Leah on the Line - 8: Do you believe in right person wrong time & coping with your bf going travelling!

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode. This week we discussed whether you believe in "right person, wrong time" and as always it was a super interesting debate! There were some amazing dilemmas t...his week, from dealing with your boyfriend going travelling to being afraid of never finding the one. I absolutely loved this week and had the best time chatting with you all. As always send in your thoughts/dilemmas to leahontheline@gmail.com! Love you xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:34 It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Lear on the Line. It's Tuesday. I'm actually uploading. I really didn't think it was going to work out. I just didn't think I was going to get an episode out. I've been working Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I know I've just got this job, but I'm over it. No, I'm not really. Please don't sack me if you listen to this. I'm waiting for the day someone from my new job listens to this because they all know about it but if you are listening to this hey babe um yeah I'm sure you're wondering how's the job going finally not unemployed
Starting point is 00:01:17 do you know what I really like well okay I enjoy it like I'm not, well, okay, I don't, I don't dislike it, which is my main concern, I, you guys know, I've spoke about it before, it's not normal to dread your shifts, it's not normal to absolutely hate it, and be miserable at work, it's not normal, and if you are miserable at work, leave, and find another job, because it is not worth your mental health, but anyway, it's been good, I'm enjoying it in terms of I've actually managed to have a right laugh with everyone that I'm working with I feel really comfortable with everybody um I'm getting some I don't know if I should say this I mean yeah I'm just gonna not gonna say that I mean, yeah, I'm just gonna not gonna say that.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Um, oh, I'm sorry. I like it. Everyone that I work with is, is great. We're all at the same age. Um, there's a big team, which, you know, it does have it has, does have its pros and cons. Is that what I'm trying to say? You know, like a big team, it means loads of people making loads of friends. You're not overworked usually. Um, I will say I'm doing a shift next week 10 a.m I start
Starting point is 00:02:29 and I'll finish sometime between 11 30 and probably like 1 a.m depending on how busy it is yeah yeah I'm sorry what the actual fuck and I'm doing two of them this is the thing and I've said this to him at work. I was like, that's not normal. Like normally that shift is split between two people. Like what is it with the shifts in this place? But I'm just going to do it because at the end of the day, it means I'm getting all my hours across like three days. Oh, I mean, I'll see how I find it. I might not, I might not hate it. I might be like, well, you know, they're long days, but at least it means I'm, I'm only working three days a week rather than like four or five days a week. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, um, how are you guys?
Starting point is 00:03:16 I just did a TikTok live and it was actually really funny because this girl joined and she was like 12. Um, well she said she was 13, but that's only when I said you're actually too young to be on TikTok you're supposed to be 13 and then she went I'm 13 actually so I think she's 12 um and she joined she joined and she was like get a real job and I was like I I have a real job if this was last week I would have been like I'm trying hun but this week I was like I've got one darling don't you worry and then she was like podcasting is not a job I was like, I've got one, darling. Don't you worry. And then she was like, podcasting is not a job. I was like, yeah, I know. I, this is like, I don't make a penny from podcasting.
Starting point is 00:03:51 That reminds me, sorry, but what the actual fuck about the last episode at the beginning, there's that thing that was like, do you love this podcast? Do you want to give it some money? Like I'm actually, I have no idea why that was on I think I because I moved um like platforms to where I uploaded my podcast you know I was with something called podbean and now I'm with something called acast and I think I signed up for this like
Starting point is 00:04:17 thing what is that noise sorry I'm just a bit scatty at the moment i think i signed up for this thing without realizing and i had no idea that my podcast was going to do that at the beginning of last week's episode of friday's episode when it was like basically asking you for your money do not send me any fucking money let's get one thing straight i have turned that off it should not have been at the start of this episode but i was mortified when i literally played it back i was like what the actual fuck is that how do i get rid of it and i can't get rid of it i'd have been at the start of this episode but i was mortified when i literally played it back i was like what the actual fuck is that how do i get rid of it and i can't get rid of it i'd have to delete the episode and re-upload it and i'm not trying to i'm not trying to lose these ratings try i mean so yeah sorry about that i literally have no idea but i don't want any of
Starting point is 00:04:57 your money i hope none of you sent me any money if you didn't just tell me your name i'm sending it back um yeah it was like you can give as much as you like, I was like, fucking what, no, I don't, this is so embarrassing, what the hell, I couldn't believe it, I want ads on this podcast for sure, because I'm trying to make this a job, so I can, sorry, if you're listening from my work, I love it there, but, you know, the less hours, the better, ideally, do you know what I mean, this is my my passion this is my love so um yeah but don't don't thank me i do i do really enjoy it and i do really enjoy working the shifts with you guys it is real good fun um yeah so um that happened sorry about that um and also a girl slid into my dms i fucking love it okay she's into my dms and it was one o'clock in the morning I got home from
Starting point is 00:05:46 work finished my shift I got into bed caught up on all my socials and checked my DMs and I had this uh voice note from this girl um her name's Corinne she's told me that she's okay with me sharing this I did double check with her and she basically sent me this voice note and I'm just going to play it to you okay hey sister do you know what I thought we hear your voice every single time we listen to a um what do you call it oh my god podcast a um podcast yeah you never hear us i feel yeah right i thought i am drunk right now not literally in the toilet right just in the cubicle and i just thought i listened to your podcast on my way to see my mate and i just thought i'm gonna voice it yeah so hey i listened to your podcast on my long journeys i know you always ask where we're listening from and yeah I just thought you
Starting point is 00:06:46 want to know what we all sound like and who we are this is me I'm Corinne I'm 25 hey Corinne I'm living my best life going out here and there you know living a sorry she's a sorry queen absolutely loving your podcast keep it going and I honestly loved it i hope that wasn't too noisy and horrible by the way i just literally held my microphone to the microphone so i don't know how i mean speaker to the microphone so i don't know how that's gonna sound but hopefully it's not too bad but it made me piss myself because i was like i said to her oh my god corinne i fucking love you and i love that but i'm absolutely howling at the fact that you're on a night out. It's 1am. You're sat on the toilet and you're thinking of me. Like why? Why mind your mind? It was so funny, but I really
Starting point is 00:07:35 appreciate it. I love it so much. So I want to make it a thing where at the start of all the episodes, I'm going to play out a voice note from one of you just telling me about you. I hope that's okay. You know, if I run out of voice notes, if you guys don't send me them, then I guess this is just going to be a one-time thing. But I, like I said, I feel like we're best friends. So I feel like I really want to get to know you all. And I feel like what a fun little feature that at the start of all the episodes like I can just pick one of you to play out your voice note that was just on Instagram DM so you can just send me that on Instagram DM if you would like to be part of
Starting point is 00:08:13 that I would love it so much um you can just be like hi like I'm Millie I'm from Croydon and I'm 19 I go to uni and I love your podcast I listen to it um while I'm studying like I just I just really want to know who you are like because I just talked to this microphone do you know what I mean and I really want to know who you are like you're real people like you're real people like sometimes it just baffles me like you're real girl and guy whatever just listening to me like why I love it I just love it it makes me so excited so I really want to just like hear more from you guys so um please send me some voice notes just like a minute long like actually to be fair they can't be longer than a minute on Instagram
Starting point is 00:08:58 but yeah just like send me a little voice note just saying like hello what your name is i don't know just sort of like i would love to meet you virtually a little bit more so yeah um i love that thank you so much corinne you're a queen hope you had a great night out how was your night out on the weekend then if you guys went out last bit you on friday did you have a good night i hope you didn't text your ex send me voice notes instead of texting your ex how about that when you're drunk send me your drunk texts send me your drunk voice notes i love that um also guys i've forgot an amazing hack that i should have told you about last week so we remember the only fans debate right so i actually have a fantastic hack so we had the debate about how do we feel about our boyfriends and only fans but there's a lot of us that probably don't know do our fucking boyfriends use only fans
Starting point is 00:09:52 i've got a hack for you girlies right try and sign up to an only fans account using your man's email. And if it says, sorry, this account already exists. Hey! That's it! Alright. You can, um, click the forgot password button. Your boyfriend will get an email saying, Hi, you've, um, asked for a password reset. He'll shit himself.
Starting point is 00:10:24 We're gonna go and approach him did you get an email today babe did you get an email from only fans yeah changing your password why the fuck have you got an only fans is that not a fantastic idea so i forgot to tell you that last week and i really didn't want to let that one slide so you're welcome hope it works out I actually did do it with Jake and I accidentally created an account of him because it let me create one because it didn't say oh this account already exists I accidentally created one so I had to delete it immediately after he probably got an email like thanks for signing up to OnlyFans he never mentioned it anyway moving on so weekly debate this week was one of the ones i mentioned last week and it is let me get it up do you believe in right person wrong time let's have a look i haven't read too
Starting point is 00:11:14 much into it because i just kind of wanted to save it for the uh pod i'm i don't know where i stand on it i'm kind of i feel like it's a bit of a vague question, but let's just go straight in with what you guys think. I've got a load of DMs of a load of stories. So many responses. I cannot tell you. You guys have a lot of experience with this, clearly, which I love. I need your wise words and experience and knowledge. So let's have a look. First one, I used to to but then I wasted seven years of my life for it to end up being the wrong person um I do me and my boyfriend were together for a while then broke up and got back together again six months after the relationship feels completely
Starting point is 00:11:56 different and we changed a lot in that time I love that you know sometimes people just need a little bit of a break in between you know go on a little personal journey figure things out on their own build themselves a bit more build their character a bit more and then they're ready to be to be with someone and that person happens to be the person that they were with previously you know okay um somebody says i'm in two minds because there can be a lovely person and you're just not ready for that commitment yet although if that person's really the one then surely that shouldn't matter i'm not sure yeah i like it i like that you're not sure and you still give us your thoughts i really appreciate that um somebody said yes sometimes we need to do inner work before we can love someone the way they deserve um 100 if they're the right person then the universe will have a plan and bring you
Starting point is 00:12:44 together do you know what i do think that helps when you're going for a breakup like it helps to think you know whatever's meant to be will be if we're meant to be together we'll be together i think that helps just to think like i'm just going to leave this in the hands of the universe and carry on with my life you know oh to back that up somebody says yes everything happens for a reason someone says yes absolutely you can meet the right person but just be at different stages in your life to an extent yes absolutely yes totally i feel especially when you're young sometimes you need to mature first oh interesting uh spin here somebody says not gonna lie i use it as an excuse wow yeah i mean true you could be like babe it's not you to lie, I use it as an excuse. Wow. Yeah. I mean, true. You
Starting point is 00:13:27 could be like, babe, it's not you. Like, I just feel like it's probably like right person, wrong time, you know? Yowch. I wonder how many times people have used that as an excuse. Do you think it's quite a common excuse? No, if it's the right person, it will work anytime. Wrong person will just never work. Okay. Yeah, I can see that. um no if the right person is the right one you'll make it work and it will work out um yes love my boy for two years but only 25 and want to live wish i could meet him in a few years okay wait so you're in a relationship saying he's the right person but it's the wrong time and you're with him now thinking that so you're like you've been together two years but you're in a relationship saying he's the right person, but it's the wrong time. And you're with him now thinking that. So you're like, you've been together two years, but you're saying I'm only 25 and I want to live.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Oh my God, girl, live. If you feel like that, don't hold that poor boy down with you. Let him go. Let him go and you need to go and live. That's what I think. Someone says, no, no, if they're the right person there will be no wrong time mm-hmm I like it no if they're the right person you'd make it work if you don't then clearly they weren't the one so a lot of you are like that a lot of you like no like if they're
Starting point is 00:14:36 the right person you'll make it the right time and a lot of you are like yep you know like life is about you know your priority should be you and sometimes you have to go on your own for a bit, put yourself first for a moment, and then you're ready to be with someone. And I see both. I see both sides. Absolutely, me and my BF split at 19 and 22. Eight years later, found each other again, happy as ever. Okay, now I'm going to head over to my DMs because I got some long-ass DMs and I want to read some of your proper experiences and stories.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Okay, I see an angry emoji in this message so I'm going to read it. She says, yes, 1000%. This is a long one so prep yourself. Met on Twitter in 2011 when he followed me and we're talking for a bit. Gosh, met on Twitter? I don't think I've ever met anyone on Twitter before. Accidentally bumped into him at the bus station one day on my way to sixth form, which was great because I was so shy I would have been too shy to meet up with him. Cute. Talked even more, went on dates, lost my virginity to him,
Starting point is 00:15:33 but then he sacked me off for another girl. Angry emoji. Fast forward three to four years. Both of us never spoke to each other since back then, both in relationships, but I knew deep down I was always in love with him. I checked his Twitter to see if he was still in a relationship when i realized he wasn't 2016 i messaged him a lie asking if i'd just seen him on the bus oh my god that old chestnut yeah oh i've just seen you on the bus steven oh was that not you oh sorry i really thought it was you how are you anyway like you single i like it i like the technique not a bad technique at all i'd check his twitter to see if he was still in a relationship oh wait sorry just read that bit
Starting point is 00:16:08 i hadn't but i needed a convo start because we hadn't spoken four years damn and fast forward to 2022 we have our own house and our first little baby who arrived six months ago so 100 000 right person just wrong time back in 2011. But look at us now. Also love the podcast. Thank you. What an amazing story. You lost your virginity to the boy and now you've got a baby with him. Wow, that's incredible.
Starting point is 00:16:36 I'm so happy for you. That is stunning. All right, next one. I absolutely used to believe in right person wrong time because of the boy I was seeing before I met my fiance we acted like boyfriend and girlfriend and I met the family and vice versa in casual settings but he wouldn't come here for some reason and I thought he was the one but it didn't work out and it broke my heart however looking at the situation since I met my fiance and he met his wife so it wasn wasn't right person at all. Wrong person and wrong time, lol.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Saying that, I do understand how people do feel that way as I did before my current situation, but I think you realize in different circumstances that it wasn't right person. Right. Okay, so you're talking about like if somebody thinks about a past relationship that they were the right person but the wrong time
Starting point is 00:17:23 and they wanna be with them now, but you know, they're with other other people and so you're thinking about that when you never actually got that right time never got that back together reunion time okay let's have a look I used to think right person wrong time was a thing I had with my ex-boyfriend until I slowly worked on myself and got over him found my current boyfriend and I've never been happier so I think it was just young love that I thought would happen again but it wasn't meant to be um nope I believe there's many right people out there for you if they came into your life the way they did at the wrong time then it wasn't meant to be I believe
Starting point is 00:17:59 everything happens for a reason I had a boyfriend he treated me like an angel I left their relationship as I felt he wasn't fitting into my next chapter in life I thought it was bad timing but really since then I've realized he was just totally the wrong person for me and I wish I'd learned that sooner I like that so my thoughts are um I don't believe in right person wrong time I believe in right person right time and I don't mean that in terms of like, if they're the right person, then you'll make it the right time. What I mean is, I don't believe that things happen for you at the wrong time. Like you guys know you're exactly where you're meant to be right now. Like I believe in that. I believe in, you know, your journey is the way your life is meant to go. for example like let's say I met Jake
Starting point is 00:18:47 um five years ago and then we broke up I think that was right at that time and then we broke up spent a couple of years apart and then we got back together now I think and this is also the right time I think we were meant to be together then to go through this, to learn this, to lead me to this place. And then we were supposed to split. And then we were supposed to get back together at this age. I believe that everything is the right person in the right place at the right time.
Starting point is 00:19:15 I genuinely do. So I feel like there's no wrong time. If it doesn't work out and you never get back together, it wasn't wrong. It was right. you were supposed to be with that person you were supposed to go on that journey you were supposed to learn them lessons and it was supposed to bring you to where you were wherever you are now and take you on on whatever journey it took you on and it was supposed to end when it did and if it never comes back then he's he's not the right person for you in this time um but he was then do you know what i'm saying does that make any sense i'm i'm not gonna try and explain
Starting point is 00:19:51 that anymore because then i'll just ramble and ramble but does that make sense just uh i feel like everything is the right person in the right place at the right time whether you get back together or not it's still right for you at that time in your life and in that moment that's just my opinion so I don't deep things too much like that I don't think oh you know oh it was the right person at the wrong time I said no this is this is my life this is my journey this is where I'm meant to be this is where life wants to take me and you know I'm rolling with it baby so yeah interesting I actually thought a lot of you would say yeah but and you did a lot of you did say yeah but I would probably say after reading through that the majority is no you don't
Starting point is 00:20:31 think so you think if it's the right person then you will be together forever but I don't necessarily mean I don't necessarily think that makes them the right person um just because you're together forever I think right person right time temporary or forever still right at that time so yeah interesting weekly debate you guys were really excited about that one so I hope it didn't disappoint um next week I'm gonna do the um how do you feel about your partner being previously engaged. So head over to my Instagram, probably today when you're listening to this, I'm going to put that out. So if you're listening to this on Tuesday, on the day that it comes out, head over to my Instagram to get your say on the weekly debate. Let's get straight into some dilemmas. So first one, hey Leah, hope you've had a great week. Thank you, I hope you had a great
Starting point is 00:21:27 week too. I need to know your thoughts. So I graduated last summer from a fashion course and then soon after I got a job in the industry as an assistant buyer on a lingerie department of a well-known fashion brand. Very cool. At first I loved it, allows me to live in the city with my boyfriend and work full-time. However, I'm just over six months in and realizing it's not for me I'm a creative person and this job is very admin based and no creativity I want to be making social media posts or designing prints something to be really passionate about but I just don't feel passionate I don't want to leave my team is that all amazing and as I've only been there six months is this too soon to leave already so I think it's really important that you don't have any regrets
Starting point is 00:22:16 in your life and look back and wish you'd done done things differently so I honestly would probably talk to you your manager or head office or whoever and express your concerns and maybe ask if there's any opportunities for you to get creative um do you know what I mean and just say I've got an itch I need to scratch I'm a really creative person I feel a bit held back in this role is there an area or anything I can do in this role that will help me express my creativity um do you need any support with the social media side um is there a way I can get involved in that and you know you never know like she might go okay well let's have a talk about this let's have a look at this or he I'm assuming it's a woman because it's a lingerie brand but could be a man and you never know something might happen from that if you express it um your other option
Starting point is 00:23:17 would be obviously to leave to find a job somewhere else but I would make sure you've got that. Next job lined up before you leave. You know I wouldn't just go. Oh this ain't for me. I'm quitting. I would probably get applying. Go into some interviews. You know.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Maybe some like social media content. Create in for a brand. If there's some roles like that available, get applying for them, see if you can get a job that you feel excited and passionate about and then leave. And your other option is to, I suppose, just stick it out. Like you said, you feel like six months is a little bit early maybe so maybe you could just wait um until you've been there a little bit longer before you think about leaving it might look a bit better to another brand but then also I feel like if you were going to go to an interview and they'd say oh how come
Starting point is 00:24:15 you're leaving after six months it would actually be a good thing to say I'm a really creative person and I wanted to express my creativity and I wasn't able to do that in this position so you know I don't think it's a bad thing for you to leave after six months if you're moving on to a position that you think will fulfill you a bit more um my advice to you is if you're a creative person never never hide it always live your life doing what you love you know I could have I could have gone, I'd love to be a singer, but let me do something that's going to make me rich, and, you know, want to be a fucking lawyer, or something smart, but I couldn't do it, I would rather be happy, so I wanted to be an actress,
Starting point is 00:24:56 and be a singer, so I pursued the creative route, and no regrets, I absolutely would be miserable doing anything else, so, um yeah I think you should be really proud of yourself for getting this job living in the city like you said so many things that you love about it and so many parts of it that you are proud of and as you should you're amazing but never never hide the creative side I think a lot of people um don't put that into their career because they think oh I should be doing something academic or like you said um what was the word you use admin based because that that qualifies as a good job in society but fuck that like you actually just want to be doing
Starting point is 00:25:38 something that makes you feel alive and makes you feel bloody good about life and makes you enjoy life so yeah um I say see if there's any opportunities in your current workplace to to get creative and if there isn't um try and look for another job before you leave and you know if you just look on online there's so many brands that want social media work and stuff and you'll definitely you'll definitely get it i believe in you like you have so much opportunity you so many opportunities to do it um but don't what i'm gonna say is don't don't don't settle for this feeling do something about it um yeah they're just two of your options i hope i hope it helps um and you're amazing and i love you all right i met my best friend's boyfriend's flatmate my okay hold on a second right this one is called i've caught feelings from my boyfriend's flatmate who has a girlfriend friend. Oh, shit. Okay. Okay. Everyone take a deep breath. Everyone calm down. Let's see. Let's
Starting point is 00:26:53 see what this is. Okay. I met my best friend's boyfriend flatmate. Okay. That's so confusing. I met my best friend's boyfriend's flatmate. I met my best friend's boyfriend's flatmate. Okay, why is that so hard for me to comprehend? For the first time in October and we clicked straight away but he had a girlfriend. But you said it's your boyfriend's flatmate, not your best friend's boyfriend's flatmate. I'm confused. Oh my god, I'm literally gonna have a stroke. I don't get this. I didn't think anything of it until we started going out as a big group where i got to know him properly we started messaging as friends all the time would hang out one-on-one and i'd try to find my feelings oh my god one night we ended up staying together didn't have sex what do you mean don't tell me you even slept in the same bed with that
Starting point is 00:27:41 boy i'll be really disappointed in you if you did and then it started happening most weekends are you fucking serious i was in so deep even though he had a girlfriend i hope you're not saying in this boy's bed because i'll be really upset with you really disappointed in you his girlfriend was five years older than him and apparently the age was becoming a struggle from his side he told me he had strong feelings for me and wanted to carry on getting to know me after telling me that he eventually broke up with his girlfriend. Oh, okay, good. And he was sad and isolated himself even from me. Oh, this boy does not know what he wants.
Starting point is 00:28:18 I said to him we should probably stop seeing each other because I was in so deep but knew he wouldn't want anything serious anytime soon he said he wanted to carry on and stay close we still haven't had sex but I found out he's been getting with other people and now one month later has decided he wants to make things work with his ex I'm so sad even as a friend I feel like he shouldn't have done this to me what should I do we have the same friendship group I know I could never trust him but he's generally such a nice boy no he's not he's not such a nice boy he said, he's not. He's not such a nice boy. You said love you at the end. I love you too.
Starting point is 00:28:45 I love you so much. No, he's not. He's not a nice boy. Nice boys wouldn't do that to you. I'm sorry. He absolutely fucked everyone around there. He fucked his girlfriend around. He fucked you around.
Starting point is 00:28:54 And I was fucking with other girls. This boy does not know what he wants. But listen, it ain't you. And it ain't his ex. So poor her. I'm heartbroken for you because you've fallen for this boy. But if he wanted you, he'd be with you. And it's as simple as that.
Starting point is 00:29:12 And I'm gutted for you because obviously you really... I'm not being funny. If I was you, him breaking up with his girlfriend, I'd think he's doing it for me. Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a final store near you and save all semester long fido at your side we're gonna be together like we're gonna get married have children like that's what i'll be
Starting point is 00:29:56 thinking so i'm genuinely gutted for you that he's done that to you because he's made you feel like he wants you and then he's just shown you that he doesn't and that's fucking shit from him um but he shouldn't be spending the night with girls when he has a girlfriend so we already don't like that about him do you know what i mean um and like you said he's been messing around with random sleeping with other girls and now he's getting back with his ex this boy does not know what he wants and if somebody isn't 100% for you bye do you know what I mean we're not settling for anything less than someone that's absolutely obsessed of us okay and you deserve better than that and I'm sorry I know you're in the same friendship group um my advice would just be go oh well like move on and i know it's not as simple as that but i mean
Starting point is 00:30:47 in terms of your mentality emotionally it's going to be a lot more difficult than that but your mentality i think you just need to walk away from that and go you're not fucking me around like that darling like if he comes back to you and he's like oh i want to be with you now i'll do you bye that's nice you had your chance and your chances is no longer so and then he'll probably go back to his ex again that's what they always do so um I would remove yourself from that situation go on some dates with some other guys um remind yourself of your self-worth because this boy is not a good representation of it. And you're amazing and you deserve way better.
Starting point is 00:31:29 And I'm really sorry. But don't take it personally at all. It's not personal. It's not you. And it's not his ex slash getting back together. So girlfriend. It's not her. It's not you.
Starting point is 00:31:41 It's not the other girls that you see him with. It's him. It's him. He doesn't know what he wants. And that's not good enough. There's not a it's not you it's not the other girls that you see him with it's him it's him he doesn't know what he wants and that's not good enough there's not a problem with it but you know you haven't got to fuck people around but you know we've all done it we've all messed people around when we don't know what we want and you know it's not the end of the world he's obviously not a demon like he's not the worst person in the world but he's you keep saying he's such a nice guy but nah he ain't really a nice guy wouldn't have done some of the things
Starting point is 00:32:04 that he's done so i'm sure he is deep down but he's not acting very nice to you that's that's not good enough so we are going to go on a date with a lovely boy yeah and we're going to have an amazing time and have amazing sex and just have a fucking great day a great life because this boy doesn't matter he does not matter all right i love you so much okay next one is called boyfriend's toxic friendship group hey leah absolutely loving the podcast this it's really getting me through the stresses of third year oh my god girl i know the feeling okay so i've been with my boyfriend over a year and we're really happy together and i've never had doubts yay um my
Starting point is 00:32:49 boyfriend has his own house and a great job king however his friendship group really worry me as they're all three years older than me but still living the uni life with part-time jobs and living together in a uni house his best friend has been with his girlfriend for over four years and I've recently found out he's cheated on her on more than one occasion. I didn't find this out from my boyfriend. I was told by someone else, but my boyfriend now knows I know.
Starting point is 00:33:15 The girlfriend is so lovely, but I don't think it's my place or I know her well enough to tell her. The fact my boyfriend didn't tell me also is a bit strange. Then recently, another one of his girlfriends in this group has been broken up with by his girlfriend because she found him messaging other people after being together on and off for about three years.
Starting point is 00:33:33 So they're all cheating little bastards. I know it's probably nothing to worry about as these men are still living together in a uni house, going out whenever they like, and my boyfriend is the complete opposite with his own house and a 9-to-5 job. But it doesn't make me a bit... Do you mean it does? but it doesn't make me a bit worried when he does go out with them as i know they aren't loyal to their girlfriends does this make sense and am i just worrying about nothing thank you no i i get it like i know i that would make me stressed i would not like it if my boyfriend's friends were like that i'd be like first of all why do you like that and why do you support that like surely you're a better guy than that like why why do
Starting point is 00:34:07 you enjoy their company they're fucking knobs um and secondly I'd be like are you like that like how do you get on with people like that if you're not like that but you said that he has a full-time job he's got his own house I think your boyfriend sounds like his priorities are totally different to his friends so I genuinely I think you're so fine and I think unless somebody gives you any concerns or reasons to think that they would cheat on you don't even stress yourself out we can drive ourselves crazy over nothing like us girls we can fully just manifest this shit. Like we can just create a scenario in our head and it's just from nothing. Like our boyfriends will be like, where did you get this information? I'll be like, well, Steven cheated on Amy and Jamie was texting the other girls behind Laura's back and you hang out with them on Saturday the the 9th and saturday night was the night that jamie went
Starting point is 00:35:05 home with emma so if jamie went home with emma and steven went home with lauren who did you go home with like i can fully do that to myself and date call just be like okay hon well why don't you take a deep breath so i just think your boyfriend sounds lovely he sounds like he's got his life on the right track he sounds like he's happy and content in this relationship I think there's obviously nothing wrong with you expressing your concerns to your boyfriend and being like look it's not you you're an amazing boyfriend I love you so much but it does make me a bit paranoid that your friends are like this and I do worry like are they gonna make my boyfriend go astray like are you like that have you ever done anything like that behind my back like it does give me insecurities and hopefully he'll be like oh my god babe I would never do
Starting point is 00:35:55 that to you you're my wife you're my everything do you think I would do that to you no my friends are scum mate I am not like them my friends are scumbags they're pieces of shit hopefully that's what he says um and yeah i think focus on all the amazing things about your relationship because i think you're just letting his friend's situations get in your head and that's you know there's no need your relationship sounds lovely your boyfriend sounds lovely and i'm really happy for you that you picked him and not the other ones um i'm good for their girlfriends oh my god how can people cheat how can you actually cheat how can you do that how can you actually cheat oh my like just leave just leave don't be with
Starting point is 00:36:40 someone like that's their life like their life revolves around them not you all right next dilemma i love you hi leah i hope you're having a great week and can't wait for the podcast i love you i recently came out of a four-year relationship i'm 26 for reference and have this overcoming fear i'll never find the one as silly as it sounds i feel i won't have that fairy tale ending i dreamt of my whole life i it sounds I fear I won't have that fairy tale ending I dreamt of my whole life I'm not afraid that I won't have more relationships or of not finding a boyfriend but instead that I just won't find the husband or father to my children slash life partner I always thought I would have how do you deal with not knowing what's going to happen in
Starting point is 00:37:20 life to be clear I don't necessarily want this to happen for me now but i almost want the certainty that it will happen in future but i know that's not possible okay babe you're 26 like why are you worried about this like you just said you don't you're not you're not wanting it right now so what is the need for these worries and the stress do you know what i mean like don't think don't there's no need like don't be so worried you're 26 and you said you don't even you don't even want it yet so you've got nothing to worry about you have got nothing to worry about you're so you can meet someone at 35 and have children get married do it all at 35 you could do it at 40 you can do whatever as you want some women want to do it later in life because they want to live their young um selfish years and in the best way as they fucking should. So what I'm saying is, so if you're interested, you said it as well, actually, you can meet someone at like 50. Obviously, you'd obviously
Starting point is 00:38:32 want children before that age, but you could meet someone at 50 and still have like, you know, things cross 50 years with that person. So I wouldn't worry about meeting your life partner at all. You could do that at any age. You could literally meet them at any age and have so long to live your life with them. And you don't want kids yet anyway. So why is that a concern? Do you know what I mean? Worry is the most useless emotion because what's it going to do? What's worrying going to do? You're just literally taking away the peace of your current life. It's not going to do what's worrying going to do you're just literally taking away the peace of your current life it's not going to change anything besides how you feel in in this moment right now and you have control of that right now that's the only thing you have control of you can't control the future all you control is how you're feeling right now and what you're going
Starting point is 00:39:20 to do about that feeling and you're feeling worried what's the point in that bye i'm not worried life's going to be fine i'm 26 i've got my whole life ahead of me i'm so fine what's the worry what am i going to waste my time worrying i'll look back and go oh all that time i was worried worried about what i'm with this beautiful man i've got these beautiful young healthy happy children what was all that worrying about that's what you're gonna do i promise that's what you're gonna do so don't even make it a priority in your brain like you you don't want it yet so prioritize other things think about other things do you know what i mean does that make sense everyone that goes to anyone that's worried about it do you know what i mean life will figure itself out i promise you leave it in the hands of the universe it is not in your control the the man of your dreams will walk into your
Starting point is 00:40:11 life whenever he's meant to walk into your life right person right time okay love you too much you're gonna be so fine don't stress all right let's go this one's called boy problems hi leah loving your podcast so glad you started them. Thank you so much. I love you. So basically, I really want to hear what you think about the situation from an outsider's point of view because I literally have no idea what's going on. Me and my ex were together for around a year and a half and the first half of it was amazing. Then it went really toxic with being each other, with being with each other all the time through lockdown. Okay, I feel like a lot of people that happened to, a of people like i don't actually like you you're
Starting point is 00:40:49 living with someone and you're like i actually like you we do not get along we're just not friends anymore like i can't stand the air that you breathe so um anyway that's not coming from personal experience me and jake actually made it through lockdown somehow. Anyway, long story short, if it got bad, oh no. Anyway, long story short, it got bad at the end and I stupidly started flirting with a boy from work. You silly girl. My head was a mess and I know it was wrong. Okay, we forgive you, I love you so much.
Starting point is 00:41:17 My ex logged into my Instagram because he had a gut feeling and saw the messages so we obviously split up. Oh, devastated. Four months later later we started seeing each other again and basically got back together without the label he said he couldn't make me his girlfriend because he wasn't over what i did but we were acting like we weren't official anyway except posting on social media and the label so i was confused turns out he was
Starting point is 00:41:38 still speaking to other girls and everything which makes sense um made me think he wanted the best of both worlds i've now left him because two wrongs don't make a right and i feel he felt this is okay because of me and the boyfriend work every time i try to talk to him about how i'm upset it gets turned into what i did and how he felt he keeps saying we will get back together in the future but i think he wants to basically have the single life first and keep me there whenever he is ready for something serious can't wait to hear back let's be friends love oh I'm not going to say your name that was close all right I think I actually have been in a very very scarily similar situation like scarily similar to this um I wasn't texting anybody else though I'm not gonna lie but I did break up with someone um break his heart and then wanted him back we got back together but
Starting point is 00:42:34 he couldn't forgive me for what I did when we broke up and he couldn't he couldn't forget about it and because I was with other people and he couldn't move past it and it was always on the back of his mind so he ended it with me and then he's but then he wanted to be with me again so it was a very similar situation to you um you know like you broke his heart and he can't get out of his head blah blah but I think it's actually a control thing I think he wanted you back because you made him feel really rejected and really hurt and him getting back together with you took that rejection away I think um but I I think he still does actually want to be single and he's talking to other girls and if he was all for you these girls would not be in the picture that's what I think I do think it was him not being able to cope with the rejection to be honest
Starting point is 00:43:33 what do you think girls listening it just sounds like he's like a bit like oh she don't want to be with me I'm gutted and then the way of making that feeling go away was, oh, she wants me back, let me take her, and then also, he actually low-key enjoyed being single anyway, so he's like, oh, what do I do, um, because he probably does still love you, do you know what I mean, um, oh, yeah, I think you make a great point, like, he wants to have the single life and keep you there for whenever he's ready, and wants to have a single life and keep you there for whenever he's ready. And we spoke about this last time. Would you want me to wait for you? Do you? No, not going to happen, darling. Not waiting for you. So my advice, I guess,
Starting point is 00:44:17 right person, right time. You were meant to be together for the time that you were together. He was the right person for you at that time in your life. And it ended at the right time. If you get back together in the future, it will be at the right time. It will be when you're ready, when he's ready, when you've experienced whatever you both need to experience individually in your lives, when you've gone through whatever you, whatever you both need to go through. That is when you'll get back together if you do um yeah that's my personal feeling is try and get some uh what's the word like comfort from just going you know what i'm gonna leave it in the hands of the universe it ain't up to me um but don't sit around and wait i think move on with your life um prioritize something else right now whether it be your
Starting point is 00:45:05 career your friends yourself hiccup sorry happens in every episode doesn't it yeah um and let's put benjamin at the back of our minds for a moment because well he's going through something isn't he he's he's heartbroken he's dealing with rejection you've probably knocked his self-esteem a little bit from the texting someone else um and he's recovering from that in his personal on his personal journey in his way let that happen and if you're meant to be together i think you will but um i'd say don't sit there and say i'm just gonna sit here and wait for you because that's when people take advantage um and let's not let someone take advantage of you I did that I said okay well I believe that we're going to get back together one day so I'm just going to sit here and wait um and I did and he basically carried on with his life didn't want to be with me
Starting point is 00:45:59 knew that I was sat there waiting for him and then I got bored of that met somebody else went on a couple of dates like nothing serious but just made him just he was not a priority in my life anymore just I was single and I accepted that he didn't want to be with me finally and as soon as I accepted it he came running back so you know maybe that will happen but I think let's not tell him oh yeah babe well that's fine I totally understand I did break your heart I'm just gonna sit here and wait for you to be ready because that's not he's not in any rush to run back when he knows that you're sat there waiting he's just gonna go all right let me shag a couple more girls before I tie myself back down again realistically do you know what I mean so I say we go okay babe i totally understand i i really
Starting point is 00:46:47 i really broke your heart it was wrong of me i should not have texted that other boy i totally understand i've lost your trust i've lost your respect you deserve happiness um have a great life i'll always be here for you if you ever need a friend take care my darling and then he'll go what oh my fucking god she don't want to be with me now what the fuck have i done i should have just took a pack and if he really wants you then you'll get that together that's my thing that's my thinking um but you know i'm not always right i'm often not right so don't listen to me don't ever take my advice any of you do actually i'd say i give quite good advice do you can't make your mind up love all right i hope that um ends well for you i love you so much right how long have we been rolling 48 minutes okay because when i was on live just now ellie
Starting point is 00:47:37 shout out to you ellie ellie love you ellie she said can you do a 50 minute minimum episode please and i said just for you ellie i'm gonna so shout out ellie um shall we do one last dilemma then just to make it over the time limit for rls okay last one hi leah my dilemma of this week is my boyfriend has been nagging me about moving abroad for the semester by abroad i mean cali hong kong australia jesus you couldn't go any further i know i can't say no because i don't want to hold him back in life and in uni however i can't believe oh sorry i just made that up however i can't help feeling so down about him going away for so long to places i can't realistically pack a bag and go visit him anyways i was thinking about when you were going on the cruise and how you would have felt if jake held you back and how you felt long distance for a period of time would have went like six months
Starting point is 00:48:35 can i hold him back from benefit benefiting his future for my own selfishness and paranoia so i don't think you can hold him back because he will resent you for it um and that is not a weight we anyone wants on their shoulders I think this is a moment where you have to be self selfless is that the word yeah selfless and go do you know what this is his life yeah we we're together but this is what he is passionate about and what he wants to do and where he wants to go and if I hold him back he's he's gonna resent me for it and you're you're always gonna deep down feel guilt and always feel like oh he's only here because I made him do you know what I mean um yeah it's a difficult one I think um it sounds to me like it's something he wants so bad which for me makes me feel like you have to let him like you have to let him go if it was Jake you know I'd say to him like I don't think
Starting point is 00:49:46 our relationship will survive to be honest but I will never hold you back and I'd say well what can we do to make it survive what can we do to make sure that this doesn't break us do you know what I'm saying and I don't know it's a horrible one it stresses me out I hate that that you know like relationships have to suffer from things like this but they do like to be brutally honest they do don't they if your boyfriend's going traveling of course that's going to impact your relationship oh my god massively um what does he say like I'm sure you've said to him like babe I'm not gonna see you for months like what the fuck and maybe he's just like well we'll be fine we'll be fine because deep down he's just buzzing he's just absolutely buzzing to go maybe he's not really thinking about
Starting point is 00:50:39 how it might realistically end the relationship um not end the relationship affect the relationship I just read a text from somebody who's texting about something called end game um something called end game or something yeah it would affect your relationship not necessarily end it please signal what I just said um yeah i'm really stressed out for you i know you must feel so upset and anxious about it but do you know what babe your life is all about you and his love's about him he wants to go traveling and that's that's amazing he's he's following his dreams he's doing what he's always wanted to do as he should but now you need to now you need to do what you've always wanted to do and you need to focus on you because your your life
Starting point is 00:51:29 is all about you and you need to make sure that you're happy um and you know your happiness doesn't just come from your boyfriend like like do not get absorbed in it like you you can be so happy still I know you can it's gonna be so hard if he does go but you will survive this like if you are um like I said meant to be you will survive this like um but he's living life for himself and you should be proud of him for doing that at this age because this is the age that you're gonna he's gonna do that and he should be doing that and you know hopefully he comes back you start a family together you can tell your kids about how you survived your relationship survived when he went traveling and it was really difficult but you love each other so much and you spoke every single day and you went out to visit him and you can be the success
Starting point is 00:52:17 story that all of us want to hear because there are so many success stories about couples that go traveling but your relationship will inevitably take a hit it may not necessarily be the end like it will take a hit of course because you're not going to see each other for ages but that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to love each other any less like think about people that are like the the army and stuff like they go away for so long at a time but they come back they love their girlfriend so much like their relationships are so strong and this could just make you so strong like this could just make you so much stronger than you ever imagined like let's just try and
Starting point is 00:52:56 be positive um but yeah it will be difficult but you are so strong and and I'll get you through it if you need help if you need a friend I'll pull you through it um and you're amazing you're amazing your life is so much more than just this relationship as well like please do not let it consume you so much all right I love you so much oh okay we've hit the hour mark. Well done, everybody. How was it? Did you enjoy it? I'm actually shattered. Oh, God, I've got a long night ahead of me.
Starting point is 00:53:33 I need to get this uploaded. It's currently Monday, the 7th of March, 9 p.m. And this has to go up in three hours. So, wait, 9, 10, 11, 12. Yeah, three hours. So wait, nine, 10, 11, 12. Yeah, three hours. So wish me luck for that. What are you guys doing this week? What am I doing this week?
Starting point is 00:53:50 I'm getting my lips done again on Wednesday, which I'm so excited about. Not here to promote cosmetic procedures, but you guys know I get my lips done and they need redoing. They're all little tinies. So I'm gonna get them done. I'm gonna do a TikTok vlog.
Starting point is 00:54:04 So watch out for that. I'm also live on TikTok all the time so if you're not following me on TikTok you definitely should be um the Lear on the Line account as well as my personal account um yeah I hope you guys enjoyed this week's episode I do have some guests lined up we haven't got a scheduled date but um i've got jasmine and sophie coming on at some point for sure love them talia mar i'm hoping to get you on she is like my biggest girl crush and biggest fucking legend out there so i would love to get her on and she's keen so hopefully we can do that um you guys really want Imogen Nation on which would be amazing um I've really she's really just grown on me recently like I've never understood Imogen like I was always just like I don't understand her like I never
Starting point is 00:54:57 really I never watched her YouTube properly so I never really like understood her fully and recently just on TikTok I think since she's had this baby I feel like she's really just like found who she is as a woman and I've just really enjoyed watching it and I just feel like I understand her a lot more and I don't know she just seems really happy and content and feels like she just knows who she is now and I like I like to see it so she's someone I think would be really cool to get on um who else would be fun I'm trying to think um send me a message who you'd like to get on and actually dm these people saying hey you should go on uh Leah's podcast Leah on the line and uh let's make it happen so love you guys
Starting point is 00:55:38 so much hope you guys have the best week I will hopefully be here on Friday. I don't know, to be honest. I don't know about Friday because I'm working a lot this week. And I need to pre-film next Tuesday's episode, probably tomorrow. So I don't know if I'll actually be able to do Friday's episode. Okay, let's put it this way. A bonus is unlikely this week. But if you do, it will be a nice little surprise as always make sure you're leaving a little five star rating for me make sure you are um following make sure click on spotify now if you're on spotify click on leah on the line is the bell green i hope it is can you get notifications on apple oh yeah i think you can because i have them on my own phone i always get notified i don't know how i turn that on so if you're on apple podcast and make sure you're Can you get notifications on Apple? Oh yeah, I think you can because I have them on my own phone. I always get notified.
Starting point is 00:56:25 I don't know how I turn that on. So if you're on Apple Podcasts, make sure you're following or subscribed, whichever it's technically called. Leave a five star rating. I've actually had a three star and a four star. So I would take the four star, but three star, bit rude.
Starting point is 00:56:41 No, I'm kidding. I'm happy with the three stars. Fine, it's fair. I've rated some podcasts three stars before i want to undo it now though because now i actually know how much it helps to get five star reviews but um the following is the main thing that's what helps us boost up in the charts because i really i just want this podcast to be something i'm really proud of and it definitely is i'm so so so proud of it it's so much bigger and better than i ever thought it
Starting point is 00:57:03 would be but i just want this to be a massive part of my life and i feel like the bigger we can build our friendship group the more i can do it and the more it can just be a massive part of my life um like i said i'm not monetizing this so this when i say all of this it's not about money i would love to fucking monetize it i would love somebody pick up this podcast and sponsor me because I don't want to work in a bar anymore I've done I've done three shifts and I'm already over it um but yeah love you so much every single one of you that listens I should say I appreciate you and love you so much you literally mean everything to me I can't tell you how much it means when you
Starting point is 00:57:39 send me a message just saying that you're enjoying the podcast if I don't reply to you I still read it and I still get a lump in my throat and have tears in my eyes but I do reply to most of you but sometimes I read them when I'm at work and stuff or if it's just like in the middle of the night and I can't sleep and then I check my dms I don't want to reply to you at like one or two in the morning because I don't want to wake you up if your phone goes off do you know what I mean so yeah I appreciate all your messages and just listening to me like I just really appreciate you listening i really it just means a lot you mean a lot you are amazing and i love you so much all right guys i will see you on friday or next week for a new episode um i love you guys so much can't wait to
Starting point is 00:58:20 get nice big juicy lips again um head over to tiktok and instagram to see them all right i love you so much see you guys next week for a new episode i love you bye hi it's fido start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your We'll see a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.

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