Lifeline - 122. Blank Capitol of the World
Episode Date: August 11, 2024LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Also has a full live show. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbq...jvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 Today, we're talking about how often you need to wash your towels, fighting in your extracurricular sports league, avoiding parking lot solicitations, going to sports games alone, and if you can know you won't like something without trying it. 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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["Hello"]
I'm still chewing.
Okay.
Calvin said the other day, I love sweep.
I said, yeah.
Wow.
He said, yeah.
And another thing I love like sleep.
I said, what?
He said, chewing.
Wow.
So I said, all right.
He says, I love chewing.
I love chewing.
I hate eating.
Okay.
The process of eating, figuring it out, sitting down.
Totally agree.
Loathe it. Totally agree.
By the time I'm chewing, it's amazing.
Totally agree.
Yes, dude. I totally agree.
I hate when you have to eat,
but once you're doing it, it's fine. It's interesting, huh?
I
Process of needing a meal. It's just like I'm hungry now, but I'm doing process of needing a meal
For a human why you doing that because that sounds like something Warner Hurshaw would do in a documentary
the process of eating a meal the mere human
looking at
the menu
above
the worker
Inside all of us. I just tried to remain a good soldier. I mean a good soldier of cinema
You know about Bernhardt's dog. I, what do you think I am? A chair?
It's crazy how big he's gotten when he's so old.
How long have you been aware of him?
Oh, I mean, 25 years.
Oh, okay.
So you know him just as a director?
Yeah. Oh, okay.
The process of eating a meal, the human picks a place,
the wife argues, but, the wife argues.
But then the wife says, whatever you want.
She doesn't mean it.
You pick a place, she says not.
No, you always pick that place.
Sugarfish.
That'd be great.
That documentary?
So do you, wait, I'm curious.
Do you know him from his docs
or as like a narrative film director?
Neither, both.
Have you seen his non-documentary movies?
Like what?
Oh, what are they?
I mean- Transformers?
I mean, some of them are old.
Darkness of the Moon?
The ones that matter are old,
like Fitzcarraldo, Aguirre, Wrath of God.
I mean, obviously he's in Jack Reacher.
That's so weird.
I just watched Jack Reacher last night for the first time.
Oh, he's in it.
Yeah.
So Grizzly Man, I knew about him before Grizzly Man.
So I feel like with Grizzly Man,
that was the moment it all turned for him.
It was, it was.
Where he became like a public icon.
Right, right, right, right, right.
There's crazy old footage.
He's one of the best rabbit holes on YouTube to go down.
It's pretty good.
There's a link on YouTube, you can watch him.
He lost a bet, I believe with Aero Morris,
and he literally, the bet was if he lost,
he would eat a shoe.
He eats this big leather shoe.
He boils it.
Oh, he's a crazy person.
Puts it on a plate and eats it.
It's in this like crowded restaurant. Everybody's like huddling over and the light is on the camera
and it's so hectic. He just eats the shoe. Disgusting. The human deciding what to eat.
Yeah exactly. I should not have picked a size 12. Yeah episode 1 to to 22, it's Sunday, August 11.
Happy birthday to Chris Hemsworth
and our IP Robin Williams has been 10 years.
Is that right?
That's crazy.
Poor guy, dude.
I think about that sometimes weirdly, it's weird.
Yeah, same.
Well, cause he's still everywhere, you know?
Like you see pictures and you know.
Mrs. Doubtfire, ooh, how about that Chris? No, a s a siren that was for him a siren. What do you think about that? Yeah, it was good
You know what it is. Oh
When he's got the thing on his face. Yes. Yes
I'm not everybody would know you know how you know
Is that what he says? Yeah, I just thought he said whoo. No, he says hello. Oh, he does
What you know how you know everybody knows
Oh, he does say hello. Oh man, he didn't know it, so what's good?
What?
You know how you know everybody knows what that is?
No, no, no, no, no.
Because there's the Mrs. Doubtfire,
the musical, posters up, and it says hello,
a bunch of those.
Oh my God, so wow, okay,
it must have been in the trailer then, yeah.
Whatever, man.
I mean, so dick,
I knew about that anyway. I knew you'd do it
in Warner Herzog.
I don't need a poster of a musical to tell me about,
hello from Mrs. Doubtfire, dude.
Hearing that doesn't change how crazy, well known that moment from Mrs. Doubtfire is dude. Hearing that doesn't change how crazy,
well known that moment from Mrs. Doubtfire is.
That's wild, dude.
Not for me.
Fuck off, dude.
All right, well.
You're not the man, dude.
I know, I don't think I'm the man for that.
You're not the man.
Well, you know.
You're just not the man.
You're just.
You're just.
Sign up for our Patreon, patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury.
We got new live episodes coming for the Patreon, so.com slash Lifeline Luxury. We got new live episodes coming for the Patreon.
So you're going to want to stay on that.
And also I'll be in different cities, Dallas and Wichita.
And I don't know where else, you know, Oxnard, California.
Actually, I'm getting there.
McAllen, Texas, Beaumont, Peterborough, Ontario, London, Ontario, Duluth,
Minnesota, Thunder Bay, Ontario, a bunch of different places.
Lexington, Kentucky.
I keep forgetting about that one,
and there are a bunch of places in Alabama.
Sick, dude.
Going to Canada and getting down and dirty
in the dirty South, huh?
I, yeah, you know.
You liked that, I liked it too.
So in 2006.
Oh, the dirty, dirty South, eh?
The dirty South, dude.
The dirty South.
Dirty Jersey.
Dirty Jersey is so annoying.
Sioux Falls, it doesn't even ever been there
No, Sioux Falls. Mm-hmm. No, but there's this random movie called seraphim falls
Mm-hmm and Pierce Brosnan's in it and he has an American accent and he and he says
Seraphim Falls in the way in the trailer. I think about all the time for no reason. Yeah, I love that
I love that seraphim fall. I really love that. It's cool movie
Your wife will ask you.
Terrible title.
How, where you would like to eat and you say what would you like and then she responds
with you pick and you come back a little later and you say sugarfish that is when the female will say you always pick that
place and you know it gives me a tummy ache after haha so you say well that's
why I asked you before always dying every time he talks dude he's 81 he's going good so then she says
anywhere but sugarfish so you say la las cocina and that is when she replies with
we got that last time that would be such a good documentary.
It is here where we realize the male is in the right.
Eating with the one you love would be the title, you know.
Like such a high minded title for that, you know.
To, yeah.
To Grizzly Man is wild.
To bypass this is extraordinary.
It is insurmountable.
You must be single
and go wherever you want.
Do anybody that saw grizzly man and didn't think, oh, Timothy Treadwell
obviously was going to die eventually.
Is crazy.
Most women are succubuses.
They will take you, they will steal from your soul.
Taking it into your own direction.
The thing about it is it's unbelievable.
I wonder how many people turned it off now.
Mike, the bucket?
This episode, yeah.
I think they're tuning in. By now. Chris is episode. Yeah, I think they're turning in by now
Chris is doing the murder hurts like oh my god tune in and tune in
Wow it is too bad
Society would be so advanced if it wasn't for
most
Women the way you just said most was the most you sounded like him throughout the whole thank you, but we need women
That is the kicker the kicker would never say
Beautiful in their own way
The patriarchy is probably something that has merit.
You know, putting your own thing into it.
Oh my God.
The magic mind go everywhere.
Spit out my magic mind.
Lost it poetry.
Spit out my magic mind.
That's like a cranberry song.
That's a good title.
Spit out my magic mind.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Hits it.
All right. Well, great, great, spit out my magic mind. Mm, yeah, that's a good one. Hits it. All right, well great, great, great, great, perfect.
Perfect, great, perfect.
How are the submissions this episode?
Let's get a little...
Wanna get a little taste?
I'm not gonna...
Nothing?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, remember he...
No, actually what I'll say is,
I think you guys will have fun with them.
Hell yeah.
Couldn't help myself, couldn't help myself.
You know what, I'm not gonna,
you know what, I'm gonna take myself out of it.
I'm gonna say you guys are going to have some fun.
Dude.
All right.
Well, we can do one, or we can just
talk about how I was so dizzy up until 1 PM today.
I was thinking about it.
Are you not anymore?
Night quill.
So I'm not.
What time did you take?
Oh, I am.
No, I am a little bit.
I took it 3.
Oh.
3.30.
But here's the deal.
That makes sense then.
I went to bed.
No, no.
We were watching a movie
I can't remember what we saw but went okay, uh, and then great right before we went to bed
Billy started crying so
No, no not a lot at all and if if one if if anything, it's like a whale or two like yeah
Oh, yeah, okay
But he was like crying like legit. So I was like, let's just pick him bring him in bed
We've never done that with Billy before. Well, are you nervous? Like I'll know what's I was like, let's just pick him, bring him in bed. We've never done that with Billy before.
Were you nervous?
Like, I don't know what's going on.
I was like, oh yeah.
So we bring him up, put him in bed.
He's just like this.
Oh, so he's chilling.
That looked like him.
That was so weird.
I'm his dad.
You do a good Billy impression?
Thanks.
And Warner, Warner, Herzog and Billy
are the ones that I really kill.
Your go-to?
So you guys are gonna love this one.
It's my son.
If you knew him, you'd love it.
Boo!
So I basically, we brought him in to the bed,
tried to go to bed and he was just. You nervous at all with the little, little, little thing?
Nah, because he's between us.
Yeah. And he was just like.
To you? Yeah.
What do you want?
Just attention. Oh, who knows?
Right. Yeah. And he'll go, go to sleep, go to sleep.
And then I hear like he's unzipping the seat. Oh, no.
Yeah. So funny.
And I all right.
OK, I can't fall asleep. I'm going to just go take.
I want to go. I was like, whatever I grab, I'm going to take like if it's equal
and I know we have I took it. It's not so irresponsible.
Whatever I grab brought passed out with an infant right next to passed out.
I passed out. And then I woke up at 9.30 and I was,
I felt like I was upside down.
And then-
That's a bad feeling.
And it was terrible.
I drank coffees and I still feel really weird,
but whatever.
Are you dizzy?
Yeah, I'm a little dizzy.
I'm a lot better though.
Can I quit?
Dude, very few people this happens to,
it has the exact opposite effect. It wires me so hard.
That's crazy.
Doesn't make me even a little, it does the opposite.
It doesn't, there's been probably three times or four times
that it's made me feel this way.
And obviously I've taken it more than that.
Usually it'll put me to sleep.
And then you wake up.
I wake up and I'm like, I'm okay.
I can maybe, I can be like, oh, I definitely took NyQuil, but.
I wonder it's cause you've just never ever ever really put
ever put alcohol in your body.
I never, yeah, I never, yeah, that must be what it is.
So your body just has this outsized reaction.
Yeah.
All right, well, you want to do a submission?
Sure.
All right.
So close.
Hey Chris and Matt, love the show.
Subscribe to the Patreon.
So drunk.
Really appreciate you guys for someone who's reluctant to therapy, this show does help.
Oh good.
I forgot to meet you, the couple times you've been in Iowa.
That's sick.
Cool.
I got to see you earlier this year, very cool, very very nice.
That's awesome.
My question is about towels.
Do you guys use them once?
Throw them in the hamper?
Great question.
Throw them in the dirty clothes, whatever you call it, or do you use them again? Every time I ask someone this question, I always get a different answer.
Some people think it's gross, some people use it more than twice.
Right.
What are you guys opinions on this? Love you guys. Let me know.
It's a good question.
It's a great question.
Because I do something different than what I did when I was a kid.
When you were a kid?
Well, in our house, the hand towels we would reuse.
But the shower towels or the bath towels
would always go one and done.
And now I don't do that.
I just use them all the time.
I use shower towels three times.
Yeah.
Here's the thing about this.
You are at your very cleanest.
Yeah, exactly.
When you use a towel.
Exactly.
So, I get why you would be like,
oh, I wanna wash it.
Right.
But why you would need to is insane.
It's a waste of water.
You don't need, the towels take up a lot to clean.
Like you wash two, three towels,
it's like a whole load.
Exactly. Especially if you live alone and it's just you,
that's wild.
Also, the only reason to wash a towel is if you use it
and then ball it up and throw it.
Cause then you can get mildew and it can kind of gross.
I'll do that if I do that.
You hang it up.
If you hang up the towel, it dries in an hour and it's fine.
In fact, it's as fine as a thing could be,
as a used thing could be.
It's just, you're as clean as possible.
All you have is water on you.
You dry yourself off, hang up the towel, it dries off.
That's it, use it again.
Yeah, you're very cleanest and it's just water.
Yeah, and if you don't use it again,
you're wasting water.
You're wasting precious resources.
Water.
I wish it was,
Fowdy.
No, you know what I'm doing?
Not that.
You have George Brett.
Nope.
You're not doing George Brett?
Nope.
Water down my leg.
Wow, there's three waters that we have.
What's the other water?
We have three water.
What's...
That's incredible.
Do you know what I'm doing?
You thought it was George Brett for sure? You thought it was George Brett.
I thought it was George Brett.
No, we have another one.
And I think I've told you to.
Uncle Vinny.
When I don't even know this.
When he was talking about what he drinks.
I used to drink, you know, I used to drink soda all the time, you know, and I don't drink
it anymore.
I'm older and you know, it's easier to gain weight.
I said, so, so what do you drink then?
And he says, water. And I said, oh, so so what do you drink then? And he says water.
And I said oh well what if you drink when you're not drinking water? And he said water. Oh that's so
him. So him dude. Wow good for him. Water. Dude that's so something he would think is funny dude.
Have you heard you do you recollect that or no? No. OK, all right. Yeah, dude, he's coming soon.
I know he's coming real soon.
And you know, I have for him water.
He's I'm going to bring it up next time.
He won't remember.
He'll what he'll do is he'll sit and listen.
The pause after you tell him will be too long.
And then he'll laugh hard.
The pause after I asked him what he drank,
if he didn't drink water was too long. Yeah pause after I asked him what he drank, if he didn't drink water, was too long.
Yeah, yeah, it's what he does.
The Lea's do that, well, especially dad and his brothers.
It's crazy.
I was just talking, you were there,
we were talking to dad about how he answers questions.
Oh God, dude.
It's like...
It's unbelievable.
Have you...
It's hard to even explain, because it's so... It's hard to even explain because it's so...
It is hard.
I...
Here's what it...
He'll be like...
Well, it's not even just answering questions.
He'll be like, I love...
The Godfather is my favorite movie.
And you'll be like, oh man,
Coppola does great movies.
He had a great early on in his career.
And he started making some weird ones.
What other movies do you think are like fantastic from Coppola?
And he will literally say.
The Godfather is my favorite.
Yes, yes, that's exactly one version.
And you're like, well, that's not what I asked.
And we covered this.
Also, another version is how you remember you took that drive up the coast
at one time. What was that like when you went on that drive?
And he'll say, yeah, I took that drive.
Oh, there you go. You're just.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the kind of thing where if it's such a specific thing that if
if we didn't,
if somebody just started doing that in their life
and was 30, you'd be like, oh, what happened to this guy?
But he's been doing it all the time.
And it's like, he's like, no, we'll talk about
what it is that I'm talking about.
I guess.
But it doesn't, it's not the vibe.
It seems like a flex or a power move.
It's not. It just has a unique or a power It's not it just has a unique. I know really an interesting thing. His brain is this like a special brain
He just yeah answers that way. It's part of what makes him so funny. Yeah for sure. Um, alright, let's do another submission
What's up Chris today, I have a question regarding the workplace microwave etiquette
So today I walked into the break room trying to heat up my lunch and I saw that somebody
was already using the microwave.
No big deal.
However, they had had the timer set for about four minutes, I think, and nobody was in the
room waiting for their food to be done in the microwave.
Anyways, their timer goes off and a minute goes by and another minute goes by.
A third minute goes by and still nobody's coming to pick up their
food take it out so my question is at what point do i take their food out of the microwave then
and put my own food in in my opinion that's never because people don't want other people touching
their food however it feels crazy to me that you're going to set the timer and then walk out of the
room as if you're the only person that works in this office. Yeah, it's not just one person that does it
It's multiple people so there's not really something I can say to a specific person
But it just puts me in an uncomfortable situation every time that it happens and it's happened multiple times
That's a good question. Hopefully you can help me out. Thanks. I wouldn't care if someone moved mine. Well, here's not all it's one thing
They set the timer walk away
But you have to set a timer yourself to come back and make sure you come back within a minute of it being done.
A minute, a minute max.
If you wait longer than two minutes, you're crazy.
That's coming out.
I'm eating, it's mine now.
I'm eating it.
Dude, that's mine.
No, I know.
Take it out, put it next to it.
It's like, you're not out to touch other people's food.
No, of course.
You're just out to use the microwave. 100%. So take it out, put it on top of the microwave or next to it, it's like, you're not out to touch other people's food. You're just out to use the microwave. So take it out, put it on top of the microwave
or next to it, wherever is convenient.
But like, you have every right.
Dude, if somebody was like after five minutes,
like what did you touch my food?
Five?
What did you touch my food?
You'd have every right to be like,
what do you mean did I touch your food?
I needed to use the microwave.
Of course I touched your food.
No, I needed to use the communal microwave.
That's what I did.
And in doing that, I had to touch your food.
Yes.
But also, you can just, like, the touching the food thing
is weird.
I get it if you're like, and you stick your finger
in someone's bowl of pasta.
But like, there's so many ways of handling it
without breathing on it.
And I don't want people fucking with my shit. You touch the plate.
You don't touch it. Yeah, of course. Yeah. No, it's not a big deal to me at all.
On the short ribs and then just like slide it with the plate. Yeah.
You just grab the fucking plate.
It's like this and then you slide it off. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, let me get the rest. And then, um, I, yeah, I don't,
I think that's really weird. I, not jump to it if it went off,
if nobody was in the room and went boop,
I'd wait for a little bit.
If you needed to use it.
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Yeah. Yeah.
How long though is the question?
Well, I, you know, I mean, this is something I would do.
I don't, I think most people wouldn't do this,
but I would walk out and be like,
hey, who's using the microwave?
Yeah. I'm gonna use it. Can I take your food out or do you wanna do it? Do it less dick than that? No, I would do out and be like, hey, who's using the microwave? Yeah.
I'm gonna use it.
Can I take your food out or do you wanna do it?
Do it less dick than that?
No, I would do it less.
I would do it less dick than that.
I would do it like, I would like start it with this, you know,
guys, you know, like a sink.
It depends on where you work too,
but if it's just any normal office,
that's not improper etiquette where you just do it.
That's totally normal.
I would do it nicer.
In fact, that's respectful to say,
hey, is somebody, you're letting them know
they're things done.
I mean, I put things in the microwave
and then walked away and forgotten.
Not me, I have a brain.
Because something comes up that is more important
and then you get distracted.
And then all of a sudden it's three, four, five minutes later
and you're like, oh.
Yeah, no, I've never done that.
Okay, I bet you have, but yeah.
No, I've never forgotten something
that was in the microwave. With a coffee, nothing ever? Yes, you have. Nope. Yes, you have. No, I'm telling you right now, that've never done that. Okay, I bet you have, but yeah. No, I've never forgotten something. It was in the microwave. With a coffee, nothing ever?
Yes, you have.
Nope.
Yes, you have.
No, I'm telling you right now, that's never happened.
I decided that you have though, so.
It's okay, because I already decided that it didn't, so.
Oh, okay.
Well, yeah.
Do women will try to control your life?
Take it out.
I would say don't let her,
but there's nothing you can do.
Okay, sleeper.
Once they've got their hooks in, you're fucked.
Let's go.
I'm Adam Chris.
Hey.
Zach here.
Yeah, I know you.
Playing Play-Doh.
He was a guest on the Private Record.
My daughter.
You might recognize me from my work on a podcast
called The Private Recordrecker. I'm the guy
that wrecked a truck into a river working on Yellowstone. A frozen river. I have something
that annoys me that I wanted to ask you guys about and see how much this annoys you. My wife
is a quarter Mexican. That's it. That's what it annoys me. But she's very white Mexican and she
speaks kind of like a valley girl
She kind of sounds like a valley girl when she talks but when her family's around or her Mexican family is around
She has a couple trigger words that turn very Mexican. Yeah one being
Cilantro she'll say cilantro normal, but then she'll go cilantro. Yeah, or
Instead of tortilla should go th like tortilla or something like that
she does that in front of like her Mexican family but then talks normal
rest of the time she has like five or six of these that she does and she never
does it ever unless they're around and it drives me crazy I don't even know what
to say to it I'm like are you are you married to Alec Baldwin or something
what's going on yeah how can I, do I just ignore it?
Why would you guys do a situation?
You talk factual like that.
Because it annoys me a lot.
So I'd like to see what you guys have to say about it.
Okay.
Thank you.
Love you guys.
Another good question.
Cute daughter by the way.
Really sweet looking daughter.
Dude, I...
Ah, but yes, of course.
I will get the cilantro and tortilla. Dude, honestly, but yes, of course I will get the cilantro and tortilla.
Dude, honestly, that is it's so funny because like, you know how like the influx of like Latin X
in the media and like how like it's like, yeah, celebrate your heritage, you know, and in the 90s,
it was not like that. Like they were all changing their names to like white last names in media.
Well, not just the 90s, all the way up to the 90s.
Yeah, I know. I'm saying in our lifetime.
And so, um, and now they're like,
like I've seen people change their names from the white one they picked to now.
They're like, go back. Yeah.
Or something, you know, or it's like, do you know I've seen women like,
you know I'm actually like a quarter this and like,
then they just, not that they're not,
but they're like overdue, it's like, all right, you know.
If you're 30 and you made it white the whole time.
But dude, the.
And now you're just like,
oh wow, I'm swimming in this pool, like.
But in those cases, there's an incentive. In Hollywood, you're more likely to get cast. I know, I'm swimming in this pool. But in those cases, there's an incentive.
In Hollywood, you're more likely to get cast.
I know, I know.
I know a dude who never worked,
and then suddenly he was constantly working.
And obviously he didn't change how good he was,
but he's fully Mexican, has a Mexican last name,
but does not look Mexican.
But just because of his last name being what it is,
people can be like, he's our diversity hire.
Well, he did nothing.
He didn't do anything.
That's okay.
That's nothing.
And he didn't do anything.
That's great for him.
He did nothing, yeah.
That's letting the time changes around you.
But dude, I mean, there's so many,
even comedians like,
it's like, oh, you know, I'm actually,
it's like, dude, for 35 fucking years. If there's one thing it doesn't apply to is comedy.
And I know no one should give a shit.
No, totally. But just stand up.
Nobody should give a shit.
It's like now. Now you say Tijuana now
after you've been like Tijuana the whole time now.
Well, you're saying they change the way they talk. Oh, yeah.
Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, that's weird. How really? Oh yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's weird.
How inauthentic.
Yeah.
This though is a, I think with this is way more natural
and understandable.
Yeah, for sure.
She's around her family.
100%.
They talk a certain way.
Absolutely.
It's like, mom, she has a Jersey accent,
but when she's with her Jersey family,
it's like, she's like fucking Carmela Soprano.
That's forgivable for sure.
Yeah.
If it's your family, like even even us when we're around Uncle Vinny
and Dad and Uncle Richard, like we'll be more like.
Hey, forget about it.
Not exactly, but.
Hey you guys, come sit down over here.
Who's getting whacked today?
Suck my fucking balls.
Incestual.
Suck on my fucking bolts.
Bolts.
Incestuous.
All right.
Yeah, no, I think.
Yeah, I think it's okay.
I think though, if it bothers you,
just bring it up with her and be smiling
because it's funny to be annoyed by that.
Hey, why do you fucking do that?
Well. Look.
Ha ha ha.
Dude, Josh Hartnett and Trapp.
Did you watch it?
No, I just, the trailer.
How do you know he does that?
Oh my God. He does it the whole movie, he's so good at No, I just the trailer. How do you know he does that? Oh my God.
He does the whole movie. He's so good at it.
I saw the trailer.
I saw the movie and he does.
I think that's even more than just in the trailer.
So you knew that I did not know that.
OK, he's that choice he made is great.
He's awesome.
I I never knew that, honestly.
He's been serviceable.
Always has also been gone. So why?
He says because he started to get weird
about how famous he was, or not how famous,
how people specifically were reacting to him in the world.
He was like, I recently read him saying something like this
where he was like, I began to be this thing
that was made me feel really weird and bad.
And what I think what he tried to do was shift
into acting into weird or smaller stuff,
but then nobody gave a shit.
They were like, well, who cares about Josh Hartnett
being in like some Indie where he's like a weirdo.
We don't want that.
We want him to be like the hottest guy in the world.
Cause he is.
He's all right.
And well now he's just like a regular handsome guy.
But back in the day, like in version suicide he's just like a regular handsome guy. Yeah Like inversion suicide. There's a joke
No, he's a handsome dude. Yeah, sure. Um, I'm joking. He is handsome, but no he was great. That's weird though
What about the money though, you know, I think the money was uh, probably sorely missed when he stopped working
Superman
What oh you didn't know that? Yeah, he turned down the role of Superman.
Henry Cavill one?
No, no, before that.
Brandon Routh.
No, you know what?
I think it might've been the one that Cage was gonna do.
Like way, way, way back.
Like early autism.
No, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Yeah. Whoa.
Crazy, right?
Anyway, it was the best he's ever been in trap.
I believe that.
But I dated a girl once that we went to,
we were in Florida visiting her family
in North of Florida, where it's the South, you know, kind of.
It's not like-
Oh, I was so confused.
I know, but North of Florida or South Florida?
The South Florida is Miami and so multicultural.
North Florida is the South.
Oh, I get you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so she just started, we were at a Walthouse
and she was talking to the waitress.
She just started talking like this.
And I was like, and I was waiting for the joke.
She looked at me like, what are you doing?
And she's like, what?
And I was like, you're talking in a Southern accent.
She's like, I am?
Yeah, no, that's the other thing.
We broke up.
People definitely don't know they're doing it.
Yeah, but she, she's not from the South, so.
Further to my point, she didn't,
has no reason to talk that way,
and yet she was doing it and didn't even realize it.
She might've realized it and was trying to trick me.
What I'm gonna say is gonna piss him off so much.
What?
American South and English proper are very similar accents. Oh so?
Unbelievably mad. Well, you know, it doesn't matter because we could. It is a lot like
well you know it doesn't matter because we could. Totally different. I know in our
minds they're different but they do really they're very
Honestly, I don't even really care about it see that's that's being mad though. That's all good. Oh
All right good you know you're three for three Marco you were right dude, they're good so far
No pressure. I clean the lens amen Chris in a cloud Joe here I play hockey in a uh no contact beer league.
It's a lot of fun. Been playing ever since I was a kid.
Clean it.
Um.
Clean it?
However this is-
How could you-
There's this one guy.
What?
Clean it.
On uh one of the hockey teams.
Oh he's the guy himself!
Go back a little bit.
Go back a little bit.
Uh.
Hey can't-
He fucked his girl.
He is fucking his girl.
Hated out with him.
Uh huh.
Oops.
Told him not to do it anymore.
Right.
Said, okay, I promise I won't do it.
Hey man, Chris.
And he knows he's doing stuff.
Joe here.
Right now.
I play hockey in a no-contact beer league.
It's a lot of fun.
Been playing ever since I was a kid.
Right here.
Yeah.
However, this is, there's this one guy on one of the hockey teams.
It's that one.
And he Please really physical
He punched me in the face last game gets into it with a lot of guys
Question is
Should I give him a little open-eyes hit knock him down put him in his place or should we just get even on the scoreboard?
And take the W. Let me know what you guys think. I love the podcast
Stay school, boys.
No, wait a minute.
Oh, clean your lens.
Just immediately.
Nice, hi, yeah.
See that?
In heaven, in heaven, in heaven.
See, yeah, died.
See that as you're submitting it
and think a thing you didn't think,
which is, oh my God, this is so terrible looking.
I have to not only redo it,
but before I do, I gotta clean my lens.
That's so-
This is so-
Only a man would send a video with that hazy.
That is crazy.
It's like you just rubbed Vaseline on the lens.
It's like he did it on purpose.
He's like this, I gotta make a video for Lifeline.
Yeah.
Hey guys, big fan of the show.
But I guess to answer your question,
obviously don't punch him, but he's punching,
he punches him, he said.
If someone punches you, you punch back.
But you don't punch back like later.
Oh, I do. You punch it back right then.
I go years later.
Ding dong, hello, hey, how's it going?
I don't know if you remember, but what, who's this?
Ding dong, you know?
Yeah. I'm confused
at this series of events, but I get it.
But I was in an adult baseball league, this was a while ago,
and I was pitching.
The catcher came up to me after an inning and said,
hey, when I stole second base last inning,
the shortstop, stepped, stomped on me with his cleats.
Okay. And I was like, oh, that sucks. That me with his cleats. Okay.
And I was like, oh, that sucks.
That's happened to me, that hurts.
And he was like, no, no, no.
Next time he comes up, we're gonna bean him.
We're gonna hit him with the pitch.
And I was like, dude, do I look like Don Drysdale?
Yeah.
Like what?
Don Drysdale?
I'm not Aaron Nola, dude.
I'm not Aaron Nola in the major leagues.
I'm Zachary's Lee.
I'm going to go back home and open my computer and like do my regular job.
I'm going to open my computer when I go home, do my regular job.
So I pitch when you started.
Do my do. I might turn on PornHub.
My point is I know people like this.
Masterbate.
And I've experienced being on a team with,
it's mind-boggling.
To interracial porn.
How people get about a thing that just
couldn't matter less.
It could not possibly matter less.
Beautiful Boriqua.
You know? Yeah.
Caked up. So I would say, if you don't hit him back, punch know, yeah, caked up.
So I would say if you don't hit him back, punch him back in the face right away. If you don't do that, just take to the scoreboard.
Don't worry about like getting him back physically.
If you don't do it right away, you got to do things right away.
Do you don't believe deep and you sported?
Oh, wow.
Um, um, remember, uh, when Tom Brenneman got fired?
That's who you sound like.
Is it?
F***ing capital of the world.
Okay, well gotta leave that out.
I mean, I'm just saying what he said.
I know, I know.
He just got a new job.
Did you see that?
Where?
Doing what?
KKK.
Okay, Grand Wizard.
What?
Hoodmaker for the KKK.
Hold on. They're all done. Here you go. Come with nothing on your head What? Hoodmaker for the KKK.
They're all done. Here you go.
Come with nothing on your head
and I'll make sure that they fit.
And he puts it on and he goes like this, side retired.
Tom Brenneman with a TH.
He's going to the CW for four years.
To do what though?
Oh, fucking.
One Tree Hill coming up to bat.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Smallville, the pitch from Smallville. One Tree Hill coming up to bat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Gotta let people back in their room, even though what he said was truly, like so crazy to say ever, let alone near a microphone.
F***ing capital of the world. Leap it out.
The Wayans up at bat,
all of the Wayans have worked for the CW or UPN.
So wait, this is a real question.
If he said it, am I not allowed to repeat it?
Well, I think it's okay because it's context matters.
Of course I'm not asking what you think.
Context matters.
In the world, me saying it, does it need to be bleached?
A teacher has been fired for saying you can't say.
Yeah, no, I know, I know, I know.
But this thing, this specific thing.
I think...
Yeah?
Oh, wait guys, hold on, here comes Anthony.
I think it's something you can get in trouble for,
because if you said the N-word
and then you said the N-word, then it's just, you know.
Absolutely.
Well, the N-word is a whole different thing,
as I believe it should be.
This is different.
No, there are people that would say,
yes, you cannot say that.
Okay, then bleep it.
Then obviously bleep it.
I just thought there's no way.
I think it messes with the YouTube.
There's AI picks it up.
That's for starters.
It just wouldn't.
OK, then bleep it.
His voice is so funny though.
I know, I know.
I know.
Cassianos.
Yeah.
Back, back and gone, And he lives in the.
Blank capital of the world.
Blank capital of the world.
Here we are with the Giants.
Notable blank capital.
So many blanks coming around and just busy
and up the city, a lot of blanks in cars, blanks walking around.
Look at this blank parade.
Blank with each other. Seems like every day is a parade. Blank parade. Just kind of walking around. Look at this blank parade coming. Blank with each other. It seems
like every day is a parade. Blank parade just kind of walking around. Hate to see what the
parade are like. Swing and miss. What if he got away with it like by the skin of his teeth?
Almost got fired and then the next day he goes on and starts doing that like just on the thinnest
ice you know pushing it so hard. Here we go we've've got Barry Bonds up right now, swinging a miss, strike one.
Don Drysdale bringing the heat, the blank capital of the world.
There are 52,000 in attendance
right now at Giant Stadium, swinging a miss strike two.
A lot of them blanks.
A lot of them blanks.
A lot of them blanks, some of them secret blanks,
married and have kids ball one,
but still nonetheless closeted blanks.
Dude, remember when Lou Piniello got fired for making a comment about Mexicans
about how he was like, he's Mexican, be careful, don't let him, and he made a joke
about not letting him like get close enough
to pickpocket you.
That's so bad.
But here's the thing that made it all even messier.
Lou Penela is Mexican.
So he was making a racist joke about Mexicans
while being a Mexican.
That didn't save him nor, I mean, that's such a bad,
that is like a racist joke.
You know what I'm saying?
But it's his race though, it's confusing.
Right, right, it is confusing.
And then also, let's say, look, there are racist jokes.
Oh wait, no, oh, oh, oh, oh no, it was Steve Lyons who,
oh right, I got it wrong, I got it wrong.
Oh, okay.
He said it to Lupinella.
Okay, got it. Wow, I it wrong. OK. He said it to Lupinella. OK, got it.
Well, I remember that Steve Lyons.
And I remember that was on Lupinella.
Lupinella said, hey, dog, you kidding me?
Lupinella was the one.
Like, is he making a joke to a friend?
100 percent. Yeah. OK.
He was making a joke about him.
Obviously don't do that on television.
Yeah. And I think no, this is what it was.
It got construed as racist because he's mexican
oh so it wasn't even him being no oh so he was just making a pit pocket joke i believe so yeah see
that sucks when because sometimes right now it's the left the left is so racist that they make it
racist when it wasn't racist do you know what i'm saying you're saying we presume it was racist and therefore make it worse exactly if you presume it's racist when it's not racist. Do you know what I'm saying? For instance.
You're saying we presume it was racist
and therefore make it worse.
Exactly, if you presume it's racist when it's not racist,
then you're the racist.
This is, what's weird about this is that it's MLB.
Well.
They don't have a political position.
No, here's the thing.
Zach Braff once during the,
some music, like the, what, the, the,
Emmy's?
Grammys?
What is it?
The Grammys.
Pharrell came out in an outfit that looked like
what the monkey bellhop wore in a movie.
The monkey bellhop wore?
And it was a monkey bellhop, okay?
And then Zach Braff tweeted,
nice outfit Pharrell, look right there.
The monkey, oh, whatever, not the bellhop,
but like, look, look, it looks like.
Got it, okay.
I can't make it so we can see it.
I don't remember this.
But yeah.
At all.
But so he's dressed in the same way.
And it's like, he didn't do that because he's racist.
He did that because he dressed the same.
And people were like, wow.
And then Zach Braff tweeted like, oh man, this is so dumb.
I didn't even realize like, obviously.
Oh, so he said.
And it's like obvious he didn't mean it like that.
Something about him being a monkey.
No, but he obviously meant, look at the outfit.
It's like Pharrell goaded people into doing it.
I get it, but what did he say is all I'm wondering.
I don't know.
He said who wore it better.
Yeah.
Showed two pictures.
Oh, it was a tweet.
Yeah.
Got it.
Oh, oh.
Yeah.
That's so clear.
He wasn't like, look at this monkey.
Right.
I thought you meant he said it live during the show
No, no, no, no, he tweeted it and of course he didn't mean to be racist. Look at the outfit
Yeah, weird, huh? Pharrell's for even for up with him. He's like, let's see what what white person fucks up
Did Pharrell have anything to say about it put on that
The ones as Tourette's did he Did Pharrell have anything to say about it? Put on that. The buttons.
As Tourette's. Did he?
Did Pharrell say anything?
No, I don't think so.
Or was he just like not even?
Well, dude, if Pharrell would ever answer that,
Zach Braff is hilarious.
It just feels like, oh, if it were not for him,
Pharrell claps back to Zach Braff after these messages.
I would imagine Pharrell would be like, you guys chill out.
He obviously was making fun of the other.
I know, but I'm saying for him to even register publicly is hilarious. I just didn't know how big of a drill
Is that who?
We're talking about one more of these. Oh, yeah, the Kelly Osborne one on the view. Have you seen that?
No, yeah, the way she acts afterwards. What is this? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?
Let's just play it. Okay
Fine luxury style thing you will do it if you want to sign up for life and lecture This is the stuff we do on life and luxury. No, it Lifeline luxury style thing, but we'll do it.
If you want to sign up for Lifeline Luxury, this is the stuff we do on Lifeline Luxury.
It's very funny, but we don't normally do it on Lifeline Luxury.
Get a little taste.
Yeah.
Patreon.com, sign up for Lifeline Luxury.
But this kind of-
It's going so fast, nobody knows what it's in.
Remember, this is a microtease on tape.
The way she acts afterwards is so gangster.
If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet
toilet? Oh! Oh!
Oh, I'm trying to back walk it so hard.
That's crazy. I mean, it's actually so David Brent. I think what you're saying is that Trump himself probably realized that a lot of these people that he's installed...
That's crazy.
I mean, it's actually so David Brent.
That is...
Yeah.
I mean, the immediate...
It's crazy how quickly she realizes she fucked up.
She did a good job, actually.
Did she?
I think she did.
She does...
She does not look...
like...
Uh-oh.
It looks like she's like,
Alright, I know what you're gonna do. This is how I meant it she should have slowed down though like she's
doesn't stop talking she that was one of the best examples of just powering
through it I think well honestly yeah she got did she get fired or what I don't
know what happened was she even a host or a guest it's weird because if you
said that as a joke you could get away with it, but she I don't know if she tried to
I'm not sound like it, but I mean something like Eric Griffin would fucking say that
Getting Eric Griffin in trouble yeah, what if you could do that like
Say you know who would say that and then say someone and then they get canceled for not even ever saying we're a step away from that
That's fucking hilarious
That would be amazing in a satire actually.
That would be funny dude.
That'd be so funny.
Everybody gets canceled everywhere always.
You're getting canceled, why?
Cause you would say something like this.
Yeah.
Because no, because so and so said
you would say something like this.
Yeah, that's good.
That's funny.
But he said it.
Okay, go ahead.
Next one.
Cute.
Hi again.
Wow.
I do have one more question for you.
There was no question
Do you guys like when Chris Kristen or Matt a girlfriend of yours?
Where's your clothes around the house like t-shirts or hoodies or something? Yeah, I love wearing my husband's cuz I'm just so comfy
But I'm sure there are guys out there that don't love that. So let me know your thoughts and Chris
I didn't get to say this last time but my husband and I got to go to your show in Columbus when I was super pregnant with this crazy lady.
And we loved it. And he's not a huge fan of standup comedy in general, but he was laughing
the whole time.
Oh, awesome. I love hearing that. That's cool. Thank you. Um, I have a take on this for sure.
100%. Uh, it's, it's very cute. I love it. And Kristen always picks the thing I have
been saving to wear
Like on a Friday night got it. I'm just like, oh you weren't okay. Well, okay
Let me go a little further with that every guy
Likes that yeah every guy that they're the only time a guy might not like that and I don't I'm just like I
Don't know. I love this is popping in my head. But if a guy was like insecure about how something smelled,
I could see them being like, oh, but dude,
every guy likes that.
When their girlfriend wears their clothing,
they like to see it like, it feels like they're-
Well, it's super cute.
It's cute, it's too big on them usually.
Right, right, right.
And it feels, there's like a closeness
that it sort of evokes.
I don't think there's any guy that would be like,
get that off.
I mean, really going for it, you know?
There might be a guy.
That guy would be so weird though.
Get my fucking shirt off, get my shirt.
Who would be...
Get my pants, get my hat, get it off,
get my socks off and you're wearing my underwear.
Why are you dressing like me?
Why is she wearing all of his clothing?
That would be a little weird.
Yeah, I like it, I love it.
Even when she does pick the thing that I was gonna wear,
I'm like, ah, she looks so cute.
Thank you.
I appreciate that, okay.
Yeah, no, everybody likes that.
I love how her first question
Yeah, we'll never know what it was. You just nixed it dude. Was it just that's fine? No, no He just he picked the one he wanted to pick. I get it. Okay, I'm jumping in her throat. No she
Uh sent something another week. Got it. So she oh, oh she explains. Sorry. I I get it
So doesn't want him to say I get it and
All right. Uh, no she
He didn't we didn't use the first question
that she ever submitted.
And then she said, hey, another question.
Oh!
No, that's not it either.
That's it, that's it.
See, you didn't even know.
No matter what happened, that's it.
She was on the show before
and she went on to explain something
that I thought was like kind of immaterial
or like didn't matter.
Well, who are you, God?
Who died and named you fucking King?
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do it.
Jesus is a King.
All right, next one.
All right, so spin move question.
Swallows are.
People with vests and clipboards and areas.
Wrapping.
That you just wanna hang out,
you wanna get a coffee. Wrapping.
But they're always in your way.
Wrapping! What is he saying?
And they're always fake complimenting you like,
Hey, I like your glasses. Would you like to end world hunger?
Or would you like to see a picture of a dog where you can see the ribs?
You know what I mean? And you're just like, I just want to get my coffee.
Excuse me sir, would you like to see a picture of a dog who can see his ribs?
And you're like, but I also like, I can barely afford my coffee,
so I don't know if I'm the best person to be asking right so much
Yeah, spin move mentality right like what can we do? I I don't know you tell me no judo shit
Also, this is my impression of crystalline
Guys love you. What do you think about that? What did he do? Christopher Walken doing Kramer.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah.
What do you think about, how did it make you feel
when you saw him do it?
It was okay.
It takes a lot to make me feel fucking weird now, dude.
Because-
That made me feel really weird.
I get it.
But, I mean, how much awkwardness I've dealt with
in my life is just so...
That was crazy though, because now everyone who wants to see that can see that because
it's in the world.
That's different.
I get that.
Why do you think he did it?
He's just being silly.
He just wanted to be silly.
He's just like, I don't care.
I'm going to be silly.
You think so?
You asked me and that's what I think.
It seemed like maybe that was the whole reason he did the submission.
No, I don't think so
No, I don't think so
Okay
What was the question?
The people who like Greenpeace people who like we want to make you sign up for I just look at them before they finish it
Ending their sentence and I just say sorry and I keep moving
Sorry, cuz or sometimes you're like, which one do I pick? Like are you? Excuse me? Are you registered to vote? You're like, which one do I pick? Excuse me, are you registered to vote?
You're like, which one do I pick so they can't talk to me?
Yes, and they're like, ooh, okay, nevermind.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes, and they're like, good,
because we're getting people to, oh, fuck, I fucked up.
No, you know what, I forgot, I didn't do it, and I just.
I do the same thing every single time,
and it works every single time.
What?
The best one is, I have the best one, go ahead.
And just walk past it like this?
I want it even better.
If they come up to you while you're on the phone,
you have every right to be like,
I'm sorry, I'm on the phone, what are you doing?
And they have no choice but to be like, oh, I'm sorry.
Because to do anything else would be to be so fucking rude.
Right.
You don't bring the phone up to your ear.
You don't have anything in your hands.
OK. You don't have any ear pods in or air pods or anything. Yeah.
And you look at them and you say, I'm sorry, I'm on the phone.
That you know, I'm going to do the next.
Sorry, I'm on the phone.
That would work. And honestly, they wouldn't be like, oh, what a crazy guy.
They would think they don't see the thing.
If you say it right.
Yeah.
I mean, if you go like this, sorry, on the phone.
They might think you're crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, then it wouldn't matter what you said.
They would think you're crazy.
You'd be like, who are you talking to, the Smurfs?
All right.
But yeah, that was a really weird impression
that you did at the end, just to be clear.
Me?
No, him.
Yeah, it was, what would you rate it out of 10?
Oh, two.
Two, and he only gets two points
because those are things you say.
The actual quality of the impression he did of you
was zero.
True, true.
Absolute, couldn't have been-
The Simon Cowell of rating my impressions.
Couldn't have been less like you
Okay, that's it you would know you're my brother. Yeah, that was terrible fucking awful. I mean, you know going so absolutely terrible
What he did and he should be ashamed enough self. Okay
Crucify him the man. My name is Nathan big love from New Zealand
I've been a fan of you Chris since like they won this guy's question picky eaters
So my wife she doesn't like to try anything really, even
if she hasn't tried it before. I'm a tryer, so I'll try anything. If I haven't tried something
in six months, I'll try it again. Maybe I'll like it now. So I'll say to my wife, hey,
try this thing. She's never tried it before. She'll look at it and she'll say, no, I don't
think I'll like that. So do you think that you have to try something first before you
can say you don't like it like a food or do you think that you have to try something first before you can say
You don't like it like a food or do you think that you can look at something and what decide just by looking at it? And making a judgment with you like what a great question
Shanti the answers the answer is if you were just to answer this question the answer is no, okay, however
That's not true. Isn't that interesting?
Wait, what that that what you said is more confusing than what he said. I know it's confusing, but it's not true. Isn't that interesting? Wait, what? That what you said is more confusing than what he said.
I know it's confusing, but it's still true.
Explain it thoroughly.
Can you know if you like something before you try it?
The answer is no. The answer is no. However, that's not true.
Well, then that's not the answer. Do you know?
I'm a philosopher in a way because it's like I'm very smart and I thought of an interesting way to say it and I
Just did it and you're impressed. He's impressed. He's impressed and everyone who heard it in YouTube is impressed
It's the wrong way to say it, but I get what you're saying
It's the answer is not
Flatly no, I don't think okay. I think there are some if you've lived long enough there are ways to very very
Almost exactly, but maybe not exactly
But very closely approximate how you will
Be likely to feel about something. Yes before you try. Okay, so I had a
Guy get I was talking to gay in
We were having a conversation in Montreal, okay?
Actually, this is the gayest thing of all time.
So funny you say that.
But we were talking about being gay, okay?
Me and a guy, we were talking about being gay.
Is a guy you're friends with?
Yes, like at least friendly with, right?
And the conversation was just like what it's.
It's just like, hey, you know, I don't even really know.
Okay.
But that's how it started, I know,
because then the third guy joined the conversation.
He was Australian, and he said,
oh, you know what it was?
It was, we were talking about exactly what this guy's saying.
Do you have to have, oh, oh, oh, no.
Wow. I don't know if you're, it was like, yeah, maybe you don't know if you're gay or not, you know? It was like one have to have, oh, oh, oh, no. Wow.
I don't know if you're, it was like, yeah.
Maybe you don't know if you're gay or not.
You know, it was like one of those things.
It was like, oh, maybe you don't know if you're gay or not.
And the third guy comes in the conversation, he says,
oh, mate, I don't know.
He's like, oh, I know, I'm not gay.
And we were like, it was so definitive
that we were like, what?
How, yeah.
Who the fuck says that like that? Yeah, right. And he says and he says so I said to him I said how do you know I think I
know and he says my when I was a kid I was like really young in my 20s I tried
gay sex I just had sex with my buddy and let me tell you, not for me. Wow.
And I was like, not for me either.
And I've never done that.
But how do you know?
Exactly.
But I know.
I know as I'm saying, both are true.
Both are true.
It's not true and that's not true.
But I think.
I know philosopher.
He's impressed, he's impressed.
Anthony's going to take a shit right now
and he's impressed.
Ha ha ha.
But I still think if we're being philosophers about it,
in a very absolute way,
there's as much as you can approximate how you feel.
There's no way, there is no way to truly know.
So to say no is not untrue.
It is in fact true.
It just is like so absolutist about it
to almost suck out meaning from it.
So suck out meaning from the penis.
So it's almost like to suck out juice.
So it is not true and then that is not true.
That's amazing.
That is so not amazing and it's so annoying that you think it's amazing.
The way I'm saying it makes it so much fucking cooler.
The way you're saying it is just not the boss way to say it.
But I'm saying a different thing though.
The boss way to say it is no, and also that's not true, what I just said.
No? In that case, no is not true.
Yes. No. And that no is not true.
So why would you say no, then?
No is to the no, that's not true.
You can say it like that too.
Why are you doing the no at all if it's not true?
Why answer with an answer that...
Why respond with an answer that you're just about to follow up with
admitting that it's not true? Now there's what there is in what lies the philosophy.
No idea what you want to say.
But what do you mean?
Not for me. Blasted inside him, not for me. Pulled out Bukaki all over him and his guy friends,
not for me.
Bukaki, you know? Michael Bukaki. all over him and his guy friends. Not for me. Bukkake, you know?
Michael Bukkake.
Remember Dukakis?
Yes.
Yeah.
80s.
Nice.
Let's say cheese.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
What was he, the thing he was talking about was heaters?
Food.
Oh.
Heaters.
Why did I think heaters?
Food is, no, you can't do it with food, dude
You can't you don't ever know what you never know with the food. I mean look I tried oyster or not oyster
Octopus for the first time and I was like, I'm not gonna like this. Yeah, and I did try it
And I was like, yeah, I knew that
Okay. Well, you know what you can do is something if you can like deduce the
Texture of something
Because we know textures we don't like regardless of taste. Oh, that's it though interesting. Yeah
Yeah, I know I don't want octopus because the texture but nothing else, right?
but as far as thing a thing you've never tasted before and you can't
Guess really what the texture might be until you've tried it
There's no way to know with food. Because I've so many times been like,
there's just, I will not like that.
I'm looking at it and I know that.
And then someone's like, you just try it, just try it.
And I try it and I'm like,
that's the best shit I've ever had in my fucking life.
Yeah. Yeah.
You can't, yeah, you can't.
And obviously the other way around.
What I don't like is, what I don't like is,
now, here's something. I don't like truffle, okay?
So people will be like, try this truffle fries.
And I say, I don't like truffle.
And they'll say, yeah, but you gotta try these.
Now I'm pissed.
And why are you pissed?
Because I don't like the fucking flavor.
And why don't they listen to you when you say that?
Because they think that it's a different kind of thing
when it's just this.
Now you gotta try, you're not trying true.
Hey, I don't like curry.
You haven't had real Indian food.
Hey, you know what?
Buy.
I love curry.
How could you not like curry?
Because it tastes like B.O.
That's not true.
It tastes, when Indian food is cooked,
it smells like B.O. a lot of the time for me.
Wow, I just don't agree.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's like a weird cross thing.
Fuck, that would be so disastrous
because I love Indian food if I thought that.
Yeah, I don't like it.
But do you not like it because of that?
Or you just don't like it? No, I've tasted it a bunch and it's at best.
Okay.
You're crazy, dude.
Nah.
No name, no name.
One of the best restaurants in LA is Indian food.
Badmash?
Badmash.
You know what that means?
Shout out to my boys over at Badmash doing big things.
What's Badmash mean?
It means like- Oh, I don't things with badass badmash mean it means like
I don't know. What does it mean? It means like
That it means badass. Wow, so close. There you go. So close to the word could just call it bad
But it didn't do the Indian version. That's better to call it badmash badmash is a sick sounding thing
Jim Carrey was so good in badmash, too
What's that?
badass, too
What's badass to Jim Carrey kick ass man? Oh
I had to do the work What's that? Badass 2. What's badass 2? Jim Carrey. Kickass man. I fucked it all up.
I had to do the work.
Kick mash.
Jim Carrey is so good in kick mash too.
Anyway, I guess that's it.
I don't know.
You want to do another one?
You got another one on pipeline?
Let's do one more.
Let's do another one on pipeline.
So sexy.
What's going on boys?
I love you both so much.
Love you too. This is in response to her to question in response to something
Chris was talking about on his world-renowned podcast. Congratulations.
Yeah. But Matt I need I need to know what you think as well. Great. So I'm actually
on my way right now to the whole Run Derby in Arlington, Texas.
Oh, sick.
By myself.
Yeah.
Chris was saying, uh, you know, if you're at a public event or such thing as that, and you're just one guy, then you're a weird guy.
That's so wrong, dude.
I guess certain, certain places and things I can agree, but what do y'all think about going to?
Sporting if you're new I know Chris is gonna fucking hate be like no way but
Going to baseball basketball, you know games by yourself or doing something like that alone that man join it do it's okay
It is absolutely guys. I I mean it's insecure, but I have friends
You know, but not everyone wants to go I go to a lot of games and so, you know, yeah, I know.
Just do what you want to do.
But be prepared to be labeled the weird guy.
Well, sure.
There you go.
But he knows that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's fucking, honestly, I think it's baller to be like, you know,
everybody always wants to do this kind of thing with a group or at least one
other person and honestly, I even prefer to do it with someone but I
Can't find anybody to go the person I was gonna go with bailed. Does that mean I can't go either fuck that dude
You want to go to a thing?
Talk to yourself in the mirror or whatever you go. Before you go somewhere alone. Just fucking go
The only thing I really I don't do anymore,
but I used to go to movies alone.
That is the shit.
It's cool, yeah.
Here's what's up.
There's nothing more it than not doing something
because you're alone and you think,
oh I can't be seen being, but fuck that dude.
Just go.
That's it, that's for sure. It depends though, right? Oh, I can't I can't be seen big fuck that dude. Yeah, just go that's it. That's for sure
It's a
It depends though, right? Oh sweating bullets. What do you mean though? Like what?
Well, you can't well that's
Crazy, I don't think they let single are you crazy? Why would you do that? I'm being serious
I don't think you can I don't think you can go alone as an adult man
You can you can't bar someone you did of course you can go alone as an adult male. You can't bar someone. You did. Of course you can go.
But why, what is wrong with you?
I thought they don't allow men in
that are just going solo.
Also, that's so weird Anthony.
Explain.
I worked in Irvine at the time and I had to work super late
and I lived like two and a half hours away from Irvine.
Okay. And I was like two and a half hours away. Okay from Irvine. Okay, and
I just I was like I got to sleep in my car
But I don't want to just like sit in my car all night and I had worked pretty close to Disneyland and I had a pass
Okay, and so I was like I'll just go to Disneyland and like kill some time. All right and kill some kids. I mean time I
Think you can't go and buy a single ticket to Disneyland man. You shouldn't be what I had a path
Maybe he had a pass. I don't think you can dude. It's creepy. It's wrong. Okay. That's the whole time
I felt like the biggest fucking weirdo. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and you should have
Where's my son yeah, I left and got my money back for parking after like an hour cuz I just felt so weird
Wow, you know, yeah. Yeah, but yeah. Well, wow, that is honestly the one place
that I would say, no, no, you don't go to that alone,
is Disneyland or another theme park
that is mainly for kids like that.
That is so crazy.
He's just like, I like the pizza there though, man.
And the churros are so bomb next to the fucking.
The bread bowls?
Next to the thunder, thunder, whatever. aren't they known for their bread bowls?
No, you know they're known for Mickey anyway, haha
All right
Well Anthony the bread bowls from cycle for sure red balls from Disney
Disneyland yeah, but it's still Disney. Yeah, but you're not Disney bread bowls. That's oh
Dude, dude, they're good. Could you put some more Disney on that?
So dumb.
Can I get Disney, some Disney on the side?
Anthony, can I get some Disney on the side?
Sir, get out.
Oh yeah, you're right.
You're under arrest.
I have my money back for parking.
All right.
I'll see you soon, Dallas.
I'll see you soon, Wichita.
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