Knowledge Fight - #4: Research and Stand Up

Episode Date: January 18, 2017

On this episode, Dan reports back to Jordan about some research he was inspired to do after listening to some of Alex Jones' special reports, filed while he was on the road.  Topics covered include: What do statistics really look like for Infowars? How many radio stations in Kane, PA is Alex broadcast on? Does Alex hate that he is being forced to talk about pee? Should Alex give it all up and become a stand up comic? A couple citations for the research done: List of stations Alex Jones is broadcast on Infowars' affiliate contract Infowars' press packet FFS LLC's press packet

Andy and Kansas, you're on the air, thanks for holding. So, Alex, I'm a first-time caller, I'm a huge fan, I love your work. I love you. Hey everybody, welcome back to Knowledge Fight, I'm Dan. I'm Jordan. This is a show where I, who listened to too much info wars, and Alex Jones sit down with my friend. Jordan, who has absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on with Alex Jones.

And I try and explain what's going on in the wonderful, wonderful world of a delightful Texan. He is occupied Texan. Occupied Texans. Accupied Texans. So, today, like over the last week, Alex has been out of town, and you know, there hasn't been a whole lot of content coming from him. So, we've had to dig deep and look into some of the special reports he's filed from the road. And so, I've collected a couple of those, plus a little special bonus at the end of the episode.

Alex Jones rambling, man. So, Jordan, what do you think? Oh, god. Why would you even ask me a predictive question? So far in all of our episodes, even the Y2K one, my predictive question was, we would at least talk about Y2K. And no, it was tanks. It was fucking tanks.

Yeah, of course. And there's a concentration camp. Yeah, a concentration. Okay, yeah. So, okay. So, we're talking missive from the road. Alrighty. And when will we say is around the time of this?

You know, it's these reports were filed between like the 10th and the 14th of January. All right. Now, 9th and 13th. 9th and 13th. Yeah. So, today is the 16th when we're recording this. Yeah, we're recording over the weekend. Yes.

Okay. So, I'm going to go with, he's definitely not talking about the Russian allegations about Trump being compromised, right? Well, okay. He does bring that up later. He does bring that up, but a little bit. Yeah. Okay.

Look, I wasn't going to ask you to just whole hog a guess. I want, now I'm trying to, now this is a fun game for me. Okay. Okay. I'll give you a ballpark to get it. Okay. It has to do with media personas. Are we going back to Megan Kelly?

No. He's done with Megan Kelly. He's done with Megan Kelly. Actually, she does get name dropped. God damn it. Media personalities. Male. Male media personalities.

Nope. I got nothing. It's Glenn Beck. Oh, what? I am so sick of looking at Glenn Beck. I am so sick of hearing Glenn Beck. I like Tucker Carlson. I agree with half of that.

Which half? I like Tucker Carlson. You like Tucker Carlson? No, Tucker Carlson has the quote, big prime time slot on Fox News. And I think that signifies the fact that the coup against Fox News to put in even more globalist operatives like Bill O'Reilly and Megan Kelly failed. But that said, I want nothing to do with Fox News to be clear, because they, they had some vice president once till the New York

Daily News that I asked for a job at Fox. I didn't get one of that. Really needs to be mad because they want to act like they're the Emerald Castle. There were the yellow brick road ends and then I'm Toto and I want to go there. No, I don't. I do again, believe and respect Toto want to go to the Emerald Castle. I feel like Toto didn't have as much agency in that story as he thinks Toto did. He's talking about the band.

But he's not a big fan of Africa. I don't think I want to be clear. I respect the shit out of this and I do believe what he's saying. I disagree. I don't believe that at all. You don't believe that he doesn't want to be on Fox? No, I believe that, I believe that that VP was, if not talking about Alex Jones himself, some person in the Alex Jones camp made an inquiry with the VP to be like,

hey, Alex would do, I 100% believe that. And maybe Alex, I guarantee that's true because Alex just had the exact same tone of voice that a fucking asshole dude is like, you know, I didn't want to fuck that girl anyways. I don't know why she told me that she wanted to, you know, she came to me and I didn't, I don't want to do it. But yeah, but you're ugly dude. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's that fucking asshole. But I, from all of my listening to him, he's been wildly consistent in this aspect.

There's a part of me that kind of believes him that he didn't want a job at Fox news and someone over there shit on him. I kind of believe him on this one. It's a little, I'm going to disagree. Your perspective is valid. I'm going to, and you're right. You have way more, you have way more context for that. But just, just going on tone, because those guys sound exactly the same.

Every one of those guys says the same shit, says the same tone of voice. Like it's all the same thing. And he had every little aspect of that. Okay. Like that is the, that is the first time where I've actively thought he wasn't just like a conspiracy theory deceiving douchebag. I genuinely hate him with all my heart after hearing him say that. Well, fair enough. Let's hear, let's hear him out.

Let's give him another fair day in court. Okay. Okay. I have my own audience. It's huge just like drudge has his own audience. I'm trying to build something outside of them. We've done it. We've been successful. You go to a Donald Trump rally, a third of the shirts are info wars.com

and Hillary for prison shirts. They're not Fox news shirts. Okay. I bet that's true. Sure. That part's not bullshit, but he's talking about how his audience is huge. And I had to do a little bit of research on this. Was he also implying that his dick was the same size as his audience?

I think that there's a parallel. There's a wild speculation there. So I looked into does he make a lock Hillary up underwear? Cause that would be some solid, that would be some solid advertising. Or like freely, uh, handcuffs, sex play. That would probably piss off his conservative base. But so I had to do some digging and I looked into that would be the ultimate white elephant ironic gift is a lock Hillary up frilly fuck cuffs.

God, I'm so mad. Christmas is already over. So I did some research. Our merch is going to be incredible. We gotta get like a store together. We've got to get, we've got to put together Alex Jones drop digital drop boxes. Oh yeah. Lock Hillary up frilly handcuffs.

Right. God damn it. We're going to be rich. We're going to be, we're going to crush it. So I looked into, uh, Alex talks about how huge his audience is. And we've already gone over that he has like maybe about three, 400,000, uh, regular listeners or regular clickers. Clicker clicks to the website.

Yes. But he also talks about all the stations that he's on. He talks about the terrestrial broadcasts that he's on. So I did a little bit of research into that. Do you mean like a syndicated? Like how, okay. I found that there was a listing from the Genesis communications network. They had a listing of the 83 stations that Alex Jones is broadcast on daily.

And he's broadcast on Sundays alone on 35 stations, but most of that is overlap. Like the, the Sunday broadcasts overlap with the 83. It's not a hundred percent, but there's a lot of it. Gotcha. Um, so I was looking at that and I was like, that's not a lot, but it's a lot. If you're me, that's true. But if you're Alex Jones, that's not, that's not a lot. So I wanted to look into it, get some comparisons.

Hannity has at least 424 stations. Glenn Beck has 327. Michael Savage has 223 stations nationally. Rush has 531. So I was like, oh, he's at the bottom of that list. But then I started to look a little bit further. Oh God. Yes.

And I was like, what are these stations? Let me list off a couple of these stations that he's syndicated. Oh, please. WSVG 790 AM out of Mount Jackson, Virginia. Population of 2000. Okay. WLSC 1240 AM out of Loris, South Carolina. Population of 2000.

He has two stations that broadcast him in Cain, Pennsylvania. Population of 3,500 people. Two stations in that, in Cain, Pennsylvania. WYPV 106.3 FM out of Onaway, Michigan. Population of 850. I did some digging, did some math. 36 out of the 83 stations, that's 43% of the markets, are not even ranked in terms of broadcast markets.

Wow. So that's 43% are below the threshold where they would even make the consideration of rankings. Right. 19 out of the 83, that's 22% are in the top 100 markets. That's okay. 22% in the top 100. Yeah, 19 out of the, but I should say that most of them

skewed towards the lower end of the top 100. Wow. I wasn't expecting him to go from- He does have one in New York. From 1002. Oh, and also the number one network. No, not the number one network, but he is in New York. There is a market in New York, he has a Chicago affiliate,

and that's the number three in the nation. Okay. Only 26 out of the 83, including that 19 in the top 100, to bring them together to a total of 31% are in the top 150 markets. Okay. So if you keep going down, you see that, like a lot of these are bad markets.

Now, before I say anything about that. Yeah. Because we have like maybe 100 listeners. Assume I know zero about radio. Sure. If he's in that 2000 market, that city of 2000, does that just mean that only those people can get the signal or-

The wattage of the stations varies. Right. Well, no, I kind of assumed that. But I mean, like, if we're talking about a city of 2000, I'm assuming it's not right next to a city of 300,000. It's kind of out there in the docks, the boonies. You could probably still pick up the station for, you know, a number of miles outside of town.

But really, we're looking at a small percentage of those 2000 people are actually listening. In theory. Or maybe a lot. Well, it's 2000 people. But even if it's all 2000 of them, that's not that great. No. And I'm saying that not because I think

that's a shitty audience. I would love to have that audience. No, of course. But I say it because he's Alex Jones and he brags about his fucking audience all the time. And if you look at it, it's compiled. It's cobbled with garbage. Yeah.

So ballpark it. Ballpark it. We've got- We've got certain numbers. 83 stations. No, no, I mean, like, number of listeners. Oh. So 83, we got super small markets for most of them.

But most probably would listen online. But still, if you're only getting like 300,000 hits to your website, let's say he has a total consistent audience of maybe like 200,000 people. I would actually go lower. I was being pretty generous. Yeah, I was going to say that's super generous. But it's also-

Because we're using the word consistent too. It's a way different story. Clicking on a website versus actually listening to his radio show. And consistently. Yeah. There's also a difference between listening and just checking in.

You know what? I would actually say his audience is closer to 60,000. And most of those are long road truckers. That's entirely possible. My heart, especially because you- You're heart of heart. You can see the numbers on YouTube. Okay.

I think that he's probably, if you include YouTube in there too, I think he has a bigger audience. Okay. But if you're talking about like, I mean, it's monetizing YouTube is incredibly difficult. Right. And the amount that you get is not very high. So if you have like 20,000 hits on a video,

you're not making much off that. No. So- Is that what his average kind of videos are? Some of them are pretty high. It depends on how salacious the topic is. Okay. Does he live stream it as well on YouTube?

Or do they pick the clips out and then put them up later? He does the latter, but also the prior. Okay. But I have watched it live a couple times. And it's like 600 people are watching. So not many people are streaming it live on YouTube. Who has the fucking attention span to listen for three hours? I do, and I'm not doing anything at work.

00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:26,960 Exactly. If you've got nothing else going on. Or if you are a trucker. Or doing data entry. Yeah, or trucker. Yeah. Or if you're just on a long road trip,

you might listen to that whole thing. So now, I want to, I agree with you, but I- But that's also, so that's also kind of like the Conan show really. Where it's like- What do you mean by that? I mean, who's watching the Conan show from you know, for the whole hour and a half?

People who want to. Right. But most of us are watching the five minute clips online. Sure. That's why it's impossible to get ratings accurate. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I also did some research.

I'm like, 83 stations seems fucking low. What's going on there? And I was able to dig up his contract that he gives to affiliates. And I know it's real because it's hosted on infowars.com. It is publicly available. Wow. That seems like a bad idea. Well, it certainly gave me more information than they want me to know.

It turns out that infowars itself is owned by a parent company called Free Speech Systems LLC. Okay. Okay. And they're the ones- FSS LLC. Yes. That's actually what it says on the contract.

Oh, good. So the here things- Which sounds like TLC added a lot more members. And allowed for scrubs. So the first thing that I noticed about this contract was a very clear specification that broadcasting infowars as an affiliate is free. They don't charge you anything. And I quote,

The Alex Jones show overdrive and infowars nightly news are free to air. There is no cost for running the program. No affiliate fees. That's in the contract. Wow. Now here's what they ask. Free Speech Systems reserves the usage of three minutes per broadcast hour for network promotional advertiser space.

The broadcaster will have usage of the remainder of the scheduled advertising per program. Okay. So the- So if you run his show- Yes. Then the network you're on can only advertise the network for three minutes. No. You got it flipped.

Oh, I got it backwards. Yes. Okay. So let's say I have a radio station. Right. And I want to broadcast Alex Jones. Yes. There's 15 minutes of commercials per hour.

I get 12. He gets three. Okay. That is not a great contract. That's a bad contract, right? Yeah. Okay. That's a little desperate.

That's really sad. And only 83 stations have thought to take- take up on this free programming. It seems like it's a- That's insane. Well- How toxic is the stuff he's saying that people don't want to put him on their- their air?

I mean, based on what we've heard, pretty goddamn toxic. Yeah. Anyway, I- Now- I find this fascinating, and I apologize we've only had one clip so far, but it seems- And all of this is very publicly available if you just search for info wars affiliate contract.

It'll come up on Google. Which, I mean, that- That really screws up their negotiating system. We don't want anything. Yeah, exactly. Just let us sell our pills for three minutes. If you are coming from that low of a negotiating point. Yeah.

That's real trouble right there. But I mean, it is like a- Okay, you have a network, a broadcast, like you have an affiliate that, you know, you have maybe 50,000 people could listen to your station. That's 50,000 people that might hear our three minutes of weird pill commercials. Yeah. So that's worth it to us. We're doing this anyway.

Which is fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. That's all so weird. Which leads me to believe that his- There's a-

There's a backer there, right? There is a, there is a larger- We see no evidence of it. Are we, are we, are we now descending into conspiracy theory territory where it's like, now I'm thinking there's an anti-George Soros who's trying to combat the globalists. What's happening to me? Yeah, I know. What are you doing to me?

It's fucked up. So here's, here's the next clip in his screed on Glenn Beck. Where the future, and I don't say this meanly, but your future is selling more catheters and more diabetic equipment because that's all you've got, so very old audience. Nothing against them, but the point is, you're the past, we're the future. So that's his next stab at Fox News in general. That is, that is the most, that is the most self-inflicted attack that you can possibly make. Like he's basically saying to them like,

Hey, you guys are only selling catheters. I'm selling boner pills. And prostate medication. Yeah. So, so he's- No, I know. It's insane. That is insane.

Why does he- That's, that's like when you're a bad, like I don't know, like you've robbed a bank and you have a friend who also robbed a bank and you're like, you're a fucking bank robber. Yeah, yeah. But I did some more research. Oh God, thank God you do research. So I mentioned this site before, Quantcast. Are you, you've heard of Quantcast?

Yes, I remember it from our pilot episode. They compile- Ladies and gentlemen, it is episode one. They compile statistics for advertising purposes on websites. And according to Quantcast, 53% of Alex Jones' audience is over the age of 45 and 78% are over 35. Only 6% of his audience is between the ages of 18 and 24 and 12% between 25 and 34. So not a lot. 53% is over 45.

That's not a young audience. Anybody below 18. 45 isn't very old. But is there anybody below 18? It's 6%. 6% below 18. Which is unadvisable. That is, that's cruel.

That's inappropriate. Why would you do that? Child abuse. That is child abuse. I also found InfoWars press release that they put out in order to try and find more advertisers. Okay. Which you can also find by Googling it. It's hosted on InfoWars.com.

It's publicly available. It's insane that they just leave this stuff up on their website without blocking it. Yeah, they're putting their business out there. That's a bad way to negotiate. It's a PDF of like a slick presentation too. In that PDF they claim. That's like if Snowden didn't steal the NSA docs. He just googled, hey, what is NSA doing today?

And they just all showed up. And it's all super usable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They gave you a whole like, oh, and there's a tutorial on how to look through there. Here's the breakdown. What is the NSA? Great. Thanks for the info.

In that advertising report. Intro to NSA. They claim that his audience is 43% over the age of 50 with an additional 35% between the ages of 35 and 49. If you look at the Quantcast data, that can match up. Because what they did is change the threshold ages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it can't, like that could.

And even then it's still well within the margin of error for. Yeah. So based on that. The overall trend is exactly the same. Based on what independent polling and his own press release say, we can pretty much rely on those as fairly accurate numbers. Yeah. Even if you look at that,

fucking 43% is over 50. That's an old fucking audience. Now 50% of Fox News. Fox News is also the same. It's worse. It's worse. Yeah, they're even older aren't they? Fox News is like it's 65.

The median age is 63. Yeah. So half of the audience is over 63. Yeah. But still 50 is not that. I mean, it's 13 years, but it's not a far cry. What he's trying to say is we are the next generation that will grow up. The next generation of old people.

Right. I guess that's the only way to. Here's the part where it's good that I found out earlier that free speech systems owns info wars. Because I did a little more digging. And I found a press release. Conspiracy. I found an advertising pitch from free speech systems LLC.

That is for info wars. And what they are, I looked, I found there like sort of business filing. And it's a Austin based company. And the only contact on it is info wars.net. Okay. So like it's, it's all, they made all the other stuff private. I'm sure Alex Jones owns guys. You can't see this right now, but while freezing is looking at me, my eyes are

twinkling with excitement. So they put out this press packet trying to sell advertising on info wars.com on the website, as opposed to on the radio broadcast. So the one, this, this one has a slightly different skew on what the audience is. Okay. This one claims that the audience is 30% over the age of 50 and 67% over the age of 35. In terms of selling radio advertising, he's being accurate to statistics. The quant cast and his other PDF numbers.

Because the radio audience generally is an older audience. Generally people who listen to radio are older. I haven't listened to radio in years. When you sell web ads, you want to skew younger. So you pretend that your audience is much younger than what it actually is. And they're not doing a great job of pretending. Ba Da Bing, you have completely conflicting numbers. Also, they list three ways that you can buy ads on the website.

Now here's where I'm starting to get like, this is a fucking scam. Three ways. Yeah. The first way you can do it is banner ads. Just standard stuff on the blog. Yeah, everybody does banner ads. That's normal. If you, if you go, you can find this also super easily.

It's publicly available. It's also hosted on their website. I mean, you can just go to Info Wars and click on one of their banner ads, right? Here's the fucked up thing. Oh no, you can't click on their banner ads? No, we'll get to what's fucked up. Okay. So, but I mean, that's how blogs operate.

And they show, they show like the placement of where the ads would be. Because they want to be like, you can get A, B, C or D. Okay. Second option is a banner that goes at the top of the website. Yes. That looks like breaking news. No. Oh, I'm assuming that they disclose there's a conflict of interest there, right?

Never. They don't. I also just went to infowars.com today and there is no banner ad or anything like that. So that's not in play right now. That's not in play. You're really pushing it. I'm trying. So the third way is what I think is really fucked up.

And they're super clear about it being fucked up. The third way is called text links. And I'm just going to read a quote. Oh, please. From their advertising materials. These are disguised as news headlines near the top of the breaking news. They even in the thing they say disguised. Disguised.

They even they admit that they're lying. Verbatim. That's crazy. Yes. I'm not paraphrasing at all. That you're, they literally say word for word, we will lie to our viewers. Awesome. Disguised as news headlines at the top of the breaking news or prison planet sections.

And guaranteed to get massive immediate hits. Your text ad can say anything you like and varies in pricing for characters. That is a used car sales pitch right there. We are guaranteed to get immediate hits, ladies and gentlemen. Where would you like to go? We are selling high on dies. We are selling like what? So now I went, I went to the website and I looked and I couldn't find any banner ads on it.

And there were no text ones either. Maybe. Maybe. Oh, that's right. They're disguised. They're disguised. Who knows? At this point, if you know that that's an advertising strategy they're literally using,

everything is suspect. Yeah. You don't know what any of these headlines are really. Which fits into their whole, their whole thing. Talk shit about Buzzfeed all you want. They do about a dumb shit. But every time there's something that's like paid for. Yeah, they say sponsored.

Huge banner sponsored content. Because otherwise you're being a duplicitous asshole. Yeah, well, and even if Buzzfeed isn't doing that, they're not advertising that they're disguising it for you. Maybe there are. I've never seen their sales pitches. Maybe there is like, because that does sound like a sleazy ad salesperson. Yeah.

And it's not, it's not outside the realm of possibility that other websites are doing that. Yeah. I could definitely see many disreputable, although the moment you start down that path, nothing is trustworthy. Yeah. Like the moment you know that they are willing to do that and then just apply that to even some percentage of mainstream stuff. It's like, well, if these guys get like, it's not, and they're not hiding it.

Maybe they're just doing a worse job of hiding how they're. Maybe. I mean, they should not have these things be public. They should really not. It's really easy to set a page to private. But even then it does seem like their viewers would not give a shit. Or be, or be like, it's the globalist trying to paint him in a bad light. That is not.

This is fake news. Unacceptable. Well, I mean, everyone, like the although that is the world we live in now where if you disagree with something, it's fake news, fake news. Anyway, that, that's the, like some of the summation of the research that there's one more thing I found because he hates all these media people and he talks about how he's so much better than them. So I went to Alexa.

Well, everything that they accuse him of doing is what they're doing. Right. So I went to Alexa, which is another advertising tool for websites. Does it say nice things about you? It doesn't. That's another Alexa. But this, this is a website that gives you a rank. It ranks all the websites in the world in terms of traffic.

So most of the top ones are Google and different, different countries, Google's like Google.ca and all that stuff. Co.uk and so Alex Jones info wars.com there. Alexa rank is 1349, which is not terrible. No, that's actually really good. It's crazy good. My, my angel fire website is not in the top thousand. I'll tell you that right now.

Nothing I've ever done is in the top million. So I mean, I'm not shitting on him for what he's achieved, but when he talks about how huge his audience is and then is like, he does bring up Alexa. Like he brings up a podcast and Alexa and talks about his stats. He's 1349. I'm going to give you a few websites and tell you where they are. Oh no, you're going to make Alex Jones feel sad.

Buzzfeed. What do you think it is? Top 100. This is a good guessing game. Top, uh, top 50. Nope, 194. 194 that CNN. Um, I would actually say they're lower fake news, fake news.

Yeah. Let's call them 300 number 96. Okay. BBC now I'm going the opposite direction. I'm getting worse at this BBC. Oh, that's a good question. I'm so America centric. Um, and this is worldwide, of course.

Yeah. Let's go with 250 73. Jesus, you're, you're now I'm, you're going higher as we go along. No, not entirely. I figured out the game. Not entirely. New York times. Uh, 45 85.

Oh, God. Damn it. The Guardian. I love the Guardian. So let's go with two. The second post. Um, let's go with 70 106. Okay.

X hamster.com. It's a porn tube. Oh, oh, I know. You don't need to, you don't need to ask. Let's call that all the porn has got to be in the top 40. Right. No, no, no, no, that's, that's not all the porn. Yeah.

Um, where would, okay, let's call porn had porn hub top 30. Right. Porn hub is 51 porn hub is 51. X hamster is not as popular. So I'll go 170 89 Jesus. Huffington post. Um, that one can't be as big. Let's call it 180 235.

Okay. Daily mail. I'm 50 off on literally every one of these daily mail. Um, I would say 280 164. Jesus. People read the Daily Mail that much. Washington post. 122.

Cause I was going to guess in the 70s. I'm 50 off every time. A weird crowd sourced news site called blasting news. 12. 145. I have never heard of blasting news before. It must be a huge foreign thing. I have no idea.

It has to be. Yeah. Well, like WhatsApp is the, uh, messenger app that everybody use. Yeah. That has everybody, but America uses WhatsApp. I don't have the number on it, but I saw it on the list. It's way up there. Yeah.

So Alex Jones is way behind all of those. Also his compatriot, the drudge report. That's got to be way up there. Right. You would think. No, it's not. Well, that's 629. That's up there.

It's only 629. To, to my. But to be fair, the 629th most popular website in the world is pretty crazy. No, that's, that is crazy. But in, in the world that I live in of conservatives, I guess it's just because their voice is so much louder. And so different. It seems that they should be, it seems that they should be so much higher.

Well, and they, they act like they're so much higher. Yeah. Well, that's true. So when you take this, it's like, I'm so much more popular than CNN fake news. It's like, they're in the top 100. You're 1349. So like it is a big difference between those two.

But he's not, he's speaking to his audience. They're passionate too. They are passionate. They're probably more passionate than most CNN readers. I would say they're probably more passionate than all CNN readers. What they make up for. Because that's fake news. Anyway, here's where he gets to actually talking about Glenn Beck.

And now we're back to the clips. My research is done, but I just needed to get all that out. Okay. It's like, oh my gosh, Glenn Beck says, you know, half the nation is upset about Trump and he hopes that Trump has a good presidency and he can't wait to see how things go. This is so sick on many levels. It's like saying, uh, uh, Glenn Beck said that grass is green

and puppy dogs have fur and bark and do little pink tongues. Of course, half the country or 47% is brainwashed and hates Trump. My gosh, tell me something I didn't know. And then again, what is this failure who's made these apology tours all over ABC, CBS, NBC, apologizing for conservatives, apologizing for gun owners, apologizing for Donald Trump, trying to sabotage this country, leading an ever Trump movement, going around being this apologist who

quote is an insider and admits that the liberty movement's really bad. And he apologizes to the left. A total Judas Goat. Then he goes on fun news and sits up there. And that's like he's now pro Trump trying to rehabilitate himself. Hey, Megan Kelly at least had the class to leave to NBC, knowing her viewers and listeners hated her guts. It's even worse with you, Beck.

Go away. You are incredible. And again, I'm not in the competition with you. I don't bash other major talk show hosts. I'm sick of you. I know what you've done in talk radio. I know what you've done behind the scenes with sponsors. I know how you've been out to get me for like eight years.

Out to get Ron Paul. Out to get Donald Trump. Out to get everybody. You are bad news. Now we got bad. Hey, like I love that you don't bash other news hosts. Unless they're Megan Kelly, because she doesn't smell right. I was I did that a sentence.

Yeah. Yeah. What is what? I'm so glad you picked up on that because that was the most obvious thing in the world. How does he also? Also, I like he's I like how he's like half the nation is no. It's way more than half. Yeah.

Trump's favorable ratings are like 27 now. Like it's ridiculous. If you if you what's the what's what's that? What's that metric called where you subtract the positives and the negatives? You know, like where you take the favorability against unfavorability. He's he's super low on that. Yeah. No, what was it?

Obama, whenever he was elected, he had a plus 71 favorable. I think he's at negative even. Yeah. Even W had like 30 and it's like he's way, way down there. The the sort of it's at the point now where like he's worried that there will be a coup against Trump and most of the country is like, I mean, if Obama wanted a third term. Well, you saw that in his farewell speech. Everyone kept chanting for more years.

And yeah, Obama's responses. I can't do that. Yeah, I know which it which goes so against Alex Jones's entire narrative, which is that he's wants for more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, no, he he's the only person who actually believes in the Constitution now. Yeah, to our detriment. Everybody not that Obama should have four more years.

I'm not I'm not saying that, but it is to his detriment that he plays so soft. He believes too hard. He believed too hard in America. That was his ultimate failing. Now, here's my theory on on where we are now. And the theory is this, because Obama was so reasonable, the only way to fight against him was to make shit up. Yeah, like if Obama actually if Obama actually had gone far left, then the right would be

much more towards the center right now because it'd be much easier to fight against him as like centrist. Sure. And instead, because Obama was so in the center, the right just had to go further and further and further and make shit like Obama's a secret Muslim. Yeah, like they had to make that up because they couldn't be like, well, Obama seems like he's pretty reasonable and he's governing the country and its idea is consistently made overtures to cooperate really tried hard that poor bastard.

I read a great I mean, this is going to be the new like a hacky thing to say or like cliche thing, but I read a great Twitter thread that someone posted about how like, hey, conservatives, good fucking luck, because you've had eight years of the most conciliatory, polite, decent, trying to work with you president in the world. And you are fucking shitting on it. And now you're going to see what happens when liberals don't want to play along. I think there's something to that. I don't.

What? I don't. I don't think there is something to that. I think liberals will always want to play along. That's what we are. You're right. The assessment by our definition. Our goal is like, hey, we believe that your people too.

Yeah. And their entire goal is you're not people. Money is people. You're demons. He literally called us demons. Repeatedly. Yeah. So it's not like liberals will still, well, even now you read all those articles where it's

like, here's why we lost because we didn't appeal to middle American. It's like, no, no, no. We lost because middle America, those white fuckers just did not give a shit. That's why that whole bubble narrative is fucking bullshit. It's bullshit. Yeah. It is straight up bullshit. You know what bubbles are?

The multicultural centers where people are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it when you live in your bubble of all the different types of people together. And you don't live in the bubble of only white fucks together. Yeah. So there was too much to cover in this episode. So I'm going to do a quick rundown of things that couldn't make the cut.

Excellent. There was a nice we're doing. We're doing a full on Sklar Brothers cheap seats situation here. Yeah. There was a nice rundown from what got cut. Yeah. Roger Stone, a Trump surrogate who hosts the show sometimes had a nice quote about how when Donald Trump goes overseas, he always knows he's going to be videotaped.

So these tapes couldn't possibly exist because he knows that people are taping him. He's too smart to be taped. Meanwhile, Billy Bush fucking got him on a film set. On a fucking film set when he was wearing a microphone that he knew he was wearing. Yeah. So like that whole logic to me is so crazy. It's like also I like I like how you said Billy Bush got him. As if as if Billy Bush had any idea what was going on in his own way.

Yeah, yeah. Both of them had it. Both of them just didn't give a fuck. Yeah. That's how I like to spin it though. It's more fun for me. That's true. So Alex also as though as though Billy Bush was the hero of this world we live in.

Alex had a nice talk about how free speech is going to end. And one of the things that he cited was that when they arrested Dinesh D'Souza, I knew the game was up. Did they arrest him? I looked into it back in 2014. They arrested him because he was indicted for breaking campaign finance laws by illegally donating to the senatorial campaign of a New York conservative candidate named Wendy Long. So that's when he knew the game was up because it's about free speech.

It is about free speech. So I looked into it and the government charged D'Souza with illegally arranging to have two people, an employee and a woman with whom he was romantically involved, donate $10,000 each to a campaign of an old friend from Dartmouth College with the understanding that he would reimburse them in cash for their contributions. According to prosecutors, Mr. D'Souza lied to Ms. Long, the candidate in question they were donating to, about the donations reassuring her that the people who were donating had sufficient funds to make the contribution. Ms. Long pressed D'Souza on the matter

after the election and he acknowledged that he had reimbursed the two people, the government said. But told Ms. Long not to worry because she had not known about it. So he actually found at this point the only way to break campaign finance laws. Basically. Like the laws are so non-existent now. He found the most, like that's the most obvious way to, like that might as well have been him writing and I'm willing to disguise my heat on the website. That's ridiculous.

Judge Berman rebuked the defendant repeatedly over the course of the hearing describing his conduct as self-destructive and his remarks, his remarks in the media as thoughtless. Self-destructive is the only way. Well, if you hold on, hold on, the judge even quoted from a letter to the court from Mr. D'Souza's ex or Mr. D'Souza's ex wife, Dixie D'Souza, which is a great name. Dixie D'Souza is a great name. In which she said she said he had a quote, flawed character and lack of truthfulness and accused him of physically abusing her.

Now hold on, it's not over. Oh God, how is it not over? Mr. D'Souza spoke briefly on his own behalf explaining that he had made the illegal donations because he wanted to help Ms. Long's floundering campaign. Quote, I could see that personally she was humiliated, he said. Mr. D'Souza, who came to America alone from India as a teenager, described Ms. Long as a member of his quote, surrogate family at Dartmouth. How is there more?

For its part, the government argued that Mr. D'Souza's crime was not a misguided act of friendship, but a quote premeditated decision to break the campaign finance law. Well, yeah, he literally said I was doing this because I wanted her to win. Because she was humiliated. He admitted exactly what he did. Which is pathetic. That's not a defense. No, the pathetic part about it is that your honor, in my defense, I wanted to kill that man.

And then I did. Oh, great. Cool. You're free. Oh, okay. Sweet. I didn't realize that would work. Oh, God.

Really? But the cowardly thing about it is that he couches it in empathy. It's like I cared about my family, my surrogate family. So that's why I did it. I mean, that's not cowardly. That's craven. That's craven is what it is. I think it's cowardly because it's couching it within the language of empathy when it's not.

You're trying to cover your tracks. When empathy is a beautiful thing. Cowardly would be more like him throwing her under the bus. Like true. She asked me to do it. Craven is more like he is knowingly simulating the emotions of a human being. You've taught me a lesson here today. Craven is not just a hunter.

Craven is not just a hunter. So also cut from the comic book jokes. We have to get to what I think is going to be the most important thing that's ever happened on this podcast. But the second coming of Christ. Yes. In some ways. But he did talk a little bit about Peagate. I can play those clips if you want to hear one.

Wait. That's the sad part is I almost thought that that was just a shortening of pizza gate. But now I remember it's another gate. Trump was peed on by a Russian hooker. Allegedly. Okay. Allegedly. It was a specific hooker.

Yeah. So we all know it has been at least a hooker. Probably. I mean look here's the thing. I don't I don't think that that that evidence that we have proves anything. I agree. But I also don't think it's outside the realm of possibility. I think it's the most inside the realm of possibility.

Also I think that most people who have been covering it have been covering it with the caveat in the same way that BuzzFeed says this is sponsored content. I think every article that I've read about it has been like this is unverified. This isn't. It is it is unverified. But the news is not you're verifying these claims. The news is that the president was briefed on these claims. Which is fair to report. Exactly.

You should be reporting that. The president is very likely to do if you don't. Yeah. We're just going to keep that away. Now as far as the peeing on thing goes. Yeah. I have no problem with him being peed on. Me neither.

And that's not even like the the sexual exploits of JFK are. Crazy. Thrown under the rug because that was back whenever people had the gentleman's agreement. Sure. Oh we will keep his private business private to the extent that the press knew what he was up to. Yeah. And because of decorum they didn't.

Yeah exactly. Which is on them. Yeah. That was bad there. So it's not the peeing on thing that bothers me because that's not even like that's the that's the salacious thing in that that everybody like gloms onto. That's what Twitter gloms on. Yeah exactly.

Because it's fun to tweet about it. What it really should be is that he may be being blackmailed about it. And even if he's like. Who cares if he who cares if he fucking peed on a dog. They're blackmailing him about it. That's the story. And his behavior does line up with someone who's being blackmailed. It lines up perfectly with someone who's being blackmailed.

That could be a coincidence. It's not. But it could be. But let's say let's let's like posit a world where he's not being blackmailed. Hillary Clinton is president. No because of the narrative that's already been set up and because of his actions and how ruthless Russia is really like Putin is a ruthless ruthless man.

He's Vladimir the ruthless. Yes. In Alex Jones's own words. Exactly. And so like we're in a place now where Russia could come up with anything and be like do what we want or we'll release this. Yeah. Like even if they don't have blackmail now they can make it.

And I would make it so easily. We're so far beyond the realm of reality now. Like that whole fake news thing is such a win for everybody. Conspiracy theorists especially. For everybody. Like because now there is no legit legitimacy to any bit of information. Nope. Like I can't I can't believe or not believe anything.

Nope. Because you're dumb. I am dumb. Yeah. That is a true thing. So I'm going to play one clip of the Peagate stuff. So Peagate we're dancing at the gates of Peagate. He I mean his his take on it is pretty predictable.

I I might have to cut this off at some point. I know it's it's pretty predictable. Yeah. It's pretty it's predictable. Notice it's the mainstream media again running with a ridiculous easily debunkable story. It's not easily debunkable. It's not easily debunkable. Whatever you want to say about it.

It's very hard to unverify. And I'm not entirely sure that debunkable is a word. I mean we're going to allow. We'll claim was part of some secret CIA report that the president has been blackmailed by the Russians because they have video of him with women urinating on each other. Now yet I'm sorry to have to talk about that on air but that's what's being put loose. So this goes back to that decorum thing we were talking about. This is Alex Jones is fake decorum.

He's like I'm sorry I have to talk about this dirty dirty stuff. Children avoid learning about the world. Right. Right. I'll hold on. Listen to this. This is my favorite. My favorite thing about Trump right now.

And my favorite thing about the world we live in is everything turned so fast. Like on Tuesday Obama gave a an uplifting beautiful speech about unity. We still can. And on Wednesday Trump denied being peed on by hookers. Yeah. That is the world that we live in. It's amazing. It's a farce unthought of by writers.

Yeah. There's no way that we could write anything more insane than what's going on right now. If you want to hear about insane look at this juxtaposition of I'm sorry I had to talk about P. Now here is next. Let's do it. So we have to cover it. It is Jerry Epstein of the Alita Express and the Clintons that are clearly involved in the entire pedophile network.

It is the Clintons that are clearly involved with the whole Hollywood elite and the Roman Polanskis and the Pearl Streeps who apologize for pedophilia and basically champion it. This is the group that is into all this. We know that it comes out over and over and over and over again. So he keeps doing this thing. He keeps doing this thing where he's like I don't want to talk about peeing but also Roman Polanski raped a 13 year old. It's like hey none of us are defending Roman Polanski.

He's easily debunkable claims about Trump watching people pee on each other. But also everyone in the Clintons organization is a pedophile. Right. And he brings up Jerry Epstein who was a billionaire and convicted pedophile. He had a private plane and he would take people on vacations. Bill Clinton is in his Rolodex. But also Donald Trump is in the Rolodex billionaire. So pretty much everybody's in his role.

It doesn't prove that you're fucking kids but it does mean that you hung out with him. I've hung out with some bad dudes. I didn't necessarily like when I was young. Bad enough dudes to save the president. I don't know. I used to hang out with a guy who sold me weed. And I didn't know but he was also selling guns. And had I known that at the time I wouldn't have hung out with him.

That's too dangerous for my blood. That sort of thing. But like I did hang out with him. He was a nice enough guy. I imagine that if I had hung out with a pedophile at some point and I found out later. I wouldn't be like I shouldn't have done that. I'd be like well I didn't know that about them. That sucks.

I wish I would have known. But they weren't fucking kids around me. They didn't bring that up. See that is very much like a corollary in our world where a lot of and let's not say a lot. But let's say men are monsters. Yeah. And comedians are all crazy people. Sure.

So we do know a bunch of people who are in that like. We've done some bad shit. I didn't know they were always been nice to me. Sure. Like once I know that's going on that immediately changes the relationship. Well there's some that you get a vibe off of. But you know. Yeah.

But anyway. So there have been a few that we've gotten vibes off of. He does this whole thing about the P Gates stuff. And he's like these. God can we stop. I'm sorry. Can we stop with Gates. I know.

I hate it too. Can we stop with Gates. No Gates. Are we done with Gates yet. You know who's really suffering. We're on 50 years of Gates. Who's suffering from this. Nixon.

Bill Gates. I don't know if Bill Gates has ever suffered from anything. He does this whole long thing about how it's the liberals who are into this sexual perversion. Then he has this sentence that I think is delicious. Please enjoy this. Because it's all the liberals are obsessed. The libtards. The proctards.

They're obsessed. Hollywood's obsessed with fucking kids. What's Trump obsessed with. I'll tell you. I'll tell you right fucking now. No Donald Trump has an obsession with beautiful perfect 10 women. I don't think anybody's gonna say that's a crime. He's ever claimed to be Mr. Perfect.

But he's been married several times. He has a great family. That's a great clip. That is great. Yeah. I see. But that's how insane shit has gotten where you can say the most sexist thing you can think of. Because that's the least offensive thing about him at this point.

He's into perfect 10 women. He's into perfect 10 women. No. That's not a crime. He's been married a bunch of times. That's also not a crime. He has a great family. He has a great family.

Those thoughts don't track. No. His family does have a very children of the corn look about them. And one of them is just completely ignored. Tiffany. Which one. Tiffany. He has another daughter that never.

He has another daughter. Yeah. That is just completely ignored. Oh my God. Is he is it like a man in the iron mask scenario where I believe the daughter is kept in a fucking underground basement. No. I think she's doing fine.

But it's sort of you know how there was on the Osborns. They had another daughter that wasn't on the reality show. I did not know that. Yeah. There was another daughter who's like I don't want any part of this show. And so she just so they pretended she didn't exist. The smartest daughter in the history of the world. Exactly.

Like the third Olson sister. Like as Mary Kate and Ashley were twins. But there was another one. I isn't. But isn't she an actress now. She is now. But she was never in the public eye before. All right.

Or there's another Jonas brother. There's another Jonas. There's a bonus Jonas. God damn you. Sorry. I will see you in hell for that. Sorry sir. We shall meet at dawn.

Jordan. Time has come. We have to get to. I wish there was theme music for this. Okay. The greatest thing ever. Okay. All right.

I don't even want to explain to you what this is. Okay. I just want to start the clip. And watch your face. Oh god no. Because this is going to blow your mind. This is something from 2004. We have a very very special guest.

He's going to come out here. He's going to talk to you. Then he's going to bring up Dougie. I am a huge fan of his. It's really it's an honor to bring him up here. Please keep going for the Lord of Conspiracy. Alex Jones everybody. Are you picking up what's going on yet?

He's the Lord of Conspiracy. Do you understand what the scenario is right now? I'm not sure. Okay. We'll see. I feel sorry for you. I mean you came out here to have a good time. And here's some great comics.

I believe that you've heard of that last guy. It was absolutely amazing. And Doug's great too. He's a, well he's a degenerate atheist. Other than that he's a pretty good guy. No but seriously. Alex Jones doing stand up. No.

No. Oh yes. No. Oh yes. But, but no. But oh yes. Do you have any of it? Oh we got the whole clip.

No. Play me some. Oh we're gonna. Play me some stand up. So here's what happened. I'll give you just a little bit of a run down. So he's brought up to the Lord of Conspiracy. Which god that would be a great Broadway show.

Absolutely. Dancing. The whole thing. paranoia. It would be beautiful. Oh yeah yeah yeah. So if we were going to write an opera. That would be the name of this opera about Alex Jones.

What about Phantom of Conspiracy? Phantom of Conspiracy. We would have to do it. We would have to do it in Italian though. That's the only way. I know a couple opera singers. We could do that. Really?

Yeah. All right. So Alex Jones is friends with Doug Stanhope. The two of them are friends because Doug likes fucking weirdos. And when Doug was headlining at the Cap City Comedy Club. Which is a great club. Yeah. I did their open mic once.

Actually I didn't. You were there and they were not allowed. I went there for the open mic and two really really mentally ill people who were doing comedy came up to me and wouldn't leave me alone. And so I left. It was way too uncomfortable. Smart move. But he.

It is never a bad idea to leave an open mic. Nobody has ever been like oh man I wish I hadn't left that open mic. So Stanhope when he's down in Austin. He's like hey Alex come do a set. Bring me up to stage. So this is what happens. Okay. Now he started with a but seriously.

Which is great. That is. I love that. Fantastic. We're going to see if he has any chops. Let's see what he's got. Oh I'm going to pre pre listening to the clip. I'm going to say his chops are spectacular.

Well you know a lot of people. Unimpeachable chops. A lot of people think that he's Bill Hicks faked his own death. And now he's Alex Jones. You know that conspiracy. That would be such a great bit. There's a lot of conspiracy about that. That he's Andy Kaufmaning as you know.

Andy Kaufman would not do that. No. Here we go. I'm on a comedian. And I've heard a lot of stuff about Iraq. And I've heard some other comments about politics. And let's just go over some basic stuff here for a minute. Okay.

It's not a drill. It's a serious shit. I want to play the end of that. Because you were laughing. You were laughing over this. I want you to listen to the audience reaction. All right. Because I think it's important.

All right. Here are you shit. All right. You see how that tapered out. There was like a couple of woos and then silence. This I think if we're analyzing this as performers ourselves. Yes. What happened there when he started yelling.

Was he was attempting to get into character. He was trying to get into the Alex Jones persona. Okay. And he got that silence. And he realized oh fuck. Oh yeah. Oh fuck. Okay.

So that brings us to the next clip. And by the way I cut out nothing. Okay. All I did was separate the clips. This is all of it. Okay. But just. God I'm so excited for this.

I got the film clip of Eisenhower back in 1958 calling Fidel Castro the Abraham Lincoln of the Caribbean. Sounds like a maybe he is. But my point is they put that motherfucker in power. He thought that motherfucker was the laugh. Or possibly he thought he was doing Dennis Miller when he was like they call Fidel Castro the Abraham Lincoln of the Caribbean. Hey man.

You're doing a Sammy. Sorry I can't stop doing Sammy's. So he goes on. He got no real response off that. They put him in there. But it's not just him. It's everybody. It's poaching men.

It's Mao Zedonga. It's Manuel Moriaja. It's Usama bin Laden. It's Saddam Hussein. It's the Shah. It's the. They build them up. They knock them down.

And I watch them stick our troops in these meat grinders. And it's all admitted. And I'm the weirdos. If they're watching the C-Span documentary. So they've got the 85 year old CIA section chief. Back in 1950 goes well actually. The CIA was behind Mao and we put him in the power. Of course I already knew that.

But now these these bastards are admitting it. Mao Zedong killed 50 million people. While you were laughing the clip went on to dead silence from the audience. Yet. Well that's not a joke. It's not a good bit. There's no there's no construction there. It's not even good public speaking really.

No. If you if you want to take comedy out of it and just like you're giving a lecture. It's not a good lecture. Well I think that's I think that's the problem that he ran into there is he realized about halfway through those words. He doesn't have anywhere to go. But he thought shouting would do it. But again that's what I think is the I'm trying to get into character.

He's he's constantly trying to get to that gear. But he's he's not used to being in front of an audience that doesn't give a fuck. They want to see Doug Stanhope. Right. So they to them he is an impediment to getting to Stanhope. So he's seeing an audience. There does seem to be like Doug Stanhope's audience would have plenty of people who are familiar with Alex Jones.

Right. Maybe like Stanhope is Stanhope's awesome comic who's also a dirt bag. But maybe not an 04. That's a good point. It's possible that he is way back when. Yeah. I mean he was still shouting about all of the why all these dictators bring up Noriega because he's in the mix.

But what these dictators that have been put in place by powers that be. OK. So Eisenhower called. Who. Al Castro Fidel Castro the Abraham Lincoln of Cuba the Caribbean of the Caribbean. Yeah. All right. He was a pirate because he was a pirate of the Caribbean.

He was he was actually you know people think it was Keith Richards. Fidel Castro a hundred percent. That's who Johnny Depp was really channeling. There's no doubt about that. Also Hans Zimmer did the score for that movie. It's going to be a Coachella. Is that right. Isn't that him.

I have no idea. Is that Danny Elfman. What composer is going to do that. This is me trying to act like I know anything. John Williams. I heard a composer is going to be a Coachella. That's all I know. Who cares.

OK. So. So let's let's go from just a comedy standpoint. Right. Not great. Not great. Not a good not a good bit. It gets worse.

Very very poorly constructed. I don't think there's really a premise there. I think there's the so. So the premise is there's a premise but not a comedic premise. So that you're building a joke. There's nowhere to go. But if you are building a thought it's that our leaders keep putting in these dictators and then they fake wars and I have to

watch people die. That's the premise. OK. It's not a comedic premise. Does he does he know he's being asked to do stand up comedy. He knows he's at a comedy club. OK. Here's what I a hundred percent in occupied Texas.

Here's what I a hundred percent think happened. Doug Stanhope doesn't really like Alex Jones but is amused by him. And I think as as we both are sure. But they're friends now and he's he's set him in a situation that he knows he's going to fail in because it's going to be entertaining to him. There there is a truth in that to me there is nothing funnier than a comic bombing his tits. Oh sure.

I went to do you know the comedian Bill Squire. This guy out of Cleveland. Super hilarious dude. When I was unprepared for it he took me on the road with him to the Dakotas and we did some one nighters and then in Sioux Falls South Dakota we were there for like three nights. OK. And the first night we were there they let me go up which was nice of them at

the club. Yeah. I ate my deck. Of course. I was doing pervy shit and the audience had no interest in it and I didn't have the tools. I didn't have the skills to do it. The chops.

Yeah. I bombed so hard and Bill went up after me and he was like hey guys I just want you to know like Dan's a friend of mine and we drove here from Chicago and watching you guys just really hate him was so fun and I got it like that was hilarious to me like because it took well I maintain this that being on the other side of it is enjoyable. I mean I maintain this that Mike Wiley is the funniest writer and there is nothing funnier to me than watching Mike Wiley bomb.

Sure. It is so great for those of you listening Mike Wiley is a Chicago comic who is mostly one liner based. A tremendous writer. Brilliant chops. You can find his CD on iTunes. It is. Yeah.

What's the name. I can't remember. Now we're we're huge fans of him. You're putting me on the spot. Anyway Alex does get a little bit of juice in this next clip. Does the spirit get good to him. I don't think so. But no he hits on something that the audience can relate to and again I want

to be clear. I'm not cutting anything out. These are just segments. And they want to sit around and tell me about Saddam Hussein for some war for four trillion dollars in oil. Oh we wouldn't do that over oil. We're just the big badasses in the hungry story buildings that own and run the nuclear weapons that own your private prisons that they're going to stick you and your

family in as soon as they find you doing something wrong some bullshit law they created. That's right. That's right. That's right. Ha. So this is the reality. That's where you got them. They hate prisons.

Everybody hates prison especially stand up. Because they know they're going there. They know the odds is good. But they're going to get trumped up charges. Oh poor poor him. Yeah I like that yelling about like where the people in hundred story buildings like that that's like that's a nice visual image but I don't know how it connects. He's got that he's got that feel of like every single word he knows isn't working.

So he's starting to get louder and louder as a way to cover it up like oh yeah I'm I'm I can't hear their laughter because I'm shouting too loud. Yeah we have two more clips here that are bad bits and then things. Bad bits. Things take a turn. Things take a turn. Oh and I have to sit here and watch him setting this up. Setting up a living hell for all of us.

Libyan? The boys running this country and I mean Mr. Kerry and his cousin George W. Bush. His coffin made of stone bones. These guys are the ones who put the Hitler's and the Stalin's in. They're the people that create the crises to offer you the solutions. So this is the thing that Alex talks about all the time on his program. It's called the Hegelian dialect.

Okay. It's a process that is problem reaction solution. Yes. And so people who are trying to manipulate the world. That's the 9-11 narrative. Yes. Like George W orchestrated 9-11 so that he could take down Iraq because his dad didn't get to. Well the problem was that they needed more oil.

No no I'm sorry. All of it's set up. I got the elements wrong. The problem is the problem is that 9-11 happened. The reaction as we go to war and the solution as we get there. I don't fucking know. It's all stupid. It's all stupid but it's how you contextualize the idea of false flags.

Is that everyone has this like all this stuff planned ahead of time and it's like well we've got to solve this problem. Here's how the people will react and then we will offer them the solutions. We'll create terror and they will beg us to help them out. Well but that is that is how autocracies and dictatorships really wind up happening. Yes. They do have that. It's not it's not that they caused the crisis.

It's that they know how to do it right. You know what you know what I think. Like there's no there's no crisis that you can't turn into an opportunity to be more of a dictator. And that's why that quote from Rom who I think also is an asshole but not on the same level as maybe Alex would think he is that that quote never let a good crisis go to waste. Yeah. Is is an unfortunate sentiment. It's it's a true one.

It's bad optics to be caught saying it. Yeah because it makes it look like you might set up bad things to happen. But the the sentiment really behind it is we want to help people and if opportunities arise to do it we should do those things. Well and it's like how Churchill famously was super excited whenever the Japanese brown Pearl Harbor because then he knew America would get into the war. Now backups coming. Yeah exactly.

Which sucks. But but he was you know it's the short for for him. Nothing better could happen than the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor. Sure. It's it's it's in some ways taking the long view. Yes. Yeah which taking the long view is always a way to get hated. Anyway back to the bets.

Back to the web. That's a very least characterization. Somebody said 1984 and it's true. That's what it's all about. The war is against the people. The war is against the people. But going back to Saddam he's saying I'm going to bring Doug up here because that's you came to see and they asked me to bump her so I did it.

Take your dog. But. No the point here is Jesus Christ. The point here is. The take your time was 100% Doug from the back of the room. Oh was it? Oh thank God. No you can recognize his voice.

Okay. It's definitely. Okay. And a couple times when I mean you can't identify claps. But when there's like one clap I'm pretty sure it's Doug. Oh if if it were me in the back of that show it would be him saying something and me going. And that's it. You would recognize my laugh immediately.

Have you ever listened to Jimmy Pardo's CD pompous clown? Yes. You can hear Mike Schmidt laughing throughout it when no one else is laughing. Yeah. Because he gets it. This is a different thing. This is a whole different thing. This is a very different thing but the same result.

Doug is not laughing with Alex Jones. He's laughing at oh look at you out of your element. Yeah. And I think I sincerely think that if Alex had learned the lesson of the beginning of the set when he tried to get into character and it didn't work. If he had just powered through it I think this would go way better than it does. Really? Yeah.

If he would have kept yelling it would have worked. Okay. But because he keeps rattling off facts that no one gives a fuck about it gets fucking weird. It is. It is such a strange like up and down for his energy on that. It's just like and it's Noriega and okay let me tell you about George W. Kill three million people now. Skull and bones. Yeah.

No. George W. Let's have a look. Let's talk about the false flags. Let's light a cigar and have a chat about these bad dudes. All right. So here's his next bit. David degenerate Rockefeller. David degenerate Rockefeller?

David Rockefeller you might want to find out who he is. I'm not going to play with you. He wants to put cancer viruses in your vaccines. He really wants to kill you when he's sick. He's really he's a mouth this he's a social Darwinist. He wants to kill 80% of you. He says it in major publications. He knows you don't read them.

So he laughs at you. No David Rockefeller would now die in 1976. He was in the New York town. He said oh mouse oh wonderful mouse so great. That's such a great job. What a wonderful person. I want to pause there really quick because this is another thing that he does all the time as he's like all of these

globalists admit exactly what they want to do in publications. But you don't need your publications because you don't read because you're dumb dumb dumb. You need me the implication there is I read all those. I'm smart. I'm going to relay this to you. I am your fearless leader. The second implication is that everybody else reads those

publications and is like oh yeah we're in on this. And they don't tell the people because they are in on this globalist conspiracy or whatever. I'm okay. It's fascinating. I'm just I'm just let's just slow it down for a moment. I apologize for going so fast. If if anybody in a position of power had said he wants to kill

80% of you. Don't you think you would know about it. You would think but I mean Bill Burr said that there is a population problem. Sure everyone knows that. Everybody knows that. Well but there are population problems. Realistically if you look at it is more resource allocation

problem. Yeah we could support so many people so many people if we just did things a little bit more judiciously. Yeah but they're not going to pay us enough. Nope. No. Listen. God damn it.

That's fucking oh that's so good. I wish I was there. I wish I was there. I want to see the faces of every person in there. Well you can hear some of those people enjoying themselves and being like preach it preach it motherfucker. Like two of them. Okay but that's what I'm saying.

And you gotta know this is a sold out show. Oh of course it is. It's it's Doug Stanhope. Yeah in Austin. In Austin. Yeah that's that's I mean even though he was huge. I want to see those faces because there is because there was that huge round of applause at the beginning.

No and then well okay. That's a polite applause. Okay. The only other time people applauded in mass is when he brought up that he was about to bring up Stanhope. Yeah. No I want to see I want to see the faces turn. That's what I want to see.

I want to see the moment where people all of a sudden like the first sentence in they're like oh where they go. Oh no and then the faces go blank. Yeah as someone who sees a ton of comedy. I would love this because at least I would want to be there. At least it's different. He would I can't stand the number of bland cookie cutter open Mike shit.

He would be a god at open my comics. Yeah. So anyway here we go. Let's get a little he he's still talking about Rockefeller and how he loved Mao Zedong and blah blah blah. That's how arrogant these people are. But let's take Saddam Hussein. Admitted fact 1954 young 18 year old guy.

They hiring CIA takes him to Egypt trying to not kill people. Trying to blow stuff up. Shoot people. They send him into Iraq. Oh he kills hundreds hundreds takes over. And then by 1969 they killed a bad government. We'll have Saddam stop killing all of you. He put him as they had a security.

Kind of like they're about to put quarter cost is the head of our security our new Gestapo. And then in 1979 they put him as the president. And they say sick him sick him get him immediately attack Iran. Kill kill. And he kills a million three hundred thousand. I'll leave the damn Iranians. That decreased very quickly.

Them peers are going to go ahead and they call him out. Why the ambassador April Gillespie sits there on the chair and he goes I don't think you should invade immediately. This thing is on film. And he rolls in follows orders. And I watched it back two years ago. So they're all freaked out with this cat going. I've been set up.

It's on the RPD. I was ordered to do all of this. Dr. Ava. You know he's finally getting all this. He will never hear about that in America. So I like Saddam Hussein. Hell no. I hate this guy.

This hit man they created. But it's the same thing with all these people. Noriega. All of them. It's a joke. They've got to have somebody to bomb. So they go out and create the boogeyman. And have them do some mischief.

It's just incredible. I like how he calls it. Mr. False flags. Like yeah. But mischief like mischief is like he hasn't killed one million people. You know mischief.

Yeah. It's like it's it's you know a little bit of light. Shenanigans. It's analogous to putting like firecrackers in someone's mailbox. Yeah. Yeah. That's mischief.

A little bit of shenanigans. Um okay. Let's let's get through this because you have a show. We got to get through this. Growing up a young man you can be president. Any young lady can be president. We can all be president. It's a free country.

Is that why you've got 15 members of skull and bones each year out of 290 million people. 15 members each year. And we can't even have two presidential candidates that aren't from that group. I legitimately think that clap was dug. That had to be dug. Because it was so unlike the.

Yeah. That was bananas. Now here's where shit turns. Oh how could shit turn. Well the turn already happened the moment Alex Jones was born. Oh come on. Hit me with it. We can't even have two presidential candidates that

aren't from that group. And you're blowing my boss. They see this that's been blowing his buns. No jokes or get off the stage. See you there. See you there. Come on man. We're here to have fun.

Get off the stage. See he said they asked me to come up here. So this guy is heckling him and telling him to get off stage or tell jokes. But you'll hear the wooing of the audience and people start cheering. And that's because Doug has gotten on stage. Okay.

What do you say to it. You guys want. So you were laughing over it but Doug yells at the audience. This is for me assholes. Which almost confirms the I was setting Alex up to fail. Absolutely. And because Alex has no goddamn confidence in the

world he keeps being like they asked me to do this. Look it's almost apologizing to the audience. I didn't want to do this. They asked me to do it. Of course. Of course he didn't want to do it. So then after Doug gets off stage. God what a what a fucking pro Doug is just walking up

there for five seconds going he's about to do the tit joke. Yeah. Yeah. That's chops. That's so good. Yeah. But it's also like anybody could have made a good

joke in that. Yeah. Yeah. But but see that that to me sounds like that was all one bit from San hope that he had written this years ago and he's like finally material finally I get to have Alex Jones say nonsense for this one fucking killer punch line.

This whole time he's been like I've always wanted to do a two man act. Oh he's a sleeper cell. It's a false flag operation. So after Doug gets off stage Alex does a little bit of pandering. And that's what I was going to say I love Doug. He made me a degenerate atheist but my god he's

a hell of a lot better than the Christian coalition. Hey did you see the New York Post two weeks ago. I've already broken in there and proven all this but it said. Ha ha ha. He made boom stars. Certainly surfacing Republican leaders of the Bohemian road.

You want to know where the FBI is to investigate people that's over there. But that's my point is it's totally hypocritical the whole days of giant scam and you know I forgot this guy in the stratosphere wants to go back to Kansas. You're not Kansas anymore. I forgot where I was at when he interrupted me. As I was closing down.

Yeah as I was completing my bombardment. So what's awesome about that is he was about to get to that killer tit fuck joke. With the idea that he was going somewhere. Yeah I know. That's my point is the best thing that Alex Jones ever says. He says it a lot.

He has no idea what his point is ever. Yeah this this set might be the secret of 2017. That could be the secret of 2017. I god damn it what is what what what did he think was going to happen. I want to be in every every time we probably a new clip. Every single time all I think is like what does it feel like to I want to crawl inside of his brain and just

sit there and watch that like the movie inside out where you have those those five different emotions. It's probably just like anger and then a flickering neon light just making anger angrier like I don't even think it's necessarily anger. I don't think it's necessarily I think there's a lot of jealousy. I think there's a ton of jealousy that motivates me.

Yeah spite spite spite is a big one. Definitely fear fear is is a is a massive motivator. Do you think he's afraid. I just said fear is I know but that's but that's my is he actually afraid. Well we get afraid or is he projecting that fear because that's what he needs to sell cold. It's hard to say.

I want to know. Yeah. Well I mean maybe in the years that we end up doing this podcast we'll figure it out but for now I don't know it's still a mystery. Oh my god if we actually had him as a guest on this podcast it would be the greatest day of our lives. If he ever finds out that we're doing this.

I'm sure we'll be murdered. No I almost I don't even want to leave the bunker. We've got meetings to take. We're in occupied Illinois. We are. I guarantee and I mean this if he were to find out that we're doing this show he would bring it up. Yes he would.

I think he would. He totally would even if they even if we still never had any list even if it was 30 listeners consistently if he found out it was us he would totally do that. I also think even though we're doing this show such a narcissist we're doing this show out of my bedroom but I also think he would accuse us of being MSM or George Soros elites or yeah whatever it is.

These globalists sitting in Dan's bedroom but see and that's that's the other thing that is kind of amazing about the world we live in is that by by doing that he only makes us stronger. Oh so we're like Obi-Wan in this. No I mean like so it's entirely possible that any any of those situations so have you ever seen The Boondocks. I knew the comic strip.

Yeah so there was a there was a cartoon show and they had such a great observation about Ann Coulter and then Al Sharpton and how they would go on those TV shows and do the yelling at each other thing and then they would go into the green room and they would just hug each other and be like man this is so much fun how we get to do this and it's all manufactured just by pretending to have a point of view you wind up getting paid.

Yeah that's amazing. So an elaborate scam. Yeah it is it is an elaborate scam and god we should get into that. Yeah that's what I'm saying we need to get into that market. But also I want to take a step back and say I have no interest in a scam I just want to laugh at Alex Jones. We will absolutely disguise any advertisement.

Oh we'll disguise the book out of it. We will disguise the shit out of your advertisements. Also Jordan I just bought some platinum recently. I don't know if you. Really? Yeah. How much is platinum worth these days. Oh my god the market is on the rise.

What would you say would happen if I don't know like the electronic money market goes down would platinum still have value. Oh my god it's so much. Would it actually shoot up in value. Oh way up. Are you saying that it would be a good investment for me to get into right now. Let me tell you if you buy platinum you're gonna get your

dick sucked. Anyway we have one more clip. This is Alex Jones' big closer. Knowledge fight. Buy platinum get dick sucked. I am going to bring out a cigarette because I think we got to smoke one while he closes out his set because this is one of the most Alex Jones style ends of a set.

The Alex Jonesian of endings. Yep here we go. As I was completed my bombardment of the brand matter. What was it? Yeah was that what I was talking about? All right. What? What's going on?

What are you talking about? What's going on? You're wasting your goddamn money. What did I call you? I called you a big fucking pussy. Oh yeah? You're a culture person. Bam!

Bam you're a big badass. You don't want to hear the truth because you're a little coward. You can't handle the truth. You don't want to hear about 50 million people. You don't want to shit them. Hey, all you shit's right on there. I assume Stan Hope is coming up on stage and that's why the

applause is good. Okay. Stan Hope was peeking out from there. Yes, yeah, absolutely. Crack you little weasel. I called you a little punk. Yeah. That's a power right there, folks.

That's a power. That's a punk bitch who loves the new world order. Hey, you want to be slaves? Don't worry. There's 7 million of you in prisons now. They're building more. And when you're in it, cry for somebody to help you. Why am I here?

I've been asking for years. Yeah, no, you know, no. You'll be asking why the five big guys got your pen over the table and you'll be wishing you weren't a slave, punk. Because you weren't man enough to face the new world order. That's right. You're a punk.

Don't stand up, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be sitting right there, punk. You're a slave first. You see what happens? So first of all, we should all be so fucking lucky as to have that kind of an introduction. God, you're a punk bitch who's too afraid to face the new world order.

But you got to hear what he says like right after he introduces Stan Hope because it's crazy. Okay. To face the new world order. That's right. You're a punk. Don't stand up, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be sitting right there, punk.

You're a swing first. You see what happens in the old video. God damn it. That is so amazing, man. So he's a fucking dog. Stan, if you are listening, couldn't make that out where he is like, I'll be sitting right over there. Come up, swing first and see what happens.

It'll be on video. That's amazing. God, imagine if. Wow. Now, here's what I want to bring up. Imagine if his callers were not pre-screened and he actually had to deal with. Ba-ba-boo-ee, ba-ba-boo-ee.

Yeah, yeah. Anybody at any time, like all of his broadcasts would just be unveiled threats all the time. Or not threats. There would be so many smart people dancing circles around him. I don't think so. I think it would just be him because the only way that he responds to any challenge

is through the threat of violence, right? Yeah, I'll kick your ass, pussy. Yeah, right? And there's no reasonable argument. And if you disagree with him, you love the new world order. You, of course, love the new, which. That's a one-to-one comparison, of course. I mean, are we talking about pre-Hulk Hogan or post-Hulk Hogan?

I was always into the Wolfpack. You were always into the Wolfpack. Fair enough. I like callers. I like red. Yeah, they were black and white, right? I think they got sting. No, the Wolfpack was red and black.

Hollywood was. I got you. I got you. I didn't like the lineup of Hollywood and WL. I always preferred you got sting. You got Kevin Nash. That's all I remember in the red blood.

That's the end of that. Yeah, we solved that problem right there. Yeah. No, I mean, I mean, because it seems like anytime he's challenged. Maybe Conan. Anything. Even the slightest challenge.

Yeah. It is immediate violence. Well, it's immediate flip into character. Do you think this is a character? Well, I think you saw it there. Like when he yelled a couple of times, it was this attempt to get into the Alex Jones persona other than just rambling about nonsense.

Right. And then. What does he like off air? Probably not pleasant. I don't know. Yeah, right? He can't be a good dude. I'm sure there are nice qualities about him.

I'm sure he's not a monster of a human, but like I bet he wouldn't be fun to hang out with. Yeah, but I think depressed him would be interesting to listen to. Oh, we learned that on the last episode. Yes, we did learn that on the last episode. Barfly Alex Jones might be fun. Barfly Alex Jones is Charles Bukowski. But really what's happening?

The thing I wanted to do is Charles Bukowski who believes in concentration camps in Austin. But the thing I wanted to bring up was that all this talk about, you know, Bill Hicks faked his death and became Alex Jones. That's a very Bill Hicks end of that. That's a super Bill Hicks way to go about it. Yeah, that's your dumb pussy. Come on.

Come on. Damn. You're dumb. You know, the old that hold your dumb cut. I'm a dumb cut. Texas, man, Texas, Texas. Oh, Texas. Or it's proof that Alex Jones is Bill Hicks,

which I one million percent don't believe and I think is stupid. But it is. It is. Oh man. But what if it what if it was not if it was let's live in a world where it is. There's no sense in that sort of intellectual distraction. That's a good point. The truth is that Alex Jones once tried stand up and it went like that.

I hope that lived up to the hype that I built up. That was some solid. Wow, that was nuts. Isn't it mind blowing these weird kernels that we keep finding? To be fair, I knew about all this stuff. Right. No, I had no I had no idea. Yeah, of course.

That's the whole that's the whole idea of this. What? But God damn it. The opportunities that he has to be crazier and crazier all the time is mind boggling. It's gorgeous. How did I want to marry him? Yeah, I want him to be my wife. We should make a trio marriage.

Well, you're a good Christian man. I'm a good Christian man. I think we all agree. If he would be the third host of this podcast and we could just get like, what were you thinking when you said that? God, that would be the best podcast. Oh man. Yeah, if we could really make this a after show.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Or dude, if we could just interview Leanne McAdoo does does he? So I'm assuming that he doesn't have like staff writers, right? Like researchers, but nobody writes his material. I don't think well, I mean, nobody nobody wrote that material. But the stuff that he says in the clips that we play and I mean, the show, the clips are indicative of the show as a whole. Yeah, there's no way you could script that.

No, it's so meandering. Yeah, it's. But if you had to, which is an admirable quality or no, it's an admirable skill. Well, because most people can't riff. That's true. And he can just fly off the handle. If you need two hours of time filled and you don't care about the quality, he's your man.

He's your man. But that's, but that's like, like he's just a sports talk radio host for conspiracy theories. For the globalists, for the globalists, for the anti globalists. My favorite boogeyman is the globalist because no matter what happens, he just can go back to it. See, if I had a sound board, I could play, I'm your boogeyman. I could do that. I could just put in those like, have that pre pre ready.

Yeah, it is. It is a great boogeyman because it's so vague. Yeah. That it can mean whatever you want in the same way that if you are heckling him at a comedy show, that means you're a fan of the New World or you're a globalist. That's how fast it happens. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Enjoy getting raped in prison too. It was his, there's five men holding you down. Look, what the fuck are you even talking about? That's, that's, that's rough. Yeah. That's rough. I don't, I wouldn't wish that on my worst globalist enemy.

Absolutely not. That sounds like a bad day. It sounds like a bad day at best. If you want to make a bad day, a good day. Why don't you hit us up on Twitter at knowledge underscore fight, or you can reach out to us by email at knowledge fight at gmail.com. We are also on iTunes search for knowledge fight. You will find us and also on YouTube.

You can find it there. It's don't search for fight knowledge. I looked at fight knowledge. Not very good. No, just zero Alex Jones boxing tips. Zero Alex Jones. It's the sweet science. Thank you all so much, Jordan.

Thanks for joining me. This has been so much fun. This is the best day of my life. I hope you're set tonight. Goes much better than what we just listened to. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll catch you next time, hopefully sooner than later. But Andy and Kansas, you're on the air.

Thanks for holding. Hello, Alex. I'm a first name caller. I'm a huge fan. I love your work. I love you.