Leah on the Line - Bonus 12: The FRIENDSHIPS episode

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Hey everyone! Welcome to this Friday's episode where we discussed all things friendships. It was super fun and I loved some of the topics you guys sent in. You are the best friends ever!! Thank you so much to everyone that listens to LOTL, you're amazing! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hey everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leo and the line how are you happy friday welcome to the first friday since the Confession Diaries died. RIP to the Confession Diaries, you will be missed. God rest its soul. But I have a really exciting episode for you. We're going to just talk about friendships. One of you guys sent this in to me, shout out Alex, for this idea. She was like, hey babe, I've just had a great idea.

Why don't you just talk about friendships? And obviously I get a lot of you sending confessions and dilemmas surrounding friendship. And I was like, yeah, do you know what? I have done it before, maybe like twice where I did an episode, like strictly a no boy zone. But I thought, you know what? Let's do it again because there's a lot around friendship that we haven't yet covered. So let's do that together today. But anyway, before we start, how are you? Hope hope you're well happy friday what are you up to this weekend it was actually my birthday this week i don't know if i meant it i'm actually 25 now thank you so much to everyone that sent me a birthday message so cute actually loved it made me feel really popular and really

good and you know like obviously this is about friendship so i'm going to tell you about the fact that i'm actually not popular and actually don't have many friends so it was actually quite nice to feel like I had some friends for the day so uh shout out to all of my best friends listening hey girl and um yeah what's new in your lives let me know send me a dm and do you know what without further ado is it further or do do further or do or further ado what is the saying do we ask siri this is where she's fucking embarrassed me all the time hey siri don't fucking embarrass me i don't even know what to ask him i'm bottled it right okay embarrass me in front of my friends anyway just forget it you guys will probably know the answer and i don't and that's fine because i never really do understand any of the catchphrases do you know i'm actually

really good at catchphrase you know the tv show catchphrase on itv if anyone from itv is listening can i please go on catchphrase because that's actually one of my dreams um i really want to go on it i actually genuinely i'm good at it even though i don't know sayings like obviously in this podcast i'm always like what's that saying what's that saying i'm very good at catchphrase like i will get every single one right and i will beat you all i'll literally play you all under the fucking table mate i'm so good at it but i reckon i'd go on it and i would just bottle it and i wouldn't have a clue my brain would go blank and i'll be shit and then i'd be so annoyed and i'll be getting pissed off at steven because he embarrasses the guests sometimes don't he like when you give when he's

like just guess just have a guess anyway then you guess and he's like no you idiot and makes you feel really stupid and then he'll do that to me and then i'll start kicking off i'll start kicking off steven then i'll get dragged out of my security out of itv studios no i'm joking anyway um but yeah please let me go and catch praise if anyone's listening let's get what other actually tv shows could i go on big brother's coming back i'd be a lunatic in that house i'll be megan mckenna 2.0 without a shadow of a doubt i'm starving i actually would be as well in it i would actually lose my mind i think i think i'd actually um get kicked out for mental health reasons because actually if you actually think about it back in the day they didn't they would actually just let

people talk to themselves like think about all the times people was in that diary room like get me out of here remember when steven bear was in there oh we didn't talk about steven bear do we but we'll talk about him now remember when he was in there and he was like kick it off i'm i'm a fucking big c word and then he was like and then the security opened the door and he's like okay okay okay i just wanted i just wanted to know someone was there and then the security opened the door and he's like okay okay okay i just wanted i just wanted to know someone was there he's and then megan mckenna let me in there let me in there but if that happened now oh my god the world would just break loose because obviously now thank god we actually give a fuck about people's mental health so how are they going to do big brother

this year and look after their mental health because that's actually a form of torture. Locking people in a house with cameras 24-7, that's actually a form of torture. Imagine that. I'll do it though. I'll do it for nothing. Yeah, you bet I would. Anyway, let's just get into the episode. I put up an Instagram story and said I'm going to do an episode about friendships. Ask me anything you want, any topics, any areas you want to go over and you guys gave some really really good suggestions and i just screenshot a few of them so let's just hop in shall we everyone get comfortable everyone get comfortable and let's talk about friendships or the lack of them whichever way it goes okay good luck strap in and i love you all first one what to do when your friend constantly puts their boyfriend before

you and any of the girls? Oh, I feel like this is so common as well, isn't it? Because when you're like first in a relationship, at least like maybe your first relationship or at the beginning of any relationship, it's so easy to get really obsessed with them and like addicted to being in their company because of how you feel so good when you're around them so I kind of get it but as I've gotten older that's not really been a thing for me like my friends are so important to me because what you learn is when those relationships fail which you know a lot of the time they do especially at this age I mean it's not very often you meet someone when you're a teenager and then that's the person you were forever you know would, would be nice. But a lot of the time, the relationship fails, relationships, and or they get difficult, who's there for you every time,

your friends. So what I've learned is to value those friendships so much, especially when you get into a new relationship, because those are the people that will pick up the pieces every single time. So it is really difficult being the friend and you're like um hello everything i've done for you all these times we've been there for each other and all the times you've been there for me where are you now i really need my friend and also don't take advantage of of all the things i've done for you mentally emotionally supported you now you've got a boyfriend don't need me anymore i know it hurts it does hurt but i think people learn and i think it does happen and it is kind of natural to go through those things.

But I think hopefully I like to think people do learn and it doesn't really last that way forever. But sometimes they do have to learn the hard way and lose friendships like due to that behavior. But it's difficult because it's like when when you've got a friend who's doing that with their boyfriend, when you confront them and say like you're neglecting me like you're spending all your time with your boyfriend i fully don't care about this friendship anymore sometimes it actually just pushes them away and they think like oh my god fuck off do you know what i mean sometimes it doesn't actually help no matter what you no matter what you say to them they're still gonna do it so that's why it's so difficult i think if i was in that position i would say something

but i would just you, I always say this. I would just approach it gently and be like, look, I get it. I've done it. I understand, like, you're so in love. I'm absolutely buzzing for you. But please don't forget about this friendship. Do you know what I mean? Like, please make sure you're making time for your friends and stuff.

And just approach it in like a, I understand. Like, I'm not calling you a bad person. And I don't think you're out of order. I'm not angry at you. I just want to make sure that this friendship doesn't get neglected you know I mean so you didn't really just want to sit back and be like all right see you then you bitch fuck off then if you don't want anything to do with me do you know what I mean so yeah I would approach it just gently and also don't take it personally because it happens and it's it's so common I guarantee there's loads of us listening right now that like yeah I can name a few do you know what I mean and we've probably

done it ourselves that's the thing um okay next one is friends that copy you now I find this a bit odd because I remember that being a thing when I was like in school like when I was a teenager it was like oh my god she's copying my school trousers do you know what I mean but at my age now I'm just a bit like we literally all copy each other like me and my friend zoe every time we meet up with each other we literally always have the same fucking outfit on by accident it's always like brilliant not us dressing the same or like if she's got something or if i've got something i'm like where'd you get that from because i'm definitely buying that and it's it's not i'm not copying you well i mean i

am but does not mean i'm trying to be you just means I'm appreciating your style or your choices and love it we have the same interests and we follow the same trends because like you copied someone else do you know what I mean like in this day and age not not many people are dressing on them by themselves like you're seeing it that's why we have influencers now everyone's been influenced by other people so it's like if your friend's got like a new skirt i don't see anything wrong with being like where'd you get your skirt from i want to get that what size did you get do you mean there's nothing wrong with that personally in my opinion i know a lot of people really it does get on your nerves but i don't mind it and also when it comes to like career and stuff like say one of my friends

started a podcast I'm not gonna be like um that's my thing you bitch I'm gonna be like all the best do you want to be a guest on mine maybe we can tell people about it like other people's success does not what's the word like damage yours or make yours any less does that make sense so I don't know maybe just try and flip the way you're thinking about it there's absolutely nothing wrong with your friend appreciating and like you're saying copying but like I don't know I don't think it's a bad thing it personally doesn't annoy me but I know it does annoy people um but yeah it does annoy me it really doesn't so I don't really know what else to say about that because it's gonna happen I think at the end of the day isn't it I copy people my friends copy me and I copy them and we share things like me and my

friends we share wardrobes we share everything we share the same brain cells a lot of the time we don't have many between us but that's okay so yeah I don't know about that one what do you guys think um what are your friendship red flags okay tricky because i've always thought you know when people like oh yeah just really can't hold down friendships or like i've really been unlucky in friendships i've always felt like oh my god red flag like there's something wrong with you do you mean you're obviously not a very good friend but i'm also one of them girls sometimes i do have friends like i'd say i have like three people that I can ring up in the middle of the night and would be there for me which is a lot I would say um and I feel very lucky and

grateful to have that and I did not have that a couple of years ago um but my friendship red flags it's tricky because there there have been situations where I've met someone and they've been like you know I really struggled to hold down friendships and then I get really close with them and then six months later I'm a bit like I kind of see why but I don't think it's always a red flag because I was someone that like I just didn't gel with anyone at uni I really didn't I had one girl that I really got on with um and then another girl that I got really close with but then we don't talk anymore like we just I don't think we ever will and then the other girl like we talk every now and then but like we're not best friends

anymore um and then after that and I didn't have any my friends from school apart from one of them but even her we didn't see each other for years because we went to separate unis I mean we're very close now but I was that friend that was like yeah I don't really have many friends like I just don't really gel with people very well and I always felt like girls never really liked me and stuff like girls never really was like warm to me like they was just always a bit very cold with me um and I always just felt like there was really something wrong with me but as I've gotten older I'm just a bit like I'm just not one of those people that wants to go out a lot and I'm not someone that wants to make little small talk with friends and be like hey what you up to like I just really don't have it in me and it is just a fact that there are a few people that I meet that

I'm like we are so similar like I think a lot of people because I think I swear a lot and I talk about dick and balls and sex and like I've no like boundaries and no filter a lot of people that's a bit much for people which I actually totally get but I think because of that it is actually one of the reasons that I haven't had loads and loads of friends in my life because I don't meet many people that are really like me and one thing I do love since starting this podcast is I get so many dms from you lot being like we are literally the same person and I love that because it makes me realize that I'm not actually just this fucking freak that just can't make friends with anyone like there are actually other people out there that are similar to me but I do think it's hard

to it's hard to like sometimes and as I got older I just accepted that and I was like I'm actually okay with that so I no longer think that's a red flag I just think um a red flag I really don't know maybe oh I know if they bitch about everyone like if they talk shit about other girls or their other people that they call their friends I'm a bit like well you obviously just run off and talk shit about me don't you like if I'm friends with someone and then she's like oh my god my friend molly she's so fucking annoying she keeps texting me about her boyfriend is so annoying i literally don't care i'll be like you're a bitch like you're not a good friend like that is not your friend so that's a red flag other than that um i don't really know to be honest i think that is really it oh when they get jealous when they're like um I didn't know you're hanging out with Jess this weekend you didn't tell me you're going out

with Jess this weekend I'm like why would I have to tell you that why did you feel like I needed to disclose that information to you so yeah that's my second red flag when they bitch about people and when they're jealous and I've just thought of another major one when they're in competition with you so like when you are successful in something it makes it annoys them and they're like brilliant or like for example I had friends where when my podcast started doing really well or my social media in general they started getting a bit funny about it getting a bit bitchy oh what you don't like it that I'm being successful i thought you were my friend doesn't make any sense so those people but then i think that comes from a place of insecurity

but again i do think that makes a bad friend so i would consider that a red flag yeah because yeah yeah just support me support your friends support their successes even if they're 10 times bigger than yours and and 10 years earlier than than you you still can you can still get there just be happy that your friends are as well just because she's before you do you know what i mean doesn't matter everyone just go everyone takes your friend saying i love you and i'm proud of you right now okay next one how hard friendship breakups are mine was harder than with my ex-boyfriend okay 100 and this kind of goes back to my point of being like when shit hits the fan in relationships in your family life in your work life in your personal life your friends

are the ones that pick up the pieces and are there for you every time so when you go through what we're calling like a friendship breakup you feel so lonely like it is so lonely when you go for a breakup with a guy or girl you've got your best friend like your best friend will pick up pieces will literally drag you through it by your hair so when you don't have that person in your life you're like who the fuck have i got who's actually gonna get me through it you might have a relationship you might have family and stuff but your friend has such a special role like your friend knows everything about you that your your mum might not know or your sister might not know or your boyfriend might not know and you have that special bond in terms of like they're

there for you you also usually have the best laughs with them you you feel yourself with them you have memories with them so when you lose that person it can feel literally like the biggest hole and I went through a friendship breakup a year ago I'd say and it was awful like it was genuinely awful I felt so lonely and I took it very personally as well I was like I get it in a relationship because you're like we just don't want to be together anymore and like I can get my head around that but I could not get my head around like why don't you want to be friends with me anymore do you know what I mean so it's because I loved her so much but amazing thing is we're friends again now so that's an amazing thing and actually came from my relationship breakup

because I was talking about it and she sent me a message like just want to let you know I'm really proud of you blah blah blah and I was like oh my god you do love me and it was just so nice because it was like when push comes to shove do you know what I mean even though it's been however many months I'm proud of you I care about you I want you to be happy and now we're friends again and it's so nice and it was just like a weird little period of of life where we just like lost touch and it got complicated so I will say if you're going for a friendship breakup right now it's not always permanent you know similar similarly to relationships like you can get back together but it's also more likely I think with friendships because it's like with a relationship you have one partner so if you're gonna get back together you're gonna be with that one person typically

anyway but with friendships you have several friendships so it's so much more likely that you can rekindle that so yeah be positive and also if this is your sign if you if you feel like you you're going through a friendship breakup and you really, really, really, really want that person back in your life, this is your sign to reach out and just send them a message to say, just so you know, I still really love you. I still really care about you. I'm so proud of everything you're achieving.

Blah, blah, blah. Just a little nod. You don't have to be like, can we meet up and talk? Like just a little, I still care about you. Do you know what I mean? This is your sign. If it feels right in your gut to do that, do it. Okay, next one. What are your three key qualities you look for in a best friend so number one what I look for in a best friend is someone that genuinely cares about

me as a human being because I've had this is I always say there's a difference between like friends and mates right I think mates is like you go out together you have a really good time you have such a laugh together you're really good company you can trust each other but a friend is like we have love for each other like you i consider you part of my family like i have love for you as a human being your pain is my pain do you know what i mean i will come around your house at three o'clock in the morning if you're on the floor going for a breakup or whatever's going on in your life I'm there do you know what I mean that's a friend so my number one is that like you will care for me you will be there for me like if I'm in pain if I'm going through something it hurts you you want

to be there for me and obviously vice versa so that's number one for me because I think that's what makes a friendship so strong. Second one is like, I can really laugh with you and have a good time because when you're really struggling, your friend's the person that you want to come around and you just feel lighter and you just can really feel happy again, even if it's literally 10 minutes and just really enjoy yourself, feel like yourself again. You know, like when I was in my last relationship, there was times where it was, it was so bad. And I'd go around my friend Hannah's house, knock on her door and she'd literally open a bottle of wine and I would have such a good time there, even though what I was going through was so difficult that I would go, do you know what? I'm strong enough to get through

this and I'm going to be all right, because I've got you, so that is another thing, if you can have a good time, because obviously having fun with your friends is number one, but it also just makes life, makes you stronger in life, I think, and third, I think someone that is mature, like maturity, like if there's an issue, if I've said something that's annoyed you, just tell me. You can literally bite my head off and be like, all right, Leah, you fucking bitch. Rather than just fucking ghost me for days, get really annoyed at me, send me blunt messages, give me anxiety, make me feel like, oh my God, are you annoyed at me? Are

we okay? Like I'm not sending them texts with my friends at 25 years old. Are we okay? I feel like you're annoyed at me. No. If you're annoyed at me, I just want to know me i just want to know about it you know i mean and vice versa if you said something that i thought was a bit shady i'd be like uh rude that was a bit rude you bitch do you know i mean because we love each other and we're going to be fine it's not that deep do you know i mean so yeah those are my key qualities in a friendship everyone have a think about what yours are because i think that's a really good question and then ask yourself if the friends you've got around you tick those boxes. That's an interesting one. Okay, next one. The heartbreak of reaching your 20s and realising you've nothing in common with your school friends. So I think this is very common. I have nothing in common with any of my

friends from school apart from, well actually even the one friend that I'm very close with now from school. We don't even have anything in common. But like I was saying this to my auntie the other day I don't actually believe you need to have things in common with your friends like I have so many friends that we don't even like the same music we don't even like the same fashion like we don't even have anything similar in terms of our interest but we have love and connection and care and we get on so well like my friend Jess from school yeah she is working like a a job in um what's it called actually I better not say that actually it's kind of personal anyway she's working like a good job and she has a two and a half year old son she's got got a house. She's got a long-term relationship.

They're definitely gonna just get married and have more babies. I'm literally 25. I do social media for a living. I'm living in my childhood bedroom in my mom's house. Like we are in totally different stages of life. Like she is so private on social media and I wanna do fucking TikTok for a living.

And we get on like no tomorrow. Like we have the best laughs together I can tell her anything so I really don't think having something in common with your friends is actually that crucial I know that might be a weird thing to say I think having something in common is very separate to whether you actually have a good bond um like my auntie and her best friend was talking about this like they're actually quite different as people but they have such a good time together and they have such a strong bond and relationship that's literally unbreakable i don't think having things in common and having common interest is actually that important as long as you have the we just fucking get on do you know what i mean like

you can be totally opposites with someone and really get on with them so um yeah but having said that it's very normal to leave school and drift from your school friends because think about it like this right in school you're put together you're literally you're just put there because you live in the same area and you're the same age and you got into the same school and you've got to get on with someone you've got to find a friendship group with someone and you just become the same people because you're around each other you're around the same things learning about the same things do you know what i mean you're become the same people because you're around each other you're around the same things learning about the same things do you know what I mean you're in the same area you're brought up

the same brought up the same not brought up brought up the same and therefore you just kind of become the same people and then when you leave school you go off into other other areas of your life go to college go to sixth form whatever you do get an apprenticeship whatever it is whatever path you go down and then you become that person and then you become that person and then you figure out who you are and who you want to be and that's not going to be the same like you're not all going to figure out you're going to be the same people and have the same interests and want to do the same things and live in the same areas like it's not going to happen like you're put together when you're teenagers and and then you grow up, you figure out who you are when you turn, when you become adults,

and you're not all going to figure yourselves out to be the same people, and that's absolutely fine and natural. So, I don't think it should feel so heartbreaking. Obviously, it's so sad because you're like, you obviously had this incredible bond with people through school, but then it's also okay to just have that and be like, is my childhood like best mate and i'll always love and care about them but we're just not as close anymore and then you'll have new friendships that you have to share in the next area of your life do you know what i mean so yeah maybe just think about it like that and i think it's totally natural like it's just inevitably going to happen a lot of the time but having said that a lot of people leave school and they will be

best best best friends with their childhood teenage besties for the rest of their lives do you know what I mean and that's amazing as well so don't worry about it great advice just don't just don't worry about it okay thanks Leah um what to do when your friends seem to prioritize everything and everyone over you that's not your friend first of all um and i think you can approach it like you can say like i feel at the bottom of your priorities list at the moment and it's kind of fucking shit because i thought we were friends but um on another note in my opinion that's not your friend like people who love you and are a genuine friend to you they're not going to make you feel like that however life is busy like life is difficult life is full of complications

and inevitably you're gonna go down on people's priority list at certain times so if it's just like a little period of life where you know maybe they've got something going on maybe there's other areas of their life that require more of their attention at the moment that's fine as well and I think it is important that we just sit back and go do you know what you've got shit you're dealing with right now I'm always here for you you know what I mean and you can't really be at the top of people's priority list all the time and that's not what you're saying at all but you said like you said everyone and everything over you so if they're doing that all the time that's just shit that's just not your friend but if it's just a little period i think it's okay like just be patient the friendship will like survive um and just have a little chat about it i think

how can you make friends in your 20s i feel so lonely any suggestions okay this is one million percent so relatable to so many of us listening right now your 20s can be a very fucking lonely time right because i think about it like this when you're a teenager you're surrounded by people every day you're at school you have you have no choice but to be surrounded by your friends every day you put there it's literally the law to be there and then after that you're just thrown out into the world bye have fun good time have a good time good luck welcome to the real world it sucks you're gonna love it who's that monica from friends that's the first ever episode isn't it anyway anyway anyway so i think it's really normal to feel like this because when you're in your 20s, it's just like, you're just out there in

the world alone. And then when you get to like your 30s or 40s, most of the time, you've hopefully spent your 20s figuring out what you want to do, where you want to be, you know, this isn't the same for everyone. And then during your later years, like 30s, 40s, 50s, whatever, you're doing that. If you want children, you'll have your children and stuff like that. And then you've got your purpose, you've got your routine, you've got your life in structure. And do you know what I mean? Your 20s is the period where we're all just looking at each other like, has anyone got any fucking idea what they're doing because i don't any anyone got any fucking clue how i'm supposed to do this because i don't know what to do so it is a lonely time and it is a time where a lot of us don't really have friends

and it's it's shit especially because in school you meet friends there in uni you meet friends there and then after that where you're meant to make friends with people and when i left uni i like i said i didn't carry my friendships i didn't really have any strong friendships i didn't feel like any of the girls that really loved me and that's fine i didn't really love any of them either so when i left i was very lonely and i was just like i don't have any solid friendships and i remember people used to tell me you're gonna make friends for life at uni you're gonna make friends for life and then when i left i was you're going to make friends for life at uni. You can make friends for life. And then when I left, I was like, I don't have friends for life. And I was just like, I never will now. Like that was my chance to make friends for life. And I never will now.

But my friend, Jess from secondary school, she, I've maintained a friendship with her, but we lost touch for years for the same reasons. She went off to another uni. We literally didn't keep in touch. And then we came back into touch literally in like recent in recent years and then I made another friend because I just did a show and she was there on the audition date and we just clicked and then we've stayed best friends for like four years now and then oh no three years and then I met another friend who literally just messaged me on Instagram, I don't even remember what she said, and we just literally clicked, we literally just clicked, so I think it is so hard, especially for me, when I say I find it so hard to just click with people, I find friendships so

forced, and it feels so unnatural to me to try and make friends, it is the weirdest feeling for me, and it makes me sound like a little freak, and it makes me sound like a little freak and it makes me sound like a horrible person but I promise I'm a really nice person I promise I actually have a really good heart but for some reason I just really have genuinely and this is just me being honest I really do find it hard to click with people so I totally get it I did go on bumble bff for a while but it didn't personally work for me but I know it did work for a lot of girls if you're the kind of person that you can just literally make conversation with anyone and just really enjoy chatting and getting to know new people i think that's a really good option but otherwise i think hobbies like um gym classes um like for me i did a show like a musical

and that's how i made one of my best friends so i think anything that you love you're going to meet people that have that in common with you and that's unreal do you know what I mean like that is perfect you have something majorly in common you already have something that you can talk about um and other than that social media is an amazing thing it really is it really can build friendships and I think don't give up on the idea of friendships like I two three years ago I was literally so lonely I had no fucking solid friendships around and now I've got really solid friendships that I genuinely genuinely value so and and these people were I rate them so highly and I didn't have that like three years ago so I just think it's okay like if you're in

if you're in that position now don't don't stress about it like you will honestly meet people in your life that will make you feel whole and complete like you genuinely will um but yeah there's just a few ideas how to do it um what do I do when I hate my best friend's boyfriend me and my bestie live together so it's awkward that is fucking awkward I can't lie um I don't think you can really do anything really because it's like they're together then then you can't break them up do you mean I think if that was me I would just do what I can to keep the peace I know I've been in relationships and my friends really didn't like my boyfriend and they you know they didn't distance themselves from him they they didn't make it known to me I knew just because he wasn't very nice to me and they'd hear about it all the time and they knew about it but they never made me feel like it was an issue

they was just there for me every single time whenever shit hit the fan it was like yeah okay and do you know what as well what what I really will say is don't be the friend that say your friend comes to you and she's like, oh my God, like this happened again. And I was crying to him last night and he literally just said to me, can you just shut up? Don't be that friend that goes, oh my God, you need to walk away. That is fucking horrible because they know, like they actually know that what a friend needs in that situation is just like okay okay well think about what you deserve do you know what I mean like this you deserve so much better than that

so one thing for me is if you really don't like her boyfriend for whatever reason is just be her friend you like you don't have to be like anti him you don't have to be a hater just be her friend and just be there no matter what goes on um obviously it's difficult but i think just be a friend and don't make her life difficult if you can um and keep the peace if you can because at the end of the day don't let it stress you out it's not your boyfriend it's not it's not your um your stress like you don't need to take that to sleep with you every night just literally be her friend and that is like the best thing you can do for a friend okay friendship groups are free do you think they work i do if it is a genuine genuine genuine

balance like all three of you are equal it's not like there's two best friends and then our other mate like if it's genuinely like it's the fucking three of us till we die then yeah I do think it works and I think there's probably loads of scenarios out there where that does exist um personally I've never had it but I do think it can work I like I said I just think it is situational if they're I think it's more common that there's usually a pair that are closer but I do think it can work I do think a successful trio friendship exists yeah um let's have a look is it okay for friendships to end 100% 100% this is another thing as well it's like back to the whole like school friendships and and uni friends drifting apart and stuff it's okay if those people were only in your life for

those few years because they brought you so much you have amazing memories they got you through some difficult times and they will always have that in your heart and it's okay if you decide and that's that's our story do you know i mean like that is the end of our friendship maybe one day we might rekindle it but it is okay for friendships to end especially if it gets toxic or if you think it's it's it's not good um okay being in a big girlfriend group i fell out with one girl and she turned everyone against me okay what the fuck this is honestly teenager behavior from that girl that is bullying to the max this is what i used to experience in secondary school when there was this one girl that like ran the friendship group and when one of us was on the bad side of this girl no one could talk to her it was like no one

talked to leah today if any of you talk to leah today i'm not your friend anymore and everyone's like oh my god i'm not talking to leah and everyone's like, oh my God, I'm not talking to Leah. And it's the most toxic fucking shit. And I'm telling you now, get yourself out of that friendship group because if those friends all turned against you because of that one girl, they're not your friends either.

They are not your friends. They are bitches and they are weak, okay? They need to be strong enough to be like, look, you might have a problem with, I don't know, this isn't your name, I'm giving a be like look you might have a problem with i don't know this isn't your name i'm giving a fake name you might have a problem with lauren but i fucking don't so don't drag me into this lauren's done nothing wrong to me you two need to sort that shit out we're adults sort out apologize rather than yeah no you're right i don't like her either piss off like what kind of friend are you um friends who subconsciously have to be better than

you everything is a competition yeah back to what we talked about at the beginning I have experienced this and it's so draining and you know what you know as well they think you don't know but you know it's so obvious and do you know what as well remember those friends where you'd get dressed up together like say you're going out and you'd be like oh which outfit a or b and you know a is a better outfit and they go definitely b definitely b you look so nice in b bitch i look shit in b a is so much better you want me to look shit so you look better than me except for it's a competition we've all had those friends right please tell me we all have because i definitely have i would never be that fucking friend i'm telling you now um yeah they have to be better than you everything

is competition they exist and it's shit and i'm just gonna tell you now if you feel like that with your friend you don't have to cut people off this is what i've learned in my life you don't have to go cut you out of my life and black blacking you and reporting you like you would never talk again you don't have to do that i think it's it's also okay to learn i can't really trust you with with things and i can't really rely on you to be there for me but we have a good time so we'll hang out and we'll go and get drunk together because that's what we do best but i will i will be careful with what I expect from this friendship. That's okay as well. But in terms of the competition thing, I never even bother approaching it because they're never going to admit it, are they?

They're never even going to be like, yeah, I am jealous of you. And yeah, I do want you to fail because your success does make me insecure. They're never going to admit that. So personally, I just always think, whatever, hun. Like I'm, you know, I're never going to admit that so personally I just always think whatever hun like I'm you know I'm just going to worry about me you worry about what you're doing I'll worry about what I'm doing I wish you were the best I really do hope you're successful um can boys and girls truly be friends and not want more than just friendship okay I actually spoke about this in my first ever episode of lear on the line so

if you haven't listened to that go and give it a listen because it's controversial it sparks a lot of opinion um and i'm gonna go ahead and i still back it 32 weeks later i don't believe it's very common for a boy and a girl to be best friends i I can say you can be mates. Like I said, there's a difference between mates and friends. I think a boy and a girl can be mates, 100% platonic mates. I have never seen a boy and a girl platonic friendship, friends. We love each other. We care about each other. We hang out, just me and him. We go cinema. He comes on mine. We spend one on one quality time together he's my best best friend i don't believe it's always platonic

i really don't and so many of you when i said this last time were like that is such bullshit i i would never want to sleep with my best friend my boy best friend is my fucking soulmate i honestly just cannot i won't change my change my opinion on it I can't I really don't believe it I've never seen it and when I felt like I was really close with a guy like I got really really close with this guy in a show that I was doing once I was like oh my god he's literally my best friend I spoke to him about everything spoke to him about my breakup like went to him like I would go to my girl best friend and I really thought oh my god it's amazing having a boy best friend because they they give you the boy perspective on everything they're they're brutal

with it they don't like get all weird and bitchy like they're really just genuine and kind and then one day he just told me he was in love with me and I was like oh I really I really thought we was on the same page here but we're just clearly not and well he wasn't I'm in love with you but he was like he basically told me he really likes me and i was like oh and he said he thought it was really obvious and he was like everyone knows and i was like what i really thought we were good friends so that was one occasion and another occasion same thing happened like we got really really close i was like oh my god i love being friends with you like you're such a good friend to me and then he wanted to have sex with me and i was like oh and vice versa there's been an occasion where i've been really good friends

with a guy then you get a bit drunk and you go could i have sex with him do you know what i mean so i think there's always a possibility when you're best friends i'm talking about i do believe you can be friends you can be pals you can be mates like we don't just all fucking fancy each other do we but if you're genuinely telling me you are really really close that is your best friend i'm not having it i know so many of you are literally going to leave me a bad review for that fucking stupid bitch she thinks every boy in the world fancies her no that's not what i'm saying but if i was that close with a guy i just cannot imagine it it's just really strange to me. Like, I cannot imagine it. Not strange as in weird. If you have that with a guy, I think that's very

fucking rare and you should hold on to it. And I think that is an amazing friendship to have. Because being friends with guys is sick because they do just tell you how it is. And you know what? They're always right about your girlfriends as well. Like your boyfriends, don't they always just know best? Like when they meet your girl mates and they're like, she's jealous of you or like yeah not got a good feeling about her they're always right aren't they so like guys have a really good insight so if you do genuinely have that friendship with a guy i'm jealous of you first of all because they are really good friendships but second of all hold on to it because this is just my opinion remember that's all this is this is just a phone call between me and my friends i don't i don't believe you can be best, best, best friends with someone

of the opposite sex. If you're, oh, I should have disclosed this earlier. I'm talking to straight people here, male and female, straight male, female. Okay. Obviously, but just in case anybody didn't figure that out. Okay. Having friends who have babies, remember us, please. 100%. This is so important. So like I said, one of my best friends from school, she has a baby. Well, he's not a baby anymore. She has a toddler. And she always says to me that so many of her friends, like since she had a kid, they just don't bother inviting her because she, they just go, well, you've got, I'm not going to say her baby's name, let's give him a new name, just for the episode, let's call him Billy, you've got Billy, so I didn't, I didn't think you could, you'd want to come, or I didn't think you'd be able to, because you've got Billy,

and she was like, it's so rude, and that is so true, and it blew my mum when she said that to me, and my sister gets it as well, like, people don't invite her, because they're like, well, you've got Billy, do you know what I mean, and I think that i think that's so wrong like what make plans where she can go then make other plans like obviously still do whatever you were originally doing but also make plans with her as well then what she can go and she can bring billy or arrange together oh let's figure out who can have billy for the night so i mean you can do this or while billy's in in nursery for two hours do you want to go for a coffee or can I pop round when you get home from from school with Billy do you know what I mean it's very very common I reckon in young mums for people to just disappear out their lives because they just oh you've got Billy okay yeah I do but I I'm still Jess, okay? Do you know what I mean? So, like, imagine as well, being a young

mum, it can probably feel very lonely and very isolating, and that's where you need your friends, that's, they're the people that are going to make you feel like the person you were before you, before you became a mum, because obviously, I've never had a kid, so I'm just imagining here, but hopefully I will one day Jesus Christ that's a big fear of mine if I can't but anyway we'll cross that bridge and we'll get to it like imagine you have kids you have your first baby you are a whole new human being and you have this whole new life and it must be really scary because I reckon it's so easy to feel like the person you were nine months ago is now dead and doesn't just

no longer exist and now you're just billy's mom so i think the people that make you feel like more than billy's mom are the friends you had before that pregnancy and before that baby before billy came along so i don't know i'm so passionate about this like i've i'm experiencing this personally i don't have any children but it does really bother me because i think i know being a young mom i've seen it in my sister i've seen it in my best friend it's such a lonely scary thing to go through so the people that should really fucking be there for you are your best friends and i see it happen all the time and it's really sad so if your friends have had babies please make sure you you make equal an equal amount of effort jesus okay how far do you defend a friend if you know deep

down they've done something wrong okay this is a good question because it's like i've got your back babes do you know what i mean i've got your back but at the same time let's be good people here like let's not just make really poor decisions in life and just hurt people left right and center and go oh yeah but she's my best friend so she can't do no wrong in my eyes. So yeah, difficult one. Let's give a scenario. Say your best friend cheated on her boyfriend. What are you doing about that? Personally, I'd go, right, okay. How would you like to move forward, first of all? Do you want to tell him? do you want to be with him um i wouldn't just go don't worry about it babe do you mean don't worry about it fuck it i won't tell him

don't i'm telling him don't you tell him i'm not gonna tell him no i think you we have to encourage our friends to be decent people you have to have a good influence on your friends so I mean how far do you defend defend a friend I will defend my friend like if somebody rang me like this has happened to me before I think I've actually told this story my friend rang me once and was like Leah my boyfriend's just been on my phone and saw that I was googling that I'm in love with my boyfriend's best friend please tell him that it was you and I was like oh this fucking bitch it obviously wasn't me but she had me on speaker and I had to be like oh yeah that was me that was me I had a boyfriend at the time as well so thanks could have ruined my bloody relationship anyway I was like yeah that

was me yeah so I will defend my friends in in a emergency situation like you know that classic trend that was going around on tiktok a couple of years ago where they rang their friends and they was like oh jess please tell him that i stayed at yours last night and then jess would go yeah you did why even though i didn't do you know what i mean and jess is automatically thinking oh my god leah has just cheated on her bloody boyfriend that idiot and now she's just got to immediately have my back and it is your friendship instinct to just go yeah yeah you did yeah you did well yeah we had a great time watched friends all night ordered a pizza do you know what

I mean so I would offend my friend like that but then after that call you're coming around my house or I'm coming around yours and you're going to tell me exactly what you've fucking done and we're going to get through it together. Okay, that's my that's where I stand on that one guys. Living with friends can be bad and make you feel like you don't like them as much. Oh, I've always said that I wouldn't like to live with my best friends. I lived with friends at uni and it ruined our fucking friendship. Honestly, it really ruined our friendship. So I would always say don't live

with people that you're already friends with I think it's really nice to have flatmates and have a whole separate friendship they're your flatmates they're your friends but if you've got a friend and then you move in together it can be difficult and personally I don't think I would do it because I really like being able to leave whatever is happening at home and go and see my friend and get away from it so if it was all in one in one space under one roof I don't think that would be very good for my mental health or for the friendship so personally it's something that I would just not like to do it's not something that appeals to me um but I do love living with friends just not friends that I already have do you know what I mean I'd like to move in with some flatmates and they're your flatmates. Do you know what I mean?

And you get on really well, have a really good time. That is your relationship, but yeah, not existing friendships. I don't, I never want to step that boundary. Um, okay, let's finish on this one. Sleeping with the same guy. Um, absolutely not. I would never, ever, ever, guy um absolutely not i would never ever ever ever ever ever ever do that nor would i ever accept my friend doing that i think that's totally unacceptable totally fucking weird first of all like there's seven billion people right and you want the same one as me could is there not anyone else you fancy to have to be the same guy I fancy do you know what I mean so no the answer is no I'm afraid all right I love this episode thank you so much let me know what you want to discuss next Friday maybe we can

just do like a few certain topics every Friday I don't know we're still figuring out the Fridays together aren't we any ideas thrown my way I'm gonna go make some pasta now I'm gonna make prawn pasta I'm really excited I'm quite starving actually I'm starving I'm starving I ate a boat anyway love you guys so much you are the heart of Lear on the Line also fantastic news the visuals are coming back I'm gonna start filming the podcast again I've got some stuff to do it, um, clips will be back on TikTok and Instagram, so make sure you're following Atlea on the line on both platforms, and we will get the videos up and running again, I'm back baby, I'm back, I've recovered, and I'm ready to roll, a life update is needed, for sure, if you guys saw my TikToks from over my birthday, you might have a few questions, so I will definitely do that,

TikToks from over my birthday you might have a few questions so I will definitely do that um and yeah honestly thank you so much to everyone that sent in anything for the podcast ever even if you sent me just a little like even if you sent me even if you just follow the Instagram and you've never sent me a dilemma even if you just hit follow on Spotify even if you just left me a a nice five star rating this is your sign to leave a five star rating if you haven't already um even if you just left me a a nice five star rating this is your sign to leave a five star rating if you haven't already um even if you just turned on notifications like even if you've just listened to this episode this is the first episode you've ever listened to i appreciate you i love you you're amazing this podcast would be nothing without you and yeah i just can't wait to keep this going i have now actually signed with social media management which i'm really excited about so

yeah i'm so excited you guys know how much I love doing this this is literally the highlight of my life you guys are the highlight and yeah I'm so excited for whatever is to come who knows what that will be as you know I'm winging my way through life and if you are too that's fine we'll figure it out together um have the best weekend don't text your ex text me and i will speak to you on tuesday all right i love you