Leah on the Line - Bonus 16: The SELF LOVE episode

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

Hey gorgeous! I am so happy you all wanted an episode on this topic, it's something we ALL struggle with and I hope you found this comforting/helpful in any way. You're all amazing and don't you forget it! I love you so so much. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line happy friday it's friday who's going out this weekend me i, I actually am guys, I'm feeling fucking crazy this weekend, I just feel like I want to loosen up, you know, loosey-goosey this weekend, I'm really looking forward to actually, I'm really looking forward to a beverage, little alcoholic beverage down the hatchet this weekend, I'm honestly ready for it, I haven't had like a really tough week or anything, I'm just in the mood, you know, when you're just in the mood, like I'm'm just gonna fucking I'm just gonna go off the rails this weekend I'm not literally watching me have like three drinks and be like you know what I

think that's okay I think I'm gonna stop there no I'm gonna be fun I'm gonna be I can be fun I can be really fun guys I know you all think I'm really boring don't you I'm actually I feel like I'm really good company on a night out like I feel like if i'm out that means i've made the decision because i want to be there whereas like i'm not the kind of person to go out and then ruin the night because i don't really want to be there do you know what i mean like if i'm out i'm up for it so we'll have a good time also i always say this i really want to go on like a big lear on the line night out how fun would that be like just hire out like like a girly cocktail like a tonight josephine vibe and just hire out the venue and just like bring all of you girls down and we can all meet and have like the best

time and all get really drunk and just make loads of drunk tiktoks and stuff like wouldn't that be so much fun anyway happy friday how are you today we are doing another the blank episode and this week i am bringing you the self-love episode. Doesn't that sound lovely? It sounds like, I feel like it's going to be a bit of an emotional roller coaster, a bit of a deep one. Hopefully we shed no tears this week. But I also have a new idea. I really want to do the date and episode. One of you guys actually sent me this idea so shout out to you baby but you said um the dating episode is a really good idea and we could do um like worse date stories I thought um and what did you say oh you said like um dating profiles and stuff I thought it'd be really fun to like

you guys send me your dating profiles and I like give feedback because I'm such an expert you know I'm such a dating expert um but I thought it'd be so much fun and then we could do like um dealing with rejection and stuff obviously I don't have much experience I actually have dealt with a fair bit of rejection in my life haven't we all though babe do you know what I mean so I feel like that'd be such a good episode so shout out to the babe that came up that idea let me know if you guys want that because I think that's probably going to come next Friday I put it on my Instagram story saying do you want the self-love episode or do you want the dating episode and it was literally this one by like

two percent like it was like 48 52 is that the correct math here something like that um and then I put up a little poll because I was really curious how much of you guys, how much of my listeners are actually single. And I think at the moment, let me have a little check. Sorry, my mic cut out then. I'm so sorry. Apologies. But yeah, the poll is 67% of you at the moment are in a relationship, which is really interesting because I imagined a lot of you, I did imagine it to be most of you in a relationship, but I imagined it to be a little bit more close to 50-50. But I put, are you in a relationship? Are you single? Or are you like seeing someone? And literally it was like 1% of you said you're seeing someone. So you're either with someone in a relationship or married, or you're single Pringles. So isn't that so much

fun? So I feel like the single people will really, really enjoy the date and episode. But then I feel like if you're in a relationship then you'll still enjoy it anyway because it will just have such a laugh together to me and like you guys can tell me your worst date stories I feel like it'll be really fun so let's do that next week get your ideas come in my way for that one get your worst date horror stories sent in to my email or on insta dm whatever you prefer at leah on the line on all platforms okay but this week is the self-love episode so i wasn't really sure where we was going to go with this one because listen i'm a 25 year old girl you think i've mastered self-love no absolutely positively not i have a lot to learn and i'm hoping you guys are going to help me as well because it's something i've always really really struggled with like especially my body like when I was a teenager

all my friends were like so petite and just like so tiny tiny and just cute and small and like I've always been small like I've always been reasonably small but for some reason I don't know if I had like body dysmorphia or even still a form of it now because like one day I'll think I look absolutely fucking gorge and the next day I'll be like you are disgusting and like how is that possible do you know what I mean so yeah but then like when I was a teenager it was so bad like I remember before I'd even hit puberty I was like doing workout dvds like it was this is not normal so yeah it's something I've always struggled with my whole life

and I really want to get into that but I'm going to put a little trigger warning just in case because um I don't want to trigger anyone and I know it can be a really sensitive topic especially when we talk about body image and stuff so I'm going to put a trigger warning um I am going to be very careful with what I do touch on because obviously I don't want to touch on things I have no knowledge to talk about you know or like no right to talk about if I don't have much experience in that area and stuff so yeah I just wanted to let you guys know anyway that we are going to touch on some not sensitive topics but it might be triggering for someone if you if it is a real real struggle for you you might not really enjoy this episode but if it's something that you're you know confidence and like self-love that you're really trying to ace then hopefully we can all go

on this little journey together and share each other's tips and advice you guys know I'm always on TikTok looking up like I'm always watching like the really deep fucking shit of like people on podcasts with like really emotional things in the background I'm actually going to try and get some clips myself so um go and go and boost them over on my tiktok actually everyone leave an emoji of um what emoji should we do like what's like a cute I know a pink heart for the leah on the line and the heart for love and a little telephone emoji then I know that you guys are listening so go over to the clips from this podcast I'm actually wearing a little black crop top and blue jeans so you can spot me, you know. But yeah, I really

just want to spread some positive energy, positive vibes, the love, the love is in the air, you know. I really just want to encourage all of us, including myself, to be a bit kinder to ourselves and like give yourself some fucking credit, you know? So, as always, I put up an Instagram story and I was like, what should we touch on? By the way, I'm really ill at the moment. Shock, I'm always fucking ill. So my voice is like kind of shit right now. So apologies if I don't sound totally like myself., but oh my God, what happened there? Jesus. But, but anyway, carrying on,

I put up an Instagram story and I was like, send in whatever topics, questions, any amazing advice that you've received in your life, any advice that you have for the listeners that you think is going to be really helpful and yeah a very common one was actually about losing yourself in a relationship which oh my god can I relate like losing yourself in a relationship is so common and really really hard like let me tell you I don't know why we do it but we we tend to just give 100% of ourselves just completely sacrifice ourselves as human beings and give it to a relationship and like let's stop doing that like let's agree that we're all just not going to do that anymore because it's just not good for us is it so I was having a little think about it. And I definitely

have made that mistake. And it's something I'm so conscious of, conscious of in my new relationship. Like I don't, I really don't want to lose myself. I want to always have Leah, because at the end of the day, that's all you're going to have. No matter what happens, the only person that is guaranteed to be there with you is you so you have to protect that person you have to love that person and maintain your individuality because that is who you are and it's who is it's all you're ever going to have so don't neglect it don't sacrifice it for a relationship um you know i'm learning from previous mistakes that is a big thing i think that is one thing i really want to encourage like learn from your mistakes if you know i I'm learning from previous mistakes. That is a big thing. I think that is one thing I really want to encourage, like learn from your mistakes. If, you know, I've been in a relationship

where I've just been so consumed. Um, and basically I gave all of me to the relationship, um, their needs and their wants. I wanted to satisfy them. and then like when they're not around you're just counting down the days till they're around again and like think about that like actually think about that that is no way to live your life and that is not a way that you deserve to live your life do you guys know what I mean by that so like don't give all of you because what happens if the relationship fails or the relationship suffers you cannot get consumed by what your partner wants or needs from you because what happens if that doesn't work out what do you have then and also like before that person came into your life what did you do with all your time and where did you give all your love you gave it to yourself

so I just think you know you used to invest in yourself and then you have this relationship and you invest in them and it's like that the cake theory right I don't remember it properly but it's something like think about cutting a piece of cake a cake right into different slices and it's like you're gonna cut a big old slice for your boyfriend or girlfriend. And then you're going to cut a little slice for your career. Probably a little one because boyfriend or girlfriend's got a massive, got most of the cake. And then maybe a little slice for, I don't know, friends and family. Right.

And then if you think about it, there's no cake left because boyfriend or girlfriend's got so much of that cake. What do you get? Where's your cake? You know? And what happens when they eat all that cake? You're hungry. You ain't got no cake. Do you know what I mean? This doesn't make any sense. This literally is the most useless theory I've ever tried to explain. Basically what I'm saying is what about you that's what I'm trying to say so I think make sure if you're in a relationship and you've and you're afraid of losing yourself like maybe you've just come out of a relationship and you're afraid to go into another relationship because you think that comes with losing yourself again it doesn't

have to and if you're in a relationship where you've already lost yourself that is that is reversible you can undo that and you can find yourself again. And I think it's so important to maintain individuality. Keep up your hobbies. Maintain relationships with all the people that were there before that relationship. Because that's what's going to keep you back to the person you were before. You know, like you can commit yourself and give yourself to your partner as you should. Without having to lose all of you and everything you were before that person

do you know what i mean does that make sense guys um okay let's move on the next one is um how to stop comparing yourself to other people on social media okay this is major like comparing yourself on social media i think we all do it like i feel like we all fall what's oh what's that saying we all fall victim to it like that doesn't sound right oh my fucking god that reminds me guys you know the other week i was going what's that saying um there's no fuel without fire there's no fire without fuel and i was like that doesn't make any sense because there is fuel without fire and there is fire without fuel it doesn't make any sense my auntie none of you guys my auntie messaged me and was like it's smoke without fire you fucking idiot and I was like oh my god none of you even told me

none of you were like earlier babe you idiot it's smoke not fuel so thanks for having my back but anyway back to comparing yourself so I think the main important thing is you know you're comparing your real life real life all your struggles your mental health and and the difficult days all your stress and tiredness and exhaustion, all of that, your real life, you're comparing that to a highlight reel of all the best times in someone's life. So you're comparing your real life to someone's best moments. And that doesn't make any fucking sense. It makes no sense. Like when you put it like that, why do we do it? Like, why do we actually do that? Like, why am I looking at someone being like, Oh my God, like she lives in LA now like she's amazing like she's she's like i don't know she's just moved to new york that is she just bought a house in new york or she's got a loft apartment

in new york i'm so jealous oh my god she's she's just literally got married on the beach like this is what about me okay you know like that is the best that is the best moments that's going on in their life and they're also having all the terrible moments that you're having as well but they're not going to take a selfie do you know what I mean not gonna be like crying in my bed today but I mean they might and a lot of people do which I like I definitely do on my TikTok I make some TikToks because like I don't want to be someone that people look at and they're like, oh, I feel like shit. Like I want people to look at me and be like, oh, okay, well, I feel okay with how I feel today because Leah feels the same or, you know, Leah felt like this

a week ago. So, you know, I make my videos where I make my morning coffee and I'm like, hi guys, didn't get any sleep last night because I'm depressed, you know, because like we all go through those times and I want people to look at me and understand that it is so okay and it's so normal but you know understandably not a lot of people do that and that's absolutely fine you're not expected to show all of you on social media and it's healthy that you don't it's healthy that you keep some parts to yourself but obviously as a result of that we just see all the most incredible moments of your life and then I feel like your life's this amazing reel of highlights and mine's all the stress and tiredness that I'm experiencing currently but the thing is like you could wake up one day and be like oh my god my

skin is looking gorge my skin is so clear right now it fucking ain't let me tell you I think I'm due my period but yeah I could let's pretend I've woken up saying I'm like my skin is so clear right now it fucking ain't let me tell you i think i'm due my period but yeah i could let's pretend i've woken up saying i'm like my skin is absolutely glowing my skincare routine is really paying off or all that water i've been drinking on purpose to clear up my skin it has really worked and i feel gorge today i feel gorgeous i'm feeling gorgeous right now i feel like a slag like a gorgeous slag anyway yeah so i'm feeling gorge my skin's clear i'm feeling gorge i opened tiktok someone's just got engaged i'm like right well no one wants to marry me no one's no one's proposing to me i've you know you could go i've i'm not in a relationship where they're getting down on one knee why isn't my boyfriend getting down on one knee do you mean

and then all of a sudden your your clear skin is fucking irrelevant because it ain't good enough do you mean because you're not her getting engaged i'm not her so fuck my clear skin do you mean so or you could wake up and go do you know what you can look in the mirror do you know what my body is looking stunned all that hard work i've been eating clean i've been making sure that I'm fueling my body with goodness and I feel great. I've been drinking loads of water, getting loads of vitamins and I'm glowing. I look great. I'm in great shape or like all this work I've been putting into my health. It's really paying off. I'm looking gorge. Then you open Instagram. Someone's like got the keys to the new house. And then suddenly you

remember that you've been scraping by with your rent every month and you feel like shit. And all of a sudden your amazing, gorgeous, healthy body doesn't feel good enough anymore. Do you know what I mean? So like when you actually process that, it's actually fucked. And you have to remember that Instagram isn't someone's reality. Like it's not their whole real life and angles filters lighting like you if you think I'm taking Instagrams from my bad angles I am not honey if you think I'm taking an Instagram where you can see the actual size of my nostrils and let me tell you we all know everyone ticked up they're huge I'm not putting that my Instagram because I don't want to look at it because it makes me feel low I'm not because I'm trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not I just like my best angles the best do you know what I mean because they are my best angles

but then you don't get to see me from the back where my bum looks weird or my my curves are just non-existent because I'm not taking photos from that angle do you know what i mean so it's like you have to understand people are only showing you the best parts themselves as we do naturally do you know what i mean like somebody said oh smile for a photo you're not just gonna like put your head into in your neck and give yourself chins because that's not how you like yourself you're gonna go cheese looking gorge because we want to look our best in a photograph and then photograph what am i 90 and then we're going to put that on social media because that is our best photo we're going to scroll through the 90 that we took and we're going to pick our best photo it's it's it's you

know it's normal to do that but that's what you have to remember that's what you have to remember and also like i could post a picture and someone could go, oh, this sounds really vain, but I'm just giving myself as an example. People could go, oh, Leah looks really nice there. Wow, Leah is absolutely beautiful, stunning, gorgeous. But I could look at it. I could have taken a thousand photos and be like, I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

I hate myself. But I've got, hate myself but I've got you know I've got one good ish photo that I'm okay with and have probably airbrushed the spot off my cheek all right yeah sometimes I blur out my spots okay so it's like that I think when you compare yourself take a moment and say do you what? What's going on in my life is also amazing. And where I'm at in my life, I'm so proud of. What's that thing where it's like, oh, if you're 26 and you're not married and haven't found anyone to have children with yet, obviously, if that's what you want, don't worry, you're only in like season two, Monica, friends.

Do you know what I mean? I don't know the specific wording of that, but something like that. moniker friends do you know what I mean I don't know the specific wording of that but something like that so I think that's a really important thing to remember and also a key thing very obvious mute and unfollow people that don't inspire you or make you feel low because there is no shame in that you know if they're like a friend from school then maybe just give them the mute you know we don't we don't need to start now beef what happened to the word beef people don't say that no more what do they say now what's the new word for beef like what do the all the cool kids say i don't know i don't know okay um next one someone says how to deal with being the only friend who's never had a boyfriend so this is a major passionate topic for me because I really genuinely don't understand. Women are raised and made to

believe and taught from the ages of like sometimes very young. It's like, do you have a boyfriend? When you're like eight, it's like you got a boyfriend in school. No, I don't have a fucking boyfriend. No, I don't have a fucking boyfriend. You fucking weirdo. Do you know what I mean? And then as a teenager, it's like you know what i mean and then as a teenager it's like you got boyfriends and then in your 20s it's like you got boyfriends you haven't seen a family member in a while and it's like oh hi how's things got boyfriend you got boyfriend like what what the fuck no have you have you got a boyfriend 70 year old divorced margaret you got boyfriend marks do you mean what's it got to do with you and also why are we made to believe that we are as women we're just supposed to find someone like

that's our purpose you've got to find someone that wants you do you mean find some find a man or a woman whatever your sexual orientation is you've got to find someone that wants you do you mean and it's like okay but what if I don't want no one? What if I just want to live my life for myself for as long as I can? Do you know what I mean? What if I want to make my 20s about discovering who I am as a young woman? What if I don't want to be in a relationship? And first of all, that's like, what?

That's unusual. That's unusual. Don't even get me started on the don't want kids thing because fuck me people like if you if you're like 30s 40s above and don't have children people will just assume that you can't do i mean rather than you just didn't want them that annoys me but we'll get into that another day that's not about self-love is it i mean it kind of is you know uh whatever i'll get off on one I'll get off on a tangent but it's like um you know we're made to believe that if we haven't found someone if we haven't found someone it means no one wants us

and it's like I want myself I want myself that I'm okay with just that actually, like that's okay with me. Um, you know, I love myself. My life's for me. Um, I just don't get it. I find it really bizarre. So I think to this girl who, you know, you're the only person in your friendship group about a boyfriend. First of all, what everyone else is doing is so irrelevant to what you're doing. It means nothing. Do you know what I mean? Whatever everyone else is doing is their business. what you're doing it means nothing do you know what i mean whatever everyone else is doing is their business it's their life it's their choice if you aren't in a relationship that is absolutely okay like you are allowed to be a young girl and not have a relationship you're allowed to be a young girl and not be dating or seeing someone or in a relationship with someone and not be like oh god no one wants her no one wants her she can't find anyone i don't want no one i'm all right actually i don't need anyone i'm quite happy

it's funny because it's like everyone else has got the problem but i'm all right i don't want a fucking boyfriend i'm not missing out do you know you know what I mean? There's not like this big hole, big gap in my life. Do you know what I mean? That makes no sense to me. There's this big hole in my life that I just need someone to come and fill. There is no hole, okay? If I want a relationship, it's because they're going to add to my life, not piece me together. Thank God I finally found someone that wants to be with me. it off i mean all right next one someone says start appreciating the biological functions that your body amazingly does every day i honestly think about this all the time like you guys know i have this fear of death

right and when i'm really kicking myself like when i'm looking at my body and i'm like oh you're disgusting you disgust me or i hate myself i hate myself I hate myself I look in the mirror or I look down and I think my little heart is beating away right now to keep me alive literally beating away just to keep me alive and I do not appreciate that enough I am so lucky that my body, I'm too scared to say this. I'm looking for some wood to touch. Is this chair wooden? That feels like wood, but I'm not going to risk it. Basically, you know, I feel very lucky that my body, yeah, you guys know what I'm saying. And it's like, you, you kick yourself and you're like oh my god i've got spots on my face my heart is beating for my ability to be alive right now that's the thing he said you know

and like how much more important is that do you know i mean people are people are complaining i'm complaining oh my god i've got spots i've got spots people would do anything for that to be their only problem with their body what it looks like you know like how lucky are we that it just fucking works oh touch word shit shit shit shit one second guys okay but you know what i mean Like when you actually think about that, when you take a step back and you think about that, suddenly it matters so much less, you know? So if that helps for you, it definitely helps me. Just remind yourself of that every now and then for sure. Next one. Okay, this is an interesting one. This lovely girl says, how to control low self-esteem. Every time I speak to someone, I worry they will hate me. So this is quite an interesting one. I feel like I do touch on this

every now and then. But okay, first of all, we need to ask yourself, why does that matter if they did for some reason hate you? I feel like if someone hates me, I'm like, why are you so passionate about me? Why are you so passionate? Jesus, babe, a bit passionate. Do you know what I mean? Like when I was getting these hateful DMs the other day why so passionate Jesus babe a bit passionate do you know what I mean like when I was getting these hateful dms the other day part of me was a bit like she actually cared about me that much that's actually quite sweet such a narcissist but okay I think what we really need to say to ourselves is what do you think of yourself you know do you like yourself do you like who you are are you a good person um and i think as long as at the end of the day you can say to yourself i'm a good woman what anybody else thinks of you is so irrelevant and it is just none of my business. Like I, I like who I am. I love who I

am. I'm a good person. My intentions are good. I treat people well and my heart is good. And therefore, if you don't like me, I, I'm okay with that because I like me. So I think if it's a real concern to you firstly ask yourself why that is you know like why do you need people to like you by the way I sound like such a hypocrite right now because I was at you last week being like I really hate it when people don't like me I get it I'm saying I'm just saying this is the things I say to myself it's like why do I care why do I care I like me I know I'm a good person and I know that and I will stand. I know I'm a good person. And I know that and I will stand by that, that I am a good person. So yeah, when you're having these thoughts, just say to yourself,

I fucking love who I am. And I would love to be my friend. Or this is very helpful thing to ask yourself, do I like myself? And if the answer might not be no, what do you not like about yourself? And how can we change that? So the answer is yeah yeah, you know, if you're like, not really, because I suppose sometimes I can just be a bit of a bitch to people for no reason, because I've just got this internal anger and I take it out on other people, less focusing on that anger. Where does that come from? And why am I punishing other people for it? How can I be a better friend? How can I be a better daughter? How can I be a better partner? You know, like if you can take a look at yourself and work on your toxic traits or the qualities

that you've, you know, developed from traumatic experiences or whatever and work on them so that you can stick by yourself and say, do you know what? I fucking rate myself as a human being. said you know what I fucking rate myself as a human being yeah if you can do that you have all it takes you have all it takes you know if you're a good person you you're fucking good enough that's all I have to say on that one next okay this is quite an interesting one so someone says give yourself the five love languages like you would a partner so i can't imagine how that would work so let's go through the five love languages okay physical touch i mean self-pleasure for sure this form of self-love correct um what's the other one words of affirmation of course you are beautiful you are gorgeous you are funny you are kind You're a good person. Yeah. You're a great friend. Blah, blah, blah. What else is there? Quality time. Of course, your you time, your downtime in a bath,

having a little sing or going on a little late night drive or studying, whatever it is that makes you feel relaxed and happy and show show yourself love whatever that may be okay what else is there um gifts oh yeah honey i buy myself gifts every day i bought myself some gifts today even if you go and get your nails done i mean that is a form of a gift treat yourself to your nails that's love baby that's love um what's the other one acts of service that's an interesting one i'm not sure how that can apply to yourself because obviously acts of service tends to be like doing something to make it to make someone else's day lighter i mean i suppose it's like say something's really stressing you out maybe let's say you're like oh i really have this essay due at uni and you know maybe let's say it's monday your

deadlines on on friday you could get that done on tuesday and then you've got wednesday thursday friday to enjoy stress free stress free you'll feel so you'll feel so light and proud of yourself and you'll feel so thankful to yourself for getting that shit out the way and you'll feel so light and proud of yourself and you'll feel so thankful to yourself for getting that shit out the way. And you'll feel like, do you know what? I'm fucking amazing doing that shit by Tuesday. Look at me. I've got Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Whereas I was such an idiot and I'd be like, right, deadline's on Friday so I can definitely start that Thursday night.

Do you know what I mean? And then I spend Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday being like, oh, fuck's sake, I've got to do that fucking essay. What day is it? Shit, I need to do that. You know what I mean? Whereas I would have had a much better week if I got it out the way so let's go with that that's a form of acts of service i would say so that actually is really great advice and i'm going to take that on board myself thank you okay next one oh okay imposter syndrome i never feel good enough and always feel out of depth in my jobs imposter syndrome is a big one if you guys don't know imposter syndrome is basically the feeling

that you don't deserve to be where you are it was a fluke they got it wrong you know like or they thought I was someone else when they read my cv and they've given me the wrong job they called the wrong number when they offered me this job or they thought I was more they thought I was more qualified than I actually am that's imposter syndrome where you you basically refuse to believe that you deserve to be there and you got there on your own so like I get it all the time in my musical theater experience like if I'm in a show if I get cast I'm like this was a mistake they got my cb wrong they think I'm better than I am I must have fluked the audition because I'm actually not that good they must have thought I'm good but i'm actually not so like why would they

hire me and i'll be in a room full of other incredible talented actors and i'll be like i'm not on the same level as you i don't deserve to be here you're way higher than me i'm nothing compared to you that's imposter syndrome the reality is you deserve to be everywhere you get and i think what i do is I just literally it honestly sounds really simple but I just honestly say to myself I fucking deserve this like even when you feel like oh my god this is a fluke this fluke I just go shut up I deserve this just as much as you so I think with imposter syndrome just have a word with yourself because that's all it is it's just your mind chatting shit and sometimes all you have to do is be like shut up all right I worked

really hard on my qualifications to get this job I really fucking nailed the interview I didn't lie on my CV they knew exactly what I was capable of They think I'm good enough for the job and that's why I've got it and I am good enough for the job. And I think it's a case of just having the argument with this imposter syndrome, like when I'm in an audition room and I think, oh my God, all of these people have been to drama school.

Like they have, they literally have a degree, a professional credit to say, I am good enough to be an actor and i don't like i literally i've never been to drama school in my life i wouldn't dare but look at us we're in the same room we're getting the same recalls at the same auditions and i deserve to be here just as much as you just because i couldn't afford drama school doesn't mean that i'm any less talented than you and it took me a long time to really believe that and I'd say it to myself I'm like no you deserve this you deserve this and I wouldn't believe a word of it but then the more that the more that I um achieved

the more I could believe it the more evidence I had that I was good enough so I think just keep going keep pushing do not do not ever listen to it do not ever let it take over and don't ever let it make you be too scared to step out into your out of your comfort zone and do something scary because you don't feel like you deserve it or you don't feel good enough don't ever let don't ever let it win and then the more that you achieve and the more people give you credit and the more people tell you that you do you you know you're you're amazing at this and thank you so much for what you did last week you really you were really great at this that's when you can be like actually do you know what i do fucking deserve it and just keep pushing through because you're absolutely amazing and you do deserve it and never ever let imposter syndrome take over

your brain all right next someone says any advice on how to stop being so critical in the mirror okay you know i can relate i think we can all relate i mean i don't think anyone even the people that we think are the most perfect flawless gorgeous human beings and on the planet i don't even think they look in the mirror and go 10 amazon i don't i don't believe it i really don't um so So, but one thing I saw Kendall Jenner say the other day on TikTok, I'm sure a lot of you might've seen it. She has a little picture of her younger self stuck to her mirror so that when she's looking in the mirror, and I really want to do this because I have this weird thing where I feel sorry for myself as a kid. I'm like, this is me being a narcissist where I literally look at my picture of myself as a kid and i'm like oh sweet girl i love you so much so she basically sticks it to her mirror and whenever

she's talking mentally talking to herself and thinking oh for fuck's sake like you look shit she looks at that picture and she's like i fucking love you like you are amazing and you do not deserve deserve this why did i go bristolian oh my days babe yeah you do not deserve deserve this why did i give her still here oh my days babe yeah you do not deserve it so and also someone else said on tiktok once it was like when you talk to yourself um and you and you bully yourself like use horrible words to yourself imagine sitting across from i don't know seven-year-old you little innocent gorgeous beautiful amazing perfect seven-year-old you and being like you're fucking ugly imagine doing that that is so heartbreaking to me but that is who you're talking to that is who you're talking to just because you're a grown

woman doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt like how you speak to yourself should be the same way you would speak to yourself when you were six if you were looking at six-year-old you now would you go oh you fucking idiot you're so fucking ugly no no one fucking wants you no way you'd go hi darling you okay aren't you beautiful haven't you got beautiful big brown eyes? Do you know what I mean? Whatever color your eyes are. I don't know. I'm just talking about myself. Shug. But honestly, I love that. Like, I think it's so sweet. Like, it's such a nice way to think about it because it's like, that's who you're talking to. That's who you are. So think about it like that. And you know, maybe it will help. I'm not sure. But I love you. And I think

you're beautiful. And I think you're perfect the way you are somebody says learning to accept your flaws and go on a healing journey so I totally agree with this because one of my major insecurities is my nose you guys know I talk about it all the time well not all the time mainly on TikTok to be honest but it's always been my biggest insecurity I got bullies for it when I was in school everyone used to tell me my nose was like a coat hanger my best friends loved it really felt good about myself um so all my entire life since a very young age I've always been like I have a big nose like I do have a big nose and people don't like that about me people notice it when they look at me people comment on it whenever they have the opportunity to hurt me it's what it's what they'll say um you know I get it now on TikTok live people like when

are you going to get a nose job and the thing is I've always said the day I can afford a nose job I'm gonna do it and I'm torn as a grown woman I'm torn because first of all I don't want to set an example to say that you have to seek perfection because we will never achieve it. Like I said, the people that we look at and think you're fucking gorgeous, you're perfect, you're a thing on a beat, they do not think that they are perfect. They have so many things they want to change about themselves. So I don't want to encourage people that we have to seek perfection. Another reason being, if I'm lucky enough to one day have a little girl or a little boy, to be honest, I don't want them to have my nose and then think that they need to change it because it wasn't good enough for me.

And therefore, you know, I've said, oh no, you've got my big, big ugly nose that I got rid of. Do you know what I mean? And then it becomes an insecurity for them immediately. knows that I got rid of do you know what I mean and then it becomes an insecurity for them immediately or you know they don't look like me or whatever there's the other reason but also because I've been on such a journey of accepting myself who I am like like I said I've been really just appreciating the fact that I am healthy and I'm alive and I'm a bit like why can't I just go do you know what I'm so lucky to be the way I am and live my life the way I'm able to live it and be born into the world that I was born into the country the family you know the body the health oh my god touch wood I'm scared I'm so scared you know like I'm so grateful and I'm so lucky and I appreciate it more

than ever that I'm like why can't I just love me for me and why do I have to change it why am I seeking perfection but the thing is I still like this is on the flip side now it's not I I know for a fact that if I got a nose job I wouldn't be be like, great, I'm perfect. It wouldn't be that. But it is still a case of like, this is something that's bothered me my whole life. And if I can change it, surely I'll be happier. But then it's like, surely that's just a downward spiral. But then you speak to people and they're like, having a nose job was the best thing I've ever done. It changed my confidence so much so much and like it when I tell you it affects my confidence massively like when I'm out and about and someone's talking to me from the side I'm like break my neck because I don't want them to look at me from the side for too long so when I say it is constantly on my mind

that is really the reason that I would get it fixed because I'm like I'd like to live my life without this weighing me down so much and I've tried to love it for 25 years and I'll never love it I think that's the case I'll never love it I can accept it now like I can finally accept it and and you know talk about it and joke about it whereas before if I even heard the word nose in a public setting I would immediately think everyone's looking at me everyone's talking about everyone's thinking oh god don't say that word in front of Leah everyone's thinking oh god speaking of big noses do you know what I mean whereas now I can laugh

about it I'm like yeah I have got a big nose I mean yeah I have yeah do you know what and I've got fucking small pancake tits as well yeah all right and one of my teeth, teeth, I mean, is that crooked that it looks like it's trying to escape from my mouth? Yeah. My skin sometimes looks like a lizard. The texture's that bad. Sometimes it looks like a gorgeous, slippery, sexy bowling alley, you know, and it goes up and down. So I'm definitely learning to accept who I am but the one thing I've never managed to fall in love with shall we say is my nose um so yeah like you say accepting flaws I can accept but also I'm struggling with the idea of like shall I change them or not do you know what I mean so yeah um interesting one that's one that I haven't

mastered so not gonna give too much advice on that but yeah I know we we all have something that we'd like to change if we could you know like if I said to you all now if if I could tell you I will pay for it because I've fucking got loads of money all of a sudden I I'll pay for it yeah tell me what you want I'll pay for it we can we can have whatever surgery transplant whatever it is you want what would you do and when I ask people this they always say something and I go what yeah like they'll be like oh I'd I'd get forehead Botox I I'm like, eh? What the fuck are you talking about? Or they'll be like, oh, I'd get my teeth done. And I'm like, your teeth are fucking gorgeous.

What are you talking about? So ask yourself that question. I don't know. It's so difficult because I know everyone's got an answer. And that's kind of what makes me sad. We all have an answer. Do you know what I mean? We all have one. I'd love know what I mean? We all have

one. Everyone, I'd love to hear your answers right now. Because I bet I could be like, what are you talking about, you silly bitch? Your teeth are gorgeous. Your nose isn't even big. Shut up. What are you talking about? You'd get Botox. Your skin looks absolutely stunning. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, I think we can wrap up the episode. what i mean anyway i think we can wrap up the episode okay so how are you feeling about that one did i make any great points there or was i just making it all about me and all my insecurities i really hope i didn't i'm really paranoid that i make everything about me because someone said i do that the other day and it's really got into my head they're like you should get it's all about me printed on a t-shirt I was like I feel kind of offended right now um so yeah I hope that's not okay I hope that's not

the case but yeah you know guys like I just think you know life is way too short to spend it at war with yourself battling your your mind and your thoughts. You are worthy of so much. You are so amazing. And let's do some affirmations together. This is the perfect episode for some affirmations. Okay. Repeat after me, everyone. I don't fucking care if you're out in public. You're going to shout this at the top of your lungs. All right. Everyone listening? Listen up. in listen up listen up okay I am a good friend I am gorge I'm a gorgeous slag I have a big sexy bunda I have the most beautiful smile that makes other people smile my laugh is contagious

okay what else we got you guys got any fuck me i'll run out um i am worthy of self-love and acceptance i am worthy of happy memories i am worthy of all of my successes yes that was for all of my imposter syndrome babes and let's finish off with i am a big batty gal okay love that everyone that was gorgeous hope you guys really enjoyed the affirmations this week we should do that every week honestly guys you're so amazing and oh actually somebody said to say on the pod to read women don't owe you pretty for anyone struggling apparently that's really good should we all get it and we can start like a book club although this is the only self-love episode i mean there'll definitely be another one because there's so many topics that we didn't cover we can do the

self-love episode two maybe every tuesday we can be like what chapter you guys on well it's just not gonna happen is it leah just shut up with your false promises that would be fun though i might order that and give it a good go i also really really recommend this book fill the fear and do it anyway i love that book my mum got me to read it when I was a teenage oh I was probably wasn't a teenager actually I was a teenager I was in uni so I was like 18 yeah feel the fear and do it anyway it's a really amazing book I highly recommend I've read it twice I love it but yeah honestly guys you're so amazing you I hope you took one thing from this episode I'm gonna listen to it back and hopefully take

some of my own advice because fuck more am I am I struggling with the self-love recently Jesus Christ um but yeah honestly you you're so amazing you're such good people I always say this I feel so lucky of my audience but yeah that's one thing I really want to stress your looks is one thing about you and it's probably the least interesting thing about all of us what is interesting is your heart and your your mind and your soul and your memories and your plans and your intentions and your personality traits they are so much more interesting than the size of your nose okay Leah when you listen back to this all right it's all right babe we'll get a few grand together one day and get nose job all right who wants to come with

me and get matching nose jobs oh yeah really encouraging the self-love Leah well done honestly guys I love you so much you're amazing never ever ever forget it thanks so much for all your love recently and just always you're the absolute best friends ever, ever forget it. Thanks so much for all your love recently. And just always, you're the absolute best friends I could ever ask for. I'm always here to pick up the phone whenever you need it. And yeah, I love you guys so much. You are the bestest friends. And I will speak to you in a few days.

All right. I love you. Bye.