Leah on the Line - Bonus 69: Are we moving too fast & he kept his kids a secret!!

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy friday whoa that was extra happy this week wasn't it how? How are you guys? What's going on, you guys? What's new? It is Friday already, another quick week. January is just flying by, isn't it? I said it last week, and like you guys already know, not a big fan of January, not my favorite month. But who has birthdays in January, just out of curiosity? Because obviously last week I was like, I'd hate to have a birthday in January. I'd hate, I hate it. And obviously my sister has a birthday in January, as I said, but I'm just curious how many of you guys have birthdays in January? What's that like? Because the thing is, what my sister's always said is it feels like such a long wait before you have any like exciting days of like presents,

you know, like birthday or Christmas, because they're so close together you have to wait pretty much a whole year for any any sort of celebration of you you know like obviously everyone waits a year for their birthday but for me my birthday's in August which means it's just over halfway through the year so I get like Christmas and then eight months later it's my birthday and then like four months later it's Christmas so I have like a great split in between you know between my birthday and Christmas my sister is just in one big bundle imagine them people that are born on like um Christmas Eve and stuff you know we were saying weren't we like how crazy is it that there's twins out there that were born like a day like you could be born on the 31st of December 2023 and your twin brother or sister could be born on the 1st of January 2024 mental and I can't remember if I

said this on the pod imagine if you were born on the last day of the school year and then your twin was born the next day of the school year and you were in different years at school, but you're twins. How mad is that? Because I'm a twin and I was meant to be born. Obviously twins are always early. So like full-term pregnancy

would have been around September for my mum, but because she was carrying twins, they come out earlier. So I was born in August, but if I wasn't a twin and I was just born in nine months I would have been in the year below at school so I was very young in my school year so my mum said that when we was like that young age where it's very important like your age everything changes like from three to four your education is like massively different and and that your knowledge is so different from three to four or like two three three to four four to five and

stuff so she was like you're like a four-year-old in a class full of five-year-olds which in that in that um stages of learning it's quite drastically different so i was always quite far behind apparently why can't i breathe anyway so yeah isn't that interesting so yeah what do i have to update you on i'm doing the school run in a minute i'm just back on my auntie duties like i'm back in school run mode i love doing the school run the kids also love it when i pick them up do you know one thing i always remember is when i was young and my aunties lived in london all my life right and she would come down to somerset quite a lot and i will never forget I was talking to my sister about this the other day I'll never forget the feeling of when we would walk home from school and we'd see her car parked outside the house

and it's like and we'd run down the street because we knew Leanne was Leanne was down it was so cool also guys I need to tell you something my nephew who is 12 years old somebody tried to mug him the other day we have reported this to the police and everything so don't worry but yeah he was literally walking home from school at 3 30 in the afternoon right and some guy came over to him with a balaclava on and was like what phone have you got my poor nephew was petrified and he was like oh i don't know and then bless him it makes me want to cry and then the guy was like what did he do first i think he just went to grab it straight away or something but anyway my nephew just ran like he just ran and then he went to grab my nephew he went to grab him by his bag but

didn't grip it enough couldn't reach him properly so my nephew got away and he was running screaming for help screaming for help when he was following him chasing him and then he just give up in in the middle of the day guys it was at a park as well walking for a park surrender and yeah me and my sister went to pick him up straight away and he was so terrified like that is every kid's worst nightmare like i was so scared of like strangers when i was that age like he's in year eight like going into year nine this year like but yeah they've reported to the police the police are aware there's like it's to be fair they've actually done such a good job like they have police watch like around the school now and in

the park where it happened because apparently there's been reports of other children who he's approached as well so yeah oh it's just so terrifying but honestly i'm just so glad he's okay but to be honest he's just traumatized like that was so scary for him but yeah oh bless him so honestly because the thing is when you're a kid you you're scared at night time like you're scared when when it's late at night and you're walking home late at night not after school middle of the fucking day you think you're all right so sleep but yeah hmm and i've got a hiccup coming i just had some bulldog ramen oh i had the carbonara ones with a crispy fried egg and some cucumber sticks on the side and my greens juice mixed diet but it's all good i feel like i had something to tell you guys and I cannot think for the life of me what it was.

Oh yeah, guys, I'm injured. I bought a new cooking knife, right? My kitchen has the shittest knife. My mum has always had this, she's like, health and safety police. Like, seriously, we were not allowed glasses in our house to drink out of until I was about 21. glasses in our house to drink out of until I was about 21. Like she would give us cups of squash in a mug, in a tea mug, because they are less fragile. Like when, when we were little, we'd have it in a cup. Yeah. When we was teenagers, I'm talking year 11, right? 16, still not on our glass in the house. We had to drink whatever we wanted to drink out out of a mug right it's just normal to me like my friends would come around my house yeah i'm like

do you want some squash yeah give him a mug like what so weird now i look back but anyway she always went like the health and safety plate right so no glass in the house and stuff like that so to the point where we we never have sharp knives in our house okay and i was like you know what i do the cooking around here and i'm sick of fucking blunt knives so i bought a new knife that was really good and sharp fucking slice my finger off clean off finger was hanging off it's actually hanging off by it was hanging on by a thread no it wasn't i was cutting some green beans like trimming them yeah and i was holding like a chunk of beans together in a line so I could slice them all in one and I just was going a bit too

quick like getting a bit cocky because my knife was so sharp I thought yeah I fucking love it look at me I'm a chef literally took my knuckle off to the point where I literally screamed I was like help help I was just rinsing it under the tableau and it was just so much blood normally I get really light-headed from blood but I was actually okay I think because I found it kind of funny like oh of course typical me I bought a knife an hour ago cut myself cooking dinner that same night and my sister went I bet she's just cut herself on her fucking new knife and I add and Jamie had to go to the knife and and take my skin off the knife because it was stuck to the knife a big chunk of my skin vile anyway so now I've got this massive plaster

on my thumb yeah because it did not stop bleeding for a day and a half constant blood it was it was hideous it was quite deep but it's all right i'll be all right anyway my nephew bless him love him he is six okay he's the funniest kid you will ever meet and he came over and he was like oh like oh as in like came over to me he was in the house when it happened he came over and was like oh like what have you done what have you done i showed him and he was like i thought it was like i've cut my whole fucking arm off or something, I was like, relax, it's not that bad, but he was like, let me see, like, really fascinated by it, and I was like, babes, you don't, you just cringed out, like, you want me to show you again, he's like, yeah, yeah, I want to see, and I'll show

him again, then he's like, you know, like, stop looking at it, and then he'll be like, no, show me, show me, let me me see i was like oh my god why are you so fascinated by blood like kind of kind of red flags show me anyway and then that night he was like can i can i feel your plaster i said yeah of course you can and then he was like poking it he went oh i really want a plaster it's really cool and i went to him oh yeah should we cut your thumb off and and then you have a plaster? And he went, yeah. And I was like, okay, yeah. Thinking, is he fucking for real?

Went downstairs to his mum, my sister. I went, Jode, Louis wants me to cut a bit of his thumb off so he can have a plaster. Is that alright? And she went, obviously she knows I'm taking the piss. She went, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, if you want a plaster Louis cut it off and then he's like yes I was thinking what the fuck is wrong with this kid I went and I got like a really blunt butter knife got this sounds like a fucked up story

don't worry I did not hurt anybody okay and I was like right you ready seeing how far he would go before he went oh no I don't actually want you to cut my fucking skin off. And he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm ready. And he was going, okay, okay, are you sure? Are you sure I can do this? And I was like, Louis, you don't have to do this, mate. Like, you've asked me to cut your finger off. No, no, I really want to plaster.

I really want to plaster. I'm thinking, are you actually okay? And I was going, okay, right, are you actually okay and I was going okay right are you ready and he's like hold on a minute mummy mummy let me sit on your lap mummy let me sit on your lap I was like this kid is so strange right he's going right I'm ready I was going right okay you ready ready he's going oh wait wait I was just laughing thinking what is wrong with this kid like he genuinely wants me and thinks i'm going to cut him and he's like yeah okay taking deep breaths i went louis i've got an idea why don't i just give you a plaster without cutting you and he was like no

like that no i was like what why do you want me to cut you louis and he was like no i really want you to i went no way i'm not cutting my nephew louis and then he was like oh please and i just said no i can't believe you was actually serious i can't believe you actually thought i was serious so i was like let me just give you a plaster hun so i just put a plaster over nothing and let me just give you a plaster, hon. So I just put a plaster over nothing. And honestly, he was crying. He was like, what the hell? You are the strangest child. Like, what went wrong there for him to be like, yeah, cut it off. Cut it off. I'll do anything for a plaster. I was crying. But anyway, yeah, that's my weekly catch up from this week so far. I hope you guys have all had a really good week. This episode, I just wanted to sort of have a nice little chat but then a couple of you asked

me to do some more dilemmas so i thought we could include some in this episode so yeah without further ado let's get straight into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leah on the line.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, you guys. So let's kick it up with some dilemmas. Let's start with this one. It says, in need of advice, are things moving more quickly than they should hi leah first off i love your podcast you're incredibly helpful and insightful so thank you

for doing what you're doing oh thank you so much i love you maybe this isn't a huge dilemma but i would love your advice on my current dating situation as my mum has expressed to me that she's worried things are moving too fast um for some context i'm 23 and i still live at home with my parents saving that rent money so i'm kind of obligated to update them all the time on my whereabouts which i find a little annoying lol but getting used to it yeah yeah yeah i have had a couple of long-ish term relationships in the past one to one and a half years long my last relationship was long distance so i could only see him so often important because this is different than my current situation

and we split in mid-november okay not long ago really it's just like coming up two months or probably just gone two months right um now towards the end of december i met a guy at work and we really hit it off we flirted at our company's holiday party and exchanged numbers the next week he asked me to dinner but i asked to rain check because i wanted to focus on spending time with my family over the holidays which he totally understood i just know you're american and i love this you know the company's holiday party and exchange numbers the next week he asked me to dinner but I asked to recheck because I wanted to focus on spending time with my family over the holidays how's my American accent I feel like it used to be better when I was a kid and now

it doesn't sound real now it's just a bit too wild you know which he totally understood though we didn't go on a date right away we did text quite a bit over the holidays and started getting to know each other he seems really genuine and isn't afraid of more serious topics like what are your goals when dating are there any boundaries you want me to know about how do you handle conflict etc very healthy beautiful conversations to be had which is a huge green flag for me after the new year he asked me on a date and since then we had one day each week in January, which my parents knew, but didn't really say much about. I think they were trying to respect my privacy,

which I appreciate. Yeah, lovely. Then this past weekend, January the 20th, we went to a Latin dance event together. Oh, sexy. Our second date that week, then ended up going to his place to hang out after and I ended up staying the night and hanging out with him for a bit the following day lovely the staying over

and hanging out Sunday bit was not pre-planned and I think it freaked my mum out a bit I did text her to keep her updated that I was alive but she didn't seem thrilled then today Monday January 22nd he asked me to hang out again. And when I mentioned it to my mum, she expressed that she was worried things were moving too quickly. She said she trusts me to do what's best for myself, but she's a little concerned that it's too much too suddenly. So this is my dilemma. Do you think it's too early to see a guy's three days in a row after only dating for about a month? I'm going to do it tonight but I wanted your opinion for the future if I should be taking a step back on making plans with him as

often for a little while I've been conscious of how quickly things have been progressing but I feel like we just click super well and I really enjoy spending time with him and I've not detected a red flag yet is it crazy for me to want to spend so much time with him I'm also wondering if there's a case if it's a case where my mum might not be supportive until she's met him as of my last relationship because it was long distance he never had to stay at our house oh no he had to stay at our house whenever he visited so she met him pretty much right away okay got you got you, got you. And I guess it's like, it's under her roof, you know, so she has more control over things. Yeah, I don't know,

I might be overthinking everything, but would love to hear your thoughts on the situation. But yes, I do have a few great girlfriends as well, so it's not a situation where he's the only person I'm ever hanging out with or talking to, but most of my friends live a few hours away, so I do have most days free to hang out with him because it's difficult to see my girlfriends often and they don't seem to think things are moving too quickly so i'm getting different opinions from different sides thank you for your help love you okay love you i i don't think it's i don't think it's unusual i don't think it's abnormal at all i think we've all done it you know like when you're dating someone you just want to see them all the time because you feel so good around them you have such a great time with

them and typically it does slow down or if it doesn't it progresses quickly or whatever whatever but I I just think it's quite normal like I do I think when you're dating someone you do think about them all the time and want to see them all the time and like you said like you have your besties but it's not as easy to see them so you are just available and in your eyes and in mine as well why wouldn't you like why purposely make a point of being like oh i really want to see him on friday but i better not because i've seen him on wednesday so i better not see him friday like that it just doesn't feel natural do you know what I mean so I'm not sure why your mum thinks that I get I do get that sometimes it can feel like they are love bombing you and trying to get you in and it feels really intense really quickly and

and sometimes that can be a bad thing and it can be a red flag and it can be a love bomb and a case of like they're trying to uh what's it called you know when especially if you're dealing with narcissists and um like people like that where they want you to they want to get hold of you and own you as early as possible and in in them cases i can get it but we don't know what we're dealing with yet and what i'm saying is it isn't it isn't unusual to want to see them all the time dealing with yet and what I'm saying is it isn't it isn't unusual to want to see them all the time so as long as he isn't saying things like I'm obsessed with you I'm in love with you you're the best thing I've ever come across in my life you're everything I've ever dreamed of if he

isn't love bombing you I I think it is pretty normal to just like want to see them all the time you know I love you keep us all updated with that one okay this one is interesting let's go in with this one hey gorge i can't lie i'm in a pickle and i need advice so badly i'm honestly struggling with this situation so much right now for context i'm 27 and he is 31 i recently started dating this guy we met on hinge and had our first date about two weeks ago it went amazing and since then we have seen each other probably five or six times a few times gone for drinks and other times just chilled at his i have spent the night twice he's okay this is this is quick you met on hinge had your first date about two weeks ago and you've seen each other five or six times um and spent the night twice so that's almost every other day

six you're not far off about two weeks ago is 14 days and you've seen him six times so that's almost every other day because every other day would be seven so that's almost every other day because every other day would be seven you know so that is a lot compared to the last dilemma this that is very that is a lot very quickly um he is absolutely amazing so funny so thoughtful and the effort he puts in is 10 10 he has planned the loveliest weekend for us i told him i'd never done an escape room and he looked into the best ones near us and planned a weekend in Feb to do it. He also asked to take me on a bottomless brunch this weekend.

I've never had someone be so assertive and lets me in my feminine energy so much. So last night we were chilling and I was asking if he wants to get married or have kids one day. He went dead silent and told me he has a son. He said his son is 12 and he has recently had to go for a court case as his baby mum won't let him see the kid but he had to drop the case because his job were being weird about it question mark question mark i then said okay is there

anything else i should know and he said yes there is i also have a two-year-old daughter he said he still sees his daughter who was from a different baby mum I was so shocked I asked him to leave mine we've been having sex talking about getting in a relationship and he's been keeping such a huge part of his life from me I absolutely understand not disclosing straight away especially if it's something traumatic for him with the court case and everything but it's made me think of him as shady and secretive am I overreacting I'm not sure if i want to deal with any baby mom drama and i'm upset that he didn't tell me earlier before feelings started creeping i know two weeks isn't a long time since our first date but it's been intense and we've spent so much time together

it just feels like i've been deceived i'm really not sure how to move forward um should i give him a go or is this a red flag that I should be running from thanks Leah love you so much I'm really hoping this makes it to an episode because I'm stressed about this lol thanks baby girl love you too oh my god okay do you know what I I do this sometimes you guys know I do this sometimes and I may be being really dramatic but I genuinely think this is a big red flag not having children it is everything else like i think from the you've seen each other almost every other day um and you know he's amazing he's so funny so he's so thoughtful the effort he puts in his 10 10 like he's planned

an amazing weekend for for us like i've told him I've never done an escape room and he looked into ones near us and it is giving obsessed love bomb it's giving um I don't know like I don't know what the word is but I can't see that ending well I just feel like it's not started off naturally and at a natural pace and i've been there right and so many of you listeners will be able to understand what i'm saying if you haven't been there you might be like what the fuck leah how can you say that that's a bad thing but if you've been there you will probably agree that this isn't is never normally a good sign when somebody from day one is like you know if you say i've never done the escape room they're like booked it booked it it's like okay i get it thoughtful on its own very thoughtful but with i've seen you

six times out of the last 14 days we're staying over we've got big deep dark secrets you know it all together is giving i don't know narcissist i'm not sure definitely jump to conclusions here leaping in fact because you've not told me much about him and i'm i'm literally laboring him a narcissist and i could be completely wrong hopefully i am but i'm just saying this is my gut being like what the fuck like this guy it's gone very intense he's given you everything you've ever wanted and he's perfect then all of a sudden it's a secret what i want to say is when a man says to you okay so let's look at this he said his son is 12 and he has recently had to go through a court case as his baby mum won't let him see the kid. I understand that there are situations where women can do it to ex-partners and stuff not let you see the kid and you know they are totally

fit fathers and and it is nothing to do with the guy and sometimes it is just the woman being cruel that definitely does happen I'm not saying that doesn't happen but what i always want to remind people is it is always important to consider why a woman might be doing that why a woman might be stopping somebody i don't like that phrase like the phrase stopping me seeing my kid like why a woman might be concerned for her child's safety around this man I think it's always important to consider why she would why she would make that decision because it's not easy and I have seen it firsthand um and what I want to say is him saying he had to drop the case because his job were being weird about it surely no job

is worth dropping a court case to to have access to your child like i just don't believe that like if that was me and i wasn't allowed to see my child or anything that was important to me and my job was like you know whatever they said being weird about it I say fuck you and fuck your job because this is my child this is my life this is what matters to me so fuck your job if you got a problem with it and I would and I think a lot of people would most people would I just can't imagine a job being weird about it. Like, oh, you've got caught. Do you know what I mean? Unless you just don't give a fuck or you know you're gonna lose the court case.

I don't know. But you also have, you have a, what's the word? Like you are required to show up. Like if there is a court case, you have to show up. Like you is a court case you have to show up like you can't for a case to be dropped i don't know that's very strange just i don't believe he's a genuine person i i just don't i just think what you're so intense so quickly and these people do that thing where like they don't make sense like and you're just confused and you know what if somebody asked you questions if they were like so how come he doesn't see his his son he'd be like oh something to do with court and then his work and something to do and

then people go what and then you're like yeah i don't really know that's never a good sign like they have confused you because what they're telling you is just bullshit and it doesn't make sense because if it wasn't bullshit it would just make sense you know what i mean i always think that um so i honestly if if you were my sister and you and she was seeing somebody and saying this stuff to me i'd say leave it in my opinion leave it like there are men many many many men out there that are less concerning with their behavior like we don't need this intensity we don't need it it's it's not often a good sign like obsession and you know like this intensity is not often a good sign and then to say things like oh you know I have got a 12 year old that I didn't tell you about for ages but since we're on the topic yeah I have got two

children one of them I don't see because because his mum won't let me um and I was going to court but now I'm not so yeah now I just don't see him but like none of what I'm saying is really adding up or making any sense but like don't worry about it it's like okay what the fuck's going on here like and I find that after a while you learn from it from going through experiences with these kind of people it makes sense in the end and you're like ah okay yeah it makes sense so I just feel like I don't want you to be involved do you know what I mean like liars and the secrets and shit like I just I just feel like I really, I just want you to, to be happy and be all right. And, and it not, you know what I mean? It not come back and bite you in the ass, you know, things that we've just ignored and brushed past. So yeah, please keep me

updated with that one. Um, but then if you feel like you know what i really like this guy leo you've got you've got the wrong end of the stick you know i would just ask more questions and i'd want to understand you know what were her reasons for not allowing not allowing contact um and what did you do about it how do you feel about it now how long has it been that way about it now how long has it been that way also I'd ask um about any history you know I don't know I would just I would have questions if you really want to you know see where things go with this guy because maybe I have got him all wrong I would just ask questions so you feel like you really know who he is and what's going on there but yeah love you so much you beautiful gorgeous stunning girls all right oh thank you guys for sending in your dilemmas it is a bonus episode so i'm gonna cut it here but obviously

we have a little chat on the outro so let's wrap up the episode okay you guys thank you so much for listening i am feeling a bit like I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do Friday episodes like I just feel like I took on such a commitment doing two episodes a week that I'm almost just a bit like maybe I should just stick to the Tuesdays but I haven't decided yet I'll have a look at my schedule see if I can schedule it in when to film these episodes because I'm they're always so hectic trying to find time for the Friday episodes because my week is so busy the Tuesdays are easy because I have all weekend and all Monday to think about it and make sure it's up and ready and scheduled the Fridays are so difficult because my week my week

days is when I'm working and I'm busy and I'm getting shit done so it's really difficult so yeah I am debating just doing Tuesday so let me know how you guys would feel about that and then obviously like I will still do bonus episodes but they'll just be a bit more sporadic and just rare you know like if I wanted to do a Friday episode it would just be like you know when we used to do like oh the singles episode the breakup episode and I would upload that on a Friday it would probably just go back to that like when when I can think of oh I really want to do an episode on this it would just be recorded separately go up on a Friday and it would just be like a random bonus app so yeah I need to have a think about that and see what I can schedule

and yeah just take a look so yeah let me know how to have a think about that, and see what I can schedule, and yeah, just take a look, so yeah, let me know how you guys would feel about that, but yeah, I love you guys, thank you so much for listening to my episode today, thank you for choosing Lear on the Line when you opened your podcast today, or this morning, or this evening, this afternoon, whatever it is, but I hope you guys all have an amazing weekend, I have my brother's girlfriend's baby shower this weekend, which I'm really looking forward to. It's going to be so nice. And yeah, I hope you guys all have an amazing weekend,

whatever it is that you're getting up to. Remember to send in any dilemmas to learontheline.com. Any confessions if you guys ever want to do that. Any updates. We love the updates. Weekly debate ideas, whatever it is follow leon the land on instagram to get involved and i'll speak to you on tuesday for a brand new episode all right i love you bye Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable

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