Leah on the Line - 85: Do I choose the nice guy? & I found someone else's hair bobble!!

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Tuesday, everybody. How are you? How's everybody feeling today? How was your weekend? How was it? I obviously just got back from Centre Parcs. I had a lovely weekend and guys, guess what? I didn't get my period. I know. Honestly, I just want to say shout out universe because everything has truly aligned for the best. I just went for a wee about half an hour ago right and TMI TMI if you don't like period talk skip about two minutes maybe five knowing me um just went for a wee wiped a little bit pink a little bit pink I thought here she is here she is and perfect timing she's over a week late now obviously I have polycystic ovaries so it's pretty normal for me but I have been regular for

like the last three months so I was due on the 15th and I was late I was late I was late I was like fuck I'm going to centre parks on the 22nd like, fuck, I'm going to Centre Parcs on the 22nd, and not only that, I'm going to Tenerife on the 15th of next month, so if I get it any day now, it means I'm probably gonna get it on my fucking holiday again, again, and my periods just seem to be getting worse and worse at the moment, touch wood, I'll let you know on Friday how this one is, touch wood, we're gonna have a lovely month of it and the next month after that and so forth you know but anyway yeah i was petrified that i was gonna come on and senate parks i've started to get a little bit of blood on the day i've come home which also means it's looking good for tenerife guys it's also it's looking good for me right now so fingers crossed

everyone put it out there to the universe that it's gonna be so kind to me and I'm not gonna get my period on holiday and both the next two months at least aren't gonna be that painful you know and I'm not gonna get the big belly this month big swollen hard stomach because I've got an event on Thursday and I'm wearing a very tight dress I think I've got an outfit idea but I always end up changing my outfit last minute because I just can't but if I wear what I think I want to wear I want to feel good I want to feel confident I want to feel snatched you know and my period stomach is actually not a joke, oh my god, guys, I can tell you now, I can tell you, guys, my twin brother and his partner are having a baby, having a baby, yeah, I've been dying to tell you, I've been dying to tell you, I had to wait, I had to wait for them

to put the news out, you know, the news is out, I'm gonna be an auntie again I mean I'm still an auntie you know but oh I just can't wait it does mean I'm officially the last of my mum and dad's children to have a baby which is fine because I'm not technically the youngest my brother is technically 10 minutes younger than me but it's fine you know everyone does life in their own pace at their own time but yeah honestly guys I'm just so excited and so happy we've got the gender reveal next month I'm thrilled I'm honestly thrilled I love being an auntie it's the best thing in the whole world they just bring me so much joy like I love my family is

everything to me but especially the kids in my family they make me feel so lucky and so happy and I just love them I just want to scrunch them all I'm so I love you and I get to cuddle baby again oh it's been years since they were babies I can't wait I just can't believe my brother is gonna be a dad it's crazy it's crazy and like yeah it's just it's gonna be insane i'm so excited i'm honestly so excited i can't wait to do like i just can't wait for all the baby bits you know the baby grows the little baby socks the little baby sleep suits the cuddles i can't wait to change a nappy to be honest but I can't wait to talk to you guys all about it the beautiful baby so yeah I'm so excited guys honestly I'm over the moon and I have been dying to talk to you guys about it oh I'm so glad I can get excited

about it now so yeah I had a really good weekend I went to Centre Parcs let me tell you though so I've been to Centre Parcs before but I can't remember the one I went to Centre Parcs let me tell you though so I've been to Centre Parcs before I can't remember the one I went to but this time we went to the Longleat one and it's fucking huge too big in fact there's just no need right we went we stayed our cabin couldn't have been further out even when we picked up the keys the woman lovely woman she was like god bless your hearts you've got a bit of a trek every day and we got bikes because that's part of the experience i love that part i love cycling around center parks but oh my god we went the wrong way on the first time on the first night we didn't take the cycle route because it was pitch

black so we couldn't see any of the signs right could do with some better signs center parks some better lighting would be ideal just saying anyway so we didn't know where we was fucking going we end up on the road where it's like no absolutely no bikes and we're like oh why can't there be no bikes it's not it's late there's no there's not really any cars we'll be all right we found out the next day the hill we went up guys i was literally was literally vomiting, like, it was, it was hard work, I was literally like, I can't do this, I couldn't do it, it was such hard work, found out the next day, that hill, it's called Cardiac Hill, it's called Cardiac fucking Hill, and I get it now, I was like, I can't do this every day, I'm not leaving the fucking cabin,

if we have to do this every day, I'm not doing it. And then we did manage to find the cycle paths and the cycle routes, but it's still bad. It's still bad. So if you are going to go too long late, try and get a cabin closer. But oh my God, they costed a bomb. I had a little look. I thought, I mean, I'd rather cycle to be honest. I was like, whoa. But anyway, yeah, I had the best time. It was actually so fun there. Like, everyone that works there is so lush. Like, it was just so nice. We did an escape room, which was so fun.

Again, extortionate prices. Yeah, what's the standard for an escape room? 25 quid? I want to say this cost us about 50 quid each, maybe even more. It was extortionate. It was pretty crazy. But maybe it wasn't that much no it was a lot i remember my jaw dropping to the floor but we still did it anyway because i

literally love an escape room i'm such a sucker for one i just love it i feel like such a smart legend when i do them when i can get a clue or get past a certain stage or figure something out nothing makes me feel more of a legend i'm like guys i fucking got it i know i know what this means i'm just there's nothing there's no better feeling is there anyway and it was like i'm not too sure about the storyline storyline was kind of random but basically was obviously locked in a room i'm not going to tell i'm not going to give you any clues or like spoilers by the way so you can it's safe to listen but yeah and then you have to like get keys basically there's four keys padlocked by the way so you can it's safe to listen but yeah and then you have to like get keys basically there's four keys padlocked to the door and you have to find keys but there's

loads of locks everywhere and it's really fun like it was so fun and yeah I felt really I felt really smart I can't lie anyway what else did we do we did a bit of archery do you know what pisses me off right I try so hard I try so hard at everything I try really hard at bowling I try really hard at archery I try really hard at mini golf and I always come last I'm shit at everything I'm honestly shit at everything it's not even a joke and I'm trying so hard it's infuriating I thought i was actually smashing out the archery right i actually thought i was killing it the guy reads out the fucking first to last place and he goes i'm feeling really confident at this point because i've got some pretty good scores

yeah every time we got three arrows each right and at least one of mine did completely miss the target but the two that didn't were pretty good scorers they were pretty near the middle so i felt like i was pretty good at it right he's like okay guys are you ready to hear the scores i was like here we fucking go finally something i've actually done really well at but she done really well i was like really confident like i was actually like quite cocky the whole time and he goes in last place we have leah everyone's clapping i thought no no no no no save the pity claps i demand a recount honestly i was like you what i wasn't even what i was like what no no i don't think so i don't think so i suggest you have another look at that piece of paper if you know what's good for you honestly i was fuming and my dad was actually shit at it bearing in mind my dad's good at

everything right he's great at everything you can't beat him anything pull darts anything he's just good at it archery he had an absolute howler he was terrible but i fucking came i did worse than him i said no no no no no no i don't think you got that right i don't think you got that right mate turns out he did get that right but the worst thing he went in last place we have leah everyone's in oh well done and i'm like in first place yeah my brother my brother i said and then and then he went okay guys well done say i said hold on a minute you're not just gonna read out last and first okay okay kk no i want to hear the scores i want to hear the numbers i want to hear who i was close to anyway i was like 10 points behind second from last still not pleased with

that not pleased at all but anyway i was like excuse me honey I'm gonna need the whole list please no I literally said to him hey come on you're not gonna do that to me surely last place and first place everyone celebrates first place and I get you actually want to humiliate me why couldn't we have just done first place I didn't need to know that but anyway it was funny and golf right people would get like two in one three in one at a max because it was kind of like a you know longleat's a hilly place it was it was a wobbly ground me eight in one mate i thought this is a joke i'll be going back and forth over the same hole over and over i'll be two centimeters away from the hole tap it give a little tap rolls fucking over it go around the other side tap rolls fucking over it i was like

this is pissing me off why am i bad at everything it annoys me and you know what annoys me my dad will go just think about it don't rush just think about it and i said dad i don't think you understand i am and also what i don't know what i'm supposed to do differently. I stand there and I stare at it because he tells me to take my time. So I just stare at the ball for a minute. I don't know what I'm supposed to think. What's the technique? He told me to line the club up to the hole. I said, I already thought I was doing that. That was what I started there hun but anyway same with bowling and the thing is I will say I will say we did it in couples right and my brother's girlfriend and my dad's wife they had the barriers up and I don't because I like to play fair and square that's all I'm saying so maybe if

I had the barriers up probably wouldn't come last that's all I'm saying you know just putting that out there just putting it out there so yeah honestly I'm just bad at everything and do you know what it's really annoying being bad at things in it if anyone can relate it's actually really annoying being bad at things when when you're really trying to be good at something and you think you're doing well and then the guy the archery guy goes in last place leah relax okay relax with the clapping okay but apparently he he was like he represents great britain i thought fair play because i was going what does he even know about archery hey oh fair play yeah she represents great britain fair enough but yeah oh it was good it was good

fun guys I do recommend it but yeah take my advice get a bit closer to the plaza if you can the pool is sick oh yeah yeah I got some news I went on the rapids and I went under the water a couple of times yeah so the rapids are sick. I love a rapid. I love them. Like they're just sick, right? Wild water rapids. Brother's girlfriend's obviously pregnant, so she didn't do it.

So it was just me, my brother, Jamie, and my dad going down these rapids. And I guess because I'm quite light, I would just get fucking flown past all of the boys. And I was just getting launched under the water and then after a while I thought I'm actually feeling a bit brave so I was like flinging myself down it and I would just hold my nose and hold my breath once I saw that I was about to go under and I've realized if I know when I get to the bottom I can just stand up now now at this big age i've learned i actually don't mind it yeah i'm gonna go out there and say it would i go bombing it down a water slide uh no no i wouldn't maybe when i go to tenerife when i go to the water park i might just fucking go for

it do you know what send me down the big shooter. Who dares me? No, I wouldn't do it for a million quid. Would I do that for a million pounds? Be silly not to, really. Come on, like, you're not going to die. I mean, has anyone ever died? To be i'm not sure it'd be silly not to do it like it's about 60 seconds of absolute fear for a million quid you know what we did do every evening was play like brain games and i've realized i love a brain game so we played this game about like going for a glass door and it's really fun highly recommend right and you somebody would come up with a rule in their head of things that are allowed through and things that aren't so the rule

the original rule was the word has to have a double letter in it so my brother started it and he'll go i'm going through the glass door and i'm gonna don't know why it's a glass door and i'm gonna take a ladder right and we're like okay and the next person goes i'm going to take a ladder, right? And we're like, okay. And the next person goes, I'm going through the glass door and I'm going to take a fan. And he'll go, no, that won't get through. It'd be ridiculous, right? And everyone's going, what?

Next one, I'm going through the glass door and I'm going to take a pool table. And he'll go, yeah, that'll do it. That'll do it. And I think, what? And then I'll go, that'll do it that'll do it and i think what and then i'll go right i'm going through the glass door and i'm going to take a pillow and he'll go yeah that'll go through and i'm thinking ah i get it and then slowly one at a time people going i know what it is i get it and then there's always that one person it's typically me sharp going what the fuck what the fuck how does everyone get it apart from me and it that one person it's typically me sharp going what the fuck what

the fuck how does everyone get it apart from me and it's so annoying when you don't get it but i tell you what it feels amazing when you get it it feels so good when you get it so yeah we played games like that and then we played like countdown and listen i've said a few times maths is not my forte it's really not it's really not one of my strong points. And I am actually kind of legendary at maths these days. Me and Jamie lay in bed at night and he teaches me maths. No joke. Like, this is genuinely what we do. And I said to him the other day, I thought,

God, you actually do get better when you study something, innit? Do you know what I mean? Oh, why did I talk like that then? So anyway, I've been practicing my math, so I said, yeah, give me a bit of countdown, give me a bit of countdown, I was actually really impressing people, even my dad was like, fucking Ali, go on, that's pretty impressive, and then we do the words, and I'd come up with a good six letter, seven letter, no, I don't actually think I did get a seven letter, to be fair, but but yeah we played games like that and I really enjoy those games maybe I'm like a bit of a brainiac you know maybe I just love brain

training there's something like fun about brain training to me I find it fun it just feels really good when you do well do you know what I mean I guess because I'm not like good at physical sports and stuff like those kind of games like bowling and mini golf and archery all that bollocks I'm like give me some letters I'll make a big word you know oh anyway yeah I had so much fun guys but I have missed you and I'm thrilled to be back I do need to pre-film um two episodes ahead of my Tenerife holiday so what I'm going to say to you is please, if you have a moment, send me a message with any Friday episodes ideas. You can even come up with a few if you had any time or if you even had any ideas, like it would literally mean so much to me

if you sent me some ideas because that way I can pre-film quite a few of them or at least get quite a few in the plans in the works you know so that they're really good ones so yeah anything you guys want let me know and i will get on it babes but yeah long intro today but i felt like we had a big catch-up to um to get out the way first you know all right it's a normal tuesday today weekly debate incoming dilemmas incoming so yeah love you guys thank you so much for tuning in today thank you for being in my company i absolutely love and appreciate you more than you could ever imagine and thank you for wait what did i say thanks for being in my company either way thanks

for being in my company and thank you for having me in yours and let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leah on the line.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates enjoy the episode love you okay everybody let's get straight into the weekly debate today. So I have obviously my question, the weekly debate, usual question. And then I have some follow-up questions that are related to this question. This was sent in from one of you guys. So shout out to you, babe. Okay. My question for you this week is, when is it too soon for someone to say, I love you? Okay. So let's have a little look what you guys think okay scrolling scrolling scrolling

any time before a month yeah okay i'm with you someone says i feel it's different for everyone absolutely agree yeah defo defo less than two months seems too soon anything before three months anything before five months you don't know the person before. So this kind of backs up my theory of the six months situation of like, somebody will not show you that somebody will show you the best, best, best, flawless. I don't know, whatever, flawless self for six months straight. I truly believe someone can do that for six months and then the cracks start to show. So yeah, it's just a theory.

But yeah, that backs it up. When you still don't understand the real meaning of those words, the first day. This girl's like, first day, whoa. Second day, absolutely. Yeah, bring it on on i think it's best to say it when you feel it timing is individual yeah i do agree i do agree i had a boy say i love you straight after asking me to be his girlfriend dot dot dot wow double bomb hey will you be my

girlfriend i love you who's watching married at first? Because a guy said it in his vows. In Married at First Sight? At First Sight. And he was like, oh yeah, let's spend this time getting to know each other. I will commit myself to you. I love you. Four. Fucking hell.

Yeah, there you go. Anyway, turns out you got them off Google. Who's watching it though? Let me know. I think there's been like five, six episodes so far. And that was the first one. It's really good so far i'm really enjoying it okay i feel there's no time stamp just when it feels right within a month before one month it has to be when you're officially together otherwise giving me red flags that he gets attached easy so true like how many people have heard that do you know what i mean at least a

couple of months it depends how much time you spent with them i think that is true oh my god listen somebody said did you see on maps where the guy said it in his bowels when he only just met her ick yeah babe so oh my god i got told i love you after the second date oh my god I think within the first month is too soon red flag too intense love bomb yeah it's always the red flag it could be the love bomb you know but then it could be love you don't know I'm sure there are millions of couples that have said it to what a lot of people would consider to be too soon and spent their whole lives together you know my ex told me he loved me more than he loved his own mum after a month what the fuck jesus christ darling okay you need at least four months to properly know your feelings

for someone i've been loved one before he said i love you then like two weeks later he said he didn't oh love that thanks a lot never too soon when you know you know yeah yeah at the altar on maths hope you've seen it oh my god you guys know me too well when you don't actually feel it or for some reason you know it could make them feel uncomfortable during the first conversation she's like first conversation that's weird second conversation though okay someone i work with asked me on a date and i said no because because strict oh because strict don't shit where i eat rule he then went crazy saying i make him uncomfortable and told me he loved me

we'd only had one shift together oh my goodness wow okay no time frame situations where you feel like it is inappropriate to do so or feels ingenuine yeah okay gotcha gotcha oh okay if you feel it say it I've told three people i love them in my life and meant every time life is far too short to worry about saying how you feel especially something like this you know what i totally agree that is true too i don't think there is such thing as too soon i genuinely think when you know you know um two weeks right okay My next question is what is the soonest you have told someone that you love them? Okay. So I want to know how quick have you said it? You guys, you besties. Okay. Two months. Okay. After two weeks of dating, after three weeks of dating, although after our first

date, he never left and it's been four years you see you see somebody else would have gone oh my god she told him she loves him after three weeks four years later look at us now you know after two months in my relationship a month two months six months in six months a month after being official right got you the first night we met while we was having sex i was very drunk and do not remember no not the sex not the sex i love you oh god could you imagine after two weeks one month in the relationship but we never did the talking stage and nearly four years together yeah you see there you go guys oh one month after meeting each other five years later we're expecting our first baby oh my god i love it um like two weeks but still going strong three three years late oh

yeah you know what who cares exactly so true three months with my current boyfriend of four years and now a house and a baby oh i just love this. Okay, so the next question, very similar. What is the soonest someone has told you that they love you? Right, let's have a look. A week, a week and I did not say it back. Three days. Met a guy on Tinder. He told me after three weeks of chatting that he loved me big fat red flag right after we were official it scared me off and i couldn't say it back yet still my boyfriend though okay we love that two weeks but we've been together for four years he's a gem wow two weeks 14 days 14 days is wild but look at you four years you know what so exactly you know what

um my current boyfriend he said it before we became official and tried to play it off that he didn't but he admitted later that night he did say i love you i said it back the following day oh god he left him hanging um two weeks two months and even then i was taken back a little but also felt like a boss ass bitch for having that impact yeah well you know my boyfriend took eight months into our actual relationship been together four years now wow eight months i guess you know what it's only long now in our I think in our generation of dating whereas like that kind of just makes sense and you know it probably does take eight months to be fully in love like you are like my life my family my partner my future you know

um one month I didn't say it back as it was way too soon for me. He's now my boyfriend of six years. A lot of success stories here, guys, with the early love. I wouldn't say love bomb, but it's not technically a love bomb. But you know what I mean. Three weeks, two weeks, a few days, one week, two weeks after four days. Wow. 72 hours, I know that's three days, 96 hours, you've known me 96 hours, 96 hours and you love me, how wild is that, you know, wildsers, my now husband said it after three weeks and I wasn't ready and waited until three months the time was right for me I don't think people should feel pressured to say it we are now married and have been together for seven years oh I just love that about six weeks which concerned me but we are two

years going strong now oh a month in but admits now he didn't mean it just said it because he thought he needed to ew gross get away from me with that okay my next question bit of honesty in the room guys I put up a poll and I said have you ever told someone you love them and not meant it not including the times you thought you did I'm talking you knew you didn't and you said it anyway so not in terms of like you know I feel like a lot of people can say I told them I love them but I thought I did at the time but looking back that wasn't love I'm not talking that I'm talking you've said to someone I love you knowing as you've said it do i fuck i want to know right the answers for the poll are yeah i felt awkward not saying it back yeah babe toxic what can i say or no chance right we have

45 going no chance right this is good this is good more than half we're not we're not lying we're not lying to somebody with the I love you 40 percent yeah I felt awkward not saying it back and 14 percent have said yeah babe toxic what can I say and you know what I I'm going to be honest with you guys. And I have done it. I've said it and not meant it. Did I know I didn't at the time? Yeah. Yeah, I did. But you know why? I'll tell you why. Because he said it and all. And I thought, do you fuck? fuck no you don't and I and I felt like it was like this weird pretend like silly romance thing that we were doing and it was all a bit of a it was all a bit of um fun and infatuation and I thought we were kind of on the same page i'm not sure if i'm not sure if if we were it didn't end up going anywhere it you know it was never really that deep but yeah yeah i have

done it guys i'm listen i'm not gonna lie i'm an honest girl everybody makes mistakes everybody has those days and yeah i was younger young wild and free oh you know young dumber and full of fun i have done it what is the earliest i've told someone i love them i'm not sure i honestly don't know the answer to that the earliest somebody has told me they love me is I want to say about three weeks yeah yeah I'll go with that so yeah have oh I should have also asked like do you ever tell someone you love them first like I feel like is it a common thing across girls where we don't want to be the first to say it or are there a lot of girlies out there that will say it first because in my personal experience not fucking hope in hell am I saying it first not a hope in hell I might have actually. No, I don't think so. I don't think I have. Yeah. So you know what? That should have been a question on the poll, but it's too late now. So yeah, I guess more of the

story is there is no real too soon because there's obviously been a ton of occasions where looking at it, it sounds too soon, but you've been married a night, you're seven years strong. So what is too soon really, you know? So yeah, love that. That's so interesting, guys. Thank you so much for sending in all your responses, telling me all your stories. I love you. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for always getting involved let's get into some dilemmas okay everybody I've been chatting a lot today so I'm not gonna be more annoying and babble for too long so I'm gonna dive straight in to these dilemmas let's kick off with this one it says hi Leah I hope you're okay thank you that's so nice I love you i've been absolutely

loving the podcast lately so i thought it was time i wrote in with my own dilemma thank you so much for your support i love you sorry if this turns out to be a long one no i love the long ones honestly truly okay let's go i've been speaking to a guy for a few months now to avoid confusion let's call him dan at first dan and i were just friends but as they do one thing led to another and we slept together we then continued to see each other until he wanted to make things official between us and i friend zoned him yatch okay fair enough as you said you know not feeling it you can to say what you feel we still continue to see each other regularly on a friendship level oh is it really a friendship though if you know deep down

his intentions he doesn't want to be a friend he does not want to be your friend you know he wants more from you but anyway carrying on even though i knew he wanted more. I began dating other guys. Oh, Dan did not like that. Nothing serious, just casual dating and situationships, which Dan was always aware of. And although it was hard for him, continued to support me and was always a shoulder to cry on when a guy fucked me around. Do you know what? And do you know why? Because he fucking loved it. Do you know what? This is why i always say you can't be friends with someone who has feelings for you because when you're coming to them and you're like he's fucked me over again blah blah he's like come here come here babe come here i'm here for you

he wants you to fall in love with them you know it's not just about oh i'm so sorry you're going through this come here let's you know let's cheer you up he's thinking this is my opportunity you know maybe he's not i am jumping to conclusions there but this is my perspective myself and dan's friendship slowly began to develop into something more like we've been a couple oh no sorry like we had been a couple months back right gotcha and i'm really enjoying spending time with him and where it's going we see each other most nights i've been saying over his at wait saying over at his a lot it's just been going in the right direction the best way i can describe dan is that he's so genuine he's so caring he literally makes me feel

like the only girl in the world constantly making me laugh smile always picking me up when I down when I'm down I trust him so much have shared so much personal stuff with him that I've never told anyone else when I say this guy is different I seriously mean he is different. He's one of the good ones, you know. My only issue is I'm just not attracted to him physically. Okay, looks isn't everything. I know that. But what do you do if you're literally not attracted to the way they look, even though everything else about him is pretty damn perfect? I actually think we did a weekly debate on this once about like, could you look past being unattracted to somebody if their personality was just 100 out of 10 now this is where things sorry guys this is where things

get even more complicated a few weeks ago i met another guy let's call him callum callum was on holiday down where i live visiting family and we happened to bump into one another we spent a lot of time together that evening he asked for my snapchat and I even spent the night with him for my own dignity it was pg just lots of cuddling and maybe the odd kiss Callum left for home the next day which is unfortunately four hours drive from where I live we've been texting continuously ever since we've even had a couple of FaceTime calls and we are getting really close. He's actually driving back to see me this weekend, 23rd of September. Oh, okay. Weekend just gone and wants to see where this can go.

We've discussed the distance and as we both drive, we've agreed it's possible and we are willing to make things work if we were to make things official and give a relationship a go. I'm so excited to see Callum and I'm very, very attracted to him but I don't want to let Dan down, upset him or even worse completely lose him and the friendship we have. I know Dan is crazy about me and I feel like I'll always have a soft spot for him. I know it will destroy me if I lose him but worried that I can't stay loyal to Callum if I'm around Dan I think bottom line is I've got to choose and honestly I cannot decide this weekend will be the second time I've seen Callum in person so I'm thinking of just seeing how the weekend goes and going from there any advice would be massively appreciated and again I'm so sorry it's been a long one Looking forward to hearing from you on the pod. Oh, girly pup. This is tough because we actually hear a lot where people say,

you know, going for the nice guy doesn't always end up great. Okay. I will say the nice guys are absolute diamonds gems to us all however being a nice person doesn't always make you the perfect partner okay so just because somebody is really really nice doesn't mean you're supposed to fall in love with them you know you can just be friends with someone because they're just so nice you have the best time together they support you and everything you're describing is a friend you know we have a laugh together he's he's really kind he looks out for me he's there for me and I'm not attracted to him you have perfectly described an ideal friendship the only detail here is that Dan is in love with you slash has very strong feelings for you which makes it difficult to have a platonic friendship so I would say, I would say that is, I think personally, it's hard to have a friendship

where somebody likes somebody in that friendship and it's not reciprocated because you might feel like he's such a great friend. You know, he's always there for me when I need him. He's always there when I need his shoulder to cry on. And to you, he's just being a really good friend but this is just potentially potentially his intentions might not be to make you feel better and to make sure that you're okay they could be he feels you know I love that she wants my support because I want her to want to be with me and I love that she turns to me because it makes me feel validated because I have feelings for this person, you know?

It's different. When you have feelings for someone, it is different. Everything is different. Your low-key intentions are different. Whether, you know, that doesn't make, it's not a bad thing. It's definitely not a bad thing. It doesn't make him a bad guy.

He's obviously a really, really, really good, really good nice guy right so him having feelings for you and his underlying intentions maybe not being so friendly and platonic isn't a bad thing it's not a bad way to feel because it's unintentional it's just natural when you have feelings with someone it just makes it complicates the friendship so I would honestly say yeah I agree you should see Callum this weekend obviously it's gone now so I wish I could have um reached out to you and asked you how the weekend went because that probably would have helped us both now moving forward so maybe sending an update that might help us both we can chat about this again and yeah I would say enjoy your weekend with Callum which obviously is already already done and think about how you feel now like tune

into yourself and your feelings and what are the reasons you want to keep Dan there as a potential is it validation is it because you don't want to hurt him is it because you genuinely see something there with him is it because you know when when a guy knocks your confidence and rejects you dan picks up those pieces and validates you makes you feel good about yourself again again that's not a bad thing i've definitely been in that position you know where you go back to someone who just continuously makes you feel good about yourself and it's nice to have that when someone's fucking you over you know it's nice to go oh my god i've just been ghosted this feels shit and then you've got a guy here who

thinks you're the fucking best thing in the world why would you not want to go to that you know so i would ask yourself what are the reasons that you you value your friendship with dan so much are they purely because he is such a good friend to you are it does it come down to validation does it come down to you know it just feels good because let's be honest and again this isn't a bad thing it feels nice when someone fancies you it just does and that's all right you know that's okay and I would think about your answer and then help that weigh up your decision um what your intentions are with Dan and Callum and where if you could write your ideal situation what would that look like and why

so if your ideal situation was I'm in a relationship with Callum and I'm still best friends of Dan write down why that is important to you why being why you want to be of Callum why your friendship with Dan is important to you you know and just think tune into your feelings and why you want the things you want and why you might feel the way you feel um I personally again I'm not involved so it's actually really hard for me to say but this is an opinion i personally don't think you want to be with dan um because i'll be honest i think attraction is big and i feel like it it can grow and we did this in the weekly debate and a lot of you guys said that like you didn't initially fancy your partner at first and it just grows you know you find someone more attractive once you get to know the personality but you know Dan's personality you've already had sex with him and if you still now aren't attracted to him I

don't know if it will come so yeah I don't personally think you want to be in a relationship with Dan I think you want a friendship with Dan and also you have that little bit more with Dan which is nice when you feel rejected you feel lonely whatever it's nice to have that from somebody who cares about you and thinks you're incredible it's nice and again that's not a bad way to feel that's completely human of you if that is the case but yeah so yeah I that's my advice and my opinion. So wait up and let me know. Update us how your weekend went. Maybe after this weekend, you were like,

do you know what? The whole time I was with Cameron, I was thinking about Dan. I think I want to be with Dan. You know, you don't know. So let us know and we'll go from there. So yeah, love you, babes. Hope you had an amazing weekend.

All right, next dilemma. This is an interesting one guys he's moving out but wants to stay together okay hey leah thank you so much for this podcast never had the courage to write in but here i am oh i'm here babes i got you let's do it my boyfriend and i have been together for almost four years due to covid we moved in together after three months after we started dating during this time we had some ups and downs the last year however has been extremely difficult because he works a lot full-time job and on top of this his side hustle in the evening and weekends we both work a lot from home so we

basically see each other 24 7 but rarely spend quality time together yeah i always say there is a difference between being around someone and spending time with someone right and he is always stressed because of this we argued a lot and eventually split up and he moved out. Okay, shit. So it was game over. Okay. But after two weeks of breaking up, we decided to stay together but have our own apartments. Okay, interesting.

Our plan is to meet up once a week and spend some nice time together without work. Okay, that's nice that's nice my question is is this a good idea or are we just scared to admit that it's over my love language is quality time so seeing him only once a week might not be enough for me thank you so much love you bye love you okay this is difficult and you're in a situation now where you just got to be brave. It's really difficult. So let's weigh up the possible outcomes, right? Could be a situation where you've seen each other once a week

and it's a case of we're clutching at straws here. We're desperately trying to deny that this isn't working anymore. And, you know, we're seeing each other less and less we've soft launched the breakup and you know I've actually gotten used to being on my own now because I only see you once a week and I think I'm ready to walk away or it could be a situation where this is everything you need you know you could see each other once a week and that time could feel special again. You could look forward to each other again, miss each other again. The stress that he's feeling about work, about whatever it is,

he will be able to leave that at home when he steps out the house to come and meet up with you and go out and go on a date and spend a special quality time together with someone that he truly loves because he does love you and you love him and it could repair the damage that this year has done to your relationship and it might feel like you're going backwards by moving out and going back to seeing each other once a week i've seen each other 24 7 but could be everything you need and you know what it could be one of the two right and either way i don't think you have much to lose by just giving it a go you know he's moved out you have your own place you're not spending 24 7 together and that environment was not good for either of you you were unhappy in it you were arguing all the time he was stressing all the time

so you hopefully will start to feel lighter get used to the the feeling of looking forward to seeing each other missing each other planning dates you know getting that that special quality time back together and it could be everything you need so that next year it's like we've repaired the damage we've repaired the things that that you know last year did to our relationship and to our character and to how we spoke to each other how we treated each other you know i miss you I love you I want to be with you and it's everything we need going on this little not a break but having having a breather was the best thing we ever did for our relationship you know it could be that situation and you know what if it isn't that you are in a position where you will be stronger than if it was like right bang we're

breaking up i'm moving out see you never you know you have an opportunity now to build up your independence make sure that you're spending your time alone wisely whether it be that you're having your self-care days your bestie days hanging out with some family your mom your sister whoever it is that's around you you know spending time with with other people that isn't your partner so that your partner is just part of your life and not your whole entire being you know and that's good for you and if if then if it didn't work and it is a case of like look I was really hoping this would save our relationship but we're losing touch or we're losing feelings or whatever it is where you might end up breaking up you you're not going to be in for such a shock of

holy fuck my whole life turned upside down because it will then be a case of, well, I've only seen you once a week for the last seven months anyway, you know, and then obviously, you still have to deal with the grievance of a relationship and a person. But your everyday life won't be so traumatically different, you know, compared to if you just did that, right, he's, we've lived together, we've broke up, he's moved out, I'm never gonna see him again. So I would say try it, I would say go for for it because at the end of the day it could save your relationship and even if it doesn't it's still good for you to have that to build up your independence and and that you know capability of of being alone and still being happy you know yeah let us know keep us all updated i'm manifesting the best for you but

always remember if it's right for you the universe will make sure of it and if it isn't the universe will also make sure of it sometimes the universe will try so hard to get you to realize somebody is not right for you and then even if you ignore all the signs, they will force it to happen. They will force it. So trust in the universe. Just hold your hands up. Say, I surrender. You have the power. I trust you. I'm grateful for everything in my life, the path that I'm on. And I trust you. You got this. I got this. He's got this. We got this. Everything everything's gonna happen the way it's supposed to happen and I'm strong enough to deal with it no matter what the outcome you know love you all right let's do another one okay let's have a look hey gorgeous girl hey babe I urgently need your help I've always been a listener and never thought I would be emailing in oh here you are bestie

let's do this me and my boyfriend of three plus years lived together in the house that i bought before i met him okay we love this independent queen i've caught him in the past messaging girls Messaging girls on Snapchat. Ick. But this was early on and haven't had any signs since. Okay. Oh, fuck. I've come to bed tonight and found a blue hair bubble on my bedside table. I've racked my brains and I know I haven't borrowed one of a friend or a colleague etc i always buy the brown pack from primark and have done for years same the black ones for me same best hair bands i honestly do not even recall the last time i bought a colored bobble let me need that to be fair this

had blonde slash brown hair in it which is the same color as mine but it's a common color to have right am i going insane or does this have deeper meaning i really don't want to speak to my friends about this as i don't want to look like a possessive girlfriend please help me love you bye holy fuck yeah it ain't ideal is it what would i think if i lived alone right it was this is my house my boyfriend lives in my house with me and a hair band i've never seen in my life turns up a blue one turns up on my bed sub table. Yeah, I'm jumping to conclusions, hun. I am. I'm not going to lie.

Make it make sense. That's my brain. Okay, you know what we need to do? Initiation. Water bottle test. You know what to do? Let me tell you. So, I saw this on TikTok.

You get some kind of flask or like reusable water bottle okay not like a plastic water bottle a water bottle that is somebody's clearly bought from a shop and they use it as their personal bottle okay you plant it under the car seat one day and then you get into the car with him and you go oh this is your i just found your water bottle in the back babe here you go just found this in the back we just must have rolled under my seat if he goes oh yeah thank you yeah thanks hmm if he goes i ain't mine i've never seen that in my fucking life we know he's confused because no one should be in this car apart from my girlfriend if it ain't hers and it ain't mine that's really weird but if he goes oh yeah thanks sorry yeah must have rolled under your seat what excuse me

i just bought that yesterday from poundland i know that isn't yours so why are you pretending it's yours because you're thinking oh shit that's obviously ella's you know but to be fair I'm sure there's people out there that would go oh yeah thanks and just think I don't know who that is but whatever just not even thinking but I think it's a good test I do think it's a good test we might as well you know um so you haven't approached him about it that's interesting because that'd be the first thing i did i would be who the fuck is this no i don't know i probably would that's a tough one how to navigate this okay i say we look out for more clues because if you're worried that you're going to be that crazy possessive i don't believe in that i think if you have suspicions and if something is giving

you anxiety you have every right in the whole entire world to express those feelings because if somebody if if jamie came to me and he said i've just found um what do boys have that's like hair bands? I've just found this watch under, I don't know, on my bedside table in the drawer and I've never seen it before. I should have an explanation for that if I'm not cheating, which I am not, not by the way I should have an explanation for that oh yeah that I found that I thought was yours isn't that that sounds dodgy though to be fair because if he said that I'll be like you fucking little liar no if I found a watch I wouldn't just put it on his bedside table I'll be like is that your watch I haven't seen that before so yeah if I'm not cheating there's an explanation for that again which I am not why do I sound like I am because I'm like defending it

which I'm not by the way that I actually ain't but the more I say the more I sound like I am what the fuck anyway if I found a watch right and no Jamie's found a watch he's gone I've just found this watch in my bedside drawer I'd be like if you know if there is an explanation oh yeah my brother my brother said he don't want it no more he asked if you wanted it i forgot to mention that to you yeah if you don't just just text him and let him know that you don't want it and he'll probably sell it or something if there's if there's an explanation if it's a dodgy situation i might go i don't know who that is i've never seen that before or i might go i just found it i was putting in drugs i thought it was yours does your boyfriend tidy because it

could be a case of he's just found it i'm just gonna oh that's hers put that on the bedside table for her bless her lost her airband bless her if he's not really one to like pick up little bits off the floor also weird you know also fucking sleeping on my side of the bed like uh fuck so yeah that's the tricky one there's your options from me there's some ideas please keep us updated because at the end of day you can do the test the water bottle test or you can just ask him and confront him you could even say you know i found this hair band i feel really uncomfortable i'm feeling like i can't trust you i'm willing to be the bad guy if i'm wrong i really am but please show me can you just show me your phone you know if if the anxiety is there it

should be transparent in a relationship you should be able to say i found a fucking hairband on my bedside table i've never seen it in my life obviously i'm gonna think you're cheating on me can i look through your phone and the answer should be i mean it's kind of annoying but of course you can if it makes you feel better of course you can. If it makes you feel better, of course you can. I'm not fucking hiding anything. Have a fucking filled day on it. I'm off to make a cup of tea while you do that, all right? So there's your options.

Let me know how that goes, babe. I'm hoping for the best. Fingers crossed. Good vibes. Sending them your way. And yeah, keep us all updated. I'm hoping for the best for you darling but remember everything has a reason universe will remove somebody from their life if if it's trying to send you signs to get rid and you won't let's remember that all right babes

love you oh fantastic dilemmas today weren't they they're actually really fun dilemmas I really enjoyed them all right guys let's wrap up the episode. Okay, everybody. Thank you so much. If you made it all the way here to the end, you are the absolute best. You guys listen now. I'm going to say it.

You're my favorite listeners. Yeah, you are. Yeah, I mean it as well. I actually mean it so yeah let me know any friday episode ideas that you have let's bang out some really good ones i really want to do some dedicated ones you know like we did like the breakup one where i had like i did all the research for it we did the body positivity one we did the single i think it was called the dating episode a few of you have asked for a singles episode but I feel like it would literally be the same as the dating episode unless we did one where it's about not dating being

single and not dating um in which case obviously I'm not really in position to talk about that because I'm in a relationship and being single and not dating isn't really something I've been particularly good at or ever tried to be so I'm not sure if that's really my kind of episode to to stand there and do you know don't feel like I deserve to but any episode ideas let me know also remember learontheline.com for any dilemmas confessions dilemma updates if we answered yours today there was a couple that we need more so give us more babe we love it we love it and yeah i hope you guys all have an amazing week miss you so much already can't wait to speak to you at the end of the week when it's going to be the weekend just think about that look forward to friday hey let's do it all

right guys i love you so much i hope you all have an amazing week and I'll speak to you on Friday for a brand new episode all right I love you bye