lemonparty - 115: The Stars Are Out

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

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I've been watching Mad Men for the first time, girl, I had the best of me. You know what's great? I've been watching Mad Men for the first time, and I kind of had that with Mad Men, where it's like a very, very good show. Yeah. But I get so tired with just like Don's like, I'm sad because my hot wife's an actress,

that I'm just like, fuck you, Don. Yeah, yeah. Shut the fuck up. Mad Men's great. There's a couple storylines where it's, you're just kind of like, well, that goes nowhere. It's just a woman that they needed him to fuck for three episodes.

Right, and then after three episodes he goes, well I'm done fucking you. She's like, okay. It just moves on. Moves on and then maybe you'll see her in the next season while you're shopping real quick. Just to remind you he's a whore or whatever. That's the only thing that kind of separates

that show from. The problem is it peaks season four and season five I just started season seven. It does go downhill. Mm-hmm. It's tough when a show doesn't peak at the end Yeah, yeah, cuz that's the storyline where it's like, you know, the original Don Draper's wife dies Like Don is like having to accept right? Is that the one with the word? The British guy kills himself British guy kills himself Yeah, exactly. It's like that whole, they're starting their own firm, it's like going up, up, up, and then it comes, you fucking, I hate this.

I actually hate this. Yeah, it's really gross. It's pissing me off a lot. I don't like seeing him at the site of your wedding. Yeah, I don't, it doesn't piss me off, it makes me feel gross. As I tried to play it, all the monitors turned off. See?

Your computer doesn't want it. How did that just happen, by the way? Well, he has connections. That's Masad. Dude, that's crazy. I was about to play that video to start the episode. I've lost all... This has been on for 40 minutes as I've been down here.

You guys have been upstairs debating the Brutalist. We've got to get an Iron Dome in here. Yeah, Masad is circling this with a right this is very has gelman bugged this room He probably don't know it's bugs your leg. Look. It's the guitar computers off sure. He lives right around here Go go. It's got your whole life on a stick. Okay, that was now it's back. We're back I mean we'll roll with it for anybody who hasn't been keeping up Gellman's wife blocked me on Instagram as well What's her name the witch of the West is her name? That's her the witch of the West I think it's called which of the West Coast at which it's which of the West Bank

Very good. Very good. Yep, very good My monitor is not on over here. Here we go. Okay, here we go. I Was trying to play this as a message I was trying to send a message up top obviously because that's the kind of show we are sure I was trying to send this as a message you're about to show us your ship I'm sitting this message to Brett's wife right here you gonna block me on Instagram I'll make revenge for fuck you okay that? I'll fuck your husband. How do you like that? I'll make revenge porn. Fuck you.

Okay, that's the first video, by the way. You don't think I have more of these that I've been making? Do you actually fuck him? Oh, I've been making videos of me fucking him, huh? Wait, did you make that? No, I didn't. Someone in the Discord.

I was about to be like, that's really sad. No, I was like, I just babysat your daughter. I'm threatening Brett's wife. It's good to threaten. It's revenge-born. Yeah, yeah. We could find out where they live, drive by. Just back and forth.

We could turn their lives like Cape Fear. Just stand across the street. We fuck his wife, like she's Julia Lewis. Yeah. Well, well, well, mr. Comedy boy Now that I'm at war I look I threw away all my pagers. I got nothing in my home. Sure detonate. Yeah, I'm safe Everything's good. I know you have a couple electronic baby books. I don't know about that You have a couple speaking spells. They'll put a fucking bomb in there. Yeah, they don't give a shit. The cow goes, beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. Bwaah.

Let me, I gotta start the show with soy face. Oh, right. Alright, yeah, of course. The show's back. Of course. We're back. Here we go. Hey, we're back. We're doing soy face. Look at that. Look at that. We're looking at a

screen of Ben making out with another grown man that he made on his computer. I still can't believe that. Remember that kid in Palestine that sent that picture of him, he spray painted Breck Elman as a fag on a rubble. I forgot about that. And sent it to his buddy that sent it to me. Yeah, yeah.

It was crazy. That's the resistance, man. Yeah. Because Breck Elman is a fag. Yeah, and we're trying to send a message right now. You know, I never did anything to them on Instagram and they still blocked me on there too. Well, they found out there was somebody,

there was a ringleader. Mm-hmm. They think. Yeah, it was all the comments that say, Ben Avery's sin is. Ben Avery sins his regards, Bob. Here's my message to you, hey, you wanna unblock me

or this is what's gonna keep happening right here? I'm gonna fuck you. This is actually me owning you for some reason. You know what's so. You having gay sex to own a guy? Be you, be you. Artie, call me alert. It would be better if you made porn of him fucking you

than just you passionately kissing at your wedding venue. This is the ultimate own, Jace. You know nothing about. This is the ultimate gen A. This is Phantom Tax. This is Riz. This is the Rizler. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is Ohio. Yeah, sure. This is all the gen A stuff. Average Ohio experience. If you wanna own a gen A-er, just Photoshop yourself having gay sex with them or making out with them, as long as they're not a minor, of course. Or a woman, because they'll freak out and tell on you

for making revenge porn. Now, speaking of revenge porn, by the way, this Skip Bayless sweetheart, did you do a dive on this, Devon? Ooh la la, you know I have. Joy Taylor at Fox Sports One. You really should represent rapists at this point. My entire life has been shrouded with defending rape.

Wait, Skip's a rapist now? No, no, no, this is great. This is a good, finally one for me. This is a woman who was a crazed whore at work, trying to work her way up through the ranks and is involved in a lot of, Joy Taylor is on Fox Sports One. She hosted Undisputed with Shannon Sharp and Skip Bayless. And she just looks like a gigantic porn star on the show.

Yeah, this is her, right? That's the show. Yeah, she was hot as shit. You turn it on, you'd be like, what the fuck is that? Oh my God. With her titties hanging out. Oh no, I've seen her. She's hot as fuck.

She's hot as shit. She's hot as shit. She's so fucking hot. You would see her moderating a debate about like Michael Jordan. And who's the ghost? You like wanna jack off. Cause she looks like it's like, she looks like a Miami porn star.

Now you'd cover Skip and Shannon with either hand so you could fuck your TV. And the whole time I'd be like, why the fuck? I've never seen her around the sports landscape at all. There's another woman, Taylor Rooks, they're both just super hot. Super, super hot.

And you're just kind of like, how'd they get in so quickly? And hot in a way where you can tell athletes will wanna fuck them. 100%. Yeah, very thick, kind of light skinned women. So her hairstylist has a big lawsuit against Fox Sports and she's mentioned multiple times,

she was banging her boss, this old white guy, it looked like Brian Dennehy. She was banging Tommy Boy's dad. This lady, Nushen Faraji? That's the hairstylist, yeah, who has the lawsuit and she outs Joy Taylor the whole time. Oh wow. And so.

It really looks like just two whores suing each other. Yeah, and so Skip Bayless was trying to fuck the hairstylist for a long time, wouldn't. And even to the point where he offered her 1.5 million dollars to fuck him, which is just, that's insane. Which means he offered one and she said no. So he's like, well, 1.5.

Well, it goes to, Ben, you should really look up pictures of Skip Bayless, because he'll post, he's like, I'm undefeated in these, and he's wearing Jordans and a suit, and he looks like he's taking a shit in his living room. That's awesome. He's a really sad, retarded man. He's 78 years old, he'll post, like, flexing pics.

Yeah, I'm just trying to get the family guy best of. Oh, right, of course. Because we need the watch time to go up on these episodes. Sure, sure, sure. And it's behind me. Play that in Subway surfers really quick. So she was also then banging her Another co-host on the show So she was getting railed by like a former linebacker and then like at night like sucking the old balls of like Brian Dennehy

And Bayless and this is skip Bayless. Yeah, and then all the while, Joy Taylor was saying that if anything ever happens, she'll just accuse one of them of rape. That's what she told the hairstylist. And that's like a leaked text? It's in a lawsuit. Yeah, so she's finished probably. And- So who's gonna win?

Well, I mean, hopefully the hairstylist and hopefully men. You tweeted something insane about, like, she was eating poop out of some guy's asshole. I made up crazy claims, because it's over. It's over. I can say whatever I want. In honor of Skip Bayless, that's the biggest tribute you could make. She was eating out a guy's leaky pooper.

And she was doing ass to ass in front of Colin Cowherd. And she fucked the entire Around the Horn crew. Under 30 seconds each one. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so it's just fun. It's a fun thing to, because Fox Sports 1 always kind of looked like the porny one.

You know, ESPN had the first take lady that hosted, she was hot. Fuck what's her fucking name. I can never remember their fucking names. I forget her name, she was dating Jalen Rose for a while. She has like some disease where she shits a lot or something. She has halitosis in her ass. A lot of women have that shit,

they shit all the time, we don't know. Yeah it's cause their asses are so big. believe Crohn's yeah, yeah like that autoimmune Yeah, women love having autoimmune disorders. This lady Molly quorum. Yeah, Molly here. Yeah, she's she's great She's better, but she she interrupts all the time people are always like shut your trap woman Okay, we're gonna give you you know you don't want to get another shiner Yeah, she's got the war a loomer thing going on to you which I don't you don't wanna get another Shiner, okay? She's got the Laura Loomer thing going on too, which I don't really care for. So yeah, unfortunately every woman that moderates

sports debates on ESPN or Fox is like a porn star that just gets shit on online because they just, they interrupt and people go like, yeah, but just show your tits, shut the fuck up. But that's kind of ESPN and that's kind of the sports landscape for hiring like, Bang Bros like ladies to like start you know moderating.

Like when the Erin Andrews lease like went out people were like I can't believe it. It's like this is the whole reason she's here. That was when it happened. Cause you wanna fuck her face while you're watching TV. And what happened to a bunch of football players skull fucked some lady? No Erin Andrews was somebody was like peeping

like there was a peeping Tom like looking at her change in her like hotel There's literally it was a video leaked that was literally you could see the keyhole shape like a cartoon and her like changing through the key Like Porky's yeah, like literally how Porky Pig would watch a woman in master. Yeah through a cartoon keyhole I'm trying to think of that John Belushi movie. It's called like Porky's You think of Porky's John Belushi is not in it, but it is Porky's. OK, it is Porky's. The whole movie, isn't it like he's watching like high school girls shower or something after a volleyball game?

The whole movie's like, hey, let's go rape these high schoolers. I think that's the whole plot. And then it's like Louie Louie just starts playing. Yeah. That was Harvard Lampoon. That was the time. And they had a great bit where they're

staring at these teenage girls in the shower And then one of them is like I have a great idea And he sticks his dick through the hole and then right when he does it the ugly bull dyke fucking gym teacher comes through And grabs his dick and everybody screams because she's a ugly dyke of a woman. Those are the great days Yeah, and that was that was like the greatest comedy of like 1982 at least now They're doing it to each other and on in real life Yeah, we don't need fiction. We don't need films. They're all like they're raping each other at will They're eating poop out of each other's asshole. We need to think about this. I made all that up

You should Molly quorum ate shit out of skip Bayless' asshole. No, she's not involved in this. Molly's a good woman. Yeah, don't drag Molly's name through the shit mud. Molly's not involved in this. Joy Taylor is a fucking, is a Florida Project hoe. Yeah. Okay. And she deserves everything coming to her. Cause listen, I don't care about the banging, the sucking, the fucking.

You love the sucking. The sucking, the fucking, the ass eating, the... The fucking! The cum eating. Skip, I'm not gonna talk about the fucking, the sucking. Now, Stephen and I, have you had your ass eaten today, by joy? No, it's what really chaps my ass.

Was that she admitted that she was just good, she was having, she was a premeditated false rape accusation. She's in mind. So she's like, I will consent to all the sex stuff so then I can accuse him of rape later. The hairstylist goes, you should stop this. This is gonna, cause she was married at the time. The guy, her boss was married.

She was seeing both of these guys. She was banging this CTE riddled retarded linebacker that works for the show who's just like an idiot. And they would post on Twitter for years. I would always be like, something's up. They're all banging. Cause they would post on Twitter for years. I would always be like, something's up. They're all banging. Because they would post just really positive things about each other.

They'd be hanging out. I'm like, they're not just hanging out. He's gorilla fucking her through a fucking Miami apartment wall. With his knuckles pressed into the ground. And I didn't say that because he's black. It's like a strong way of fucking. Right, it's just he's a big black guy. And't say that cause he's black. It's like a strong way of saying it. Right, it's just he's a big black guy.

And I said it cause he's black. And so. Silverback. No! Gorilla. Let's get out of here! Let's skip it. Right.

He's fucking her while holding onto a pipe with both arms. It just swinging into her pussy. Like a gorilla. You said like a gorilla. No, that's a saying, isn't it? Gorilla fuck? No, it's gorilla grip, gorilla fuck, it's fine No, that's a saying is no no no no it's gorilla girl grip gorilla fuck it's fine isn't that a sign I really genuinely meant that it's fine gorilla fucking a gorilla fuck. I thought that was a real grip is a thing I use it, but I really a friend girl grip is for a big Juicy pussy hard to keep up these days, but so listen. I'm on the side of men

and It's hard to keep up these days. But listen, I'm on the side of men. And so she, when the hairstylist was like, hey, you should stop, this is really bad. You're gonna get in trouble. She goes, no, I'm fine. I'm in a big position of power now. And also, if anything happens, I'll just accuse one of them of rape. She's gonna flip a coin and decide whose life to ruin.

That's kinda early retirement now for these bimbos, these hoes, these ball garglers They are gonna have consensual sex with people and then accuse them of rape later get a nice little settlement Yeah, that's the woman's version of getting hit by a dump truck owned by the city where you're like, I don't have to ever again It's it's gypsy tactics. Yeah, it's fucking it's it's insurance scam shit, but it ruins a man's life It does but it does it might get you a seat at the Golden Globes, it might get you an award. The stars were out last night, I'll tell you. The stars were out, and Los Angeles were out.

Hey, they were twinkling last night. I have a clip from one of these shows that won, I think, best TV show? I got it bookmarked right here. You gotta see this. As you guys know, I don't watch TV. I just don't. You're too busy making porn of you and Brett Gellman.

That's right. This is a Golden Globe award-winning movie, I guess. What's this? Amelia Perez. Oh, this is Amelia Perez? This is Amelia Perez. Oh! You get to watch this.

I've seen this clip, it's horrific. Is the sound going? Gellman has fucked me again, hold on. Yeah, Gellman doesn't want you to shit on trans people. But if you don't know this movie, it's a musical about a cartel leader who wants to escape the cartel and is gay, so he becomes trans and then becomes, I think, a lawyer fighting the cartel and is gay, so he becomes trans, and then becomes, I think,

a warrior fighting the cartel as a trans woman. Oh, I hope the cartel kills everyone that is involved in it because it makes them look gay. You can only hope. Zoe Saldana has a gold cursive, like, AK-47 pointer. I heard of this for the first time last night, and it seemed to win everything. And then Zoe Saldana got up there,

and she's always just been American lady, black woman that's American, and she was up there just going like, oh my God, what did we get there? She was fully Spanish on stage. She's going like Puerto Rican now. Yeah. It's the great actor tradition of you,

if you get enough recognition for something, you just become that person for the rest of your life. Yeah, they're not people. No. None of them are people. Because you're mentally retarded. And it just bothers me that Chalamet is with Kylie Jenner. You know?

I know, we were sharing it. We're sharing it in big fake plastic tits upstairs. He seems deeper than that. He seems deeper. But at the end of the day, talent finds each other. Yeah. We got an audience now. It is funny to be like,

honey, I gotta go watch this documentary on Dylan's, February 1962, these are some underground bootleg tapes on Dylan. I think this one. And then go common your car, your waifu's made out of car parts. Yeah. Yeah.

Go common your Chevy and Polo wife. Yeah, your wife that's made out of recycled plastic, who used to be like the ugly duckling of the family that just got a new body and face. Yeah, your wife, if she fell overboard of a boat, would just float out to the big garbage patch of plastic in the middle of the ocean. That's where I pick them up and have my way with them

because they're dehydrated. Yeah. You're like the deadliest catch but for whores that have fallen off shipping containers. I pick them up with those big hooks that only like a little boat peep has. And the guy at the Apollo, I pick them up with those big hooks. And you turn to the rest of your shipmates, you go, we got a fucking Chinese sex slave fell off a shipping container.

We're going to be rich, boys. I throw in a pile with all the other sex slaves and they all jump on us. Yeah, you got to go, you go put them on ice. Put them on ice until we get to Houston. We're going to make a lot of money. This is a Golden Globe award winning movie. Soon to be an Oscar. This is going to win.

This might win best film. It'll probably win. It'll probably win. I have in my hands a 16 second clip from the show. I didn't know if it was real. I wanted to play it for you guys. Hello. Very nice to meet you. I'd like't know if it was real. I wanted to play it for you guys. Hello, very nice to meet you. I'd like to know about sex change operation. I see, I see, I see.

Men to women, or woman to men? Man to woman. From penis to vagina. Hello, very nice. Now, is that real? Yeah. It's real, yes. That's a real movie?

It's real. It has a Chinese doctor going, penis to vagina. That's a lemon party, Ben. Yeah, but that's not real, right? No, it's real. No, it's real. Why are they singing?

Ben, it's not only real, it's one of the clips they released to show you how good the movie is. Because I wanna know why singing, when people know they're making a worthless piece of shit that should be buried under the earth, it should be shot into space, it's so bad. Like it should never even see a computer. No one should ever have to even fucking have a file of it.

They go, let's just make them sing. Cause if you sing anything that sucks ass all of a sudden, like has to kind of be, it gets in another category. Of respect. But when I write, like Shakespeare, they did that at the Globe and in in London and everything But the shit rhymed and stuff right there was like before DEI. Oh, right. Yeah ruins plays for DEI ruined ruined music art and movies Well, I mean at this point I can't really argue with the DEI stuff is if this is the shit you're shoving down our throats

Yeah, a Chinese guyci, cutting kids' cocks off in a weird musical with a vague black lady. It almost feels like this was a thing, like the producers were like, we'll make a movie so offensive, no one will let it get made. And they just kept being like, great, he's like, we gotta have the Chinese guy

sing penis to vagina, they'll shut it down for sure. Pee in the stew vagina. Yeah, and now they'll shut it down for sure. Pee to vagina. Yeah, and now they're both crying because they're winning amazing ticket sales. Is this real? It's real. This is blowing my mind because I didn't know what the fuck they were talking about.

I thought Amelia Perez must have been like a movie about like a nanny or something. No. I have no idea, I thought it was about like a singing trans nanny that like fucks your kid or something. I don't know, I just thought. You wish. I was piecing it together last night while watching The Globes,

one of the hottest nights in Hollywood. And the stars were out. You said this movie kept winning and people were clapping confused because they didn't know what it was. No one heard of it. Yeah, nine people have seen this. It was trans people who went and said,

this is disgusting and then walked out. People were at the Globes, Googling shows on their phone going, I can't find it. Yeah, dude. I can't find this movie anywhere. Gay people hated this movie. There was guys getting fucked in the ass.

There was guys who bought tickets to go fuck a 17-year-old in the movie theater. And they're like, I mean, this is really, you know, this is not classy. Gay people are bringing tire irons to the theater, and they're beating the screen, calling it a faggot. Yeah, they're taking the bricks from Stonewall, they're throwing it at the movie screen.

They're dragging the DVD behind their truck. The Amelia Project. The Amelia Project. But yeah, no one, and so I, Zoe Saldana won for something called Amelia Perez last night, right? And she's sobbing, losing her fucking mind. Is that the lady in this? Yeah, that's Zoe Saldana won for something called Amelia Perez last night, right? And she's sobbing, losing her fucking mind. It's like the biggest. Is that the lady in this?

Yeah, that's Zoe Saldana. This lady right here. Yeah, that black lady. Yeah. She's good, she's a good actress. Yeah. I see, I see. But she was like, it was like watching somebody

that just won for Eat Apocalypse Now. From penis to vagina. Ha ha ha ha. Hello, very nice to meet you. I love you, dude, it's so bad. From penis to vagina. Yeah. Yeah.

And you know, it's just unfortunate, because you think that's over somehow. You think shit like this, like it just keeps coming. Well, it takes them a couple years to make the shit, right? So they're naturally two to three years behind everything. Yeah. It seems to me. They're not on the cutting edge of culture. They don't have their finger on the pulse, right?

These are the dead. Yeah. The dead are now allowed to point cameras at everything and make films. No, they don't have their finger. They have their finger on the incision. And they go, what are we chopping off? They have their finger on a kid's in a kid's ass. Mm-hmm Let's be frank. Yeah, let's be hey, let's be frank. Can I be real for a second?

What happens in this movie? They just cut kids cocks off the whole time and give them hormone Yeah, she wants preschools with like tranquilizers. Yeah, it's John way She actually kids actually she leaves the cartel to become trans so she can do more damage to children Yeah, she wasn't killing enough Mexican children in the cartel. So she had to become just a trans person. They're trying to create a trans Yao Ming in it. Like a lab experiment person. Yeah, she comes out Chinese and the doctor's like,

I thought you wanted this. Truly have no idea, but it kept winning all night. And I go, oh, this is classic. Classic awards season is what I said to myself. The stars are out. The stars are out. I go, it's the award. I go, tis the season.

You swirling Burnett's vodka. I'm walking in your house. Because there's always a movie every year that no one's seen or heard of that wins everything for some, for God knows what. The Coda. The Coda movie. The Coda, the deaf one.

You can see the actors Googling the movie to see that it's real. They Google it and they go, oh fuck, I'm in that movie. Ah shit. But then they go, I'm trying to download the app to watch it, I can't find it. Yeah, yeah. What is Devon's joke?

I downloaded AutoZone, the app. Yeah, you gotta go on AutoZone.com to watch these shows. Yeah, you have to buy a Newton from the 90s to watch the show. You have to go to a tire shop. You have to buy a newton from the 90s to watch the show. You have to go to a tire shop. You have to be a member of the rewards program for Sweet Green to watch half these shows. Chick-fil-A's churning out films, by the way.

Every time I walk into Chick-fil-A, they have a new poster for a new film. What, really? Is that true? Yeah, Chick-fil-A TV, it's on your Chick-fil-A Rewards app. You can watch movies and television on there. Man, I'm actually so fat, you're watching the Chick-fil-a TV. It's on your chick flavor wards app. You can watch in movies and television on there man I'm actually so fine. You're watching the chick-fil-a TV You're so fat. You're like I want to watch food on my TV Are they the ones making that Zachary Levi autism kid trailer I see every time I go into the phone

Yeah, man, the bravest little boy or whatever exactly. I remember the guy remember when he was like he made shazam Or was it called shame? It was like he was like in her drive-through of Starbucks like begging for money and like Telling people play like asking people to see it. Please see it And then he like I think he went really like MAGA. Uh-huh. Oh really and then I think he went on Club Random and And then I think he went on Club Random. And then. And I guess I was making Chick-fil-A shows or something. That's his villain origin story.

He begged for money on the side of the 405 and then he went on Club Random after going mega. Yeah, yeah, he's holding up a cardboard sign that says, should Sam too bombed? So I don't have a career now. Poor guy. Yeah, but he's doing those like Kevin Sorbo movies where it's like, you know, God's not real type of shit.

I thank God for friends like Devin, otherwise I wouldn't know the Globes are going on. I thought it was the Oscars. I didn't even finish the whole thing. I left in the middle and went and saw The Brutalist like a real Hollywood hack. But yeah, no, I love tuning into an award show. It's a train wreck, it's great.

Train wreck. I get to look at people like, I used to kind of know that person. Fuck you! I stand in front of my chair and go, fuck you! Yeah, vodka hits the floor. Fuck you! I look like John Bernthal in The Punisher.

It's personal for you too, because you're like, I'll never bring you your juice on Postmates again. You hack. Those days are over for me. Exactly, exactly. But I'm always worried it'll start up again. And you're going to have to start bringing Shake Shack to Seth Rogen again.

Then I'll be delivering food to a valet and asking him, can you bring this to Seth? Can you bring this milkshake to Sarah Silverman? But I also want to ask her to test. Can you tell Seth that we used to do open mics together and maybe I could come back and see the show? I just, it's just so fun, I just laugh. It just makes me laugh.

I love when something that like a bad thing wins and the whole team goes up there and everyone has the best cast and the best crew. And we have the best crew, just the best. And so then I like to tweet like vague death threats on It's fun. I can't wait for you because I've already been wellness checked already at the FBI at my door your day is coming buster Oh, no No

What is this? So this this movie here this won the Golden Globe for best. This is about this lady She's designing a Chinese guy This is about this lady. She's designing a Chinese guy. She's designing a Yao Ming Chinese guy in a lab. They're gonna create the ultimate guide to stop the school shootings before they can turn the kids trans. Yeah, exactly.

They wanna go and give all the kids hormone therapy before they get shot by one of their peers. Yeah, exactly. That's the idea, really. Yes. That's why libs are sad about school shootings Yeah, exactly. That's the idea really. Yes. That's why libs are sad about school shootings. They haven't even got the transition yet. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Just the way it is with these libs. Just the way it is with these libs. Let me tell you, that's the way it goes. I mean, at this rate, I mean, what do you, you want your daughter to grow up to be Hawk Dua? Nah, my watch. Well, I mean, you know,

I'd rather than be a gremlin. Schools these days, you got first period woke class, second period transitioning. I'd rather my daughter work at box lunch at the mall. I'd rather my daughter sell key chains for people to put on their backpack. And be bad at it. And get fired from that job.

And get replaced with one of the retarded guys in a work program. Yeah. Well, thanks for confirming that's a real thing. Yeah, I didn't know. I never heard of it till last night, and it won everything. Selena Gomez is in the fucking movie.

And she is talentless. Yeah, she's like the third biggest billy in the movie. She's truly, she's like a parrot tits that has some sort of disease where she's tired all the time and somehow is in, she's cast in shows. She has sleepy tit syndrome. She has sleepy tit syndrome. She goes, my tit's so sleepy.

Her tits are Mexican. Yeah, my titties are Mexican, they're so sleepy. And she sleeps under the shade of her own tit that she folds in. This lazy tits? Yeah. And she's banging this like, like this really famous music producer

that looks like one of Andre the Giant's like turds. Yeah, he looks like Jewish mucus. It looks like you shaved your pubes on top of a turd. He called him Jewish mucus. He looks like, He looks like, Fuck you. He looks like, he looks like, he looks like if the mucinex germ was Jewish. Mucomen's.

That's Benny Blanco. Yeah. And it just pisses everyone off that he's with like a pair of tits like Selena's. I mean, no, the tits are fake. Kendall Jenner's tits are fake. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

she got fat and got giant tits. Selena's are real. Yeah. Really? I broke into her place one night and I thought, let me grab him. I shot her with a trank gun. You just slapped her around. It was like transporting a bear to a different zoo.

You were... Are you... Oh, you put the tits, you wrap the tits in a tarp like a chamu. I took her to a specialist, I go, Doc, are these real? You go, nice. I go, okay. I gotta get her back in her room.

You wanna rape her real quick? You're working deep undercover for Mr. Skin. Yeah. Somehow though, the most cringe thing this whole week is this new black rifle coffee ad. Jace drove me over here from my place, you know I don't have a car. Jace drove me from my place. I watched Ben's daughter while he was making

Brett Gellman porn. I did have a very weird dichotomy. It was great watching your daughter, it was the first time I got to do it by myself and I was just reading her a book and I go, the cow says, and then she goes, moo, and I go, that's right, and then I just know you're on your phone.

Making you butt fucking Brent Gellman videos across town. And I had this weird almost, I had this weird almost like, like Hitler's accountant moment or something. Like how is this such an ordinary moment for such a weird individual? So Jason Jason drove me over here and I showed Jace this commercial and he almost swerved off of the I got really one Oh one just was so mad. He turned fuck you. You look like grimace you know in fucking D No, you literally showed me the commercial,

I was going, fucking god damn it! I was like hitting my steerer wheel. Have you seen this yet, Devin? The black rifle coffee ad? It really sucks my ass. Yeah. And I'll let you watch it, and I'll let you know what got me really mad.

In this month's CCS, we have the Joyner die roast. This is a lactic fermentation process from Columbia. This tabby varietal literally translates to good. I spritz water on 15 grams of coffee and then grind at 800 micron. After grinding the coffee, I rinse my filter and preheat my brewing kit. Uniform grind and stable temperatures

translate to consistent cups. After dosing our coffee, we'll bring our water to 200 degrees Fahrenheit. Then do a 45 mil bloom at 45 seconds. Next, I bring the water to 210 mil. So this is supposed to be like 195 degrees. Is this so they... 194, 195. There you go. seconds next I bring the water to 200 Increases extract one ninety four one hundred five cups with buttery texture and cream there you go now You're all ready to blow yourself up in your test

Now you're ready to kill your wife homies do yourself a favor and get in your Cybertruck driver Trump Tower I just got so mad when I realized he was dressed like the guy from Sicaria. Yes. He looks just like he was doing He's doing the Sicaria thing. I'll show it again. It made me so mad, I was screaming, you might as well be in a hotel dressed like a furry getting fucked in the ass. Because why are you doing this?

That sucks my ass. Why are you doing adult dress up, you faggot? Basing his entire personality around the Sicaria guy. And they look like somebody that would bang Lena Dunham in Girls. They don't even, they look like fucking like hipsters. I know that's the thing is they belong in Brooklyn. Yeah.

Just go to Brooklyn. Go to Brooklyn. Well, Jace, we were talking about how like these guys, it's no different from Comic-Con. Yes. Just dress up like a Power Ranger, go get fucked in the ass in San Diego somewhere. There's no difference.

You're not hard. No. This isn't hard shit. You're, this is the same as being like a Beyblader in a like card trading shop at the mall Dressing up with like horns and like weird foxtails and yeah, no plugs. You're still basing your personality around this fan You go I'm an American badass and by that I mean I bet I picked one out of 15 personalities to be and I'm bad now Everything about that. They all love to be the and I'm that now. Everything about that is me. They all love to be the Sicario guy.

They love the Sicario guy. It's so gay. You know why they love the Sicario guy? Because he's the whitest looking member of that team. They can't even go, I'm Benicio del Toro in Sicario, who's much cooler. By the way, they go, I have to be the white nerdy guy in Sicario.

Because he looks like Weezer. Yeah, because he vaguely, because that's the thing, is they have the call of being gay. They want to be gay at anime conventions or Comic Con or at DJ sets in some Brooklyn warehouse, but they're trapped in this fucking prison they built for themselves. The tattoos on their hands the the big thick black glasses

Mm-hmm it really sucks my ass. I've never had black rifle coffee. It might be really good John brought some over one time. It's I hated it taste like good taste of like mud It's the highest I kind of like the mud shit, but it's the highest like caffeine you can get in coffee. Yeah, yeah But it's only for me American badass Yeah, yeah, but it's only for me American bad He kind of makes you go like I guess we just should start like we should be at war these guys really want to go Do it these guys they want to go kill people they can't wait to stay up Oh, they think war means they like get in their cyber truck And they like fly to Iraq and they drink coffee and just shoot babies all day

I don't know, we obviously, these guys really wanna go to war. And they don't have the opportunity. So instead they just drive around like Austin like showing how to make like lactic coffee or whatever the fuck that was. Just hoping a homeless guy doesn't understand what they're saying enough to shoot him.

They do, they wanna land in like Afghanistan and get like off the plane and they're like, okay, I'm here to kill the illegal immigrants. Where are they? And they go, well we're- I'm gonna snipe illegals. Yeah, they go, well we're technically the illegal immigrants, yeah.

This is just an audition video for- Who's not an American. Yeah. You're going down. These are audition videos for PsyOps. This guy might as well have his resume underneath this tweet to the CIA Like please blow me up next

Please use me. I feel like Batman or halo. Yeah, I feel like fucking halo right now. It's fucking rad By the way guilty you got me I want a cyber truck I want I want a gun too I asked my wife for things she goes maybe next year, maybe work a little harder, make some more sketches, get the show rolling a little bit, get some excitement and some enthusiasm, then you can buy an AR-15, then you can buy a Cybertruck. You can buy all these things.

Then you could text her. Yeah, then you could text her where you are. I feel like fucking Judge Dredd, then you could text her where you are Then I feel like I feel like fucking truck judge dread then you blow up an arrow on Batman or halo. Yeah The other thing that I don't know if you guys have I Loved how mad Jace got at that is this thing. I've been laughing at all. I haven't seen this though. This is, apparently there's a rabbit hole of TikTok bro country. Okay. Which, I'm not allowed to watch TikTok in my house,

it's a rule I've set for myself. I've also deleted Instagram because it just keeps showing me dead babies. Yeah, I'm off TikTok, but I can't say no to the dead baby stuff. Pfft. Pfft. It just, my phone gets me.

What do you mean your phone's showing you dead babies on Instagram? It just shows me dead babies in cribs, dead mean your phone's showing you dead babies on Instagram? It just shows me dead babies in cribs, dead babies. Jesus. And then it shows me videos of 18 wheelers running over people and killing them. It's a... Is it because you just searched so much dad shit

on your phone? No, because as soon as it starts with a frame of like this baby died or whatever, I'm like, Jesus! There's so much. And I can't scroll off of it. You're like, it overdosed on heroin. They show me stuff like that.

There's so much death on my phone when I leave the house I'm surprised anyone's around. I wake up every day and I leave my place and I might be the last man on earth. Cause your algorithm is people getting their heads blown. It's nonstop, the worst things I've ever seen. I go to a farmer's market on a nice Sunday morning, I have a panic attack cause it's just a pleasant day and people are, families are walking around, I go to a farmer's market on a nice Sunday morning, I have a panic attack, because it's just a pleasant day,

and people are, families are walking around, I have to look up Gaza footage on my phone. And I hold that over my eyes while I walk around. Just to feel normal. I don't really care for the Gaza footage anymore. I don't actually do that. I like the domestic, I like the home front. I like what's going on here.

You're an r slash public freakouts guy. Yeah, I'm like, what happened? I heard there was 11 killed in Queens. How come we haven't had that video yet? I'm a little over fucking, you know, Abdullah in New Orleans, and I'm over the Black Rifle Coffee retard in Vegas. What happened to that shooting in Queens?

That happened the same day. Excuse me. We had a hell of a start to the year. What happened to the year. What happened? 2025, January 1st, what are you talking about? 12 people in Queens were shot. There was like 11 people in Queens shot later that night, but none of us cared because we were all jazzed up

on that damn muzzy in New Orleans. Well, Devin, it's been a long time since we've had a good old fashioned Muslim terrorist at that. Psy-op. Yeah, exactly. No, Devin, it's been a long time since we've had a good, old-fashioned Muslim terrorist attack. Yeah, Psyop. Yeah, exactly. No, not a Psyop. No, no, totally genuine.

A terrorist attack. Those guys, it always comes out that those guys are like, they're brown, like you see the head shot, and their name is like Mr. ISIS. And like the left on Twitter is like, okay, hold on, we don't have enough information yet. We don't know why he did this. He could not be Muslim. He was on a prayer rug facing west,

but it could be a coincidence. We don't know. But then guys on the right were like, I'm glad I killed that Muslim kid last summer. But he converted to Islam like four months earlier. Oh, did he? I think so, yeah, cause he was just like a fucking. Yeah, cause he was like a real estate agent

or something, right? He just looked like one of those classic guys in like Houston that's like, you know, he's like a Middle Eastern, but he like loves shrimp. Yeah. He's just a Houston guy. Houston guy who's just like, I'm Middle Eastern, but I just love being a CPA.

Yeah, he's just lived, he's lived there his whole life. He's from like Beaumont, Texas. It's called getting MKed, dude. Like, they don't care if you just go to Buc-ee's and you smoke PCP in Port MacArthur, Texas. Like, they don't give a shit. Anybody can get MK'd. I don't know, I think they just,

they hook up something to someone's water outside their house. They monitor them for three to four months. You know, monitor their Google history. And then, I don't know what they can do at this point They might be able to like put a little van outside your home and it's like emitting like silent Sound waves like a dog whistle that's like telling you to kill the president or just gradually increasing the amount of acid in your water Heater or something. So every time you shower you're getting a little more insane

Yeah, control them. They can mold you controlling your algorithm pushing you this way that way Yeah, having the right amount of information to feed you to there's like a Walter White at Langley somewhere He's like he's like if you want a fat Muslim. Yeah, I still get him for you. Yeah, it's great a character for them Yeah, I don't like building people from scratch little drops of things into beaker. These people are droids for all I know Yeah, I know if I was an ISIS. I'd be pissed at that guy I'd be like you fucking just got your stripes I Had to earn my shit. Yeah, I'm getting me like you'd like stole a varsity jacket Yeah, that's true. He's not shit killing 12 people. He's like I'm aiming for 3,000 You know we want the big score none of this small-timer shit our Muslims are ready to play football because the ball is pigskin, right?

I know this small-timer shit. Are Muslims allowed to play football because the ball is pigskin, right? Can Muslims play football because it is pigskin, right? The thing is they all pretend they do that, so they can totally play soccer. Muslims pretend? Every Muslim I've known has just been eating bacon nonstop. Or is it Jews don't eat pork?

I don't know. What the fuck do Jews do? Jews can eat pork, but a rabbi has to molest it while it's being killed, and then but a rabbi has to molest it while it's being killed. Yeah. And then they can eat it. They molest it.

No, it has to be like a rabbi that's like, you know. He goes like, I think, I think, I think. Yeah, and then he blows the pig's brains out and then you can eat it. Right, the kosher thing. But Muslims can't eat pork at all. They're not allowed to eat pork. Yeah, no.

They're not supposed to. Or what? Or they will have to blow up the World Trade Center. But why are they allowed to blow themselves up? But they're not letting you bacon that doesn't make any sense to me And I think I'm gonna retarded American guy for not understanding a shit. No, but people go Don't you get about that can piece a shit makes perfect sense dude, you're a racist piece of shit Okay, that's true

But I'm allowed to be a racist piece of shit because I live in America. You ever think about the fact that they can kill other people because they're Muslim? And that they can't eat pork because it's haram? Yeah. Or harem. Or halal. Or halal.

Yeah. One of the H's. Or Hezbollah. They are a religion of peace. They are a religion of peace. They're a religion of peace. Well, that's a radicalized guy. There's a lot of good ones. Of what?

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. So here's what fucks me up about it, is they say, no, he's a fundamentalist Islamic guy. It's fundamentalist Islam. And I looked at that, and that means they practice the fundamentals of Islam. So what the fuck is Islam then if it's not blowing yourself to little pieces?

Well that's the thing, is every religion has a responsibility to kind of like pretend that you're doing it, but you're not. That's what I mean. Yeah, you're supposed to one foot in, one foot out. You're not supposed to really be like that, perhaps. Yeah, yeah, like when we were Christian growing up, we didn't like, we couldn't like,

if mom had a period and she sat on a chair, we could still sit on the chair, you know what I mean? Like you have to just pretend you're doing the fucking shit. Like the Muslim extremists. Oh, you're not allowed to sniff your mom's seat if you're Christian. Yeah. When she stands up.

Yeah, you're not allowed to fuck your mom if she's on her period. Any other time, it's fine. Muslim extremists have like, they're like, that's like a guy who like paints his face on Sunday to like watch like his favorite NFL game. The Ravens. Yeah, he's got the foam finger, like that's the America guy who paints his face on Sunday to watch his favorite NFL game. The Ravens? Yeah, he's got the foam finger,

like that's the meta guy, yeah! Yeah. Yeah. A big turban made out of the cheese head material. Exactly. They do the, yeah, they do the bottom bad leap. I guess I'll just never get to the bottom of it because every time I look into Islam,

it seems retarded, but then there's a lot of people online. They're like no, it's actually a peaceful beautiful thing and then Hey everybody when there's a great exercise to cancel all your plans Start gaming and cozy up with your turtle Beach headset turtle Beach is new gen 3 stealth 700 headset is insane. It picks up such crystal clear sound You'll be able to hear every footstep, every reload, and every enemy trying to sneak up on you. Ben, I know you have two, not one, two

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You get on Halo too, and you just start blowing people up on that Warthog. Oh yeah. You love the sound quality? Oh yeah, I love getting in the big cyber trunk in Halo and going Batman mode. And going Batman mode outside the Trump plaza in Halo 2. Which I built in Halo 4.

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New year, new gaming gear. Look, you can grow up and you can really, I mean, get down to your roots here. You haven't played this video I can guarantee both these people have been molested. I'm gonna be a real life, this shoes and ride is crammed when you get home. Yeah. It's but not. What, this is, they look retarded. I see this though. Big back room.

This is Brooks and Downs. I see that, I see those guys. And I think I'd rather try to hang out with like Little Dirk and his friends. I'd rather go on adventures. I think I'd rather get killed by little Dirk. You'd rather big lurch eat your arm. Yeah, I'd rather have like a year and a half

with Chief Keef and his boys before they gang rape me and throw me in a ditch. Before they finally get tired of your antics, yeah. And Alpha Dog you? No, dude, I'd rather be on a back road with those two. With those two guys? With guys who have not worked up the confidence to rape their first woman Guys who are that lame?

It's with those guys you think it is rape because the women are usually so drunk they can't consent anyway So it's not like your classic rape like they're just drunk blobs in a truck like kind of going okay Well in that case, it's totally not right. Well, I so here's what I your classic rape. Like they're just drunk blobs in a truck like kinda going at it. Okay, well in that case it's totally not rape. So here's what I understand about rape, now correct me if I'm wrong. If you're inebriated and the woman's inebriated and you guys, you know, she gargles your balls, you fuck her in the ass, she sucks your dick, you guys, do whatever, right?

She can wake up with regret and accuse you of rape. But can you accuse her of rape? No. See, that's the, so I don't, so clearly there is a paradigm. There is, but it's because we stick, we shove something in them. I do have a theory that that's what all sexual dynamics

come down to. We go into them. We go into them, so. They're defiled by something we stick in them. Yeah. But a mouth, what is more violent than a big mouth swallowing somebody, right? Like a big mouth opening up and, ta!

The jaw, some of the stick. If my dick came off like a bee sting, I would agree with you, but I just pull it right out and it's fine. I guess. To me, it's much more vulnerable to be a guy. You're sticking your mouth in a woman's penis, she has teeth, she could cut them off with the with a big chop

Hey, I agree and I've been working on a number of different legislations to make it So we could change turn this thing around you're on C-SPAN Yeah But yes, it's cuz we like we attack them Mm-hmm We stick a sharp cock in there. I do think if the genitalia was reversed, it would create a lot of different dynamics

with sex and stuff. If women had penises? Even the thing where if women fuck a lot, they're like a whore, they're ruined. If a guy fucks a lot, it doesn't mean anything because he's just sticking his dick in stuff and then it's his dick. She's getting her stupid pussy stretched out every time.

And if they don't like it, they can't defend them. We can beat them to death Yeah, if we're stronger. Yeah, so like it's just it's just it's just just the way it is I guess It's the way the law of the land. You know yeah Yeah, I guess you'll really risk anything to play with them titties, huh? We should do like weigh-ins before people have sex and then we could then so that was like well You can't charge him with right yeah Yeah, he didn't make weight. You guys weigh the same.

So you starve yourself for four days before you fuck a woman to get into a certain weight class before you got a treadmill. Guys who actually, they die, kidneys fail because they're trying to rape and they just can't cut the weight. They tried to- They tried to legally rape.

They're trying to legally rape and then they're in the sauna and they're like, I don't know, and they you figure out they died Cuz they're getting you shut down cuz it was just too much weight to lose Yeah Yeah, then you got to rehydrate you come back two days later and then you rape her when you're back up to the yeah The weight anyway. Yeah. Mm-hmm Yes, sir. Cuz like we have a stinger. Yeah

We have a weapon if you get stung by a bee, you don't go, you don't like. I guess, but isn't a penis like a worm, really? Like it's kind of, there's not much. Even the most evil man to ever live, his penis is still at the end of the day, it's like an earthworm. Like a bird, if I died, a bird would come and like peck at my dick and pull it, like it's a worm trying to come out of the ground

Well, they're really like if I die like a cat would eat my dick. It's not a Meanwhile though if like a porcupine died like nothing could even eat the porcupine after it's dead It was still lay there with its sharp needle dicks are they're really goofy until they're not They're a threat to security, but I guess that's kind of why God made us that way so we can be coy a little bit. They grow. Oh, I'm just a worm. They grow. I'm just a soft little cuddly worm.

They turn into the Hulk. Rip a shirt off. Yeah, you rip a condom secretly having sex. Let's get this bit on Crystal Lea's desk in 2017. Obviously it has to be pretty good. And Chris goes, he goes, wait goes wait wait wait. What is rape? I'm lost on the this what is that your time traveling you're doing back to the future, but with crystal Yeah, Chris. Hey, you know that assault you've been dreaming of Well

patreon.com slash lemon party If we let this one go to like an hour 50, I'm afraid Oh, yeah Who knows who knows we're all hungry we had to eat Dune before we this was a big one here patron.com slash lemon party everybody This was a big week for and honestly I'm had I have star fatigue because the stars The stars were out. It was like a meteor shower, all these stars.

Dancing across the sky. Oh, how the stars did fall that night. We had Selena Gomez, we had Benny Blanco, many more. Many more. Great tits out in the crowd, though. Amazing breasts everywhere. Fantastic fake tits on Timothy Chalmers girlfriend Great so I understand is the Kardashian girl the Kardashian ever every year. I can't recognize them

She literally used to look like shit. She was ugly. Yeah, and then just got she should be an Amelia Perez It should be about just making her her new pussy. They took her to a body shop. Yeah Buffed her out. Mm-hmm They took her to a body shop. Yeah. Buffed her out. Mm-hmm. They took her to like OC choppers. And that guy with the big mustache screamed into her pussy. And buffed her out? Yeah, buffed her out. He screamed at his fat sons that they weren't making her pussy tight enough.

And he goes, and then his son goes, God damn it, don't you tell me how to make pussy. And he goes, you have no idea what you're talking about. Just buffing her out like she's a muffler. Yeah, buffing her out, putting a spider-man stencil on her pussy Spray painting it in damn. That would be awesome. Yeah big web on her pussy. Yeah, that would be so awesome I'm pimp my cunt. Let me tell you something Devin Nothing is cooler to someone who was raised very like conservative Christian If you told me that there was a woman with a big web on her pussy

I would like leave my wife to me like a tattoo like a tattoo of a big web like trashy like that shit that if you grew up super Christian that is like oh she isn't ear piercing it's great like she's really twisted and fucked up mmm yeah and crap really out there yeah yeah like oh she's like the bride of Chuckie yeah oh wow no I know she works at hot like a suicide girl yeah exactly I fucked a out there. Yeah. Like, oh, she's like the bride of Chucky. Yeah. Oh, wow. She works at Hot Topic. Like a suicide girl. Yeah, exactly.

I fucked a lady with a cow skull tattoo on her chest, and I didn't know that until I was fucking her. And I was fighting not to come, and also the urge to bash her head in, because she was a sinner. She looked like the yellow king. Just naturally. Did she have a cow skull?

She had a cow, like a cow skull with the horns, or a steer skull. Okay, gotcha. Tattooed across her. Like a UT. Yeah, like a UT skull with like the horns or a steer skull. Okay, tattooed Across like a UT. Yeah like a UT but this the actual skull itself Tattooed across her dead bevo her giant tits and I It was good for me. That's all I'll say. It's a weird strange tattoo ladies shouldn't be allowed to get their own tattoos They're pretty bad at it. Usually they should take their husbands or their dads to get them tattoos. Mm-hmm. Yeah Not good at it usually they should take their husbands or their dads to get them tattoos. Yeah Not good at it

Yeah, that's that's the ultimate lady for conservative guys like it's you know How tiger like fuck like cocktail waitresses that were like fours mm-hmm like that was just kind of you wanted like trashy Yeah, yeah, why those yeah hoes I get it You want that because you go like, oh finally, they don't give a shit. Like they just. That's what it is, no pressure. No pressure, they'll just.

I don't have to make a home for this woman. I don't have to beg for candy. They're just throwing candy. I don't have to mow the lawn. I just have to not put my cigarette out on her. And I'm the greatest boyfriend she's ever had. Men get off of that because you think it's so difficult to have sex, like I gotta wine and dine them

and there's the do I go in for the kill, all that shit. When the whores, you just go like, oh my God, you're like Santa for pussy. Oh my God, you're like Santa and I just immediately lost respect for you in my soul. You're worthless. Because I've got weird fucked up shit in my body. And if there's any weird issue here,

I'll dump your body in a lake. Oh, you fucked me. I immediately view you as something I'm just passing through. You're just a town I'm passing through, friend. I make you sleep above a woodchipper that's on forever. I love you so much. Our personalities mesh well together, but you fucked me very quickly, so I'm just passing through.

Into the woodchipper for you. Yeah You kill her Fargo. She starts arguing with yeah with you. Not even that she she just says something kind of like Like she doesn't respond to a joke you tell it then and you're like, well, you're done. Well, I'm killing you like it's Fargo Yeah, how about that? It's the end of Fargo for you. Yeah Drive her up to like a snowy hill Yeah, we got the wood chipper going and then you got a drag her by the hair. Yeah kicking to the stuff You're still a big retard yeah Yeah, big Russian retard who loves pancakes.

And then Fransik Mithdorma drives up and she sees you just pushing the last bit of her, which is her pussy, into the woodshed. I guess that's how a lot of guys do it, is they find a hoe and if she has kind of a bad day once, you just get rid of her. Yeah. And you just find another hoe.

Yeah, that's what a lot of people do. I'm, women do that too. They're just like, well here's. Yeah. And you just find another hoe. Yeah, that's what a lot of people do. I'm like women do that too. They're just like, well here's a retarded guy I can fuck and he's very well-maintenance. I guess it's like a disposable contact in a way. Yeah, and then they're like. We just take it to once a day. Yeah, exactly.

It's a dick that shares the rent with me or it's a pussy who splits my rent and I can fuck her and then one day I'll meet the true love of my life and then I'll kick this bozo to the street immediately. A one-use pussy. Yeah, exactly. That's sad, man. Yeah, not a buy for life.

That's sad. Yeah. Lot of players out there. Issues can arise, though. Lot of players. Issues can arise, you know, they'll, they can get really into you. Mm-hmm, which is disgusting. And then they can kill you, you know, when you try and be like, no, but I'm onto the next one.

Like the Skip Bayless thing, that's what's going on here. That's what we got with Skip. No, not really. I don't think Skip even fucked her. What, I thought we were on Skip's side. Yeah, yeah, but he did offer a woman $1.5 million to fuck her. Oh, that's real?

Yeah. Apparently. That's the opposite of getting pussy. Yeah, he's a huge fag. Yeah offering a mansion in the fort of keys He takes one shot at plus he takes pictures in his kitchen in Dallas wearing Jordans in a suit Yeah, he's there. He stands like an autistic child shitting himself He goes I won't let Shannon get the best of me today. He also claims he's claimed that he has not missed a workout in 25 years, Skip Bayless. That he's done at least one hour of cardio every single day of his life.

Jesus, really? Yeah, he's also a known sociopathic liar. He made up a rumor that Troy Aikman was gay just so he could write a book about it. He wrote a whole book about Troy Aikman being a gay guy? Yeah, he literally told Jerry Jones' daughter, he goes, I heard this rumor that Troy Aikman's gay, and she's like, oh my God.

And then like a month later, he's like, hey, you remember that rumor about Troy Aikman? And she's like, what, that he's gay? And he goes, you said it. And then he used her as like an anonymous insider that said Troy Aikman was gay. Yeah. And then Troy Aikman got the ultimate revenge

by buying Wingstop. By buying Wingstop, he says. And making the best ranch ever known to man, which is very similar to cum, so maybe he is a homo. Maybe he is. Because they have great ranch over there. I don't know what Troy Aikman did when he got to the headquarters of Wingstop,

but he said, make me some damn ranch. Skip ass like checkmate. Checkmate. I got him right where I want him. You fell into the fool's gambit. Checkmate. We got him now. Skip trying the ranch at Wingstop. We got him, this is 100% calm. Wingstop's ranch, the secret is Troy Aikman's calm.

Is Troy Aikman's CTE riddled? The sperm has CTE. The sperm is shooting itself in the chest. That's so funny. That's so funny, he wants to own Wink Stops so he can come in the ranch. Hall of Fame Dallas Cowboy. And a famed announcer, Troy Aikman,

jerking off into a big vat of ranch. That's the kind of gay he of ranch in a warehouse and just going like, Joe, you know you gotta appreciate moments like this. Dude, he's hooked up to those milking machines that Peterson got really mad about. He's giving his life force for the ranch at Wingstock. Yeah, and Joe Buck's there just watching. And Ed Buck. Yeah, and Joe Bucks they're just watching And Joe Bucks like 25% left 20% left 15 10

5 And he's dead. He's dead at the goal line balls draining Yeah, yeah, I'll do a birthday at Wingstop. I don't give a shit. Honey badger. Don't give it care That Elon thing? Sorry Sir Elon spoke through me for a moment. Praise Kekius Maximus. Concerning. The coolest guy in the world to be,

it has the personality of one of the Coneheads, I think. Dan Aykroyd in the Coneheads. The coolest guy in the world. Is the coolest guy in the world. The coolest guy in the world is that there's a guy stealing 4chan culture from 2015. Kekius Maximus. Kekius Maximus.

It's so gay. Did you see those threads where he's like, he's like LOL Elon will buy this site and turn it into the ultimate Kek-lan and people are like shut up faggot. Who said that? He goes we need, he goes no more negativity on this app and then somebody like said something about him

and he goes F you retard He sucks so much ass Yeah, I guess we start gotta start being positive about him though. Yeah Lord musk Lord my mr. Dittman. He's so unlikable. He's the only thing that could ever lower Trump's popularity Yeah, that's the power of how much he's I can't wait for the day Trump calls him a faggot on True Social. It'll come. It's coming.

His days are numbered. And he keeps walking around with this little kid on his shoulders so he doesn't get assassinated. Yeah, so he doesn't get blown to pits. It's like this country gives a shit about children. They'll kill the kid first, then them. Yeah, they'll be like, all right, well, the kid will weigh him down.

Yeah. You make some slow. Slow getaway, yeah. All right, well Patreon.com slash Lemon Party, God bless everybody. First show of 2025, off to a rock star start. Rock star, off to the races as they say. Are you guys, do you guys have any New Year's resolutions

you wanna share before we get out of here? I never do a resolution. Jase, resolutions. My goal is to jack off every day this year. Not miss a single day. Clocking in. Yeah. So far I'm-

You have one of those little clocks that chess players have when you beat off. I got under five minutes, yeah. So, that's my goal. Yeah, I don't really have any goals either I want to stop being overweight, but other than that Yeah, New Year's making New Year's goals is hack like at least wait till February then make your goals You know my New Year's resolution is I'm not I'm finally gonna stop. I'm not gonna let Native American people get off the hook And I'm really I'm gonna take them to task. I

High time the hook. I'm really going to take them to task. We've let them off on this high time. Somebody cut them down to size. I'm going to start. They got all hoity toity on their reservations. I'm going to start holding Indian people to a higher standard. By the way, can we on the patron, can we watch the video of the Indian guy eating his child's diarrhea off the ground? He's licking it off the floor. Of course. All right all right. I would be mad if we don't enough with Indians already They're really like I think this is like a siah like they're they're they're dominating our dialogue

With the h1bs and the diarrhea. I keep seeing videos of them eating poop off the floor. Yeah I mean how many poop jokes can we fucking make? Well, we gotta make them Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, it's like at this point we're just talking about like Michael Phelps swimming. This is what these people do. It's what they do. Every day there's a new shit eating comp. I saw an Indian guy with his three year old

and the three year old had a blown out diaper and then the diarrhea was leaking down the kid's leg onto the ground, the dirty ground. It's like child born. And he was getting down and he was putting his hand in the diaper and then licking the diarrhea off his fingers and licking it off the ground like a dog. And all of his family was clapping and cheering.

I didn't know the diaper was on the child. I don't wanna watch that. Yeah. They're all, I don't even know if they're pedophiles for the power of it, like taking the kid's innocence. I think they just are into the piss and shit play. They're gut biome pedophiles. They rape the bacteria in their stomach.

They have fecal transplants every day. They become pedophiles to do fecal transplants. Yeah, Huberman's actually studying India. He's like, the probiotic health is off the charts. I don't think they have pedophiles over there. I don't think pedophiles are a word in their culture. I think it's just like- Like how Eskimos have a thousand words for snow, they have zero for pedophilia.

I think, dude, I think what it is, it's like, I think it's just like the Wild Wild West over there, except there's no trains or horses. It's just poop. It's Wild Wild West if it was just people building that railroad and that's there's nothing else Yeah building a railroad for no reason no No, no, it's actually they're building a railroad so they can just walk across it into the ocean and die Right into the San Francisco Bay, it's hard to believe that there's one point like two billion people in India and none of them matter Mmm crazy to believe that there's 1.2 billion people in India and none of them matter. Crazy, huh?

Oh my god. I'm Ben Avery. That's been all. God bless you. Devon Costa, Jace Avery, I'm Ben Avery. That's been the first show of 2025. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Polina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina Wicked and evil while casting a spell I love Oz deep for this Mexican lane I was in love but in vain I could tell One night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind