Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Devil at the Doorstep

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's strangest stories and true-crime news - but first, the boys mourn the loss of yet another beloved creator who brought joy to the world - Norbert the Dog: Dead at 15..., AND THEN - a Canadian Ice Cream Truck stand-off in Kelowna, British Columbia, another "U-Egg-P" leak hits 4Chan, Ring doorbell captures the Devil on Texas family's doorstep, Florida Wedding attendee sparks a buffet brawl, and much, much MORE! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 There's no place to escape to this is the last Side stories, yes Can I can I do something this is something I've always wanted to do and you want to start you want to start like this I want to start like this something. I always wanted to do we have live shows to plug We do we do we have live show you always just move past and the audience appreciates it, but me I Want to plug the fuck jobs you're allowed to but I normally Dallas I wanna plug the fucking shows. You're allowed to, but I normally don't. Dallas, December 22nd, last podcast on the left.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Bring your Catholics, we're gonna spank them. And then. I'd actually prefer if you left them on. March 14th. Unless they're buying tickets. Ryman Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee. It's gonna be a big show. Coming in, it's gonna be huge.
Starting point is 00:01:01 It's the former Grand Ole Opry. We're in it, we're doing our show. Former. It was a be huge. It's the former Grand Ole Opry. We're in it. We're doing our show. It was a Confederate church. It was. It was. And we're turning it back into one. That's right. We get to go into a Confederate church and yell, Hail Satan, back and forth. You, the people at home listening to this, Henry Marcus and I, we're gonna yell, Hail
Starting point is 00:01:21 Satan, at each other in a former Confederate church. Please come join there and then of course side stories huntsville. We're whole you know my favorite city Oh those NASA fuck you can't keep me out of Huntsville fucking space nerd piece Hey, you know I want to see you god damn UFOs your uap's you and a to me What oh fuck NASA I will tell you the truth though Eddie is that due to some of their budget cuts. They already got fucked no Well fuck you again. Yes, seriously Maybe we do like we do like you. I'm just gonna be on the list We'll put you on the list. We'll take care of you will hang out because we like NASA
Starting point is 00:02:02 Gmo.com. Well, yeah, hey Perfect. Honestly, that was great Eddie. we do need to plug more up top. Yes We do know what once we stay at the end of the show people are like oh, they're done They turn it off and never hear the plugs and then they're like when you come in to Dallas you're like I was just there Because they don't sit there and they don't listen but Ed guess what they're gonna ask anyway. Yes I know that's okay. Yeah, I them to, I want them to know. But come see us live, it's a lot of fun. The show's better than ever.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Please do, come see us live. But before that, you're listening to Side Stories. And I am Henry Zabrowski, I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Hi! And thank you, seriously, fervent enthusiasm is the style option of that sales pitch, and I'm proud of that, I'm proud of our energy. I want you to-
Starting point is 00:02:46 I'll take it down a notch now. No, you did a good job. I also want you- Henry, I'm so sad. No, I can't have this. This is worse. I'd rather the rage. My pillow is soaked with tears.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I'm gonna beat you to your happy again. Oh, please beat me. I'm gonna beat you. I mean, I know now you're coming. Now you're just gonna start coming. Please. But first of all, that's one rollback. Second rollback, we wanna say thank you to the nice emails. I received from Lindsey shookers
Starting point is 00:03:11 My Buddy Saturday live addiction Obviously, she said that it was edited around her Bola. She's a lovely lady Some of you made your feelings known about her you made your feelings known about her, her, the impression she gave on the Saturday Night Live documentary on her personal social media accounts. Yes. She says, thank you. Please leave me alone.
Starting point is 00:03:33 The notes were received. Yes. She says, thank you. Yes. But she is honestly, she sent a lovely email and she specifically said one of the nicest things I have heard, which she says, Lauren told this to everybody and drilled it into her Heads all these years anybody that stepped foot on 8h For that audition is funny and that that's like it doesn't really matter like nothing. That's that is they never asked me no
Starting point is 00:03:59 And it shows and really really fucking shows, so I want to say thank you And really really fucking shows. So I want to say thank you live shows And Eddie you did a very good job, thank you for supporting me last week Friend and I love you as well. Yeah, and I want to just say for the record if I ever go after anyone I don't like going after people but what if I ever do he does let me do it You know, like you don't need you to do it to people Please do not attack people on our behalf. We're doing it ourselves on the show I was of course they themselves are bad. Yes, right cuz I feel like that's the thing Is good door? Yeah engagement is good. Well on our Instagram not on her Instagram
Starting point is 00:04:40 Hey, I got a compliment out of it. Yeah, you did get a compliment. I'll take it. So thank you guys Another update. Oh, yeah, we got a big one. Can we play the funeral dirge? Can we would you mind you're playing? Can we hold for a second while we get this clip coming last week? I just got to stop. I just got to stop talking about these things. Yeah, all right because I just gotta stop talking about these things. Yeah. All right, because Dirg the funeral dirge because last week we brought up Is this a funeral dirge that's awesome, yeah, this is a requiem for Katrina is that the hurricane Well, yeah, I mean they're all musicians down there when they have what they're pain in some way but starting with like a much
Starting point is 00:05:29 Yeah, well, they love to celebrate, you know, they their funerals are great Maybe your buddy could have a New Orleans funeral Norbert the tiny dog is dead dead Now I brought it up last week Talking about my issues with social media dogs and their representation in the media. Norbert the little dog, as I said, was one of the only things that held my precious psyche together in some of the hardest moments of my life. So as of Monday of last week, they had posted a little thing. Norbert the dog, little tiny dog, little tongue sticking out of its mouth, beady eyes. Yeah. Can't think. No brain. Right? his mouth beady eyes. Yeah, can't think no brain, right?
Starting point is 00:06:07 My favorite kind of dog. Oh the best petrified stupid cute How I hope to be when I'm old And so Norbert the dog was listed as safe from coming out of the he went to the hospital and they said his All of his signs are looking well and maybe his kidney markers were slightly up But they said he was doing really well and they posted a bunch of videos of him eating in the hospital and look Oh look Norbert's back to his old self 12 hours later. He's dead. Yes fucking dead dead dead dead dead Dead and I don't hospitals. They're not the best always well the thing about them
Starting point is 00:06:44 You would like to think a star like Norbert would get proper care You would but it seems that they get the same health care as us whatever you could afford You got to see his last meal. I am So angry as a fan. That's pretty cool, but I know I need new I need new rules He's Dom DeLuise's last meal. Well, that would be incredible I saw James Gandolfini's last meal and that will always inspire me. But beloved famous dog Norbert passes away. I do believe it was death by hanging.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Yeah. Doing a autoerotic asphyxiation which is super sad that Norbert couldn't find love that he couldn't buy. You know what? I'm going to like the post. Yeah. Yes please do. But I now have rules. Okay? I have unfollow the post. Yeah, I just please do it, but I now have rules
Starting point is 00:07:25 Okay, I've unfollowed the other dogs. Whoa. Yeah, I'm out of the game. Come on, dude Deserve love no Norbert's dead. No, cuz they're temporary let you down. Yes, Norbert was 15 Norbert 100 years old. I want rules in place. Okay us Fucking stupid ass center-left liberals, right? We love regulations except of course when it comes down to air quality because we're all fucking experts out here Yeah, but we So these guys but I want some regulations on social media pets and this is it all right
Starting point is 00:08:04 This is what I want number one you either live forever in perpetuity Serving the ghost of that animal as if it is alive forever so that animal you know there's like 10 Benji's yes You know if Norbert the dog is there I want you to pretend that norbert the dog is fine Yeah, that's what they did with flipper. I don't want the reality. That's not while I'm following Norbert I'm following norbert to have my soul uplifted, but okay Yes in this cruel very stark memorial post that they made, the 2009 to 2025 Tombstone Memorial that they put in.
Starting point is 00:08:48 No, what's beautiful about this, Eddie? There's no, he's not amongst his friends, he's not on the other side of the rainbow bridge. His friends are these two human hands holding him up. But dude, that Norbert is in hell right now. Like that picture. Dog dogs go to heaven, Henry. Not Norbert.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Norbert, what, you think Norbert what the hell? He helped people when they needed them most. He was failed! I look at Norbert and I see the eyes of a thing that has been compromised and I look at him and I know I see this memorial tombstone 2009 to 2025 underneath them they didn't even try to shoo it up. There's no harps, there's no clouds. There's no angels There's nothing what there's no other stories. There's no Jimmy Carter
Starting point is 00:09:32 Happily opening his lap. There's a rubber on that Norbert story. That's another fan post Oh, that's not from the official Instagram. So that's my rule one. My rule one is either Where's your Norbert post? Mine wouldn't cause I did so much for you. The second Norbert is dead. The second I don't have to give the humans that are making money off of Norbert soul that money anymore. All right. Unless you didn't give them any money. I didn't, but my time, which is worth money. And then I, if you look at this, right so it was a rule one is either and I so It's one or the other it is either it lives in perpetuity
Starting point is 00:10:09 We do not address the mortality of the animal we were attracted to tiny shaking dying dog Live no no and then rule two is if not the day Norbert is dead their needs and must be the next post and here's nippers Norbert, yeah, but there needs to be brand-new dog new talent on
Starting point is 00:10:41 The roster just change the name of the account everything. Done! Or Norbert the dog, RIP parentheses, slowly but surely, Nippers is filling a lot of the content out obviously, because Nippers is the new dog, you will slowly ingratiate Nippers to the audience. Hopefully if you've done your research correctly, Nippers is pretty close to the OG one, And then nippers can go and be, have a tongue sliding out. Just the fact that it's like, because look at it right next to it. Well, Norbert obviously, they don't talk about why his tongue's sliding out. He's got no teeth.
Starting point is 00:11:19 He had rotten teeth and had to get his teeth removed. Yes. That happens to a lot of small dogs. That happens to a lot of small dogs. That's so cute. It is adorable! Yes it is extremely adorable and technically you could get the same effect by very expertly removing several teeth. If you want to clunk around with your tongue, you'll flop it out of your mouth.
Starting point is 00:11:36 You just got to get rid of some of these side rail teeth. That's going to be the new zoomer trend. Yeah that dumb shit. Yeah bleps. Yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, bleps. Yeah, yeah, kids doing toothless bleps. Nothing would make me hick. That would be cuter. Certainly better than all the fucking Nazism.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Yeah, but he passed away on January 26th on a Sunday. Dogs don't pass away. Dogs die. Dogs fucking die. Okay? I miss, I love my dogs. 9pm. Died in Died in the owner's arms. How sweet What it's better than fucking dying and it was the
Starting point is 00:12:13 Zone being spiked after it fucking made the decoder to fucking touch down or whatever Unbelievable I unfollowed all the other cute animals except for Cheddarini. Oh, who's Cheddarini? I'm not super Super close to death cuz you like them. I'm not gonna bring up Cheddarini Cheddarini Yeah, good guy. You know who you should look up is the alive Norbert Norbert Barka on Insta's honest is still alive. He's gonna be dead soon go into the know and having play dates with his friends gonna be dead soon No, he's got at least four years. Also my sweet sweet friend I look at this boy and also my sweet sweet friend that runs puppy songs the both of those dogs died too The puppy songs people died. Yes, not the people. No the people live on should we play the funeral dirge for them? Yes
Starting point is 00:13:04 Just skip all ahead a little bit past the drums let's get to the horns the puppy songs guys died too yes and i want to say big ups to mel i want to say his name was ding dong mel ding dong yeah i'm mel and snit and snappet snappet ding dong Mel and SNET is nepet snap it ding-dong You really inspired many cute songs about the cheese tax and oh They're dead I love the cheese so the cheese stack lives forever. Yeah, yeah that you mean the intellectual property rights of the song Yes, I wonder I mean they need to really cut that now that they got time that they don't have to watch all these dogs They can really hit the studio with that cheese. I love you guys, and I'm so sorry Because mine are next might have been next for years well, that's why you're numb yeah
Starting point is 00:13:56 Yeah, I am numb because I was like tootsie. She's got the night terrors Actively keeping you awake actively dying yeah, yeah, she. They're walking around. She's actively keeping you awake and they're actively dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She puked four times last night just walking around just getting mad. Oh, that's why she looks so good, so skinny. She is thin. Yeah, yeah. But no, no, same.
Starting point is 00:14:13 I have two elderly dogs. There's one, I have one elderly dog and they have the other one waiting. Jackie asked me on a double date earlier and then I said, can I bring my dogs because I know they're going to die soon. And you know what? Nothing sets the tone of a double-day better nothing sets one better than breaking your your mid-death Seventeen year old dog. He's fine. So it's he's just it looks sort of like she's seeing all the people She's gonna see on the other side. She done been seeing them people
Starting point is 00:14:41 I feel the same with my father the same way where I'm just kind of numb to the fact that we've Been kind of saying he's gonna be dead. Yeah for so long that even my father sitting around going like wasn't I supposed to be dead Yeah, like literally he said that he's like I thought I was supposed to be dead already We're like not at no it doesn't work like that. He's like, yeah. Well tootsies walking around. She's like Kathy Kathy. Where's Kathy? No, no, I didn't you're like She's walking around. She's like Kathy Kathy. Where's Kathy? No, no, I didn't you're like Oh, yeah, so that's cute though. It is cute. That's cute and sad every time she starts barking at me though I'm like am I dying because you know, she sees it Well, yeah, we ever see though you ever hear those stories about like there was one famous story about a cat
Starting point is 00:15:17 That would choose people in a nursing home. Oh, yeah, it would go lay at the feet of the person and then they'd be like Oh the cat love And then they fucking die You know what they say about that is if you die in front of your cat and people don't find you your cattle eat you But if you die in front of your dog, your dog will not eat you. No, well, I've heard you know, that's one of those kind of Reddy we don't know what I really don't know They've sometimes they say to the good dog will keep them the people from getting to the body Yes, the famous case of the cat named Oscar who worked at a nursing home in Rhode Island Seemed to have an uncanny ability to bread predict when residents were about to die
Starting point is 00:15:52 And that's why I tried to kill the cat I would yeah Oh, no that cat showed up my feet up and like get the hell out of here you feline bastard I'm not going to hell. I will die! No, you're so cute, kitty. I won't die! I need to have sex with another sex worker! Yes. I won't die! I will buy love!
Starting point is 00:16:17 Yeah, so, but here's an update on Norbert's... Casket? No, no, not a casket. He doesn't have one. He says, they say in the post, in celebration of Norbert's life, we will share Norbert's Casket no no not a casket. They he doesn't have one He says they say in the post in celebration of Norbert's life We will share Norbert's photos and videos on his social media and websites in some way We hope to carry on with his good work when you think of him We would want you to just smile in the spirit of Norbert high five to each of you love Julie
Starting point is 00:16:44 So we're gonna still Yeah, I'm following you know Norbert is dead. I know but you wanted to pretend more content. They wanted to pretend they're not pretending It's one or the other You don't think they should post anymore no this is a McCall book well I mean what you think there's no more photos of David Lynch should we just take all of his work and throw it in the trash because he's dead David Lynch was it famous for being cute yeah I mean it was pretty
Starting point is 00:17:17 cute but David Lynch was it look at this no one did this for David Lynch no one wrote oh here's the David Lynch flower pen. I think there is. I bet if I bet David Lynch knee high socks. I don't see those. I bet those exist as well. David Lynch knee high socks. Of course they exist.
Starting point is 00:17:33 It's just different when I view it. It's like the 2025 calendar sold out really quick. Wow. You remember when August Ames, the porn star committed suicide? Yes. I kind of feel the same way, where I just still just, like I don't- But Norbert didn't commit suicide.
Starting point is 00:17:49 No, but it's like it, in a way, gave up. He gave up on us. He didn't give up. You're 15 years old. All he had to do was not die. That's all he had to do. Jimmy Carter waited around for a long fucking time. I think you have an unrealistic view on what,
Starting point is 00:18:03 how long dogs will live. I'm grieving And my grief will appear as it will if you want to be a fan of dogs. No, they're gonna die I know. Oh, I know. All right, I just don't want to think about it to the last part Are you gonna be one of those people that when your dogs die, you're not gonna get any dogs Are you gonna get new dogs? Opposite you're gonna get bigger dogs new dog dog that day. Oh, that day. That day. One, the first visit to the vet to meet the executioner,
Starting point is 00:18:30 and the second visit is going to the pound. Yes. So it's one in and out. That's what I'm doing. No emotional, no emotion. I need the emotional snap back. Yeah. Okay?
Starting point is 00:18:42 I will not grieve properly. I refuse to. And I don't want to I find it weird alright so August Aims when she committed suicide now when every once in a blue moon my penis has an inkling to see her and remember her do you still watch? of course but then right afterwards you were you start thinking about her family well it's just the saddest thing on the world And then you are just jerking off to a dead woman Yeah, I um, you know and you know
Starting point is 00:19:10 She and then obviously in poor most of the time I consider most of these ladies are probably dead Yeah time I'm seeing it, you know All once she was sad she was in the ones from my generation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that's what I mean. They're like professional wrestlers. Yes. It's a hard one in the coal Smith. Are you done with her? Well, she just kind of makes me sad but no, but she's a star. I saw yeah, I mean that's you know She don't do it all the time Eddie. I'm just every once in a blue moon You'll just see a snippet once you'll just see a thing that reminds you that like two big melons are, you walk out, you see a-
Starting point is 00:19:50 I think it's amazing that you get nostalgic while you jerk off. No, it's before. When I, while I'm jerking off, I am a fucking serial killer. No emotion is in there. In the two minutes, 40 seconds it takes me to come while I'm jerking off I am Incorruptible I don't exist There is no me. I am something else. I am a third thing a devil and an angel
Starting point is 00:20:22 cannot be reason with Immediately afterwards it's like all You just see her smiling she's got maybe she has some particular matter on her face And then you think like oh now she's fucking dead Are we talking about Norbert? Cuz I was gonna say Norbert's probably a guy yeah, I don't ever jerk off him yeah Looking at her I'm getting sad you shouldn't be learning their names you got to of course you do You do I do I like their work. I like their art. I like their work. Yeah, I do of course mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:21:06 How is this like whatever the first video is usually well? Yeah, sometimes, but every once in a while if I'm alone You know if I could be in a hotel room this you know whatever we've you've all heard it Well fucking heard this before from countless comedians, so let's talk about some news some real news Shout out to the very alive Norbert Barker. I Know it's a larger dog. So we got less time with it. So exactly get your time with it now. He's very cute All right, so if you want to be with him now do it now and he likes that old lady and that old lady likes him Yes, good Good, but I'm a following. I'm done
Starting point is 00:21:44 All right, so are we gonna talk about any actual news today? Yes, we have to okay, there's still plenty of show Yeah, and there's not much news. No, no, no, no We are still we're gonna be suffering a little bit from and a political vacuum for a little bit Can you believe that Norbert's dead? Unbelievable I'll talk about it more We were supposed to do we did a guest spot on a big podcast yesterday We had a bunch of content we were supposed to talk about and all I wanted to talk about was Norbert The guy wanted nothing. Yeah, nothing to do with it. We all we really wanted to talk about was Paul Prud'homme. Yeah. Oh I love Paul Prud'homme
Starting point is 00:22:18 I met him before he died. Yeah, I still jerk off to his image as much as possible as you should He deserves it. I love my Prud'homme. I met him before he died. Yeah, I still jerk off to his image as much as possible as you should He deserves it. I love combos his kites his spice combinations cannot be beat We'll save it for our nutmeg Bay show later this week. Thank you Eddie. You're right. You have a lot of Information to go through that we will be covering this week now first I want to cover, you know United States America Ain't the only ones that are pretty far ahead along in the game of domestic terrorism. Okay these Canadians You're figuring it out, but just like they do like, you know, I'm not one of these people
Starting point is 00:22:57 I we don't want I don't want you Canada. No, I mean we want you to stay over there I want you over there just because you deserve your own country You don't need to be here. You should get rid of that Queen as far as I'm concerned They have a queen well they got I mean King they got they they have to go pay attention to King Charles Oh, yeah, yeah for the last for the next 15 minutes that he's still alive They have to pay attention to him so but guys we don't stick him out of his mouth Hold my head while I sign these papers Hey, come here. Come here and bring me my bacon, bitch. Hold my hand while I sign these papers.
Starting point is 00:23:26 No, no, no, no, no. They have. Now, they're going to do King Charles knee-high socks. Oh. And King Charles doggy biscuits. But now, Canada, they're catching up to us, but only in the most Canadian way, which is, it's not quite violent enough, guys.
Starting point is 00:23:42 You're going to have to ship up or ship out This was so the police they've cleared the WR Bennett bridge They reopened it to traffic after the Royal Mounted Police news They saw a suspected vehicle an ice cream truck. Okay was parked Blocking the entire bridge now they first didn't know what happened. They didn't know what it was It was blocking a bunch of traffic, but then a Facebook post came out with the Canadian patriot Roy winner, okay who posted explaining there were explosives Inside that ice cream truck and you're only safe if you say 50 feet back because I control it from far away because
Starting point is 00:24:26 now they are looking at it this all came out over the weekend so it was sitting there the first closed the bridge at 3 45 a.m. because it happened in it all the night so that's another one he was really was trying to avoid avoid violence nothing happened yet the guy that was the guy I do think it's funny the head investigator for this by the name of his name is Gerbil inspector Chris Gerbil which is the first I didn't know they allowed that Germany girl I guess so he will he's the Canadian gerbils no okay well you know you better think about maybe the fact that fascism is gonna save all of us, you know
Starting point is 00:25:07 That's Canadian gurgles And so they went they figured out but the the message is really wanted to come in too because they so again, it's Canada so this is in the town of Colona Colona, okay, which I believe is in I forgot which one of these fucking places colonists in British, Columbia So the he this guy Roy winner, they have been trying to obviously hide his truths from us Okay, they're really afraid that his manifesto will radicalize people um very Similar to Luigi Mangione. Did you read his manifesto? Of course I did. You love manifestos. Manifestos are one of my favorite things You know, that's what you can replace Norbert with. Oh my manifestos. Yeah, and then I can write mine. Yeah
Starting point is 00:25:53 finally finally Alright So Roy winner, I will be live streaming this action to bring public attention to unnecessary evil Right when you see this email this action has commenced. If for some reason this doesn't make the news, you might want to question why. And it's because the RCMP are going to try to bury everything and all the evidence to go along with it while protecting the Hells Angels, Kelowna Cabs and willing participants
Starting point is 00:26:21 from public attention. Whether you believe it or not this story is 100% truthful. Just so everyone is fully aware of the fact that the Attorney General of Canada Arif Farani's office has had complete copy of all the evidence delivered by Canada by Canada Posts to 284 Wellington Street on January 17, 2025, 1057 a.m. First, I would not apologize to everyone who suffers because of my actions here today but you can ultimately thank the RCMP, the Hells Angels,
Starting point is 00:26:49 Kelowna Cabs, and willing participants for putting me in this predicament. The William R. Bennett Bridge is closed in both directions until this matter is resolved and my life restored with restitution. I am accusing the RCMP, especially Sergeant Bryce Peterson, the Hills Angels, Kelowna Cabs, and willing participants for conspiracy, collaboration, corruption, crookedness, while intentionally causing me irreversible financial harm. Now, the Hills Angels have been in the news lately.
Starting point is 00:27:22 What's going on? Are they back officially? In, well, remember in the news lately what's going on there? Are they back officially in? Remember in Australia, they talked about the bike ease the bike ease. They definitely got a bikey problem They have a biker problem and Canada does still have a hell's angels problem with this guy I figured they'd be you know, very inactive in the winter But he has a now a bunch of rules of what people are allowed to do around him He said the emergency vehicles are allowed to pass him, as long as they got their sirens on.
Starting point is 00:27:46 And he says, choice A, all right, you got two choices. Right, choice A, right, you'll see that my vehicle has got 60 pounds of highly volatile material that requires nothing more than a stupid human to make a simple mistake and regret their decision. Choice A is that today, a safe distance from my vehicle is approximately 50 feet. Choice B is that I will introduce you to God at the same time I introduce myself. So he's just sitting in an ice cream truck on a bridge.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Waiting to saying that he's going to blow it all up. And then they are letting traffic Resume it's very Canadian. They're Enough sitting there like waving a car is holding a button. They won't even Won't even dare to shoot me They won't even try to arrest me. And so he's would you drive past it? You sure I'd give him a honk. Yeah. Yeah, I mean no boy. He could just let it off at any moment I want a chocolate. I want chocolate double scoop
Starting point is 00:28:52 Why would that jump and they won't kill him because they don't want this bridge to blow up That's Canada and so they went they're very very cautious in Canada and I think largely they didn't believe him because they didn't know what's going on because they found out that the Matter of fact, they they safely went through the the entire truck Basically the manifesto long and short. This is much longer than I even want it to be that they Gave him tickets. He didn't like Yeah, and then he went to fight him with the hells Angels. Yep and won in court and
Starting point is 00:29:26 Then so he won very similar to our killdozer in battle winners He also Was apparently involved in some kind of assault with a what he said was a Hells Angel And he was trying to save the town was a Hells Angel and he was trying to save the town from this Hells Angel and that the police protected the Hells Angel. Oh so he just attacked some guy because he was wearing a biker's cut. He doesn't like motorcycles. Yeah. He's I think they scare him. I think it's because ice cream trucks are really slow. The ice cream trucks and motorcycles are enemies. I would say that they are
Starting point is 00:30:03 definitely enemies. So they say that they are definitely enemies So they went they got him the the explosive unit they arrived. They're stationed on the bridge. This is back in the day and the active commissioner they said they went through the Yes, the risk assessment of the vehicles contents was finally found coupled with the man's comments over both the phone and online resulted in both the southeast districts emergency response team and the RCMP explosive disposal being deployed. And they said they did not elaborate on the contents of the van,
Starting point is 00:30:34 but that they pose a significant risk to public safety. So what that means is that there were no there was nothing in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was nothing in that van. And he lied. And they didn't want to admit that. No, yeah, they they definitely was nothing in that and he lied and they didn't want to admit that no Yeah, they definitely would have said if it was a bomb. Yeah, they absolutely would have said it was a bomb Yeah, no for sure. Yeah, and then he started a fire in the van He was partying across the bridge. I'm taking it gonna be hard. Oh, yeah. Yeah That's what nobody tells you. He said all the ice cream melts and mills, you know what melts an ice cream is like no one says
Starting point is 00:31:05 It's like water It's like it's not like diesel fuel those I can put out flames. That's the thing. They're they're unhinged man Remember the mr. Softy guys in New York. Oh, yeah, they were fucking nuts, dude I remember they used to they love the cheese steaks when I worked at 99 miles to fill with the cheese steak restaurant They would always call and then they put it in order for a cheese steak and they'd be like delivery and I'm like All right. Where are you at? Who what's your address? You're like miss softy. I was like, okay He said I'm gonna miss softy truck. All right, where is it? I'm a softy. It's like you're not mr So you're not if you think you're the ice cream
Starting point is 00:31:43 This conversation has to hand mr. Soft. He's a brand and you work. You're not he has ice cream for a head It's not you But yeah, these I mean when you live on an ice cream truck, I mean life is crazy. I know I Mean an ice cream truck in Canada in the middle of winter. I mean this guy's got problems useless. Yeah He just needs something to do strike trying to sell ketchup to a lady with white gloves. That's right, man Yeah, why you doing that? I don't know. I don't want to even say cuz you're Brian Dennehy. Yep. That's right. Oh, yeah So that's that story That's really all we got
Starting point is 00:32:20 Canada is not releasing a heck of a lot about this because of the fact that there was no probably no Bomb in there. He caused a public nuisance and Was then arrested and the perfect Canadian domestic terrorist Vent because nothing happened. Yeah, because that's what they're really good at Can it can not has a thing that I find interesting there were no animals involved which is on Canadian be very on Canadian I have found that Canada has distinctly very intense laws about planning crimes
Starting point is 00:32:51 Versus doing them like there is a big story that they forgot the hell her name is there was a shooter that They got them they gave them a life sentences on just planning the shooting. Oh really? Without doing the shooting. Which is fascinating in and of itself because technically it's hard because it's. What if planning crimes. The Valentine's Day shooting planning. Lindsay Savonarant, this lady,
Starting point is 00:33:21 was a US women sentence of life, but it was just to plot the shooting and what they say Is that if you put up a bunch of like she tried it she came into? Canada from America. They said that once she crossed the border Then it shows the intent and then they went and I believe that they had a gun But the thing is then when you listen to which is a last podcast and the left thing though Which is a lot of people don't say, that's what it says here. The Rosinski, according to police, justice Peter Rosinski, they said if the plan to kill
Starting point is 00:33:51 on suspecting shoppers and up and interrupted by an anonymous tip and the quick actions of local police, it would have been carried out. But it was still, I'm going to say that was still pretty far from when it was carried out. And if you were to kind of see their correspondence now like yes, obviously they take these mass shootings extremely seriously as we all do, but there's a little bit of this could just be two morons talking. Yeah, I was thinking about that and I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:19 They are just two morons. Please stop anyone who's planning a mass shooting. Thank you for your work, officers. But at what point does it go from a possible creative exercise to a crime? Well, it's also in Canada, they say that idea of the threatening. Yeah, the sentence was partly shaped, according to Rosinski again, by the principles that apply to terrorism. While he told the court the motivations and intentions in the case
Starting point is 00:34:46 Are not precisely the same as those related to terrorism activities He said the crime requires the court to send a clear message To those conspiring to kill multiple people that they will pay a heavy price Now that it that's interesting because they do the exact opposite of what we do in our country We don't like labeling things as terrorism, unless of course they're Luigi Manzioni and they actually inspire a bunch of people. Then that's very quickly terrorism. So that they can, even though they don't understand the opposite. Quickly terrorism. It was like a week or two.
Starting point is 00:35:16 They debated whether it was terrorism or not. No, but it was a real quick debate. Yeah, it was a real quick debate. Now, I want to circle back to this because you know thinking about it. It's just like planning like that what if what if that's just like a creative thing that you
Starting point is 00:35:34 Want to do dude is screenplay and then it's legal. There's literally no I feel like it's just one of those There's there is no right and wrong. I guess the moment you buy a gun. That's what they're saying Yeah, the moment you buy a gun that's what they're saying yeah the moment you buy a gun it changes but still and I'm in an American justice and for I would consider if we if when we have those things it does make sense to me that you can still make the decision to not pull that trigger up until the moment you pull that trigger like to me it comes into what you wait Then you have a disaster on your hand, but you'd be surprised. I actually just watched another
Starting point is 00:36:11 It was an interrogation series of these two teen Mass shooters that one of them obviously the one said they were the aggressor right one said that they were aggressor And the other said that they were not the aggressor But when they dealt when they went deeper into it they could see that it was a Was a kind of the opposite and it was like that one was like the kids though Were really hesitant Into the very very very last minute. Yeah, and then the first killing happened. They pulled out a gun The other kids immediately wrestled the gun away try to wrestle the gun away from him and he shot the first person
Starting point is 00:36:53 But he didn't shoot anybody else. Okay, but There's something in that to me. That's where the line is. Yeah, they brought to school It pulled but it's it's hard because that but then also too far, of course Well, then I think about well, you know, we suffered a dive suffered unfortunately to very dangerous stalkers And part of that issue with stalkers is the same things that you really can't do anything about it until I fucking kill You and your family because they're just saying like it's a free world and they can they can technically harass you as much as they want Especially if you're a public figure in that way, so it's one of those where it's kind of all over the place I have no fucking idea. I don't know. I feel that this is because in America
Starting point is 00:37:35 We also a lot of times we do the the not entrapment, but we help Radicalized people. Yes, we do that in order to stop. Yes to stop them We show up and give them all the gear and say hey meet us here and then we arrest them Yeah, so I don't know. I have no idea what the right answer is working for us because nothing bad happens. That's the thing eddie Because the best part about it and then what they do is it's like they set up a terrorist event that they then Stop and then they go see Yeah, see what we did They do catch some people of course they do new the NYPD talks about I remember was talking to somebody that the idea that if you knew
Starting point is 00:38:12 Like how much shit? floats Like through the NYPD like halls well I were terms of information and then what that happens there They're like you'd never sleep ever I worked with the NYPD for a little bit because we wanted to work on a roast with them. So I took a couple meetings with them and I got involved with the first precinct. And I remember they showed us the room where they have the morning meeting, like go find this guy, go find that guy. These are the corners that are trouble.
Starting point is 00:38:44 And then I looked on the side because they have the mug shots. They have like a thing of mug shots that you can flip through. And then I saw another pad that just had photos of suspicious packages that they found on the subway. And it, one of them was just like dynamite and a clock found in a Macy's bag. Yeah. We just did it like I was just like whoa, what's this? I'm like, yeah, we found that on the subway and I was like how often does this happen? They're like more than you'd like How many times we carried props Look just like that taped up fake guns
Starting point is 00:39:22 How much problem how many problems we cause just being artists? Live from your grave. Well, this next story that I want to talk about is actually related to the subject we're talking about, which this happened in Texas. A North Texas resident is an on edge after their ring doorbell captures a devil at the door. Oh, this fucking guy. Yes. So apparently a guy in a hoodie and a red goat mask
Starting point is 00:39:52 showed up to someone's front door with a sign that just says, revelation 20, colon, one through 15. Yeah, I want to look at it. Obviously, it's obviously the Bible verse revelations. And oh, yeah, I got it. Yeah, I want to look at obviously It's obviously the Bible verse revelations and oh, yeah, I got it. Yeah, it's awesome Yeah, I mean it's fucking metal. It is metal I will say I saw the angel coming down out of heaven having the keys to the abyss and holding in his hand a great chain He sees the dragon that ancient serpent who is the devil or satan and bound him for a thousand years He threw him into the abyss and locked and sealed it over him to keep him from deceiving the nations anymore
Starting point is 00:40:32 Until the thousand years were ended after that. He must be set free for a short time Yes Well, the homeowner said my husband and I had gone out to dinner And we'd stopped off at the store to pick up a Powerball ticket and I was waiting in the car. The devil! The devil lies in its gambling heart! I mean honestly I agree in that way.
Starting point is 00:40:54 But they got their, they got a ring notification and she looked at her phone and there was a dude in a fucking hoodie with this goat devil mask holding the Revelations. Never let them forget friend. Always scare them sir. Yeah. Yes! See they all right the devil is coming and he is your neighbor and he is going to tell the HOA that your lawn is too big. Yeah. He's coming for you. And so she called the cops, filled out a police report, but no crime was actually committed. There is no crime. It's not even really a threat It's art in a weird way. Technically that's what everybody likes in this country. That's evangelicalism
Starting point is 00:41:36 It's so the cops literally spreading the word of Christ. Yeah, so the cops are like we wrote it down But there's nothing we can do and she's like I hope that they catch the guy Why nothing to catch what if there's nothing to catch? Yeah, it's a fun guy having a fun time I bet you that guy's not even Christian and she said I bet you that guy's just high as balls Oh having a great night and guess what? This guy just fucking gave me Henry Zabrowski an idea Yeah of what to do on the weekend. Oh, yeah, this is exactly what I want to do Well, you know side stories LP OTS gmail.com. Am I bothering you? Yeah
Starting point is 00:42:17 Am I scaring you side stories at? LP OTS gmail.com, please email in yeah Well, she posted about it on social media and it got a lot of traction. Of course it did. It's awesome. But a lot of people said that they would shoot the person. What? That they would just kill them. Which if you do this, you'll spend the rest of your life in prison. If you shoot somebody over something fake like this, you're very fucking. Do you look and you deserve whatever happens to you? Do you look at this as a threat?
Starting point is 00:42:50 I mean in a way, it's a threat but not really Ah, you want to know my actual my actual theory on this happened to you. What would you do? Look, it'd be awesome. It's just talking about Do you want to come in and have tea? Yeah, but hey You know, you know what my actual theory is What she did this? Whoa She made this all up All these entire things are is obviously a man in the in the hoodie
Starting point is 00:43:16 She so she's not she can't possibly have ever met a man that would do this Well, she was with her husband at the you know The so man and a wife have never met another man to share their wife With well, they've never once had a big old big old guy come over and rail the living f out of your wife While you're sitting there going yeah next time fucking Greg go respect me next time when he sees how big a dick my wife Can take yeah, take it all Cindy. Yeah, yeah And once she comes they're like you want to do some fun. Mm-hmm. Let's get some cardboard You know, it'd be interesting look at the time of the ring video and
Starting point is 00:43:54 The time of the purchase of the Powerball ticket see if they line up while you see this is what I'm saying This is what the cops would need to do. Yeah, I think the cops also don't care because there's no crime They couldn't possibly give a fucking shit Yeah, they don't care about this at all because I can guarantee they looked at this and also said probably you did this Yeah, then you did this to have this go viral So that everyone can think that you're being persecuted for your whatever your Christian beliefs or whatever is happening when it's actually not yeah I think the goat mask is Stupid it's not good one. No, it could be a little dumber. happening when it's actually not yeah, I think the goat mask is Stupid it's not good one. No, it could be a little dumber. No, it's a stupid good Yeah, it's not even that evil looking. It's no red. It's just a it's sort of like a devil mask. I'm saying
Starting point is 00:44:35 That this is a home brood. Okay issue and this woman is doing this to us. Oh And that that guy's fake. Okay. That's my fucking call. But it's in Dallas, so we can go check it out when we're in town. Oh yeah, on February 22nd. We gotta get this guy to come to the show. Yeah, yeah. Reveal yourself at our show, please.
Starting point is 00:44:54 I would love to have the... Honestly, the real hero here is the gold-faced man. The mask maker. If the mask maker could reach out to sidestore's lpotl at gmail.com we would love to talk about the end times. I mean the mask maker is from China. China. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Yeah, yeah, that's different. We'll meet the nine year old that made that plastic mask. There's nothing I would like to hear about the crimes that that nine year old has seen working inside of the Halloween mask factories of China. There is a fun story from my hometown. What did you want to talk about? First, I want to talk about the fact that this egg has arrived again.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Oh, more eggs. There's another egg. Well, you know, the price still hasn't gone down. No. Oh, it's almost like, Eddie, I don't know if he even had a plan to bring the prices of groceries down. Yeah. I don't even think that there might even
Starting point is 00:45:47 not even been a plan, Eddie. Really? Yeah. The concepts of a plan. No, Eddie, that's funny. That's funny, Eddie. What a funny joke. 4chan leak, Antarctica egg.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Oh, it's Antarctica. I don't know why I thought it was in Alaska. So show this video. now this comes from our favorite reputable news source for Chan. Mm-hmm. There has been another video. The other main post from Reddit was removed. Wow. This one is not so as you can see you remember last week I showed you a video of what looked like an egg on a stick. Yes. This is the same But it looks far more elaborate
Starting point is 00:46:25 This one is a new one same thing. They believe that this was recovered outside of Antarctica and it was an ancient object This is a part of this whatever this leak series is where you see what you would it supposed to be some either I don't know what they call the dick of a helicopter. What do they call it that pops out of the bomb? What's the red rocket of a helicopter the cockter? Something like that? Yeah They got a thing hanging from that and you got the fucking egg hanging from that it looks better than the other one I so is it night am I looking at two things or one thing you're looking at two things you see that thing Dangling and swinging. Yes, that's the egg. That is the egg like UFO What is below it the red rocket of the helicopter it is never the hanging penis out of the bottom of a
Starting point is 00:47:09 helicopter that hangs a piece of rope that is holding whatever that egg hold on am I looking at this from the ground perspective from the from the sky perspective imagine a helicopter is okay this. No, you're doing it this way. Alright, I'm a helicopter. You see me now? You're so pretty. You see how my arms are going like the rotors of a helicopter? Yeah, well they're just going back and forth.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Well, this is as far as they can go. You see how they're like a helicopter? Sure. Right? Yeah. My penis is hanging down, right? In this position, my penis is hanging down. That's what we're looking from.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Imagine that, like imagine I'm a helicopter and you're a little man hanging out of my belly button looking over my dick and balls to the floor. Like POV. Yes. But it does look like the sky is behind the egg. That's a mountain range. That's a mountain range. If that is real.
Starting point is 00:48:03 But these are trees here. Well that's a mountain range with fucking trees on it Eddie this video is garbage Actually think I do think that this one is better Than the other one, but this is another drones. We all do I like the drones more than the eggs this egg stuff. I don't really even understand It's just all over my UFO stuff. Yeah, this egg stuff is new Ross Cole hearts got another guy So this is also interesting a guy that he was talking to again. Is he full of shit? I have no fucking clue. So you see this big issue, right?
Starting point is 00:48:40 With whistleblowers that Ross Cole heart was talking to David Grush and David Grush kept saying that he was just talking about things other guys told him they saw. But I thought Grush was reliable. No, well his position was reliable but he said but he said in his quote-unquote honesty, I am describing things other people said they saw. Okay. But, Ross Coleheart's got a new guy, Jacob Barber, who has said he has seen these things himself. Okay. He's a new guy.
Starting point is 00:49:18 He says he's worked for the past 30 years. He's worked in both official and unofficial capacities for the U.S. government. He says he wants to tell people going on what he's seen according to the Russ Coleheart this come This is brand new. I'm as an unknown man. He delivered. This is this is brand new and he says we're in this rare Opportunity and human history where it's very clear that we know that there are things flying in the sky that are unexplained and that we know that there are things flying in the sky that are unexplained and Ununderstood and that there's another one of the things that I'm uniquely providing information on and he says that he saw the aliens himself He said it's kind of crazy. This is it. Yeah, this guy was gonna name John Blitch
Starting point is 00:50:00 He said everything changed on September 11th. I Left the Air Force a lot of shit. Yeah, thanks for the update. Yeah, buddy. No way. I Left the Air Force and was sent out to California at that time to begin establishing my cover bases as an independent contractor So that I could serve what was coming down the line next for me was the path which led to the UAP subject a Lot of the work we did was when I called the range the UAP subject. A lot of the work we did was one I call the range where the US government and its private partners used to test all kinds of things, weapon systems and resilience to weapon systems of certain craft. And so you see a lot of exciting things said Barber. But then he started to see strange things. It's always
Starting point is 00:50:37 interesting out there he said. Things come in and out of sight, things disappear for a moment and reappear. Things seem move very quickly things change color. They change shape And then I'm talking about Oprah Winfrey About time And so John Barber he also said Jacob Barber also said he's like we know that they classified craft and we recovered them and we Took them back where they go. They went to a place. He said we picked them up So they recovered things quote-unquote exotic in nature. And he said he's got his first glimpse of non-human pretty quickly. He said, I saw
Starting point is 00:51:13 an egg. It was a white egg. There was no engine. There was no thermal signature. I was operating at night when I finally came in to pick it up. So I'm working under night vision goggles at the time and it was quite clear I flipped them up flipped them down and looked at a couple of different ways And it was an egg metallicy pearly white He said I could tell you that the reaction by my team. We all knew we were dealing something strange
Starting point is 00:51:41 See they said it was weird. They didn't know what it was and they had a had hieroglyphics on its side Okay, you said and then he went you'd want to go drop off the egg He said but there was another object when he dropped off the first egg a basket It was a giant bunny One was the egg the other was why I called an eight gun The eight gun was essentially a flying disk with what looked like eight The 8-gon was essentially a flying disc with what looked like eight delineated sections when looking down. And I can tell you what it looked like from looking down because that's primarily how
Starting point is 00:52:09 I saw it, because I'm a helicopter pilot. We did recoveries with the 8-gons. There was more than one that made its way to the ground on this particular operation. And as I get started getting closer to the site, he's in one of the most profound experiences of his life. Last time he picked up an 8-gon. He said, I started feeling odd. I started feeling extremely emotional. And the closer I got, the more the emotions
Starting point is 00:52:30 started to overwhelm me. I felt this intense hybrid of sadness and happiness and beauty and song. And it was very disruptive to me because I had a very practical responsibility at the time to operate a helicopter in the mountains at night. And I began wondering, what the hell is wrong with me I felt something had connected with me
Starting point is 00:52:48 I felt like something and tuned into me and my soul and was providing me some sense of guidance on what to do and how Profound what I was doing was it was so overwhelming that I began to cry. It's very feminine energy She said the UFOs were talking to him. So this guy You're you remember they said about Your sign of a size sociopath is if you see the entire whites above the pupils. Yes, he's one of those guys No for sure. Oh, yeah, he definitely looks like an egg the um, I Don't know it just seems like why why can't helicopter pilots be emotional
Starting point is 00:53:31 Cool. No, it said I mean, why is that bad? It's actually they say this to the dish truly. It is Leave it at home. They shouldn't be emotional. They should not be emotional They should be you know that the one of the you know the only like and we're cruising at 10,000 feet like that voice yeah like that voice was a Constant what was apparently was a impression was an impression of Chuck Yeager So Chuck Yeager was would considered to be like one of the biggest icons of all pilots right he broke the sound barrier He did all this shit. But the thing was, unflappable.
Starting point is 00:54:08 No emotions. No personality. You know, like, and that's what they look for in astronauts. That's why a lot of astronauts are test pilots. Yeah, never interview an astronaut. They are boring. They don't really got a lot to say except the one guy with the mustache. He just opens different things in space and goes, look how that floats.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I know, like, we all love that guy. We all love that guy, but I'm saying that's what spaces Yeah, like it's scared the first I meant it sounds like what's scary. It's like what they talked about with space Apparently, it's just terror mixed with Unbearable boredom. I've you thought about going I would never go to space. You're obsessed with space I will go to space when there is a proper private way to go to space really Oh, I didn't want me Lance Basco's all the time. Yes, cuz he's one light a ball So he's fine up there. He doesn't need I got two I get two big I got two big ones, right? Let's pass awesome in his balls, right? I have no idea. Didn't you have testicular cancer? I know I don't know
Starting point is 00:55:02 No idea. Did he have testicular cancer? I know I don't know Tell me that's my vocal warm-up last bass had testicular cancer That's no, that's oh, he doesn't have no no he's okay. Whatever dude. What a bitch. He's got diabetes. He's got type 1.5 Heard of that. It's called the fucking remake and arthritis. Yeah, it's alright. So he's cool. Alright As long as he's got that betus. Yeah, I like him. I only like him sick. Well Do I have time for my fat man from home? Oh, yeah, too Oh, you got to because the listener letters were not there very good this week No, and so not no in on in terms of like what we want to talk about the ones I got Or I'm gonna use for other purposes
Starting point is 00:55:46 Yeah, yeah, they're they're there for they they go in other directions So except the big one that I will say which is I'll just throw it out there There was no such thing as a Roman salute. Yeah, we know that yeah But we did not but the idea that even the concept of the Roman salute there was no such thing No is created in movies, but it was first created in paintings then Reiterated by pop culture and things featuring Roman, but there are no statues with the Roman salutes No, nothing like that. No the artist from back in the day. It's a holy Nazi invention. Yes, and they really like it
Starting point is 00:56:18 Yeah, and all the Nazis are very happy about the South Africans Nazi salute. Oh, they love that Is a Nazi. They really really like that. Yeah. Yeah, it's good for them. It's good for his good for his his constituency his demo well speaking of chaos a large
Starting point is 00:56:43 bald man struck a Slimmer man on the head with a dinner plate. That's right. The big news broke it Stories of Florida attorney allegedly attacks father of girl who cut in front of him at a buffet at a meat station Okay, so let's first break this down. Number one, it was an irate move. You know a man's fat when his face hides his ears. Yes. I have never seen a face-
Starting point is 00:57:17 The tops of his ears are the only thing you can see. I have never seen someone's face fat Covered that much of their ears It is weird that is a wild face his cheeks and are thicker than his neck and the top of his head his Lawyer his whole goatee area could fit inside of a large woman's pussy. Yes, that's how small it is Yeah, no there is he is a he's very he's very large and you also, another way to tell that a man is fat in a news article is when the other man is constantly called Slim. When they say that the other slimmer man,
Starting point is 00:57:52 like they constantly talk about this. Being like, we could just like, also you could just say two guys, but it's like they obviously wanted to point out how fat the first man was, so they had to, they had to just say, large man and slimmer man. Yes, I like this story a lot because it happened less than a mile from my high school.
Starting point is 00:58:12 And it concerns a thing to us, which is? Meat lines at buffets. Buffet crimes. Yes. So, okay. I'm of two minds here, Eddie. I agree with the man, but I feel like he took it too far. I'm into my mother. Let me okay. Let me ask All right, Eddie Rob your for your former real fat boy, and you were you were a fat boy Eddie
Starting point is 00:58:33 And I and I do you know feel like we can commiserate on this Also, but oh so big. Oh, bring me my chicken. Sorry doing my whale performance my Oscar. Where's my chicken? No my problem with the whale is not one fart and the whole fucking movie last week There's not gonna be one for her so good like my lovers farts Miss them is that guy? So Are there lines and okay? Let me just put this this way are there actual? literal lines to follow in a buffet when a Buffet is two-sided.
Starting point is 00:59:26 Okay, if a buffet is two-sided, and you can have equal access, is there such a thing and a need for a linear line to approach the buffet? And does any buffet- Now when you say it's two-sided, is it two lines that lead to a middle? Oh, it's an island, so you can get on either side of it.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Yes, or- Because sometimes it's the same stuff and two lines that meet in a middle? Oh, it's an island. So you can get on either side of it. Yes, or- Because sometimes it's the same stuff in two lines that meet in the middle and go out. Or another caveat to this, yes, is there a, are lines even necessary? Or two, right? You've already been one round. You've already done the entire thing.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Must you wait online to get to the specific food that you want for doubles I think if you've already been there, you definitely have to wait in yes Why though you're just getting one specific food, but not everyone has gotten their one specific food so far So you have to wait till they all get their food and then you can get more food in outside of the buffet World in outside of the base buffet world. You're right. Yeah inside the buffet world and outside of the buffet world you're right. Yeah. Inside the buffet world this is an equal opportunity zone. You know like this is a buffet there's gonna be enough for all of us unless they
Starting point is 01:00:34 specifically say that there's gonna be a limited amount that I can understand they're being aligned for but they're gonna be hush puppies. Yeah. They're gonna come back with more hush puppies they're gonna come back with more mac and cheese. There must be order or it more hush puppies. They're gonna come back with more mac and cheese. There must be order. Or it will just be chaos. There must be order. I'm not saying you have to wait for everyone to finish,
Starting point is 01:00:52 but you need to get back in line. See, this is the heart of this story because it comes down to is there a bigger crime than cutting the line? And we don't know if he's on seconds, though. We don't know. I imagine because of his violence, it was first. You're talking about Fat Man was on his first. Yes. So you're saying when the father broke into the line, cut in line in front of him with the daughter. The
Starting point is 01:01:12 daughters cut in front and he yelled at the daughters and then he pointed his violence to their father because he knew he was aware enough that he could not beat the daughters, you know, so he in a way In a way that makes him kind of classy Well, you're gonna be in a boat of boat of buffet and you're gonna you at least he could have hit the girls Well, he could hit the girl. Oh, yeah, I'm not saying he should have He he could have yes. No, if he felt the need he physically could have made that bad choice and hit them Yes, and if I was manager of the buffet I'd have to actually sit and listen to the man and say well they did cut now
Starting point is 01:01:55 I have to say this isn't a sizzler. This isn't a golden corral. This is a wedding So it kind of changes everything you're acting like a lunatic at a wedding So it kind of changes everything you're acting like a lunatic at a wedding Well, I then like people are having fun. So they're more jokey They might cut more likely to cut have some fun, especially young ladies having a good time Who knows what if it might have caught the bouquet? They're feeling lucky You know This leave see this man. you want to get it between Your I mean first of all that is you're just saying yeah, he is primary yes, cuz I know the laws of the jungle
Starting point is 01:02:34 Yeah, right. Yeah, he eats first Absolutely, he's got to eat. Yeah, the little girls don't know no, no, they don't know They're just having a good time. But can I say that this may be a good opportunity for them to learn? I mean they did I think this is a really good learning opportunity for them in this high stakes Buffet scenario because this guy took it to the proper level like obviously it might you might say yes You didn't need to physically beat the man, right? No Yes, you didn't need to physically beat the man right no Like he was blue dough yeah, yeah, he was like he was like I'm not gonna hit these girls. Where is their father?
Starting point is 01:03:22 I feel like there was sense here. Maybe you know what I think is that we don't know that there's bold beef I mean besides You know what I think is that we don't know that there's bold beef. I mean besides are you saying? Fucking perfect shots fired Boca Lago Country Club Off a Boca Rio Road. Yeah, Lake mouth prime rib buffet. Yeah Well, you know, it's a golf course, you know And there's a golf course across the street that we used to always break into and throw parties at But yeah during the reception the defendant was allegedly in line in the prom rib carving station when two young girls cut in front of him, the Palm Beach Sheriff counties, and the rower got angry about being
Starting point is 01:03:53 cut in front of the buffet and confronted the father and one of the girls. And then the father, to be honest, needs to best the other man in hand-to-hand combat for respect of his daughters. So in a way I feel like yes even at a wedding that even makes this even more an essential human fight. He was cut. That is no one is saying this man was not cut. He's a victim here. He a type of victim. A type. Hey, I think that all of the stories, like if he hit the daughters, I'd be saying much different stuff. A worker said in a sworn statement that they saw the whole interaction from the start and
Starting point is 01:04:36 corroborate the victim's account about why Mark became upset at being cut in line. He was cut in line. The witness then stated that the victim had turned away from Mark in an attempt to ignore him. And this is when Mark walked up to him with a plate and hit the victim in the head with the plate. Never turn your back on a giant hungry bastard. Yes. The witness confirmed that the plate shattered and Mark pushed the victim and was holding him by the collar. The witness then stated that the surrounding people separated the two individuals But then mark attempted to walk back over to the victim. Yeah
Starting point is 01:05:10 The witness said we ain't done here yet. I still see you got my fucking short wrap Yeah, they heard multiple plates shatter But only one was used to hit the victim in the head and I want to say as a Florida man This man this is a wedding. He could have been in from out of town. This might not be a Floridian. It could just happen in Florida. Actually, you might be right. And that's why I think it's important before your weddings to solve a lot of your...try
Starting point is 01:05:36 to squash your stuff right before you get in there and let it play out. Also Boca Rio Road, you're going to love this. When I was a kid, they found a van full of teenagers in the canal of Boca Rio Road. Why this is interesting is because they found the van, but apparently it was a bunch of kids that went missing in the 60s, and then a fisherman found the van. And then-
Starting point is 01:05:58 So they were dead in there? They were dead in there for like 40 years. That's awesome! See, there you go. They all thought that they ran away and joined a cult, a cult but they were just didn't get far from home and just like drove into the into the canal That's like oh, that's like Mike Myers was the one words like they be healthy and maniacs on the bus Oh, yeah, 10,000 maniacs. No, it was another movie. It was another movie had a bunch of guys crazy guys on a bus Oh, I love a bus. They died anyway. Well, we got a we got to wrap this up to get out of here
Starting point is 01:06:29 We got a wrap up today I you know live every day knowing that you keep your head in the swivel at a buffet move it along people Yeah, move it along. I love huge men at buffets. We all love the buffet was violent and he is obviously The problem here, but if you... I'm not blaming the victims, but don't cut! Love yourself and love the buffet environment by following the rules, but also move in a timely manner. Because then you can laugh your way back to your seat with your hush puppies, with your... Finally, sliced roast beef, with your mac and cheese, because what you've done here is followed the rules and created a society
Starting point is 01:07:06 But you also chose your food and a timely matter that moved us all along This isn't fucking a three-star mission a restaurant. Okay, we don't need to peruse all of the stations. You can come back to it It's a buffet. You're gonna want to do this in multiples. Yes, we have to we have to go we have to go We're interviewing Kane pixels for our patreon So go subscribe and listen to that there We're going to twitch.tv slash lpl TV and go to the last podcast on left.com Yeah, we're gonna talk about the back room so you can check it out there. Love you guys. Bye

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