Leah on the Line - 54: Having sex on the first date & being ghosted... feat. MY BOYFRIEND! (Part 1)

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Hey besties! Today we have my boyfriend Jamie on the podcast eeeek!! For the weekly debate we discussed how we feel about sex on the first date and it was amazing to hear all of your thoughts on this ...too! The dilemmas ranged from dealing with being ghosted, to false promises after a breakup, to choosing between TWO GUYS! I hope you loved this podcast and enjoyed it as much as we did!! Thank you so so much for all of the love and support, I cannot thank you enough for being such amazing listeners/friends. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to leahontheline@gmail.com. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy tuesday hi everyone how are you happy tuesday sorry there was no episode on friday i was on strike. No, I wasn't on strike. Just things came up, things happened. We got stuck in London for the day and I just thought, you know what, everyone will be all right with me. No one's going to be angry. Do you know what I mean? Especially because I have an exciting guest. Finally got a guest on the podcast. It's been a while. Last guest I had was Maddie Grace Jepsen, so it's going to be hard to top. But, oh, haven't introduced you yet. Sorry. Everyone everyone this is my handsome boyfriend join introduce yourself i'm jamie rusa this is a hard launch he's really nervous i am quite
Starting point is 00:00:54 nervous yeah i don't know why he's scared i just know what your fans my fans are my friends friends fans whatever it is yeah yeah they all love you so i'm scared of the i love them so we're a team so if you say anything out loud they will be in your dms giving you shit i'm sure they will no i'm only joking they're all really lovely don't be scared i'll try not to be how you feeling on a scale of one two there's poo in my pants poo in my pants you're a bit close to the mic honey see this is what i mean gotta teach him yeah you just brush his beard against the microphone sorry guys it's what like what it's like oh no that's what it's like when he gets to kiss me brushing the beard you're getting red darling didn't you say that in school when you go red and everyone go oh you've gone red i know i can feel it my face is hot just for
Starting point is 00:01:43 the clarification of that i'm not going red and there will be a video you'll see that i'm not red because i'm hard oh yeah correct there will be a video also i've got some really exciting news do you guys remember when i was like oh like we should bring out some iced coffee cups they'd be so fun it's happening it's literally happening one of you guys absolutely babe angel sent to me from above she was like i literally do this for a business she has this incredible like amazing business that she just made up on her own i think like she's smashing it i've shown you haven't i babe yeah you have it it looks good and she's amazing so we're gonna do it together and i'm really really excited because to be honest
Starting point is 00:02:19 even if one of you get one i'll just love having matching cups of my bestie do you know what i mean are you gonna get one of course i am yeah i'm definitely gonna be sipping out of that yeah yeah i like your t-shirt yeah just head over to uh instagram and tiktok to see the t-shirt guys little soft launch it is anyway we're really excited to do it so keep your eyes peeled for them they're gonna be amazing she's so talented and i'm really really excited to drink my iced coffee in the morning out of a lure on the line style cup baby i can't wait to take it to work with me you better i will i'll be showing it off he's got a lure on the line car freshener aren't you i do and i'll never take it out i did buy it for him
Starting point is 00:02:58 yeah but it's just one of them in it i'll never take it out. It doesn't smell good anymore either. No. It's a bit scabby actually. Ouch. Yeah. You're not scabby are you? No. But anyway, we're really excited because it's nice to have the boy brain on the podcast
Starting point is 00:03:13 because this is a very girl space, you know. It is. We do have the lovely occasional boy listener but majority of my, what's the word? Audience.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Yeah, not audience. View, oh I don't fucking know basically my like percentage of what is it there's a word for it i don't know viewer interaction no no we're gonna be here all week audience something anyway they're like massively percented that's not english no it's not no it's really not massively percented towards girls i was gonna say do you know i'm gonna love it incorrect i'm gonna love about being on this podcast do you know the amount of times i listen to leah say what is it what is that and i'm there going yeah he has to
Starting point is 00:03:55 mouth to me you know when i always say what's that saying what's that word i'm in the background going i've got a degree i haven't i'm I'm smart. I'm just... You are smart, but you just... I go a bit... There's so much going on in that brain that I just think... Yeah, baby. It's just overwhelming. It's a big old brain. It's a big old brain with a small little head.
Starting point is 00:04:14 I have got a pea head. I was... We was in the gym together earlier and we was looking in the mirror and I was like, my head is the same width as my neck. That... It is. It's not true. It is.
Starting point is 00:04:23 It's not true. And then I've just got these little elf ears i don't mind them you're very petite in every single way thank you and it's just beautiful but your neck is not the same size as your head no i've got a long neck yeah all right anyway moving on guys anyway do you think you can top talia mart or granny not a chance oh my god we keep doing this recently i was about to say granny mace jefferson right we keep doing this recently. We do, we do. I was about to say Granny Mace Jepsen, right? We keep doing it, don't we? So we was watching a film the other day called Plane
Starting point is 00:04:49 and I literally was like, isn't it weird how the, what did I say? Isn't it weird how the flying's just plain in itself? Like, and I always just say things the wrong way around and you do as well. Yeah, I do. But this is another thing, right? We're watching a film and she's in the cinema,
Starting point is 00:05:02 bearing in mind, and she just talks all the way through it. Fuck off! You do as well! But she comes out with, isn't the plane flying? No, isn't the flying plane itself? Look at the flying plane in itself.
Starting point is 00:05:12 And we just start pissing ourselves. It's a really serious film and we're just at the back of the road just pissing ourselves. Yeah, I always do things like that though. Yeah, you do and we both do it actually. Do you think it's because like my brain can't keep up with the speed of my mouth?
Starting point is 00:05:24 I think that's just the case in every single way in it really nothing can keep up with me no not even me no certainly not you definitely not me anyway we are going to do a part one and a part two which is really exciting because i put i put up a story saying do you want dilemmas weekly debate the huge or do you want to know about the boy brain do we want to do some fun games do we want to do a q a and you guys want all of it so i thought let's do part one and part two part one is going to be the weekly debate and dilemmas and it's going to be really exciting and helpful to have you and your boy brain i'll give my best best effort you're quite good at things like that yeah we do talk all the time don't we with the podcast yeah he always gives me his input
Starting point is 00:06:04 when i finish recording and she's like yeah save that for the episode but it's been saying that for about three months now yeah we just haven't got around to doing it but it's i'm glad to be on guys i'm so honored but i just realized i probably sound like tom of love island you know that yeah it's lovely that yeah great but i promise i'm not boring. Yeah, he is just Northern. It's just how we sound. We just sound like that. Do you want to go to a shop? Do you want anything from shop?
Starting point is 00:06:31 Just park Garant Road. Garant Road. One of them, innit? But I promise I'm not boring. No, he's not boring. I wouldn't be if he's boring. I don't like boring. No, exactly.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Exactly. Anyway, we're really excited. The weekly debate this week is going to be interesting. I'm excited. Can you remember clue you can't remember you didn't tell me so i'm not gonna tell you you can i told you you said i'm not gonna tell you anything and you're just gonna you idiot i've told you and i said how about this and you said yeah yeah that's good that's a good idea that's great um it was about um i actually do know it yeah well we're gonna get to it so and you're gonna go oh yeah you did tell me that one thing i need to learn leah is that you are always right sleeping with someone on first date isn't it on first date yeah yeah about that
Starting point is 00:07:18 uh joking i've got a good opinion on that why is that something you've done a lot is it fuck heads up we may argue we're not gonna argue we might we're not gonna keep bickering that's a lie no it's literally the truth alright it's the truth
Starting point is 00:07:35 we're gonna argue because you're jealous and I'm jealous I'm not that jealous though that is absolutely I'm literally not I'm the most chill that is gonna come up
Starting point is 00:07:42 in part of this episode that you are just not jealous so you'll see yeah I'm not I'm gonna go in on you go for it darling I will so I'm literally not. I'm the most chill. That is going to come up in part of this episode that you are just not jealous. So you'll see. Yeah, I'm not. I'm going to go in on you. Go for it, darling. I will.
Starting point is 00:07:51 So I'm literally, I'm like Tom on Love Island. Oh, don't think you have me. I'm so relaxed. I'm the most relaxed person you'll ever meet. I don't sweat, honey. You just sweat over everything else other than jealousy. Yeah. Other than like things. I sweat about things I can control.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah, but you can control yeah but you can control a bit of emotion and show some care oh who's coming out now he wants me to be psycho jealous and i'm not because i'm secure myself and i love myself good for you i'm not yeah you are do you feel loved by me yeah out of 10 10 oh perfect i love you i do what was that about all right guys let's get into the answer the question uh do you just fucking cut me off my fucking podcast well you need to answer right what's the question do you feel loved by me yeah i said yeah. You went mm. I said mm. Cash gram. Cash gram. Come on. What?
Starting point is 00:08:46 Out of 10. 10! Good. Right, continue. Sure. Cheers. Let's get into the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Leah on the Line.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Remember to leave a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and hit the notification bell. You can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leahontheline at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leahontheline and at leonavain to see visual clips of the podcast. I love you. Enjoy the episode. Okay, everyone, let's get into the boyfriend episode. Woohoo! Woohoo! You excited?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Fucking buzzing. You'll relax as you get into it. I feel a bit more relaxed now i've introduced myself i remember when i had talia and maddie and i was shitting myself even though they're both like so nice and like the most unreal people like they're just normal and i was just scared to do a podcast in front of someone because i was so used to doing it alone yeah well you talk about them all the time they seem really nice from what you said yeah never met them but they seem really i have i know you have you're here enough i'm proud you should be they're really really nice people well they were people and they've worked hard for
Starting point is 00:09:50 what they've gotten oh too right we actually have a song for you prepared oh my god yeah you bet i've just realized yeah what's gonna go down right now i'm gonna start our day i don't think you're ready one a two a one two you said you love me you love you you're my tommy no that's the wrong thing no it ain't you said you love me yeah i love you you're my tommy you're my molly and i never wanna lose this love never gonna gonna it's gonna recouple sorry god's sake you just can't get the fucking stuff make it through to the fucking boot camp honestly we was just pissing listening to that song yesterday can we try it again i'm ready yeah you said you love me yeah should we try really hard yeah go on you weren't trying hard no all right was you no you just fart? no that was you I was not
Starting point is 00:10:45 come on next come on let's do it you said you love me yeah I love you you're my Tommy you're my Molly and I never gonna lose this love
Starting point is 00:10:55 you said gonna lose this love right this is not gonna work no it's not okay the song it's not compatible oh this is not gonna work
Starting point is 00:11:03 in singing anyway the weekly debate honey i'm intrigued i'm scared intrigued about this honestly don't roast me if i had to get it wrong okay guys the weekly debate this week is how do you feel about sex on the first date do you want to read the listeners opinions first or do you want to kick off with yours and kick off with mine if you want go on then so sex on the first day it definitely depends on a number of different things and for me what are they i'm gonna tell you okay so if you've only just met the person like let's say on a night out i can understand like yeah drunken whatever you just there's loads of different reasons first
Starting point is 00:11:45 date all right so first first date yeah first day they've been talking they're going out okay so how long i've been talking this is what i'm about to say right you don't over complicate the weekly debate i'm an overthinker what do you expect from me no honestly it does depend on like the length of time you've been speaking to someone because let's say you've just met after four days of speaking or three days or whatever it is. And I don't know. I think that's maybe a bit of a red flag. Ooh, from her? From either side.
Starting point is 00:12:16 That's where I get really protective over women when I talk to boys. It's not about protection. There's obviously things behind it. You could realize that this person is just insane, but it's a bit like the love bomb thing. If you're going to go in with love bombing and you're saying all these things, I think sex is quite a big act.
Starting point is 00:12:33 It depends on the person, but for me it's quite a big act. Do you? Yeah. Do you think it's deep? I think it's deep for a guy because we... Like, girls can get it easy, I say i think i think if a girl wants to sleep with someone that can and a guy can't just sleep with everyone do you know what i mean i think a girl could literally say to most guys come fuck me and they would no they would like
Starting point is 00:12:58 you think guys are that easy i think a lot of guys are very easy look at the yeah and i think a girl it's harder um to get for a guy especially if it's someone like they see is prestigious so i've always gone with the idea that when you go on a first date with someone they already have an idea of what they want from you whether that be a shag just nothing serious but to get to know you or a relationship that is so true as well so like do you think it's true because i've always had this theory and i heard somebody else say it and i thought i think it yeah no that's that's a good theory i'd say that's that's definitely accurate like you'd know within you'd know from initial attraction as long as you're not getting catfished that you just think well yeah i definitely could see myself well i think it depends on your
Starting point is 00:13:46 gut feeling in that talking stage before the first date yeah if you're getting some some sort of vibe yeah if their replies are quick or if they're a bit hit and miss if you don't really know if they're into you if you don't even really know if they fancy you or if they're really over sexual with you in text and stuff yeah that's when i'd be like this guy doesn't want to be with me no i do and then i wouldn't have sex with him i agree i agree but also just going back to the sleeping someone on the first date i know a lot of people like a lot of men especially i don't know what it is they'll say oh that's not wifey material but i disagree i think yeah because like i think if you had if you'd met someone and you was talking and you was like she's literally everything i'm looking for in a girlfriend and then she put out on the first date you're not going to go oh she was great until then yeah you're going to be like amazing i
Starting point is 00:14:38 think it's a big excuse this is what i was even talking to before when you put it out i think it's a big excuse for a guy to say oh no, no, you slept with me on the first date. I'm not really interested. Guys don't say that, though. No, they don't. They'll think of any other excuse. I think if it puts them off, they weren't really looking to be with you in the first place.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Yeah, but this is where the difference happens. When it's boys talking to boys and they say, oh, what was wrong with her? Oh, she slept with me on the first date. Does that happen? Yeah. Well, don't sleep with her then. That's what I mean. It's two people doing it at the end of the day like you don't know why it's different for men and women is it goes down to like body count as well
Starting point is 00:15:12 like that's a massive thing but that's another issue yeah but have you seen the thing where it's like oh you think she's easy because she had sex with you on the first date but if she was wearing a matching set of underwear then she only wanted sex with you as well. Yeah, exactly. So you were fucking easy. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Right, let's see what you guys say. I did it and I've now had my boyfriend for two years, though sometimes I did it and was ghosted.
Starting point is 00:15:34 That's what I mean. I do think you can do it and it's not going to change what they already felt before you did do it. Yeah, of course. Like for me and you, I'll see you for the rest of my life yeah and we slept together on our first date yeah thanks for that sorry exclusive
Starting point is 00:15:52 you little fucker it was it's great shut up sorry stop talking now but no like it doesn't change my opinion i think if it is the right person yeah it's the right person and your intentions are clear because some people could just be talking prior just talking about sex and that's all it's about and then yeah you know that leads into either friends with benefits or it's just a one-time thing and i also just think no regrets like to the girl who just said that and i was ghosted like oh well like you got sex out of it like don't take it personally yeah exactly and you've got to go through these experiences too someone says you've got to try before you buy very true because what if you it is true what if you don't have any sexual connection at all it's so possible
Starting point is 00:16:35 so possible someone says if you want to feel comfortable and are safe and consenting then go for it yeah i heard you earlier on another podcast yeah like if they don't want to wrap up so unattractive oh gross says a lot about them doesn't it yeah or at least offer yeah i mean if they don't even suggest oh we should probably use a condom that means he doesn't say that to any girl we slept with and then you have to question whether you're okay with that willy being in you exactly i mean yeah just be careful not for me but would never judge anyone else i just need more trust before intimacy i can 100 understand that as well i think it really depends how you see sex like if you see it as like um i need to trust you i need to know who you are i
Starting point is 00:17:19 need to know your intentions before i give myself to you which is a normal way to feel as well yeah i can understand it but then if you're like i don't really care like sex isn't that deep yeah i mean for me sex is deep and when it comes to me me and you for example we were talking for ages and i had to build that up with you if we'd have met like after a couple of days it wouldn't have happened i don't think it might have done i can't judge that but like from the moment get go with yous yeah it wasn't just like sexing sexting or flirting like it was it was actually getting to know each other yeah it wasn't sexting and shit it was like right people still sexed yeah at our age yeah what like when i see you i'm gonna rip up up. Do people say that? I mean, some of them people might just be all talk. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:18:09 I think it's all talk nowadays. Not do. Yeah. If you're going to be like that, then come on. Yeah. Walk the walk, honey. Don't want to give yourself too much of a big up. Yeah, this is the thing.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Yeah. That you're saying in the bar. Back in the day. Oh, go on. You definitely used to sex, don't you? No, i didn't i'm joking all right if the chemistry is there it's something it's sometimes just gonna happen yeah that's the thing like go with the flow but then i always say to my friends like when they're
Starting point is 00:18:39 going on first date and i say are you gonna sleep with him and then they go oh i don't know or they go no no no and i'm like have you shaved your purse i mean if the answer is yeah i'm like the door's open i actually want to ask this question right i bet so many people on the first date especially girls because not every guy shaves but i know girls have that pressure well i always say to people who like have been burnt in the past from having sex with someone the first time they've met and stuff or been ghosted loads and then they're scared of being rejected like that again. I would say, well, when you go on a first date with them, if you know I'm really going to want to shag them and you just don't want to do it, don't shave and wear ugly granny pants. It's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:19:18 That just will stop you completely. Yeah. And then you'll force yourself to give them more time to prove themselves what if the burning desire is just there and he's like look i've got granny pants i haven't shaved and he's just like well then maybe it's real maybe it's real yeah yeah it was a no for me before i met my current boyfriend it just felt right we've now been together two years i feel like you know sometimes yeah you definitely do yeah you definitely do and yeah i don't think there's any kind of general consensus no like what actually should happen completely up
Starting point is 00:19:51 to the person if you're feeling it and it's safe slash consensual go for it if you get good vibes and want to then go for it there's zero rules when it comes to this it's preference based if you want to have sex get it girl i agree i agree i agree i guess everyone is on the same page of just like it's none of my business what anyone else wants to do of course it is and i just think if you're going to judge on that then i don't know i find it so stupid to judge on yeah because you do whatever people were saying that they did it and now they've been together years exactly but some people were like i won't even kiss you on the first date which i can get as well yeah Yeah, I can get that.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Do you know what I mean? Again, it goes to each individual, doesn't it? Whatever they feel comfortable with, whatever they want to do, whatever boundaries they set, don't know, respect them. Yeah. Oh, love that, everyone.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Great weekly debate. Great. Anything else you'd like to add? No, just that you look absolutely unreal. Oh, thank you. You want to get out of here? Let's go. Okay, let's get into the dilemmas
Starting point is 00:20:46 okay everyone it's dilemmas time and we have a male to help us a male a male the mailman's here the mailman that's me no oh you were a mailman i was actually oh my god oh i've already told them i was about to be like let's talk about when we went to that medium guys we're going to see him again we are we haven't booked it yet but we've decided we're going to see him again in march we are he's just unrealistic yeah i remember you sat in the room with him and i heard him say to my boyfriend oh by the way i keep calling my boyfriend jamie jamie i forget i can't just say his name what the you're literally right here and i've just said my boyfriend it's because i'm just saying proud i don't mind anyway and jamie was sat in the room
Starting point is 00:21:34 with him and i sat outside and i could hear everything and he goes to him straight away why aren't you a copper anymore i started crying and if anyone doesn't know he used to be a policeman i did and i might be going back yeah and on our very first date i said to him like can you restrain me and i did i actually did i was like can you just restrain me because i've always had this idea that i'd be able to get out of it genuinely like i've always had this idea in my head that if someone tried to kidnap me i'd be like a fucking whippet like they just wouldn't be able to pin me down yeah well how did that go incorrect the thing is right i was face plant on
Starting point is 00:22:05 the bed i was like well this is very embarrassing so you're bending me over and we've been around each other for about 10 minutes too much information darling the thing is right if you don't well you do know leah because you're listening but she's literally i used to call her a rottweiler yeah she's feisty sexy five foot two slash three five foot well apparently i'm five foot 2.9 i always thought it's five three and a half and that's why i said slash three yeah because i know my girl's height right but anyway she is fierce and she do you think i'm fierce yeah i reckon you you definitely couldn't get yourself out of restraint but you um i've already thought i could you can talk yourself out of it i reckon i genuinely hand on heart i thought i've got it in the bag easy try and restrain me good luck with that honey i'm going straight out
Starting point is 00:22:47 yeah she yeah i couldn't even move a thumb she was wrapped up like a christmas i was like it's turning me on it's turning me on she's like stop no i turned around i was like will you be my boyfriend no i didn't you did that's how it happened guys that's it that's uh the love story no no i'm joking but it was fun but when i first saw him on my tiktok well it's actually the second time if you want to know all the weird things about how the universe brought us together i uploaded a tiktok recently about all these weird coincidences that happened before we met so yeah so check it out but anyway um so the second ever tiktok that he posted that came up my for you page was him in his police uniform and i fully thought he's a stripper i was like there's no way like he
Starting point is 00:23:28 someone is in police uniform and looks that sexy like they don't actually walk around the streets looking like that surely not anyway and he told me he quit so i was relieved relieved and actually kind of talked me back in only because you still love it so much and i think everyone says that you're so good at it so i think yeah i do love it i do miss it but um yeah i've had some i'll probably revisit and guys look what he's taught me you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defense if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court anything you do say may be given in evidence do you understand motherfucker you have the right to suck my dick motherfucker you ever seen 22 jump straight of
Starting point is 00:24:05 course i have i think that was in 21 actually not 22 yeah no of course of course i've seen it drop my nuts on your motherfucking forehead have you seen it of course i have but then i because i've seen so many american things what did i always keep saying when you was trying to teach me the rights you have the right to remain silent you have the right to remain silent in a court of law. Maybe held against you in a court of law. Put your hands up, motherfucker. That's what she was like. Put your head behind your head, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Literally. Every single time. It was like one of them things. I don't know if anyone's seen Friends, but we're trying to teach in French, Joey. Every time I was saying, you do not have to say anything. She was like, you have the right to remain silent it's just so wrong honestly you don't even actually say anything close to that nothing absolutely nothing but she just said you
Starting point is 00:24:54 have the right to an attorney yeah you have the right to an attorney you do not have to say anything but it may be held against you in a color law card put your hands in the cup motherfucker that's what it was like honestly and she tends up and everything she'd go proper like american yeah that was so wrong but every time we watch a police show oh my god if i haven't said it already you all need to watch happy valley it's fucking sick it's the best i've ever watched all the little details like even from the police side it's yeah you reckon they've got it spot on haven't you all the little codes yeah codes and I find it helpful
Starting point is 00:25:27 because like he'll tell me who's what position in the police because of their stripes on their uniforms yeah they'll be like
Starting point is 00:25:32 she's a sergeant I'm like oh interesting but every time they arrest someone I always watch it and I'm like you don't have to say if you want me
Starting point is 00:25:39 I'm in defence if you do not mention my questions I'll be you later like in court I just always have to say it don't I detective yeah
Starting point is 00:25:44 and I reckon you'll be good in the police I reckon I'll be a brilliant policewoman you'll be a beast you have the right to remain silent you have the right
Starting point is 00:25:52 to suck my dick motherfucker right anyway let's get into the dilemmas guys sorry about that no insolute there okay so we're gonna take turns
Starting point is 00:26:01 reading them as always whenever I get guests on do you think you can handle it yeah I'll give it a go okay right first one hi Leah So we're going to take turns reading them as always, whenever I get guests on. Do you think you can handle it? Yeah, I'll give it a go. Okay. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:08 First one. Hi Leah. I love your podcast and your attitude to life. Jesus. Oh, thank you. She does have a good attitude. Bad one with me.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Yeah, I've got a bad attitude. Fat foot three, six foot attitude. Remember when everyone used to say that? Six foot attitude. It's in Dubai. Anyway, carrying on. I've been seeing this guy let's call him tom for three months all was going great and i was starting to really catch feelings i told him what i expected from him and he proved to me
Starting point is 00:26:37 he was willing to put in the work and to meet my expectations and boundaries gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous sounds great so far yeah out of nowhere he completely ghosted me we was out on the saturday night and i text him saying have a good night excited to see you tomorrow no reply sunday comes and we had plans around 4 p.m i saw that he was active on facebook so i rang him he didn't pick up but remained active on facebook oh ouch that's a song it's just completely airing you there it is i thought hmm let's try calling him on facebook no response after a few calls and texts that have remained unanswered i've accepted i've been totally ghosted by this guy i was starting to like completely out of the blue my only explanation i can think of is that he
Starting point is 00:27:24 slept with someone on saturday night and didn't know how to handle it i'm completely confused and a little bit delusional as i still think that maybe there's a valid reason i'm wondering if he's okay but i think i'm struggling to accept he just doesn't want to speak to me anymore i think if i had an answer from him it would be easier to accept this but i don't think i'll be getting that from him do you have any advice on how to deal with this painful situation i'm a confident girl and have no struggle getting my attention however i really like this boy and i'm scared to invest my energy into someone again it's been 10 days now and i still haven't heard from him and probably never will 10 days is a long time sorry it's a long one would be happy to hear any advice you may have on how to deal with someone ghosting you lots
Starting point is 00:28:03 of love i love you this is a tough one that is tough but i think she's onto the right kind of idea yeah i can see where you're coming from i can see how he might have done that yeah for me do you want to go first no you go because i'm not sure so from a male perspective i do actually think you've you've kind of hit the nail on the head if he's gone out on the saturday you knew he's going out on the saturday something might have happened on that saturday so to be the bearer of bad news let me throw a spanner in the works let's say he did have sex with someone on saturday yeah and then he's ghosted her he's decided he doesn't want to be with her yeah rather than going oh fuck yeah i don't think it's more of like oh fuck i do think it's more of like um he might have been speaking
Starting point is 00:28:44 to other women he might have had an old flame that he's seen out in town he's like oh god i've rekindled it and i just want to drop everything else yeah maybe he was talking to somebody else and now they've got all his attention so it's a tough one but what you do need i do think you need that closure do you maybe if you if that's what you're dying for do you know what i think this is my personal opinion yeah because i feel like i know boys quite well i think you do and i think if you've ghosted someone and they're in your phone calling you texting you why have you ghosted me what have i done to you what happened on saturday night he will just go oh run run run if you just give him nothing i think you're more likely to get an explanation
Starting point is 00:29:27 i disagree really because i imagine that if say like i'd ghosted someone and then he's messaging me and he's like what happened what happened i'm like oh my fucking god just take the hint i do get your point i just think for me he's i do see it as like a situation where he's dropped everything else so unfortunately you're part of that everything else and he wants to he'll only come to you when that fails or that's not going as well as he thought yeah and you might get your closure then fair enough yeah I agree with you but I just think if you're dying for that closure I won't go chasing it and be like oh you you go to me you're this and this and this and calling him constantly i'd maybe just compose a message and say look if anything
Starting point is 00:30:10 i don't know i always say no to the long text because they don't care like this is the thing right i just think he's ghosted you for 10 days you could tell him you've really upset me i really liked you he doesn't care no that's true like he's just gonna think oh my god i think you've got obsessed with me yeah it could it could be seen as that i just think you've got to think of number one in this situation you you and you've got to you know get back on thinking about you and if that's you know i think let it go yeah listen if it's gonna hurt if it's gonna cause you that much trouble to lose it i don't think it's worth like crying over any boy whether it be three years whether it be a couple of months speaking someone same for men to women you you you were fine before them you're fine now yeah and you
Starting point is 00:30:55 just get on with your life and just make sure that you you know i don't know how to explain it but ghosting does happen and people do the hardest part about ghosting is the rejection yeah and it's the unknown like if you don't actually get that um why did it happen and people do do it. I think the hardest part about ghosting is the rejection. Yeah, and it's the unknown. Like if you don't actually get that, why did it happen? Some people struggle with that. You will come up with a million different reasons and you will justify it.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Like you'll be like, oh, maybe this happened. You know, maybe it's not as bad as I think. My advice, genuinely, you can give yours as well if yours is totally different to mine. My advice would be give him nothing, say nothing, accept him go move on with your life focus on yourself you'll probably meet somebody else like you said you're confident you don't struggle getting male attention like you'll be fine if you're going to get an explanation i think it won't be from asking him and asking him and asking him he'll just come to you when he sees that you've moved on like this
Starting point is 00:31:43 is the thing when someone actually like lets go of someone they come running fucking towards you sometimes and like he could just be like oh shit i go sir she's literally not even bothered and then he might come to you and be like hey i'm so sorry like blah blah because he'll need an ego boost and he'll need to know that you still give a fuck yeah i do agree and i do think that like i just in regards to the actual dilemma itself like you were just like kind of annoying yourself as to why and if you really wanted the answer i'd leave it at one last message that's what i'm trying to get at not a long one just say look i'm not annoyed blah blah blah just what was the reason but if you really need that that's what i'd say other than that i agree with leah completely and i just think that work on yourself when he does come crawling back because he might genuinely do there's quite
Starting point is 00:32:28 probably quite high percentage if if he wants to you'll be much better off than him this is the thing if he does come if he wants to come calling back and he will and if he doesn't then there's your answer yeah exactly and i think when he does come crawling back you'll be a better version of yourself you might be ready better version of yourself. You might have another fella. You'll be ready to hear it. Yeah, you might have another fella. You might not even want to bother hearing to his explanation. Yeah, just be cautious and focus on yourself.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Don't let him back in. Don't do it personally. You're not a second option. No, you don't get to do that and then just come running back. Definitely not. I'm a real person. His intentions weren't right with you, unfortunately. He's shown his true colours, hasn't he?
Starting point is 00:33:06 Yeah, definitely. Well, there you go. All right, your turn. Yeah. Over to you, honey. This is going to be about you, though, isn't it? Hello. Hi, Leah.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I am here, by the way. First of all, I just want to say how much I bloody love the pod and you. Oh, I love you so much. And I mentioned the boyfriend. I listen to you on my way to work and on my hot girl warts getting steps in yeah just getting my steps in my love just getting my steps in my steps in shirley got any money i give you 10 pound my love you got enough money anyway that actually says anyway as well anyway i need you help your help i'm sure yeah i'm sorry
Starting point is 00:33:42 this is going to be a long one. That's okay. Why have you given me the long one? We've got time. So I've been with my boyfriend now for almost two years. We'll call him Dean. Lol. Dean. Dean sounds like a dangerous man.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Doesn't sound like a very dangerous man. What are you trying to do? Dean sounds like he gets in trouble. He does. Dean is... He's in trouble. He's usually the bad one, isn't he? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I love Dean. We've had a rocky two years, but no matter what we go through, neither of us give up on each other. And love each other through the bad and the good. For reference, we're both 21, but as you know, boys tend to... Sorry, is it annoying if I give my thoughts while you read? I thought I'd misread it, yeah. No. We're both 21, but as you know, boys tend to mature later than girls.
Starting point is 00:34:23 You fucking bet they do. And that appears quite evident in some aspects of our relationship. Yeah, you're really about 12. Me? I'm only joking. That's him. Sometimes he's not the most intelligent. You got this, babe.
Starting point is 00:34:37 I don't. Listen to me, how I read. True. Sometimes he's not the most emotionally intelligent, which is something I need in a relationship oh yeah do you know what we're not teaching boys how to treat women no i can't babysit no a lot of our relationship has been me teaching him how to love me which is supposed to be sounds like hell it does to be fair which is supposed to be in it which is supposed to an extent is normal which i
Starting point is 00:35:01 suppose it isn't come on honey you got this put yourself together boy don't ever talk shit about my listeners ever again i'm not talking shit anyway but after two years surely it would be second nature question question question oh yeah he never does anything intentional to hurt me and he's the most trustworthy person but sometimes he just doesn't think and he's so blasé about everything and laid back. I want someone to take control a bit more. Yes. But that's just Dean. This is where it gets interesting.
Starting point is 00:35:28 I had a fling from October 2020 to March 2021. Okay. It's quite a while, isn't it? Before I got with Dean, this was, let's call him Marcus. Me and Marcus always got on very well. It was never awkward between us, could talk for hours, and he's 27. Oh, yeah. And I liked that he was older.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Yeah. I want to be looked after too. Yeah. Not mothering my boyfriend all the time. Yeah, preach it, baby. I called things off with Marcus in March, and I wrongly used the excuse of I wasn't ready for anything serious. But it really was that I didn't find him sexually attractive.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Oh, can't have it all, can we? Can't have it all. I can appreciate that he's attractive, but for some reason I couldn't imagine myself getting down and dirty. Right, so he hasn't got that... He hasn't got that... Yeah. Due to the time of the fling, we were still kind of in a lockdown restrictions, so we only ever had one date. And then we'd just meet up and go for drives.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Oh, that's sweet. That is quite sweet. We only ever kissed, so I don't know if we'd be meet up and go for drives oh that's sweet that is quite sweet we only ever kissed so i don't know if we'd be sexually compatible fast forward me and dean started seeing each other at the end of april 2021 throughout mine and dean's whole relationship marcus has been in contact here and there i blocked him at certain points and then unblocked oh no she's got something for marcus that she can't let go of marcus mar. But he's always said how much he wishes I'd have given it a chance with him. And no matter how hard he tries with other people, his mind always comes back to me. Oh, Marcus.
Starting point is 00:36:54 When we were seeing each other, we used to talk about travelling a lot and how it was something we'd both really like to do. This year, me and Dean finally set a date for our travels to Australia. Oh, so she's travelling with the boyfriend? With the new boyfriend. Okay. Right. We were planning to date for our travels to Australia. Oh, so she's travelling with the boyfriend? With the new boyfriend. Okay. Right. We were planning to go for a year in December.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Today, I was napping in Dean's bed while he was at rugby training, and I got woken up to Marcus ringing me. Marcus is just so there. He's just there. He said his plans for Oz have changed, and he's no longer going with his friend, and there's no one he wants to go with more than me. He said I'm the love of his life and he wants to be with me.
Starting point is 00:37:29 He said he feels safe with me. Marcus? Yeah, Marcus. She's the love of his life? 100%. He said he feels safe with me and everything feels right. He said it's been two years since I ended it and it's never been able to get over me. And he's never been able to get over me. He also said I deserve to be treated better than the bare minimum I currently get
Starting point is 00:37:45 and he would do anything to be with me. So she's been slagging off Dean to Marcus. What do I do? Leave my boyfriend of almost two years and go to Oz with a boy I was seeing for six months? Or stay with Dean and let Marcus go to Australia on his own? Help. I'm in such a pickle.
Starting point is 00:38:01 Love you. Bye. And we do have pics for reference. okay let's see the pickies so there's there's marcus oh he looks lovely he looks lovely nice smile yeah very nice boy seems searchable the way we're describing him makes him sound like he's really ugly he's not no he's not at all no and then we have dean bad boy dean Oh my God, you are a beautiful, beautiful girl. Look at that skin. Look at them brows.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Lovely teeth. On holiday, by the looks of it. Yeah, on holiday. Already shared some experiences with Dean. He's got a lovely smile. Yeah. You look happy. You do look happy.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Too bad he's a child and you have to mother him and teach him how to love you. Too bad you're not emotionally intelligent. Anyway. Okay, so here's my thoughts. There's a lot to debrief. A lot to unravel here. Immediately, like neither i agree to an extent that's not my final thought okay immediately i'm like neither okay because if it was marcus there'd be no dean if it was dean there'd be no marcus right on the other hand i'm like right let's look at our relationship with dean we're celebrating the bare minimum with Dean.
Starting point is 00:39:05 And you've already said yourself, you know, you're getting the bare minimum. Emotional intelligence is huge. Massive. It is huge. Like, we don't want to have to explain to somebody why what they did was wrong or why you're upset or what is and what isn't acceptable. Like, it's just exhausting. And it becomes becomes it just becomes fucking crap there's yeah there's leeway for some things i mean some things upset other people and
Starting point is 00:39:31 you don't realize but that level of emotional intelligence she said she has to teach him how to love her yeah that's that's not on yeah like i'm not trying to raise someone else's son no do you know what i mean no definitely not and marcus he's emotionally intelligent he's older he's going to us he can't get he can't get her off his mind i can't get enough of her i'm team marcus in this situation and i'll tell you why you probably don't want to hear this because you're with dean you love dean you want me to say stay with dean everything's gonna be fine but i personally feel like the issues we have with dean are actually pretty major massive and the things marcus is offering you is just what you deserve yeah i agree i've got a lot to say go on go on so from my perspective right so there's a lot of things that stand out to me
Starting point is 00:40:21 and i'm sure you'll agree the fact that that you unblock, block, unblock. There's still something within you that actually still wants Marcus. And I know he's not a dean, and you've got a lot of... I wouldn't stay with someone for a level of time. And also, this was a lockdown relationship, so they couldn't actually... If you don't have that sexual attraction that can be understandable sometimes sometimes you need to actually have sex with somebody to maybe get that sexual attraction she said she never had sex with him and i don't think that's true no i do i do understand that she didn't have that sexual attraction because she said they kissed but in
Starting point is 00:40:58 my opinion i think when you kiss someone you know if you want to have sex with them yeah no just from a kiss so that's the biggest problem with marcus is this sexual attraction thing and that's maybe why it is massive but that can come do you think it can come i do think so but like i wouldn't i wouldn't say that's what you should be focusing on i think someone's personality can definitely make them sexier yeah so like i don't know maybe for me drop them both because they maybe weren't right for certain different reasons but the fact that you're letting someone else into your relationship whether you like to hear that or not that unblocking and blocking and messaging and
Starting point is 00:41:33 calling and still answering dean maybe isn't right for you i think there's someone out there that has all the things you love about marcus and all the things you love about Marcus and all the things you love about Dean of course do you know what I mean yeah and like honestly it might be it might sound mad I don't think this is what you maybe wanted to hear but both of them might not be right for you listen I'd never tell you what to do if your gut says everything's gonna just work out for the best of Dean because he's young still yeah he is only 21 so he could do a lot of growing up over the next few years and just be the most perfect man for you yeah so if you believe that in your gut listen to your gut but if your gut also says this is the bare minimum i'm unhappy and i want something else listen to that yeah and you're
Starting point is 00:42:19 both young like you're 21 so like there's so much more to experience there's so much more to do and you know everything's a to do and you know both yeah and you're traveling you're doing some stuff that people would love to do so fucking go australia with marcus honestly no that's brutal imagine being broken up with and they run off with another guy i know it is brutal but honestly i wouldn't worry too much about the situation i would really just focus again it's another one focus on yourself see what you actually want the thing with dean is if you've noticed any change in him that's positive i know it might be like sucking what is it sucking dummies or something clutching onto straws no no you know when you're teaching someone how to suck eggs that's it anyway it's a york
Starting point is 00:43:00 maybe yorkshire thing but teaching someone how to suck eggs and teaching them how to love you who the fuck sucks eggs i don't know it's a saying anyway i. But teaching someone how to suck eggs and teaching them how to love you. Who the fuck sucks eggs? I don't know, it's a saying. Anyway. I don't think it is. Let me explain. So you might have taught him a lot. Like this might be something that he was needing.
Starting point is 00:43:15 And, you know, 21 is a young age. And from a bloke's perspective, I've changed a hell of a lot since I was 21. You learn yourself, but you've also got to allow him to learn himself um but if he gives you everything else and it's just the emotional intelligence then i don't know it's a tough one you just need to figure out what you want but you want you've got loads of time and you've got loads of things you can be doing and if they're making you happy that's that's the main
Starting point is 00:43:38 priority but if it's not i would say go with your gut in this situation yeah whatever you're feeling there's something there and it doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be neither of them. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, it could be neither of them. Yeah, definitely. And somebody else one day
Starting point is 00:43:54 who's everything you love about Marcus, but you do want to rip his clothes off. It could be DeMarcus. Who's DeMarcus? The third boy. Is that a name? A mix of both. Got you. Do you know what i mean yeah or got some of dean got some of marcus mean it could be mean darkest darkest mark oh
Starting point is 00:44:15 that's just there's half of marcus yeah and your middle name my middle name comes from his dad marco marco all right she fancies my dad by the way i don't fancy she's choosing between two men at the moment as well i told him he was very handsome you did and he loved it he went red no he didn't he did he loved it he started giving it very handsome today marcus marcus dean you look very handsome today dean god yeah i'm currently in that situation as well with the leah she's she's choosing between me and my dad so yeah that's tough i've got a lot to learn we love you marcos it's not like that between me and you called him marcos then i said marco i said marco is marco it's not like that all right okay all right yeah but no i can't give
Starting point is 00:45:06 you any more advice on that one no it's all got to come from you babe yeah but i hope we opened a few boxes in your brain yeah i think it's just realization things yeah we love you okay next dilemma this one says me and my partner have been together for three years and split up about two weeks ago due to him hiding messages between him and other girls and lying about meeting up with girls when we were together oh i hate him already yeah at the time he made all these promises such as i'll do anything to make this right i can't lose you i'm gonna win you back etc etc it's been two weeks and he's done nothing shock typical talk the talk yeah literally ron syndrome jesus um hasn't even asked for us to
Starting point is 00:45:54 have a conversation about everything that happened and attempt to work things out no phone calls no visits to see me in person no gestures like flowers to say sorry literally nothing I'm hurt because he said he's going to do what he can to make it right and just didn't am I an idiot for thinking he's eventually going to do these things and just need some time or does he just not intend on doing anything and doesn't want to be with me I brought this up once and he apologized and made the same promises but still didn't do anything about it I don't want to bring this up to him again because why should I have to repeat myself and have the same conversation when i know he heard me perfectly fine the first time and just chose not to do anything about it i just don't know what to do
Starting point is 00:46:32 from here do i wait around and hope he goes through with his promises or am i better off taking his silence as his answer and just move on ps absolutely love you so much love that right to help this woman yeah we do i think he's doing all the talking without saying anything at all 100 do you know what i mean 100 it does go back to what i was saying last week though where i said i truly believe a guy and sometimes girls someone will only ever really change when they truly from the bottom of their heart feel like you are gone forever no it's so true so he i personally don't think he thinks he's lost you yeah no he doesn't but also i just think that you know doing all the things he was doing before he doesn't really care yeah why do you want him to make it right why do
Starting point is 00:47:23 you want him to be sorry because yeah fuck him the problem is you haven't done anything wrong it's three years of your life that you've spent with this man loving this man and he's just been doing all this behind your back but that just shows a level of care respect and and it's broken the relationship and the thing is right this is something my mom told me and i truly believe is true i've seen it in every relationship i've been in and all my friends relationships every relationship on the planet okay not all of them i'm sure there's exceptions but anyway when when a man and a woman break up okay you're gonna tell me if you think this is true i'm gonna agree i don't know if you will actually i think i know where you're going with it though i think you told me before yeah okay okay so immediately the girl is
Starting point is 00:48:06 oh my god i can't believe it's over yeah he's gonna be with somebody else we're never gonna be in bed together again we're never gonna kiss each other again he doesn't even love me anymore how can you throw this all away and the guy is i'm sick girl got weight lifted off my shoulders this is amazing I feel so light I feel so free and then it's been however long in the period of time and then the girl is starting to go you know what I'm accepting this now
Starting point is 00:48:36 I'm accepting it I can get my head around this I'm gonna be alright everything is gonna be okay and the guy starts to go I'm bored now I'm bored of the other women and I'm bored to be all right. Yeah. Everything is going to be okay. And the guy starts to go, I'm bored now. I'm bored of the other women. Yeah. And I'm bored of being single.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Starts playing Marvin's room in his bedroom. Yeah. And he's like, well, no, we're not at Marvin's room yet. At the moment. He's just pretty quick.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Yeah. He's just, I'm bored now. I'm bored. This is, this is not good. The grass is not greener. And back to the woman,
Starting point is 00:49:03 the next step after accept is you know maybe there is someone else out there for me maybe i should start dating again maybe i should start putting myself out there because i'm a sexy single girl and then switching over to the boy he goes into faze marvin's room he goes into oh my god i lost the best thing that's ever happened to me the grass really was not greener yeah that's ever happened to me the grass really was not greener yeah that's just yeah do you know what i mean hit the nail on the head i've seen i'm pretty sure i've seen a tiktok video like like over a year ago like lockdown really and it was explained the exact same thing it's so true yeah guys it's always too late guys come out of
Starting point is 00:49:39 relationship and they're just like oh god they feel like just an earache you know anything i'm gonna go to the next woman get me some attention whatever it is yeah go out with the boys get in the gym smash it yeah whatever they want to do they just think i've had i've got the shackles off now yeah exactly what you said and then it just reverses and a lot of the time it's too late because you find it you've gone through your healing like you're i'm ready to like i don't feel that about you anymore and it actually breaks the heart of the man when he sees you with another yeah so i think it's only been two weeks so in male breakup phase he's in oh life's good right
Starting point is 00:50:19 now yeah he's in life's good right now don't really need to do too much if i don't have i've got all these other ones i've been speaking to keeping along yeah and he thinks the grass is greener he thinks you're waiting for him to make it right and he thinks let me enjoy being single for a bit yeah and then i'll start saying all the things i know i need to say i'll sweet talk her i know i know the fucking drill no action to follow no this is the thing Guys know exactly what they need to say. They do, but I do think girls do as well. But guys do do it. Guys are awful for it. They'll say a lot of things they don't mean.
Starting point is 00:50:51 They know exactly. You are so much better than any of them. Yeah. You are literally, we're going to get married one day. Make all these promises. Yeah, and they know that girls are going to be like. This is the thing though they'll only do the promises if they actually really care for you yeah i think he's shown his care for you yeah and in so many different ways well i don't know because yeah he has you are right he has shown
Starting point is 00:51:17 his true colors here but i do think focus on yourself focus on letting go of the relationship stop waiting for him to fix it except tell yourself he's he won't tell yourself that's done now yeah he's made his bed he can lie in it i'm moving on with my life and if he hits phase marvin's room and comes running back he will and see how you feel then you might be like i do you know what i believe him i do believe him things will change i feel like there is hope or you might be like, do you know what? I believe him. I do believe him. Things will change. I feel like there is hope. Or you might be like, fuck yourself. I'm fucking past that. You cheating little rat.
Starting point is 00:51:51 But I think when he does come back, if he does, you know, well, he will. Mm-hmm. They always do, even temporarily. He has to work 10 times harder than what you want right now. Because he's missed this. The train's gone. He's missed this stop. He has to get on the next one. He has to work 10 times harder.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Facts. You know what I mean? Yeah. You've done your healing. You don't need to be broken again. He needs to stick to his stop. He has to get on the next one. He has to work 10 times harder. Facts. You know what I mean? Yeah. You've done your healing. You don't need to be broken again. He needs to stick to his promises. Yeah. Build that trust back.
Starting point is 00:52:12 Congratulations. You've made it through to the end of our dilemmas. Thank you. I love you. Everything's going to be fine. And you got this. It will be fine. My voice is getting a bit.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Hello. Right. We have an update. Before we close off the dilemmas, we have an update before we close off the dilemmas we have an update do you guys remember last week the four-year situationship i remember that and he was like seeing his ex again and he hadn't made a decision and she was just like what do we do i had my opinions on that one we've got an update it says so after i sent in that dilemma about two days later he sent me a message saying he wanted space and time to find himself again basically he wants to go back to how he was before that
Starting point is 00:52:52 was friends with benefits of course he does of course he does he wants his cake and eat yeah sounds like heaven to someone like him she says i'm absolutely 100 done done. Good. Woo! Have a bloody glass of rosé. Yeah, do you know what I mean? I don't know why I said rosé. Well, yeah, she might love a glass of rosé. Whatever you want. Have a glass. Get it from a man.
Starting point is 00:53:13 It's just an excuse. I'm so done with it all. He said he will see slash talk to me when he wants to. Oh, yeah, because my life's been on your terms for the past four years. Not anymore. Not anymore. Four years. Nothing to show for
Starting point is 00:53:25 it honestly known this boy nearly five years and this has shown me everything now he doesn't want me and never will do you know what the power in that message in that he doesn't want me and never will do you know what i mean and that doesn't that doesn't reflect me i feel like there's been a switch that she's been flicked yeah she's hit the switch she's just the switch moment you're so right that was that one that's all it needed yeah sometimes you just get to the switch and you go oh my god what am i doing right anyway there's a bit more i need to build the bridge and get over it asap expect oh except i have a dream oh right okay i was really happy for her until now i was really happy for her until now. Oh no, what are you going to tell me? I was really happy for her until now.
Starting point is 00:54:05 What are you going to tell me? Except I have a dream holiday to the Caribbean books with him and 15 of his family members. He said he really does still want to go on holiday together and his family would be upset if I didn't go. Trying to fucking blackmail me into going. What is this? My family will hate you if you don't go. My family really want you to go. Don't let them down.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Well, I'm never going to see your family again, actually. I'm 100% done anyway i know people are gonna think i'm crazy but i'm still going to go oh she's crazy yeah we think you're crazy you'll cray it's in june so a while away but after that i truly believe that will be it listen if you want to go on that holiday go on that holiday but just make sure that you cut it and run after because there's a bit more oh shit we did say on the phone call that we have always been good friends and always been there for each other right let me just say one thing people get this so confused yeah how this boy has treated you it's not a friend let alone a good one definitely right anyway always been there for each other when we've been at our lowest he's put you at your lowest let's remember that it's a sad situation but
Starting point is 00:55:09 after the holiday i think this has to be it and i need to find someone who truly worships the ground i walk on period thank you leah for the advice last ep me and my best friend were crying with laughter love you bye don't go don't go to the Royal Caribbean, I was going to say. I don't want to know little details about this Royal Caribbean. If it's all inclusive, go, run it up, get the fuck out of there. Don't go. All right, don't go. Have more self-respect.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Yeah, no, have some self-respect. I'm going to be brutal and literally tell you what to do and you're not going to listen because we never do, do we? No, like, honestly, if you're set on going, go, but this guy is not your friend. No, don't go. Go on holiday with your best friend. Free holiday, isn't it't know he doesn't he she didn't say that they're paying if you've already paid then you know can you get a refund what's going on we need to know a bit more
Starting point is 00:55:53 detail yeah oh fuck i keep hitting the mic sorry guys it depends about the money situation but my opinion is go on an amazing holiday with your best friend instead yeah no i do agree with that because this guy knows he's going to be so relaxed till june thinking she's getting on holiday with me we're going to be having sex in the sun there is true that is true and he's going to be fucking violating you till june of course he is yeah it's a long time to be violated tell you what just do what you want to do until then if you do decide to go i really don't think we should go probably shouldn't go i'm really opinionated on this and this is the thing it's like i know you're going to want to go i really don't think we should go probably shouldn't go i'm really opinionated on this and
Starting point is 00:56:25 this is the thing it's like i know you're gonna want to go but we've got to be honest of ourselves a massive part of the reason that you want to go is because you're hoping that it will change things listen you've got you've got to think of the whole situation again four years it's not a friendship like whatever you want to be told by this this man it's not friendship the only thing is you've gone through experiences together and that doesn't make it doesn't make you a friend like yeah what you're talking about is oh do you remember this time this time you've been there for me through this and that yeah it's bullshit no you fucked with me for four years tagged you along for four years and i'm taking my life back fuck to your mind good riddance and now he's got one final opportunity just to keep
Starting point is 00:57:01 you until june and what's it yeah exactly that so he's got that security yeah he knows that yeah she's going to caribbean with me my family gonna be pissed off with it shouldn't go don't don't fall for it but at the same time you know can't tell you what to do i know lee is very opinionated on this one you know what if you choose to go have the best time and send me pictures but go go fuck off somewhere else flirt with every man there i mean that would kill him flirt with his dad the caribbean man flirt with his dad that hurts me i don't flirt with your dad yeah i don't i've got a dilemma for next week i love your dad he's the sweetest lovely man anyway that is the end of the dilemmas. We're going to go to a part two now.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Can't wait. Where we're going to do our X about each other. How many you got? About 15. Prick. Well, you said to get them ready. Okay, you want to get into that, do you?
Starting point is 00:57:58 Yeah. Yeah, I'm going in hard, hun. I'm going in very hard. Yeah, all right. Just you wait. We've got some questions. Some of them are like a Q&A about us our relationship
Starting point is 00:58:06 other questions are ones that you wanted to ask Jamie about boys and his opinion on things and we is that what we're doing? I don't know but I do think we should sing again
Starting point is 00:58:18 at the end oh yeah you bet yeah okay guys join us in part two can't wait love you bye Oh yeah. You bet. Yeah. Okay guys. Join us in part two. Can't wait.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Love you. Bye.

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