Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: The Audition

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

This week on Side Stories - Henry bares it all and reveals the full, true story behind his SNL audition, the boys pay tribute to the late, great David Lynch, another East Coast family annihilation, the boys react to new “Egg” UAP leaks, San Antonio man (and known group chat deviant) shoots truck driver after collision, Listener E-Mails, and MORE! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. Sign stories? That's when the cannibalism started. SIGN STORIES. Yes. Ugh, God. What a week. You know, it's- Yeah, you feeling good? You stretch? You know what it is? I've been having some problems with my shoulder. And I went into PT, right?

And he explained to me, he showed me this whole thing that I'd never seen before. He was like, it's this sort of like ancient form of exercise. Can you show it to me? Yeah, it's like, he said that if I have problems with the right shoulder, it's to go, oh, like this. Oh, yeah. That works. It's like a salute motion. If you can see it, I saw this. this it's crazy it was like serendipitous.

Stick around to see the the release of the video. The key is that my shoulder hurts so much. Yeah I see that. I have to do it like and you know what that looks like. What? A Roman salute. Whoa I actually that's kind of crazy now that you say that. Yeah yeah yeah yeah from your heart out to the yeah and we know that the Romans were you know they didn't have slaves

No, and the Romans were innocent. Yeah, they were totally cool. They didn't kill Christians. No no no no this is Alliance for Actually there's another is my hips been hurting yeah, Yeah, there's another one. There's another one Yeah, my hips been hurting so I know what's wrong. Yeah, I'm trying to I've been doing this one Oh big high steps. Yeah, you know what's funny do them together if you do them together. You're just like Actually, that's some really good cardio because what's nice is you know, what's funny just seeing you do that kind of reminds me of a silly little goose Nice is you know what's funny just seeing you do that kind of reminds me of a silly little goose Welcome to side stories my name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with my best friend Ed Larson. That's right How you doing buddy, and we are obviously Parodying a bit of what's going on here. You see I just you know if you're on my main takeaway from from this whole week, right?

We're just not even gonna I mean we know I Fight right we're public figures. Yeah in a way and so I know I have like Would you call impulsive thoughts? Yeah on a public level all time and I'm putting for the people sometimes I've been words sometimes. I've been talking so long all week that sometimes I even forget like I'm on microphone. Right, and I forget that I'm on stage. I'm just constantly doing stuff.

So you kind of just forget. But I'd say a big thing I'd like to give to any piece of advice to anybody who wants to be a performer. Is that if you're ever in a situation where there's a podium and a lot of flags. And people behind you, behind you. Behind you, right? Yeah, and if you're on the steps of the Capitol.

Of any big Capitol building. I'd say one thing you might wanna do, you might wanna avoid, is any single motion that might be misconstrued for a zygile. Only just because. People get mad! I'm not trying to shit on artistic expression. Yeah.

We know that it's a lucky thing. Everybody knows a swastika is lucky. Yeah! Um, and, but it's just, it's just important to know is to think about what's this gonna look like on YouTube. Mm-hmm. You know, what's this gonna look like as a still? Yeah, especially like as a leader, as someone who's, who's, you know, buying our country. I don't know, but you know what but I'm just innocent mistakes innocent mistake South Africa he doesn't know what Nazis are. No, they have something else. Yeah

They did a bunch of other stuff that he's family was involved. That's right So it's got nothing to do with hate. Yeah, it's got to do with pointing in a fun aggressive way Yeah, he was just so happy. So filled with exuberance that he had to zygmire. He had to. Which, I mean, again, and I'll say this, and I mean this, and like, again, there's nothing wrong with the hand movement in and of itself, right? If you separate the hand movement, it could be throwing a bird.

It could be throwing a rock. It could be- But no, but didn't you have to have a closed hand? I guess that goes out. You might be right. You might be right. It's a bad throw. Everyone knows classically you throw like a football like this. Main thing is, you know what's a good hand motion for politicians? I feel your pain. Little thumbs. I see. I like this one. This is a jerk off motion.

Yeah, but that's just what they do to themselves and to everyone at home and to the constituencies that they pretend to work for. Well, they got to do that And they do the foot tap. Yeah Like it's not the zig-haw. Oh Mussolini used to do it and you're like Obviously we're now a part of the smoke screen that they like to use like this is a whole thing Because also the zig-hile was based upon the Roman salute, so it was literally it is a natural extension of the Roman salute Yeah, it's all just it's just bad optics. You know across the board, so I would just say and also just be really careful about Standing next to a Nazi or being anybody who wants to be next to Nazis because those guys need to be gotten rid of

Yeah, you're standing next to a Nazi is always a chance. You'll get shot. Yeah, I think you gotta be careful I know that okay because it's a bad look Yeah, it's a bad look and I but I do want to remind our listeners if you see a Nazi you punch it in the goddamn face All I know is I'm never getting in a Tesla. Never I only drive American. Yep. I only Fuck these pieces of shit, but hey, we're not gonna turn into Jimmy Kimmel No, I'm not crying every day for the next fucking four years. I don't give a shit. No, right? So we're just gonna move on he is very successful. He's doing very well Yeah, if we did turn in the Jimmy Kimmel our lives would be great. Yeah, sure. Of course

I'm just saying if we chose that I she's not gonna cry in front of you. Oh no. As a listener I want you to laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're just gonna- I cry alone. Yeah, oh yeah. Or in front of my wife.

No man, I don't even cry in front of her. The only person I cry in front of is my personal banker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I go to the bank. See I cry in front of Julie and I make her throw money at me. You see that's what makes you feel better. Yeah, she takes it out of your wallet and puts it back and then you can put it back in your wallet and you're just like, it's me. See, that's what makes you feel better. Yeah, she takes it out of your wallet, puts it back, and then you can put it back in your wallet

and you just like, it's nice. Yeah, because you cry when you lose money. No, that's the thing, but then you can cry, or you stop crying when you make money. Now, a lot of other news happened this week. There's a lot of news happened this week. Yeah, what happened this week? Did anything, were you involved in anything?

Let's say, okay, I'm having a ridiculous week. It has been, so obviously there was big news. On Side Stories today, I will say this is a vaguely light news week because apparently there was a presidential inauguration that happened. So it sucked the news cycle all the way up. But in the middle of that, I'm sitting in the airport in Detroit. A brand new documentary. No, I had no idea Yeah, no idea that this was happening. I

get One text that was like oh my god, Henry. I'm watching you naked and I was just like Where's my money? Yeah But you're like I was like, what are you talking about? Because I will obviously I was like well on Technically, I've been nude you're on your right now. You're currently nude on Three platforms now. Yes Netflix the characters. I'm nude. Yes, and YouTube I'm nude and now This penis penis, but just peacock. Yes peacock. It's penis So I found out in the most hilarious like I just can't even believe my life Yeah, that I was featured in the most hilarious, like I just can't even believe my life,

that I was featured as the number one refused audition for SNL. They said this thing about how they went over about outrageous auditions or whatever, right? And then a producer for Saturday Night Live, Lindsay Shookus, presented my audition out of nowhere. Looks like Lindsay took us. She's a fine lady, she's fine. I just got a face like a knockoff Gucci bag

She's very she does have a mean thin face her head should come with hand. Yes But she in regal life. She's fine, right? She's fine She's I and so we a lot of people ask me questions. I All of a sudden my inbox explodes with my audition, was put into the 50th anniversary documentary series that charts how the show gets made. Congratulations. Yeah, that's great. That's amazing, it's a big thing.

It's on piss penis. It's really crazy. Okay, the reason why it's crazy is because all the pickups. I got Time Magazine likes, you see what they said? Oh yeah, dude, it's Time Magazine, People Magazine. Also, if these motherfuckers are going to be talking about you in their goddamn magazines, mention the podcast. It'd be nice if you just say podcaster, but like say the name of the fucking podcast,

Time Magazine. The only thing I would take umbrage with the coverage of my audition in the documentary series. Where's my press? Exactly. Exactly. But the only reason why I took any, at first I was like, oh my God, but it mostly was just because it felt like they introduced my auditioner

and then it sounded like I just died, right? Like I never did anything ever again. They really made it seem like you were just like a forgotten human being. And I am, but I also still act and I still perform, I'm here, right? I am still here no matter what anybody says. And it's, but it's, now I've like kind of absorbed all

and I am just so tickled that this fucking happened. Yeah. There's a lot of fucking coverage and I had a lot of people ask me if I wanted to like, you know, we were doing things. I asked, like, should I talk about this and my process? And I figure I could for a couple minutes, right? And I just, cause the only thing I really want I talk about this in my process and I figure I could for a couple minutes Yeah, right

I just because the only thing I really want to talk about is even how I got into the place of having An audition for Saturday Night Live. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean what she said about it was she said when someone comes out and doesn't Get a laugh. It's the worst feeling because it was like I picked these people. Well, I think what is she did she pick you? No I picked these people. Well, I think what she did she pick you know so the long story is Maybe how do I do this shortly and and succinctly? Kept it in the bag for so long They open the bag because normally on the show we have content to talk about. Yeah

So now this is me talking about this thing that happened to me. It's wildly Experienced you are in the news. Yeah, sure. So I'll talk about it. This is a new show. So, anybody, so... Saturday Night Live. ...in order to get anywhere involved inside of the systems of Saturday Night Live. So like maybe just an example is that the night I audition, they audition you at night. And I'm certain they went over this in the documentary. And this audition process has been gone over a bunch. Yeah.

People have talked about what it's like to go through. It's purposely very harrowing. With this one thing that Lindsay shook us sort of the way that kind of puts it kind of how do you it kind of removes the context of the writers are told to not react. Yeah. They are they purposely don't react. That's the whole point right is that they want to see you cold obviously There's political stuff inside of these rooms where you could see if some you know

The faction of writers might be buddies with somebody or know somebody or want to be somebody they might throw in a couple of laughs I might just to kind of pump them up, but it's political the goal is to be like impress me cold It's live do it. It's very yeah, it's like a doctor's office. It is very, it's very intense. And at the time, I thought I did well. That's why I took your clothes off. Yes, I had to. But honestly, I will say, is I made the sound guy laugh,

which is how I knew I'd got something somewhere. And then I was also, I was on hold for the entire year. You remember that year? No, it was insane, because I remember when you actually did the audition, Holden, Ken and I were at like a bar waiting for you to get done. Like it was good fellas. Yes It was a great for you to get made. It was the scariest night of my life. Yeah, I was very very young I was very green and so for Saturday live to get on their radar

You normally have to work at some established comedy theater. That's a way it goes about random motherfuckers Not necessarily but and it's a lot of places they have history, so obviously Second City in Chicago, in Toronto, there's Groundlings in LA. Now, like especially more modern times, when I started really getting into it, it was like UCB became a fast way in because of the Amy Poehler, Tina Fey connections.

But they would also kind of go around and they'd scout, they would pick up some standupsups when they wanted stand-ups They go look for stand-ups It's really depending on what they're looking for and at the time Saturday Night Live not to be surprising was looking for a white man Yeah, and so I was one of them right this is the truth so I was one of the these people But yeah, were you the fattest at least of course thank God Who's gonna do that? Who's gonna take that for me? Of course. Thank God.

Who's gonna do that? Who's gonna take that from me? But I went, so one way to get in is to potentially work for somebody that works for Saturday Night Live ahead of time. And so I mean this. I was very young. It was 2010, January 2010, and I was on my maybe third pilot audition ever for a show called Beach Lane that was written by Paul Sims

who did news radio and it was going to be the return of Matthew Broderick. It was the old time. Surefire hit. It was to be Matthew Broderick was coming to television. That was like the whole thing. It was Kristen Johnson from Third Rock from the Sun. Nick Thune.

Nick Thune, Amy Garcia, these great actors. Great guy and Nick Thune was great. Now all these guys were great and it was this, it was the pilot of the year because it was produced by Lorne Michaels and Marcy Klein Broadway video. And we had no idea what this was gonna be. So it was a network pilot. And I mean this, this is the, this has never happened since.

Besides my audition for Wolf of Wall Street, where those are the both of the easiest auditions I've ever had was that Beach Lane audition and Wolf of Wall Street where those are the both of the easiest auditions I've ever had was that Beach Lane audition and Wolf of Wall Street. Crazy. Both were just easy. I don't know why. But that one, I remember walking in there, it was raining and I was a mess.

I was disgusting. It was the middle of winter. I came in, I was all wet. I was all discombobulated. The audition was only five lines long. I walked into the room and for reason, me and the writer clicked. Me and Paul sends me a click because I did a thing where I was like, there you are, Peter.

I was doing a bit with him. I forgot what happened. And for some reason, they hired me almost on the spot. They went and they took my tape, and they tested my tape, which is a thing that doesn't normally happen in networks. And my tape went through a whole process without me having to deal with it and it was I got this amazing part and I think what happened was that I was so young and dumb and naive because most show business people you gotta understand people that

you know that are famous yeah they've been acting since they're fucking three yeah they all been in LA they've been in New York they've been doing things I'm arriving for the first time into quote unquote show business at 25, right? Which is actually kind of old. Which is funny, right? It's old to join show business. And so I get this part, and because I had no idea

what in the living fuck I was doing, I really think it helped me to crush it. So what you don't know is that in these scenarios, especially these network sitcoms, very, very high level, a lot of money is being dumped into this, right? They retrofitted an entire studio inside of the Pennsylvania Hotel in New York City. They made a studio for it. They built it. It was crazy. So much money. You don't understand that every minute you're being watched and every minute you're being judged and they're ready to fire your fucking ass the second that you don't fit and

I at first didn't think that that was real until I watched the original lead of the show get fired that day who was much more Famous than me and much more famous than Nick Thune who replaced him. He was a famous comedian I don't want to name him Yeah, he got fired from that show who was like the from after the first read-through And so you're like so wild. But at first you just don't understand. You're like, oh shit. Oh, you can get fired at any time. Yeah. For what seems like nothing and nothing just being the improper fit. So, but the thing is that it didn't phase me yet. So I didn't fully grasp that.

So to be honest, I did extremely well. I did really well during the all of the various levels of the readings. Yeah, I went in front of a live studio audience and I felt at home. I was in front it felt like doing murder fist I was just doing essentially live comedy in a taped area and I clicked there was like a thing Right. I was like, you know that you were like, wow, I can really do this like network television So my thing I can do I have the timing for it and you ended up doing network television multiple times it but the producer of that I Had the one most dramatic nights of my life was after the pretty shoot of that We went upstairs So we were all hanging out and what's fun about show business is that feels like they're secret places

So I get invited up to a secret area where we could smoke inside Yeah, cuz especially back then everyone smoked oh yeah it was like you and that was where you got shit done and how you got like gigs was just by smoking cigarettes or hanging out with the cigarette smokers that's just how it was and one of the executive producers looked at me and said how would you like to be on Saturday Night Live and I was like you know it's a dream no I don't want it. Fuck yeah. But now I know that's truly powerful.

Yeah. Saying no is powerful, ladies and gentlemen. And you have to remember sometimes because it can make everything else turn around. You never know. But at the time, I was like, absolutely, because this is when when I got Beach Lane, I was on unemployment. I had to I remember taking food from craft services home I'd have to go and take the grove all the granola bars and all the snacks and I'd have to jam them into my bag And I have to leave and I remember all the time when it's like because we'd go out like I hung out with Matthew Broderick three or four times. Yeah, it's got fucking lays potato chips in your bag and granola bars

But but Matthew Broderick's like hey, you want to go out to dinner tonight, and I'm like I Don't know how to tell you mr.. Broderick. I cannot afford to be anywhere You would have to be you to get it. You know it's who we took us out a couple times It was actually really nice, but I was like I was fucked you didn't get in the car with them though. What do you mean? I? actually drove He pushed the pedals and I went by them. So that's how I got even into the world. And so I was picked by one of these executive producers and it's just important for you to know that everything that happens on the 8-H stage does not happen on accident. My audition was ran several times. They all had my tapes. They knew you were doing exactly... every word you said they knew was going to come out of your mouth.

They saw MurderFist. They did a bunch of stuff. They'd research you. They know you. They know you extremely well by the time you hit that stage. They knew you so well that they knew hold it in a night. Yes, because we also works is because we were total outsiders, which you find out is a bad word in show business because we were total outsiders. I thought find out, it's a bad word in show business, because we were total outsiders, I thought they were gonna be so excited to welcome me and my bros to that back writer's room

and they were gonna be so thankful to have these three renegade fuck faces in there and they were just gonna lay the red carpet out for us. It didn't work out like that. No, but that's like the stooges joining the Beatles. Yes, we didn't know. You know, like it's not gonna happen. It's the Yankees, the Yankees of. Yeah, but that's like the Stooges joining the Beatles. Yes, you know, it's not gonna happen It's the Yankees the Yankees of yeah, Dallas Cowboys. They are of comedy But I just want to say honestly that's kind of I guess as far as I can go the audition itself

It's just funny cuz they knew what I was gonna do Yeah, and I came out and I'll always remember more Michael's favorite bit was the naked bit Oh, I'll always remember that was the specific note. He gave love the naked model. I like it when you're naked, but he also That technically what he'd The note that I got back the reason why I didn't get on was because the label that what they said was we don't do you Anymore yeah because Chris Farley died and John Belushi died and they were scared you were going to fucking drinking to cocaine to death. I also think that to be honest, it's the vibe of

the show change the vibe and what they want to stop like it started like that's when Saturday live went from being silly to only saying things that are politically correct and current will it's basically more current events-based, impression, hardcore impression. Which they don't even let the cast members do anymore, which makes me insane. Why would they?

Every time there's a new fucking impression to do, they fucking, they bring in some A-list actor instead of using the cast that they fucking hired. It would have been a nightmare if you got it, man. I do think that it is extremely stressful to do do it if I were to do the audition again I would change but I maybe what I did not in terms of just the other things around it But you know, I there's a term in comedy that you learn One of the things I you learn right when you start start off in doing acting in show business

Is that all my managers and agents when I first started they'd always ask who's? The who's the version of you that you want to see like they go like what career? Model yeah, you want to follow and you can Orlando always Guys said but he said to me like it was always asked these questions So like obviously for a long time it was Chris Farley besides the death Yeah, you know and but in within comedy teachings They have things that they call it I can want to see goes back to like Comedie del Arte shit

We're like one term was sloppy clowns and that's what I was. I was a sloppy clown, which is not derogatory necessarily It just is an energy thing and it was a thing that they sort of liked before You would award as a badge of honor or someone called you that back then yes And this was in on Saturday Night Live, especially at the time, it was more like, they just kind of weren't going for that angle. They were going for very clean cut, people with that style of, like,

they can go straight from this to a Revlon commercial to a network sitcom, and it's like, there's no alt in there, except for recently, Sarah Squirrim, who I think is a genius. Yes. But these like, these guys are are but otherwise I this is hilarious It's just hilarious that it's like this if you want to know anything else about this felt I'll tell you anything you want to know I forgot that I did the little bow. Yeah, I

Forgot that I did the bow. I just believe Lindsay shook has came after you like To me like that's fucked up cuz Cause that's not me. Like it's the ultimate, no offense. It's the ultimate punching down from a gatekeeping powerful person. And like that fucking shit pisses me off. I just please. They're like, like looking like a fucking, I've seen prettier things flopping around on a doc. How long do you think it took for them to get the hook out of her mouth before the interview? All I'm saying is now I'm happy. I'm happy it happened. It's crazy that it happened. It made me realize like, I mean Natalie, you know, it's unfortunately backhanded compliments

are the only ones I normally receive. Yeah. And I like them. And I realized that that that's me and every single thing that I tried to destroy about myself or change about myself That I wanted to make like somebody else is why I have this job now and why I have this life You've made your own life So that is what I not just that after that you get you you become the star of a television show I got directly after that you get wolf of Wall Street you're in a Martin's Course Daisy film. It's fine buddy it's just funny.

But then they're like sitting there pretending like you're a nobody you're a CEO of a million dollar company. They just don't it's fine. It makes me so crazy. It's because we're below we are below them Eddie. The f**king stork that delivers abortions f**king talks to you about you like that. We're just slightly below them and I don't care because you know what? It's nice is that I got so many

Beautiful messages. Yeah from listeners from co-workers people. I haven't heard from in a long time I got a lot of really so I'm actually I'm extremely thankful this happened and it's fucking hilarious Yeah, and I've took it sort of feels like a revenge It sort of reveals like it feels sort of feels like well in the end You had to include me. I did see some the only Lindsey shook us. I have no problems with I now I got information I talked I talked with some people. She's it was not meant to hurt me. It was not to be upset Yeah, it seems like she was just being nice. Yeah, I was but that's how like suicidal parents act You know when they pick in their feathers off

I just want to say in the end. It's really nice the people who reached out to me It was really it was really fucking wonderful, and you know what this kind of brings it around. That's my shirt You're wearing it might be you're looking in the audition shirt you're wearing it might be you're looking in the audition But I you know, it's just you know, whatever man I will say I saw some mean things will someone want a writer once wrote about my audition But didn't name my name in one of the big Saturday Night Live think pieces like try to trash me But that's just cuz writers are jealous of people that are naturally charismatic yeah but everybody else is it's it's good I want I'm extremely utterly thankful like

this is fucking crazy man this is me and I think you know what this brings us to is David Lynch yes because I'm not comparing myself ever but the idea of I was listening to somebody talk about David Lynch and the one thing they said was that the center of his happiness So David Lynch walked around cigarettes. He was yes. He loves cigarettes. Don't ever eat No one loves cigarettes like he loves a girl. No wonder he wrote an ode to him on his deathbed We viewed him there a part of the art life It was like a way for him to stand out But what they said they were like, yes, they believe that meditation was one big key

to David Lynch, but Laura Dern said something that I found interesting. She's, I love Laura Dern, and she said, David had a serenity that seemed to come from his ability to express himself artistically without even once thinking about what somebody thought about the piece. He never thought, like he never thought about what the judgments would put on him. The only things he thought about was the

receiver, what he called the receiver, was the person that watched his work. That is the reason why for so long when people, there are all these memes of people saying like explain Eraserhead, explain these things and him saying no. Yeah, no. Why would you, you fucking come up with it yourself. You're a part of the, with Lynch movies, you're a part of the story when you're watching it. And with David Lynch, he made movies very similar to the way he painted. And what he said was like a long time, was being like, just straight up like, I don't

get why you want me to use words to talk about a visual medium. Like why do you need me to try to explain something that's all in there? And it's for you to pick apart. And there's something about like there's something in there. He struggled to make Dune because Dune was pushing him into a place he didn't want to go. They were forcing him to be a mainstream director.

Cause also he's told to. This acting is very similar to the SNL thing. But he's told to be one, right? He's told that this is the way to go. That this is the only way to go. When I went to Florida State University and got my stupid BA in theater, they never talked about, there was any,

the way that they talked about acting was essentially, you're never gonna make it. They said you weren't gonna make it because you were too big. Everybody. All they did was tell acting students, they never explained that there's so many ways, there's so many ways it's not just being a movie star, it's not just making IP for a major studio, there's so many ways for you to make art in a professional sustainable way. And you see David Lynch probably got suited with slapped with this shit. He's being like,

well, if you really want to go, you need to fucking do a big one, which is like Dino De Laurentiis. He did that shit because he essentially he produced Dune. And then he then after the catastrophe that was Dune, he gave David Lynch permission to do blue velvet because he said you can go do whatever he wants And then he shows up with blue velvet and so now I start to understand that Which I think Ira Glass also said to take it's all the things that you kind of Maybe don't like about yourself and your work Because it doesn't look like somebody else's work and you want it to look like somebody else's work and you want to kind of take away those differences because you want to be like somebody else but you don't understand that's it's those are the very things that why somebody likes what you do.

Yeah. Versus why they like what that person does and that David Lynch was such a good example of like you know everybody who likes David Lynch kind of felt like that's my director, I think, I think a lot of people felt like well I have a personal relationship with David Lynch that you don't have because the art itself, you have a personal relationship with. Because it's like, you know, he took everything like, first of all, like overacting was good acting with him. Well, it's about him. You know, like, and I love that shit. Actors work colors on his palette. And unlike Wes Anderson, and this is some shade, where they appear like props and mannequins, he let them live inside of his world.

He just taught them the rules. And that's what he would do. If you ever listen to him direct, I love listening to David Lynch give people directions. It's all just being like, ah, you're gonna want some wind in here. Put some wind in it. I love shit like that because he also trusted actors unlike Wes Anderson

He actually trusted actors because they would do a lot of something. I love Wes Anderson. I just think that Wes Anderson It's like well now is a parody of himself. Yeah, you're gonna have people do it this way Just use fucking it should all just be animated because you obviously don't care about a humanity Like you don't care about an actor living in there his animated films are great They are I actually think now they're better than his live-action movies Because they just they don't have anything There are many heart even a soul just like a pretty thing. It's just pretty and it's like well I do believe that has its place. It's not really for me. I like David Lynch because

He's trying to lose me. Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't care. He's like, you catch up to me. I watched lost highway this week and I've been, I've been going through twin peaks, which is an odd timing to be doing that. But I watched lost highway in honor of Lynch and man, it doesn't make any sense. No, I love it. It fucking slaps Fuck it. It's the best. I think you're all in drive I think blue velvet is this capital B best movie mole hole and drive is his actual best movie. Yeah Lawson I would probably put lost highway right underneath that Obviously Twin Peaks the return is his ultimate piece of art. Yeah, that's your favorite That's why I'm rewatching it because I need to get to that

The thing is is that I also feel like Twin Peaks the return you don't really get anything out of it unless you've watched every single Piece that he's ever made because it's all in there. You seen rabbits. I don't even I mean I love rabbits You know the rabbits do no you should look up right his rabbits thing is fucking really fucking weird I never even heard of it. It's a long piece. Oh, okay. It is a 42 minute piece. Okay. That he made. Featuring these rabbits living in

this weird liminal state. Oh, okay. And things coming at. It's awesome. Oh, I'll totally watch this. Dude, no, you gotta see rabbits. Cause you see some stuff in rabbits that actually shows up in Twin Peaks to Return. Interesting. Same thing with it's all of its fire walk with me has stuff from Twin Peaks to return There's also stuff from he has he there's little fire walk with me is Twin Peaks Yes, but fire walk with me is crucial to watch Twin Peaks to return

Yeah, I was waiting till I finished the second season before I did fire walk with me that seemed like the right move Yes, watch it all together I obviously Twin Peaks dips in the second the middle of season two, but that's more mark a mark frost problem than a David Lynch problem Well that yeah that exactly that was the producers who made him solve the murder Because they said they wanted him to be something that he wasn't and then what he did with Twin Peaks the return Was lovingly tell us all to go fuck ourselves Because why do you expect something out of me? Yeah, like you should be here man. Just come fucking watch this thing

This is gonna be like to a big super turd was so exciting because of it You know what I was enjoying this week was his music dude. He's wild I was listening to his music a lot while I worked this week and it really kind of like put me in such a fun Weird state he'd also make his own props. Yeah a lot of silly there's pieces in all of the movie I don't know if you see it There's some background footage from Twin Peaks the return of him making some stuff randomly So he'll just like a seven-hour doc from that. Yes. It's on the DVD collection which is great

Also get his stuff on DVD because the transfers it's not except the criterion collection the criterion app is fantastic. Yeah, go live on that I live on that shit, but he did all of this stuff. He makes a bunch of his own weird-ass props He just likes doing everything that he's just the he's just was a he was pure creativity and the world is less That he is gone from it And so the goal I think is for somebody out there some young person out there to become next him Yeah in a way that challenges people. And it's not just empty. I feel like anyone could.

I mean, you're not even allowed to anymore. Well, now it's- No one's gonna give you any money. You have to have the fucking prestige behind you in order to get that shit. I think it's time for this shit to fucking stop. The chicken dinner scene in Eraserhead's one of my favorite moments in film.

I just think it is. It is truly great. We gotta start making a right but guys Let's try I think the one motive we're gonna one motif. We're gonna see you over the next four years As a we are on our own. I don't think a part of that is to you got to make Stuff that you want to see in the world if we want to wrestle Yeah, the attention span away from these giant tentpole pieces of shit things that are going on because they don't care. It's all just Chinese propaganda.

All right. So at some point we need to take the reins back. We have to take them back. They're doing it in Hollywood. They're doing it in horror. Yeah. With independent horror. Very much so.

Well, horror always follows the, you know, like how it always follows the world. You know, like how the purge started during the last election, you know, and stuff like that. You know, or two elections ago. You know, it's all like, it all mirrors society at all times. But if you don't bank on yourself, there is no one, no one will. Yeah. No one's coming. There's no cavalry. There's no, It's you. You have to do it. It's up to you. Also, if you make something and it's not successful, oh well, make something else. There's an axiom we're trying to do at LPN. It's called fail faster.

Fail faster. Move it forward faster. Get it out. Because, yeah, everybody's got attention span problems, but honestly, I think it's just because they want good food. And if they don't get it, they're just slurping it down. That's why everything's called binging all this fucking horseshit is that it's slurping down slop. And it's like, no, David Lynch made food. There's reports where Netflix is like making television so you can be able

to like look at your phone while you're watching it so you won't miss anything. That's just depressing. That's what I'm talking about. That is super depressing. Now we're talking about David Lynch, you know, I just wanted to give real quick shout out. Garth Hudson also passed away. I know we love the band. I love the band. I love the band is by if you ask me who my favorite band is, I usually say the band Garth

Hudson is the last surviving member. The oldest crankiest one was the one that outlive everybody. That's how it goes. He was a man. Yeah. If you ever watched the last Walter and let that he's the long haired bearded crazy looking scientist dude. He's playing like five keyboards at once. Yeah. He just chest fever. One of my favorite songs. Oh my God. He's so fucking good. Garth Hudson. He was amazing. I love him with all my heart in the band. When he, when they asked him

to join the band, he wouldn't, he didn't join the band because he couldn't explain to his parents that he was joining a rock band. So he charged them all and everyone join the band because he couldn't explain to his parents that he was joining a rock band. So he charged them all and everyone in the band $10 a week to pay him for music lessons. So he told his family that he was a music teacher and not a rock and roll star. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's, he was that kind of guy and he was very insular, very a private man. And you were amazing Garth Hudson. Thank you for everything seriously

Um, but alright, let's do one do a couple stories before we do the fucking what I got one more thing We got a new show new side stories. Oh, yeah. We're in Huntsville. Yeah Huntsville on March 16th. It's a Sunday. We're gonna be in Huntsville, Alabama, right? That's that's two days after our Nashville show at the, at the Ryman. So make sure that which is going to be on the 14th of March. But yeah, we're going to be in Huntsville, Alabama at the VBC Mars musical. And I want to say right now NASA fucking com for it, bro. You want some fucking, you're coming to your town, bro. You got no excuse. you come for fucking my boy. I'm gonna ask you questions about the fucking moon

Fucking Lindsay shook us, bro. You ain't shit, man Honestly NASA, please come you'll put you on the list. Yeah. Yeah, if you want to come we'll put me three side stores LP Come on. We'll make three side stores. L P O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T O T But I know we also have a dog fucker this week We're not talking about it, but you just know he they call he's a man from where and you know And they call him a wereman and he's trying to be a werewolf. That's my only joke discuss and I'm staying away from it But that's there is a dog fucker. We're not talking about it But because we have to talk about this another family annihilator, so I the only reason I'm even bringing this up It was because if I read about the the The reason I'm even bringing this up it was because if I read about the the Again, yes, Clifford Hunt jr. 19 He shot his father Clifford mother Michelle and a 16 year old brother all in the head and the brother little brother

Who's the one who called? 911 that it was happening. Yeah, and then he killed himself, but the One thing that blew my mind. Do you know that every five days a relative kills a relative in America? That's pretty yeah, that's actually you know that every five days a relative kills a relative in the United States of America? That's pretty yeah That's actually you know Forever how much everyone hates their family. I don't think that's that bad every five days now now does this count for 20 days cuz Four people were killed. I think that's a part of no. It's just kind of throws off the average, okay? I probably bumps it up to four okay. Yeah, yeah

I think it's one of those where it bumps it up now what i do find interesting why thin was like this is right outside of pittsburgh and i was just in pittsburgh which was called his balls also shout out to the chefs over at river's casino straight up had one of the most delectable short rib wedding meals i've ever had but i'll'll tell you what, skip the wheelhouse. If you're at Rivers Casino, don't eat at the wheelhouse. I saw a mouse and it was not cooking. And it was, but it was in the kitchen. So you know what they say about eating at casinos?

What? The mouse always wins. Ha ha ha, funny! Funny stuff, I thought you were gonna say, oh it's a gamble. Oh yeah yeah. No, what's um? I didn't make Saturday life. No, you didn't know we did now. Well sorta. Yeah, so on a peacock fucking documentary No, then I looked up right cuz I wanted to see how far it was from Pittsburgh But one of the chefs of they did a great job I met you today while we all money

One of Natalie's first students in her dance classes. She taught this little girl dance now She's a full-grown adult and we want her to get married. It was very very sweet. Wow, but thank you buddy still dance Yes, how was the first dance? Actually, they did a very it was choreographed, it was lovely. It was a lovely time. Yeah, it was nice. Now I looked up where this family annihilation happened though, and it was at North Seward Township, Pennsylvania. Now I thought these were outside of Pittsburgh, but then I clicked on it, and what I loved

is that when I Google searched it just to see, this is the first thing that popped up. This is the only picture of North Seward Township that ever showed up. This guy. Oh yeah. This is the only picture on the Google Maps account is a man sitting against a rock with a bandana. The most pencil tucky man you could possibly see. It's just a man with cargo shorts.

Just wearing shorts to the inauguration in a hoodie. Hashtag fucking mood whatever. He did great. He did great. These fucking pieces of shit. He shouldn't have shown up if he fucking wanted my respect It wouldn't have been but like but these guys look it's just so funny. That was just I just looked at Pictures that is the only picture from smoking a cigarette North Swickly Tonship. He's got there. Yeah, he's got a weird Yeah, you got that's a big old bandana. He's got yeah And you know what? He's enjoying a cigarette just like a good old lish like sitting there doing nothing putting the board and board shorts

I'll tell you what you know who loves cigarettes Pittsburgh oh my That is still they are Smoking yo, yeah I love love in Pittsburgh I want to you know I've only hung out there once and I was I went in thinking okay This is gonna be one of the worst cities I ever go to it's not and I really liked it. No, it's beautiful I really enjoyed it. There's a heart in Pittsburgh. It's beautiful. I love that unfortunately that heart is you've caught french fries

Yeah, I have from slam but permany brothers. I love my permany brothers. They open one in Florida Don't eat there. I mean I'm gonna go if I don't eat the four to walk from Annie brothers I mean what it's not if I'm in Florida There's not like this fucking sucks. It's always supposed to be in Pittsburgh. I mean, it's you know, I'm sure it's delicious. We'll see Fucking see oh And this is the only other little main thing I really wanted to look at But it was you done with the family and I'm done with the family nation. That's all I have That's all we have. Yeah, we don't really know everybody's dead. Yeah, the family's gone Yeah, I just really wanted to talk about that shocking statistic, which is ridiculous

But I wanted to talk about this now Guys know we love my UFO footage. Oh, you love this now I'm only showing this footage to you Eddie because I'm finally starting to see like this one was the first one I saw where it's like I think that this one is stupid Now this was a big deal now News Nation which is you know it works out of Australia One of their main correspondents is a man by the name of Ross Coleheart Yeah, Ross Coleheart used to be on 60 minutes Australia. He was a big deal like he's a he's a real Investigative journalist and he was a part of the guy. He was the first that did a big expose with David

Grush. Like he's now. So you love this guy. I love this guy. This is also a guy who's totally legit, just like George Knapp, who was driven utterly insane by the material and is now stuck in this. Right? Yeah. And he says that he received video. Now, part of what we've been talking about over the last couple months is about, was called Immaculate Constellation, which was a program inside of the Pentagon that was going out and- This is pre-drone.

This is pre-drone. So this was the, there was a UAP retrieval program that was a top secret program that would send people out to supposed crashes. and it's why the United States of America might have 12 UFOs, right is that that we've scooped them up from various parts of the world. We When's that number 12 from that's years ago, right? Well, we don't know we actually really don't know We don't know if that's old info compared to the new info David crushes that's when he started talking about new info. How long have you known the number 12?

David Grush. That's when he started talking about this last year. Okay. It was David Grush. Now, what Ross Coleheart, who has been sort of the tip of the spear of this whole story, he finally received some of this footage. One of the big issues, right? You remember when the big UFO conference, they do it in front of Congress.

Yeah, we talked to Knapp all about it. They said on that one was that we have terabytes of 4k UFO footage that would blow your mind. Right? That's all they said. Did they show one? No. They show even a clip of it? No. No. Right? But this is the stuff that I guess they have decided to leak to Ross Coleheart. Now they have sent what he says is a man has sent him information, a man that has said under the duress of his life he thinks he will be murdered okay if he they find out where the source of this leak came from and what we have here some of the most definitive footage of a UAP being airlifted by a helicopter. Okay. NewsNation has independently obtained previously unseen video obtained from a secret UAP craft retrieval program.

This extraordinary footage clearly shows an egg-shaped object dangling in a sling below the belly of a helicopter. Now, here we can shut the sound off here. Now, the problem is, is that it says here you can see clearly an egg-shaped object that is 25 feet long in a hammock being suspended by a helicopter. Yeah, it's rolling around. Unfortunately, when I look at this footage, it is extremely difficult for me to not say that is an egg on a stick. Yeah.

That is the problem. Yeah. The problem is- The shadow's big. Not necessarily, because this could all be shot in miniature. It's true. It looks like the end of a stick with a piece of string. It does.

With a napkin wrapped around an egg. And that's my problem is that, yes, cause now you're gonna hear, cause Ross Coleheart begins to describe the egg. He's like, as you can see, he's completely around. No doors, shripe like an egg. You know, and you're like, it does. It's EU-AGP. Honestly, I want that in a brunch menu.

It's just, I never doubt. And this is the first one I saw where it's like, so is the disinformation now? Is this when the disinformation? So it's saying here that it's not- It's going to turn out being the only one that's real. Yeah, I know, I bet. It must, I hope so. I pray, I know I bet

If you look at it, it's just it's so hard because everybody's just Raging on this on the in the comments. Yeah comments. It's just people are destroying News Nation over this and I guess that's what's hard is that Is is like Ross? It's not helping us. Yeah, this shit's not helping us buddy. Okay. Yeah, wait for a better video. This is not If we couldn't just a second if he could just separate himself from the excitement for a second just to be like Now how is just not an egg? You know, I mean if you could have just said that being like because he keeps saying egg-shaped craft How does he not know how does he how does he know that that's not an egg? Well, he had better footage, but someone poached it from him that doesn't make

No, why I didn't get Saturday nightline my connection to you is why But it doesn't make me sad yeah, the want this to be better yeah the oaks on him The oaks on all of us He may crack the case No, no, you're right, but no this just makes me sad because it's like I just feel like he should have if he was gonna literally blow his wand, it should not have been on this egg. He does look like a pile of egg whites himself. He's just an older Australian man. And he

just seems he's but he's a very important journalist. Yeah. Well, what comes first, the baby or the egg? Because I got a story here. I think that technically the baby eventually turns into the person that comes into the egg. Well, in San Antonio, a man who was formerly an egg is now charged in a road rage shooting earlier this week

is also accused of trying to purchase a nine month old baby to harvest their organs according to San Antonio police. What was the problem? Is it his car not go through? Is that what it was? And they cut him off? I got this off of FARC. Jose Israel Taron Jr. 21 is charged

with the prohibition of the purchase and sale of human organs in addition to one count of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon from Monday's shooting. Police said that on December 30th, 2024 Tehran was mistakenly added to a group text message of a family of family members discussing the details of a nine months old baptism. So all right, so he did not know, all right. So he did not know the family. No, he did not know the family. There was a group text. They accidentally add this demon to it.

How did he? How? How? Because he has the same, the uncle had a phone number and he changed his cell phone number. And then this guy randomly got the phone number. And so, and those, and the uncle's number wasn't taken out of the other person's phone. So he was added to the, and he said, and then he responded when they were talking about the baptism. He was not a part of the family respond. He's like, that's a nice Caucasian baby. How much you want? And they said wrong number.

And then they tried to block him. No, thank you, sir. Thank you for the offer, sir. Don't thank you. So one of the family members blocked him, but then he was texting everyone else still because they didn't know how to block him. And then he said, are you interested in selling? I'm willing to start a bid at 500k.

Now, we find out which family members deleted the number or later on 600k 25 he was willing to meet the same night No, absolutely Maybe now buddy. I need a tiny liver. I need little lungs I need something to hang for my rearview mirror He also threatened that he knew the address of the church where the baptism was scheduled. And he also knew their home address because it was sent earlier in the group threat.

I mean, that's their mistake. Yeah, that really is. That is their mistake. Oh, here, I like this. Here, I'm going to take this. Okay, this is the first. This is the first text. Good morning and happy early new year.

I am attaching an invitation to blank baptism. No person to attend. I just wanted to invite everyone the baptism will be at blah blah blah We will be we will attend to the noon 12 noon mass and the baptism starts at 1 30 We'll have a light lunch and refreshments to follow at our house afterwards. Hope you can make it Then he said Much you want for it? Yeah, the wrong person Definitely a text I would have said like if I was drunk and I received this Text I would have said like if I was drunk and I received this It's been like you know come down over there with my slap chop. Are you not interested in selling?

Attempt to buy the kid I know but the thing is he sent it and they took it serious Joke it is a joke, but he also did shoot somebody days after. I really feel like that's the crime here. I really think that's the issue is the shooting the car. Yeah, he shot into someone's car, the bullet went through the door and into the person's leg. Yeah, I think that's the issue here. I think this is kind of fun. Interpretive, like, you know, he's just having fun. He's 21.

Bring some kind of levity around, everybody's so serious. He got hit by a semi truck, and then he shot into a semi truck. I think he's been, I think he was upset. It's Texas. Texas, they're all. Can't wait to go to Dallas. Oh yeah.

Oh wait, if you bring in a newborn and just listen to any newborns you wanna bring them by, $500,000 for just their organs. No. We can put it all together. We're not. I don't have that. We all can put it together.

I was gonna mortgage my house. Oh, okay. And then what we'll do is we'll buy two. Two babies. We'll get two babies. And then what we'll do is- Well, Texas have so many extra babies because they can't kill them anymore.

Because the thing is, yeah. And I think the thing is I think this way, we can get two for five. Absolutely. I think that'll be easy. Yeah, because we all know that like after they're born, they're worthless. Yes, especially in Texas. Yeah. Yeah Just ask the police officers in Yuvalde Sorry, sorry not sorry, it's literally exactly what happened

We will see you there yeah, February 22nd We will see you there. Yeah, February 22nd. Oh grand prairie. Whoa. I love I love Dallas. I can't wait. Here we go We got some listener images This is our image Let's hear him last time I asked about what could possibly big a pig's motivation to kill a woman. Okay And besides just you running besides hate resisting arrest in cell. Oh in big No, this is a Love it is unanimous listeners love Baldur's Gate and want to know who Henry kissed first of all its shadow heart

No, it's a goth obviously a mark Marcus also asked do you need to tell you that he had sex with Laysl? Laysl just a she's a alien. Yeah, just like a good You know what that is. Yeah, all I know is two Kiwis make an apple and what my fruit game? Oh sure sure sure Yeah, that's what I play. I play the fruit game. Yeah. Well you go kiss some fruit. I guess I will go kiss some fruit I'll be plum happy about it. I hope you are yeah, no fucking suck on some berries. Yeah, I do every morning I know you do I do now berries every morning. I hope you are. Yeah, no fucking suck on some berries. Yeah, I do every morning I know you do I do now too berries every morning. Yeah, you I know I modeled your Your fight to be healthy. I just eat when your doctor told you to eat. Yeah, I'm dying. Yep

So here I asked all right so about the pig attack while reading what I saw printed about the issue All right, this about the pig attack while reading what I saw printed about the issue. This is the one I Found this interesting if the pigs were kept as pets by the neighbor your producer that chimed in was likely correct The pigs had associate had associated people with giving them food And when the woman did not give them something they got pissed off and attacked her Oh, I'm a to pig always feed a pig, especially if it's wearing a last podcast on the left hand Myself but honestly, we like we want you to wear that's mm-hmm now Oh the if the pigs were from a commercial farm

It is likely they escaped during a rag that a rack tak to pimpin pimpin Racked up aamine feeding cycle. Ractopamine. I don't know what that means. You keep saying that word over and over again like I'm going to know. It's a feed additive that is used because it promotes muscle mass growth over the production of subcutaneous fat in pigs without reducing the intramuscular fat. Cool.

So these pigs were on creatine? Yeah. They were getting marbling. Basically, functions for pigs like anabolic steroids do for human bodybuilders and just like steroids do for people there are significant Psychological effects interesting cool big farmers I know basically consider it a suicidal act to enter a pen with pigs while they are being fed Rectactoprine so long way of explaining it as possible. The cause was roid rage piggy Wow Fucking kind of just don't I'd love to see a jacked

pig I mean you do yeah whoo I mean technically that's what we jacked pigs well when we eat pork it's a lot of it you think so unless you're eating like good pork meat I have started eating better pork meat that's what I try to I've really I've been trying to get off the trying to get off some of the red meat it's hard yeah yeah but you if you spend more money on it, it's easier to get off of it because it becomes a sometimes treat. It does. And then it's better when you actually have it.

Well, my thing is, I'm no longer, I like making steak for myself, but honestly, I'd rather have somebody else make it. Yeah. At this point. Where if I'm gonna eat it, I want a professional to make it. Yeah, if you're gonna cook meat, it's usually just a bunch of lamb. I make a lot of lamb of man. No

Baby sheep is safe. I close to the browse. I fucking suck one's blood if I could yeah, I love lamb Fucking I do yeah, not a lot of lamb. I like chicken thighs mm-hmm. I love chicken thighs. I had some for lunch That's my favorite my favorite style of meat. It's chicken thighs chicken thighs. Oh, yeah Hawaiian chicken thighs amens. So good like salmon salmon It's literally everything I've eaten the last couple days at once except for tofu. It's good for us I have also I've read I don't know if this is a this might be a RFK jr. Thing, but I think I've heard that tofu if you eat it soy products Actually helps you not get you know that weed disease that makes you throw up when you smoke it Oh tofu makes me get higher. So you gotta tell me all it know is that soy?

Products will help you from getting that Reaction really this is what you're talking about this cannabinoid getting that reaction to weed. This is what you're talking about. Yes, cannabinoid hyperemia syndrome, the thing where people start vomiting when they smoke weed. Sometimes I'll start sneezing if I smoke too much weed. That's different, it's because of smoke. That's happened to me sometimes.

You smoke, you get sinestros. But that made me worried, I was like, I better not becoming allergic to weed. But if I can just start, now I have a reason to eat tofu. Do. If I get higher, well why don't get higher it just stops me from getting the cannabinoid hyper nises syndrome you got close on that one yeah but I'll do yeah I mean I would have gotten it by

now no tofu I don't say no it's Google Google says no but who knows you know Google doesn't really know yeah I think it might be actually might have just I probably just overheard that at a Bus stop okay, well now I'm not eating tofu again. I mean it was good. No not apparently It's not good enough to stop the weed disease Why don't you live every day to figure out a way to make tofu in a way you like it and then you can eat Tofu and you can love it and then when you're loving the tofu you can laugh your way to the bank because what you're doing Is saving yourself some issues because you found a good meat alternative that doesn't raise your cholesterol. You know what I like about tofu is you're supposed to beat it.

Yeah. You gotta kick the shit out of it. No, you're talking about mochis. No. Yeah. Tofu, you pulverize it. No, you don't. Absolutely not.

My cousin Robin pulverizes her tofu. And it was delicious. That's disgusting you're watching your cousin pulverize her tofu. Yeah. She's like, Andy, come here, I gotta show you something. That's disgusting you're watching your cousin pulverize her tofu. Yeah. She's like, Andy, come here, I gotta show you something. That's incest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you pulverize tofu?

How do I give tofu more favor? You have to marinate it. Mmm. You have to marinate it, and also, you know what's also really good? Unfortunately. What? What I like to do is I like to cut up my tofu

into little cubes. I give it a little sprinkle of cornstarch, right? I put butter and a little oil in the pan. And then what I like to do is I like to cut up my tofu into little cubes I give it a little sprinkle of cornstarch right and put butter and a little oil in the pan and then what I like to do Is cook it on that with a little salt and pepper you put butter in there Yes, and then also what I do is shave a fucking I put lime zest lime zest. Yes You're wrong. Oh, I'm telling you. I don't like the lemon zest the limes extremely good It's more it's lemon zest and lime zest. You just don't know the lemon zest, the lime zest. It's extremely good. It's lemon zest and lime zest. You just don't know. It's very good.

It's that citrus kick without adding water, so it doesn't dilute what you're making. I like lemon on seafood, and that's the only time I want lemons involved in my life. You'd be surprised. Lemons stay away even harder, Lime. I figured out with lemon. I figured a lot of things with lemon. Limes attack us. Do you know about that if you cut your hand and lime juice goes into that cut and then that cut sees the Sun

You're fucked what happened to my boy Yeah, like Mike this are you are we both talking to RFK jr.? But he's pretending to be like a sexy lady cutting up limes with keys on the beach for our coronas We were cutting up limes with keys on the beach for our coronas And it's stuck in there but then his Open wound of exposed to sunlight after coming in contact with the lime juice margarita burn Yeah, this entire arm was turned different colors I think he was actually working with you at the time at borders and then they made him move out of the cafe into the Normal part because like you can't give people coffee with that arm

Yeah, yeah, you look disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, let's see Well, I forgot felonski work with me at borders. Yeah. Wow, what a small fucking I don't remember anything No, well, I remember everything except for what I'm supposed to remember. Hey If you can't remember you can't bother you and that's what's the most beautiful thing about dementia. Who are you? Uh, I couldn't care less who I am Remember you can't bother you and that's what's the most beautiful thing about dementia. Who are you? I? Couldn't care less who I am It's been a quite an episode of side stories. Yes, and I want to thank you for being my partner. Mm-hmm an ass Entities patreon.com

Give us money watches perform. We're all in there get get ad free episodes. Pretty good. Social media at LP on the left. Thank you president Trump for bringing back our Chinese propaganda machine. Oh, thank you for bringing back. Thank you for taking it away and giving it back. Thank you. The pimp that beats us and tells us how nice the bath is. And nothing I love better than that app that makes every person in my life scared for no reason. Thank you. Tick-tock totally worth the advertising opportunities. Go and check it out out there and go to twitch.tv slash LPN TV where we are. We will still be doing a lot of commentary about whatever we want for the rest of our fucking game. HGX two tomorrow night, January 23rd 6 p.m. Pacific 9 p.m. Eastern. We got a great judge Jared Logan's come. Oh, he's gonna be great. Yeah, he's gonna be eviscerating. Yeah

And we got Ariel from fraudsters Wonderful, and then we got tootsies making her first appearance. Oh, that's sweet So check it out. You want to watch tootsies are Helen Mirren. Yeah So check it out you want to watch tootsie's are Helen Mirren. Yeah I've been going to last podcast in the left calm to check out all of our live dates because we're really good at it I'm gonna see out there. Yeah Dallas on February 22nd Nashville on March 14th and March 16th. We're gonna be in Huntsville doing the side stories and then April 18th We're gonna be in Detroit and on May 3rd. We will be in Toronto and then of course June is our rescheduled

Atlanta shows cannot fucking wait. You gotta get me to Atlanta. Oh, we are stopping It's you're gonna like it so much better this way. I'm gonna like it more in the summer. I know it is hot I know I like it more in the summer. I know it is hot. I know But I know it's hot. I lived in Tallahassee. It's not hotter than Tallahassee But we're gonna stay in a hotel with a pool. Oh, we stay at a hotel in a pool Yeah, it's gonna be fucking people out in their bathing suits. I know everyone in Atlanta super hot. Yeah, it's very attractive town Yeah, it literally is a I do think that it is an extremely attractive town I was like everyone here is hot. Yeah, like the publics people work work at Publix are kind of hot. Yeah. Yeah, it's great

It's fucking oh yes, we think of Publix. Yep Fuck yeah. Yeah, dude. I'll take you to my Publix in Atlanta. You own a Publix? No But there's one I claim So often I've been there. All right. All right. Hail sweet Satan everyone and hail David Lynch! Lindsay Tookus. Oh, that's nice. Oh, you just made fun of her name. Oh, and it was Shookus.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make fun of her name. She's honestly, thank you. Lindsay Shookus. No, honestly, you gave Henry some press and he's gonna get some more acting jobs out of this. Honestly, you really did. I can't, I can't buy that. Yeah, and I know.

So thank you. It really meant a lot to me to honestly, now that I've processed it and talk with my Family and all this country. It was like It is wild that I got to be a part of the 50th anniversary whether I liked it or not Yeah, and it's amazing. It is fucking crazy. You were at the Academy Museum when I went to the Academy Museum There was a there was an exhibit on score Stacy's editor, and then you popped up of course Let's be surprised how many places I snuck my way into without not getting permission Yeah, and and Lindsay. I'm sorry. I said all those horrible things about your appearance, but in my defense

I was just trying to hurt your feelings absolutely. She's a beautiful lady. She does her job, but then honestly And thank you to everybody who's awesome right you fuckers