Leah on the Line - 96: He's been hanging out with his EX & my boyfriend is angry I won't get his name tattooed!!

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy tuesday happy tuesday everybody guess what this will be the last time we speak before christmas next time we speak to you christmas is going to be well and truly over what the fuck to be fair it will be boxing day next time we speak oh that means i'm i'm gonna have to think about when i film that episode actually when you just realize that six more sleeps guys six more sleeps until christmas i feel like there was no build-up this year I don't know if it's just me but normally like this Christmas period I'm just eating it up like normally I am feeling festive from the 1st of November and to be fair I started my Christmas

shopping early like I I feel like I should have felt more festive and I just don't. And I don't really know why. Like normally I've got Christmas PJs on. I've been going to all the Christmas markets, you know, I'm watching Vlogmas, but I don't know. There's something in the air that I don't know if it's just me, but it doesn't feel too festive. Like I said last week, guys, I feel so overwhelmed. Like my schedule, it's not even that busy, but it feels so hectic like today for example today had to wake up this morning first thing I had to do is have a bath and scrub off my fake tan and then I had to reapply fake tan and then my sister picked me up and we went to a garden center and we made some desserts with the kids like it was it's kind of fun and then I had to make sure I'm packed because I'm going to London tomorrow.

And then I had to go to my dad's because it's his birthday today. Shout out dad. Not that he listens to this. Which I'm kind of glad about. Not going to lie. And then I've come home and I'm like, I've got a podcast. I've just managed to eat. I've got a podcast.

And tomorrow I'm getting up at the crack of dawn literally the crack of dawn and I'm going straight to London I've got an event tomorrow night it's my management's Christmas party and I'm really excited but oh my god am I nervous I've I've never met anyone in my management like I've met I've met a couple of people on the team sorry my voice is a bit don't I mean I just had a bit gravy in my dinner that's probably why ew why does that sound gross like when I tell you that that's the reason gravy oh I love a bit of gravy though to be honest my food swims in gravy literally like the ocean on my plate but anyway yeah so I've met a couple people on the team but I've never met like any of the other talents so I'm kind of I'm kind of nerve I'm kind of nerve and you can't bring any plus ones this

will be not only the first event I'm going to alone god sorry let me clear my throat oh she's not sounding too healthy yeah not only the first event I'm going to alone, but I haven't actually been to that many events because, you know, it's a little bit of anxiety, but whatever, whatever, whatever. So yeah, I'm so scared, but I'll be fine. It'll be so fun. Like, I know when I'm there, I'm going to be fine. It's the thought of something that's worse than what it actually is, you know? Like, you think you're going to be this like awkward, shy mess that's like, hello, can I hang out with you? My name's Leah. I'm really irrelevant. is you know like you think you're going to be this like awkward shy mess that's like hello can i hang out with you my name's leah i'm really irrelevant do you know what i mean that's how it feels it's like proper imposter syndrome um but yeah i am looking forward

to at the same time because also the following day i am going to winter wonderland i've got to do a bit of shopping in the daytime not for christmas presents there's just a couple of bits i need and then we're going to Winter Wonderland in the evening and then the next day I'm heading over to my auntie's because she's coming back down to Somerset for Christmas so we're jumping in with her because it just works out perfectly and then we get the most fun drive ever we can be like driving home for Christmas and then it will be like the 20 22nd 19th 20th 21st what will the date be i think the 21st anyway yeah the 21st and i've got then the next day i'll be like right we need to go out and get any food that we haven't got make sure everything's wrapped you know make sure we're ready to go ready for the big day

you know make sure santa and his elves are all ready you know anything i can do any help whatever so it just feels like everything right now even though like today all i really did was have a bath fake tan hang out my sister and pop and see my dad it's like oh my god right i need to get up i need to make sure i'm tanned by this time my sister picking me up at this time and then i've got to be ready and packed to go around my dad's at this time then i've got to make sure i get my podcast done tonight I've also got to feed myself in between all this and it's not like big things it's just like oh my god there's not there's just not enough hours in the day right speaking of um I Christmas yes we're gonna Christmas I cannot

tell you guys I am more excited for the EastEnders Christmas Day special than Christmas itself. I cannot explain to you how into EastEnders I am right now. I'm just in my EastEnders era. I've not watched EastEnders for about five to seven years. And then recently, not even that recent, it's been quite a few months now. I've just been watching it because my mum watches it. And then i'll do that thing while i'll ask loads of questions like what feels with cat now i thought cat was with alfie i thought phil was with sharon and like i ask all these questions then she gets sick of me and she goes leah if you want to know what's going on in the fucking show just watch the fucking show so then i was like okay okay fine because i am low-key

kind of into this and then that's how i got back into it because my mum was watching it and i had all these questions then I started watching them, not alone, I feel like watching EastEnders alone would be a different level, like, if you're watching it in the daytime on catch up, although my friend Summer, like, she will wake up in the morning and watch five episodes, because she's behind, like, she's binging EastEnders, that's crazy, but anyway, I'm so into it, like, it's just so crazy right now, like, who's gonna die on Christmas Day, who's the killer, I'm so into it, I love Sookie, I love Stacey, I just, I'm so into it like it's just so crazy right now like who's gonna die on Christmas day who's the killer I'm so into it I love Sookie I love Stacey I just I love so many people so many characters the acting is just really up there at the moment with some top Hollywood actors you know it's just

amazing it's just giving so honestly if you can relate because I know I keep I'm on EastEnders TikTok now and there's so many people because I thought it was like a middle age to old age kind of thing like eastenders like watching the soap like it's like what your mums watch turns out we like people our age watch it too and like people all over tiktok they're like me when somebody tries to speak on the Christmas Day special. It's like, shut up, shut up, woman. And it's like, oh, it's just honestly, if you know, you know, if you are, if you are like me and you're just living for it at the moment, how excited are you? I put it on my story the other day. Like, who do you think's getting killed? Who, who was it? I'm so into it, guys. If you don't watch it, that must be so annoying that i've rambled on about it

for about five minutes sorry babes but anyway yeah this will be the last time we speak until christmas is over how depressing is that and when you think about it we spend hundreds of pounds or whatever you know whatever we spend and it's all this massive build-up and we go to all these christmas parties and and winter wonderland and christmas markets and we're shopping and shopping and shopping and shopping every day shopping shopping shopping all of a sudden it's like done and then you're just depressed until march that's just me anyway i am god i really struggle january february guys just get ready for me to be like hey guys um it's it's january it's really cold and really dark and i'm so depressed because seriously i seriously really struggle with it but i'll be okay i'll be okay honestly

oh he's done his answer okay i'm gonna shut up about his sentence now because i know a lot of you won't watch it and it'll be really annoying okay guys guys why did i say it like that okay guys okay so this episode gonna be the usual tuesday i've got a weekly debate that is inspired by one of our dilemmas which we love so thank you so much for tuning in today i really really really really really appreciate that you took the time out of your day to listen to this episode i love you and appreciate you so much so without further ado is it further further or do or further ado either way don't really know what it means if you actually think about it what does that mean without further ado huh do you know one one habit jamie has right he always messes phrases up just a little bit wrong that's it all the time he'll be like

it's not the end all or be all and it's so hard listen i i'm one thing i've noticed about myself is i have such an ugly trait that i really hate and it's that i i have to correct somebody if they do something like that like not in like a um it's actually be all or end all like not in a way like that I'll just be like be all or end all you mean be all or end all but whatever like and I do it all the time and I've already noticed it and I noticed it a while ago and I've really tried to get better at it my nephew does it all the time like I think it's just a little twat thing to do and I've realized I'm a bit of a little twat like my my nephew will say to my mom no my mom will say to my nephew like oh what you're gonna do when you get home play on your playstation and he'll be like xbox you mean you mean xbox because he has an xbox and every

time my mom's like oh my god you know what I mean just say yes or no and when I realized he does it I was like that is so annoying and I do that and it's so annoying so yeah I've stopped doing that I feel like but I'm dying inside sometimes sometimes like it's not the end all or be all I'm literally like so bad i just want to be like be lauren do you know what i mean it's so annoying like well you're such a know-it-all like fuck off leah do you know what i mean you know nothing all right guys anyway let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates enjoy the episode love you okay everybody so my question for you this week as i did mention earlier it is inspired by one of our dilemmas

today so it says your partner wants to get your names tattooed on each other are you down okay so your boyfriend or girlfriend has come to you and said babe i really feel like we should get each other's names tattooed are you okay or is it um what the fuck darling okay not gonna happen let's have a little look someone just says lol no absolutely not 100% wouldn't be with them if i didn't think he was the one not until we're married the relationship needs to be as permanent as the tattoo oh i like it absolutely not no bumper stickers on a bentley babes wow you know kim actually has a tattoo because by the way if any i didn't actually mention that is a famous kim kardashian quote and she actually has a tattoo on the inside of her lip

which i don't even remember what it says but pretty crazy um names no initial I'd consider or a symbol absolutely not I would do initial but not a full name I could never no matter what I just couldn't I wouldn't even get my kids names love him though um if I've been with them a year plus and I'd get their initial at least a year no that's crazy to me a year like I for me I don't I would never get a name I just wouldn't I would never get a name because even if we'd been together a hundred years you are my absolute soulmate we've got kids we've got the rings we've got the house we've got it all you know we're for life even if that was the case I just don't want an aim on me like I just I don't think it I don't think I would like it do you know what I mean it feels a little bit like I've been branded you know um initial I

I think is kind of cute you know we can do an initial but one year if i've been with them a year plus not for me personally because i've been in a four-year relationship and an almost three-year relationship so for me a year is not enough time um to reach their own though of course i would defo get matching tattoos or ones dedicated to each other but not names yeah okay yeah i can get on board with that absolutely not maybe something else but no names no i've nearly done this about 15 times oh my god that's the thing like if you'd nearly got it and then you broke up like imagine you'd be like oh fuck i didn't get that tattoo imagine okay hell no i have so many tattoos but this is a dangerous game to

play get a symbol instead yeah that's cute somebody says if i'm honest i think it's just tacky well yeah to each their own as i said on the On the feet, yes, because they come off. Do they? Oh, I did not know that. Not an initial or name, but a symbol or object for sure. He can get mine, that's it. You're like, yeah, yeah, you do it first, just so I know you're serious. And then like, I'll get mine and it just never happens. Yeah, cover-ups are good these days, YOLO. I mean, that is true. Yeah, cover-ups are good these days, YOLO. I mean, that is true. My bestie's ex got her initial on his wrist and then they broke up the day after. Okay, it's a curse. Oh, wow. Imagine your partner had their ex's name tattooed. Imagine. Oh, I'll pick that out myself. oh, I'll pick that out myself. Okay. Okay. I'd get matching tattoos, but not names.

Absolutely not. I have a matching tattoo with a bestie, but never a partner or their name. Well, interesting fact. I have the worst tattoo you've ever seen, but I have a heart tattoo on my wrist. It's absolutely dreadful. The guy that did it, bear in mind, I was like 16. So that's so illegal that he even did that and I went in there with my friend and we were like we just want little hearts on our wrist and he was like yeah that's fine come sit down bear in mind I never had a tattoo before and I was an actual child and he didn't even use a stencil or anything he just freehandly that's that doesn't make sense he just drew it freehand and I shit myself as I felt the first bit and I jogged and it like made a little squiggly line and he did not recover it well like he just made one half of the heart very thick and the

other half normal I was like okay and it scarred really bad it's almost like he pressed so deep with the needle but yeah anyway the point of the story is the friend that I got that matching tattoo with like we don't even speak nothing bad happened like we didn't fall out we just lost touch but yeah I mean we're bonded for life with that time I guess um for sure depends on how long you've been together no nothing against him i just feel like if the relationship ended i'd feel embarrassed not his name but i have his birth flower what's the birth flower oh my god google's immediately august wait how do you do it it's like a is it just the month let's have a look august birth flower it's a

gladius and a poppy august has two birth month flowers the oh gladius gladiolus and the poppy okay i mean pretty oh they're pretty oh they're actually so pretty okay anyway shut up leo pretty oh they're actually so pretty okay anyway shut up leo i've got to make it about me again um no be down to get something the same but no names or dates absolutely not never no absolutely not i don't doubt our relationship but it's so tacky not gonna lie nope i would never get a name something symbolic i would consider but only when we're married something meaningful yes but not names yes but it must be tasteful small and discreet nothing tacky um not without a baby and ring names are tacky but there's always cover-up so maybe initials or a matching tat I love how it's like when we're getting these partner tattoos we're already thinking in my mind how easy is this going to be to cover it can't be a good

sign can it i'll keep it small just in case you know not a name but i wouldn't mind a matching tattoo for something meaningful between us no never and for no one nope it would feel like he needs to prove something and i'm not a tattoo girly absolutely not i'd get the letter but only if it was the same letter as my dog's mood and then you can be like oh it's M for missy love it okay interesting so the majority vote is no and absolutely fucking not so that's interesting how many people do you know that have an ex or a current partner's name tattooed because I know one person and one person only and it's a pretty big tattoo on her hip and it's pretty large and in charge so but that's it that's the only person I know that's ever done that so actually do you want to know something

crazy guys this is crazy. I know somebody. She's not like a close friend of mine, but she's a close friend of a friend. She has her ex's name. Bearing in mind she is now in a relationship with somebody new and have been together for a long time. So this tattoo is old. But when she was young, she got her ex's name tattooed on her purse yes can you imagine that every time every time he's gone down on her and you just got like steven i don't know the name imagine if it's steven i hope not but yeah not anything against the name steven i just mean I don't want to just out with the name. Okay. Yeah. How crazy is that though? Imagine that your girlfriend comes home like surprise. This is just tattooed on the purse. Wow. I mean, that is just you only live

once energy, isn't it? All right, guys. Thank you so much for sending in your responses. Lovely debating with you all let's get into some dilemmas okay everybody so we actually have an update and i'm really excited to read this out to you so it says hey my lovely leah oh i love that i feel so special firstly love love love the pod thank you for reading out my dilemma last week i'm the girl who had or has wedding anxiety don't worry i didn't expect you to be an expert lol i took your advice and sought out counseling for my anxiety you You hear this guys? People listen to me. It's just, it makes me laugh. People listen to me. Well, you don't like listen to me, but like you,

you consider what I say, which is lovely. You know, I guess that's the point in why I do it. Not like, oh, that sounded like I was like, yeah, as you should. That's the point. No, I didn't mean like that. I meant like, I guess that's the point and why I even suggest things you know Leah just shut up I have that thing where I just feel like I need to explain myself all the time okay I have now come to realize my anxiety first stemmed from a conversation with my in-laws who offered to pay for our reception slash party it all of a sudden felt so real after they mentioned our wedding day i even had two sessions oh sorry i had two sessions with a counselor and even just getting my feelings out to somebody without bias or judgment has helped me so much yay i'm so happy about that

and you know what i can get this about the conversation you have because it's like it might have been one of the first conversations about something real you know where it's like I will pay for it it's like that is a real situation a real circumstance I'll pay for it and that might have literally been the moment where it's hit you where you're like oh my god I'm getting married and to be honest I imagine like I said last time I've never been a fiancee to be honest I'm glad at this current point in my life but yeah I cannot relate but I imagine that is very common to be overwhelmed by that and have anxiety I just do you're like oh my god I'm getting married fucking hell am I actually gonna do this am I crazy you know so but I'm imagining from this that where you've had this

conversation with the in-laws and it's give you that feeling of like oh my fucking god i'm getting married then because of that feeling your brain like associates emotional memory do you know what i mean so whenever somebody else has mentioned it to you it's triggered that emotional memory of like oh just because you experienced it the first time you know so I get it and I can see how that would happen okay continuing on um I know this is a work in progress but I think I'm starting to realize my anxiety um stems from past relationships for failing before we hit a milestone even though I would say this is my first serious relationship my previous relationships have ended in heartache just before the one year

mark or i found out they were cheating oh see that's the thing it's like you're fine do you know what it is it's like things are finally just not breaking down like like they have previously it's like wait a minute surely things are going to start breaking down now because that's what's happened in your experience you're like okay when's the cheating gonna happen when's the heartbreak gonna come so your brain is like struggling to accept that you have something lovely this time do you know what i mean um where are we i also think i have huge imposter syndrome. We own a beautiful house. I have a very stable career, which I've worked so hard to progress in.

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve this. How did I find a nice guy? Will something go wrong? I need to enjoy this moment in life and live in the present day. Yeah, this is the thing. It makes so much sense. So 2024 is looking like my self-development and healing era before i become a whole wifey in 2025 i also did open up to my fiance about these feelings he related oh i bet that was such a relief or were you like what do you fucking mean you're like i'm really nervous about getting married to you and he's like yeah i'm nervous about getting married to you and you're like whoa whoa sir why what do you mean no I'm kidding that's a that's a relief isn't it of just like oh okay well we're in this together he has come from a broken home where

divorce is all he's known so he assured me that this marriage is end game and it's okay to be anxious oh you know what you have a lovely marriage i mean relationships seem to be marriage and yeah you're so right you just need to enjoy it because just because things have gone badly before or ended in heartbreak before doesn't mean that this will this is the time where things are just going to work out and how amazing is that god i want to be sick now i'm never this soppy so it's a long one thank you for listening babe sending you all my love hint hint jamie put a ring on it oh not yet babes but yeah take notes oh i love that i'm so happy for you i'm so pleased i'm so pleased you feel a little bit more seen and a bit more relieved, you know. I'm pleased. I'm so pleased for you. I'll never say that. I'm so pleased. It's quite a nice thing to say. I'm going to start saying that more. Oh,

I'm so pleased. I'm so pleased. That's lovely, isn't it? What a nice thing to say. Oh, I'm going to add that to my vocabulary. All right, guys. Next dilemma. Oh, sorry. Previous girl. I love you so much. And best of luck with all the counseling. Enjoy it. Soak it up. Any other things you want to talk about, get them off your chest, babe. Enjoy these moments. Okay. I love you. I'm so proud of you. Okay. Next dilemma. Hey, girly. I have an issue with my current boyfriend of three years. A couple of months ago he went to meet his friend at our local pub for a catch-up but then he texted me saying his ex from high school works there and instantly I was anxious. So a bit of a backstory. Me and Jack have been together back and forth in our relationship for three years. We broke up last November and got back together in the March. During that time of our

breakup I was seeing somebody else but nothing further continued as Jack my ex at the time reached out and we really missed each other so we decided to slowly give it some time months went by and we were the best has ever been so my relationship anxieties and worries started to fade away amazing we're back on track however that night when he told me he was at the pub with his friend and his ex was working behind the bar has been really playing on my mind as it wasn't just a quick exchange it was him spending the full evening with her playing pool oh no not the bending over the pool table sorry i've made it worse i'm making it worse okay um and having a drink together and even waited for her to finish work as she had told her told him her grandma had recently passed

and he wanted to be with her okay you know what it's given you know what it's given obviously i'm sorry your grandma passed away yeah like obviously like, obviously it's like, I am, it is given that from you, but same, like, same, you're like, why, why do you have to confide in my ex, my boyfriend, your ex, I mean, you know, okay, he told me all of this while he was with her and told me I was being selfish for feeling upset and confused. Fuck off. Fuck respectfully. No, sorry, disrespectfully, since there's a lack of respect around here. Fuck off. I sound like a horse then. For being, for feeling upset and confused. A few hours had gone by and he messaged me telling me she had dropped him home in her car and that was it you better walk you better get walking next time sweetheart or get a cab why the x like why

has it got to be the x do you know what i mean um okay okay okay and that was it i can't help but think if there is something still there, as when we had broken up, he told me he invited her to his house and they spent the night together and shared a kiss. Right, well then this is just not acceptable, is it? It's not innocent. Clearly fucking not innocent, is it? And even asked to take her on a date to which she had declined. Right, so if she had said yeah where would we be now realistically do you know what i mean i just can't get this out my head and i'm left wondering what would have happened if she had been more interested that night they

spoke at the pub please can you give me some advice on how to stop overplaying this in my mind as i don't want any intrusive thoughts all my love oh i love you okay now that is difficult because technically you weren't together when he's had this night where they've gone home and spent the night and had a little kiss but the thing is is if that line has been crossed you are not just friends at this point like you are showing me a lack of respect because you're still together on this night. Sorry, hiccup. You're still together on this night at the pub. You're still together, right? That's what I'm assuming, looking back at this. But whilst you were separated, he spent the night with his ex and give her a smooch.

And now you're back together and he spent some time with her at the pub so in my mind in my personal opinion that is not acceptable in terms of respect because you've crossed the line you're not just platonic friends because you spent the night together and you kissed you even asked to take her on a date these two may have even slept together not to make you think worse but you spent the night together let's hope that he is just telling you the truth and it was just a kiss but either way it doesn't really make a difference because at that point you weren't together and that's that what matters is that that happened and then now that you're together he's hanging out with her and that completely shows a lack of respect to me because you blurred

those lines while we were separated. You know, it's not even just a case of, oh, it's your ex before me. It is your ex before me and when we were split up for a short period, you went back to her and now we're together again and I've got to be okay with you two hanging out, playing pool together. She's fucking dropping you home. Like what what in what world am I okay with that because I would like to live there because this is stress do you know what I mean so to be honest the fact that he shut your feelings down says it all like the fact that you can go to him and say I feel upset about it I feel anxious about it you know I'm overthinking it. I am. And he turns around and he's like, well, you're pathetic. Well, you're fucking pathetic, mate.

Get away from me, to be honest. Like, even if in his mind, he did nothing wrong, it is not difficult to say, okay, well, let's talk about this. Tell me how how you feel tell me how i can make you feel better about this let me reassure you you know it's all well and good going nothing happened nothing happened she dropped me home that was it like it's all well and good like she told me her grandma passed away like i was being there for her yeah but i'm telling you i feel anxious about it and you're telling me i'm selfish you're telling me I'm selfish for being upset who who am I affecting here by being upset seriously tell me let me know because I feel like the only one that's actually suffering in this situation in any way shape or

form so I believe I don't know what you should do about it but i i do want to sit here and validate your feelings on it and say regardless of how platonic that night was how innocent it may have been it could have been completely innocent what i want to validate for you is that you are feeling anxious about it and upset and confused and the fact that he shut that down speaks volumes because even if he had done nothing with her that night and it was there was no flirt in it was purely platonic it is not hard to hear somebody's feelings and accept them i'm not accusing you of anything mate i'm not accusing you of anything, mate. I'm not accusing you. I'm not suggesting that you're bullshitting me. I'm not suggesting that anything happened with her. I'm telling you,

now that I know that you kissed her and you asked her on a date when we was on a break, we were on a break, it makes me feel anxious and upset. And to that, any person in their right mind should surely say, yeah, babe, I get that. I do get that. But let me reassure you that there was nothing in it and nothing genuinely happened. I can promise you that now you're everything to me, but I do get how you feel, you know, that's not hard. So yeah, like I said, I don't know what you should do about it. But yeah, I do just want to validate your feelings on that and maybe go to him in a conversation about this again and say, look, that night isn't really so much the problem at this point. It's the

fact that you're shutting me down and not listening to me. I'm telling you, I feel anxious about it. I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm not calling you a liar. I'm not saying anything bad, bad happened that night. I'm not saying you did anything you shouldn't have done. I'm telling you how I feel about it. And your only job here is to make me feel better. That is all I'm not saying you did anything you shouldn't have done I'm telling you how I feel about it and your only job here is to make me feel better that is all I'm asking and you're not doing it instead you're calling me selfish and that's not nice so maybe just talk to him about that you know but I love you and your feelings are valid I would feel exactly the same. And yeah, that's my advice to you. I love you so much. I think you're amazing. And Merry Christmas, babe. Next dilemma. Okay, speaking of Christmas, Christmas dilemma. Hey, girl, hope you're doing amazing. I hope you are as well.

So my Christmas dilemma is more of like a holiday dilemma. How do I not cave into the guy I used to talk to who will be coming back home for the holidays? I live at home and I know he's going to hit me up when he comes back and I really want to stay strong and not meet up with him because he honestly didn't have any respect for me or interest in pursuing a relationship with me. Thank you for all that you do. Love you. Bye. love you, bye, okay, so, this is honestly giving, like, the hallmark Christmas movie, his bag hump for the holidays, like, okay, I think we make ourselves completely unavailable, unapproachable, unattainable, and unavailable, so, he's blocked, to be honest, like, it doesn't matter if he's like, what the fuck? Why is she fucking not moving?

It often even happens. I don't care. I don't care if you think that's dramatic. I don't care if you're confused. I just, I don't want you to have access to me because you've said here, he shows no respect. He is not interested in a relationship and you have something there for him that makes you cave.

So in my personal opinion, I believe the best thing for you, because that's what's priority, especially right now, the best thing for you is we block, we do not allow him to access you. You are completely unavailable and he doesn't have access to you. That's my idea of a good approach

because you have listed here that he doesn't respect you and doesn't want anything from you. So what is the point? If the only thing that helps you, I mean, sorry, that stops you from, you know, not going there with him is just that thing, that feeling of like, he's going to hit you up and you can't say no, let's not even allow him to hit you up. You know, let's take back that control. Take the power back. You can't even hit me up because I'm just not that interested in you. Sorry, babe. That's honestly short and sweet. That's what I have to say. He's blocked, reported, you know. All right. I love you so much, babe. You deserve peace and love. Okay. Peace. We choose peace. We choose block.

of peace and love okay peace we choose peace we choose block okay i love you so much next dilemma my boyfriend is wanting to get tattoos for each other okay we're talking weekly debate okay my boyfriend is wanting to get tattoos for each other and i've told him that i only want to do that if we are married or at least engaged because you know anything can happen i think he was a bit offended and he said that he would do it and commit to me but i feel like you don't need a tattoo to show your commitment to your other half have people gotten tattoos with their boyfriend and regretted it and do we think this is a reasonable thing for him to be mad about okay personally i don't think you can be mad about that no i don't and to be honest play him the weekly debate to understand that you are not the only person in the world that does not want to do that. So I get it. If it's something that you really

want, like he really wants to get tattoos of each other. And I get it that if you had this lovely romantic idea where you're like, yeah, I want to get matching tattoos with my girl. And you're like, no. No, babe. I get it. get it he'd be like what but I really want to however we gotta be careful do not absolutely do not get this tattoo because you do not want to get it you don't you said you want you only want to do that if you're married or at least engaged but the thing is even if you don't want to do it, then don't do it. Don't do it to make this person happy. Because to be honest, not to be dramatic, but this can be seen as a form of control and possession, you know, locking you down, stamping you on like you're mine, I'm yours, you know.

you're mine, I'm yours, you know. So if it's not something that is happening really genuinely and really lovely and it's come from the heart and we did it together and we were both excited about it, you're like, yeah, let's do it. If it's like a, oh, he really wants me to do it and I told him I would now that we're engaged, so I need to go fucking get it. Don't do it. If it's not something you genuinely want to do, you are going to look at that tattoo and you're going to hate it and they are not easy to get rid of so yeah i know he can't be annoyed at you for that i'm sorry it's my fucking body like no i'll wear a necklace with your initial on it okay that's the best you're gonna get so yeah i think definitely don't do it out of pressure, out of guilt, out of feeling like you're supposed to because he's telling you that's what we do and we're committed to each other. No, you don't have to do that. Only do that if it's something you really genuinely feel,

yeah, I would love to do that. That's lovely. I definitely want to do that together. If you don't feel like that, I really wouldn't, to be honest. And yeah, like I said, I personally don't think he has the right to be pissed off about it, to be completely honest. So yeah, I love you so much. Keep your foot firmly on the ground and do not get that toe. All right. I love you so much. Okay. Let's do one more since I'm answering these short and sweet. I'm not snappy to the point today. Okay. Hi Leah. So I've been speaking to this guy on and off for some time now. Six years. Six years. Okay. Wow. He's had a few relationships. I've been single, but he's always come back to me. So last week he had a few relationships I've been single but he's always come back to me so last week he had a

pretty hectic week and said we should make plans for this week he gives me compliments and makes me feel good however this week he's been pretty distant and hasn't replied to any messages I'm wondering if he's got another partner he hasn't messaged me since Saturday so I don't know whether to call it off as it means I'm back to square one in my dating life okay you are not back to square one in your dating life by calling this off because let me tell you something this guy is only holding you back if you cut this off you are going forward babe let me promise you that now six years on and off is wild And the fact that you're saying like, he always comes back to me, you know, I think we need to flip the way we're seeing this.

And rather than like, oh, he's come back to me again. Like he's obsessed with me. Like he literally loves me. Because trust me, that would be me as well. I think we need to think about it as like, stop fucking using me. Like it's not a case of they always come back. It's a case of he's come back

to get what he wants because he knows i'm available because i've been available on and off for six years whenever it fucking suits him and enough is enough and i think now we say okay give it up you know let me go so yeah my opinion is this guy is only holding you back you are not going back to square one in your day in life you are going beaming ahead is this guy is only holding you back. You are not going back to square one in your day in life. You are going beaming ahead, leaving this guy in the past where he belongs because nothing is happening. You know, he's gone distant again. It's like, stop fucking with me. Do you think I'm put on this planet for you when it suits you? Because absolutely I am not. No, the answer is no, I'm not. So let so let them go I think to be honest I think after

six years of fucking around on and off and now you're going distant again and you're coming to me because you've had a pretty hectic week I think it's time to give it the block to be honest I don't think anything needs to be said to him I don't think you need to say like hey you know I'm gonna block you I think this has gone on and off for too long I think just block and just let it go and just move on move forward leave this guy in the past because it is just long you know like you're coming back again what do you fucking want you know oh you're gone distant again what you're busy now you can't you're coming back again. What do you fucking want? You know, oh, you've gone distant again. What are you busy now? You can't, you're not bored anymore. Like what is it? You know, I think we need to really embody a huge level of self-respect and say, no, thank you. Enough is enough. You know, you fucked with me for six years. Again, similar to that previous

dilemma, you're not not gonna have access to me anymore sorry babe you know that's what I think anyway okay oh I love you and you just deserve better than that you just do deserve commitment if that's what you want from someone you know so yeah okay I love you all right guys thank you so much for sending in all of your dilemmas I love chatting with you all today please stay for the outro and let's wrap up the episode I love you. All right, guys. Thank you so much for sending in all of your dilemmas. I love chatting with you all today. Please stay for the outro and let's wrap up the episode. Okay, everyone, this is it. This is it now until Christmas is over for another year. is over for another year oh just goes so quickly doesn't it oh guys i hope you all have an amazing christmas to everybody that celebrates it i hope you have an amazing festive week this week on an

amazing christmas day whatever it is that you're getting up to to anybody that finds this time of year a little bit difficult i love you i'm thinking of you i'm sending you all a massive hug i wish we could all spend christmas day together oh my god how fun would that be a massive table we'll hire a chef or five cook us all a big fucking roast with collie cheese stuffing crispy crunchy fluffy on the inside potatoes, giant Yorkie puds, parsnips of honey, carrots with honey. What else are we missing here? The meat. What's your go-to meat on Christmas day to any of my meat eaters? Because in my house, we do chicken. I honestly think turkey is so bad. I'm not going to lie. And I know everybody has turkey. It's just so dry, you know?

But it is tradition. We have chicken and we put gammon in the slow cooker. We cook it in Coke. Is that what? Coca-Cola. I did not need to clarify that. It's so stupid. All right. Do you know what is one thing about christmas that is just annoying fucking crackers do you know how expensive crackers are i know most people

if you go around your mums or your dads or your aunties or your grandmas or whoever it is for christmas and they buy the crackers and you've never had to buy the crackers you may not actually know they're a fucking rip-off mate it is like over a tenner for eight fucking crackers you get a shitty hat that breaks every fucking time it just snaps in half a stupid joke a stupid joke and a little dice oh honestly it's just classic though isn't it it's just routine in britain in the uk actually is christmas crackers just like a uk thing or is that like a thing in in the world you know oh i'd love to know what's your christ traditions all over the world. I wish I'd asked that. Damn it. Okay. Anyway, I'm so excited for Christmas.

I really am. I'm so excited to do my Secret Santa with my fam. I'm so excited for a good old roast. I'm just excited. Me and Jamie do our presents on Christmas Eve. So I'm excited for that. I feel like I've gotten some good presents. But we didn't want to go mad this year.

We thought there's no need, you know. So I have gotten some nice presents. So I'm excited. I think, I think he got me a coffee machine, even though I told him not to go mad and I could literally be making it up, but I'm so good at guessing presents. I'm so good at guessing presents. Believe me, I will guess it. And I said to him, give me a clue. And he said, it's something you'll use every day I said I know what it is he said what I said it's a coffee machine and he he didn't deny or confirm but I suppose you can't really and I just know it is guys I'll let you know next week but I just know it I just got this I just know he's probably thinking fucking hell you're you're going to be very disappointed. But he wouldn't. What do I use every day?

My phone. He hasn't got me a bloody new phone. What do I use every single day? Nothing else. I make my coffee every single morning and I use my phone every day. So it has to be a coffee machine. It has to be. Seriously. Oh, I can't wait.

I hope it's a good one. Spoiled bitch. It's so funny because he's probably thinking oh great she thinks I've got her a fucking 200 pound coffee machine no I don't this thing I said to him we're not getting big presents so surely you wouldn't have got me that but I really genuinely can't think of anything else I would use every day anyway a box arrives it's looking like a coffee machine sized box I was thinking get in so yeah I keep winding him up saying I can't wait to make my Christmas morning coffee of my new machine if he hasn't got me one I'm gonna be like oh fuck but I genuinely am so good at guessing presents I always guess and also James one of

the people that like I'll just be minding my own business and he'll go do you want a present literally minding my own business do you want an early christmas present i just can't say no i can't say no we've already done an early present literally already done one oh i can't help myself i've got i've already give all my niece and nephews an early christmas present i couldn't deal i made them all a little cute hamper this is such a lovely idea by the way to anyone that needs a last minute gift idea for young children or anyone that loves sweets or chocolate right primark do these little crates that are tiny they're probably not the size of like a a5 piece of paper such a random way to describe it and they just they're like flat packed and you just like fold it open and snap it up

they're £1.50 and they have loads of different colours right and then I went to card factory and for 99p I got little bags of shredded paper and I got all my niece and nephews so I got three nephews and one niece and I got Miley my niece a pink one I got Frankie a yellow one Louie a blue one and Rhys a blue one right and got them all their matching color shredded paper and went to the sweet shop and got them all their favorite things so Miley is obsessed with bubble gum she loves bubble gum so I made her like a huge bubble gum hamper and it's all like really cool bubble gum sweets in this really cute hamper this is obviously not their main present by the way I just I had this idea and I just wanted to add it as well and then Louie this is really weird okay Louie is at that age where they're just obsessed with like bugs and like poo like he just finds like bath and poo like it's so funny and i went to the sweet shop and i realized

it must be a thing amongst kids because they had a whole section of like poo themed sweets trust me i didn't get him like a poo themed hamper but i put a couple of them in there it was funny Trust me, I didn't get him like a poo themed hamper, but I put a couple of them in there. It was funny. And then like all his favorite bits. And then Frankie, he loves all sweets, chewy sweets, lollies. Like he loves them all. So I did Frankie a big hamper of all his favorite sweets.

And then Rhys, who's the oldest, he loves chocolate and blue sweets. So I got blue sweets. And then in his, I put like loads of twirls, buenos, kinder bars and just made them all really personal to them and they loved it because I thought it's such a nice idea you can build your own it doesn't cost that much at all and it's such a nice little second present or to be honest a first present because they loved it because it was personal to them they all had different ones and it was all things that they love and it's thoughtful so yeah i just think that's such a lovely little present idea if anyone wants to make use of that to be honest jamie would love that jamie is the sweet king he loves sweets it's crazy i'm not really a sweets girl at all but anyway guys oh i hope you all have an amazing christmas

why does it feel so emotional do you know what is going to be weird when we do the episode where it's the last one before next year? And it's like, see you next year. But I will be doing the New Year's special. Obviously, we didn't really do a Christmas special. But to be honest, when I thought about it, everything that I wanted to talk about, I spoke about in the last one and the answers would all be the same. So I was like, I think we'll be okay be okay without christmas special but the new year special we're all going to talk about our new year's resolutions what we learned this year what we achieved what we're aiming for next year what our intentions are next year what we're focusing on um i'll reflect on my yearly psychic reading that i had so yeah i'm really looking forward to that so it's going to be really really soon

oh guys i hope you have an amazing christmas if you again obviously if you celebrate it but if not then just have an amazing week babe and i will speak to you all on tuesday for a brand new episode i love you so so so much oh i can't believe it next time i speak to you christmas is going to be over how crazy that sounds really negative. Okay. It'll be fine. Alright guys.

Have the best week. And I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode. Alright. I love you. Bye.