Let's Go To Court! - 71: A Murder Mystery & Nazi Saboteurs

Episode Date: May 29, 2019

It was early in the morning on March 7, 1986. Joyce Cohen called 911 in a panic. Her husband, Stan, had just been shot. Police rushed to the couple’s lavish mansion in Miami’s exclusive Coconut Gr...ove neighborhood. Joyce told police that she hadn’t witnessed her husband’s murder. She’d been up all night in another room, sorting through clothing for an upcoming charity event. But she had managed to spot a few shadowy figures fleeing her home. Police weren’t sure what to believe, but they had a feeling they weren’t getting the full story.    Then, Kristin tells us about a WWII plot that could have devastated America. In 1941, Adolf Hitler was beyond pissed off. Germany had a bunch of spies working in the United States — but one of them had just revealed themselves as a double agent. As a result, 33 German spies were captured and convicted. Hitler vowed revenge. He started up a new spy ring, dubbed Operation Pastorius. The Nazi government quickly found eight men who’d all spent significant time in America. They trained the men for three weeks, then sent them off in submarines for America. The men were ordered to blow up factories, destroy canal locks, detonate railroad tracks, and ruin New York’s water supply. But someone took the plan off track. And now for a note about our process. For each episode, Kristin reads a bunch of articles, then spits them back out in her very limited vocabulary. Brandi copies and pastes from the best sources on the web. And sometimes Wikipedia. (No shade, Wikipedia. We love you.) We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the real experts who covered these cases. In this episode, Kristin pulled from: “The Inside Story of How a Nazi Plot to Sabotage the U.S. War Effort Was Foiled,” by David A. Taylor for Smithsonian.com. “The Nazi Saboteurs Trial,” by Douglas O. Linder for famous-trials.com “Six Nazi spies were executed in D.C. White supremacists gave them a memorial — on federal land,” by John Woodrow Cox for the Washington Post In this episode, Brandi pulled from: “Murder in Miami: Stan and Joyce Cohen” by David Krajicek, The Crime Library “Revisiting a Case of Murder” by Mike Clary, The Los Angeles Times “Jail Informant’s Credibility on Trial” by Daniel de Vise, The Miami Herald        

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready to experience an all-new Don Valley North Lexus. Don Valley North Lexus has temporarily relocated around the corner to 7200 Victoria Park Avenue while they build a brand new dealership for you. The deals don't stop though. Get loyalty rates as low as 1.9%, delivery credits up to $1,500, and save up to $7,000 on select demonstrator models. Don Valley North, Don Valley North Lexus. And save up to $7,000 on select demonstrator models.
Starting point is 00:00:30 A proud member of Wayne's Auto Group. One semester of law school. One semester of criminal justice. Two experts. I'm Kristen Caruso. I'm Brandi Egan. Let's go to court. On this episode, I'll talk about Nazi saboteursurs and i'll be talking about a murder mystery oh let's start by saying that i have a flap of skin hanging off the roof of my mouth
Starting point is 00:00:56 and it's going to impede the way i talk i swear so we just went out to dinner and you had this weird look on your face. You were doing something crazy. I was like, what's wrong? I got too excited about my sandwich. Chicken parm sandwich. Delicious, by the way. But I got too excited when it came, took a big bite, burnt the shit out of the roof of my mouth.
Starting point is 00:01:18 And now I have a flap of skin just hanging down. So the reason she was making a weird face was because she was playing with her skin flap with her tongue. How dare you talk about my skin flap. You brought it up. In case you couldn't tell, this is an episode of Let's Go to Court. After Dark. Brandi had other business.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Do you want to say what my other business was yesterday? No, you can say what you were doing. I was getting tattooed. That's right. Yes. My face right on her arm. Huge on my forearm. And she's like doing this like wink.
Starting point is 00:01:56 I look great. And then you can see her tongue playing with the skin flap in her open mouth. You'll never regret getting that. So, yeah, because you had your second session on your tattoo, we are getting together
Starting point is 00:02:11 in the evening time. That's right. So it's going to be wild. It's going to be crazy. Are you waiting for me to start? Yes, I am. What are you doing? I'd also like to mention
Starting point is 00:02:23 that my mouth is fully on the microphone. That's sweet, because I'm terrified that I'm going to be speaking too far away from it. I think Kristen is sabotaging me, guys. You've always been jealous of how loud I am. So the last two weeks in a row, we tried something new with the audio. And I kind of felt like it was a little off. But like last week I'm gonna blame you and blame me yeah it was a new audio thing which I don't think is working but also you like
Starting point is 00:02:53 I think it sounds as if I was rocking back and forth in my chair because sometimes I was close and then sometimes I was way back here I felt like we were talking to the old country time lemonade guy. He was sitting on his rocking chair telling us about a crime. So this time, Brandi's going to pretend like we're recording a podcast. That's right. And I'm going to pretend my chin is glued to the microphone. You look so uncomfortable right now. Do I?
Starting point is 00:03:21 Do you want a pillow? No. You know what? My mom, honest to God, suggested that I get a book for you and stick it behind your back. Is she insinuating that I have terrible posture? She was saying that you were too far from the mic. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I appreciate that, Sherry. I will maintain that I believe Kristen was sabotaging me.
Starting point is 00:03:50 What if my goal has been just to slowly... Please just, like, phase me out completely. And it's just me telling one story and then reacting to another one that no one hears. Hashtag Team Kristen. You know what we've gotten a lot of since uh last episode came out what hashtag team peanut yeah she barked rudely interrupted the podcast but people didn't seem to mind nope you know the other thing people always comment comment on is how we don't have long crazy intros and this is the longest intro we may have ever done so let's hop to it
Starting point is 00:04:25 i don't think that that grammar was correct well you know it's after dark you know euthanasia me it's okay now that's taking me off track yes we were we were texting about the audio on the last episode and i was like yeah um there is definitely a part where you can tell that I'm talking away from my microphone because I'm a fucking idiot and whatever. And I said, sorry. And Kristen was like, it's fine. But I'm going to have to euthanasia you. And then you responded a minute later, I believe the term is euthanize. And I laughed so hard it felt so dumb.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Kristen's a writer, guys. Weird how I'm struggling to get an agent, though. All right. Down to business. Okay. Down to business. It's March 7th, 1986. Is it?
Starting point is 00:05:22 Yes. We're in Miami, Florida. It is in fact pronounced Miami, not Miami because it's not fucking Oklahoma. Uh-huh. It's 5.15am. I'm gonna pause already. Why? To say that the majority
Starting point is 00:05:37 of this information comes from an article for the crime library by my dude, my good friend, in my mind mind only he doesn't know who i am david kradicek i've used a lot of his articles big fan big big fan of my boy dave i don't know if he likes to be called dave i'm just getting real from that you know what he does like though what tiramisu that's right because he's a david so okay we're in miami florida it's march 7th 1986 i am cooking away in my mother's womb ew
Starting point is 00:06:12 i was not yet born you were yeah because you're older uh not by much, Missy. And people have said that I look months younger than you. Nobody has said that ever, you jerk. We get a lot of emails. I just don't pass them on. Everybody says my ears are way cuter than yours. Well, I can't argue with that. It's 5.15 a.m.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Joyce Cohen called 911. She was hysterical. So hysterical, in fact, that the dispatcher couldn't make out what the emergency was. Finally, Joyce got out that her husband, Stanley, had been shot. When police arrived at the Cohen home in the pricey and historic coconut grove coconut grove neighborhood they found 52 year old stanley cohen naked and dead in bed he had suffered multiple gunshot wounds to the head wow so side note coconut grove is like the um holds like the record for the longest consistently inhabited town in Florida or something like that. That's a really lame record. That fact is 38% true.
Starting point is 00:07:37 It's such a lame fact that I wouldn't even bother. even bother. It's a really well-to-do area, very upscale, and lots of beautiful historic homes. And the Cohen home was a historic home that overlooked Biscayne Bay, which we've talked about Biscayne Bay before on this podcast. Ritzy!
Starting point is 00:07:58 Is it slightly nicer than Kansas City? Nicer than your current neighborhood. Maybe not nicer than the new neighborhood. You guys, Norman and I, assuming everything goes to plan, in like two weeks time, we're moving on up. New house. More than one bathroom. You get a bathroom and you get a bathroom.
Starting point is 00:08:23 And that's where the list is. So she's called the police. Police get there. Stanley's dead. When Joyce managed to gain her composure a little bit, she told the police that Stan had been upstairs asleep because it's 515 in the morning. And but that she had been up late late busy with a charity project in a downstairs room she'd been sorting through clothes for a charity garage sale they had a the couple had a pet doberman pincher and it was asleep with her in the room and then suddenly she had been startled
Starting point is 00:08:59 by a loud noise the dog had gotten up and started to bark. So she was doing her charity thing, sorting through clothes, and then she fell asleep in the other room? Is that what she said? No, no, no. She was awake. She was still up. At 5.15 in the morning. She was staying up late. I think that's just a weird fucking thing to say. Why didn't you say I was up early? Unless she's telling the truth and she's like
Starting point is 00:09:20 I stayed up all night. Which we might find out is true. Okay. Do you want to explain your gestures? You did a little sniffly. A little sniffly. It's the 80s, and they're wealthy.
Starting point is 00:09:35 I don't know what you're trying to say. We're going to find out later that Joyce has a bit of a cocaine habit. Oh, okay. So she's all bumped up on coke. Doing charity work. See, drugs aren't all bad. I'm just like picturing the scene in Horrible Bosses when they've spilled the coke all over the floor and they're trying to pick dust out of it. It's like, I feel like we're really good at this.
Starting point is 00:10:05 I'm going to do pushups. So she tells the police that she has been up all night working on this charity project. She was in a downstairs room, stands upstairs asleep. All of a sudden she hears a loud noise. The dog gets up and starts barking. So she kind of went out of the bedroom, kind of crept around the corner and went towards the sound and like just caught a glimpse of two shadowy figures running out of the house. Hmm. So here's the interesting thing. The Cohen home is a historic mansion, as I mentioned.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Do you have an address? I don't have an address. Damn it, Brandy. I'm very sorry. Okay, as I mentioned. Do you have an address? I don't have an address. Damn it, Brandy. I'm very sorry. Okay, it's okay. Picture like a, I've seen a picture of one view of the house. Picture like a tile roof, a white house, like big like windows and a big like lanai that overlooks the bay.
Starting point is 00:11:01 Gotcha. Okay. I called it a lanai because it's the south and golden girls just whatever blanche would say uh in the dexter series the books dexter lived in coconut grove those were books that was books before it was the show i had no idea. Wow. Kristen's a writer, guys. You say that sarcastically one more time. So she's going towards the sound. She sees, you know, these men, whatever. So the interesting thing about this house is that it's a mansion and it is very finely furnished.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Like she has decked this place out. Tons of expensive stuff. There's also lots of money in the house. And a shit ton of coke. Because as I mentioned, Joyce has quite the coke habit. Okay. But they hadn't bothered to look for any of this. They hadn't taken any of it.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Nothing was missing. This crime was not a robbery. was not a robbery. If Joyce was telling the truth, someone had come into the house for the express purpose of killing Stanley Cohen.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Someone wanted him dead. But who? I mean, it's a real whodunit. Do you have a prediction right off the bat, Kristen? No, I don't have a prediction. I just think this whole thing is very fishy.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Hmm. Yeah, I think it's real fishy off the bat that she's up at 5.15 in the morning all coked up doing charity work. I mean, what do you do at 5, 15, and I sleep. No, I do think it's it's pretty convenient that she's not in the room when he's murdered. So. I'll get into this more a little bit later, but there are problems in the Cohen marriage. They're sleeping in separate bedrooms. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:03 So to figure out who wanted Stanley dead, we kind of need to see a little bit about more who Stan was. Stan was a self-made man. He was the oldest of four children. He was born in New York, grew up on Long Island, and then his family had moved to Florida when he was 14. He graduated from high school in Miami, and then he went on to earn a degree in civil engineering from the University of Florida. He married really young, had a couple of kids, named them Gary and Jerry. Oh, no. And then took like a management job with a construction firm. He was very successful at that and kind of took steps from there and eventually started his own company
Starting point is 00:13:50 when he was like 30 years old. That's awesome. He called it SAC Construction Company. Why is that funny to you, Brandy? I don't know. But he named it after himself. His name's Stanley Allen Cohen and he named it SAC, SAC.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Oh, he should have just called it Stanley Construction. Right? Or Cohen Construction. Anything. I like that he called it SAC. Construction. So he started that in 1963. Between 1960 and 1980, the population in Florida doubled.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It went from 5 million to 10 million. Holy crap. And the Miami area specifically transformed into this like really cool, like bustling area where everyone wanted to be when it had previously had this reputation of like where old Jewish men go to retire and die. Just the men? Yes. Like that was kind of the reputation. Huh. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:50 And so kind of in the middle of that boom, he starts his own construction company, and they were able to really capitalize on that population boom. SAC, construction company, specialized in commercial construction so strip malls hospitals government buildings warehouses what else would qualify as commercial construction um uh gas stations oh please make this exhaust uh airports uh-huh okay fine i could keep going kristin i don't know you seem to be spinning so as they took on all of these projects um stan kind of became just like the overseer he was the boss and they had a lot of projects going at one time but he managed to kind of keep an eye on everything. He visited multiple job sites daily,
Starting point is 00:15:46 and he was a really tough guy. He was like, very big on quality, very big on not cutting corners. And it went well for him as company continued to grow and be very successful. He also saw an opportunity during that population boom to kind of branch out from just construction, and he dabbled in real estate development. He grew his business and then side businesses to include tons of employees and dozens of projects across the state of Florida. And along the way,
Starting point is 00:16:33 he got rich. While he was growing his business, so like 10 years went by and he like cycled through some wives. He had three wives in 10 years. That's quite a cycle. That's quite a cycle. And he wasn't what you would call like a super handsome guy this is how david described him david kradzczyk my buddy yeah he wasn't a handsome man in the traditional sense he was husky balding and well short of six but he was a commanding presence and he was super confident and super engaging short guys i'm telling you he enjoyed the company of women and he was never without like a woman on his arm at whatever event he was at and what he lacked in sex appeal his heavy wallet made up for well did he have a good personality yeah he was super super friendly super engaging yeah okay yeah but he was well short of six feet, Kristen. What could be grosser?
Starting point is 00:17:46 I know. I just think that's dumb. Like, is that the height that, like, all of a sudden you're super hot? I feel like in dating profiles, that's the cutoff. Oh. Don't you think? Maybe. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Anyway. Hang on. I have to get a cushion for my delicate butt. Your bony ass? Oh, how dare you? Are asses important these days? Look at my sweet dog. Even though Stanley was well under six feet,
Starting point is 00:18:22 which is apparently the deciding factor on whether you're hot or not. He had tons of women around him all the time. He was actually engaged to a woman who would have become his fourth wife when Joyce LeMay came into his life. He didn't have to go searching for her at that time joyce was a separated single mother who was new to miami and she was working as a secretary at sack construction oh oh stan came into work one day and there joyce was he introduced her to his circle of friends at a French restaurant in Miami one night in the fall of 1974. And she was 24 at the time. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Don't. And he was 40. Gross. It's just a 16 year difference. Yeah. And he's engaged to another woman. Uh-huh. He's just getting friendly with her. Yeah. Yeah, and he's engaged to another woman. Uh-huh. He's just getting friendly with her.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Yeah, yeah, that's great. Great. Keep going. I love it. After that meeting, Stan informed his fiancée that their engagement was off. Oh! And a few weeks later, on December 5th, so they had this dinner meeting
Starting point is 00:19:44 in the fall, and by December 5th. So they had this dinner meeting in the fall. And by December 5th, Joyce and Stan were married in an extravagant wedding at the Dunes Hotel in Las Vegas. He didn't learn many lessons, huh? He did not. Okay. No.
Starting point is 00:20:01 All of a sudden, Joyce was given a life of opulence beyond what she could ever imagine. She'd grown up very poor in a suburb of Chicago. She had a rough life. Her dad was abusive. Her mom ended up leaving her dad finally. Her mom ended up leaving her dad finally, and she actually went through a spell where she spent time in orphanages, foster care, group homes. And during that time, she said that she suffered a lot of sexual and physical abuse.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Finally, in 1964, an aunt of hers took her in, and she got to stay there, I think like from the time she was like 13 until she was 17 or something like that. So here's this young woman who needs a father figure and she meets this old dude. Great. He's 40. He's not an old dude. And she's how old?
Starting point is 00:21:03 24. Yeah. He's an old dude. He's not like old enough to be her dad. Technically, yeah, he could be. So she stayed with his aunt until she was 17 and at that age she left home and married another teenager named George.
Starting point is 00:21:26 They had a son nine months later, and things sucked for them. They didn't have any money. They fought all the time about it. About five years into the marriage, they decided that they were going to move to Miami to try and get in on this construction boom that was happening there. Her husband George hung drywall and so there was said to be lots of work there for him and so they moved in 1973 to Miami but less than a year later the marriage was over and George headed back to Illinois and left and left Joyce there in Miami. I mean,
Starting point is 00:22:11 willing when she stayed in Miami, she, but he hated it and was like, I'm out of here. And so the marriage ended. And at that time she got that job at sack construction. There's a chance that it's supposed to be pronounced S-A-C Construction, but I'm not going to call it that. Why would you when you can say SAC a whole bunch?
Starting point is 00:22:30 Okay, so this is how David Kradicek describes Joyce. She was young, pretty and petite at just five feet tall. Her raven hair and ochre eyes gave Joyce an exotic appeal. She was ambitious and well-spoken, despite modest education. She sounds like a Kardashian. She does kind of sound like a Kardashian. so she got married to stan just 10 days after her divorce from george was finalized and all of a sudden joyce had the life she had always desired an author who wrote a book about this said something about um right after they joyce and stan got married, she made this big, like, show of going back to the town that she was from. And she showed up in this luxury car and all of these fancy clothes and got out and bragged about how she'd married this millionaire and how she was going to be better than all of them.
Starting point is 00:23:42 You know, okay. I know that's not nice. But it'd be awesome to do, right? She was going to be better than all of them. You know, okay. I know that's not nice. But it'd be awesome to do, right? I'm just thinking, like, if you grew up in that kind of situation. Yeah, in, like, a super abusive situation. Yeah. You would come back in your designer clothes and be like, what's up, bitches? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:09 what's up bitches yeah so all of a sudden joyce had all the money in the world and she had social connections that she never had dreamed of they spent a ton of time at the miami ski club which i can only assume is water skiing because it's miami no they're so rich and then stan was also very close with his fraternity brothers and so they spent a lot of time with all of those people and stan put joyce through interior design interior design school something she'd always wanted to do she had loved decorating stuff even from a very young age i read in one article a story about how she'd always been very spendy even when she had no money. There's this
Starting point is 00:24:50 story about how she had when she was married to George they lived in this very modest house and she had spent like $160 in like 1970 on which would be like thousands of dollars adjusted for inflation on peacock feathers to put
Starting point is 00:25:06 in an arrangement in the living room oh my god yes well you have to have those i mean that's a necessity who doesn't have an arrangement of peacock flowers in their home flowers peacock feathers in their home kristen made me a very strong drink before we started recording. I had Norman even check to see if I put too much vodka in it. I'm sorry. It's very strong. Can't feel that skin flap anymore. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:25:38 It's terrifying to watch. Do you want more of the seltzer in there? No, it's great. Oh, you're just going to. If I pass out before the end of this, I guess it would really be a murder mystery. So when they weren't spending their time at the Miami Ski Club, they liked to go on vacation. Stan's favorite place was Steamboat Springs in Colorado. There are much ritzier places in Colorado.
Starting point is 00:26:01 He liked that it was super casual and down to earth and people didn't care that he had money. He liked that like everybody wore jeans and cowboy boots and whatever. And so he bought this big spread there like 650 acres and he called it Wolf Run Ranch. And then he on that ranch, he put this elaborate cedar cabin. And then, because he lived in Miami, he was like, well, shit, we got to get back and forth from Miami to Colorado. So what did he do? Bought a plane. Bought a plane. Sure.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Got to have a plane. Totally understand this guy. You have to have a plane. Things were going well for the Coens. Like, they kind of, they made smart investments. They bought land. They bought shopping centers. They bought land. They bought shopping centers. They bought restaurants.
Starting point is 00:26:47 And it was the undertaking of building this elaborate home in Steamboat Springs took a long time. And by the time it was finished, the couple had been married about seven years. And things weren't going as well in the marriage anymore. Joyce began spending longer stretches of time by herself in Colorado. And she developed her own circle of friends there, including country singer Tanya Tucker. Oh, really? Yes. They met at a bar one night and became good friends.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Yes. They met at a bar one night and became good friends. About that same time, things had started to, as I mentioned, fall apart a little bit in the marriage. First, the couple's sex life went south. Like, at the time of Stanley's death, Joyce said that they hadn't had sex in like two years. Oh, wow. And he's only 54. Like, it's not like medically there was a problem.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Well, but I mean, if one of you is in Colorado and the other one's in Florida, it's going to be hard to bang. Facts. But that wasn't the reason they weren't having sex. Actually, Joyce believed that Stan had started having an affair. And she constantly was on him about it, that she thought that he was banging this old flame of his while she was in Colorado. And he would deny it, and he'd say, you know, if you're so worried about it, come back. Like, maybe don't spend so much time away.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Hmm. And also, Stan warned Joyce that she would leave the marriage the same way she entered it. Oh. With nothing. Fuck that. Did she sign a prenup? Um, there's no mention of a prenup but that was his threat okay and for joyce the idea of returning to her former life after a decade of living this yeah high
Starting point is 00:28:59 style lifestyle i said style twice and I meant it. Really? Because you had regret in your eyes. No. You're misreading my eyes. She just couldn't, she couldn't fathom that. She couldn't go back to that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:16 But she started running her mouth to her friends about how much easier her life would be if Stanley was dead. Oh, okay. Well, you know what? I think I've solved the murder mystery. Have you solved the murder mystery?
Starting point is 00:29:30 I don't mean to say that I'm a genius. She apparently made this statement to multiple friends, multiple times, always under the influence of cocaine. Sure. And so people are like, oh, she's just all hopped up on that powder again. She doesn't mean it. As I mentioned earlier, this was the time of cocaine, especially in Miami at this time.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Anybody who had $100 was doing coke. Also had cocaine. Also had cocaine, yes. who had a hundred bucks was doing coke also had cocaine also had cocaine yes and it said that joyce was like never seen without sporting her cocaine mustache like it was widely known that she was a big coke head wow okay and she didn't keep it a secret. She did it with her friends, including Tanya Tucker. Hmm. Um, and a lot of times, like when she was in Miami,
Starting point is 00:30:29 she'd tell Stanley goodnight. He'd go to bed and she'd leave and go out to some club and do Coke in the bathroom, hang out in the champagne room. She was living it up. Am I missing out on something with cocaine? I have no idea. You think I've ever done coke, Kristen? No. I know. We're both...
Starting point is 00:30:52 You know, we took that dare pledge very seriously. In fifth grade. We were like, okay, we will never touch this stuff. We will never touch anything ever we promise officer lenquist although i did have that edible one time uh-huh and i told norman do we have time for this you threatened his life if he didn't get you i didn't threaten his life no no no you threatened to divorce him if he
Starting point is 00:31:25 didn't get you cookie cake no pizza yes so norman and i well i okay i'll run this story by him yeah but we both got high i'd never done it before i didn't realize like oh maybe i should have like half the edible so i took the same amount as Norman uh-huh high as a kite uh-huh for a long time I thought it had no effect on me and then I started thinking about the fact that my arms are very heavy and my tongue is very large and then I realized like okay I'm probably high so then I went in bed and I wrapped up like a comforter. Like a burrito? Yeah. Like a burrito. And Norman came in and started laughing at me. And then he said something about
Starting point is 00:32:09 how pizza sounded good. Yeah. And I got so angry. Because How dare you bring up pizza without having a pizza! Here's why I was angry. It's because he does this sometimes. He'll say, oh hot wings sound so good right now.
Starting point is 00:32:27 And then, you know, he'll put that thought into my head. Yeah. And then do nothing with it. And, like, I never say anything. Yeah. But then I was high. And so I sat up in bed and I said, if you do not order me a buffalo chicken pizza right now, I will divorce you. And Brandy, we're still married.
Starting point is 00:32:48 So he ordered that buffalo chicken pizza. Yeah, and it was delicious. So when word of Stan's murder gets out, there are a few people who don't immediately come up with Joyce as a suspect. She had everything to gain from his death. And by all accounts, Stan didn't have any enemies. So the fact that someone would break into his house with the express purpose of murdering him.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Yeah, that seems... Yeah, it's not a great mystery. But the investigation got off to a rocky start. Less than an hour into the investigation at the Cohen home, Joyce ordered police off the premises. She was like, nope, get out of here. And they were forced to leave and go get a search warrant. Wow.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Yeah. Yeah. So they didn't get to, like, start. So it took until, like, late that afternoon for them to secure a search warrant and, like, actually get to. Wow. Yeah. What logic did she have? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:55 I have no idea. Well, I'm sick of this. Yeah. Maybe she wanted to go to bed. Maybe she was coming down off that high. Maybe she wanted to get rid of some evidence. Who knows? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Maybe she wanted to flush the Coke in our house like i don't know so at the time the prosecutor who would be assigned to the case told police this is the first time i've been asked to prepare a search warrant because the widow would not allow the police to come into her house and conduct a crime scene search. Yeah. And her behavior was super odd. And she became the prime suspect. But this wouldn't be an open and shut case. There would be no quick resolution. Stan had been killed with four shots from a 38 caliber gun one had grazed his scalp two entered from the left side of his head and one from the right and police found the murder weapon pretty quickly they found it that next afternoon
Starting point is 00:34:59 in like an area of the yard where ferns were. So ferns are very leafy. Thank you. Yes. So it was just like tucked in the yard with the ferns. And the murder weapon was Stan's own gun. A Smith & Wesson revolver. Uh-huh. Joyce told the police that Stan had had that gun on him the night that he died.
Starting point is 00:35:24 She had woken him up about midnight and said that she'd heard a noise and asked him to investigate. She said that he looked around the house, looked around the yard, but found nothing. And so Joyce thought that he'd probably left that gun on his nightstand after he returned to bed, and those two shadowy figures she saw in the house no used it to kill him yeah no person they'd come into the house without a weapon uh-huh
Starting point is 00:35:50 yeah their only goal was to murder someone yeah and they came without a weapon and they were like wow this is so convenient that gun is sitting there what else would we do yeah no inside the house though they found a couple of problems a couple of pieces of evidence that caused problems with joyce's statement first they found a tissue in a trash can that contained snot handle it joyce's nose mucus as david kradzic put it ew why did he say nose mucus as David Kradzicik put it ew why'd he say nose mucus oh god I can't handle it has he never heard the word snot
Starting point is 00:36:31 I can't handle it either we're talking about a murder this is the part you can't handle I can't handle mucus anyway they found a used tissue it was Joyce's tissue cream filled oh god i'm sorry but on that tissue they also found gunpowder residue oh well mm-hmm another problem with her account came from an ear witness.
Starting point is 00:37:06 I have used this term before on this podcast and you gave me shit for it. That is legit what they called this person in this article. You know, when you think about it, it makes sense. Thank you. They didn't see it with their eyes. I will accept your apology. Brandy. I would like a cookie along with it, please.
Starting point is 00:37:26 From the bottom of my broken snot. no get into it um and this ear witness said that they had heard four gunshots just as joyce had said but they heard them at 3 a.m okay joyce didn't call the police until... 515. That's correct. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, the medical examiner... I'm waiting for this to get mysterious. So far, this has not been mysterious at all.
Starting point is 00:37:55 It's a murder mystery, Kristen. I don't know. You're going to have to throw in a red herring or something because uh okay okay so the medical examiner got to work trying to determine the cause of death and you know what they found uh well the cause of death was obviously being shot in the head time of death i'm sorry i thought you said maybe i did i meant time of death i i honestly don't know what i said but i meant time of death i really that'll be interesting to hear back i think it's very likely that i was being sassy and wrong all at once.
Starting point is 00:38:49 So, cause of death. Four gunshots to the head. Time of death. 3 a.m. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she for sure did it. Really?
Starting point is 00:39:04 Yes. What about the two shadowy figures that's bullshit is it yes oh my god what the hell was that well i got a text message here on my computer and i had the volume i always have the volume turned off on this but we were listening to The Lonely Island while we were getting ready. Because we were very excited about the Netflix special. It's true. This is so exciting. So excited
Starting point is 00:39:31 that Kristen jizzed in her pants. It's not my fault you were touching my butt. This episode's a shit show. This is a shit show. So Joyce hires herself a well-known miami defense attorney um and he immediately set up a lie detector test for joyce because remember it's
Starting point is 00:39:56 the 80s and that's like she was like i'd rather not thank you she agreed to take it oh but the first test was inconclusive. So she took another one. And it said she wasn't lying. Yeah, I... Case closed. Murder mystery. No. Whodunit.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Kristen. Joyce. For sure. With the Smith and Wesson in the bedroom. But police were like, yeah, we still think she did it. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm getting 800 text messages from my mom and sister that are not important in the least.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Wow. They're going to hear this. I know. And I think they will strongly disagree. What are they texting you? And we'll all decide. What's the name of that plus size swimsuit model and Casey
Starting point is 00:40:48 that that's the question my mom said and Casey sent a link to Google and my mom said you're my Google and Casey said nope it's after 10 p.m. and so I responded Ashley Graham which is who my mom said, you're my Google. And Casey said, nope, it's after 10 p.m. And so I responded, Ashley Graham, which is who my mom is referring to. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:41:17 So Joyce is like, that's it. See, my lie detector test came back good. I didn't do it. And police were like, nope, we think you did it. And they weren't the only ones that thought she did it. So did Stan's children, Gary and Jerry. So by this time, Gary and Jerry are adults. And Gary's a lawyer. And Jerry's like a very well-known TV reporter in South Florida.
Starting point is 00:41:42 And so five days after the murder, they filed a $5 million wrongful death lawsuit against Joyce. Whoa. Yeah. And they also filed paperwork to block her from getting any part of Stan's estate, which would have been worth only about $2 million actually. Really? worth only about two million dollars actually really because it turns out that uh stan was in a lot of debt wow yeah so his net worth of the like he'd taken on a lot of business debt and so his name's all over that business so he's responsible for that business debt the boom
Starting point is 00:42:21 had kind of like subsided and he was finding himself in some trouble so yeah when it all when it all like worked out it was going to be about two million dollars wow that was left i mean still not bad but no nothing to shake a stick at that's nothing to sneeze at shake a stick at no you say like enough money to shake a stick at right it's nothing to sneeze at. Shake a stick at. No, you say, like, enough money to shake a stick at, right? It's nothing to sneeze at. No, no, I can't say nothing to sneeze at. Ugh. Gross.
Starting point is 00:42:52 So what'd Joyce do? Of course, she responded with her own lawsuit. She filed an $11 million slander lawsuit against them. Okay, everybody calm down. Both suits were dismissed. Yes. But the investigation completely stalled out. There was nothing else to go on. They couldn't prove that Joyce had done anything.
Starting point is 00:43:18 And so. You're kidding me. No, they didn't have enough evidence. Fingerprints on the gun. Nope. Investigators, the gun. Nope. Investigators, detectives, whatever, they firmly believed that Joyce did this. But they weren't willing to risk losing the case to a jury by rushing forward with charges without solid proof. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:44 So they sat. and they waited and they waited and they sat and they they thought that they could get a break because they believed that maybe someone else really was involved they thought maybe she had hired someone to carry this out yeah someone would talk eventually uh-huh and they were right eventually they got a call from a man named frank zuccarello zuccarello he was part of a home invasion gang that uh broke into mansions oh uh in the miami area and he had been arrested for robbery just four days after
Starting point is 00:44:38 stan's murder he was facing a long prison sentence and uh he thought it might be the perfect opportunity for him to come forward and see if he could work a little deal yeah say what he knew about that cohen murder he told police so he like calls up the prosecutor and he's like i've got some information why don't you come why don't you come see me in prison and let's see what we can work out. So he told them that Joyce had hired him and two others from his robbery gang, Thomas Joslin and Anthony C. Caracciolo. Caracciolo. Oh, oh yeah that's definitely it he hired the c-a-r-a-c-c-i-o-l-o caracciolo give him a kick in the caracciolo
Starting point is 00:45:41 or the sack, whatever you want to say. Either one. He said that she had provided the gun, a sketch of the house so that the killers could easily make it
Starting point is 00:45:52 to Stanley's bed. And on the night of the murder, she turned off the alarm system, locked up the Doberman and left a sliding door open so that they could easily get in the house.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Well, there you have it. He said that they were paid with $100,000 worth of cocaine. Wow. Yes. See, don't you wonder what that looks like? Yeah. Like a Domino's bag of sugar? I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:46:18 I don't have a clue. Boy, you are really unprepared. I guess it depends on if it's cut or uncut, right? How much baby laxative is in there see you taught me about the baby laxatives for like a month authorities tried to piece this case together and get uh thomas and anthony to talk but they wouldn't say anything. They wouldn't implicate Joyce. They wouldn't give any information.
Starting point is 00:46:56 And in September of 1988, they were charged with the murder of Stan Cohen. It wasn't until November 2nd. Birthday! 1988. Your third birthday. 1985 over there um what are you trying to say sassy pants you're older than me it's a rare thing in my life these days so it wasn't until november 2nd 1988 so two and a half years after the murder that joyce cohen was finally arrested and charged with Stan's murder. Her trial began in the fall of 1989, and it started with the testimony of the first police officer to arrive on the murder scene, Officer Catherine Carter. She testified that Joyce was
Starting point is 00:47:42 dazed and spacey, and she was sitting on the floor of her living room saying, I shouldn't have done it. Oh. That's pretty bad. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she meant all that coke. Could have been both.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Another witness came forward and said that he had had a conversation with Joyce more than a year before Stanley was murdered that now carried a different connotation with him. His name was Frank Wheatley, and he was a supervisor at SAC. And he said that he'd done coke with Joyce on multiple occasions. And on one occasion, they'd had a frank discussion about the state of her marriage. She said that Stan was becoming boring to her. And she told him that she'd like to get divorced, but that she was afraid that she wouldn't get anything in the divorce. And so she wished she knew somebody that she could have kill him. Or she wished she could have the nerve to do it herself.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Okay, I don't understand this. Now I see this in a different light. I mean, what positive light do you see that in? I don't know what positive light you could take that in, but I could see maybe you're not taking it seriously because you're both all coked up. I guess, but damn. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Joyce Cohen had told basically everybody she ever talked to how unhappy she was with her marriage and so it was just like witness after witness after witness who was like yeah she said she wanted him dead yeah she said she was unhappy yeah she said they hadn't had sex in two years like oh god yeah really bad too many friends it's a problem um so her friend country singer tanya tucker she did not testify but she did like a a really long interview with detectives and it was like a 46 page transcript and that was actually put into court record even though she did not testify. Right. And so she said during that interview that she had always thought that Joyce seemed like kind of a pain-wracked person. Bottom line, she was extremely unhappy. She liked money.
Starting point is 00:49:58 That's the only thing she liked. Wow. Yeah. So Joyce's defense attorney tried to discredit these prosecution witnesses but there wasn't a lot too many of them yeah he was having a really hard time breaking any of this stuff down and then came the actual evidence the gunshot residue on the tissue that had her you know what in it um and then also the delay in reporting of the shooting. Prosecutors maintained that they believed, obviously,
Starting point is 00:50:31 that she had hired these men to do it and that the killers had accidentally dropped the murder weapon when they were fleeing from the house and that Joyce had seen that, picked it up with that tissue, dropped it into the fern garden, and then had taken that same tissue and blown her nose with it. And that's how gunpowder residue and her unmentionables got on it. Actually, unmentionables sounds so much dirtier than just snot. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Stop saying snot. I'm sorry. Can't handle it. The star witness for the prosecution was none other than frank zuccarello he got on the stand and he said she wanted her husband dead the murder was supposed to look like a botched burglary well you should have fucking taken something then yeah i mean we could give tips yes um he was a good witness he was lucid he was believable and he described everything from the planning meeting that he had with joyce which he said went down at a 7-eleven in north miami beach wow um and he gave uh an like an exact account of how the job had went down.
Starting point is 00:51:46 He said while they made sure that Joyce was waiting on the ground floor, they went upstairs and killed her husband. Again, her defense attorney tried to spin him as this conniving con who was trying to work a deal. Sure. And he got a deal. work a deal. Sure. And he got a deal. He ended up testifying in exchange for not being charged with anything in this case.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Wow. And getting his sentence for his robbery charge reduced to five years. Whoa. Yeah. That's a hell of a deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's too good of a deal.
Starting point is 00:52:28 It's a really good deal. Hmm. Mysterious, huh, Kristen? In what way? Hmm. I think we'll find out. Okay. But, as I said, he was a good good witness and the jurors believed him they deliberated for only like eight hours and they found joyce cohen guilty of first degree murder of course the
Starting point is 00:52:53 prosecution had put the death penalty on the table but the jury recommended against it and the judge imposed a life sentence plus 15 years for conspiracy. The judge told Joyce at the time of her sentencing, you committed this crime for financial gain and you did it in a cold, calculating manner. So Joyce went to prison. to prison like five years later in 1991 finally the other two men who were implicated in the crime anthony uh caracciolo and thomas jocelyn finally like agreed to a plea bargain i don't know why their trials were so delayed but they both took plea bargains um and pled no contest to second degree murder and caracciolo was believed to be the trigger man and he got 40 years and then Joslyn got 30 years. I believe both of them are out of
Starting point is 00:53:54 prison now. One I believe was released in 2006 and the other in 2010. So then Joyce is doing her time in Florida prison. And then in 1998, this Miami TV reporter comes forward and said that the lead investigator on the case told her confidentially in 1993 that he believed Joyce Cohen had acted alone in shooting her husband. And he said that he believed that Zuccarello made up the story. Just to get a deal. To get a deal. And that he had gotten all kinds of special treatment in order to come up with a believable story so that they could get the conviction because they wouldn't have been able to prove that she acted alone.
Starting point is 00:54:54 There was not enough evidence. Wow. So during the time that he was telling all of his version of it, During the time that he was telling all of his version of it, Zuccarello, to investigators and prosecutors and all of that, he was rewarded for his cooperation by being checked out of jail 60 times for police escorted trips to see the Miami Dolphins. What? To see his girlfriend and to get his hair cut at his favorite salon you are kidding me and then he also gets in exchange for his testimony no charges in this case and his robbery charges his sentence to five years for when he was facing like 25 years for it oh this is bad really bad so about that time in 1998 when this tv reporter came forward she said that she had received this information she had so she waited five years to like give this information because she they like the guilt had been just weighing on her and she really believed that there had been possibly some police corruption here and that for sure there were two men who were sitting in jail
Starting point is 00:56:09 that had been wrongly convicted yeah oh so on those grounds joyce cohen filed an appeal but nothing ever happened with it. And she remains in prison. I think she probably killed her husband. Yeah, I think so. But I think that they would not have been able to convict her without this dude's clearly made up story. Yeah. I think it's definitely, he was fed information.
Starting point is 00:56:39 I, I agree. And they were like, we know it's her, but we can't prove it. We need somebody. Oh. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. And those poor other guys. Yeah, because they never would admit to anything.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Uh-huh. And finally, they ended up just taking those plea deals just to get it over with. That makes, ugh. That makes me sick. I know. Yeah. So, I think you called it, Kristen. I think it was Joyce in the bedroom with the revolver.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Yeah, I'm afraid so. And those two poor guys just got implicated in probably something they never had anything to do with. And also, his name was Stan, right? Yeah. Poor Stan. Poor Stan. Absolutely poor Stan. God.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Yeah. All right, that's my murder mystery. Oh, my gosh. Okay, are you ready for Nazi Saboteurs? Yes. This is a crazy story. I had never heard of this. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:50 But, you know, obviously, we love FamousTrials.com. He has put up some new stuff. I don't know when he put it up, but I scrolled through the website and I was like, Nazi Saboteurs. I would remember this. So, this comes from basically two places. The Nazi Saboteurs Trial by Douglas O. Linder for FamousTrials.com. And The Inside Story of How a Nazi Plot to Sabotage the U.S. Well, do I want to?
Starting point is 00:58:17 No, I can read this. The Inside Story of How a Nazi Plot to Sabotage the U.S. War Eff effort was foiled by David A. Taylor for smithsonian.com. Do you want to know how dumb I am? Yes. I was like, oh, I shouldn't read this title because it shows that it was foiled. Well, obviously. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:58:42 Get it. It was late 1941, and Hitler was pissed. Mm-hmm. Germany had a bunch of spies working in the United States, and one of them had just been revealed as a double agent. Thanks to that double agent, the U.S. government captured and convicted 33 German spies. It made the Nazis look really stupid. And Hitler was not a fan. Not a fan of looking stupid.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Yeah, imagine that. He wore those little shorts and those socks, though. So you tell me. Who's looking stupid, buddy? So he said, that's it. We're starting up a new spy ring. god that was it's so strong i'm sorry you made it no i love it i'm so sorry can i breathe fire now well game of thrones was very unsatisfying so now you can be a literal dragon. Don't talk to me about it, Kristen. I know.
Starting point is 00:59:46 We've already discussed it. We're upset. Okay, so he says, we're starting a new spy ring, and this one's going to be better than ever before. Excellent. Really excellent? No! We're talking about Hitler's spy ring.
Starting point is 00:59:59 I know! I know how it ends. They called it Operation Pastorious. So that name paid homage to the founder of America's first German settlement. It was called Germantown. Creative. Very creative. So the Nazis set to work trying to find men who were excellent sneaky sneaks and who would blend in in America.
Starting point is 01:00:30 They started with 10 guys and whittled it down to eight. Each of the eight men were carefully chosen. They'd all spent a lot of time living in the United States. They spoke perfect English. Two of them were actually U.s citizens wow and um it says u.s citizens i think it means dual citizenship but you know whatever one had even served in the u.s army they were between the ages of 22 and 39 your eyes are watering seriously may I add something to that? Like more vodka?
Starting point is 01:01:10 No, don't you dare put more vodka in there. No, it's perfect. No, it's not. I love taking a giant shot of vodka through a straw. They all underwent a three-week training program led by a man named Walter Kapp. Walter set up his little spy school at a farm. The place had a gym, two shooting ranges, a classroom, a lab, the works. Each day started with a workout.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Then they did a three-hour session on how to use explosives. Great. In the afternoon, they practiced English and studied maps of America. They heard lectures about all the targets they'd need to hit. Places like railroads and industrial sites.
Starting point is 01:01:55 They got fake names and fake backstories. To pass the time they sang popular American songs like Oh Susanna. Don't you cry for me i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee isn't that weird to think about a bunch of german dudes singing that over there anyway so everything they learned they memorized finally at the end of their training they got their orders they divide into two groups of four, one led by
Starting point is 01:02:26 George Dash and the other led by Edward Curling. Are these their fake names or their real names? No, these are their real names. George Dash? Yeah. Pretty cool, huh? What? Sounds like George Glass. Sounds a little made up. Once they arrived in America, they were supposed to make all hell break loose. They were supposed to blow up aluminum plants in Tennessee, Missouri, and New York. They were supposed to blow up a plant in Philly and wreak havoc on the canal locks in Cincinnati and St. Louis. They'd go after the Hellgate Bridge in New York, where so many people would be affected. They'd go after the Hellgate Bridge in New York, where so many people would be affected. They'd go after Newark Penn Station and a three-track patch of railroad known as Horseshoe Curve in Pennsylvania.
Starting point is 01:03:17 They were even going to go after New York's water supply. The attack was going to be crazy. And if they could pull it off, the German government was going to reward them handsomely. They'd each get a ton of money. Plus, they wouldn't have to serve in the military. Which I would think, yeah, if you basically blow up America, I feel like you've done your part? What point are you trying to make? What?
Starting point is 01:03:47 That's your war effort, I guess, right? Then, after Germany won the war, they could come back, get easy peasy jobs with high salaries for the rest of their lives. Great. Yeah, I'm real happy for these Nazis. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:05 So the guys do their three weeks of training. They say goodbye to their lives. Great. Yeah, I'm real happy for these Nazis. Yeah. Yeah. So the guys do their three weeks of training. They say goodbye to their families. Then they went to Berlin where they spent three days touring railroad yards,
Starting point is 01:04:15 canal locks, aluminum plants. They learned everything they needed to know for their incredibly wide reaching attack. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:04:24 Can you fucking imagine? No! My understanding was they had enough to do this for like two years. I mean, it was going to be like a very, I mean, just a horrible, horrible attack. Then they had a lovely banquet, headed off to France. And on May 26th, the first group loaded into a submarine and headed for Long Island.
Starting point is 01:04:49 Two days later... Nobody's going to notice the submarine coming up in Long Island? Let's find out. Okay. Two days later... I just think that's not the greatest way to get them over there. What do you think is the greatest way? Disney Cruise? I think they should just like go over like you know
Starting point is 01:05:06 on a plane like a regular like they should come in like they're that's not very sneaky that's not not they're they're supposed to be passing as americans right yeah uh-huh so i don't i'm an american i've never docked my submarine in long island but they are bringing oh you're right they gotta bring explosives with them. They can't bring those on a plane. All right, all right, all right. Yeah, okay, okay. All right, I'm getting you now.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Sorry. It's okay. How dare I? Why don't you understand Nazi attacks? I know. I did forget about the explosives. So two days later, the second group headed for Florida. Were they also at a submarine?
Starting point is 01:05:50 Did you get bored in the middle of that question? Yes, they were also at a submarine. Submarine. You're going to love this part. First group landed on the beach of long island june 12th 1941 yes it's my birthday i mentioned your birthday you mentioned my birthday okay it took a lot of self-control when you mentioned my birthday i was like she's gonna love this that both of our birthdays get mentioned love birthdays you do love i do i love birthdays i'm excited for your birthday this year coming up i know me and norm same day
Starting point is 01:06:35 yep same glorious day that's right is that your favorite day of the year no that's rude no i do love that. I'm sorry. Your two favorite people on the planet were born that day? Yes, I just made sure. Me? One of your favorite people? You are one of my favorite people.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Thank you. But you already knew that. Thanks. One of my favorite people, too. Good. That would be really awkward if I was like, also ran. Honorable mention. Honorable mention. Honorable mention, Kristen Caruso.
Starting point is 01:07:08 So these guys arrive on the beach. Kristen Caruso. Hey, it was dark out and they were. Oh, I was going to try to sing this script. It wasn't going to work out. That's really bad. So it's dark out. They're at the beginning of carrying out this horrible mission and like
Starting point is 01:07:27 right off the fucking bat a member of the u.s coast guard yeah because this was a terrible fucking plan i don't see why you're saying it was so terrible did it work what's this coast guard guy's gonna say the hand gesture you just gave me i was like keep it going okay okay prove me wrong i will prove you wrong actually okay this man's name was john cullen he was 21 years old and he was unarmed oh shit they killing well he was shocked as hell, first of all. Uh-huh. Because let me lay out what he saw. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:08:08 Okay? By this point, we'd been at war for like six months. Yeah. And all of a sudden, these four dudes show up in a raft on the beach of Long Island. Yeah. Wearing Nazi uniforms. Why are they wearing Nazi uniforms? They're supposed to be fucking spies.
Starting point is 01:08:27 I guess they skipped that day in spy school. It was only three weeks. That's so fucking dumb. Okay, so I'm so glad you're having this reaction because I about fell out of my chair when I read that. But then when I got back in my chair, I realized. Okay, so sounds stupid. Sounds incredibly stupid. It was actually very smart because if you are captured and don't give me that look. If you are captured in a military uniform, then you're a prisoner of war. If you
Starting point is 01:09:00 are captured and you're in plain clothes being a spy, you get, like, executed for sure. So this was like, okay, we're going to show up. If we're caught right off the bat, we're prisoners of war. All right. Yeah. But poor John Cohen. Can you imagine? No.
Starting point is 01:09:21 You would shit your pants. Yes. You'd be like, oh, hey, guys. Yeah. So John ran up to these guys and he's like, what are you doing here? Oh my gosh. And they're like, oh, we're just here doing some fishing. Poor Brandy.
Starting point is 01:09:42 She's struggling through the vodka. We're just trying to do some fishing. We're a little lost. But we're definitely fishermen. We're just lost fishermen. Oh, my gosh. In Nazi uniforms. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:58 John didn't buy it. And he said, okay, you guys need to follow me back to the station. The leader of, yeah yeah i no thank you yeah so the leader of this group was george dash and he did most of the talking and he was like yeah we're not we're not gonna do we're not gonna follow you anywhere and um your parents probably want to see you again right you run along yeah i wouldn't want to see you again, right? Why don't you run along? Yeah, I wouldn't want to kill you. Yeah. So then he pulls out this fat wad of cash. It's $260.
Starting point is 01:10:31 Adjusted for inflation. $4.5K. Wow. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's pretty good fat wad of cash. He puts it in John's hand and said, Here, take this. Have a good time.
Starting point is 01:10:43 Forget what you've seen here. By the way, my name is George John Davis, and you'll hear about me soon from Washington. Now, if you saw me again, you wouldn't recognize me, right? And John said, no, no, I would not. said no no i would not uh-huh so with that john walked back to the station meanwhile the spies did not waste any time they took their stuff their explosive it's their uniforms their detonators and they buried them so that they could come back and get them later after they'd done their recon work then they got on the train and headed into the city. Did they take their fucking uniforms off yet? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They took those off. To anyone who saw them, they just looked like commuters.
Starting point is 01:11:30 They were on, like, the 7 a.m. train. They had their little newspapers and just acting like dudes headed to work. Yeah. Once they got into the city, two of them checked into one hotel, two of them checked into another. Meanwhile, John went back to the Coast Guard station, huffing and puffing, and he tells the guys what just happened. And they're like, holy shit. So they went back there where he said he'd run into some Nazis.
Starting point is 01:11:57 And, of course, by that point, no one was there. But they did see a bunch of footprints and an area of disturbed ground. So they start digging. Sure enough, there's like all this shit. Then, on June 17th, the other group of Nazi spies washed up on the beach of Pona Vedra, Florida, which was where my family went on vacation this past December. Bless you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Why'd you sneeze into your hand? Where the fuck else am I supposed to sneeze? Don't you know the new way of sneezing? No. You're supposed to sneeze into a cave like a bat. Yeah, because you don't want to get the germs all over your hands. Yeah. Clearly, your nieces and nephews
Starting point is 01:12:45 have not discussed this with you. I'm not going to learn from you. You just sneeze into my car. Brandy, your Range Rover is my Kleenex. How dare you! I try to find the most expensive Kleenex around. So, they wash up on the beach where we frolicked and played this december this time there was no random coast guard dude to interrupt them so they just buried their stuff on the beach took the
Starting point is 01:13:14 greyhound bus into jacksonville and then they split up two headed for cincinnati two headed for chicago everything was looking great for the Nazis. Great. But there's something I haven't told you. What? Was one of them a double agent? More than one of them's a double agent. Who's the double agent? It's about the first group of spies, Brandy.
Starting point is 01:13:38 Uh-huh. The evening that those guys paired off to their different hotels, George Dash and Ernest Berger shared a room together. So, actually, I don't know that they shared a room together. Anyway, they were paired together. Okay. So they went out to grab dinner together, and they started talking. And I'd love to know exactly how this conversation went,
Starting point is 01:13:58 but the bottom line was that they discovered that both of them secretly hated Nazis. How do you find that out? Because you can't just tell the other guy that you hate Nazis. You think they, like, did, like, a look thing? Yeah, like... And then, like, so... So, I got a scale of 1 to 10, like, how into Hitler are you?
Starting point is 01:14:23 I think the Fuhrer's little pants are pretty stupid. Yeah, you start out like that. You're like, can you believe those pants he's wearing? You gradually work your way up to Chines. So, yeah, they discover they both secretly hate Nazis. Oh, my gosh. Oh, and the other rule, by the way, for them, was if at any point... Don't talk about Fight Club.
Starting point is 01:14:48 I mentioned Fight Club in this script. You do not! I do, I do. So, the other rule was that if at any point one of them started to get a little iffy about the mission... You should kill them? Yeah, immediately. So this was a hugely risky conversation. So, George
Starting point is 01:15:04 had lived in the United States from 1922 to 1939, 17 years. And he honestly loved America. He said he was really proud of it and thought of America as his country. Ernest's relationship with the Nazi government was a little more complex. with the Nazi government was a little more complex. He used to be a Nazi, but in 1927, he left Germany for America, moved to the Midwest, joined the Wisconsin National Guard, and became a U.S. citizen. Eventually, he came back. Something went down when he came back to Germany. So FamousTrials.com says that he was basically on the wrong side of some kind of intra-party dispute so he got charged with falsification of papers went to prison for like a
Starting point is 01:15:54 year and a half and so as a result he hated the nazi party he blamed them for sending him to prison over nothing yeah he blamed them for his wife's miscarriage, which she had during all the stress of this. Again, no word on whether he was equally bothered by the genocide. But anyway, he was really upset about his own prison time. Okay. Wow. I'm a little bitchy. But anyway, the fact that they...
Starting point is 01:16:22 I think we're allowed to be bitchy about genocide, Kristen. Okay. I just, you know, yeah i get yeah yeah uh-huh yeah uh sticking with the tone of the last episode genocide not good not good at all a lot of people don't know a lot of nazis don't know. A lot of Nazis don't know. A lot of Nazis don't know genocide is bad. That's why we started this. That's right. So the Smithsonian Magazine article had this a little different. They told it more like when they got to the hotel, George immediately told Ernest, hey, I'm going to tell the FBI what's going on. You can either join me or I'll kill you.
Starting point is 01:17:03 I don't believe that. I don't really believe that one either. I think he felt it out more. Yeah. But I really think George, I mean, George could have killed John, the Coast Guard guy. I just think he didn't want to kill anybody. So I kind of believe that too. I think the first story is the way to go. So either way, it seemed like this was not a tough sell.
Starting point is 01:17:24 Both of them were not into the nazis what's going on with you i've lost my shoe well you want to look down look how far away it is how did that i don't know i can barely reach you got it the wrong way i've got it figured out do you you? Got the toes of a monkey, Kristen. And you smell like one, too. Okay. That night, George called the FBI. George hoped that if he told them about this plan,
Starting point is 01:18:01 he might be allowed to stay in America. So he talked to some dude at the FBI, and he talked about the Nazi submarine and how he had important information. And then he said, I'll be in Washington in a few days to deliver this information personally to J. Edgar Hoover. Then he hung up the phone. Did he wear' panties? What? J. Edgar Hoover? Did he? Didn't he wear ladies' panties? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:18:29 Really? I don't know. Maybe I should substantiate this. What are you going to Google? Whoa. There's a lot of hits on that. Did J. Edgar Hoover. Ew. Oh, God. i clicked on the wrong site it is a a common belief that he wore ladies panties like all the time or just occasionally yeah like under his suit wow
Starting point is 01:19:01 frilly panties and garters. It's a man with a lot of secrets. Take my panty knowledge seriously, Kristen. How dare you question me? What else you got? I don't know. Just comes up whenever, you know, it's pertinent. Okay.
Starting point is 01:19:17 It's not like at the forefront of my brain. You came out with it pretty quickly. So he hangs up the phone. And that agent was like, what the hell was that about? It seemed like a prank call. Or if not a prank call, a call from some weird dumbass who didn't know what he was talking about. But then the FBI got a call from the Coast Guard. And the Coast Guard was like, yeah, crazy thing happened in Long Island today.
Starting point is 01:19:48 On Long Island? In Long Island? Both is fine. Whatever. That's where it happened. So the FBI was like, both is fine. Either is fine. Both are fine. Wow.
Starting point is 01:19:59 Beautifully said. So they're like, whoa, this is real. A few days later, George arrived in D.C. He checked into room 351 of the Mayflower Hotel, which is still around. You can Google it. Mayflower Hotel, Washington, D.C. It is gorgeous. Oh, it is gorgeous.
Starting point is 01:20:24 Let's go there. Wouldn't it be cool if we could check into room 351? Yeah. Oh, it looks like they even have a nice little bar with just straight vodka for Brandy. Thank you. That's how she likes it. That's how I take it. So he calls them up, and he's like, hello, is J. Edgar Hoover in?
Starting point is 01:20:43 And they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You're not talking. Yeah, you don't just, hello, is J. Edgar Hoover in? And they're like, ha ha ha ha ha. You're not talking. You don't just get to call up J. Edgar Hoover. So they're like, we're coming to you. We're going to interrogate you for two days. George told them everything. He even handed them $82,000 in cash that the German government had given him. Wow.
Starting point is 01:21:04 I didn't adjust it for inflation. Fuck. What year is it? 1941. Hold on. $82,000. This drink is making me a real man. You're getting some hair on your chest, aren't you? I got some hair on my chest.
Starting point is 01:21:20 That was already there. Wow. How much? $1.4 million. Whoa. Yeah, so he just hands it over to them. Over the course of two weeks, the U.S. government captured and arrested the seven other spies, which was not hard to do. George told them everything they needed to know. He gave names, addresses, descriptors, and Ernest gave information, too. He gave names, addresses, descriptors, and Ernest gave information, too.
Starting point is 01:21:57 Another thing I read said that George went off to Washington and he left Ernest in charge of, like, making sure the other guys stayed, you know, kind of within his reach so that they could take this whole operation down. So essentially, George, with some help from Ernest, handed the U.S. government their whole mission on a silver platter. The story hit the media, and boy, was it great. The FBI were heroes. Thanks to all of their very hard work and their all-knowing psychic powers, they had seized eight Nazi saboteurs. Yes, Brandy, yes, because of their very hard work. No, it's because of George Dash. No, because they'd been so good at their
Starting point is 01:22:29 jobs. Oh, poor George Dash. Mm-hmm. The public learned that Nazi spies had snuck into the United States with plans to blow shit up for the next two years, but the FBI stopped them before they could carry out their dastardly deeds.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Brandy, it's all the FBI. They're the ones who are the heroes here. If you want a hero, it's J. Edgar Hoover and his little frilly panties. Yeah. How did they do it? george dash told them everything no super secret fbi work randy you're not sophisticated enough to know the real story if we told you they're gonna charge him with espionage aren't they and he's going to be sentenced to death. So here's the real story. Kristen. Brandi. Here's the real story.
Starting point is 01:23:28 Give me a wink if I'm correct. It was all super hard work from the FBI. And you know, yes. Kristen did like a weird blinky thing. I don't know if it was a wink or not, guys. You know, hey, George Dash did help. Uh, no! George Dash did everything
Starting point is 01:23:45 I'm going to read to you from a Washington Post article from that time period They said that he cooperated with United States officials in procuring evidence against the others Yeah, not Oh, I am calling you up, I am telling you I'm telling you everything Brandy, you might want to sip on more of that vodka Oh, I am calling you up. I am telling you. I'm telling you everything. I'm going to charge him with espionage.
Starting point is 01:24:08 Brandy, you might want to sip on more of that vodka. Yeah. Carry on. Am I going to get pissed? I'm going to get pissed. I'm already pissed, so. Yeah. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:24:27 Needless to say, the FBI loved all the positive press they were getting. And so did the rest of the government. I'm so sorry. Okay, show me how much vodka did you put in this fucking thing. Okay, so the amount you have right now, that's how much vodka was in there. No way. I'm serious. It was a lot of vodka.
Starting point is 01:24:47 I went up three rounds. That's a lot. Norman told me it wasn't. He lied. I'm very sorry. You gave me three fingers of vodka? Okay, here's the problem. I buy my vodka from Costco, and I have no control over that bottle once it gets a gluggin'. A gluggin'.
Starting point is 01:25:13 Woo! The good news is you can sleep on my lovely sofa with peanut by your side. Peanut will cuddle with me. So, the FBI was loving all the positive press they were getting. I'm sure they were. So did the rest of the government. Here we were at war with Germany, and we had this uplifting
Starting point is 01:25:36 story about how awesome we were at stopping bad things from happening to us. The fact that it wasn't super true, meh, Minor details. Except those weren't minor details. No, it's a huge fucking detail.
Starting point is 01:25:51 Uh-huh. And pretty soon all these guys were gonna go to trial and the truth was gonna come out at trial. Everyone would learn two things. That these guys were only caught because George gave them all up. And that if George hadn't spoken up,
Starting point is 01:26:12 those attacks could have gone off without a hitch. I mean, those guys landed in Florida. They were just like, no one knew. You know? Reality was much scarier than the heroic fiction that filled our newspapers. President Roosevelt was in a tight spot. If this case went to federal district court, the truth would come out. And maybe the guys wouldn't get much of a punishment.
Starting point is 01:26:42 They were being charged with sabotage. But had they really committed sabotage yet? No! He wasn't even 100% sure that they could prove an attempt to commit sabotage. I think he probably could. Yeah, attempt. Prosecutors could definitely get them on violating immigration laws, but that's like maybe two years.
Starting point is 01:27:08 Roosevelt wanted to maintain the narrative that was playing out in the press, and he wanted the eight spies to get the death penalty. I knew it! On July 2nd, 1942, he ordered a military tribunal, which came with several advantages. Yeah. First of all, that shit is secret as hell. Yep. Second. Operates under a veil of secrecy.
Starting point is 01:27:35 Mm-hmm. Much like IHOP. The pancake. The church, not the pancake house. I don't know. I think some of their stuff is a little mysterious. Definitely questionable. Second, they don't drag i think some of their stuff is a little mysterious definitely questionable second they don't drag their feet at all everything's super fast and third they don't
Starting point is 01:27:52 give out piddly little two-year sentences uh-uh they're like hang them tomorrow yeah this was a super rare move the last time anyone had called for a military tribunal was when Lincoln was assassinated. Holy shit. This was rare, a little weird, but we were at war. So Roosevelt felt like he could get away with it. Here were the rules for the tribunal. It would consist of seven military officers. They could make their own rules.
Starting point is 01:28:26 And ultimately, they didn't have to reach a unanimous decision. Two-thirds of the group could make the final decision. And by final, I mean like final, all caps, because there's no appeals. Only President Roosevelt could review the decision if he wanted to. You okay? Have you always had two of those tables? No. I noticed you kept looking at them.
Starting point is 01:28:48 It's way too many tables in this room. A lot of tables. I feel like you're cloning. Are you cloning the tables? Yes. That makes two of us. Okay. Do you want to tell the freaking dad joke that Norman told?
Starting point is 01:29:03 I laughed so hard. You really did. Yeah. Yeah. So. Oh, no, you're laughing just thinking about it. I can't even remember it. So, okay, we were over at Brandy's house for movie night this weekend, and Norman says
Starting point is 01:29:17 the dumbest joke of all time. He goes, hey, you know, Kristen was telling me that she doesn't know how cloning works. And you came in from the kitchen and you were like, what? Jesus! And I was like, that makes two of us! You about died! You laughed so hard that your dog cried. My dog always cries when i laugh he's concerned i'm injured
Starting point is 01:29:52 that's weird i think that barker left a review on the podcast so okay military tribunal yeah super secret oh scary sorry the reason i have more tables in here because we had the mother's day celebration over here and um actually a mildly funny story so i brought up all these extra tables to put food out and stuff, but I also took one of those tables over there, put them on the end of my dining room table for, you know, more seating. Yes. Put a tablecloth over the whole thing. Little did my father know that that table over there isn't quite as wide as the dining room table. So he loaded up an entire plate of food. And then sit.
Starting point is 01:30:47 It fell all over. Of course, it fell all over him. Classic DP. So, I realized I looked like a total asshole. And you're like, Dad! No, no. You just started laughing? I laughed so hard because, okay, and I made like sausage brunch, so I mean it was an ooey-gooey mess.
Starting point is 01:31:12 And it was just all down his leg. And he was pissed. And I just started laughing so hard. I think partly because sometimes my dad cracks me up because his reactions are so different from my reaction. Like if I were at somebody's house and I spilled food all over myself. Partly because sometimes my dad cracks me up because his reactions are so different from my reaction. Like if I were at somebody's house and I spilled food all over myself, I think I'd be really embarrassed. So for him to be annoyed was just... He was like, well, I didn't know that there was some secret small table.
Starting point is 01:31:49 Well, he's got sausage right in there. How are you preparing your sausage? Haven't you ever had sausage brunch? It's delicious. The fucking sausage brunch it's delicious oh my stomach Oh, he was so mad. What the fuck is sausage, bro? So it's... Why are you acting like that's a food everyone has had? Because I feel like...
Starting point is 01:32:36 Okay, everyone has had it. Let me explain. So you take, like, stuffing, and then you mix up, like, cheese and eggs and, like, cream and mushroom soup. This is such a Midwest dish. You do spicy sausage on top. You bake it in the oven. It's delicious.
Starting point is 01:32:59 I've never heard of that. I'll make it sometime. Please do. And then I will let it run down my leg. It tastes the best when you drop it into your lap. And then you get mad at the host. I really didn't think it was that
Starting point is 01:33:23 hard to see that the table underneath was like a little smaller. You know what? This won't be a problem at my new big house. That's right. There will be plenty of room for everyone. Okay. Sausage brunch. Is sausage brunch not a thing people know about?
Starting point is 01:33:49 Okay, see, for the longest time, I thought it was like my family recipe. I think it is. But no, no. Then I started dating Norman. Yeah. And I spent Christmas with them one time and they had sausage brunch. And I was like, oh, this is a thing that everyone has. Or maybe Norman and I were meant to be.
Starting point is 01:34:09 I mean, I would surely hope we're meant to be if we're married. Yeah. I hope so. Norman's a good guy. I mean, we almost got divorced over... Over edibles and pizza. Okay. This episode. This is an After Dark episode. We can't... I mean some pizza. Okay. This episode.
Starting point is 01:34:26 This is an after dark episode. We can't. I mean, it's not our fault. I think it's kind of our fault that it's this late after dark and that I should never be in charge of pouring drinks. Did I tell you about the time that Jay and I got my grandma drunk? No! So my brother-in-law, Jay, Jay and I both like strong... From Snaked in the Lake.
Starting point is 01:34:51 Fake news, turns out. That's another episode. That's an old story. You'll have to go hunt that one out. I have no idea what episode it's from. So we both like strong drinks. And we were in charge of making the margaritas for Memorial Day one summer. So we were making the margaritas.
Starting point is 01:35:09 And we were both tasting them. And we were like, yeah, this is great. This is great. We're so awesome at making margaritas. So we served everybody the margaritas. Grandma starts drinking hers. And everyone kind of commented on how strong they were. But whatever.
Starting point is 01:35:22 We thought we were awesome. Grandma got lit. Well, then it was time for everyone to stand up and go over to the table. Grandma took a little tumble. Oh, my God! She was okay. It was like, oh, shit. I blame Jay.
Starting point is 01:35:41 I do, too. Yeah. Yeah. You've never experienced a strong beverage at my house. So right away, the tribunal was like, the number one rule of Fight Club is we don't talk about Fight Club. They decided to make the whole thing a secret. The prosecution was led by Attorney General Francis Biddle and some other dude whose name I did not write down. When asked why...
Starting point is 01:36:07 Everybody drink. Okay, should we talk about that, too? Yeah, so someone on our Reddit page did, like, a live commenting while they were listening to the episode, and they suggested a drinking game where every time Kristen says, now, I didn't put this in my notes, but...
Starting point is 01:36:23 But here we go. And oh, the irony, because I didn't put this in my notes, but here we go. And oh, the irony because I ended up saying it twice in that episode. My favorite part of that whole thing was they started it off with like, I'm going to be live commenting this. I'm sure no one will read this. So Kristen, Norm
Starting point is 01:36:41 and I were at dinner and we read it aloud and loved every minute of it. I think you and I loved it more than Norm did. I think Norm checked his email. We didn't. Freaking Norm. Kids these days. Kids these days. That's right. Gamers. Careful. That's
Starting point is 01:36:59 like all of our audience. Gee, I can't imagine why I keep losing my place. No kidding biddle oh how did you francis very nice i am impressed i bet his friends called him frank of course they did yeah but i'm just saying like you tell your stories and i can never keep anyone's name straight i usually get the first letter and that's it. Anyway, so the prosecution released a statement. It read,
Starting point is 01:37:28 we do not propose to tell our enemies the answers to questions which are puzzling them. So they're acting like we have to keep this a secret because, you know, it was such good
Starting point is 01:37:39 intelligence work and if the Nazis found out that we had dolphins with little ray guns on them or whatever. So that's... Don't want to get sharks with freaking work and if the nazis found out that we had dolphins with little ray guns on them so that's when you get sharks with freaking laser beams on their heads all eight of the men pled not guilty three military officers acted as their defense attorneys
Starting point is 01:38:00 george got one and the rest got two others almost as soon as the trial began the defense attorney the defense attorney i'm sorry defense attorney colonel kenneth royal said that roosevelt's decision to move this trial into a military tribunal was unconstitutional i think a the in there would have been just fine. Really? Okay, you know what? You know what was really throwing me off? What? Sometimes, and this is very embarrassing, I will read the word colonel as spelled.
Starting point is 01:38:37 And I saw the word, and I thought, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. I even, like, when I was running through it today, I was like, I better not mess up. And the colonel stood up. So he said. Don't we all do that though?
Starting point is 01:38:54 Like don't you. Huh. Maybe this is embarrassing. No say it. Don't you like when you read Wednesday don't you like. Say Wednesday. I feel like some words yes some words no. but colonel is like one that i really i mean i've got to be concentrating so he said this belongs in federal district court and we all know
Starting point is 01:39:13 it the prosecution acted like so offended that he would even say this they were like how dare you as a military man question the orders of the commander in chief? And it's like, oh, OK, so we're all military. We can't question anything. That's great. But the defense pressed on. Colonel Kenneth was like, you know, it doesn't make sense for a bunch of military officers to be in charge of this verdict. said it could create like a conflict of interest because if the evidence was more favorable favorable to the defendants the jury might find it difficult or embarrassing to convict them i gotcha
Starting point is 01:39:52 or to not convict them yeah i i have jury in quotation marks here you didn't do air quotes so i didn't how was i to know that i thought thought I said jury. Like, I was really like, mm. I thought the fog was hitting you. That, too. I'm very hot. Are you hot? I don't know. I mean, like, sexy, though. You're just going to hold that up for the rest of the day?
Starting point is 01:40:17 Yeah, I really need, like, a hair tie. Do you mind if I do it? Okay. Get it. I mean, why are you looking over there? Like, you've got all the hair ties? I'm wondering if I've got a hair tie in here, Missy. And the answer is...
Starting point is 01:40:30 No. I have a pad. All right, I'm back. Guess who's back? Back again. Shady's back. Tell a friend. Guess who's back?
Starting point is 01:40:43 Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back. Guess who's back. Guess who's back. Guess who's back. Na na na. Oh no. Should that be left in? I feel like half this episode
Starting point is 01:40:56 should be cut out. Okay. But the argument didn't work. Should I back up? No. Just right there. But the argument didn't work. Should I back up? No. Just right there. But the argument didn't work. What argument? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:41:09 That this should go to federal court. Yeah. That was the argument. Very good, Brandi. The days dragged on. At one point, George's defense attorney announced that he wanted to read a document out loud. It was a statement from George. It was 254 pages and it was single statement from George. It was 254 pages,
Starting point is 01:41:25 and it was single-spaced. Single-spaced? 254 pages. He wanted to read that aloud? And he did. And it took two days, and the attorney... No!
Starting point is 01:41:37 Yes, the attorney general was so pissed that he just left. I was going to say, that's like a filibuster. Yeah, I mean, it's ridiculous. Each day at the end of the trial, the tribunal would provide the media with a very brief summary of what happened that day.
Starting point is 01:41:53 Because, you know, they wanted to be transparent. Transparency! Oh, no. I will euthanasia you. Right up there on the projector! Use a vis-a-vis marker. Finally, 12 days into the trial, the defense was like, this is bullshit. I'm going to go to federal court and we're going to challenge whether the president was right to have called this military tribunal.
Starting point is 01:42:24 Quick side note. The only reason that Kenneth did that was because President Roosevelt called this military tribunal. Quick side note. The only reason that Kenneth did that was because President Roosevelt had basically said he could. FDR was like, sure, if you want to question my authority, that's totally fine. But the only reason that Roosevelt said that was because the attorney general had said, look, Roosevelt, if you don't act like you're okay with having your authority questioned, then it's going to look like these German dudes are not getting a fair trial. And, you know, in America, we give fair trials.
Starting point is 01:42:53 That's right. So defense attorney Kenneth Royal was all fired up. At this point, it was the summertime and the weather was hot. You could jump right in. And the Supreme Court. And the weather was hot, you could jump right in. And the Supreme Court. And the weather's hot. Yes. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:43:11 You hit the spot? Sure. Surely that's not all I heard. So the Supreme Court wasn't in session. So he went to a few of the justices individually. And this part is kind of long and boring. So, you know, la, la, la, la, la. What you need to know is that the court ultimately said yes military tribunal is fine okay carry on back to the trial george and ernest both testified that they never planned on committing sabotage they said they only
Starting point is 01:43:39 participated in spy school and all that crap to get get the intel. No, they said they just wanted to get back to the United States. They were just going to show up and hang out. Okay. But the prosecution was like, nice try. If you love America so much, why did you
Starting point is 01:43:59 go back to Germany in the first place? The prosecution also downplayed the role. It's the vodka. The prosecution also downplayed. Oh, no. Oh, no. Did they downplay the rail? the prosecution also downplayed the role that george had played oh i'm like a champ thank you
Starting point is 01:44:39 in like a professional speaker this is why i have a podcast so they downplayed his role helping the FBI catch all his fellow saboteurs. They said that if he'd really wanted to be helpful, he would have immediately gone to the FBI as soon as he landed on Long Island. He would have told them everything right away before that second submarine arrived on the Florida coast. No. I agree. I think that's such bullshit. Hmm. No. I agree. I think that's such bullshit. That is bullshit. Huh.
Starting point is 01:45:12 I mean, if the rule is you murder anyone who looks like they're getting a little iffy about the plan, like, you have to wait till you're alone. Absolutely. Yeah, I... Uh-uh. I don't buy it. so the defendants had a variety of reasons for pleading not guilty george and ernest said that they never wanted to commit
Starting point is 01:45:32 sabotage a few of the other guys said that they did that they had fully planned to commit sabotage but then they came to america and they liked it so much that they decided not to commit sabotage after all. Which I think sounds like bullshit. Yeah, a bunch of malarkey. But I mean, that's really your only card you can play. Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, this is such a beautiful country you have. I'm so aware about this amazing country.
Starting point is 01:46:02 What is that, sausage brunch? We don't have that in Europe. You have amazing country. What is that? Sausage brunch? It's so good. I need it off my pants. All the guys basically said that they volunteered for their mission, not because they necessarily wanted to be part of it, but because they knew that they'd be in huge trouble if they didn't. During the defense's closing arguments, Kenneth made a big case for George and Ernest. He said they never even wanted to commit sabotage. They loved America. They wanted to live here and be part of this country. And above all, please remember that none of these men actually hurt anybody. They didn't do anything. He said that sentencing them to death would be excessive.
Starting point is 01:46:50 He said they did not hurt anybody. They did not blow up anything. George's attorney, Carl Reistein, talked about the fact that George had taken it. I believe it's pronounced Carl. Damn it, Brandi. I thought I did such a good job just sailing past it. I was like, I'll cut that for sure. Now everyone knows that I saw a four letter word
Starting point is 01:47:26 and went, So he's like, George came to the FBI, told them everything he knew. Like, come on. None of this would be possible without him. He made fun of the prosecution's argument that George should have contacted the FBI sooner.
Starting point is 01:47:44 Carl was like, what difference would that have made? Yeah. Nothing happened. Yeah. In their closing argument, the prosecution pushed hard for the death penalty. This was all about sending a message to our enemies. We had to let them know that we weren't softies we had to show them we were rock hard and please don't buy any of their sob stories the freaking nazis didn't send over eight morons who had no intention of going through with this at all that by the way is a quote yeah they just got here and they were afraid they'd get caught. That's why they came forward. The tribunal deliberated for two days. They found the men guilty. Guilty, of course.
Starting point is 01:48:34 And sentenced all of them to death. Of course they did. After that verdict, President Roosevelt met with the prosecutors and they agreed that George and Ernest shouldn't get the death penalty. George was given 30 years and Ernest shouldn't get the death penalty. George was given 30 years and Ernest got life in prison. Goodness gracious. What are your thoughts?
Starting point is 01:48:53 That that's ridiculous because it wouldn't have been possible had they not come forward. Who knows what would have happened? Yeah, I mean, what's amazing to me hearing that list is like, my God, if they'd done even one of
Starting point is 01:49:07 those things that would have been terrible yeah I I don't know whether I should say this but part of me feels like George should have gotten like the key to the city yes I mean, my God! That's the gratitude from happening! Yeah. Yeah. Instead, he gets 30 years in prison.
Starting point is 01:49:35 Wow. So, their reasoning was, George and Ernest did help the FBI, and maybe if they went easy on those guys, then other saboteurs might do the same thing. I mean, I fucking doubt it. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 01:49:54 On August 8th, the six men went to the electric chair. Sounds really gross. So there was only one electric chair and it took about 15 minutes. Yeah. Cycling through. Yeah. I know, right? They were buried in unmarked graves, much like the victims of the Holocaust.
Starting point is 01:50:19 In 1948, when George and Ernest had served just six years of their sentences, President Harry Truman pardoned them. But it was not a full pardon. It was like a pardon with strings. This is a big deal. Hi, Boo. You guys, Boo is down here drinking water. Boo never comes down.
Starting point is 01:50:41 Boo does not reveal herself to company. She's a private dancer. I guess that's a gross thing to say about a cat. I was going to make a pussy joke, but... Too classy. Yeah. This podcast, we've done such a good job keeping it really classy. We keep it super classy. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:51:02 That's one thing that can be said about us. So George and Ernest were sent to what was then West Germany. The locals hated them. Right, yeah. I believe the story was that George and his wife, like... Did you not put it in your notes? I didn't put it in my notes. But the story was that George and his wife, like, they had a little business going.
Starting point is 01:51:26 Then, like, a local newspaper found out, told the story, and they, like, had to grab what they could and run out of town. Yeah, they would not be popular. Over the years, George petitioned the U.S. government for a full pardon. He wanted to come back to the United States because, obviously, everyone hated him over there. But every time, J. Edgar Hoover blocked his requests. Wow. Here's a crazy story. So those six Nazi spies were buried in unmarked graves.
Starting point is 01:52:00 Well, one day, a bunch of people who worked for the power company were walking through some brush in southwest Washington, D.C., when they saw something strange. It was a big slab of granite. They walked over to it, looked at it, and wouldn't you fucking know it it was a memorial for nazis what it read in memory of agents of the german obwer whatever executed i'm sorry what it's a b w e h r you tell me how to pronounce that i I don't know. I'm not even going to try. Executed August 8th, 1942. Then it listed all their stupid names. And then at the very end of this, you know, big rectangular piece of stone, it read, Donated by the NSWPP.
Starting point is 01:53:00 National Socialist White People's Party. Wow. Neat. Yeah. So the National Park Service was pretty stunned. Oh, yeah. Not impressed. They did some research, and based on that name,
Starting point is 01:53:16 they believed that that memorial had been there for decades. Wow. Like probably since maybe early 70s, maybe 60s. So in 2010, they took a forklift out to the site and took the Nazi memorial away. It's now sitting in a storage facility in Maryland. Wow. When asked, the National Park Service guy said, We certainly did not want to be hosting a site for midnight rituals on Hitler's birthday.
Starting point is 01:53:43 want to be hosting a site for midnight rituals on Hitler's birthday. And that's the story of the Nazi saboteurs. Wow. 420. Yeah, I know. Hitler's birthday. Yeah. Gross.
Starting point is 01:53:56 That story was crazy. It's, you know, it's one of those things. It's uplifting in that the only people who were harmed were Nazis. That's great in my book. But the way, the way the U S government handled that was so shitty. Oh yeah. So shitty.
Starting point is 01:54:21 Very interesting. Had never heard of it. Yeah. I hadn't either. I don't don't i mean i'm glad that they weren't the two weren't executed because i really believe that they stopped something from happening yeah absolutely all right missy you got shown no we don't have time for fucking show notes kristen it's fucking let's go to court after we told 87 stories during this episode. I think it must be three hours long by this point.
Starting point is 01:54:51 It's almost tomorrow. I've got to go to bed. Wow. Thank you for tuning in, folks. You know what to do. Find us on social media. We're on Instagram. We're on Twitter.
Starting point is 01:54:59 We're on Reddit. We're on Facebook. We're on YouTube. Then head over to iTunes. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I forgot to do one thing. I're on Facebook. We're on YouTube. Then head over to iTunes. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I forgot to do one thing. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 01:55:09 Do it. Okay. It's, you know, that statement that George made that was 254 pages long. You shut your fucking face! I just want to read it real quick, Brandy. You asshole! You asshole! Don't worry.
Starting point is 01:55:22 It's single-spaced. We're going to be fine. Yeah. We'll be done next Thursday. Anyway. Hey, if you liked Let's Go to Court After Dark, head on over to our iTunes. Leave us a rating. Leave us a review.
Starting point is 01:55:36 And then, you know, join us next week when we'll be experts on two whole new topics. Podcast adjourned. And now for a note about our process. I read a bunch of stuff, then regurgitate it all back up in my very limited vocabulary. And I copy and paste from the best sources on the web, and sometimes Wikipedia.
Starting point is 01:55:56 So we owe a huge thank you to the real experts. For this episode, I got my info from the Nazi Saboteurs Trial by Douglas O. Linder for FamousTrials.com, the inside story of how a Nazi plot to sabotage the U.S. war effort was foiled by David A. Taylor for Smithsonian.com, and an article from the Washington Post. And I got my info from an article by David Kradicek for the Crime Library, as well as articles for the L.A. Times and the Miami Herald. For a full list of our sources, visit lgtcpodcast.com.
Starting point is 01:56:28 Any errors are of course ours, but please don't take our word for it. Go read their stuff.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.