Lifeline - 123. Revenge of the Burrito
Episode Date: August 18, 2024LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Also has a full live show. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbq...jvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 Today, Chris ate 2 burritos before we started and he most certainly is not going to catch the upswing. We're talking unrequited friendship, the word "both", talking at the urinal, and the never-ending conundrum of women talking to men and not wanting it to get flirty. 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hopefully this is helpful.
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Toronto, I am going to be in Toronto, chrislea.com and Bismarck, those are the two new dates, Bismarck, North Dakota for some reason and Toronto, I will be there.
chrislea.com and I'll also be in a bunch of different cities coming up, Beaumont, McAllen,
Texas, Peterborough, Canada, I don't know what that is, butAllen, Texas, Peterborough, Canada.
I don't know what that is, but Thunder Bay, Duluth,
London, Ontario.
Anyway, go get those tickets now,
Mobile, Alabama, chrisley.com.
Thank you very much.
Bunch of other places in Alabama too.
I know.
I don't know, I've been to Alabama before though.
I have.
Like to perform?
Yeah.
I've been to Arkansas.
Arkansas is the one place,
is I think the one of two states I've never been to really. Yep. Oh, wow
Yeah, that's so weird that I even said them then Arkansas and Montana. Oh and Alaska
I've been to two of those and on it and Arkansas both for work. That's even oh, yeah, right. You went to Montana. Yeah
so anyway, uh
That's yeah, so you can get that or you can go to the page,
also patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury.
I said there was gonna be, on Lifeline Luxury we have,
that's our Patreon and that's when we have our,
that's where we also have our Lifeline Lives
with the audience, which are awesome.
And the last one was great.
It's up there now if you wanna go check it out.
It's the best episode of Lifeline that there is I think.
But we're gonna do another one. I said we're gonna if you want to go check it out. It's the best episode of Lifeline that there is I think. Lifeline Luxury.
But we're going to do another one. I said we're going to do one in October. We're not.
We're going to do one in December, early December.
But that will be also on that.
So check out the Patreon.
And you know, Matt has a podcast, Private Record.
Private Record. This week's episode, dude.
Oh yeah?
The return of the guy who escaped the cult.
Return of the guy who escaped the cult. Return of the guy who escaped this cult.
Listen to this. Listen how much of a hero me and my show are.
Okay. He...
Laughing. He he he he he.
His family was all still in the cult when the first episode dropped.
Since then, all of his family has also left
except one person.
Because of the podcast?
Yeah, dude.
It caused this crazy. Really?
Yeah, it's crazy.
So that's what this episode's about?
I'm like a hero.
I'm an actual hero.
But don't say that.
I mean, you know, it's like-
Ben, the guest is a hero, but I facilitated it all.
So I'm a hero for doing it.
All right, well fine.
That's okay, well good.
Well good, you're doing good in the world. So it's all- And my podcast All right, well fine. That's okay, well good, well good.
You're doing good in the world.
So it's all.
And my podcast, congratulations,
does really a lot of good in the world too.
It really does.
I'm just following in your footsteps, man.
Yeah, I talked about one, like two things
in my last podcast for 30 minutes each, so that's cool.
So nice, dude.
So like and subscribe this here
and get on super good studios and we love it and get our merch
lifelikemerch.com and we love it. I'm working on new merch too but whatever. Oh so so blah.
Do you think uh you think we're cool or what? Dude I tell you what I am I I did it I did I
man we just are who we are huh. Oh wow didn't really say anything. I did it. I did. Man, we just are who we are, huh? Oh, wow. Didn't really say anything.
I did something that I knew I was going to do, that I knew I shouldn't do,
that I couldn't help but do.
Story of my life.
And I we get these burritos from here.
Oh, it's a place. I get the burrito from there and
we all get burritos from there. Do we? OK.
Yeah, true. You're talking about what we just. Waking late. Yeah. there. And, um. We all get burritos from there. Do we? Okay. Yeah, true.
You're talking about what we just ate, right?
Waking late, yeah.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
So it's really good.
And one burrito isn't enough.
And I've, we probably, I've probably had it
five, six times now.
And I go, one day I'm gonna get two.
God, that's so interesting that you think
one is not enough.
I can't tell you how much one is enough.
And then I go like this.
That's going to make me feel awful.
Of course.
I should not get to.
Of course.
And then I think, but I'm me.
I'm going to I'm going to crack one time.
I'm going to crack.
I'm going to say get to.
Sure.
Once you should do it, though, if you think
if you always think one is not enough, you should try having.
But here's the thing, too.
Also, very good point.
But here's also the thing. When I when i get when i get to the place
when i get here and i see the two i don't have to eat both not at all i can eat one i can eat one
and a half you want in one bite could be crazy like that but then i know wait a minute me you're
still me and i know i'm gonna eat both okay even, even if I don't want to well, that's weird
Okay, so you get full and you keep eating I get full I eat. So what I did was today I got the two
Here they are now. I got them. I ate one and I go like this
Want a more one more? Okay. Okay, right started eating the second one and I and I go
Okay. Okay. Right. Started eating the second one and I go,
that's a lot. Okay. How many bites in did you start doing that? Oh, like two or three. Right away. In the second one. Okay. And then I finished the second one. Whoa, dude. And now I feel awful. Oh,
dude. Yeah, I bet. And I knew it was going to happen and we are our destiny, right? We cannot
escape fate. And that is what it is.
And ever since the upswing of the burrito,
which was by the way, the third episode,
which is a different burrito that we used to get,
now we have a new burrito and I got two.
So this really is the upswing of the burrito.
This is the revenge of the burrito.
This is just the revenge of the burrito.
The revenge of the burrito. The revenge of the burrito.
Wait, was it a different?
Hello.
Was it a different place?
More human than human.
Yeah, just that's the preview.
A burrito coming through the door.
More human than human.
Hello.
Oh no.
In their mouth.
The burrito forces.
In the mouth, yeah.
It's like-
Someone to eat it?
That's fucking messed up, dude.
It's obviously a metaphor, but it's, yeah.
It's not, yeah, it's a burrito.
It's messed up.
Revenge of the burrito.
And there was no first movie.
Just Revenge of the Burrito.
I have a question though.
If the burrito, if the whole thing that the burrito does
is make someone eat it, can it only do that once?
Or like, how does it work?
It's a virus.
So it goes into the person?
No, it's a virus.
It's like, there's a bunch of them.
It's not just one.
Oh, this is what I was wondering.
Okay.
Yeah, so proper.
This is what I was wondering.
So this is exactly what I was wondering. So it's Revenge of the Burrito. Burrito is what I was wondering. Okay. Yeah. So proper. This is what I was wondering. So it's revenge of the burrito.
Burrito is plural in this planet.
Burrito is plural for burrito as well.
It's like sheep.
So it's revenge of the burritos?
I thought about this a lot.
No, it's revenge of the burrito.
Burrito is multiple.
But it's not multiple.
Burritos is a word.
I know, but yeah, on this-
In the world of the movie.
In the world of the movie.
And on the planet burrito.
The burrito race is burrito.
Have you ever called the burrito a burrito Obama?
No.
Okay.
Why would I do that?
Just it's not good.
It doesn't sound nice.
And it's not funny.
I've called it that for years.
Really?
Burrito Obama, yeah.
That's stupid.
Me and him.
All right, well, fine.
Anyway, we're That's stupid. Me and him. All right, well, fine. Anyway.
We're always doing stupid stuff.
What are you gonna do about it?
What can you do about it, really?
Here's what I will say though.
This podcast that we have, Lifeline,
is the best, it's the best.
It's great, it's a great podcast, okay?
I don't know why it's not bigger.
It's getting bigger and that's fine and it's cool
and people love it.
The people who love it, love it.
We're very, it's very obvious,
like a culty sort of fucking thing here.
But the podcast is very, the banter, the brother,
the brotherhood of it, the people that have a family,
they really get it, you know what I'm saying?
I do.
Because I watch the show sometimes and I'm like,
wow, you really give it to me like a brother.
All building up to you kicking the living shit out of me.
And that's fine, but I'd like to explore something with you.
My face, your face!
And so, uh.
So anyway.
Yeah, no, I agree.
It's uh, It's the-
I just tell your friends about it, but whatever.
This doesn't need to be a-
The thing I hear maybe the most is, I love the show.
It reminds me of the dynamic between me and my sister,
me and my brother.
Brother.
You're the sister, I'm the brother.
I'm the brother, cause I'm the brother,
cause I'm so fucking manly anyway.
So yeah, so what have you been up to, dude?
I mean, you know, it's like, come on.
You asked me more than once?
Well, it was a huge pause after I said it.
I can't tell you how many things have gone wrong
with my car in the last two or three months.
Why?
And it's boring and I'm not gonna list it all,
but it's like, I get it fixed
and then it's just another fucking thing. And it's not and I'm not gonna list it all, but it's like, I get it fixed. And then it's just another fucking thing.
And it's not just the car,
it's also like DMV stuff or AAA, it's just like-
So anything with the car, it's on car adjacent.
It's unbelievable, dude.
I had to fill out a form.
I've never filled out a form.
What do you mean?
Just never?
I don't think I've ever filled out a form.
I tell you what, I haven't filled out a form
since I was in my teens. What do you mean? Yes, you have. You have to fill I've ever filled out a form. I tell you what, I haven't filled out a form since I was in my teens.
What do you mean?
Yes, you have.
You have to fill things out to get things so often.
If you don't, it just kinda,
you can still just kinda be chill.
You mean you have people fill things out for you?
Yeah, or I think maybe.
Me too.
I had somebody fill something out for me.
They did it in such a way,
I'm not gonna name names,
cause I'm a nice guy,
but they did it in such a way that they put not gonna name names because I'm a nice guy, but they did it in such a way
that they put, they were like, okay,
there were boxes designated to put a number in, right?
There were six boxes for the mileage counter on the car.
Okay?
In case that you get up to the hundreds,
hundreds of thousands, right?
I mean, I'm already pissed, but yeah.
The person that did it put the number, it was in the hundreds of thousands, right? I mean, I'm already pissed, but yeah. The person that did it put the number,
it was in the tens of thousands.
I can tell.
And they've started in the wrong box.
I can tell that, that's what was gonna happen.
And then the DMV took months to send it back and say,
we can't accept this, the numbers are too far over.
And I couldn't believe the anger, okay? So, okay, so and I couldn't believe the anger okay so okay
so I couldn't believe the end so now you talk about how you weren't gonna list
the things now let me tell you something when you started with the first listing
right there that thing the story became infinitely better I know but it I now I'm
mad again and that's why I wanted to avoid it. Okay. Oh, I see so not from boringness
No, I'm not no, I'm mad like because of anger. Why is it so when someone gets mad, it's so
Funny, I don't know. That's interesting. We get so cuz we relate and we go are glad it's not me I I was looking at a videos on I woke a way to her this morning looking at videos on YouTube
And I ended up I don't know why my algorithm does this,
but it shows me like dash cam stuff of motorcyclists.
And there was one where a guy got really mad at a driver.
And I looked at the comments and it's like,
all of the commenters are in absolute ecstasy
about how mad the guy got.
And they're like, oh, I felt that, oh, I loved that.
It's like majestic anger. And I like Majestic anger and people got problems
Myself included that's pretty wild. Not me. I have no problems. You know, especially when I drink my magic mind
Let's do a first thing plug in it. Yeah, let's do
You know
Hey guys, listen, listen, listen, listen. I want each of you to repeat this phrase. Okay, maybe I hit a test I
Went to both of them I went to both of them. I went to both of them.
Now did you say, when it comes to this word...
Both, yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Did you say, both?
Thank you.
Of them?
I went to both of them.
Thank you.
Or did you say, I went to both of them?
Thank you.
Because a lot of people are starting to catch on to the wave that that both I guess is that there's an L in there now
Bull no no no no no no no no no no there's no L in both. Yeah, it's both
It's true. I went to both of them. It's true. I went to both of them if you say both
You're a piece of shit. Oh wow went so far, it went so far. Dude, here's the deal.
People do do that.
It's like people say supposedly instead of supposedly.
That's terrible.
If you do that when you're eight, it's okay.
If you're an adult with hair on your face
and you're saying both, you gotta walk into the sea.
Do you know what I mean?
It's not a good thing.
And people are going, you are a going,
people are going to think you're dumb.
Yeah, both is weird, cause you're just adding a letter.
You're just adding a letter.
It's not like often, often people say often
and they say often, even though the T is silent,
but the T's there, right?
Do people say often?
I guess they do, yeah.
But here's the thing that I liked
about this guy's submission is,
he added a bunch of different words in the sentence
that we had to say.
Yeah, he did.
Just write down both, and then say, say this word.
I like that he did this sentence.
We went to both of them.
Was he trying to throw us off?
No, I think he was.
I feel like that's what he said.
Here's what I think.
He heard somebody saying.
If he put the word alone,
we would have thought about it too much.
And somebody that's liable to say both,
might have said both.
Right.
He wanted to lure it out of us.
Reading it, I knew that that's what he did anyway.
I'm smart.
He wanted to lure it out of us.
I knew it was about the both.
Okay.
Did you?
Oh.
Yeah, beforehand.
I didn't know anything. I didn't know that it was about a word. I did.
I'm so good with shit like that, dude. What is shit like that? Like, that's not something.
Like, picking up on certain things. You know how like women will be like, I'm just like,
like, I can just tell stuff, you know, like, like all women think they're psychic, you know?
Okay. And they're not. Okay. You're both like a lot of women think they're psychic, you know?
And they're not.
Okay, you're both psychics don't exist, so that's why.
Right, but me, I'm not psychic,
but like I should be doing that instead of women.
I should be saying that.
Go for it, dude.
Nobody should be saying I'm psychic more.
Okay, all right.
No, I'm not psychic,
but I deserve to be the one who's saying it.
Not all these chicks.
Okay.
Because it's like-
Sleeper.
Sleeper.
So many of these women are like,
oh my God, it's so weird.
I keep looking at the clock and it keeps showing fives.
And you're like, you don't deserve to be saying that.
I'm the one who's good at figuring things out
and knowing stuff and I'm not psychic,
but if you're gonna be starting to say that kind of stuff
and people think that there's psychics and stuff out there,
then it's like, I fell by the wayside
when I should be getting the credit,
even though there are no psychics.
On to the next one.
Wow, okay.
Does it make sense?
I mean, no.
What you're saying,
you think you're saying-
Mom and dad watch this.
Doesn't make sense,
but the words you're putting together successively
all in a row, like it works.
Mom and dad watch this show.
And I think probably when they heard that part,
they were like, how did we,
Yeah.
Like what, where did we, how did we go wrong?
It's not wrong, but like, how did,
what did we do to make him like that?
Oh, they think that a lot.
All right, cool.
Well, let's go to the next one.
Hey, Matt and Chris, Chris and Matt,
whichever you prefer.
My name's David.
I've been a baby since day one.
The Church of Kay, congratulations episode
is my favorite episode of all time.
And it made me so happy that you
guys started to do this show together. Matt, Kay has been my philosophy for years so
thank you for that. My question today is regarding one of my high school best
friends. When we graduated high school he went out of state for college, I
stayed in state and so our relationship really quickly became sort of checking
in when we were both on break
during Christmas, holidays or when he was visiting and stuff like that.
All I have to say after school now, it's become a lot harder to stay in touch and I told him
that.
I said, hey dude, if we really want to you know, remain close friends, I think it's important
that we set aside a designated time to check in with each other, whether that just be texting
or a phone call once a month or something like that. that we set aside a designated time to check in with each other, whether that just be texting or
a phone call once a month or something like that. Because if he's not coming back every winter for
break, then how are we ever gonna tell each other updates? The last time he was home for Christmas,
this last in 2023, he told me he had met a girl and I had not heard of this girl at all,
had nothing to go off of.
He's not very active on social media, neither am I.
And so, I was really excited for him and he told me things were gonna get pretty serious
in the new year and I kind of assumed that meant he was gonna propose but he didn't say
that outright.
Well, cut to May, my sister's on Instagram and she sees that he posts a picture proposing to this girl.
And honestly, it kind of hurt me. I wasn't sure how to react to it.
My gut reaction was not excitement for him. It was more a little bit like,
oh wow, that's kind of shitty that this is how I find out about it.
So I'm not sure if I'm overreacting there. Here's the real kicker.
Oh boy. Ever since then, I've been trying to reach out to him just to talk about it. So I'm not sure if I'm overreacting there. Here's the real kicker. Ever since then,
I've been trying to reach out to him just to talk about it. And maybe, you know, if he's with this
girl, I would love to meet her. I have tried to call him at least twice a month for the past
three months. And he has completely sent every single call. I've had the voicemail. I've texted
him, been really confrontational and he just hasn't replied to any of it
So am I overreacting?
Do you guys have any advice on what I should do?
Should I shut the hell up and I just don't know how to process it or handle it
Well now anything you guys have I would really appreciate I love you both
You remind me a lot of my brother and I there we go. Keep doing what you're doing. Love you guys. Thanks
Okay, so thanks that was a long one, but it was actually very good.
And the way he told it was very good.
No fat, there was no fat.
Yeah, there was no fat.
I think about this sometimes, you know?
Like not falling out with friends,
but like, oh, I used to hang out with that guy a lot.
And then we don't, but we're still friends, you know?
Or, you know, and I think,
I think it personally for me,
it's weird to keep trying
when people have kind of stopped trying.
It doesn't, it could hurt my feelings,
but I never react about it.
Like what the fuck, bro?
You know?
I mean, maybe I would to like, you know,
a romantic situation in the past, I've done it.
Like, whoa, whoa, you know, is something different.
You know, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like, that's always been kind of foreign to me
in my personal life. And I wonder what makes a guy do that to another guy and then I wonder also like it must be something with your childhood
Like that's a fear of abandonment and shit, but then also the guy is not responding. Yeah, but what what does it make when it?
How does a guy get to the point where he goes?
What the fuck about another guy?
Because I don't really get that.
I have, but I don't-
I don't know if I ever have.
So I can't really relate either.
I think there's different kinds of men in relationships
with other men, like friendships obviously.
And I just, cause I've had it done to me
where I've been confronted about being like
not a good enough friend.
And I reacted so negatively and actually just been like,
like completely back away
and just never talk to that person again.
Oh, okay.
And so, but I'm the guy that he's talking to.
I know.
So yeah, that sucks.
I know.
I'm not saying that's a good quality of mine.
Well, it's just-
But I've gotten defensive and been like, fuck, I'm doing the not I'm not saying that's a good quality of mine Well, it's just but I've gotten defensive and been like fuck. I'm doing the best I can I call you and text you
As much as I feel like texting right right right you don't know enough for you, then that's not my problem
But here's the thing so the guy's like am I doing too much
I don't know what you started with so I don't know if you started
Hey, what the heck too early because if you start hey, what the heck too early? Yeah, if you start, hey, what the heck, too early,
it's only gonna push someone away.
And that's kinda like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So if you start the what the heck too early,
then that's on you and you fucked it up.
But if you didn't, calling two times a month
is not egregious.
And texting is, it's weird if he doesn't text back.
But my, somebody, I have one friend,
I guess ex friend that this happened with that.
I don't really understand why we stopped talking.
It certainly wasn't because of me.
I miss him and I'm hurt by it
like a lot all the time.
But I have not written him or called him
and done anything like that.
Because when I know I've tried
and my answer is in his non-response.
His answer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, his answer, right.
He doesn't wanna be friends with me.
So, or rather, if he wanted wanna be friends with me, so.
I think that-
Or rather, if he wanted to be friends,
he would keep-
Respond to the one who's a wild.
Yeah, he would respond, yeah.
And that's the key, I think.
The guy is, it sucks,
and it's like a really weak person's way out,
but if the person is just not responding consistently
over a period of time,
when you've reached out many, many times,
unfortunately that is an answer.
Yeah, it is, yeah.
That is the answer you're looking for.
It means that that person doesn't care about you.
Unfortunately, for whatever reason.
I don't, and I don't, I don't, not, you know,
I guess I'm making it about me, but like,
the thing with the guy I was talking about,
I don't even know why he doesn't want to...
I would imagine he would say the same thing.
Yeah.
So, so if it's in that situation, you can only assume, but you might as well not assume and just be like,
okay, well, he'll reach out if he wants to. It just has nothing to do with, I mean, this has more to do with him, you know,
and maybe it's, maybe it's just he got busy and like, I don't know how long it's been, but maybe it's just like, dude, I got this girl
and you know, other things matter to me more now
and that's okay, and you know,
cause friendships wax and wane, right?
Maybe he started to get behind on getting back to you.
Then you called him out on it.
Then he started feeling bad and then he stopped responding
cause he was like, oh my God, what am I gonna say?
Oh my God.
And then it just became such a deep, dark hole in his mind
that he was like, every time he sees a text from me,
he's like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
Or he's like, oh shit, I really gotta figure this out.
Yeah, which is very much what men do
about a lot of different things.
Yeah.
But I think the main thing is you gotta just be like,
you know what, this dude obviously doesn't want me
to be in his life at this moment, so that's that.
You just stop.
Stop killing yourself over it.
Stop thinking, what's going on?
Why is he da-da-da?
Just be like, okay, he's answering me.
I'm done.
I'm not gonna reach out anymore.
All right, there you have it.
Bye-bye.
Let's do another one.
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chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself.
So close. This shit. Hey Kristen, Matt. So close. This is a response to the woman who
always keeps your toilet lid open. This shit with the voice. You're crazy.
Dommer. You're disgusting and I'm gonna tell you why. When you leave a toilet lid open,
laying it down, flush the toilet, water vapor from the toilet gets distributed all around the restroom
It happens when you flush not when the toilet bowl still so if you open the toilet
And it's still you're not getting alone the matrix bad guy bacteria in your face like Matt said doesn't make any sense
That's what it has to be flushing. So you should always keep a toilet lid closed.
It's a lot more sanitary.
If you're really worried about what you're gonna see
when you open it up and just pre-flush the toilet,
or you could communicate with all the people
in your household that they should be flushing
the toilet anyway.
Mom, I'm gonna go do your shit.
People who are worried about getting germs on their hand
because they have to touch the lid
If you're going to the bathroom, you should be washing your hands. Anyway, okay, you disgusting pig Wow
This guy has gets so mad that he blacks out
He blacks out and hits his head and wakes up and he's almost died like six times from hitting his head Mm-hmm, and he and people say you should go to anger management class and he goes and he literally every single time says fuck that shit
mmm except he used to say fuck that shit but now he just literally doesn't say
anything he just sits down wherever he is and and the person's like what happened
he doesn't he doesn't move he doesn't get up you just stay seated he is
people have we talked about this before?
What?
The toilet seat thing?
Yeah, he's referring to a submission.
Because people are sending me stuff like,
you gotta close it or whatever.
Yeah, people got really feisty about that one in particular.
This is something I don't care about.
Really?
I don't care, no.
What, you left the toilet open and you flush it,
what shit flecks are gonna go on my cheek?
Like, no.
Or maybe and then it's fine.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't flush the toilet and go,
oh, over the toilet.
Yeah, it's kind of hyperchondriac to care about it.
The second you start caring about that stuff,
I'll start thinking about all the other stuff.
And it's just, it's too much, man.
It's so out of your control.
You can't see it.
You can't do anything with it.
Like, whatever, keep the toilet closed, I guess.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I piss my pants.
I shit my pants.
Oh.
I don't, I don't, I don't care. I piss my pants. I shit my pants. Oh, I Don't I don't I don't care
it is good also that guy's penis is 1.5 inches long hard and soft and
When he sits down no matter what his penis goes straight up. Oh nice. Yeah, I like that cool. Yeah, totally good
I really like that
got Brooks
All right, let's do another one.
Hey guys.
I'm sitting down here.
Russell here in Arizona.
Thank you for everything you do.
I'm gonna jump right into it.
Cool.
What is your stance on urinal conversations?
Oh.
Oh.
Because I personally have a no conversation
at the urinal policy.
Okay. I'm a security supervisor in a building Because I personally have a no conversation at the urinal policy. Okay
I'm a security supervisor in a building and
I was helping a man who got stuck at the door his badge wouldn't let him through so I took his badge And I fixed it and I got him through and he was like that was awesome. He did that really fast. Thank you
I'll see you had no problem
like five minutes later with the two piss and
He walks in and he's just a couple stalls down
And he says I really appreciate what you did for me earlier. That was that was awesome
I mean Jesus and you know, we don't have to do this
Mmm, we already did this once. Why are we doing this again? And also
Now's not the time
I'm busy Like this is me time. I'm busy.
Like this is me time.
Let's reschedule.
Anyways, let me know how you feel.
It's funny because,
first of all that's a worship of all time.
Second of all, it's funny because that guy,
if I were to think of a guy that looks like
he likes to talk to you at the urinal, it would be that guy.
I'd be like, no, make his beard longer than his hair.
Like that is so much. I agree, though, if I'm pissing.
I mean, I don't care if somebody says one thing to me. I don't care.
But if it's more than one in this, I don't know if it's weirdly.
I don't know if this has ever happened to me.
But yeah, it's weird.
I guess I would rather not.
It doesn't, it wouldn't bother me though.
Yeah, it's like, who cares?
One time I was behind a guy.
It's like he's trying to grab your cock or something.
The guy was peeing and I was waiting.
I was a kid and I was waiting to pee.
And it was at the Dodger Stadium, I think.
Oh boy.
And when I say I was a kid, I was like,
you know, I wasn't like five, I was like, you know,
15 or something.
And the guy's peeing and I,
he just turns around and he says,
"'Could you get any closer?'
Oh my God.
And I wasn't close which like I
it was so weird that he did that I was like I said oh what? And he was like
you're close back up and I was like oh okay and I backed up and then I walked
outside and I told dad I was like dad this happened he says who did that? Yeah
and I said oh he you know left whatever and he was like oh dad, this happened. He says, who did that? And I said, oh, he left, whatever.
And he was like, oh man.
I said, what would you have done if you were in there?
He says, I would have talked to him.
I would have said something.
I'd say, don't talk that way to my son.
It would have been so awkward by a year and a half.
Yeah, even closer.
Don't talk that way to my son.
But I, and that always, I always think of that now
because I have kids.
And I think if somebody did that to my kids
Yeah, what I would do and I wonder
That's so weird that he would do that made me feel really bad. Yeah, of course it did
I made me feel really bad as a guy was just like
It's weird when somebody makes you feel bad like that. Also
Dude chill out. Oh, you know everyone who knows what the fuck his wife maybe just divorced him Who knows but why is he have to dodge him if his wife just. Oh, you know, everyone who knows what the fuck his wife, maybe just divorced him, who knows?
But why does he have to dodge the game
if his wife just divorced him, you know?
It's like, stay home and take a piss.
Take that for exactly what it is, you know?
Work it out with your wife.
Stay home, work it out with your wife.
Don't go to the dodge game.
Who cares what my fiance's doing?
Imagine being that kind of person,
turning around to a kid and being like,
could you get closer?
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Talking to your own old doesn't matter at all.
I'm going to go even further.
If you're somebody that doesn't walk by a baby and go like this.
Yeah, I agree, dude.
Bro, that's it's crazy to me when somebody walks by Billy and they just go.
I'm like, are you not a person?
They're so cute, dude.
Little babies, they're so cute.
I walk by them and go, hey.
I've never not done that.
You know, up to, I don't know how old six,
but it's just like, so crazy that people don't do that.
I agree.
I couldn't agree more.
You agree?
In fact, yeah, yeah, totally.
I've been in terrible moods and still don't.
Yeah, same, same.
You know, like what are you been in terrible moods and still don't. Yeah, same, same. You know?
Like what are you doing in life if not that?
Mm, people are so into,
they're involved in their own head, dude.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I get it like one out of 50 people.
Maybe they're having a terrible day.
Right.
Yeah, people are,
I've been really thinking about this lately.
People are, generally most people are just truly awful. Yes, that sucks
I don't want to think that dude. No, it's true, dude. I didn't want to think that I wanted to be positive
You know how like the character in the movies like but I believe in good like every character always believes in good
That's not how it is. No, you still believe in good
You don't just you believe in it, but you know, it's you know, it's not true
That's there are good people, though. There are good people. Yes.
But just because most aren't doesn't mean that there aren't good.
The majority swallows them up, though.
It's like it's such a feeble attempt to try to make the world a better place.
It feels like sometimes. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, man. I'm an islast.
Well, are you?
I think you're saying you believe in good.
No, I believe in good.
Yeah, I just I just think that it's there. It's more of like a it's like there's no shot, you know
Yeah people dude. I mean what like two minutes on the internet. It's like whoa, bro
Alright, okay. Let's have this one. Sure. Yeah
Hey Matt a Chris hey Repping Jersey here.
Nice, so far so good.
Quick question.
So let's say you decide to like,
make a new habit or break a habit,
like start working out really hard
or lose a ton of weight or stop drinking, you know,
stuff that's like life changing.
Do you post on social media?
Right when you make the decision?
No. Or do you kind of like hide out,
see progress and then post?
Or do you not post at all?
We're so like social media oriented.
I feel like for me, if I post something,
I'm worried that I'm gonna go back on my promise to myself
and then look like an idiot when I don't follow through.
That makes you wanna follow through.
But I guess some people think it's motivation.
If they put it out there, then they have to stick to it.
What do you think?
Flip side of the coin.
I mean, I think that you don't,
I think that if you're the kind of person
that posts the beginnings of journeys
in the beginning of the journey, you post too much.
Yeah.
You know, if you wanna post later on like,
wow, I never thought my fitness journey
would this and that, you know, a year later, look at this.
That's, you don't post too much, that's fine.
But if you are like, you know what, I'm going to pick up reading.
This is my first book.
You're you're so somebody I don't.
It's just annoying to me.
Yeah, I think also you're just because of the nature of
what social media is and the kind of person you probably are.
If you're inclined to do that at the very beginning of a journey,
you're also not going to do it. You're not going to continue to do it. the very beginning of a journey, you're also not gonna do it
Continue to do it. You're not supposed to just post thoughts. Yeah, just these are supposed to be in your head
Filter them and I don't mean put a filter on them when you post them
I mean filter them and decide what to post them not to post because what's worth it
I don't care that you're reading their eyes were watching God
Oh, I would be very interested in that if somebody was, their eyes were watching God. Oh, I would be very interested in that.
If somebody was reading their eyes were watching God.
That's just me, though.
I mean, I'm fucking kidding.
It's so boring.
It was written by Zoraniel Hurston.
Nice, dude.
OK.
Oh, OK.
Why do you say it like that?
Like, good job for knowing.
Gonna fucking filet me, dude.
I had to.
We had to read that.
We had to read that in high school.
Oh really?
I didn't have to read that.
And I go like this.
I read it, I bought it.
Oh, so you read it.
I read a few pages and I go like this.
Guess I'm failing.
All done with that book.
Wow, that's pretty fucking hardcore.
I don't really like, and I didn't't read it and we had tests on it every week
and I just filled it out and I would just guess.
Wow.
What did what did the main character wear when she found the thing at the I go parka.
It probably wasn't a parka.
The blue parka.
That's even crazier than just not filling it out. Because like, dude, I'm not going to read
The Rise of Watching God.
It's one of those books that
it's about a young black woman
and in, I don't know if it's like
the South or something.
Is it about slavery? I actually don't even know.
But it's written,
like her dialect is written.
So where you're like, yes,
I'm supposed to be, and I'm just like oh dude
Ha man. This is La Canyada
Dude, I'm what it's about a lot of books like that were assigned to us. Remember the K the what Chris? Yeah the K
Yeah, dude, that's weird. I remember you loved that book. That was like a fourth grade book
Was it? Yeah, it was long like way young. I read the Fountainhead
Is it the only book you ever read? No, I read the client. I read Fountainhead and I read some of Congo
And then I read an autobiography by John Casavetes. Thank you very much and the LL Cool J book
The LL Cool J book. What book is that? There's an LL Cool J book
I forget but I read it.
What do you mean for sure, you know?
He wrote it, yeah.
Who wrote it?
So wait.
What?
By James Todd Smith, go fuck yourself.
Is?
There it is, right there.
No, no, no, the I make my own rules by LL Cool J.
Of course that's the title.
There you go, and he does.
And he's fucking so much platinum,
he goes platinum all the time.
You, you read this? Uh-huh, I fucking so much platinum. He goes platinum all the time. You read this?
Uh-huh. I did.
Bro, look at the pic on the back.
Ah!
Dude, I-
Why did you read this?
I don't know.
What is wrong with you?
I don't know. I read the whole thing.
What is it called?
I make my own rules.
You just saw it.
Like chapter one, I killed three people.
I made- The law doesn't apply to me.
Dude, I remember this as parental advisory,
because we open the book, it says the N word.
Dude, I got the clean version.
I opened it up, I was logging.
But this, dude, it is, I love LL Cool J, okay?
I've met him, he's great, dude, I love LL Cool J, okay?
Okay. I've met him, he's great, dude.
I love LL Cool J, okay?
Is that why you read it, like you knew him?
No, no, no, I read it when I was 12.
I met him at fucking when I shot the, what is the?
Dude, explain more about why you read this.
That is nonsense.
I don't, I can't.
Wow.
I love hip hop.
So I think I read LL Cool J's book because of that.
It's got four and a half stars.
So look, I was like 15 probably when I read it.
It's probably around the time that guy told me
to back up on the sacrifice.
But that book I read and-
He told you to back up
because you weren't paying attention to reading the book.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Back up, I look at him, I go like this,
I make my own rules. And so, what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back up. I look at him, I go like this. I make my own rules.
And so what do you make your own rules back up?
Oh, I get it. He's going to read the book. So
I close it. Zlogan. And so I mean, somebody callbacks.
Joke about 3000. So keep going.
I get it. I get it.
So I read this book and what was I going to say? I love LL Cool J and then I was going to say, I get it, I get it. So I read this book and what was I gonna say?
I love LL Cool J and then I was gonna say,
I don't remember.
And that's okay.
God damn it dude.
But I forget, but I was gonna say something
and I went into like nine different jokes
and then I forgot.
I know, you fucked it up dude.
I wanted to know what you were gonna say too.
I read it and I can't remember.
Say something else then, make it up.
Okay.
LL Cool J is so nice and he was so nice
when I shot the, what is that thing called?
Lipstick battle.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, he's so cool.
I love LL Cool J.
And he's so, what the fuck was I gonna say?
He's just a big famous guy, dude.
He sure is.
Ha, metaphorical freaks.
I'm a metaphorical freak, freaks, why can't I say it?
Wow, fuck it up so much.
Anyway, let's do another one, but yeah, he's...
Yeah, I love the shit, actually.
And I've read some other books, too.
Nice.
Hey guys, calling from Tel Aviv.
Okay, I have an issue that I've been annoyed by
for like ever since I can remember
It's with dealing with men talking to guys. Okay
If I'm even the slightest bit
Friendly and nice they just automatically think that I want them. Yeah, the time I don't yeah, okay, and I have a single man
Okay, so I find myself forever
Always having to like tone it down be less friendly because I don't want them to think that I want them and it gets awkward
It's so tiring. And so I don't know. Is there something I want a male perspective
Is there something a girl can do that like signals to you?
She's not into you but like she still wants to talk to you and enjoy the friendly relationship
I don't want to come off as a bitch and I don't want to have to like always tone it down but it
just gets tiring. Yeah I bet it does. Any advice? I actually, this is great, I think
that this is probably one of the, I'm not a woman obviously, this has got to be one of
the most annoying things to deal with as a woman. It has to be. But here's the
thing and generally speaking, no there's nothing you can do. Yeah, I agree.
Because biologically, men need to think that you want them
because that's what helps us procreate
and make more humans.
It's a biological thing where it's like,
Yo, I think she wanted me.
It's like, dude, one time I was at a strip club,
this was God, 20 plus years ago.
And my friend was like, oh, the stripper really likes me.
And I was like, oh, no.
It's not how life works.
That's not true.
And he's like, yeah, I know.
She's going to give me her number.
And I was like, OK.
And then so he said, let's go wait outside when it closes,
and then he'll come out and give me their number.
And I was like, oh boy.
Okay.
And then so we're outside waiting
and I was like, yo bro, she's not gonna come out.
And he was like, dude, I'll never forget this.
He was like, trust me, dude,
I know when people are like bullshitting or not,
I'm not an idiot.
I know that she's kind of come out and give me her number.
Oh wow.
And he's still waiting.
Yeah, he's still there. But no, but it's like.
You need to have that as a guy, you know.
But like, come on.
No, no, be more discerning.
Yes, of course.
Yes, yes, yes.
But who's that?
It's hard.
It's hard for it's also hard for guys
to put themselves out there.
So like, you know, they're going to do it
when they think they should.
And they don't all have good, you know, radar on that.
She's saying every time she's nice to a guy,
they think it.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't doubt that at all.
I don't doubt it at all, yeah.
But like, that must be so fucking tedious
because then the flip side is.
What if she's just like, hey, how's it going?
Oh my God, so nice to meet you.
You tone it down.
You tone it down and You tone it down.
And then you're an asshole.
The guy's like, what a fucking bitch.
That sucks, dude.
It is weird, though, because it's your time.
You don't owe them anything.
I mean, I get this sometimes.
People come up to me and they're like, hey, oh my God.
Whatever.
They say something about my stand up or the podcast
or something.
And I know that if I say, oh, thanks so much,
that's so cool, and advance the conversation,
I'm gonna be here for a while.
And if I just say, oh, really appreciate it,
thank you so much.
But I run the risk of people being like,
ah, it wasn't that nice.
But it's not that I'm not that nice.
It's just that, dude, I have people do that,
not to be a dick, but people do that,
if I go out all day, it'll happen a bunch of times.
And if I'm with my kids, you know what I mean?
So a woman is always dealing with that.
Famous or not.
So, and I've been in a lot of great shit.
God, it's weird that I've-
TV, podcasts.
It's weird that I've been alive so long
and I've never actually thought this exact thing.
Oh wow.
Not this exact thing.
I think about it all the time.
Not exactly.
Not specifically.
I've thought about how if they seem nice guys take it away.
Yeah, of course you thought about that.
But the other side of it, it's like the lane they have to be in sounds fucking miserable.
But that's why women are always like, fuck men.
Yeah, of course, yeah.
You know?
And it's like this weird thing that it's like,
we're different.
It's not even necessarily the guy's fault.
I mean, in certain cases it is, but like, you know,
and in certain cases, if a woman's a bitch,
then you shouldn't be.
But like, they get that way because of that.
And men get that way because of that. And men get that way because of that.
And so it's like, it's a really weird, weird balance
of like, this tricky line to walk.
It's interesting though, if you think about it
from a guy's perspective though, because like,
how many times has a woman been nice to a guy in his life?
So many times.
How many times has it been borne out
that like she's into him?
Yeah, I know.
Not that many, right?
No, I know, yeah.
It's just weird that automatically guys think that.
Yeah.
I probably do too.
I can't really put myself there.
I don't think you...
Right, you're saying everyone does.
If you're not that way,
there's something deeply wrong with you
in your childhood
or something happened to you.
Like, oh no, she doesn't like me, I'm a piece of shit.
Like you just, that, you know.
So interesting.
You're just, oh, she was nice to me.
Oh, she's hot, she's nice to me.
Oh, she probably wants me.
Cause you want her to want you.
Sure, yeah.
Wow.
Damn.
Fans in Tel Aviv though, huh?
That's cool. Yeah.. Fans in Tel Aviv though, huh? That's cool.
Yeah.
Shout out to Tel Aviv.
We gotta go on the Tel Aviv tour.
She was nice.
I think she likes me.
Damn, dude.
Yeah, I don't know, dude.
There's no solution to that.
I've thought about this so much.
Exactly what she's saying.
And I, I, there's, there's,
I don't think there's anything you can do.
Damn.
You know? And I have a PhD in human, and I don't think there's anything you can do. Damn.
And I have a PhD in human psyche.
He has a PhD in human psyche
and he still doesn't know people.
Okay.
I have a play, hate and degree in human psyche.
PhD, play, hate and degree.
One of the coolest things ever said was
a PhD is a play, hate and degree.
What is that from what I just said? Well, I mean, I don't know who coined it.
But but Rapin Forte said it.
But I don't know who coined it.
Probably him that I'm thinking of. Or it could be Drew Down.
But Drew Down.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Dude, I heard that song
somebody was driving by with that song on.
When?
Recently, the past month.
And I'd go, no way.
Any of you know what?
What was it that 80s rappers,
so many of them were just like,
I don't know why, I don't know why, right?
Dude, his-
What the fuck was that, dude?
He was the absolute-
Just a children's show.
Best.
You put the A before the V and then the Z.
Dude, drew down.
You see what you are, and you hear what it is.
There's five different senses if you don't count.
Telepathy.
He's dying.
Is this Xsets?
Is this Scooby Dizzo?
Oh God.
Dude, I love this song.
Zoinks!
Pimp of the Year.
The album Zoinks.
Scooby Doo like this, Shaggy like this.
Wah!
On the thing.
Dude, yeah, Pimp of the Year.
Pimp of the Year.
Na na na na na na na.
This?
And then the guitar bit, the bass.
Oh dude. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Forget.
Ba dum ba dum ba dum. I haven't heard that song in so long, I bet I still know every single word. Oh, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Forget.
I haven't heard that song in so long.
I bet I still know every single word.
I haven't heard that song in so long, except for last, I drove by.
You said it was when?
Oh, that recently.
A month, within a month.
Wow.
I go, whoa.
And the car?
Was it banging?
It was like something like an Oldsmobile or a Cadillac and it had big rims on it.
So it might've been Drew Down, honestly.
Wow, dude.
Imagine what is Drew Down doing now?
Is Drew Down still alive?
I looked this up.
So what is Drew Down doing now, number one?
I looked up DJ Quick, the same kind of guy,
but DJ Quick was really successful as a producer
and all that.
Look at Drew Down, dude.
But so same era, right? And so I looked up DJ, look at Drew down, dude. But so same era, right?
And so I looked up DJ,
and DJ Cook is the shit.
He's only 52, dude.
That is crazy.
How is that even possible?
We could be homies, remember?
Selly Cell.
Wow.
He had some good fucking Cali music, dude.
Did you see the thing Richie Rich?
Where he breaks his knee.
What?
Where he pops his knee.
Did I send it to you guys?
I don't know what that is.
Oh shit, who did I send it to?
Hold up, I gotta find this,
cause it's so funny.
It sounds fucked up.
Why don't we save it for luxury?
Yeah, we will, we'll save it for luxury.
But I gotta find who I sent it to,
cause man, it was funny.
We'll do it for luxury, so sign up for it.
There it is, I got it, I'll send it to you guys. Here, I'll send it to you guys so we can play it was funny. We'll do it for luxury, so sign up for it. There it is, I got it, I'll send it to you guys.
Here, I'll send it to you guys so we can play it on luxury.
Dude, he pops his knee and still keeps rapping.
And it's hilarious.
Pops his knee?
He's Richie Rich, he's like 55.
But what do you mean pops his knee?
He's like on this stage in a circle and he goes,
oh, and he just falls down and he keeps rapping, dude.
Wow, wow, wow.
We'll watch on luxury, it's so funny, dude. Wow.
These old rappers, man. I know.
I always wondered what it was going to be like when they got older.
I did too.
But True Down is not nearly as old as I thought he should be.
Bro, I'm his age. Exactly. Yeah, he's yours.
I mean, I'm 44, but like, I, I, I don't, that's, dude,
he has so much life left to live. That's wild. That's the craziest thing.
I would have thought he's at least 60.
Oh, oh, oh yeah.
But those rappers got-
What was he 12 when they were talking about?
Those rappers got, yeah.
Not the pimp of the year, you know?
The pimp of the year is just in third grade.
Can you feel me?
I got my Legos in the head.
Stacking up, making the cabin.
I got the yellow windows.
Na na na na na.
Sleep inside. Na na na na na. I got the yellow windows Have my tooth on a rocket and
You didn't intend that
Quiet he man is on so it's just like
Yeah, dude, that's crazy.
I did a poopy.
Just so young, three.
Pimp of the year, three years old.
Yo, what's up, what's up baby?
Yo, ma, what's up?
Come over here.
Well.
Ridiculous.
Busted and nut.
Yo, where my applesauce at?
All right, so.
Hell yeah.
Y'all want some applesauce, bitch?
You know?
Chris and Matt, love the podcast,
just gonna jump right into it.
So roughly about like three months ago,
I noticed I was having little heart flutters,
heart palpitations.
I went to go see a cardiologist
That I've been doing for like 40 years that cardiologist basically told me I should stop working out and well if anything heavier than body weight
Also more recently went to general general practitioner and they basically told me that was nonsense and I can continue to work out
So this question is geared more towards Chris
Continue to work out. So this question is geared more towards Chris
Just curious if like a doctor's two different doctors told you contradictory things would you still work out or would you stop? Yeah, and side note
Matt don't kill me on this
but anytime I see you for some reason or you remind me of like a love child between the lead singer of hosier and
Peewee Herman, sorry
Lastly how bitches it it for any grown adult
to get on or off a pool floaty?
All right, love you guys.
Oh yeah, so bitch.
That might've been when we made up bitch.
Isn't that guy really handsome, Hosier guy?
Yeah, he is good looking.
Do not mention that guy's eyes.
I get it, they were still blue,
but you mentioned too many guy's eyes.
I was gonna, but I,
this is how much I respect you and what you say.
I was gonna mention something about his eyes
right when he came up.
And I thought Chris isn't gonna like that, so I won't.
I'm in your head.
No, in my head.
He's okay looking.
I respect you and honor your wishes.
Yeah, thank you.
All that takes is for a guy to be tall
and he's kind of cool, you know?
That sucks for short guys.
Is that true?
I guess that's true.
So, all right, so listen, I think that,
bro, you can't, the second you stop moving
and stop doing what you do,
I'm not like gonna go so far and be like,
life's not worth living, but like,
your body starts to give up.
That's the beginning of giving up.
I don't think you stop moving.
I don't know if, you don't need to be a power lifter.
I mean, I understand if it's like,
don't kill yourself, right?
Like literally, but like, yeah, just go,
do what you can, go for hikes, go for, you know.
That's so fast.
I don't think you stop moving, bro.
That's not good. I don't think you stop moving, bro. That's not good.
Keep going to the gym.
You could throw some weight around.
How frustrating would that be?
To get those two separate diagnoses?
I've heard this one.
Well, yeah.
I've heard that before, though, the first one, like,
you can't do stuff.
Just period?
Yeah, your heart can't take it.
Yeah, I've heard that thing from people before. Jesus. At that age? Yeah, your heart can't take it. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that thing from people before
Jesus and I hate you. So yeah young that's
What I would be so paranoid if a doctor told me that
To ever pick up like yeah same
But I wouldn't stop I
Wouldn't stop I would keep going dude. What if both doctors said that?
I'd go to another one. You would just go to one until one said that's bullshit.
See, told you.
Right. No, no, no.
I would keep. But really though,
what would you do? I would go to at least three
if two said that,
cause I just would be like, you know,
if they really showed me proof
and like medical history of other people doing this,
then I would, you know, I would have to, you know,
then I might have to listen, but like.
Life. The second you stop moving though that's when your body starts to break down yeah that's not good like dude I remember you know how
that frozen shoulder it's doing much better because I keep moving it's doing
better huh much better see remember I wouldn't be I wasn't able to do that I
don't remember that shout out to Anthony Rivers who helped me out I remember you
in tons of pain who Who's Anthony Rivers?
He's my physical therapist.
Oh.
He works with the Lakers and me, I'm an athlete.
He works with the Lakers?
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's LeBron James, me.
LeBron James, James Worthy.
LeBron James.
Luke Walton.
Whoever else is on it.
And then me.
Nice.
Shaquille O'Neal.
Yeah. Who's the person that used to say, Shaquille O'Neal. Yeah.
Who's the person that used to say,
Shaquille O'Neal?
No, I exaggerate it, but it was Derrick E.
Shaquille O'Neal.
You know what you see, we'd also say Sean Kemp.
Sean Kemp is the most entertaining player in the NBA.
I used to get so mad.
Chris used to come into my room.
I was going to bed.
I was like, in what grade?
Like sixth grade, maybe?
Fifth grade, sixth grade.
He would come into my room when I was trying to sleep
and he would literally just do impressions
of everyone on his basketball team in high school.
Yep, and they were all probably so fucking mad.
I fucking would die laughing.
You would die laughing.
But I was so mad.
Yes.
And that only made me laugh more.
I was like, get out of my fucking room.
But he would be like, check with the onion.
You would die laughing.
And that was like, that really probably helped me
in becoming a standup comedian because I'm like.
I would imagine.
Because I'm like, I was just doing bits.
I was like interviewing the basketball team.
And I would like be like, oh, let's go to whoever.
And then I'd be like, I do him, I do his impression. And you'd laugh and I'd be like, what do you think? Yada, yada. And then I do him and I would like be like, oh, let's go to whoever. And then it'd be like, I'd do him. I'd do his impression and you'd laugh.
And I'd be like, what do you think, yada yada?
And then I do him and I was like, yeah.
And now I've, do those bits for 25 minutes on stage
and it's, and that's all because of you.
So if you hate my bits, it's cause of Matt.
Derrick E.
Blair.
Blair Schober.
Schober?
Robert Seastrom.
Robert Seastrom, dude.
Who I still talk to.
Do you really?
Yeah. Wow. I love Robert. Okay. Well, um
Damn dude, should we do one more? That's it
You have one yeah
What's up Madden Chris, what's up, my name is Nate a long time fans up Nate
My question is about the compliments. I am not great at
Receiving compliments. Gotcha there.
Yeah.
I do video production and video editing and a lot of people come up to me
and they're like, oh yeah I saw your project, good job, like it was really impressive.
Like, oh my god that was so good.
Or even some professional people have contacted me and let me know that my stuff has been good.
And I don't know, like for me It's just like it's words like it doesn't mean anything to me
And sometimes I feel like a dick about it. It's like part of it part of it
It's like I think I'm just my biggest critic
so like what I think is gonna weigh more than what other people think but at the same time I feel like
You know compliment should mean something so
um you know am I being a dick about it uh is should I be more appreciative of compliments
um or is it something that's just gonna come with age like I'm 19 so 19 bro could it just be like
that um you know thanks guys. Looks 35.
I mean, dude.
Good for you.
He's never had a problem breathing too.
That is unbelievable how well he could breathe.
No doubt.
Why?
Look at his nostrils.
They're awesome.
They're beautiful.
The opposite of me.
I mean, that's just amazing.
I think that compliment.
I think the right way to think about compliment is the per,
especially if you're like this, because I'm like this too,
I'm not good at receiving compliments,
but it's good to remember that it's about
the person giving the compliment,
or rather if you think about it that way,
you will react better.
Because it's almost like, if you think about it this way,
your response becomes more about letting that person know
you appreciate them
Yeah, cuz it sucks when they when you don't exactly and and also but also allow yourself to
Take it sure that's up that does come with age though. I'm talking about in the here and now
Just now
You know, it's not at all. What is it? It's by somebody like Luther Vandross or something. Oh, okay.
Yeah, just like respond in kind to the person
that gives you the compliment.
Yeah, you don't want, yeah, I,
it's tough when you give someone a compliment
and they're like,
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, you don't want that.
I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
because it's just dick.
Yeah, you don't want that.
And it is nice, and they are doing that to be nice
because they do like your stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't need to be giving people in the world
more reasons to not like us.
There's so many reasons to not like us, all of us.
So you don't need to help anybody out.
Just be like, oh, thanks.
It's all you need to do.
Yeah.
Oh, thanks so much.
You don't need to actually be affected by it.
Be like the guy who was peeing next to him
and the thing was like,
you know, I was thinking about the thing you just did.
Man, it really made me feel good.
Thank you very much.
It was really a lot of help.
The laminate thing, you know what I'm talking about?
The laminate?
Whatever, the card thing that he was trying to get in.
The number one caller that called in five ago
that he was like, yeah, I'm the security guy.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he talked to him P.
So find out where the guy's P and go say hi.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, so that's it.
That's nice.
You just say nice things.
Just be like, thanks.
Yeah.
Look him in the eyes, you know?
Yeah.
Cause we're just like, yo, thanks.
You're a dick.
Think about it like.
Also he, the guy's a nice guy, you can tell.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, that's why he cares.
It's just more about him, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If he didn't care, he wouldn't be calling in
and wondering if he's dick or not, you know?
Ah, yeah.
Okay.
But I get it.
I'm bad at receiving compliments too.
Not me anymore.
And trust me, I get them all the time.
Here, give me a compliment, this is how I react.
Hey, your hair's looking really good.
Oh, finally.
Finally someone noticed.
It's been four minutes.
Again, go ahead, do it again.
Hey, your hair's looking really good today.
Again?
Dude, if I had a,
honestly, if I had a dime for every time I heard that,
I would have probably 60 bucks.
Today.
Anyway, all right, cool.
So that's it. God, I hate that expression. If I had a nickel, oh yeah, cool. So that's it.
God, I hate that expression.
If I had a nickel.
Yeah, same.
You wouldn't be right.
You would have very little money.
Yeah, you'd have 10 cents.
I'll be in Toronto.
I'll be in Bismarck.
I'll be in Beaumont.
I'll be in Alabama.
And I'll be a bunch of different areas.
Go to chrislea.com to get tickets.
And McAllen, Texas is coming up mobile Montgomery Wichita can or no
I'm already doing doing that I did that yesterday thank you very much
Elvis thanks everybody we love you subscribe to the lifeline luxury
patreon.com slash lifeline luxury. I thank you. Hello.
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