Leah on the Line - 69: My boyfriend makes fun of me in front of everyone!

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy tuesday happy tuesday everybody how are you how was your weekend? How was your Monday? I miss you guys so much. Love Island's back on our screens. I mean I'm talking in past tense. I mean future tense. What is the word? Basically it hasn't started for me yet okay because it's a Monday for me. It starts tonight. So as you're listening to this you may have watched it. Can't wait. I can't wait to regroup on Friday and give our opinions. We'll definitely have a chat about it. Maybe we'll put up an Instagram story and say like, what's your thoughts? Who do we think is going to last? Not many of the original couples last these days, do they? I think a lot

of them like to go in there and play the field, which do your thing, babe, as you should. Do you know what I mean? As you fucking should. So I got my nails done today. I got my toes done. I never get my toes done. I'll tell you why. Because I've got the ugliest toes in the fucking world, you can only see two of them, then the other three just curl under each other like they're shy, it's really ugly, I have the ugliest toes, and you guys remember, I almost went on Love Island, and genuinely, one of the things that put me off the idea was the fact my toes would just have to be out, like they just would, I can't wear fucking trainers, can't wear trainers around Villa, do you know what i mean but fucking out there anyway she did a little french tip on them and they still look shit they still look ugly there's no help in these

little fuckers but it's because i'm going on holiday like i wanted to feel glam i've got the nicest nails on my thingies though like i literally i got little picture this if you don't follow me on instagram first of all what are you doing But it means you wouldn't have seen them. I got like little pastel yellow tips, right? We've got, we've got an almond shape, pastel yellow tips with a little white. Well, I was going to say a white daisy, but aren't daisies just white anyway? With the little yellow thing in the middle. Yeah, just shut up.

Anyway, I want really cute summery nails. So this is your sign to go out and get matching nails with me. So yeah, I hope you guys all had an amazing weekend, whatever it is that you guys got up to. I'm sure lots of summer drinks happened, a lot of Barbies. Do you know what I mean? Who's on holiday right now? Who's sunbathing? Oh, jealous. Like who was sat around a pool right now with headphones in, listening to the pod, getting that tan on, hope you got high SPF, honey, yeah, do you know, like, 90% of aging comes from the sun, don't forget it, I'll be on holiday this time next week, well, actually, no, I won't, I won't, actually, I'll be, like, at the airport, probably, actually, I should have boarded my flight, I don't know what time I'm flying, but,

yeah, I'll be on my way, I'll be on my way, and I'm buzzing for it. Seriously. But do you guys remember the last holiday I went on and made it a big deal, didn't I? About that flight. About that flight. Can't deal with flying, as you guys know. But anyway, usual Tuesday episode today. Dilemma. Weekly debate. It's a Tuesday. I'm excited. I picked out some good dilemmas today. Thank you guys if you sent them in. I love you so much you for trusting me and let's just get straight into it thank you so much for listening to Leah on the line remember to leave a rating on apple podcast and spotify and hit the notification bell you can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leah on the line at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leah on the line and at leah levain to see visual clips of the podcast. I love you. Enjoy the episode. Okay, picking up my phone has given

me anxiety, right? Because if you sing and you post it online, I don't know if you guys are similar to me. But whenever I post the singing video, I get the fear like I need to put my phone down for a bit before because I will delete it. Like I will delete it. I just overthink and then I think to myself, Oh, I don't fucking matter. Is it that deep? Is it like a big audition or is it just me posting, having a good time? Anyway, so let's kick it off with the weekly debate. All right. This week's question is, is jealousy healthy in a relationship? So I have no idea what you guys are going to say because I feel like it's going to be quite mixed. I know there's definitely a lot of people that are like, fuck no, like it's a red flag, blah, blah. But then I know there's definitely going to be people that it's like, well, yeah, do you not care? Do

you know what I mean? So let's have a little look. Um, okay. Of course, if my partner wasn't jealous, I would wonder who else he was looking at. Okay. Good point. Good point. Unhealthy if it causes you to be bitter and act in toxic manners. Healthy if communicated well. Yeah, I'm with you on that one, I agree. It's all about the communication, babe. I'd say being protective is healthy, but jealousy not so much. See, I would personally say the other way around. Like, I'd say a bit of jealousy is fine, but if you're, like, all protective.

Like, fuck, I'm fucking worse, why do I go i've got i can handle myself babe do you know what i mean so yeah i'm actually the opposite with you on that one isn't that funny um no i literally can't have friends because he gets jealous leave babe leave the fuck oh i love you i'm your friend and there's nothing you can do about that all right um okay if it's healthy jealousy no sly or bad intentions when someone is flirting with my partner it makes me step up my game we both flirt with other people but are never sly or disingenuous we love each other and know that it's normal for our hormones to exercise that, but we would never cross the line following, kissing, touching, etc. Oh my God.

Okay. This one. I feel like not jealousy over small things like friends or work colleagues, but I think it can happen. A little jealousy. Your partner should be making you feel secure though. Yeah, babe. jealousy your partner should should be making you feel secure though yeah babe um to some extent natural jealousy that can be made into a joke not nastiness yeah i feel you on that one um yes just a little bit though if you're not jealous do you even love them yeah i see what you mean i well i

mean i don't think it suggests that they don't love you but i mean i've been with someone who was the least jealous person in the world and like i was a bit like come on give a fuck please like i just i'd send him a picture of like this guy who came into my work and bought me flowers one day like a customer and he always come in he like work next door and he bought me flowers one day and i sent a picture of him to my boyfriend I was like oh a bit of competition there babe and he's like oh what a nice guy I was like oh fuck me you are secure with me aren't you but that was a healthy relationship so and I knew he loved me so I don't think jealousy ever means they don't love you I think maybe that just shows how secure they are I don't know but then I get what you mean. Sometimes it's a bit like, don't get too comfortable, babe. Don't get too secure. A little bit is healthy.

If there's none, they don't care about you enough. It's normal as long as you can talk about it and it's not constant. Otherwise, red flag. Yeah. If it's like a constant thing, like you're giving me a fucking headache now, like I can't even go on a night out without you being all stressed about it to be fair i get like nights out is a different situation it can be stressful okay let's all be bit honest there it's not the best feeling but if it's like every time to the point where you can't enjoy yourself oh fuck off do you know what i mean um my boyfriend is way too laid back sometimes i'm like can you just be a bit jealous, babes? Yeah, I know what you mean. It can get out of hand. As an overthinker myself, I get jealous easily, but 90% of the time

it turns out to be nothing, usually over a scenario I've created in my head. Yeah, I can understand that. A little bit shows that you care. A bit, yes, not when it becomes controlling. Absolutely. I'd say more being protective assured assured in your partner like jealousy but not spiteful jealous okay a little bit of jealousy is healthy shows you care it's okay to be oh my god protective but jealousy can be a bit too much sometimes so yeah a lot of you guys are saying protective is good why can't I say protective I keep going to say projective yeah a lot of you guys are saying protective is good. Why can't I say protective? I keep getting to say projective. Yeah, a lot of you guys are saying protective is good,

but jealousy is different. See, I think jealousy is more chill. I think jealousy is a bit like, oh, I'm getting a bit jealous. But protective is a bit like, that's my fucking boyfriend. Do you know what I mean? That's what protective means to me,

which is like more dramatic, but maybe we just have different opinions on what that means. Tiny bit is definitely healthy. None is not good in my experience. I used to be super jealous in the beginning of dating my boyfriend and it brought out the worst in me. I can imagine to be fair. 100% in my opinion, if there isn't a tiny bit of jealousy, you clearly don't care. Someone just says straight up, no, jealousy you clearly don't care someone just says um straight up no i'm such a jealous person and i hate it i try so hard not to be but i just can't help it i think a little bit of jealousy is okay as long as it doesn't cause problems yep a little jealousy is normal and can be flirty funny but if

it becomes controlling it's toxic yeah okay so i feel like we're all pretty much on a similar page where it's like a little bit i kind of would like to think that there's a little bit of jealousy like what are you not scared to lose me at all do you know what i mean it's not even one percent of you scared that someone is going to come and sweep me away from you do you know what i mean are you that like unjealous is that word definitely not but you that secure that's like yeah crack on mate flirt flirt mate, flirt, flirt away. She's with me. Do you know what I mean? Or maybe it's just that they're so secure in themselves and in their relationship, which they should be. Because as I do say, I don't consider myself a very jealous person.

I do say this a lot, but it's genuinely true. Like I remember in previous relationships, because luckily my boyfriend now, he's not really a night out guy and that's fucking fantastic can I just say and I'm not a night out girl either so we're both equal on that level but in my previous relationships like I was with a guy who loved going on nights out with his friends and like his friend would come home and be like oh yeah like he was chatting to loads of girls tonight and I would just be like cool like I literally couldn't give a fuck because in my head I think well if you were then fuck you but if it was a joke then fuck you do you know what I mean it's like either way fuck you for that but I just I'm one of them people that I think like if you are going on a night out and chatting

to girls and like being a dick like don't let me stop you from doing that because I don't want to be with you if that's the case do you know what I mean don't let me stop you from doing that because I don't want to be with you if that's the case do you know what I mean don't let me stop you yeah you be you and I'll just decide that I don't want to be with you do you know what I mean I think that's why my jealousy isn't like on a massive scale because I'm very certain in the fact of just like well if you're gonna act in a way that's gonna make me feel insecure then that says more about you than it does me do you know what i mean so yeah very interesting weekly debate guys oh get a new fucking vocabulary leah you say the same shit every single time but anyway thank you guys for sending in all of your opinions send in any weekly debate ideas as always and let's get into some dilemmas. Okay, I am going to slow it down because I've

literally just realised I'm talking 100 miles an hour today. Honestly, I don't know why. I have no idea and I'm purposely trying to talk slower right now and it doesn't sound natural. Do I sound like I'm talking different? like I'm talking weird anyway let's just kick it off with this dilemma shall we everybody get comfortable thank you for joining me thanks for having me in your company love you so much all right hello beautiful hello gorgeous I love listening to your podcast it feels like a safe space which I always leave feeling super positive good I love that I love you so much. I look forward to listening to every new episode, but I must admit sometimes I save them for when I'm feeling

a little bit down as I know they will cheer me up. Oh, that makes me feel so happy. Honestly, I'm so glad. Okay. Let's have a word. My dilemma is about the dreaded beer fear. I don't know if we've really talked about this before, which I'm shocked about because I feel you. And she says, this is the story of my life. I've always enjoyed drinking socially, but recently I've just feel like it doesn't agree with me anymore.

Whilst I enjoy socializing and going out, I always feel really anxious and rubbish for almost a week afterwards. I find that when I get too drunk, I end up saying stupid things and oversharing with strangers. It's not that I'm unhappy in my life, I have a great job, supportive friends and a family and a happy relationship. But I do feel like if I continue to go out and embarrass myself that my relationship won't last. It also affects me physically and I feel like I

can't put 100% into my work as I'm physically exhausted. I guess my question is how do I go out without taking it too far every single time? Is alcohol just not for me and should I try to go teetotal? If I do decide to stop drinking how can I be around it when all of my friends like to drink? From a lost girl who can't continue to feel like this every weekend. P.S. I think it would be a great idea to dedicate an episode to the beer fit and how to make yourself feel better. Let me know if that's what you guys would like as well. But OK, so you're obviously drinking every single weekend and it just sounds like you've just got to the point where you're like, I can't fucking do this anymore.

And trust me, I think that's really common. Like, I'm sure a lot of people get to a certain age or a certain time in their life or they can just, know live that life for a certain amount of time and then they finally sometimes not always but a lot of the time I genuinely feel like it happens people get to a point where they're like oh this just ain't for me anymore I can't fucking do it so I feel you on the anxiety the anxiety it's different it is a different level right and one thing I've noticed about myself and I know you said like you're not unhappy like you have so much great stuff going on in and around your life but for me what I noticed is if I'm anxious about one tiny thing whether it be my health anxiety is you know a bit of a peak or I'm stressed about money I'm stressed about my job or I'm stressed about whatever it is it can be minor it can be massive and if I drink

the anxiety is there I don't enjoy it as much I regret it so much the next day but if I'm really happy and I mean like extra happy like you know like when you're first seeing someone or like you're on holiday like whatever it is that you've got all them happy hormones are at a peak I don't get the anxiety at all. But if I'm just in like a genuine, like quite a quite a general state of stress, that's, you know, pretty normal, it can be really bad. And the only time I don't get anxiety is if there's something really good happening in my life. So I get it. And for me, personally, I used to go out drinking all the time at uni, was like a three nights a week you know I was just like a normal student and when I was in my third year I didn't drink

at all and I mean I was completely sober like I don't think I drunk more than like five times in my third year because my anxiety was so bad whether that be because that was when my health anxiety was at a peak or just the stress of uni homesick my relationship I wasn't sure about at the time so you know all those things together I was like I don't want to drink I don't want to I'm not enjoying it I hate it and then it wasn't until I left uni went and did a show and I was really happy and I enjoyed drinking again I didn't get anxiety and stuff but one thing I have learned and this will come back to you don't worry I'm just saying this in case anybody can relate one thing I have learned is it's not really my thing like drinking going out partying it's not really for me I like a day drink but a couple and I'll like a cocktail in the sun and I never ever get steaming ever like it's so rare that I'll be

I'm fucking steaming you know like I used to do it where I'd go to the bar when I when I was at uni I'd go to the bar five Jager bombs please bang bang bang bang bang straight to the dance floor five Jager bombs please bang bang bang and I'd just be my motive of the night was get fucking blackout steaming and that was my idea of fun weird it could never be me now and now as soon as I feel drunk like tipsy good feeling loving it I'm still drinking as soon as I get to the point where I'm like right I'm drunk now my fucking eyes are going a bit blurry like when I sit down on the toilet I think oh fuck when I hit that point I stopped drinking I'm like right okay I'm drinking. I'm like, right, okay, I'm done now. I'm drunk. And I will just enjoy my night drunk. So I don't know if this is something you might have ever even

tried. But if you haven't, this just goes to everyone as well who doesn't really like getting that level of really, really drunk. When I'm drunk, I'll just stop. And that sometimes can be like 11 o'clock. The night's still young, do you know what I mean? But I will stay drunk the whole night and I'm having a good time and blah, blah but I'm not gonna get any more drunk and I'm just gonna very slowly sober up before I go to sleep at night because I find that for me I that beer fear feeling that you're talking about is the worst when you crash at night when you hit the pillow and you're blackout you're gone you. You wake up in the morning with that, wait, I need to slowly rejog my memory. What time did I get in last night? How did I, how did I get undressed? Who walked me home? What time did I get in? You know, and then you check

your phone, like who did I fucking text last night? Did I post any stories? I only get that if I know I crashed when I hit the pillow. So if I stopped drinking, I know exactly how I got that if I know I crashed when I hit the pillow so if I stop drinking I know exactly how I got home I know exactly what time I went to sleep I checked my fucking Instagram stories before I went to sleep and I don't wake up with it as bad I'll just have the general anxiety but I feel calm about it because I felt more in control when I went to sleep last night because I think for me I don't know about you but a massive part of it is like the lack of control it's what stresses me out so I would just say that to you maybe try that like maybe just try once you're drunk just stop drinking and also another thing that I do is I don't unless I'm like trying to catch up

I've just got there and I'm a bit late and everyone's drunk and I'm sober but unless that's the case I'll drink singles all night I don't really drink doubles because I like to drink slowly so that I don't have to stop drinking at 9 p.m do you know what I mean I'll drink singles all night so that I know I'm still going to be drinking with everyone all night I'm just probably not going to be a steaming I'll still do shots and stuff like that but I'm very aware of right how drunk am I what should I drink next And also I'll drink like gin and tonic or I'll drink like vodka, lime soda, because I just try to drink things that hydrate in. Whereas I know if I just go fucking ham on the wine, I'm going to have a banging head in the morning. I'm going to be

fucking steaming if I'm drinking wine, because I think a lot of people think that beer is like vodka and stuff is harder than beer. in a large like strong beer there's large I mean in a pint of strong beer there's three units right but in one vodka it's one unit so if you had a single vodka and I don't know lemonade you could have three of those and it's equivalent to one strong beer do you know what I mean so yeah just another point but yeah I just find that if I feel like I'm controlling myself throughout the night my anxiety feels worse the next day so it's just one thing I want to say but what I also want to say is maybe don't go every weekend like maybe make it a thing where you'll just go like every weekend and then maybe like once a month if you

feel like you still want to go a bit less and try and fill your time with other things fill your fill your weekends with like family time or i don't i think you said you have a boyfriend but boyfriend time and whatever like or if you've got friends that don't maybe there's someone in your group that low-key feels like they're not enjoying it as much either or just like maybe try and do like a little brunch a little saturday brunch like all these little things that don't invite don't involve getting really really drunk do you know what i mean maybe just try and fill up your free time with other things because this is the thing alcohol is a depressant it makes you fucking

depressed it is literally a fact so you're not crazy for feeling like this like you said yourself we could do an episode on it so you know there's so many fucking people that feel anxiety after drinking and I think a lot of people take it out of their lifestyle for that reason it's up to you if you want to go teetotal I mean it's completely up to you but for me I did I did stop drinking um but now I still want to have a drink like when I have family parties or it's a birthday or we I don't go on nights out but like sometimes I might I'll get drunk but mine is I know I'm going to stay in control all night and I know I'm not going to drink to the point where I regret it and I'm not going to drink so much that I don't know what I'm doing do you know what I mean so

I think it literally is just a matter of self-control on the night and being able to say i know exactly where i was and exactly what i did i know exactly what i said and being still being able to have your conscience like obviously alcohol can just make you completely lose your conscience in terms of what you're saying what's coming out of your mouth how you're acting and don't get me wrong like i'll still get that feeling of like oh was i an absolute fucking twat last night? But then I was, I wasn't too drunk to the point where I can't even remember. I know when your friends are like, oh my God, you should have seen you last night. Fuck off. Seriously, if you're that friend, fuck you.

I hate those friends that are like, oh my God, you was crazy last night. Honestly, last night and you said this and you said that. Shut up. Give me at least a week to recover before you start relaying all the things that came out my mouth okay but yeah just a couple of things to consider babe hopefully that helps um yeah i love you you're not alone love you so much okay next dilemma hi leah love the pod and i hope you're well and having a good week oh i love you i hope you're also having a good week so me and my boyfriend have been together for almost five years I'm 23 and he's 26 we've had an up and down relationship for five years but recently I'm really starting to think he's going off me firstly he never tells me that he loves me anymore and when I say it to him he just says okay what I love you okay I love you. Okay. I love you. Okay. Sorry. That's fucking weird. Why would you do that? We never kiss. I'm not a PDA kind of girl, but he doesn't even kiss or cuddle me when we are in the

house or during sex. He doesn't compliment me anymore and never tells me I look nice. I understand that we have been in the relationship for a long time and that the honeymoon period can't last forever. But I'm starting to feel more like a friend than his girlfriend. He has recently opened his own business and is now drinking heavily a lot whenever I'm not staying at his house. We are saving for our own house but are currently living with parents. He is also going out drinking and not coming home. This has been an issue throughout the relationship. I have questioned him about this, but he always seems to have been staying out of mates.

Coincidentally, it's always a mate I've never met and he's never previously mentioned. What the hell? How many fucking mates have you got? Like, what? I've noticed wait it's almost like he's they don't exist so that you can't check or find out any facts you know like if he was like oh i stayed at ben's but you know ben then there's a chance you could hear that ben actually was with his girlfriend that night ben wasn't even out do you know what i mean so he makes them up but just a

thought okay i have noticed he's also been getting snapchats of other girls i haven't snooped but i've asked him outright who these girls are and he said that his friend has put his snapchat handle on a website as a joke right how was that entertaining for anybody so weird a weeks ago, while he was on one of his benders, I got a picture snapped out of a girl on his account saying, fuck off slags. He has a bird. Right, okay.

I asked him about this. Could you imagine your stomach if you got that off your boyfriend's account and it's a fucking girl saying, fuck off, he has a bird. bird right i asked him about this and he said it was his friend's girlfriend and she'd sent it to all the girls that had been snapchatting him to get them to leave him alone wow this guy honestly the fucking shit that comes out of his mouth i've asked to get involved with his friends but he says i wouldn't enjoy it because i don't drink like they do and i look miserable fuck off how rude how fucking rude last time we went on a double date with his friend and his girlfriend i became the butt of the joke with his girl sorry

with him saying things like babe you left anything in the car. I think there's a smile for you in the glove box. Oh, my fuck. Don't take the piss out of me, first of all. But don't take the piss out of me in front of everyone. That is so rude. I may have appeared miserable on this night, but that's because i had to drive them around since when we arrived they all ordered drinks and my boyfriend said oh don't worry my

girlfriend will drive i'm sorry piss off you're so rude how rude is he i just want to know what your advice would be is this just a rough patch no i've been with him since i was 18 and he's my first boyfriend so i'm not sure what is normal in a relationship. We're making big steps in our lives and are serious about getting a house together. So I want to get someone's opinion before they, before things get real. Thanks. Love you. Okay. Listen, I'm literally just going to say it. Fucking break up with this twat. I know you're not going to do it just because I've told you to do it. But listen, if you want my opinion, what a pig. What an absolute twat. First of all, there's so many levels of disrespect coming from him. The Snapchatting girls, first of all, the staying

out on nights out all the time and just making up where the fuck you are embarrassing me in front of your friends taking the absolute piss out of me like i'm sorry you deserve so much better than that and if that was my best friend telling me that i say are you all right listen get your stuff you're coming to see me like there's no way you should be convincing yourself that you deserve that. You deserve someone that makes you feel beautiful. Not that you've got a face like a slapped ass. First of all, if you have got a face like a slapped ass, it should be, are you okay, babe? Is everything all right?

My gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous girl, I love you. Not, oh, the thing you left your smile in the glove box, love. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Fuck off. I'm not joking he's being horrible and it's like he's bullying you like he's bullying his girlfriend it's really fucking nasty like if that was a friend saying that to another friend i'd be like you're literally nasty like it's given it's given bully vibes like it's nasty you deserve a guy who if you do look miserable he's checking that you're

okay and if there's anything he can do to make sure that you are okay it's involving you in his life it's my i'm not getting snapchats from loads of fucking girls first of all okay that's that's another thing you're not going to receive snapchats of girls on my phone saying things that are going to give you anxiety like stop messaging him he's got a girlfriend yeah and he's not going to say things to you like nah you ain't coming because you're miserable do you know what i mean you deserve the opposite of the way this person is reacting is really cruel and really nasty you're beautiful you're kind you're funny you have so much to offer to anyone and he does not deserve you he's not being very nice and that's bullshit i'm not being funny i love you so much

you deserve so much better than him and i'm really sorry that you're feeling like this because like you said this is your first relationship you don't know what's normal and i don't like using the word normal because no relationship is the same but what I will tell you is that is not acceptable and that is not kind that is not loving like I'm sorry you tell him I love you and he says okay he says okay I love you okay he never compliments you he never kisses you he doesn't even cuddle you or kiss you when he's having sex with you like this is not nice you're this is not kind this is not good enough i'm sorry i love you you deserve better than him keep me updated with that one please definitely definitely keep me updated with that one actually while we're on that note any dilemma that i've ever answered any update please send

them in because i get people asking a lot like is is there an update to this? Is there an update to this? Please send in any updates if we've ever done your dilemmas. This is your sign, send it right now. All right, let's do another dilemma. Oh my God. This one's called my boyfriend texts his girl best friend. Let's kiss and we might as well shag. let's have a read oh my leah leah leah do i have a dilemma for you i think i've messaged him before regarding concerns around this topic but more has happened since and i cba lol she goes to uni in a different city to us for context sit tight because this is long okay get comfortable everybody buckle up Before I get into the story, I just want to point out that I've had an off feeling about my boyfriend's girl best friend since I

started speaking to him, never mind now. Me and my boyfriend have been nearly together a year and to be honest, majority of it is amazing and super chill. However, let me list a few strange things I've heard about regarding his girl best friend that have been adding up and adding up in my head. When I was first speaking to him he told me that on certain nights out when she's come back from her uni she would kick off with him for not spending time with her or being with her most of the night calling him a c-u-n-t and a shit friend. She does this often. She's cried him before about how he doesn't text her every day like they used to do you like what bear in mind she has her own

boyfriend so back off you got your own boyfriend yeah back off another but i'm not being funny even i don't message my boyfriend all day every day. What could you possibly want to talk about? Yeah, mood. He spent ages reassuring her as she was upset. He has to make excuses to leave earlier when he wants to see me as it's just easier. Get some balls, bro. Seriously, I'm with you on that. She's second on his Snapchat best friends list.

Fucking hell, this was Snapchat. Which triggers me because that's what's happened in my last relationship and he ended up cheating on me with her i wrote that in last friday if you remember reading it out yeah we remember in the cheating cheating stories up i've been out with everybody a couple of times and she's been moody as if i'm taking the attention from her okay she's jealous of you she even got her boobs out accidentally. I mean, come on. What the? How do you accidentally get your tits out? I mean, to be fair, they can slip out, but I can't relate to that. Anyway, so much dodgy stuff has left me questioning, but I've never ever brought it up to my boyfriend. So after all of the buildup,

I decided to stand up for myself and flag the concerns about how she is he said she does his head in and can't ever be bothered for her at the time and finds a way to leave see i always just feel like that's a red flag like she does my head in like oh like why can't you just say like okay i understand your feelings you know what i mean like what i don't know it's all it feels like a bit of a bluff when they're like yeah fucking bitch honestly she's a fucking bitch i do not fancy i do not fancy you know what i mean okay this was reassuring at first so my main points to my boyfriend about the whole situation were okay we have some bullet points here guys i love this okay she may just be a girl who wants extra

attention from male friends but i feel that it can't all be one-sided and she surely gets an impression or the go-ahead to behave that way i'm getting the vibes too yeah you clearly don't shut situations down yeah you seem more bothered about upsetting her as she is prone to booting off rather than how it affects me i like that that saying booting off she's booting right off i love that i never say that might start saying it so i did a bold move and said if she's just a friend then you should be able to confidently show me the messages between you and know nothing is happening to give me some reassurance yeah slay i'll do the same fucking thing to be honest because it should be no different to seeing messages between your lad mates i think that's fair to be honest you'd

like to think the messages between the boys are worse than between an innocent friendship with the girl because the lads banter you know yeah okay um they had just been on a night out in a group and i was also there later on. So he proceeds to show me the text from that night and most of it seems okay until I see, let's kiss. She replies something I don't even remember as I was in shock.

Then he replies saying, we might as well shag. No. So they're on a night out together messaging each other this shit oh my god then she's put uh tommy what the fuck was that so immediately i know it's not just coming from her and my head starts racing what else is going on what other texts are like that what happens on nights out when i'm not there if that's an

occasion where i've met them both after why is he letting this happen no wonder she's getting the impression to behave this way whether it's a joke or not if you wouldn't say it in front of me then you know it's fucking wrong he completely owned up and said how bad it was and nothing is going on and we ended up having a separate huge conversation which ended okay but i cannot get this whole ordeal out of my mind and i don't know what to think please help me love you i love you so much listen what i'm gonna say to you now yeah is there is no way in hell that is fucking sliding with me i'm telling you now if i went on my boyfriend's phone and he'd messaged another girl let alone a girl that I'm worried about and is clearly overstepping the line. And these messages are saying, we should kiss and we should fuck. There is no way in hell

I'm staying with them. Like I said, this is just me, right? I'm breaking up with you for that. And I know it's easier to say than do because as always I always say this I'm not emotionally invested so it's very easy for me to say but listen from the outside looking in fuck off are you joking you you're taking the piss out of me there we should we might as well just shag they fancy each other there's something listen they they might have never kissed they might have never ever done any physical cheating it might literally be just flirty banter but that's out of line that is disgusting behavior oh actually fucking disgusting actually disgusting like i'm no thanks like for me if i saw that it's game over i'll

never look at you the same i'll never trust you your word means bullshit now when i told you i don't like it and i feel weird about her and you've just started saying shit like oh yeah she's really annoying yeah it's really annoying you've literally messaged her from across the room when you're pissed saying kiss me you fancy each other and like like you said and listen i don't want to roll you up even more you're definitely gonna think what the fuck else is said that's just what i've seen like what else has been said do you know what i mean and i think you deserve better than that and listen he might not have ever cheated on you properly i don't know if you cast that as cheating I personally would consider that cheating in my books that's cheating kiss me we might as well shag this is actually cheating but anyway that's

the debate isn't it um he yeah nothing might have actually happened more than that between them but it's like if you if they don't receive any sort of backlash from that that it's gonna continue and i'll be talking to her i say what the fuck are you doing doesn't she have a boyfriend i'm telling him as well hundred there's probably people listening to this like they are you literally this is the worst way to react i'm telling her boyfriend i'm talking to her i'm saying what are you doing you're a girl i'm a girl we're supposed to have each other's backs you look out for me i look out for you that's how it works when we have pussies right we look out for each other okay but for some reason there is something so out of line happening here i don't

know why they've decided that it was it was all right i don't know if it's like the forbidden fruit thing but so don't let please don't let i'm not saying you have to leave them but leave him them you have to leave him but please do not let him think that that's just going to be swept under the carpet like if that was me i need at least a couple of weeks to think about this now and hopefully that will make him shit himself and he'll think oh my fucking god i've absolutely fucked it why did i flirt about that sort of line i'm never doing that again i'm never ever ever doing this again because i cannot lose this girl but if you're just like that's really stressing me out and really giving me anxiety please don't cheat on me he's just gonna think well i can do what i want do you know what i mean

so i think we've got to make sure if you want to stay with him which i would understand because you're in love and it's hard to leave somebody over a message i totally get it if you do stay which you know i wouldn't be against it but please do not let him think that that is forgivable please do not make it easy for him do you know what i mean because if he doesn't see that and realize he's got some serious making up to do there and some serious trust to rebuild and has some serious boundaries to set in place with this friend fuck that anyway do you know i mean if you don't feel like that then this isn't going to work if you don't see this situation and think i've fucked it i've got some really i've got i've got some damage control to do here

you know i've got to really focus on my girlfriend for a bit now make sure she knows how much i love and appreciate her we're not getting that energy from him he's going to do it again probably worse because he's got away with it that's really bad it's really out of line and do not dumb it down in your head because it was just a message it's so disrespectful and so disgusting and could you imagine if you text a guy saying we should shag could you imagine how that would make him feel i'll say you do it no definitely don't do that game but yeah honestly babe that's my opinion because you deserve better and i love you and honestly that's fucked it is fucked i love you all right

thank you guys so much for sending in your dilemmas i love you thank you for trusting me i'm sorry if when i give advice i can be a bit too brutal but that's just because i feel like when i can see that someone just deserves better i will just fucking say that do you know what i mean but then i totally understand you're probably going to come away from the from the episode hopefully feel a bit. Hopefully you'll just feel a bit more deep down like, I'm the fucking best. Do you know what I mean? Because you're incredible. You're all incredible. Don't let anyone tell you different. Don't let anyone disrespect you. All right. Let's wrap up the episode. Okay. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode thank you so much for listening

whatever it is that you have planned this week i hope you guys enjoy um i don't really know what i'm up to this week i've got a bit of prep to do for my holiday make sure i've got everything i need i mean i'm only going for like four nights and five days but i'm a girl so i'll probably take 50 outfits and wear the same bikini every day do i mean hand wash it in the sink with hand soap probably not good for the vagine but oh well anyway oh that laugh didn't sound like me anyway i'm going to see the jonas brothers on saturday so if anyone's there hopefully we will bump into each other i can't wait to see you and yeah i'm gonna go watch love island guys so have an amazing week and soak up the sunshine baby i'll see you on friday for a brand new episode

all right i love you Bye.