Leah on the Line - 60: Should I have doubts about moving in with my boyfriend?

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Hey babes! In this episode, we discussed whether it's common to feel anxious/unsure when moving in with a partner. The dilemmas this week touched on dealing with rejection as well as how to express yo...ur love language needs to someone! The confessions this week did also not disappoint! Thank you so so much for all the love you show LOTL. You all mean more than you'll ever know! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to leahontheline@gmail.com. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leo on the line happy tuesday happy tuesday everyone how are you how was your weekend what did you guys get up to bank hole weekend this weekend yeah who's excited so what do I have to update you on tomorrow I'm going to Longleat Safari baby yeah do you know I live like 45 minutes away from Longleat Safari I've never actually done it in my life so I'm really excited I'm really looking forward to it monkeys are literally my favorite animal well they were until I heard about the chimp that ripped her best friend's face off do you ever hear about that like this woman owned a chimp like first of all don't own a fucking chimp like are you okay but anyway she owned a chimp in
Starting point is 00:01:02 America and the chimp ripped her best friend's face off. Yeah, it's an awful, awful, terrible, sad story. And it traumatized me just hearing the story. Like, it's a really horrible story. Like, if you haven't heard about it, it's horrible. Anyway, monkeys, they're still my favorite animal because, you know, it's a wild animal. It's not a pet. Do you know what I mean? But anyway's not a pet do you know but anyway
Starting point is 00:01:26 i'm really looking forward to it what i have to update you on it's jamie's birthday on wednesday oh i've got like present imposter syndrome no that doesn't make any sense basically i'll get present anxiety like no matter what i get i'm like it's shit it's shit and then when i think i've got someone a good present yeah it's not until they open it that I'm like what was I actually thinking like these are some shit presents like it happens to me all the time like I buy someone presents and I'll be like I've absolutely fucking smashed it I've just blown it out of the park this week and then they open them I think sorry I've just given you absolute junk there like I don't even know what I was thinking but I feel like I've done quite well.
Starting point is 00:02:06 We are going to a hotel, like this really beautiful spa. Like, oh my God, I just whistled. Spa. I can't do it again now. Spa. Spa. Anyway, we're going to a really nice spa. We're really looking forward to that.
Starting point is 00:02:18 I have quite an anxious week ahead because on Friday I have an eye appointment and health anxiety she said panic she said danger she said you should be really worried about this but basically my vision is just not there like I just can't I don't know it's not it's not I don't know I don't really understand because this is the thing with vision right I can't know it's not it's not I don't know I don't really understand because this is the thing with vision right I can't compare it to anybody out there I don't know what you see like how do I know how bad my eyes are do you know what I mean it's not until I'm like can you read that and someone's like yeah and I'm like oh yeah same yeah same I can read that I read that from miles away but actually I'm like I ain't got fucking clue what that says but basically i've mentioned this before i've got astigmatism in my left eye and i'm my eyes are also like fucking covered in eye
Starting point is 00:03:11 floaters and they have been for years and years and like now it just feels like there's so much shit in my eyes i just can't actually see through well but that's okay i'm sure everything's gonna be fine um but yeah, like I said, health anxiety said panic, but we won't. We won't listen to her. We don't listen to her. We listen to our rational brain that says people go to eye appointments all the time, honey. I probably just need glasses. I mean, oh God, I need to touch for a second because I'm really panicking right now. Anyway, I love you guys. I hope you're all really well. I hope you had a really nice weekend. I hope your Monday was good guys I hope you're all really well I hope you had a really nice weekend I hope your Monday was good I hope you're feeling
Starting point is 00:03:47 good and positive this Tuesday but remember if you're not that's also okay you can't feel positive every day and hopefully just listening to this episode might lift your spirits only maybe even one percent and I will feel better do you know what I mean okay I love you guys let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to Leah on the Line. Remember to leave a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and hit the notification bell. You can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leahontheline at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leahontheline and at leahlevane to see visual clips of the podcast. I love you. Enjoy the episode. Okay, everyone. How are you? I hope you're comfortable whatever it is you're doing. Hope you've got a nice task ahead of you, maybe you're tidying, maybe you've got a gym session
Starting point is 00:04:29 ahead, maybe you've got a long drive ahead, maybe you're falling asleep. Whatever it is, I'm happy to be with you on this journey today. The weekly debate, again, inspired by one of the dilemmas. I'm really enjoying that idea I feel like especially when it's a dilemma where I'm like I'm not too sure to be honest and then I can do the debate and it really helps I feel like it helps that specific listener with the dilemma but also it kind of gives me more perspectives when it comes to giving my advice in the dilemma do you know what I mean okay so the weekly debate this week is it goes to the people who live with their partner. And it says, if you live with your partner, did moving in together just feel right?
Starting point is 00:05:11 Or did you have doubts? You know, like, you know, when you're in the relationship and it's like, you think the conversation comes up about, why don't you move in with me? Or like, why don't we look for a place together? You know, do you have that like oh i don't know about this kind of gives me anxiety or is it like it was just really natural and it just happened like we're just like we should we should get a place do you know what i mean so let's have a little look what you guys are saying most of you on first glance are saying it felt right okay um we we
Starting point is 00:05:42 moved in after four weeks and we've been together a year now a lot i hear a lot of people say like we moved in really really quickly but it just felt right like we've been together for years but we moved in after knowing each other for two months do you know what i mean okay let's read some more felt right and now it's been two years and i still love it when you know you know just felt right we moved in after six months it happened so naturally still just as happy now three and a half years later amazing it's adapting and compromising I couldn't imagine living without him now gorgeous it felt right moved in with his parents six months a house at one year six months we're now on our second house gorgeous definitely had
Starting point is 00:06:27 doubts but it's been a week and it feels like home okay so you're fresh in this is nice this is good felt right but it can be very difficult at times at the start but it is so worth it i had doubts due to my age and how long we were together but everything was fine okay so what we're hearing is people do have doubts but it turned out all right um my parents moved in at 21 after knowing each other five weeks it said they said they were just giddy about it oh that's so sweet i love that i'm moving in next week with the guy i've been seeing for three months it just feels right like wait you're just you're still in the seeing each other phase and you're living together okay I fucking love it it felt right I was scared
Starting point is 00:07:11 because I was moving in with a boy but it was fine yeah of course if it's like your first situation living with a guy I can imagine that's overwhelming because I went to uni so I went into a house full of girls and guys so moving in with my first boyfriend was never like oh my god I'm about to live with the boy with a boy I've also grown up with a brother so if I was from like an all-female household and never like shared an accommodation with with guys at uni then I can imagine it might be a bit like a oh my goodness I'm gonna be sharing a house with a boy ew do you know what i'm saying it felt right to move in together but when we did we argued to the point of almost breaking up this is the thing
Starting point is 00:07:51 i feel like this is when you really get to know someone they say like you get to know someone when you go on holiday together i guess that's because like you're living together for a week or however long you're away like that there is a reason people say that isn't there like you see every mood every side of them because at the end of the day right when you're not living together every time you see each other you'd like to think anyway you're excited you've been counting down the days or you you've had some time away you've been busy you've got things to update each other on you've got photos to show them from whatever you did last week like whatever it is like you haven't seen them for however long couple of days a week weeks and weeks whatever so you've got things to talk about you're in a good mood whereas if you live together you have shit days you have days
Starting point is 00:08:37 where you're like everything's fucking annoying me the fact that your dirty shitty pants are next to the laundry basket and not in them is making me want to end the relationship you know what i mean like things are just different when you live together it's annoying things are just different do you know i mean by the way i'm joking about i wanted to end the relationship over a pair of pants okay okay let's read some more um the first one i had doubts but he was moving into my space so it felt harder to cope with i think moving into somewhere new for you both is the best way to go i cried when he put an extra rail in my wardrobe and it meant all my clothes would be creased no honestly i can actually understand that like i've never actually thought
Starting point is 00:09:23 about that like getting a new place together it's like no one's invading anyone else's space you know it's new it's a new chapter new memories no history it's like this is me and you do you know what i mean moving someone into your own space is different i agree um it just felt right he bought a toothbrush for my flat after eight days i fucking love it to be honest i was scared but looking back it was the best decision ever it felt totally right no doubts at all if you're having doubts that's not right okay i mean i don't know if that's true because we've obviously got a lot of people replying saying that they had doubts but it turned out absolutely fine so you know to each their own it felt right only had doubts after it actually happened because he's
Starting point is 00:10:10 a little child ah shit yeah like the whole it's gonna be amazing it's gonna be amazing and then you live together and you're like okay i'm not your mom do you know what i mean like especially if they come from a home where like their mom tidied their fucking bedroom for them at like 25 years old like one of them situations where like their mum cooks some dinner the mum makes their lunch the mum does the iron and i'm not doing that for you darling i'm not doing that you're not moving it i'm not adopting you okay do you mean that would no that would be an absolute turn off okay guys thank you so much for all your responses to the weekly debate i think what i've gathered from this is some people do have doubts but most of the time
Starting point is 00:10:46 it's turned out all right I have I've only read one occasion where somebody said they had doubts and they were right too because it didn't work do you know what I mean I think moving in with someone can be scary especially if it's your first time living with a partner or if you haven't known each other for very long you know because also you're giving up a certain degree of independence as well I feel like which can be scary on its own okay gorgeous thank you guys let's get into some dilemmas okay everyone let's get into the very first dilemma i'm gonna kick it straight off all right it says hey leah i'd be so grateful for your help sorry this is a long one we don't mind
Starting point is 00:11:32 the long ones we're here for them just to sum it up i was seeing this guy for three months we were intense and had a clear connection loads of sex very forward with emotions although there were some red flags i ignored for example on the second day i went to order us some drinks and he came up to the bar and was like why are you flirting with the bar man oh also guys gets worse he said he wasn't a feminist and that he liked andrew tate Tate. Right. I don't, I'm not too sure how those red flags were brushed over quite so easily. Imagine being on a date with someone, on the second date mind, and he's like, why flip the barman? Are you joking me? Get away from me. Get, actually get away from me, you freak. Get away from me. I will flirt with my mum now, mate.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Fucking loser. Anyway, we were exclusive and I told him why these things were bad. I booked a trip to Berlin with the girls. Oh, God forbid. And he told me not to sleep with anyone when I clearly wouldn't. Don't sleep with anyone. Okay. I was gonna, but I won't. Like, what the fuck? Anyway,
Starting point is 00:12:47 he has issues with his exes going on holiday and cheating. I asked if there's anything I can do to help him feel secure about it. He kicked off. What? I'm not insecure if you slept with someone. It's only a physical thing. It's not that deep that deep what i know you wouldn't have what we have okay i'm very confused by this little man okay i went into my car and couldn't stop crying because if he slept with someone else i'd be so upset yeah normal response from you there like i'm sorry his response i'm not insecure i don't actually fucking care if you have sex with someone. He's not going to be anything like me, is he? Odd. What an odd man. Okay. I told him I was upset outside and he said he was too busy to come see me. Oh, darling, what are you doing? What's occupying your time? Over the holiday, he didn't message me Saturday evening till Sunday,
Starting point is 00:13:46 which I thought was suspicious. Mmm, I feel ya. I came back on Valentine's Day, and he bought us loads of food and a nice Airbnb. The hot and cold, oh my God. But he was tired due to work and said, we'd only split up if someone else got involved, which I thought was weird.
Starting point is 00:14:04 Yeah, I agree with you that's very strange i was slightly disappointed to no presents or card on our first valentine's yeah that's sure then he barely messaged me a few days after as he said he was super busy with work all of a sudden no i'm sorry it's an excuse i messaged him asking how his day was going and he said he can't give me attention oh my god the disrespect is actually crazy even though he messaged me once at like 8 a.m and was doing other things then he said I deserve better and that he isn't 100 sure about me as I don't thank him enough this guy I, I'm telling you now, this guy has a major ego problem. The ego problem is real, mate. He's like, he's insecure that you're flirting with a barman. And then he says, go and shag someone in Berlin if you want, because I know that it's not going to
Starting point is 00:14:58 be deep because he's nothing like me. And then he's got no time for you. He's upset you and he don't give a fuck. He's not give you a card or present on Valentine's Day. And then he's got no time for you he's upset you and he don't give a fuck he's not give you a card or present on valentine's day and then he says you don't say thank you enough i'm it's giving small dick energy when i do kiss him with it every time now he's talking to loads of other girls and on dating apps i can't stop crying sorry this was long but i need honest opinions love you i love you okay first things first is he it's an ego thing 100 the reason he's back on dating apps talking to loads of girls that's what he's doing to feel better about himself because you didn't do that you didn't make him feel like the fucking dog's bollocks because he ain't right so he's gone to
Starting point is 00:15:40 find that because that's what he needs for his self-esteem. It's sad, to be honest, but you're better than that and you're way too good for him. So I feel sad for whoever else he has to do this to because let's be honest, it's him. He's got the issue here. Do you know what I mean? You're amazing. You're an amazing girl and you will get someone incredible. So good fucking riddance, babe. That's what I say.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Do you know what? It's all about mentality like i do think you have to focus on like all these behaviors they're so unattractive like i don't want that i actually don't want anything like that i don't i don't want you like that's actually fucking gross i'm sorry why you fight with the barman gross gonna have sex with someone in berlin gross honestly gross i'm too busy i'm too busy to talk to you i'm too busy to give a fuck that you're crying outside fucking gross do you know what i mean we have to we have to focus on that hicks obviously it's not nice because you're going to take this personally we just do don't we but you have to remember it's not personal at all
Starting point is 00:16:42 not for you it's personal for him and that's his issue and his issue alone it's a him problem babe do you know what i mean you're too good for him you didn't you didn't big up his ego enough and that's why he lost interest so it's not because you're not fucking amazing it's because he's obviously not secure enough in himself to be able to treat someone nicely and how you deserve to be treated it's sad um just focus on like the fact that that's not actually what you want or deserve like oh i'm too busy to come out to you crying like oh what the fuck a nice person is your instinct i don't need to ask for that it's your natural instinct he lacks empathy massively and that's just not it's gross so
Starting point is 00:17:24 yeah focus on that i think like it's gross so yeah focus on that I think like sometimes it's easier to focus on the negatives and people are obviously we're gonna it's hard because you talk to yourself and you focus on the positives like oh but he got us that Airbnb and that made me so happy and like you focus on all the times that he did make an effort because they mean so much when they when they lack it most of the time when they do pull their finger out they are that out their ass and treat you how you deserve it means so much but it's like it's the bare minimum to just treat someone with respect do you know what i mean so love you you deserve better and just focus on that babe i love you so much next dilemma
Starting point is 00:18:01 hey leah okay so i've been seeing this guy for just under two months but at least twice a week he's very good at showing his feelings through actions and gestures but for me i want to hear it from his mouth i've said this to him and he told me he really liked me and stuff but that was the end of it since then i haven't gotten any more reassurance which i need but i don't know is this just a me problem? We speak a lot about relationships and a potential future, but I'm getting frustrated that I'm constantly guessing where we stand and I'm scared of getting hurt. What do you think I should do?
Starting point is 00:18:35 Do I leave it and try to trust the process or do I express this frustration to him? Like how long into seeing him do I be like, where is this going? I feel like I over worded this all over the place, but hopefully you get the gist of it. Love ya. Okay. No, I think this may be a case of love languages. So you said that he shows you, like he's very good at showing his feelings through actions and gestures.
Starting point is 00:19:00 But for you, maybe you're a words of affirmation girl. Do you know what I mean? Maybe it's a, I need you to literally look me in the eyes and say i'm crazy about you i really like you i fancy the fuck out of you you make me laugh you make me feel good i love your company like maybe you're a words of affirmation girl which i think we all need to hear that every now and again so even if you're not a words of affirmation girl some we all need to hear it but like some people to some of us it means more do you know what i mean and to some people it's like for me personally i'm the opposite like if you was the opposite to him and you told me how much you like me and you told me how you
Starting point is 00:19:37 want this future with me and you're so attracted to me and all that but i i didn't see it and you didn't show it to me i don't it means nothing like I would rather see it and feel it than hear it but you're someone that needs to hear it and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that I think there's loads of people that exactly like that my sister's a words of affirmation girl she needs to hear it so maybe just have that conversation of just like personally like listen I'm not criticizing you i'm not saying that you don't show me that you like me and you don't show me that you're into me like i see it believe me i see it i feel it but i am someone that needs to hear it maybe you
Starting point is 00:20:15 could say like should we do the love languages quiz have you ever done the love language quiz maybe we should do it and then it might be really helpful for you to see his love languages because it sounds kind of likely that words of affirmation might be really helpful for you to see his love languages because it sounds kind of likely that words of affirmation might be at the bottom for him and if so that's a really good way to bring up the conversation of like oh like that makes sense that your words of affirmation is at the bottom because like obviously i i had to have mentioned it before like something out but like i have mentioned it how like i'm someone that needs to hear it so like i don't know yours is a physical touch so
Starting point is 00:20:46 that's good for me to know i'll make sure that i can make sure i'm doing that with you babe do you know what i mean i'm glad we did this i'm glad we did this it's been really helpful for us do you know what i mean so no i don't think it's a you problem but also i think it's really important to understand that not everyone just it's it's not in everyone's nature it's personally not in mine like it's really not in my nature to be like I like you so much like I really love you or like oh my god like you're amazing like I will obviously give compliments and tell someone well someone my boyfriend that I love him and and give him compliments and tell him that i appreciate
Starting point is 00:21:25 him and stuff but my it's not in my instinct to to say it loads and loads and like i'll think it a lot but then rather than saying it i'll cuddle up to him do you know what i mean because mine's physical touch so when i sat when i sit there and i think oh like he's just amazing i'll just go over and give him a cuddle whereas like if i was a words of affirmation person then I'd say oh you're so amazing do you know what I mean so that's how love languages I think can be really important so yeah I think play the little love language game and see how that conversation steers steers you into a deeper conversation do you know what I mean love you so so much. Keep us updated. You got this. Okay, let's do another dilemma. Hey, Leah, I love the podcast. I've been living, I've been listening
Starting point is 00:22:11 since September and I finally have a dilemma. I love you so much. Okay, should I move in with my boyfriend or not? Here we go. This is the weekly debate inspired dilemma. dilemma oh fucking shut up there i've been with my boyfriend for almost one and a half years before that i spent several years dating random guys and was once in a long relationship i met my now boyfriend for a friend who paired us up he had also been single for a while and apparently we matched very well he too was in a relationship several years ago, where he moved in at her parents' house. So he lived with her and her parents. We both had a great time while single, and we're now looking for something more serious. Oh, absolutely perfect timing.
Starting point is 00:22:55 He certainly is. We really are buddies and support each other when needed. That's really cute. He's my buddy. That's really cute. I'm 23 and he's 24 i sometimes suffer from anxiety but he is very good at dealing with that so he is a huge support oh i love that from him we also have a good laugh together every day to sum up he just makes me very happy this is amazing he lives on his own in a small apartment too small for me to move in and he also works full-time i on the other hand i'm still going to school which will probably take another four years oh my god what are you studying i do have a job but do not earn nearly as much as he does he lives half an hour away from me and we see each other every weekend but also occasionally
Starting point is 00:23:37 during the week i still live at home with my mum where i'm very happy so i am in no hurry to move out he's also accepted by the whole family and have already gone on a winter sports trip with part of my family. Winter sports trip, hey, love that. It was very enjoyable. Now my aunt is going to move in with her boyfriend in a year. So her house will be empty. She absolutely does not want to sell it and has asked if I would like to live there with my boyfriend. Oh, this is everything
Starting point is 00:24:05 is aligning for you two guys. Like I'm deadly serious right now. For a very low rent which will allow both of us to keep saving. Perfect the stars are really aligning. For my boyfriend this will be very nice as he can hardly save now due to the high rent of his apartment. Okay so you're doing him a real favor here. But I find it all very overwhelming. My aunt's house is in a nice area just outside the city. It will be about half an hour from where I live now. It is also a three-story house for half the price that my friend now pays for his two-bedroom apartment. Wait, are you guys together or friends? Because I'm actually getting, oh no, you called him your boyfriend at the beginning. I've just checked. Okay checked okay why are we referring to them as a friend okay or maybe we're just talking
Starting point is 00:24:52 about a total different friend okay shut up Leah it also has a garden with sun for me it'd be a perfect place to move in together I think it's very only I think it's very fast we have known each other for about two years now and we've officially been together for one and a half years. The idea of living together makes me excited but at the same time anxious. I'd love to hear your opinion. Love you. Bye. Love you. Okay. I think what we've discovered from the weekly debate is it's okay to be anxious. It's okay to be like, Oh, God, I don't know. Like, it's a scary thing to do because it's commitment to be anxious it's okay to be like oh god I don't know like it's it's a scary thing to do because it's it's commitment and whether people like to admit it or not commitment can be very scary so I wouldn't overthink your feelings um and also I would just take the pressure off of it
Starting point is 00:25:39 being such a serious thing you know you're excited about it so allow yourself to be allow yourself to feel a bit anxious as well it's absolutely normal absolutely fine and also the amazing thing about the situation is it's your auntie's place you know you're not buying somewhere you're not putting rent down where you've got to stay there for 12 months like you have no commitment so you don't have to be worried about like oh oh, fuck, like this is a really big deal, like blah, blah, blah. Well, absolute worst case scenario here. If it doesn't work, you won't lose anything. You don't have to worry about being stuck anywhere. You can you can go at any point. So obviously, this is a worst case scenario here. But what I'm trying to say is like, nothing bad can happen to you um you're not stuck
Starting point is 00:26:26 anywhere and I think this could be a really good thing for you I think trust the universe here like a lot of things in your story have been very coincidental you know like how you were put together by a friend and you both were in long-term relationships but now you're both looking for something serious but you had your dating phase like you're ready to settle down and you know he's in his own apartment and hasn't been able to save whereas now all of a sudden like your auntie's coming along with this opportunity and it's like yeah you can stay at my place like really really cheap three-story house babe like snap it up it's almost like the universe is putting you on this path for a reason but also if in your gut in your gut gut gut it's like I don't want to fucking do this you don't have to do this do
Starting point is 00:27:11 not feel pressured to do it um it doesn't have to be like oh the end of our fucking relationship because I don't want to move in together it might just not be the right time for you but if you feel like it's just a bit of anxiety and a bit of apprehension but you are mostly excited about it I say just don't worry about it and just do it and like I said you're not stuck anywhere nothing bad's gonna happen to you and it could be really really amazing and you could save and then you can have you can think about the future you know and just go with the flow babe that's what I think don't stress don't look too far ahead you know, and just go with the flow, babe. That's what I think. Don't stress. Don't look too far ahead. Just live in the moment. Go with the flow.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Listen to your gut. Listen to your heart and your head and make a decision and you're absolutely okay. Love you. Okay, guys. Some great dilemmas today. Great dilemmas. I think they were all about dating though, which sometimes I don't like to do that too much because I feel like it's fun to do the friendship related dilemmas or just the personal dilemmas about jobs or whatever. But these dilemmas today, they just stood out to me and the universe told me to pick them. So I did. Okay, guys, let's get into the confession diaries. The confessions this week are fucking good. Like I'm excited for you guys to hear these. I'm going to kick it off with this first one that I didn't actually read last week, but I got it last week.
Starting point is 00:28:50 It says I'm getting lip and chin filler on Saturday so she's got the filler now ladies and gents I'm getting lip and chin filler on Saturday and I'm trying to hide it from my boy he's always said I'd be single if I got filler so wish me luck okay I'm sorry why the fuck are you gonna end the relationship because I got filler first of all but I'm excited to hear the results please tell me how he responded because it is not easy to hide filler especially if you're gonna see him quickly after on my very first filler session I swelled up like an actual duck like it was no joke who remembers the video like it was it was intense I'm excited to hear how he responded so So please do a follow up with that one. Next one. I've fallen for the one I told him not to worry about.
Starting point is 00:29:32 That is a bad one. No, it's always the one they say not to worry about, isn't it? Fuck, what are you going to do? I feel like that's one for a dilemma. Send it in, babes. Okay, this is a longer one. Hey girl, babes. Okay, this is a longer one. Hey girl, confession here. When I was 18, I dropped out of college halfway through my last year doing a business and law course because I got offered a full-time job. Fast forward to July, I got the
Starting point is 00:29:57 certificates in the post and my college tutor had finished all my work and got me a distinction star in all my remaining assignments, meaning I'd gotten into uni, which I'd applied for originally not thinking I'd get in. So I went in and studied three years fashion buying at uni and worked part time at this job. Then when I got to my final year, I paid someone around 600 pounds online to do my dissertation for me and i came out with a first class honors degree i'm pretty sure that's illegal that's a crime you're under arrest you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defense if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court anything you do say may be given in evidence do you understand when i feel like a fucking legend when i say that that's a crime is that a crime is that a crime oh my god that's fucking crazy what what possessed your teacher to do that in
Starting point is 00:30:57 college like for what reason what the hell was in it for your college tutor that i'm just so so confused by this confession but i mean you've got first first class honors degree babe so to be fair i would have paid someone 600 pound to do my dissertation that was hell i did performing arts yeah and you want me to write a 10 000 word essay for what babe for what tell me the reason what is the reason what is the actual reason i'm here to learn to sing, dance and act, babe. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, let's kick it off with this last one. I mean, kick it off, finish it off. This is a bad one, by the way. This is a bad one. When I was younger, I used to poo on tissues in the bathroom and take the poo to my bedroom
Starting point is 00:31:42 in the attic and throw the poo out of my bedroom window into my neighbour's garden. I did that continuously for weeks every day, until they called the police to report it, and that scared me, so I finally stopped. They were also friends with my parents, and they were telling my parents how someone was throwing dog poo in their garden every day. Meanwhile, my parents were clueless that it was their own daughter. I was about 10 slash 11 years old, by the way. I can't quite wrap my head around this confession. I love you for sharing it with me. But just like, do you remember like being 10 11 like do you remember
Starting point is 00:32:26 why you felt like doing that like i would love to know where did that thought come from like when you're having a pee one day like i'm gonna catch it in this tissue i'm gonna hold a bit of tissue out just under my bum hole while i'm pooing catch the poo i'm'll launch it next door and actually launch it into next door's garden i'm just so so like baffled by that one like it's i would the first time i read it i i don't even know if i've laughed at this because i'm genuinely confused do you guys know what i mean like what like i don't know if you guys are laughing when you hear that or if you're like me and you're like huh like what do you mean you what do you mean you just threw poo for like do you say a year or years because I don't know like was this just like a little addiction you had I did that continuously for weeks okay for weeks okay I'm somehow I processed it as years
Starting point is 00:33:22 why am I acting like it's much better now? Oh, thank God. It was only a couple of weeks, eh? I mean, I love that from you. And you know what? You were 10, 11. Kids are weird. Do you know what I mean? I'm sure I did some weird things. I did egg my neighbor's fence. I was much younger. I was probably about four or five. I did egg my neighbor's fence. But for what reason because it was literally on my side of the fence obviously like I remember I did it in my garden so it would have been my fucking like you would have seen that from my garden I didn't get what happened there me and my twin brother I don't know something possessed us to do that we used to do some weird shit to just like be rebels I don't know but i was quite
Starting point is 00:34:06 a good kid to be honest with you i was a very good child anyway why am i making this about me i loved all of your confessions today everyone thank you for sharing remember to send them in like i said i get a lot less confessions than i do dilemmas the dilemmas we've got loads and loads of them which is amazing it's amazing i feel like we're never gonna run out of dilemmas which is the main thing this is the main part of this pod but the confessions are something i get i do get a lot but a lot of them is like we've literally had the same confession like oh i slept with my sorry my throat's going again i slept with my ex's best friend do you know what i mean which is like it's fucking brilliant confession but I don't want it to be too repetitive for you guys to hear so if you have any unusual confessions
Starting point is 00:34:50 take them out of your day it would mean the world to me and send them my way babe and I'll read it out next week okay I love you let's wrap up the episode thank you guys so much for listening to this episode i hope you all enjoyed it remember to send in your dilemmas and confessions for next week what do you guys want on friday part of me is just dying to do another part two to the quiz i have said that we will do the never have i ever wait no what was it would you rather would you rather we did do never have i ever a couple of times though or is it just the ones but anyway we are we did say we'll do the uh would you rather but and i will i will i will do that on friday if that's what you guys want but i'm also like just
Starting point is 00:35:35 gagging to do a part two of the quiz because you guys fucking loved it and i actually found it really interesting so let me know um if you if you guys do want to part two to the quiz and any other friday episode ideas that you guys have any weekly debate ideas especially weekly debate ideas i feel like i'd love to know what you guys want to hear every everyone else's opinions on um do you know what else i do want to know what percentage of you guys have lip filler like just i was just i was watching maths and i was like quite a lot of these girls have filler obviously I'm a filler girl I love my lip filler and I'm like I wonder what percentage of like I don't know like 20 to 30 odd 30 something year olds just out of curiosity
Starting point is 00:36:18 like what percentage of us lot have lip filler because I feel like it's quite high these days so maybe I should do a poll on my insta story just out of curiosity like do you have lip filler because I feel like it's quite high these days so maybe I should do a poll on my insta story just out of curiosity like do you have lip filler because that is my um demographic like the age group of of you guys so it'd be so interesting to find out let me know okay maybe we could do an episode about something relative to that maybe we can do another self-love episode because I feel like filler is definitely like it comes down to insecurities and stuff doesn't it I feel so much better when I have my filler though like I'm getting topped up this week no this month I'm really fucking excited you know what I mean like are you a filler girl I don't know let me know
Starting point is 00:37:01 okay guys I love you so much and I hope you'll have the best week. Remember, if you're getting drunk at all, a little midweek drink, remember, don't text your ex, text me instead. And I'll speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode. All right. I love you.

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