Lifeline - 101. Worse & Dumber
Episode Date: March 17, 2024🧴 For 30% off your first skin care system and a FREE GIFT, go to tiege.com/lifeline ✨ LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5.... 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we talk about what to do after you've fallen for a friend and it didn't work out, what to do when you're the trauma dumpee, if there should be punishment for people who cause car accidents (???), how to speak to groups of people, and how to be friends with exes and make it known to your current. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey guys, here we are,eline episode 101 and today's episode is brought to you by tige hanley
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It's doing very well and it's very good.
And otherwise, I want to see Godzilla minus one.
Did you see it?
No, but it sounds like you just made something up
when you said that.
Godzilla minus one?
The way it came out of your mouth
was like it's not a thing that exists
and you just made it up as it came out.
It's something that exists.
It also sounds like something that someone just made up on the fly godzilla minus one
look this is nothing against the movie i've only heard amazing things about the movie people i
really trust have told me the movie's amazing but godzilla minus one that's what does minus one mean
it's math and godzilla isn't math is all i'm saying well it is if you have one godzilla and
then you subtract one godzilla but it's not the kind of title that's confusing that makes you go
oh that i wonder what they mean it's like what not a good title it's like mixing ideas almost
a good title okay godzilla squared is what it should be godzilla minus a good title guy godzilla
to the nth degree um just godzilla with the check thing
over it you know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um what's the check thing that means to square root
it right no isn't the square root just the actual two or divide it what's it hey uh pull up a square
root thing no it is it is i'm not doubting you i want to see it because i forget everything about
everything from school poetry um yeah dude this is lifeline it's there we go that's what it's
called a radical symbol yeah it's radical dude dude does we go like this you square root you
get the right answer you go no way dude um so so uh a sheep it's a badass sheep dude a sheep on a surfboard a sick ass sheep all right
so anyway um it is going to be episode 101 and it is crazy it is episode 101 and having dr drew
uh on the last one was very cool we did it special you know we don't normally have guests
we've been actually thinking it went very well we've been thinking about having guests now but not every time um you're right now what you're going through
every single thing like you're in an extreme hurry oh are you in a hurry i think i'm just i think i'm
just i'm a good podcaster you know on so much coke you know on just so much just take the magic mind
is that why yeah watch this can't believe't believe. Oh, that was pretty cool.
Pretty cool, right?
That was pretty cool.
So, Tarded.
Acting so much like Tom Arnold, dude.
How much is Chris acting like Tom Arnold right now?
Mako just goes, wow.
All right, so.
Wow.
So, listen.
It is what it is, my babies, and we we're doing it right we've said nothing so far this
podcast yeah but you've said a lot dude you're saying so many words you're going really fast
you know what it is i like the energy but it's like you're making me a little nervous i'm loopy
why are you loopy uh i got a lot of sleep last night and then i woke up and yes
marv albert i worked chest and my back.
Yes, together.
Didn't ask you that.
Why are you saying yes in the middle of describing what you're doing?
And then I came home and ate, right?
So boring.
And then I did congratulations.
But why are you loopy?
Because I did a podcast already.
Yeah, I get it.
I get it. Dude, sometimes we don't do this a lot on the show actually we don't really ever do this but sometimes
when you have to like bang out several episodes the very first time you think oh yeah i could do
three or four three or four in a day and then on the third one you're just like i can't what do
this what have i talked about already everything that i have ever known and i don't need to say
and i don't know what else to say now oh you mean already on
well yeah no it's like you mean by the third time yeah totally like i've already spoken
all of the words i need to today yeah um yeah but anyway yeah i don't like doing more than
one podcast in a day alas thank god we're doing ours second i've done it the other way and it is
a lot harder and why is that because then it's just
with us talking we talk about all this stuff it's fun and then if i just got to do a podcast solo
i i've it's like dude when i had talked for so long my solo podcast i
franken ninken dreaded it i hated it dude really even though it was so good even though i'd bang
a ring it out and people
will go they breathe all over everyone and then no that was the crowd they go and they all clap
even despite that okay which i appreciated everyone in the world doing i hated doing it
because you look at the clock and you're only 19 minutes in and you're just you want to cry
you know i'm talking about you're only 19 minutes into an hour show and you want to cry think about this the people listening you guys you don't want it to end
that's why isn't that the craziest well what's weird too is i can totally relate to that as a
fan of other podcasts that's what i'm saying yeah it's true oh man there's like 20 minutes left and
he's being funny i've never even thought about it that way one time yeah yeah people are like i'm
like dude maybe i just won't do it anymore.
And people are like, please don't.
Please do it.
Yeah.
And I'm like, all right.
The people want it.
You need it.
The people want it.
But you glossed over my wanting to see Godzilla minus one thing.
And it's kind of.
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
I didn't realize it was so important.
Well, I just want to see it.
And I haven't seen it yet.
And I'm pissed off.
Okay.
Because it's one of those.
You can alleviate.
You can remedy that. It's one of those... You can alleviate, you can remedy that.
One of those movies,
it's one of those movies
that you have to see
in the theater
because it's not streaming yet
and that pisses me off.
And by the way,
there's other movies
that you can't see
on streaming services.
I know, I hate it.
That's crazy.
Dude, I hate it.
Sometimes they're big movies too.
I wanted to watch Oldboy
and...
That's not on streaming?
Until about a month ago.
What? Yeah. The original. Yeah, yeah, the original. As a matter of too. I wanted to watch Oldboy. That's not on streaming? Until about a month ago. What?
Yeah.
The original.
Yeah, yeah, the original.
As a matter of fact, I wanted to see the original a year ago.
I couldn't, so I had to watch the Josh Brolin one.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
No comparison, man.
Really no comparison.
But then I wanted to see, remember that movie Kids that came out?
Kids in the 90s? Yeah.
Of course.
Crazy cultural phenomenon.
Yeah, they made a documentary about it.
I know.
That's what made me want to see the movie again.
You saw The Doc?
No, I know about The Doc.
Yeah, okay.
I want to see The Doc.
You can't get the movie or The Doc anywhere.
The main kid in that is from the town we grew up in in New Jersey.
You're kidding me.
The kid that plays Telly.
Montclair?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Telly.
Wait, the main kid?
The main kid, dude.
Not Casper. Not Casper, okay. Not the one at the main kid dude not casper not casper not the
one at the end who's like what the fuck just happened but uh ruined it forever not the one
at the very end uh imagine that ruined it someone saying what the fuck just happened oh great well
i won't watch it that's a great ending no it's a crazy ending yeah but i i think i remember that
movie movies can't really be like that anymore, huh?
Like kids?
Not really.
They can't be phenomenons if they're like that.
They can come out and have a little niche audience and be celebrated by 12 people.
But they can't really like make millions and millions, millions and millions and millions of dollars.
That's weird.
Yeah.
I mean, everything's just so fragmented and niche now.
That's what's up.
Unless it's like a Marvel movie, you know?
Tonight I'm in Shreveport.
No, wait. Oh, sorry. I already did know? Tonight I'm in Shreveport. No, wait.
Oh, sorry.
I already did it.
I did it in Shreveport already. I mean, came back from the future.
No, I'm saying-
What are you talking about?
I thought this was going to come out.
Oh, dude.
You actually were tripping me out for a little while.
My birthday show's in Durham.
What a way to celebrate.
North Carolina, though.
Okay. Do you want to talk about that now? I guess well i want to talk about brazil minus one but my birthday show is in durham north
carolina oh i'm going to be in san diego too i guess uh the march 23rd i do in a little spot
there uh that's my website good day i know and then my birthday durham north carolina norfolk
virginia grand rapids fort myers saginaw colonnaowna, Victoria, BC, Augusta, Georgia, North
Charleston, St. Petersburg, Jesus Chattanooga, Charleston, Des Moines, Green Bay, crystalia.com.
I'm going to be doing shows all over there. Go get your thing. Godzilla minus one, go to the thing.
I don't understand why Godzilla minus one. What's up with they so have you seen Godzilla movies before
ever yeah yeah I've seen some how many have you seen um like are you including the terrible new
ones like the one with uh Matthew Broderick and stuff yes of course I am then probably
why wouldn't I come because when people say the Godzilla movies I think like the Godzilla movies
that came from Japan yeah I've never seen those okay I've only seen the dope Matthew Broderick I've seen five maybe four or
five total yeah I've seen all the new ones and none of the old ones wait there's two new ones
there's Godzilla minus one and then there's the one that Dan's in well that's coming out but that's
not out yet I don't think I don't believe uh no like next week or something yeah Dan Stevens is
in it I follow him on Instagram he doesn't follow me but dan's the man yeah yeah he follows you doesn't
follow me but so jealous no it's fun you know um but i want to watch uh that one i saw the one
uh with all i saw all of them except for the ones in black and white why would you ever watch one
in black and white right because those are the og ones and they're bad i don't like them honestly but movies get after a certain
time they're just going to be bad you mean before a certain time well no yeah that that is another
way to look at it but what i'm saying is you make a movie it's good after a certain time it's going
to be after a certain there's like an expiration yeah it's just it's like you know you know that's
that i don't fully agree but I totally know what you mean.
I was talking to somebody, somebody,
and we were talking about what movie to watch,
and they read the synopsis, and I was like,
that sounds cool.
And then the person was like, oh, wait, 1942.
Yeah, right.
And then I was like, oh.
Yeah.
And they were like, yeah, you can't,
no movie from 1942 is good. There you go. And it is true that, like, oh. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, you can't really, no movie from 1942 is good.
There you go.
And it is true that like the good movies
from that long ago get less and less and less and less.
Yeah, just to the time of it.
Yeah, there's a lot of things going into it.
Godzilla Minus One is meant to represent
the effect on his attack on Japan.
The country was already at zero
and in the initial stages of a complete rebuild
and the title's equation
of Godzilla minus one
is an American way
to represent that the country
couldn't sink to any order.
I'm so confused.
Yep, same.
Don't know what any of that means.
That was basically written in Japanese.
That's entirely...
I was going to say,
you know what?
Here's a...
Completely.
Okay, cool.
That would have sounded cooler though.
All right, cool.
Yeah, it's gibberish.
It's complete gibberish.
Yeah.
Anyway, I want to watch it all right man okay do you know what i mean do you do you like we know you want to watch it is it boring if i say that no it's not boring it's just
you've said it seven times has this podcast been boring yet no i i don't think so so insecure okay
oh you're trying to prove a point that hasn't been born no i'm not trying to prove a point i'm insecure this is what i don't like the thing i wanted to say
earlier you said something i said that blew my mind okay and i thought of something i really
don't like when people do when they go like this instead of saying that blows my mind yeah they
said they go like this that is the worst you know who does it all the time it was so bad that our
producer groaned you know who does all the time the time? Bryan Cranston. Oh, my God.
I guarantee Bryan Cranston does it all the time.
For sure.
Yeah.
Also, Bryan Cranston never, ever, ever, ever said no when his publicist or manager said,
do you want to go to So-and-so party?
Why do you say that, dude?
You know it's true.
I love Bryan Cranston.
It's nothing against him.
I know, I know.
I do love him.
I just get the sense he likes to be at parties.
God, he's such a good fucking actor.
Yeah.
He likes to be at parties.
Okay?
Okay. All right, let's start. All right. God, he's such a good fucking actor. Yeah. He likes to be at parties. Okay? Okay.
All right, let's start.
All right.
Hey, guys.
If you don't remember, I'm the kid with the friend who felt the need to insult the other
guys in the room.
Yeah, I like this.
Yeah.
We like you.
Now.
Don't change that.
I have a different question about the same guy.
Oh, cool.
To start, me and this guy used to be roommates.
We're not anymore.
He had to move back to his parents' house due to some things that happened.
But one of the things I hated about him as a roommate, she was very messy.
He wouldn't pick up after himself.
He would take dishes in his room and leave them in there for weeks.
And I would wonder where they went.
He would shave over the sink and leave his hair everywhere.
Really messy.
That's disgusting if you use the same sink.
But one day I had this girl over
and we're hanging out in my room we're chilling and he comes over and he's asking her all these
questions he's like can i get you anything to drink was he a waiter do you need anything to
eat he's the maitre d of the house i'm like whoa bro so usually you can't even right rinse out your
bowl after eating your cereal that's weird but
now you're turning into this girl's personal butler right seems a little weird so i just
want to know am i overthinking it was he just being nice or was he putting on an act to impress
this girl that was there for me it doesn't even matter let me know also you guys said i was
flirting with you i just want to let you know that's crazy and i would never do that dude hold on that's that's funny but that
that's that's no it's funny how he did that oh yeah i agree it was good so much so much and you
know we all know when it comes to humor that you know what's up no but i mean like i could i could
be really funny if i wanted yeah for sure i agree so um no that is uh that is you go that is not that's that's not cool that's definitely not cool but
you know what he is he's an op the other guy's an op he's not that and the opposition he's an op
he's a hater dude you're you know what you're already weird around like last time when we
we brought in the video you're already weird around, like last time when we brought in the video. You're already weird around the fritz.
My friends don't want you around.
It's like when women get around, you go on, the guy goes on the fritz.
Yeah.
Now you come around.
Not only are you asking her if she needs shit, she's my guest.
You're making me look bad.
Now it's like, I'm not doing what you're doing.
You're an op.
Is that something or are you making that up?
It's something.
Oh, I've never heard that.
But dude, David Sullivan did this once with my wife. you're an op is that something are you making that up oh i've never but dude david sullivan
did this once with my wife my wife was like oh you're you're uh we went to this place that we
always go to get it well we haven't been in years but we used to go to the diner she's like what
do you uh we're gonna get dessert i said yeah dude i'm gonna get the brownie sundae but i don't
get the brownie sundae i get the brownie and then i get the ice cream on the side no hot sauce and i just i like
to get the ice cream and the brownie together because i could take some of the ice cream
and some of the brownie as much as the ice cream as i want as much as brownie i want in one bite
and then have it like that you understand what i'm saying yes i do you do okay i do yes dude
so kristin was always like you know what i like about you is you take charge you do things
sometimes like i like when you order for me i like about you is you take charge you do things sometimes like i
like when you order for me i like when you this and that she said those kinds of things okay
so dude i date i'm with david sullivan and her and a bunch of other people and the waiter comes
along says we want for dessert i say this is what i want i tell him the thing i want he knows the
waiter i always get it like that and he says okay i said and you know what you should get it too babe
and she says oh really and i say yeah it's really good and he says i said so get one for her
and she says yeah i'll have one and the waiter says and you want it the way he has it i said
oh yeah get her get her the way i have it and david says well hold on man let her get it the
way she wants to oh i'm pissed and she goes yeah you know what I'll get hot sauce
and I say oh
you fucked it all up
hey hey hey
hey congratulations
this is not what doesn't nothing to do with me
hey don't even ask me that's extra bad
so he's an op
and basically David Sullivan is your roommate
because that's op behavior
is your roommate David Sullivan but that's op behavior. Is your roommate David Sullivan.
But that's op behavior.
But I'm a little actually like confused, not by what the guy said.
If you say you're confused by op, I'm going to get pissed off.
No, I'm not confused by that at all.
Okay.
So relax.
I'm not pissed off.
But what is, this guy sounds so weird.
He's a weird guy.
Like such a messy slob.
And then someone else, his roommate invites a girl over. And then he's suddenly like fucking like such a messy slob and then someone else his roommate invites a girl over and
then he's suddenly like fucking mr belvedere you know what he was he was in a good mood
fuck that guy you know what i mean where your mood dictates supremely how you're like you know
what i'm saying like i'm feeling good you know what i'm gonna be nice to the woman i'm a nice
guy you're not a nice guy dude you're dictated you're dictating to your feelings
and you're an op he's not that's what you're really pushing the op thing working on merch
testing out merch but it's just like it's like you know that's horse shit dude and that guy
here's the thing too you're gonna have a roommate if you have someone that's your roommate
they're not gonna be your friend anymore in the near future yes i said it even if you were friends before you can't
you're so you're saying being someone's roommate means you're not gonna be friends yeah it's like
having sex with a girl that is your friend and and you date her and then you can't go back
i have had not that experience myself you're not i know me too i can do it yeah yeah but we're higher highly evolved oh really yeah i don't
know man no we're not i don't think that yeah i'm dumb i'm dumb i get dumber dude i talked
about this i get fucking dumber dude dumber just in general or like it's just too much
shit going on i don't know about it you mean dumber in terms of the goings on in the world i used to know stuff now i don't
are you worse at shit or better at shit now that you're getting older
better at very few things so you're worse so you're getting dumber yeah that's worse and
dumber yeah worse and dumber the worth the shittiest combo as i age i get worse and dumber yeah that's worse and dumber yeah worse and dumber the worth the shittiest combo as i age i
get worse and dumber have you met my friend chris i think i met him like eight years ago oh he's
worse and dumber now eight years oh my god he's way worse and way dumber yeah he's way worse but
one of the thing is one of the things is too he's dumber um all right next one this is an unfortunate
friend yeah but you're not his roommate anymore no thank, thank God. Thank God. And he's an op. So now you know.
Label your friends that aren't your friends anymore your ops.
One last thing.
Shaving your beard into a sink, whether you share it with someone or not, and not cleaning
up after yourself, you are a fucking heathen.
You are a disgusting heathen. You are a disgusting heathen.
We're the disagree police.
You disagree with that?
The disagree police came by and shot you.
Dude, that is disgusting.
You're disgusting.
Yeah, no.
What?
How could you possibly stop?
You know, the biggest dork in the world.
The absolute biggest dork in the world.
That's actually kind of cool.
We're the disagree police.
What do you have to say about beards?
I won't say it again.
No, but how could you possibly disagree with that?
Answer instead of doing that.
Fucking getting germs all over my drink, you know?
Calling for backup. Dis wow dude who's disagreeing putting your fingers in where my mouth goes dude disgusting man
what a pig dude you got a guy disagreeing over here oh really all of your fingers
dude fucking pig dude get out of here the guy in the orange uh what's he saying he's saying
it's disgusting to not even if you don't live even if you live alone yeah seriously oh oh my
god that's crazy oh no the biggest the biggest dork in the world, the biggest pig in the world.
Defend your position about shaving in the sink and not cleaning it up.
Oh my God, dude.
Actually, it's already fucked up anyway.
Sound effects, you know?
Switch, switch, switch.
Who's disagreeing?
No, no, no, no, no.
Do not.
Poison.
Do not touch me.
Poison, you know?
Wow, imagine listening. Imagine how terrible it is to listen to listen to this on me you gotta watch that if you have any but wait how about how about how he
jumped off and the and you thought the airplane was gonna be and it caught him i didn't care about
that at all i didn't care about it so what i'm saying is it's not it's wait hold on you know
the best part about that is
there's some people that are listening or watching this podcast that are going to think that that
is so funny yeah that they're crying yeah and then there are going to be so many other people
that are thinking what i thought this is fucking so stupid i hate chris well i think it'll be more
this is so stupid and it's funny because it's so
stupid all right thank you but um anyway but there will be people who are like i hate this i don't
think people watch the show they hate that that is true you know yeah all right so also go get me a
fucking new perrier you really care about that i wouldn't care i don't care i'm awesome dude
so uh i'm awesome so hold on so you think it's gross to leave the hair there?
It's just hair.
I don't like when people treat hair and nails like snot, piss, and cum.
Okay.
Well, first of all.
Then, then, then.
Hair and nails are dead.
Hi, I'm Chris D'Elia.
Dead parts of other people's bodies.
I'm Chris D'Elia.
Dead parts of other people's bodies.
That's gross.
It's not really, though, dude. It's not snot. It's all it is not people but i'm not wait hold on that you're conflating snot
piss and cum i didn't say it was snot piss and cum you know what i'm talking about we'll let
him go okay you're adding that i'm such a dweeb dude robin williams
all right so what were you saying i no one compared it to you compared i know i know but i'm saying that's what you're acting like hair if somebody left their snot pissing cum
in the sink like my roommate i would instantly move out so it's not at that level i'm just saying
it's disgusting an absolute idiot what you just did dude in the corner of my ear
i just heard him go uh we're fucking having a great time but here's the deal it's so okay
all right so hold on if someone left snot in your sink you'd move out no it's not piss and cum i said which is what you said yeah my point is
will will you clip your toenails in bed that's your point that is the strangest point as a
rebuttal uh will i do that honor would you clip your toenails in bed i rest my case will i do that
like yeah yes i would do that there you There you go. But what is the,
what is that answer?
It's not that disgusting,
but I would not let my toenails go in the sink or in the bed that I share with someone else.
Right.
If it's your own bed,
do whatever you want.
I don't care.
I'm not in it.
But if it's a bed you share with me,
I don't want your toenail clippings.
I don't want your fucking any kind of hair in there.
Yeah.
Hair on your head.
Who cares?
I don't care about that.
Dude, I did a girl who, i did a girl who was like she couldn't be around hair from someone's head oh that fell out what which happens all the time even people who're not
having yeah i know yeah you lose hair all the time exactly and she would be like
so um no that's that's really stupid she's got she has to figure that out what we broke up well
she would have to figure it out we broke up i'm just saying for the next person i don't know um yeah
what even one are we on this the guy with the beard hair trim the first one oh wow all right
let's go to the next one you're a disagree police absolute psycho yeah go to the next one all right
cool we may disagree about the beard in the sink but there's one thing we don't disagree about
and that's men's skincare and that's why we are excited to have tige henley as a sponsor of today's
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i've got a bit of an issue um deeply and frankly embarrassingly in love with one of my best friends oh that's tough little backstory
last year new year's eve i had this epiphany moment where i realized that i am in fact in
love with her oh my god told her oh my blah things happen we didn't talk for a year. So cinematic. Fast forward to now, 2024.
We're back talking.
Okay.
Everything's back to normal-ish.
But last night, when saw her, we hung out, had a good time.
I beat her ass in the pool.
You know.
But when I got home, I immediately felt depressed.
Ah.
Wow.
So my question for you guys is, what the fuck do I do felt depressed. Ah, wow. So my question for you guys is,
what the fuck do I do?
Wow.
I feel like an idiot.
Wow.
Thanks.
Dude, imagine New Year's Eve.
Just five, four.
He's like, three, two.
Catch his eyes with her and just one.
Just streamers. just all acquaintance.
Three for God.
That was the loudest thing that's ever happened.
That was so, my ears are fucked.
I know, but.
Is that why you said so cinematic
what
is that why you said
so cinematic
yeah
oh yeah okay
and just tears
and she's
kissing someone else
yeah
hey hey
yeah
a little bit
yeah just a popper
and everyone's just
yeah yeah he's grabbing me he's like
damn that's crazy though to fall in love with your best friend at a moment like that
to realize it in that moment but i wonder why they didn't talk for a whole year just because
it was awkward you think yeah he said he liked but then they can't they hung out
yeah because she probably wants to think oh he's over it you can be friends i don't know
that's a tough yeah or or she was like, well, I really miss him.
Maybe I do love him.
Maybe.
That's weird.
It could be that too.
Dude, I think if I'm him and I get depressed after that, I would think the reason I'm depressed
is because I'm so confused right now.
Sometimes that deep of a confusion can make me depressed because you just don't know which
way to turn.
You don't know.
When you don't know how you even feel about something that you have historically felt extremely strongly about then things start to change either on your
end or someone else's end and that causes you to reflect on it dude that can really deeply like
rock my world in a bad way but i don't know he didn't say why he was depressed though either
it's a whole year later though but he might not even know why he's depressed i mean he's probably
the case it's probably a little bit to do with the fact that he still he still really likes her
and wants to but you but you would think that i mean maybe it just comes down to like he's got to
be like his version of like i don't know if we actually can be friends like i the way i feel
about you yeah i will because i would think if you're if you're him most people would think well great i either have to tell her fuck this up again or not tell her
shut up about it and just deal with it most people wouldn't think the second time around
that it's going to be work out any differently oh i'm going to tell her she's going to love me
but here's the thing you'd be nervous about the other thing so that's probably why he's depressed but put your head in hers for a second right okay why what the heck
why where's my penis why would
if you if a girl you were friends with a woman you're friends with says that she loves you and
you are like not feeling it back it gets
awkward you don't talk for a year yeah okay what on earth a year later would make you feel
comfortable hanging out with her nothing exactly but exactly you're not taking into account chicks
men wouldn't do that chicks are like okay then why would a woman do what's the difference because
they think things have changed because they have a woman brain but women don't fall out of love quicker than men do what no i know but women will be like oh they'll
buy into the fact that it's not that all the time they'll buy into the fact of the just friendship
all the time they do that all the time because men almost never just want to be friends with you it's not not always but most of the time a guy is just
lurking ready this guy wasn't no i don't mean that even he's not a bad guy well of course no
yeah i'm just saying i'm saying a man my brain in a woman's body would still think the way a man
thinks but an actual woman who's lived as a woman, most women are like.
So I guess my question, though, was what do you think she thought?
Not.
When?
When she was reconnecting with him.
Maybe we could just be friends again.
I really miss him as a friend.
And, you know, I let it.
I told him I didn't want to be.
But what if she's not doing that?
And what if she's like exploring the possibility that she might be in love with him too?
Well, if that's the case, you'd want to find that out as soon as possible.
Exactly.
So I think you got to say something.
Because I don't think it's going to work for you.
Yeah, it's not.
To the dude in the video if you aren't still upfront about it.
Like you can say you miss her because you probably do.
But like, look, I don't know if we can still just be friends like we were before.
I still have feelings for you.
You know,
and,
and,
and then if that's the case and she isn't into you like that,
then it can go away and you can,
you can get,
get her out of your head.
It might take a while,
but,
but you know,
it's,
it's also,
I,
my,
I would,
I would probably say it's going to be easier the second time around because
you've done it already um but yeah you're not an idiot i mean he's like am i an idiot you're not
an idiot oh god no not at all it's normal shit it's normal shit yeah and also deep down if you
still like her you want to be with her so you're going to be drawn to her and and maybe you know
often you have friends you're in the same friend group you see or still see her sometimes you know
what i mean you don't know yeah it's tough man it's really tough whenever two people are friends and one falls
in love with the other or even when they both fall it's tricky man that's why my one cardinal rule
never ever be friends with anyone okay next video that's a tough rule all right
hey guys i'm theresa i have a quick social skills question hi theresa a little
background my whole life i've always played like the therapist friend role um just kind of someone
that people have always overshared to and i know that humans especially now are super comfortable
with everyone in the whole wide world knowing their business. But this has been like a long standing theme in my life.
And it's funny because now I'm actually a therapist.
I work with children with pretty severe trauma and they are some of the coolest kids.
Wow, that's got to be intense.
But it's not the children I have an issue with.
It's the adults.
I bet it is.
People that used to know me that maybe at one point when i was younger overshared with me
i think they like misremember our relationship our dynamic and they'll hit me up and say like hey
uh i have something crazy to tell you and in my head i'm like no you fucking don't the last time
we talked was 15 years ago and it was in a hallway full of lockers like you have nothing to tell me
we both know that but they persist and they tell me
the most intimate details of their lives and it happens all the time what just happening like just
this past weekend it happened and i don't have anything clever to like respond with when these
old acquaintances like message me on social media and start spilling their intimate details. So if you have anything clever
or anything funny to respond with,
I'm here for it.
Is she saying that because she's a therapist
or just because she's always been that person?
I think it's the latter,
but I would imagine the former
only emboldens them further to do this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Her sweater says therapy, you know?
I think, honestly, if that happened, you know, I think honestly,
if that happened to me enough,
I just wouldn't respond at all.
Yeah.
Same.
Yeah.
And I don't think it's even good to respond if you don't have something worth in your
mind,
worthy of,
like,
if you think,
Oh,
I don't have anything good to say.
I don't have anything interesting or clever or helpful to say.
good to say i don't have anything interesting or clever or helpful to say it's better to not respond at all than it is to to say something funny or whatever like that you feel like
there's some pressure on you there's no pressure like to say nothing but also you're a therapist
and that's your job so it's like asking you to be funny on the spot yeah but even worse because
it's medical advice right in a way i'm just saying it's like asking somebody to do their job for them now yeah yeah be like i'm not on the clock
but no but but you you you i wouldn't i don't yeah there's i don't know it's kind of fucked
up if somebody you kind of know is asking you for like therapy advice when you're a therapist
if you really know them then okay of course
yeah again these are people from back in the day from people she doesn't she said something
in some cases 15 years that's crazy but that person's a crazy person it'd be like yo i
diagnose you as a crazy person i know i'm a that would be good actually i mean that's yeah
15 years ago maybe you should say actually maybe a really good thing to say would be good, actually. I mean, that's, yeah. 15 years ago? Maybe you should say, actually.
Maybe a really good thing to say would be,
yeah, I think you need therapy.
Book a session with me or someone that is convenient
to book a session with,
but I'm not going to do some armchair DM therapy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even if I was going to take you on as a client,
I would not respond now with some kind of advice.
That would be what's called shitty therapy. I'm good at dm therapy yeah you know that's not something
like if you want to make an appointment with somebody and get actual therapy get therapized
i would really like i would look i would really like to help you but the disagree police are
are on my case already and so i don't want the disagree police to get pissed off right what if she said that that would be sure to make them never write to you again so there's that there's definitely i
don't want to piss off the disagree police sorry send the person other person reading it being like
what is that a typo the disagree please please yeah all right just write nothing yeah you're
better off saves time as well yeah yeah write nothing for You're better off. Saves time as well. Yeah, write nothing for sure.
Hello, Lifeline.
Flipping the script, I'm giving advice to you guys.
Matt said that he had never found jeans that he liked to wear.
I was the same way for a long, long time.
Here we go.
Until I found Target brand jeans.
What is it?
Goodfella is the brand name. I know you guys are probably going to be like, oh, no, Target.
Can't do Target.
That's not fancy because you guys
are kind of fancy in your brands.
But highly recommend
Target brand
joggers, jeans, the jeans specifically.
Super soft,
stretchy, fantastic.
Hope this
helps. Big fans.
Google these jeans.
Oh, look at these. I mean mean they're just jeans you know i mean
sure i'm just saying i didn't expect them to look like this oh wait what are they called good what
men's jogger you know good fellow oh he wanted to be italian dude he only wanted to be a fuck
hey breaking your balls here all my life i'm wearing good fellow jeans
right now anthony you are you are yeah how are they our producer they're they're comfy dude
wow i wouldn't say i actually have a like i i had a few pairs of g-star jeans they're not as
comfortable as those wow g-star is more comfortable oh yeah for sure i'm wearing g-star right now
what yep go figure what's going on dude it's crazy it's crazy world we live in it really is such a crazy world so good fellow
jeans yeah they look fine they look pretty fucking regular honestly they look like regular
those are not fucking whatever i'm gonna be honest those are not stylish jeans they're just like
i like the light i like the light colors are fine yeah yeah oh yeah you agree the lighter ones yeah
i dude no listen you still have a misconception about why i don't wear jeans no i know you don't
not like the way they look yeah okay yeah yeah i know that yeah i don't like the way dark jeans
look though oh that is true but like dark blue jeans yeah light jeans are fucking cool what about
black jeans it depends but i think almost all light jeans as long as they fit right they look good i like i
like them yeah better yeah dark jeans are they're fine depending on the cut the dark blue yeah dark
blue's tough dude i think they always look bad i think mostly they look bad yeah right okay but
they're tougher but depending on the cut is what. Right, okay. But they're tougher.
But depending on the cut is what I'm saying.
Tougher material?
No, they're tougher to pull off.
Yeah.
Depending on the cut.
Why are you getting so impatient with me?
Because at least confirm that you've received me saying depending on the cut.
That's not how conversations work.
I'm sorry.
That's not how this goes.
I used to always fucking say,
I don't have to respond to that.
Yeah, he's right.
In a world where I live in.
How do you get by in the world
when people don't acknowledge
every last little thing you say?
That is not how conversations work.
That is not how they've ever worked.
That is not how you've ever experienced a conversation
because you're in the world and people in the world don't do conversations like that so they do
they do who does that me they do who else besides you does that them when i'm there your hair's like
a 9.6 are you serious yeah yeah english so fucking english are you serious 9.6 dude i was just
thinking about my hair that's good when you were, I was just thinking about my hair. That's good.
When you were talking, I was just thinking about my hair.
Yeah, no shit you were because you're you.
And?
Because I was talking.
Somebody else was talking and you were thinking about yourself.
And guess what, dude?
My hair today when I woke up to about four was so bad.
It was a 2.7. Come on. It was a 2.7.
Come on.
It was a three.
How is that even possible?
Well, okay, if you take it into account,
guys who actually have terrible hair,
like bald guys and guys who have some hair.
So a full head of hair guys.
I was a 2.7 or a three.
Do bald guys count as guys with hair?
They're in the mix?
That's what I'm saying.
No.
That's what I'm saying.
So what I'm saying is when they're in the conversation and i'm in the conversation they confirm what i'm saying all the
time because i'll make sure of it i'll be like right you know what i'm saying hey but what do
you think of that what you're a conversation terrorist you are a conversational terrorist
and if they say no i go like this i open up but um yeah no i i don't know you know what the worst is
yeah you oh yeah that that is there's another worse than that yeah that is the and i do not
do that no you don't know why do people do that uh they're boring get off of me you know yeah
don't get on me when we're like what even is that god are you worried i'm not looking or something
i'm not paying attention.
And it's sometimes people like Dean Del Rey will do it. Like, and you're like, dude, stop moving me.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe that, maybe he's trying to start a fight.
Maybe.
You want some?
Oh, good impression.
So, uh, all right.
Well, what, what, what was the thing about?
I got totally derailed.
Isn't that about jeans the last guy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those jeans are fine jeans, I guess.
But, uh, dark jeans are tough to pull off. Dark jeans are not the thing the last guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those jeans are fine jeans, I guess, but dark jeans
are tough to pull off.
Dark jeans are not the thing.
Dad used to always do that, dude.
I'd be like, right?
He'd be like, what?
Yeah, there was nothing,
no reason to respond to that.
I was like, well,
I don't know if you heard me or not.
That's correct.
You are wrong.
Don't you want to give somebody
a confirmation that the,
like, okay,
like a little button
on the conversation?
Sometimes if it seems warranted,
sure, of course,
but you do it about things
that don't require acknowledgement.
Now, if I didn't say anything to that,
you would think you would have pissed me off.
I would have thought,
let's just do the next one.
I want to let you know that it's okay
and I'm not upset by going like this.
Oh.
Great.
I'm codependent.
That's what it is.
You don't care.
You know what it is?
It's that I'm codependent.
Yeah, it is probably.
Yeah, it is.
Fuck.
Glad we just figured that out okay next one
what's up man coming at you from chicago i had a question about car accidents um
accidents mostly on the highway so i drive a lot of interstate roads in chicago you guys deal with
in la do you think people should be punished have some kind of like social repercussion for
getting on accidents on highways?
Because, dude, I'm getting tired of being a half an hour later to wherever I'm going
because someone decided to get in a fender bender with 40,000 people behind them trying
to get home from work.
Kind of pissing me off.
Just want to see what you guys think.
I think people should honk at them endlessly until they get off the road or throw tomatoes
at them or I don't know. Just something. There's got to be a consequence. Let me know what you guys think? I think people should honk at them endlessly until they get off the road or throw tomatoes at them. I see.
I don't know.
Just something.
There's gotta be a consequence.
Let me know what you guys think.
Dude, the consequence is your car's fucked up.
The consequence is also the embarrassment of having all those people drive by and hating
you.
Yeah.
Because you know everyone hates you.
It's the legit karma is immediate.
Yeah.
It's the, ah, fuck, my car's fucked up.
Everyone's going to see me.
God, I just thought of something so funny. What else see me that's god i just thought of something so what else would the consequence be i just thought of something so
funny uh speaking of dad and cars hitting cars we were all in the same car for some reason this
never happens me you mom one of our girlfriends or maybe both you're talking about the story we
always talk about yeah yeah we've talked about in the show no but oh we we talk about it almost weekly uh why are you acting like because
you're acting like you know what i just thought about something that was like from the archives
on a show got it i understand for me i needed to know that all of these people are not with us all
the time i mean on it i understand and and we're gonna be he's gonna be telling you the story but
i'm gonna be here with him telling you the story he's not telling it to me so we're going to be, he's going to be telling you the story, but I'm going to be here with him telling you the story. He's not telling it to me.
Go ahead.
So we're all in the car together and we're crammed in, which we never do.
I'm kidding.
And like four of us are in the back seat.
This was.
And dad's driving.
And he's going in reverse, backing out of his own driveway.
Yeah.
And all of our cars are there because we drove to their house to pile into one car.
Yep.
And he's just going.
He's reversing real slow like any normal person would.
And then all of a sudden, we just go, dunk.
Yep.
And clearly, what happened was our car hit another one.
And immediately.
Clearly also, I know what car it is.
Yeah.
Everyone does because we know where your car is.
Yes.
Because it was the only car there and it was your car.
It was broad daylight.
And our dad just goes, like, maybe after two seconds, maybe less,
just goes, Chris, I hit your car.
Like, as if he had to tell us.
Dude, we all go.
And he's like this.
He's like this.
He's like, Chris, I hate your car.
Dude.
And dude, we just started laughing.
All of us.
All of us.
Mom, me, you.
I don't remember who's.
There was somebody's girlfriend was in there. It might have been forever.
It was a long time ago.
It could have been when I was married.
Yeah, exactly.
You think so?
Dude.
Yeah, dude.
That was.
That was so fucking funny, duderis hate your car and now we always say chris hate your car yeah yeah the the funniest
part in context was that you had i don't know if you even remember this you had just gotten your
car fixed i only know someone did that to you before i only know that because you always say
that after the story and and i would not have remembered that oh really yes dude that's so funny to me you had just got like somebody had hit you
in a parking lot a fucking you just got the car back the gmc envoy dude i i just i i rode that
car into oblivion dude it they didn't have side mirrors up by the end of it this was scraped up
wow i remember that car wow yeah when did you get rid of that car
when i got my uh like when i was 30 when i got my when i got that mercedes i got that mercedes
oh oh my god remember that man yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then um
yeah it goes mercedes rs7 rs7 and then uh and then it's and then now and then now you're driving the now the honda
now the new now cool man now well yeah car accidents are their own form of shame we don't
need to add to it everybody feels terrible when they get into one yeah everybody feels like a
fucking idiot they're on like public display for every not only that the embarrassment of being
like oh they got into a fender bender everyone driving by like i said hates them yeah i don't think about that so much
but that like if i get an accident or if somebody gets an accident and they're i don't get mad at
them no i don't know everyone like this motherfucker dude it happens all you know they do yeah but i
don't i might i don't i can't think of myself you know what dude one time i was on a
i was in seattle and i was on a uh what do you call it uh um what what are those things that
are different it's a trolley right you know that they're connected to the top and shit oh yeah and they're on the we're on the trolley and i think i was alone too because
uh i was with someone we were at a wedding and i was with my girlfriend was in the wedding you
know okay all right yeah god yeah so i was just like ding ding on a trolley like a fucking asshole
because only assholes go on a trolley well all moreover even if you're a non-asshole you become one because you got to hold on
ding ding ding ding ding we go ding ding and it's san francisco you're going up you're going down
yeah this is what happens okay we're in seattle right yeah and i go what the fuck it stops oh sorry it's seattle yeah oh they
never stopped they stopped geez ladies and gentlemen i have a uh actually accident you're
gonna get off the thing oh wow are you shitting me jesus so everyone just gets off i look dude
there's an asian dude but i know that's the tired joke is that the asian way he was in his car okay
bro i think he's already laughing bro i get out of the trolley the asian guys outside of his car
looking at the front dented like that
like dude like the trolley hit him dude you hit the trolley right one sometimes you gotta sell it
though you know i mean you gotta be like oh he was selling it like he was like he was yeah the rock
yeah yeah he was selling it like he was fucking hacksaw jim duggan he went up to the thing he
went he went to the thing he was
yeah no dude it was crazy
it was so I go like and I saw and I saw
I was like oh that sucks for him
the stereotype what
oh
yeah so anyway well
I can't believe that happened
yeah that's pretty weird yeah how do you
hit a trolley
they're so unhittable
they're going two miles an hour.
And they're huge.
They're only going in one line.
Yeah, exactly.
Not even in the road.
What's the guy doing?
The guy's just like, okay, it's crossing.
Okay, it's done crossing.
Oh, it wasn't done crossing.
Like dad.
Maybe he had a dad moment.
Yeah, yeah, he was a dad there
were other people sometimes i have real like significant brain farts while i'm driving and
like if asians get to the point where they have their hands twisted and and touching
yeah the side they're they're confused i don't know well maybe uh they're they're paying close
attention for sure that's what's yeah like they do that in maybe uh they're they're paying close attention for sure that's
what's yeah like they do that in windows when they're on vacation yeah exactly yeah like they've
never seen a fucking v-neck before yeah like they've never seen an ornament or being racist
anyway um yeah okay next one hi kristen matt hi um so i'll keep it short I just got a part-time job as a snowboarding instructor. And my question is, or what I need advice on is how to talk to a group of people.
low down on like what it means to snowboard and like all the little things and just basically have a talking moment before we actually go on the hill and like show them how to actually
snowboard which that's the part that i like i like to just kind of like show how it's done
rather than talk about it so my question is um or if you guys have any pointers on how to speak
to people how to speak to strangers without getting nervous.
And, you know,
just like any advice that you guys have,
you know,
on not losing your train of thought,
which I'm very good at.
So, yeah.
Thanks, guys.
She's saying she's joking.
First of all, you're so likable.
You don't have to worry about that at all.
You can lose your train of thought
as much as you want.
People will be like,
oh, she's so sweet, though. Or so cool, whatever. Oh, man, I always think about losing my train of thought as much as you want people will be like oh she's so sweet though like we're so cool whatever oh man i always think about
losing my train of thought though yeah but i fucking talk for a living say what basically
what you just said say i'm not i'm not one much for talking i much prefer to show to do and show
rather than explain yeah beforehand if any of you have any questions ever yeah stop me but if
everyone's okay with it let's start shredding it, let's just go shred some gnar.
Yeah.
No.
Well, no, but you probably have to do the safety stuff.
Right.
But if it's just safety stuff, then that's easy.
Then you know what to do.
Just go through the steps.
Yeah.
But if you're talking about meeting and greeting the new people in the class or whatever it is, I don't think you need to do much.
Because here's the thing, though.
She's obviously.
Yeah.
But she's a young woman and she's going to be dealing with like all sorts of people, all sorts of ages.
She's going to be dealing with parents.
She's going to be dealing with guys who are thinking like, what's this chick going to tell me about snowboarding even though they're going there with snowboarding?
You know what I mean?
So like I understand the nerves. I'm making her so much more nervous, you know, by the way, what's this chick going to tell me about snowboarding even though they're going there with snowboarding? You know what I mean? So like, I understand the nerves.
I'm making her so much more nervous,
you know, by the way, what I'm saying.
But like, but I understand the nerves.
There's going to be assassins.
There will be ninjas.
There will be ninjas, legit ninjas.
And Donald Trump will be there too.
So, but no, but it will be, it will be,
it is hard, but here's the deal.
On a slope, if you're outside with your gear on
that's the best version of that because there's so many distractions and also people aren't
necessarily going to be paying attention anyway yeah like trust me so and what matt said is you
are likable and if you lose your train of thought just just be like, sorry, I lost my train of thought.
What was I talking about?
Who can help me?
You involve them.
Also, you're a snowboard instructor.
No one expects you to never lose your train of thought.
It's not like you're teaching a debate class.
Yeah.
You're not there to speak.
No one even gives a shit if you're good at it.
I'm not here to talk.
I'm here to shred some gnar, but there are some ground rules.
Yeah, there you go.
This buckles this, and this goes into that.
You're either goofy foot or straight foot, here you go there's the thing and okay now look if you have any other questions let me know wait lost my train of thought what was i
talking about oh yeah shredding a gnar let's go yeah just i hope you wrote that down because
that's exactly you don't have to have it on video you can just rewind play this i'll do it uh yeah
i get here's the thing.
It's something he said is very true.
Shred the gnar.
Besides shred the gnar is people are never listening or even more paying as close attention
as you think they are.
People's brain, think about you, the last time you listened to someone speak that you
didn't know in a class
setting or something like that seminar or whatever you were not really fully listening yeah and if
you were you weren't really fully paying attention yeah like we don't do that as humans that's not
how our minds work the person speaking or delivering the speech we get worked up we get
nervous we get scared we get whatever but that's like that's not necessary because we have to remember what it's like to listen to people we don't listen we barely pay any attention like my
brother's doing to me right now he could not repeat 10 words exactly uh that i just said 9.6
but yeah so if that might help ease your anxiety about it like like people are, it might sound weird to be like,
no one gives a shit about what you're saying,
whatever you want,
but that actually is helpful,
I think,
because don't worry about fucking up.
There's no way to fuck up.
Also,
the more you do it,
it's going to get easier.
I mean,
I know this is,
you know,
obvious,
but the experience is the best teacher.
And I,
I coined that phrase.
Yeah,
you did.
Yeah.
But yeah,
no,
it is.
And, you know, also. But yeah, no, it is.
And, you know, also let me just say,
I don't know if this helps your confidence or what, but you're not the kind of person
that seems like they need to worry about that.
You know, people seem, like I said, you're likable.
You're not this hard ass. You you know it'll be probably okay yeah you're gonna do great
nice you're gonna do great all right one more because we took so long on that first one
an assassin hey what's up guys long time baby here gonna get right into it uh i had a three
year relationship that uh you know started
around covid uh you know we got along really well but there were a lot of things like our customs
and and and values that we just didn't see eye to eye on and i think both of us were just kind
of too virtuous to call it quits right uh but that eventually it fizzled out and we we had to call it
quits um fast forward over a year later i'm now happily married i have
my first kid on the way what uh super stoked about that um but my ex and i you know we we still stay
in touch and there's nothing romantic about it we're just kind of cool we share a sense of humor
like we'll see stuff on instagram like some chick who works in an office but gets a you know highly
produced photo shoot done of her
doing fucking kundalini yoga with her baby right we think that stuff's funny right or she'll send
me uh you know update on what her crazy uncle just did who no one else knows sure um now i've never
given my wife any indication that we don't communicate or we have some kind of beef or
something like that but it's not like i tell her yeah, I just heard this thing from my ex last week.
You know what I mean?
So I guess my question is, you know, I don't want her to think at any point there's anything going on.
Do I just randomly bring it up and say, oh, hey, I talk to my ex every so often.
You know, I just haven't really brought it up for the past over year that we've been together.
just haven't really brought it up for the past over year that we've been together or do i just wait for her to inevitably have her head on my shoulder and see a text pop up from my ex and go
what's that and who's that um yeah just not really sure how to approach that and and obviously i
don't want to cause any risk i'm in a pretty good relationship but my ex and i are are our friends
and cool and we shoot shit and joke and then move on with our lives let me know what you think thanks what a what a well-spoken guy well-spoken also just a great yeah but what i don't get is
question that is a good question but what i don't get is why why has it not come up like why would
it come up or why would it be part of your life and he's got a kid with this woman well he said
every once in a while right they're not like yeah i know i know people yeah
i get i get yeah i know i understand you're right years long relationship no i know where my
girlfriend doesn't have like know every single one of my friends that i'm in touch yeah i know
i know but like i keep in touch with a lot of my exes the fact that it's an ex makes it a little
bit yeah like why wouldn't that come out nose right you just knows. Right. You know? And I told her from jump.
Yeah.
Because, you know,
I did the thing where I was like,
yo, by the way,
I have friends that like,
or my exes,
like I don't want to,
I hope you're okay with that.
But I did that really early on.
It's way easier
to do it early on.
But then early on,
they might lie and be like,
no, it's totally cool.
And then it's not,
you know,
scratch your eyes up
because you're talking.
Right, right, right.
But no,
but Kristen's always cool
with that shit.
So.
I'm assuming your wife's gonna be fine with it
that's the first better but you've got a kid and and i know i mean not you better be it could go
like if she's like i'm not comfortable with this you need to stop talking to her he would probably
just do it because yeah yeah i was taking that was like she's gonna leave you yeah of course well
no obviously not that right i'm just saying like you know on the spectrum of things that could
happen one is she could be like i'm not comfortable with that yeah you need to stop talking to her asap then you have a decision how dare could you tell me
could you not how dare you for how dare could you tell me how dare could you tell me uh all the way
up to oh yeah that's that's cool why it's weird you never told me it's one of those two i guess
anything in between it sucks though that this guy seems like he's totally on the level and
well he is right i mean we don't know i
mean if what he said next to him right now i made the video you know but like yeah he seems really
nice what if what if it was a whole plan what if she really was next to him it's his kink and then
like he knows she watches his wife watches his podcast yeah yeah and like but and it's his king
she's never talked about it but he saw on like her youtube history oh yeah oh dude we're on to you dude that's crazy we're fucking on to you oh
yeah give me a lifeline oh yeah um no i i don't think uh it'll be that big of a deal i don't know
her but if you were this well no people get with crazy people so who knows but yeah you just be
like okay well so what does he tell her then?
Yo, something I never told you, but sometimes my ex texts me,
like we send her funny things, and I just don't want ever to pop up and you to ask and not think I like holding it for me,
so I'm just letting you know, because I was texting with her today.
That's what I was thinking.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to rephrase that.
But yeah, just be like, yeah, her finding out,
it's like, why wouldn't you have said something but yeah just be like we talked today and i realized i've never even told
you this and that makes me feel like weird so yeah next time it happens next time she texts you
your ex yeah try to remember all of these feelings and and talk to your wife about it and be like,
look, this is so kind of weird.
And last time she texted, I thought about it.
This time she texted me, I don't want to forget about it.
Like, I want to bring it up.
Like, I want you to know this because it's been on my mind and I want everything to be
on the level and above board, whatever.
I think saying though, I just don't want, i don't want it to pop up and you see
it and feel weird that i didn't tell you so i'm telling you i think that's a key thing to say
why is that important because otherwise it seems like you're trying to hide something
i feel like the opposite if you come out and say it it seems like the opposite of hiding something
yeah what i think is what you're saying is when you say something like
i've been thinking about this and it puts more weight on it. And it makes it sound like, oh, shit, I better tell her.
When it's not supposed to be that.
You guys are friends now.
She's not just your ex, you're friends.
And you, you know, like, yo, she texted me.
And I, what did I say he has to tell her?
I forget.
What did you say, what?
That he has to tell her? What do you mean say what that he has to tell her what do you mean
I just said something
that he
is the key part
what's the key part
oh the thing
the thing
you don't want her to see
yeah yeah yeah
that was the key part
you're a dumb idiot
no no no
I lost my train of thought
like the snowboarder
and I'm not embarrassed about it
worse and dumber
and I'm not embarrassed about it
yeah exactly
the episode titles
by the way
are either worse and dumber
disagree police or the
something we said recently what doing the post show beating uh during the show i know but i
forget what no you do this all the time finish the fucking advice and then we could talk about
episode titles you know i think the key is to say i just don't you know you know, I realize, you know, I talk to you,
I was like,
I never fucking actually told you.
And I know one day inevitably it's going to pop up and you're going to think that I'm
holding it from you.
That's it.
Yeah.
That's the key.
So you agree that's the key.
You finally did it right.
You finally did it the right way.
So you agree that's the key.
Yeah.
Only because you finally said it the right way,
not the wrong way.
I want to follow up on that when he does it.
Oh,
so do I.
I would love a follow up.
He's just,
he's just crying his eyes out.
Have her send it.
He's crying his eyes out doing it, talking to us.
And then the other guy who we talked about on Lifeline Luxury doing the acting is acting
the monologue and doing that.
That's so weird.
Why did I think about him too?
What?
Because you're crying.
But that is not a good reason to think of somebody just because he's crying.
He was crying.
And then you were thinking of the guy that was crying.
And we were talking about it here.
Oh, come on.
Like it's an obvious thing to think about I'm just saying
that is why you thought of it
therapist I'm Freud all right
um all right yeah so that's good
all right cool listen I'm gonna be
in uh San Diego I'm gonna be in a bunch of
different cities uh
chrislea.com go get tickets Saginaw
Nanaimo Corpus Christi
made them all up
Indiana Grand Rapids Nor Norfolk, Virginia.
Go to chrislee.com.
Green Bay, he'll be in Green Bay, folks.
Check out The Private Record, my new solo podcast.
Subscribe to the YouTube channel at The Private Record.
You want a one-on-one, a one-on-one advice session with me, yours truly,
go to mattalia.com.
And, yes, of course, get the Lifeline merch.
And please, my friends, do not forget our beautiful, wonderful sponsor.
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Do not forget to check that out.
What else?
There's one more thing.
What was I going to say?
Oh, of course.
The link in the description below.
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Is that everything?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, no, it isn't.
What?
No, it isn't. Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. You don't what no it isn't patreon.com slash lifeline luxury everything
you gotta sign up no you do have to say because it's the best show in the world it's that and
then the sopranos it is that and then the sopranos and then breaking bad okay all right patreon.com
slash lifeline luxury it's where it's on and popping non-stop the time. So it goes Patreon, Lifeline, Sopranos.
No, Lifeline Luxury, Sopranos, Breaking Bad.
That's what I just said.
You said Patreon Lifeline.
Yeah.
The title is Lifeline Luxury.
Okay.
The Lifeline on Patreon, Patreon or Lifeline Luxury,
then Sopranos, then Breaking Bad?
Yeah, basically, yeah.
And fourth is congratulations.
Okay.
All right.
Thanks, guys guys we did it