Let's Go To Court! - 68: The Day Care Shooter & Misery at Taco Bell
Episode Date: May 8, 2019It was a typical Thursday morning for Rusty Sneiderman. He woke up, had breakfast with his son Ian, and then dropped his son off at Dunwoody Day Care. But as Rusty left the day care, a man approached ...him. With chilling resolve, the man shot Rusty four times. Witnesses couldn’t believe what they’d just seen. By the time police arrived on the scene, the killer was long gone. But it didn’t take too long to determine that the killer was a man named Hemy Neuman. Hemy, it turns out, was Rusty’s wife’s boss at General Electric. Hemy was in love with Andrea. That much was certain. But did she love him back? And what role — if any — did she play in her husband’s murder? Then Brandi gets revenge on Kristin. Last week, Kristin told a horrifying tale about a dog being murdered. So this week, Brandi attacks the one thing Kristin holds dear — her beloved Taco Bell. It was the summer of 2006 in Provo, Utah, when Ryan Klinkenbeard stopped for lunch at Taco Bell. He ordered a cheesy gordita crunch, a bean burrito, a taco supreme, and a Diet Pepsi. He noticed the bean burrito tasted a little funky, but didn’t think much of it. But hours later, when the rumble in Ryan’s stomach grew to a roar, he knew something was terribly wrong. Stay tuned till the end, folks. You won’t want to miss it. And now for a note about our process. For each episode, Kristin reads a bunch of articles, then spits them back out in her very limited vocabulary. Brandi copies and pastes from the best sources on the web. And sometimes Wikipedia. (No shade, Wikipedia. We love you.) We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the real experts who covered these cases. In this episode, Kristin pulled from: The 20/20 episode, “Angels and Demons” “Retrial of day care shooter may lack drama,” by Christian Boone for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution “Sneiderman lawyer: New trial is needed,” by Christian Boone for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution “Convicts attorneys encouraged,” by Christian Boone for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution “Sides settle in death lawsuit,” by Christian Boone for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Transcript
Discussion (0)
One semester of law school. One semester of criminal justice. Two experts. I'm
Kristen Caruso. I'm Brandi Egan. Let's go to court. On this episode I'll talk about
a shooting outside a daycare. And I'll be talking about Kristen's worst nightmare.
Oh no, is this revenge? Ooh, is it? Oh no. I go this week, so I guess you'll just have to wait and find out.
Is this like an author who never gets her book published ever?
Oh, no.
I don't know.
Thanks a lot.
I don't know what it could be.
Well, that's just a lie.
All right.
I want to start just like right off the top.
I just want to address something real quick
that's been eating you eating me alive okay we never talk about our reviews on the podcast we
talk about how we want we want them and that's it but honestly i think it's kind of tacky and
we just don't do it but i think this needs to be addressed we've gotten a few reviews lately
that um are actually very complimentary about the podcast
but people say that they are hate my laugh that i ruin the podcast that it's loud i laugh into
the mic whatever here's the deal folks my laugh is my laugh it's who i fucking am if you don't
like it i'm sorry don't fucking listen i you know i'm not trying to be rude I can't change who I am
for this podcast so could you try though no I think I think that's the thing like you know
obviously we've known each other since elementary school yeah the laugh is you it's a part of you
and like yeah yeah it is who I am I'm I very sorry. I know that it's not for everyone.
And while I would love for everyone to listen to and enjoy our podcast, this is me.
Take it or leave it.
That's all I have to say about that.
Oh, well, I have lots more to say about.
OK, no, I really don't.
No, it's just, you know, Norman.
Norman gave us some good advice.
He said, if you ain't got no haters, you ain't popping.
That's right.
Which is something that he wrote himself.
That's right.
He came up with that phrase.
But no, the other thing I would say is, like, I've got, like, I got the vibe from some reviews that people thought it was overblown.
Like, no, this is not, there's nothing fake going on here absolutely not this is you this is me yes i once pooped in a bed bath
and beyond bag and you laugh a lot this is who we are and i laugh very loudly and it's who we
fucking are so and actually you don't even laugh directly into the mic i don't yeah there somebody said please try and laugh away from the mic i fucking do so i'm
very sorry anyway anyway that's that i don't want to talk about this anymore i won't address it
again i just wanted to put it out there okay carry on on with the chlorophyll oh chlorophyll
that's a okay it's It's a Billy Madison reference.
Oh, well, it's been a long time since I saw that Adam Sandler film, which I know a lot about.
You've never seen it ever, I guarantee.
Oh, yeah?
Ask me a question.
Okay.
Would you like to know the plot?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, are you going to read it off IMDB for me real quick?
A dumb son of a very rich man goes back to school.
Why?
To prove to dad he's not a fool.
Okay.
Oh, oh.
Maybe she has seen it.
She's definitely not seen it.
Okay.
I've got a great case this week.
Okay.
And it's all thanks to Matt and lindy who emailed about the case excellent
scooped it up they even did me the favor of being like we found the 2020 episode on youtube
so they gave me the link that's amazing so just just to start this off the first part of this
is like all the 2020 episode angels and demons okay and then the next part where that episode
leaves off because it's an old episode yeah um it's basically all articles by christian boone
for the atlanta journal constitution this guy he's a local reporter he stayed on this case
for years i love it that's awesome i love it okay i'm excited this case is crazy all right it was mid-november 2010 in the suburbs of atlanta
georgia rusty snyderman was in his huge gorgeous home and really gorgeous when he noticed a man
in his backyard the guy had on a hat and earmuffs and a black mustache. Like a fake mustache?
Um, yeah, it, he didn't
say in the 911 call that
it looks like a fake mustache, but
That's the vibe you got? That's the
vibe. Okay.
And also, it looked like the guy
had a gun. Hmm.
So Rusty obviously called the cops.
He told the dispatcher
he's running. I think he has a gun He told the dispatcher, he's running.
I think he has a gun in his back pocket and now he's running away.
I don't know who the hell he is and I don't want him by my house.
It was super weird.
Yeah.
But that was that.
Police couldn't find the guy and Rusty didn't see him again in the neighborhood.
Mm-hmm.
Eight days passed.
It was November 18th, 2010.
It was a normal Thursday morning for Rusty.
He and his two-year-old son, Ian, had breakfast and then Rusty dropped Ian off at Dunwoody Prep.
I think it's Dungwoody Prep.
With a G? You think it's Dung woody? You think it's shit woody
prep? It can't be right? There's no way. Okay it's dung woody. Get your laughs in now folks because
it's about to take a turn. It couldn't possibly be dung woody. must be done, Woody. Must be something way weirder and way worse.
Okay.
So Rusty dropped Ian off at daycare,
and he walked out of the daycare and headed back to his car.
Meanwhile, all the kids were out playing on the playground,
and that's when a man approached him.
The man got within about six feet of Rusty, pulled out a gun, and shot him three times.
Then, when Rusty was down, the man knelt down, pressed the gun to Rusty's neck, and shot him a fourth time.
Holy shit.
In the...
In front of the daycare.
Holy fucking shit.
In the... In front of the daycare.
Holy fucking shit.
Then the man got up, walked back to his silver minivan, and drove off.
So the look on your face, yeah, is totally appropriate,
and that's basically how people reacted too.
They were shocked.
So some of the eyewitnesses and there were a lot
they thought they were watching something that was being filmed they thought they were watching
a movie so like people honest to god after this happened looked around for cameras oh my god
this is a very nice area it's a freaking daycare. And it looked like a weird professional hit.
Oh, my gosh.
On this, like, nice guy dropping his kid off.
It didn't take long for police and emergency workers to arrive on the scene.
But by that point, Rusty didn't have a pulse, and the killer was gone.
The daycare called Rusty's wife, Andrea, to tell her that there had been an emergency.
They told her that Rusty was being taken to the hospital.
They didn't tell her that he was dead?
No.
Okay.
It's interesting. So the 2020 episode said that he didn't have a pulse outside, but he was taken to the hospital and he was there for a long time.
So I don't, you know.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Okay.
But at any rate.
It could be that they were able to resuscitate him at some point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
But Andrea, at any rate, was told there's been an emergency.
Rusty's being taken to the hospital.
Andrea, at any rate, was told there's been an emergency.
Rusty's being taken to the hospital.
Andrea called Rusty's parents and she told them,
Rusty's been shot. I'm so, so sorry.
Rusty's dad, Don, was obviously distraught, but he was also kind of taken aback because Andrea sounded excited.
She was talking quickly and in a really high-pitched voice, not panicky, just excited.
Interesting.
Although, you never know how people are going to react under, you know, crazy circumstances.
Right.
Right.
Four days passed, and no one could find rusty's killer
and no one could figure out why anyone wanted him dead he was such a nice outgoing guy he was a
great dad to his son and daughter he was smart too he had an mba from har, and he had a great job as a wealth manager.
And things seemed great in his marriage.
Andrea had a job at General Electric, and she was really close with her boss, Hemi Newman.
Oh, no.
How close with her boss?
Well, you know, you want to have a good relationship with your boss.
Was she banging her boss?
How dare you?
Hemi was a very smart, very arrogant engineer.
Mm-hmm.
But.
Is Hemi a man?
Yeah. That name, I feel like, could go either way.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm with you there.
But he's a man.
Okay.
But were things really that great in the Snyderman's marriage probably not and probably
Andrea ordered a hit on him I'm guessing oh Brandy keep your pants on and was Andrea's relationship
with her boss purely professional no she was banging Well, you've come to a conclusion mighty quickly here.
So it depends on who you ask.
But there's one thing that everyone can agree on.
Hemi and Andrea went on a few business trips together,
everywhere from Lake Tahoe to Scotland.
And at some point after all this closeness,
Hemi became infatuated with Andrea.
But was she infatuated with him?
She says no.
Of course she says no.
She was.
Wow, you are quick.
You are quick to make a judgment.
So she says no, but a bartender who waited on them in South Carolina said that they were hanging all over each other like a couple of newlyweds and groping on the dance floor. Okay.
So you tell me.
Who was into who?
Groping on the dance floor.
Too much.
That is too much.
So now it's December 2010.
Four weeks have passed
since the shooting.
Police talk to Andrea
and they say,
look,
can you think of anyone
who might have done this?
Anyone with a motive?
Is there anyone
who's interested in you romantically?
And to that last question,
she said yes.
Her boss, Hemi Newman.
Mm-hmm.
She said Hemi had hit on her once on a business trip a long time ago.
Mm-hmm.
Police say she brought...
Forgot to mention the part where they were banging on the reg.
Oh, that is up for debate, madam.
Oh, is it?
Yes.
Yes.
That is up for debate, madam.
Oh, is it?
Yes.
So police say she kind of brought up Hemi's name, but then quickly dismissed the idea and went on to talk about other people who might have done this.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, police poured over footage from the daycare's surveillance cameras.
They determined that the killer's getaway car was a Kia Sedona.
They got the license plates and soon they figured out that it was
a rental car.
And you will never in a million
years guess who rented that
car. Hemi Newman. Well, you must be
a genius.
So police were like,
got him!
They interrogated Hemi, who for some reason did not request an attorney okay hemi and they were blunt with them they said we know you were there i mean like how much better
does that get yeah come on yeah at one point a detective told him so you know in the 2020 episode
they've got like the footage from the interrogation room, which I love.
And one of them goes, now, Hemi, you were there.
You got a man up.
And another detective goes, the jig is up.
You're our guy.
And Hemi, who is like cool as a fucking cucumber, goes, I don't see how you can place me in that.
I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not there.
I don't own a gun.
I can't explain the van.
So he just offers no explanation.
Watching this was like unreal.
Is he like leaned back in his chair with his feet up on the table?
He had a pretty casual stance.
I don't know what to tell you guys.
Might as well have been sipping a mojito.
I wasn't there.
Wish I could
help you guys out. Yeah.
So he was super chill. They interrogated
Hemi for five hours.
And he was just like,
I didn't do it. I'm not the
one. I wasn't there. He went full
on shaggy. Shaggy? Oh. It not the one. I wasn't there. He went full on shaggy.
Shaggy?
Oh.
It wasn't me. It wasn't me.
I was like.
You know what I was thinking about?
Scooby Doo.
Scooby Doo.
Yeah.
Joinks.
No.
They caught him banging on the sofa and he wasn't me.
Caught me banging on the counter.
Wasn't me. I even had her on the counter. Wasn't me.
I even had her in the shower.
Wasn't me.
They even caught me on camera.
Wasn't me.
So the interrogation didn't result in a confession.
Hold on.
I'd really love for one of our listeners to compile a list of weird songs that we reference
on this podcast.
You know what I've noticed? We have some kind of like, even if we don't fully go into something like that, one of our listeners to compile a list of weird songs that we reference on this podcast you know what i've noticed we have some kind of like even if we don't fully go into something like that one
of us will do like one little yes it could be let's go to court greatest hits that's right
so the interrogation didn't result in a confession but but then police got Emmy's phone records
and they found that he talked with a man
named Jan De Silva.
Hmm.
Jan De Silva?
No, it was Jan.
I know.
I would be saying the same thing to you
with equal sass.
When police talked to Jan,
Jan was like,
yeah, I sold that guy a handgun a little while ago.
Nice guy.
He just wanted it to defend his home.
Why do you ask?
No, he didn't say that.
Not to my knowledge.
And oh, by the way, the guy bought that gun from me like a month ago.
But then he called me pretty recently and said that there was a problem with the gun and that he had to get rid of it.
And then he told me, don't ever have a mistress.
Hope this helps, bye.
Oh my gosh.
Police were like, okay, pretty sure we get what's going on here.
Hemi and Andrea were obviously having an affair.
Bangin'.
They wanted Rusty out of the picture.
That's correct.
And oh, look at this.
Hemi was having financial problems.
Oh, shit.
And Rusty just happened to have a $2 million life insurance policy.
Pretty damn convenient.
Uh-huh.
Clearly, these two were in cahoots.
That's right.
So police brought Andrea in for questioning, and they asked her,
Hey, have you and Hemi had an affair?
And Andrea said, No.
I've never had an affair with Hemi.
If he's told you we had an affair, then that's all in his head.
But I think her name is Relly.
Relly Newman.
Hemi's wife.
Relly and Hemi.
I know.
What?
I don't know.
She didn't think the affair was fake.
She thought it was very much real.
She and Hemi had been married for 22 years.
And she had suspected that Hemi
was cheating on her ever since
Andrea started working at GE.
Oh, shit. She said the two of them
were in constant communication
and she had the phone records
to prove it.
In the six months
before Rusty's murder,
Andrea and Hemi were in contact more than 1,400 times.
Holy shit.
Through phone calls or texts, which got me thinking, I always think this anytime we have like a case where two people are in contact at a time.
What do you think the number would be for us?
Oh, it'd be close to that.
It'd be huge.
Yeah, it'd be huge.
People would totally think we were plotting a murder.'d be like it can't be possible that they
were just sending memes back and forth we do send a lot of we send a lot of me
i mean if i don't get one once a day from you i'm gonna be very worried i'm concerned that
something has happened to you yeah there was like one day where I text you like, I don't know, like six messages in a row. Cause I
was like, I sent you like three things and you didn't respond. And then I was like,
Hey, sorry for being a stage five clinger, but I'm concerned that there might be something wrong
with you. And you text me and you're like, I left the house and left my phone at home.
I'm okay. That would be the only reason. It's like, I left my phone at home i'm okay that would be the only reason it's like i left my phone at home or
something horrible has happened so relly saw what was going on and she was like fuck this i'm out
she filed for separation do you file for separation or is that just a file for divorce but
yeah you don't file for separation maybe in some states you have to file like a legal separation to start the process maybe.
Okay.
Divorce is weird.
Anyway, I'm the divorce expert on this podcast.
Boy, there's an expertise thing.
A level, an area of expertise you didn't want to have.
That's right.
Yeah.
But here I am living my best life.
Divorce finalized divorce finalized whoop
whoop yeah yeah we haven't mentioned that let's mention it this week divorce finalized and you
know what it's a good thing looks good on me doesn't it um it really really does
well seriously like the new hairdo like you just, you're happier than you were before.
Like this.
Feeling pretty good.
Yeah.
Feeling pretty good.
We went out to celebrate.
Is it tacky to say?
No, I think it's fine.
Okay.
Yeah.
We celebrated.
We did.
We celebrated.
We toasted.
We had a lovely dinner.
It was great.
We ate tater tots that were stuffed with cheese.
And somehow they weren't that good.
I know.
We were so excited about them.
Which who wouldn't be?
Okay.
It was tater tots stuffed with pepper jack cheese.
Sounds amazing.
Absolutely.
They just weren't that good.
Yeah.
It was, it was a little bit of a letdown.
Underwhelming.
Cause I had sent you three different restaurant options and you were like, uh, looked at the
menu.
I made my decision.
You know what?
Didn't let us down. What I looked at the menu. Yes. Made my decision. You know what didn't let us down?
What?
Skillet brownie.
Oh, wow.
That did not let us down.
Did not let us down, except it was way too big.
And David and Norm did not help us with it at all.
Yeah, it was an interesting thing.
So it was day one of Norman's healthy eating diet.
Yes.
So he was just, he was looking at us like a starving puppy
yes so that was sad and then David has a weird hang-up about the doneness he doesn't like a
gooey brownie he wants a fully cooked brownie which red flag red flag oh it's going in the
it's going in the con call this could be one of those psychopath things like you know how like what's that thing
about yawning do you know oh yeah so if somebody if they can look at you while you're yawning and
they don't yawn they're a psychopath which that seems like it can't possibly be true but let's
that and also if they don't like a gooey brownie that's and then if they if they dip their onion ring uh-huh and ranch rather than the cajun sauce uh
got a total psychopath right
we're just trying to help people out that's right i hope you guys are keeping track of all of these
notes did you see oh shoot i i can't remember who it was on Twitter.
I want to say Marsha reached out and said she enjoys nachos with shredded cheese.
There are monsters among us.
Yeah.
I tell you what.
Ugh.
Wrong.
Wrong.
It's wrong.
Wrong, wrong.
It's sick and wrong and wrong and sick.
Nachos only with queso. It has to be gooey, cannot be shredded cheese.
If you like shredded cheese on your nachos, you need to keep that sickness to yourself.
That's right.
Don't inflict it upon the rest of us.
And certainly don't be like, oh, hey, I made nachos and then show us that crap.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, back to it, back to it.
Okay, so she filed for separation.
That's where we were. Okay. All right. Where we went, back to it. Okay. So she filed for separation. That's where we were.
Okay.
Oh, right.
Where we went on the longest tangent ever.
Meanwhile, prosecutors had enough on Hemi, so he was charged with murder.
But they didn't have much on Andrea.
Yeah.
Other than gut instinct.
Yeah.
As Hemi's trial date got closer, he pled not guilty by reason of insanity.
What?
Hold on to your hat.
Do I need to buckle up for this?
Oh, you're going to, yeah.
You're going to have to buckle.
Go ahead.
Click.
Okay, very good.
I am buckled in.
In opening statements, Hemi's defense attorney told the story.
Yes, Hemi shot Rusty, but he did not know
right from wrong when he pulled the trigger. What? He was in love with Andrea and voices in his head
told him to do evil things. Angels and demons spoke to him. What? The angel had the voice of Olivia Newton-John.
What?
What did the demon have the voice of?
The demon had the voice of Barry White.
What?
Olivia Newton-John and Barry White?
You're not going to believe what they told him.
Okay, I'm ready. Barry White told him. Okay, I'm ready.
Barry White told him to kill...
I'm sorry.
Barry White told Hemi to kill himself.
Wow.
Which is rude.
Yes.
But Olivia Newton-John told him to kill Rusty.
So he listened to Olivia.
Yeah, she's the angel.
She said Rusty was a danger to his two children.
So.
Oh, my gosh.
You're the one that I want.
You are the one I want.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Honey.
Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Hennie.
Yes!
Man, missed opportunity.
Really missed opportunity.
So the defense.
This is crazy. Yeah. Thank you opportunity. So the defense. This is crazy.
Yeah.
Thank you, Matt and Lindy.
This is a great case.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
The defense presented a case that Hemi was bipolar and that he'd had a terrible childhood.
So this was interesting.
The defense explained that Hemi's father was
a Holocaust survivor. I believe he was in Auschwitz. Oh, my gosh. And that he'd abused
Hemi and his siblings and that his mother was mostly absent. Gosh dang it. Why do you do these
cases where you're like, this person's so bad? And then you're like, but they were abused. I know it does make you.
I hate that.
I know.
I know.
Because then you go down the sad path of like, oh, my God, what would it be like to survive?
Yes, absolutely.
And like, yeah, that would mess you up royally.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
Sorry, team.
But prosecutor Don Gary was like, thanks, team. But Prosecutor Don Gary was like...
Thanks, Matt and Lindy.
Prosecutor Don Gary was like,
uh, hold on, this is total bullshit.
He said,
a man wanted someone else's wife,
so he killed her husband.
He got caught,
and now all of a sudden, he's insane.
Oh, my gosh.
But the...
Fair argument.
This is one of those weird cases
where, you know,
I always get weird about the insanity cases
because it's like,
I don't know enough about mental health.
And the other thing is,
for this,
for his trial,
I only watched the 2020 episode.
And, you know, they chopped those things up.
They didn't show.
They talked about some of the expert witnesses, but they didn't go into great detail.
So that does make me feel weird about coming down one way or the other.
Of course.
But that said, of all the stuff I've watched, this is the most certain I've ever been that someone was faking.
Okay.
I just, and again, I could be totally wrong, but it just seems pretty damn convenient.
Yeah.
But the defense pressed on.
Yes, what Hemi did was awful, but this was Andrea's doing.
They said that she used hemi's mental illness against
him she manipulated him to get what she wanted a good fucking argument and i mean it might be true
you know i mean it's yeah douglas peter peters was one of hemi's attorneys and he later said
this is clearly a situation where one person was mentally ill and the other person was aware of it and was calculating and was manipulative.
Wow.
Yeah.
The prosecution was just as hard on Andrea.
Both sides believed that she had something to do with Hemi killing Rusty.
In fact, as the trial played out,
it seemed clear that the prosecution
was building their case against Andrea.
That was especially clear
when Andrea Snyderman took the stand.
Okay.
Why would she do that?
I think she was compelled to.
I mean, I don't think she had a choice.
Because, you know, she wasn't on trial had a choice okay because you know she wasn't
on trial i know i know and she hasn't been charged with anything so it's not like she can say that
yeah the oh my god stop
stop laughing and stop making that noise. I don't ask for much.
So Andrea took the stand,
and she told the jury that Hemi wrote her a poem one time saying that she was beautiful.
Excellent.
Did it go,
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
It's true.
God.
Have you ever had someone write you a poem?
I had, in high school, I had somebody ask me to homecoming by writing a poem.
Really?
Yeah.
What was it?
Do you remember the poem?
Hold on.
Do you need me to get some wine and cheese?
Khakis are tan jeans are blue i'd like to go to homecoming with you hey i kind of like that yes yeah because pants is my favorite word yeah no i'm on that yeah uh-huh yeah pretty creative yeah i responded
in poem what did you say i said
i sing alto you sing tenor i'll see you at homecoming dinner oh very nice
i liked that guy yeah it was super was super nice. Yeah. Yeah.
I also received a poem once.
Ooh.
It rhymed.
Ooh.
And it took itself very seriously.
Oh, no.
You can guess who wrote it.
Anyway. Anyway.
The prosecutor asked,
do you have any idea why the defendant would have these feelings toward you?
And Andrea said, I think I'm a pretty nice person.
I'm a very caring person.
The prosecution straight up asked her, were you and the defendant romantically involved?
Yes, we were banging on the reg. No! She said no.
Lied. She lied. She's a liar. Liar! She's a lying liar who
lies. But then they read aloud emails that the two of them
had sent each other. In one, Hemi refers
to when we looked up at the stars in Tahoe.
When you took my hand and nestled your head on my shoulder.
When we woke up together in Denver.
Okay, were these people traveling the United States together?
They've been to South Carolina, Lake Tahoe, Denver.
They live in fucking Georgia.
They also went to Scotland.
What?
Yeah.
They did a lot of
traveling together.
So, Andrew's up on the stand
reading over these emails
and the prosecutor
goes, did that happen?
And by the way,
she has attitude for
days. Don't surprise me
one bit. Yeah, yeah. She is cold and angry.
And she goes, did what happen?
And he said, did you wake up together in Denver and Tahoe?
Andrea said no.
Liar!
She said she always rejected Hemi's advances.
Even when he emailed her, marry me.
Be with me forever.
Think about it.
How'd she respond to that email?
See, this is what makes me think.
I mean, it's either that this was one-sided or that she was more calculating.
Because they did have her read some stuff and i'll get to it but they're they didn't have stuff like i love you too blah blah blah
nestled on my shoulder any of that stuff so you know take it how you want to take it either she played him possibly yeah she played him she said she always
turned him down she thought of hemi as like a school boy with a crush she never mentioned any
of this to rusty because it was inconsequential which give me a break. Right. She said she felt sorry for Hemi and that she cared about him
and that she even let him into her hotel room a few times.
But they never shared a hotel room.
Maybe he was a stalker.
Yeah, she used that word.
Really?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, if you look at it from that yeah angle it could make sense
that's what makes this case such a mess i know i know
oh so it's funny because i we're not recording at our normal time which i feel like we say that
every episode i know lately it's been crazy but um when i first we've had a bunch of stuff going on
it's like you got divorced and like i'm maybe buying a new house
but no so when i first looked into this i was like oh my god i'm weirdly on her side a little
bit not like on her side but i was more like you don't really have enough on her then a little bit. Not like on her side, but I was more like, they don't really have enough on her.
Then I looked it back over last night
and I was like, why was I thinking that?
She's totally terrible and guilty.
And now that I'm telling it to you,
you're kind of like, I don't know.
You can see both possibilities.
Yeah, this case is nuts.
I don't know how I feel.
Okay, I'm going to keep going.
Okay.
Then it was time for the defense to cross examine her. The defense brought up a string of emails from just after Andrea and Hemi
took a trip to Greenville, South Carolina. In one email, Andrea said, I now have to repent.
I now have to repent.
And Hemi said, please never forget how much I love you.
And Andrea responded, I know, but so do other people.
I betrayed them all.
I'm not sure how to deal with that for now, but my burden, not yours.
Wow.
So I read that in kind of a normal way. But when she was on the stand,
she's like angrily looking at this email that they've got. And you know, the attorney is like forcing her to read it out loud. And the way she read her last part was here's how she did it.
I know, but so do other people. I betrayed them all. I'm not sure how to deal with that for now,
I know but so do other people I betrayed them all I'm not sure how to deal with that for now but my burden not yours and then she just tossed it wow yeah it was like uncomfortable
don't want to admit that I wrote this it it was weird so the defense attorney asked
what happened in Greenville
Andrea said they held hands that's it that's what she had to repent for
the emails just made it sound worse than what it was because you see to hold to andrea holding
hands was a very big betrayal toward the end the cross-examination got really heated
the defense asked andrea why she sent police down a rabbit hole.
Here's a transcript.
Andrea,
have you seen what's happened to my life?
Have you noticed?
Defense,
have you seen what's happened to Rusty?
Right?
Andrea,
have you noticed what's happened to my life
since Hemi was murdered?
Since Hemi murdered my husband?
Her whole demeanor was cold, angry, arrogant.
She continued to deny that an affair had ever taken place.
But eight other witnesses said that it happened.
And again, both the prosecution and the defense said it was a given
that there was an affair. So how involved or uninvolved was she in the crime itself?
On the day Rusty was murdered, it was the daycare that notified Andrea that there had been an
emergency and that Rusty had been rushed to the hospital. Andrea got that news and rushed
immediately. Hmm. I wrote rushed immediately to the school, but I think she rushed to the hospital.
I think that was my bad. You know, you could have just changed it and no one would have known.
But I'm not sure that it was my bad. I'm not like, or I'm not sure that I'm wrong. So I'm just,
you know, whatever. Put it out there. She either went to the school or the hospital.
It would make no sense to go to the school.
I think she went to the hospital.
Okay.
Here's a transcript.
Defense.
How many times did you call Rusty?
Andrea.
Call Rusty zero times.
Defense.
Why didn't you call Rusty?
Andrea.
Because they just told me something had happened to rusty
what are the chances he's going to answer his cell phone and they told her that he was on the
way to the hospital right yeah that defense they didn't tell you what happened to rusty Andrea, is there, did you have a question?
Which, I am with her on this.
Yeah.
Because I've tried to put myself in her shoes.
If someone said something happened to Norman, he's being, you know, an ambulance took him to a hospital.
No, I'm not calling his cell phone.
I'm not calling his cell phone.
I'm going.
I'm driving like a bat out of hell to the hospital.
Yeah.
So I don't think that's that weird.
No, I don't either.
But here's, okay, here's the weird part.
Okay.
Lay it on me.
Lay it on me.
Lay it on me.
Andrea says she didn't find out that Rusty had been shot until she arrived at the hospital
at around 11 a.m.
Mm-hmm.
But then Rusty's dad, Don, took the stand.
He said that Andrea had called him at around 9.30
in the morning and said that Rusty
had been shot.
Andrea's
former co-worker...
Oh, God. Oh, now it's just
annoying noises.
That is not good.
No, and there are more people who say
the exact same thing. Oh, shit.
Yeah. Now whose side are you on?
Oh, shit.
So Andrea's former coworker and Andrea's former BFF, Shana Sintran, took the stand.
And they both said that Andrea said that Rusty was shot.
And they said, and she said that to them before 11 a.m.
Oh.
Easy to know that if you've told your lover to go do it.
When Shana was on the stand, she said that Andrea always denied having an affair with Hemi.
But as her best friend, she didn't believe it.
She said, I didn't believe Andrea, but my heart really wanted to oh my gosh
i think that would be really hard yeah yeah
that testimony i mean maybe it influenced more me more than it should have. First of all, the timing is very convincing to me. But also, your
best friend, you know. You definitely know.
Yeah.
After her testimony was over, Shana stood, walked past the
attorneys, walked through the row of spectators, and
Andrea was right there. And right there in
front of everyone in front of the jury, Andrea kissed her cheek and gave her a very long hug.
But then the two of them walked out of the courtroom. And as soon as they were out of those
doors, Andrea turned to Shana and in front of Shana's lawyer said,
Look, I understand you had to do what you had to do, but now you're going to have to live with what I'm going to do.
And then Andrea kissed Shana again.
The fuck does that mean?
Sounds like a pretty fucking scary threat to me.
Sounds like a fucking threat for sure
yeah and the kiss makes it even creepier uh-huh kiss to death after that andrea was barred from
the courthouse for improper contact with a witness like you can't just go up and smooch and hug
a witness after she says yeah i'm pretty sure she was having an affair.
So now Andrea is physically gone from the trial,
but the defense and prosecution dropped her name constantly.
They both argued that Andrea played a big role in this murder.
But the crucial question was,
was Hemi sane or insane at the time of the murder.
These things drive me crazy.
Proving at that moment,
I don't understand how you even go about that.
For their part, the defense kept talking about Barry White and Olivia Newton-John.
They brought in three psychiatric witnesses
who testified that hemi was mentally
ill and that he'd been in a manic state when he committed the murder
which i think is very possible but i think he was probably also influenced
you know the money is the thing that just strikes me as a little too convenient
i can't remember for sure but i feel like they said that Hemi was filing for bankruptcy.
I know for sure they were talking about him having financial troubles.
But like, that just doesn't that just seem a little too damn convenient?
And I guess that wouldn't necessarily mean that he's not insane at the time of the murder but i just it just adds up to a lot of
i think also watching that interrogation where he just seemed so calm and it made me think is
this someone who's so arrogant that he feels like he can pull the wool over everybody's eyes
probably i mean possibly yeah i am going to try to do this justice.
Okay.
This is what the prosecutor said during closing arguments.
And I mean, I wish you could see a tape of it because it's so damn good.
But here we go.
He said, they would have us believe that he was insane because he was having a good time at the club.
And Andrea's doing this
dance for him. And she's, you know, and they're groping and they're grinding and they're getting
it on and they're kissing and hugging. Now, he's supposed to be insane because he's saying,
isn't it great? Isn't it great? Isn't it great? Yes, it's great. Of course, it's great. He's
having an affair. He's about to go back to the room and do the horizontal mambo. Yes, it's great. Of course, it's great. He's having an affair. He's about to go back to the room and do the horizontal mambo.
Yes, it's great.
What man in America wouldn't be like, ooh, I'm about to have sex.
It's great.
Of course, he's having a good time.
If that makes him insane, then half the men walking down the street are insane.
Holy shit.
It was so good.
So good.
Oh, my gosh.
I feel like, needless to say, this guy was, like, bouncing all over.
Oh, for sure.
You know, he wasn't, like, standing still doing this.
Did he do any, like, pelvic thrusting during it?
I feel like I would remember that.
The jury went into deliberationation and they found him guilty.
Yeah.
Guilty, but mentally ill, which is a win for the prosecution.
Him, he would go to prison, not a mental institution.
He was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
So at the end of this 2020 episode,
the prosecutors talked about how they believe
that Andrea participated in the murder of her husband.
But Robert James said,
what I believe and what I can prove
are two different things, which, yeah.
Rusty's family said they believe
she was involved in some way,
and they want to know exactly how she was involved yeah they just want to know the truth eventually prosecutors did indict andrea
and rusty's murder but three days before her trial the prosecution withdrew the murder charges wow yeah they just didn't have enough
to prove it i i mean assuming assuming that all they had was what they had at hemi's trial
yeah i don't think they had enough on her yeah he wasn't saying he wasn't saying she was involved and of course she
wasn't gonna say she was involved and i mean yeah it looks bad it looks really really bad
yeah but there's no concrete evidence exactly holy shit
after those charges were withdrawn andrea received the $2 million life insurance payout. So it had been withheld,
but then, you know, there's,
they don't have a reason to withhold it anymore.
So she gets, I think it was a little over $2 million.
Holy shit.
Her trial moved forward on lesser charges of perjury
and hindering the apprehension of a killer.
The prosecution argued that Andrea lied to police and to a jury about whether she'd had a romantic relationship with Hemi.
They also said she withheld crucial information after Rusty was murdered.
Assistant District Attorney Kelly Hill said,
She didn't tell police about the relationship.
She didn't tell police about the trips they took together. She didn't tell police about the relationship. She didn't tell police about the trips they took
together. She didn't tell police that he wanted to marry her. She didn't tell police she sent him
close to 200 pictures of her children after he said he wanted to raise them. But Andrea's defense
team fought back. They were like, uh, excuse me. When police talked to her the day after Rusty died, she gave
them Hemi's name. Frankly, she gave them
the motive too. She had no reason to believe that he committed the crime.
Okay, so this drives me crazy.
Yeah, technically she said his name. Yeah. But she didn't say
he has proposed marriage via email.
No.
If she really thought that he was a crazy stalker and that he was obsessed with her,
wouldn't she have been a little less dismissive of him with police?
Wouldn't she be like, hey, my boss is kind of a creep.
I clearly have misjudged this i didn't
think it was that big a deal i'm worried yeah yes yeah 100 see this is what just yeah yeah
the prosecution talked about the timeline rusty's dad swears she told him that rusty had been shot
and she said it hours before she found out he'd been shot.
But the defense said that Rusty's dad was just mistaken.
You know, he wasn't lying.
He was just, it's a crazy time.
You don't remember things verbatim.
He was just mistaken.
No.
Ultimately.
However many people said that were all mistaken. No. Ultimately. All.
However many people said that we're all mistaken.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Ultimately, the jury found her guilty.
She was sentenced to five years in prison and she served 10 months.
Holy shit. At some point toward the end of 2013,
the Snyderman family sued Andrea in civil court.
According to their suit,
she actively and knowingly participated in the murder and the planning of the murder of Rusty Snyderman.
Yeah.
They settled out of court for an undisclosed amount,
so I have no idea.
Meanwhile, Hemi was still in sitting in prison listening to some
barry manilow maybe oh sorry barry white oh right maybe he switched to barry manilow maybe but why
would you i don't honestly. Mandy's pretty good.
So Barry said to him,
you should appeal your case.
So Hemi took Barry's advice and appealed his case
all the way
to the
Supreme Court!
Oh,
left out a critical word there.
Georgia Supreme Court.
So I was delaying because I thought you were going to put a state in there.
I wondered what you were doing.
You were like, lean back.
Yeah, I was waiting for you to say a state.
Like you're hemming in an interrogation.
Yeah, that's right.
Sipping my mojito.
Here's what his lawyers argued.
Okay.
Which I think this is an excellent argument.
In his first trial, hemming's lawyers hired consultants who met with him in prison.
Those conversations were obviously recorded because, duh, it's a prison.
And they were allowed into evidence.
That should be confidential.
Yep.
Yep.
Ooh, good argument.
So the prosecution was allowed to use those conversations to build their own case.
I know.
I know.
No. No, no. So in
this appeal, Hemi's lawyers argued that those conversations should have been protected by
attorney-client privilege and not handed over to the prosecution. The justices agreed. One of the
justices said defense attorneys would never hire consultants if they knew that this was the risk,
which is totally true. You would never, You would never let your client talk to anybody.
So the Georgia Supreme Court ruled in Hemi's favor,
and Hemi got a retrial.
So his new trial was very similar to the first,
except Andrea Snyderman would not be called to the stand.
Which, okay, I love this.
So I talked about Christian Boone.
He's the reporter for the Atlanta Journal
Constitution. And in one of his articles,
he mentioned that Andrea would not
be on the stand for the second trial. And he
said it was like
remaking Jaws without
the shark. Right.
So
I'm not going to go into it because I feel like we
know the details.
In August of 2016, a jury found Hemi guilty again.
And I believe the exact same judge gave him the exact same sentence again.
Life in prison without parole. So that was a whole lot for not much.
Andrea released a statement to the media praising the jury's verdict.
She called Hemi.
I'm sure she did.
She called Hemi a cold-blooded killer.
Okay, Andrea.
And that's the story of the daycare killer.
Holy shit.
That was nuts, wasn't it?
Where do you land on this?
I think Andrea had a way bigger part in it than she was convicted of.
Yeah.
Way bigger.
Do you think that it's like just like his defense attorney said where she knew he was mentally ill and she manipulated him?
I totally think that's it.
Wow.
Yeah.
See, it's funny because I wrote that down and I really didn't think much of it at the time
but that would explain
why she didn't email
a ton of stuff back to him maybe
yes
just enough
to keep him on the line
and to be able to manipulate
him to do what she wanted
yeah maybe to manipulate him to do what she wanted. Yeah, maybe.
Ugh.
It was such a good case.
I'd never heard of that.
Did you?
Yeah, it was so good.
Okay.
You about to ruin my day?
So I'd like to just go back in time for a second
and remind everyone what Kristen did to me last week.
With no warning.
If you'll recall on last week's episode, I talked about a fraud case that Kristen, I believe you said you loved it.
I did love it.
It was like meant for me.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
And then you.
Yeah.
In turn.
Uh-huh. Talk talked about fucking dog murder
well take the word fucking out of that sentence that's disgusting
you talked about a poor little bichon frise who was murdered yeah it did suck yeah it sure did
yeah it was rough and i've not gotten over it.
And so this week, I picked a case that I've been ignoring.
Out of the kindness of your heart, you've been ignoring it?
Yep, I've come across this case a couple times.
First of all, there's not that much information available about it.
So this will be a little bit short.
But second of all, out of the kindness of my heart, I couldn't do it to you.
Oh, no.
Is this about Taco Bell?
No!
No!
No, it's about Taco Bell!
No.
Oh, God. So today, to return the favor you did for me last week.
No, don't ruin Taco Bell.
I have a doozy of a case for you.
What if I just left? It was lunchtime on Friday, June 16th, 2006, and Ryan Klinkenbeard was
partaking in his favorite Friday afternoon ritual. It was his lunch break, and he had ventured across the street from the Provo, Utah marketing
firm where he worked in IT to get lunch at his favorite restaurant, Taco Bell.
No.
It was approximately 12.45 p.m. by the time Ryan sat down at the table at the Taco Bell located at 1244 North Freedom
Boulevard, Provo, Utah. North? Yes. Well, that just looks like a beautiful Taco Bell that I would
hate for you to ruin for me.yan sat down with his regular order he always
ordered the same thing same a cheesy gordita crunch oh no oh no a bean burrito oh okay a taco
supreme oh crunchy uh i don't know and he washed it all down with a Diet Pepsi.
Oh.
The monster.
On this particular day, Ryan thought the gordita tasted better than ever.
But the beans in the bean burrito seemed off.
Slightly undercooked, maybe.
But he didn't think much of it.
It was Taco Bell bell he finished his meal
he went back to work and he was looking forward to a fun weekend ahead he and his girlfriend sheena
were planning to head to pocatello idaho on saturday morning so pocatello is like
two hours and 45 minutes north of provo utah they'd rented a cabin for the weekend and ryan unbeknownst to sheena
oh he was gonna was planning to pop the question oh no oh no this is so sad ryan's workday ended
without much fanfare in fact it wasn't until much later that night that the problems for ryan began it was around 1 30 in the morning
oh no when ryan woke up in excruciating pain his stomach was cramping and it was like nothing he'd
ever felt before his stomach had been bothering him all night. He'd actually skipped dinner. It had been so unsettled.
But he chalked it up to nerves about the upcoming proposal.
Sure, sure.
But now, the pain had far surpassed discomfort.
Ryan groaned as he climbed out of bed and nearly doubled over in pain.
He felt his way to the bathroom,
turned on the light,
and was shocked by his reflection in the mirror.
He was pale and sweaty.
Dark circles had appeared under his eyes.
His stomach cramped again,
harder this time. Oh no.
Ryan let out another groan.
This time he tried to muffle it with like the sleeve of his pajamas, trying not to disturb Sheena.
He sat on the toilet and he prayed for relief.
Oh, God.
It was almost immediately after sitting on the toilet that Ryan knew he was in real trouble.
At first, he thought he had diarrhea but then he realized the liquid
coming from him was too thick and warm it was blood oh my god blood was pouring from his anus
oh my god what is wrong with you you You don't know this case? No!
As if I would ever,
if I saw a headline
that indicated anything negative about Taco Bell,
I would not click it. You just keep on cruising.
I don't want to know.
Ryan called out for Sheena.
Oh my god. Just as he
blacked out. Oh my god, he was
bleeding from his butthole.
Yes. Oh no! Sheena had heard ryan get out
of bed and was somewhere between asleep and awake when she heard him cry out for her oh my god then
she heard a thud in the bathroom oh my god she ran to the bathroom and was shocked by what she saw. Ryan was passed out on the floor and there was blood everywhere.
Not only was there blood coming from his anus,
Ryan had cracked his head on the vanity
as he'd fallen off the toilet.
Sheena screamed and then gathered her composure
and called 911.
Ryan was still unresponsive when emergency crews rushed him to Utah Valley Hospital.
In fact, Ryan would spend the next 56 days in and out of comas,
undergoing multiple surgeries, and going through extensive rehab.
This is impossible.
How?
What could have possibly been wrong with?
About to get there.
Oh, my God.
Ultimately, Ryan would end up having 28 inches of his small intestine removed, and he was
fitted with a colostomy bag that he would have to wear for the rest of his life.
What?
The reason for all of this?
Yes, what?
Toxoplasma gondii, a fast-acting parasite that doctors believe Ryan had contracted.
Contracted?
Contracted.
Contracted.
He signed a contract with it,
which he shouldn't have done.
He believed Ryan had contracted
from mishandled food
at Taco Bell.
No.
No.
Yeah.
What the hell did they do to it?
That's going to be
a big debate.
How do you mishandle food that big debate oh my god so
this is terrifying your worst nightmare right jerk
so toxoplasma gondii g-o-n-d-i-i i'm not positive on that not g-h-a-n-d-i no so it's actually like
the most common food parasite in developed countries okay it's very common but it is
super fast acting and it can have lifelong consequences.
Yes, that's the word I was looking for.
So a colostomy bag is a bag you have to wear on your body for your waist to collect in.
Yeah.
Because this thing destroyed his digestive tract.
Oh my God.
In a very short amount of time in the 56 days that he
spent in the hospital in various hospitals and all the procedures that he underwent because like
when you're talking about we talked about this a little bit in the um steven beard case i did
when you're talking about digestive problems the risk of like sepsis
and all of that is huge. And so he just went through all of these procedures. He had infection
after infection. He racked up medical bills well over half a million dollars. I believe it. Yeah.
Yeah. And so by the time that he recovered from this, he was drowning in medical bills.
And doctors truly believed that Taco Bell was the source of this parasite.
Uh-huh.
And so Ryan felt like he didn't have any choice.
He said, let's go to court.
And so Ryan filed a lawsuit against Taco Bell purely to get his medical bills covered.
That's it?
Oh, I would sue the pants off of him.
So initially, so the first lawyer that he worked with was like you you need
to seek way more than this your life has been altered by this you've got your poop in a bag
that's right your life yeah and he really was adamant that he didn't he didn't want to do that
he really just wanted to get his medical bills covered. But Taco Bell was like, not so fast, Ryan Klinkenbeard.
Prove to us you got that parasite from us.
Those assholes.
Here's the deal.
deal prior to ryan coming down with this crazy parasite he had traveled outside of the united states where'd he go um it was i believe it was somewhere in africa and it's possible that he was
exposed to unclean water and so taco bell's big argument when they go to trial is it could be from something
else is that it could be from something else and that he had had that parasite for much longer.
Did other people get sick from that Taco Bell?
No. And that's Taco Bell's big argument as well.
That there weren't a bunch of people.
So are you going to ask about the incubation period?
Is that your next question?
Well, no, but maybe I should.
But my other question was, how long ago did he travel?
It had been like he had only been back in the United States for a few days prior to coming down with this.
But the incubation period with this toxoplasma is super short.
Oh, so like lunchtime. But the incubation period with this toxoplasma is super short. Oh.
So like lunchtime.
So his defense team brought in experts that said, no, he would have been sick days ago if he brought this back from Africa.
He would have, his insides would have been basically eaten alive by this thing.
Okay.
There's no possible way.
Gotcha.
Gotcha. Gotcha.
All right.
Taco Bell says,
there's no way for you to prove
that you got it from our restaurant.
I mean, how?
Can't Taco Bell just pay this guy his $600,000?
He has to poop in a bag.
Yeah, that's awful the problem though
is the precedent that this would say yeah yeah you totally understand why they wouldn't want to
do it oh absolutely then it sets a precedent yeah then you're admitting that this happened
which that's terrible pr because who's going to want to eat a Taco Bell after that?
So this was Taco Bell's whole thing this whole time was you can't prove the source of it.
It wasn't us.
They also went full on shaggy.
Yeah. But the defense had kind of a star witness up their sleeve.
Okay.
So one of the ways that Toxoplasma gondii can be transmitted is through contact with feline excrement.
Oh.
So they brought in an expert that testified to all of this because it's a very fast-growing parasite it's often carried in the excrement of cats but it's
not harmful to cats right and so kind of like during the court case when the defense brings
this up people are like what the fuck does this have to do with anything yeah well does a taco bell worker like one of the taco
bell workers lived with a cat breeder okay yeah house full of fucking cats and cat excrement. Yep. Yep. I mean, that sounds like a smoking gun to me.
Yeah, it is.
God, this is disgusting.
I hate that you did this, but I know I deserve it.
You definitely deserve it.
So the defense is like, all right, Taco Bell, you can say whatever the fuck you want.
You know, can't prove it was us.
But here we are saying that it is proven that this can be contracted from cat shit and
here you have an employee that was working in the kitchen on the day that ryan was here and got his
meal who lives in a house with a cat breeder and it's like some kind of crazy fancy cat yeah well sure you
don't just a regular yeah you don't yeah you don't breed kikis and booze no you don't it's yeah some
kind of exotic cat yeah which i think they even said something about how that makes it like the
risk of the parasite being in the excrement is even higher when you're talking about this weird exotic
cat okay The excrement is even higher when you're talking about this weird exotic cat.
Okay.
The trial was short.
A few experts, whatever.
Right.
But the jury deliberated for seven days.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
What do you think they decided?
I hope they found in his favor.
They didn't.
They awarded him nothing.
They found in Taco Bell's favor.
Wow.
Yeah.
Because they hadn't proven.
They hadn't proven.
They didn't believe that they had proven enough about the cat.
And so Ryan got nothing.
Well, and he had to pay for all of his court costs.
All of his court costs, all of his medical bills.
Oh, my God.
Poor Ryan.
Yeah.
And Sheena decided she didn't want to be with him anymore
because he had the colostomy bag.
No, you're making that up.
No.
100% serious.
She didn't say.
She didn't say She didn't say
He said that he believed that's why she left
Yeah
Well okay
I've not yet told you the craziest part
of this story. Yes you have
I haven't. Are you ready for it?
What? Do you want to buckle your seatbelt?
Quick. I'm so fucking
scared
This case
Did you make this?
It's 100% made up.
Oh my god!
You!
You asshole!
I cannot believe it!
There's not one bit of this that is true.
I completely made it up.
You gigantic asshole
That was so good
I was freaking out
You so fucking deserved that
I can't believe you did that to me
You know what honest to god
That was so scary.
And I was, oh, and you even like, oh, you made sure that he ordered my food, but not
exactly.
Not exactly your food.
I looked up a real Taco Bell.
You had me Google you fucking deserve that
okay i did a lot of research about toxoplasma Plasma candy, too. That may be the best prank anyone has ever pulled on me.
I am still feeling nauseous, honest to God.
In the beginning, you were going into so much detail,
and I was like, holy shit, how'd you get all this detail?
He sat on the toilet.
You jerk.
He sat on the toilet and all of a sudden it was something thicker than diarrhea.
You're evil.
You so deserved it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, God. You so deserved it. I don't know. I don't know.
My, okay, my family is going to love that you got me with that.
I was so worried that at some point you're going to be like, this isn't fucking real. Oh, no, I believed it the whole time.
I absolutely believed it.
I'm so glad.
How did you keep a straight face?
You were so good.
You like.
I sold it.
You really did sell it.
And I didn't tell anybody I was doing this.
There was no way I could do it.
I had to keep it to myself,
which was the hardest fucking thing ever.
How long ago did you start planning this?
When we recorded the episode about dog murder,
like literally when I told you that story,
you were so mad.
You're like,
I am going to get her back.
Well,
well done.
Let's all join in in a slow clap for Brandi.
Oh.
Okay, that was amazing.
God.
I'm so glad I got you.
But you know what?
I don't know that I will ever eat taco bell again without thinking of that
all right you know how i've been loving to do these
weird lawsuit things yes please okay is it a real one or a fake one it's real but it's not so much
a weird lawsuit it's kind of like a stupid criminal.
Oh, I love that.
I know.
I love these.
Okay.
So this man in Iowa, Robert Leo Watson, was on his laptop one day.
And oh shit, he spilled some gravy on it.
You know, like you do. I'm sorry. I just hit the mic. You know, like you do.
I'm sorry.
I just hit the mic.
You know how often you're eating gravy around your laptop, right?
Constantly.
Daily.
There's never a time you're not eating gravy around it.
So he spills gravy all over his laptop.
So he takes it to Best Buy to have the geek squad work on it.
Get it back up and running, save his hard drive, whatever.
Oh, my God.
They uncover massive amounts of child pornography on his laptop.
Hold on.
Are we sure this was gravy?
Oh, God!
Kristen!
Well, do I have a point or do I have a point?
Oh, that's disgusting!
Uh-huh.
Oh! I'm sorry so they uncovered massive amounts of child uh-huh and so they are required by law obviously thank god yeah to report it so they the police come and they take it and they go and
arrest this man and he has a perfectly reasonable explanation
for why he has child porn on his computer kristin i would love to know what that is so he came across
it on the internet he wasn't looking for it he just happened upon it and he downloaded it so he could tell the police about it.
Wow.
So he's really more of a hero.
That's correct.
Wow.
That's correct.
Well, not all pedophiles wear capes.
Sorry, did I butcher that?
No, I think that's great.
Okay, if you have massive amounts of child,
if you have one file of child porn on your computer and you spill gravy on it, I think the computer's done.
I don't think you take it to Best Buy.
Hey, let's not give tips to pedophiles.
Oh, you're right.
Let's not.
Yes, please, take it to Best Buy immediately.
Immediately.
Yes, get to your nearest Geek Squad.
There's an oath that they swear to their clients
that, you know, whatever we find
that's your business.
And I just, again
I have to say, there's no way
that was gravy. No, gross! Stop
saying that! You know there's no
way that was gravy!
How much cum would there have to
be on a computer to make it
stop working?
How much child porn did he have on that?
Yeah!
Oh my gosh!
I can't believe I have to be the one to tell you this.
It's been since episode six
that we've used a phrase on this podcast.
What was that?
Gobs of cum.
Ew, ew, ew.
Oh God.
Yuck.
No.
I blocked it from my mind.
It's your fucking case! I know, and I blocked it from my mind it's your fucking case i know and i blocked it from my mind
all right that's my show note you got any show notes this week no i'm too disturbed i'm like
about to vomit everywhere first with your fake case and then with that one about the
you really didn't know like you really believed it of course i believed it so glad did i even
look for one second no you looked so disturbed yeah the
entire time yeah i had so i had my hands on my face most of the time and you kept like sinking
down further and further yeah you don't want to hear this about your favorite taco bell god i
should have known hmm you know what okay here was the giveaway you didn't cite any sources and you normally always
say oh blah blah yeah but i don't always say that at the beginning okay you don't always you're
right you're right yeah i i fell for that one i even put in fake sources on our on our outro page. I looked up the name of the newspaper in Provo, Utah.
And this is the real place
that I got the information
about the toxoplasm.
The Center for Science
and the Public Interest.
Yes.
Oh, man.
That was so good. I am so glad i got you
i really feel like i had to do this in the name of so many of our listeners were very upset they
were upset about the so this was really for all of them okay well i hope everyone's feeling a lot
better now all All right.
All right.
So we're still working on that 250 ratings and reviews.
So please head on over to iTunes.
Leave us a rating.
Leave us a review.
And then find us on social media.
We're on Facebook.
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We're on Twitter.
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We're on Reddit.
Is that all of them?
That's it.
You did it.
You want to say anything?
I don't want to say a damn thing.
And so yeah, find us all those places.
And then be sure to join us next week.
When we'll be experts on two whole new real topics.
Podcast adjourned.
And now for a note about our process.
I read a bunch of stuff, then regurgitate it all back up in my very limited vocabulary.
And I copy and paste from the best sources on the web
and sometimes Wikipedia.
So we owe a huge thank you to
the real experts. For this episode
I got my info from the 2020
episode Angels and Demons
and a ton of articles by Christian
Boone for the Atlanta Journal of Constitution.
And I got my info
from nowhere because it was
100% made up.
For a full list of my sources, visit lgtcpodcast.com.
Any errors are, of course, ours, but please don't take our word for it.
Go read their stuff.
That was so good.
That was so good.
You had me.
Oh, man, you had me.