Lateral with Tom Scott - 74: 122,667 miles

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

Ella Hubber, Caroline Roper and Tom Lum from 'Let's Learn Everything' face questions about cycling coercion, hoovering hacks and disproportionate drinks. LATERAL is a comedy panel game podcast about weird questions with wonderful answers, hosted by Tom Scott. For business enquiries, contestant appearances or question submissions, visit https://lateralcast.com. HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. RECORDED AT: The Podcast Studios, Dublin. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: Arwid, Robert Risack. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott. © Pad 26 Limited (https://www.pad26.com) / Labyrinth Games Ltd. 2024. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Spring is a great time to start a new workout routine. With the weather warming up, it feels easier to get into the rhythm of things. Whether you have 20 minutes or an hour for a Pilates class or an outdoor guided walk, Peloton has everything you need to help you get going. Get a head start on summer with Peloton at onepeloton.ca. When flustered one morning, why did Jane put some stockings

on the end of her vacuum cleaner? The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral. Welcome and thank you for listening to Lateral. Your download means that we are one step closer to our goal of beating the relaxing white noise podcast in the charts. Although, when I read out the questions on this show,

I often hear hissing noises too. Let's meet our guests. It is the return of all the team from Let's Learn Everything. We'll start today with Ella Hubber. What's up, Tom Scott? Normally I ask a question at this point, don't I? Normally I tee you up with something, I just send your name. But now we ask you a question!

This is the last one we're recording in this block, and there is, as there always seems to be when y'all are around, this kind of just chaotic end-of-term energy. That's what I said last time, I'm saying it again now. It's going to be one of those shows. Tom Lum there, chiming in. And how are you, Tom? How are things?

Holding it together. Holding it together. I saw a thing the other day that said, you know, how are you? It's like, absolutely terrible. But for the purposes of this conversation, I'm fine. How are you?

I'm delighted to be here. I'm like, I got called a kiss-ass last time for being nice. What's this? In the very last word said on the show, I did my outro, and there was just a quiet kiss-ass that came at the end. Please welcome someone who is making defiantly sure they're not a kiss-ass, Caroline Roper. Hello there.

How are you doing, Caroline? I'm doing so great compared to everybody else, apparently, so can't complain. All right, well, it has been a while since you're on the show. Your show is Let's Learn Everything. Let's see what you've learned since then. Yeah. Good luck to all three of you. And for those concerned by Tom Lum's enthusiastic performances on Lateral before, please be

assured that we do have our usual oxygen tent and resus unit on standby. Let's see if we can make it through question one safely, which goes like this. Thank you to Robert Ryzak for sending this question in. In which sport can you cross the start line many times if you want, but can't cross the end line? Say that again. In which sport can you cross the start line many times if you want, but can't cross the end line. I just want you to know, my mental picture was like a 100-meter dash, but then when you said you can't cross the end line... No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. What I saw was when you said you can't cross the end line, just a brick wall appeared at the end line. We've actually, I think, had that question on here before, and the answer for that is that it's certain types of swimming races, like relays, where you very much cross the start line, but actually the finish line is the wall of the pool, so you can't technically cross it.

Right. In this case, it's not a swimming pool, and you can cross the start line many times if you want. And is it just one person crossing the start line each time? Or is it a team of people? It's not a team sport. If you can't cross the finish line, then how do we know when the thing is finished? That is what I'm thinking.

I'm also still picturing the runner on the 100 meter line. And they run and they go, can I take that again? One more time. Are we just going to go back to the start? Can I go real quick? Okay. This one's better. It's like, nope, one more, one more, one more. I'm thinking of a wall of some kind, but also, do we know if this is like an esoteric sport, or if this is a regular... Did you say Olympics? You will all know this sport. Oh, time for some listing.

This is not the bog snorkeling championships. This is not the cheese rolling down the hill. This is... Oh, disappointing. This is a legitimate sport with an international... Cheese rolling is a legitimate sport. Okay, I feel like the minute I said legitimate sport.

This is a... It's the sort of sport that has an international federation and that sort of thing. Okay, okay. I guess that counts, sure. Okay, you can cross the start many times. So is it something that you could maybe redo multiple times but like you've got to pick your like preferred time only and you can only pick one or something like that cross the start many is it

like a thing that doesn't have an end like race car racing maybe like technically you you're across the start line that definitely has a finish line but if it's like a loop then it's the start you're crossing oh i see this finish line is the start line as well no because that's like there's so many races yeah yeah i'm just like is it a race do we know if it's a race oh Oh. I never said it was a race. Oh! Okay. That's good. I said it was a sport. Yeah. And it's not a team sport. Start line. I'm thinking maybe like a shot put, is that what I'm thinking? Something where there's like a line that you can't...

But there's a start line and there is an end line. Yes. Are those just like the names for them, maybe? So it's like uh i'm trying to think like if they were like the like the net and the backline in tennis or something like that i'm thinking maybe something like a long jump or a triple jump where you have multiple goes crossing that line but the end is technically no one's ever gonna reach that oh yeah there's no end there is an end but it's too far you only reach it when you you're exiting after you've done your jump or something. You don't cross the start line many times there.

You're kind of rerunning when you're doing that. Yeah. You can cross the start line. So it's during the same round of sports that you're doing this over and over. And you can cross the start line in either direction. Oh! Is it the classic game of bulldog in the school playground? No.

I'm putting a question mark on the end of that because you're thinking more along the right lines of what sort of contest it is. A bulldog? No. It's not even close to that. But if you played the same version of bulldog that my

school did, it's weirdly closer than any of the racing things you've mentioned. I hate that I'm weirdly close. That's really annoying because I feel like that's made me even less sure. Do I? Is it? Should I know what that is? Is that a regional thing? Oh. Oh, yeah.

Okay, does someone describe Bulldog for the Americans? Well, the way we played Bulldog was to stand in a line on either side so you have line of kids on facing each other we called that red rover i think oh and then you run at full force towards each other trying to get through good to know that's universal just a different name yeah yeah yeah like football, is there like American football, like the end? I don't know. A start you can cross. Is it a physical line?

Yes, it is a physical line. Okay. I think the key thing to take away from the Bulldog reference is that they're facing each other. Oh. Fencing. Tell me more. Oh, doi! Am I correct that you start... You have like a starting line, but you can move back and forth around it?

Yep. I don't know about the end line, though. Would that disqualify you? Their line, the line on your opponent's side, you can't cross for some reason, because it's off the grid, off the playing field. Yeah, so it's called a pieced, the playing field. The starting line is the on-guard line, which is just far enough apart that the swords, epes, the pointy things can't touch.

It's legal to move backwards and forwards across that en garde line as much as you want. But if you go over the end line at the end of the piste, by putting both feet behind it, if you've retreated too far, then your opponent gets the point. Ah, that's clever. I do wish you had phrased it at the start. You can cross the en garde line as many times as you want. That would have made that a little easier.

There is a reason I didn't say finish line. Because it's not. It's the end of the piece to the end line. Oh! Yeah. That's good. That's good. Over to Tom Lum for the next question.

Whenever you're ready. You can buy three similar drinks at a bar in the Philippines. Over to Tom Lum for the next question. Whenever you're ready. You can buy three similar drinks at a bar in the Philippines. The single shot of rum version costs 60 pesos. The double shot is 50 pesos. And the triple is 40 pesos. The type of rum and shot size is consistent. What is the reason for this? I'll say that again.

You can buy three similar drinks at a bar in the Philippines. The single shot of rum version costs 60 pesos. The double shot is 50 and the triple is 40 pesos. The type of rum and shot size is consistent. What is the reason for this? I have a really good guess and I'm worried that I'm right, which sounds so cocky. Here's the thing.

So do I. Oh, I'll start, which sounds so cocky. Here's the thing. So do I. Oh, I'll start then. Is it the type of liquor? Hey, hi, Caroline. How are you doing? What's up? I was going to say, is it the type of mixer

is the more expensive of the drink? That's what I was going to say. That's what I was going to say. Oh, we got it. Is that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. it. Is that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay.

You both really backed yourselves. I was really like, this can't be it, can it? Do you know what drink it is? We all successfully worked out the first bit, which is that the mix is more expensive. It's a shot of rum and some more stuff. But as someone who doesn't drink,

I'm probably not going to be that good at working out what this drink is. Is there another alcohol in the drink? There used to be a thing at a bar in York called the Hell Shot, which got banned by the local council as like a condition of them getting their liquor license renewed because it was a shot of basically everything they wanted from behind the bar with a bit more absinthe poured on top. And it was not cheap. And it was just basically a lot of pure alcohol.

And of course the students ordered it all the time on dares. That sounds like the most student-y thing I've ever heard, to be honest. That's a universal story, Tom, because I went to university in Sheffield, and in one of the clubs there... Of course in Sheffield! No, sorry, there wasn't a slight on you for Sheffield. I mean, it was a slight on Sheffield.

Like, of course I've existed in Sheffield. I take both offensively. But they had a quad-vod drink, so four shots of vodka, and the council was like, you cannot do that anymore, so they just did a triple with a shot on the side. There were a lot of legends about it.

I never actually saw anyone order one myself, and I didn't have sensible friends so tom lomid looks horrified over british drinking culture right now it is horrifying i just love the the creativity of the drink math and and i will say i feel like now at first i thought you guys might have had this right away but now i will see and also the best part about this is the more creative drinks you come up with, the more bars that are listening can make these things. So if you come up with these lateral drinks, that's a great idea. We still need to work out why this mixer is so expensive.

Yeah. Does it have like gold leaf in it or something? Gold leaf? Oh, that's Jägermeister, isn't it? Doesn't that have gold? There is a liquor with gold leaf. There is one that does, yeah. I don't think it's Jagermeister. Something else has gold leaf dissolved in it.

Huh. Is it like a champagne or something really annoying like that? It's like a spritz with a... I want you guys to be creative for a bit because you got a head start on the first part of this. All right. Is it like, you know, some crushed up rhino horn? Is it an alcoholic drink

that somebody who does drink might drink a bit more regularly or is it something a bit more obscure? Oh, yeah. Because if you're asking us to name every substance, we can try that.

We can go there. That's fine. Tom Scott's joined the list side now that these tables have turned. I don't want to give too much away, but yes, you will all have heard of this drink. I don't drink a lot of rum-based cocktails. No. So I'm going to find this tough. It can't be rum and coke, because I can't see coke ever being that expensive.

Is it rum and coke? Even if you're trying to import the proper coke that has sugar instead of... Okay, if you're thinking about cocaine now, then that's very different. That's how my brain was going with that one. Maybe it's that it's a really common drink, but the mixer is really hard to get into the philippines it's illegal or or it's a very high cost of importing it oh that's such a good point so is it like a more high percentage like spirit of some sort

no it isn't in fact it's a zero percent and you guys have, if you piece together all your answers, you've said it. Coke is really expensive to get into the Philippines. It sure is. That's crazy. How expensive? Or rum is really cheap. It's a combination of both. Both? Yeah. Yeah. So you can order a glass of rum and Coke containing one, two, or three shots of rum. However, Coca-Cola is a relatively expensive import and costs more than the rum itself. As the single rum and coke only contains one shot of rum, the rest of the glass has to be filled with cola,

the more expensive ingredient. That's really interesting. Wow. When you said champagne, Caroline, I was like, yes, the champagne of sodas. Good luck, folks. Next question. Jackie's car had traveled a total of 122,667 miles over its long life.

Having waited for this exact moment, she did something to the car that would give amusement some days later. What did she do and why? I'll say that again. Jackie's car had travelled a total of 122,667 miles. Pens and paper coming out now. Yep. Over its long life.

Having waited for this exact moment, she did something to the car that would give amusement some days later. What did she do and why? Upside down, it smells boobies. Two episodes in a row. Two episodes in a row. And they flipped the car upside down so that it would be... Could you just say the number again, Tom, please?

122,667. Yeah, it's not like 42066 or something fun, you know. I assume it has to do with the number. I mean, obviously, this isn't the question. Or it could be a total, but it could be a total, it could be something completely, do we know the make of the car? Make of the car doesn't matter.

Okay. All my brain is giving me right now is that they stuck googly eyes on in some capacity to make your face and i can't move past that so i have to say it out loud just to get it out there you know is this is this isn't roman numerals again is it because i can't go through that this isn't like the last one this is not not roman numerals i promise you saved us a few minutes minutes of frantically trying. Although I am now trying to think of any car manufacturer that I can spell out with Roman numerals.

I can't quite find one. But also, this isn't the final number, because the final number is going to happen in a few days' time. Oh, for God's sake. Sorry, the producer has just yelled Civic at me. Thank you. Yes, that's... God, your team, wow. It's fast, it's sake. Sorry, the producer has just yelled civic at me. Thank you. Yes.

God, your team. Wow. It's fast. Big props to the team. Ten out of ten. So what's coming up? So what? Yeah, is the number, is she going to change? The number itself is important.

Is it a reference to something? Is it a reference to a date? The only, the first thing my brain goes to with mileage counts is the scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where they think about going in reverse. So I don't know if it was a reference to

that or something. It's not a reference to that, but you are thinking along sort of the right lines. And this is the only time in this car's mileage that it could possibly be. It's not like, oh, it's going to have 69 on the end of it. Ha ha ha, funny. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

It's the only time that you could do this. 100, 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Keep talking. 7. No. 8. No. 9. 10. three four five one two three four five six keep talking seven the question keep thinking out loud about that not does it just go one two three four five six no it's a sequence of numbers that is that is funny and did you say that they put something on the car to make it amusing no they did something say that they put something on the car to make it amusing? No, they did something to the car. They did something to the car.

So, Tom, you've basically got it. What do you do at 122667 if you want to line that up? You drive a certain amount of numbers to make it 123456? Mm-hmm. A little bit of arithmetic. If anyone wants to do some quick maths on this, can figure out the difference between them. Oh, no, I don't. No.

OK, given... I will be your calculator for you, because you've basically got it, and I'll tell you the difference. It drove 789 miles? Is 789 miles exactly right, which means in total you get? 123,456. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. And underneath it... And underneath it...

789! Whoa! Okay, that does not deserve that level of respect. Because they drove 789 miles. Tom, you've got it. You reset the trip counter at 1, 2, 2, 6, 7, You reset the trip counter at 1, 2, 2, 6, 7, and you will line up for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0. You will get the full sequence.

Ella, over to you for the next question. The candelabra tree is a species of screw palm that grows in tropical parts of Africa. is a species of screw palm that grows in tropical parts of Africa. Why might a farmer be delighted to find it growing on their land? I'll say that again. The candelabra tree is a species of screw palm that grows in tropical parts of Africa. Why might a farmer be delighted to find it growing on their land? Is it something about how fertile the soil is? So it has to be really good quality to be able to grow that? Soil is kind of something.

Does it mean that they have soil full stop? They have soil. Yeah. I think all trees need soil. It only grows in just ideal conditions. Just the perfect... It's a complete jerk of a tree. It's the equivalent of that houseplant you've got

that requires exactly the right amount of water all the time. I'm looking at that houseplant now. Yeah, I know that feeling. And meanwhile, I'm, of course, looking out at my candelabra tree. It's doing pretty good. Another foot, it grew. Wow, that's amazing. Nat, Tom, I know you don't have a candelabra tree because you doing pretty good wow another foot it grew wow that's amazing tom i know you don't have a candelabra tree because you wouldn't be here new york city

baby it's it's concrete and pigeons no that's all is there is there something with the candelabra tree are you giving me a hint is that what's happening maybe oh oh okay. Is there a hint in the name? Is there like a... Because it's a very distinctive name. Yeah! Is there something about the tree that makes the tree very valuable? So like they could go and sell like the leaves or the fruits or something like that? Yeah, that was my second thought, yeah. But if you did that, you'd farm it. Yeah.

But if it was that valuable, you would just take some cuttings, plant some more. Could this be like a near extinct species or something like that? Yeah. But if it was that valuable, you would just take some cuttings, plant some more. Could this be like a near extinct species or something like that? There's a reward for it from the botanist society. Can it, if you take cuttings of the tree and put it into the soil or like dead leaves or something like that, does that then increase the fertility of the soil around it? I'm going to say the tree has no special properties itself. I mean, it can be used for some medicinal purposes, but that's not anything to do with why you would want to see this tree.

Is there like a regional law or something related to this? Like you, or I guess, I forget, someone said if there was like a reward or something for finding this tree. Is it native to this like you or i guess i forget someone said if there was like a reward or something for for finding this tree is it is it native to this area a superstition some luck it's a it's very real what it's very real the delight that seeing this tree would bring is a real tangible thing it's not a superstitious thing it's a this will actually cause a benefit yes but they find it growing is it very small very big i guess you said nothing special about the tree necessarily the property no is it the mode of seed transport that's important so like the animal or the like oh is it yeah like like a civet coffee kind of situation

going on maybe with the soil? You said soil was a hint. It means that it's been transferred by some interesting animal or valuable animal that you now know is in your area? No, you did valuables. That's a good word. But it's nothing to do with animals. Sap is pure gold.

No. Wait, Ella's eyebrows. I shouldn't. My facial expressions are giving things away. I need to cover my face. Is it about where it grows? The soil? It grows where there is...

Is it about the sap in some capacity no no it's the tree there's nothing special about the tree Tom you're on it it's the soil it's valuable

or it's it is not valuable or it grows over something valuable is it likely to grow over minerals or yeah Tom

is it like those trees where truffles grow underneath them or something like that you are on the right lines oh Tom? Is it like those trees where truffles grow underneath them? Or something like that? You are on the right lines. It thrives in a very particular type of soil.

Does it replace nitrogen or things like that into the soil? No. I can't think of anything more than truffles. Is it something artificial, like minerals and gold? Like actually? Is it actually gold? It like minerals and gold? Like actually? Like is it actually gold? It's not gold. Diamonds? It's a way of telling that there's some mineral underneath that you might be able to mine. Oh! Yes. It only grows where... Right, so you wouldn't plant it

just all over your land because... Because then you can't see it, yeah. But randomly, there might be... So is it diamonds? Does that mean there's going to be diamonds below it? Yep. The Candelabra tree indicates the possible presence of diamonds. Wow! That's really cool! So it thrives on sites containing the igneous rock kimberlite,

which is the result of volcanic eruptions. And volcanic eruptions push diamonds hundreds of miles up to the Earth's surface. So the tree's indicating that that land contains diamonds. That's so cool. Okay, here we go. Victoria was on her bike in Spain when a German cyclist forced her to ride along the Cote d'Azur, somewhere she didn't want to be.

After stopping a couple of times, the German woman had left upset, while Victoria was very happy. Why? Say that again. Victoria was on her bike in Spain when a German cyclist forced her to ride along the Cote d'Azur, somewhere she didn't want to be.

After stopping a couple of times, the German woman had left upset, while Victoria was very happy. Why? Were they... Was there something to find on this route? And Victoria got very successful in finding it, and the other woman was, like, really annoyed that she didn't have any luck. I feel like there's significance to the fact that the woman is German. Oh. That doesn't feel...

In Spain also, I don't know if these areas... Do we know the nationality of the first woman? Does that matter? It doesn't matter to the question, but we do know the nationality. Okay. But the nationality of the German woman was important for some reason so and i'm trying to think what what the bike has to do it makes me think something there's something to reach or something to travel very quickly there's something to cross maybe it could be like a a crossing. But also, the other woman was there to be annoyed at this.

So I'm trying to wonder, like, what, was there a race? And also, like, she didn't want to go? What's it called? The Cote? Cote d'Azur. D'Azur. Is this, I don't know anything about this area of the world, unfortunately. No.

So the German woman warned Victoria not to, or... Forced her to ride along the Côte d'Azur. Victoria didn't want to go there, yeah. But they were on a tandem bicycle, so they have to get together. It's not obviously not right. I made a face like, huh? Oh, is that it? It was just such a wonderful image. Imagine the person behind you just being like, you? Oh, is that sick? It was just, it was just such a wonderful image.

Imagine the person behind you just being like, you gotta go, keep going. It's like, no. Did Victoria not want to go there because it was unsafe

for some reason? Yeah, that was a... It's not unsafe, but it's somewhere you definitely don't want to go. Reputation-wise? Like, you wouldn't want to be seen there for some reason? Was the German woman, like, playing a trick, or genuinely trying to help?

And Victoria was happy at the end. Was Victoria happy at the end because she was proved right? Yes. About it being bad? Yep, Victoria was in the right here. Okay. Did Victoria, like, take a tumble, and then was like very smug on the way back, like, told you so. No!

This is interesting! But there is that sort of thing going on here. Yeah. They were chased away from the area due to... from the area due to... anti-German sentiment. I don't know what I'm saying. I will say that the Côte d'Azur is not the famous one in France. You said it's in Spain.

I did say it's in Spain. Wait, so the German woman thought that she was going to the famous Côte d'Azur in France and then realised that that's not where they were? Oh no, they both knew exactly what was going to the famous Côte d'Azur in France, and then realized that that's not where they were? Oh no, they both knew exactly what was going on. I'm just saying that when I say Côte d'Azur, it's not the one in France. Okay.

Okay. Was there something unsavory on display in some way that the German woman didn't realize she was going to see? Not in this case, no. Oh. Neither of them were really going very far oh i'm picturing it in my mind don't you must go on this path oh i don't want to something happens something happens ha ha ha i'm happy oh and i'm upset you Great. Your mind's eye picture is almost certainly wrong because this is a very trickily phrased question. Oh, okay.

Could you... Oh. Oh. No, it's one of these. Okay, could you do it again? Is that my... Is that my... Yes, let's focus on the words.

Victoria was on her bike in Spain when a German cyclist forced her to ride along the Cote d'Azur, somewhere she didn't want to be. After stopping a couple of times, the German woman had left upset, while Victoria was very happy. Why? I feel like that didn't help. No. Are they... they're on their bikes and they're riding them.

Yeah, I'll give you that much. That's definitely happening. Okay. Brilliant. There's not a word in this question that's a lie. It's just omitted a few things. Is it like indoors or something? Could it be like a not a typical road? Oh.

Is the Côte d'Azur maybe like a boat? Oh. Or like a plane? No, unfortunately, but indoor. Definitely right on this. Oh, okay. Your picture is missing one key fact about this. Why might they be cycling?

Could it be a racetrack? It's a velodrome. It's a velodrome. Are they racing? No way. Did this person say like, you should join in this race and then they ended up crushing them?

Oh, not quite. Did she come second? Not quite. And Victoria came first? I'll give you the situation again. Victoria was on her bike in Spain when a German cyclist forced her to ride along the Cote d'Azur, the Blue Coast, the Azur Coast.

Why didn't she want to be there? And why might she have been happy at the end? Is she famous? Yes. Victoria is Victoria Pendleton, the noted British cyclist. Oh. Oh. Did Victoria, like, show up, the person,

and take all the attention away or something like that, maybe? Or it was like, like a, no, I don't want a bike, but then when they did, was it like a relay or something? Was it a, um, a biking competition? What's on a cycling track? Have a think about the velodrome. It's curved banks. It's banking curves. Was Victoria in the race at all, or was she just... Yes. Yep. So was the German woman. Okay. So they're both in the race at all? Yes. Yep. So was the German woman. Okay, so they're both in the race.

Did they knock the other person over or something? Did they bump on a... Did she push her into a certain part of the track that she didn't want to be in? Yep. Did she take up a lane so then she had to be on the outside lane or something like that?

I think you're close enough on this one. I think I'm going to give you that. The Cote d'Azur is the lowest part of the track. The blue part where you are not allowed to go. It's the out of bounds area. So now you've got that connection. What happened?

So... Oh, she forced her onto the out of bounds area. Oh, oh, oh. And then she got disqualified or something? Because that wasn't allowed. And the German woman was disqualified because she clashed into Victoria, pushed her onto the no-go area,

and after an investigation... Oh my gosh, forced her onto... Victoria got the gold medal, and the German woman was disqualified. Nice. That's good. That was a well-worded question. That was a well-worded question.

Wow. Caroline, over to you for the next one. Let's do it. This question has been sent in by Arwood. Eccentric Chinese warlord, Zhang Zongchhong chang displayed his fearlessness by sitting in his own coffin and smoking a cigar what resource problem did he have when he promoted his entire army and how was it solved i'll say that one more time the eccentric

chinese warlord zhang zhong chang displayed his fearlessness by sitting in his own coffin and smoking a cigar. What resource problem did he have when he promoted his entire army and how was it solved? He didn't have enough cigars for them to smoke in the coffins. They were all like, we're doing that too.

That was badass. That was banging. Let's have more of that. Resource problem. Every word of that, Caroline, was not what I was expecting. Let's have more of that. Resource problem. Every word of that, Caroline, was not what I was expecting. Wasn't it a delightful one? Thank you so much, Awud, for that question.

How does smoking in your coffin as an eccentric warlord solve this resource problem? Sorry, he promoted his entire army. His entire army, yes. And just to be clear, this is promoted in the terms of increasing their rank and not just giving them some this is promoted in the terms of increasing their rank

and not just giving them some advertising. It is in terms of increasing their rank, yes. That he didn't have enough medals for them. Rank pips, stripes, something like that. Ella, you're spot on. Yeah. So yeah, it is because they didn't have enough medals. Okay.

To be promoted, what does that have to do with smoking in a coffin? That's relevant, right, I assume? That's such a good question, Tom. Oh. Was that just a cool fact that you wanted to tell us? So the resource problem is the medal. Uh-huh. What could possibly be used to replace that? Or what could be used to fill in that gap

in the resources? Gold coins? Chocolate coins? Coffin linings? No, a more sensible suggestion than chocolate coins, Ella. How many cigars you have you can smoke is your rank. You just get one of those cigar cutters and cut the cigar into many, many circles. Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on. This might be too eccentric, but could they like burn you with the cigar? Oh, no.

Is that going to get ranked? I'm horrified and in love with that suggestion. They're eccentric. They're an eccentric warlord. Is it to do with the coffin stuff then? The coffin stuff is less relevant. The cigar stuff, on the other hand.

Yeah, the number of cigars in your lapel. No. How can you make medals or make something that stands in for a medal using a cigar or using a lighter or using something that will leave you with a thing you can give out as a medal is it a physical thing or did they just like trust each other they're like he's

so cool i trust him now he probably knows look at him he's in his own coffin they definitely were not trusting each other here they needed those medals wait so they got the medals did they steal the medals

from like graves or something dead people once again it's not dead people why do I say it in such an excited voice

dead people yay dead people occasionally on the show people come up with taglines by accident lateral it's not dead people isn Occasionally on the show, people come up with taglines by accident. Lateral. It's not dead people.

Isn't that what they think? Want that shirt. Medals. I feel like I've pulled my weight in this question. Tom's getting there. Wait a minute. How big was this army? Is this like four people?

Or is this... No, it was a considerably sized army. He's got to give all of them a medal. Could there have been like a... Also, is this something like... Like violent happening is the answer? Or is it more on the like resource management answer it's like nothing nobody was getting like stabbed or killed or maimed or marked in anyway get the branding thing out of your head for this one okay because i was thinking maybe you just like kill like a bunch of the people, then you have enough medals. But it's just a resource thing.

Oh. Yeah, the issue was probably that they weren't killing people here. Just throwing that curveball in. What? Sorry, is the answer dead people in that he just killed some of the army? No. Once again, no dead people involved in this once again no stop trying to steal my answer is it um so cigarettes were pretty commonly smoked among his armies is it like what you

could smoke determined your rank oh yeah cigars could be uh okay oh that's a really good suggestion did cigarette packets used to come with something that could be used as a medal like the like the oh my god the foil from cigarette packets yeah they use that to make medals oh my god they have foil medals yeah you are absolutely spot on there well done ella pulling the weight of everybody i know my chocolate coin medal thing wasn't that far off right i had i had to put it down because you got the first part of it so quickly that it was like no we can't we can't have this we've got to but yeah you are absolutely spot on they ran out of rank stars or medals because every time that zhang zhong chang defeated a rival he would absorb the troops of that rival into his own ranks allowing them to keep his ranks but in

order to like prevent rebellion from his own soldiers everybody in his army would get promoted okay meaning that they didn't have enough of these medals or stars um and because smoking was so prevalent among chinese soldiers they used the silver and gold paper inside of cigarettes to make these stars basically oh dear this is a really fun fact um many of the officers would notice that their rank their prize their their medal would not even survive until the end of the promotion ceremony. So because it was made out of these really thin papers, it would disintegrate. The last part of the show then.

At the top, I asked, when flustered one morning, why did Jane put some stockings on the end of her vacuum cleaner? I will also translate this as tights, for those of us who use stockings as a word for different things. Pantyhose, if you're North American. Any quick guesses from the panel? Should we all say it in unison?

Oh, have you all got this? Is this... Yeah. I feel like this is... Wait, I don't know. Wait, I don't know. Do you mean you don't know? Surely you know.

Is it to gather the dust? To collect the dust at the end? Surely you want that to go into the vacuum cleaner. Yeah, but lateral. But if you didn't want something to go into a vacuum cleaner, Tom, but you wanted to use the vacuum cleaner anyway, you might do this. Oh, to like scare a cat or something? You're doing your job. You're doing my job for me, Ella. Thank you.

Caroline, Ella, tap it home. It's to find her keys or something like that. To find something like jewellery or something that she's lost so it gets stuck into the pantyhose tights, stockings, without getting sucked into the vacuum.

We have contact lens as being the thing that would be best to find. That's absolutely right. Congratulations to all our players. Thank you very much as ever to the Let's Learn Everything team. I mean, good luck. I'm just another Chaos Reign. Plug

your stuff. Good luck. Yes! Welcome to Let's Learn Everything, the show where we learn everything And everything interesting You can come listen to our show We are as chaotic as this but we also cover Real science stuff and also silly stuff

We have covered topics as Complex as how CRISPR could be Used to help climate change And as simple as just how much we love pigeons I love pigeons Wait no Tom Scott's giving us the floor to just do a whole podcast. That was what I was asking.

And that's our show for today. Well done, everyone. If you want to know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com where you can send in your own idea for questions. You can find us at Lateral Cast basically everywhere. And there are regular video highlights at youtube.com slash lateralcast

with thanks to the team from Let's Learn Everything who are Caroline Roper Ella Hubber It's been so good to be here Thank you so much Yay! I'm feeling personally attacked by you being nice to him

right now Ella I'm Tom Scott and you being nice to him right now Ella. I'm Tom Scott and that's been Lateral.