Leah on the Line - 28: Are you happy with your partner not posting you on social media & my bf went to a sex show!

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

Hi gorgeous! Welcome back! Today's weekly debate is "are you okay with your partner not posting you on social media?" along with some great dilemmas from feeling stuck in your job to a guy messing wit...h your head! Thank you so much for all of your love and support, it means the absolute world to me. As always send in your dilemmas/confessions to leahontheline@gmail.com. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Tuesday. How are you? God, it's not been long, has it? I last spoke to you on Sunday. If you missed it, I uploaded a bonus episode on Sunday. If you missed it, I uploaded a bonus episode on Sunday. I answered all your juicy assumptions about me. The majority of you were actually very kind and your assumptions were nice, friendly assumptions. I feel very lucky. I touch wood every time I say this because I'm absolutely petrified of online hate but I feel very lucky because my followers and listeners you're all like so nice like I don't even understand it I don't know why I've just managed to attract kind lovely beautiful people so everyone give yourself a pat on the back now for being a good person because you are so what day is it today oh it's Monday currently Love Island final tonight
Starting point is 00:01:06 so when this comes out it would have already finished my predictions are that Ekin and Davide win if they don't I'm gonna be very upset very upset um but it's gonna happen of course they're gonna win imagine if they came like fourth I'd be like what the fuck no it would never happen they're gonna win I absolutely love them how amazing was their final date when she said I love you in Italian oh she's so sweet do you think they're gonna last on the outside I hope so I really hope so I guess there's only one way to find out people I mean they say they love each other do you think they do do you think you can love someone in the love island villa because you know life's very different in there you know i'm sure it's easy to love someone in a
Starting point is 00:01:50 in a luxury villa on in a hot beautiful country you know i'm sure it's easy to love someone until you're back home it's raining in manchester he's gone on a night out you've not heard from him all night do you mean might not love him so much then that is that is the shit thing in it you live in a fantasy for like eight weeks it's not real it's not real life so then like are you compatible in the outside world who knows I hope they are I hope they are what I love about Davide and Ekin is that like they'll have this big dramatic blown up fallout. They're not talking to each other.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Then all it takes is like let's go for a chat. And then they just like look at each other and smile. And then Davide will be like do you want to be with me? She's like yeah. Do you want to be with me? And he's like yeah. And then it's like okay great. Finished.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Squashed. I just love it. We should all take a leaf out of Davide and Ekin's book. When you've fallen out of your boyfriend good. Do you want to be with me? Yeah. Do you want to be with me yeah do you want to be with me yeah okay great shut the fuck up then it should be that simple really all right no I mean not really you should be able to talk about your feelings that's probably not a good way to deal with conflict because I suppose you're just constantly brushing your feelings under the rug which means you never
Starting point is 00:03:00 actually get to the bottom of things which means you have a build-up of feelings towards somebody that you're not actually getting out probably not a healthy way to um get through conflict but anyway i'm not a counselor so what do i know welcome back i miss you so much i hope you had the best weekend i hope your monday was okay i hope you feel like you start the week off on a good note but if you didn't don't worry today's another day we can start it again do you know what i mean weekly debate this week um i popped up a story and asked you guys for some weekly debate um choices what do you want us to talk about and you guys said one of you guys said how would you feel if your partner didn't post you on their social media and i love that one we haven't discussed this before so brilliant let's do it should i start with my opinion or yours let's start with yours okay because i feel like i'll probably agree with
Starting point is 00:03:49 most of you i mean i usually do let's scroll down okay somebody says i'm in a relationship of almost three years and we aren't on each other's social media i just prefer the private life and don't like the idea of people i don't like or know knowing my business I mean fair enough I feel like if you're a private person it makes sense but if you're someone like me who like social media is your job and your life and you absolutely love social media I'm gonna put you on my socials you know I mean like if I was a private person it would it would be like normal but if I was like I post on social media all the time but my boyfriend's a secret it would be like eh do you know what I mean so I get that I totally get that um depends the reasons my boyfriend's insta is a business page so it'd be weird if he did okay yeah fair does he not have a personal page I mean I like that at
Starting point is 00:04:33 least you know he's not like sliding into girls dms because he's got a business page I mean maybe he doesn't know what am I talking about no of course he doesn't um honestly this makes me absolutely fume especially when they posted exes fuck yeah if they posted their ex and not me that's a fucking issue I'm sorry it's not good enough but like I'm like in this position now where like I'm not gonna teach someone to treat me how I want to be treated or like not not this is about like treating me right but like if I want to be with somebody um and he used to post his ex on socials and he doesn't post me I'm not going to be like post me on your social
Starting point is 00:05:11 media if you don't want to post me there's something going on there and I'm just checking out I think fuck this shit like if you're if you used to post your ex and you're not posting me I'll be like nah I can't be. I'm not going to tell you what I want from you. You give it to me or you don't. Do you know what I mean? Um, I just, oh no, I've read that one. Somebody says if they post regularly and make it seem like they're single red flag, agreed. Oh my God, agreed. If they're just like posting the boys, posting when they go out, posting the football, and then you're nowhere to be seen like a single lad absolutely not we're gonna we're gonna check that behavior okay somebody says i would be a little
Starting point is 00:05:52 bothered yeah um i feel like that shows there is something to hide why would you not want to show off i feel like there's probably a second part to that message and i can't find it your girlfriend maybe um my boyfriend barely uses it so I don't mind but but if he did and didn't post me and then fist emojis yeah like if he doesn't if he's just not an Instagram user then that's fair enough like my first boyfriend was really like private Instagram posted like one a year like I don't I don't think he ever really used it but I don't remember if I was on it I'm sure I would have been because it sounds like something I would have had a problem with do you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:06:28 especially because I always post my boyfriends because I love selfie pics with my boyfriend I love couple photos I love making like when I'm when I've got like a beautiful memory I love snapping the pic do you know what I mean I'm a memory photographer and I love a couple photo so yeah I want to be on your insta basically um my ex barely ever did it made me feel like shit and I had to ask him to do it all the time yeah that's just so shit like I'm not gonna ask you to do that I'm literally not um um I mean I get it because I wouldn't ever post anyone now, but I completely understand, oh, wait, I think I read this wrong, oh my god, I'm so confused, I'm so confused, but I completely understand how this can make some girls feel, but I'm insecure in myself to
Starting point is 00:07:14 not be bothered by it, if you know, but I'm secure in myself, sorry, she's secure in herself to not be bothered by it, okay, get you, get you, get i just picture like you're popping up to girls you're liking their stories can instagram delete the fucking liking stories feature because the amount of boys that like my stories that have fucking girlfriends and i think you snakes you don't like my photos you're not up in my dms you're liking my story because you can get away with it because i'm the only one that sees that do you know what i mean it's snaky this this liking stories feature i'm not a fan um sorry but if i'm your woman why the fuck aren't you showing me off like the proud bf you should be exactly like i want a girl to click on your instagram like if a girl fancies you i want her to be able to go on your instagram go oh he's got a girl do you mean he's got a girlfriend what a beautiful girl she is oh they look they look so happy together
Starting point is 00:08:07 what a beautiful caption what a beautiful lovely couple they look so in love i'm gonna leave them to it that's what i want do you mean girls boys that is exactly what i want i understand keeping a relationship private but it's still nice to be celebrated yeah this is the difficult thing if you're a private person i get it um but then for me i don't think i'd be able to have a really solid relationship with someone if they was that private because i'm the opposite like i am a social media content creator like you're gonna be your face is gonna be all over my socials hun so if you're a private person we're probably not gonna work um and also i want to be on your instagram so if you're going to be, your face is going to be all over my socials hun, so if you're a private person we're probably not going to work, and also I want to be on your Instagram, so if you're a private person it's going to be an issue for me, and you, isn't it darling, as long as they appreciate
Starting point is 00:08:57 me in person then it's not the end of the world, but I would be concerned as to why they didn't want anyone to see me, is there someone yeah i get you i get you that's what i would question like who do you want to think that you're single like who do you want to think that you're available because for some reason you're not willing to publicly say i'm i'm husband off do you know what i mean husbanded off how do you say that'm husbanded off. Do you know what I mean? Husbanded off. How do you say that? Wifed off, husbanded off. Yeah. Um, my boy is awful on social, so I don't care. But if he was a regular poster, I'd be pissed. One or two pics to show appreciation. I'm not bothered about being overly shown off. Yeah, of course. Like I don't need to be all over like a few pics. Do you know what I mean? Like maybe one every 10 pics.
Starting point is 00:09:46 There's me. Do you know what I mean? Is that too much? But then I also, I also think it's really nice if you, if you are a public person on socials, if you use socials like this, I think it's really nice when you're like out with me
Starting point is 00:10:01 and you're like, let me get a little pic for my story. Show you off because you look absolutely stunning tonight let me pop you on my story gorgeous beautiful stunning girl I love you do you know what I mean I'm not asking for much am I or if they post like a cute little like you're holding a glass of wine he's holding a glass of wine little candle like just a little table pic do you know what I mean little little I'm on a date with my beautiful wife pic do you know what I mean um he can post you but still let people know he's take oh he cannot post you but still let people know he's taken yeah of course I think if you don't post me it just raises alarm bells in my head thinking that you're popping up to girls
Starting point is 00:10:41 um because I'm okay with the fact that like if you're with a boy there's a chance that girls are going to slide into his dms like it's just a possibility and that's absolutely fine with me because i want to trust that my boyfriend's going to go well he's not going to say anything he's just going to not reply he's not he's not going to accept the message so it's not the the fear of girls thinking oh my god he's in a really he's he's single sorry it's not the fear of girls thinking, oh my God, he's single. Sorry. It's not the fear of a girl thinking, oh my God, he's single. Let me in there.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Because they can still think that and send the message. And I can trust my boyfriend's not going to do that and not going to cheat on me. But I would feel way better in the relationship if I could see that I'm publicly his girlfriend, because then I don't have the fear of him cheating on me. Do you know what I'm saying? Do you know what I mean? Because I feel like if a boy messaged me, and for some reason I fancied him
Starting point is 00:11:35 and actually wanted to chat to him, and then went on his Instagram and saw girls there, I'm not fucking replying. If anything, I'm clicking on that girl's tagged name, sending her a screenshot of the message and saying, I'm not sure if you're still together, just to let you know your boyfriend's a snake do you know what i mean so yeah i want to be on your instagram moral of the story is i want to be on your instagram hun whether you fucking use it or not you're using it now you're using it at
Starting point is 00:11:59 least once if you don't use instagram just the last pic you post needs to be of me i'm joking i'm joking everyone i'm actually joking calm down um my ex used to not post me but post all of his girlfriends he was cheating she put friends in quotation marks yeah that's some bullshit that is some bullshit um i mean yeah okay let's wrap up the weekly debate because I'm going on and on and repeating the same shit now. I'm probably annoying all of you, but yeah, my opinion is I would like, I would like to be posted. Um, yeah, I deserve to be posted. Okay. I'm, I'm worthy of being posted onto your instagram so post me bitch you're all worthy of being shown off because it's do you know what sorry to drag it out it's not actually the idea
Starting point is 00:12:52 of being shown off like it's not about don't show me off it's just like make it known that we're in a relationship yeah is that but then that probably just comes down to my trust issues because realistically I should just be able to trust that my boyfriend's not a cheater. Um, but anyway, should we move on to some dilemmas? Yeah. Um, love you guys. Thanks for sending in your thoughts on that one. Really thoroughly quite enjoyed that one. on that one really thoroughly quite enjoyed that one okay i believe i have an update um okay so you guys remember i posted a dilemma on my instagram story and asked for your guys advice for the 24 year old girl with a boyfriend but she's been really unlucky in friendships and she feels rubbish yeah so we've got a response from the gorgeous girl she says hi leah thank you so much
Starting point is 00:13:47 for your advice on my dilemma and delivering some words of wisdom from your listeners i really appreciate it so well done everybody she really appreciates you all i wanted to respond by saying that i work in the insurance industry in central london and i'm living the usual nine to five city girl life i guess i could potentially take up a saturday job in a bar but it would take it it would be a lot to take on after my usual Monday to Friday yeah definitely don't do that definitely don't I agree with what you said in that I do find social interaction slightly scary when it comes to meeting new people and I definitely dread any moments of awkwardness I live in the Essex area so this may be a big ask but if any of the listeners are in the same boat and live in Essex or London I would love to reach out and arrange a coffee or something similar wine is good too my Instagram handle
Starting point is 00:14:29 is where I'm going to give you all her Instagram so if anyone's in Essex or London area and you need some friends this gal is needing some friends okay everyone go make friends lau so I'm assuming like law like short for Laura yeah law underscore wood x law underscore wood x everyone if you're in essex or london reach out to the girl um and start a beautiful friendship and it's all thanks to leah on the line and you guys can bond over that for life and isn't that quite beautiful if there's one thing that i want people to take away from Leah on the line is friendships. Okay, guys. So love that. Hopefully you guys can make friends. That would be so sweet and amazing. Okay. Sorry for that ugly little sniff. Okay. Let's read a new dilemma. Right. Hi, Leah. I'm 24 and a big fan of the podcast thank you same i'm 24 i'm 25 on
Starting point is 00:15:28 august 22nd don't know if i've mentioned my birthday's coming up so getting straight into it my boyfriend of five years went on a city break with a few of his friends he reassured me it was not going to be a typical lad's holiday as two of the boys are also in relationships and only one is single we've always been open about our boundaries and whilst i wouldn't stop him from doing anything i said i would not feel comfortable if he went to a strip club or anything like that okay fair enough you set your boundaries girl throughout the days he would provide updates and all seemed okay but when he came home he spilled some things that happened whilst he was away he said two of his friends went to a strip club one went back early to their airbnb and so he decided to go back too
Starting point is 00:16:09 but was locked out of their room for two hours as he didn't have a key although i trust him i'm overthinking and something just does not add up he did confess though that he went to see a live sex show which for me is probably worse than going to a strip club do you think it's right that he went to see a live sex show which for me is probably worse than going to a strip club do you think it's right that he still went to something like that when we'd already discussed our boundaries okay um oh do you know what it doesn't matter if i think it's right it literally matters if you're okay with it um and what you expected from him so you know like i think personally if i went on holiday and my boyfriend said to me please don't go to a strip club I'm not gonna think he'd be okay with me going to a sex show now that doesn't
Starting point is 00:16:52 necessarily mean I'm not gonna go because I'm an independent woman I do the fuck I want but I'm having that conversation with him and I'm saying babe I know we've discussed like you don't mean to go to a strip club but there's this like sex show everyone wants to go I think it'll be a laugh like you know just wanted to let you know like would that really bother you I wouldn't want to cause any horrible feelings for you you know it'd just be funny like it's not I'm not gonna sit there getting fucking horny do you know what I mean and if he was like Leah it makes me really uncomfortable you know how would you feel if I went? That's when I'd be like, do I want to go?
Starting point is 00:17:28 Like maybe some of us can go. Maybe some of us can go somewhere else. You know, like do I actually need to see somebody having sex? But if I was like, babe, it's a laugh. It's literally a laugh, okay? And he was like, okay, whatever. Go to your fucking sex show, you slut. Then I'd be like, okay, bye.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Love you, bye. Do you know what I mean so I think I would have liked him to approach you about that especially because you had a conversation about strip club and he's not a silly boy like he knows that they're pretty close do you know what I'm saying um but I think a strip club is different to a sex show. I think a strip club, it's, you know, they strip and they dance for you. And it's like, they, they want to make you feel wanted and they want to make you feel horny. Whereas a sex show, there's just, it's more of, it's a show. Do you know what I mean? It's like, whoa, you know, strip club, they're shows like they're some talented girls the strippers but it's about it's about seducing
Starting point is 00:18:27 the men right a sex show isn't so much about seducing them so I do think it's different um I personally would rather watch a man strip than have sex because I'd find that I'd find watching men stripping like funny and I'd be like whoa get your kit off get your kit off babe um but if I went to watch a sex show I think I'd feel uncomfortable and weird so it depends like why he went like if you ask him like did you go because you wanted to see the sex or did you go because it was like something completely random like so different to anything like we do here like is it was it the the madness of it that intrigued you like what just out of curiosity like what made you want to go and watch people having sex um but yeah like I said it doesn't matter if I think he should have done it because it's not about that it's about boundaries um you know he obviously didn't cheat on you and he just went to see a sex show
Starting point is 00:19:28 so it's just whether you're okay with it or not um I don't think it's a sackable offense at all I think you know you can get you can get past something like this but it just means that on his next holiday you're gonna have those feelings aren't you but then hopefully you can have these conversations no more sex shows daniel all right you little slut okay you should have eyes for my person my purse only thank you um but i love you well done for putting your boundaries in place like you're doing amazing you're doing amazing sweetie You're doing amazing, sweetie. Okay, next dilemma. Hey, honey, absolutely love the podcast. Been here since before. Quick dilemma. Thank you. Thank you, by the way. Quick dilemma. I'm super stuck with my job. I've been in the company five years and worked my way up from a temp to a team leader. I do love my job, but I'm just not enjoying it as much as I used to. I feel like there is potential to move up but I don't want to stay in a job just to see. I'm also unsure exactly what I want to do
Starting point is 00:20:29 with my career. Some days I want to work in a role, sorry work in the role I'm in and others I want to be a teacher and then others a wedding planner and it changes to different things. I'm 24, live on my own but feel like I should have my shit together a little bit more by now basically what I'm asking is would you wait around and potentially progress in the job I'm in or take the plunge and try something new lots of love okay first of all I want to say you are not alone in that like there are millions of girls your age our age that have worked really hard to get into a job and they've made it there and they think that I don't feel fulfilled this doesn't I you know I don't feel happy I worked all of this
Starting point is 00:21:13 all of these years and I still don't feel fulfilled like I don't feel like I'm where I want to be so don't worry about it like it's completely normal and so common. What I will say is, do you have a manager you can talk to and be like, this is how I'm feeling? You know, I absolutely love my job. You know, I'm so grateful for all the opportunities I've had and how you've brought me up from a temp and, you know, I feel really comfortable and happy here, but I do feel like there's something missing. I feel like I want to feel a bit more passionate about it. Is there, do you think there's any opportunities I feel like I want to feel a bit more passionate about it is that do you think there's any opportunities for me do you have any ideas how I can maybe get
Starting point is 00:21:50 a bit more fall a bit more in love with it um maybe have a conversation with your manager before you just decide it's not for you do you know what I mean um and also it's never too late to plunge and try something new so I think while you're confused I you know you don't need to do anything yet like you can you can come back to this idea in two three years if you want I mean you'll still only be in your 20s some people don't figure out what the fuck they want to do till their 30s so you know 40s 50s sometimes who fucking knows you know there's no timeline. People go through their own journeys in life. And there's no, there's no script. There's no way to do it. There's no way you shouldn't do it. There's no age. You should, you should be there by now. Like
Starting point is 00:22:37 if you're 24, you've worked so hard, you've got an amazing job that you've worked really hard to get to. And you're just feeling a bit stuck in it. that's all right you know also some people feel stuck for a while and then they fall back in love with it like people fall in and out of love with their career you know you can be in a bit of a rut at the moment you might fall back madly in love with it in in six months so I wouldn't worry too much about like should I just quit and do something new like you can of course you can if your gut is telling you to do that do it and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it but also I would suggest talking to your manager about it and see if she has any idea or any suggestions on how she can help because at the end of the day that is what they're there for
Starting point is 00:23:18 aren't they okay let's see so oh sorry I love you I love you i love you next dilemma hey leah i need some advice so i've been single now for a couple of months coming out of a relationship of just over a year the breakup was needed as we were just not compatible sexually i've recently been on my first date since breaking up and things may have got a bit heated and i slept with him on the first date since then he hasn't been making much of an effort to reply and just being a bit of a dick about it how do i go about cutting him off and just taking the l on this one i just feel like there's something wrong with me thank you girl love you and the podcast so much love you more okay first of all you're not taking an l like if somebody doesn't want you they're the one taking the l do you know what i'm saying like
Starting point is 00:24:02 you do not lose out if somebody if somebody doesn't want you you don't lose there is no loss we can only gain because now we are ready to meet somebody that is going to give you that so you win you also had sex with him it's not an L like great you got the dick absolutely fine that's all I needed from you on on on you go do you know what I mean so I wouldn So I wouldn't see it like that. I think maybe try and change your mentality towards it. Like you've been single. It's the first guy you've been seeing. You've slept with him. You know, you had a great night, hopefully. If not, then whatever. It was an average night. And he's just been a bit of a dick. And he's not
Starting point is 00:24:41 really that, you know, consistent. And as soon as he's had sex with you he's just sort of turned into little mr ghost and you know that's fine do you know what that's fine see you later i think try um try and just think you haven't lost i think try and change your mentality you know like you've come up relationship it wasn't for you that's absolutely fine you've been on a date had sex with somebody and he's just not been consistent with his energy so you know on to the next move on I don't mean like on to the next as in like on to the next dick I mean you absolutely can just get on to the next dick if that's what you want to do as long as he's got some sort of protection on um
Starting point is 00:25:22 and yeah I think um no loss there hun all all good experiences don't worry about it at all you've got nothing to feel low about you're a beautiful stunning girl and this is just the beginning of your your journey being single and you know it'll be like that sometimes you know I love you so much you're gonna you're gonna smash single life until you meet the love of your life um okay next dilemma do i text his mom after the breakup hi leah queen hi baby girl recently discovered your pod and i'm laughing away to myself in the office right now i feel like i'm on facetime with one of my girlfriends oh i love you so i recently listened to your breakup episode because i'm now one week out
Starting point is 00:26:01 from ending a three-year relationship with my boyfriend. Oh girl. We are both still friends and on great terms but I decided I needed to reclaim my independence and be on my own for a bit. I turned 24 in June and it was actually a shock to the system. I feel old and grey. Okay first of all congratulations and you should be so proud of yourself for making that decision. Do you know what? it's so much easier to stay with someone than it is to walk away it is so hard to walk away sometimes especially when there's nothing wrong with the relationship and you just need to do it for yourself it's really fucking hard so do you know what fair play to you from all of us um so my question is should i text his mom after the breakup i basically lived in his house every weekend and was super close with his fam and I don't want them to feel like what the fuck that girl has literally ghosted our entire family I don't know I'm sorry I don't know I need advice
Starting point is 00:26:54 and none of my girlfriends have been in a similar situation before thank you in advance for the advice also I will take any breakup advice you can give please keep me anonymous of course I love you so much um okay so I think yes ex's mum I you know I don't think there's anything wrong with reaching out to your ex's family and saying you know we didn't work out but thank you so much for letting me into your family you know you've been lovely to me I appreciate it so much if you ever need me I'll be there you know like I'll always have love for you I appreciate you like I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with that and I think she would really appreciate receiving a message like that because obviously she had a relationship with you if you lived in her house so yeah absolutely if you want to if
Starting point is 00:27:39 you feel like you have something you want to say um absolutely do that I think it's it's nice it's respectful you know um sometimes relationships just don't work out and you know you break up with the whole family like you break up with them but you also lose everybody else that you had a relationship with surrounding them um and that's that's another really hard part about breakup I remember when I'd go through breakups I would hate the thought of losing them but then I also hate the thought of losing everybody else like his family his friends like it's it's awful when you go for a breakup because you lose you lose so much at the same time so yeah absolutely I think text their mom and just say you know
Starting point is 00:28:22 thank you so much for letting me into your family you know you've you really welcomed me in and made me feel comfortable and appreciate you have me around all the time and you know just just letting her know that you appreciate it I think is sweet and just like you know best of luck of everything you know give the dog a cuddle from me you know what I mean yeah absolutely um i love you so much all right let's do another dilemma um so my ex and i started dating nearly a year ago and were together for eight months i did everything that i could to make him happy and was so close to his family things were going fine just as normal and he ended it one day with no explanation. Fuck. I was obviously left feeling lost and completely confused and took me a whole lot of crying and reminiscing before finally being able to carry on without him.
Starting point is 00:29:14 I obviously still missed him a lot. I found out he'd been with other girls just a few days after ending with me. This obviously was difficult to hear but wasn't anything I could do. After the breakup he genuinely treated me like shit i'd seen and heard a side of him i'd never seen before after a couple of weeks do you know what it always happens it's so sad you're and then and then you're so hurt because you think how am i in love with you at the same time that's the weird thing it's like they're so nasty but at the same time you're like i'm in love with you i love you and you and you're nasty
Starting point is 00:29:45 it's weird and then you don't recognize them and then you doubt the whole relationship you're like was that ever real i don't even know who you are anyway continuing on um okay i've never seen before after a couple of weeks i got a message from him asking me to add him back on snap snap because he missed me oh fuck off obviously you fucking miss me i'm a fucking catch obviously you miss me you're gonna miss me for the rest of your life darling stupidly i added him back but i know what an idiot move after a few days he decided he didn't want me back. Oh, fuck you. Actually, fuck you. That is so rude. Oh, you want me? No, actually, I don't want you. Fuck off. He didn't want me back. So I removed him again and that was that. Then again, a few weeks later,
Starting point is 00:30:38 I get another message. Him sending off photos saying he missed me and that he wanted to meet up to go on a walk to talk about what's been happening lately and to get his jumper back. Oh, get a new one. Get a new jumper. Fuck me. Fuck me. Which I know was too small for him, so it was obviously just a way of seeing me. Babes, that jumper could cost 300 quid and he would have left it if he didn't if he didn't give a shit about seeing you do you know what i mean i said i don't see why i'd ever want
Starting point is 00:31:11 to talk about what's been happening lately considering i knew all he was doing was getting with other girls and i didn't feel like it was appropriate after what he'd done but said if he wanted his jumper back he could come and get it from mine okay fair enough you know i don't want to talk to you if you want to jump i'll come and get it all right um he didn't come so obviously he showed me once again not to trust the boy a good no it didn't show well yeah it does show you not to trust him but more it just shows you he didn't want the jumper he wanted to fucking get you alone so he can manipulate you into missing him and giving him your time again so obviously showed me again not to trust the boy a good few weeks later he messaged me again saying he missed me
Starting point is 00:31:50 and that he wanted to talk oh my god so after a few days of him messaging me on instagram i gave in and added him back on snap he ended up coming to my door with my favorite snacks and sat down on my bed to talk we spoke for a bit and he told me all the things he did was his biggest regret and that it was his way of trying to get over me. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. I'm telling you now it's bollocks, right? He told me he was ready to do this again properly and I said to him that I have no trust for him and that what he did was going to take a lot of rebuilding. But if that's what he wanted, he'd try he'd try right wrong about a week and a bit goes by and he hadn't come to see me again once so i told him i assumed we weren't talking and he said i don't know so i called it off he's being a
Starting point is 00:32:36 mind fuck and i genuinely don't know what to do it's been a few months since we broke up but i still have feelings for him i don't know if we just need more time or if this is it, please help. Love you. Okay. Do you know what? I actually believe that, um, you deserve better than someone that isn't sure about you. Like he's, he don't, he's not sure if he wants you and that on its own, aside from his behavior is not good enough. You deserve someone that is sure about you. Full stop. The bare minimum we're going to ask from somebody is that they actually want to be with you. Not, yeah, I want to be with you.
Starting point is 00:33:16 But then like a week later, I don't really know. Like I kind of want to be able to do what I want and go and have sex with somebody else. But then when it's been a week and I haven't had any of your attention then it starts affecting my ego and I think oh shit she's actually getting over me can't have that I'm gonna have to slide into her fucking dms again and make sure that I'm still on her mind 24 7 before she actually falls out of love with me or loses feelings for me so listen I know people like him and I know what they're doing. He just wants to be relevant in your life all the time because it makes him feel like he has, is of some sort of significance. Um, and he's probably doing this to several girls. He's probably saying to other girls,
Starting point is 00:33:57 you know, I really like you. I just don't know if I want to be with you. And they're probably falling for it as well. So listen listen to me now you deserve so much better than someone that isn't sure about you and it's that simple okay just tell yourself that look in the mirror and say to yourself we're not gonna fucking go for someone that doesn't even know if they want to be with me we're not gonna give someone me i'm not gonna give somebody me all of me and they don't even know if they want it what the fuck do you know what i mean do you know how many people want this lots babe and you ain't getting it yeah so i actually think block delete report report for harassment
Starting point is 00:34:38 no but i genuinely do think block and delete and remove and move on with your life because he is just pulling you fucking down and holding you back in a way that is just not fucking fair like go away you're obsessed with me honestly no but really really really really girl you deserve so much better than someone that isn't sure about you and it's that simple so just keep reminding yourself of that all right i love you so much um let's have a little look oh my god god i'm tired guys all right let's have a look hey leah just want to say i love the pod so much it really feels like i've got a friend chatting to me whenever I listen. Oh, you have, you have. I am your friend. I've been with my boyfriend for about six months and things are going great. I love him so much and we're so happy together. However, the other day while he was asleep, I had to look for his photos on his
Starting point is 00:35:38 phone, not to find anything because I trust him fully and just literally to be nosy. And I found a recent screenshot of something from Pornhub he tells me he doesn't watch porn anymore since we've been together which I like because I don't really like the thought of my boyfriend watching porn probably because of my own insecurities but still I don't know what to do about it because I don't want him to think I don't trust him because I've been snooping through his phone but it wasn't like that but now I just feel sad that he's lied about not watching porn and the fact that he's screenshotted it is weird as well it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him and that he isn't sexually satisfied by
Starting point is 00:36:12 me if that makes sense thank you for your help okay so we actually did a weekly debate over here on Lear on the Line um quite a while back I think it was towards the beginning and it was are you okay with your partner watching porn and a lot of you said no a lot of you said no um so you know you're not alone in that um so that's okay what i would suggest is you know maybe he has that thing where if boys you know you know boys group chats right maybe he, when he's on WhatsApp in the group chat, somebody sent in a screenshot and been like, look at this, look at this fucking porn I watched. And he's got that thing on WhatsApp where it saves automatically to your camera roll. I actually
Starting point is 00:36:56 have that turned on. It's so annoying. I need to turn it off, but I never remember until I look, I look for my camera roll and I think, fuck me. Fuck me. So maybe it's that. Maybe it's actually just a lad's group chat thing and it's saved into his phone. Maybe it's not that deep. But also, you know, if he was watching porn, I don't know if he would have screenshot it. Because why would you? But it could have been an accidental screenshot. It could have been like a try to turn the volume up or down and accidentally screenshot it.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Do you know what I mean? I think if it's really, really playing on your mind, I would mention it and say, look, before I get into this, I just want you to know I absolutely do trust you. I would never accuse you of cheating I would never violate your privacy like this again because it is a little bit of a violation of privacy isn't it um I was just being really nosy like I wasn't actually I wasn't looking out of any bad intention like I was actually just being a nosy bitch and I saw like a screenshot of porn on your phone and I was just wondering like do you actually watch porn and then he might be like what are you talking about but at the same time maybe go back and listen to my debate about watching porn maybe that will make you feel a bit more heard and stuff but at the same time I really don't think you should worry too much obviously there's things there's certain things that some
Starting point is 00:38:21 people are okay with other people aren't but I don't think you should worry too much about your boyfriend watching porn because it's not the same as you know cheating or fancying someone or you know like only fans like it's literally actors they know it like it's just like easy material to just get a boner and relieve some some hormones yeah i don't think you need to worry too much about what that means for your relationship do you know what I mean if he is watching porn like I wouldn't worry about it if he is um but yeah if you feel comfortable I would just own up and say I really regret it like because now I've just got all in my head I will never do that to you again it was such a violation of privacy I won't do it again um but yeah like can we just talk about that so you know um there's
Starting point is 00:39:11 some options let me know what you do let me know the verdict was he watching porn the dirty dog what was it of what was it was it like blowjob plb was it like was it like blowjob POV? Was it like, was it like homemade? Was it teacher student? Anyway, guys, thank you so much for listening to another episode. Oh, wait, sorry. I always have to wrap up my dilemmas with I love you so much. Everything's going to be fine. I love you.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Yeah, keep us all updated on that one. Yeah, thank you so much for listening. I love you guys so much. I will speak to you on Friday. Send in your confessions. You've got two days to send in your confessions for Friday's episode. And yeah, thank you so much for all your love and all your support.
Starting point is 00:39:56 I'm about to hit 100K on TikTok. What the fuck? Can you believe it? I'm about to hit 100K. I'm so happy. I'm so proud of myself. So many of you will probably listen, like, Leah, babe, it's TikTok, get life. But it is my life. It literally is my life. I'm about to hit 100k I'm so happy I'm so proud of myself so many of you probably listen like Leah babe is TikTok get life but it is my life it literally is my life I'm so pathetic
Starting point is 00:40:09 like I need to grow up but I won't but yeah if you are one of my TikTok followers I love you honestly thank you we have such a good time over there I feel like we have such a good bond but you know over here on the podcast is where we're really really sisters sisters brothers and sisters and whatever you know so i will leave you guys to it enjoy the rest of your day enjoy the rest of your workout if you're at the gym enjoy the rest of your walk if you're walking walking the dog just out for a nice walk maybe you're driving what speed you going drive safe maybe speeding out there on these roads. All right. Whatever you're doing, enjoy it. I love you. Have the best day. You're worthy of the whole world. You're beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, funny, talented. And yeah, I love you so much. I'll talk to you on Friday. All right. I love you.

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