Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Christmas Movie Stories

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

Christmas is here! And there's no better time to roll up a hog's leg and enjoy a nice movie... so this week Henry & Eddie are joined by Santa's favorite degenerate elf Jackie Zebrowski to discuss the best and worst Christmas movies of all time... Happy Holidays from everyone at LPN! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes and get exclusive access to bonus content.

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Side stories. Yes. No, what a wonderful Christmas day. Dingle bells, dingle bells, dingle all the way. I got a dick and it dingles and it pees out its front. Hey, dingle bells, dingle bells. I pee on my balls Last year I had shingle bells everybody you did that you already did that joke at me. I Constantly every holiday you like constantly every holiday Christmas humor, Ed. It's a good one I you know when I know where it originated it'll never be as good as where is it originated is one time on Christmas

I called my aunt Patty and she's like I have shingles So now I was like, oh you mean shingle bells and then she got really mad and hung up the phone I bet I'd also hang up the phone. It's a that proof that it was a great joke. You're right because That's the audience that needed to receive it. Hell yeah It's a that proof that it was a great joke. You're right because Rib the person that's got the shingles. Oh, if she can't take a joke, how is she gonna handle the rest of the shingles? You really got to smile your way through it welcome to side stories talking about smiling side Stars my name is a brass'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing?

And then I have a little bitch on a little bitch on the shelf comes to snitch. That's right. Jackie Zabrowski, I don't touch the bitch on the shelf's panties. I know it doesn't matter, but the bitch on the shelf says you do, and you don't get no fucking toys, fat boy. Can't stop the bitch on the shelf.

Yeah, bro. Can't stop the bitch on the shelf. I'll hold my honesty on my own. I'll hold my true story. Your blood pressure's high. Yeah, it is. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Long week.

So our Halloween movie show, our horror movie show, people really liked it. People did enjoy it. So we figured as a Christmas gift to the audience, we would come back and talk about Christmas movies with Jackie. Me, I love a good Christmas movie. I am fine with them. Yeah? Now we're talking about Christmas movies with Jackie and I mean I love a good Christmas movie I am

fine with them yeah I know we're talking about Christmas movies I'm glad we are because it it's Christmas Day this is the last day in which which I am happy I believe I've received enough Christmas I started celebrating Christmas with the rest of society as I was forced to on December 1st I have gone and seen several trees I saw the big tree I went to 30 Rock I was forced to on December 1st. I have gone and seen several trees. I saw the big tree I went to 30 Rock. I went down to fuck it. I saw them. I went to two malls I saw we went to the gay men's choir, which was amazing and special Yes, and so what's awesome is that the second we press stop on this recording?

I get to be finally out of Christmas Wow But I am you're hosting Christmas. I do Christmas Eve. It's different Christmas Eve is nice Yeah, it is nice Christmas Eve doesn't Jesus ain't here yet. That's what's nice about Christmas Did he show up on Christmas Day? Yeah in the morning? That's when he flops out of her fucking big raggedy ass pussy I invited some people to your house on Christmas Eve. Oh, yeah, who's coming? Some people? I'm not gonna be there though. So if you can just entertain them and feed them, I'd appreciate it. Maybe that guy, what's his name? The guy I've been watching on Instagram, uncle Ron uncle Ron's is Ron per tee. That's not who you're thinking of. No, there's a guy that I believe in watching.

It's a highly inappropriate. He's also called uncle Ron. He's called like uncle Roy. Oh yeah. He's very upsetting. Jackie, I want to find this before we start talking about this guy over here. I think that he's a, yeah, he's a fucking problem. No, he's definitely like my father's potential favorite comedian, but he doesn't mean he's a good man. Oh yeah. No, it's uncle. Yeah. Uncle Ron. Oh, it is uncle. It is uncle Ron. He's had some really controversial stuff and he likes to piss his own pants. He's my Christmas and spirit animal. Is he a postman? You know, speaking of Christmas, I don't think he has a job. I used to have, when I worked at the village poor house in

the East village, I remember we used to have like big Christmas parties all the time. And they'd be like, that was when you make a lot of money. Those times that time. Yeah. And then I remember American airlines came in and they were like, we're going to have a big party in the back and we charge this shit out of it. We jack that shit up Give me that fucking stupid comfort seating But what happened was we jacked it up to an obscene amount of money They agreed to pay it but you know remember how the postman used to always get drunk at our wonderful stumbled in the back and pissed and shit his pants in the middle

Scrooge and I was thinking about this man I'm so sad that we missed out on big drunk corporate parties where everybody made I've been to a bunch of them, but yeah, those days are over. I want them! But just understand, the problem with those parties is that like, let's say there's 60 people there. 20 people are having the best night of their life. 20 of the people are just, it's fine, it's where they want to get the hell out of there.

And 20 of the people experience life-shattering trauma that ends their career and ends their lives. Holiday is all about a crapshoot. You never know what's going to come up. But I want my ass on the copy machine. Yes, Jackie, you can do that at home. Yeah, we'll get you a copy machine. Can you find me one please? They still have them somewhere, right?

Oh yeah, or a scanner at least. Now this is one of the questions I have that I had prepped for today and this is a perfect way to go into it. I know we were eventually going to get to what we think are the worst Christmas movies ever. Oh yeah, I have that I had prepped for today and this is a perfect way to go into it I know we were gonna we're eventually gonna get to what we think are the worst Christmas movies ever. No. Yeah, I have mine Yeah, but before we get into that since we're talking about Scrooge's I wanted to get your opinion because I know we both we all love Scrooge I think Scrooge is probably top five one of my top ten movies or you go. We can keep one But the Christmas Carol because they're basically the same

plot. They are. You know, break down. So fuck all the other Scrooge movies and like, you know, all that stuff. Can't we just burn the books of Charles Dickens instead? Charles Calkins, please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

According to Uncle Rod. So, I mean, I mean, what's, I mean, what is like to me, I feel like I used to love Scrooge more, but as time goes by, Muppet Christmas Carol is irreplaceable. I mean what's I mean what is like to me? I feel like I used to love Scrooge more But as time goes by Muppet Christmas Carol is irreplaceable Muppet Christmas Carol is objectively a better film Then Scrooge better acted well I just in terms of the cross that I'd say in terms of the accuracy to the material the way the materials Presented how much fun I'm having when I'm watching it. I love singing the song looking their little Muppet feet

I love my bits and I think that it is a better film But I think that it's kind of the opposite for me as I get older Scrooge does evil but Scrooge I'd learn more from you think so like the ending monologue for Scrooge which Even though it's hard because Bill Murray was I guess famously a piece of shit Yeah, I'm most sets apparently yeah He was a fortune even though he's my comedy hero one of my comedy heroes, and I'm faint if I met him He's one of those people that he you know he technically took that entire set Hostage, and he did whatever he wanted with it, but that ending speech that he gives is so heartfelt

Yeah, and so like it felt like Bill Murray talking to himself Yeah, right. It felt like a man a hard man Talking to himself in in the only way he can which is through character on camera Yeah, and and convincing himself that Christmas is good and him and Karen Allen together that Christmas is good. And him and Karen Allen together is electric. But what about 15 years later and they're just starting making out. It is very, I think it is, now I'm watching it, it is a little bit creepy that it's all of a sudden, it's like he is against every fiber of your being.

It's never going to work. But I have a question for you guys. We talk about this on page seven every year. How do you feel about the fact that on Disney Plus, and also I believe the DVDs, they took out in Muppet Christmas Carol, they took out The Love Is Gone, but you can watch it in the extended version, like the theatrical version on Disney Plus,

but it's not the original thing that you click on. So they take out what I call is the full crumb of the movie. They take out The Love Song because they're like, kids don't like it. It's boring. It doesn't cast well. But it's such an amazing song and it's also very important to the story. Because it makes you understand what happened to Scrooge.

So I dare say that I would choose Scrooge if we're talking about Muppet Christmas Carol without When Love is Gone. But with When Love is Gone, I feel that Muppet Christmas Carol is, it hurts me to say it, but it's a better movie. The lab's gone, the sweetest dream that we have ever known. I know also Scrooge has Jeffrey Joseph. Yes, he's our buddy.

Which is very important. And I can text him each time or comment on Instagram that I just saw you in the film. And it never fails that I watch it legitimately every year and it always makes me laugh. It really does. It's filled with jokes. Richard Donner, who would have thought? So good! But again, it's all Bill Murray and then the other and the characters, it was the- Will Kane.

It's just an incredibly cast film. It's just so good. It's so well cast. Bobcat Goldthwait, which didn't you think about Bobcat Goldthwait, how he made an entire superstar level career with just having a funny voice. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's the dream. It just doesn't happen anymore. But he made it like a dream that you thought you could get. Do you remember he had an entire summer blockbuster film of him talking to a horse? Oh, Hot to Trial. Yeah. John Candy played the horse. It was a huge movie. Yeah. But his Bigfoot movie, actually, I don't think was that bad. Oh, I enjoyed it.

Willow Creek was good. It's fun. It's not like, it is definitely one of those that's like, it's more in your brain than of what you're seeing. So it's not like, I think a lot of people thought it was boring, but I thought it was fun. God bless America is pretty crazy. I like God bless America, but it's also kind of, it's interesting.

It also doesn't, I don't know if it holds up. It doesn't's crazy. I like God plus America, but it's also kind of it's interesting It also doesn't I don't know it doesn't hold up as much but also is like more poignant than ever at the same time I love Bill Bob could go with Wade as a director Willow Creek I thought was kind of weak only just because bigfoot I don't find scary. I also you're right bigfoot is not scary I want to do it knowing nothing about it I think that's why I enjoyed it because I didn't know absolutely anything So, you know, sometimes you got to throw one of those on But Bobcat Goldwyn is a very good director and but that's the kind of the with the rest of the cast father of the year

They're all God father of the year still holds up a watch a couple years ago. I was just like man So funny So funny that's like and I think I was like one of the last roles that he was all the way there for to I believe Well, that was the one where oh, no, it's not father of the year. What's it world's greatest? Yeah father of the year is David's babe, yeah very different Yeah, world's great world's greatest dad is the one where he has to deal with his son It's so interesting but in the movie called Man of the Year and Father's Day

Yes, so you can see where we get confused. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of movies out there But one thing we wanted to talk about today I think I think most important in this world of negativity We wanted to talk about what we consider to be the worst the worst of them the worst Christmas movie because everybody talks about the best ones I And we will why I personally I Understand I'm against I have an unpopular opinion if I dislike all of the old Maude Lynn Christmas movies. I don't know what you're talking. I hate miracle on 34th Street. I don't like meet me in st. Louis. I don't White Christmas. I don't like any of those

You know what it is. They're good for the daytime not nighttime. Yeah, how do I say? They're all movies made by horrible abusive Drunks, it was always a Wizard of Oz Exactly, but it was good. I mean the Wizard of Oz is good there You know what it is is they inspire a an emotional response in me that I don't like It's a wonderful life also does it like those are the type of things that it's like that's not what I like from Christmas I hate sad

Christmas you ain't said anything. I feel like anytime you feel precipitation on your face. You just go. I hope I'm sweating Yeah, Jackie and I live in the sad world Well Jackie likes to cry I don't like crime and it's but it's not for me It's just I just don't like that work out and tears are the same solution as sweat you're correct I'm right cuz it's your body crying you damn right But I think that the worst Christmas movie of all time as far as I'm concerned is Christmas with the cranks Wow As far as I'm concerned is Christmas with the Cranks Wow and Christmas with the Cranks the reason why I am Can't stand that movie is that it is unfortunately Tim Allen at the end of his powers Jamie Lee Curtis back. He's got his power. Curtis is kind of fun in it I don't think he's fine five percent on Rotten Tomatoes if you like these kind of shit Christmas movies it is perfect for that I feel like

Not though do you understand what the message for that movie is the very center of that movie is don't you even try to be different? It's literally about don't try to be different do the same thing that you've always done Do what we do don't do what other people want you to do That's what this movies are it's all about Conforming and coming home to a family that you don't want to go to, and then you've got to go and be a part of this ritual that you don't want to necessarily be in.

And everybody's pressuring you and screaming at you about how you're ruining everything because you don't want to do it. And everybody's a fucking busy body in the movie. And I don't like the message of the movie. It makes me angry. All right. All right.

Wow. All right. Yes, that's the thing. It's literally the message of the. It's not even just the movie. I'm the message of the movie. It makes me angry. All right Yes, that's the thing is literally the message of the it's not even just the movie I'm not talking about the casting Dan Aykroyd's in it. I love him. Yeah, there's a couple other funny little It's been a lot of shitty movies Oh, yeah, he just needs some money and now that he's you know, and he's got he's cheating so he's spending for two. Yeah Did accurate got divorced? Yes after like 40 years of marriage man men are down Broke that Campbell's back. I tell you what Dan Aykroyd. He's got sick of turning it down. Yeah, that's what it was

This just happened look at how thick his neck is it's what everybody they're separating so maybe they work it out Legally married well, they're estranged which is almost worse than divorced. He says he's going he always goes to visit his wife Donna's magnificent home Boys down at the Blues brother man. I do love the roids. Um, that's my celebration right there, man. The freedom of Dan Aykroyd. He needs to be free dude. We need to get him out there, man. We go. Do you think it had anything to do with his obsession of the occult and aliens? And maybe it's a look into your future. Yeah. You have been saying this for years. They were married for 39 years. He got thirsty.

He met some horny ass fucking probably some lady with no bra on from Southern California or Sedona, Arizona. They wanted to tell them all about crystals and stuff. And he's like, Oh, you mean crystals I can buy? And she's like, no. And she shows her, her, her hard nipples. Yeah. Is that what happened? I hope so for his sake. Oh, yeah Yeah, how you still out there fucking what's that game like TV fucking glue popsicle sticks to their penis Jackie what is TV fucking glue popsicle sticks to their penis Jackie. What is Your worst Christmas film really depends on what we're talking about when it comes to worst and what the criteria What are you talking?

My for my specific criteria it is I'm gonna say any Christmas movie that adds Christ into it. And that is a lot of them. That's a thing. Christ shouldn't be in the season. You know, I- We're past Christ, we're post Christ. It's over it, like already born, like we already did it, like who gives a shit? It is about buying presents and it's about eating

a bunch of fish on Christmas Eve. So last year we did watch the movie Saving Christmas, which is the Kirk Cameron joint. Oh no. Whoa, I mean come on. Of course. This might be the word, you might win this round. It is, it really is,

cause you think like, oh, it's gonna be so bad that like it's kind of fun to watch, but it's not. And there's also, I think most movies that have a, oh God, I can't think of the word right now. What is it called when everybody stops and starts singing and dancing in the middle of the street? And I hate-

It's a musical. No, no, no, no, no, no, there's a flash mob. Flash mob. Flash mobs, oh my god, I hate flash mobs. I hate flash mobs so much. You almost forgot they existed. I hate flash mobs. I hate flash mobs.

God, I hate flash mobs. I love a musical. I hate a fucking flash mob and well I just learned the term diegetic and non diegetic Which is like if? Movements happen within the world of a film or happen outside of the world of the film and that whether or not if you people there's Like a conversation about musicals being diegetic or non diegetic like are the songs in a musical Natural to the environment of the musical like are they reality or are they separate from reality? Is it a moment of commentary upon the musical or is the musical within itself? text or text

Yes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then you know Yes, yeah No, and then you know Jettick versus on Jen If you look at this it says we pop it if we can read it alright Diagetic sounds that belong in the world of the film so this is a diagetic sound is stuff like you know when they do the Thing we hear a song playing at the top of a movie and you see somebody driving And then they shut off the song in the car or the radio. That's called diegetic sound because that sound is within the world of the movie. Non-diegetic is stuff like narrative voiceovers,

stuff that is outside of the screen sources. Okay, that's very interesting. Well, we all learned something today. Yes. And I appreciate that. Fly from your grave. Now, something that, one movie I dare say that goes up against Saving Christmas for me is a movie I've actually seen multiple times. And every time I watch it, I get more and more enraged.

And that is the movie Jack Frost. And that is starring, and I'm not talking about the horror movie, I'm talking about the Michael Keaton one. It's bad. And it is. It's on my list as well. I will stare at Kelly Preston do almost anything just because I like the look of her rest in peace But Jack from yeah, you look at her corpse. Oh, yeah, man. I'm looking at that. Yeah, man Yeah, she died winking at me winking at me. Oh, yeah, judge will to sundyed

Years ago she was like right after like very close to the sundy. She died of cancer too. Wow. 2020. Holy shit. RIP. RIP, very sad. In it. Tell them we got a Scientology clean.

Oh, it's like they pressed her in the ground. Hey, baby, jingle bells, come on. It's been four years, I can make the joke. No, you can't, it's fine. It's okay now, enough time has passed. I think what makes me the most angry is that Michael Keaton in the movie is in this like Kind of like a blues traveler kind of band For him maybe sure because I love I love Michael Keaton. It's why I've seen this movie six or seven times

I've never seen it. Don't I'm not going Watch the other Jack Frost the horror movie the horror movie and at least then that's with He looks good as it with the guitar in his hands. That's for sure. Oh don't get I'm Shannon Elizabeth's in that one, right? Yeah, yes. Yeah This movie made me so Yeah, Shannon Elizabeth. She was just around. Yeah, she's still doing stuff You know what? She was in recently the remake of night of the demons She played Angela professional poker player really? Whoa, no, that's cool

She just got so but I don't even like Blow on the chips I blow on the dice I'd sit there and blow on the chips. Okay. I'd blow on the dice. Copy, I'd get a little cocktail dress on. Come on, Shannon and Elizabeth, you got two first names. Come on. You know who says here according to Jack Frost, did you know Jackie?

Three of Frank Zappa's four children are in it. Do we- Which one? Do we- Do we- Ahmet? And Moon Unit. The Moon Unit.

Man, whenever they did Celebrity Jeopardy, I would get so mad because they would never take it seriously Unit done. Oh, he's just Wow just wrote a memoir earth to moon So as we were just looking up Jack Frost I forgot also specifically about the Santa Claus three, which stars and, and this pains me to say a couple of years ago. Sure. As a woman.

Yeah. As like winter as Jack Frost. Yeah. Moon unit Zappa is a woman. Sure. I'm not going to answer that question. I have no idea. It says it's a woman.

It says an American actress singer in all. I don't trust Google could be incorrect. That's that's great. Looks like a woman. It's just an American actress singer in all. I don't trust Google could be Incorrect that's a that's great. Looks like a woman. Yep. I'll call it a woman. That's all Sorry, I just slid down a moon unit zappa. Whoa, don't tell your wife It's just with my brain. I also do like I am the kind of person though that really enjoys like a hallmark. I like a shitty Christmas movie. Would you love Christmas? I like a bad Christmas movie as well. I'll watch a bad Christmas movie.

The Lindsay Lohan movie that came out last year where she gets amnesia. That was a lot of fun. The one that came out this year. This year not good. Garbage. And it also was starring mr. fitz from pretty little eyes what is the name of this it's called falling for Christmas that was last year's this year's is our little secret and our

little secret it was fun I enjoyed it it was fun I like shitty Christmas movies yes but save your time with our little I do like how everyone's rooting for Lindsay Lohan though She looks great. She looks great killing it. She's got her act together. I'm all about it. She like Doesn't she with some guy that's sort of like human trafficker out of Greece right isn't she own? I want her to have a good life. She with Angie Tate? Is that what's happening? She's just like out there, I believe that she's with some gangster. I am definitely rooting for her.

Yeah, sure. She abandoned the Mykonos Beach Club. Yeah, she was in the Mykonos Beach Club. Oh yeah, she abandoned them. They needed her. What's the Mykon's Beach Club. Oh, yeah, she abandoned them. They needed her What's the Meekin Oh's Beach Club? She had a reality television show where she was Ostensibly Whitewashing her life living in Greece now. She's got a Meekin Oh's Beach Club and she had like an accent for a while That was interesting. I think that that's just getting I feel like more people truly

Need to ease up on gaining an accent while on vacation Yeah, because you're just trying to ingratiate yourself with the locals Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, she's obviously not for making us But same time when in me canos you gotta assimilate huh now Eddie I know you also dislike shitty Christmas movies But did you happen to check out the dr. Seuss The Grinch musical live? No, I would never. That was wonderful. I dare say it is might be just because it's so bad. Like a Broadway or?

It was on live television. Oh! But it's a special. Yes! I forgot about this Jackie! I Yes! And I actually would love it if you check because I think it's on Hulu, you can still watch it on Hulu. Who's playing the Grinch?

Is that Tilted Swin? No, it's, oh god what's his fucking name? It is horrible! Matthew Morrison! Matthew Morrison! The lead, the uncharismatic lead teacher man from Glee! He tries to make the Grinch like horny? No, he's not horny like horny no very very

uncomfortable Specifically not horny. This is the thing but he does all of this like a dancing movement like he's trying to be Seductive yeah, why is he being? And I don't like the person a person is the dog Yeah, and that's which you have to have a person as a dog a person a dog can't sing I would like that I'd rather have a dog on stage of course and then all right for I mean one of my favorite Christmas carols Is the dogs everybody jingle bells but the key of dogs we're in the dark

hey hey hey growl out alright so my can I watch it this now we're just gonna say something here I'm watching this musical playing this is why musicals are dead and over it's because of this moment of grinch dancing with this dog on live television that they put a lot of money in a lot of money A lot of money went into making this a thing because this was live. Yeah when it was done Do you think they beat him when this was over? I hope they did. Have we heard of Matthew Morrison ever since?

He looks like a moron. This is the worst shit I have he's the worst fucking garbage look at this What is this he's just kind of trying that he's being sexy he's doing the same moves as Madonna from like a virgin Just close your legs. You're the Grinch I don't want to see your Grinch taint. Yeah No genitals, yeah, it's it's just all of it. He's really just I don't want to see your Grinch taint. Yeah Genitals yeah, it's and it's just all of it He's really just I'm gonna say not good in it Thank you, but it is kind of fun because it's not that long

So if you're looking for something to have on in the background to just like Zone in on every couple of minutes being like what the fuck is happening throw it on Yeah, what's your worst Christmas movie Eddie because you have have a hard time. You are, of all the people I know, in people who watch as many films as you do, you have a truly accepting nature. Well, I'm always just impressed that they finished making a movie. That's what I talk about with them. Whenever we watch something that's extremely bad, the thing that we always remind ourselves, like as we're watching stuff, it's like, you know, they made a movie. Yeah. what are we doing? Right? What are we doing right now? We're sitting watching something that they went and put the time and effort in to make and yes

It was wasted time wasted effort wasted money, but they did it. They have a project at the end They got it done So I was drawn I was drawn between two and one of them is a series of films that I can't stand But before we get into that I must say spirited fucking sucks spirited is Exif like the only to really describe it is that it's so corporate I love Sunita and I wanted the best love Sunita love Happy to see her but like that movie fucking blow. Yeah, you know what it is is that it's the problem I've noticed this like I was talking about this with my mom recently of there's no we

There are they're having a hard time Creating like another Christmas classic film Well, the thing is they used to come out like once every three years We did a Christmas movie when we were younger now There's like ten a year and we're also and we're supposed to like all of them and then the story never changes I'm fucking sick of it Spirited was dog shit. It was forced. It was rushed It seemed like it was like slop the set design was sloppy

It was a whole thing. I haven't seen in the Apple movie. I like by the way also Can we can I say this because we just saw we saw the the LA Gay Men's Choir It was fantastic and they sang the first it was candy focused this Christmas Yes, right the first half was from Willy Wonka the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory They they sang those songs and those songs are so fun and they're so emotional and emotive and evocative Yeah, like and then the second half they decided to sing three songs from the new songs But you it felt like nine songs. It did it what is with modern? Musicals if you get a chance to see the gay men's chorus of Los Angeles usually

They're amazing. They do like three big shows a year. It's wonderful, but I like was so surprised at like We are better at ever than we should be better at ever than any and everything Yeah, but it's so funny when they're like we can't write a good musical anymore It feels like it feels like that type of thing where you are, you know, I wasn't into Hamilton I'm not into Lin Manuel blah blah blah. I'm into that guy. I'm not into like this this that style of musical either It's just weird to go see a musical that has no I was like there's three songs here Were you I couldn't tell you what the chorus was. Yeah, like not to be anything I can't tell I'm like and I'm feeling like an old man being here being like, am I wrong that this

song has no chorus or bridge? Yeah. It has nothing. I'm not walking away humming it. I have no idea what's going on. Like at the end of the fucking, the original Willy Wonka movie, you know every song, even though you've only heard it once in the movie. Yeah.

You're walking out singing the song. Oh man, pure imagination is of gorgeous song. Wonderful song. Gorgeous fucking song. And it's like Wicked, Wicked's not for me though, but you like Wicked. Did you see Wicked? You liked it.

I enjoyed it very much. But no one told us it was a part one. Yes, it is very upsetting. That is rude. It's very, very upsetting. That is fucking rude. It's between that and also the amount of movies that pretend like they're not a musical

and then you go and see it and they're a musical. I just saw Amelia Perez and that happened to me. I didn't know, I saw the preview. the amount of movies that pretend like they're not a musical and then you go and see it and they're a Amelia Perez and that happened to me. I didn't know I saw the preview It wasn't I didn't know it was a musical and I went and it was fucking awful Don't I left and I went so I carry lie during the trailer I feel like it's a don't bury the lead bro. Like people want to know what they're gonna go see Yeah, I couldn't handle it. No, cuz no one would go because people hate musicals. Because they can't write good musicals anymore. They don't know what they're doing with them. I don't know why.

Just hire pop singers to write the songs. This movie's going to win all the Oscars this year apparently. And I just like, I can't, I can't hate it more. I couldn't get through 30 minutes. This thing's a fucking musical. I was in a theater, I was in a theater of eight people and six of them were laughing about how bad it was. Why don't they hide it?

Like even though I dislike them, I'm actually really confused as to why like, why isn't Ed Sheeran, who is one of my least favorite artists in the world, but he can write a catchy ass song, why is he not writing all of the songs for a musical? He just doomed us. I'm just saying. He would write, but unfortunately as much as I hate all of his songs, they're getting right in my head. I know half of his songs for some reason because I've heard them on the radio. Where's that guy Groban? What's he doing? Josh Groban. He's just a singer though. He's not a writer.

Yeah he's a new tech. Shit. Matthew Morrison also. Who's only in two other things since The Grinch. So this is what I wanted to say is the thing about Christmas movies And they I don't hold these as Christmas movies because obviously there's a lot more going on But I feel like they're jammed down my throat every Christmas and I never liked them. I can't like them. I've tried several times Fuck these Harry Potter movies. Oh Sick of it. It's like this is not a Christmas movie It's not a Christmas for a little while in the middle of the movie and then everyone's calling them Christmas movies Just because people buy down my throat. Yeah, all every Christmas is Harry Potter and I fucking he's a piece of shit

No, I that is just one of those things that they, that's all marketing. It's just marketing. I'm down, they also push Lord of the Rings, which I'm kind of down for because I like something that takes like an entire day. But it's not a Christmas movie. Yeah, it's not, but yeah. You know what it is? It's a Time Off from Work movie.

Yeah. And I feel like that, I wonder if there are like, because that to me, that's different. And I feel like those are you settle in right? Like I love a time off from work movie. Those are the that's when I sit and watch Napoleon That's when I sit and watch something long and and difficult But also the Harry Potter movies dropped dirt like they were all released during Christmas time So I feel like a lot of people created the traditions around Watching them and then rewatching them before the next

one would drop. Like I think that that is why it's more like a tradition that people created for themselves. Also, you know what happened to me with Harry Potter? When the first movie came out, I'm working at a restaurant called Garfield's. It's basically Fridays. It was in the Tallahassee mall. I remember Garfield's. And Harry Potter, the first Harry Potter movie came out in the mall. The movie theater was

across the hall from Garfield's in the mall on black Friday. And I was, it was one of the worst days of my whole fucking life. And then we were at like a two hour wait. And so people started getting the idea to order to go fields closed. Thank God they were awful. And but yeah, but people got the idea to start ordering to-go food. And so like the tickets just started coming in and people were just eating to-go food in the middle of the fucking mall and throwing it on the ground and shit. It was a fucking disaster. So I, I think that's where my hatred for Harry Potter comes from.

But it's, yeah, cause of the trauma of that day. But I understand that day but I oh yeah I understand that go but I do like a butter beer sure I like butter beer with bourbon in it oh well yeah well you gotta have to buy the bourbon separate in it and then when the bartenders not looking you pour it in there yeah because they're not allowed to serve you a spiked butter beer but it's much better that way much better that way much better that way I actually I'm kind of I'm neutral on the on the Harry Potter thing

Just because I do know that I don't know. I just fucking I don't even think about them I don't think about them during Christmas time now. I'm trying to re-herald within my own life gremlins Might be the best one I Left it just because I kind of feel like as a child I overwatched it I watched it so many times and so I hadn't seen it probably in a couple like literally a decade or so funny And then I sat and watched it probably like two or three weeks ago That I really think that it's it might be one of my favorite Christmas movies

And I know that it's like very stereotypical of me, but also I mean it's unbelievable Yeah, the movie itself is fantastic. The characters are amazing. Well, that's the thing and how do you feel about movies that are technically Christmas movies? Because that's why when I was talking about like the criteria earlier that like I've started peppering in Edward Scissorhands in my List right now because it's such a good movie But then is it still like I feel like some people like it's not Christmasy enough to be a Christmas Way more Christmas Like what's this book I could it's on the list Batman Returns also lethal weapon fucking awesome

I'm a little weapon but the The one of them that I always go to that I just want to give a shout out to and I love and I feel like the world shunned this movie and no one talks about it ever. Trapped in Paradise. God I love that movie! I haven't thought of Trapped in Paradise in so long. I showed it to Jeff last year and I love Trapped in Paradise.

It is so funny. I gotta re-see this. I love trapped in paradise. It is so funny. I gotta re-see this. Dana Carvey is the kleptomania. I love this movie. I love it. John Lovitz. Everyone is killing it in this movie. It's such a good movie. Can I ask though, upon re-watch, because you re-watch it closer than I watch it, do they

not steal the dynamic of the Home Alone thieves? No. No, we're not getting hurt. No. We're not getting beat up on. We just re-watched Home Alone and Home Alone 2. And it is kind of funny, because Home Alone, you forget why. It's obviously a classic film.

John Candy, I forget, is the sneaker, like the best part of the whole movie, weirdly. But then, like, Home Alone 2, upon watching it, I remember loving it as a kid and then rewatching it as an adult just recently. I was like, oh, the first 45 minutes of the movie is the exact same as Home Alone 1, except it goes to New York. And the first 45 minutes of the movie is the exact same as Home Alone 1 except he goes to New York And in the last 45 minutes as well. I was trying to look up the length

Yes, it does the fighting and but it's like the same though. Yeah, it's the same. It's just the same planks. Yes Trapped same plot same pranks. Yeah trapped in paradise I will say it is an hour and 51 minutes and it does feel it That's the thing is that it needed and that it will be, it's forever, the let down is that it's longer than you remember. So it's one of those, but it's the mid 90s. You know what, I feel like it always added

way more trying to have real moments. And it's like, we didn't need it. I literally just wanna watch Nick Cage, Dana Carvey and John Lovitz be them. That's all I wanted. And the mom is Lovitz be them. Yeah, that's all So fucking funny great. So I what is that woman's name? Cuz she has you know, you know what you're saying It's so hilarious too because I was just looking this up for some reason I wanted to see dumb and dumber was almost two hours long and there was no reason for them

Even though it's fantastic. It's just the things that are bad and Even though Dumb and Dumber is fantastic, it's just the things that are bad in Dumb and Dumber are all the genuine moments. Well, actually I'm wrong about Dumb and Dumber because I do love the, I'm sick of being a fucking nobody. Like when he does that weird emotional monologue. It can still be done well. That thing was like, you remember that? Like he does that weird out of nowhere where he's just like hyper emotional and real in the apartment before they go on the road trip. But that's the thing. And I feel like dumb and dumber is in that same place with trapped in paradise in the same place as like a my blue heaven. When I feel like a classic, but

I'm saying we watched it because it was on TV all the time. Like I feel like I watched the first hour of dumb and dumber a hundred million times. We would just catch 20 minutes of a movie back in the day, because it was just randomly on TV. You'd see the middle of a movie three million times, just because that's what happened. Exactly. I always found it so sad that Dana Carvey never really

got his movie star ascension, that he never really got the project that took off of the, like really took off. He just had, besides Wayne's world But man, you really did it's good, but it's Wayne's world. He's good. Yeah and master of disguise you forgot Speaking of trapped in paradise, the ref is very similar. You guys, when's the last time you all seen the ref? I haven't seen the ref in a long time. Yeah. It's very, it's around the same time period. Dennis Leary, she takes it's very, it's got a lot of similar themes like someone like kidnaps a family kind of on Christmas and it's bad guys learning to be good

like through the love of Christmas. The world really was captivated by Dennis Leary for a period of time. And then he just kind of went, he was on that rescue me show for like fucking 10 years. I had no idea how long that show was on. Dude, they had like a compound in New York. I auditioned for that show once

and they had like a full floor of a giant building. Yeah, it was wild. You know what movie always makes me think of you Eddie at Christmas time? That's the movie Mixed Nuts. One of my favorites. Suicide Hotline Christmas movie in Los Angeles. I think Madeline Kahn's last movie I believe. I just remember watching this just drunk in the middle of the day when we used to live together Yeah, just like that nuts again

You watched mix nuts a lot Movies that like 13 I love you with all my heart, but if you rewatch it, I've watched it every year almost Alright, well, I'm glad you like it. What's the last time you've seen it the last time I remember seeing a chunk of it I was just like, oh wow, some of this doesn't age well. It's upsetting But also I mean Julie Haggerty I love Julie Haggerty shety. She's the female lead in that movie. She's from Airplane. And, yes.

She's wonderful. But yeah, I mean, the cast is perfect. It's one of Adam Sandler's first movies. Wow, wow, that's actually very interesting. Juliette Lewis, yes. Rita Willis. Liam Neeson plays a trans person trying to deal with Christmas.

It's one of the first movies to deal with this subject. I do think it's interesting. I think it's interesting I think the subject matter is very interesting. I think it was during a weird period Steve Martin's career It was yeah, I was making choices You know which I appreciated about him because he always made that he made a bunch of weird choices back of the day before We started making all the movies with that. What was that thing where he had like the 19 kids? Cheaper by the cheese Where he kind of fucking gave up a little bit?

You know what I just rewatched what I know this is kind of a hard right, but it's pretty fucking great Have you ever seen rare exports? I never actually saw it a lot of hanging dong You will really like rare exports, you know, I met the director when they were promoting the movie. He came into Poorhouse, Village Poorhouse. He came in and he's like, do you mind if we put the poster up? And I was like, go for it, bud.

You know, I want to put it up. Yeah, take it a little my way up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it was playing at the movie theater across the street. It is fun. It is a wonderful movie. 89%? Yeah, yeah.

It's one of the better horror, Christmas horror movies, movies I think it has 76 more percent than mixed nuts yes is that what we're trying to talk about I would say fucking bullshit I would say it is that much more of a better no way I will die on this hill because it is hard for me to get up the hill It was just on The last drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs. He just did a whole section on rare exports. Yeah fucking great. I'll check that out It's truly truly a I'm gonna watch it tonight. Actually, it's probably top five Horror Christmas horrors that black Christmas the I mean, well now Terrifier 3 is taking the rain Thank you terrify your three

I want to say thank you again for taking up the cause of adding to the Christmas horror movie lexicon That is what you we need this yeah, we needed you yep, and also I just saw you floated past a diehard Oh my god die hard-hard to my our mother beloved mother She was like all the best movie. I've seen this year. You've gotta see it red one You've got a she really wanted to we wanted we rented it and we put it on and literally you rented it It's a Netflix movie. I don't know what we I don't know what it was on on I just clicked on I just wanted to pay for a Netflix movie. I legitimately just wanted my mom To be engaged with something

There I put it on and as we're sitting and watching it Natalie leans over to me and she's like Is this what prison is like? Is to be forced to do this is this like watching television Common room in a jail at least in this prison you get a juiced up JK Simmons You know I don't want to watch the movie But at least you know JK Simmons has got abs and he's taken all kinds of human growth hormones JK Simmons dude calm the fuck down man. You don't need to be this ripped.

It's bad for you at this age. It's extremely bad. You're gonna die much earlier. He was old in Oz. You're gonna die much earlier because of this. He's definitely juiced. That's not Natty, dude. Look at his arms.

That is not fucking natural. you need to watch yourself, buddy It's not about you got to be careful your hearts gonna fucking explode, but it was like what I am proud of them What happened to Christmas action movies? I thought that was really funny at the top of Scrooge you forget like we try to watch it We ended up like oh we back out to make dinner And we shut off read one very quickly like 25 minutes in yeah, and then it was like a sitting thing I was like oh red one is literally what the beginning of Scrooge just making fun of yes exactly It's making fun of it and now we're watching movie now. It's real, and it's bad

It's extremely bad, but then you think about diehard which is a great example of this awesome You know like now it's obviously kind of me me everyone's talking about it all the time in terms of like It's just a great movie. It just happens to take place at Christmas, which is you want I just want more of it I want more of that I think what was nice about diehard about the Christmas thing is that the it's not a Christmas film But the Christmas part of it adds this emotional weight of course You know that makes it so fucking that much more. That's much heavier for him speaking of emotional weight of course you know that makes it so fucking that much more that's much heavier for him speaking of emotional weight when was I have been getting bigger I'm glad it is an intervention I got a corset for when was

the last time you watched the movie Prancer I have been I would say like a decade ago I haven't watched it's pretty bad I was a kid, but I remember specifically being traumatized by this movie. I saw it in the theater Don't you shoot a ladies prize reindeer in the head or whatever something? But I I didn't know if I should go back and watch it. I I apparently have answers lost very sad I mean, there's lots of sad stuff like molested or something. No We had reindeer recently Sure might be the best meat I'm sure I love an hour It's a reindeer and it pranced out of me into shit. I bet man. Oh, sometimes it goes down greasy comes out greasier but

apparently Cloris Leachman is in Prancer and I love Cloris Leachman. I mean she's you know people take work you know like Prancer is work. I know Sam Elliott's in it too. Yeah yeah yeah these are you know I mean I remember loving Prancer when I was a kid crying and then seeing it again like ten years ago and it was like dog shit. Oh yeah he does get sold to a butcher Why it's so traumatizing the living fuck This my favorite Christmas movie? You know what I mean? What the living fuck of a... Oh God.

Ape pagodas in it. Understated masterpiece. I love the ape pagoda. It's a magical reindeer. How the living fuck is it held by the rules of man? Chop it up and eat it. Chop it up and eat it for Christmas. Honestly, it would have been cute

if they fucking chopped it up, made it into a bus of sausages and then they ate it and they all started floating. Oh, that would be cute. And then Santa comes and rigs up those fucking cannibals If they fucking chopped it up made it into a bus of sausages and then they ate it and they all started floating Then Santa comes and rigs up those fucking cannibals up to a fucking sled and he makes them people pull the fuck Reindeer's are free for the fucking can I rapid-fire some movies at you to close out the show All right, Santa's sleigh. We ever seen it with Goldberg replace Santa and just goes around killing people Really bad, but it's

Yeah, actually can you put that at the top of this Rob there's a disclaimer on the top of this video about Santa's sleigh that just I wanted to read here real quick that just said the term Happened of the like what is it? Oh, hi. I'm Scott And I'm glad you like the Goldberg videos I upload to the legend as I've received recently diagnosed with cancer Which is why I may have the YouTube channel as a tribute to Goldberg to help turn me up I put most of my time uploading videos are applying to all you great amazing supporters if you could spare any nominations It would be very much appreciated Thank you. If not, no worries. I hope you enjoy the channel I will continue upload videos daily on the road to recovery. Thanks, Scott

If you could spare any donations, it would be much appreciated. How many years ago is this two years ago? All right, let's find out if he's alive. No, I don't want to get I don't want to do yeah I don't want to spoil it. Yeah, I don't know what this guy does. Oh, he's still got the Me and my father No discrimination. What are you talking at? What just keep it up those Goldberg videos, buddy. You never know what's gonna come Yeah, I think I think that's great But I like the practical puppets, yeah, I like that a lot of's not that great. It's not as good as I remember it. It should be better. But I like the practical puppets. I like that a lot of it outside of the gingerbread man,

I like that it's practical and that does keep me coming back to it. I also like seeing it in theaters. I remember when we saw it in theaters, it was awesome. I enjoyed it. Yeah, Hot Frosty, did you see it yet, Jackie? I did. Was it good?

Well, it was, it really depends on how you feel about the whole idea of like a baby child Adult and if you want to fuck that and I guess like that really it's like it's like kind of Exactly, but it is a snowman turned into a human being It's a snowman turned into a human being that Lacey Shabair tries to fuck and because she just lost her husband and she's a widow. And it's like the hot guy from Schitt's Creek. We should show this. We should watch this as a group.

It's a brand new movie. I even dare say- You called him the hot guy from Schitt's Creek? He's just got- He's one of the- Oh, is that the guy with the beard? He's the veterinarian. Yeah, but he's just got- he's got way more shredded recently.

Yes. He wasn't like that on Schitt's Creek. He's very attractive. If you're supposed to be hot frosty I think you're supposed to look like that unfortunately for some people But it is it's how you depend on like I also really enjoyed poor things But I know a lot of people are like baby lady you fuck a baby lady. It was a great movie Yeah, it's a great movie correct, so that's why I enjoy hot frosty

But I understand that some people were very upset about it Why cuz he's a frost because he's an idiot. He's a baby man. No, he's a fucking snowman Listen if he had Down syndrome and be different If he frosty cuz how offensive would that have been if a snowman turned into a Down syndrome adult How bad would everybody be dead and then she tries to fuck them the man everybody be super angry Oh, don't be fun as a movie. That's just like a flashlight that comes to life for this Question about myself my wants my needs it should remain a flashlight then as someone that is a self-described Monster-fucker I was upset because I didn't realize that the snowman turned into a human being

I thought she was going to fuck a snowman and that's what I wanted to walk. They're not ready Jackie I want to watch it. All right Eastern promises very good It takes place during Christmas I mean a naked fight on Christmas Watch this on Christmas Easter promises has a bunch of Christmas Yeah, I fucking love Remember the naked fight. That's all I remember about I mean the whole movie is great. It starts off with a brutal murder

All right, we're moving a family stone. I know you love it. Jackie might be my favorite No, I'm just not into sad I don't like sad I don't like to feel sad I'm already sad All right people go both ways on this movie love actually, you know, I think It more than anything else. I think I have decided that I finally, officially, truly, very much hate love, actually. I just found out Kiara Knightley, 17 in the movie. Whoa! In real life, she's 17.

I did not know that. And she did not want to do the cue card scene. She thought that it was very uncomfortable. And she's a 17-year-old. And so apparently, they had to shoot it multiple times because she was so visibly upset while she was doing it She couldn't act her way through it Though sometimes I mean, I guess that's what happens, but she was a child

Child and she's supposed to be like married in and every it's just all it is weird I like to watch Liam Mason cry, of course and also Emma Thompson cry. I love to watch Liam Neeson cry. Of course, and also Emma Thompson cry. I love to watch anybody be sad on Christmas. I want to go to his house and make him cry. I'm sure he's crying on Christmas. I'm sure he is. Now he's back banging out. He's banging out Pamela Anderson.

Yeah, dude. No makeup Pam Anderson banging Liam Neeson? Yeah, dude. He is writing that fucking cheese that ding-dong, man. Because they're meant to make a gun remake together. Oh my god. Madly in love with Pamela Anderson. Yes, god, that's a happy ending.

Oh, I love this. Isn't it great? Isn't that the best connection? Yes, it is. And it just shows you that anything's possible as long as you're almost seven feet tall, rich, famous movie star. And got a great That's all you need to do is be Irish. That's all and so yeah

Yeah, holdovers wonderful film really enjoyed it I like that movie is really good, and I gotta say if we forgot one Perfect Christmas film I feel like it's a good one to close out with it's a little film called how to ruin the holidays and good one to close out with. It's a little film called How to Ruin the Holidays and apparently How to Ruin the Holidays is a new Christmas classic is to watch the film is the best way to ruin the holiday. Oh, I know I haven't I love you Henry but I haven't also watched it yet. Yeah, both are ignorant of my work. Haven't watched it yet. I went to the theater, I saw it. Yeah, I went, I booed, it was great. Thank you.

But I did feel that it was, it was a pretty good film. It was. It was a pretty good film, it was fine. You're like Robert De Niro in Cape Fear, like that's what I. Bah, bah, that's my friend. Bah, bah, that's my friend. Yeah, yeah, well that was the last movie I was in so. There you go.

Hope you guys go go rent that huh? Can you just go rent How to Ruin the Holidays? Because that'll really help the dividends, not for me, I don't make any money off of it but. But Colin Mochrie needs it, come on guys. I don't think he makes money off of it. I liked seeing him in a big role. He's great too and also he's extremely nice, he's a great guy.

You're the bad boy neighbor, you're the M.M. at Walsh of Christmas with the crank. I am. Yeah. Yeah, I'm the mean Yep, I'm gonna be neighbor. That's what they hired me there. Sometimes just being yourself It goes a long way. It really does and then you have to shoot like across the like in a different like house Because you had kovat. No, I I had I found out I had COVID on set. This was many years, 2021, the first time I had had COVID and I did not know that I was sick. I took a rapid test and a the long the big test. Remember?

Oh yeah. And then I test I tested positive negative on the rapid test. I shot a day but then I started not feeling very good. And then it wasn't until the next day that it turned out I tested positive for kovat, but I didn't give it to anybody else man. I was wearing those dog cones When I did the L word I didn't realize I had Kovat and I just wasn't feeling good But wasn't testing positive and they tested me twice on set and I wasn't testing positive and then turns out I found out

Later on gave a bunch of people Sorry, please you gave them something for Christmas Come on, thank you so much Merry Christmas happy holidays We love you guys, thank you for listening to this show I hope you're having a great time and when you're at home with your family remember you don't have to be nice all the time You really don't and honestly sometimes those fuckers kind of got to go do their own thing and you let them go do their own thing but you know you're not responsible for everybody's activities during the holiday.

Yes amen. And it's going to be over soon. It takes some personal time and forget remember to take a walk and smoke some weed. Take a drink in the garage. Load the gun. Clean your guns. Go and smoke some weed. Yep. Take a drink in the garage Well, we got clean your guns go and clean your guns And if you're looking for any last minute Christmas gifts and you live in the Atlanta area last podcast on the left is gonna be doing A show with the Coca-Cola Roxy in January 11th

We got shows in Dallas Toronto Detroit and Nashville next year both we're gonna book some more soon, but more importantly Watch good put my Show on the network. Thank you. Yeah Good, it's unbelievable spend time watching good put really freak out the squares with this show. It's a wonderful thing. Hell. Yeah Good work Eddie. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Love you all don't let the new year hit you in the ass, huh? Yeah, man jerk off

Yep Take mommy out of the room. All right, do you patreon? Let's buy some less time