 and one of us is the fuck my guy and like that's that man one of the guys really took a high and shielding guy and like you may not know but if you type in Pauline Hanson is a politician in Australia like this chick Looked like Pauline Hanson like this old angry red-headed lady

And yeah every I you take course and you can talk to any combat engineer Did they're training to point out I don't say two thousand and five to two that's two thousand and fifteen and they're every course knows my go the fucking every course knows, Margot, the fucking statue of the predator. Oh Jesus Christ. How old was she? I don't know, two old. The world, like, young world, like between 18 and 22 and she just praying, like a sexual predator. And she take your home and then she dropped off the next morning.

I had stories that she looked at breakfast the next day and apparently she had a daughter, a young daughter as well, the same like roughly similar ages as us. though I think she was just like didn't care I think she even went to the base and trying to pick up the guys as well oh man I mean I was gonna say be be honest with yourself if there was like a whole entire base of young horny women that way you'd be like a whole entire base of young horny women that way. You'd be like, I'm like, that's what you're gonna be. You're like, what do you mean?

Yeah, yeah, you know, it's a sorority. And I know, uh, did fucking, that's what me and Aaron said. We were like, bro, like you can't blame her. Like if you have like an entire base of fucking intel nerds and you just work your way through them, like it's not, it's not that you're dumb. It's that she's awesome and she's getting hers, right? Apply the pie when you're hungry. It doesn't matter where you get it. You can get the pie from

the service station or you can go to a gourmet bakery. When you're hungry, you leave. Fuck. No, because we used to do targeting meetings and there was, it's actually really funny because my wife doesn't know her, but it was her old National Guard unit before she went active, duty was there. And there was this big fat blonde girl who used to have like one of those stupid fucking mugs. Like I can't believe it's the Monday mug and it was like this big fat coffee cup and we would be doing targeting meetings and like they didn't trust her she was like a first lieutenant and she's just

big heavy set woman and so yeah I see the time we're good and so yeah but she would be there and they they only trusted her to run ISR management. So she would basically be like, the drones are gonna be up from 8am to 2pm. It's like, whoa, good job Jennifer. Like, I'm sorry. But she was huge. I mean, just like, waddle huge. And about the four month mark, because I brought, it was me, it was the Lithuanians,

and then I had my buddies who were Apache pilots, and we would go there to kind of see what we could pick apart and stuff. And like, okay, we can fit some stuff there, we can work with this, or like, who are you guys killing this week? Okay, we'll do this guy and stand stuff. And like, one day, I think it was like month seven or eight being there. Like, I turn around as we leave, and I look at the guys, I was like, is it just me? Or is Jennifer starting to get hot? And they're just like, yeah. Like, yeah.

Like, yeah. I was like, we need to go. Oh, we need to go to. I was like, we need to go home. Like, yeah. Like, just waddling up there with the pointer. Like, I'm like, and this is where, like, yeah. Yeah, the trumpet.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Nobody told me about carbs, like, dude. That was like the metric stick. Yeah, the trumpet. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d If I could go home at the six month mark, I'd be normal too, but like I'm starting to lose it. Yeah, I was with nine months and then it turned down to six a little bit later. So my, my F Gantriff was nine months a little bit older because the, the movement dies actually for the, our section. So we're like, we're wearing like DPCU. We had like stars and like, we're the last one, little like, like a bag tag. And the next rotation had brand new multi-cam uniforms the size or a bit more

Newer and it looks legit and then we're doing handover patrols and then it's kind of like what what the fuck you wearing DPCU Why you wearing the multi-cam issue? It's like where MCF two Back to the base now and it's like you guys, we're gonna be back to the base now. And it's like, you guys don't even meant to be. Yeah, someone's gone. So maybe a handful of people there. And we're like, geez, we're just waiting. We just dumb diggers, man. We just go all out all the way until someone tells us

to get on the helicopter and then we go, we'll do it in like patrols, like when we do the next rotation, like two, three weeks. I'm stupid. That's what I got it. That was it. I've got a funny boy for you though. So we're doing an exercise and this is an engineering section.

Come on up. I had eight guys under the seven guys, including myself, the eight men team. We're attached to the same unit every time. It's an infantry unit six RR. Good dudes. And so I was a corporal. We're going to attach to a company, Delta Company, and then we just get pimped out to the different platoons

depending on what activity. And so three things, this is what, I was coming with exercise, it was 2014, 2013, and we'll do a lot of fire obstacle breaches. We're just chilling in the admit area and this guy that I did the corporal course, we were lucky and that's Absolutely legitimate dude. He's another Corp of land. It's like Dingo

Tell me over here. Oh, she said right? You know the buzzer that He said hey Dingo I got you got to be one of my soldiers this guy is like special. He's got the best story. I was like oh oh, okay, cool. So mind you're in a company area, right? Like it's like 200 grants, 30 ins like, you know, 30 engineers showing him. And then he goes, oh yeah, we get over here. And then up comes this like young man, like 19, 18 year old infantry, pimples, lawns, it's like this weird little dude comes over and starts talking and you can tell he's from the country and speaks very basic and I was like, oh yes, yes lucky, I was like, tell him a story, I don't want to tell a story, you tell my friend the story now, he's like hey everyone listen to this, it's gonna tell a story. And I was like, oh okay, and it was all right, cool, cool.

And he goes, well, my friend said, if you microwave a banana, you cut it in half, and you have sex with it, it's the closest thing to a woman. And I was like, hey, okay, come on, come on, let's go. So I'm not going to told you how long to microwave it for. And he gave himself a very degree bird, and he had to turn the hospital and but the the way thing is he has never worked. You took it to the hospital Gabby? I was like, oh my mom! He didn't tell me!

Burntie is gone. He has a good hospital. Explain to everyone, explain it to me. It's very different burns. He's drunk. Anyway, that's the same exercise that some idiot. So it was like, you know, life, I'm just gonna breach. And then it was the, before we actually assaulted, yeah, I tell everybody to just drop the shit like bombs. But some idiot fucked up the grids,

and as we were approaching obstacles, the FTP got bombed, so we're walking and behind us, that's not an exploding, like that's a good fucking grids. They messed up the grids, they hit the wrong spot, and literally the captain that was ordering the attack got a bit antsy and we departed, like, you know, five, 10 minutes early.

And if he hadn't done that, we're all really in the twat. Yeah. And it's been training. And actually if he's laying up and not tillery go, he was in the state table and that happens. And he's like, yeah, man, that was fucking bad. He's gonna have a couple of rounds before they realized what was going on.

So it was like a school five or effect. It's sort of like, I don't mean four rounds, just kind of landing. And I go, check for a check five. Yeah, it was a good time. But I think the pinnacle that time was hearing about is the same thing. It's the same thing.

Oh, fine. Check. At one point, me, my dad and Tobin were all in fifth group together. So my dad was at the headquarters. Like the group headquarters, I was at a fourth batai and Tobin was in the sport time. And and so one day he goes you guys aren't gonna believe this like come come to my office I'll buy you lunch like you just not and I'm like what happened

He's like I cannot explain this over the phone and I was like oh god So for those that don't know the support battalion and the fifth groups or like any support or like special forces group is like Fucking criminal. It's the it's the closest to a penal battalion you can fucking get like it's literally Normal dudes who just kind of do like a pre-screen No selection and then they're thrown in there with officers who have to be like Requested so you have these really good support officers with total shitbags, because they don't have any rules, because it's like special forces, so they have all this leeway. And so one first sergeant told the story of how a co-head hid under a fucking container,

and ran away from the MPs, covered in conditioner, like basically fought his way through the barracks covered an oil and conditioner Head under a container naked butt naked and was in the middle of December snowing and when they found his ass Shiver and put a blanket on him the only thing he said is I guess I'm not going to ranger school like like Shit like that haven't all the time One of my privates tried to sell all the office chairs like on fucking Facebook marketplace. I was like, what the fuck are you doing?

Like he got beat up. But Tobin's takes the cake. So Tobin calls us, he's like, yeah, I was the officer on duty last night. And the CQ, which is the guy who watches the desk at the barracks called him and said, hey sir, we got a problem. Uh, private Jones here is on the step and he's feeling really sick and he won't get up

and there's all types of problems and so he runs over to the barracks and he's like, what's going on? And sitting there on the step, have I told you this story? Huh? Oh God, this is going to be a, I can't wait to see your face when I die. Cause I can, your video so I can show you what happened. So, he told me it's there and old Jones has got a handful of throw up and he's just like sitting on the steps and told him's like, what's up? Are you okay?

And he's like, I'm OD and he goes, what? He goes, I'm overdose. I need, I need to go to the hospital. And so he's like, all right, let's go. And so the kid gets up and he starts to carry and waddle with his throw up. And he's like, put that down. Like, put the fucking throw up down. Like wash your hands, get in my little Prius and let's go. And so they get in the car, they go to the hospital, they handcuff them to the bed, and the MPs get there and they're like, what's going on? And he is OD and he's having all these problems. And they're Tobin's talking to the MPs outside.

And they're talking, they're talking, and then the nurses like his vitals are all types of fucked up right now. Like, it looks like he's just constantly taking methamphetamine and he's like, what do you mean? And the MPs are like, we stripped him. Like, it's not, they're like going through his clothes and all this shit, Tobin's helping them. They're looking around the room like,

where the fuck is this methamphetamine? And so Tobin sits there and he says, hold on, I gotta position this so I can do this in the camera and he looks at the guy and he says, hold on, I got a position to this so I can do this in the camera. And he looks at the guy and he goes, he goes, where the fuck is the meth? And he goes, it's with me, sir. He's like, you're fucking naked in a scrub private. Where the fuck is the meth?

And then he goes, it's in me. And he goes, help me stand up. And so Tobin helps him stand up. And the guy walks, right, because his handcuff, right, his handcuff to the vet. And he goes help me stand up and so tovon helps him stand up and the guy walks right cuz his handcuff Right his handcuff to the bed and he reaches around Digs up his ass and not one tug but two arm lengths of fucking surgical tube full of methamphetamine And he goes he pulled that out So if you stay if you're listening to this right now, I want you to kind of hunch over reach up to you ass and go one arm length

Two arm lengths And like that's how much surgical tube was in this boy's ass and it was you rip started Yeah, he rip started. He's a long one bro And he's just full bowl of meth and fett of me. And when I tell you my dad, who was, before he became a ward officer, he was a medic. He's like, how much, he was like measuring, he's like, how much fucking, what kind of meth was that?

And like the kid was carrying, probably like 10 grand worth of meth in his ass. And like, my dad's just like, two arm links, two, two was like, yeah, my dad's like, two arm legs, two toes. Like, yeah. My dad's like, how long do you think he started with that? And the toe man's like, what? He's like, my dad's like, yeah.

Do you think you just sat there one day with like a chapstick and was like, okay, that's two pills. Let's see if I can fit that. And like, just like, worked his way up. Or do you think he just was like, no, I got this. Give me that six feet of fucking surgical tube. I'll rip it up my ass. And my, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, like but yeah I was like damn dude and he got a general discharge for that he got like a just

an average like no honor no no I would love to know what that kid is up to now are you kidding me? I bet he's got an only fans that can really fans He's making like 25,000 dollars No challenge to be over a quest to you I bet he watched that video and said pussy. So yeah. Yeah. Oh, fucking, I said he was a fuck. I mean, honestly, there comes a time when you hear and you see shit like this, that

like your banana kid, you're like, you know what, I'm not even grossed out, I'm impressed. You went, you were getting third degree burns and you're like, oh, you know what, I'm gonna keep going. It might just work. it might fall out. It'll cool down Yeah, why don't you test it man? Why don't you test it put your finger in the sauce? Yeah, like you do it like a baby bottle You like put it on your wrist. Yeah Well, when you when you're holding just I make you know I'm like playing playing choices. You can just hold up. It's like I'm just gonna man that know I'm like clean clean choices you can just all hold up he's like I'm just gonna man that but I don't it looks pretty damn good

just sitting there in the D-Fac just like hey one banana yeah one banana Yeah So I need my fucking vitamin C put that great put down So fucking Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force like they're fucking the grapefruit like Like a down in his breakfast like what How do you guys so you're amazing? Yeah Fuck I did I hated that shit this fucking you'd like you'd'd see a sergeant who's only 28 and he looks old as balls.

He looks like 40 years old. He's wrinkly and then you look over at the Air Force guy and he's just like, he's 55, a curdle, a maculent skin, no gray hair on him and you're just like, fuck you, bro. Like, you like... Struggles was real. The man of people that you've seen, like how?

How and why are you here? Yeah. You you've defied the laws of nature. If you if you were an animal, I'd put you down. Yeah. Who somebody somebody in the discord was saying something like that, they're like, I got the basic training and I was so happy I got three meals in a warm bed. I was like you're the worst you're the worst people who show up and like you're just like

Oh basic trainings awesome it's so good and oh I know who it was it was fucking it was Mark Mark was the one who said he's like yeah I got to fucking Basic training and it was like I just do what you tell me to drill sergeant. I was like you're a Convert you're a Convert Oh man, I fucking hated basically training. I did not enjoy it. I was like 18 60 kilos Ring wet and I had an artillery guy of OmbaDee as my recruit instructor and he just fucking hated me I don't know why he used to

like throw me around. He threw me under the bed when we get, when we let him get out from under the bunk fence. Like you stay down there. He was just keep going to check the queue as I'm trying to get out and like just you know you just throw me around and start. What am I doing here? You were a Harry Potter. Get under the stairs. I'm just saying I'm really dumb stuff.

I couldn't say Bumblebee. I was like, yes, Bumblebee. It's like, Bumblebee, what's up? They make you very angry. Oh man. Oh my. All right. What is that?

Give me your, do you have a list of things that I'm supposed to yeah go through? I want to ask you some stuff so we have as you know Australian to help make proper English And the Australian Army or the defense force has Even more nicknames which are fucked Okay, I'm just gonna try to get well hold up you you gotta tell them how some fucking chick you were teaching sat there and said where did you learn to speak English? Like, that was so good.

The interpreter? Yeah she was like where did you learn to speak English? Like, you know what I mean? I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. We're just like interpreter that was trans, that translates to Arabic. Um, from fact, Jordanian Arabic is the most purest form of Arabic and parents. So you find that a lot of really good Arabic linguists are from Jordan. Uh, it's the most, uh, closest to MSA. So anyway, so I was giving you a lesson and she just get foaming like a shatter

Way from you lady like please just trying to teach a lesson as you guys. I'm sorry I just couldn't understand a word that you're saying. Are you speaking English? It's like yes, I'm Australian. They go Where did you learn is English your first language? Did you learn English? I was like, yes English your first language? Did you learn English? I was like, yes, I was born speaking it. I don't understand what I've heard, I'm really sorry. I keep up your lesson, I just start making stuff up because I don't understand. I'm like, fuck! I apologize. I'm just trying to stay in the theater, doing the job wrong. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm in the Australian army we have angel rapers. Angel rapers? What's Joker? What are you doing angel rapers?

That's got to be something airborne. I'm going to go with paratroopers. The air defense regiment. Oh, I was going to go on the ground with you. I'm helicopters for full angel the studio to helicopters for full of angel wakers. Angel wakers. Alright, that's fine. There's a huge list, and I want to go.

Okay, he's on for you. It's time to go to the story. Bang fuck. Bang fuck. What's the bang fuck? Is that when you, Andy, like negligent discharge? BANGS FUCK! BANGS FUCK! Uh... Is that when you... N.D. like negligent discharge?

N.D. negligent unauthorized discharge. Yeah, I'm banged in. Yeah, really disabagenable. BANGS FUCK! BANGS FUCK! My dad used to tell me all the time. He's like, the ambush will be Initiated by the sound of a 240 bolt sliding forward followed by a fuck

Click Oh, I... Uh... What? Who's a blowie? A blowie? Blowie. The job. Oh god. Uh, given how Australia is poor and probably still uses blowpipes, I'm gonna go with... It's a guy who uses a blowpipe. Like... probably still use blowpipes. I'm gonna go with it's a guy who uses a blowpipe. Also then it's a blowfly. We first do Australian Army Medical Court Environmental Health Personnel. That's horrible. Oh good. I've got a couple more. We have some really good ones. I remember if you were caught off a funk or officers got caught,

a lot of what the hell does funk mean? It's like a friend of no-carned. Or I think the enlisted versions of thinkable. And there was a what the hell's a thinkable? Like a fucking idiot no-carned lights. You're a thinkable. You're a no card lights. You're a finkle. You're a cool finkle. You're a finkle, you're a fink.

Just one more like that. There's been a few folks that I've had that privilege of serving with, not too sure. I think, oh, I'll say something. Somebody's a good, somebody's a really crap. Somebody's a like, I've never heard, and I'm like, what the the old crusty boys would say. I think I'll say something. I think I'll follow more.

I got to you. Oh yeah, there's fingers here. I'm pretty happy with that. Oh yeah, there's fingers here I'm pretty happy not. Front bump. What's a front bump? A front bump. As in front in direction, bump being being you went. Where are you going to front bump? A front bump. Is that a truck driver he's a tone for females he's so stupid he's so stupid

he's a guy that's a fool he'sife through. Oh, so he's a good one. In your barracks, do you have a truck that drives around? And you can buy stuff for him, see the drinks, or food from him? Yeah, yeah. What do you call that? A gut truck. We call it the fat truck. Right, the fat truck.

And it's usually a lady that drives it. We call her the pie mole. So you're the pie mole here in the gut truck or the fat and the chicken and usually a lady that drives it we call her the pie mole so you the pie moles in the gut truck or the fat truck but do you have like a place we can get you know from start let me do you have new stripes or new badges that you take them to a seamstress and it's so it yeah yeah what do you call that we okay so this is actually really funny because you said it was like a store where we do a... Fuck, we go to like surplus stores where you go to get your uniform done and stuff like that.

OK, so we call them Mama Son, because they're always ran by Korean ladies. So we owe it to him. Mama Son, they know. They know. They're good. Yeah. Do you know what we call them we call

the speech bitch So we go legit you go hey boss. I need to go I need to go see the speech bitch I need to get my stripes so I'm so much more beautiful I know that's an acceptable time and my friends tell me that he I go, and that was an acceptable time and my friend was telling me that he He transferred to join the police up leading the army and they both see like similar thing when they get Badges whatever get so today you know so my uniform. So yeah, that's he said a stitch bitch. Not excuse me what? Let's just say use that

I think we ever said it to the person space Yeah, everyone knows. Nine is the stitch bitch. Oh man. Good times. All right, I got, I got. I'm excited now. I got two for you. Go. There you go.

What is, what is this? Look, you just, so just so you know, he's looking at the nozzle, he's looking at the nozzle to a five gallon fuel or water can I Think I know what you're going to say Yeah, it looks like a photo. He's here. No Jerry can. Yeah, what do you call it? You guys come don't you do you have a call of donkey dicks He was called donkey dick. Yeah, we call them donkey dick.

Ha ha ha. All right, I got I got one more. What's the? It's what it is. It's the Humvee cable that allows you to their jumper cables for a Humvee. Yes, actually, this is cool. We're the same ones we use for used throughout ABC. And it makes it. I think I know what they could, but I want you to tell me. You know, you know, I love saying

it. And I had an African American platoon sergeant and he thought they were the fun. He's slave cable. I forget. What are you cable? Who comes up with this shit? And why wasn't accepted for so long? I was, oh my god. Oh, so what got me was when I learned what, I don't want to hijack this. You got one more by the time. Do you know the British Paris call fucking leg infantry? Okay, so in the American army we call them leg, like

leg infantry or like they're supposed to be like straight leg, which means like you weren't allowed to bless your boots back in World War 2 But it's like like we call them a leg But I swear to God like everybody hates it. They're like that's so stupid Like the fuck you you jump out of the plane and then you get there and then you walk to fuck face like The dumbest shit I've ever heard is when the Paris call their regular infantry They call them hat because they just wear hats They don't get a f- hey hat, who the fuck? He doesn't have a beret. He's a hat. See? I'm creative. You fucking stupid.

You're a hat, you know what? We had so many like lateral transfers that come across me. Some really good, I'm doing the wrong stuff, some really popular stuff as well. Like the ones that were really good at jobs that, yeah, I think it's 22 years, you have to return in the British arm, I think. Oh, you still have to come, if you're an English student, a commission or a label, whatever you get attention. So you usually get some real switch guys that like, oh, I still want to say, I'll just try to turn it on. I mean, drop a couple of rings and that's like this one guy man.

He was a Scottish guy and he literally said like he was like talking with marbles in his mouth on the water. He had no fucking idea what he was talking about. We had to say the guy who was like he was a sergeant. He used to love calling me a fucking monk. I was like everything I did is is like, Dingo, you fucking mom. I was like, I don't even know what a mom is, but I know I don't like being caught at, or you call your fucking space kid at, like, you're right. What's your name? You're right.

You fucking space kid at. I was like, oh my god. You really want to talk to Jake? I think Jake could have some really good ones as well. Jake, Jake has a good one and he won't let us share. And then what was funny is somebody in the discord when we were talking about Trannies, I said so that was like, I was like, hey, have you, you were,

I saw you laughing in there. I was like, why weren't you commenting? And he's like, I've been more Trannies and you've had hot meals, son. I was like, what the fuck? Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like I would bring that like If he would have If he has Oh I knew a dog Canada lost his community to the trade he did it

Yeah, and I see be like a said like a company to Malaysia It's like a it's like a standing thing from the male Malay and Malay emergency. And as an Australian infantry company size group that sits there every year and rotates it in an hour. And in the rock time they can go travel Asia. And he's like, I can't wait. I'm just like, I'm like, he's just banged a dude. And he's like, oh, yeah, this is great.

I was like, yeah, you know, that was a dude. Just, oh, fuck. And you know what, what do they work backtracking? And then he's like, I'm gonna go, yeah, I was just doing very oh fuck You know what I mean we're backtracking and then he's fired up to I'm gonna go to do buddy Okay, you know I'm such a cool dude Funny Gusty At that point you just gotta go

Get it out like you just gotta go, get it out. Just come and lay it on. Just get it over with, guys. I didn't know. They were talking in there and all the marine guys. Somebody said something. It was Faper Lock, who's an army guy. And then all the Marines started chiming in,

but you have no idea. You just give up once you go to Southeast Asia. Just let it happen. I had one friend who's like, he's a caring guy. He's like, yeah, you just, you just give it a wait for it and just pretend you're going right through. And I'm like, that's fine.

He's just like, that's fine. He's just like, he just goes to his happy place. He just like, his happy place. I just like closing his eyes and just like fucking let it happen. Like happy, happy, you will have a place. Yeah, happy, happy place, the minute, right across the screen. Yeah, yeah. What is training running around the world in the wind? Hey,

when you think about, when you think about how cheap it is to live there and you're like sitting there and you're like, you know what, I got a shit ton of bills to pay. You know, Texas are bending me over, but I'm a straight white, a murk and male who's got freedom and God on his side. And then you look over and then there's that guy party in in Thailand I'm like five bucks like all these training And he's just like what's up? What's up? Like my disability pays for a laugh of luxury Here's really waiting in law My wife said so how I said something about that. I did I broke it down I was like all right $800 for a high rise apartment. Food is $500 a month.

All right, I got to put in my, you know, my transvestite hooker budget. That's like 300 books. I was like, my disability can pay for me to live in Thailand and die. Like, I'll be good. Like, he could live like a kid. He could. Just remember, remember this thing. That's what's going on.

I'm going to be a kid. I'm going to be a kid. I'm going to be a kid. I'm going to be a kid. I'm going to be a kid. I'm going to be a Thailand and die like I'll be good He could Remember Big That's such a good moment on time Bored like it's So much transport. It's like it's chick's fix.

That's all we guys would do. Well, man, that's that's like I think that's an hour, but I've got we got really. Yeah yeah it's been like an hour and so if you guys have stories you know hey submit them absolute grubbery at gmail.com and then you can also send it to us in DMs and we'll get that we'll save the the the dude's voicemail for uh for next time. I apologize John you said an absolute cracker a story, but I'm gonna try to find a way. I'm gonna write it out. I don't want to do it justice. It was told so beautifully. I was just dying. Next time next time that's gonna be here and he's gonna have Somalia stories again or like the fucking. Okay, you know the biggest gr grubbs you know the biggest fucking grubs in the

world up marines so I can not need to tell some stories because marines are the biggest grubs yeah oh no he and I love it somebody so Tobin had this saying and I've I've taken it with me he's like he said one time he's like 90% of dudes of bagnafatic you know they're 10% or a lot. Yeah, I only, I'm sorry, I fucked that up. It's like 100% of dudes are fucked fat chick. Only 10% will actually tell the truth. And those are my friends.

And like I said that in front of Tank Diary and AFV recognition and Tank Diary was like, yeah, I've had a fatty before. And I was like, yeah, same here, a fatty before and I was like, yeah, same here, a couple. They're like a moped, you know, you don't want to, they're fun to ride, just don't like your friends see you. But, yeah.

No, we're like, AFV's like, nope, no fat girls, never, ever, ever, nope. And then, I'm going back and forth with AFV. And then all of a sudden sudden Matt comes in out of nowhere He's like I've done Duty things to this one fat girl That they they're barking on the door of assault how bad I spank that ass. I'm like what the fuck He's a grub Oh He's a grub. He's a grub. Oh, God.

That's what we love you. Yeah, that's it. But it was not a noir, too. It was like a grub. Yeah, I was just going back and forth with AFE, like, you know, like, could be in a bigot. You know, some people need, you know, who cares if she's fat? He's like, no, no, no, no, no, that's just like a borderline.

Road her into the ground, put 200,000 miles on that shivvy. Like what? Like, I'm doing. Wait, we just like this one bad chick, he's the hangin' on the guys and come on base. Today was Montana, and Nick name was one tonner. Let's look at that. I guess that was he. Everyone, yeah, she was part of the run all the time. everyone yeah she was passed around old and a football what they want. From a compared zone and in the Marines case you probably have some old fun. Hey you know what it's, nobody's more open-minded than a soldier in heat right?

Like just fucking unhinged, just lowered jaw just like, you know, I could get barred, Neil, GB, TQ community. I could get real fucking forward behind that. Like, I can't, what? Do you damn? I'm like, I can't do it. Chill. I have to pull the car in thing. Oh, dude, we, I know I saw it when we were gonna go,

but like, I, when we've said a lot of things, I can probably get us in trouble, but I need to find him and have him tell the story. Because he was a gay pilot who drove Black Hawks, and he used to sit there all the time and dudes would make remarks like, oh, fucking brigades, fucking us in the ass, and he'd be like, no, you'd enjoy getting fucked in the ass.

Like, he's like, he's like, this ain't getting fucked in the ass. He's like, this is more like getting fucked in the face. And I'm like, Greg, damn. And he's just like, what? And then he went through a divorce with his husband. And he's like, bitch took all the A key of furniture. I swear to God, when I get home, I was like, oh, it's like, it was so good.

I was dying laugh, and I was like, it doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't fucking matter. Soldiers are same just fucking sit near pitching a bet as fucking divorced Do you got you got anything I know of like Do you want to read I am getting chat DPP to write? Oh, no, but I do want to read, I am getting chat TPC to write an erotic novella, right? Okay, so I won't do this, I will save it for next time, but I'm getting chat TPC to write an erotic novella about all corners to coal. Very, very cool dude, very smart man, very professional man, and I thought, you know what,

you need these own six book and It's a better escape a little later. I'm getting chatty p3d and what I'll do already to chapter When I can't hear them absolute grubbery and then I'll put it up for it So And we get I swear to god, he's gonna kill us. He's gonna be like, I'm not gonna tell him what's happening. He's just gonna come in like, I think I'll do time. I think he's here.

I'm joking about it. And then someone mentioned, hey, he's happening. You legit like, I am legit now. I'm happening now. So I think Coln is and he's scared. I think you're not happy. He's scared of what's going to happen. Uh, I love Cole so much because he's over there doing like real professional honest to God work and us over here. We're just like fucking, woo! He's like, fuck you guys. I'm like, I'm like the cheap, nasty, poor, marigold, of the social media intelligence community. Like, they're taking one seriously, like sometimes they's serious and then you like you must be sober today

That's what the serious pose I'm actually learning something must be sober. What is going on? First of all, the way to go I'm just the ramings of a drunk an idiot nice I mean it It gets the gets the people going. Like, people going. All right, next up. So we got more for next time. But all right, guys, absolute grubbery.

Shit, tons of fun. I had a blast. I can't wait for Matt to come back. And then he's going to have to get all his buddies to writing. All right. Bye. Like, alright, bye.