Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 580: Patty Hearst Part III - I, Tania

Episode Date: July 6, 2024

The boys return to the story of Patty Hearst, this week focusing on the events leading up to the April 15th, 1974 robbery of the Hibernia Bank in San Francisco.

Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the Brighter Side here to check in with you see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Brighter Side podcast is for you! Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb... Stinky, no good, doo-doo factory... Boo!

...caca-like topics and try to find the Brighter Side. Hey, Amber, what's the Brighter Side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free healthcare. That's right! So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on The Last Podcast Network. You beautiful babies. There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast.

On the left. Heh heh. Why fuck your glaze? That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Oh, yes! I'll tell you what, you bunch of honkies. I'm the kind of fellow that you gotta be worried about.

I got a whole army of fellas right behind me. And oh, my fella army, we're gonna take over this entire honky led country. Yes Yes, here is your peanut butter and jelly sandwich, sir Thank you Yes, thank you I cut the crust off Honestly, um, can I take this back? This peanut butter is pretty spicy Is crunchy no good?

Honestly, that's what I'm calling spicy. There's a lot of crags in this. If we can make it smooth as my brain, I'll enjoy it. My mistake. Welcome to the last podcast on the left. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the craggy Henry Zabrowski. I got an army of fellas and I'm coming down to the Starbucks and I'm looking for my egg

whites and if you don't have it, you're going to get a wall retribution son. And a man that's full of mistakes, Ed Larson. Oh my God. I just pooped twice the size of my penis. I am proud of you. Which is not a mistake, but an accomplishment. Well, that is a full four inch turd. Four and a half.

I am the living end. So when we last left Pattyhurst, the Symbionese Liberation Army had sent the media the infamous Polaroid of Patty posing in front of the homemade SLA flag while holding a machine gun. And it's cool. Yeah. This picture was paired with a communique in which Patty declared her allegiance to this nearly all-white black militant group Telling the world that her name was no longer Patty But Tanya after one of Che Guevara's compatriots his girlfriend. Yeah, how dare you compatriot?

girlfriend Communist girlfriend reducing her to a girlfriend when she was in fact a compatriot and just as much of a freedom fighter as he was Do you not remember the entire act out I did last week? I do remember that. And they're by the lake, they're in the Little River, he's got his open pie, he's got his open shirt on, his beret slightly to the left because he's been getting railed all day because Che Guevara, just so you know, loved getting pegged. That's true, that's what Tonya did. That showed how strong he was. Yeah, he rode it in his motorcycle tires.

I also finally saw the movie. Oh, so good, right? The first hour is very good. The last half hour gets a little like, once we get to the trial, you're like, alright, alright. I did sleep a lot. I did sleep through the trial. But Sincu does not deserve the performance that Ving rain. Ving rain has really made him look like fucking bad. He did not deserve it. Yeah. Well not, but he still made him look like an idiot because, but he's just so good. Yeah. And he's so strong and it's very, very thick and Natasha Richardson's

incredible. Yeah. You know, beautiful. You know, it would be a good sin cue is Jaleel White trying to act cool. Oh, yeah, he was as Stefan. But this communique sent with the Polaroid had not been Patty's first statement to the outside world through the many recorded messages that have been sent to the media. It seemed to many outsiders as a Patty had been warming up to the SLA's violent political philosophies. There was a lot of communiques, right? There were like five or six. Yeah, and they kept sending them over this period of time.

Were they all just recorded messages from Patty Hearst? Well, Sen would also sometimes speak. He would record, yeah, he'd have his long speeches. But little did the public know that everything Patty was saying in these recorded messages was either Dictated to her by the SLA so she could say it in her own words Or they were messages that were being written for Patty to recite one thing I want to say about Patty Hearst with the communique's is that what I found interesting was that Patty Hearst was a really good writer so she was saying that as

I found interesting was that Patty Hearst was a really good writer. So she was saying that as Sync you like as these recorded messages were going on like eventually she started copy editing them Why they all thought she had become such an impassioned member of the SLA is because at this point because Patty Hearst I liked in the introduction of the movie She talked about how she was way more of a doer than a thinker Yeah And I think that really makes a lot of sense because she was saying like she was reading all the stuff and she was like It doesn't make any fucking sense. You guys are it's all jumbled. The syntax is bad. The context is bad You're doing it all wrong. So she would rewrite it as she was going to make it better

But also with that it made it sound like it was more heartfelt. Yeah, also just gave her something to fucking do. That is why she did it. That is literally what she talked about. She was constantly looking for mental games to kind of play with herself, to keep her alive spiritually. And if I was in that situation, I would do the exact same fucking thing.

He can't even not edit like my texts. Email stuff. Yeah, obviously. would do the exact same fucking thing. He can't even not edit like my texts. In the email store. Yeah, obviously. Well, the original author of those communiques was sometimes one of the theater kids, Jelena, who wrote these monologues for Patty with little personal touches, as if she was trying to flesh out the character

of Patricia Hearst for a play she was writing. Nothing worse than when an actor tries to write. No, I didn't. Never let him. Never let him. You can just hear Jelena being like, okay, now with this turn, Patty, what I would love to see is if you could do, now think about this,

kabuki. Now this is the Japanese art of theater. Now if you could do it, I'm just making kabuki. And I'm not saying do a Japanese accent, but Could you Now you're saying this but the subtext Now it is understandable that the public believed Patty's messages because these performances and that's exactly what they were

They had to be sold in order for the SLA to believe that Patty was truly one of them. So remember, Patty's only goal at this point was to survive until the end of every day without being killed by the Symbionese Liberation Army. And that required them to believe that she was fully down with their cause. You know, it is horrible and it's terrifying, but it is nice to receive the lesson to stay present. Horrible and it's terrifying but it is nice to receive the lesson to stay present Because Patty Hearst must be extremely present Yeah, I'd say so now as far as Patty's parents Randy and Katherine Hearst went

They had to deal with both the anguish of their daughter being kidnapped in addition to defending her to a rabid media media They only wanted the juiciest, most sensational story possible, Good Girl Gone Bad. And why was that, Marcus? This treatment of Patty's case by the media was yet another irony in this story because Patty's grandfather, William Randolph Hearst, was one of the first newspaper owners to sensationalize true crime stories in American media, and he'd made his fortune using the same tactics that were now being used to smear his granddaughter's name

But remember this is the exact opposite of what the SLA originally wanted. They wanted money. They wanted a ransom This is supposed to be about a war against bourgeoisie It also kind of shows that the SLA is pretty fucking weak because at some point they're like, oh no We can't flip this anymore. We can't flip this person anymore Now we got a recruit them behind the scenes though According to Steven Weed's account Randy Hurst was an exasperating person to work with when it came to getting Patty back Randy repeated himself argued trivial points and would sometimes fall back on frequent outbursts often saying things like quote Yes, but at the same time Randy Hurst was also very sincere in wanting to help the disadvantaged through the food distribution

Programs even if he had been forced to do so by the SLA. I learned just this afternoon Did you know that people get hungry? That's always food in front of them, but I did not understand is honestly I've walked the streets of Skid Row and I've asked each one of them, where's your butler? Where is your ballet? Where is your congressman that you talk to each morning? Every time I want food I just go, ahhhh!

And it appears in front of me. I make a soup, getting motion with my hand, you know, and then super-riffs. So I didn't understand. So it's amazing what just a single biscuit can do to a man. But Randy's somewhat disorganized approach to Patty's rescue resulted in some wild fucking ideas. One idea involved hiring an ex CIA agent to infiltrate the revolutionary underground in Berkeley, contact the SLA and offer an all expense paid escape to communist Cuba,

which would draw the SLA out into the open. They literally thought, well, we're going to fucking met life them. We're going to bring them to the beach. Publisher clearing house for fucking criminals. They're just going to show up and be like, no shit. Free rum. You know, I really think it's crazy enough to work. criminals Like no shit You know, I really think it's crazy enough to work I found out is that the X CIA agent when he went to go to infiltrate the group you kind of find it's kind of hard To infiltrate a group by them with the CIA if they're already infiltrated by the CIA

Okay, we're not gonna get into that all that fucking bullshit Not infiltrated by the fucking CIA. This is not in a K ultra thing. I think it's very interesting I think it's very very interesting I think that sin Q was a it was a very strange person to be leading an all-white black revolutionary group I also think maybe he was just a loser Colin Westbrook the guy who fucking brought all of the white people to the prison He was the one that fucking he worked for Operation Phoenix He was a member of the CIA the whole thing. It's very straight It's strange, but it's not true asking questions

I think he's just kidding and just by saying JK ultra now on tour very good Well, the hearse also indulged in psychics Which were all the rage in the 70s when it came to capturing serial killers or finding kidnapping victims. One swami tried finding Patty by communing with her shoe. And a tongue? And in the process, this guy ran up a $300 bar tab at a Hilton at Randy Hurst's expense. Yeah, he offered you, some people use a crystal ball, I use the very bottom of a pint glass, it used to be filled with beer. And mostly what I'm seeing here, oh, oh, I'm out of beer.

It's fine, no, it just doesn't work. It didn't happen. But I do believe that real viewing is possible. But even though the psychics were a long shot, almost every member of the Hearst family, immediate and extended, came together during Patty's kidnapping. And it was Patty's sister that took it upon herself

to travel to LA to meet with psychic Peter Hurkos. Hurkos was best known for his appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, but he came up with nothing as well. Never choose the most famous psychic. No, yeah, cause that guy has never, he's got too much on the line.

Well, he's a showman. He's not, yeah, the people that are best at this shit are the people that are worst at being people. Patricia Arquette for medium. That's kind of sad. I think that's a big thing and anything. It's a lot I like a shaky old lady. I like a And honestly and how I like a psychic is that they point to me and say something to me that is awesome

Because that's you got to do you're gonna be like Patty Hearst is in a mailbox Roll from there butter up the guy with the money. Yeah from there yeah butter up the guy with the money yeah the Hercos did however ask the hearse if he could keep one of Patty's blouses just in case just in case and several of a delectable underwear that's just in case his contacts in the spirit world decided to assist later but the thing here is that the involvement of psychics was being reported in the papers and Sin Q M2 bay leader of the SLA was reading every story and buying the concept completely very scared of Know what I'm thinking missy and you don't want to know what I'm thinking because a lot of it's very weird And you don't want to know what I'm thinking because a lot of it's very weird.

He told Patty to not think about any of the psychics, don't communicate with them and focus your mind on anything else all the time. Lest the psychic energies reach out through the cosmos and locate the SLA in their safe house. I know what our answer was to that. Sure. Whatever you say. Good work, Patty. You know, of the closet where the SLA had kept her in confinement she'd only been out for like a few days once out she'd felt a certain sense of relief that she had not been killed by the SLA nor had she died from their neglect and torture.

See from her perspective, even though they'd murdered a man and kidnapped her, they'd been spinning their wheels for two months doing nothing but goofy combat drills and talking philosophy, and she'd come to think that this was all they ever did. The dog caught the car. Yeah. Therefore, once she was out of the closet, she figured that all she had to do was play along with their pretend army. She'd do the drills, pose for the Polaroid, and record communiques until she was rescued

or was able to escape. She was completely certain that one of the Hearst family members was going to send in a commando squad to kill everybody and pull her out or the police Were definitely going to find them because she's watching all of these morons Fuck shit up just in their own little lives, and she's like oh, they can't be they can't successfully be criminals I mean, it's so crazy that they didn't you know like you would think that these billionaires would be able to take out as fucking Tiny army of poor idiots it's a little bit more difficult than you think we fought men With the most powerful army in the world true for 20 years and still philosophically lost

Yeah, yeah, we gave up. I guess nom to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a Mary. Yeah and the war on drugs that weren't hugs I call it Make up smiles illegal But just as Patty was getting comfortable with the idea that she'd probably be rescued She sat down for an SLA planning session one day and discovered they were planning to rob a liquor store Now this wasn't outside of the SLA's purview because even before the murder of Marcus Foster, they'd robbed stores They'd mugged people they'd burgled houses to fund their revolutionary activities. You asked a couple episodes ago. How did they make their money? Yeah, they're fucking criminals. Yep, if they did it today, they'd be selling pictures of their feet

They'd be selling pictures of their feet And that would be extremely helpful to some of the sadder people in our country And I think that it's important these feet loving people need to be able to jerk off the feet without hacking them off a stranger But quite suddenly sin up the ante and declared that the SLA was gonna go beyond the liquor store plan and Rob a bank. It's my favorite line in the movie. Y'all thinking like white people. That's the term where it's like it's true. He's like, we got to go up. We got to fucking work. This is a war now.

We're going to go after the big money. Yeah, we're going to rob a bakery. Yes. Yeah, we're going to rob the bakery because that's where the bread is. That's actually from every secret thing. It's in the book. Yeah, apparently they actually said that. That's actually from every secret thing. It's in the book.

Apparently they actually said that that was they would continually call the bank the bakery. Yep. Just call it a bank. It just doesn't matter. You got to see the movie to catch the vibe. The movie is on the criterion app, which is great. I love it. My new favorite app. Love it. But it's the, yeah, you guys got to catch this vibe of losers watching William Forsythe truly a fantastic actor in blackface very genuinely going When sin made this declaration that they're gonna rob a bank for he's a aka Nancy Ling Perry declaration that they're gonna rob a bank, Faheesa aka Nancy Ling Perry, she overflowed with admiration over the audacity of Sin's plan. That's boss, man. The rest of them followed suit and got very excited very quickly.

Spink robbing time everybody! Let's get our tummy guns out, we'll get our bonnets. Oh it's Bonnie and Clyde time! I've always wanted to be Bonnie, or a jaunty little Clyde. The only person who wasn't excited was Patty Hearst. The relief that Patty had felt was replaced by panic, and the sense that she'd had while locked in the closet that events were completely out of her control, that sense returned. Things only got worse when Sin took her aside and told her where she stood with the other members of the SLA. Also remember every single time they do one of these aside conversations, it's basically in a studio apartment. Yeah, everyone's there. Every time they do an aside, everybody's heard the aside.

Yeah. Sin told her that it was too early for everyone in the SLA to trust her completely. All that would come in time. But Patti would have to- So she's just staring at them while he's saying this and they're all like nodding their heads. trust her completely. All that would come in time. But Patty would have to prove herself first. And if she failed, Sin bluntly told her that according to the SLA codes of war, she would be immediately killed. Now the objectives of robbing a bank were thus one to expropriate money to finance the revolution. Who expropriate? Yeah. Two to prove that the SLA

were true revolutionaries who were daring, determined, violent, and fearless and three to prove to the outside world that Patty Hearst had truly joined the revolution. But before any of that could happen, the SLA had to choose a bank. Now, Faheesa, the SLA member who worships sin and effectively worked as a second in command, she begged to go out on bank surveillance because she hadn't left the safe house in weeks. Nothing would make me happier than watching a bank from across the street. Any other street. Any other experience. You know you gotta be fucking bored to want to go to

the bank. Oh yeah. Well the others said that letting Faheesa leave was a bad idea because Faheesa was not only the most recognizable person in the group outside of Patty because Faheesa was five feet tall, but she also got nervous and jumpy the moment she stepped foot outside. She also liked, she was probably of all of them, the most Rachel Dolezal-esque. She had the full braids, she had the whole thing, she stuck out. She the one that Patty thought was black because of her voice? Yes.

Yes. Sen however, decreed that Faheesa could be on the surveillance team if her disguise was good enough. So, Jelena, the theater kid in charge of disguises. Oh, project! Yes, I love the design. Let me guess, acrobat? Jackie.

Construction worker. Native American. Police officer. Well, Jelena made the 27-year-old Faheesa look like a 60-year-old woman, giving her a gray wig, a shawl fit for a grandmother, and heavy support hose in addition to cheeks stuffed with cotton. You realize that that's just like from, like, somebody came to dinner. You know what I mean? Like some bullshit 1950s play. Oh, it's like, no, they're doing arsenic and old lace. Yeah, you can't look like that not on a stage with lights on you. Like if you dress like that in person, you look like a five-foot tall white woman pretending to be a black woman pretending to be an old woman. They didn't make her black and also old. They just made her old.

She made herself black. That is true. Jelena, meanwhile, made herself the pregnant housewife, using a pillow stuffed under her dress to complete the illusion. The third member of the surveillance team, Tico, just had to shave and put on clean clothes to look like a totally new person. I wanted to be black! Just take a bath, Tico. No, he won't. He says that's bourgeois.

Yes, it's everything is bourgeois. Anything that's nicegeois. Yes, it's everything is bourgeois. Anything that's nice. Anything that makes you feel good is bourgeois. Anything to make you not be lazy. Yes. Whoa, Eddie, hot take. Hot take, hot take. Together, this team planned to go out as tourists, snapping Polaroid pictures of themselves outside

various banks on the SLA's target list to scout both the bank entrances and the surrounding streets. They would then walk into the banks and memorize the pertinent details. With those details in mind, they would return to the safe house and draw diagrams of the bank's layouts. But after meticulously scouting different locations, the Symbionese Liberation Army settled on the Hibernia Bank branch in the Sunset District of San Francisco Now in another incredible coincidence the president of that bank was Patty Hearst's best friend's father

That's totally true. And this was a fact that Patty kept to herself and another She was so mad that that was the bank they chose all the all the banks in San Francisco, one of the greatest metropolises in the world. Now, as I mentioned earlier, Patty being inside the bank during the robbery was a major reason why they were committing such a daring public crime. But Patty tried talking her way out of being on the inside team. She argued that she was too physically weak and the least trained But sin said that she not only needed to be seen on camera But she was also going to be required to make a prepared speech for the world to hear

It's so obnoxious because she was the least trained and she was the most physically we use 90 pounds She just spent 57 days in a closet. She really was a She just spent 57 days in a closet. She really was a weight on the team. And so this is really all about sins. One thing he did understand was public relations in a way. Where he knew that this would be a big coup. But I also sort of thought in the back of his mind, then if one of us gets killed, it's you.

It's Patty Hearst. Because you are the least experienced. And then you get killed in the line of fire and then we look even more intense. Maybe. But, as Patty was trying to talk her way into the outside team, Kaju was desperately trying to talk his way in. Yeah! He thought it was unfair that it was always his job to drive the backup vehicles, which

is the same job he'd had during Patty's kidnapping. And he did a good job at it and you should feel good that he's just doing again He always does a good job Rays and I want to be more important and I want to go boom boom I don't want to see all those dirty honkies shaking in their loafers the backup vehicle is extremely important. God you That's the thing is actually sitting like a fatherly tone is like you're very important Your job is very big I do If I were black what sport would I play Cricket.

Don't be mean I was going to say baseball. You could be the next King Griffey Jr. What? I think so. And Sen told him like if the cops do show up before the inside team escapes. Bang pow I'll get him. Yup. You can absolutely kill some cops.

You can. Zingy zow woo yeah woo yeah. You can absolutely kill some cops. Zingy Sal, ooh yeah, ooh yeah. You can. Puppity pop, ooh, ha ha, you bet. Yeah. And so Kaju took what he could get. And in the days leading up to the bank robbery, Kaju could be seen in the safe house, rubbing his hands together and muttering, quote,

Oh, I hope they come. Oh, I wanna kill some pigs. Yes, I wanna kill some pigs. Yes. I want to kill some pigs Yes Gotta kill some pigs She's like not scared of them as like she's just scared of what's gonna happen because she's with them. Yes scared. Yes Yes, and she's also she's scared. She's scared of sin and It's hard like and she is. And she is scared of them too.

If at one point someone starts making an argument, like, I don't think she's enough. I don't think she's really proven herself. I think that she's lying to us. And if that conversation gets far enough, then yeah, they could end up killing her. I completely think that they would... It's very...

It's worse that they don't know what they're doing. If they knew what they were doing, then maybe then they actually could have handled and flipped this into some sort of real actual Like she was scared of the barbara mackle kidnapping Which was a story of a young girl that was buried in a fucking like she literally was kidnapped and buried So that's what she was afraid that was going to happen at any point Yeah, but the thing is that we keep saying over and over again that they didn't know what they were doing No, no now it shows that they might have. Yeah. But because Kaju was kind of a dud, he, along with Patty, was one of the grunts in the SLA.

But he was super happy about it. Yeah. The third grunt was the woman that we've been called Gabby, but apparently it's pronounced Gabi. Oh, sure. And she had only joined the SLA because she was still in love with her ex-girlfriend Zoya, aka Ms. Moon. Now according to rank, Kaju, Patty and Gabi took orders while every other member of the SLA was free to give them to everyone but Sin. Sin, of course, stayed on top at all times, because remember, it was the philosophy of the SLA that only a black man could lead them.

Now Sin didn't do any of the calisthenics or combat drills that everyone else was required to do every day Instead he spent most of his time swilling cheap plum wine the brand of this wine According to one source was Boone's farm Sickly sweet, but yeah, it's this is where we really start to enter into cult territory Yeah, because sin let's just say we now I view this is what shows his true character Is that he's maybe not the revolutionary that he says he is Maybe he is just really excited about having a bunch of people that he can control slash randomly fuck and he likes putting one Against a bunch of rich people. He likes the fact that Patty Hearst is hanging out and this is just him

Drinking his way into but will eventually it's just what does your brain? Yeah, and he's also he's also saying shit like you know like everybody needs to you know take the shirts off It's too hot in here. Everybody's naked. Yeah, everybody Yeah, their tits are out and you walk up And he'd like you know fondled but woman's breath like a a member's breast, just out of nowhere and they would let him, you know, it's just, he's living a fantasy. A 12 year old's dream. Yeah.

It's fucking sugar, liquor, liquor. Boobs. Yeah, boobs. And all while Sin watched everyone run around the safe house like a bunch of idiots, he would tell them that without him, they would be nothing. It's true. There'd be no revolution and they were lucky that a black man was doing them the favor of training them to be revolutionary. You're sure right, Sin!

I'm the luckiest white man there's ever been! I love you! Now the bank robbery was planned out in painstaking detail and rehearsed as if it were the opening of a Broadway play. Drawing upon the theater education of Tico, Yolanda and Jelena, the whole operation was blocked and timed to perfection. See the SLA was divided into two combat teams, one inside the bank and one outside. For the insiders, Sin chose himself, Faheesa, Zoya, Gabi, and Patti. The other four would wait outside and cover the entrance just in case the cop showed up. Also, I think it's interesting. Did we cover last week about, or the first week about how

Sin Q hated Gabi? We did not, but yeah, he absolutely, well, it's not that he hated her. It's like she puzzled him because Gabi was a lesbian. Yeah, and like Everybody else was either bi or whatever. Yeah, then couldn't he couldn't wrap his head around with lesbianism. He couldn't he Literally couldn't understand it but that he and it bothered him Yeah So then he made her specifically be the front of the spear to get shot first every time Yeah, anytime they ran combat drills, you would put her in the very front.

Like if like the combat drills of like, if the cops came in to bust into the apartment, like Gabi was the one at the front who would get shot first. She was always in the most vulnerable position. But they're telling her it's because she's so good. Yeah. And she's so quick. We need you to be the point man here. So was she saying no to sex

Actually, that's it was the opposite is that they would actually have meetings where they would talk about who was having sex with who? And they would be like nobody's fucking Gabi Somebody needs to fuck somebody has to fuck a bee You know like in Zoya would every once in a while cuz she was her ex-girlfriend But for the most part could be was like, you know what? I'm fine. I'm okay I'm tired. I'm tired Everyone was that cuz that's the other thing about it is that it wasn't the type of cult where like everybody's fucking all the time There's these huge orgies

Actually, there was very little sex in the SLA because everyone was fucking exhausted from running combat drills constantly and probably just malnutrition Yes. Yeah Well, if the cops showed up the outside team would open fire while the inside team fought their way out And if that were to occur the SLA would either escape as a unit or die together Because no one was gonna be left behind but sin might have might leave but again the revolution can't go without it But despite all their planning the SLA was a mess on the night before the robbery. Kaju in particular was so distressed that his ulcer acted up and he had a severe case of diarrhea that lasted all evening as a result.

Oh fuck I think this diarrhea is a cop! God shut this down! But on the morning of the robbery April 15th 1974 the SLA was more somber than nervous The weapons they were to use were lined up neatly along the bedroom wall ordered according to who was using what gun as for Patty she was assigned an M1 semi-automatic Carbine with a sawed-off barrel cool while the others were armed with submachine guns and shotguns, and the entire SLA, save for Patty, were ready to kill at any provocation.

As for Patty's part, her only real job was to be Tonya Hearst. She had diligently memorized and practiced the speech she was supposed to give inside the bank, which was timed to last for the duration of the robbery. One and a half minutes, in and out. And then I sing, and then Gabi, we'll get to your part, and then Teco, what I need you to do is do the monologue from Henry V so that they all can see how serious we plan to enter upon the breach. I thought it was Henry V

If I have to do one more drama turgy session with you I'm only gonna fuck you once this But to put even more pressure on her monologue Sen repeated to Patty just before the robbery that if she fucked up or did anything other than what she was supposed to do He would according to the SLA codes of war kill her himself I this kind of reminds me when I gave hold in the note the bullet before last time we did side stories to not be himself It had been just 13 days since Patty had been let out of the closet to be welcomed into the SLA It's crazy to think that it really did happen that fast

Yeah, and when they left the safe house that morning It was the first time that Patty had breathed fresh air in almost two and a half months Now once they got to the bank and the inside team gathered at the door Sen gave Patty and Gabi a nod hiding guns under their coats They walked inside together and strode the length of the bank where they could pretend to fill out a deposit slip on the opposite side of the room. Within seconds, Zoya rushed into the bank with her gun already drawn, with Faheesa following behind. But even though the SLA had constantly trained, they'd constantly trained badly.

That's what we're talking about! It's a lot of training, but it's a lot of bad training Yes, and for he's his ammunition clip immediately dropped out of her machine gun and hit the ground scattering bullets all over the floor But as she knelt down to grab the clip sin charged in waving his own Submachine gun which was Patty's cue to pull out her M1 carbine and point it at the assistant bank manager and the two other employees who were sitting at their desks nearby. Sin then took over, yelling that this is a holdup and the first motherfucker who doesn't lay down on the floor is gonna get shot in the head. Faheesa meanwhile was menacing the room with her submachine guns and kicking customers who'd followed Sin's instructions while screaming,

SLA! SLA! Get on the floor and you won't get hurt! But they are getting hurt! They did what they said. Yeah, you're kidding me. Hey, now, hey! I'm sure it was a tiny foot.

She was like, oh my god. She was five foot tall. Zoya then hopped over the partition that separated the tellers from the customers so she could reach the cash drawers. And they practiced that by jumping back and forth across the couch. Patty, meanwhile, didn't remember saying or doing anything other than pointing her gun at the people on the floor in front of her. She was so blank, in fact, that the bank's assistant manager later

said that he asked her if he should lie down too. She didn't even hear him. She didn't respond. Suddenly, though, Patty remembered the whole reason why she was there. The monologue. Spotlights on Patty. Now, Patty was supposed to say her name and proclaim that this was not a robbery, but an expropriation of capitalist funds for the Symbionese Liberation Army, which was carrying

on a war against the United States on behalf of all the poor and oppressed peoples. And that Patty Hearst, Tanya, had joined the SLA voluntarily and was fighting on her own free will. But when it came time to say all this, Patty, in the loudest voice she could muster said, This is Tanya! Patricia Hearst. And then she immediately forgot everything she was supposed to say.

It's a big moment. Yeah. But before she could catch her bearings, Sin signaled that it was time to leave. But as they were heading out, Patty heard the rapid shots of a sub-machine gun and saw an elderly man stumbling out of the door to the bank. This man was the owner of a neighboring liquor store named Peter Markoff who'd come in just to deposit receipts. From what I can tell, Markoff walked in and immediately tried walking right back out when

he saw a bank robbery in progress. As I would do. But Faheesa, who was amped out of her fucking mind, she crouched her five foot frame and fired, hitting Markoff in the right butt cheek and right leg. Something jumped up and bit me. Another customer was entering at the same time, a 70 year old man, and he was also shot and wounded in the hip.

Thankfully though, both men survived, but still lay bleeding on the ground as the members of the SLA hopped over their bodies on their way to the getaway car across the street. Yeah, now we're going to be driving everywhere. You'll see what happens when you put Kajo in charge of the steering wheel. Oh yeah, shame on a fella who tried to run game on a fella. Once the team was inside the car, it sped off with the switch car behind them. In the switch car, they'd left behind a middle-aged woman who had stood at the window of the SLA's Dodge Dart throughout the robbery saying,

oh, how exciting this is. So after just a couple blocks, the inside team switched cars and arrived at the safe house without incident. And when Zoya and Yolanda returned after dumping the two getaway cars in a parking garage in a distant part of the city the celebrations began. Yeah the only way they can. For all the shit we talked it fucking worked. Oh yeah. Not a single fucking bit of friction not a single

fucking hitch. They shot two people. Well that's what they wanted. But that's that's the thing shooting two people even better press. what they wanted. But that's the thing, shooting two people, even better press. Because it shows everyone that they don't give a fuck. Power confidence my friend. Everyone laughed and congratulated each other and Jelena, ever the drama major, stuffed a $20 bill from the robbery into her mouth and said quote, It looks so good I could eat it. In other words, the SLA had gotten away with it fully and completely without a single hitch other than Patty forgetting her monologue. Sin thankfully forgave her for that though and even Faheesa told Patty that it was a good thing that she at least remembered to say her name. That's what they needed out.

That's really what they needed was her saying something because it shows that she wasn't there with a gun to the back of her head in that scenario according to the rest of the population. Yep. In all, the SLA had come out with a modern equivalent of over $60,000. Very successful. And when they switched on the radio after returning from admittedly their second successful operation in a row, they heard a new song by the Ohio players called For the Love of Money, which is this recognizable and funky as fuck intro. I love that it's seven minutes long too. I love that it's seven minutes long. Yeah, it's fucking great. Ironically, considering the SLA's jubilation, for the love of money is all about how people justify the horrible things they do for money.

But at that moment, all the SLA cared about was that the revolution was now well funded. But as far as how Patti felt, all hope she had of rescue or escape melted away. She had crossed a line, and in her mind, her situation was plain. Patti was now a bank robber. She was a revolutionary who'd worked side by side with the SLA, and there was no turning back now. And this is just where the story gets truly done for a lot of people where they see this and everyone assumed especially the it went like wildfire across the country people

criticizing Patty Hearst and because the SLA were so up their own ass for all of their various media notices they were reading all of the opinion pieces and all of it because it was not unlike not that far off from now, except now we have so many different digital ways to harass you on a constant level 24 hours a day, where this was just like, they were listening on the radio and reading the newspaper, and Patty Hearst realized like, everybody hates me.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, also at this point, you have to realize that if the cops do show up, they're not trying to save you anymore. According, in her mind. Now this isn't still, but yes, but we know there's things behind the, as the omniscient narrators,

we know that there are things that are happening behind the scenes, but this is Patty Hearst's reality now, is that they'll shoot me just the same as they'll shoot any one of these other people. And the cops, I think they love killing people now. But, back then it was a lot worse. Well, Patty's only course of survival was to live day to day and play the part while

praying that somehow she would survive. This belief would inform Patty's every action until she was finally arrested, even after most of the SLA was already dead. And even today, when people think about the Patty Hearst story, they think Patty Hearst kidnapped, Patty Hearst bank robbery, Patty Hearst arrested. Oh no. There is a massive, actually the vast majority

of the Patty Hearst story occurs after the bank robbery. Now. Yeah, that begins now. Well, we have less than two episodes left. You know, listen, Eddie, just remember that every episode of Last Podcast, every series of Last Podcast on the left, takes about three hours to get to the proper material and takes and then another three hours to explore the material. This is what we do.

Yeah. Well, the one threat to Patty being fully accepted into the SLA was a press conference by who else but Stephen Weed Who was regularly becoming a fixture in the media when it came to opinions about Patty? Steve told the media that he couldn't believe that Patty had willingly chosen to stay and fight with the SLA of her own free will And when Patty heard that she knew that he meant well But wanted nothing more than for Steven to just shut the fuck up Yeah, this is this is true Patty realized when she'd made those kind of like what Patty Hearst has which I think is an incredibly beautiful

Quality that has allowed her to live but some people would not like is that she has a true detached Sense of self she can she is very self-conscious and she has a true detached sense of self. She can, she is very self-conscious and she has a sense of the ironic and that saved her. She is kind of like a, in that way, like in a hipster mode, hers kind of sardonic sense of humor kept her alive. And she realized in this scenario, she's like, Oh, that life is gone. Steven weed is gone. And then weirdly though in the change of it She's watching him say all the stuff, and she's just like how the fuck did I ever date you yeah? You are so dumb

But she's also thinking like don't give them any fucking ideas that I'm faking this no like shut the fuck up I have a fucking with my position inside of this room Yeah, that was her biggest concern. And all he's just been like, I just fucking, honestly, you're the fucking endicot of my sativa and I need you back in the play, girl, because my bong is lonely. What's happening right now is just like a bummer. It's fucking not Swayze, dude. Now, by this point, even though Steven Weed had been a part of the inner circle when it came to the Hearst family search for Patty,

his many public appearances and press conferences were causing rifts, because Stephen, he kept talking shit about the Hearst family every time he went in front of a camera. Yeah, they're a bunch of no good whiteys, yeah! Yeah, I think he's a narc! Additionally, the Hearst family had never liked Steven Weed to begin with. They called him toothbrush behind his back because he was tall, skinny, and he had a big, stupid mustache that hung over his mouth. Hey, I was born without an upper lip. Think about that, Mr. Hearst!

In private, Randy called Steven Weed an intellectual boob Saying that his problem was that he couldn't stop talking to the cameras and quote. He's also an asshole Randy also said that Stephen Weed wasn't housebroken, although I don't really know what that means. I think that he legitimately was just a mess. He's gonna piss all over the place everywhere he goes. Are you the mess where he pisses in the backyard? He probably pissed his pants in front of everyone. He was real scared. Yeah, you might have.

Oh, I wonder if he pissed his pants during the robbery. No one will ever forget that, man. It's not fair, dude. I pissed myself one time. He was to make myself slick so they couldn't grip me I mean to be fair to Steven Weed like during the robbery. He did try his best Yeah, he was overpowered and they beat the fuck out of him. Because the narrative after it did sort of suck for him afterwards Because the narrative after was Steven Weed ran away. Yeah, and that was that's what everyone said. They do it in the movie too. Yeah. In the movie he goes like boing he's like road runner like out the back window.

No and that's not how it happened at all. But after the robbery the paranoia at the Hearst home damn near rivaled that of the SLA. Both Randy and Catherine Hearst began sleeping with loaded shotguns on the floor at either side of their bed. Catherine, wake up. I'm sorry. We're just gonna need to cold the valet because I shot another maid. I was having a very restless dream and she came in as I know, because you know she jerks me off so I can go back to sleep. And I blew her brains out the back of her head. It is a mess. And so we need another maid to clean it up.

Alright? Back to sleep. I'll handle it in the morning. I'm sorry to wake you. Catherine, she became so used to the idea that one night as they walked upstairs to retire for the evening, she was heard asking Randy, and this is a direct quote, Do I get the 12 gauge or the 20 gauge tonight, dear? Always give her the 20 gauge for killing squirrels. Now remember, Catherine, now, if you're going to use the 20 gauge properly,

what I want you to do here is you need to you line it against your pubic bone to hold it against and you use your big toe to pull the trigger as you wave as a distractionary measure with one of your hands. That's the way to do it. It's also how Kurt Cobain was murdered. Yes, I know everything. Proper newsman.

Catherine, she even read Blood in My Eye, the George Jackson book, because she was trying to understand the SLA. They're so mad. They are just... the anger. Meanwhile, the highest ranking members of law enforcement on both national and state levels were speaking publicly about Patty. The California Attorney General said that the FBI and the police had been too timid in their search of the SLA out of concern for Patty's safety, adding that, quote,

the moment of truth had long since passed for Patricia Hurst. Likewise, Bill Saxby, the U.S. Attorney General, he said in a press conference that Patty was not a reluctant participant in the holdup. He condemned the SLA as common criminals, and when he was asked if Patty Hearst was included in that, he said, yes, that included Patty Hearst. I also wonder, then you kind of, sometimes like, yeah, I think it's just straight up misogyny that you don't believe that a woman

can make these choices for herself. Well, there was also, but there was also no, like, fucking, there was no knowledge of what the fuck was going on with Patty Hearst at this time. Of course not, of course not, but you, so they Of course not. But I can see why they're like, Oh, we might just need to kill all these guys. Maybe. But in response to this, Randy Hurst called President Richard Nixon directly to complain.

Nixon then angrily called Saxby and chewed him out for what he publicly said about Patty Hurst. Saxby, however, stood by his common criminal statement until the day he died. And you can't call any granddaughter of a multi-billionaire a common criminal. Alright? That's an uncommon criminal. It certainly is an uncommon criminal. But regardless, the attorney general's statement heavily influenced public opinion, and the stories in the media about Patty got even more hostile. But once Patty accepted this new consensus

reality that she was now a full member of the SLA both to herself and to the world at large, her inner turmoil melted away. Her everyday life actually became easier because now she knew what she had to do. Go along to get along. And this kind of like I don't want to get too in the weeds because I read Marcus Aurelius, I like stoicism, I'm not gonna go too deep into it, but it is nice to kind of illustrate this concept where like the ease of knowing there are things I are in my control and there are things that are out of my control and Patty Hur Hearst had a very good sense of that. She's like, now this is my life, but in order for me to live, the goal still is for me to live.

I know I'm not a member of the SLA inside of my mind. No one else does. And the only way no one else is going to, the only way everybody else is going to know is if I live. And so I have to go. And we now know, and it's a mantra we talk about all the time here at LPN, like the only way out is through. Yep. And she's also, she has no idea how she's going to survive.

No. She has no idea how this is going to end, but she just knows like, if I keep living, maybe something will work out. Also, she's the only one of these motherfuckers that has the chance of having a decent lawyer. Yes Oh, yeah. Oh she knows in that way that she could always flip if she had to she knows that she could flip it She knows I just can't get shot by the police before I get a chance to flip or any of these motherfuckers that I live with Exactly, but we'll also talk in the next episode about the lawyer that she gets one of the most famous lawyers in the world that somehow Manages to fuck it up as badly as possible. You're still thinking about the monkeys

Now the SLA was jazzed as fuck about the success of the hibernia bank job But that euphoria quickly turned to paranoia when they realized that the higher Profile meant that the effort to capture them was gonna get even more intense and it was already intense to begin with The SLA's faces were everywhere which became a big problem when they started to run out of food Yes, cuz you're when they after they robbed the bank. I also find this interesting. They're not stuck Yeah, they're stuck in this safe house. They can't go and sin is a paranoia to the max and he's like no one's going out No one's doing jack shit. And they just stayed in this apartment.

I forget how many, it was like a couple of weeks. In this apartment? Yeah, where this is like after the bank robbery, they were stuck inside until literally they ran out of every morsel of what could be edible inside the house. No. Now, how did people know who they were? Pictures of them were everywhere.

The bank footage, they had? Pictures of them were everywhere there with the bank Footage they had pulled all of the the stills from the bank security camera disguised. No, no They wanted people to know who was them Well, they already knew who was in the SLA from the mark partly from the Marcus Foster murder Yeah, but also mostly it was from the safe house remember that they tried to set on fire Police directly to them. Yes, there was plenty of people like when the SLA claimed responsibility for all these crimes It was very easy for them to figure out who the fuck the SLA was and they so they had these pictures They could put out this is all who everyone is especially sin because he escaped from prison

Yes, but that's the thing is that sin was the one who went outside first His answer to getting food was astounding in its audacity and even more Astounding and the fact that it worked you just say audacity because it worked if you didn't if it didn't work It's the single dumbest fucking idea Plan can be both audacious and stupid at the same time. Hey we started a podcast network. Zinn figured that all he had to do was go door to door ring and door bells cold calling people in the black neighborhood where their safe house was located to see who was willing to help the SLA. Do you believe in your lord and savior Jesus Christ?

Yes. What he legitimately thought like this was both like, it's interesting in his confidence, but also the fact that he thought the way it worked was how it was posited within the theory that he had been around, which is this idea is that the revolution, once it starts, is going to be welcomed by everyone. Yeah. And that everyone, that when he showed up to these people's homes they were going to Applaud his actions and they were gonna be so excited and ready to flip the government Yeah, or at the very least they weren't gonna snitch

Yeah Now of course the first four or five people who answered immediately slammed their doors and sense face But he finally came upon a young black Muslim woman who was all too happy to pitch in. But when she came to the SLA safe house, she had the same question everyone had. So where are all the black people? You see, the thing is, which is true, which is Sid's answer was that, ah, totally get what you're saying.

This is the white unit. Yeah. He said this is a white unit, but they did need more black people in their white unit to help them be more black Yeah, and this woman was more than welcome to join until she was transferred to a black unit But that was only if she wasn't needed to lead another white unit because it was a possibility that was just gonna be a bunch more white people finally though Very disappointing for a group of black Muslims.

It's very very disappointing. Finally though, after this woman went back to her fellow black Muslims and talked it through, they asked Sin, Hey, we all got jobs and kids to take care of. Do you think maybe we can join the SLA part time? Yeah, I can get you a 1099 And this was deemed good enough and these people did grocery runs for the SLA for as long as the SLA Remained in the Bay Area. I still think that they were a little bit I there was some like commiseration with sin cube But I do think a lot of it was the threats he did arrive armed when he first went to these places He showed them that he had guns should they had guns all on the inside. I do believe that yes, they were

Appreciative of his politics and who he was but I also think that they were scared of him Yep, I would say column A column B Yeah Now even though the paranoia and the SLA was turned up after the bank robbery the egos grew just as large Especially after they were getting people in the neighborhood to help them out. In the movie, when Ving Rhames comes in with all the black Muslims, he's like, see here, black people.

And it's literally like what he does in the movie. Sin began promising the other members of the SLA that in the future Symbionese nation, which they all fully believed could be created by defeating the United States of America, the cities would be adorned with statues and monuments dedicated to the original members of the SLA. But at the same time, Sin constantly talked about how he would not live to see any of this come to pass. And the idea that none of them would survive this ordeal, including Patty, this began to become more than just a possibility, but a certainty.

They wanted it. Yeah. I do believe there's a suicide drive at the center of the SLA. Oh yeah. But before that came to pass, Sen decided to move once again, because he was convinced that the pigs were methodically closing in on their safe house on Golden Gate Avenue. The SLA's previous attempt at destroying a safe house had been incredibly unsuccessful. So they got a little more methodical with the destruction of evidence until a new safe

house could be found. Methodical? This is the word you're going gonna use? There is a method! Yeah, there's a method! Technically, it is methodical. It is the dumbest shit... Literally. A method is a method, my friend! Yolanda shredded all their paper material and put it in a large shopping bag labeled

Hot Stuff. This bag was set by the toilet, and when someone used the bathroom, they'd dispose of a handful of so-called hot stuff with every flush. Everything's too cute. I hate their fucking- I hate when they- Everything doesn't need a name. I hate when they do this.

Because they have three theater kids in their fucking group. I know. And it was the theater- no, it was- it was the theater kid who did the hot stuff thing. It's Yolanda. Of course. Of course. But once an outside friend located a new safe house, Sin decided on the day they departed that instead of being careful with what they abandoned,

they'd leave behind so much evidence that the FBI would become confused and bogged down and having to sift through so much shit. Which I think is hilarious because that's the FBI specialty. Yeah, they love sifting through shit. Which I think is hilarious because that's the FBI specialty. Yeah. They love sifting through shit. That's what that is. Their M.O. They are. They specifically are data hogs. They go through all levels. They love nothing more. They pile of evidence that it's just you just gave them a pile of them. but they're already like guilty. Everyone knows

Shoot him that yeah, it's not like the evidence matters at this point Anyway, no So the SLA filled the safe house bathtub with hot water and dumped their books and the rest of their papers inside Then like a bunch of children they added cooking spices condiments hair dye and food coloring That'll get them. And it was all like, oh, they'll stay in their precious cop uniform. Oh, have a little cumin. Have a little cayenne.

Now you're Mexican. Tico then suggested they add cyanide crystals, presumably the same ones they use to pack their dumb cyanide bullets. Finally, Sin announced that he would add something personal. Get this, guys. This is so funny, guys. He started pissing in the tub. It's pee-pee.

I make it straight up pee-pee for the FBI, dawg. And then Tico and Kaiju were like, I'm gonna piss too. I'm gonna piss too. Oh, Sin Q, you piss so good. And then Gabi straddled the side of the tub and she pissed in it herself. All right That's great I love a full clam Yeah And then everybody roared with laughter at the thought of the FBI having a sift through the piss infused brown slur

I will say it was you know watered down. Yeah, it was just pissed. It'd be worse Sinai. Yeah, it's pissed food coloring, hair dye, and some water. Meanwhile, they're like the FBI literally walks in and go like SLA we're here and then they leave. Getting even more excited about the idea. Tico began running around the apartment, touching everything. Then he dabbed out messages with his fingerprints. So when the FBI dusted for prints, they'd find the phrase, fuck you pigs. Finally, the leftover food and garbage was strewn about the apartment just to make things even more unpleasant for the authorities. And as a final touch, Tico wrote a message

on the bathroom wall. It said, quote, warning to the FBI, CIA, NSA, NSC, and CBS. There are few clues in the bathroom. However, you will have to wait until they are dry. An additional word of caution. Half pound of cyanide crystals have been added to this home brew. So, pig, drink at your own risk. There's so many juicy SLA clues throughout this safe house. However, remember that you're not bulletproof either. I hate Tico so fucking much. Yeah, he's the biggest shit head of them all. Oh, easily. Yeah.

How much cyanide can this guy waste? That's a lot of just cyanide just flying around. Half a pound? Now the new safe house was in a predominantly black neighborhood in San Francisco called Hunters Point and there were concerns that eight white people showing up out of nowhere was gonna draw suspicion. So every white member of the SLA with Jelena's help went full blackface for the trip to their new safe house.

Comedy changes. Okay. And we all can't be expected to uphold the morality of earlier generations. And a one and a two and a one, two, three. Well according to Patty, Tico in particular reveled in the role wearing an Afro wig. Tico strutted around the room and lowered the pitch of his voice to what Patty called a cheap imitation of Al Jolson in the jazz singer. And no, I couldn't think of a newer reference.

That's not going to do well for the new safe house. I'm going to tell you what, if you act like Al Jolson, you're going to get the shit beat out of you. Yeah. Yeah San Francisco, you're lucky. Yeah, Tico actually couldn't pull himself away from the bathroom mirror and kept suggesting that he could totally pass, quote, as a black, and even wanted to go out and mingle amongst the people to see if he could test his theory. I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna go down there and get this, get this guys, get this. I'm gonna ask for a fade at the barbershop.

Okay? And then when we're at the barbershop, I know the first thing they say has been like, okay, let me see if this is a good opening line. Um, all y'all like Whitney Houston? Does that work? Black people are gonna love me. Is it my hair so smooth? But once all the white people were given their disguises, Sin put on one of his own. He shaved his face, put on a dress with a stuffed bra, and entered their new neighborhood at Hunter's Point in full drag. I'd fuck me. Don't you laugh. I'm the hottest woman in the SLA! This was May of 1974, and Sen was convinced that the revolution was going to begin that summer.

And when I say convinced, I mean that the SLA was fully expecting a massive uprising across the entire country, a violent insurrection on par with the Bolshevik revolution of 1917 that toppled the Russian Tsar. Yeah! And of course the SLA was going to be the spark that lit that fuse. They already did it! And so, Sen began discussing guerrilla warfare tactics that the SLA could employ.

Well now we're really ramping up. Yes. This is like the rhetoric inside because they got away with the bank robbery and they are they're really like this idea that What they do is about to explode the world Yes, is it's certainty to sin and he's like this this concept of like essentially Attacking them to attacking police one-on-one in a kind of weird asymmetrical fashion was like it's super dangerous now Well, they could start by shooting down police helicopters helicopters which was not out of the realm of possibility. Yeah he said that he shot a guy. Well about a year before a group called the

August 7th guerrilla movement had used two 30 caliber automatic carbines to take down a helicopter in Oakland by shooting the pilot in the head from the ground. Jesus Christ things were crazy in the seventies. If that happened next week, it would be the biggest news story of the year. Yeah, it is completely forgotten. Yeah, we have never heard of that before right now. It's actually kind of inspiring. But if a helicopter could be taken down once, it could be taken down again.

So to begin the next phase of the SLA revolution Sin broke up their nine-person cell into three teams assigned based on each person's strengths and weaknesses But unfortunately for Patty she got stuck with the two members of the group. She hated the most Tico and Yolanda She hated Tico for obvious reasons he was an asshole, but Yolanda was just as bad. Oh, yeah, because they're married, but they weren't supposed to be married anymore, right? They were married, but they constantly insisted that they weren't married because being married was bourgeois. But you are married. Yeah, they also fought like a married couple all the time.

Because they were married. Yeah, because Tico got jealous when Yolanda slept with Sin. This made them the most irritating pair in the SLA. Yeah, because, God, yeah, because Tico's like, what does he do better than I do besides, oh God, oh God! Now do you think he also found Patty to be annoying and that's why he put her with them?

They thought that she was bourgeois and they were always, he was the asshole that was constantly Staring at Patty and being like I don't think you believe yeah He was that he was that for her so his he was always the shithead besides Zoya That was the person who resented Patty hated Patty He was just like obsessed with the fact that she shouldn't be here Well originally the team that sin that like doled out the original team was Tico Gabi and and Patti and then Tico started complaining. He's like you put the two weakest ones with me

Yeah, I don't want them And then there was this whole fucking argument about whether or not Yolanda could be in it or not and that's eventually that was the compromise Was that it would be Tico, Yolanda and Patty. They would do a thing called struggle sessions they would all get together and everybody would tell each other what they hated most about each other. There's also critique self-critique. And struggle sessions where they do that with the little game with the fingers and they moved it all around. In China that's the Maoist version of communism. It's kind of what they brought, like the concept of like,

basically it's group check to see who's the traitor in the room and see how you've done things to help the state and you're confessing your crimes to the state that then gives them a compromise against you. And it's kind of what they would do again and again and again and again. It really would have been so much better if they just group fucked. Yeah, or played werewolf.

What's werewolf? Oh, it's a game where you try to figure out who the werewolf is and it's a bunch of people sitting around It's a game that people play I've been forced to play it in multiple groups Whole movie about it and Julie's friend group they play games. We don't play games, but they play games. They play games, so I play games sometimes. Alright, sure, that's fine. Oh, and I also found out that Maoist is more rural and Marxist is more urban. We learned a lot about that, didn't we? Yes we did.

Now, as the days went on, there was less socializing between the members of the different teams, and CIN announced that they were about to commence on their biggest combat operation yet. The plan was that each night the three teams would murder police officers with heavy gunfire then quickly retreat to invade a civilian home. That home would be taken over until the next night when each team would once again return to the streets to do it all over again. And of course everybody that when they invaded your home they would welcome you in with open arms. Yes. Because you were the you're the you're the amazing inspirational renegade revolutionary group.

This and if of course they didn't welcome you with open arms, fuck them. Yeah. This unrelenting guerrilla warfare would the the SLA hoped, force police and the National Guard to invade the predominantly black neighborhood where these murders would take place. And the naked use of force would enrage people so much that they would rise up and join the SLA and the revolution would begin. And they definitely wouldn't feel resentment. No!

Definitely not you bringing the entire LAPD or the National Guard on you. Yeah, absolutely. They definitely, everybody's on your team. They all want it. And you know, this is 1974 and so this is something that's happened quite a few times across America and every time it just didn't go well. No. Now, Sen figured that San Francisco was too small and contained for these so-called search and destroy missions to be effective, so he decided that the sprawling urban landscape of Los Angeles would be a far better battleground. Kind of agree.

Yes. Yes. Specifically, he wanted to operate in the Los Angeles neighborhoods of Compton and Watts. It's going to be challenging. But before the search and destroy missions could be properly planned, authorities discovered the SLA's previous safe house. Turns out leaving food to rot was a bad idea because it attracted so many cockroaches that they were pouring into the apartment below. That was because Kajol believed that cockroaches were of the people and they should not be

killed. So they were allowed, they had a massive cockroach infestation inside of this, of every place that they stayed, they were covered in cockroaches, because they said that they were the people's book. Yeah, and that it was a bourgeois, it was a bourgeois, what do you call it, affectation to not kill a cockroach. Yeah, exterminators.

Is it wrong if I think this is the worst thing about them? That's because you were cooked. Yeah, exterminators. Is it wrong if I think this is the worst thing about them? That's because you were a cook. But soon after the cops discovered the Golden Gate safe house, they also found one of the SLA's cars. So SIN decided that it was time for them to leave San Francisco for Los Angeles immediately. They would meet in a location in LA that only the team leaders knew and with that the SLA left San Francisco Most of them would never return

Now Yolanda did most of the driving down to LA while Tico sat in the passenger seat Patty meanwhile laid down on the metal floor in the back of the van where she had easy access to a sub-machine gun Sure where she had easy access to a submachine gun. Sure. But as Patty remembered it, she was so far gone by this point that it never occurred to her to pick up the gun and kill these two people that she hated so much. And it's moments like this that make people doubt Patty's story. But really, I think the fact is that Patty Hearst, very simply, she's not a murderer. Most people aren't. And while it's very easy to say what we

would have done in her place, we can never really know what we do until we're in that position. She didn't know what was waiting for outside of this scenario. She did not know. And I know that like I do believe in her mind there's gonna be more and more of Patty Hearst because it's coming from her perspective. A lot of our information besides this things that all the other topics we use to kind of all the other sources to kind of cooperate it. But with she is trying to find a validation in words for what she did, which I actually think is extremely difficult because I think it's a weird scenario and it's very difficult difficult to articulate. She says that she was too far gone. I also think that

there is an unconscious thing of What happens in this new chaos? I just got used to this chaos Yeah, the next level of chaos could even be worse than this chaos And then if I kill these two people am I gonna what can sin come find me? Mmm can sin come get me cuz I'm gonna kill my my family isn't gonna kill a bunch of other people like you know Like all that kind of shit. It's also a moving vehicle. Yeah. It's extremely difficult. Well, they're going to have to stop to pee at least once.

Yeah. Now all three SLA teams made it to Los Angeles and the leaders had their meeting at 11 a.m. It was decided that Fahezza would go out in search of a safe house and they'd all regroup at five that evening. And sure enough, when Fahezesa returned at 5 p.m., she was ecstatic. She'd found the perfect place. It's amazing.

It was only $70 a month. There's so much room for activities. We could do all of our pushups. We could do all of our gut runs. It's just, it's amazing. There's two couches, we could jump back and forth. And there's already cockroaches. It's like we were already there.

It was the biggest shithole yet. They just, with every single safe house. It just kept getting worse and worse and worse There was no electricity in this place at all nor would there be but hey, it's in Compton Yeah, it's in Compton and best of all the landlord was a super cool black dude named Prophet Jones Who loved freedom fighters like the SLA. This is gonna work out great guys, they're gonna love us. Prophet Jones kinda sorta recognized Faheesa but couldn't quite place her, so she asked Sin for his permission to reveal their true identities. Sin said sure go ahead, but it was only after Faheesa whipped out a submachine gun that

Prophet Jones believed her. Tico also loved Prophet Jones, because after meeting him, Tico gained a great admiration for the man because the Prophet was tremendously suspicious of all white people. Would you get this? I went in there and the first thing he asked me was to hold his pocket. And we walked back and forth for a while. That was really, really fun. He fucking hates me and it's great.

It's awesome. In fact, Prophet Jones told them that they better move in at night because SLA or not, they were still a bunch of extremely unwelcome white kids in Compton. Prophet Jones also told them multiple times that they better not be cops because just a few weeks before an undercover narc had been taken out to an empty lot and Shot with his own gun. Dude, I the beginning of this I love the setup of this so they get in there in the middle of the night So from as far as I know Faheesa

Somehow however, she got connected to Prophet Jones Yeah, she explained to him. We are a black revolutionary group that is here We're the SLA and I think at the time he's like, fine, you know, we'll, we'll check you out. They moved in at night. So they're all huddled in this like a shack, like with, with running water and they're all huddled in the shack in the dark. And then it's nighttime. And then prophet Jones walks in and the way they describe me, he's in a huge, huge, scary looking man.

Patty Hearst said that he made Singh Q look like a child. Wow. Right? And so he walks in the room and he's eyeballing all of these people and I think at this time period, it's the first time he's seeing that it's all white people. Yeah.

And one black man. And he is, he's just like like what are you doing to me? Like he's just like what the living fuck is going on here? Like you can't even be in the neighborhood and you guys are like this is not even about it so like you guys all could just be from Berkeley and you'd all be getting murdered like you're gonna fuck me up essentially. Yeah he asked like his first question is again, where are the black people? And see, again, this is the Scandinavian outreach program, Prophet. This is the whole thing, we're getting guys in from Norway, we're getting guys up and down from Canada.

And Prophet Jones, he knew all about the SLA, the first thing, and then the second thing he asked was like, so why the fuck did you kill Marcus Foster? That was really fucking stupid. And then he sidestepped the white people question and told Prophet Jones that they'd killed Foster because he was an undercover CIA agent. At that point, Jones just, he just fucking shook his head. He left and on his way out, he kind of just gave him a sarcastic like, good fucking luck. Enjoy. If he's not a member of the CIA. No, it's fine. God damn it. He's not. He's a prophet. We all know that.

Now, as far as, you know, like finding a good place for the SLA to hide in Los Angeles, Fahiza could not have picked a worse location. This particular area of Compton had a heavy police presence, with helicopters hovering above every night and police cars constantly patrolling the roads outside the house. Neighborhood folk were also stopping, staring, and pointing at the safe house because word had obviously gotten around that there was a nest of white people living inside. Because think about this, you got like a shack filled with boo radleys.

And you threw them through like, they're all looking through the slots, because they're theater kids. We all look through the curtains at the audience. You're just going to be like, they're going to love us. Do you think that one would play handball with me? Do you think that guy would be like,

you think maybe we could all play dominoes together. They're all blasts in the Glenn Miller orchestra. I like to sing. I like to moon and june and spring. I like to sing. As such, after Zoya and Yolanda went out to the grocery store one time, no one went outside after that. We got a lot of attention outside. For one time, no one went outside after that.

Pretty soon, the SLA was reduced to eating a slimy cold mixture of canned spinach and okra flavored with bits of canned mackerel. Revolutionary casserole. Completely cut off from the outside world in a house without electricity, the SLA began sinking into a strange group psychosis. While listening to the battery operated radio for news about themselves, Sin started hearing messages in song lyrics that he believed foretold the coming revolution. This song's making me say I'm a walrus.

I'm not a walrus. Patty just as lost in the sauce as the rest of them, she didn't doubt Sin's interpretations for a second, but figured that she just wasn't knowledgeable enough to understand what Sin was talking about. That's an important note for anybody dealing with an unrepentant crazy person. Just being like, bro you get something I don't understand. I'm with you man. And this was after less than a week of them being trapped in this house together. Finally though, the SLA entered its final cult form. One night, Sin gathered everyone together for a meeting and as

they sat around a candle, Sin announced that he was a prophet sent to earth to lead the people, implying... No, that's the landlord. He implied that he was descended from God. Did not say outright. Honestly, I hate to do this. I don't want to blow up his spot, but I'm God's second cousin. It's big for me. It isn't like when I call him Uncle Yahweh. Now Patty wasn't at her level best mentally but she was cognizant enough to think that sin was obviously having some sort of breakdown but the rest of the SLA sat in awe following and believing every word of their leader. In other words, when the top guys start saying he's God, the end is near. Oh, yeah.

It's like every single episode of Top Chef or any competition show when they start talking about how they miss home. Yeah. You know, they're about to go home. Now, after a week in Los Angeles, Sin decided that it was time to start the revolution with the aforementioned search and destroy missions where they would kill cops night after night until the National Guard was sent in. Now while we're good and rested and our brains are nice and tight.

Everyone's got enough mackerel? Good, excellent, let's kill some cops. But before that could happen, the SLA needed heavy clothing for protection. But in the very first step towards the revolution, shit immediately went wrong and the whole thing fell apart because Tico is a fucking moron. I wish somebody told me Tico was the moron. See Tico and Yolanda were the least recognizable members of the SLA because they were just average ass white people, and neither one had been on the inside team during the bank robbery.

But since Patty was part of their team, she went with them on a shopping trip to Englewood despite being the most recognizable member of the SLA. They just didn't even care anymore. They had lost the plot in that way. But either way, all three were on a mission to buy combat gear from a store called Mel's Sporting Goods. Now Patty stayed behind in the van, but after Tico and Yolanda had been in the store for a good long while, Patty looked out the window to see what she could see. There, just outside the store, she saw Tico on the ground, struggling fiercely as several

men had him pinned to the ground. Can't detain me, I will not be detained. Don't tase me bro. Yolanda meanwhile was being held by another man and was trying to kick herself free. Both of them were looking directly at Patty, waiting for her to take action. And since Patty had been training for a moment just like this, day after day, for a month and a half, living and breathing every word these idiots said, the training took over. See in situations like this, an SLA member was supposed to fire above their comrade's

head to startle whoever was detaining them so they'd have a chance to run away. So, without a second thought, Patty grabbed Tico's submachine gun, shoved it out the window and aimed it above Tico and Yolanda's head. She then pulled the trigger and fired. The gun, however, had heavy recoil and it jumped out of her hands with the first pull of the trigger. But after steadying herself, she kept the finger pressed on the trigger until the entire clip of 30 shots had been fired. She then reached for her own weapon and got three more shots off before she realized Tico and Yolanda were running towards the van while everyone else ran for their lives.

Tico got behind the driver's seat with the handcuff dangling from one wrist and as he screeched out of the parking lot all he could do was ask Patty what the fuck took you so long. She fucking saved his ass. Well he's a bitch. He's an asshole. Yes. Once they were on the road Patty had a second to think about what happened and she couldn't believe that she just rescued the two people in the SLA that she hated the most. We talked a lot about this, because this is one of those. Again, this is a big contention point. It's the biggest contention point, really. It's the biggest one. But, you see, we brought it before.

She had a lot of quote-unquote training. It was a lot of bad training, right? So they had a lot of... She had poor trigger discipline. She was bad at what she was supposed to do. And they were like, this is all nonsense anyway, that she was fed by sin. So I understand because like in her mind, she blames the training, right? She says the training is what happened. She said that the only answer she could find is that she acted instinctively because she'd been drilled and trained to do what she did for months.

And by the time that they'd finished with her, she was a true soldier in the Symbionese liberation army. That's what she did for months and by the time that they'd finished with her she was a true soldier in the Symbionese Liberation Army. That's what she wrote in her book. But I think there is a subtler answer too which kind of came about before as well, which is she did not know what her actions of killing them would lead to. She because she's still in this horrible safe house with SYNQ and all of these people. Like she's stuck in this place. They're going like now obviously they're splitting up into teams but she still doesn't know where the hell she's going to end up. Well at this very moment she very well could

have just sat there and done nothing. She could have but she didn't know. Yeah but if she sat there and did nothing, Tico and Yolanda would have been arrested and then once the cops came she could Just open up the door and say hey Patty Hearst here Theoretically theoretically that's the thing and that's what everybody always says But I think Henry you brought up a good point the other day is that she didn't know what would happen like What if Tico and Yolanda got loose and got back to the van? Yeah, what the fuck are they gonna do to me? Yeah, she's gonna they're gonna probably they'll probably kill her I guess either they hate her the most yes

They hate her the most and that's also like it was kind of a weird security measure from sinq where you put the two people They had her the most with her because they were watching her extremely closely And I just I think that it just what do you do afterwards and again? She's not a murderer No, yeah, not a murdering. She didn't know if the cops were just going to blow her away. That was her biggest fear is that she had been drilled. That was her biggest fear at that moment is that, as I said earlier, she was not, she now believed herself to be a member of the SLA after listening to the news reports. She believes that the rest of the world believes that she's a member of

the SLA and they did pretty much, pretty much. And it's been drilled into her head by sin and the rest of them that if the cops see you, the F if the cops or the FBI, if any of them see you, they will mow you down on site without giving you a single fucking warning. So that's how she survives. Yeah. And she, you know, we, we all are in agreement that she was a victim in this case, but what she did in that moment is definitely a crime. Yeah. No, it's definitely a crime. Yeah. She committed a crime to stay alive. Yeah. As it turned out though, Tico

and Yolanda had not been detained because they'd been recognized as members of the SLA. Instead, they'd been stopped because Tico had shoplifted. Yeah. and he was he was obsessed with shoplifting apparently and they robbed the bank Yeah, he's more on but yeah, he's a moron in the great lead-up to the revolution Tico had risked everything Because he wanted another little bandolier to hold his bullets It was so small that he stuffed it up his fucking sleeve But then also he had hardcore This is some hardcore sporting goods fucking employees because they fucking wrestled him to the ground. Well one of the guys was a junior policeman, he

was in police academy. So he was uh yeah he was ready for it. And back in the day sporting goods stores were gun stores. Yeah they had guns. Yeah yeah. But even then they probably wouldn't have been identified as SLA if not for Yolanda. In the scuffle, she'd lost her revolver, which was registered in her real name, Emily Harris. That meant that as soon as the registration on that gun was checked, there would be no doubt that the SLA was now in Los Angeles. Now before Tico's team could do anything else, they needed to ditch their van. So after carjacking a Pontiac that died after they drove it for just two blocks, Tico spotted a small blue station wagon that was being loaded up with a lawnmower by a Mexican family. From what Patty said, Tico approached this family and said

that he and his two companions were with the Symbionese Liberation Army and needed their car. They weren't stealing it of course, the family would get the car back, but the SLA needed it and they needed it now. This isn't an IOU, that's as good as money. That's a blue station wagon, you're gonna want to hold on to that. And after the owner no doubt eyed both the submachine gun Tico was holding and the handcuffs still dangling from his wrist, he said, whatever you need take the car buddy yeah and so while driving away in this poor family's car Tico's mood lightened as he talked about how

Chicanos were just great because like black people I mean they share whatever they have with you if they think you really need it and this further proved that minorities truly did believe in the mission of the Symbionese Liberation Army. And every day I look in that mirror and I know I'm a shade browner. I know I am. Even though the debacle at Mel's Sporting Goods was a massive fuck up that was entirely Tico's fault, he decided to look on the bright side. He talked about how well they had operated as a team,

how good their training had been and how wise Senq had been in planning this whole thing from the start. He's like a shitty like schedule supervisor manager. You know what I mean? He's like a middle manager talking about this. It's like, we're really digging in here and I'm loving our turnarounds. I'm loving our numbers. But unbeknownst to them, their fuck up was even larger than they realized. See, when they abandoned the van under the orders of General Tico, Patty was instructed to remove

only the essentials, basically the guns and ammo. One of the things she'd left behind was one of the gun carrying cases. This case contained a parking ticket that had been issued just a block from the SLA safe house in Compton and that parking ticket would allow police to greatly narrow their search for the SLA in Los Angeles. Is there a house around here filled with white people? Yeah. It's over there. You can hear it from here. Tick tock through the window. I didn't know. All they do is play novelty songs and eat mayonnaise.

You can hear it off in the distance. Dr. Demento. That's them. That's them. That's always them. By this point, Tico's team was acting a bit manic. Convinced that they should switch cars again, they carjacked a Ford Econoline van and took the teenage owner hostage for an entire night, driving around Los Angeles looking for a hardware

store that was still open so they could buy a hacksaw to cut the handcuff off Tico's wrist. After spending a night with the teenage hostage who apparently had a grand old time during his adventure with the SLA. Honestly, as a teenager, I probably would have tipped. He was like, when are we going to go kill some pigs? He was really excited. He was actually super into it until like the next day he was like, okay, I'm ready to go home now. But until then he was like, so like what's next bros? Like, is awesome. Yeah, we gotta do this all the time.

My schedule is clear. Yeah, dude. High school sucks. Can we kill my teachers? Actually, I think he did say, he's like, I do have a baseball game tomorrow, but until then I'm yours. Yeah. Well, they ditched him and commandeered a Ford LTD driven by a middle-aged businessman. He was nowhere near as excited about being kidnapped as the teenager. Do you guys like TPS reports? Can you guys actually drop me by the sweet greens pre-order to sell it on the app and I got to pick it up. So in order to lay low, they've now stolen four cars. Like I said, it's manic at this point, but while they were driving around, Tico turned

on the radio and heard his entire idiotic story from Mel sporting goods told again and again where he was identified as a shoplifter trying to steal a pair of sweat socks. Indignant Bill wine quote, it was a bandolier and I didn't steal it He was so mad that they said he stole sweat socks Because the bandoliers cool Cool Cool the Tico was able to pass along a message at a dead drop, but the cops were probably coming for the SLA they had five dead drops around Inglewood and

Compton. So when the authorities surrounded the safe house at West 84th, it was completely empty. He managed to get the message to the rest of the SLA. And feeling quite proud of himself as he listened to the announcement on the radio that the SLA raid had been a bust, Tico decided that his team should lay low for a few days. Just chill out. Yolanda suggested that they blend in with the tourists at Disneyland. bust, Tico decided that his team should lay low for a few days. Just chill out. Yolanda suggested that they blend in with the tourists at Disneyland. So after dumping their hostage and getting a new car, car number five, this one they

actually bought for $300. All right. Tico's team drove out to Anaheim. Yeah, of course America, the only place where they put a mouse above a revolution. That is from the movie. That's because there's a great big beautiful tomorrow. Don't do this. But once they arrived in Anaheim, they heard on the radio that the police were surrounding yet another suspected SLA safe house and were preparing a full assault.

Tico again laughed said the pigs are gonna come up empty again. This of course was not the case. When team Tico finally got into their motel room and turned on the TV they saw a live broadcast coming from outside a white stucco house. The journalist on air kept repeating that the SLA were trapped inside and had refused the police's demand to come out and surrender. Within minutes the shootout began and the camera caught the fiery blast of a shotgun coming from one of the front windows. The shooter was without a doubt

Willie Wolf aka Kaju. And that's where we'll pick back up for our conclusion to our series on Patty Hearst. What a cliffhanger. I hope they're gonna be okay. There's no way they're not gonna be okay. I think we're gonna make it. Poor Willie Wolf. Guys, there's only 70 or 80 cops outside. I think if we show the cops how powerful the revolution is, they'll join us. They're all dead. Everyone go out, check out our Patreon,

patreon.com slash last podcast on the left where you can see video versions of every single episode Go follow us on tik tok and Instagram at LP on the left check out all of our streams at twitch.tv Slash LP and TV to watch them live. Otherwise watch them after the fact on our YouTube channel Yeah, and go to last podcast on the left comm to see all the shows we got coming up Washington DC We're gonna be all up in your shit. Coming next week. I'm fucking the Washington Monument. Yeah man, I'm coming to have sex with Jill Biden.

Yeah. I want to meet her, I want to seduce her. I want to get in there, I want to take her out to a nice meal. I'm coming to DC and I have a special surprise for people who come to the DC show. That's great. Don't get us in I have a special surprise for people who come to the DC show. That's great Don't get us in trouble special surprise

And we're also going to be coming to London and Reykjavik in Iceland in September October October October and of course don't forget about our Australia shows which are coming up very quickly in August. We're gonna be there before you know it so get your tickets now shows which are coming up very quickly in August we're gonna be there before you know it so get your tickets now please also we are gonna have an announcement via social media this is for all of our Australian listeners that have bought tickets to these shows we had said to all of them three years it's been four years here's fuck me on this been four years so we are still sick we're coming we're coming we're coming one way or another

we're coming we bought tickets we're coming So but I want you to know is that we do owe you a special whiz wuzzle Stream and we are going to have an announcement about that for ticket holders to the Australian tour We're going to have an announcement for that very very soon There's gonna be a form we're gonna fill out because we are scheduling this live stream that we're gonna do before we come To see you in person and we'll do like you'll see It'll be fun, but you got half a ticket to the Australian tour Yes, also our Chicago show sold out very excited for that But Henry and I are gonna do side stories the night before on September 13th at the Park West. So come check that out

I'm check it out. It's a very different show less prepared. Yes very much Check that out. Check it out, it's a very different show. Less prepared. Yes, very much so. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun, we're gonna make it up. So thank you guys and hail, sweet Satan. Oh, and hail, Geen.

And also, don't forget, No Dogs in Space, the Cannes series has begun and we will return after the holiday with part two. Yes, and listen to the brighter side and hail Amber Nelson because today is her birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Amber. Only getting younger. That's fine.

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