Leah on the Line - 15: My bestie and boyfriend have a snapchat streak & keep flirting?!

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

Welcome back babes! In this episode we debated whether or not you could date somebody your family didn't approve of... We had some amazing dilemmas this week and covered so many different topics which... was super fun. From long distance relationships to your boyfriend asking for another girl's number on a night out! Thank you so much for all the love on the podcast, you really mean the world to me! As always send in your thoughts/dilemmas to leahontheline@gmail.com. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 hello hey everyone welcome back to another episode of leah on the line and welcome to all my new friends that came from talia's episode thank you you, Talia Marr, for bringing me all these new friends. Honestly, so many new people found the podcast just obviously because they're a fan of Talia. I keep calling her Talia and it makes me, it gives me the ick and I know it doesn't really matter because it's probably just my accent, but Talia feels right and then Talia feels right in my head. Anyway, welcome. Welcome to the friendship group. You're safe here. We can talk about whatever you want to talk about. We have no boundaries, no taboos. If you're not already following on the Instagram page, make sure you are. Get involved, babes. We need to get you involved. We need new opinions every week. We
Starting point is 00:01:01 need to hear what you guys think. Let switch it up because we've I feel like we've built a real solid friendship group over the last 14 weeks has it been 14 weeks this is actually week 15 I think yeah and I feel quite safe with you all I hope you all feel safe with me do you know what I did notice though obviously I'm posting tiktoks with Talia from the last episode and it's reaching her audience and her audience is also like the sidemen audience which is like predominantly boys and first of all hello boys and my dear just can i just say i do have a boyfriend but hello somebody like i keep getting messages from boys daily being like because my audience is literally like 97 female so i'm just
Starting point is 00:01:40 not used to the male attention on social media i don't know what I mean and I'm getting dms being like aren't you just princess material I was like yes I am I absolutely am you're 100% correct I am um I'm also getting like 15 15 year old boys being like you're fit which you know thank you but whoa um yeah and the other thing I noticed was you guys are fucking brutal. Like, as you all know, like to my reoccurring besties, listeners, we're very sensitive. We're very nice to each other. We're kind. We consider of people's feelings and other people's opinions and that we might not always agree. But we never talk about appearance and things like that. And on the TikToks of Taliaia like people are commenting like somebody commented
Starting point is 00:02:25 something about my nose and i was like well one big fuck you to you because that's mean and then people are being nasty about talia and i'm like getting all mad so i delete the comments that are nasty towards talia because i don't want that negativity on my page and then they're like people like argue with each other they're like oh my god like talia's only with simon for this and oh my god like what what is so great about simon that he gets it he gets a 10 out of 10 like talia and i'm like you guys are so opinionated on people that don't even like know you and you don't even know and i was so like oh my god get this negativity off my page like you know what you guys know you guys know i'm like i'm a positive poly like positive vibes positive attitude respect
Starting point is 00:03:05 love peace love and harmony and with these comments I'm I'm obviously a bit too sensitive but I was a bit like oh my god guys what the fuck like please no not not for Lear on the line it's not it's not the vibe it's not the vibe stop so anyway back to our safe space um welcome to the new listeners I hope you stick around i really appreciate if you have continued to listen from the last episode if that was your first time listening um yeah welcome you're safe here we love you welcome to the friendship group so the weekly debate this week is would you date someone your family didn't approve of so I normally just read yours first but I'm just gonna start with me this week okay okay so I feel in the middle on this one because I know what I
Starting point is 00:03:54 should do but I know what I would do so I know that I really respect my especially my mum's opinion my mum is always right okay most of the time don't get too excited with that one mum okay not always right sometimes most of the time especially when it comes to guys and if she was like Leah I'm telling you now I don't actually think she would ever say this but if I was like mum do you like him and she genuinely didn't she'd be like it's not my favorite but if she if I was of a boy and she said to me Leah he's not for me like I do not like him I don't like him I think he's rude I think he's gonna break your heart I think he's gonna cheat on you like if she said something
Starting point is 00:04:35 like this I know she's right and I know he probably will cheat on me so I'd be like oh fucking hell but I'll stay anyway like I'll still date him because I'm just like that so my answer to the dilemma would you date someone your family didn't approve of yes but would it actually have a big effect on the relationship yes like I would deep down be waiting for it to fail because my family don't approve but mostly my mum when I say my family I mean mostly my mum but then again I feel like my family do have pretty good judgment so yeah my my answer is um I know I shouldn't but yes I would let's see what you guys have said I'm sure this has happened to a load of people before um all right
Starting point is 00:05:17 somebody said yeah your family isn't dating them but when you get married they marry the whole family I mean it's true to an extent but then at the same time like you start your own family most of the time you know like you buy your house you have your children and you have your you know your marriage and your finances and your your life and your world um so do other people's opinions matter I don't know it depends how seriously you take them and depends how fair you think they are as well I suppose um and also at the same time imagine how awkward a wedding would be if none of your family wanted it to be happening imagine how awkward that would be that's really fucking awkward um I think I'd find out why they don't approve and then go from there. Yeah, very fair. But if, okay, let's give you a scenario. You bring a partner home and you're like,
Starting point is 00:06:10 so mum, what do you think of Daniel? And she's like, okay, I'll be honest. I've heard some things about him before. I didn't realise it was this Daniel. But yeah, I know this Daniel and I heard he's a bit of a cheater. Then what are you going to do? That's a tricky one. Somebody says no, too awkward. I heard he's a bit of a cheater. Then what are you going to do? That's a tricky one. Somebody says, no, too awkward.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Yeah, that's the thing. I'm such a family person. I'm so happy and comfortable and content with my family that if I can't bring my partner into that, it's not going to work for me. My ex broke up with me as his parents didn't approve of us. One year later. Oh my God, where's the second half of this comment
Starting point is 00:06:45 oh i literally can't find it i guess we'll never know what happened that's so sad well i hope it was a happy ending not a sad ending um i feel like your mom always knows best even if it takes you longer to realize he's not the one i 100 agree with this person i always say your mom's no your mom knows best whether you like it or not she does she just does in it do you know what I mean um no done it before and almost ruined my family arguments galore Jesus yeah that is so true like it causes tension you start hiding things from them when the relationship does go downhill you sort of don't want to tell them because they're going to be like I told you so so. So true. Yep, half of my fam didn't approve of
Starting point is 00:07:27 my fiance when we first got together. Oh my God, again. Oh, here we go. I found the second half of this one. But we're four years deep, two babies, a house, two dogs and engaged. So I'm glad I didn't listen. Okay. I love that for you. My dad hates my boyfriend, but we have a son and it is what it is. My dad fully refuses to talk to my boyfriend, even though we have a son and it is what it is my dad fully refuses to talk to my boyfriend even though we have a son oh come on dad lighten up your grandson's involved here um my mom didn't like my boyfriend he's the best and now my husband i think it stems from jealousy oh my god really no i will say you do get those moms that like obsessed with their sons have you ever had one of those moms and they're like in love with them they're like in love with their son and they get like weird and jealous they exist has anybody ever experienced that I haven't from a personal perspective like
Starting point is 00:08:15 I've never dated somebody with a mum like that but I've seen it like I've seen it it's weird these people are like in love with their son and they get so jealous when it comes to like hanging out with them or like even things like putting sun cream on him they're like that that was me I've done that all his life yeah well he's fucking grown up now babe weird though they do exist those obsessed mums do exist um not with Jake thank god she's like the dream um my dad can't stand my boyfriend of over six years a lot of dads hate in here um depends on their reason depends on the reason it's really important to me that my family like my partner so I wouldn't yeah I suppose it depends also how close you are with your family because if you don't really respect your family which obviously a lot of
Starting point is 00:09:02 people do have some difficult relationships with their families their opinion will just be like well fuck off I'm happy and I finally found somebody to love outside of this family so I'm gonna go and also do you know what I find sometimes especially with certain people it pushes you towards them more when when your family like don't like him it just makes you want to go fuck off and just run away with him. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, interesting. If I was closer to my family, I would take it into consideration. Well, I did and it didn't end well, so no. Okay, so you're a live and learn type of girl.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Like you've done it before. You've been with a guy your mum or family didn't approve of and it didn't end well. This is the thing. I hate to admit it, but they are always right in the end it's so annoying it's so annoying but then also it's handy because now because I've had 24 years of learning that my mum is usually right when she predicts something's going to happen I almost can prepare myself for it because I'm like I know it's coming but fuck it do you know what I mean um feel like eventually I'd have to dump them it wouldn't be a long-term thing um no I wouldn't even go past dating or sleeping with someone if I know that my parents don't like them absolutely not I'm my dad's child oh sorry I'm my I'm my dad's only
Starting point is 00:10:17 child I'm not disappointing him fair I get that but also it's you're you don't live to like what's the opposite of disappoint make your dad happy like you don't live for your dad's approval you know your life is about you at the same time but I do get what you're saying um depends what their extent a lot of you are just saying depends which I totally get so yeah I suppose like we're saying it depends on your relationship with your family it depends on the reason it depends on your relationship with your family. It depends on the reason. It depends on whether you agree and you think it's fair. Because sometimes your family or your friends will tell you something about the guy or girl that you're dating. And deep down, you're like, yeah, I fucking know that.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Do you not think I know that? But I'm doing it anyway. So just support me, all right? So, yeah, interesting. I feel like a lot of us just do it knowing that we're like self-sabotaging anyway. But it's part of life at the end of the day. Do you know what I mean? Okay, let's get into some dilemmas. I've got a really good one here that I'm going to start with. It's called, he asked for another girl's number on a night out. I'm sorry. I can't wait to read this okay hi leah i absolutely love your podcast i
Starting point is 00:11:27 listen to it every week oh yeah i love you so much me and my boyfriend have been together almost two years love that we live together talk about the future all the time and we've just booked our first holiday abroad woohoo i love that where are you going he goes out sometimes and doesn't come home for the night but he stays at his friend's house and then face sums me from there in the morning okay whatever the previous weekend we went on a night oh sorry we went on a date night but separate separated my my reading skills are getting worse every week you'd think they'd be improving okay the previous weekend we went on a date night but separated in the end as he bumped into his friends and wanted to stay out okay interesting i was fine with it luckily my friends were out so i stayed with them surely
Starting point is 00:12:10 after a date night you just want to go back to the flower or the house and just have crazy drunk sex no um anyway moving forward the whole night he didn't message or call but i found him at the end with one of his friends in a club and asked if he wanted to go home when When I went into work, a girl I work with told me that she caught him talking to another girl that worked in the club and she said he was stood at the bar for a long time and then asked for her number. So she working there? So she's working behind the bar and he stood at the bar chatting to her all night? Okay, go and have a fucking dance. What are you doing at the bar oh wait sorry i've just completely missed the fact he asked for her number huh lol what the actual fuck then when she walked up and said what are you doing i know your girlfriend oh the girl that's telling you this information
Starting point is 00:12:56 okay sorry i have to clarify things because i'm a bit slow at the moment what are you doing i know your girlfriend uh excuse me what are you doing i know i know your girlfriend he replied with it's complicated fuck off what's complicated we've just been on a date what are you struggling to figure out here he told that girl that she's the most beautiful girl he's ever met he even spoke about a past holiday with an ex and asked for her number what what does that mean he spoke about past holiday with an ex i can't quite figure out what that means for some reason sorry about that um my heart just dropped when i heard about this and i feel so insecure now i messaged the girl he spoke to to clarify the situation and she was really nice she confirmed it all but she said in the end he didn't get her number but was that his choice or was that her choice um when i confronted him about it at first he got really angry and denied
Starting point is 00:13:44 it when i showed him the messages of proof he got really angry and denied it when i showed him the messages of proof he said he was really sorry but he doesn't remember any of it and he's shocked with his behavior and he will do anything for me to forgive him he even cried last night as i'm still really hurt about this whole thing leah please help what should i do oh oh my god do you know what it's tricky because to a lot of girls that's a sack of offense and i get it i do get it but i've said before that i do believe people can make mistakes and that wasn't like a he went and had sex with her that's like a big old fucking mistake to make he was just getting a bit carried away turning up at the bar um would i be able to forgive it no i don't think so i think for me that would be the end of the relationship um i would never be able to forgive it no I don't think so I think for me that would be the end of the relationship um I would never be able to look past it so I think for me personally that would
Starting point is 00:14:31 be the end of the relationship because of the damage it would have done not because I think he would do it again or because it would raise other alarms but just because it would cause irreversible damage to me um and to the relationship to the way that I look at him to the way I feel about him going on nights out and I just would want to walk away from those feelings for myself so for me yeah I would end the relationship um but obviously I just think you have to do what feels right for you because like at the end of the day whatever you decide to do you can't look back and regret it because it's what's right for you in this moment um and if you feel like you can forgive him he needs to admit that the relationship's
Starting point is 00:15:15 going to need a bit of work he's going to have to really put a fucking shift in and earn your trust back and your respect back um and you need to truly hand on heart believe that he will not do this to you again that he genuinely doesn't want to be with another woman that he has he's not just doing this because he's been caught but because he genuinely feels terrible for it i think trust your heart and your head in this one like i, I know you're going to feel really rejected because he's spoken to another woman. And he said he's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen in his life. Shouldn't that be you? Like, I just think, obviously, if I was going to give you advice as your friend I'd say babe fuck that mate you are
Starting point is 00:16:06 the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life and you're the most beautiful girl that another boy has ever seen in his life and he deserves you not him like I don't know it's irreversible damage I feel like but that's not to go to say that the relationship couldn't recover from it but the damage has been done do you know what i mean like that has caused some serious damage to the relationship and to you and to your self-esteem and to really look in here look at him but yeah if i was going to give you advice as a friend i'd say fuck that but i know it's so much more difficult than that and i know it's probably not what you want because you're in love with him you probably do just want to believe he will never do this to
Starting point is 00:16:42 you again and you probably do just want to believe that the relationship will survive and it definitely could there's of course potential that this is just a little mistake he's made um but yeah my advice to you is know your worth and make sure you genuinely believe that this sort of thing is never ever ever going to happen again make make sure you teach him a fucking lesson whether it be like you you separate for a month and make him feel like he's really lost you or separate for however long make sure he knows how awful it would be if you did walk away and make him feel lucky that you haven't and make him feel like oh my fucking god i almost lost the woman of my dreams i am the luckiest man on planet earth that that didn't just happen to me okay i love you i'm so sorry that happened to you you're gonna be fine though you're gonna be so fine the relationship can definitely recover if that's what you want
Starting point is 00:17:34 okay let's go next dilemma hi leah thank you for creating such a positive podcast you're doing amazing thank you all right i've been chatting to a guy for four months now and things are going well. Amazing. For reference, I'm 23, he's 26. Great age gap. We've been on dates, see each other mostly every weekend and I've met his parents now.
Starting point is 00:17:56 So I say things are going pretty well. Okay, that's pretty serious. However, we never really talk about how we feel about each other, which in a way I'd prefer this as I don't think you should have the, what are we chat, as I think you should just know and trust each other until one person gives you a reason not to. Okay. He's talked about moving to Australia recently, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. His friends lived out there, and so he would be
Starting point is 00:18:19 living with him. Oh, his friend lives out there, and so he would be living with him and his family basically living a life in oz i guess i'm just pretty gutted as i kind of saw a life partner in the sky and not sure how to tell him how i really feel i kind of want to put my cards out on the table and explain how upset i would be and how i feel about him but i'm not really sure that that would sway him in wanting to stay anyway he's been quite flippant with the idea of going and it's making me a bit down in the dumps as i feel like he's not even thought about what we potentially have any advice would be greatly appreciated as i never really write into podcasts but i don't know who to speak to about it much
Starting point is 00:18:52 love oh well thank you so much for talking to me about it and i'm glad that you feel like you can talk to me about it so that's fucking terrible like to be in your position is just fucking shit. Like that is so shit. But my advice would be, um, you cannot ask him to stay. And I say that because he will say for some reason, like he was like, Oh, I'm going to put off my dreams to move to Australia and stay for this girl. He will resent you forever. Like he will always be thinking, what if, like, what if I live the life of my dreams and what if I did what I've always wanted to do and move to Australia to be with my best friend and I think he will resent you and I think he'll resent the relationship and I think he'll feel like it held him back in life and I think if he's going to stay that needs to be his decision
Starting point is 00:19:40 and not yours um so that he can never blame you like he can never blame the relationship um you're not actually officially together yet which is making obviously things quite difficult and complicated because you want to say to him you don't want to have the what are we chat but you want to say to him like if you go to australia i'm going to be fucking gutted mate and i think you can say that but i think you should also say like however I never want to be an obstacle in your ambitions and your dreams and I want you to live those dreams but I don't think I could I could sleep well at night if I didn't just say to you that I really do see potential future with you I think that's worth saying because then you can't look back with any regret and you can say look I told him how I
Starting point is 00:20:25 felt and he still chose to go and you should be proud of yourself for that never ask him to stay you know if he wants to stay he'll stay um not because you asked him to do you know what I mean I think your job is to go look it sounds fucking incredible it sounds like an amazing life opportunity and I'll be so happy for you if you live that life. But I also do just want to say before you go that I'll be fucking gutted. Because I really am falling for you. And put it on the table. I am fucking falling for you.
Starting point is 00:20:57 I am. And I will struggle if you go. And I will be gutted. But what can I do? I have to have I'm not going to stop you but at the same time I wouldn't forgive myself if I let you go just without saying this so take from it what you will but yeah I am falling for you and if you go to Australia I'll be fucking gutted but I would never want to stop you so and if he's like you know i'll only be gone five years babe we'll get together when you get back i'm sorry whatever and you never know if he's your soul mate maybe
Starting point is 00:21:30 when he comes back everything will fall into place and you'll tell your beautiful children we met when we were young and then i didn't see him for five years he went to australia for five years and then he came back and we bumped into each other in Asda, and fell in love, and now we have you, you never know, that's the thing, it's out of your control, leave it in the hands of the universe, whatever's meant to be will be, just make sure you've got off your chest whatever you need to say, because you don't want him to be in Australia and go, fuck, I wish I wasn't so fucking stubborn, I wish I'm just told on how I felt, but again, you cannot ask him to stay, don't go, don't go, please stay, please stay, please go please stay please stay please please no no no no i would love for you to go and experience
Starting point is 00:22:09 life like that but i just feel like i have to tell you before you go that i am falling in love with you uh-huh and it's fucking shit for me because you're about to move to the other side of the world but here we are okay was that terrible advice maybe was it what you wanted to hear absolutely not probably not um but hopefully it was useful i don't know okay i've got this new dilemma i haven't even read it but the title i'm it's completely different to anything we've ever done on all of the dilemmas on all the weeks so that's why i'm going for it it's called friends gross pda okay let's go for it hey leah so this story does not really involve me directly but it's to do with my friend group so there's two people in my friend group there's about 10
Starting point is 00:22:52 of us all together jesus christ how do you lot have these big friendship groups i can struggle to maintain two friendships because i i find it exhausting i'm not even joking i mean to be fair we are one massive friendship group so anyway so there's two people in this group of friend that are dating they're a nice couple we all like them together and there's no jealousy with the group at all but they are so gross with their pda all the time it's literally constant you will turn around and they will be right there sucking each other's faces off like a fucking jump scare or you'll be sat by them while we're in a group and they'll be full on making out and touching each other up like a foot away from you i'm not talking just a little cuddle and a peck on the lips no it is disgusting they are literally eating each other's faces also we're still in school and
Starting point is 00:23:37 they do it in the middle of class on the bus outside literally anywhere oh my god all of us in the group love them both individually but jesus christ this has got to stop we tease them jokingly and go ew and stuff some of them have tried to tell them to stop seriously but they just ignore us it's to the point where it's literally gross and embarrassing some things should be private but they seem to have no shame at all help please okay you said you're in school i'm gonna hope you're american and you're not under 18 listening to this because otherwise some of the to be fair i'd say you should probably be 16 to listen to my podcast don't you guys but anyway let's just pretend that you're of age um do you know what i
Starting point is 00:24:18 would do i would actually walk away and be like you guys are fucking embarrassing like if you're gonna start having sex with each other in the middle of this, wherever we are, I don't know, playground? I'm trying to make you sound like adults. In the middle of this... cafeteria. Cafeteria. If you two are just going to start having sex with each other
Starting point is 00:24:39 in the middle of this cafeteria, I'm literally so embarrassed. I'm walking away from you. This is so embarrassing. That's what I would do. I'm not even joking. It probably horrible but i would if if i was generally as embarrassed as you as you're saying you are i would actually say to them you're fucking embarrassing you lot get a room honestly just go to the toilet if you can't wait honestly
Starting point is 00:24:58 it's disgusting make you feel sick i can literally see that saliva as you pull away it's disgusting that angus fong's perfect snogging disgusting you make me sick no honestly i wouldn't be that vile but i'd literally just get up and be like i can't sit with you everyone's fucking looking at us you're embarrassing me all right and then see if they like sitting on their own having sex with each other in the middle of cafeteria i don't know you said that you've you've tried to joke about it you've also tried to talk to them seriously about it so your only other option is just to like walk away and be like I don't want to be around it and just sit on another table is that a bit is that a bit um is that a bit nasty but like I said if you tried everything um I don't know I don't know if you tried everything then is it nasty
Starting point is 00:25:48 to just walk away I don't know I hope so I mean I hope not I hope it's nasty no I hope not I hope everything's fine I mean at the same time I'm happy for them I'm happy for their relationship it sounds amazing but yeah the problem is that you guys are getting embarrassed by it. So I'll just walk away. Okay. Next dilemma. Does long distance work? Have we done this? Oh my God. Is that a weekly debate we haven't done? Oh, have we done it before? Does long distance work? It's a great dilemma. I mean, weekly debate. Somebody let me know if we haven't done that yet and if you would like me to do it okay my boyfriend and i have been together six months i've never felt this strongly about anyone and genuinely could see myself marrying him however i'm doing a year abroad
Starting point is 00:26:35 next year as a part of my degree in europe still and really worrying about how we can make it work we both have agreed that if we're right for each other we will make it work but i can't help having worries about it what makes it even worse is that he also wants to do a year abroad but the following year so two years of long distance i cba any tips on long distance would love to hear your thoughts on it i love you i love you too um okay good for you for just like pursuing your uh career and going abroad. Because I know a lot of people would probably fuck off the abroad year and just want to be with your boyfriend. Me probably being one of those people.
Starting point is 00:27:14 So let me tell you a little story. When I first met Jake, I'd known him a month or two. We'd been together a month or two. And I was like, I'm moving to Miami for nine months to work for Royal Caribbean. Well, I was going to move to Miami for six weeks. And then I would have been traveling the world for eight, seven, seven months. And when I say traveling the world, I mean like America. I can't remember where else I was supposed to go.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Like the Caribbean islands were half of them. But yeah. And I was like, yeah, I'm basically not not gonna see you for pretty much a whole year and he was like absolutely not like we'll make it work i will try and get on a cruise ship and it was so unrealistic but he was like i will literally just come out on the cruise ship every month like i will fly to miami every month and i was like babe it's not gonna happen but luckily Jake does work from home so it wouldn't be like a can't get time off thing it would just be more like do you actually want to pay all that money just come and see me um and we convinced ourselves that we'd make it work and we used to say to each other like it's gonna be so hard like so hard but
Starting point is 00:28:21 if it's meant to be at the end of these nine months time we will be together and we'll go oh my god we did it we made it um and then covid happened and i literally only went away for a month and then i got sent home but let me tell you that month was hard it was a hard month but i think could i have done it for nine months who knows because the situation would have been different i was only living in miami whereas if i was on a cruise ship I wouldn't have had signal like I would have been in the middle of the ocean most of the time whereas you're going to be in Europe so I think you can totally make it work if you really want to I think you totally can oh my chair's a bit squeaky if you heard that I apologize um yeah I think you can totally make it
Starting point is 00:29:05 work and I genuinely find so much comfort in in the in the saying of just like leave it in the hands of the universe like what am I gonna do I'm gonna go away and study what am I gonna do about about being long distance I can't do nothing we are gonna be long distance I'm just gonna have to you know whatever's meant to be will be I'm just going to have to just face it and deal with it when when it when it comes to it and you know I think worrying about it is a waste of time because what's it going to change it's just going to take away the enjoyment of the time that you have together now which you know is is precious to be honest um I think really convince yourself it will work and convince yourself it's not going to be a problem so that pretty much when you go away
Starting point is 00:29:55 you're feeling positive about it and it's not been this big nervous angst angst um anxious build-up of like oh my god only one more month left together like oh my god like i think enjoy it and and love it um and yeah you're absolutely you have what it takes you are strong enough to to get through it and i believe that if the relationship is meant to be it will survive and you should be proud of of you and him for prioritizing your career right now because you're going to look back and go oh my god what an amazing two years we had i can't believe we made the relationship survive we are fucking amazing and if you can get through that you can get through absolutely anything so see it as a positive challenge and enjoy the time that
Starting point is 00:30:37 you have now before you go and don't don't dread going away be excited about it be excited for the challenge be excited to prove how strong your relationship is to everybody and to yourself and you can absolutely make it work i was meant to be it'll be i love you okay next dilemma i just found out that my ex-boyfriend who i lost my virginity to is dating my quotation marks best friend she didn't tell me until they started dating and never asked how i felt This has happened twice now with different boys and different friends. Am I being walked over? Yes, you are. It's not that you're being walked over in terms of you're doing anything wrong.
Starting point is 00:31:14 I think it's happened twice. That's just fucking unlucky. It's not your fault. These people are just dicks. Like, there's so many people in the world and your best friend had to pick your ex. And this has happened twice now. Like, it's nothing that you're doing you do not deserve this you are not asking for this sort of behavior from people and this treatment from people there's nothing that you're doing you do not deserve that and I'm really sorry that that this has happened to you twice um
Starting point is 00:31:39 but all I can say is fuck these people like there is nothing you can do about it sadly it does hurt and it does make it difficult to trust people especially the fact that it's made it difficult for you to trust boys and for you to trust friends which is fucking brilliant but no it's not your fault like what could you have done differently these people would still do that I just think it says so much about them like there's so many people out there in the world and they had to pick each other really do you not care about me what about me you don't care about my feelings okay i'll just go fuck myself then shall i yeah you deserve each other mate flip the perspective they fucking deserve each other they're both shit they're all shit they
Starting point is 00:32:17 all deserve each other and you know if this happens to you again I'll be like what the fuck like have you done something bad and you're getting bad karma no I just said it's not your fault what are you talking about it's not your fault you're absolutely amazing and I'm really sorry this happened to you this is honestly a really short response to this dilemma it's a pretty short dilemma anyway but yeah honestly I just feel like you've done nothing to deserve it. You are being walked over, but not because of anything that you're doing. Just because, I guess, you've been very unlucky in your choice of friends. And your choice of boyfriends.
Starting point is 00:32:56 I don't know. But this will not happen to you again, okay? We will not allow this for a fucking third time. But please do not allow it to damage how you trust people and stuff because that not all people are like this not all people are going to fuck you over like that there are good people out there i promise and you'll meet the right person and and they will love you so much and you will make amazing friends that would never ever ever do that to you i would never do that to you anyway i love you okay let's go on to one last dilemma it's called my bestie and my boyfriend constantly flirting and telling me not to worry what the actual fuck okay hey leah i feel like i already i've already
Starting point is 00:33:35 known you for years oh i love that um oh my god your podcast has helped me so much i thought my anxiety was normal and your podcast has helped me realize that it isn't and i've had my first therapy session and it's definitely helping oh my god everybody clap I'm trying to clap I have a microphone in my hand everybody clap I'm well happy for you I'm so I'm so proud well done okay anyways I'm having a bit of a dilemma with my boyfriend and bestie by the way I'm 22 and so is my bestie and my boyfriend is 23 I've been with my boyfriend for just over six months and it was going great I've known my bestie for over five years but she recently broke up with her boyfriend. The problem is that whenever they're together there is a definite flirty energy. They flirt
Starting point is 00:34:14 with each other once they had a wrestling fight which I don't think is normal for two who aren't together. I looked through my boyfriend's phone because I was scared he's cheating on me and found their snapchat streak was 44 days which I didn't worry too much about because I didn't find any suspicious messages. I've talked to my boyfriend about it and he says, don't worry, that's a bit weird, you know, since she's your best friend. A bit weird, you know. Oh, that's a bit weird, you know. What? I'm confused. I love you you i can't believe you wouldn't trust me oh why would you even think that babe i love you i can't believe you wouldn't trust me okay this is what the boyfriend's saying yeah yeah yeah shut the fuck up i shrugged it off but i
Starting point is 00:34:55 but it carried on so i talked to my best friend she said what the actual fuck why are you bringing that up again like you must be mad or something do you not trust me i was shocked that she said again because my boyfriend must have told her because i never brought it up with her before when i asked if they wanted to hang out on a weekend they both looked each looked at each other and were busy that day anyway i may be overthinking but i'm a bit worried because they flirt text a lot and obviously have spoken about me behind my back as well as the weird busy weekend love you so much hope you can help what the fuck i'm not being funny there's so many red flags in this dilemma so many but it's difficult because you like you don't have any solid evidence but do you know what i don't like about it you don't like it you don't like this friendship that they've made and i i'm not being funny neither
Starting point is 00:35:43 would i i would not be okay with that i'm sorry it's just too much it's over the line you're not friends do you know I mean you're not you're not exactly pals why is that trying every single day I don't talk to my best friends every single day and you're talking to my best friend every single day and my boyfriend no I'm sorry I'm sorry it's not on quite a sound like Shanice then from Love Island I'm sorry it's not on god i sound like shenice then from love island i'm sorry it's just not on but anyway do you know what i don't like about it you've said your boyfriend i don't like this this makes me uncomfortable and rather than going okay babe i understand i i'll have you know i won't do this anymore i won't talk to him anymore i get why it looks weird you are right at the end of the day my love my angel my darling love of my life, you are right.
Starting point is 00:36:27 And I totally see how you feel about it. And I would never want to make you uncomfortable. So yeah, I won't talk to her every day. There is no need. You're the love of my life. I don't need to talk to her every day. You know, that's the energy I expect. But then instead, he's gone to her and gone, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Millie is so annoying she just she just asked me why I'm snapchatting you every day sorry and then so he's obviously mentioned it to your best mate right and if it was innocent your best mate should have then come to you and gone hey babe um Daniel just said to me that you were a bit weird about our Snapchat streak. And I just want you to know that I would never like do that to you. Like, if you are uncomfortable with it, please tell me. Like, I'm so sorry if you felt like I was being snaky. Like, please don't feel uncomfortable about it. You're literally my best friend. I would never do anything like that to you. You crazy girl. You crazy girl. And I would say, um, you know, if I would expect her to say,
Starting point is 00:37:24 do you want me to stop being friends with him? Or like say do you want me to stop being friends with him or like do you want me to stop talking to him every day like i i've never want to make you uncomfortable so you know daniel mentioned that you didn't like it and i just wanted to let you know that you have nothing to worry about like i would never do that to you i love you so much you're literally the love of my life you're my best friend you're my soulmate but that was not the energy they were rude to you and made you feel like your feelings weren't valid. And that's bullshit, mate. I think I'm with you on this. I think there's something going on. I'm not joking. I actually do. And I would talk to them both either together or separately,
Starting point is 00:37:56 whatever you feel more comfortable doing and say, look, I don't care what you think. I don't like it. There is no need for you to be pally pally with my boyfriend like this I want you to be friends I want you to hang out but a 44 day snapchat streak what the fuck why what are you snapchatting each other and snapchat as well snapchat's the snake in it I hate snapchat so much cheating goes on on that fucking app I hate it um and you know a good friend and a good boyfriend would go okay babe i understand if that's how you feel i totally get it it's absolutely not a problem it's absolutely not a problem for me it makes no difference to my life i can i can of course cut down this intense friendship i've built with your best friend
Starting point is 00:38:43 there's no need oh my god there's actually no need have you not got any other friends you need you need to take mine oh my god i think i think they fancy each other i do i think they fancy each other wrestling as well get off get off of my boyfriend fucking a 619 in him on the bed it's weird i don't like it oh no i don't like i'm with you i'm with you to be honest babes i would have a real serious conversation and i'm not even joking this would be enough for me to break up with one of them one of them um i wouldn't want to be in a relationship where this was going on to be honest and i wouldn't want to be friends with somebody that would act like that around me because their response to to you finding out about it says everything like you should have responded you should have found
Starting point is 00:39:29 out and their response should have been like oh my god are you crazy i would never i love you so much but it wasn't it was like you're fucking mad aren't you you're fucking weird and they made you feel crazy rather than being like oh my god i totally get how you feel i totally get it like whatever you want babe whatever you're comfortable with we will do that they didn't do that where was that energy that's what a real friend and a real boyfriend will respond like but that's not what we got and not good enough not good enough i'm afraid so yeah i reckon have a last little chat with them say i don't like it like it. And it's not going to continue. It's not going to.
Starting point is 00:40:06 No. You don't need to be Snapchatting my best friend every day. It's fucking weird. Tell them I said so, if you want. If they start ganging up on you and they're like, oh my God, she's literally so weird. Like she won't even let us be friends. Play them this. Listen to me now.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Make sure they're listening to this. Listen to me, YouTube. You're fucking strange. You're obsessed with each other every single day yeah what's the need for that we're snapchatting every single day behind my back and then when i find out about it sorry not behind my back behind behind her back i don't i don't want to say your name behind her back and when she finds out about you're all fucking nasty about it you're nasty why are you bringing this up again shut yeah, bring it up because I don't like it, and you should validate my feelings, okay, I don't like it, and that should be enough for you to just go, okay, no problem, if you don't like it, problem solved, shh, fucking bitch, sorry, ow,
Starting point is 00:41:01 um, so yeah, I think we all know how I feel about this one thing is i really do believe that your boyfriend and best friend can have an amazing friendship and i've had it and i encourage it but it's the snaky lies and the flirting and the wrestling and the and the telling you oh my god you're bringing this up again yes i am yes i am bringing it up again because you're on day 197 on snapchat that's why i'm bringing it up again because you're on day 197 on Snapchat. That's why I'm bringing it up again. Have some fucking respect, you bitch. Why am I acting like I've got real personal experience in this?
Starting point is 00:41:34 I'm getting very upset. I don't like it. I'm getting a bit protective of you. And I don't like it. I don't like the behavior. Very fucking snaky and rude. And you deserve better at the end of the day. All right. I think I'm going to end this episode here um how are you all how was your week oh it was actually
Starting point is 00:41:50 weekend wasn't it how was it what did you get up to did you have a nice weekend I didn't get any drunk texts from you guys this weekend which is the first time because I normally always get drunk texts from you this weekend which means you were drunk texting your ex weren't you instead of me and you know what I always tell you don't drunk text your ex drunk text me so just remember that this weekend when you're going out don't make bad decisions i mean do i support you every time we know that um yeah thank you so much for all the love on last week's episode with talia i had so much fun talia is a dream she was so easy to talk to so easy to be around so fucking attractive as well um but oh my god have I got a treat for you I've got a new guest oh my god it's like ASMR
Starting point is 00:42:33 I've never done ASMR before how do you guys feel about that I feel like I've got an awful voice to be doing ASMR although oh doesn't that sound nice anyway bring the volume back um do i have a treat for you i have i have a guest that i'm recording with on friday oh my god and all i'm saying is you are not ready you're not ready And if that didn't give it away. Hello, Leo on the line. I'm so excited. I am so excited. Right, my love.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Right, my love. I'm just at the shops, my love. Got enough money? Got enough money? All right, I'll send you £10. I'll send you £10, my love. All right, my love. I'll get you some apple. Got enough food? Got enough food? Alright, I'll send you £10. I'll send you £10, my love. Alright, my love. I'll get you some apple. Got enough food?
Starting point is 00:43:28 Got enough food, my love? I'll get you some apples, my love. Alright, my love. I can't hear you, my love. I can't hear you, my love. I'm just at the shops, my love. I'm just at Tesco. Did that give it away? If that didn't give it away, I don't know what will.
Starting point is 00:43:44 I don't know what will i don't know what will girls oh i'm so excited i'm so excited i'm gonna cry but i can't meet justin bieber that love my life oh she is basically the love of my life i can't wait anyway if that didn't give it away i don't know what will if you don't know who that is who i just basically impersonated you're gonna just think i'm absolutely fucking weird which you would be correct as well but anyway get excited so so exciting if you've got any questions for her or anything you want to know oh i'm just gonna tell you her name's maddie grace jefferson she's like the best tiktoker on planet tiktok on planet earth um and she's the funniest person to walk
Starting point is 00:44:21 the earth basically and i'm so excited that she's agreed to come on. She is my dream, to be honest. So yeah, send in any questions or messages or anything that you have for Maddie over on Instagram, at leerontheline. As always, send in your thoughts or dilemmas to leerontheline at gmail.com. And I'll see you guys next week for another
Starting point is 00:44:45 episode all right I love you

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