Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 573: Ed and Lorraine Warren Part I - Go Get Me The Book!

Episode Date: May 17, 2024

This week the boys are gettin' spooky-ooky as we begin the tale of two of history's most infamous Paranormal Investigators, The Grandma and Grandpa of Demonology, and the loose inspiration for The Conjuring films... This is the true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren.

Can you believe? Last podcast on the left is going back on tour. The road leads to here. JK Ultra is coming to these North American cities. We got Denver, May 16th, Seattle, June 8th, Washington D.C., July 13th, Chicago, Illinois, September 14th, October 16th. We got Boston, Massachusetts, November 2nd, right here in Los Angeles, California. And then on December 7th, we're going home to Brooklyn for a show at the King's Theater.

Yeah, Brooklyn, baby! It's time for you to laugh again and open your fucking eyes. Yeah, at the King's Theatre. Yeah, look at the babies! It's time for you to laugh again and open your fucking eyes. Yeah, at the same time. There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot ass. On the left. Why fuck your glades? That's when the cannibalism started. This is the last time on the left

That's when the cannibalism started You know now that I think about it nobody ever really conjured anything Wow, yeah, think about it who conjured what it was. Interesting. Yeah. Think about it. Who conjured what? It was there. It was already there. It was called the conjuring. That's actually a really good question.

Yeah. It was already there. Like no one conjured. They just showed up and the ghost was already there. Yeah. They didn't just do anything to bring the ghost in their life. Nobody conjured anything. No.

They conjure up the entire story as a lie and nothing actually happened at all? How dare you? The Perron family is absolutely rock solid. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Marcus Parks asking the big questions. With me is Henry Zabrowski. There's not a single conjuring in the conjuring. Neither in conjuring one or two.

Why is it called the conjuring? I have no fucking clue. Ed, Larson. Do you have a fucking answer for us? I told you Just watch it but I was stoned yeah, doesn't the demon show up later Yeah, the demon shows up later, but no, but no one called the demon. No one called the demon. He was just late. As we get into it, you have to go through the different stages through, you know, you have to get to the oppression stage before the demon truly shows up. Yeah, it shows up with a fucking coffee 20 minutes late. Like, bro, the fuck, we're sitting here.

If you want me to be on time, Bill conjuring, then you should conjure me 20 minutes ahead of time. Today, the reason why we're mentioning the conjuring is because we are starting a series on oh my God, we've been waiting so long for this. People have been asking so much. We are going to do a full deep dive into Ed and Lorraine Warren. I have been dreading this a little bit. Dreading? Only because like we're really gonna try to pin down how we feel about these very... I mean you call them con men. People

call them con people. People say that they're grifters. People say sometimes they might do a little touchy touchy sucky sucky, but at the same, but you know, it might just be Catholics. Spectral entrepreneurs. So Ed and Lorraine Warren were a married pair of paranormal investigators and self-proclaimed demonologists who thanks to the multi-billion dollar Conjuring Horror Movie universe are probably the most famous paranormal investigators in the history of the profession. You're technically supposed to get a degree in demonology before you're allowed to handle

up to third level demons. Wow. And a lot of this honestly I feel like. As a degree at seminary? He would get, yes, he would get a degree in order to handle those demons because if not you get a ticket from the devil. Which is extremely hard to expunge because guess what the devil always does? Show up to court.

He's not like a lazy cop. Oh no, no, the devil is at court. The devil is getting the free water. He has taken the bus. He is arrived before- Representing himself. He's like, ah, yeah. Gah! But like most adaptations,

the portrayal of Ed and Lorraine in those movies is way, way too good to be true, and bears only a passing resemblance to the real Warrens. Really, the biggest resemblance came in the form of the weird Connecticut accent Patrick Wilson uses while portraying Ed Warren. I looked up the Connecticut accent to try to understand why Ed Warren sounds the way that he sounds, because he sounds like the man who invented deep dish pizza and he looks like a man who also

only eats deep dish pizza good for him and he Kind of like a Chicago kind of bank where everything's kind of like this, but I looked up Connecticut accent and there is none because I also thought Connecticut because as a kid as boy from Queens from knockabout Queens I thought Connecticut was for fancy people. No Trash do you know there's like four fancy places and the rest is New Haven Rob did you not think that Connecticut was for fancies? It's a little bit fancy We called it the country and has fancy spots. Yeah, but have you ever driven through Connecticut? It's the most terrifying highways in America.

People in Connecticut drive like fucking maniacs. Dude, have you been to California? Have you been anywhere? No one's good at it. All right? I think we need to take the state label away from bad drivers because they are everywhere. It's all over this country. It's an epidemic.

I feel like honestly one thing that could help with the traffic is the mass shooting, which I think why they're kind of letting it go. I hate speeders, man. Every time I see a speeder, I'm like, fucking you're killing, you're taking all of our lives in your hands. Yeah. Hey, hey, you're a speeder a little bit. Eddie, the kids have to think we're rock and roll, right? So please don't be against speeders. Sometimes you got to drive like you're on your way someplace. Yeah, don't worry, everyone. Henry is still a bad driver. Don't worry about it. I am an offensive driver. And I don't have a license, so there's that.

He grips me a lot when we drive. Well, rather than the Christian superheroes they're portrayed as, Ed and Lorraine proved to be, in many ways, both believers and cynical scammers. And that's not even to mention the strong possibility that Ed Warren might have been a sexual predator and that Lorraine...

Wow! Like that? No, not like that. He played for the Nashville Predators, the hockey team with his dick out. The worst sports-based crime of all. Why would they name their team the Predators? I don't know. Oh, the worst sports-based crime of all. Why would they name their team The Predators? I don't know. And there's also the allegation that Lorraine Warren enabled Ed Warren in that sexual predation for many, many years.

I think the one thing that Lorraine did enable, and I think that we should all... One of the biggest crimes, obviously there might be some, a little bit of malaced in there, there's a little bit of fraud, there's a little bit of, you know, mail fraud, credit card fraud, various things that they might be involved in. But I think the biggest crime of all was somehow portraying to the world that you look like Vera Formiglia and Patrick Wilson. And that is the greatest con that they pulled off. It is.

Possibly. Because Lorraine, she was elegant. We talked a little bit about this. She's got fetus head. Yeah, she's got fetus skeleton head. She's got fetus skeleton head, but that just to me makes her... Zika baby? She looks more... no, Zika's opposite.

She got opposite of Zika. Oh, she got big head. She got extra head. And so she could like... But I feel like that's part of the psychic thing. Oh yeah. They do get the big head, the big hair, but extra lobes so she can think different. And then ed Warren looks like a landlord, right? The idea that big pot belly, polyester powder, blue leisure suit. And again, you can call him a child molester all day. You can call him a con man, but you can't say he's not a fashion icon because that man knew how to

dress a portly body. And you know how you do it? Many different swirled fabrics. Yeah. And vests. Did he wear vests? Vests and the inside sunglasses all time, which I'm trying to get to. I love that. And let's not forget the cravats. I think corvats with ascots cravats Side stories LP o T L a gmail.com. What is the difference between an ascot and cravat and what does a child molester wear? But even before the conjuring movies the Warrens were as close to cultural icons as paranormal investigators get, especially during the 70s and 80s. That's because the Warrens were involved with, or more often, inserted themselves into some of the most infamous hauntings in modern history, and they mostly blamed the problems on demon infestations, which was convenient because Ed considered himself to be one of the world's

foremost demonologists. And the key is consider yourself. That's how you get the cred. Can I ask a basic question real quick before we get started? Sure. This is a computer. These are microphones. Oh. That's Marcus. And where are we? In Southern California. What's the difference between a demon and a ghost? A ghost? Okay, I can actually answer this.

No, Ed Warren has a full explanation. Yeah, you do. A ghost is a human spirit, and a demon is an infernal spirit that has never walked the Earth as human. Okay. And they believe in both? Yes. Yes. But they don't believe a ghost can cause you physical harm.

They think a ghost is more like when you see like orbs, hanging crystals. They talk about, you also talks of the difference between a when Manifestation like what it takes to see a ghost But a demon is what hurts you because oftentimes when you see a thing and you wonder what that thing is and it smells kind Of like fart and it kind of also make naughty thing and it move your wallet back and forth. It might be demon. Okay So ghosts are basically killed by demons. No, I think that is your, your very interesting take on it, but no, they don't even hang out.

Oh, okay. Well they cohabitate, but they don't know that the other ones there, they don't know that they're roommates. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cause you can have both ghosts and demons in the same house at the same time. Yeah, okay. So it's like when all those gutter punks moved into our house. Very similar. Yeah, that is gay. I believe it's depression, oppression, invasation.

That is what happened to us. Now I think that the Warrens are a lot like the Bigfoot hunter who catches a glimpse of a Sasquatch once and embellishes the facts and sometimes fabricates evidence for the rest of his life because he knows what he saw. He does know what he fucking saw! He almost shot at it and his buddy was there trying to have sex with him because it was their weekend away from their wives and this bigfoot came and ruined everything. But why did it have a hat on?

Because he was hiding! He was trying to be incognito like Leonardo DiCaprio. I feel like immediately I just want to get this out of the way So we've covered a little bit of paranormal activity this year We talked about haunted dolls we talked like kind of trying to get back into the zone Personally because we were going to be doing this series this year. Yeah, I knew we were doing it We just had the we just did a big old paranormal experience And you've heard as we're gonna be talking more in depth than that. We are For me the jury is still out. I am an agnostic across the board. I don't even believe in me

Yeah, so I don't know where I am at in what I think about at paranormal activity in general But just know just straight up as we cover this, we are going to treat some of this as, there are witnesses that were not the warrants that experienced paranormal activity. And that's, we believe in many ways that paranormal activity, whatever it is, whether it's science we don't understand,

or there's something about the way our brain interprets information and the way our consciousness reacts with reality and then how we generate reality, maybe it's something like that, but just, you're gonna need to ride along with us. Because this is an opened mind series that might require you to fucking smoke a fucking blunt or two.

To just fucking relax relax you're gonna need to relax some of that all right yeah I think the concept of ghosts makes completely no sense but there has to be something to that most cultures believe in some sort of spirit yeah you know like if most cultures different religions believe in the same thing then you gotta put some weight behind it. I guess. It can't all be wishful thinking. No.

Yeah. But I think a lot depends on the structured afterlife. I don't believe in a structured afterlife, but that's something. Sure. That's a whole other story. Yeah, neither do I. But I have no doubt personally, especially after my own recent paranormal experience in New Orleans, that was detailed on last week's Side Stories, I have no doubt that

Ed and Lorraine experienced an outsized amount of paranormal activity during their time as America's foremost paranormal investigators. Hangers on. Yeah. Dude, they saw something like, didn't he say it was like 4,000 cases? They said, actually, they said, they said they're somewhere between 4,000 and 10,000. That's like three a day. He saw a lot., well the way they started might show why he thinks the numbers up. They did start in sort of a Wilt Chamberlain. I think that he was claiming he was fucking girls just by fingering them for a while just to get the number to pad. I think sometimes he'd finger like three girls in a row. Like he'd have them come to the hotel room. That's kind of a count for something. Yeah and he'd be like blip blip blip blip blip blip. You get

one. You get one. You get one. you would you would use those the paddest numbers sure But all that being said I do believe that they did make up the vast majority of what they reported to be the truth And they embellish their stories to the highest degree in order to push their own Christian agenda that demons are real and to more importantly make a living doing so. If ghosts are real, of course it's going to make millions and millions and millions of dollars because it's about who harnesses it. Who's representing these ghosts? Where are the managers?

Where are the agents and the bookers for these ghosts? These guys are all in the ghost business, so they have monetized it and they believe in their own special flair. Ed and Lorraine Warren, more than anything, bring that, what you said is cynical and it's true. It's a savviness to the packaging of the stories. And they knew this is a perspective because they were also riding the wave of a brand new fascination in demons and Christianity in America. And then this is back before we knew just how much sucky fucky was going on inside these Catholic churches. They were just at this demons and Christianity in America. And then this is back before we knew just how much sucky fucky was going on inside these Catholic churches.

They were just, at this point, it was like Michael Jackson's dressing room in every church. You know what I mean? Like, at this point, they were fucking kids. They were Will Chamberlain and the kids. Just bimp on their, they were all bragging, they were doing the Legolas Gimli like, I found 25 this month,

47! So just remember what we're coming into, it's like the Catholic marker, even though they were cult members, it's still viewed as a, that showed that they were very serious. Yeah. Well, the dichotomy between belief and scam artist will be the focus of this three part series in which we examine both the Warren's most well-known cases as well as a few that aren't quite as popular, and that's in addition to talking about the Warrens themselves. In this, we hope to get to the bottom of what Ed and Lorraine Warren were really up to in

the near half century that they were the most visible members of the paranormal community until Zach Baggins and company came along and shouted their way to the front. These opinions about the Warrens are not just the wild speculations of three men with interests in the paranormal. I've been stated some of my wild speculations will still be contained within the series. According to multiple people who had dealings with the Warrens, ranging from the supposed victims of hauntings and possessions to those who worked with them on books, Ed and Lorraine let the mask of Christian superheroes slip more than a few times, sometimes openly talking

about juicing stories in order to sell more books. For me, that to sell more books. While Ed claimed to have had mountains of evidence and told story after story of his encounters with real-life demons from hell, this is all just stuff Ed said, and his supposed evidence was jealously guarded from the public and even from other paranormal investigators. That's a part of the scam. The whole point is to hide things behind closed doors so that you're always guessing that they have something even more incredible behind closed doors than what you're always guessing that they have something even more

Incredible behind closed doors than what you're seeing and hearing in front of you So it's this carrot game that they do with you. You're the fucking horse Eddie. You're the big fat utter Yeah, so they take the carrot of fun spooky stories and then do we always add it with the caveat and you're sitting there You're munching the carrot and then you're like Add it with the caveat and you're sitting there you're munching the carrot and then you're like Then there what they do is they keep you with this idea that like we but that's just a taste All of the stuff if you even had an idea how much stuff we had you would you'd be frightened to be here Yeah, I wish I could show it to you I wish I could show it yeah, and this practice of keeping supposed proof of demons to himself, which is fucking earth-shattering news if it's true Yeah, you have it's a real if you had absolute proof that demons are real that changes

Everything this was no more on display than when the Warrens agreed to be the subject of an article by the New England skeptical society here after referred to as Ness and This is kind of we want to give this as sort of an introduction to the Warren the New England Skeptical Society, hereafter referred to as Ness. And this is kind of, we want to give this as sort of an introduction to the Warrens. Yeah, so you can get a taste. So like, you can just get a little taste of who these people are. Now, I'm usually wary of skeptical societies, partly because they seem to delight in taking the flavor out of human existence, and partly because they often ignore evidence that doesn't

suit their narrative. Is that a double negative to be skeptical skeptics? Hmm. Interesting. Marcus just disappears. He just shatters into a thousand pieces. My God! But that's the thing. On the other hand, the people they're investigating often ignore inconvenient evidence too. That's the idea. It's either side of the spectrum.

Anybody who's showing up telling me that you already automatically have a point of view to fulfill You're going to search for that point of view no matter what it is that you find Yes skeptics and believers are in many ways two sides of the same coin But with this article with Ness investigators Perry de Angeles and Steve novella did seem to give Ed and Lorraine a fair shake Because at this point Ed and Lorraine Warren these these guys are fucking the operas of ghosts. And this is 1997 when they're going in here. So this is pre-internet, like these are just, these are people that you've seen on talk shows,

and news. And news. Late night shows. For decades. Yes. And so they go, they really did. They want to like, all right, cause I appreciate what they said, which is if anybody's got the proof It's you guys. Yeah, so

Fucking here's the floor did the Catholic Church like them loved them loved them. Yeah, yeah We're great work closely with scaring people into coming to church, of course Hey, you know, it's great Is that Ed Warren it could do whatever he wants because it even got the fucking collar on and then they cut him loose like the CIA. Mm-hmm. That's great then they can cut him loose like the CIA. That's great. He's like an asset for the Catholic Church. It's very helpful.

It does really help. Well, first of all, Perry and Steve did say that they found both Ed and Lorraine to be very nice and genuinely sincere, at least on the surface level. And that's an opinion shared by most people who interacted with them. You don't think that Lorraine Warren didn't make a mean ass sponge cake? That head alone? They'd be like, my world, I could see you need a nice cool glass of lemonade. I have a psychic premonition that you got a seven inch fucking dick.

Right? You pulled him close. I gotta show you a ghost. I'm gonna show you a little ghost. I'll be back. Bye. Let Ed tell you a ghost. I'm gonna show you a little ghost. I'll be back. Bye. Let Ed tell you a story. Yeah, she likes to share

We have a good time here with the ghosts They see a lot of crazy stuff like the one time me and her turned a little bellboy from the hotel into the letter A He's munching a front. Let me explain. He's munching a pussy, right? He's bent off, he's munching a pussy. I'm fucking him. He's got a wig on, right? Anyway, Lorraine's back. Hey! But the men from Ness, they also said up top in their article that Ed and Lorraine only had a lot of stories and very little proof, making the Warren's New England Society for Psychic Research a research organization in name only. But for Ed, he said this. Nesper! Nesper.

You see it right. Okay, the New England Society for Psychical, for Psychic Research, Nesper. I just thought it would be confusing to have Ness and Nesper in the same story. It is. It is. You're right. I agree with you. But Nesper came first. Yes, Nesper did come first and it's bigger Sure. Yeah and Ness. I mean it's belongs to Loch Ness or Elliot Ness. Yeah, exactly So if you're gonna be a skeptic, you know get in your name

But for Ed and he said this explicitly many times This is his this is sort of his out if one did not have faith in the Christian God and Had belief in the existence of demons on earth then you could never possibly understand his research Put another way you had to have as much faith in Ed and Lorraine as the Warrens had in God Yeah, it's like if you found me as funny as I found me. You'd be having a great time Because I found me, you'd be having a great time. Because I find me hilarious, right? And I know I'm hilarious and I believe in that in many ways, you know?

Even though I doubt, but still the same time I don't. No, you don't. You know, so, but if you felt like that, you'd enjoy me more. I think it's a good caveat for all comedy shows. If you liked me, you'd have a better time here tonight. Oh yeah, that's why I don't like performing in front of people who don't listen to the show.

It's very difficult. Now, anyone who's seen a Conjuring film knows about the infamous Paranormal Museum that is in the Warren's home. For the uninitiated, the basement of Ed and Lorraine Warren's house is filled with artifacts from their many paranormal investigations. Hundreds of objects that were, in some way or another, cursed, touched, or inhabited by demon kind. Over here we got the lamp that Aladdin rubbed or something. I don't fucking know. Over here we got this parking meter where I got a ticket.

Two fucking weeks ago I got my jackhammer and I pulled it out of the goddamn ground. Is the museum open? Can you go to it? From what I've read, you can, but it costs a lot of money. I think, to be honest, it was just closed. I believe it was closed in 2019 when Lorraine Warren died, but I'm not quite certain. I think I'm...

We'll talk about this more in the future, but I'm pretty sure that the son-in-law of Ed and Lorraine Warren keeps the torch going with his own brand of Annabelle vodka. Yeah, wow, wow! Merchandising! Nothing I like more than a doll that drinks liquor. Hahahaha! Yeah. Merchandising. Nothing I like more than a doll that drinks liquor. And a bell vodka. Even a haunted doll could get divorced.

Well, when the two men from Ness went down into the basement, they were warned not to touch anything inside. Anyone who went down into the basement and said, don't touch anything. Because if they did, Ed said that he would have to purify their auras so they wouldn't be left vulnerable to demonic possessions or interference. For proof of this claim Ed told the men that on one visit a man started banging on the case holding the infamous haunted doll known as Annabelle, demanding her to do something to prove her existence. For those who don't know Annabelle, demanding her to do something to prove her existence.

For those who don't know, Annabelle is a haunted raggedy Ann doll that's locked in a glass case in the Warren's basement guarded by a sign that says, positively do not open. And it's crushing in the box office. Annabelle has no idea. Has no idea that all of this money is being made on her fucking back. She has no idea. She's what they... It's what they did She has no idea. She's what they... It's what they did to Tupac.

It's what they're doing to Annabelle. Annabelle needs a nice Jewish lawyer. Here's the case where I keep Annabelle's Jewish lawyer. I knock on that. Unfortunately, every time I knock on that, it's $150 an hour. Let's go. All right, next thing. Well, according to Ed, the young man and his girlfriend left on their motorcycle

and were soon mocking the doll and the Warrens like there were characters in a fucking Chick track. Do you know Chick tracks? No idea. There are these horrible little Christian comic books like they're driving like, ha ha ha. Can you believe how stupid that doll and those people are? Ha ha ha. Oh, no, I am losing control of my motorcycle. Oh, no, I am now in of my motorcycle. Oh no, I am now in this motorcycle accident and I am now dead and I am now in hell.

Well, have you ever seen Tijuana Bibles? No. It's stuff like that. It's, you know, I got a book of Tijuana Bibles. I need to show you, man. You have a library. You need to show me. Yeah, you should go to his home. Well, suddenly, as I said, the young man lost control of his vehicle and drove directly into a tree. The man, Ed said, was killed instantly while the girl was hospitalized for a year, all because they mocked Annabelle. And you know what? In the end, I laughed. I'd love to see that.

It's just a thing. That's just thing. What's nice, Annabelle? You still got it. Yeah, I gave him a $10 tip They said thank you animal. Good work animal As Ed put it you do not challenge evil the way that this unfortunate young man challenged it because no man is more powerful than The fallen angel that is Satan of course except for Dio Yeah, Dio could challenge Satan all day long. Didn't matter how tall he was. Nope. Five foot two of just pure power. Focal range. Now the veracity of this story of the

man and the motorcycle and Annabelle is impossible to check out because I don't think Ed ever gave the name of the couple in order to give the date of the accident. But every time a visitor entered his basement, Ed did treat each object as if it could potentially curse or kill anyone who touched it. That's just good showmanship. It is. You're selling tickets to a haunted museum. You want it to be creepy in there.

Yeah, put gloves on, you know, be scared. Oh yeah, Zack Bagans is doing it like fully to the hilt in Vegas right now. It's like a three hour tour. You can say what you want about it. It's scary in there. Now the way the basement is portrayed in the conjuring movies is a master class and spooky set design. Each object perfectly dusty, mysterious and impressive.

Yeah. You have the incredible face of Patrick Wilson next to it. He's extremely handsome. So Charm. He's extremely talk about the puddles. I get- My dick gets wet looking at Patrick Wilson. I don't like that. I don't want him to have that effect on me. You're really attracted to him. I've seen you mention this.

He's got a big head. He's got an Easter Island head. Also, he's from my part of Florida. My drama teacher used to talk about how wonderful Patrick Wilson was in States. And he did Broadway. And if you you could see if you saw him on Broadway You my friend would also be trying to fuck him against his will Because he is a singular talent. Yeah

Well back to the objects in the museum Yeah, yeah And according but according to writer Stefan Beck who toured the actual real museum in 2005 The Warren's occult museum is a little chintzier than how it's portrayed in the movies Reportedly amongst other items one can find an air horn cool an LP of black Sabbath's album paranoid I don't know what pressing but it's a bit one of their they got a rubber frog very frightening a haunted organ No, is it the liver or the kidney? Various Halloween decorations a lot of Halloween decorations a gray Pupon jar labeled black magic witchcraft items Quick, get the mustard! Get the fjig! We gotta get this in here now!

These hot dogs are cooling down! The president won't be here any longer! We gotta get him his hot dogs! Excuse me, do you have any gray poopon? Get out of here! I can't find it, it's a ghost! And of course they have a haunted copy of the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons guide. Unfortunately, it's not even haunted. It was just a, what I researched a little copy of the advanced Dungeons and Dragons guide. Unfortunately, it's not even haunted.

It was just a, what I researched a little bit about the museum. Oh really? It's just, he thought Dungeons and Dragons was scary. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. A lot of the people in the 70s saw the Dungeons and Dragons for some stupid fucking reason. They thought that it was the gateway to hell and demons and the practice and worship of the occult and all that. People thought that you would take acid do D&D and

Like jump out the window because you thought you were an elf Yeah, they thought that that would happen and then we're like now we have like televisions that are strapped to our eyeballs and Don't say anything Don't say anything at all. Yeah Well, there's also a fair amount of crude paintings They include works like paintings of hissing cats paintings of haunted houses a painting of a bold Red woman and a green cloak and a frazetta style painting of a naked woman wielding a sword Probably was a frazetta. It might have been a frazetta

I mean he better have had if you're gonna fucking you're not gonna have an original one thing In this house. No, I feel like a lot of this is an example of never that either talk about how that the first special effects or the Train coming towards the camera. Yeah, and it was screened and they're like It blew their minds, right? I think that their their basement now if we went into their basement, you'd see it It would look like a shitty thrift store. Like it would look like a big pile of shit It would look like that was one place who went into New Orleans collect factory of the weird where it was like way way overpriced

And everything was this kind of like scatter everywhere. It was like fine, but I think now at the time that was viewed as very Scary. Yeah, it could be. And then it was time has now passed and now we don't find that scary. Yeah. Black Sabbath was much scarier back in the 70s album though. Yeah. Oh, the first album was super creepy. Yeah. That's the scary one. The other ones is just paranoid. Yeah. Paranoid is just a guy with a, and the cover is a guy with the sword and a bicycle helmet. Yeah I don't know why they thought that was evil. I think it was because of Black Sabbath and also yeah they were all into the backwards masking stuff.

So I feel like at that point the rats are eating salad. The fairies are wearing boots by that point. Ozzy's rhyming masses with masses. Dude it's good, it's good, it works for him! From back to the museum, like fucking the real Annabelle looks super fucking lame. It's just a big raggedy and all. Now was it in a glass case at the movie? Yes! Oh very much so.

Oh okay, alright. It was in a glass case. A curio cabinet. My mom had Yadros in those things. Yeah, yeah, we had all the weird little fishing bullies. Yeah, but it's not the porcelain nightmare like it's portrayed in the movie It's a cloth raggedy and all these are my haunted humbles That's scarier I hate scary dolls and movies I hate when they over set deck on the scary things I think it's stupid because no way like to me the actual raggedy and all that is Annabelle is

Way freakier If it's actually doing the things that saying that it's doing why not set it on fire because we've talked about this it's a very bad idea because If you do that you just destroy the vessel you don't destroy the demon you're doing Patrick Wilson doing ed Well, if I'm doing better is like because if you do that you just destroy the vessel It's hard to do it. It's hard to do that. Yeah. Cause it's the stupid accent, but it's Patrick Wilson being so charming. I'm just looking at his mouth. I believe everything that he says. See, I'm turned on De Vera.

But I feel like she is not the sex in that movie. No, she's not the sex. He's the sex in the movie. She's more the maternal, like, comforting presence. But she's the sex in everything else she's in. Yeah, but I can't apply it to Lorraine. I like to hear, Moonlight Miles, the bartender, yeah, getting me drunk and shit because I'm sad. Now, the Warrens claim to have extensive photographic evidence of paranormal phenomena, but the bulk of the photographs that they have allowed the public to see is just blobs of light.

Now, there are a lot of ways that this can happen, especially with film, but usually these light blobs are created when the light from a camera flash is reflected back at the lens causing an overexposed hazy blob to appear in the finished product. In other words, the Warrens just didn't know how to take a fucking picture and they took their mistakes as proof of the paranormal. See this is what you don't fundamentally understand. This is coming from Ed Warren and I like it because it's- he talks about this this why it looks like globules You know glancing around the dark room you see two bluish orbs of light roughly the size of golf balls

Floating near each other about five feet off the floor as you watch you might also see streaks of light flash away from your body This is electromagnetic energy being drawn from your aura You know time at all these two balls of light come together and they merge into a larger ball It's about the size of a grapefruit. The ball will then elongate into a tall cigar-shaped size of a human being. Instead of the orbs of light, other people report seeing hundreds of tiny pinpoints of light in the cluster that, like the orbs, blend into a larger cylindrical globe. In another case, when in this tall bioluminescent globe, the definable features of a person will begin to emerge until the spirit is manifested as much as it possibly can.

And to be accurate, by the way, it's called the ghost. If the features are not recognizable to the viewer, if the features are recognizable to the viewer, it's an apparition. By the way, you got a visitor. Your impression is like he's doing a set of bench presses. To me, it sounds like he's trying to work through a really big pastrami sandwich. Oh, yeah. I can't sit in that chair if you ain't got a pillow on it. Oh my God. You have

active ghosts in here. No, that's Ed getting up from the couch. As of 1997, when this article was written by the Skeptical Society, the Warrens have posted on their website that using flash makes capturing a ghost more likely, meaning that they probably weren't even aware that they themselves were creating the conditions for their alleged ghost photography. How else are they supposed to know to get their picture taken? You want these ghosts to fucking show the good side of the cameras? You can show the scientists make a lot of money.

Self-Defense, civil rights, marriage, production companies. That's what you gotta get in there. Oh, I know. I saw the ghosts said. Oh, you gotta take their picture. They're so thick today. Oh, the ghosts take their picture. They're so thick today. Oh, they're so thick today. Now the Warrens also claim to have video evidence

of the paranormal, the most famous being Ed's white lady of the Union Cemetery video. In it, a human figure is seen skulking behind some tombstones, but the video is taken from such a distance and it's such low resolution that it's impossible to determine any details about it. Furthermore, Ed Warren almost never let anyone take any of his evidence or make copies for further analysis.

Also, Ed could control the narrative completely when it came to his and Lorraine's investigations. might be the reason why we have no definitive, giant, like, theoretical discussion about the quote unquote capital P phenomena is because of what you'd call compelling material gatekeeping. That they, this is across the board. Every single source I have ever read, you know, arts parts, you got this stuff that's hanging out somewhere

that nobody gets to see. George Knapp's got stuff that we can't see. Jacques Vallee's got stuff that we can't see. Nids has got stuff that we can't see. Robert Bigelow has got information that we can't have. And it's all just like, if you guys all just fucking got together and showed everybody your fucking horse shit, you might get some legit money from the government

to resource it. And guess what, you guys all will get to fucking, you'll make your money and shit, you'll get all your stuff, but it's like without, with you not, we gotta see it. You see, there's one big problem there, Henry, is that it's just, it's not there. But they just don't have it. Launch across the table

I see compelling footage every day some of it this one recent one I watched and it was this ghost or no No, it's a ghost. It was like this woman was Getting cold she doing into a it's like back office Getting caught into a... What was she doing? Back office of some kind? Back office of some kind, yeah. Did she steal something? Yes.

These ghosts are so naughty. I think these ghosts are thoroughly searched by these store owners. Well in the only video the men from Ness were allowed to take from Ed's private collection, a man was purported to dematerialize. The subject enters the room, stands in front of a mounted camera, scratches his head, and seems to disappear. And after he disappears, a ghostly white light follows. And as Ed and the two Ness investigators watched the video, Ed said matter of factly quote that kid disappeared

It's like you know when you try to show your friend a funny video or video you think's funny on YouTube and you're like Like as they're watching and they're like, thanks, you know, you could you imagine just his big fat head sweat pouring into his ass I go Hey ghost, see? Look right there. Ghost? You're supposed to talk him into it before they see it. Yeah. Right there. You're watching it. He's here with me. I'm Ed. Lorraine's over there. Hi. Hey, you like that? That kid? He's not there anymore. Hey, where is he? I don't know. I don't know. It's a ghost, right? Fucking crazy, right? Give me a hundred dollars.

But when the film was taken for detailed analysis, it was easily discovered that the video was stopped in the final frame of the person in the room, then continued a few seconds later after the guy moved out of the shot. Who do you think was shooting the movie? Oh, you... It was a ghost. That's what super fucking messed up. The truth is mysteries but this kid

disappeared didn't even know that he was alive he was being directed by a ghost this whole thing shot filmed written produced by a ghost apparition because I could see him well as far as the ghostly light went it was determined that it was likely headlights from a passing car shining into the window and so the conclusion that Ness came to is that while Ed and Lorraine Warren were very much believers in the paranormal, they were by no means legit investigators. Rather, they were excellent storytellers and fantastic self-promoters who made a damn good living on those strengths.

And I fight for these con people. I fight for them every day Because we need them in the paranormal community because unfortunately they're the ones that bring things to the public these these Hungry monsters are the ones that bring things out to we get to see it right unfortunately But they're also the ones that cause people to not believe because all their shit is so easily Disproven and they're proven lot. They're so easily proven to be liars it's because people don't believe in themselves you got to come to the material with your own ideas and you got to look at this stuff and decide for yourself it's real or not right you

can't believe the warrants can believe yourself right but don't do your own research let other people do your own research but at the same time do the research that other people have done I think that's the key yeah do research that other people have done so read think that's the key. Yeah. Do research that other people have done. So read what the experts have said after they do actual research, because what we do here isn't research. This is, but we read stuff. We report, we report, we report upon the things that we have read. I research, I live every day is Ed Warren. You don't think that this has not been a month long. Yeah. Cause you think that the gaining weight is

just been due to stress, new medication and not giving a fuck about exercising anymore. Last time you broke into a church. This is a, I am in character. I'm gaining weight to understand Ed Warren. Nice. Yeah. So after, so you're saying like after this series is done, you're going to get healthy again? Yeah. Well, who exactly were Ed and Lorraine Warren? And how did they make themselves the face of paranormal investigation for decades, specifically in the 70s and 80s? For the answer to that, we have to depend a fair amount on the face value biography

that is The Demonologist by Gerard Brittle. This book was written with the direct involvement of the Warrens, meaning that it almost always paints them in the most positive light possible and treats them like the Christian superheroes they claim to be. Luckily though, there's been some investigation into the lives of Ed and Lorraine Warren outside of the Demonologists, so while a lot of their biographical information comes from them, there has been a bevy of information unearthed that betrays the portrait of the loving, wholesome couple portrayed by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga. They've been together for years. They're religious. You should be kissing. Catholics want you to fuck. Yeah, they want you to fuck, but like this girl's haunted.

What, they're gonna make out in front of her? That's what I do. They did, I mean, they did make one reference to sex. It was like, do you remember what you said to me on my wedding, on our wedding night? Can we do it again? Yeah, and you're like, yeah, Patrick Wilson's of the DeVera Formiga.

I think that Ed Warren was like do you remember Ed? What you told us on a honeymoon? Yeah, I said, oh, thanks. I hope the fucking sub shops open I'd be furious If I just got done heaving on top of you woman, and I tell you why I was the longest minute of my life It's time to get some soup Yeah delayed the come You didn't want to insult you Filling you with cum is a thing. It's just as disrespectful leaving a woman, a full of come like she's some kind of apricot. Now, Ed Warren isn't even Ed Warren's real name, or at least it's not his entire name. He was born Edward Warren, miney on September 7th, 1926 in Bridgeport, Connecticut to an

extremely Catholic family. No one believes in mining. There's no way the heiny miney is going to fucking make it in the paranormal world. Absolutely no. His family was so Catholic that when his father died, they molested every child in the family. They lied and stole from people. Yeah. This is, I know personally, this is going to drive you fucking nuts. They were so Catholic that the bulk of his father's estate went not to his kids or his wife when he died, but to the local Catholic diocese. And the church promptly wasted this man's legacy on yet another stained glass window. Oh, but it wasn't there before. The only way that's not a waste of money is if that stained glass window was a picture

of a big fat guy with a big sandwich. Like he died doing what he loved. And a little thought bubble that says, I hate my kids. I hate my kids. It's really fun. It's kind of more of a Sunday morning cartoon than a sting class. Fly from your grave. Lorraine, meanwhile, born Lorraine Moran a year later.

Moron? Lorraine Moran. Oh, I actually did want to add about Ed's dad, because he talked about he was obsessed with his father. And his dad was so Catholic. I've never heard this level of Catholic. I didn't know that they had uses rosary beads as anal beads Is that he he'd go to church Every day. I didn't know there was mass every day. Yeah, there's mass every something. I guess they gotta be doing something Yeah, there's mass twice a day every day. Yeah, the deacons got a practice, you know, yeah It's gonna get his fucking minutes in. Did we lose Henry? No, I just dropped. I dropped out of my can.

I dropped out of mine too. Mike dropped out. Every episode we talk about haunted dolls. Henry's voice drops out. It really is. I would have, I'm not even going to address them because it really, it's very, it's a lot. I will say, I have the haunted Ouija board in my home right now, and I put it in my- You look like a haunted doll. Ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha! Love me! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding abortion. A little boardie ghost jumps in. I forgot you guys wrote and performed a sketch about a haunted doll. You guys had to do Dollmaker what a hundred times? I'm the dollmaker! Yeah it was one of my favorite sketches you guys did. But I have that haunted Ouija board in my home and I put it in my I have like a

bad juju drawer I have all the stuff that I've collected over here to the whole Ouija board in the drawer Yeah, I have a big drawer. That's a big drawer. Yeah, I save it. It's as big I put all my fucked up stuff in it. What else is in it? I got my dive a John Wayne Gacy in there I have some other like murder memorabilia I got some other haunted memorabilia that sits in this drawer and I put stuff in it to sort of contain the juice in it Right. I put all like you got like powders Yeah, and I put flowers or I try to like make it a sacred little thing to keep it in but I have It you like my comas for my family

Belongs to the dogs and the and our gardener It belongs to the dogs and the and our gardener. He needs his. And so I but I have been noticing that I have been finding a film of slime and a puddle in the front of my house that I've had to mop up about four times. That's the closest I've gotten to some form. There's some weird. Where's the slime? Is it on the concrete like on the doorstep on the wood?

It's on the wood inside the house. Yes. Oh inside the house. Yes. And I have I've wiped it up many times I've cleaned it up, and it's a clear like a gel what does it smell like nothing? They smelt it she called the city Well Lorraine born Lorraine Moran a year after Ed she grew up three blocks away from Ed and met him in

1944 when Ed was working as an usher at a local theater. Two clairvoyants growing up three blocks from each other I mean what are the fucking chances? Yeah I mean that's it's hardly the God brought us together for a reason story told in the Conjuring movies. They were married a year later in 1945. This is how people were married then he was on his way to war. So they just got it out of the way. Because he was already pretty not by the time he went to W.W.2. But he would chose the strong man. Big fickle gummies. So he killed people.

Maybe. Maybe. He definitely was there while other guys did. The majority of people who go to war don't actually see combat. Necessarily. At least in World War II, Vietnam and all that. The majority of people did not actually, weren't on the front, weren't like Bastogne, that was easy company.

Yeah, no one tells their story. But I will say it is a miracle thinking about how a young Lorraine Moran, Lorraine Moran, she went into a movie theater and she kind of looked she was cute and she saw a man that looked like the child version of William Taft and she said the actual like this is the words according to interview I just watched with her where she was saying she's like When I saw that man by that first time I knew in love in first sight Because I knew that was the man I was going to marry. Meanwhile, he's like, yeah, that's a popcorn. Hey, don't you want to get some kind of chicken link or something? What do you do? Hey, you got a big head, you look like a fetus. We got nice bottoms.

Now, Ed claimed to have been continuously drawn to the paranormal, saying that it all started when he was five years old. According to him, Ed's family lived in a house owned by an old spinster landlady who screamed at anyone and everyone at the slightest provocation. Classic pre-ghost behavior. As such, a year after she died, Ed said that he was playing in his room when the closet door flew open and a small light grew into a transparent, frowning apparition of his landlady. She then disappeared and it was this formative experience that set Ed on the path to a life and paranormal investigation I feel that this why I I do I connect with Ed in a way because I think that he

Was what I was which is a chubby Want to be gone. Mm-hmm. He wanted to be close to the where the Goths were 1930s Goth. Oh, yeah, he wanted to go see one of that life But it's just hard for a chubby little boy because there's no mystery in a chubby little boy like when a guy a tall they always say tall dark and handsome and he shows up and he's got a cloak on he's mysterious and they're all like but then whenever the paranormal investigator shows up it's never Max von Sido. No. It's always Maurice Gross, who looks like one of the Mario brothers.

It looks like Ed Warren, who is a walrus. It looks like he opens oysters with his mouth. But it must be said that Ed did not like to refer to himself as a paranormal investigator. Rather, Ed liked the moniker of demonologist. This role, Ed believed, was prophesied by a series of recurring childhood dreams featuring a nun. After appearing a number of times in Ed's dreams, the nun finally spoke and told Ed quote

You will tell many priests the right road to go down, but you yourself will never be a priest. Oh Ed! Oh you can't ever be a priest because that much cock will be wasted. Oh Ed! Spray my habit. Oh Ed come in my little hat. Oh my square toed shoes. No Ed, come in my little hat. Oh my square-toed shoes.

Put them on your ears. I'm sorry, it's just a twin-size bed. It's all I'm allowed due to my... Oh, fell of chastity. You know, it's incredible how much nun porn the Italians produce. Oh, of course. They've invented it. My God.

Well, this nun dream, Ed said, foretold his future as the only demonologist in the world That was not a full-time employee of the Catholic Church, but was still recognized as a legit expert in his field That's what always gave ed his credibility is that the Catholic Church recognizes me as a demonologist. Yeah, the Pope's like He recognizes me as a demonologist. Yeah, the Pope's like, oh yeah! That guy! That guy! Yeah, yeah, I guess he's with us! He seems fine.

Bring me, because this is also, we got the Nazi Pope, there's a lot of bad popes. I guess he was mostly during John Paul II. I mean, the Nazi Pope came after Ed died. Was it John Paul II? This old John Paul II? Well, no. Pre. John Paul II started in what, the 70s?

Maybe, maybe 81 or something. I don't know exact his exact day. He was too Polish to die. Oh yeah. Too long. That's what I always like to buy John Paul to is that he was he just kept forgetting to fucking give up 78 78 1978. So yeah. So he would have been recognized by the pope before that. Wow. Yeah. So even three popes in our lives Yeah, that's wild man, and I couldn't give a living fuck about either any one of them I think every one of them should be turned into dog food Literally ground up and fed to animals yeah, he would have been

Recognized probably by Paul under the reign of Paul the sixth how fun would it to be to? Think about grabbing a Pope by his little slippers and pulling him out of his chair. How fun would that be? Spanking his little butt the Swiss Guard the Swiss Guards are like a lot of times the Swiss guards are just, it's just a costume. They're trained, right? They're highly trained, highly deadly trained. But like highly trained, like Disney lane employees are highly trained. Maybe I don't, I wouldn't put them on the role of like, you know, like Spetsnaz or like green beret or anything like that.

But I would imagine they know their shit. Who's training them? There's not like the other, the ones before does the Vatican have an army? I don't know if it's an army. It's more of a guard. No, I don't think they have an army. They used to have an army. The Pope did have an army way back when we're way into the weeds of shit that we have. No, we don't know anything about any. I do know the, I do know the Catholic church did have an army for like army for centuries at a time. But as far as Lorraine's role in all this went, it is actually pretty similar to what's

portrayed in the movies. While Ed was the pot-bellied warrior defending mankind against the demon hordes, Lorraine was the clairvoyant, the one who could communicate with spirits using her psychic powers. Sometime in the late 40s, early 50s, Ed and Lorraine started their paranormal careers in an oddly invasive manner. See, both of them were fair-to-middling landscape painters, and when they would hear about reports of active haunted houses in the newspaper, they'd loiter outside the home, across the street and sketch it.

And seeing as how they lived in New England, America's most haunted region, these haunted house stories came more often than you'd expect. I actually really appreciate how they got into paranormal research and hunting because it really is the equivalent of being a multi-hyphenate during the mid-aughts when you had to make your own shit as a comedian. You just have to find their lane. They both were trained as artists. Ed and Lorraine went to school for art school together They both were like Lorraine as soon as she met Ed again

I don't know if it's just cuz he had the gift of gab or whatever she was head over heels for him They went to art school together and when they got out like he was so obsessed with the paranormal He would just go like I I commiserate with that where he was the guy that he would became so interested He would just sort of put himself in these places Yeah, which is how you honestly get anywhere in this life Yeah, you got to go to where the shit is But it's I actually think it's kind of cool like your house is haunted You know those stories about your own house you look out you see these this dumpy guy and some weird

Wispy feed his head psychic woman. What's going on in there? Hey, you got a ghost. My wife painted your front. She got something inside of that. But when they finished with the sketch, Ed and Lorraine would knock on the door of the homeowner and tell them that they could have the sketch in exchange for information about the haunting. The Warrens would then double-dip on these sketches when Lorraine would turn them into full paintings.

These haunted house paintings were sold at art auctions and that drummed up interest for Ed and Lorraine's fledgling careers as paranormal investigators and demonologists. So they were literally sketchy. Yeah yeah and Ed meanwhile worked as a bus driver until the whole demonologist thing took off. I find most amateur demonologists are bus drivers. Nothing's wrong with being a bus driver. It's a hard job and they get attacked all the time. It's a very difficult job. It's about being an amateur demonologist. That's what's difficult.

You're right. Now, once word got around about Ed and Lorraine's investigative prowess and their psychic powers, or at least Lorraine's psychic powers, the whole package became terribly impressive to the public. So in 1952, decades before the paranormal revival of the 70s, the Warrens founded the New England Society for Psychic Research, NESPR, which is still active today. Word soon spread that there was a very impressive sounding organization in Connecticut that would take your claims of paranormal activity and demon possession seriously when no one else would. They were ready to believe you and the calls started rolling in. I tell you what if you don't want to talk

about ghosts, if you don't want to talk about poltergeists or apparitions and stuff, it's also kind of nice as you get on my bus we don't gotta go on the normal lanes. There's a whole lane for the bus so I can take us anywhere you want to go and actually very express amount of time So you come on down. I'll show you where the demons live there. There's one there There's one there, there's one there, there's one there Quit putting them, don't pull the emergency brake unless it's a goddamn emergency brake and everybody quiet down I'm driving a bus to demons house here So they were like actual Ghostbusters

Yeah, in a way. Now it's important to note here that the Warrens were very much filling a gap in American society. See, during the 1950s, America did not have strong beliefs in the supernatural, demonic possession or the devil is like a guy who's just around. Like that's what crazy people believed. Really it wasn't until the late 60s with the rise of ironically Protestant Charismatic Christianity did exorcism a traditionally Catholic practice start to come back into fashion But it was really as we've said time and again

The exorcist that really brought the devil back to America. It really did and then there was did a little bit of research about the idea of using the And then there was, we did a little bit of research about the idea of using the anti-abortion stance to politicize the Christian right. That's also sort of where the obsession would go after this. That is a very long and incredible story of how abortion, like it all started with an experimental filmmaker, no shit.

It's a very, it's a bizarre and long story, but it's very cool. There's a episode of this great podcast. I like called things fall apart. It goes into it. That's it's fucking weird. Yeah. Yeah. It involves like a field of baby dolls with no arms or something. It's very strange. And I remember one time Julie's a great uncle was a priest and he, we were driving them back to the priest nursing home one day and then across the street, of course, is a church. And there was a bunch of crosses on the lawn of the church and I was like, hey, Father

Bob, why are all those crosses on the church? He's like, each one of those crosses represents a baby that was aborted this year. And I was like, that's not that many. To be honest, I want double that next week. Let's go. All right. I got my hook. I got some pills in the vacuum. Well, today, exorcisms are at an all time high with requests to the Catholic church ranging from outright criminal gay conversions to a guy who believed his

truck was possessed by the devil because it kept breaking down no matter how many times he took it to the shop. Ford, fix or repair daily. But back in the 50s and 60s, if you thought you had a case of demonic possession or an out of control haunting that no one believed, you could count on Ed and Lorraine Warren to arrive at your home to investigate and possibly help get rid of your demonic problem in one way or another. As long as it was a demon. Yeah, as long as it was a demon.

If it was a ghost, you'd be like, yeah, deal with it, see you later. Do they stay in New England or do they go everywhere? They go everywhere. But I mean, but a lot of their cases did end up being in New England, you know, Long Island, Rhode Island, a lot of the islands. Yeah, there's a scary shit. Ghosts stay on islands because ghosts are Canonically afraid of boats. However, Long Island not an island a peninsula sir

That's what long islands It's not an island but it's not. It ends at Queens and Brooklyn and the river goes through. Doesn't it? So it is a long Island. I don't think it is a peninsula. It's sure. All right. Even geographically it's an Island. Legally it's treated as a peninsula. It's a continuous part of New York state legally, legally concerning the subject of money. And this is a big deal. Money is a big part of the Warren story. It's interesting and somewhat hard to parse.

Once I really started thinking about it and started really looking at their careers. See, the Warrens never charged money for their services. You say they were like the Ghostbusters, but the Ghostbusters were a capitalistic venture. That's what with the joke of the Ghostbusters was was that it's being lost all the time. Is it about low? It's about blue collar workers working in a paranormal aspect. Yeah, but the Warrens practiced paranormal investigation for decades before they started seeing any sort of book deals or significant back-end cash. That shit didn't really start coming until the 70s, they started in 1952. So to be absolutely fair, it very well could be that the Warrens did start out as genuine

believers, but over the years it seems like the money and the fame won out both However were most likely rationalized by the Warrens telling themselves that they were just using the fame and money for good to spread the Word Of God but ultimately they just ended up being a more harmful presence again and again They they knew the power of what they were working with. I think that they More than true believers. Mm-hmm. I think that they more than true believers. I think that Ed and Lorraine Warren really, they are, they are Lorraine Warren is absolutely a true believer. Ed Warren, he's a devout Catholic, but that doesn't mean that doesn't yet. You're not a piece of shit. Yeah. So that's what he was. And I think that that's,

but it's is interesting because he does it all through the Catholic framework. He does to me say things that are accidentally kind of esoteric from here and there but that's mostly just because the Catholics don't really want to admit the fact that their Bible is a grimoire and that what they do are magical practices. Yeah By a king. Yes. Yeah the but if she was a true believer So then if she was then she she did see ghosts. Maybe. Or at least that she believed that she could communicate psychically. And I think they did see things.

She said that she saw, she said that she could read auras and that she was a clairvoyant, which means she can see the future. I mean, you put yourself in enough crazy situations, something's going to happen eventually. That's my feeling. Yeah. Now when Ed and Lorraine entered a haunted location location they relied on what they called the three sensitivities And if a location exhibited all three then that was enough for them to declare a location haunted or a person possessed Now when I always thought the three sensitivities is that it's you know when you suck on the neck

That's if the penis moves that's good Yeah, if you suck on the ears and the vagina goes up and down and something's wrong you suck it to one Right, that's two three.'s like, I can't stand yogurt. So there ain't any yogurt in there. That's one of my big sensitivities. And I was like, oh, ghostbrile yogurt, it could have been a human. You know what I like. Well, as far as what those sensitivities were, it can be boiled down to whether or not Ed and Lorraine were vibing with the scene, if it felt right. In fact, every single bit of the whole three sensitivities were, it can be boiled down to whether or not Ed and Lorraine were vibing with the scene, if it felt right. In fact, every single bit of the whole three sensitivities theory involved long-winded

explanations created solely by Ed and Lorraine Warren, meaning none of it can be verified by an outside source or even really discussed unless you buy into the Warren's worldview. They did the Supreme Court, I know ghosts when I see them. Yeah. For example, when Lorraine was asked how you know if there is a demonic spirit in your home, she said, you just know, which is extremely unhelpful to the rest of us.

Yeah, you just know, Lorraine, because of your fetus-shaped psychic head, okay? But the rest of us, we got fucking small, okay, but the rest of us we got fucking small normal Grounded heads. Yeah, usually your baby starts floating. That's a dead end Honestly, you're not getting any work done Was Ed and the rain put it while people philosophize about demonic possessions as purely Psychological phenomena anyone who has ever walked into one of these houses where demonic presences have made camp would never make such an empty statement. Ed said that when you walk into one of

these houses the family is liable to be sobbing or huddled together in terror with their clothes half torn off. In the air one can smell the powerful stench of sulfur, ozone, rotting flesh, or just straight-up shit. And that's after I change into my uniform. My ghost hunting uniform. And then the real stinky stuff starts. That's when the demons get in there.

I never wash it! I don't wash it, why would I? Objects will be levitating, an incredible pounding comes from the walls, which are themselves covered in obscene or anti-religious statements that have been written by unseen hands in any one of a dozen languages. Objects will materialize and dematerialize right in front of your eyes. Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? But these claims run counter to every single other investigation of poltergeist hauntings or even demon possession I've ever read, and that includes reports by hardliners like Malachi Martin, who wrote a book with the very dramatic title, Hostage to the Devil. The Warrens had their own situation.

In most cases, like say the Enfield poltergeist case, some of these things do happen, but on a much smaller scale. And the somewhat more credible possession cases, at least the ones that kind of make you think a little bit, may give you a little bit of pause, those are just fucking bizarre. They're confusing. They're weird. Yeah, like alien abduction stories. It's high strangeness. Yeah, it is very much high strangeness.

But Ed's claims are so incredibly embellished that if you take them at face value, then yes, I could see how you could believe that demons are real and the world is an even scarier and more dangerous place than it already is. It's like that thing where you believe something crazier than something that was just, you know, kind of normal. Yes, but if he was a real demon hunter. He would have one of those big anime swords. Like he would be going everywhere with battle scars and like demon armor on like guts from berserk. Yeah. You'd be walking over with all the various trinkets he'd picked up from

all the missions he's completed. He'd have like, you know how, like by the time you're at the end of a video game, you got like a helmet from one set on, you got the pants from another set on, you know, like it it's like that's what he'd look like. He'd look like your Dark Souls run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My Dark Souls, yeah. My Elden Ring character with the gigantic mushroom hat and the big dragon armor. I just got to say thank God I got that save scrolls.

I got the save scrolls and I got the reroll potion. There's no way I would get through that if it wasn't for my mega sleeves. Plus two next year But like anyone who really really wants their beliefs to be true the Warrens take nuggets of common paranormal Experiences like knocking or bad smells and blow them up to cinematic proportions Which is what makes the conjuringuring movie so much fun. Now according to Ed, there are three stages of demonic activity, and Ed's perspective on demonic possession is gonna be extremely important

to know about when we start going through their cases one by one. According to Ed, the three stages are infestation, oppression, and possession. If I remember correctly though, these are common designations in the world of demonology. I don't know if Ed took it from somewhere else, or if other people are taking it from Ed.

I might be wrong, and please, oh I can't wait for you to tell me that I'm wrong, but I believe that Ed Warren may not have designed this on his own. May not. I think that demonology is a very old course of education, and that they've been teaching it for a long time. Now during the infestation stage, a demon will create fear and generate negative energy in order to break down the human's will. These are the annoying things. These are the knocks, moving objects, cold spots, just stuff that makes you feel weird. That makes you angry.

Yeah. Slapping your sister. Yeah. Yeah, slapping your sister. Yeah. Yeah slapping your sister. Fingering your butthole while you're asleep. That makes you happy. Depends on how big the finger is. I like a little smooth one. According to Ed, this process usually begins after someone opens a door into the unknown and walks down the darkened path. This breaks the law of invitation. He is obsessed with the idea that all of this paranormal activity is the people within its fault. Yes, he's blaming the victim over and over again. This usually involves ceremonial magic, incantations,

seances, Ouija boards, or playing Dungeons and Dragons. I would imagine that if Ed Warren were alive today, he would designate listening to this show as an invitation to demonic possession. But once the demon is let in, so to speak, the oppression phase begins with a psychological attack dedicated to the complete domination of a victim's will. The goal of oppression is to cause the individual to lose control, which then opens the door to full-fledged possession. Yes, it's like what happened in Brooklyn. Over a period of time, various svelte people arrived with various handlebar mustaches,

some with the mustaches tattooed on their index finger to put over. They came with their bangs. They came with their ukuleles, began the infestation. Then the oppression began, which is asking for Moby's T-line. Walking around saying, hey, there should be a sandal store here instead of this bodega or hospital. See I think I 1920s went underground and came back came back Cades yeah, and at the very end the possession is when those felt people now have children And they're taking your fun things away from the neighborhood you used to like yep That's why I moved out of Greenpoint. Yep. Well, oppression, Ed said, had many signs.

Disgusting smells, ghoulish moans, blood-curdling screams, heavy breathing, magical whispering, and ghastly visions. You might also experience materializations, dematerializations, teleportations, levitations, cuts, burns, gouges, wounds, bruises, headaches, demon faces on the TV screen, and inhuman voices on the phone. You've got to say it at the end of a Zoloft commercial. It may include materialization, dematerialization, teleportation, levitations, cuts, burns, gouges, wounds, bruises, headaches, demon faces on the TV screen, and inhuman voices on the phone.

It may also include diarrhea, loosening of the bowels, bleeding from the ears. Instant, may also include instant death. Now usually oppression focuses on one or two family members, but conveniently the oppressed don't even have to be the ones to have broken the law of invitation. It could have been someone decades earlier who allowed themselves to be overtaken by a demonic spirit, someone the family didn't even know and therefore cannot verify. Demons are their thing.

Yeah. That brings us to our first story, that of the Perrin family, which was famously retold in the loosest manner in the very first Conjuring movie. It is a very loose retelling of the story. When you rewatch the Conjuring 2, you forget that that's the intro to Ed and Lorraine Warren, and it is the intro that they use for a lot of their cases in terms of the books that they wrote.

There were a whole book just about this one. It's all from their perspective, so it's mostly full of shit, but you know, that's what we're trying to parse apart here. It's just, we'll get to it. Now, begin. Just know that this is one of the, this truly is one of their first big cases. Now The Conjuring was released about seven years after Ed's death in 2006, but Lorraine died in 2019.

So she worked as an advisor on all The Conjuring movies up to that point and even had a cameo in the first movie. Yeah, she's sitting in a chair. Not doing jack shit. You really only see like the top of her skeleton face. Yeah you all yeah all you see is the fetus part of the cranium. You know she must have been so annoying on set. I don't think that I Lorraine get to it get to it get to it. Or every five minutes like grabbing a grip and be like you'll die die soon. See, that's what I would do. If I was a famous psychic grabbing, you must get to Toledo. You see madness is coming, sir. Well, until her death, Lorraine Warren and one of the Perron daughters, Andrea, they insisted that the film, The Conjuring,

was accurate to the real events. And so, to be absolutely fair, let's go through the story as it was told by the Warrens and by Andrea Perrin in her book, House of Darkness, House of Light. Oh, she wrote a book. That's why she lied. So, in December of 1970, Roger and Carolyn Perrin moved into a large home near Harrisville, Rhode Island with their five daughters. Ancient by American standards, the house had been built in 1736 on a 200-acre plot of land.

Just as they were about to move in, however, the previous owner warned them that for the sake of their family Keep the lights on at night. Yeah, but how we're supposed to sleep Keep the lights on at night if you value your family Is there something because there's like a hidden step you value your family you will not turn the lights off But I understand it doesn't really make any sense night times when you need the lights on I will not elaborate further Fuck off. I just feel that all of this should have been disclosed while we were doing the inspections. It's not my problem anymore. Fuck you.

I just feel that things are kinda spinning out of control here. Also, why are you... how did you own this house, ghoul man? How did you... where did you go to work, you shadowy? I inherited it from my uncle. Oh, you're a Nepo ghoul? And sure enough, the haunting started almost immediately, although the spirits were friendly at first and focused mainly on the children. The first two spirits to show up were Mrs. Arnold and Johnny Arnold. Johnny Arnold, ghost on the prowl.

These were obviously the previous residents of the property, for the parents had moved on to a piece of land known as the Arnold Estate. Mrs. Arnold would tuck the girls in at night and kiss them on the forehead, while Johnny, who supposedly hung himself in the attic in the mid-18th century, played with the children's toys. Man, if I hadn't killed myself, there would have been so many different toys to play with. Oh, I would love to see an Atari. Ah, I shouldn't have died so early. There were also other harmless ghosts like the sweeper

who would invisibly make the noise of a broom sweeping. And when the family investigated the noise, they'd find the broom in the closet with a neat little pile of dirt next to it If you got time to lean you got time to clean Being in the bathroom with the ghost janitor not knowing that he's in there because you know he's peeking into the stubs. Again? Yeah.

I'm getting too old for this shit. Ah, I see you. Do you need a mint? Would you like some deodorant or banaca? Get out of here, ghost bathroom attendant. That's a big shit. Get me more buckets, please. But quite suddenly, the haunting turned violent. The parents began hearing disembodied cries and banging doors, and at exactly 5.15 am on certain nights, the negative spirits would lift up beds and toss the sleeping parents to the floor, who would wake up to the smell of rotting flesh.

Things then got quite a bit worse, for there was one encounter that Andrea mentioned in her book that the family refuses to speak about. As Andrea put it there was a very bad male spirit in the home with five girls and that was all she was going to say about that. Hey little girls I know you're, but I just want to let you know the one thing y'all need to do, yeah, I might be a ghost, and your mom might not like me. But I want to let you know, you better work. And if you girls want to go out there,

you need to show them pussies up, and I need you to get that man for his money, lock it down, scam alive, every day. Get that scam going on, okay? Yeah, your mom may not like me cuz I'm shooting you straight Okay, because you better get that bag girlfriends Get that bag

But pretty soon the negative spirits, I don't like what this ghost is teaching my daughter But pretty soon the negative spirit surprisingly focused not on the girls, but their mother Carolyn. From what they could tell, the head spirit had the hots for Carolyn's husband Roger, who would feel gentle caresses whenever he went down to the cellar. I gotta go back down to the cellar. Get a little gentle caress. Hey, it's kinda nice in there.

You guys see anybody else getting a handjob in the basement? Baby, your caresses are too hot Never thought about chopping off your hands. I've heard phantom limbs are incredible Well according to Andrea things got dangerous when Carolyn was in the barn one afternoon and heard a swishing sound Slicing through the air suddenly a hand scythe appeared and hovered in midair before hurtling towards her The blade struck her neck and shoulder, but since she was layering that day, she didn't get cut. So a cardigan saved her from a sight. From a decapitation. She tripped on a rake and had needed an excuse.

Then Carolyn supposedly started seeing visions. She said that she was awoken in the early morning hours by footsteps in her bedroom, but when Carolyn woke up expecting to see one of her daughters, she was faced with the looming grotesque figure of a woman. The apparitions neck was broken and her head hung down to one side, you know, as they do in the scary movies. Yeah. But her face was featureless with no eyes or nose save for a gray mesh of cobwebs over her mouth She also had no hands and no feet so what he's scared of So instead of walking towards Carolyn and Rogers bed the apparition

Hovered forward filling the room with the smell of rotting flesh. But just before the ghost made contact, Carolyn yanked the blankets off the bed, hoping to wake her husband, but he seemed to be under some sort of spell that kept him asleep. The ghost, however, quickly disappeared, and Carolyn was terrified to see that her husband was covered in scratches. But the night's horrors were not over. Just before dawn, probably around that 5.15 mark, Carolyn awoke to the sound of the headboard rattling as their bed moved forward. The room got cold as it always did during an encounter, and the rotting stench returned. Suddenly the

room was illuminated by torches held by the dead. Eight, maybe ten, spirits filling the room with light. The house, Carolyn said, was humming so loudly that it muffled her screams. Roger. You mean Roger's just completely peacefully Passed out. Husbandly asleep. Thanks for the scratch. The ghost then began chanting, yeah, I was getting kind of itchy. The ghosts then began chanting saying,

Beseech thee leave! Was mistress afore ye came, and mistress here will be again. The circle of ghosts were then joined by two ghost children, and the room became thick with an acrid smoke. Beseech thee leave! Was mistress afore ye came, and mistress here will be again. Maybe you leave the television on and something nice can go. Was mistress afford you came and mistress here will be again She's like frozen in bed like a cavalcade of hundreds of ghosts dance around cat on my back The grotesque aspiration from before then appeared again and bared its fangs as it drew closer to Roger then it gave him a kiss Quit floored with my damn husband Carolyn as it drew closer to Roger, then it gave him a kiss. I just want to look easy. Quit flirting with my damn husband.

Carolyn then closed her eyes and began praying, which of course, in a Warren-style narrative, ended that night's whole affair. Both Andrea and the Warrens are extremely vague on the details here, but according to both, Carolyn began researching at local libraries for a history of her home and the land on which it was built. Somehow she came across the story of the infamous Bathsheba Sherman. You know, you don't meet a Bathsheba anymore. You don't?

No. I haven't met a Bathsheba in a long time, man. I wonder why. I don't know. Because it makes you sound like a big furry hound dog. Yeah, it's difficult. It's not the sexiest name in the world Would you like to buy some cigarettes actually I knew your name was Basheba I saw it sewed on to your uniform I

If you actually could rotate the tires that be good a Lot of the customers leave a lot of cigarettes behind in the ashtray For free, but I sell them to you for half price. Yeah, look at this, I cut off the ends so you can get a freshie. You got a freshie butt. You gonna finish that apple? I'm gonna put it up my ass. Get to the core of me. Now according to what Carolyn supposedly found Bathsheba born 1812

She became an outcast after her community accused her of killing her baby as a sacrifice to Satan in Exchange for being pretty. Oh, you mean what we all do in Los Angeles. Sure killer children Supposedly the baby's body was found impaled through the skull with a sharp object, but the case was dropped for lack of evidence. Bathsheba then had four more children, but none lived past the age of four. Or so the story went. Lack of evidence.

Yep. There's no way to figure out what happened to this baby. Baby with a knife everywhere. Honestly, well, could anything could happen God he was wrong place wrong time better than one bath Shiba one guilty bath Shiba go free Seen it once seen a thousand times What was the baby wearing? Rumors also spread that Bathsheba was a sort of Rhode Island Madame Malorie a sadistic torturer of servants

But like many evil people Bathsheba lived a long life and when she finally died at the age of 73 Her body supposedly and this is presented as truth. It turned to stone, which was said to be Satan's price for her great beauty. Yeah. What does it matter? She's dead. Why would that be Satan's price? What the fucking story said, dude, I know it's stupid, but it's just what the story, it's what they said. She was turned to stone. We'd be able to find it. Yeah, exactly. It's still be there. It'd be in the ground. We could dig it up and say, Hey, there's Bathsheba or at least in a lake. He didn't say good them in many stones. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now after supposedly discovering Bathsheba's identity and trying multiple times to get her to leave on her own, it was said that Bathsheba tried invading Carolyn's body.

This was when the Perons finally called Ed and Lorraine Warren, whom they'd heard of after one of the Warren's many public speaking engagements. And so the Warrens drove from Connecticut to Rhode Island to investigate the Peron haunting. Now immediately Lorraine claimed to sense a dark spirit inside the home that was demonic in nature. Carolyn then told Lorraine that she'd been physically injured by a spirit in the form of a large bleeding puncture that looked as if she'd been stabbed with a sewing needle. When Lorraine examined the wound, she immediately declared it the work of Bathsheba Sherman. I know that bitch's handiwork. Oh Bathsheba! I know what you're doing. You funky woman.

According to Lorraine, the puncture shared characteristics with the one that was drilled into Bathsheba's infant son's skull during the aforementioned sacrifice to Satan. All this, according to the warrants, added up to the Perons being in great danger of falling under the influence of Bathsheba's demonic power. This kind of confuses me though, because according to the Warrens, a ghost is a human spirit that walks the earth, but a demon is an inhuman spirit that has never walked the earth as a human, but in this case Bathsheba is the demonic power. She signed it to pact with the devil, which means her soul then becomes evil.

But she dies, soul becomes demon. No, no, but that's the thing is that by his definition, the infernal spirit can never have walked the earth as a human. And Bathsheba walked the earth as a human. Yeah, and if you're going to sell your soul to be hot, don't you want to do it before you have a kid the country made half a billion dollars? Dollars how dare we how dare we try to criticize you know all the movies together have made two billion Did me this is a an extremely Wonderful example of what you'd call an urgagora thought form is that it starts with some form of light poltergeist activity.

They then create the concept of Bathsheba Sherman. They look up this figure. They kind of see, oh, here's a bunch of rumors about it. You then use your brain, essentially creates more and more Bathsheba. Like you are, you are defining Bathsheba. You are filling the, the filling the borders of Bathsheba with the personality, and you are creating that. And so eventually the phenomena is going to begin to act

like you are teaching it to act. Now, if Bathsheba was named Janet, would we believe it? Probably. I would be better at it. If she was Janet Sherman? Yeah, I might be. I don't think you can haunt, I don't think a Janet can haunt. I don't think a Janet can haunt.

I don't think a Stephanie haunts. I don't think a Melanie haunts. Ooh, it's Stephanie. It's me, the incurable ghost of Allison. We can't go into that house. That's where the ghost of Jennifer lives! No, not Jennifer! From the block!

Well, unfortunately for the Perons though, an exorcism was not possible because the Perons weren't religious enough. Ed basically told them, like, sorry, you shit out of luck. Instead, the Warrens attempted a seance in the cellar, where Bathsheba's power was supposedly strongest. And if you'll remember, this was where Bathsheba's power was supposedly strongest. And if you'll remember, this was where the climax of the conjuring took place. According to Andrea, the night of the seance was terrible, and Carolyn Perrin, bound to a chair, she levitated, spoke in tongues, and was thrown about the room.

Spoiler alert for the conjuring here, but at the end of the movie, Ed Warren, played by Patrick Wilson, performs an emergency exorcism to save Carolyn Perrin soul from Bathsheba Sherman. Cause even though he's not supposed to, he's not supposed to. And he keeps saying it. Cause he'd been like, I'm not allowed to do this exorcism, but I guess it's time for me to do this exorcism. And he just like does, he's like, I gotta do it. Yeah. I'm the one giving the book. He goes, go give me the book. Go give me the book. And they bring in the book and he's just reading the book, dude. Yeah.

Because he doesn't even have the major exorcism book. He even talks about it. He only has the minor exorcism book. So he's doing the diet exorcism on her in the first place. And the whole thing is that of course, like, ugh, it's such a fucking cliche. It's almost as bad as like the cliche of grief is a metaphor, but it's like the answer is love.

Yeah. The answer is always love. Love always hate it, man. Love needs a gun. Every exorcism movie ends with the ghost being annoyed and leaving. Yeah. All right. All right.

When you stop telling me to leave, you're right. It's time for me to go home. Every single ghost movie. You're actually thinking about it. This all sucks. You yelling at me sucks. To be honest, stop reading the Bible. You brought me here. You made me be a part of this. You did the whole, the lake of initiation ball, whatever that guy says you did. I'm here. I just want to go back to hell. That's my home. Yeah. That's where my life is. I'm not going if it's a middle seat. This is work for me. Like I said, yeah, big climax at the end of the conjuring. Patrick Wilson playing Ed Warren performs the exorcism.

They save Carolyn. She has a tearful reunion with their daughters and everything's fucking honky-dory. Ron Livingston's happy again. Everything's great. But in reality, after the seance in the basement, Roger Perrin threw Ed and Lorraine out of his house, never to return because he was worried about his wife's mental stability. And getting thrown out would actually become a common theme for Ed and Lorraine Warren during many cases throughout their career.

That's how they know they're done. Yeah. Because she was probably going crazy and they were egging her on. Yeah. Making it was probably going crazy and they were egging around man Yeah, making it so much worse We've covered many different exorcism stories and what seems to always be the main stripe that runs through it is a it's Especially if it's child it's parents that are overly religious that have now they have kind of created this reality That is sort of supporting itself. They think they're hyper religious They think that they are feeding into a thing that is making their parents happy that you are showing Essentially you acting you are possessed, but the devil is there for proof of God, right?

That's kind of like why you're doing it. But this but it always seems to end in these kids getting fucked up Yeah, but this is a totally different story though This is a grown woman who's supposedly possessed by the ghost of an old witch Yeah, very strange very strange. Yeah, but rather now we see that everywhere Yeah, my wife is gonna get possessed though. I'd want it to be by a hot witch. That would be cool. Yeah, sexy witch Yeah, it's better than a child This is just just like no one's listening This is just between three of us.

If our wives got possessed by a sex-crazed demon that was yeah obviously same rough stuff, same bad stuff. But also just like craziest like they're super horny about it. Would you even go to get them exercised or be like this is kinda nice?

You're gonna get tired. That's the thing where I like, if I was like 23, like that would be like fucking yeah. Sign me up bro. But at 41 I'm getting tired. Yeah. I think I'd go on a vacation together. Like we go have like a bank, a Hawaii bank session. Yeah. Yeah. Go,, go down to the next call. And I'm like, all right, this has been fun. I'm empty. I've eaten too much vomit for one weekend. There's only so many bananas. This thing going or rather than a dramatic basement exorcism and a tearful recovery scene from actress Lily Taylor, the parent family just lived with whatever it was that they were dealing with in that house for another

10 years because they couldn't afford to move. But they did say they recorded activity for a long time. Yeah, but finally leave they did in 1980 for a relocation to Georgia thus ending their tale. And obviously we know the devil doesn't like Georgia because how often he loses competitions. Oh my God. He hates it. He's going there. Your pretty face is going to hell. We did all the thing on that.

Yeah. You can go find that somewhere. I don't know. You can download an iTunes. Is that on Macs anymore? Available on iTunes? Yeah. It's all gone.

It's just stripped our entire body of work from the internet. Oh, interesting. It's on adultswim.com. If you have a cable subscription, which is also a thing I've never particularly understood, but it's also, it's all, you can just buy it straight up on iTunes or if you see me, I'll tell you. You can probably get it on Amazon, right? Yeah.

Yeah. You can read it on Amazon. And what show is this? It was called A to Z. Yeah. They just changed the name. I just got a $35 fucking residual from A to Z? Yeah, it was A to M! They just hate the name! I just got a $35 fucking residual from A to Z. Who's watching it? I have no idea. People are still watching it?

Yeah, I guess. Now after The Conjuring was released and it was strongly implied at both the beginning and end of the movie that the story of the Warrens and the Perrons was a true story through and through, a writer named Jamie Rubio decided to look into the real story behind Bathsheba Sherman, who was very much a real person. The movie claimed that Bathsheba was a witch who worshipped the devil, sacrificed her child, and hung herself from a tree in the backyard of the parent home. With each successive mother who moved into that home, Bathsheba possesses them and makes

them kill their own child. And you've heard it once before, you'll hear it again, it's always like this. Yeah, none of this is of course true. Instead, Bathsheba Sherman seemed to be a perfectly normal person who married in her 30s, had four children, then died of a stroke. She just had a scary name. She was a real person. Yeah, she was just a lady.

The multitude of dead children angle was actually true, but that was just the time and place for high-impact mortality. And one of her kids did outlive her. Have you heard about snipper snappers? Snipper snappers? Yeah, sometimes actually if a woman's vagina is so crazy tight that the snipper snapper If it's a big snapper. Yeah, what it'll do, it'll snap the baby's arms and legs and heads off.

Wow. Yeah, and that's actually like, it's been a big deal and much more common in the 19th century Crazy common and honestly it's coming back because snipper snappers or something There's a whole procedure they're doing now to get your snip snap you get your snap snipped by by making it you get a snapper snitcher It's a snap or cincher or so stitcher You get your snapper cinch so we could snap. So you could snip. You get your snapper cinch so we could snap. I'll look into it.

Thank you. I'm honestly, I'm doing a whole charity drive for it. It's called give Henry money. It's Henry Zaprosky gets money. It's Henry Zaprowski, gets money dot com. Well, there are no records that Bathsheba died after hanging herself from a tree, that she sacrificed anyone to the devil, or that anyone in the community accused her of such. In fact, Bathsheba was buried in her family grave plot and she was given a full Christian burial. The only legacy she had was actually quite positive. She requested upon her death that her estate be used to educate her grandson. In other words, Bathsheba Sherman has become a boogie woman for millions of people for no reason whatsoever.

But if people were talking shit on you, would you not come back as a ghost? If you were like all these people in this room, if let's say you still exist, totally normal woman ghost, hanging hanging out your former home. You're listening to them all say this whacked out shit about your snip snapper and what it's doing to all these kids. And then you're like, Oh, well, if you want miss snip snapper, she's coming now. I'm going to call Beetlejuice. Do you think she was just like super smoking hot and like walking around with

low cut shirts and shit and all the husbands were like looking at her That's why I see it all the wives got together and they're like, yeah, we got to fucking make but she but fucking demon I think that this actually this was all just done. There was nothing. There's nothing. There's none of this research happened She didn't find any of that. She had she didn't fight She found the name Bathsheba Sherman and then built it all she built it all the rest of yeah Yeah, what's more in her delusion end. Yeah, because Laura Sherman wasn't scary. What's more is that Bathsheba Sherman never even lived on the property where the parents lived, which was called the Arnold Estate.

Where'd she live? The Sherman Estate. Oh. Yeah. Which is next to the Arnold Estate. Yeah, next to the Arnold Estate. Furthermore, while there were some murders and suicides in this area of Rhode Island, they happened in every estate around the property where the parents lived.

Don't shit where you eat! Exactly! Kill them over there! No, they took care of that in the Conjuring movie where it's like, right before she died she cursed anyone who would take her land, and then when they apportioned her land after her death, other people died around her. People who took her land. I mean, a lot of those old deeds aren't even reliable.

No, they're really not. The only person to actually die in the Arnold estate was a guy who died from exposure after he passed out next to a tree after getting too drunk at the local tavern. What a way to go. Hey, that's a cool way to do it. Man, I fucking sleepy time naps to death. That's the goal. I almost died like that. Really? Just got too hammered and slept outside in Brooklyn. Yeah. I like, I got, I was like, I have exposure for sleeping next to a tree. No, it wasn't next to a tree. It was in a

snow bank. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I got like, I was like super hammered and like, and decided to like look up at the sky for a second and like lay in the snow, like, and then just be like, Oh, this is great. It's so fucking cool, man. It was really high, really drunk. And then woke up like an hour later and like, man, I could have very well could have just fucking frozen to death outside, died of exposure that night. Really sad story. Yeah. But same time you made it. I mean, yeah. I mean, could you imagine dying on the, on Hemrod Street? But what's so interesting about the Conjuring and its sequel is that while the Warrens are

portrayed as having played central roles in each story, they actually had very little to do with either one. In one case, they were only involved for a single day. We'll get into why later. But really, the big Warren cases were Annabelle the Doll and most famously, the Amityville Horror. And it's with those cases, the real stories behind them and the Warren's involvement that we'll return next week

with part two. I am so excited. This has been great. All right. I, this is a true, they have done enough dumb shit to be funny and they're bad people. And it's interesting the way they insert themselves in the more it's just so funny, the longer it goes on, the dumber the stories get. They do. They are the increase in ridiculousness, but also they, I do think there's important lessons about media and how you, you are betrayed on the media and how, if you are a public person,

you put your, you're supposed to put yourself in the place where the stories are going to happen. And so that's what these guys were truly the experts at, at being the forest gumps of paranormal activity. Yeah. It's a, it doesn't seem like they did anything that bad. Wait, wait. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. We'll get there. If they were charging the families, I would be mad. It gets worse. Wait, wait for the story about he groomed a 15 year old girl allegedly. So we'll get into that. Even I was saying she needed a haircut, but he didn't

need to go that far. So let's go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. You can see our bodies. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Grooming. Yeah. Okay. Groomer. You remember that was an old bit I did. Yes. I did that bit. No one liked it. No one liked it. Actually people a lot of said they felt they felt that it was to everyone did. I ran it by everyone. My whole family. That's fine. But you do follow us on Tik Tok and Instagram and help you on the left help China fucking win the intelligence war. Go to twitch.tv slash LP and TV to see all of our streams. Good puts coming back. We have a podcast as well which about to release which I'm very excited for a couple weeks You're gonna go to last podcast on the left comm now we're about to right now We have already performed just finished sold out show in Denver and man

We were fantastic weren't we yeah, you're gonna see it. We're coming to your fucking town at each show. It's going to be a little bit different. We're going to be fucking around. We're going to have a good time. I can't wait to do this show. Yeah. We've got Seattle in June DC in July DC Australia, New Zealand, Australia. Come and see it. Also again, we're promising you. We're going to get you that live stream. We're working it out. Yeah. Um, that's what I got. Yeah. And don't forget, we're also going to be coming to London in October and we're going to be doing a show in Reykjavik. I'm telling you, you fucking Icelanders, I got steak in the country. I'm part owner of the Reykjavik grapevine. This is William Randolph Hearst of Iceland and you're going to not disappoint him.

I know Iceland. Because he will change the way they cover the news. We will deform your way and we will do put so much misinformation in there. Yeah. You're looking just gonna fall apart. He's making me co editor. Yeah. You're not going to know which restaurant reviews are true or not. I'm going to fucking say, Oh, go eat at Bernie's and Bernie's sucks. You're not going to know whether that new take on the Icelandic hot dog with the curry is any good. You're not going to know. You're not going to know. that new take on the Icelandic hot dog with the curry is any good. You're not going to know. You're not going to know. You're going to have to go yourself. You'll fashion way. They always find out the weather. We're sticking our heads out the goddamn window. Yeah. But I can't wait to come see Iceland. I love you

so much. We really can't wait. I can't wait to go to you. I can't. I've never been to Reykjavik so I'm excited. I want to see this shit so fucking bad. Listen to the brighter side folks. I'm doing it with Amber Nelson twice a week. Get into it. Yep. You better. Alright. He'll say it again. Hell, Annabelle.

Don't. I like her. She's bad. She's cool. She's a bad girl. She's a movie star. She's big time. She's a bad girl.

She's got three fucking movies. She's mean. Origins was okay. I liked Origins the best. It was the best one. It was the best one. Yeah. I've seen every one of the film So fine i haven't seen none too not good all of the none both of the none movies are fucking all but i like

The woman who plays the none yeah but i don't like the film what are you gonna do i just i'm gonna have to really And i have to change see none of it yeah Really. I have to change. See none of it. Yeah. Goodbye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to LastPodcastNetwork.com.