Lifeline - 120. 2001: A Croissant Odyssey
Episode Date: July 28, 2024LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Also has a full live show. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbq...jvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 Today, we're discussing best practices around toilet lids and also escalators, Rock-Paper-Scissors, thoughts around eating burritos in the shower, and an epiphany derived from licking some ice cream. 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Oh boy. Episode one, one nine. Is that right? Or what?
I know. No, I know. I bet I'm saying. And then also, so that's what it is. Yay.
And then also we've got more Lifeline Lives coming up.
They should be on my website right now, but we'll see.
We're going to do one in Oxnard and one in Brea.
Yep.
Right?
Yep.
So that's Southern California, so be sure to get your tickets to that. I don't know if they're up yet, but they might be, so go's Southern California. So be sure to get your tickets to that I don't know if they're up yet, but they might be so go to my website anyway
And you can watch those at patreon.com slash lifeline luxury. So that's what's up last one sold out
You best get in there when they go up
Yeah, basically the same
quickness of
sellout as
Taylor Swift so oh
Yeah, that might be a bit a bit of an overstatement in that ball, huh?
It might be a might be a bit of an overstatement, but anyway
That's what's happening
robot
It's all right Dallas Wichita and Memphis. That's where I'll be next. So go there and San Diego.
Oh yes.
Oh wait, no, that would be done already.
Oxnard, California.
I'll be there as well on my lonesome.
Beaumont, Texas, McCown, Texas,
Peterborough, Ontario, Sudbury, some place called that.
Sudbury, what the hell's that?
Thunder Bay.
Anyway, that's where I'll be.
Go to chrislea.com, get those tickets.
Making places up.
Go subscribe to my solo podcast,
The Private Record.
Yee hee hee hee hee.
That's not something to be like,
and you know.
Check him off in a box.
Yee hee hee hee hee.
You wanna go yee hee hee hee on that one.
And obviously if you wanna be on this show,
go to the description below
or just go to watchlifeline.com.
Yee hee hee hee.
You could also just call the hotline.
If you don't wanna show your face, go heeheehee.
You wanna one on one session with me,
go to matttoliet.com, heeheehee.
Matt.
And of course get the Lifeline merch
at lifelinemerch.com and heeheehee.
Yeah, okay.
I mean, you did that eight times.
So it's all settled now.
All right, so anyway, subscribe to our channel
and that's, you know, just subscribe to our channel and that's,
you know, it's just subscribe to our channel and all that.
It's what you gotta do.
Yeah.
Did we recent, did the channel recently break 600,000
or was that?
Yeah. It did, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe a few months ago I think.
I don't know.
Yeah, no, it's good, yeah.
And I haven't seen you in, well, have I seen you?
No. Nope. I just got back have I seen you? No. Nope.
I just got back, I'll tell you so.
Well.
And I'm yawning because of the jet lag, fine, whatever.
But.
Someone tell me what jet lag is.
Okay, so it's basically when you're on a plane
for amounts of time that break up your circadian rhythm
when you sleep.
Smart.
And no, I mean, I've never known.
No, no, no, I'm smart, I'm saying for no reason.
I understand that's what you meant
because you couldn't have meant anything else.
And I knew that because smart.
But I don't, it's not that I don't,
obviously I'm not one of these ass hats who's like,
I don't believe in this.
No, I am the same way.
But it just has never really happened to me.
The same.
I've been exhausted from a long, terrible flight.
So I...
But I adjust like that to the new time zone.
So let me tell you what I struggle with is,
what's the difference between being tired and jet lag?
Thank you.
Like you're just...
Like it's like one of those things that's almost so obvious.
If you all of a sudden switch your schedules, you shouldn't have to call it something. It's why one of those things that's almost so obvious. If you all of a sudden switch your schedules,
you shouldn't have to call it something.
It's why I get confused.
Yes, do you agree with me?
I completely agree with you.
Yeah, so that's the thing.
Of course, if you wanna call it jet lag,
yes, I guess that's what I am,
but we shouldn't even have a term for it.
I completely agree.
My whole sleep went from daytime to nighttime,
nighttime to daytime immediately.
Yeah.
So if that happened and I didn't get on a jet,
it would also fuck me up.
So is that jet lag?
No, well, no, because it was, no,
but that's, that's your illustrating why,
I understand what you're doing.
That's what I'm saying.
You're illustrating why it's stupid.
And when I have a pen in my hand like this, I'm more serious and my points are even better
and I do it like this because I'm going to get into politics more.
Fine.
And so when people watch this show, they're going to go back and watch all 119 episodes
and see my progression into a politician.
All right.
Fine.
And hee hee hee hee.
No.
What?
Makar, you want to say something?
What's wrong with... Here we go. Oh, man
What's wrong with having a specific term for something? No, no, no, but but you're
Slightly missing his point. Nothing is wrong with having nothing's wrong with it, but it's so it's like this. Here's jetlag
Here's being tired. It's like they're so similar the same thing
So it's just instead of walking in a room and saying,
I'm tired because I was traveling,
you just have jet lag.
Is that, there we go then, is that what that means?
Yes, I'm tired because of traveling.
Then that answers my question,
because I actually didn't know really what it meant
because people say it all the time,
and I'm like, what do you mean?
But if you look up jet lag,
it doesn't say tired from traveling,
it says what I said about the-
Tired of traveling across several time zones,
and all of that is implied. Okay, so all it means is tired from traveling, you get that? said about- Well tired of traveling across several time zones and all of that is implied.
Okay, so all it means is tired from traveling.
I'm looking at it.
Across several time zones.
Okay.
Because I'm with you, I don't think that's
what the definition technically is.
No, I thought it.
If it is, then I'm all good, everything's good.
Yeah, same, I never heard it that way.
And vote for me.
So if I fly to Sacramento from here, I can be jet lagged.
No.
No.
I'm tired from Pirate.
There's also, by the way, it's a different kind of tired.
It's...
Now we're getting to the nitty gritty thing
that's starting to piss me off though.
Now we're getting to the nitty gritty nuts and bolts.
But nooks and crannies.
It's a different kind of tired
because you just changed your whole schedule.
Not because of a jet.
You understand what I'm saying?
Yes, it is because of a jet
and therefore it's perfectly reasonable and great
that it has its own fucking term.
Great.
Mmm.
I don't know man. I've always had a problem with this.
Mmm.
And so I use the term because I don't want to be one of those dickheads that's like not using a term that is just everyone uses.
You're in a real predicament because you don't want to be the dickhead that doesn't use the term just because you don't want to use the term.
Those people suck too.
When I got to-
Yeah.
When I got to-
I genuinely don't get it.
Yeah when I got to Australia, the first day was fine. The second day was horrible and
I couldn't sleep that night. Okay, and
That it had nothing to do with a jet high it sounds like jet lag though
Does it but it had nothing to do with a jet?
It just had to do with the fact that my schedule changed and And the reason why my schedule changes
because I got on a jet,
but if I got on a really fast train, would it be train lag?
No, because it's about the distance you travel
in the time zones.
So if I got on a train as fast as a plane.
Those don't exist.
And also trains can't go across continents, across oceans.
I understand, but they will.
Okay, man.
And so that's gonna be train lag,
or is it still gonna be jet lag?
That's my point.
No, because a train won't go as fast.
You're saying there will be a train
that goes, say, to Beijing as fast as a plane?
Yeah, one day, bro.
We didn't have iPhones 12 years ago.
Okay, that's not a point.
That's not even a point because.
We didn't have Magic Wind. And now I can take Magic Wind. A commercial, a point. That's not even a point. Because. We didn't have Magic Mind.
And now we can take Magic Mind.
Commercial, a commercial.
And get a sharp mind whenever I want, dude.
Like this, like look, look.
What, jet lag seems so weird.
Check it out.
Say who that jet.
Oh wait, now I understand what it means
and I also don't feel jet lagged.
Wow, everybody get that.
Magic Mind.
Switch.
I play volleyball. You
didn't you know you just didn't. I just learned because I drank magic mind
before you did. Such a little brother. Nope. So yeah no so all right so yeah we
I'm glad we're in the same boat I wonder how many people feel that way about
being quote-unquote jet lagged. We're gonna start a whole movement. Everyone listening to this is looking around going,
yeah, yeah, you heard this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And pretty soon everyone's gonna be walking
arm in arm down streets with signs saying,
no jet lag.
I'm tired.
No jet lag.
Just tired from traveling.
Just tired from traveling.
Would be tired also if it was a fast train I was on.
Would be tired if it was also a fast train I was on. Would be tired if it was also a fast train I was on.
Yeah, that's right.
Shit, man.
If I could go that fast over different time zones
and not on a plane, it would just be basically,
maybe we'd call it lagged.
Train lagged.
No, just lagged, depending on how.
Travel lag.
Or should we call it travel lag?
Doesn't get it. You know where should we call travel lag? ah Don't get it doesn't go tired. How many days have you been back? I got back Monday
It's not what I asked is it I'm figuring out so interesting. So that's what I'm trying to figure out I got back Monday, then it was Tuesday and now it's Wednesday so anyone with a brain could have thought oh
I got back Monday, so two days. Yeah, but- But you didn't do that.
You said I got back Monday, and that's what dad would do.
Let me tell you what I was trying to avoid.
And it would piss everyone off.
Let me tell you what I was trying to avoid.
This?
When did you get back?
Two days.
Oh, so Sunday or Monday?
That's what would have happened.
But here's what's interesting.
Nobody in the world would have thought Sunday
because that would be three days.
Thank you.
But sometimes people are like two full days
or two.
Do you count when you come in? You know what I mean?
That's what I'm trying to afford. I'm smart. Yes. Got out of that one.
Those people are terrible.
And I don't even know if they exist, but if they do, they do exist.
They're terrible. And you know they exist. And you know this.
Two days over the thing. It's like, you know, it's
did you count the day you get there as the day?
Do you count the day you get there as the day of the vacation?
Yes, got under that one.
So annoying, wow.
But it's true.
Ah.
God, when I make a point and I really drive it home,
it's like Barry Bond seeing that fastball come down,
just the pipeline and knowing. Oh, yeah.
Another dinger.
OK, that was an interesting analogy.
I guess I get it.
It doesn't really carry any impact for me, but I get it.
And you're not a politician.
He he he he he.
The worst platform.
Well, for me, he he he he.
The worst platform, Dr.
Seuss. All right. So.
Let's start. How you feeling?
What?
How you feeling?
Terrible.
Let's start.
Just cause.
That's life baby.
Yeah, it is kind of life, huh?
When you just feel terrible sometimes.
Terrible.
Sucks, right?
Yup, life's terrible.
And stop.
Well, okay.
Hey, big fans.
So here's the dilemma that I have.
When I go to the restroom,
like I'm going to the restroom to use the toilet,
I go to the bathroom and then I leave the toilet seat up.
Like I leave the cover up.
And I get really upset when someone puts the toilet down
because I have this fear and phobia
that I'm going to lift the toilet seat
and find poop in the toilet, like, unflushed poop.
And I think that no matter where I go,
everywhere I go, that's why I intentionally like
to leave the toilet seat up.
And I'm wondering, like...
Yeah.
Well, I'm not wondering anything.
What do you guys think about something like that?
Okay, thanks.
Well, it's fine
I think when people talk about leaving the toilet seat up and down they mean the rim
They don't mean the actual cover right they don't but she made a distinction. She's not talking about yeah
Yeah, she's one thing and I don't know if this there's kind of a little bit of overlap. So I read once that
Closing the lid of the toilet and not just putting the seat down
is is a that closing the lid of the toilet and not just putting the seat down is disgusting for this reason.
The person who next has to open the lid
gets all the germs that gets caught in there.
It doesn't get to air out.
Whether you go number one or number two, it doesn't matter.
When you close the lid of the toilet and then flush,
all of a sudden it goes boom, boom, boom, and makes sure just bounces into itself and then whoever opens up the toilet next
It's like a flood into their face of excrement of one sort or another and no one wants that right so everyone
Should do as this
very
Sweet young lady. Yeah is saying and don't put the lid down just the seat down
Yeah, I mean, I don't think about it
Do you think about think about what I if I go to the bathroom I go to the bathroom and I flush
If it's I have no idea if I put the lid down or not because it's not something to busy yourself thinking about
Yeah, I mean you put the seat down because it's manners.
Or you don't because it doesn't matter.
No, it's manners because I mean, people.
The seat down.
The seat, that's what I'm saying.
No, I'm saying the lid.
She's saying the lid though.
Yeah, no, the seat matters.
Sure, the seat.
The cover actually does matter.
Not so much for the reason she's saying,
but I get what she's saying.
I get thinking what's gonna be behind door number one.
Is it gonna be a big stinky donka dookie?
Or is it gonna be a whiz-waz that's a little too yellow
and makes you wanna vomit, right?
I mean, honestly.
Everyone though, flush.
Who are these people that are not flushing the toilet?
What is wrong with you?
If you're afraid to touch the handle, use your foot.
You grab paper and then put it between your fingers
in the handle and flush.
Whatever you gotta do, just flush.
Don't be a disrespectful fuck.
And not, what is wrong with you people?
Flush the toilets!
It's just disgusting, dude, it's uncivilized.
The easiest thing to do is flush your toilet,
flush the toilet.
It's uncivilized.
For me, ee hee hee.
It's uncivilized and also,
I've been watching House of Dragons, so I know what uncivilized is Well for me, ehehehe. It's uncivilized and also I've been watching House of Dragons so I know what uncivilized
is.
It doesn't make any sense.
Because they're not civilized.
You gotta admit.
I mean I've never seen it.
Well you've seen Game of Thrones.
I can glean with you.
It's pretty much the same thing.
So they're not civilized.
Okay.
And I'm watching House of Dragons and I don't know, you know, I'm not into fantasy shit.
Alright? What? Why are you watching? I don't know. I just I'm not into fantasy shit. Alright.
Why are you watching?
What?
Why are you watching?
I was on the plane and I started.
Well that's not a reason to continue watching.
The flight was 12 hours. I watched 6 episodes.
But you can watch whatever you want. You don't need to keep watching.
The other stuff was worse. I already watched Kong vs Godzilla and also TAR. You watched TAR? On the plane on the plane you watched all of tar all of it on the plane
Yeah, that is amazing thing by you watching tar why because it's so not a thing you would ever watch
I fucking loved it good for you watch better stuff then if you like
Look I didn't love tar but that is like
Anyone even if they don't like it, would agree,
that's like elevated material.
It's elevated, yeah.
Or whatever you wanna call it.
She's amazing.
She's unbelievable in it.
She's a conductor.
The big scene that she ends up getting canceled for,
or whatever, is like, that one shot thing is crazy, dude.
Oh, in the beginning?
Yeah, and it comes back to it.
So weird, yeah.
When I was watching that, I was like,
this fucking shot, and she just keeps going?
It's crazy, dude.
What she can do, it actually bothers me
when people talk about how good actors are,
because everybody's good at a certain point.
She's like the tippy of the top.
You can do acting and be passable very easily.
That's kind of what I mean, yeah. But to do what she's doing,
to do what Christian Bale's doing,
to do what I do on the set of Undateable, unbelievable.
Ha ha ha.
You know?
Stupid.
Just to the level of Cate Blanchett on tar,
Christian Bale in The Fighter and Crystal Lea in The Evil,
what's The Evil One? The Evil One? Little Evil. fighter and Krystalia in the evil one.
The evil one? Little evil.
Oh wow.
Wow.
Anyway.
I wouldn't know I didn't even watch it.
Dick, neither did I.
Hate myself, next one.
Nice.
Whoa, she's hiding.
Oh.
Yeah. Oh. Couldn't, couldn't my roommate eating a burrito in the shower.
Oh, it's kind of fucked up.
It's kind of fucked up what you're doing.
What do you think?
I think what you're doing is fucked up.
Is she deaf?
No, man.
What question is that?
Because she's the way she's eating. I know. Deaf people have to eat. Deaf people have to eat. No, man, what kind of question is that? She's eating!
Like a disgusting person.
Deaf people have to eat?
Deaf people have to eat.
No, my point isn't that.
My point is she's eating so she sounds fucked up.
Just because you can't hear it.
Why is she eating during her submission?
That was 20 seconds.
Put down the fucking burrito.
Because she was eating a burrito and she was talking about, she was referencing it.
Eating a burrito in the shower, dude?
Eating anything in the shower is disgusting.
Drinking something in the shower is okay.
Well, obviously, yeah.
What?
Scooby-Doo.
Who?
Why obviously?
Because it's drinking it, if you have a drink,
it's just right outside the shower.
You're thirsty, you take a sip, put it back down.
That's nothing.
Eating?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You gotta grab it, you gotta avoid the water,
you gotta take a bite, you gotta chew,
then you gotta swallow,
then you gotta like clean your neck or something.
Like what are you doing?
Well, I was thinking about how,
I was thinking about how you might be wrong.
About which part?
What if you have the drink in the shower?
As long as the water is not getting in it, who cares?
In the drink,
because I bring coffee in the shower all the time.
With a lid on it?
That's how badass I am. Yeah, no, yeah, with a lid on the shower all the time. With a lid on it? That's how badass I am.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, with a lid on it.
No, sometimes not with a lid on it.
Doesn't water get in it?
You don't care.
Then it's an Americano.
Stupid.
Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
No, that's, that's dumb.
I drink, I bring coffee into the shower and sometimes it turns into an Americano
depending on how careful I am.
And then what about that?
How bad soap in it? Well, no, I mean, I don't use soap when I shower
Okay, then I do I do I do a psych it's a joke
All right. Yeah, I think eating anything in the shower is absolutely it's absolutely disgusting. Oh
We know is top-notch disgusting. Yes, it's beyond. Thank you for telling us top-notch disgusting behavior in the bathroom
And that's it. I would say that telling us top notch disgusting behavior in the bathroom.
Beyond.
I would say that's,
yo, how about these people who go potty number two
and then don't, they forego wiping
because they're gonna take a shower.
That's disgusting.
I think we've actually talked about that.
That is utterly disgusting.
Well, we've talked about that,
somebody submitted an essay.
And I got mad at him then,
and I'm gonna get mad now.
It's disgusting, It's utterly disgusting.
Yeah. It's really bad.
Take fiber?
What?
Do you take fiber?
No.
Okay. Next one.
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Hey Chris and Matt, how you going?
We've got a really, really important question to ask you and we need your advices.
Great.
It's the game Paper Scissors Rock.
So...
Well, you said it wrong.
I think it's... Paper Scissors Rock. Oh, that's paper, scissors, rock. So. Well, you said it wrong. I think it's paper, scissors, rock.
Oh, that's crazy. You are wrong.
Waste of time. It's okay. So I'm it might be a generational thing. I'm 15 years old with my
partner. So I think it's paper, scissors, rock. Wrong.
And she's like paper. Foreign. Foreign. Just like English.
No, he's obviously right. So it's like when Chris said 18 out of 20,
that's what that is. Right. Yeah.
Agree. Yeah. Because it's like, when do we go?
I'm right. Well done.
So can we- Let us know what you think.
Yeah. Can we have your advice?
Cheers. Yeah.
That's a great submission. Also, we're seeing you in Perth this week. Thanks
for coming. Awesome.
I was just- Because everyone forgets about Perth. So we love
you. Bye. Dude, that show was rocking. I loved that show.
So thanks for being there.
It was lit?
Yeah, it was.
It was all lit up?
It was lit-y.
It was lit-y?
Dude, it was awesome.
That was such a good,
it was the first one I did
and I was like, well,
that's going to be the one to beat.
They were so good.
That shit was G Gordon Litty?
Perth is so weird because,
I don't know if it was the best one.
It might've been that or Sydney or Melbourne.
So many options that could've been the best one.
Well, there was also Adelaide and Brisbane.
Two Brisbane's.
Then how come when I said how was it,
you said it was not, you didn't say that at all.
You didn't say any of those things.
Because you asked me how Australia was, not the shows.
Yes, go to that one.
Obviously that's what I meant though, dude.
I don't give a fuck what you thought of the seaside part
of fucking- Making places up.
Well, dude, I mean, you might be referring to,
hey, how is the country Australia?
In which case, I could also give you info on that.
You wanna know how the shows are,
how the shows are specifically.
The country was just kind of okay.
The country's okay, but I will tell you this.
The shows were G, Gordon, Liddy?
I don't know, man.
What is that?
Were they good?
Dude, yes, the shows were mostly good.
G, Gordon, Liddy, okay.
The Adelaide show was not that great.
Adelaide, what's wrong with you guys? Other than that, all of the other shows were great. Hell yeah The Adelaide show was not that great. Adelaide, what's wrong with you guys?
Other than that, all of the other shows were great.
Hell yeah.
Adelaide show was not that great.
Kind of, it was my fault though.
I was so jet, I was so jet lagged.
We're tired from traveling.
But let me tell you something about the,
about Australia before we even,
and we could talk about this more maybe on Lifeline luxury,
which you should sign up for, Lifeline.
We also can't forget to talk about the answer
to the question.
Yes, we won't, but I,
I don't think I've talked about this yet,
but I went to,
Forgot, absolutely forgot what you were gonna say.
A place.
A place, forgot what you were gonna say, buying time.
No, I'm not, buying time.
I walked by.
Buying time. A place. Buying time? No, I'm not buying time. I walked by. Buying time.
A place.
Buying time.
Shut up, dude.
I was in Melbourne.
I walked by a place that had a huge line coming out of it.
Now, I wondered if it was a coffee place,
but I didn't wonder that much
because every third place in Australia is a coffee place.
So I assumed it was a coffee place.
And then I go like this, I'm probably right,
but it didn't check.
So I kind of just used my deductive reasoning
and made it a coffee shop, all right?
Now I go, that line in that coffee shop
is coming out of the coffee shop all the way on the street.
Okay?
I go like this, crazy.
When you see that, what do you think, ever?
What do you think?
It's coming out of a coffee shop?
Anything, a food place.
Oh, I think that place is really popular.
Right, but then what?
Do you think maybe I should wait in line?
No. No way.
No way.
Okay, okay, right. So same, okay?
I think the opposite.
I think what I think is who the fuck would wait
in that line for anything that is food.
There we go, 100%.
Same. Or drink.
I walk by the place a few times, okay?
Because I'm in the area, it's in a poppin' area.
There's always the line outside.
And now I'm like.
And you still aren't sure if it's a coffee shop?
No, no, no, now I'm, well, actually, I'm not... I know it has coffee. I don't know if it would
technically be a coffee shop. You know it's an establishment that serves things like coffee.
Right. But the line's too long for just coffee, honestly. Right? So it's called Loon, L-U-N-E.
And I'm like... Now I'm pissed off because I've been in this area for like three, four hours and there's always a line outside of it.
How good could it be? And at all times you can go, right?
Like a breakfast place from fucking nine to eleven.
It would make more sense for coffee shop.
But but but so so I'm like, all right, I'm gonna I I walk by one time and it's, there's like one person
outside of the door.
There is a line and there's one person.
The shortest possible line.
So like this, okay, I'm gonna wait in line because it's the shortest one and I can't
wait till it's not good enough and I get to be like
fuck that place. That's how my mind works. That's terrible. It's a really weird thing to not be able
to wait for. I couldn't wait to be pissed off. I can't wait for this thing that I'm waiting for to
suck is the weirdest way to think. So yeah that's literally like I'm like okay good I'm standing in
the line I'm like oh good dude oh can't wait dude. I can't fucking wait. Two women in front of, I'm like, okay, good. I'm standing in line, I'm like, oh good, dude. Oh, can't wait, dude.
I can't fucking wait.
Two women in front of me, I'm like, these women,
they probably don't know shit about what tastes good,
but they had it before, they think it's great.
I can't wait to be mad at this establishment
and mad at these women, okay?
Needs more therapy, okay, keep going.
So, it's my turn.
I get there and I notice the place has crazy, crazy good looking pastries.
So I go, makes more sense.
Yeah, that makes way more sense.
Still, five hours of a line.
But I've seen fuck-up waits for bakeries and pastries
that I have not seen for coffee.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, true, true, true.
So I say, can I get a cold coffee?
Oh, it's filtered, is that what you want?
Yeah, whatever we call it.
I don't know, fucking, you know, give me the thing.
And then let me get that almond croissant.
She go, all right, give it to me, no place to sit.
You only stand in the place.
So now I'm like-
Meaning there are no seats
or they're so crowded, there are no seats available.
There are no seats because the chairs are not there. Right. Okay. You only stand in this place. So now I'm like, I can't wait to hate this place. Yeah.
Chris. Yeah.
Coffee. Pretty good. I'm gonna give it that, okay? Okay. Almancrasan.
You start crying.
Pfft.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ung, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung. Ah. Oh Jesus yeah
What if he did this inside the place?
Please sir get out of here. This place was beyond. Just G Gordon Liddy up in here, huh?
It was so, I'll never have another Amon Croissant like it.
It was the best one you ever had.
Dude, yes.
Okay, great.
That's sad, I'll never have a better one.
Nah, it's nice.
It's like you had the best one you ever had at this one place.
It's a good story, actually.
Okay.
Sometimes the line really is worth the wait.
Is the line worth the wait is the question.
Can you tell me something?
Is it a good story or am I a good storyteller?
Well, both.
Thanks.
I mean, it can be both.
I just wonder if a boring guy told that,
it would probably be the worst story of all time.
It would be a lot shorter.
So that would be the good part.
But the boring part, like if a boring guy made it
really long, then that would suck.
All right, let's do another one.
But wait, no, we gotta answer the guy's question.
Oh, what was it?
First of all, paper, rock, scissor,
or whatever it is, is crazy.
Maybe that's Australian.
It's culturally. Obviously it is. Obviously it is. Rock, paper Maybe that's Australian. Obviously it is.
Obviously it is.
Rock, paper, scissors.
Because it's called rock, paper, scissors.
But the answer, I guess the order in which you say
it doesn't really matter, obviously it's a cultural thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's clearly rock, paper, scissors,
or paper, scissors, rock, or whatever the fuck.
You go one, two, three.
Nobody does something on four.
But no, that's not the point.
The point is, do you do it?
Because it goes one, two, three, bam.
It's not four, though.
People go rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Yeah.
Or rock, paper, scissors, and then you just do it.
Yeah.
But the point isn't that.
The point is, she was making it like too many things.
It's like whatever it was, like on each syllable or something.
Rock, paper, scissors, boom.
Oh, you did it too early.
That's what she was doing and we don't want that.
So he's right in this instance.
Hate to break it to you.
Yeah, each word is a thing.
Yeah.
Each word is a boom.
One, one, rock, paper, scissors.
And that's it.
What if I did do that thing inside that coffee place?
Oh, we did it for so long, you might have actually
had time to get kicked out. Like you might have not been able to finish before you got kicked out.
What?
If...
Stop.
It would have been fine if you weren't being so unbelievably loud.
Dude, you'd be so pissed off if someone did that.
Yeah, they're ruining your experience too, you know?
He's like trying to enjoy your almond croissant
with some assholes just singing.
Oh shit.
Making their own scene of 2001, A Space Odyssey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
2001, A Croissant Odyssey.
It was an almond croissant.
Yeah.
It was just a regular almond croissant, huh?
That's pretty sick.
I love those.
Almond croissant?
Almond croissant is like crazy.
Oh dude, they're so good. All my croissant is like crazy.
They're so good.
They're hard to fuck up actually.
2001 Croissant Odyssey.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
So yeah.
2001 Space Croissant.
Everything's done.
We did it.
Great one.
My question is when somebody asks you a hypothetical
question, how many follow-up questions do you get to ask them back
before you just have to give an answer? So let's say you're hanging out with your friends, someone
goes, you know, if you could uninvent anything in the world, what thing would you uninvent?
My knee-jerk reaction is always to ask a bunch of follow up questions because I want to understand
the limitations, the boundaries, the consequences of the universe
in which I hypothetically exist before I give you my answer. Because I think it's more fun,
but also I don't like to be misunderstood. So if you have any questions, I'm going to
ask you some questions so we don't misunderstand each other.
Yes, I like that.
But I also acknowledge that that can be kind of annoying.
Well, you can't do it 20 questions.
So what are the rules here? At what point am I being annoying and exhausting?
And I just need to give an answer
versus at what point are they being small-minded
and not really understanding the gravity
of the situation in which they have hypothetically placed me?
Well, I hope she-
Dig in, let us know what you think.
I hope she, hey, congratulations
for definitely being the sister of that guy from Saltman, because
that's what she looks like.
So that's cool.
Oh my God, she does look like Jacob Elordi.
Isn't that crazy?
Whoa.
Congratulations for definitely being his sister.
It's interesting.
You're never right about stuff like that.
Well, no, that's not true.
And you are 100% correct in this instance.
What's the guy's name?
Jacob Elordi.
Jacob...
Jacob Elordi. Oh, Lordy. That's what I was going's name? Jacob Elordi. Jace, Jacob.
Oh lordy.
That's what I was gonna do.
Jacob Elordi.
Yeah.
Like a black lady said it.
Jacob Elordi.
Yeah.
Yeah, she looks like him and that's her sister.
That's her sister, so.
Great.
Well, congratulations on your brother's success.
He's doing really well.
Yeah, I could too.
But here's- I could be in that movie, if I was in that movie,
I'd be fucking over.
Here's the thing, and people need to know this,
I'm so glad this submission came in.
Okay.
Because the answer is, you have an unlimited amount
of follow-up questions.
I hate it when somebody wants to play the fun game
of saying, you know, whatever it is.
Yeah, so do I.
Whatever happens, so is like.
I know somebody that would do that and it's annoying.
And then you ask two or three questions
and they're like, I don't know, like, I don't know,
just like answer the question or whatever,
or whatever you want the answer to be.
No, it's not up to me.
You ask the question.
Yeah, 100%.
This is the game that you started.
Exactly, so if I have follow up questions,
you need to be prepared,
even if you haven't thought of them yet,
to think of the whatever,
permutations, ramifications.
Yeah, anything with asians really, masturbations.
All asians.
Solutations.
But yeah, so obviously,
the what you do to the woman submitting the question, you doing it right. Mm-hmm, and the people who are like, oh, I don't know they throw in the towel on their own
Yeah, then it's you know what you don't even respect yourself
Yeah, you have no self-respect and you have no respect for the other person's time or
Energy that they're expending in their brain. It's like you're asking somebody to think about something
Yeah, and then they do think about it and then you're like, nah, you're doing too much.
And it's like, no, fuck you.
It's all happening because of you.
Yeah, you know who does that?
No, I mean, I know some people who do that.
Me?
What's happening?
I don't do that, so it better not be coming.
No, I don't, dude.
Well, you do because, and I will tell you this much,
how many times in our lives do you go,
hey, ask a question, and then I go say something,
and then I ask a question about that,
and then you go, I don't wanna talk about that anymore.
You know that's your thing.
Well, that's different, though.
It's a little different.
It's a little different.
You don't like to have conversations.
Give me an example, be more specific about it.
Like, I'll ask you what.
I mean, it could be as simple as this.
Are you hungry?
And then I go, yeah.
Are you?
And you go, yeah.
I say, what kind of food do you want?
You're like, I don't know.
I don't wanna talk about it.
God, when is the last time you did it though?
A long time ago.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
But even at that, it's a hypothetical
is what we're talking about.
That's not hypothetical. I know. But also that's different it's a hypothetical is what we're talking about. That's not a hypothetical.
I know.
But also that's different
because I'm losing interest in my own inquiry.
Yeah, but it's kind of like that though.
It's similar, but it's not the same thing.
All right, okay.
This happens to me a lot.
I agree, I agree.
This thing where people are like coming up
with an interesting hypothetical,
then you engage in the game and they're like,
I don't know, like, just answer.
Yeah, because there has to be some sort of,
what do you call it, disclaimers and stuff in the thing.
It's like, if you could have one wish,
what would you wish for?
You know, maybe you'd say, okay, well,
is it a wish for myself or is it a wish for the world?
Is the world elastic or is it like the real concrete world?
Like, can I just like say my wish is nobody
ever goes hungry ever again?
Or unlimited wishes, can I do that?
Oh. You know what I'm saying?
I wish we're unlimited wishes.
You got the guy who goes,
let's just make the wish, you know,
you're like, all right, unlimited wishes.
And they go, nah, that's not fun.
You fucking, that was your rule.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you're going to open the hypothetical floodgates,
you got to be ready to answer all questions
about your inquiry.
If you're going to open the hypothetical floodgates, you must be willing to open the hypothetical questioning.
Wow. Okay.
So we got that one.
We got that one in the bag.
So Jolly, how you laughed?
So what?
Jolly, how you laughed.
What did I do?
Alright, next one.
Hello, Chris and Matt. Sorry for my sunburn.
I'm a redhead. We burn really easy. Okay. Anyways I am a bartender in Vegas. I forgive you. And my
name is Destiny. So that being said when I introduce myself guys always feel the need to say like oh
are you my Destiny or occasionally I'll get the is that your real name or your stage name. Both are
equally annoying. That one's not so bad. That's annoying.
It is annoying.
It is annoying.
So I need some cover to say.
The first one's the worst.
And Chris, I saw you when you came to Vegas.
Awesome show.
Matt, I love you.
Thank you guys.
Awesome.
Love you too.
So I, my, so Kristen does this thing where she sometimes,
like, okay, so in Australia, she was in Australia some of the time, right?
And Denny Denzel love my the guy who opens for me. Oh
The air went on for some reason it's his name Denzel. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that and he often wears a shirt with Denzel
Washington, which is hilarious, but
Anyway, Denny Love, who's
hilarious, killed it all week. He jokes about how he's a short king, you know, I
don't know how tall he is, five something, right? And so Kristen latched on to that
and would have made short jokes, which was funny. but every one she made, I'm like, babe, come on.
That's so think beyond just that, you know?
Okay.
She'd be like, look, then this is just an example.
And she did not do this, but like, if there were a bunch of things, the same size
and one was short, she'd be like, look, this one's for Denny.
I'm like, babe, it's not worth it though.
You know, like, you know, sure.
And so that's that, you know, it's not worth it though. You know, like, you know? Sure. And so that's that, you know?
It's like, you gotta understand.
But it's not as bad what Kristen was doing.
Cause what Kristen was doing, I was like,
she was like, well, I'm not a professional comedian.
I'm like, yeah, but everything you say,
I like, I think about it and think,
oh, I'm not gonna say that, you know?
But that is just like frat guy language.
That's just like, that's so,
I don't know why, look, no, you don't have to come up
with the best thing ever saying always in every situation,
but that's crazy to be like, are you my destiny?
That's crazy, you suck.
Dude, here's what everyone needs to think when this thought enters their mind right like it's the joke in swingers. It's like when Heather Graham
John Favre meets Heather Graham and and her name is Lorraine and he says I like the quiche and she's like
I like I've not heard that. Yeah
It it struck me then I saw that movie when I was like 13 or something
It struck me then, and I saw that movie when I was like 13 or something.
Yeah.
It's just like, dude, when you meet a woman
and you're interested in her,
you wanna leave an impression on her for whatever reason,
and you hear her name, and your instinct is to make
a clever or funny comment about that name,
do yourself an immense favor and put it in your pocket
and don't say it because here's the thing.
You're not, I guarantee you,
you're not the first person to do it.
In fact, I guarantee you,
you're not even the 10th person to do it.
They've been named that their entire life.
So if you meet a woman and she's 27
and she has a name just sticking with this, Lorraine or Destiny. Is Lorraine a quiche thing? Yeah. And so
no, the swingers made it up. No, no, no, I know but I never knew that. That's one of
my favorite movies of all time and I never knew Lorraine Quiche. Is it
called Lorraine Quiche? Quiche Lorraine? What is that? In the movie when that line happens you didn't know.
I know what it means and I know I was always like oh Lorraine is a
quiche thing.
Right.
But what does it mean?
It's a style of quiche?
It's quiche Lorraine, isn't it?
Quiche Lorraine?
Okay, whatever, anyway.
Quiche Lorraine.
Yeah.
And so, Destinies, obviously there's a lot of names
like this, don't make the joke, don't do it.
They're not gonna like it
because they've heard it a thousand times.
What is the one most annoying thing someone can do?
Make a joke you've heard thousands of times.
You shit in your face, okay, or that.
That is also a joke.
It's less disgusting than one.
A thousand times before.
Separate yourself and don't make that joke.
What do you think about if you said,
they say a thing and a joke pops in your head, right?
And then you say, instead of saying the joke, you you say how many times do people say that's good that works
because that at least that at least you're no that's fine it's a little
better it's just as annoying no it's not because you can be like oh no like that
you must get this all the time I'm sorry you don't need to you're not inviting a
response you don't you're not you don't have to say how many times you can say
oh you just sympathize and leave it at that you don't need to, you're not inviting a response. You don't have to say how many times you can say, oh, you can just sympathize and leave it at that.
You don't need to make it a thing.
You could sympathize and then be like, oh, I like that name.
It must be da, da, da, da, da.
And then move on.
That's fine.
That's not the same thing.
It's totally different when someone thinks they're being
funny and they fail.
Okay.
Than it is to just make an observation.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. I've come around.
Thank you.
But what do you do in that situation?
I mean, I don't know, it's so annoying.
Just, you know, cause you don't wanna be a dick.
Just go whoops, you dried the pussy up and spin around.
Oh wow, I mean, that would be.
Well was it your intent to dry the pussy up
cause that's what you did and then spin around.
The, you know?
Um...
Um...
Oh God, I don't know.
What should you say?
Just honestly, honestly, save everybody.
Time and awkwardness and discomfort.
Say nothing.
Say nothing.
Say absolutely zero sounds.
No, you should have cards that say the joke on it.
And then when somebody does it, just hand it to them.
It feels so stupid.
Sure, that works too.
We like that one.
But if that requires working.
Sure, that actually is interesting.
Get them laminated.
And just put it, hand it to them when they say it.
And then, but still say nothing.
Yeah, is Kinko still a thing?
Kinko's, it's FedEx Kinko's.
Oh, right.
It's Office. Right. Is Kinko's still a thing? Kinko's, it's FedEx Kinko's. Oh, right. FedEx Office.
Right.
Hmm.
Okay.
Right, or the FedEx store now?
I think it's just the FedEx store.
Did they buy them out or?
Yeah.
FedEx bought Kinko's like fucking 20 years ago.
Yeah, forever ago.
But it was, it used to be called FedEx Kinko's
and then they just dropped the Kinko's
because they're racist against Japanese people.
It is?
What?
It is? It is what?
Kinkos is racist?
No, I said they dropped the Kinkos
because FedEx is racist against Japanese people, I'm kidding.
Kinkos.
You know?
Kinko.
Anyway.
Yeah, either say nothing or make the cards
and hand it to them and then also say nothing.
Thank you, next.
Hi Matt and Chris. Longtime listener from Bulgaria.
What's up?
Podcast guys, keep it up.
I love Bulgarians.
This has been happening lately and I want to know how you feel about this.
Okay.
So whenever I go off the metro, I try to take the escalator and just stand on the step
I try to take the escalator and just stand on the step like a normal person. But every time someone shows up and tries to walk up the escalator.
Now keep in mind the escalator is not that wide so you have to kind of squeeze into the
right so the person can just walk up.
I don't mind this if it happens once or twice.
But keep in mind there's also stairs right next to the escalator.
They want to go extra fast.
Now it would be reasonable if you're in a rush to just take the stairs, right?
I'm not going insane here.
Anyway, let me know what you think about this.
What should I tell these people whenever this happens?
Because it's a bit unreasonable in my opinion.
No, I don't agree with him because I think you go extra fast if you have the stairs and
you have the escalator and walk up it.
Better than him succinctly put, say what he's getting at, what he's saying.
What?
For me.
Better than him? Rephrase what he said better and clearer than he did.
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
He's saying.
I think I get it, but I'm not sure.
He's saying that when he's on an escalator,
he stands still and people are always trying to walk by him.
Why don't they just take the stairs?
Because it's always making me have to move and stuff.
Here's the truth, and I'm sorry,
I wanna be nice to Bulgarians,
because I was raised to be a nice boy to Bulgarians.
But move your fucking lazy ass.
They're just stairs that move.
They're not stairs to be lazy on.
Now, if you have like a disability,
obviously there's no pressure on you to move.
Everybody understands this person needs the escalator
for a fucking health reason.
But dude, if you're a young and able-bodied as you obviously are,
move your fucking lazy ass.
Well, I know I don't think you have to move your ass, but-
Then move your ass over.
Yes, yes, yes.
One or the other.
Definitely, definitely if I want to go faster on the escalator,
then that's definitely an option that I can choose.
Yeah.
And move it. Move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it,
move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it,
move it, move it, move it, move it, move it.
What if I broke like that and never stopped ever
until I died?
Honestly.
I would never have sex again.
That's what you think of?
Well, yeah, dude.
You think about the really basic things,
being at a restaurant, having sex,
having a serious conversation would be all over for me.
Move it, move it, move it, move it, move it, move it,
until, dearly beloved,
people crying at my funeral.
He was such a nice man,
but for the last 40 years of his life,
he would not stop saying move it.
Oh, so you think he'd be 80?
Fuck, man.
I'm not 40, I'm 20.
So, okay, so well, it's, you know what's really hard
is in Australia, they drive on the other side of the road
and then they also walk on the other side too.
Cause it goes hand in hand.
I mean, wow, wow.
It goes hand in hand.
Like the escalator is like, you know how like.
Oh yeah, the default position is the other side.
Yeah, I mean, it's crazy how much of the world
that is true. Well, it's only America and I think like
very rare places in Europe that do it.
Europe and anywhere they have that?
I thought it was all the other way around in Europe.
I think in, for some reason,
I think when we were in London, it wasn't like that.
No, wrong.
Wrong, okay.
Well, then it was somewhere.
By the way, it's the second time this episode that he did that. The first time he said, so you're wrong. Right, oh wow, wrong. Wrong, okay. Dick, there's somewhere to do it. By the way, it's the second time this episode
that he did that.
The first time he said, so you're wrong.
Right, oh wow, wow.
Yeah, go back.
What a dick you are.
He said, so you're wrong.
What's it like being such a dick?
Yeah, that's a good interview.
What is it like?
I have something else that I want to.
I have something else.
You're a piece of shit.
I went to the bath, just back to the first caller.
Okay, oh wow. That was when you were addicted me by the way, but god
That's where I thought of it. I
During this last call I went to the bathroom. Not only was the lid the lid was down. Yeah
There was shit in there was piss in there. Oh
Who does it?
Who did that in there? Not me? Yeah
Someone took a piss and didn't flush the studio toilet.
Yeah, it was Anthony.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't me.
You know why I know it wasn't me?
Cause I took a shit when I went in there
and then I flushed it.
Oh, man, you know.
So it definitely wasn't me.
You know who it definitely was?
I know who it was.
I 100% know who it was.
I 100% know who it was.
It was Anthony.
Because he always goes to the bathroom
right after we start recording.
He does.
I always flushed but I did not today.
Oh, it could have been, we had a guest in here earlier.
He just said, I always flushed but I did not today.
He admitted it.
I always flushed but I didn't flush today.
You admitted it.
Yes, we got it.
No, we know what you meant.
But that's how you said it.
Technically the way you said it was admitting it.
So we're-
Yes, we got another one.
We got you.
It might've been me, but it was you.
Yeah, you peed.
So it was probably- Yeah, it might've been me. It was was you. Yeah, you peed. So it was probably me.
Yeah, it might've been me.
It was not me.
One thing is for sure, it's not me.
I'm just trying to remember if I even peed
when I was in there though,
because I went in there.
What, you were just going in there
for a fucking hangout, going to Zoom?
To make sure I didn't look like a fuck
before we started recording.
Oh, oh.
Because I never look at myself.
I never look at myself before I record, wow, ever.
I always do, because I don't look at myself
before I leave the house,
and I realize,
like I'll catch myself in the reflection of something
and I'll be like, wow, I look like such a fuck.
Isn't that something?
Isn't that something? You mean bad?
Well, yeah.
Okay.
It's like looking like a fuck would be a good thing.
I don't know, man.
I mean, I don't know.
And it's just like, ee, you know?
No. All right, I don't remember the last submission, but I think't know. And it's just like, eeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee We treat people with really severe OCD and anxiety. I absolutely love my job.
I've been working in behavioral health and for this company
for over three years now.
They hired me originally in a very different role
and then a little over a year ago,
they offered me the case management position,
which was very exciting for me because you have to have
like a specific kind of degree, oh my God,
and credentials and experience
to have that kind of opportunity.
And I don't even have a degree.
I dropped out of college almost 10 years ago
and I am thinking about going back
but that would look like me starting from scratch,
racking a bunch of debt
and doing like fucking algebra homework again
and who wants to do that?
The reason I'm thinking about it is because
like what if I want to move again
or something happens to this company,
I'm not gonna be able to get hired at the same rate
or position that I'm in now.
And so yeah, I'm just trying to feel more prepared,
I guess, I don't know.
Let me know what you think.
I love you so much.
I listen to the Patreon and congratulations.
I've been here since the beginning.
You're my favorite humans.
Let me know what you think, bye.
Thank you.
Thanks, Sam.
You know, I think that's really sweet.
I think that it depends on how long
you have to go back to school for.
And usually it's pretty long, so I would say fuck it.
Just do, just live your life.
It's a great question.
I've never even really heard that.
Yeah, no, neither have I.
Why didn't, are they allowed to do that?
That's the thing I didn't know.
Allowed to do what specifically?
I thought if you have to have credentials,
you have to have credentials, period. Like you, I don't know how is there
skirting the system? Is it skirting the system now? Wouldn't that be making you go through
exactly the requirements of the system? Unless I miss. No, no, no, no, no, no. She did not
get credit. She doesn't have credit. Yes. And she has the job. But what is her the job?
So what would be going back to school for?
In case something happens to that company
and she needs to get a job at another company,
they're gonna be like, well, you don't have the credentials.
Yeah. I misunderstood.
Oh, okay.
Or I missed a detail in there, yeah.
Okay. I had all the details.
Yeah, so. Damn.
I say it depends on how long school is.
If it's a year, okay, tough it out,
but it's usually longer than that.
And in which case, deal with that if it happens.
I think.
But here's the thing, if you've leapfrogged
and you've been at a company
and you've successfully filled the role,
who cares if you have the necessary credentials
to have filled that role?
You'd fill the role.
The brass.
It's like saying you need to go to the minor leagues.
The brass.
To become a professional baseball player.
But it's not though.
And then you go to the professional baseball leagues
and you start hitting Homer, Homer, Homer, Homer,
Homer, hello, Homer.
It's not.
And then another team is gonna sign you
and they're like, ooh, we love your work
but you were never in AAA.
It's not like that because it's a legal issue,
I would think.
If it's a legal issue, then obviously you don't have
a choice, you gotta go to school.
Right, but she doesn't have to go now. No, she doesn't so that's what I'm saying
Just if something happens to the company go then then go back to school
Yeah, totally totally what I'm saying and you're sounding you're making it the way you're talking about the cadence is making it seem like we're arguing
And we're not we're agreeing on and that's the craziest thing. No, I know but I want you to change your cadence
I don't give a fuck what you want. How, how's that? Well, now we're arguing.
Now we're arguing.
Now we're arguing.
Yeah, no, go to school only if you absolutely have to.
Don't be like, oh, well, what if this goes away?
Deal with the shit when the shit comes.
Don't deal with the shit before the shit comes.
Cause hey, the shit might never come.
I agree with that.
And more importantly, I agree with myself
because I said it first.
So I agree with me and then you agree with me.
And then, so I agree with me and then you agree with me And then so I agree with me and you which solidifies how right I am. You didn't say the thing about the shit coming
Well, I did and I really crystallized it when I did that
Okay, and I really drove it home when I did that. Hey
Stop saying that
That's obvious right so multicolored and distracting I won't. That's obvious, right? Because it's so multicolored and distracting. I won't do it.
Okay.
Great.
Next one.
Lovely.
Thanks for the show.
You guys have me in the staircase every week.
It's there.
I much appreciate it.
Anyway, I'm traveling through Manny Grease at the moment.
Beautiful place.
Loving it.
Hikes in the morning, then down to a little picturesque, idyllic village or a swim in
the afternoon to cool off.
I was in one of
these villages just the other day and it also had a really well-reviewed ice cream store.
Third, you can imagine, you know, being for a hike, sweating, just had a dip.
I get it.
Yeah, and ice cream sounds good by myself and I straight sit down, go for a lick and then I'm
just immediately overwhelmed with an intensity of bitching that I'd never quite experienced before.
To be honest, a 40-year-old dude traveling alone as well, though there was a bit of a whiff of our dodge.
The dim was the feeling of being a bitch.
To summarize, it was a net negative experience.
Any pleasure I could have derived from the ice cream was just obliterated by the totalities of how much of a bitch I
felt.
Which brings me to my question, as we're growing older and as we're maturing, should we be
trying to fight these feelings of bitch-dying?
No.
You can't dictate what I want to do.
I don't enjoy an ice cream, I'll enjoy an ice cream.
Or should we be listening to these feelings?
Are they trying to teach us something or tell us something or warn us against something
Okay, thanks again for the show fatigue. Yeah. All right. So look nobody understood what he said and I did I did I didn't
Understand anything I did how because I was just in Australia for two weeks. Okay, so break it down
I know would not have if I wasn't okay, cuz I did I'm gonna stick like 30 to 40
I know nobody at home understood this. Yeah, so great. Go ahead
He's saying that he went to go get ice cream
because he felt like he deserved it,
he was on a hike or whatever that.
So he went to get ice cream,
and then immediately when he had a lick,
he felt some bitch about it.
Okay.
And then he said he started feeling dodge about it,
which usually means to a foreign person
that their stomach is fucked up,
but I don't think that that's what he means.
So he just said the whole experience was a negative
experience even though it was getting ice cream and the ice cream was good. So
he was like, is it something that I should be like, fuck that, I want ice
cream, I need to figure out how to not feel those things or second-guess myself
or are those feelings important because they're telling him something
that maybe he needs to address and as he's getting old and then in context of that he's
maturing and becoming an older, he's becoming older now, he's not just like an 11 year old.
Dodge is gay by the way.
Oh is it?
Was he saying something about bitch? He was saying bitchness right? He's not just like an 11 year old. What dodge is gay by the way. Well is saying
Bitch he was saying bitchness right? He's bitchness and gayness, but he was saying the word bitch
He was saying so bitch. Yeah, but he's saying it very fast right okay. Yeah, cuz he was on so much coke
Yeah, he did tremendous amounts of coke before that yeah, okay, so yeah
the the thing that I was interested in was the thing he said at the very end, which is, is this something we should ignore
this feeling of I feel like I'm being some bitch
or whatever, however he said it?
Or is it something that we're trying to tell ourselves
and we should not ignore it,
we should in fact listen to it
and follow that voice's lead?
Yeah, that's pretty much what I said.
I mean, I'm not correcting you.
Oh, I thought you were.
No, no, no.
Oh, okay.
I'm saying that was the part that I watched on to the most.
Yes, yes, that's the most important part, I think.
Yeah, I think he...
I don't think that it's us trying
to tell ourselves anything.
I think that that is us.
What's weird is that when we are just going about
our days in the world,
it's like there is a cacophony of different voices
happening in our own minds.
We're talking with at least two different voices.
Should I do this?
I shouldn't do that.
But what I really want to do it because it's this and this.
Yeah, but you shouldn't do it.
It's like, well, but we're one person
What the fuck is going on if I'm one person then why does it sound like there are two people arguing in my head?
That is like Satan is a crazy person, right? So
What I think is happening in this instance though is that that voice in this instance is like some perceived
understanding of what society We believe society in this instance is like some perceived understanding
of what society, we believe society dictates
we should or shouldn't be doing. In this case, if you want a fucking ice cream,
eat a fucking ice cream.
But also here's the major thing I think.
It's, yeah, it's a bitch.
And own it.
It's okay to be a bitch.
It's a bitch to have an ice cream?
I don't agree with that.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
He's not talking about it's a bitch to have an ice cream.
He felt like he was like on the thing and sweaty,
and then he's like, oh, what am I doing?
So that's fine, but be that.
Yeah, who cares?
Yeah, exactly.
No, I agree with that, yeah. So yes, pay attention to that voice and, but be that. Yeah, who cares? Yeah, right. Exactly.
So yes, pay attention to that voice
and also own that voice.
The other thing is though,
this is something that people misunderstand all the time.
If I saw somebody doing something,
let's say that specific thing,
and I said, oh my God, it's a bitch.
I understand the instinct to be defensive about it,
but it is not an insult.
This is such a great point, man. It is not me saying like, you it is not an insult. This is such a great point, man.
It is not me saying like you're a pussy or something.
It's such a great point.
In fact, that's not at all what it is.
Yeah.
It's not even the same ballpark.
No.
And it's hard to explain and make the distinction,
but actually the difference is vast.
It's not similar.
It's not even in the same.
No, it's not.
I know.
And people, well, of course, of course they think,
no, I'm not.
Because it sounds like you're calling them a bitch right and that is not it that is
not it not what it is at all yeah um there's a certain way of doing things
it's like kind of awkward it's kind of like silly almost childlike oh I don't
know how do you even describe it basically such yes but yeah but it's not, it's not.
It's not an insult.
We, oh, put it this way.
Everyone does such shit all the time.
I do it all the time.
And when I get called, I'm just like,
oh my God, that's true.
Sneezed.
You know?
And I'm just like, wow, I really was, you know?
Okay, you know, Japanese.
Yeah, so jolly the way you left today.
That's the fun part about it though.
You can really say it in whatever way you want.
It doesn't need to be seh bitch.
In fact, I've left seh bitch way back behind me.
Now I'm just, you know?
Yep.
Now I sound like an old Japanese man.
Sometimes you just go, you know?
Yeah, and sometimes you go, eh.
Yep.
And that's it.
Sometimes you go, ah, and that's it.
Okay, you know, coming.
Busting.
A boatload of jizz.
A boatload of jizz.
I mean, you know, that term, phrase.
Boatload?
Boatload of jizz, yes.
With jizz too.
Great.
All right.
It's great.
All right, so that's, there you have it.
I'll be in
Mc
How to speak which it's all Dallas.
I forgot his name.
This go to Chris Lee.
I come in.
We got to get have new Oxnard and Bray or Oxnard and Bray
a Lifeline live show.
So go get it and go get the picture on Patreon.com slash life and luxury.
Should we go for a couple more minutes?
You want to go like this I
Don't think so
We can make a song
Wow, dude dude to play
Daddy or whatever was laying me out while I'm trying to make a song playing another song over me
and trick daddy or whatever it was. You're just fucking playing me out
while I'm trying to make a song,
playing another song over me.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Is it the Game of Thrones song?
No, no, but it sounded like it, but that's what that was.
But that leads me to another thing.
I don't like the Game of Thrones song.
And I don't like how they use it for House of Dragons
as well.
They use it in that?
Yes.
The same song?
Yes.
How rich, how rich is that composer because of that?
So rich.
I would think so, yeah, because they had to make a new deal with him for that.
Especially because it's on Amazon, right? It's not on HBO, is it?
Wait. It's on HBO. It is? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was on Amazon. What's the one on Amazon?
Is there a different one? None of them.
Is there a different one?
None of them.
I don't know what you're talking about.
There's none of them on Amazon.
This is a conspiracy.
Thank you very much.
Anthony, what am I thinking of?
I don't know.
Terrifier, Terrifier 3?
Isn't there another big ass fantasy show on Amazon?
Yeah, but it's not that.
There's a ton of fantasy shows everywhere.
The Boys is on Amazon.
That's the biggest show that I can think of.
Which one?
The Boys.
No. That's not fantasy, bro. I know, yeah. It's superhero, dude. Well that I can think of. The Boys? No.
That's not fantasy bro.
I know, yeah.
It's superhero dude.
I understand but the Terrifier 3 trailer did come out today.
Unbelievable, he says it's fantasy.
The Terrifier 3 trailer came out today?
It came out today, yeah.
What did?
We should watch it on Luxury.
What is it?
Alright, let's wrap this up then and definitely do that on Luxury right now.
What?
The Terrifier 3 trailer just came out.
Okay, perfect timing.
Okay, thanks everybody.
See you guys.
Love you, bye.